disgrace--to--society

[disgrace--to--society]

“I’m losing myself. I’m so sad and afraid . I’m so fucking sad and afraid.”

— Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud.

[disgrace--to--society]

Follow @daily-self-depreciation for more daily jokes.

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Why aren’t there more posts on here about the Scooby Doo movies? Because seriously

these

are

the

best

movies

ever

[disgrace--to--society]

Dear Addiction…

When I was young, I only knew how to survive.

I didn’t have the sophistication to cope,

so instead of death by bullet or rope,

I chose you.

I admit that you were not my first choice,

but I learnt to love you with everything that I had.

Those were not pretty years,

or at least, that’s what the evidence would suggest,

but at best, I can only recall a haze.

As if the emotional wounds diverted the scar tissue to my eyes,

I was blinded to reality,

and that suited me just fine.

O sweet Addiction, how you kept the pain of loss at bay,

but hey,

that doesn’t mean they didn’t leave.

and that it didn’t tear me apart –

but by then, the years of reckless apathy,

had anesthetized my heart,

You were so good at drawing my eyes away from the destruction.

A circus sideshow next to a 10 car pile up on the highway.

Strange and pathetic, yes,

but it was enough,

enough to keep the comfort of detachment around.

which was profound,

because I knew that I was in the middle of the wreckage, dying.

But you taught me to keep my eyes on the showgirls,

and ignore the bleeding.

So I did.

I surpressed the pain till it became a cold, hard lump in the core of my being.

and odd as it sounds, I found it so safe and freeing,

to lock myself in your oh-so-familiar chains.

You were a faithful friend,

and were always there for me,

even when I never wanted you to be.

So, thank you,

and screw you.

Because I loved you for stopping the pain,

But I hate you for stealing the joy with it…

They say people will forget a lot of things,

but that they will never forget the way you made them feel.

If numb is a feeling,

then I will never forget you for it,

because all I can think of is the everything you made me never feel.

Dear Addiction,

I realize now, that my relationship with you was like bun-jee jumping without a chord,

An exhilarating rush of adrenaline and dread,

Buzzing on higher highs,

as I plunged to deeper death.

I don’t know how it happened,

Or when it happened,

Or whether or not it even happened at all,

but I got lynched from the fall.

Just before I exploded into the ground,

I felt the tightness of Love wrapping around my legs,

and I could feel the pressure of Grace all the way into my chest.

Bun-jee cable, snap, back, crack, ripped me out of free fall fantasy!

And in that dizzying, nauseating moment,

where you are lynched back towards the sky from whence you came,

gravity catches you again,

and there is a moment of stillness.

Pause – static.

As the blood pressure in my head dropped a little closer to normal, and the blurriness in my vision cleared,

I had this heavenly perspective of the hell I almost crashed into.

The veil was removed from my eyes, and I was forced to look at what I had become.

Dear Addiction,

You were so deceptive and secretive,

that even those closest to me had no idea that you were there,

and that you were killing me.

and you were killing me,

sapping Life and Love from me with no promises of ever making up for it.

But yet still I chose to be faithful to you,

my faithful friend,

my faithful destroyer.

I realized that you drowned out the real me,

sunk so deep into my endorphin delusion,

I was riddled with anger and confusion,

about who the hell I really was – and whether I even was at all.

Kurt Shröder

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Being “that guy people can go to about problems they’re having” is like being the only barber in town. You cut everyone else’s hair, but there’s no one to cut yours

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sorry i was late i can’t conceptualize time

[disgrace--to--society]

sometimes i don’t really exist.

sometimes i exist quite painfully.

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I am HEAVILY cursed and I blame 13 year old me

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Someone talk to me, I’m in a bad place and I need to vent before I do something extremely stupid and unforgivable. Please, someone. I know someone will read this. I NEED HELP.

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“You know how when you’re in a car and it’s pouring down rain, you go under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it’s almost peaceful. Then you finally get from under the bridge, and everything hits you a litter harder than before. You were my bridge.”

— (via only-seoul)

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reblog or like if you ever felt like this*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

follow for relatbale original sad shit! i feel like im already dead, i hate everything about myself!

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self care is getting so drunk that you forget you hate yourself