edactually

[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.6

Ed heard a popping noise and looked up to see Stede had popped the cork out of a champagne bottle. There must have been an ice bucket that he’d missed in his awe. As Stede poured them each a glass of champagne, Ed spied that the label on the bottle said it was non-alcoholic.

Stede had thought of everything.

And as Stede lifted his glass to clink against Ed’s in a toast, Ed could think of only one thing:

He was in love with Stede Bonnet.

He’d figured that was the case before, but always denied the thought or told himself it was too soon and he was being irrational or tried to distract himself from thinking about it too much. But it wasn’t imaginary or a passing fancy or even an infatuation. 

Ed was in love.

He hadn’t known what love felt like before, but now he did. It was still too soon to tell Stede how he felt, but he could tell himself now, and it was a step in the right direction.

Stede was chattering away, and Ed just sat there with his chin propped on his hand, letting him talk. He loved hearing Stede talk, about anything and everything. He gesticulated with his hands when he got particularly animated about something, and he was doing it now, hands waving wildly around as he regaled Ed with details of how he’d been running round the house as quietly as possible to get everything set up without waking him, how he’d made dinner the night before and just needed to reheat it and how he hoped that was ok but he hadn’t been sure of how else he could have made it a surprise. 

If Ed hadn’t fallen asleep, then Stede admitted he would have had to tell Ed to stay in the bedroom while he arranged his surprise, and it was a good thing he had slept for so long because if he had woken up earlier then it would have meant eating dinner in the early afternoon.

“Sorry, I’m talking too much.” Stede laughed as he took a sip of his champagne.

It was a nervous laugh, Ed could tell.

“You haven’t said anything,” Stede continued, setting his glass down. “All of this, it’s not too much is it? Only I so badly wanted to take you on a real first date but we can’t go out in case someone recognises you and–”

“Stede.”

Stede shut up as soon as Ed spoke, and Ed reached across the table to take his hand.

I love you.

“I love it.” Ed said.

Stede breathed out a deep sigh of relief. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Ed looked at Stede’s face. At the scattering of freckles like stars, the soft curve of his smile, that one damn curl that insisted on falling over his forehead every time, his hazel eyes that glowed in the candlelight. “I do.”

“Wonderful.” Stede lifted Ed’s hand to kiss the back of it. “Let me just go and check on dinner, I’ll be right back.”

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[edactually]

The Menu

ALT TEXT:

MENU Starter Chicken consommé (served in a bowl, no tureens in sight) Main Ratatouille (served with a side of kisses) Dessert Chocolate dipped strawberries (whipped cream available)

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[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.5

Ed unzipped the garment bag to reveal a purple suit. Not velvet, like the one he’d worn to the art gallery (god, had that really only been two months ago? It felt like years) but still a very fine fabric by his estimations as he stroked a sleeve. The colour was a deep amethyst for the jacket and trousers and Stede had provided a silky black shirt to go with it along with a pair of smart polished shoes.

What on earth did Stede have in mind that would require him to wear a suit? It wasn’t like they could go out anywhere, it was too risky that he’d be recognised and someone would snap a photo to post online and there went their secret dating plan. Not that Ed would really mind that. It would cause a lot of drama, but he’d get to publicly yell about Stede being his boyfriend and that felt worth it.

But keeping their relationship secret protected Stede from the online hate that was thrown at him like mud, so Ed would go along with it to keep him safe.

He changed into the suit and buttoned a few buttons less on the shirt than was likely ‘proper’ for such an outfit, but Ed was hoping this whole treasure hunt would lead to a grand seduction, so sue him for wanting a head start. He tried to do something stylish with his hair, but settled on pulling half of it back and letting the rest hang in loose waves.

He waited at the top of the stairs as instructed and called Stede.

He picked up almost immediately. “Hello, dove.”

“Hi, baby.” Ed couldn't help smiling at the sound of Stede’s voice. “I hope I didn’t mess up your plans by sleeping for too long.”

“Not at all. I was a little worried you’d only sleep for a couple of hours and would catch me in the middle of setting everything up, but you were just as tired as I suspected.”

Ed rolled his eyes. Trust Stede to see straight through his lie about sleeping on the plane. “Well, I’m rested, showered, dressed and waiting. What’s next?” He heard the sound of Stede’s doorbell chiming and fought the urge to yell about the interruption. “Someone’s at the door.”

“Is there?” Stede’s feigned surprise voice didn’t fool Ed for a second. “You had better answer it then.”

Ed bounded down the stairs like an excitable puppy. He heard Stede chuckle at the other end of the line and then his phone beeped to indicate the call had ended. No matter, he already knew who was at the door.

Ed shoved his phone into his jacket pocket as he pulled open the front door.

And he melted on the spot.

It was Stede, of course it was Stede. But he was wearing his powder blue suit from the art showing, the suit that brought out the gold in his hair and was fitted to perfection to accentuate all of Stede’s best parts (which was every part, in Ed’s opinion).

But it wasn’t the suit that turned him into a puddle.

Stede was holding a bouquet of edelweiss and chamomile flowers.

He handed them to Ed as he stepped over the threshold and closed the front door. Upon closer inspection, the flowers were made of silk rather than being real, but they still smelled absolutely divine. Stede must have sprayed them with some kind of fragrance because they smelled sweet and fresh, like honey drizzled over ice cream.

“You look stunning.” Stede made a show of pretending his knees were buckling, and he placed a hand against the wall like he was trying to keep himself from fainting dead away at the sight.

Ed laughed. “You would know.”

Stede grinned and offered Ed his arm. “Are you ready?”

Ed linked his arm through Stede’s without hesitation, although he was still confused as to what Stede’s plans entailed. “Ready for what?”

“Our first real date.” Stede continued talking but Ed barely heard a word. “I’ve got a reservation at a very exclusive restaurant. Very private. Had to pull a lot of strings to get us a table, but you’re worth it.”

Ed let himself be led, dazed, into a room downstairs he hadn’t been in before. Stede opened the door and allowed Ed to go in first, so he was able to take in the moderately sized dining room. There was a table set up with two table settings, with an empty vase as the centrepiece. Stede carefully took the bouquet from Ed and placed it in said vase, then walked around the room lighting the dozens of candles that were scattered over every available surface.

By the time Stede was finished, the room was bathed in a soft, warm glow and his boyfriend stood with his hands resting on the back of one chair, gesturing for Ed to take a seat. He followed the silent instruction in his dreamlike state, and Stede stroked one hand lightly over his hair before he took his own seat opposite Ed at the table.

Ed realised that there was an actual menu on the table and he picked it up to scan his eyes over it, breaking into a smile when he realised Stede had made it himself and had been adorable.

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[edactually]

Note No. 3

ALT TEXT:

Hello sweetheart, If you would be so kind as to put on the outfit I have chosen for you, I would like it very much. It’s in the blue garment bag in the wardrobe. If you’d rather wear something else then that’s perfectly fine. I have left your bags on the bed if you’d like to wear your own clothes instead. Once dressed, your next step is to go to the top of the stairs and call me. x

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[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.4

The shower was absolute heaven, and just what he needed to sap the weariness his journey had caused from his muscles. Trust Stede to know exactly what he needed to relax when he wasn’t aware of it himself. He stayed in there perhaps a little longer than was necessary, but once he had the hot water pounding into his muscles and the scent of lavender wafting through the steam, it was difficult to leave.

Once out, he rummaged for where he knew Stede kept his guest toothbrushes and found a fresh one sealed in its packet. As he brushed his teeth, he thought about heading back to Stede’s bedroom to spritz on a bit of his boyfriend’s cologne, but decided it wasn’t in the spirit of this treasure hunt Stede was leading him on, so he settled for borrowing a can of deodorant to spray and went to the guest bedroom clad only in his fluffy towel.

Part of him hoped Stede might be in there lying naked in bed and wrapped in pretty bows for Ed to untie, but the bedroom was empty.

A note was attached to the wardrobe door however.

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[edactually]

Note No. 2

ALT TEXT:

Hello dearest, I thought you might like to take a shower and refresh after your journey. I’ve added some lavender shower products, but you’re welcome to use whatever you like. Once showered, your next stop is the guest bedroom x

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[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.3

Stede had prepared a treasure hunt for him. Well, he’d called it a surprise, but if following the instructions meant Ed would be reunited with Stede again, then it was a treasure hunt as far as he was concerned.

With a grin that threatened to split his face in two, Ed headed for the bathroom, not even bothering to stop and get dressed first. It had been the right call, as he walked in to find his next note waiting against a stack of fluffy towels.

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[edactually]

Note No. 1

ALT TEXT:

Hello, my darling I have prepared a surprise for you, but you must follow my instructions exactly. You’re clever enough to work it all out, I’m sure, but no cheating! Each note from me will direct you to a new task and destination, please follow them in order. Your first stop is the bathroom, please go there to find your next instruction. See you soon x

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[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.2

When Ed woke up, something was wrong.

His eyes were unfocused as they opened, but one thing they confirmed quickly was that Stede was not in bed with him. Ed stretched his arm out across the mattress, but it felt cold. Stede hadn’t just nipped to the bathroom, he’d been gone for a while. Had he been thinking rationally, Ed would have thought of a plausible explanation, but his brain was sleep-addled, and all he could think about was that his boyfriend was gone and Ed didn’t know where.

“Stede?” He called out into the dark as he flipped the bed sheets back. The only light he could use to see by was the dull glow from Stede’s bedside alarm clock, which told him he’d been asleep for seven hours. He fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp and squinted when the bright light hurt his eyes. However, it not only illuminated the bedroom, but also a single red rose with a card attached.

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[edactually]

Ed POV - 11.1

To say that the brief couple of days he’d spent without Stede were a torment would be an over-exaggeration, but fuck it, that’s how it felt to Ed.

Being apart for a month when they had been in that fragile, undefined state had been bad enough, but that had mostly been due to Ed spending his every waking moment questioning what was going on between them, how Stede felt, if it be too much to ask for a definition of their relationship.

Now that Stede was his boyfriend (his real, actual, genuine boyfriend - Ed would never get tired of saying it), the separation was so much worse. Before, he’d only been missing the possibility of what he could have. Now he’d experienced it and Ed knew exactly what he was being left without in Stede’s absence.

Things with the band had been tense as well. Fang was sweet, Ed had no problem with Fang (although he could see his friend was constantly bursting to bring Stede up and didn’t, for his sake). Ivan was clearly on a guilt streak and kept trying to do nice things for him like bringing him his favourite coffee with extra syrup, procuring different baked goods for him to try, even leaving him notes to find that said things like ‘hope today is good’ and ‘we appreciate you.’

Izzy, however, wasn’t speaking to him at all.

Good. Ed had nothing to say to him.

If Izzy had something to say that Ed needed to hear, it was addressed to the whole band. Ed had noticed Ivan and Fang were always in the room with them as well. They never allowed Ed and Izzy to be alone together.

Ed was still a professional, and he conducted the next show as he always did, even if it included some banter with Izzy onstage. To the fans, it looked like nothing was amiss, but for anyone witnessing their interactions close up, Izzy’s clenched jaw and Ed’s icy stare were obvious.

Ed had his bags packed and ready to go on Thursday, although if this long weekend went as he was hoping, he wouldn’t need any clothes at all. The rest of the guys were getting a flight home on Friday afternoon, but Ed couldn’t wait that long and had paid extra to switch his flight to an earlier one. As far as the guys were concerned, he was still pissed off and heartbroken and didn’t want to be stuck on the same plane as them.

He had felt jittery for the whole flight, getting through the airport, sitting in the back of the cab, even as he pulled up in front of Stede’s house. The key was underneath Tempest, whose mane he gave a little stroke as he retrieved it, and then Ed was practically running up to Stede’s front door to let himself in. He kicked it shut behind him and dropped his stuff in the hallway then headed straight for the kitchen where he could smell the delicious scent of blueberry pancakes.

When he opened the door and came face-to face with his boyfriend wearing nothing but an apron just like he’d suggested, Ed almost fainted. The man was an absolute menace and god, Ed couldn’t get enough of him. He had kissed Stede like a starved man, and his rumbling stomach confirmed that it wasn’t far from the truth. Seeing Stede’s shapely arse peeking out the open back of the apron as he walked away to make breakfast almost did Ed in. The little slap to Stede’s backside had been because he just couldn’t resist, but he’d been joking about actually spanking him, until Stede had revealed he was rather interested in that idea.

That had been hot as fuck, watching Stede cook breakfast for them trying not to squeal and make a mess of their food as Ed tried to make his arse cherry-red. And then to go from that to just having breakfast together, discussing coffee machines and Stede’s issues with his father and then Stede’s thoughts on why he wanted to be so sexually adventurous - it was like nothing Ed had ever experienced. He’d had good sex and meaningful discussions before, but never with the same person. It was because Stede had been so open that Ed felt safe in bringing up something that had worried him. 

Things between them had been so passionate so far, and Ed feared that Stede wouldn’t find a softer approach interesting when he wanted to explore all his other options. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Stede was immediately onboard.

He allowed Stede to take him by the hand and guide him up the stairs (he would have insisted Stede go up first anyway, so Ed could get another good look at his arse). When they reached Stede’s bedroom, Stede sat him down on the edge of the bed and knelt down to untie his boots for him. He was so slow about everything, yet he was treating Ed with all the care in the world, as though he deserved his undivided attention.

“Just so you know,” Ed said as he watched Stede unlace his boots. “I get tested regularly and my last one came back with everything negative.”

Stede looked up as he tugged a boot free and set it aside. “Me too. I’ve never been with anyone but Mary but when I came out, Lucius told me it was just good practice to be checked regularly to get in the habit.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else,” Ed added, and judging by Stede’s surprised but soft smile, he knew what Ed was saying, but Ed spoke it aloud anyway. “Not since I met you.”

After the boots were off, Ed’s tee was next (his coat having already been abandoned in Stede’s hallway). Ed lifted his arms up so Stede could pull it up by the hem and over his head. He folded it rather than tossing it onto the floor like Ed would have done, and placed it carefully on top of his dresser. When he came back to remove Ed’s jeans, Ed had reclined on the bed, lured to temptation by the comfy mattress and Stede’s soft sheets.

Stede smiled at him as he unzipped Ed’s jeans. “Are you sure you’re not too tired for this, my darling?”

He’d had two cups of coffee, he was raring to go. Ok, so maybe his eyes were drooping a little and maybe he hadn’t actually slept since Wednesday night and only for a couple of hours at most, but he wasn’t missing out on this chance. “I’m wide awake.” Ed said, and then a yawn escaped and betrayed him.

Stede giggled and angled Ed’s hips up off the mattress so he could tug his jeans down. It suddenly felt less sexy and more like Stede was helping him get ready for bed. “I think you had better get some rest.”

“I didn’t rush home to see you just to miss out on time together by sleeping.” Ed pouted.

His jeans were off, and Stede folded those as well and placed them on the dresser with his shirt. “What have I told you about taking care of yourself?” Stede started messing with the knot tied at his back until he got it loose, and then removed his apron. Ed’s eyes went immediately to his boyfriend’s cock, not caring how obvious he was being. To his dismay, Stede opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of navy boxer briefs. Ed got a little bit of a show as Stede stooped down to pull them on, but then his boyfriend suddenly wasn’t naked any more and it was making him feel sulky.

Stede moved over to the window and pulled the curtains closed, and suddenly the bedroom was enveloped in darkness. Stede had blackout curtains and it took Ed’s eyes a moment to adjust to pick out the figure of Stede making his way over to the bed and then pulling back the covers. “Time for bed.”

“Time for bed or time for sleep, those are two different things.”

He heard Stede laugh, and then the slight depression of the mattress as Stede climbed onto the bed. “Sleep.”

“It’s already morning, we can’t sleep now.” Ed yawned again.

“If we sleep now, we’ll have more energy later.” Stede answered, and then Ed felt a hand tugging at his shoulder. “Now come here, I want to cuddle.”

Cuddles did sound very nice actually. 

Ed slipped under the covers and curled into Stede’s front. He liked being the little spoon, but he also liked being face to face with Stede so he could nuzzle into his shoulder. Stede’s arms wrapped around his back and pulled him in close and Ed sighed happily as one of Stede’s hands went to his hair and began stroking. “God, I missed you so fucking much.”

“I missed you too.” Stede murmured. “Now get some rest. I know you sleep better with me next to you, so you have no excuse.”

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[edactually]

Stede POV - 11.7

Stede didn’t have long until Ed arrived and he was panicking. 

He’d picked up the photo album yesterday, but flipping through the pages now just made him feel silly. God, what had he been thinking? This was far too much. They hadn’t even been dating a week and Stede wanted to give this to Ed as a gift?

Stupid idea.

He snapped the album closed and shoved it into the drawer of his bedside table. He could think of another gift for Ed. A better one.

He chickened out of the apron idea as well, opting for a soft cotton shirt and trousers, and made his way downstairs to start preparing breakfast.

It was as he was whisking the batter that he wondered if Ed would grow tired of blueberry pancakes. Stede knew Ed liked them so it had seemed like a good idea to make them, but now he was wondering if the novelty had worn off. Maybe Ed liked blueberry pancakes, but he didn’t want to eat them all the time. Maybe he would get bored of them if he wasn’t bored already. Maybe he wanted to try more interesting breakfast food like waffles or poached eggs.

Stede hadn’t asked Ed if he was exclusive to blueberry pancakes. He’d just made assumptions again. Probably best to ask him when he got here, just to make sure they were on the same page about breakfast foods.

Pull yourself together, Bonnet.

He whisked the batter harder, trying to blot out those troublesome thoughts creeping in again, and half of the contents of the bowl sloshed over the side and onto his shirt and trousers.

Fuck’s sake. Maybe the apron was a practical idea after all.

He tossed the shirt and trousers into the laundry hamper in the utility room. He didn’t have time to plan another outfit and make breakfast, and he didn’t want to just throw on anything. Ed had asked to see him in nothing but the apron, and it would make clean up easier if he spilled pancake batter everywhere again.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Stede plucked the apron hanging on the back of the door from its hook. He only ever bothered with it when he was cooking something particularly messy. The apron itself wasn’t fancy, just a navy and white striped number, but it was all he had.

As he knotted the string around his waist, Stede did wonder if he should have gone out and bought a new one, as this one did have a grease stain on the front pocket from when some butter had gone rogue, and he’d never managed to get it out. Hopefully Ed wouldn’t notice.

He didn’t feel particularly sexy as he went back to preparing breakfast, but he put that down to insecurity and being stuck in his own head. He was getting better at recognising the signs, although shutting that negative part of his brain off still proved to be a challenge. At least cooking was enough of a distraction that he didn’t have to think too hard about the fact that he was cooking naked except for the apron over his front. If he focused on quantities of flour and milk and eggs then he didn’t have the opportunity to start thinking he looked ridiculous and worry that Ed would just laugh at him when he came in.

He was just about to pour the batter into the pan when the sound of a car door slamming made his ears prick up. He set the bowl down and listened carefully.

There was a scraping sound, and footsteps, and then the unmistakable sound of a key being fitted into his front door.

Stede broke into a grin that made his cheeks start to ache from how widely it stretched over his face as he heard the door open and a heavy thud that must have been Ed dropping his bags to the floor.

Footsteps sounded and Stede was halfway to charging out of the kitchen to meet Ed when the door swung open.

And there he was.

Stede suspected Ed had lied about sleeping on the plane because he looked exhausted (although Stede doubted he looked much better after his own restless night), but those sleepy brown eyes widened at the sight of him. In his excitement that Ed was here, Stede had forgotten how he currently looked and now he turned bashful, smoothing out invisible wrinkles on his apron just for something to do with his hands.

This had been Ed’s suggestion, but now Stede was acutely aware that his boyfriend wasn’t saying anything and he questioned if it really had just been a joke and Stede had unintentionally made himself the punchline.

Stede wanted to look at the floor, but instead he watched Ed’s gaze travel slowly over him. Ed started with his face and swept down over his shoulders, his stomach (thankfully concealed by the apron), his calves, right down to his feet. Stede felt like he was under inspection and remained still, not even wanting to breathe too heavily in case it distracted Ed from his assessment. 

Then Ed’s eyes swept back up and made contact with Stede’s own, and it was only then that he understood Ed’s expression. 

“Oh my god.” Ed spoke at last, and his voice licked along Stede’s skin like fire. It was both husky and honeyed and filled with all the longing that mirrored how Stede felt. “Come here.”

There was no force in the world that could have held Stede back.

He lunged for Ed, only saved from tripping over his own feet by Ed catching him around the waist and pulling him in close. Ok, so apparently clumsiness and gravity were both forces with potential to hold Stede back, but it didn't matter. He was in Ed’s arms, crushed against Ed’s chest, and nothing else mattered.

They just held each other for a moment, too overcome with their reunion to do anything but just grip on tightly and hope that this was reality. They had only been apart for a couple of days, it was embarrassing really, but if Ed didn’t care about being clingy then neither did Stede.

And then Ed’s hands were sliding up his back and twisting through his curls and the gentle, simmering warmth between them turned into blazing fire. Stede couldn’t have said who moved first, just that their mouths collided, hot and burning and desperate. Stede could still count the number of times he and Ed had kissed, and if he had his way then there would ultimately be so many occurrences that Stede would lose track entirely.

Ed’s knees knocked against his as he started to back Stede further into the kitchen, and for a brief moment Stede worried that Ed might be in pain with his knee from the flight, but it was difficult to ask the question when Ed’s kisses stole any words from his mouth.

He felt cold metal pressing against his back, and the chill on his bare backside was enough to make him yelp in shock. Ed pulled back with an inquisitive look and Stede giggled. “The fridge. It’s cold.”

Ed’s eyes darkened as his hands slipped from Stede’s head and down his back. “Yeah? I can warm you up.” Strong, calloused hands suddenly grabbed his backside and Stede gasped. Ed’s hands were certainly warmer than the cold metal of the fridge that had pressed against him moments ago. Ed chuckled and dropped his head to Stede’s shoulder to kiss and suck at his skin while his hands squeezed and massaged the flesh of Stede’s arse like he was kneading bread dough. “I can’t believe you actually did this.”

“You asked me to.” Stede sighed happily and angled his neck so Ed could trail kisses there too.

Ed’s laugh reverberated over Stede’s skin. “And if I’d asked you to wrap yourself up in a bow and lie naked by your front door until I got here, you’d have done that as well, would you?”

“Yes.” Stede said simply, but perhaps it was the wrong answer to give because Ed stopped kissing him.

Their eyes met at the same time and Ed looked a strange combination of concerned and aroused. “They’re just ideas, Stede. You don’t have to do anything just because I ask you to.”

“I know I don’t.” Stede said. “And I admit, the apron thing is a bit out of my comfort zone but that’s why I decided to do it. I want to push myself, I want to try new things, I want–” He hesitated, not sure if he should admit the next thing on his mind, but Ed’s face was soft and smiling and Stede didn’t want to keep things from him. “I want to try and see myself the way I think you see me.”

Ed planted a tender and chaste kiss on Stede’s forehead. “And how do I see you?”

Stede blushed. “You know what I mean.”

“I do, but I want to hear you say it because I don’t think you’ll start believing it until you do.” Ed cocked his head, still smiling. 

Stede flushed an even deeper shade of red, but opted to try his best. “I think you see me as someone attractive?” He began, and Ed nodded. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Agreed, but these should be statements, not questions.”

It was difficult to keep the upwards inflection out of his tone. “You think I’m funny. You think I’m interesting. You think I’m exciting.”

Stede bit his lip nervously and couldn’t continue and Ed kissed the tip of his nose. “All true, and plenty more that I can think of but we’ll leave it there. You made a great start, Stede, I’m proud of you.”

He tried not to squirm happily at the praise, instead he just tilted his chin up in the hopes of another kiss. But just as Ed was starting to lean in, a loud rumble caught their attention and they both dissolved into laughter at Ed’s stomach making its presence known. “Breakfast time, I think.” Stede giggled and patted Ed’s shoulder to get him to release his hold and take a step back.

As he walked back over to the stove to finish the pancakes, he heard a loud groan from behind him and looked back over his shoulder. Ed was staring. “How the fuck am I supposed to concentrate on eating with that cute little arse of yours on display?”

Ed’s stomach rumbled loudly again and Stede turned his attention back to his cooking with a laugh. “I think you’ll manage.”

He had just poured the batter into the pan when he felt a presence looming behind him and then Ed’s hand slapped his ass. Not with enough force to hurt, but definitely enough to get his attention. Stede smirked. “You shouldn’t distract me when I’m making you breakfast.”

“I’m just wondering if I can get these cheeks as pink as your face when you blush.” Ed remarked, and Stede’s face heated in response. “Yep, just like that.”

Ed’s flat palm remained resting on his ass and Stede found it difficult to concentrate. His normally perfectly round pancakes were turning into a misshapen blob in the pan and Stede huffed. “You’ll ruin your breakfast if you carry on.”

Ed’s hand ran over the curve of Stede’s backside. “I can live with that. Unless you want me to stop?”

Stede was feeling far more devious than usual now he had Ed back and he rocked back against Ed’s palm, delighting in the surprised little expulsion of air he felt on his neck from Ed’s sudden gasp. “Actually, I want it harder than that.”

While Ed was stunned into silence, Stede flipped a pancake. It was misshapen, but a perfect golden brown, and he tipped it onto the waiting plate on the counter. “You should eat first though, darling. Your food will get cold.”

Ed waited until Stede had poured more batter into the pan to create the next pancake before slapping his ass again, this time with enough force to make Stede jolt and suck in a breath through his teeth. Ed’s palm stroked over the sting and once he’d had a moment to recover, Stede pretended to be nonchalant about it. “Hmm, thought I felt something. Probably just a bee sting.”

“Fuckin’ bee sting.” Stede felt Ed’s beard tickling the back of his neck as Ed leaned in closer. “I could turn your arse cherry-red and make it so you’re not able to sit down without thinking about me.”

A thrill ran up Stede’s spine at the threat. Then again, not much of a threat if he wanted it. “I’m not stopping you.”

Ed paused and Stede felt his head shift to look over Stede’s shoulder. “How long will it take to finish making breakfast?”

Stede turned the pancake onto the plate and poured batter in to start another. “Depends on how hungry you are.”

“Ravenous.” Ed said, and Stede sensed he wasn’t talking about food. “Let’s say one more of those for me and then however many you want. How long?”

Stede shrugged. “Five minutes, give or take?”

“Right then,” Ed’s hand roamed over Stede’s ass again and landed another sharp slap that made him yelp. “Let’s see how red I can get your arse by the time you’ve finished making breakfast.”

Was there a way of nodding one’s head so vigorously without looking like a bobblehead figurine? Stede should have been embarrassed by how eager he was, but he was just thrilled at the thought of what was to come. And trying to cook at the same time would be an extra challenge, even if it was just pancakes, which were hardly difficult.

Ed at least had the courtesy not to spank him when he was pouring batter or flipping a completed pancake onto a plate, just for the mess it might cause, but everything in between was fair game.

Stede braced himself for the slap on his right cheek where Ed’s hand was lovingly caressing his (surely pink by now) skin, but the next contact he felt was Ed’s hand spanking him hard on the left cheek, which had been woefully ignored thus far. Stede jolted and braced one hand on the counter for support. It was taking so much concentrated effort to keep cooking and not just bend over to let Ed treat him as he liked.

Another slap landed on his ass, in the exact same spot that Ed had already hit and it made him yelp at the sting of the strike. Ed caressed the spot he’d just spanked, stroking tenderly over Stede’s bare flesh and he realised that Ed was waiting for him to use their safe word since he’d cried out. He had no intention of doing so. Instead, he wriggled his hips in encouragement as he turned another pancake out onto a plate and began making a new one. The food would be fucking ice cold by the time he was done, but Stede doubted either one of them cared.

Ed built up a steady rhythm as Stede cooked, alternating between which ass cheek he landed a blow on. The intensity varied as well - sometimes it was light and nothing more than a little stinging tap against his backside, other times Ed spanked his ass hard enough that the sound of the slap echoed throughout the kitchen and was swiftly followed by Stede crying out. It was never painful enough that he wanted it to stop, but after every loud cry, Ed rubbed at the spot he had just struck to soothe and give Stede a chance to use their safe word before he attempted another slap.

By the time Stede had their breakfast dished out onto two plates, his backside was sore and stinging and he fucking loved it. It was like he could still feel every swat of Ed’s palm against his skin as they carried their plates over to the kitchen island. He couldn’t see the state Ed had left him in, but he could certainly feel it and Stede imagined his ass was as red as a rose and littered with Ed’s handprints.

Ed sat down first, but rather than tuck in to his (now cold) breakfast, he propped an elbow onto the countertop and rested his chin on his hand. He watched Stede with an amused smirk as he hovered, and then eventually took a careful seat on the stool next to him. Even though he was gentle with it, Stede did wince slightly as he sat and Ed laughed. “Told you so.” Ed leaned in to press a kiss to Stede’s bare shoulder. “I wasn’t too rough on you, was I?”

Stede added getting spanked by his boyfriend to his mental list of approved activities. “I enjoyed it. Perhaps I’ll repay the favour for you one day.” He started cutting his pancakes into bite-sized pieces. “If you’d be interested, that is.” Ed didn’t answer straight away and Stede risked a glance over to see that his boyfriend was staring at him in apparent shock. “What?”

Ed shook his head, as if he needed to shake loose his disbelief. “Just can’t believe you’re fucking real sometimes.” And before Stede could question if he meant that in a good or a bad way, Ed leaned in to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

Stede felt a little kiss-drunk when they parted and he very nearly blurted out something he knew would be too much, too soon and he’d immediately regret it, but he bit his tongue when he realised he’s forgotten a key part of their morning routine. “Damn! I forgot to make the coffee.”

As he went to stand up, Ed shoved him down by his shoulders. “I’ve got it, angel, don’t worry.”

Stede’s head was still swirling from the pet name as Ed got up and started pottering around the kitchen to make the coffees. Everything was laid out already, it was just a matter of getting the water boiling and poured over the coffee he’d ground directly from the beans that morning. “You know they have fancy-ass machines that do all this for you now.” Ed remarked as he spied the manual coffee grinder Stede had left in his sink to be washed later. “Just a flick of a switch.”

“I know, but they’re so expensive.” Stede lamented. “I have the means, but it just seems like an awful lot of money to spend on something so frivolous when I can make it myself.”

“It’s not frivolous if you enjoy it.” Ed grinned and rested his hip against the counter as he waited for the water to boil.

“My father would disagree.” Stede laughed, but Ed didn’t. Ed remained silent. It would have been nerve-wracking were it not for those gentle brown eyes encouraging him to elaborate but not demanding it. “I wasn’t so careful with money a few years ago, you see. My father gave me a top job at his company so my salary was excellent, but I felt so out of my depth and lonely that I just turned to shopping to make myself feel better.”

Ed didn’t interrupt to voice his own opinion on that, just nodded, and Stede kept going.

“It became a bit of a problem. What started as buying a little treat for myself to feel better evolved into me spending more and more on lavish and frivolous things just because I wanted them.” He saw the worried crease on Ed’s brow and quickly intervened. “Oh, don’t get me wrong! It never got so bad that I spiralled into debt or struggled with money, but it certainly wasn’t appropriate behaviour.”

Those had been his father’s exact words when he’d dragged Stede to one side at a family dinner to chastise him for the floral velvet embroidered blazer he was wearing, and then had learned how much it had cost.

“My father worked himself up from nothing, you see.” Stede explained, the familiar speech that he’d been given since childhood easy to recite now. “One day everything he has will fall to me. Not because I’ve earned it, but because I lucked into it by being his only child. Once he saw how I was spending my money, he said I was irresponsible and foolish and if I didn’t tone it down then I would be out of a job, son or no son.” 

Stede shrugged. “It’s been easier since the divorce. My father has never visited me once since I’ve lived here, so it’s been easier to hide things from him. As long as I only wear my plain suits to the office and the unfortunate times when I do have to see my father socially, he doesn’t comment on it. Still, I suppose his words clung to me enough that I think twice before buying something expensive for myself now.”

The water had boiled and Ed turned his attention to making their coffees. Stede had caught the contemplative look upon his face and wondered if it bordered on pity. But he had potentially soured the mood by bringing up his father, and he didn’t want to make it worse. He tucked into his cold pancakes while Ed spooned the correct and ludicrous amounts of milk and sugar into his and Ed’s cups and then brought them over.

They ate together in quiet companionship, and it was like Ed had a sixth sense for whenever Stede was beginning to worry that he’d ruined the mood, because every now and then Ed would rest his hand on Stede’s knee or press a kiss to his cheek or stroke a wayward curl back from his forehead. Ed told Stede everything with such simple gestures.

I see you, I like you, I’m not going anywhere.

Stede finished his breakfast and coffee first, which was unusual for them. Ed had cleared his plate but was still sipping his coffee, watching Stede as he bustled around the kitchen and began the process of cleaning up.

“Can I ask you something?”

Stede was at the sink with his back to Ed when he heard the question, trying to scrub a particularly stubborn piece of batter from the pan. “Yes?”

“You’re not very sexually experienced.”

That wasn’t a question, but Stede bit his tongue and let Ed continue.

“Yet you’re so… I suppose adventurous is the best word? Or maybe curious? Like when you gave your first blowjob and asked me to come on your face, then you wanted to try sixty nineing, then you asked to eat me out. Not complaining about any of that, just to be clear.”

Stede was glad for that clarification, he’d been starting to wonder if Ed thought he was depraved.

“I think because you were so worried and nervous about your lack of experience, I just expected you to want to go slower and to build up to things like that, but you surprised me with just how ready and willing you are to try stuff. It’s like you’ve only just dipped your toes in the pool but you’re ready to jump into the deep end.”

Stede had managed to get the stubborn piece of batter off and set the pan on the draining board. “You said you had a question?”

“I suppose my question is… why?”

This would be easier to answer if he didn’t have to look at Ed, and Stede busied himself with the remainder of the dishes in the sink. “I’ve asked myself the same thing. That whole period of life where most people are out exploring and figuring out who they are, I spent just… doing what I was told.” Going to the college he was told to attend, marrying the girl he was told to want, taking the job that had been picked out for him.

“Finally coming out was the best thing I ever did, but also the most terrifying. Suddenly I was part of a world that I had no experience of, and it felt like I was too old to be a complete novice.” In the beginning, Stede had felt ostracised in a community he’d finally hoped to fit into. “It’s why the thought of kissing another man scared me so much, because I was convinced I’d get it wrong and be a laughing stock. But then after we kissed for the first time… everything just fell into place.”

He thought back on it now. The chill in the air, the way that late night breeze had nipped at his skin but Ed had been so warm. How Ed hadn’t hurried or pressured him and how easy it had been to just sink into that kiss, to really take his time and feel all of it. The fizzing in his stomach and the sparks in his veins and every cell of his body crying out that this was it, this was what it was supposed to feel like.

“It was so perfect, everything I’d ever dreamed it could be. Suddenly I started thinking about all the things I hadn’t done, all the experiences I’d missed out on. I wanted to try everything. Of course I was still nervous, which is why I didn’t act on those impulses straight away. I suppose I could have done, if I’d gone out on Grindr dates with other people, but that didn’t feel like what I wanted.”

Grindr would have been ideal for the exploration he wanted. It was somewhere he could be upfront with what he wanted to try and the people interested would let him know, and there would be no awkward preamble, no wondering how the other person felt - they would both know what they were there for, get on with it, then go their separate ways. Satisfying but impersonal.

It wasn’t what Stede had wanted. He was anxious enough as it was, so exploring a side of himself he’d never considered before wasn’t something he felt comfortable doing with a stranger. It had to be with someone he trusted.

“And then I realised it was because of you. Everything I wanted to try, to experience for the first time, it was only ever you that I pictured. And I don’t just mean the sexual experiences either. I’m talking about romantic dates and quiet domestic moments and– god, I was so absolutely gone on you, I wanted everything. Still do.”

It was madness really, how fast he’d managed to fall. He had quite literally fallen for Ed the first time he’d seen him.

“But I kept getting in my own head, talking myself in and out of stuff and giving you every mixed signal in the world - which I feel like a real bastard for doing, by the way - and then ultimately I realised that I just needed to fucking talk to you.” All the miscommunication, all the issues, all because Stede didn’t have the guts to just lay his cards on the table and ask for what he wanted. He didn’t feel like he deserved to get it, but clearly Ed disagreed as he was still here.

“You were there for the rest. And I can’t say that I don’t still get nervous, you know that I do, but I feel I can be more open with you than anyone else and you’re never going to laugh at me or judge me for it.”

It was why Ed was so perfect. The best friend, the best lover, the best listener. Just someone he could really be himself with, and know that it was enough for him. As much as Stede dearly loved his friends and family (perhaps not including his father in that family roundup), he knew he could be too much for them at times. For Ed, he wasn’t too much. For Ed, he always felt like enough.

Dishes stacked on the side to drain, Stede finally turned around with a sheepish smile after dumping so much information on Ed, who was probably unsuspecting of it. “I suppose that’s a very long-winded way of saying that I’m trying to make up for lost time and I was waiting for the right person.”

Ed was holding his cup between his hands and his brown eyes were filled with some emotion that Stede couldn’t name as he stared at him. He saw Ed’s throat bob as he swallowed, and then Ed was looking down at the counter, suddenly unable to meet Stede’s gaze.

Stede was curious, but not panicked (yet), and he came back to the kitchen island to sit next to his boyfriend. He prised one of Ed’s hands from his tight grip on his cup to hold it. Ed only met his eyes again when Stede kissed the back of his hand. “Something’s on your mind.”

Ed smiled, but it was small and didn’t meet his eyes, and was gone in moments. “Just got me thinking, that's all.”

“About what?” Stede kissed his hand again. “Tell me.”

Ed sighed deeply. “You want to make up for lost time. I get that and I’m more than happy to help. Believe me, I have very much enjoyed everything so far, so don’t think I’m an unwilling participant because I promise I’m into it.”

He stopped and Stede ran his thumb over the back of Ed’s hand. “But?” He prompted.

“But I’m worried that there are things I want for us that you’ll find…” Ed’s voice dropped and Stede had to strain to hear the next whispered word. “Boring.”

Stede was flabbergasted.

Boring? In what world would he ever find Ed boring?

He must have said as much without realising because Ed smiled again, although it was still not his usual grin. “Because I’ve done the wild stuff, and while there’s a lot of it that I enjoy and I enjoy it even more because it’s with you now, there’s… there’s stuff I want to try that I’ve never done and I’m worried you won’t think it’s exciting.”

“I would never.” Stede squeezed Ed’s hand. “What is it, my darling? Tell me what you want.”

“Well, besides the mundane things like just watching a movie together or doing chores together…” Stede was a little surprised that Ed actually wanted to do chores, but it made sense when he remembered Ed had never really had a committed relationship and all the so-called ‘boring’ stuff that came with it. “I– I want you to fuck me. But I want it slow. I want you to be gentle, I want to feel–”

“Cherished?” Stede suggested and Ed bit his lip as he nodded. Stede lifted a hand to Ed’s cheek and let his thumb stroke softly and reassuringly against it as Ed leaned into the touch. “Darling, I would never find that boring. All I want is to treasure you. You deserve to feel adored and I would love to be the one to do that for you.”

Ed’s head turned to press a kiss to Stede’s palm, and when he looked back, his eyes were lit up. “Really?”

“Everything with you is exciting, and I said I wanted it all. You’re going to tell me exactly what you want and I am going to do my absolute best to provide it for you.” Stede leaned forwards so that their foreheads rested against one another. They stayed that way for a moment, sharing deep, calming breaths, before Stede spoke. “Let’s go upstairs.”

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[edactually]

Texts between Stede & Ed

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Stede POV - 11.6

Sleep did not come easy on Thursday night.

Stede had never really been much for social media (his private twitter account for his thoughts not counting, in his opinion, since no one else saw the posts), but he found himself scrolling endlessly on Thursday evening, scouring for photos and videos from QAR’s show that night.

Ed was in his element, he always was. Stede managed to find a video someone had posted that looked like it had been recorded from almost exactly the same position he had been standing in when he’d first seen Ed. It was filmed from right beneath the stage, with Ed looming over, although Stede noticed he didn’t make eye contact with anyone in the crowd that he could tell. It was the opening number of the show, the one that had made Stede faint when Ed had sung it directly to him, but now he belted the lyrics out to the crowd in general, not focusing on any one particular person.

Stede could hear whoops and hollering from the crowd on the footage, and more than one person screaming for Blackbeard to fuck them.

Tough luck, he thought, feeling rather smug. He’s all mine.

He managed to doze off for a couple of hours, but it was the best he could do. He was bubbling with excitement knowing that the countdown to Ed’s arrival was growing smaller and smaller with each passing moment. Sleep felt pointless.

Instead, Stede busied himself tidying the house even though it was already spotless. He put fresh sheets on the bed (his best ones, the navy blue jacquard sheets), checked his fridge and kitchen cupboards for the eighth time to make sure he had all the ingredients to make a sumptuous breakfast, and set out all the dishes and cookware he’d need. He’d washed Ed’s favourite cup twice already.

This was for Ed. Everything had to be perfect.

Stede had already been up for hours when his phone finally buzzed.

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Stede's Bedside Table

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Stede POV - 11.5

Stede left the photoshoot feeling far more confident than he ever had before.

It had been a completely professional environment, and Stede hadn’t been pressured once to go further than he was comfortable with. Although his photographer had made suggestions, the choice whether to go through with them or not had always been down to him. There had been a couple of ideas that he’d vetoed, and they’d been brushed aside in favour of a different suggestion without any complaint.

Stede had actually ended up surprising himself with what he’d been willing to do. At the end of the shoot, his photographer had asked if he wanted to take a look at the photos then and there and Stede, still high on the adrenaline of it all, had agreed. When asked which photos he wanted copies of, Stede had chosen all of them. It was much more expensive than if he’d just selected one or two like most people, and there was the added cost of getting them all compiled into a luxury photo album, but he was feeling giddy and excitable.

The book would be ready for him to pick up the following afternoon, which was perfect with Ed arriving the day after.

Stede only checked his phone when he was back in his car and saw that he had a couple of missed calls from Ed, so he immediately called back. Ed answered on the third ring. “Hey!”

“Hello sunshine,” Stede sank back against the smooth leather of the driver’s seat, toying with his car keys in one hand as he held the phone to his ear with the other. “Sorry I missed you, but it was for a good reason.”

“Yeah?”

“Might have been preparing a present for you.” Stede smiled as he imagined Ed’s gleeful face at the other end of the line. He knew how much Ed loved presents, no matter how big or small.

He could hear the excitement in his voice. “What present?”

“You’ll have to wait until Friday.” 

Ed’s long, drawn-out whine made him laugh. “That’s ages away!”

“Darling, it’s the day after tomorrow.”

“It feels like forever.”

Stede knew how much Ed hated waking up early, and this would be right after a show where he’d only be getting to bed late. He’d have time for maybe one or two hours of sleep before he had to leave for the airport, all so he could get here as soon as possible. Just to see Stede. “Make sure you eat something before your flight.”

“Aw, you don’t want to make me breakfast?”

Stede giggled. He would happily make Ed an entire breakfast buffet if that was what he wanted, he just needed to be sure Ed had eaten because he knew how grumpy he got if he didn’t. “I’ll have it ready and waiting for when you arrive.”

“You’re so good to me, baby. You know what would make it even better?”

“What’s that?”

“You wearing nothing but an apron when I get there.”

Stede nearly dropped his phone. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” Ed’s voice was a husky purr. “I want to let myself in with the spare key and walk into your kitchen to see you flipping pancakes wearing nothing but an apron with that cute little arse of yours peeking out.”

Stede knew he could say no and Ed would let the subject drop. Ed would never make him do something he was uncomfortable with for his own enjoyment, but Stede had to admit that the picture Ed was painting for him was very enticing. Maybe it was because he was still riding the confidence boost from his photoshoot. “You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you?”

Ed groaned, long and loud and it reverberated through his phone speaker. “I hate waiting.”

Stede was about to respond with some soothing words to placate his boyfriend’s impatience, when Ed spoke again.

“You’re worth it though.”

Stede clutched the phone tighter in his hand. “What?”

“You were worth the wait, Stede.” Ed said. “Every second.”

Now he didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he could say without giving away that tears were starting to leak from his eyes. He swallowed, trying to regain some composure and failing miserably. “I miss you. Hurry back to me.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I promise.”

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Texts from Ed to Stede

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Stede POV - 11.4

This was the most insane thing Stede had ever done.

He’d been a couple of glasses of wine deep when he’d seen the ad in his search results the previous night. Thoughts of Ed and that initial sultry photo he’d sent him swirled through his mind and all Stede could think about (besides how desperate he was to have his boyfriend back home) was how he could reciprocate.

The ad in his search results had seemed like fate, and there was a discount running for thirty percent off, so Stede had booked a session before he could think better of it.

It had seemed like the kind of wild and impulsive thing one might do for their partner, but standing outside the studio in the rain after a long day of work, Stede was starting to reconsider.

He had spent the entirety of his first day back holed up in his office, with Lucius acting as his security guard, of sorts. Funny how no one could be bothered with Stede normally, but when there was a rumour going around that he was dating a celebrity, suddenly everyone wanted to visit his office, and some of the excuses were laughable. Lucius had kept him up to date throughout the day of who insisted upon important meetings or paperwork Stede had to sign in person, all as an excuse to get into his office and press him for information about Blackbeard.

Given that Lucius was prone to gossip, Stede was pleased that his assistant didn’t give in to it, and kept all of the sniffing dogs at bay, telling them that Stede was far too busy and was not to be disturbed as he caught up on work. When people did insist upon prying, like they did at the debrief that Stede had to attend, he stuck to his excuse that he had run into Blackbeard who remembered him from the fainting incident and invited him to a Halloween party when he heard Stede had no plans for the holiday. The loaning of the Blackbeard outfit was simply because Stede didn’t have a costume. While he considered himself on friendly terms with Blackbeard, they had spent very little of the night together and it had been nothing more than a coincidental meeting. The rumours were just rumours, and Stede was not in touch with Blackbeard.

Some people clearly believed it, others didn’t, and some were on the fence, but Stede refused to elaborate further. The office was rife with gossip, something else would crop up soon to divert people’s attention.

The crew were harder to convince, and they had been battering Stede with constant messages for most of the day, until they had suddenly stopped just after lunch. He could only assume that Lucius had said something in their other group chat (that he was not a part of) that either persuaded them Stede was telling the truth or - more likely - that Lucius had other, better gossip to keep them entertained.

Now he was halfway between his car and the building after that exhausting day and feeling apprehensive. He could always turn back, but he surged forwards instead, deciding he could think about it inside the building and out of the rain.

Once he was inside and had closed his umbrella (after shaking the water off outside the door, he wasn’t an animal), he found that he was standing in a quiet waiting area where the receptionist behind the desk beamed at him.

“Hello!” The voice was bright and friendly and did alleviate his nerves a touch. “Do you have a booking?”

“Yes, er…” He took a step closer to the desk. “It should be under Stede Bonnet, for seven pm?”

There was the sound of a keyboard clacking and the receptionist was focusing on her computer screen. Stede took a moment to read the shiny gold name tag pinned to her smart blazer. “Ah yes, here you are, Mr. Bonnet. The last session finished right on time so you’re free to go through now if you like.”

“Now?” Stede clutched his hands together and felt the slick of his sweaty palms sliding against each other.

The receptionist (Kerry, as per her name tag) smiled in a way that said she’d seen it all before. “First time?”

Stede pressed his lips together tightly and nodded once.

“Everyone is nervous the first time, but this is a safe environment.” She smiled reassuringly. “Your photographer will put you at ease and offer suggestions, but there’s no pressure to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“And what if I’m not comfortable taking anything off?” Stede whispered.

“Then you’ll work with your photographer to find a compromise. You don’t have to be naked to take a good photo. If fully clothed is all you’re comfortable with, then that’s completely fine.”

The reassurance was needed and although Stede couldn’t say that his nerves were completely gone, he did feel brave enough to head through to the studio. He gave Kerry a small wave as he walked through the door and she offered a thumbs up in encouragement.

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