fangirl-oracle

[fangirl-oracle]

Things I didn't know I needed to know

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i think the major issue is that at least in the case of fat people (i would imagine some other marginalized people too, but don't care to speak past my own experience here) is that the conversation re: chubby chasers has resolved around this mystical spectre of The Fetishist, whose attraction to fat people is bad because it's Fetishistic (in a way that exclusive attraction to thin bodies, by virtue of being culturally normative, is not) and it Fetishizes their partners and creates toxic Fetish Content. it's essentially the discussion of a real problem (the sexual exploitation & abuse of fat people) utilizing only the language of reactionary constructions re: "porn addiction" and non-normative attraction. i don't really give a shit if a guy has only ever dated 300 LB+ women, but what i DO care about is what those women say about him and how he treated them, if he was public about their relationships, if he listened when they said "no," etc. honest-to-god shitty chubby chasers aren't bad because of this nebulous idea of Fetishism so much as the violence with which they treat fat people, the harassment they put unconsenting fat people through, the frequent abuse of their sexual partners, and definingly the way in which they exploit cultural fatphobia & the desexualization of fat people to get away with it over and over and over again. and the irony of it is that the more we panic about Fat Fetishists without centering the conversation on power and violence, and the more we by-extension reinforce attraction to fat bodies as an abnormal and abhorrent trait, the deeper this hole is dug -- because it's that very abnormality which pushes fat partners into the shadows and which casts constant doubt over our voices as survivors of sexual violence. it's goofy

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this honestly just came out of left fucking field i would have never expected to hear anything like this in this show. consider me Pleasantly Surprised tbh

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i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy

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The holy grail of searching through academic literature is coming across a string of publications that are like:

Here’s An Idea. Smith et al. 2016

Terrible Idea; a comment on Smith et al. 2016. Johnson 2016.

You’re Wrong Too; a response to Johnson 2016. Nelson 2016.

Guys Just Stop Fighting, None Of Us Know What’s Going On; a Review of the Current Literature. McBrien 2017.

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can i come over and implant false memories of us being childhood friends?

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There's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, but the midnight train goes anywhere. Trains are clearly the superior transit method.

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there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot

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Finally some good fucking news

[fangirl-oracle]

Here's how to write an authentic Grimm style fairytale, brought to you by a Certified German TM:

Forget everything Disney movies taught you, besides maybe Snowwhite, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. But even those are on thin fucking ice. Also ignore modern fantasy literature conventions, especially Dungeons & Dragons type stuff.

Ideally only the protagonist or none of the characters ought to have names. And the names should either be really fucking ordinary, or some kind of epithet. Like, either that's a Franz or a Bramblesock, cause when Bramblesock was a child he lost a sock in a shrub of brambles. Everyone else is either the king, the grandma, or the carpenter.

The common types of protagonist: Regular working class guy who cons his way into a life of riches, poor downtrodden peasant who through hardworking kindness is granted salvation (usually via gaining riches), too pure too good for this world princess who can't catch a fucking break, too nasty too bratty for this world princess who gets taught a lesson in humility.

The characters are generally very one note and the only kind of character growth they can experience boils down to "maybe I shouldn't have been a dick, huh?"

The location is either as vague as possible or super fucking specific for no reason; either the story takes place literally nowhere or in the town of Buxtehude.

Animals and inanimate objects that can talk for no apparent reason and no one bats an eye at are always a great addition.

If you want to add any fantasy races, use giants (large, dumb brutes), dwarves (angry little guys who live in the wilderness and get really angry if you touch their beards), or gnomes (mischievous house spirits who might be helpful but watch out!), but never more than one of these. Fairies are rare and usually the "tall beautiful wise woman" type, not the small annoying pixie type. Dragons are very pointedly no-where to be found, those distinctly belong in sagas, which are their own distinct type of literature.

Weird moral of the story that either boils down to "be smarter than all the other fuckers", "good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people", or "don't upset the supernatural".

Random tidbits of gore that no one bats an eye at.

Witches eat children, if a mother gets more than single line dedicated to her she's evil, fathers are spineless and/or assholes who either die or come around in the end.

Ugly means evil, pretty means good. Except when it doesn't.

Optional: Repeated rhyming phrases and numbers. Seventh son of a seventh son kinda stuff. The numbers 3, 7, 12, and 13 in particular.

Ideally a 19th century scholar should be able to read some clumsy Germanic pagan wishful thinking into the story, no matter how big and obvious the Christian overtones are.

Optional: Start the story with "Once upon a time" and end it with "And if they didn't die, then they are still alive today."

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x-men’s inherent flaw in its storytelling is that it always has mutants with useful powers telling mutants with actual curses to be proud of their powers 

“you should embrace your gifts” says Orgasm Dude, the dude with the power to give anyone an orgasm

“yeah thanks” says Will Explode If He Gets A Boner Man 

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body paintings by Karen Turner

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society is actually wrong. u can like poem and talk about it to ur friends