exquisitexagony

[exquisitexagony]

The gentle scratches are nice. He loves when she pets him, especially giving the scratches against his scalp. A warm smile meets his lips like a contented kitten. He hums softly, growing quiet and still as she speaks, eyelids softly shut. He swallows hard.

"Yeah..." he whispers in response to her suggestion. She was right, of course. He was in a bad spot. Everything at that time was bad--except for him. Settler had sort of been his lifeline...So when his parents stripped him away...When their fighting tore apart their relationship...He didn't know what to do with himself. Especially after having it drilled into him that loving him was wrong.

As she scoots closer, he looks up and pulls her down to lay with him again, gently wrapping his arms around her and tucking her against his chest. "Is this OK..?" He'd taken to asking that question a lot more ever since she'd admitted to him that she loved him as something more than a friend. He never wanted to make her uncomfortable.

Once they're settled, xe is quiet again, still staring at the stars. When she speaks up once more, xyr gaze drifts over to meet hers briefly. A sudden shyness, a smirk brushing xyr lips as their aqua-coloured hues trail away. A light shake of xyr head.

"No, I mean...I don't know, it's stupid. You'll laugh."

A soft smile when Sami leans into her touch. Her hands itch up xyr arm, scratching gently through xyr curls. The intricacies of her feelings for Sami had slowly begun to fade over the last few months, allowing her to simply exist as his friend. She was grateful for xyr openness, for the ways in which they both had been able to heal and grow together.

“I get it.” Her head tilts back to look up at the sky again, letting a quiet settle between them. “It’s a possibility but, I don’t know. I think it’s something worth thinking about. If he doesn’t respond, that just might be all the closure you need.” Her hand drops to the grass behind her for support as she leans back. “You were in a bad spot, Sami. You should give yourself grace for that.”

As the wind whips a little harder, she scoots closer. Her head falls to Sami’s shoulder and she exhales harshly, shivering. Perhaps she should have thought a little ahead and brought more than just one blanket for them to sit on.

“Do you want to tell me about your dream?” She nudges xem gently. “What happened in it?”

#gollldrush #internalized homophobia mild tw

[exquisitexagony]

Her begging falls on deaf ears, foot pressing down on the gas all the harder. They’re flying down the winding road, struggling to stay in one lane. When she yells, he flinches, grip twisting the wheel sharply again. A heaving breath, tears streaking down his face even as she tries to force some sense into him.

Your sister loves you. 

A flash of her face in his mind sends him reeling, choked sobs bubbling up past his throat. The blood on her neck, her mouth…His mother—who she looked so much like—bleeding on the floor.

You’re still my golden boy.

Panic, xyr mind far from the present moment. The flashbacks are making it hard to focus on the road and xe starts to drift to the other lane. As a semi comes riding the opposite direction, they lay on the horn, snapping Arthur back to the present. Xyr breath catches, quickly snapping the wheel out of the way of the truck only to lose control in an instant. They’re swerving down the road, screams ripping through the truck as Arthur takes xyr foot off the pedal. 

A rough bang against the driver’s side, the mirror there instantly bending, cracking, falling off in the road. The airbags go off as the door bends inward, the truck rolling to a halt only as the metal drags against the rail lining the side of the road…

Finally, they’ve stopped. Arthur slumped over the seat, knocked out from the force of the airbag and the startle of the wreck. Blood drips slowly down xyr temple…

When Leo finally gets in the car, Arthur's sat back in his seat, finishing off the blunt. He reaches over to roll down the windows a little further, keep the truck aired out. A flick of ash against the dashboard. He doesn't turn to look at her, even as she apologises.

Cyan eyes stay pinned out the window, hand trembling slightly as he plucks the joint from his mouth again. Brows knit together, her question feeling like a slap in the face.

"EASILY?!"

The word bursts past his lips before he can have a chance to stop it. Suddenly, he's shifting in his seat to face her, anger lighting back up in his chest.

"You think what I did was easy?!" They can't help that their voice raises. "Leo, that was--" A roll of their eyes, turning away again. A slight scoff. "It took everything in me not to just stay, Leo. I didn't want to fucking leave you, but your mom and I--" He cuts himself off, not wanting to drag Edie into this. A huff of a sigh through their teeth, starting up the truck. They put their joint out on the dash as they shifted the truck into reverse.

"I don't hate it!" Xe snaps again. Fingertips press to the bridge of his nose, closing xyr eyes for a moment. A deep breath before xe manages to actually put xyr attention on backing out of the drive. Silence, lips pursing as xe turns to look out the back window. A huff of a sigh once they're out of Edie's driveway and headed safely down the road. Should he be driving when he was high? Probably not. But he didn't really want to think ab out that right now.

"It's not that I hate that you love me, Leo. It's that I can't--" He swallows hard, chewing the inside of his lip. "You said it yourself!" A hand tossed in the air, hitting the edge of the steering wheel.

"I'm not--" His voice trembles slightly, catching in their throat. A pause. A swallow. "Nobody can love me. I'm a bad person, Leo! I'm bad! You should find someone better than this to love..." Tears trickle down their cheeks, teeth clenching angrily, their gaze pinned to the road, but their driving unsteady at best. They wipe frantically at their eyes to clear their gaze, the vehicle speeding much faster than the limit sign they pass.

"You can't love me, Leo. No one can. No one can!" They shake their head. "I'm not smart, I'm selfish, I'm a criminal, I fucking eat people, Leo!! I'm a wreck, I'm poor, I'm homeless..!! I killed my own goddamned family!" A desperate gasp for air, his tears coming in heavier sobs now. He swerves slightly on the road, frantic, losing control.

"You said it, Leo. I hate myself! I'm unloveable! You are the only person who has ever claimed to love me, so how can I-- how can I believe that?! How?!"

#gollldrush #v; flesheater #mobile replh

[exquisitexagony]

The chill night air makes Sami shiver slightly, but their wrapped up in a hoodie, the hood pulled over their head and draw strings tugged tight enough to trap in heat. It’s a beautiful night—theoretically

not too hot and not too cold. He was just a bit sensitive to the breeze. Still, he looked so content laying there counting the glittering dots in the sky. His mind wandered easily, though, and he couldn’t help but bring it to conversation.

“Yeah,” he hummed in reply when she asked for clarification. He cleared his throat slightly, hands shoved deep into the pocket of his hoodie, picking around his nail beds.

They look up as she sits up, watching her lips move, looking up into her eyes. They purse their lips slightly and give a shrug at her words of assurance. Silence at her point. They didn’t like to think on it too much. 

The touch from Leo is nice, soothing, and xe rests xyr head against her hand after a moment. Xe couldn’t help but think of the people xe missed most when xe stared up at the night sky. They all looked out at the same stars, after all. No matter how far apart. A light sniffle, trying to ignore the slight tension welling in xyr chest. Xe blinks at her question, then shakes xyr head.

“I don’t know…” He swallows hard, picking roughly at his nails beneath the pocket of his hoodie. “Feels like…I dunno, impossible?” Eyes squint slightly up at the stars. “I- I’m not even sure where I’d start and…” He swallows. “I don’t…You know, like…What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? I- I feel like that would be…Worse.”

@exquisitexagony sent: "I still dream of him."sam & leo.

There’s a blanket stretched out on top of the hill, Leo’s laying across it – her eyes pinned to the sky, counting the stars in between conversations. They’d both needed a chance to get out of the city and just think. She’s lost in her own mind until Sami pulls her back with his confession.

“You mean Settler?” She sits up on her elbows, narrowing her gaze at xem. The little lanterns she’d bought from Walmart were doing a shitty job of giving off adequate light. “I’d be more surprised if you didn’t.” Sitting up fully, she crosses her legs and combs her fingers through her hair. “He was your first love, Sami.”

Her hand places on xyr arm, gently rubbing it in reassurance. She understood it all too well, even if their relationships had been vastly different. Leo dreamt of Eric; the good, the bad, sometimes something as simple as just seeing him in a store. It was confusing, brutal – left her with the feeling of a hangover when she’d wake from them.

“Have you ever considered reaching out to him? … Even if it’s just to get a sense of closure?”

#gollldrush

[exquisitexagony]

A soft huff of breath when she speaks, shrugging off the sentiment about xyr parents. She was right, of course. What they had done to xem was wrong, way beyond just not calling xem. It was still hard to believe, though, that xe wasn't the one who was wrong. That xyr desires weren't corrupted. Unlearning that mindset had been a long and hard road that Sam was still venturing down to this day. A nod when she validates xyr emotions, noting the slight tears in her eyes. Xe swallows.

"Thank you..." The words come out soft, a tight-lipped smile paired with them. Xe wasn't looking for pity. Or even comfort over what had happened. Xe just wanted her to know she wasn't alone. Xyr head tilted to one side slightly as she explained a little further, her good memories of her father. Xe couldn't help but smile a little at the memories she shared, finding xyr own positive memories of xyr parents to be a sort of guiding light in the darkest times. At least xe could know that what xyr parents did--no matter how awful--they did because they were concerned for xem. They thought it was the right thing to do. It didn't make it anymore OK, but it certainly made it easier to let go of that pain and anger.

A low hum in response to her question, giving himself time to mull it over. Finally, a breath, lips parting to speak as he looks at her through sad eyes.

"I don't...know if I have the answer to that," he admits softly. "But I don't think holding onto those good memories is such a bad thing." He licks his lips, looks up in thought. "They offer reprieve in the face of the now. Make it easier to love him at his worst, even if it's from a distance." He bites his lip, thinking back on his own parents...How he still loved them, despite everything, all the pain they'd caused...The unforgivable actions that had his mind so twisted up.

"My therapist always likes to point out to me that boundaries are part of the healing process with things like that..." Eyes meet Aurora's again, soft and caring. A faint smile. "Maybe that's what you need right now. A- and realizing it doesn't have to be forever, but...Giving yourself time to heal."

Aurora sat frozen as xyr words washed over her. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest as her own grief started to give way for Sam’s. It sucked that they had such a cruel thing in common with one another. She wouldn’t wish a father like hers on anyone, let alone a person as good as Sam.

The blonde shifted her gaze when she felt Sam’s movement, wanting to look him in the eyes as he attempted to connect with her. There was no rule that said Sam had to share any of this with her. Xe didn’t even need to waste breath comforting her and yet this conversation was happening. She was touched, well and truly.

Out of respect Aurora sat quietly until it was clear Sam was done speaking. She then reached for his hands and held them gently in her own, a thumb rubbing at his skin. “Your parents suck real bad for not calling you, Sam. It doesn’t matter if it happened yesterday or ten years ago, that pain is real and yours and there’s no time limit on that.” She paused, needing a moment to blink back tears before continuing. “I have memories from when I was a little girl and things were different. He used to light up when he came home to us, he was present, you know? But he hasn’t been that man in so many years and holding out hope for things to go back there hurts too much. Do you have any advice on how to let it all go?”

#ghostsxagain #thats ok!! #family trauma mild tw

[exquisitexagony]

A soft hum as Flynn curls up next to him. He easily slips an arm around the other, pulling him close and tucking him against his body. Fingertips slowly run through his hair as his gaze returns to the book.

"I won't blame you if you fall asleep," they murmur when they notice how the other is trying to keep his eyes open. "Don't force yourself to stay up on my account." Their fingers continue to pet through Flynn's hair, down his back, gently allowing him rest while they continue to read. Most likely for the rest of the night. They'd regret it in the morning, but they had nothing going on. Sleeping all day would be a welcome reprieve from the stressors of day-to-day anyway.

Flynn hums, stepping closer and squinting against the lamplight.

"Yeah, babe, 'course." He murmurs, solving this problem by curling himself up on the couch next to Sami, head on their shoulder. What's likely to happen is that neither of them are probably going to make it back to bed - Flynn asleep on the couch and Sami seeing that as permission to keep reading until the sun rises again.

Flynn is trying valiantly, though, to keep his eyes open and ensure Sami at least comes with him to lay down and cuddle - stretch out after having been sat curled against the arm of the couch for so long.

#miidnighters

[exquisitexagony]

When Leo finally gets in the car, Arthur's sat back in his seat, finishing off the blunt. He reaches over to roll down the windows a little further, keep the truck aired out. A flick of ash against the dashboard. He doesn't turn to look at her, even as she apologises.

Cyan eyes stay pinned out the window, hand trembling slightly as he plucks the joint from his mouth again. Brows knit together, her question feeling like a slap in the face.

"EASILY?!"

The word bursts past his lips before he can have a chance to stop it. Suddenly, he's shifting in his seat to face her, anger lighting back up in his chest.

"You think what I did was easy?!" They can't help that their voice raises. "Leo, that was--" A roll of their eyes, turning away again. A slight scoff. "It took everything in me not to just stay, Leo. I didn't want to fucking leave you, but your mom and I--" He cuts himself off, not wanting to drag Edie into this. A huff of a sigh through their teeth, starting up the truck. They put their joint out on the dash as they shifted the truck into reverse.

"I don't hate it!" Xe snaps again. Fingertips press to the bridge of his nose, closing xyr eyes for a moment. A deep breath before xe manages to actually put xyr attention on backing out of the drive. Silence, lips pursing as xe turns to look out the back window. A huff of a sigh once they're out of Edie's driveway and headed safely down the road. Should he be driving when he was high? Probably not. But he didn't really want to think ab out that right now.

"It's not that I hate that you love me, Leo. It's that I can't--" He swallows hard, chewing the inside of his lip. "You said it yourself!" A hand tossed in the air, hitting the edge of the steering wheel.

"I'm not--" His voice trembles slightly, catching in their throat. A pause. A swallow. "Nobody can love me. I'm a bad person, Leo! I'm bad! You should find someone better than this to love..." Tears trickle down their cheeks, teeth clenching angrily, their gaze pinned to the road, but their driving unsteady at best. They wipe frantically at their eyes to clear their gaze, the vehicle speeding much faster than the limit sign they pass.

"You can't love me, Leo. No one can. No one can!" They shake their head. "I'm not smart, I'm selfish, I'm a criminal, I fucking eat people, Leo!! I'm a wreck, I'm poor, I'm homeless..!! I killed my own goddamned family!" A desperate gasp for air, his tears coming in heavier sobs now. He swerves slightly on the road, frantic, losing control.

"You said it, Leo. I hate myself! I'm unloveable! You are the only person who has ever claimed to love me, so how can I-- how can I believe that?! How?!"

As xe walks off without a word, she feels her anger growing. In truth, she’s no sure who she is most angry at: Arthur her mother, or herself. She takes a minute to simmer down, to stare off at nothing instead of staring daggers at everyone else around her. Finally, she turns to Edie with tears still fresh in her eyes.

“I love you, but that was wrong.” Leo sniffles, chews her bottom lip. “I will call you soon, okay?” She reluctantly hugs her before turning and hurrying up towards the truck.

A prolonged silence hangs when she settles into the truck. Her eyes stay pinned on the house, watching as Edie slowly makes her way up the stairs and inside. Peter waves from the doorway before that flutters shut, too. With a hard swallow she exhales and shifts her body to face Arthur.

“I’m sorry for pushing you.” She looks up to the ceiling of the truck, eyes fluttering to blink back tears, and then her gaze settles on his again. “I didn’t know if you were dead, or hurt, and I couldn’t understand what I did wrong to make you leave like that.” A shaky inhale, exhaling slowly. “I mean did… did I do something to make you walk away that easily?” The question is posed with a quivering lip, trying her hardest not to start fully crying again. "I mean I just... I know you hate it, but I love you, you can take that however you want... but what you did hurt. Really hurt."

#gollldrush #v; flesheater #self-hate tw #cannibalism mention tw #argument tw #꧁༺ Qᴜᴇᴜᴇᴅ & ʟᴏᴀᴅᴇᴅ ༻꧂

[exquisitexagony]

#musings #old soul au #faceclaim

[exquisitexagony]

Timothée chalamet: a mirror trilogy

#faceclaim #musings

[exquisitexagony]

Arthur flinches when Leo pulled away, easily slipping back into that stone-cold demeanour once he is visible. A sniff. His eyes fall to the ground as Leo shouts at him, says everything on her mind. Lips purse slightly, but xe says nothing. Xe stands in silent emotionlessness as Leo turns to yell at her mother as well. They’d both behaved selfishly, xe knew. But there was a part of him that wanted to defend Edie—to point out that she was just a worried mother. That he couldn’t blame her for not trusting him. She’d called Leo delusional, though, and that had been incredibly uncalled for, so he couldn’t get any words out that made sense.

Head hangs low. They breathe slow, steady, at a standstill as they let Leo just go at it. Her words sting and bring a sharp pain to his chest, heart sinking into the pit of his stomach and making him feel nauseated. They’re instantly a bit dizzy, but they manage to just suck in a breath and lean against the nearest support of the porch. Arms fold over their chest.

Another sniffle. They watch her storm off, then let their gaze flicker over to Edie as if to say something. Again, nothing comes out. They’re stood in awkward, tense silence while Leo grabs her things…

As the bag hits xem square in the chest, xe gives a slight grunt, hands quickly flying up to grab hold of it. Xe swallows hard, looking down at Leo with the bag clung to xyr middle. There’s a short instance in which xe’s just stood there, staring blankly, xyr mind racing. Finally, he nods, shifts the bag to sling it over his shoulder. Once last glance at Edie as he turns around and walks away without a word. Truck door opens, bag tossed in the backseat, slamming shut again. He slides into the driver’s side of the beat up old vehicle before anyone can give him anymore shit.

A lit joint.

After a moment, Leo lets go – wiggling away from xyr grasp at the explanation. Her eyes drift over xyr face, hands, like she’s checking them for injuries. Amongst all the pain she’d been terrified that something horrible might happen to him, whether he caused it himself or someone else did.

“How could that have been the right thing?” She swallows hard, not even giving her mom so much as a glance. “I told you I didn’t know what I’d do without you and you… you thought it was right to just leave me?” Her hands lift to her face to wipe away tears. “That made me feel worthless! Like I meant nothing at all to you!”

She’s turning then to Edie, a fire in her eyes. Pissed. “And YOU! You don’t ever get to speak for me!”

“Just because I was abused doesn’t mean I’m a fucking child!” She’s shouting at both of them now, loud enough that Peter is standing at the door, watching. “I’m not fucking delusional!” Her eyes fall to Arthur, not as angry a glare as she gave her mother, but still brutal. “I got away from Eric! Nobody helped me with that! I don’t need either of you to pretend like you’re trying to protect me! She just wants to control me, and you’re so fucking obsessed with the idea that you’re unlovable that you tried to fuck over the one person that does love you!”

Leo turns and stomps up the porch steps, hesitating at the screen door. She turns to Arthur and points. “Don’t fucking move Arthur Samuels or I swear to god!” She shoulders past Peter and runs upstairs, haphazardly throwing everything into a bag that she can. Moments later she’s reappeared outside and shoves her bag into Arthur’s chest.

"Don't ever do that shit to me again."

#gollldrush #v; flesheater #mobile reply #panic tw #self-hate tw #ptsd tw

[exquisitexagony]

“With all due respect, m’am, she’s a big girl. She can make her own decisions,” he growls through clenched teeth. “Yeah, we agreed! That’s the PROBLEM! WE agreed, without even so much as considering what LEO wants!” A huff of frustration, closing his eyes for a moment as he shakes his head. “That’s exactly— That’s exactly why I need to talk to her! Don’t you get it? I don’t want her to think I just fucking abandoned her..!”

The shouting match between them is desperate with their words overlapping each other, barely giving a second to breathe. Xe bites xyr lip when she says xyr name, glaring daggers into her, hands on xyr hips. Tongue presses to the inside of xyr cheek, trying to hold back, but the minute she calls Leo delusional…

“SHE’S NOT DELUSIONAL!!” An explosion like a stopped up volcano, his face red, voice deep and gritty when he shouts at her—zero respect left in the way he carries himself. They freeze, though, when their gaze falls on little Leo standing in the doorway. Breath catches. They can’t help the faint smile that twitches up one corner of their mouth, pain in their chest from missing her. “Hey…” they breathe out, but before they can even explain, she’s lunging at them.

Hands smack against his chest and he stumbles backwards, slipping slightly against the edge of the steps behind. A sharp inhale, though he doesn’t say anything. He knew he deserved this reaction. Even if it pained him.

Shame has his head hanging slightly, shrinking away when she comes at him again, manages to break free of her mom’s grasp. The second her body collides with his, he’s stumbling down the porch steps, wincing at the way his ankle twists and tripping slightly. He manages to stay upright, though, arms gripping Leo to keep steady so they didn’t both end up on the ground. He buries his face in her shoulder, a soft whine given as he squeezes her tightly.

“I know,” he mumbles, tears stinging his eyes despite his best efforts. He squeezes his eyes shut, refuses to lift his head. “I know I did. And I am. You have every right to be mad…” A beat. He sniffles softly, holds her even tighter. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong…I’m sorry, Leo.”

Who gave you the right to make that decision for her?!

“I have every right because I’m her MOTHER.” The words are laced with venom, backed with the protectiveness of a bear over her cubs. Edie had failed her for so long, she wasn’t going to let it happen again. “You and I agreed that this is what’s best for her. She thinks you left her in the middle of the night for no goddamned reason, what makes you think she even wants to see you?”

Her tongue presses to her teeth as she exhales harshly. It seems they’re at a standstill. She knew it was wrong to take Leo’s choices away, but after all she’d been told, she wasn’t quite sure if Leo was of sound mind and judgment for decision making.

“Look here, Arthur.” Edie’s hands are shaking, anger pulsing through her entire system. “She’s got to get through these delusional feelings for you and then maybe I will let you see her.” She clears her throat. “I will give you my phone number, you can call and ask me about her any time. But until then-“

The door creaks open behind her and there stands Leo. Her eyes blink a bit against the light as she stares confusedly at Arthur. Almost like xe’s not really there. A sudden flood of emotions hits her and makes her take a step backwards. Then she’s launching herself around Edie and shoving xem with tears in her eyes.

“You’re an asshole!” Her voice breaks, another shove to xyr chest. Edie’s hands are at her shoulders and pulling her backwards so she doesn’t send Arthur down the steps. “You’re a fucking asshole!” She shakes loose of Edie’s grip, flying at xem again. This time, her arms wrap around xem in a hug that’s hard enough to knock the wind from them both.

“You le- you left me!” Her hands are desperately clinging to the back of his shirt as she cries. A mixture of joy and anger and relief.

Edie stares at Arthur, hateful.

#gollldrush #v; flesheater

[exquisitexagony]

Lips press together tightly as he shifts the weight on his feet to try and peer past Edie. She doesn’t make it easy and eventually he settles. They heave out an irritated sigh. They’d come all this way…

“So she’s not OK,” xe clarifies a bit firmly. “Or she wasn’t. She— Edie, I just want to explain it to her. I want her to know I didn’t just—“ Xe’s interrupted by her next words—harsh, with a look that could kill. If he wasn’t such a hardened soul himself, he might’ve shrunk back…Ran away like a sick dog, tail between his legs. Something about that look makes his skin crawl, but not from fear…Rage.

“Ed—“ Another heavy sigh, shoulders sinking. “Edie, dammit! I just want to make sure she—“ A shake of their head, hands tearing back through their tangled curls. “Don’t you think staying here ought to be her decision?” His voice is a little more raised now, deep and gravelled as anger wells in the pit of his chest.

“Who gave you the right to make that decision for her?!”

“No.” Edie shifts her weight to block xyr view of the door even more. “No.” Her hand slips off the handle, sighing in aggravation at the look on Arthur’s face. Like a kicked dog. “She is just starting to get better. I don't need you going in there and mess her back up."

The anger is bred out of selfishness. Edie knew the second Leo saw him, she’d be gone, and who knew when they’d see each other again? That alone was terrifying. Thinking of her daughter sleeping in a truck, no stability, with a boy who she found questionable…

The look on her face would be enough to strike most men dead.

"Get the hell off my property."

#gollldrush #v; flesheater #argument tw

[exquisitexagony]

When the door pulls open, he flinches and instantly looks up. Wide eyes stare into Edie's, breath caught in his throat. She was angry. He could see it in the way she held herself and it hurt to hear the way she snapped at him like he'd done something wrong. He knew he'd promised not to come back, but...

"Edie, please, I just wanna see 'er," xe whispers, gaze flickering to the door and then back to Edie. "I just-- I just wanna talk to her..." Make this right. He could only imagine what might have gone through her head when he just disappeared. At the very least, he wanted to explain himself, let her make her own decison. If, in the end, that meant still leaving her there, so be it. But he couldn't stand knowing that he'd made that choice for her.

The weeks droned on slowly, painfully. She didn’t understand, couldn’t wrap her mind around how he could leave her behind so easily. Had she meant so little to xem? Xe didn’t even give her the chance to properly say goodbye. It hurt, felt like another betrayal in her life – and she punished herself for it, like she had caused it.

It took a long time for her to start coming around. Things between her and her mom were tense, even worse when it came to her and Peter. She couldn’t stand him, refused to be in the same room as him for longer than a meal. Without a car, she was mostly trapped there, or dependent on the mercy of her mother to let her drive her car. With Edie a bit afraid of what Leo might do on her own, she usually said no.

A soft knock comes at the door, only loud enough for Edie to hear. They usually got visitors from church, or old friends of Leo’s that wanted to stop by and say hi. So when she opens the door she’s not expecting to see him standing there.

There’s a long moment of silence – Edie just staring with that hardened gaze. Leo is out of sight in the kitchen, busying herself with baking something. With an angered sigh, she steps across the threshold and holds the door slightly closed behind her, blocking his view in, and Leo’s view out.

“She’s fine.” Her tone is cold, snappy, answering a question that hadn’t been posed. “You need to leave."

#gollldrush #v; flesheater

[exquisitexagony]

Taking off in that truck had been one of the hardest things Arthur had ever had to do. But he knew it was the right thing--At least, that's what he thought. He was sparing her, giving her back her life. Because, really, he loved her cared about her too much to ruin it all. At first, he didn't know where to go. Just kept driving, avoiding cop cars like the plague, sobbing so hard at first it made it difficult to stay on the road. Once he was far enough away, he would take a break, sleep in the truck bed and then get going again. Eventually, he had circled back home. Back to where he knew his sister would probably be waiting.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Fast forward a few weeks and Arthur's sister has finally convinced him that leaving was wrong, that he'd fucked up. She didn't seem to care what Leo's mom had said, had basically said a big "fuck you" in response when Arthur explained that Edie had thought it the best option. Jazz had her own, very loud opinions on the matter, most of which were arguments Arthur could shrug off. There was one thing that had stuck out to him, though, that he couldn't quite disagree with. What did Leo want? He hadn't asked her. Hadn't really given her time to tell him to stay. Not even a hint that he was going to leave in the first place. Besides that, Jazzi pointed out that he was protecting her and clearly if she didn't like her life with him she would have asked him to leave her there...Points that made sense, even if he was scared that was what he just wanted to believe.

There's hesitation when Arthur pulls the truck up to Edie's house, just sitting there for a long moment and staring at the front door. Their breath is slow, a shaking hand reaching over for a cigarette. They opt to finish it in the truck before finally clambouring out of the vehicle and striding up to the front porch. They wipe their sweaty palms on their jeans nervously. A deep breath and then... A light wrap of their knuckles on the door, stepping back a little afterward to give space, fidgeting anxiously at the hem at the bottom of xyr shirt.

She sits up on her elbows and cranes her neck to look over the edge of the bed. Seeing him already asleep makes her huff out a laugh. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep once she settles down, happy again to be in a familiar bed.

In the morning, she wakes to find no trace of Arthur in the room. It’s strange for xem to wake up before she does, but she brushes it off as maybe they were in too much discomfort on the floor. After getting herself put together a bit she repacks her small bag, tucking the notebook carefully on top and heads downstairs.

“Hey, have you seen Arthur?”

Edie’s sat at the dining room table, a cup of coffee to her left and the newspaper in her hands. She sets it down and clears her throat. Peter’s at her side, quickly scribbling through a crossword puzzle. Leo frowns upon seeing him – but she’s not surprised.

“He’s not here.” Edie’s eyes slightly narrow. “Hasn’t been here since I woke up.”

“Oh.” Leo shrugs, turning to the kitchen to grab an apple off the counter, thinking nothing of it. “He probably went to get cigarettes or something.”

With the apple awkwardly bitten and held in her mouth, she begins to pour herself a cup of coffee. She figured he would be back any moment and they could leave – she knew that would make xem happy to get the hell out of here. The only cause for concern is when she turns back around, chomping away at the fruit, and Edie’s face is contorted into something sad.

“What?” Leo makes a face, almost laughing. “Don’t be sad, I’m sure we will come back.”

“No, sweetheart…” Edie sighs, setting down the newspaper and crossing her hands. “I’ve been up for hours, he hasn't been back.”

“Ooookay?” Leo holds the same expression, her face knit together in almost amusement, although a bit of fear starts to creep in. “I mean, you probably just didn’t see them.”

“Leonora. Peter saw him leave in the middle of the night. He’s gone, sweetheart.”

“No.” She shakes her head, frowning. “No. Arthur wouldn’t leave without me that’s – that’s ridiculous.” The last words are said through confused laughter. “Why would you even say that? …Why would you say that?”

The following silence from both Edie and Peter has her heart racing. A few moments pass where she stands entirely frozen before her gaze drift out the window to where the truck had sat. Surely he wouldn’t have…

And then the words from the night before make sense – spoken like xe was saying goodbye. There’s a shattering pain that blooms from her heart and spiderwebs across her chest, aching from her shoulders down to her hands. She barely hears her mother calling for her as she flees from the house and down the driveway, practically sprinting like she might just catch the glimpse of taillights speeding away, like xe wasn't already long gone.

#gollldrush #v; flesheater

[exquisitexagony]

A huff of a laugh, rolling his eyes with a shake of his head at her remark about being stubborn. The glare she’d given him didn’t go unnoticed, but he chose to ignore it. Or try to. He couldn’t crawl up there now; it would only make leaving even harder.

Her question catches him off guard and suddenly xe’s realizing just how silly xe probably sounds to her. A soft chuckle, shaking xyr head. “I don’t know. Just thinking, I guess…” A quirked brow when xe hears her patting the bed again.

“Leo, it’s okay. I’m comfortable down here and, besides, I don’t think your mom would like it very much.” It was sort of a lame excuse, but at least it sounded believable.

He falls quiet, then, listening to her rustle around in the sheets, put away her notebook. Lips press into a thin line. Eyes shut when she speaks up again, holding xyr breath for a moment. Her sentiment goes without response. Instead, he lets his lips part slightly, lets his breathing come in steady heaves to sound as asleep as possible, eyelids kept shut as he laid there on his back. An excuse to not respond. An excuse not to cause himself anymore pain…

Arthur’s insistence to stay on the floor has her suddenly sulking. She liked sleeping next to him – it made her feel safe. It didn’t help either that she knew he was in pain. A narrowed look is shot in their direction just in time to catch xem peeking over the bed.

“You old men really are stubborn, huh?” She laughs again, following it up with a roll of her eyes when xe plops back down to the floor.

She’s silent, then, just drawing – laser focused onto what she’s doing until he starts talking again. Whatever he’s saying is weird. And she quirks a brow up again, setting down her notebook entirely to look at xem. Xe looks so… strange. She wonders just how hard he’d hit his head.

“Why are you thanking me?” Leo sits up a little straighter, confused. “I told you before that you’re unfortunately stuck with me.” She pats the bed again, not-so-subtly begging for xem to come up next to her. “Please, I can’t watch you sleep on the floor knowing you got hit by a fucking car.”

Leo yawns and stretches over the bed to put her notebook away, then jams herself back against the wall and under the covers in case xe changes xyr mind. After a beat, regardless of if xe’s come into the bed or not, she clears her throat.

“I’m glad we’re friends, Arthur.” Even if she wanted more, she was grateful for what they had. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

#gollldrush #v; flesheater

[exquisitexagony]

A smile plays on xyr lips. “I dunno, you looked pretty stirred up,” xe points out gently despite her assurance. A shrug given before their eyes widen at her admission to studying to be a nurse.

“Really? No, uh…I don’t- I don’t think you told me that, less I forgot.” He chuckles softly, resting against her again. Another kiss has him humming softly, eyelids fluttering shut for a moment in contentment.

“Mm…It’s OK. Mostly just...fatigued." A small frown, glancing down at her. "Have I ever talked about it before..?" Head tilts to one side slightly. "I mean, the whole..." A gesture to xyr weak body. "I- I- I might have. I don't know. I don't usually...like to bring it up." They were close enough, though, that xe felt a little more comfortable opening up about it with her--especially with the admission of her having studied to be a nurse.

"You won't scare me." Bella assures them. As much as she doesn't like seeing them this way, it's not frightening, really. It had just been the unexpectedness that had shaken her. "Did I ever tell you I studied as a nurse, before I left England?"

Her point being, if he wanted to explain, she'd understand. If he just wanted the company, she'd understand. Turning her head, Bella presses a soft kiss into their curls. "You want to sleep or you're okay?"

#miidnighters

[exquisitexagony]

Night comes faster than Arthur expected. He'd kept himself busy for most of the day, even mowed Edie's lawn for her. He had to keep himself busy what with the way his nerves were pressing at the front of his mind. Of course, he was in no condition to be doing so much physical work, so by the time the sun drifted down over the horizon, he felt like he could just collapse. Leaving that comfortable house to drive across the state in his beat up old truck was sounding less and less appealing. If he really did have a concussion it was downright dangerous, but...Well, he couldn't really go back on his word now.

He's sat on the floor now, wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to at least look like he's going to be sleeping. An exhausted sigh as he rests back against his arms, looks up tiredly at Leo when she offers the spot next to her in bed. Xe's quick to shake xyr head at the offer, though, lifting a hand.

"It's OK, Leo. I'm fine on the floor." Easier to leave quietly that way. A tired smile up at her, trying to brush away the pain in the back of his neck, his legs.

After a moment, xe does peek over the edge of the bed, resting xyr chin on the mattress as xe watches her draw. Half-lidded, sunken eyes stare blankly, eyeing the little doodle she's making in her sketchbook. A faint smirk. It's good to see her so happy again. So relaxed. Xe hopes silently that this was the best decision. She would be happier here by herself. Xe wasn't like her. Xe couldn't stay in one place for too long. She could have a better life without xem holding her back.

They yawn when she asks where they should go next and turn away finally. Laying on their back on the floor, they fold their hands behind their head, staring at the ceiling. They swallow back the pain of knowing that whatever they say wouldn't be true before speaking hesitantly,

"Oh...I don't know." They shake their head. "I say we just...see where the road takes us." A beat. "Hey, Leo?" He clears his throat softly, trying to find the right way to say what's on his mind without giving anything away...

"Um...Thanks again for, uh...Well, for everything. Being there when, uhh...When my sister showed up and..." He shakes his head, biting his tongue. "I don't know, just...Being kind. I know it's not...I don't make it easy."

“Did my mom give you a hard time or something?” A look of confusion washes over her face, lips pursing. Their stuttering and awkward movements had easily caught her attention. But then he explains a potential concussion, and she nods, as if it makes sense. “Oh, yeah. If you feel that bad we definitely need to stay.” A smile lights up her face again at the idea of getting to sleep in a bed, her bed, instead of the back of the truck.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” Leo’s sat in the middle of the bed with her legs crossed, staring at Arthur as she yawns. “Here.” She moves all the way over until she’s pressed against the wall. “Plenty of room for you to stretch out and snore.”

She grins, laughing a bit as she stares down at her sketchbook. It was a little odd that Arthur had brought her things in, but she figured it was just because she looked bored. She’s doodling the outline of the field with the rusted-out tractor in it. It’s as if all the prior pain of the day had simply been washed away, replaced by that sunshiney demeanor she clung so hard to.

“Where do you think we should go next?” Her eyebrows lift although she doesn’t look away from her drawing. “Maybe the Great Lakes? That would be fun.”

#gollldrush #v; flesheater

[exquisitexagony]

A slight twitch in his features when she responds to his comment about her and Leo being alike. There's a faint smile the curls the corner of his mouth, though pain hides behind it as his gaze falls off of her. How much he missed his own mother.

"No," he says quickly when she says her father had been better at this. Frowning, he shakes his head as he looks at Edie again. "Don't say that," he whispers. A light clearing of his throat, shifting when he realizes that may have sounded out of line. "I mean...You're a good mom, Edie. You really are. She turned out great an' thats...Well, that's gotta say somethin', right?" He swallows again, feeling his breath catch in his throat. A mute nod when she agrees to his suggestion of leaving at night. A slight sniffle, cyan hues remaining off of her when he nods again at her.

"Yeah, no, I, uh..." He swallows. "I won't." A tense smile flashed up at Edie, an uncertainty in his eyes for once breaking past that pokerface of his. The warning in her eyes is taken and he blinks twitchily as he looks away again when she calls for her daughter to return.

As soon as Edie storms off, Arthur's turning his back on the direction she had gone. A deep breath, like he'd forgotten to breathe during that whole interaction. A tear trickles down his cheek, hands shoved deep into his pockets. How could he just leave his heart behind? He was no good for her. He had to go.

Another sniffle, quickly swiping away his tears when he hears footsteps from behind. He spins round, emotionless when his gaze meets Leo's. Then, a tense sort of smile pressed into his features in attempted reassurance.

"Uhhh..." A beat, his words struggling to come out, throat raw, voice barely a whisper. They clear their throat, scratch awkwardly at the back of their neck. They're avoiding her gaze now, searching for something to ground them again. A slow breath out, counting in their head. Xe needed another cigarette.

"I'm...Nah, I'm- I'm okay, but, um..." He swallows, glances back in the direction Edie had gone before. "I- I- I think we should stay." A few nods. "You were right. We need time to, um...recuperate. I fucked up my leg pretty badly and, uh..." A shrug, frowning. "I dunno, I was feelin' sorta nauseated, might have a concussion...Plus, you could use the rest in a real bed, I'm sure, so..." Xe gives another nod, managing a smile that seems sincere. "Yeah, I think another night would be good."

“We have always had a complicated relationship.” It’s stated matter-of-factly, leaving no room for argument. “Mother and daughters are funny like that.” A part of her knew he was right, that they were terribly alike, even if neither could own up to it. “Her father was much better at all of this than I ever was.”

“Go in the middle of the night.” Edie nods, the idea sounding agreeable enough. “She will be fine here. And she can have an actual life.” She’d work out the rest of the details on her own – getting Leo’s belongings from Dayton, finding her a job. “As long as you promise me that you won’t come back.”

The accident and Leo’s reaction to it had bred suspicion in Edie. Although she can’t piece together exactly how, something about it makes her wonder if he’s connected to it. That perhaps her daughter had chosen yet another person that could end up hurting her. She’s smart enough to not push the subject, to not leave defining clues that she thinks something is up. But the look in her eye should be enough of a warning.

“Leo!” Edie calls, effectively ending their conversation and any protests xe might have. When she doesn’t answer, Edie huffs out a sigh and goes off in search of her. After a few minutes Leo comes trailing back into the living room alone.

“Hey.” She’s trying to be cheerful, trying to pretend that the look on her mother’s face hadn’t absolutely ripped her to shreds inside. “Are you – are you feeling okay? We can go now, if you want. We don’t have to stay.” Xe looks… weird, and she wonders what Edie might have said to xem, although she doesn’t ask.

#gollldrush #v; flesheater