ducky-parkinson-blog

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky blushed at the thought, averting his gaze to the ceiling. He didn’t know if he was having sex to feel loved. He wanted to feel... Wanted, yes. But love? No. That hope was reserved for Robbie Zucco himself. Even if it was impossible. He shifted nervously under Robbie, bringing his hands up to cover his stomach, trying to make himself smaller. As if that would help. “I’m not going to get an STD.” Ducky grumbled, shaking his head. He made the fist, biting his lip. Was there really a need for Robbie to be on top of him?

ducky

“Either or,” Robbie replied, half shrugging. “It depends on what he wants. If he wants me to fuck him, I do. If he wants to fuck me, then go ahead. Most guys are firm one way or the other. And a lot of guys like to pretend you’re a chick when they bang you, so they, like, don’t look at you. But it’s whatever, y’know? I don’t have sex to feel loved.” Robbie didn’t usually talk so openly about himself; he could be brutally honest in every aspect of his life, but himself was a subject he tended to stay away from. He thought it might ruin his whole thing if he revealed too much. He blamed it on where they were, that his room made him feel too safe and too open, that his sanctuary was a dangerous place for him to be with his friends. So, he stopped himself from saying anything else too personal. “Hey, don’t give me that look,” Robbie said. “I just don’t want you to get some STD, okay?” Robbie grinned at Ducky, reaching for the lube. This, he figured, was where Ducky’s knowledge was lacking, even if it was the second most important part to having sex with a dude—the condom, obviously, was the first. He squirted some onto his hand, tossing the bottle down as he started swirling his fingers together. “Make a fist and hold in front of me. Clench it real tight.”

#c: robbie #c: wicked game #c: way back then

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky seemed to be finding all of his friends on the shoreline. Robbie, Devon. It was like they went there to escape, and Ducky knew he did too. He just hadn’t realized how alike they all still were. Escaping to the exact same place. Seeing the small figure, Ducky sighed. He was actually coming to swim, for once. In LA, he hadn’t really gotten the chance to go to the beach and actually get in the water. But in Samoa, that’s all you could do. “... I wasn’t sneaking.” He said, plopping down next to Cassie and plucking the cigarette from her mouth, taking his own drag. Like old times. “Hi.”

Wave after Wave | Ducky

“I, I’m spread way too thin Everybody wants to know what’s happenin I, I’m spread way too thin What’s the big rush now, tell me why you’re rushin”

Cassie hummed the song softly under her breath as she stared out across the massive body of water. It was twilight and the waves were slowly dwindling to just the slight movements the moon caused. It had been a while since she’d been back to the ocean, back to this spot, five years actually. But who was counting? She needed to be alone. She needed to think, and there was no where better for that than the ocean. The silence might be deafening but it was exactly what she needed. She pulled out a cigarette from her pack, lit it, and let her lungs fill with smoke as she took a drag. She continued the cycle of puffing on the small cancerous stick and exhaling for a few minutes. Until footsteps behind her interrupted what little thoughts were running through her mind.

“You know you can say something, because sneaking up on someone is useless when I can hear you coming.”

#c: cassie #c: wave after wave

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky Parkinson Moodboard [1/?] 

"People disappeared, reappeared, made plans to go somewhere, and then lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away."

#fivetask #moodboard #about

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

The Five Moodboard [1/?] - 

“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo In so much space”

#the five #moodboard #fivetask #robbie #devon #cassie #mallory

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky shrugged. “Flip a coin?” He was feeling good. Despite knowing that the moment of happiness between them wouldn’t last, he was feeling happy. For once. It wasn’t exactly an emotion he was going to complain about. At all. “Yeah?” He grinned. “How much you want to bet they’ll mention Cass?” Declan didn’t know if he believed in fortune tellers or not, but they had a way with words, right? He tore a piece off the cake, popping it into his mouth. “It’s not that mysterious.” Ducky laughed again, sitting down at a bench so they could eat.

ducky

     “Love tunnel, fortunes, food, colorful floats – How do we even decide?” Devon mused lightly, walking beside Ducky as they navigated the crowd. He wondered if Ducky was thinking of Robbie, he wondered why Robbie hadn’t come. He could have used the day of fun, Dev could imagine, but didn’t ask questions. Maybe he didn’t want to know. “I like the fortune idea,” He finally decided as they came up to the food stand, and Devon fished around for the money Ducky had lent him to pay for a funnel cake. The elephant ears looked amazing, and he made a mental note to come back for that later. “You know, see what the mysterious future holds in store for us,” Devon teased, getting a spooky voice on for show. He didn’t believe that crap, never had.

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Devon Adani & Declan Parkinson; 2015 -- "Regrets" Moodboard 1/2

                                         I’m sorry but I fell in love tonight.                                                               I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight.                                      You’re looking like you fell in love tonight.                           Could we pretend that we’re in love?

                                                      Coming home is a feeling only to be described                                                               as a comforting hug from someone you so                                                                                                                 dearly missed.

#devon #ship: duckon

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky got to his feet shakily, still clinging to Devon’s arm. “You are not. You’re practically a baby.” He laughed, holding out his hand. “I’m fucking trembling.” Despite that, he felt impossibly giddy. “That was so awesome.” He grinned, looping their arms together as they walked down the platform. “Now, funnelcake and beer and then we’re going to go into the love tunnel ride thing.” He squeezed Devon’s arm before releasing it, knowing better than to get too close. They weren’t anything special. They were just best friend’s. They weren’t even love tunnel worthy. Not really. “Or maybe we can just get our fortunes told or something...” 

ducky

     Unable to much due to his laughter, Devon just held on to Ducky, enjoying the blast of air as they careened over the track and the weight of Declan pushing fearfully into him. It felt like only seconds had gone by as the ride slowed down, tugging up to the platform where everyone was to get off. “Oh, God, I’m getting too old for this,” Devon groaned, though the smile on his face contradicted his statements. “Are you okay? Because personally, I thought that was awesome.”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky liked rollercoasters. He liked the rush of adrenaline. It was just like scary movies; they’re awesome, but terrifying. Declan loved them, but he needed someone to hide behind. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God. We’re gonna die!” He laughed hysterically into Devon’s neck, shifting and clutching his hand tightly. “Shit!” Declan screamed, pressing closer to his friend, laughing fearfully. “We’re going to fucking die.” He laughed, opening his eyes and screaming again.

ducky

      The broad grin on Devon’s face beamed as he wrapped his arm tight around Ducky’s shoulders, his other hand coming to rest on top of his on the bar. He’d never ridden on something like this with Ducky – Cassie, yes, the fearlessness in her eyes a far cry from Ducky’s own whimper. “You’ll be fine,” Devon mumbled close to Ducky’s ear as the ride went up the first slope approaching the drop. “Duck, calm down, close your eyes or hold on to me. Okay, here it comes…. wait for it…” As the ride plummeted down, Devon gave a loud whoop, loving the thrill and the way it all stopped for a moment. Maybe this was how Mallory felt when she took all those drugs. Maybe not. Devon didn’t care – Ducky was held against him close, and the long dark locks whipped back from his head, and for a moment, things felt alright. 

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky and Devon weren’t meant to be together. He knew that. His entire life, he’d known that Cassie was Devgi and Robbie’s. They belonged to her and she belonged to him. Even now that they’re older, Ducky can still see how much both of them want to be around her all the time. Declan wasn’t a part of that. He couldn’t be. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He squeezed his friend’s fingers before sliding into the seat next to Devon, their shoulders pressed together tightly. “... I should probably tell you.” Declan swallowed when the bar went down in front of them, locking them in.” I’m scared of rollercoasters. This doesn’t go upsidedown does it? Because if it goes upside down I’m going to lose it. Oh my god, Dev, this was a bad idea. Why didn’t we decide to do this? We shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe we should -- Oh fuck. It’s moving. It’s moving. It’s moving, Devgi. Devon. Dev.”

ducky

     He tried to blame it on a lost closeness and overcompensation, but Devon felt a pull towards Ducky. One that hadn’t been there back in high school. He just wanted to be close, and with his intertwining with Ducky’s, the smile on Dev’s face was impossible to get rid of. “Yeah, I like big ones,” Devgi played along with an unimpressed roll of his eyes. He got the joke. Glancing at his friend, Devon lingered for a minute. Was it possible that Ducky’s face had gotten more mature over the past couple of years? He was beginning to grow into such a large name such as Declan. “Let’s sit here, in the front,” Devon cleared his throat, leading the way and sliding into the seat first, arm resting across the back of it behind where Ducky would sit. 

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky rocked on his heels, excited to get started. He hadn’t been able to really go to a carnival for years. And the parade was going to last all day. It was going to be perfect. He’d decided. “Oh, we can?” Declan grinned, but it faded when Devon turned to him, close. It wasn’t -- It was distracting, who was he kidding? Everything about him made Ducky’s face turn hot. His eyes tracked Devon’s tongue, fingers twitching. “... Oh, okay.” Declan nodded. “You like big ones?” He smirked, taking Dev’s hand and dragging him towards the less-than-safe ride.

ducky

      “Mm, alright,” He shrugged, though made a mental note to spend as little as possible and return what was left to Ducky before he was dropped back off at home. If anyone knew how expensive adult life itself was, Devon did. “Yeah, why not. What’s a roller coaster without a little vomit? Nah, we can ride stuff first,” He teased lightly before turning serious, hovering near the trailer and standing close to Ducky. Maybe he was right – food could always come later. His eagerness to make sure Ducky stayed happy that day had made him jump at the first sign of appeal. The question that came made Devon nervous, had his tongue slid out to wet his lips. “Oh, you know, a few years ago,” Came the vague reply. Oh, you know… graduation night. “Hey, let’s go ride that one, the big one. Wanna?”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky shrugged, shoving his hands into his back pockets. “Yeah. My mom sends me a lot and stuff. I’m fine.” He didn’t know enough about managing money; he spent too much, gave too much away. Managing a home was going to be a disaster, and he didn’t even know it. “Of course we’ll stay civil.” Declan promised, reaching out and squeezing his friends shoulder, resisting the urge to kiss him on the cheek. “Oh, so we should eat and drink before we get on rollercoasters?” He asked with a sly grin. “When was the last time you got drunk?”

ducky

     Hesitantly, Devon took the money, giving a concerned look to Ducky. “Are you sure, I mean – bills and stuff?” He questioned, feeling a bit bad that he didn’t much to offer the event himself. What money he did have was saved, rarely ever being spent. “Eh, I don’t see why not, just so long as we stay civil,” Devon answered carefully, though he himself would not be indulging. His eyes scanned the lines of carts, vendors leaning out to entice the crowd. One of the trailers had lights spelling out the words of the fatty treat Ducky so desired, and Dev took his arm gently to steer them in the direction of the trailer. “Let’s get you fed before you start drinking though. It’ll feel best that way.”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky felt better. Today, he’d forget that things had been weird for years. He’d forget that Robbie was mad at him. He’d forgot Tyler had died. He’d forget how nice Devon’s hair fingers between his fingers and how his mout -- “You’re a saint.” Declan laughed, shaking his head. It was going to be a good day. “I’m renting a house.” He pointed out. “I have more money than I know what to do with.” Ducky shrugged, handing Devon’s a hundred dollar bill. That should cover him for the day, right? His “I was too drunk to remember any of that.” He laughed, bumping their hips. “Do you think they’ll let us drink?”

ducky

     The weight that Devon carried with him for all of his friends and his worrying for their well-being lifted at Ducky’s stiff laugh. Ducky would be fine for today, and was already smiling. “I promise I will subject myself to a very probable case of diabetes and sugar induced comas and eat a funnel cake with you,” Devon nodded seriously, keeping the sinister expression until a smile cracked through, and he gave another chuckle. Following his friend out of the car, Dev came around the front of it, eyebrows raised. “Either you have more money than I thought you did, or you have way too much faith in me,” He started, headed towards the sounds of a carnival in full swing. Huh, Ducky hadn’t been kidding – they really outdid themselves this year. “Remember how I can’t even throw a ping pong ball into a cup sober?”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

MALLORY TINKER MOODBOARD // MUCKY ducky-parkinson

♬ “I came across a fallen tree I felt the branches of it looking at me Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of? Oh simple thing where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin And if you have a minute why don’t we go. Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know?”

“Ducky Parkinson - the boy with dark eyes that begs to be loved. I love him, my heart would go to the end of the earth for him - and jump off the edge, to float forever alone in the atmosphere.  We’ve had some good times, mostly ones that you don’t tell your children ‘bout in fear of being a bad influence. I mean—.. I’m never going to tell my children or his, how we’ve tasted the stars, how they’ve danced on our fingertips.”

↳ “Don’t worry - that guys just a big jerk, did you see how Robbie took care of him? You’ll never have to worry every again, we’ve got you - Ducky. That’s your new name, I like it, it fits you… we’ll take care of you, I promise, pinky promise.”

#mallory #ship: mucky #crying

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky’s smile turned genuine, his muscles relaxing a little. For some reason, and only God understood why, Devon had that effect on Declan. Even with years apart, it was unshakable, it seemed. Despite how mad Ducky wanted to be, he just couldn’t be. “It’s almost as tall as you.” He tried to joke. It was lame. So lame. He was lame. And shitty. Declan shifted his grip on the steering wheel, snorting out a laugh. “Alright, deal. But we’re getting a funnel cake, okay? Promise you’ll eat a funnel cake with me.” He drove a little ways, towards Eureka before he pulled off and parked. “I want a big bear.” Ducky grinned, getting out of his car and paying the meter. 

ducky

    Chuckling, and choosing to ignore the bit of tension that resonated inside of the vehicle, Devon kept the easy smile on his face and looked out the window. He still was shocked to be back home, it’d been so long. “Shit, for real? Man, our little town is growing up,” He mused, looking back at the driver’s side to see if Ducky would give a laugh. He liked Ducky’s laugh. He missed Ducky’s laugh. “I say we go there first before it disappears when it realizes it came to the wrong town for fun.” Not that Devgi and his friends were ever left without their fair share of amusement, but they made it for themselves. Most likely, the other residents of the sleepy little Samoa and the surrounding areas were suffering a bleak boredom. “I’ll win you a stuffie…. with your money.”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky smiled, a little nervous. Devon seemed so... At ease. Maybe things weren’t going to be bad as he thought it might be. Maybe things were already getting better. “I was already driving around.” He explained, his smile turning shy. “It’s... It’s okay. It should be a lot of fun. We can... Yeah.” Struggling with words wasn’t his usual MO, but he was feeling... Weirdly vulnerable, sitting next to Devon. The last time they’d been in a car together, it hadn’t ended well. Or it had. But. Not. “Uh, what do you wanna do first? I heard they brought a carnival in this time.”

ducky

     “Hey,” Devon smiled easily, sliding into the seat beside Ducky and shutting the door behind him. He’d never owned a car, or even thought about it. Money was too rare, and he felt confident walking almost anywhere, or hitching rides when he could. “You got here fast,” He observed, buckling his seat belt up and getting comfortable. It’d been a surprise to Dev when the text had come through – he and Ducky had only just started falling back into their ways, and it didn’t seem likely he was the first choice for the outing. But Devgi knew better to question it. “I haven’t been to a parade in five years. I’m excited. Thanks for, you know… asking me.”

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

Ducky pulled up in front of Cassie’s house, staring nervously at the front door before texting him: Here. It was going to be awkward. Duck was supposed to share the day with Robbie, but... He was pretty sure his best friend was upset with him. And it was wrong, but when he needed someone and Robbie was upset... Ducky turned to Devon. It was wrong, but it was habit. They needed to be friends again anyway. They needed to get back to normal. Despite the “ily”s and  Ducky’s apprehension. “Hi.” He breathed when the door opened.

#c: devon #c: welcome to the black parade

[ducky-parkinson-blog]

TEXT: Devon

Devon: ily

#t: devon #phone