dramadedication44ru-blog
His Only Choice
Beware of a broken heart as that heartcould lead to losing their mind.
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Is it sick?
Is it sick that I just had a intense visual dream about how everything is going to play out? And I actually felt the feeling of what it's gunna feel like? I woke up excited wanting more.... I know I've lost my mind I've watched videos of Steven Stephens and others that have had the same thoughts as me and I feel their pain and it drives me to keep pushing forward and complete this task there has been moments where I have thought no, but I can't I want this I wanna watch these people ache and feel the pain I've went through Ive given it a lot of thought about a Facebook live post when I do am it's going to be on a Facebook that will be named on the day hours before it takes off, if I play my cards out right I can pull it off and take off for good but let's worry about staying where I'm at right now because it's dangerous to be here I have turned off every location I have because I am very close I have worried that they have tracked me email so I deleted it all and moved to another location today only a couple blocks away I sent everyone home for now and I told them when to come back this is gunna be a crazy story and something I wanna live idc anymore it is what it is
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Real shit
So the link I have left behind has brought right here to this post don't read anything before this because it's irrelevant to what has gone down yes some of it is like a warning to what was going on in my head but from this exact point forward will be a blog about the next week or so, I have come up with a improved blueprint on how I'm going to do what I am going to do and everyday will be written in here. First I wanna say to my family I'm sorry but I couldn't heal they say time say heals everything well I've been waiting years and it hasn't gotten better but worse yes my decisions haven't been the greatest but I don't know what to say other then my mental condition got worse and progressed into an absolute train wreck. Now my feelings today are anger but a small amount of motivation because I know now that I can do this and go through with it I've contemplated it and said it before but this time it's real the amount of hate and disgust I have and these feelings and how they were just thought nothing of or taken as a joke has made me into a monster, and this monster is going to release soon the day that this goes down I'm not holding anything back what these people don't understand is when you underestimate someone for so long there drive builds and builds and now that it's in motion there's no turning back, I just have to be smart and stay on my toes as I have. The satisfying moment will be the the look of shock and disbelief on there face when the time presents itself I wish I could record it and watch it every day this is what I'm living for right now this is my motivation to do what they think is impossible. Anyway that might be all for today I have had a long two and half days traveling and not sleeping much in tired and I will rest easy tonight knowing that this clock is ticking and it's going down not up... It's like I've gotten a sick and twisted way of looking at things but this is an amazing feeling and can't wait for that rush of adrenaline I have played out the scene over and over in this room and have chosen my words to perfection and been so precise as to going into my reactions to their actions and what options I can do. Next day, daddy's coming for his queen.....💯 🤘🏻⛽️🅰️🆖 1️⃣8️⃣0️⃣0️⃣♏️⭕️🅱️
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Non-Believers
I love that I'm not thought of asa threat so when I do decide to make that appearance and you hear them words like "oh u thought his was a game now shut your mouth and go inside quietly" the look on their faces is gunna be priceless....
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Same story but I think tonight that all comes to an end
dude every day i’m slipping more. i’m starting to fixate on suicidal thoughts. i want it more than i have before and that scares me. i’ve always had that one friend who saved me, that one friend who wouldn’t let my sadness overcome me. i’m past the point of no return now, though. how does one gracefully lose the only unconditional heart in their life? how could i convince myself to live when my counterpart is gone? i’m not okay, dude. i’m not okay
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hahahahaha this is such a fucking stupid thing to be suicidal over but :))))) i guess ill just fucking die :)))) the past few days have been EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY HELL and I can’t stop crying over tiny little things and i REALLY DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW OK but it doesn’t matter lmao
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“It soon became clear to me the Joker, so often described as a raving, homicidal madman… was actually a tortured soul crying out for love and acceptance. A lost, injured child trying to make the world laugh at his antics. And there, as always, was the self-righteous Batman. Determined to make life miserable for my angel. Yes, I admit it. As unprofessional as it sounds, I had fallen in love with my patient. Pretty crazy, huh?“
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I’m alone suddenly without anything able to distract my mind and these suicidal thoughts are really getting at me. I honestly need somebody to break this silent madness, but I don’t expect any company.
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Do you (remix)
I said do you like drugs I know she does she just shrugs says depends on what it was but yea I like to catch a buzz, take a dab we smoke some bud she don't care cause she in love but it get bad when there's no trust that ass is fat jeans are stuffed, I dog it out she like it rough layin down while I eat that tell me how it was when I'm done now that's feedback, addicted to that pussy but I ain't goin to rehab I need you like I need cash I need you like my weed stash, all in my lap blowin me while I blow these trees arching her back ass poking out while she on her knees, give me everything I want she get everything she need but what good is the TRUTH when no one else believes they tell you to stay the SAME but then they try to make you CHANGE telling HIM what SHE tellin ME now that's just running game saying show HER some RESPECT but the fact still remains, IF YOU DONT RESPECT YOURSELF DONT EXPECT ME TO BREAK THE CHAIN, what good is love without pain, once I get in she get insane, she rode this dick till she came, I smoke this L she give me brain, grab the bottle pop the champagne, she let it pop and drop wit no shame, she want that rock but not the cocaine --that ring up on her finger, you know them feelings linger, Ima smoker she a drinker, a bit of a over thinker, I'm the Martin to her Gina molly and Aquafina, couple pounds of the cheeba girls like this don't grow on trees tho u crazy if you leave her, she full of it tho Ima watch that shit pile, she the type to tell a lie all the time that's always been her style, I can see it in her smile, told her cry me a river in Egypt bitch you in da nile, guess we both too young and wild, to make it anywhere right now , but if that time come around and she ready to settle down and we can find some common ground, EVERY QUEEN DESERVE A CROWN, NOT NO BITCH THAT DID YOU DIRTY, ALWAYS JUST WANTED TO HURT ME MAN THAT BITCH WAS NEVER WORTHY LIKE
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JERSEYYYYY
WE BACK BABYYYYYY BOYS LETS EAT AND THEN SET UP
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We dem boys 🤘🏻 @tattooedleopard - when they at the door don't panic, don't panic
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Hmmmmm decisions, decisions.... which one you want? The 380, that's my baby if I pull it just think that prolly made me. Or the 40 cal don't mean a thing to me these bitches LOVE me #bang #thisgunnagetugly @tattooedleopard
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I thought I could? I thought I did? I really wanted too, and the thought of it made me believe that love was possible, that it wasn't only in fairytales. What we had/have cannot be duplicated, it's special and unbreakable. Please don't forget about me, my number hasn't changed I need to hear your voice. I'm broken into pieces and only you know how to put this puzzle back together. #truelove #iloveyou #imissyou #icantstandthisanymore #ineedtohearyourvoice #icantsleep #icantfocus #imlost #onemoretime @tattooedleopard
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