emotionalbpd

[emotionalbpd]

You don’t get to decide what I eat or what I put in my body. You shouldn’t make judgements about what I will or will not eat. You should ask me before you start preparing and cooking for me too. Stop with your assumptions already! Stop being toxic and negative towards me! It’s my body and i’ll do what I want with it and nourish it so how I choose.

[emotionalbpd]

Laughter

Today I choose to laugh!

Too often I take life too seriously. There wasn’t much laughter in my childhood. Misery is so comfortable that I sometimes create a crisis where there is none. Today I will focus on laughter. Perhaps I’ll rent a funny movie and invite a...

[emotionalbpd]

Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted. As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process information about that person. What we are striving for in recovery is a healthy attraction to people. We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or to what we hope they are. The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people we’re attracted to. Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships. The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of. The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect. This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight. Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn - no matter how long we are recovering. No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery. We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships. We can learn to go slowly. We can learn to pay attention. We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better. We can stop blaming our relationships on God, and being to take responsibility for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships, and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones. We can learn to look for what’s good for us, instead of what’s good for the other person.

from The Language of Letting Go (via suburbiaamericana)

[emotionalbpd]

from “Hippie Peace Freaks” on Facebook

[emotionalbpd]

It’s so easy when you’re in the thick of things to mistake constant distress for passion. After all, it’s exciting. It has that all-important Newness Factor, in which everything keeps changing and your partner’s intentions are a moving target to which you never feel perfectly entitled. While the placidity of a healthy relationship — the nights spent comfortably side by side, the errands run on Saturdays, the tedious decisions made as a team — can seem like emotional suicide to someone who is drawn to chaos, the constant mind games of someone who is terrible for you will always keep you on your toes. It gives you a charge, a feeling of precariousness, something to look forward to. And when you’re immature and physically attracted to the person, there is no more potent a recipe for desire.

But desire is not love. Lust is not love. Hell, in many cases, even passion is not love. These things are simply the sparklers which sizzle and pop and go out relatively quickly (if only to be found again at certain points in the relationship). But love is a much more stable thing, a thing of sacrifice and compromise and understanding that the person you have chosen is a real human being with needs and feelings and a daily routine that you must fit into.

[emotionalbpd]

We all desire to enjoy a good, peaceful life but sometimes life can be “too good” and we create needless drama in order to fill that void. This has its roots in childhood, specifically those living in households where chemical dependency or any kind of stringency was wrought throughout the family. It’s that “too good to be true” feeling when peace happens. Melody Beattie in “Codependent, No More” expounds upon this concept known as “excited misery.”

[emotionalbpd]

Excessive dependence on things or people outside oneself

Accepting responsibility for others’ feelings or actions

Constantly trying to please others

Letting others dominate or abuse you

Neglecting one’s own needs

Having difficulty knowing one’s own feelings and wishes

A weak sense of...

[emotionalbpd]

I had a talk with my inner child. I promised her that she could count on me. I let her know that she was wonderful, loveable and perfect just as she was. I told her I would protect her always, so she would never need to be afraid. I told her she could always trust me. I held her in a warm embrace and rocked her. I comforted her and she was at peace. She looked up to me with eyes filled with joy, and I knew she had believed every word I said. She was finally free to just be..... and so was I ......

[emotionalbpd]

I am going to my first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow.

I’m nervous.

I don’t recall precisely when my mum started drinking. She was a social drinker when I was kid, and there were a few ugly situations where I tried to rescue our family — at the age of 7. I was a peacemaker, I ran from conflict, I...

[emotionalbpd]

Here are some tips for setting healthy boundaries, modified from the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, by Anne Katherine:

When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, preferably without anger, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, apologize for, or...

[emotionalbpd]

Tell me all the reasons you love me So I can find myself in your eyes Don’t let me go home Can’t spend another night alone In the mirror of my soul. That’s just all I wanted How much is too much to ask for?

(via laurenalism)

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FANGIRL CHALLENGE • [08/08] Male Characters: Lucas Scott "Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied at barely getting by. But, that feeling is a lie and if you just hold on; just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find the way and make it all okay."

[emotionalbpd]

I can curl up on the couch. I can forget about studying for my finals this week. I can say fuck it and just take a mental health day because I desperately need it. I could let my urges take over. I could dwell on things that I can’t change, and swim in misery of those I could in theory, but in...

[emotionalbpd]

[emotionalbpd]

“Humor is a common defense mechanism. Some funny people like to make themselves and others laugh because it keeps them from crying. It distracts people from the real issues and pokes fun at things to minimize the impact. Albeit temporarily.”

So, why are the funniest people the most depressed?

[emotionalbpd]

[emotionalbpd]

Customer Service: It Gets Worse.

Oh. My. Gosh. If you haven’t seen this yet, watch it. So accurate it’s almost physically painful.