esteyam

[esteyam]

You're not flawed, darling, you're just a little under-rehearsed - The Amazing Devil - "Marbles"

[esteyam]

going from violently sobbing to the point of getting nauseous to doing your duolingo lesson is the true girlhood experience

[esteyam]

the day a man longs for me the way beast longs for bell in this song will be the day that i die

#beauty and the beast #musicals #hopeless romantic #now i know she'll never leave me #even as she fades from view

[esteyam]

You're dead serious. I'm alive silly. We're not the same

[esteyam]

the most common way to console a child with divorced parents is joking about having two christmases and birthdays every year. twice as many presents, right?

but who talks about having to buy twice as many flowers, because their parents don't rest in the same grave?

#divorced parents #tw death #depressed #crying every night

[esteyam]

[esteyam]

the most dreadful thing about my grandfather's death is that he's no longer here to protect his little girl from my father

#divorcing parents #grief #im sorry mom #emotionally unavailable father #feeling sad on a thursday afternoon

[esteyam]

this is like a monthly occurrence

literally going thru an identity crisis rn but at least my nails are cute

[esteyam]

tell me

i want to be told

i want to be told what to wear and what to judge

i want to be told what to be fascinated by and what to ignore

i want to be told what is right and what is wrong

i want to be told what to love and what to despise

i want to be told who to be and what to never become

#i dont know who i am #identity crisis #putting my thoughts out there #i seriously need a therapist #im tired

[esteyam]

oh to have love songs written about you by a lovestruck man in the 60's

definitely not talking about can't help falling in love by elvis presley

[esteyam]

literally going thru an identity crisis rn but at least my nails are cute

[esteyam]

numb

i listen to music and mimic the feelings they express,

trying to act out emotions that were never mine,

in hopes that my own heart someday would be able to mirror them and make my own self suffer from them,

and then,

maybe that would to convince me i'm alive.

#first post #my first english poem #trying to express my feelings #music #feeling numb #hope it makes sense