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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Hard truths: Fri(end)
Some people whom you once regard as friends, completely left you out. And you feel like an outcast. Thanks for letting me learn this.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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100k
"I’ve already achieved 100k" The smug and body language ain’t daunting but only pathetic….
"Grats!" I was really elated for someone whose efforts have paid off…. But why pathetic?
Sometimes, humans lost focus of what they really want and enjoy. They are too much involved in that numbers game. I don’t see the point of this at all. Coz it brings me to one point: Is your self worth equivalent to that number? Well isn’t that really pathetic? Like what I always believe and till today I have yet to change. Happiness is my ultimate goal. Am not saying everyone must have the same goal. However, at the very least, stop making your life so pathetic, simply revolving around all these numbers… You are worth more than these numbers.
"So I’m now back to 0…" Does that make you worthless? Know your worth and what you truly want in life. Don’t let those nasty lifeless numbers take over you. If foolishness is the only state I can be in, I would gladly embrace it coz I wanna be happy.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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My mind has had your name burnt into it like branded flesh. Like a fresh tattoo; every single time my thoughts run over it, it’s like: fingertips brushing against raised skin. It would be more accurate to say I can sense your name against every surface of my brain, at every nerve ending, rather than hearing it, or seeing it. Just there, at the back of my irises, on the underside of my tongue, against the tender veins of my wrists, just there everywhere, like both the unstoppable force and unmovable object, like the circulation of blood, I feel your name. When I wake up, I think about you; when I fall asleep, I think I’ll miss you. My mouth won’t shut up about you, and my hands won’t quit shaking to find yours in the groping darkness of everything and lace our fingers together, as if then I’ll be at ease again, as if then my heart will stop beating a litany of your name, name, name. I don’t know when this happened. We’ve known each other for so long, but I never even noticed. It wasn’t a shock to the senses, not like being hit by thunder or swallowed up by the ground, or any of that nonsensical love that inspired metaphors about natural disasters and quicksand. Just, one day I woke up and felt it everywhere, and I thought, “I love you.” I love you. It was that simple. So pitifully easy to realise that sometimes I think I should have told you the day I met you, the minute we locked eyes. “hello, I love you, would you tell me your name?” It’s terrifying to no end. It’s terrifying because you, the one I love, make me want to be everything I’m not. But I’m weak, and I always, always fail you, because you have always dreamed of someone who is better than I am. Because when you look at me with those eyes that I love, those eyes that make my breathing spike and my heart scream the letters of your name, you only see the person you’ve always wanted me to be, the person I’m not. Isn’t that fucked up? Every cell in my system won’t shut up about you and I don’t even know if you’ll ever look at me and see me properly, but there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I sit here and nurse this fucking third-degree burn of your name and your face and the memory of the time you kissed my mouth and the scars your lips left against my knuckles and that one time we were walking side by side and our hands met and embraced and the way you say my name in my ear and God, I read somewhere third-degree burns are the least painful because your nerve-endings are charred off and you go numb, but if it isn’t agony that I’m feeling I don’t know what is.
to everyone I’ve ever loved and nobody in particular. (via cloudatllas)
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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I’ve been wanting to contact you but I can’t figure out what to say because now it’s 1pm on September 1st and I’m spinning around in the pink lingerie you bought me for our anniversary and I’m spinning so fast, looking down, watching the pink ruffles twist and turn I’m so dizzy and I can’t stop laughing, waiting for my eyes to focus and when they do you’re not there so I keep spinning. I keep spinning. because now it’s night time in our small town and I’m up sitting crossed legged on my perfectly made bed and I’m tapping my thumbs on my thighs to the beat of all of the songs we used to sing. because now it’s me driving across that bridge to sit in my parent’s driveway the same way we did when we were 16, arms crossed in a bed of ants, laughing into the night at the same time as the singing crickets. because now it’s my birthday I make a wish and it’s you. I’ve been wanting to contact you but I can’t figure out what to say she said, “tell me. tell me what you think you’d say.” I laugh while pulling a lighter out of the pocket of my yellow sundress and whisper, I’d say: hey. it’s me and it’s always been you.
so I keep spinning and I keep spinning Whispering Bones, by Drew Hairgrove Purchase your copy here   (via whisperingbones)
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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www.fashionclue.net | Fashion Tumblr, Street Wear & Outfits
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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He snapped a photo. I was smiling. It's been a long time since we went to the nature. I was elated. The greenery took away worries momentarily. I was freed. I finally walk with that bounce.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Take your statement monochrome look for a ride.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Striped Blouse
via Choies
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Ziad Nakad Haute Couture S/S 2014.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Clouds
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, life gets brighter. Indeed, we can't be pleasers all the time. Well do what's right and don't change yourself just to fit in the crowd. I may not be the most popular person on earth, but I know I'm truthful to myself at least. The facades and pretentious smiles are too disgusting. When these clouds disappear, or when one begins to be less concerned with them, days do get much brighter and happier. If you are happy, your happiness will infect people around you too! So be happy:) infect those nasty dark clouds with a little happiness:)
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Growing up
As we get older and wiser, more and more complicated matters come in our way. I'm feeling such despondency on everything that has been happening ard me. I just wanted to be myself and be truthful and happy but life ain't that rosy. I thought success is a simple equation. We work hard, we sweat, we persist and that would mean, we will succeed soon? But when we did, it repeats again. I see no end to all of these. Apart from the difficulties we face daily, humans make things tougher. I mean I'm really very low key these days. I harder talk to people (except my customers of coz) and is something I'm surprised about. Yet, I'm probably still the most hated person. I've no idea what made them disliked me really. I hate growing up. I just wanna continue to study, draw and do Pilates. I mean well, these things made me really happy from within. I just wanna be happy. But why is things so tough, so complicated? I'm alone yet again in this shit.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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Behind the scene
People often only see the glitz and glamour. If end results were the only crux we focused on, what are processes? The journey to one's success ain't easy. It's the toughest yet least recognized one. How many can attest to the challenges in this grueling process and emerge strong at the end of the day? Nothing comes easy. We have to give it our best shot and slog alongside with ourselves, and maybe that's only with ourselves. So look beyond. The tears, the sweat, the endless nights, the loneliness of the glitz and glamour.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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I miss us. I miss the moments we share, the silly jokes which only we know, the food we love, the happy endorphins we get from working out tgt, and... Just us. I miss everything. Rationally, all these are silly. Emotionally, I hope I can less independent so that I can always have your shoulders when I need you. I miss u. I miss us.
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eileenatic-blog · 9 years
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People come and go. It's fate that bring two strangers to know each other, to become acquaintance, who got to be friends, and besties. However, time erodes these bonds between people. And sadly, we are once again strangers.
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