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It’s 10:15 in the morning and Robert is fucking late. He’s never been late to any of his lectures, especially psychology, the degree he’s supposed to major in.
And he wouldn’t be late if it weren’t for Pete, his annoying roommate and his newest conquest Sarah, or Sophia, or whatever her name was – they never stuck around long enough for Pete to actually properly introduce them to Robert.
Robert’s alarm always rings at eight am sharp, so that he can take a shower, dress up, and have time to walk to the nearest coffee shop (which is ironically Starbucks) two blocks away in order to have some breakfast before his 10 am classes.
Unfortunately, it so happened that Pete decided to bring back his new ‘friend’ at two in the morning and bang her brains out so hard that she wouldn’t stop moaning and screaming, causing Robert to stuff a pillow over his face. Once he realized that the pillow didn’t really help muffle the screams, he decided that the next best thing was to suffocate himself with it.
Long story short, he fell asleep around four in the morning and didn’t hear the alarm, so he woke up at half past nine and didn’t even get the time to have a nice breakfast before rushing to a class he would be late for anyways.
Robert can barely breathe as he takes two steps at a time to get to his lecture hall. He opens the door too loudly and slams it against the wall, which has everyone in the lecture hall turn around to stare at him.
He can image how he must look: disheveled hair, laptop bag hanging around his neck, and his plaid shirt buttoned only halfway up. He plants a smile on his face as he apologizes to Mr. Winston and quickly walks down the steps to get to his seat.
Robert isn’t even surprised to see none other than Aaron Dingle, president of the Alpha Beta Zeta (ABZ for short) fraternity, lounging in his seat.
Who did he think he was, taking Robert’s unassigned seat that had obviously been his since last year when he first sat down?
At first Robert isn’t sure if Aaron even noticed him coming in and now embarrassingly standing next to him. But then he sees the mischievous smile playing at the corners of his mouth, so he angrily taps his foot against the floor and crosses his arms.
“Excuse me? I believe you’re in my seat.”
“Your seat, is it?” Aaron asks and turns his head to look up at Robert.
“Yes.” Robert answers, dropping the volume of his voice since Mr. Winston has continued with his lesson.
“I don’t see your name on it. And we’re not in preschool anymore, are we?”
Robert can feel all his neurons slipping away because of how utterly stupid and annoying Aaron Dingle can be.
“We’re not, but it looks like your height still is.”
Aaron' chiseled jaw clenches and Robert knows he’s hit a soft spot. If there was one thing Robert knew Aaron couldn’t handle, it was when people made observations and comments about his ‘masculinity’.
His eyes fall on the empty seat next to Aaron’ that used to be Finn’s but it seems like he didn’t bother showing up today, so Robert excuses himself and tries squeezing in the space between Aaron’ knees and the seat, before he drops down in Finn’s seat.
Now that he thinks about it, he should’ve sat down in Aaron’ seat, which is exactly behind Robert’s. Well, it was too late now, so Robert pulls out his laptop and turns it on. He’s about to ask Aaron to let him copy his notes (something he would’ve never done if he wasn't in a crisis), but then he realizes that Aaron is playing Call Of Duty, completely ignoring Mr. Winston. Great.
Robert begins to copy all the notes he can see written on the giant whiteboard about the human brain in astounding details. As he does that, his brain can’t help but wonder to how he came to know the specimen that is Aaron Dingle.
It all started last year, right when Robert set foot in his psychology 101 lecture hall. He chose the seat right by the aisle, in the second row from the back, quite far away from the professor.
What he didn’t really know at the time was that the cute guy with the soft fringe and sharp jaw who was sitting behind him was actually a 5 foot 7 ball of energy during lectures, with a high pitched Yorkshire accent, who wouldn’t let Robert properly pay attention and actually learn something.
Robert didn’t learn Aaron’ name or who he actually was until the second month of his freshman year when his roommate Pete invited Robert to the first official soccer game of the season. By then he already hated the guy who sat behind him in psychology with a passion. So when he spotted the guy in a pair of white footie shorts and a black bandana around his bicep, Robert knew someone must be playing a joke on him, because this guy was everywhere Robert turned and it seemed like he couldn’t get away from him even if he tried.
When he turned around, Robert’s eyes fell on the - quite obvious - round bum his shorts accentuated, and then on his shirt, which was encrypted with ‘DINGLE 17’.
That first game was also the day he properly met Kerry Wyatt, a girl he knew from his Social Psychology class. She was proudly sporting a ‘BARTON 9’ shirt and kept waving at Finn, the blonde Irish guy who sat next to Robert in Psych 101.
“Are you his girlfriend?” Robert asked, trying to make idle conversation with her. He hadn’t really had the time to make any friends except for Pete and Ross, the guy who works with Robert three nights out of seven at the diner a few blocks away from their university.
“Finn’s?” the girl had replied, not really fazed by Robert’s sudden question.
Robert nodded and the girl mirrored his action. “I’m Kerry Wyatt, by the way.”
“Robert. Sugden.”
“From England, right?” she laughed, and Robert envied her perfectly white teeth. They kept the conversation going throughout the game and Robert learned that she was majoring in sociology, together with her best friend and also roommate Holly Barton, whoever that was.
After the game, Kerry invited Robert to the victory party that was going to take place at the ABZ house, which was, apparently, ‘the frat house that threw the most epic parties on campus’.
Pete also invited so there wasn’t anything else Robert could do other than accept. It was Friday and if Robert wanted to have some friends in the upcoming four years of his college life, he had to go.
The frat house was a huge Victorian type building with the Greek letters sprayed on a sheet and hung from a balcony that was right above the entryway.
The entire front lawn was chaotic; there were empty beer cans, alcohol bottles and red or blue cups scattered all over the grass. The music could be heard from two blocks away and the lights kept changing every five seconds.
Kerry (sort of) introduced him to the train wreck that was Aaron Dingle. Robert was out on the back porch smoking a cigarette and talking to a senior in his Social Psych class named Nick when Kerry came looking for him to ask for help. The party was barely three hours in, but Finn was already drunk off his mind, and she couldn’t carry him upstairs to his bed alone.
“I couldn’t find anyone else sober enough to help me. Thank you so much.” She told him once Robert picked the boy up from the island counter, putting one of Finn’s arms around Kerry’s neck, and the other one around his.
“His room is the second one on the left. That one.”
Robert didn’t hesitate to open the door, he didn’t even bother to knock before he opened the door. Which. Okay. Turned out to be a huge mistake.
Dingle and a brunette girl were on the bed, and she was unashamedly sucking him off.
“Jesus.” Robert said as soon as he laid eyes on them. The brunette was startled and nearly choked as she sat up, and Dingle covered himself with the duvet that was bunched at their feet.
“What the fuck?” he asked. “Don’t you know how to knock?”
“Don’t you know how to lock a door?” Robert replied.
The guy threw him a death glare.
“As much as I hate to interrupt you guys, Finn is pissed and I’d like to lay him down on his bed. Don’t you have your own room, Mr. Vice president?”
“I do, but Ross’s occupied that one. Pete’s using his.”
“Great.” The brunette mumbled and rolled over to retrieve her dress.
Robert waited for the guy to put his boxers on under the covers before he got out of bed and properly dressed up, not bothering to hide his obvious erection.
The two of them cleared the room quickly, and Robert was left with Kerry to tuck Finn in and turn him on his side so he wouldn’t drown in his own vomit the next morning.
“Thank you for helping.”
“Who were those two?” Robert asked her as they closed the door and began walking down the stairs.
“My best friend Holly and her fuck buddy Aaron. He’s the footie captain.”
“Right. He’s a menace.”
“He is annoying sometimes, always tries to be the clown.”
“He’s not a freshman, is he?”
“No, he’s a junior. Turns twenty one in December.”
“Oh. Doesn’t look like it.”
“Doesn’t act like it, more like.” Kerry laughed and Robert joined in.
That was the first day of many more to come that Robert got the pleasure (note the sarcasm) to socialize with Aaron Dingle, who then would end up playing numerous pranks on Robert, accidentally kicking his seat during lectures because he couldn’t find a comfortable position, and throwing up on him twice out of the many times he took care of him at parties while he was piss drunk.
He has no idea why he helps Aaron though. But Robert is the kind of person who is nice to the people he doesn’t really tolerate if they really need help.
“Honestly, if you don’t even care about this lecture why do you bother showing up?” Robert whispers to him when he can’t take the sound of Aaron’ fingers hitting the keyboard anymore.
“Because I like getting on your nerves, that’s why.” Aaron replies. “And if I don’t show up to at least three lectures a week I won’t get enough credits.”
“You’re studying to become a drama teacher. Why do you even need psychology?”
“I don’t even know.” Aaron mumbles and returns to his game, which means that he’s done talking to Robert, who sighs and turns his head back to the professor.
The lecture ends only fifty minutes later, and Robert’s stomach is growling from the lack of nutrition in the past ten hours.
He gets up and closes the laptop, sliding it in the bag that was already on his shoulder. Aaron does the same, except he doesn’t have a bag; he just holds his laptop in his freakishly tiny hands as he walks up the last two steps to leave the hall.
Robert is so eager to leave and run to the nearest coffee shop to get breakfast that he doesn’t even hear Mr. Winston call out his name.
He finds Kerry and Finn at Starbucks, so he orders an Iced Coffee and a muffin before he goes to their table and joins them with a smile.
“Why weren’t you in class today?” Robert asks Finn right after he takes a sip from his coffee.
“Didn’t wake up this morning.” He answers and throws Kerry a wink. She laughs and Robert shakes his head with a smile. He always liked Kerry and Finn as a couple a lot more than he likes Aaron and Holly. He doesn’t even know if they’re together, considering he sees Aaron doesn’t really seem that interested in her.
“So there’s a party at the frat house this Friday.”
“Halloween party?”
“We decided to turn the Halloween parties into normal parties ever since Aaron dressed up as Adam but without the leaves around his crotch last year.”
“Yeah, he got really drunk last year, didn’t he?” Kerry laughs.
“He always gets drunk.” Robert adds. “’s quite trashy. Always hooks up with the toilet.”
“The man loves to drink, cut him some slack.” Finn tells him.
Robert knows he doesn’t have the best alcohol tolerance (that is if he has any at all) because he learned it the hard way when he was fifteen, at his first party that actually had something other than beer. He ended up with the head in the toilet that night and since then he stopped drinking more than he knew he could take.
“We’re collecting ten bucks from each person attending for alcohol, because Coach said he’s never going to let the club pay for our parties anymore since that victory party incident.”
Robert remembers the victory party incident, when the players got so drunk they broke a window and almost set the frat house on fire.
“Alright.” Robert agrees and puts a ten-dollar bill on the table, even though he’s probably not going to consume that much alcohol. “At nine as per usual?”
Finn nods and takes the money, then puts it in his wallet.
“Can’t wait for Friday.” He says and then calls up one of the pledges to get Aaron and then come pick him up so they could go and buy some alcohol for the party.
On Wednesdays there’s always the same middle-aged lady at the second checkout counter who’s absolutely infatuated with Aaron for some reason, or so Robert’s heard. That’s how they can always buy alcohol with no stress whatsoever.
Robert checks his watch and realizes that he should really get going if he wants to finish up the paper that’s due tomorrow and get to his 2pm lecture in time.
“Shit, I really have to go but I’ll see you later. Bye.”
Kerry smiles at him and Finn shakes his hand as he yells at the pledge over the phone. Robert hurries back to his dorm, and he’s not at all surprised when he walks in on Pete and Holly making out on his bed, nearly naked.
-
Aaron throws his MacBook on his bed as soon as he gets back to the house from the exhausting 10am lecture, and then lets himself fall next to it, face-first.
He lets out a loud groan into the sheets as he decides to lay there until he dies of starvation. Maybe then he’d get out of taking the midterm. Winston probably wouldn’t give him a break even if he were dead.
There’s a knock on his door and then Ross enters the room without waiting for an answer. He’s dressed in just a pair of sweats, which means that he doesn’t intend on attending any classes today.
Aaron likes Ross because he’s an art major who decided to join the soccer team just for fun and an excuse to get out of unwanted classes.
If he has to be honest, Aaron partially joined the team for the same reason. They obviously weren’t as big as the football team, but they were a close second and it was always full when they played a home match.
“Got a mo’?” Ross asks and sits down next to Aaron on the bed, taking out a small silver box out of his trackies.
Aaron immediately turns on his back and sits up.
“You always know how to cheer me up.”
Ross winks at him, and then opens the box that contains one regular sized joint they could probably smoke up in, like, twenty minutes without interruptions.
“When’s our next checkup?” Aaron asks while Ross lights up the joint.
“In December, I think. Don’t worry.”
Aaron waits for him to take two long drags and then takes the spliff from Ross’s fingers. He likes it when his best friend comes into his room to calm him down. It’s like he knows when Aaron feels like shit or has a bad day, because he’s always there to listen to his problems. Well, not really listen. More like smoke so much Aaron forgets about them.
But it works this way.
Sometimes Aaron doesn’t even know what’s wrong with him, why he has bad days for no reason at all. Deep down he knows, but he doesn’t want to admit it to anyone, not even himself. So he sweeps everything under the rug, then sits down on the hypothetical rug, lights up a joint and takes three, maybe ten shots of Vodka until he forgets about it.
It always works.
“You know that new sorority girl that transferred from England? Brunette?” Ross starts, and Aaron already knows what Ross wants to tell him.
“What’s her name?”
“Sophia S-something.”
“I think Pete took her home last night. That’s what Holly told me. Looks good in bed, though.”
“You’re with Holly.”
“Oh. Right.”
Sometimes Aaron forgets he’s supposed to have a girlfriend. Ever since he’s been little he’s had commitment issues. Maybe it was because of the numerous dads in his life that always came but never stayed, or because he just doesn’t feel romantically attracted to anyone. Ever.
He’s about to say something else, but his phone rings so he passes the joint back to Ross and picks it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey Dingle, Josh here. Listen, Finn asked me to inform you that we’re going over to Walmart in a few hours to get drinks for the party on Friday. We have about seven hundred bucks, do you think you could collect from fifteen more people until seven? I’m on my way to the sorority house.”
“Yeah, sure. See you then.”
“Bye.”
Aaron hangs up without saying anything else, suddenly looking forward to a night of getting completely smashed.
-
Robert’s Labor Law class is from five to six thirty on Wednesday’s, so as soon as he gets out he receives a text from Pete.
Pete Barton: hey can u drop @ Walmart quick we r out of toilet ppr thx also id rlly appreciate if you didn’t tell any1 abt what u saw :)
Robert rolls his eyes. As much as he hates Aaron Dingle, he’s never tolerated cheating. But Pete is his friend so he’s going to keep quiet. For now. If it happens again, he’ll probably tell Aaron. No one deserves to be cheated on, no matter how shitty of a person they are.
So he writes back to Pete quickly as he starts walking towards the bus station.
Don’t worry :)
He enters Walmart, grabs a small basket, and then goes off to buy toilet paper and food. As soon as he reaches the beverages section, his eyes fall on three frat boys and a pledge, who seem to be occupied with putting two bottles of each type of alcoholic beverage in the cart.
Robert’s just about to walk past unnoticed, but Finn spots him and shouts after him. He turns around with a smile plastered on his face and his eyes fall on Aaron immediately because he’s smiling at him, but it only annoys Robert.
“We’ve got money for one more bottle, what d’you think? Vodka or Jäger?” Finn asks holding the two bottles up. Their cart is already full and the pledge looks confused and scared at the same time because of the amount.
“Um… Jäger, I guess?”
Robert knows he’s a bit awkward because he’s looking at Aaron while responding to Finn, but he can’t take his eyes off of his scruff.
“You alright, mate?” Aaron asks, and that breaks Robert’s probably creepy stare.
“Yeah. Sorry. I must’ve… zoned out for a minute.”
“Sure.” Aaron laughs, before he turns to Finn and grips into the cart. “I’m going to head to checkout. You lads can stay and chat all you want, but I need you in ten minutes by the car because I’m not unloading these myself.”
“Well, you’re going to drink half of it.” Robert tells him and Aaron just flips him off as he walks away, pushing the giant cart (it’s not that big, but maybe Aaron is just tiny) in front of him.
When Robert reaches the checkout counter, the boys are already loading up a black Range Rover while loudly talking and laughing.
As he walks by them he makes eye contact with Aaron, who throws him a fake smile.
Robert already knows that he’ll end up taking care of Aaron and putting him to bed in less than forty-eight hours. He always does.
-
Thursday and the first nineteen hours of Friday pass by in a blur for Robert. After sitting through three ninety-minute lectures he has a four-hour shift at the restaurant with Ross, from five to nine. He’s planning on arriving at the party around ten. The parties usually start at nine, but everyone always shows up at least an hour later. It’s like a code.
When he gets home he takes a quick shower, puts on a Rolling Stones shirt and a pair of tight black jeans, before he waits for Pete’s new girl (whose name was Sophia, Robert learned) to finally get her makeup done so they could go.
Their dorm building is a two-minute walk away from the frat house, so they decide to walk there, even though it’s not that warm outside and Sophia has really high heels that make her a bit taller than Pete.
The music can be heard from a block away, and judging by the Snoop Dogg song that’s currently playing, Robert already knows Aaron is picking out the music.
The front doors are wide open – probably the reason the music can be heard from space. The house is packed with people Robert knows only because he sees them around often (and some personally), and the majority of them already have a red cup in hand or someone attached to their mouths.
Once Robert reaches the living room he loses Pete and Sophia, but finds Kerry at the bar in the kitchen, pouring herself a shot of Vodka.
Robert hates Vodka. It’s the one thing he isn’t able to drink. One shot is all it takes for his insides to turn upside-down.
“Robert! Do a shot with me!” she yells so he can hear her over the music.
Robert nods because he’s way too polite to deny her, so he grabs an almost empty bottle of Jägermeister and pours himself a shot.
“Cheers!” they say at the same time, and then down the shots in the split of a second.
The alcohol burns Robert’s tongue and throat, but he likes it, so he does another shot with her. And another one. With three shots already in his system, he decides that he wants to dance because Avicii is playing and Robert actually wants to have a good time.
Kerry guides him into the living room where most of the dancing is going on, and she begins to dance, but Robert is too busy looking at Aaron, who’s currently chatting to Nick, one of Robert’s good friends and former students at FSU.
He’s a DJ at a breakfast radio show in Miami now, but he occasionally visits his old campus and attends games. Robert has no idea why Aaron is talking to him, because just a year earlier he was the one completely trash-talking Nick.
Once Kerry finds a new dancing partner – Holly – Robert heads over to the DJ booth, where Aaron and Nick seem to really hit it off.
When he gets there, however, it’s clear to him that there isn’t much bonding going on as much as witty lines and smart comebacks.
“What’s going on?” Robert asks and steps next to Nick, who turns around to greet him.
“Harold! Great to see you! I was just explaining to Mr. Captain how mixing Vodka and Gin isn’t good for his footballer lungs. Or for his health.”
Aaron rolls his eyes.
“He came and asked for you but I couldn’t find you-“
“He told me to stay away from you because you’re way too young for me.”
“You’re twenty fucking five years old!” Aaron exclaims and Robert knows, judging by the way he speaks, that he’s already tipsy. He eyes the red cup in his hand, and after a bit of concentration he figures out it’s Vodka mixed with Gin as Nick had said.
“And you’re almost twenty one.” Nick shoots back.
“Yet you both argue like you’re three.”
“Well then. I’ll leave you two alone. Got some catching up to do.” Aaron finally says, sarcasm dripping off his tongue, before he turns around and heads to the kitchen.
“That guy” Nick points in the direction Aaron went “has a serious drinking problem.”
“I know.”
“How has his liver not given up on him yet?”
“He’s English.”
“Well you’re English and you puke after four shots of Tequila.”
“That was one time!” Robert protests. “And I mixed alcohol with weed.”
Nick rolls his eyes and places his cup on the table where the laptop is propped up.
“Let’s go outside.”
“Why?”
Nick sighs loudly and pulls out a small box, making Robert understand what he’s planning on.
“Fine. But just one hit for me. I already drank three shots.”
“Four’s your limit so you’ll be alright.”
They make their way through the mass of sweaty bodies until they reach the back porch, where more people are apparently sharing a joint. Ross and Finn are there, but Pete is still missing, probably off somewhere with Sophia. Or Holly.
Nick lights up the joint, takes two drags, and then passes it to Robert who only takes one drag before passing it back.
“Come on now, don’t be a pussy.”
Robert crosses his arms and stares at Nick, annoyed. He’s in the mood of making out with someone, he always is at these kind of parties, but he never finds anyone. Well, there are a lot of girls who flirt with him and try to get him upstairs, but they’re not Robert’s type. Girls aren’t Robert’s type period.
He used to hook up with Nick at parties in his freshman year. That’s probably why Aaron sometimes calls Nick a pedophile.
“Why are you smiling?”
“I’m not smiling.”
“Yeah, you are. Quite fondly.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Shut up and pass me the joint.”
“Oooh, bossy now, are we?”
Robert takes the spliff and takes two long drags, but doesn’t pass it over. He’s about to take the joint back to his lips when he’s distracted by the door loudly banging against the wall and Aaron coming out of the house.
Robert knows he’s drunk before he even hears him talk. He realizes it when he sees his glassy eyes and flushed cheeks, and also from the way he’s holding the almost empty red cup.
“What’s going on here?” he slurs and grips into the banister to hold himself up. “Why wasn’t I invited?”
“Because you’re drunk off your arse and can’t form a proper sentence.” Nick answers.
Robert throws him a warning look. Aaron tends to be in one of three moods every time he’s drunk.
There’s the hyper mood, where he’ll just jump around and dance even if it’s not in sync with the beat or any music playing at all.
Then there’s the horny mood, where he’ll just go up to anyone and feel them up, kiss their cheeks and ask them to follow him upstairs. He propositioned to Robert about five times up until now, but Robert was always kind enough to deny him. (Whether Robert wanted to actually accept Aaron’ offer or not, that’s something only he has to know.)
And there’s the mood Aaron is currently in; the one where everyone is his enemy and if someone just as much as picks on him, he goes off and tries to fight them.
“What did you just say to me, you old pedophile?”
Aaron can’t even make a step in Nick’s direction because he’s wobbly on his feet and Ross has to grab his arm.
“How about we take you upstairs, huh?” Ross suggests but Aaron pulls his arm out of his grip.
“Fuck you. I don’t need to sleep.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Do you have a problem with me?”
“No-“
“I’ll take care of it.” Robert says and hands the joint back to Nick.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Robert sighs and locks his fingers around Aaron’ wrist, but it’s clear enough that Aaron can’t even walk properly.
“I’ll help you get him upstairs.” Ross offers and Robert is glad that he doesn’t have to do this by himself again.
So they each put one arm around Aaron and guide him inside, where the music is way too loud and the people are way too drunk.
Who invented frat parties? Robert wonders as they elbow their way through the people in the living room and finally reach the stairs.
“Ross?”
Ross turns around to see Kerry walking towards them.
“There’s a cop at the door wanting to talk to the president of the fraternity about a noise complaint.”
“Fuck.”
He turns to Robert.
“Take Aaron upstairs and put him to bed. I’ll take care of it, okay?”
Robert nods and once Ross leaves, Aaron’ entire bodyweight leans against him. He’s not even that heavy, so Robert decides to swoop him up and carry him bridal style until they reach his bedroom.
He lets Aaron down on his own feet when he reaches his room at the end of the hallway, but when he opens the door he sees Pete in bed with not only Sophia, but also Holly.
Don’t you have any shame? Doing this with Aaron’ girlfriend in his bed? Robert wants to ask, but doesn’t.
“I’m going to need the room right now.” He says, a lot harsher than intended, but they deserve it.
Three minutes later, the three of them clear the room and Pete’s face turns pale when he sees Aaron sitting down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He must’ve slid down while Robert was talking to them.
“Don’t worry, he’s completely pissed. But he’ll find out eventually.”
Pete leaves then, so Robert bends down to pick Aaron up and carry him inside. He puts him down on the bed and turns him on his side.
He leaves him like that to go to the bathroom and get a wet towel to wipe his forehead, but when he comes back Aaron is on his back with his shirt off and eyes half open.
“Was that Pete with Holly?” Aaron slowly asks.
“Um. Yeah. Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine.” He hiccups. “I knew she was sleeping with other guys.”
“And it doesn’t bother you?”
“Nah, I don’t care about her. I don’t care about anyone.”
“Okay. Well, um- here. I brought you a wet towel.”
“For what?” Aaron dumbly asks and doesn’t even sit up so Robert can press it against his forehead.
Robert sits down next to him and does just that. He read a while ago (when he got so drunk he felt like he could die) that pressing a cold, wet towel against your forehead decreases your dizziness. Also, running your wrists under cold water. That’s how most of rituals with drunk Aaron play out.
(“Thanks.” Aaron would always say.
“Sure.” Robert would respond.)
“Thanks.”
Robert nods and places his hands in his lap as he watches Aaron close his eyes. He usually goes through his phone and responds to messages from his sister or retweets something while he waits for Aaron to fall asleep.
It looks like Aaron isn’t planning on sleeping anytime soon, though, based on the erratic way he’s breathing.
“Am I pathetic?”
Robert looks up at him, for Aaron to stare straight into his eyes.
“Uh… not really.”
“I am, aren’t I?”
“A bit. Everyone gets drunk, don’t worry about it.”
Why is he even trying to make him feel better?
“Yeah, but I drink and smoke every day. That’s more than everyone.”
Robert shrugs.
“You can do what you like.”
“Who says I like it?”
“Then why do you do it?”
“Oh, we're not close enough for me to tell you that, Sugden.”
Robert dumbly leans in, closer to him, until he can smell the Vodka on Aaron’ shaky breath.
“Not like that, you idiot. We’re not friends. Why would I tell you?”
“We’re not friends, but I’ve been taking care of you for a year now. You owe me at least a reasonable explanation.”
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
“But you need it.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and turns on his side with his back to Robert. The towel falls from his forehead.
Robert doesn’t even bother putting it back before he gets up and leaves the room, without turning off the light or looking back. Unlike usual.
Notes:
So I don’t know how many chapters this story will have-I guess around 10 or so? This was the first chapter so I’m just getting started, I hope you liked it :)
Also, I’d really appreciate it if you left comments at the end because I always read them and besides making my day, they motivate me to write. Constructive criticism is always welcome of course, please let me know if there’s something you’d like me to change about the story? Or how you want it to play out?
Please don't forget to leave Kudos :)
Thank you for reading :)
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Chapter 2: 2
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
Second chapter of the story, hope you like it!
! Updates will usually be on Sundays around 5pm UK time (that’s the timezone everyone knows) if I manage to get my shit together !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When Robert gets downstairs it looks like Ross took care of the cop situation without needing to bring the police in to see how many underage people were drinking. (Over 75% of them were.)
“How’s Aaron?” Finn asks when Robert joins them on the porch. Pete and Holly are there too now, but Robert doesn’t even acknowledge them.
“Good. Resting.” I guess. I don’t know. I don’t even care.
“Well Nick’s been looking for you. He finished the joint and I think he wants to hook up. Looked pretty horny.”
“If you see him will you just tell him that I went home? It’s past midnight and I’m not really feeling it.”
“I’ll come with.” Pete says.
“Alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright.”
Once they say goodbye to almost everyone they know they walk out of the house. It’s not that cold outside, so Robert takes out his cigarette pack and lights one up. Pete does the same, surprised to see Robert smoking.
Robert only smokes occasionally, when he’s either stressed or bored or sad. He doesn’t even know which case it is right now but he smokes it anyway.
“Did he… you know. Say anything about Holly and I?”
“Just that he knew she was cheating on him. And that he doesn’t care about her anyway. Not that she loves him or anything.”
“I hope you didn’t change your opinion about me.”
“I didn’t. It’s none of my business anyway.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything. It’s your life.” Robert shrugs and takes a drag.
They finish their cigarettes as soon as they reach their dorm building. They take the elevator up to their floor and Pete unlocks the door.
Robert showers and gets into bed, and when he checks his phone it’s already past one in the morning. The frat parties usually last longer than that because people don’t get drunk so soon, but with the victory and all that everyone was too excited to think coherently. Or even think at all.
Robert isn’t really a big fan of football. Or ‘soccer’, as the Americans on the team call it. He isn’t a fan at all, actually. Or of sports in general.
He’s about to go to sleep when his phone buzzes. He knows it’s from Aaron.
Aaron Dingle: thanks for leaving :)
Robert doesn’t know whether Aaron is sarcastic or genuine, so he slides the phone back under his pillow without responding.
That’s the thing he absolutely hates about texting; the fact that he can’t really figure out what the person means. If he talks to someone face to face, he immediately knows what the person is thinking based on their actions, words, and intonation. But it’s so much harder through text.
He decides to sleep on it and not think about Aaron too much, because in the end he’s just a prick who graduates this year and doesn’t give a shit about anything.
-
Surprisingly enough, Aaron doesn’t wake up in his own vomit as per usual. He wakes up to the sun shining so bright he thinks he went blind, and a towel crumbled up beside his head.
He rubs his eyes and sits up with a pounding head.
“Fuck.”
Before he gets out of bed he checks his phone to see if Robert responded to his text. He didn’t.
After he takes a shower he goes downstairs into the kitchen and sits down at the bar, where Ross and Finn are eating breakfast, even though it’s past noon.
“Did I do anything last night?” he asks them while a pledge makes him a sandwich as usual.
“You wanted to kick Grimshaw’s ass, but then Robert took you upstairs.”
“Right.”
“What’s the deal with you two? I never understood why he keeps taking care of you when you’re drunk. You guys hate each other.”, Finn says with his mouth full.
“Well, he can’t stand me because I have too much fun annoying and pranking him.”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit childish?” Ross asks.
“Why do you like annoying him anyway? He’s a good lad.”
“Because he thinks he’s better than everybody else. Standing in his fancy dress shirts and writing everything down during lectures. And then he actually has the nerve to tell me during the third week of his freshman year that I drink too much and that it’s embarrassing.”
“He told you that?”
“Yeah, he did. I didn’t even ask him anything. If there’s one thing I don’t like, that’s people who stick their noses where they don’t belong. Who the fuck does he think he is?”
“And you actually hate him because of something that happened a year ago?”
“I don’t hate him per se, I just can’t stand him. When I’m sober, at least.”
With that, Aaron takes his sandwich and heads back to his room to take a nap so his headache would subside.
-
Robert is early to his lecture on Monday, and to say that he’s surprised to see Aaron Dingle already there with an annoyed expression on his face is an understatement.
“What’s wrong? Did you pass out in here last night?”
“Fuck you, Sugden.”
“You wish, Dingle.”
Robert sits down in front of him and opens his laptop, preparing for Mr. Winton’s lecture.
Ninety minutes later, the professor dismisses them.
“Robert Sugden and Aaron Dingle could you please come here for a second? I need to speak to you.”
“Great.” Robert mutters and stands up once the room starts clearing out. “What did you do?”
“What did I do? You keep yelling at me during lectures.”
“Because you won’t fucking stop with those legs of yours. You keep kicking my seat or propping your feet up like you’re three years old!” Robert protests as they walk down to the professor’s desk.
“Jesus, do you ever stop talking?”
Before Robert can reply, Mr. Winston interrupts them.
“I didn’t hold you back after the lecture because you’re fighting during class or because you’re not paying attention. I asked you to stay a few minutes to discuss the fact that Aaron-“
“So it is your fault.” Robert points out, turning his head to look at Aaron.
“Let me finish. Aaron, you have the worst grades in my class, and if you keep it up like this I will have to fail you. Which means that you’ll have to retake your major, which means another four years.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve showed up to all courses-“
“If you don’t do the assignments I give out in class then it’s useless for you to show up.”
“What do I have to do with anything?” Robert asks, trying not to look too smug about the situation Aaron is currently in.
“You have the best grades in my class, so I thought-“
“No.” they say at the same time.
“Would it really be so bad if you’d spend one hour a day together to revise and study? This way, Aaron will pass my class and graduate, and Robert will earn extra credit.”
Robert bites his lip. Extra credit does sound good and it wouldn’t hurt him. But spending one additional hour with the disaster that is Aaron Dingle probably would. Where would they even study? At Robert’s place? At Aaron’ place? The library?
“So there is really no other option for me to pass this class?” Aaron asks.
“Well, you could do the assignments and take the tests on your own, but that hasn’t worked so well for the past four years, right? You’re the only senior in a course that is meant for sophomores. I did everything I could.”
“Alright. I guess.” Aaron mumbles.
“Great. I’ll see you on Wednesday, don’t forget to write the paper that’s due next week!”
“I can’t fucking believe it. Like I don’t have anything better to do than spend one hour a day out of my own personal free time with you.” Aaron says once they’re outside the lecture hall and heading for the exit.
“Look, I’m not into the idea either, but you obviously need the help and I could use extra credit. So it works for the both of us. Also, I hope you don’t expect me to write your homework for you or something, because that won’t happen.”
“Fine.” Aaron rolls his eyes. “Where will we even study?”
“How about the library?”
“I can’t. I’m bDianed from there.”
“How can you be bDianed from the library? You’ve probably never even been there!”
“Yes, I have. It was last year and I took Holly there and-“
“Please don’t tell me you had sex in the library-”
“We had sex in the library.”
“And that you got caught.”
“And we got caught.”
“Jesus.”
“At least I have a crazy sex story.”
“Oh wow, that makes you so much better than me.” Robert responds sarcastically.
“This is the part where you tell me your craziest sex story.”
“Oh, we’re not close enough for me to tell you that, Dingle.”
“Touché.”
Robert gives him a fake smile and stops once they get outside because Aaron is lighting up a cigarette while looking at him questioningly.
“What?”
“So where are we meeting up? And when?”
“At what time do you have football practice?”
“From five ‘till seven.”
“I’m free at seven. You can come over to my dorm?”
“How about you come over to the frat house?”
“Um, won’t there be, like, big noise?”
“We don’t party on Mondays.”
“Alright.”
“Be there around seven thirty.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and I won’t pay you for your tutoring lessons, by the way.”
“I didn’t even think you would.”
-
“I’m going over to the frat house later.” Robert tells Pete later that afternoon as they walk home together from their last lecture of the day.
“Why?”
“I’m tutoring Aaron Dingle as of today.”
“Whoa, really?”
“Winston said that if he doesn’t get a tutor a.s.a.p. he’ll have to retake his major. Which means four more years of college. Although I don’t think he’d mind.”
Pete shakes his head. “I never understood why you two couldn’t get along. I mean, you’re in the same circle of friends and yet you can’t stand each other.”
“Because he’s an asshole! All he does all day is sit around, drink, and then show up to classes once in a while if he’s not too busy playing footie. And after he does all that, he thinks he’s in the position of judging everyone because he’s team captain and president of the frat house. You know what he told me last year during a lecture? That I should loosen up and stop being such a kiss ass to the professor because we’re not in eight grade anymore. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s five feet tall and has a big mouth, that’s all there is to him.”
“But you always take care of him at parties, even though no one asks you to.”
“I know. But I can’t help that I’m a nice person, even to the most insufferable people. Besides, sometimes it can get boring at parties.”
Robert is glad that Pete doesn’t mention his past record with alcohol.
“That’s because you haven’t found yourself a lad to hook up with yet. There’s a guy on the lacrosse team who recently came out and he’s kind of cute. Jake?”
“I thought you guys hated the lacrosse team.”
“Yeah, but a girl in Sophia’s sorority is good friends with a girl who’s dating Jake’s best friend. News travel fast around campus.”
“Pete. Just because two guys are gay doesn’t mean that they’re immediately attracted to each other.”
“Are you attracted to me?”
“What?”
Robert is so surprised by the question that his keys fall out of his hand before he can even open the door.
“Seriously. I always wondered. If I were gay, would you ever, like, hook up with me?”
“No?” Robert laughs, opening the door and stepping inside their dorm.
“Oh, come on, why not?”
“Because I’ve known you since I was little! It would be too weird. You’re like my older brother.”
“Ugh, alright. I guess.”
Robert takes his psychology books from the desk and stuffs them in his laptop bag together with a few highlighters and a notebook.
“Wait, if you were to choose a guy from our group of friends, who would you date?”
“Bye Pete!” Robert yells over his shoulder and slams the door behind him.
It’s exactly half past seven when he reaches the frat house. It’s dark and it’s cold, so Robert knocks on the door quite insistently, because there’s no doorbell.
A guy Robert thinks is called Danny opens the door.
“Hi, um, I’m here for Aaron? I’m supposed to be tutoring him.”
“We just got back from practice, he’s in his room.”
“Thanks.”
Robert closes the door after himself and walks upstairs. Aaron’ room is right above the entryway of the house, where that horrible-looking sheet is hanging from the balcony.
The door is cracked open, so Robert doesn’t knock before stepping in. Aaron isn’t in his room and he’s about to call his name when the door to the bathroom opens and Aaron walks out with a towel hung low on his waist.
Robert stares at his tattoos and abs for a second too long before he realizes it’s probably creepy. Definitely creepy.
“Uh.”
“Did I let you in?” Aaron asks and walks over to the closet.
“No. Danny let me in.”
Aaron doesn’t respond because he’s apparently too busy picking out some clothes.
“Wh- okay.” Robert stutters when Aaron drops his towel to put on his briefs.
He turns around and looks at the ceiling, waiting for Aaron to finish.
“You can turn around now, Jesus.”
Robert does as Aaron tells him, and he’s somewhat disappointed to see that Aaron is now dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
“Alright so, um… where are we going to study?”
Aaron sighs and sits down at the edge of the bed, tapping the middle.
“Here.”
“Can’t we use your desk?”
“I don’t have two chairs. Can’t you sit on the bed?”
“I guess.”
Robert sits down on the other side of the bed, and then takes out his laptop, writing utensils and notebook.
“So I guess we’ll start with the beginning of this year? Actually, do you have any clue about what we spoke last year?”
“Well, I passed the exams so I guess I’m pretty okay with last year’s curriculum.”
“You’ve been taking the same class for two years, but alright.”
Robert opens his laptop and turns it on, and then looks at the posters hung on Aaron’ wall as he waits for the MacBook to start. His walls are filled with posters of Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson and David Beckham.
“You like David Beckham?” Robert asks, trying to make conversation.
“What kind of question is that? Of course I do.”
“I used to wank to his pictures when I was in sixth form.” Robert tells him, but immediately bites his lip.
“Why did you feel the need to tell me that?”
“Because- I don’t know. Forget I said anything. Let’s get to work.”
As if on cue, his laptop lights up so Robert can finally open up his psychology folder and start from the beginning.
The hour goes by quickly (for Robert at least), because Aaron is continuously breathing down his neck and always making snarky remarks right in Robert’s ear.
“Alright, so until next time-“
“Whoa, Sugden. You’re not giving me homework, are you?”
“No, I was just suggesting that you should re-read the passage I marked for you because that’s going to be in the next exam.”
“Alright, whatever, Sugden.”
Robert rolls his eyes as he gathers his things and stands up from the bed.
“Thanks, I guess.” Aaron mumbles and actually walks with him down the stairs and to the door. “I actually understood the whole history thing and the Gestalt psychology or whatever.”
“Right. Well. See you.”
Robert awkwardly turns around to leave and Aaron closes the door behind him, almost hitting him in the back.
-
That wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, Aaron thinks and sits down on the couch in the living room with a bottle of beer in hand. Some of the boys are watching a football game, others are playing pool, and the rest are probably out.
“So what’s the deal with Sugden?” Bryan, a junior, also known as the guy who usually helps Aaron flawlessly execute his pranks, asks with his eyebrows raised at him.
“Nothing. He’s just tutoring me in Psych.”
“Why did you even take that class if you’re studying to become a drama teacher?”
“It sounded easy and I needed one more class for credits, so I picked psychology because it seemed the easiest one. Turns out, it’s not.” Aaron tells him and takes a big swig from the beer.
“That blows.” Bryan laughs, not seeming to care that Aaron was in serious danger to actually have and repeat his entire major.
“It does, and not even in a good way. I’m in deep shit, man.”
“Wanna smoke about it?”
Aaron looks around to see if he can find Ross, but when he doesn’t spot him he nods at Bryan and they walk upstairs. If there’s one thing Aaron knows how to do best it’s avoiding his problems and running from reality.
-
His phone buzzing in his pocket interrupts Robert’s shift at the restaurant the following evening, after his first tutoring session with Aaron.
U comin 2 the game?, Pete’s text reads.
No, I’m busy at the restaurant. Robert replies and pockets his phone away, returning to his job.
He really shouldn’t be surprised when three hours later, at eight pm sharp, an entire team of footie players and cheerleaders invade the restaurant with loud cheering and happy chatter.
Robert sighs and goes in the back to tell Ross that they have new clients and that he’s going to need his help on this one. The entire team and the cheerleading squad occupy the last four tables in the back.
“You take the team, I’ll take the cheerleaders.” Ross tells him as he grabs a few menus.
Robert sighs but agrees anyway. His shift is supposed to end in an hour so that he could finally go home and take a shower, but it looks like he’ll be staying a bit over schedule because of the (probably) big win.
He doesn’t even know how he’s going to open the conversation as he walks over to the table with ten menus.
“Hey, I’ll be your waiter for the evening.”
Some of the guys on the team greet him, and Robert awkwardly shakes their hand.
“What would you like to drink?” he asks and takes out his pen and notepad.
They order three beers, four cokes, a lemonade, a coffee, a tonic water, and an Absolut Black Russian, which, of course, came from Aaron.
Robert knew he could get away with actually giving him an alcoholic beverage, but he didn’t want to give him a 250ml drink that contained 40% alcohol at eight in the evening.
“May I see an ID?” he finds himself asking after Aaron places his order.
“Excuse me?”
“I need an ID in order to serve you an alcoholic drink. Restaurant policy.”
Aaron’ face turns into a frown and he changes his order to a beer.
“If it’s restaurant policy, then how come you can serve us beer?” Aaron asks him a few minutes later when their conversation is loudly flowing, and no one really pays attention to Robert.
Robert doesn’t give him an answer as he places the drinks in front of each of them. He knows Aaron is insistently staring at his face and that he probably wishes he could kill Robert just from looking at him.
“Have you decided on the food yet?” Robert asks, ignoring Aaron completely.
Once all of them order, Robert retrieves back into the kitchen and sits down on a chair after he places the order on the counter.
Ross walks up to him a few minutes later after he placed his order too, and asks Robert if he’d like to go outside for a smoke. Robert accepts and follows him out the back, where they both light one up with Ross’s lighter.
“We’re going out with the team after this.” Ross tells him after a few moments of silent smoking. “Aaron told me.”
“I’m sure he told you specifically because it’s invite only.”
“It’s not with an invite.” Ross laughs as he lets out a smoke. “And if it is, then I’m inviting you. And Pete or Finn or Kerry probably would’ve a bit later.”
Robert sighs. “Alright, where are we going?”
“Well, first everyone is going home to shower and change out of their uniforms, and then we’ll meet up in front of LIT at half past ten, because we’ve got reservations at eleven.”
“Am I even on the list?”
“They called for two booths of twelve so I think you’ll be alright.”
Robert nods and they return to being silent as they smoke, waiting for the food to be ready so they could finally go home after four hours of uninterrupted work.
The team and the squad finally clear out an hour and a half later, after everyone paid for their meal and ate every last bit of food from their plates.
It’s ten o’clock sharp when Robert gets back to his dorm, with his shoulders hunched and out of breath from running the past half-mile home. He knows he won’t have time to shower, dress up, and be at the club on time, but he tries anyway.
Pete probably went to Sophia’s right after, since he wasn’t in the dorm even after Robert comes out of the shower and starts getting dressed.
He’s about to call himself a cab when his phone rings with an unrecognized number.
“Hello?”
“Someone from PROMIS Rehab Facility is trying to contact you. If you-“
Robert’s heart starts beating faster and he presses the red button on his screen violently. He knows who it is, and he also knows that he probably wouldn’t answer it in the near future. Or ever. He didn’t choose a Uni as far from England as possible just to let in the reason that made him run away.
He finally calls a cab and arrives at the club a few minutes after the specified time, but he can see his group standing in line so he makes his way over to them, pushing the thoughts of his childhood to the back of his mind.
Everyone is dressed up quite nicely, since the club is one of the best in the state (at least that’s what Pete always tells him when they go here), and most of the people there actually bother to say hello to him.
Aaron, who’s the nearest to the door, just turns his head to look at him indifferently without as much as saying a word to him.
“Whose name are we on this time?” Robert asks Finn, who’s standing next to him with an arm around Kerry.
Finn shrugs. “I don’t know, probably Nick’s as usual.”
Robert tries counting the people in their group, who turn out to be exactly twenty-four, and then prays that no one else is supposed to show up because then he’d probably be left out.
Just as they’re about to be next in line for entering, Holly shows up with disheveled hair and a sorry smile on her face.
“Sorry I’m late, I got caught up at work.”
Fuck, Robert thinks. Now I’m going to be that loser who has to go home because there aren’t enough places for me to join too.
“Hey, babe.” He hears Holly tell Aaron and then kiss his cheek. Aaron doesn’t really seem phased by it, and chooses to tell the bouncer that they have a party of twenty-four on Nick Grimshaw’s name.
Aaron waits for everyone to enter the club one by one so that he and the bouncer can count them.
“That’s twenty-two.” The buff guy tells him as he looks at the three of them. “So who’s not supposed to be here?”
Aaron looks at Robert, and then at Holly, who throws him an incredulous look, probably for even thinking about choosing between Robert and his own girlfriend. (Robert does the same.)
“Robert, c’mon.” Aaron says and Robert is taken aback by the three-word sentence.
“Wha- me?”
“Him?!” Holly asks, surprised and angry at the same time.
“He was here first. And he also didn’t cheat on me with four different guys in the span of two months.”
“But-“
“Sorry. See you around, El.”
“Does this mean we’re not together anymore?”
“Does it make a difference?” Aaron answers with a question before turning around and walking up the steps.
“Uh- sorry?” Robert says, unsure whether he should do a good deed and let her go instead of him, but then Aaron is calling his name and he finds himself hurrying up the stairs.
Holly lets out a loud huff as the bouncer crosses them off the list and leaves.
“That wasn’t necessary.” Robert tells Aaron while they’re walking down the long corridor to the coatroom.
“I know, but you looked like you could pass out at any moment because you thought you’d be left out.”
“So you actually did something to make me feel better?”
“Not really. She had it coming for weeks now.”
They leave their coats (well, Robert’s coat and Aaron’ varsity jacket) in the coatroom, and then enter the club through the double doors right at the end of the hallway.
The music hits them right in the face; a heavy bass combined with upbeat lyrics and thousands of flickering lights almost blinding them as they head over to their booth.
They sit down next to each other at the end of the couch where there’s little to no space, and they both place their cigarette packs and lighters on the table with the others.
Robert doesn’t even have time to tell Kerry that he’s going to get a drink and if she wants something, because Nick is already at their table, all smiles and cheeriness.
“Harold! Lewis! Finally!”
Aaron rolls his eyes but Nick ignores him, since he’s too focused on Robert.
“Let’s get drinks!” Finn yells so everyone can hear him over the music, and also to interrupt the awkward encounter.
Robert and Aaron get up from the table to follow Nick to the bar. He knows that if Nick wasn’t the only one who could actually get them into clubs and buy them drinks, Aaron would never EVER agree for him to hang out with them. He can’t stand him as it is.
They have to wait a few minutes to get to the bar because a lot of people are ordering, but once they do, Aaron goes ahead and orders a Cuba Libre for himself and a Long Island for Ross. Robert orders a Paloma cocktail because he doesn’t want to get too drunk tonight.
Aaron sits up on an empty barstool, completely ignoring the rest of them as he sips from his drink and waves Ross over to come and get his own.
“Everything alright?” Ross asks when he comes over, looking between Aaron and Robert. “Where’s Holly?”
Aaron shrugs as he drinks, quite quickly, looking at Robert as if he’s waiting for him to explain what happened.
“Uh… as you saw… Holly came a bit too late and Aaron decided to let me in instead of her because she’d been lying to him about sleeping with other guys. I don’t know.”
Ross looks between the two of them with a knowing look that Robert doesn’t understand, before he turns to Aaron.
“Shit, man, you alright?”
Aaron shrugs. “Never really cared for her anyway.”
“But you were together for over a year!” Robert loudly exclaims so Aaron can hear him over the music.
“So?”
“Why waste so much time on someone if you don’t love them anyway?”
“Why waste so much time on your hair if it looks like shit anyway?” Aaron shoots back and gets down from the stool, leaving.
“He’s a bit.. cranky. Don’t mind him.” Ross tells Robert once Aaron has disappeared God knows where.
“I’m used to him, it’s fine. I don’t care.”
Ross throws him an ‘oh-but-I-know-you-do’ look, waits for a few more seconds to spot Aaron, and then proceeds to walk away.
Robert shakes his head and grabs his drink so he can head back to their booth and find someone to dance with.
It’s only two hours later when it’s past midnight, that Pete approaches Robert when he’s at the bar, ordering his third Paloma. He places a hand on Robert’s bicep and yells in his ear:
“Jake is here! Do you want to meet him?”
Robert turns around with his cocktail in hand.
“Jake, as in the captain of the lax team?”
“Yeah. They’re over there in that booth if you want to introduce yourself.”
“Seems a bit desperate, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know. Well, I did my part of the job.” Pete smiles. “I have to go find Sophia now and take her home. She’s smashed.”
Speaking of smashed, Robert thinks, looking around for Aaron, who has to be here somewhere. As he’s searching for Aaron through the crowd (it’s become a habit to look for him while out drinking), he realizes that it’s not even that hard to find a five foot seven man in a dark crowd. Ha.
Robert makes involuntary eye contact with that Jake guy, who winks and sits up, in order to, apparently, walk over to him.
“Shit.” Robert mutters and quickly downs the rest of his cocktail.
“Hey.” The guy says and sits down next to Robert, on the empty stool.
“Hi.”
“Fancy a drink?”
“Not really, but thanks.”
Robert can feel that he’s already tipsy, maybe a bit too much, but he’s got a lot more confidence than he should have under the circumstances. But Jake is a good-looking guy and his hand is on Robert’s thigh, so who’s Robert to complain? He hasn’t gotten laid in over three months, and that’s quite a lot if you ask him.
Jake orders a Vodka Soda (ugh), and then begins talking to Robert about his lacrosse team and how he came from Germany all the way to Florida (his name used to be Jakob). Robert’s not really listening if he’s being honest; he’s just staring at Jake’s lips, too caught up in how good they look when they move to notice that Jake realized his mind was somewhere else.
“You alright?” Jake asks, smirking.
“You have really nice lips.” Robert finds himself saying, and before he can apologize or take it back, those lips are on his and there’s a hand on his hip.
Robert opens his mouth wider because he’s pretty horny when he’s tipsy (depends on the company actually), and gets down from the stool to get between Jake’s legs.
Robert doesn’t even get the time to place his hands on Jake’s thighs, because they’re interrupted by a surprised scream.
“Dear God, my eyes!”
Robert pulls away from Jake to look at a slurry Aaron, who is stumbling his way over to them.
“Harold, I knew you were a shitty person, an utter loser, but making out with the captain of the lacrosse team? LACROSSE? That’s low even for you.”
Robert never understood what it was that made the footie players hate the lacrosse team.
“No one asked you, Dingle. Go be a fuckin’ loser somewhere else.” Jake says and turns to properly look at Aaron.
Robert doesn’t have a good feeling about what’s going on, but before he can actually intervene and tell Aaron to go away, Aaron continues the argument.
“And this comes from the captain of a team that can’t even win a game. Funny that.”
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you from all the way down there.” Jake responds.
“Excuse me?”
Robert begins to panic when Aaron pulls the sleeves of his button up all the way to his elbows.
“What the fuck did you say?” Aaron asks, coming closer. So close, Robert can literally feel the heat radiating from his body and the anger that’s building up inside of him.
“I said that I can’t hear you all the way from down there.”
Jake gets up from the stool so he’s towering over Aaron, having an obvious advantage.
“You use your height to gloat so you can mask up the fact that you have the smallest dick on campus?” Aaron asks, getting all up in his face, it almost looks ridiculous.
Jake pushes Aaron away so that he almost falls down on his ass.
“Robert was about to find out.” Jake replies and winks at Robert, who’s not impressed at all. If he could, he would just walk away, but he knows Aaron is way too drunk and Jake is way too strong for this to come out good for Aaron.
“You wish.” Aaron spits.
“Well, your girlfriend found out a while ago, so I think-“
Jake doesn’t get to finish the sentence because there’s a fist in his face and he stumbles back, hitting his back against the bar. When he stands up straight and swings a punch in Aaron’ direction, Robert knows this isn’t going to come out good for neither of them.
Notes:
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Chapter 3: 3
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
Third chapter of the story, hope you like it!
! I decided to post on Saturdays around 5pm UK time from now on so you guys can read it over the weekend !
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!! Also, this hasn't been beta'd yet so I apologize in advance for any mistakes !!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jake’s fist hits Aaron straight in the jaw, and causes him to stumble backwards until he falls on his ass. Aaron doesn’t waste any time though, because he’s up in a split of a second in spite of his current state of drunkenness, and lunges forward.
People have started noticing, and there is already a little circle forming around the three of them.
“Did you just punch me in the fucking nose?” Aaron yells right as he knocks Jake over on the floor next to the bar.
He begins throwing punches left and right, and at one point Robert is sure he heard Jake’s nose crack, even over all the screaming and the music.
Robert knows he’s got little time left to get out of his shocked state and break them apart before security comes and hurls them out, which will end in one of two ways: they’ll either end up spending the night in jail for underage drinking and causing a public disturbance, or they’ll end up spending the night in the hospital.
“Aaron!” Robert yells, finally stepping towards them and trying to get him off of Jake. “Stop it! You’re drunk-“
“Fuck off!”
Robert doesn’t even get the time to actually pull Aaron away, because there’s a fist in his face and then a few more people join the brawl. Robert recognizes a few of them as being on the lacrosse team.
This is NOT going to end well, Robert thinks as he presses a hand against his cheek and bleeding lip. The punch wasn’t that bad, and there’s no bleeding, thank God.
The next thing he knows, Ross, Finn, and the rest of the footie team join Aaron in beating up the lax team. It all goes to hell when a few of the cheerleaders start with punches and hair pulling against the girls that probably came with the lacrosse team.
Robert tries once again to pull a bloody-knuckled Aaron away from a bloody-faced Jake, but it’s too late because that’s when about ten bodyguards invade their space and elbow their way to the middle of the fight, screaming and yelling out orders.
The buffest of them grips into the back of Aaron’ collar and literally pulls him off the ground with such a force Robert is certain he could be strangled. The guy then hoists Jake up, wraps his arms around each of their waists and lifts them up over his shoulders.
“That’s fuckin’ incredible,” Finn says as Ross and he are pulled by their arms out of the club. Robert feels someone push him forward, and realizes that he’s also being escorted out of the club with everyone who participated in the fight.
When they get outside, there are about twenty football and lacrosse players, as well as some girls from the cheerleading squad and girlfriends, who are being pushed against several police cars with their hands behind their backs. Everyone, including Robert, is currently being pushed against the door of a police car and handcuffed.
“We’re fucked,” he tells Ross when they’re in the police car with Finn and Bryan.
“Tell me about it. Who’s going to come and bail us out?”
“I think we need to call coach,” Finn sighs from the front seat. “He usually bails us out if we ever get in trouble.”
Robert leans back into the seat and sighs.
This is going to be a long fucking night.
-
The ‘drunk tank’ of the local police department is a giant room with no windows, white walls, and long benches from the door all the way to the back. And of course, it reeks of alcohol and vomit, even though it’s clean.
Besides the two teams and their girlfriends/cheerleaders, Robert, and Ross, there are three more people in the tank with them. A middle-aged homeless man who fell asleep on the bench that was the farthest from the door, right across from Robert, a teenage girl with too many piercings and tattoos to even count, and a guy Robert knows because he often saw him around campus with a beer in hand.
The silence is agonizing, and the tension could be cut with a knife. Robert is sitting between Ross and Finn, who have bruised knuckles and disheveled hair. The worst are Aaron and Jake though.
Jake’s nose is definitely broken and the bleeding in his lip has been stopped by a tissue. A police officer comes in just a few minutes after they are brought in, and takes him to the infirmary to get his nose fixes and a few stitches.
Aaron is sitting next to Ross with a black eye, a cut lip, and bleeding knuckles. Robert’s never seen him like this, although he’s witnessed a few of his drunken fights.
The door opens and another police officer comes in with a Breathalyzer in hand. He lets them know that they’ll be in protective custody until every single one of them will blow a 0.06.
“Great. We’ll be in here until next year with Dingle,” a lacrosse player mumbles, which causes Aaron to jump up from the bench to fight him.
Ross holds him back and Aaron gives up the struggle eventually, right before the officer hands the Breathalyzer to Kerry and leaves.
They each blow into it, and of course Robert blows the lowest BAC (0,04) and Aaron the highest (0.15).
“You can leave, you know that?” Ross tells Robert as Aaron spreads out over the three of them on the bench, with his head on Finn’s lap, his bum on Robert’s, and legs over Ross’s.
“I know. But technically it’s my fault for getting us here.”
“How’d you get to that conclusion?”
“Well-“
“Don’t flatter yourself, Sugden. I didn’t start the fight because I was jealous.”
“I was about to say that I was partially at fault for not breaking it up,” he then turns to look at Ross, “And the officer said that all of us have to blow at least a 0.06 in order to get out of here.”
“If I hear you complaining I won’t hesitate to break your nose, too,” Aaron warns and turns on his back so he can properly look at Robert under half-opened eyes. It’s obvious that he’s a few minutes away from passing out, or vomiting, or both.
“If you keep being an asshole, I won’t hesitate to punch you in the balls.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Or what?”
“Or-“
“Jesus, you’re acting like five year olds!” Ross exclaims, interrupting them. “I’ve had enough of your bickering and constant fighting! Can’t you just get over the whole fucking sexual tension and fuck each other already?”
The entire room turns silent as Ross pushes Aaron’ legs off his lap and gets up so he can drunkenly stumble over to an empty bench.
“I’m with him on this one. You lads have some serious issues to clarify,” Finn agrees and follows Ross to the other side of the room, closer to the door.
Robert scoots farther away from Aaron so he can’t lie down on Robert’s lap.
“You’re shit,” Aaron complains and leans against the wall with his knees propped on the bench and to his chest. He leans his forehead against his kneecaps and closes his eyes.
“This is horrible.”
“Then maybe you should stop drinking so much.”
“Maybe you should mind your own business.”
“You’ve been my business for over a year now.”
“For the last time, no one ever asked you to ‘take care’ of me, alright? I can take care of myself.”
“Alright then. Don’t come looking for me the next time you’re piss drunk and need someone to carry you upstairs.”
“I never came looking for you, you’re full of shit.”
“I think you’re the one that’s full of shit, that’s why your ass is so b-“
“Don’t even dare finishing that sentence.”
“-big.”
Aaron shakes his head and ignores Robert for the rest of the night.
-
Well, not quite the rest of the night, because not even an hour later, Aaron wakes up (God knows how he managed to sleep curled up like that against the wall) with a groggy voice and a confused state.
“When are we getting out?” he asks and looks around to see that almost everyone has fallen asleep, in spite of the fluorescent light coming from the neons above. Almost everyone. Finn and Kerry are making out on an empty bench, one of the lacrosse players is fixing his hair in the mirror and Robert is currently drawing shapes into the ground with his finger as he lays down on the bench with his knees to his chest.
“When your BAC falls to 0.06.” Robert informs him and sits up next to him.
“My head is pounding. I think I’m going to throw up soon.”
“Turn your head in the other direction please. I’m not in the mood for your vomit right now.”
“Are you ever in the mood?”
“Just…shut up please.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and lets his legs back down on the ground, stretching and yawning.
“What time s’it?”
“Half past two.”
“In the morning?”
“No, afternoon you idiot.”
“Your sarcasm isn’t appealing to me at all.” Aaron lets him know as he stands up and stretches his arms over his head.
“I don’t even want it to be. Stop assuming that I’m flirting with you just because I’m gay and you’re remotely good looking.”
“So you admit that I’m good looking?”
“Dear God,” Robert deeply sighs and looks away from Aaron before he gets the urge to stand up and actually strangle him.
“What are you doing?” he finds himself asking when he sees Aaron heading towards the door.
“I need someone to put ice on my knuckles otherwise my fingers are going to fall off. Fucking hurts.”
Robert gets up and follows him to the door.
“What are you doing?” Aaron mocks his previous question as he insistently knocks on the door.
“I’m coming with you. My lip is going to fall off. Fucking hurts,” Robert mocks him right back, and Ross may have been right - they are acting like five year olds.
An officer finally comes, asking them what they want.
“Can we see a doctor? Our wounds need immediate assistance.”
The man analyzes them from head to toe, before he asks them to follow him and behave. He leads them to the first floor and knocks on a white door that reads ‘FIRST AID ASSISTANCE’.
A woman opens the door and invites them in. The officer leaves them there, but not before advising them to head right back to the tank once they’ve gotten their medical care.
Aaron and Robert sit down next to each other on the bed in the corner of the room as they wait for Dr. Hudson (the nametag reads) to apply some stiches and ice.
She takes care of Robert first, since his injuries are only a giant bruise on his cheek and a cut lip that has stopped bleeding a while ago.
She puts some lotion on the clot and then a small bandage. A pack of ice is given to him so he can hold it against his cheek until she’s finished with Aaron.
Dr. Hudson does the same treatment to Aaron lip like she did to Robert’s, and then tells Robert to hold ice on Aaron’ knuckles and occasionally alternate with his free hand while Aaron holds a pack of ice to his eye.
They get back to the tank and sit down on their bench with their thighs touching so they can do just what the nurse advised. It’s weird because they’re not talking yet they’re touching and looking at each other as they do.
“So thi’ i’ weird.” Robert says with difficulty caused by the bandage on his lip.
“It i’.”
“Your face i’ fuck’ up.”
“Ju’t like your’ i’ every day.”
“Hah hah,” Robert sarcastically replies and rolls his eyes. If he had a penny every time Aaron Dingle has caused him to roll his eyes, he would be an eyeless millionaire.
His cheek begins to feel numb after a while so he leaves the pack of ice on the floor and leans back against the wall when Aaron does the same because his knuckles can’t take the cold anymore.
So that’s how Robert falls asleep, with his back against the wall and an ice pack resting at his feet.
-
Someone’s loud talking wakes him up, and once he blinks his eyes completely open, he sees that the officer is back in the tank with the Breathalyzer and testing it on everyone.
Aaron is asleep with his head in his lap and his knees curled up to his chest, lightly snoring. Robert doesn’t hesitate to slap his cheek so he can wake up.
“What the-?” Aaron says and sits up, rubbing the right side of his face. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
“We need to wake up. They’re checking our BAC.”
Aaron groans but stands up nonetheless, stretching his arm and torso. The police officer hands each of them a breath mint after they take the test and successfully pass.
Robert scores a 0.1 and takes his mint, before checking the watch on the wall that points to almost four in the fucking morning. After Aaron blows into the machine, the officer checks the results.
“That’s 0.6. You’re free to go. But next time don’t start fights in clubs that you know are going to end badly.”
Aaron nods and takes a breath mint.
It’s only when Robert is in a police car that’s headed back to the dorm that he realizes his coat was left back at the club. He wants to call Pete, but his phone is also in his coat.
He can only hope that Pete isn’t in a deep sleep or not in their dorm because he doesn’t have a key and he’d really like to get some sleep before classes start at ten.
Once he’s out of the car, after thanking the officer for driving him and two other girls to the dorm building, he’s walking to the elevator with big steps, wishing he could just lay down and sleep right there on the floor.
As expected, once he reaches his dorm, no one answers, even after five minutes of continuous knocking and hushed yelling.
“Fuck.”
He doesn’t know what he could do, but after a few minutes of drastically thinking, he comes to the conclusion that his only option is trying the frat house with the hope of maybe sleeping on the couch.
So he deeply sighs and starts walking, not too pleased by what he’s about to do.
The frat house is (surprisingly) quiet when he gets there, and he’s even more surprised when someone actually opens the door after just a few knocks. It’s Ross, who’s already dressed in what Robert supposes are his pajamas, and doesn’t even seem the least bit annoyed to see Robert in front of their door at half past four in the morning.
“Hi.”
“Hey, Robert.”
“So um, this might seem a bit weird, but can you by any chance let me sleep on the couch? Or wherever because my roommate-Pete, he’s on the footie team, accidentally forgot to leave the door open for me so…I need a place to sleep tonight. Or morning. Whatever.”
“Don’t be stupid man, you can bunk in Aaron’ bed.”
“Why not in yours?” Robert finds himself asking.
Why the fuck would a normal person ask such a question? It’s enough that he’s being allowed to stay in the frat house, in an actual BED, but of course he always has to be an idiot and ask further questions that don’t put him in such a good light.
“Because I already let a pledge sleep in here since there are two girls in his bed already passed out. Kind of sad for the guy.”
“Alright then. I guess I’ll go to Aaron’. Thanks though.”
Robert follows Ross upstairs and after saying goodnight, he’s off towards Aaron’ room, not really wanting to know what is waiting for him there.
A semi-hungover Aaron who’s laying on the bed on his stomach with his phone in his hand is apparently waiting for him when he gets there.
“What are you doing?” Aaron asks as Robert closes the door, and then turns off the light so the lamp on the bedside table can light up the room.
“I’m sleeping in here tonight.”
“Like fuck you are. Don’t you have your own dorm? Or are you in love with me or something?”
“Okay. First, Pete forgot that I was coming home after him so he fell asleep and couldn’t open the door. And second, don’t flatter yourself. I might be gay, but that’ll never happen.”
“Yes it would. I bet you’ve thought of fucking me before.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. You’re better when you’re drunk.”
Aaron sighs and rolls on his back, eyes still glued to his phone. Robert toes off his shoes and walks over to the bathroom to wash his hands.
When he comes back into the room, Aaron is stripped down to his boxers and sitting against the headboard, still typing on his phone.
Robert doesn’t ask who he’s chatting with; he chooses to grab Aaron’ cigarette pack and lighter from the desk, and then goes to the balcony door.
“What are you doing?”
“Smoking?”
Aaron doesn’t say anything else, he just returns to his phone, so Robert walks out on the balcony and leans against the railing.
Robert lights up his cigarette and doesn’t even get to take two proper drags when he hears Aaron join him. He turns his head to see Aaron wrapped up in a blanket and standing next to him with bare feet.
“Aren’t you cold?”
Aaron ignores him and takes a cigarette out of the pack, and then the lighter.
“You shouldn’t smoke.” Robert tells him.
“Isn’t it funny how usually the people who tell you not to smoke because it’s bad for you have a cigarette between their lips?”
“I guess.”
There’s a short silence after that, until Robert breaks it.
“Life is funny.”
“Oh Jesus Sugden, please don’t start with the 4 am deep talk bullshit.”
“Stop calling me Sugden.”
“That’s your name isn’t it?”
“That’s what the teachers call me, not my friends.”
“So we’re friends now? Since when?”
“Sort of.”
Aaron doesn’t reply.
He probably doesn’t know what else to say, Robert thinks as he takes a long drag.
“I don’t think friends are supposed to want to fuck each other.”
Robert looks at Aaron surprised.
“You want to-“
“Oh you know what I mean.”
“I thought you were straight.”
“I am.”
“You don’t make sense at five in the morning.”
“Well you never make sense.”
Robert finishes his cigarette a few seconds after that and doesn’t wait for Aaron to do so too, and he goes back inside and locks the door to the balcony.
“Seriously?” Aaron asks, annoyed. “Are you five?”
Robert shakes his head and crosses his arms, just for the sake of it.
“When I get inside I swear to God I’m going to punch you so hard that people are going to call you Smurf.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?”
“Open the fucking door.”
“Or what?”
Robert opens the door nonetheless, and Aaron comes in with an angry expression on his face.
“You’re a fucking idiot. I almost froze my balls off.”
“What balls?”
Aaron steps forward and pushes Robert with a lot more force than expected.
“What are you trying to do?” Robert laughs and Aaron pushes him once more, until Robert falls on his ass on the bed.
“I’m trying to fight you.”
“You’re really cute when you’re angry.” Robert tells him, knowing it annoys the fuck out of Aaron.
“Don’t fucking dare to call me cute when I’m-fuck!”
Aaron tries to punch him but Robert catches his wrist and stands up from the bed, turning Aaron around with his arm to his back.
“What are you saying? I can’t hear you all the way from down there.”
Aaron turns around quickly and punches Robert in the chest.
“You can’t fight me, you’re like miniature.”
“Don’t quote an Ashton Kutcher movie to me while I’m angry!”
“Are you done? Because I’m tired and I’d like to get some sleep before classes start.”
“You’re not sleeping in my bed, that’s for sure.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure what I might do to you in your sleep.”
“I didn’t know you were into that type of sex.”
“That’s not what I meant! You can sleep on the floor.”
“Alright.” Robert says but gets into the bed nonetheless after taking off his shirt and jeans, and pulls the duvet up to his shoulders.
“Get out.”
“No.”
“Get the fuck out of my bed.” Aaron repeats, dropping his blanket and pulling the duvet off of Robert.
“Make me.”
Aaron lets out a huff and wraps his fingers around Robert ankles, trying to pull him off the bed.
“Let me know when you’re done. I’ll just go to sleep in the meantime.”
“You’re the most annoying asshole I know.”
“So you haven’t gotten to know yourself yet?”
Aaron gives up because it’s just not worth it.
He walks around the bed until he gets to his side that’s always on the right, and gets in. He doesn’t, however, forget to pull the duvet away from Robert and take it all to himself.
“My bed my rules.”
“Sure,” Robert replies and pulls the duvet back to himself, almost flipping Aaron over and out of the bed.
“Can you be a little gentler please? I’m trying to sleep here.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“My bed-“
Robert turns on his side to face Aaron.
“Alright, alright, just shut the fuck up. I get it. Your bed, your fucking rules. Whatever. Just shut up and let me sleep because I have-actually, we both have class in less than five hours.”
Aaron doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t do anything else to annoy Robert, so Robert just lets him take half of the duvet and closes his eyes.
He finally falls asleep to Aaron’ erratic breathing and wakes up four hours later to Aaron slapping him over the face right after pouring cold water on his face.
Robert only gets out of the bed after he screams at Aaron and pushes him on the balcony to lock him out for ten minutes in the cold.
They’re friends. Sort of.
Notes:
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Chapter 4: 4
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
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Chapter Text
After the night in the drunk tank, Robert finds out that Pete had the decency to go back to the club in the morning, and even though it was closed, he managed to get the coats and personal belongings back to everyone.
Robert and Aaron don’t meet up for a study session the following week after the whole brawl incident, because Aaron has practice more often than usual, given the fact that they’re going to travel to Louisiana at the end of the week for the third game of the season to see if they will qualify to the quarter finals.
Which also means that the campus will be quieter than usual because the frat boys (except Ross and two more) will be out of town, as well as more than half of the sorority.
It all goes downhill, though, when Pete comes into their dorm on Wednesday, two days before leaving for Louisiana, all sweaty and smiling.
“What are you so smiley about?” Robert asks him and closes his laptop.
“Please don’t hate me.”
“Oh my God, what did you do?”
“Well. You know how the team photographer-Joshua something- got kicked out of school last year for not attending classes?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, coach just announced that we need a new photographer ASAP to come with us this weekend and take some shots for the paper-“
“No.”
“Robert.”
“No. Please tell me you did not sign me up just because I own a camera and because I once said that I’d like to be a photographer instead of a psychologist.”
“Well-maybe. It’ll be fun, come on! You’ll get your own room, all your expenses are paid, and you get to come party with us after the win!”
“And what if we lose?”
“We can’t afford to think like that right now. If we lose this game, then we won’t qualify for the USA College Cup. Come on Robert, pleaseeee?”
“Alright, alright,” Robert says.
“Yes, you’re the best! I’ll let coach know tomorrow at practice. We leave on Friday at ten so we can be there at six for dinner at the hotel restaurant.”
“Sure.”
Pete is about to go in the shower, but Robert calls his name.
“Yeah?”
“You’re buying my drinks when we go out after the win though.”
“Deal.”
Robert smiles and opens his laptop to start on his psychology 101 paper that’s due next week, since he won’t get to write it this weekend.
-
On Friday, Robert wakes up to Pete shaking him repeatedly.
“What time ‘sit?”
“It’s half past seven, come on, you have to pack.”
“I thought we were leaving at ten.”
“We are, but it’s going to take some time for you to pack everything you have, and then for you to take a shower while I unpack everything you packed because you won’t need half the stuff.” Pete replies.
“Good point.”
Robert waits two more seconds before he finally gets out of his bed with a long sigh. Why did he even agree to everything?
Well, he didn’t agree to it per se, Pete didn’t really give him much of a choice. Nevertheless, he always has a good time with some players on the team.
Robert ends up packing half of his closet into his medium-sized suitcase, as per usual. He knows he probably won’t need four pairs of jeans and five t-shirts, but he always likes to be prepared. Ever since that one time about twelve years ago during summer camp when he accidentally packed only five pairs of underwear and - well, he’d rather not think about it.
Better safe than sorry, that’s what he always says, and so far it has worked just fine.
When he comes out of the shower, dressed in a pair of black jeans, and a simple white t-shirt, Pete has already finished unpacking and re-packing his suitcase for him. He’s been doing that ever since Robert wanted to bring three suitcases last year for spring break in Miami.
“Thanks.”
“Always.”
After that Pete goes to shower and Robert tries to write a few more words on his paper that’s only half done. He’ll probably fall behind on it, so he wonders how Aaron must be doing with it.
Does Aaron even know we have a paper due next week? Jesus.
He plans on asking Aaron about it when they get on the bus. Even though he’s never travelled with Aaron anywhere (not even on spring break. Aaron went home last year), Robert knows Aaron is the type of guy who sits in the very back of the bus with a few more boys who laugh and make dirty jokes so loud everyone, even the driver, hears them.
Pete comes out of the shower a few minutes later, looking really happy (Robert doesn’t even want to think about what went on in the shower during those fifteen minutes), and after he zips his suitcase shut, he tells Robert they can fetch McDonald’s breakfast just in time.
Although Robert isn’t much of a McDonald’s fanatic, he agrees because his stomach is growling and he knows Pete probably won’t like the idea of them getting expensive drinks and food from Starbucks.
They head to McDonald’s with their suitcases in hand, and even though it looks ridiculous, they’re both starving and all they care about is getting some food in their mouths.
Robert orders a McFlurry and a Happy Meal, and he knows it must look ridiculous for a six foot tall man to order off the kid’s menu, but that’s the only thing he actually likes from McDonald’s. Unlike Pete, who orders two BigMac’s and a large portion of fries with coke on the side.
They sit down at the first table they see and eat everything they ordered in a matter of minutes. Pete waits for him once they’re done so he can wash his hands, and then they’re back on their way to the parking lot next to the stadium, where they’re supposed to meet up with the rest of the team.
The first one who spots them is of course Aaron, who immediately exclaims his unpleasant surprise to see Robert there with a suitcase in hand.
“You didn’t know he was coming?” Pete asks.
“No, I did not.”
“Coach said that at least three times during practice this past week.”
“Well I failed to hear it.”
“Couldn’t hear all the way down there?” Robert asks and Aaron grits his teeth.
“Oh what a pleasant weekend this will be.” Coach says from a few feet away, where he’s chatting with Finn and Bryan.
“So what is he doing here anyway?”
“He’s going to be our photographer this year.”
“What?” he and Aaron ask at the same time.
This year? Robert certainly didn’t agree on a whole year of photographing the football team.
“That wasn’t-“
“Yeah he knows. And he’s excited about it,” Pete interrupts him, placing a hand on Robert’s shoulder.
Robert throws him a confused look but Pete squeezes his shoulder, so he just smiles and nods.
It’s only a few minutes later that they pile into the bus and Robert ends up sitting in the back, on the same row with Finn, Pete, and of course, Aaron.
Ross isn’t coming with because (a.) he’s not on the team, and (b.) apparently he has a paper due Monday and he can’t risk not writing it.
It’s pretty unfortunate that Robert ends up between Aaron and Finn, because Aaron and Bryan apparently both want to sit next to the window and Finn has something important to talk to Bryan about.
Robert tries ignoring Aaron for the majority of the trip, but he snaps when Aaron doesn’t turn down his loud annoying music while Robert is trying to read his book.
He taps Aaron on the leg, which makes him look up at Robert, without taking out his earbuds.
“Can you turn down the volume? Not everyone likes your rock music.”
“WHAT?” Aaron loudly asks, just so he can annoy Robert.
“Turn down the music!” Robert repeats, this time louder, and he’s sure Aaron can hear him by now.
Aaron shrugs and points to his ear, not doing as Robert asked. So it’s natural for Robert to snap and violently snatch the earbuds out of Aaron’ ears.
“What the actual fuck?”
“If you won’t turn down your music, I’ll do it for you.”
“Fuck you.”
“You wish.”
“No, you wi-“
“Sugden! Dingle! Is there something wrong?” Coach yells from the front of the bus, and everyone turns to look at them.
“He’s-“ Aaron starts but Coach interrupts him.
“Stop acting like five year olds and behave, or else I’ll move both of you here in front with me!”
Robert sighs and Aaron pouts, both of them leaning back into their seats with no other word. They really are behaving like children.
They end up in the front of the bus an hour later anyway, after Aaron tries stretching his legs out over Robert’s lap so he can sleep with his back against the window and Robert doesn’t like the idea at all.
The following two hours are spent in agonizing silence, listening to Coach and Mr. Hoover (the assistant coach) talk about game strategies and upcoming games, which is completely and utterly uninteresting - at least on Robert’s part.
They check in at Alexander Fulton hotel at five o’clock sharp, two people in a room, except for Robert, who gets his own double room all to himself.
At least one good thing came out of this whole ordeal, he thinks as he sits down on his king sized bed with his suitcase at the foot of the bed.
The bathroom isn’t much, but he doesn’t even need anything more than a shower and a toilet. He just needs a place to take a quick nap before the dinner that’s going to take place in the hotel restaurant at seven.
Before he lays down he picks his clothes for the dinner; a black button down to match his jeans and his white converse that he hasn’t worn in ages but for some reason Pete packed them.
After that he finally gets into bed and sets his alarm to ring in an hour so that he can get to dinner in time.
When he wakes up from his nap there is someone already knocking on his door, so he gets out of bed and makes a huge effort to walk all the way over there.
“Yeah?” he asks and is not at all surprised when he sees Finn and Aaron standing there, already dressed up.
“It’s five to seven, what are you doing? Coach will kill us if we’re late. He has a speech to deliver and he needs all of us to be at the table.”
“But I’m not on the team,” Robert replies and turns around to go and look for his clothes, leaving the door open.
“Thank God for that,” he hears Aaron mutter.
“I slept through my nap alarm.”
Robert ignores Aaron’ snarky comment completely and changes his shirt, then puts on his shoes. Five minutes later, they’re all on their way to the elevator to join the rest of the team for dinner.
Coach stands up after they all got their drinks and toasts to a new season that they’ll hopefully win, and after a long speech of crushing the other team’s balls and making them regret they were ever born, they order their food.
Two hours later, he’s surprised to see that none of the players actually intend to go out, instead they are all going to their rooms without any cheerleaders or girls on their arm.
“Why isn’t anyone in the mood for clubbing?”
“Everyone is in the mood for clubbing - trust me. But there’s a rule that says we can’t leave the hotel on the night before a game, or else we’ll be too tired or hungover for practice and the game,” Pete tells him while they’re on their way back to their rooms.
“Oh. Right.”
“You can go out though. You don’t have to show up to practice tomorrow.”
“Well I need to take photos for the paper, remember?”
“Anyway. See you tomorrow then, okay? Nine o’clock, breakfast.”
“Right. Goodnight.”
-
The next day is busy for the players and the cheerleaders, because they have practice after practice after practice, and the cheerleaders (although Robert still hasn’t figured out when soccer teams got cheerleaders - but hey, it’s college) need to perfect their routine.
Robert is sitting on the bench next to Coach, who has to take a small pause from yelling at Aaron to run faster and kick the ball to someone else once in a while. It’s useless, and Robert’s 100% sure Aaron drank last night, in spite of the pre-game no-fun rule.
Assistant coach Hoover took over for him, so Coach (Robert always wondered why no one ever called him by his first or last name - they always called him Coach) was drinking from a bottle that was already half empty, running his hand through his sweaty hair and complaining.
“Move your ass Dingle! Stop whining and pass the fucking ball to offense!”
Aaron does just that, but with no enthusiasm at all which doesn’t please Coach at all.
“May I ask you a question?” Robert asks and Coach turns his head to look at him.
“Sure.”
“If Aaron is so horrible at playing why name him captain? Why not Finn, or someone else more dedicated.”
Coach sighs. “That’s a question a lot of people have asked me over the years, ever since he applied for a scholarship.”
“Aaron is on a scholarship?”
Coach nods.
“I didn’t know that.”
“There are many things people don’t know about Aaron Dingle. You know why I chose him for the scholarship?”
Robert shakes his head, waiting for a short answer like ‘because I had no other choice’ or something like that, but the monologue that follows is unexpected.
“Every single year, three players leave while three join the team, one of them being here on a scholarship. It works like this; the dean of admissions manages the application letters and the two-page essays about why someone would want to attend FSU on a scholarship, and why they need said scholarship. Then he divides the sport scholarships from the rest of the applications, and hands them out to each division. It get about three hundred applications a year, from which I can only choose one.”
“And you chose Aaron?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t think he had a way with words.”
“He doesn’t. His envelope was the thinnest of all. He had the essay, hand-written, which is rare, his application form, his extremely short resume, and his recommendation letter from a teacher that didn’t even spell his name right.”
“So why’d you pick him?”
“The essay had to be two pages long with an answer to the question: ‘Why do you want a soccer scholarship’? Simple as that. Most of the people who applied wrote at least two pages on the computer, but Aaron wrote two words. ‘I don’t’.”
“That’s what he wrote? I don’t? Jesus.”
Robert thinks back on the embarrassing four-page long essay about why he wanted to get into college and study psychology. He wrote about his past, and why he wanted to understand people and their problems; basically everything about him. That’s why he got in; the dean of admissions probably took pity on him.
“I called him for an interview and I knew he was surprised about it. He obviously didn’t expect any of this. So he came all the way from Atlanta for an interview, dressed in a rented suit, which looked ridiculous now that I think about it. He told me about his childhood, how he lived in England until high school when his parents divorced but that’s nothing I should get into. Let me tell you something. I know that you and Dingle don’t get along because he’s got too much pride and you probably do too - I don’t know you. The interview is what made me pick him out of all the other kiss-ass applicants. I didn’t choose him out of pity or anything like that. I chose him because he spoke to me with such passion and motivation. He’s an ambitious one, but seems lazy because he only makes an effort for things he truly cares about. He knows that his scholarship will get annulled if he doesn’t pass his classes with at least a C, so that’s why he’s one of the few players who bother showing up to classes from time to time. He knows the world isn’t made out of sunshine and rainbows, and even though he doesn’t seem to, he tries, he really does, to take the team to the top.”
Robert is surprised, and completely speechless by what Coach just told him. He never expected to hear this about Aaron from anyone, let alone his soccer coach.
“That’s why I’m always focused on yelling at him and trying to determine him to make an effort. All the other guys are at their best when they play, so I don’t bother with them that much. But Aaron never gives everything he has, although he’s the best player on the team. I know him, I’ve known him for four years, and if he believed in himself as much as I believed in him, he’d be the one of the best.”
“Does he know you have this opinion of him?”
“Oh no. And I hope he never will. Because that’s why he keeps trying and pushing himself, and that’s all I need for him to do. I need to him realize how capable he is on his own. No one can make you the best but yourself. He doesn’t think much of himself, but he has faith in others. That’s why I made him captain, because even though he can’t motivate himself, he can motivate his team.”
Robert doesn’t say anything after that for a while, because he’s watching Aaron run after the ball across the field. His opinion of Aaron may just have changed a bit.
“He wants to be a drama teacher though, not follow the whole sport thing.”
“I know, I was disappointed when he told me. He can do so much more with his life, but I’m not here to make him into something he doesn’t want to be. I’m here to make him the best he can be on the field. Being the best he can be is up to him.”
“How can you make someone realize they amount to so much more than they know they’re capable of?”
“Oh you can’t. They need to know how much they’re worth on their own.”
Robert runs his fingertips over the top of his camera. He doesn’t know what else to say, so he’s really thankful when Coach gets up from the bench and walks back towards the field to yell some more.
He then begins to take photos of the team practicing, the cheerleaders rehearsing their routine, and he even gets a perfect shot of the Coach in mid-yell, when he scolds Aaron for missing a shot.
-
The game starts at six, and it’s not even thirty minutes in that the opposite team scores a goal. Coach is already running up and down the field swearing, and Robert can hear it all the way from where he’s standing at the corner of the pitch, even over the almost-full college stadium filled with Louisiana Wildcats supporters.
When the game reaches the 85th minute, Aaron calls for a time out and walks over to the benches together with his teammates, glancing at the scoreboard that shows 2-2.
Robert doesn’t hear what he tells his team, but he can see that everyone is nodding and getting worked up by whatever they’re hearing, so he takes a few photos.
When they return to the pitch and the whistle blows, the team plays like Robert’s never seen them play before. They score another goal in the last minute, and once a whistle announces the end of the game, the team and the cheerleaders invade the pitch, yelling and happily screaming for the qualification in the quarterfinals. It’s not as important as the winning of the final of course, but they’re moving towards it.
And Robert finds himself actually happy that he ‘volunteered’ to become the photographer for the team this season, because he enjoys seeing people happy about something they worked hard for.
-
They get back to the hotel at eight, and everyone is busy showering and getting dressed for celebratory drinks at the club a few blocks away.
Robert keeps his black jeans on but changes in a white V-neck and puts on way too much cologne than actually necessary.
He meets up with the rest of the group in the lobby at half past eight, and by nine they’re already in line to get into a club Coach made a reservation for.
They have a joined tab, which will be paid by the NCAA as a way to congratulate them for the qualification.
Robert feels strangely good about himself in the booth with the rest of the team, so he agrees to do a line of three Tequila shots each with them.
Aaron is the one who excitedly counts down each shot, and Robert can already feel himself buzzing when he throws back the third one.
Robert suddenly gets the urge to dance, so he follows a couple of the guys and girls towards the dancefloor, since a really upbeat Aoki song just started playing.
It’s not long before he finds someone to dance with; a tall blonde guy with his hair pulled up in a quiff who smells really good and apparently has no personal boundaries, judging by the way he’s holding Robert by the hips as he presses his chest to his back.
He kind of looks familiar, but Robert doesn’t ask about it. He’s taller than Robert, muscular, and he smells good, so who cares?
“What’s your name?” the guy asks into his neck, sending shivers up Robert’s spine.
“Robert.”
“I’m Jay. I saw you on the pitch today.”
“What?”
Robert turns around surprised, and now he remembers the guy. He’s a player from the opposite team.
“Photographing?”
“Oh…yeah. Nice…game.”
“Please. We sucked ass today.”
“Based on the way you’re touching me, I think you actually might like that.”
And wow, okay. Robert isn’t the flirty type at all, but it seems like Tequila has some sort of effect on him, since he gets a warm feeling in his gut and more courage to talk to Jay.
“How’d you figure?” Jay smiles and asks him if he wants another drink on him, so Robert follows him to the bar, hand in hand with him.
Jay orders a Vodka soda for both of them, and that’s when Robert knows he won’t get through the night without doing something even remotely sexual with this guy.
“So how come you’re out and about after such a bad game?”
“I’m not going to sit around and cry about it like the rest of the guys. We knew from the start that we wouldn’t win because Dingle is the best in college soccer by far. Has a really good ass too.”
“I know,” Robert finds himself saying before he takes a long sip.
“You think he’d be in for a threesome?”
“Uh…I don’t know. I don’t think he’s gay really.”
“Please. I’m not one for stereotyping, I mean, look at me, but judging by the way he walks and talks he’s at least bisexual or extremely feminine.”
“That’s rude.”
Jay shrugs and Robert is about to call him an asshole, but then the guy just leans forward and presses their lips together.
Robert is taken aback for a second, but responds to the kiss and soon enough he’s down from his stool and following Jay to the bathrooms.
Jay ends up on his knees then, and after giving Robert one of the best blowjobs of his life, he asks him if he wants to come back to his place.
“Uh…I don’t know.”
Even though he doesn’t want to admit it, Robert is thinking about who is going to take care of Aaron and make sure he gets back to the hotel in one piece, because he knows that by now, since it’s already been a couple of hours since they got to the club, he’s probably drunk and slurring into someone’s ear.
“Well, I can give you my number if you change your mind. The night’s still young.”
Robert nods and waits for Jay to type his phone number into his phone, and then they walk in different directions once they get out of the bathroom.
Almost everyone is back at the booth when Robert gets there, in different states of drunkenness. Aaron, as expected, is the drunkest out of them all, leaning over Finn and Kerry’s lap, mumbling something about wanting a bit of water and somewhere to lie down.
“I think it’s time we go,” Robert suggests and everyone agrees.
They pile into cabs this time, since the bus driver didn’t come with them to the club, and fifteen minutes later they’re in a queue by the elevators, waiting to finally go back to their room.
Finn takes Aaron to the room they share, and Kerry comes along with them, so Robert says goodnight and goes back to his room.
He takes his clothes off so he’s only in his briefs, and then goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth before he finally gets into bed.
He’s on his phone, texting with Ross, when someone knocks.
“Who is it?”
“Meeee.”
Robert sighs when he recognizes Aaron’ wasted voice, so he gets out of bed and pads over to the door to open it. Aaron is leaning against the doorframe, shirtless in just his tight skinny jeans.
“Hi,” Aaron says and walks in past Robert, wobbling and stumbling, all the way to Robert’s bed, where he slumps down on his back.
“Hi?”
After he closes the door, Robert goes to the bathroom to get him a glass of water. He’s a bit tipsy himself, but definitely not to the point where he might throw up or be hungover the next day.
“Thanks,” Aaron says and sits up to drink.
“What are you doing here?”
“Kerry and Finn thought it would be a good idea if they began fucking on the bed with me semi-passed out right next to them.”
Robert shakes his head and sits down on the other side, turning on the lamp on the bedside table to shine some light through the room.
“I saw you making out with that Louisiana player tonight.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you fuck in the bathroom?”
“No. He just sucked me off.”
“Was he any good?”
“Yeah.”
“Funny.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“He said that he wanted us to have a threesome.”
“With who?”
“With you, idiot.”
“Oh,” Aaron slurs and then laughs.
“But I told him you don’t swing that way, even though he was fairly convinced you are gay, based on the way you look and act.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and drops the glass to the floor in a poor attempt to place it on the bedside table.
“Well, I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you’re gay?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re drunk.”
“And gay.”
Robert looks at him, confused. Aaron doesn’t say anything else; he just gets under the covers and asks Robert to turn off the light because he’d like to sleep.
Robert does as asked, and then gets under the blanket too, turning on his side to face Aaron.
“So you’re gay.”
“Yeah. But shhhh,” Aaron whispers and presses a finger to Robert’s lips. The finger smells like cigarettes, so Robert grips into his wrist and pulls his hand away.
“You can’t tell anyone. Not even Robert.”
“I am Robert.”
“I knooow,” Aaron giggles, looking at the wrist that Robert is still holding.
“Just go to sleep. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Can I tell you another secret?”
Robert sighs, “Sure.”
“Come closer.”
Robert leans closer at the same time Aaron does, so Aaron can whisper something into his ear.
“I’ve never kissed a boy, but I’ve been fucked by one.”
“How does that work?” Robert asks.
He doesn’t get his answer though, because Aaron is already kissing him with an open mouth and tongue.
To say that Robert is surprised and shocked at once would be the understatement of the century.
“Kiss me back,” Aaron demands in a pouty voice when Robert doesn’t react.
“Why?”
“Because I want you to.”
“Alright,” is all Robert can say before he’s leaning forward and kissing Aaron, pushing him on his back.
Their tongues meet in a matter of seconds, and even though Robert would never admit it, Aaron is an amazing kisser. Just the right amount of deep and aggressive. He tastes like alcohol and cigarettes but Robert likes it.
Robert cups the side of his face and puts a leg between Aaron’ to get closer to him. The kiss makes something ignite in the pit of Robert’s stomach, and he knows that if he doesn’t fuck Aaron soon, he will explode from all the hatred that’s built up inside of him.
Aaron spreads his legs so Robert can fall between them and they continue kissing while Robert messily ruts against him, despite having just had an orgasm not even an hour earlier.
Aaron’ legs lock around his waist and he turns his head to the side so Robert can lick and mark him up. And Robert does just that, until he realizes that Aaron’ breaths are now even.
“What the-seriously?”
Aaron is asleep.
“Great.”
But Robert rolls off of him and adjusts himself in his briefs, deciding against jerking one off. Instead, he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, confused about what just happened.
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Chapter Text
Robert wakes up cold and sweaty at the same time, and with a not-so-small problem in his briefs. He turns on his side to see Aaron on his stomach with the back of his head facing Robert. The whole blanket is tangled around his feet and waist, and he’s lightly snoring.
Robert mumbles something under his breath and gets out of bed to go to the bathroom so he can get rid of his nagging problem.
When he comes out of the bathroom, with brushed teeth and a big smile, Aaron is sitting up and drinking the rest of the water that was in the glass from the night before.
“Does your head hurt?” Robert asks and sits down on the bed next to Aaron.
“Just a bit. Oh God, we’re both almost naked. Did we do anything last night? Did anything happen?”
Robert looks at him, and then he sees the scared look in Aaron’ eyes, even though he’s trying not to show any emotion.
“Uh…no.”
“Then how did I end up in your bed half naked?”
“You came here after you said that Finn and Kerry were having sex, then you got undressed, hopped into bed, and passed out. That’s it.”
“Oh. Well. Thanks for letting me sleep here. I didn’t throw up did I?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Good. I should probably get back to my room now and pack my stuff. We’re leaving at ten.”
Aaron gets up from the bed and Robert watches him pull on his jeans, but leaving the shirt off.
“What time is it?”
Robert looks at the clock on his phone.
“Half past nine.”
“Shit.”
And with that, Aaron leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. Robert watches it for a second, before he finally gathers his thoughts and gets up from the bed to pack his suitcase.
The entire team meets in the lobby at ten, and they all have to wait for Aaron in the bus, as per usual, since he’s late.
“Hey did Aaron come to your room last night?” Finn asks Robert once they’re in their seats in the bus.
“Yeah. He seemed pretty outraged about the two of you fucking on the bed right next to him.”
“What are you talking about?”
“What do you mean? He came by my room last night, complaining that he couldn’t sleep where the two of you were fucking.”
“We didn’t shag last night, what the fuck? We literally cuddled and fell asleep with Aaron next to us.”
“Oh.”
Finn smirks. “Maybe he just wanted an excuse to come and sleep with you.”
“Well we didn’t sleep-I mean-technically we didn’t.”
“Well did you do anything else?” Finn asks, and Robert sighs.
“Well, we kissed but that was it. Oh, and he doesn’t know so I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way.”
“Of course. Did he say anything else?”
“No.” Robert quickly responds, because he knows that it’s not his place to tell someone (even though that someone is one of Aaron’ closest friends) about what Aaron admitted the night before.
Their conversation is cut short when Aaron hops on the bus, apologizes to Coach, and then walks all the way to the back where they’re seated.
“Tough wank?” Bryan questions before a friendly banter about dicks and dirty dreams begins, which has Robert thinking that college students are five year olds after all.
-
On Monday, Mr. Winston asks them how their paper is goning – which is due the following day - and of course, Aaron looks as confused as ever.
He leans over his seat to whisper into Robert’s ear.
“What paper?”
Robert’s shoulders jump and he turns his head, startled.
“He assigned it to us over a week ago.”
“Well I didn’t know about it,” Aaron replies.
“Maybe because you’re apparently too busy doing nothing to actually study.”
“Jesus, you’re worse than a parent.”
There’s a short pause, and then Aaron speaks again:
“So how long does it have to be?”
“Two pages long, about why people often lie to protect others.”
“That’s stupid,” Aaron mumbles but sits back and chews on his lip.
By the end of the lecture, he follows Robert out the door and catches up to him.
“Hey. Wait up!”
Robert stops and turns around with a surprised look on his face.
“Can we uh…meet up later? So you can help me with my paper? Since you probably don’t want to write it for me…right? Or do you?”
“No I don’t,” Robert replies, annoyed. “Where do you want to meet up?”
“Well definitely not the frat house because there’s a victory party tonight.”
“And you’d skip out on drinking to study?”
“I have plenty of time to drink once we’re done with my essay.”
“Alright. How about the library? Pete is probably at our dorm with Sophia so I don’t want to bother them. So…the library.”
“Alright. At eight?”
“I finish my shift at nine, so let’s say nine thirty in front of the library? It closes at eleven so we have one hour and thirty minutes.”
“I can do the math.”
“There’s no need to be bitchy when I’m trying to help you.”
“Speaking of, why are you trying to help me?”
“I like helping people because I know what it’s like to need help but not receive it.”
Aaron looks at him weirdly, but doesn’t question him about his statement. It makes him uncomfortable when people start to open up or try to start a deep conversation with him.
“You know where the library is, right?” Robert asks, and Aaron smiles, relieved that the subject has been changed.
“I think I can find it, thanks.”
Then they split up without as much as a goodbye, since Robert is heading towards his next class, and Aaron is just going back to the frat house to sleep, since he didn’t get much last night.
-
“Where are you rushing off to?” Ross asks with a smirk on his face a few hours later, when Robert is in the changing room.
“I need to get to the library.”
“You tutoring Aaron again?”
Robert nods, not saying anything about it. A few minutes later he’s all packed up and ready to leave, so he says goodbye to Ross and the rest of his coworkers as he exits.
“Oh fuck.”
It’s raining, and that’s the last thing he needs right now, since he doesn’t have anything to cover his head with. He’s rushing down the street to the bus station that would take him to the library (he usually walks there if he wants to study a bit after work but it’s raining so he’s really not in the mood).
As Robert waits for the bus, he hears some desperate meows coming from somewhere really close to him, so he looks around until he sees a small cat hiding under the bench he’s currently sitting on.
She’s drenched and the thing that Robert notices about her first are her blue eyes. He struggles to get her out from under the bench and places her in his lap, trying to dry her off with his coat.
“Jesus Christ.”
The bus that’s supposed to take him to the library arrives not even one minute later, and before Robert has any time to contemplate on what to do with the cat, he hops on the bus with her in his arms.
He definitely knows what the policy clearly states about keeping pets in the dorms, but by the time he gets off the bus to enter the library, he’s already named her Blue and is hiding her in his laptop bag.
To his surprise, he finds Aaron inside right by the staircase, dressed in a colorful jacket with a beanie over his hair.
“Did you wait long?” Robert asks as they walk up the stairs together.
“Not really. Five minutes or so.”
They find a table on the third floor where they sit down and take out their working utensils.
“So before I start writing an essay I usually brainstorm a few main points and ideas that fit the theme and write them down, so I can expand them later.”
Aaron nods, and Robert is not sure if he’s actually listening or not. His mind seems somewhere else entirely.
“Are you listening?” Robert asks annoyed.
“Yeah, go on.”
“Okay, so…tell me a few motives why people would lie to protect others. Ideas, sentences, anything. I’ll write them down as you do.”
“Why is there a cat in your bag?”
“Great! Why is there-wait what?”
Robert puts the pen down and looks at his laptop bag that’s hanging off his chair. Blue is peaking her head out and looking curiously at Aaron.
“Why is there a cat in your bag?” Aaron repeats, and moves closer to the table, leaning his elbows on it.
“She was under the bench at the bus station and I couldn’t just leave her there to freeze or drown to death.”
“Yeah but keeping pets in dorms is illegal. They’ll kick you out and it’s going to take a few months before you will be able to move back in.”
“I know, but they won’t find out unless someone rats on me. Pete definitely won’t…so I hope you won’t either.”
“I won’t. Your life is none of my business. And she’s…kind of cute.”
Blue hops out of the bag and right onto the table.
“Did you name her?”
“Blue.”
Aaron doesn’t say anything after that.
“So, back to your essay that’s due in two days,” Robert says and Aaron focuses his attention on him.
“Right.”
“A few ideas?”
“Well…not wanting to see them hurt. Not wanting them to feel embarrassed. Wanting them to feel good,” Aaron trails off.
Robert scribbles all of it down in Aaron’ notebook, surprised by the outcome.
“Good, now open your laptop and start a new document. Each idea should be one or two paragraphs long, and that would probably fill a page and something.”
Aaron does as Robert asks, and while he writes on his paper, Robert caresses Blue until she falls asleep next to his laptop.
“So what do you have so far?” Robert asks a few minutes later, when Aaron’ writing comes to a halt.
“My name. The introduction.”
“And?”
“That’s it.”
“That’s it?!” Robert exclaims and gets up from his chair to go and look over Aaron’ shoulder. “It’s already half past ten and you barely have one hundred words? You’re never going to pass this class if you keep going at this rate!”
“I’m a man of few words Sugden.”
“Don’t try to be fuckin’ wise with me. Finishing this essay is for your own good.”
Aaron sighs and begins to elaborate the first idea they’ve written down, so Robert sits back into his chair and takes his phone out to go through his Twitter feed while he waits.
“Okay so the first two paragraphs are done, and I have…five hundred thirty two words. Almost an entire page.”
Robert doesn’t ask about how big he actually made the font, and he’s about to get up and check on what Aaron wrote, but then he realizes that the cat is missing.
“Where’s Blue?”
“Who?”
“The fucking cat, Aaron.”
“Oh…shit. I didn’t see her leave the table.”
Robert gets up from his seat and begins looking for her silently, since calling her name probably won’t lead her back to him.
“You know that we can get arrested for bringing a living animal into the library right?” Aaron asks as he joins Robert in browsing through the aisles.
“No shit Sherlock. Now is not the time for you to recite the rules from the front desk to me.”
“Alright alright, calm down. Christ. I never knew you could be so cranky.”
They reach the Science section when Robert finally finds Blue, hiding on a shelf between two books.
“Here you are,” he says in an affective tone, and just as he takes her into his arms, the lights go off.
“What the-“ Aaron starts but Robert interrupts him.
“What’s the time?”
Aaron checks his phone.
“Ten past eleven. Oh God.”
“They locked us in.”
That’s then they run to the door and start yelling for someone to come open it and let them out, but five minutes later it turns out that yelling won’t solve anything.
“This is the worst,” Aaron huffs as he sits back down.
Robert has placed Blue back into his bag so she could sleep, and is now lighting up the room with the flash on his phone.
“Should I call the police?”
“Why would you call the police?”
“I don’t know? So they could come get us out of here?” Robert sarcastically replies.
“Don’t bother.”
“Oh, so you’re planning on actually spending the night here?”
“Why not? It’ll be fun.”
“Since when can you have fun around me?”
“Since I got a bottle of Gin in my bag and a serious list of questions I want to ask you.”
“Okay, first of all, why do you carry a bottle of Gin in your bag?”
“Because I was planning on bringing it to the party but as it turns out I’m not going.”
“And second, I’m definitely not drinking that. And I’m definitely not playing any drinking game with you at eleven o’clock at night in the public library.”
Aaron pouts. “If there is ever a time for you to actually prove to me that you’re not all made of shit, then this would be it.”
“I’m not trying to prove anything to you,” Robert tells him, but finds himself debating it. He knows that Gin tastes as Vodka does-sort of, but he’s really got nothing better to do so he finally agrees.
“Oh, Robert Sugden actually being wild for once. Amazing, I’m flattered.”
“Shut up already before I change my mind.”
Aaron gets the bottle out, and as soon as he unscrews the cap Robert already smells the heavy alcohol.
“So truth or dare or never have I ever first?”
“Whatever.”
“Alright. Let’s say…never have I ever because then we’ll get drunk easier.”
“How does it work?”
“You don’t know how one of the most popular drinking games work?”
Robert shakes his head and then Aaron proceeds to explain to him how their supposed to take a gulp if they’ve done whatever the other person said they never did.
“I mean, of course you can say you never did something but have actually done it so, you know, you can get drunk easier.”
“But will it work without shot glasses? Your gulps are definitely bigger than mine.” Robert protests.
“Yeah but I also have a bigger alcohol tolerance than you do so it balances out.”
“So I’ll start,” Aaron says and grips into the neck of the bottle. “Never have I ever…fucked a girl.”
He takes a swig and then hands the bottle to Robert, who doesn’t do anything.
“Wait seriously? You’ve never fucked a girl?”
“I’m gay.” Robert tells him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Okay…your turn.”
“Never have I ever fucked or been fucked by a boy.”
“Oh come on, I thought you didn’t want to get drunk.” Aaron whines.
“Two can play this game.”
“Fair enough.”
It’s Aaron’ turn again, and now he’s saying that he’s never been in love. He’s also the only one who drinks. Robert decides not to question him about it, and thinks back to that time he had the biggest crush on his boyfriend in sixth form; Kyle. Or that time he was in love with Nick last year but how he got over it eventually.
“Never have I ever…kissed a boy,” he says, careful not to give his intentions away as he drinks. He hasn’t said anything to Aaron about the other night, and he definitely won’t, but he’s also not sure whether Aaron actually remembers it or not.
“Are you trying to get yourself drunk?” Aaron asks, and doesn’t reach out for the bottle after a few seconds of silence, so Robert lets him continue.
“Never have I ever…gone skinny dipping.”
This time, neither of them drink.
“Alright, so we’re both losers,” Aaron concludes.
After they find out that the both of them had threesomes and only Aaron sixty-nined, they decide to switch over to Truth or Dare because they’re both tipsy enough to do something reckless. Well, Aaron is at least.
Blue wakes up before they start the game, and decides to go and cuddle into Aaron’ lap, where she goes to sleep again.
“It’s settled, she’s my cat from now on.”
“Yeah right.”
“Well she apparently loves me more so.”
“Bullshit.”
“Truth or dare?” Aaron changes the subject.
“Truth.”
“Pussy.”
“Hey Blue might get offended.”
“Who were you in love with?” Aaron asks, completely ignoring Robert’s remark.
“It’s not that important.”
“Oh come on Sugden you’ve made me curious now.”
“Well the first guy I fell in love with was Kyle, which was kind of stupid because we were both sixteen and he was straight.”
“Ooh. That sucks.”
“I know. So I eventually moved on when I left for college, and then I fell in love with-well, Nick. But I got over that too.”
“You were in love with Nick Grimshaw?”
“Just because you don’t like him, it doesn’t mean that others can’t. Speaking of, why don’t you like him?”
Aaron shrugs and fiddles with the neck of the bottle.
“I don’t know…he’s one of those people that I just want to punch whenever I see their face.”
“Am I that category too?” Robert asks.
“No.”
There’s a hesitant pause after that, so Robert continues the game to avoid an awkward situation. As if the circumstances aren’t weird enough.
They continue the game with two more rounds and drink without a reason, so it’s safe to say that they’re both tipsy, on the way to being completely drunk.
“Dare,” Aaron says when they’re leaning against the table, sitting on the floor with Blue at their feet.
“I dare you…” Robert glances at the bottle that’s three-quarters gone. “To run around the library three times which means go through each…each aisle. Naked.”
Aaron lazily turns his head to him and uncrosses his legs.
“You know,” he slurs as he’s trying to get up. “If you want to see me naked you just have to ask.”
Robert looks up at him through his lashes.
“I don’t need to…see all that. Thanks.
Robert is proud that he can still keep a serious façade, despite his state of drunkenness.
“I know you do so I’m just going to-“ Aaron starts and places the bottle between Robert legs before finally stands up, facing him.
“You’re what?”
Aaron shushes him and then giggles as he slowly zips down his jacket, then takes it off and swings it over his head so it falls at the ground at his feet.
“Are you trying to strip?” Robert asks incredulously.
“Don’t interrupt my show.”
“You’re so fucking drunk,” Robert laughs but keeps his eyes on Aaron’ body.
“You love it.”
Aaron takes off his shirt next and runs his hands down his chest in a way that would be sexy if he weren’t drunk and giggling through the whole thing. But Robert still stares at him like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen, until Aaron proceeds to climb up on the table. He almost steps over Robert’s phone that’s still providing them light, and makes a twirl.
“Okay I think it’s time you…you come down,” Robert says and stumbles as he tries to get up.
“But I thought you wanted to see me naked.” Aaron pouts.
“Well not when you’re drunk and about to fall off a table.”
“So you’re saying that you’d like to see me naked when we’re both sober?”
“I’m not saying anything.”
Robert holds his arm out for Aaron and tries not to stare at his naked, defined chest. Aaron begins to hum a song Robert doesn’t recognize as he dances on the table and takes off his belt.
“Bend over for me Robert,” He says in a seductive tone that would be really sexy if he didn’t slur the words.
“I can’t remember the last time you called me Robert.”
“Shh.”
Aaron throws his belt over Robert’s head and unbuttons his jeans.
“Wait! I’ve got an idea! Turn around and make two steps forward.”
Robert looks at him confused but does as asked. He hears Aaron yell out and then a loud thump.
“Shit-what the fuck are you doing?” he asks and turns back around to see Aaron on his ass on the floor.
“I wanted to jump on your back so you could give me a piggy back ride around the room but I slipped and now my ass hurts.”
“You get used to it.”
“To my ass hurting?”
“Yeah.”
“Well I think that our asses usually hurt from different motives. And I’m definitely not planning on it hurting for the same reason yours does.”
Aaron lies back so he’s under the table, and pats the place beside him. Robert lies down next to him so they’re both staring at the underside of the table with their thighs touching.
Blue jumps on Aaron’ stomach and sits down there for a second, before she begins to lick his chin.
“Ew, get off me,” Aaron says but doesn’t do anything to push her away.
Then he turns his head to look at Robert. “This cat will get you in trouble.”
Robert shrugs and tries not to think about how good Aaron smells. Because it’s creepy. And he hates him. Although he’d really like to fuck or be fucked by him.
“Who do you think is the hottest guy in college?” Aaron asks after a few minutes of silence.
“Is this the part where I’m supposed to say you?”
“No. I’m just curious.”
“You first,” Robert says and turns on his side so he can pet Blue (but to also stare at Aaron’ chest-although that’s not important and no one has no know).
“Ross, definitely. God, those cheekbones and tattoos and hair.”
“Got a little crush hm?” Robert asks, tickling Blue behind her ears.
“No. I just think he’s hot. Can’t a straight guy appreciate another guy’s looks?”
“Right.”
“Now you go. Wait, where’ the bottle?”
“I think you’ve had enough to drink,” Robert says. “And it’s illegal for you to move when you have a pet sitting on you.”
Aaron pouts and tickles Blue’s stomach, before he places her on Robert’s thighs and sits up. He hits his head against the table, which causes Robert to laugh so hard that Blue jumps off of him.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Robert says when Aaron takes a gulp and then goes in for another.
“You’re so full of shit.”
“And you’re full of alcohol so you should stop.”
“You’re like my mother.”
Robert places the bottle on the table even though Aaron could probably get to it if he wanted to. And he does. He stands up quickly, grabs the bottle and runs away with it like a child.
Robert follows him, even though he can barely see anything. He finds him when he hears a yelp and a shattering noise.
“Aaron?”
“I think I just twisted my ankle,” Aaron whines from his spot on the floor as he holds his ankle.
“You’re half naked, drunk, and you just twisted your ankle. Great.”
Robert squats down and picks Aaron up bridal style, before they return to the table and he sits him down on it.
“Does it hurt?”
“A bit.”
“Here.”
He takes out a bottle of water and holds it against it.
“Thanks. Do you have something to eat?”
“I think I might have some biscuits.”
He looks through his bag and finally pulls out a pack of biscuits that he hands to Aaron.
“Ew, what the fuck are these?”
“Raisin biscuits.”
“Why would anyone eat these?”
“They’re healthy, that’s why.”
“You’re so weird,” Aaron says but eats some nonetheless. Once they’ve finished the pack, Aaron decides it’s time for a smoke so he limps over to the closest window.
“Maybe smoking right now isn’t the best idea,” Robert tells him but Aaron does it anyway. He never listens to Robert anyway.
Blue plays with Robert for a while until she finally goes to sleep again and Aaron comes back.
“I’m really bored and I can’t sleep. Entertain me,” he tells Robert as they sit against a bookshelf, going through a book about sex with the help of Robert’s flashlight.
“Isn’t this book entertaining enough for you?”
“Nah. Too many vaginas.”
“I thought you liked vaginas?”
“Not when I’ve had this much to drink.”
Robert gets an unsettling sense of déjà vu.
“How does that work?”
“I don’t know, you tell me,” Aaron says and pats Robert on the chest, letting his hand linger on the collar of his shirt for too long.
“Tell you…what?”
Robert’s last words fade out as he stares at Aaron’ lips.
“Or you can just-shut up. I like you the most when you don’t speak.”
They both lean in at the same time to attach their lips in a quite violent kiss. Aaron opens his mouth to tangle their tongues and then suddenly turns to straddle Robert, knocking the book on the floor.
It’s so sudden that Robert doesn’t even time to contemplate before he trails his hands up Aaron’ thighs, all the way up until they come rest on Aaron’ ass.
Aaron cups Robert’s face and tilts his head to deepen the kiss.
“Aaron-“
Robert’s words get caught in his throat as Aaron kisses and bites the side of his neck, while running his hands through his hair. His mind is foggy and all he can feel is the throbbing in his jeans and Aaron’ obvious erection that’s poking him in the stomach.
“Don’t leave marks-“ Robert tries to tell Aaron between hasty kisses and lip bites.
“Too late babe.”
Aaron pulls back smirking as he grabs the wrist of Robert’s right hand and guides it to his chest, and then lower, until Robert’s fingers graze the outline of his boxers.
“What are you doing?”
“Help me get rid of it?” Aaron pouts and it’s unfair. Really, really unfair because his cheekbones are even more defined from the light that’s coming from the floor and his eyes sparkle from the alcohol.
Right, the alcohol.
“Aaron, you’re drunk and I’m tipsy…I don’t think-“
“Don’t think. For once, just do what you feel like without fucking thinking everything through.”
“What do you want?” Robert asks, looking into his eyes.
“Whatever you’re willing to give me,” Aaron whispers against his lips and then kneels up so he’s towering a bit over him. Robert gets the message, and pulls Aaron’ jeans, together with his briefs, all the way down to his knees.
Aaron’ cock is definitely thicker than expected, and it’s right there, poking Robert in the stomach, even as Aaron sits back down on his thighs.
Robert wraps his hand around it at the same time as Aaron locks their lips back together in a desperate kiss. Aaron moaning into Robert’s mouth while he’s getting a handjob is the hottest thing Robert’s ever witnessed so far.
“I’ve got an idea,” Aaron whispers into his ear after a minute, making every single hair on Robert’s back stand up.
“What?”
Aaron then gets up so that his dick is right in Robert’s face, and he’s smiling as he looks down.
“You want me to blow you?” Robert asks but gets his mouth on him right after he shuffles to his knees.
Aaron’ hands come down to tangle in his hair and guide him through it.
“This feels so good even though I’m smashed, fuck.”
Robert smiles at the praises and moans that come out from above his head, so he continues the best he can without choking on it-Aaron probably wouldn’t like him throwing up all over his boner.
“I’m so close-where do you want me to-“
“My mouth.”
It’s probably not the wisest decision but Robert has swallowed while being drunk before, so he knows he’s going to be alright.
Aaron begins fucking his mouth at some point and all Robert can do is take it, until Aaron finally comes down his throat with a load moan and fingers gripping his hair.
“How was it?” Robert asks when Aaron sits back down next to him, briefs and pants pulled back up.
“Really good,” Aaron trails off and shuffles to the left so he can lean down and place his head on Robert’s lap.
Robert, of course, doesn’t mention anything about his raging erection, mainly because Aaron doesn’t even seem to notice he’s resting his head right on it.
“I can’t believe you’re going to fall back asleep again.”
“What do you mean again?” Aaron mumbles, looking up at him.
“Nevermind.”
Robert closes his eyes and rests his head back against the shelf, trying to go to sleep. He eventually does, while running his fingers through a sleepy Aaron’ hair.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading I hope everyone is okay after Wednesday :)
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Chapter 6: 6
Summary:
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Notes:
They get to know each other a little better in this one. Huge thanks to my beta ! :)
! Updates are on Saturdays around 5pm UK time from now on so you guys can read it over the weekend !
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Chapter Text
Robert wakes up the next day when someone violently shakes him.
“What the- what?” he mumbles and rubbed his eyes, blinking up at Aaron in confusion.
“The door has been unlocked.”
“Did anyone see us?” Robert asks and stands up with shaky feet, still half asleep.
“No, I don’t think the lady saw us, so we better move before she comes back and asks us why we are here so early in the morning.”
Robert stares at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out whether Aaron remembers what happened just a few hours ago. He wants to ask Aaron about it, but he doesn’t, because they’re already outside the building and Aaron hasn’t said anything at all. The silence might also be a positive answer to Robert’s question.
“So um…I guess we should stick to studying at each other’s places from now on,” Aaron finally says while they’re waiting for the bus.
Robert has to get back to his dorm before his first lecture, and so does Aaron.
“Yeah…I guess. Um. How about Tuesday’s and Thursday’s? Exams are in less than a month so-“
“Whatever you say. I just want to go home and nap for a bit.”
“We have class in two hours.”
“Then I can nap for an hour and forty minutes.”
Robert tries to hold down a smile and fails, but the bus is just turning the corner so their conversation is cut short there. The bus ride is quiet, and Robert can sense some serious unspoken tension between them as they sit next to each other.
“So when and where are we meeting today at seven?” Aaron asks once they’re both off the bus.
“Um…well I sometimes go for a coffee after my last lecture-“
“You drink coffee in the evening?”
“Yeah, enough to keep me awake and focused until midnight so I can study.”
“You’re weird.”
“So see you at six at Starbucks?”
“Seriously?”
“What’s wrong with Starbucks?” Robert asks, kind of offended.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too mainstream?”
“Oh please stop with this bullshit. It’s only ‘mainstream’ because people make it mainstream. The coffee is good, the place isn’t that noisy in the evening, and it’s close to my dorm. What else do you want?”
“Nothing, nevermind. I’ll call you once I get off from practice.”
“Alright.”
Then they part ways; Robert walks straight forward towards his dormitory building, and Aaron takes a left turn to get to the frat house.
They don’t mention the blowjob incident until later that night.
-
Robert gets out from his lecture at six on the dot, and asks Kerry if she’d like to grab a coffee with him, since she isn’t supposed to do any physical activity for two weeks. She twisted her ankle at practice yesterday and was now walking with crutches from her sorority house to lectures and back.
She shouldn’t be accompanying Robert to a coffee shop two blocks away, but she does anyway, to Robert’s relief. He really feels like he has to speak to someone about the whole Aaron situation, and Kerry is the closest thing he has to a best friend that knows how to keep their mouth shut.
“So what’s up?” she asks as soon as Robert comes back with their coffees and food.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you don’t usually just invite me out during the evening hours without having to talk to me about something.”
“That’s bullshit. Can’t I spend time with my-“
“Robert,” Kerry cuts him off. “I know you too well.”
He sighs. “Fine.”
“Boy trouble?”
“Wha-“
“Aaron trouble?”
“How did you know?”
She shrugs. “You have this Aaron-look on your face every time you’re thinking or talking about him.”
“That’s not true! What face?”
“That worried face mixed with fondness and something else I can’t quite place.”
“I think your ankle injury might have affected your brain.”
“Stop trying to be funny when I’m being serious. Honestly, what’s going on? What happened that night when Aaron left us and came to your room with the pretext that Finn and I were fucking-which, by the way, was NOT true?”
She’s talking fast; it’s something she usually does when she wants the other person to tell her what she wants to know already without wasting too much time.
“Well…uh. Alright. So that night when he came over, he was completely smashed and climbed into my bed. We talked and he ended up telling me that he was gay-something I shouldn’t have told you because it’s not my place to, and then we kissed.”
“You kissed?” she asks, way too loud for a private conversation.
“Yeah, shout it from the rooftops.”
“Sorry,” she smiles. “I’m just…wow. I’ve been waiting for that to happen.”
“What? You’ve been waiting for me to kiss him?”
“I have! I mean the tension between you two is just too much to handle.”
Robert rolls his eyes because he’s heard that before from Ross, Pete, and even Finn.
“Well, we kissed. And then last night, we were studying in the library and got locked in, and we ended up kissing and I blew him.”
Kerry stares at him for a few seconds without speaking a word.
“Does he have a big dick?”
“Wha-Kerry!” Robert exclaims, blushing. “I’m sitting here, pouring my heart out to you and that’s all you tell me?”
She laughs and Robert does the same, because the whole situation is ridiculous. But everything turns serious again when Kerry asks him if they talked about it.
“No, we haven’t. He didn’t remember our first kiss the next day because he blacked out, and I’m not sure whether he remembers what we did last night because he didn’t say anything about it.”
“He’s probably talking about the same thing with Ross as we speak.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I don’t know. I just-“
“Do you like him?”
“What? No!”
“But you kissed him. And blew him.”
“There is a big difference between liking someone and being sexually attracted to them. Trust me, I find Aaron Dingle repellant as a person,” Robert assured her.
“You don’t seem to find his dick repellant though.”
“I don’t. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
“Do I sense a friends with benefits type of relationship?” she asks and wiggles her eyebrows.
“More like just benefits because we’re definitely not friends. Acquaintances with benefits maybe.”
Kerry occupies herself with drinking her tea, because Finn is supposed to come pick her up in ten minutes and drive her home.
“What a nice boyfriend.”
“You need one too.”
“Aaron would make a horrible boyfriend.”
“Who mentioned him?” she asks but then she’s interrupted by another voice.
“Always talking about me behind my back are we?”
They both turn their heads at the same time, to see Aaron walking towards them with wet hair and a Nike sports bag hanging from his shoulder. He places it on the seat to Robert’s right, and then walks over to the counter so he can order.
“Fuck,” is the first thing Robert says when he’s out of earshot. “Are you-are you laughing?”
Kerry tries to push back a smile and Robert throws a bit of his biscuit in her direction, which gets stuck in her hair. She puts it in her mouth right as Aaron is coming towards them with his coffee. He sits down to Robert’s left.
“So what’s this I hear about me being a terrible boyfriend? How did it even come up?”
“It’s not that important.”
“If it’s about me, then yes, yes it is.”
Robert sighs because he doesn’t want to get into a complicated talk with Aaron. As if on cue, Finn enters the coffee shop with a bag slung over his shoulder.
“Hey babe,” he says before kissing Kerry on the lips, and then greets Robert and Aaron. “I illegally parked my car across the street so I suggest we go now before it gets picked up.”
Kerry nods and seems pretty relieved that Finn interrupted the discussion that was probably about to start between the two of them.
“Well then I’ll be off.” She says as she struggles to get up. Finn grabs her arms and helps her stand, before he wraps his arm around her waist. They both say goodbye and finally walk towards the door.
Robert watches them leave more than he should, mainly because he wants to avoid talking to Aaron.
“You know you’re not getting out of telling me why you said I’d be a bad boyfriend, right?”
“Does it really matter? We were just idly chatting and you just came up.”
“You should really learn how to properly lie, Sugden,” Aaron tells him, and then takes a sip from his straw.
Robert’s eyes drift to Aaron’ mouth, and to the way his cheeks hollow as he keeps sipping. The smug look on Aaron’ face and the small smile that’s playing on his lips makes Robert wonder whether Aaron knows what he’s thinking about.
“Shall we get started then?” Robert asks, tearing his eyes away from Aaron’ lips.
“We’re not doing anything until you tell me why you were talking about me.”
“Are you a sixteen year old girl? I just said that in comparison to Finn you’d be a horrible boyfriend.”
“What makes you say that? For your information, I’m a remarkable boyfriend. You’d be honored to date me.”
“Oh I’m sure,” Robert snorts and is quite please when he sees Aaron’ enraged expression.
“I’ve got a great personality and a big dick. { Yeah } What more would someone want?”
“Modesty probably.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
“Hey, you brought it up. Now let’s get to work because we still have half of the essay to write.”
Aaron gives up after Robert suggests they move on, and waits for him to turn on his laptop so they can finally start.
Robert watches Aaron type, and occupies himself with checking his Instagram, answering some of Aaron’ questions and giving him ideas from time to time.
“God, I’m done.”
“You still have…three hundred words left. The two pages aren’t full yet.”
“But I literally can’t say anything else. I already went on and on about each idea - it doesn’t even make sense.”
“You have to-“
“I’ve got an idea,” Aaron says, a mischievous smile playing on his face. “What if I just type random words at the end of each sentence and then change the font to white? So the word count will be higher.”
“Are you seri-wait. That’s actually not half bad.”
“I’m not as dumb as you thought Sugden.”
Aaron then proceeds to fill the three hundred words left at random, before changing the font to white.
“I just hope Winston won’t notice. But what’s the worst he could do?”
“Um, fail you so you have to retake the class? And the entire major?” Robert says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Which, it kind of is.
“Right. Well, let’s hope that won’t happen because I’m not spending four more years here.”
“Speaking of, what do you want to do once you get out of here?”
“I have no fuckin’ idea. When I came here I wanted to be a drama teacher but now I also want to play football. It’s complicated.”
A few seconds pass, and neither of them says a word.
“I’ll probably stick to becoming a drama teacher or an actor.”
“But you’re good at football.”
“You’ve never seen me act.”
“But I’ve seen you play, and you’re really good at it.”
“Well I am, for one, flattered to hear you say that,” Aaron tells him and finishes his drink with a sarcastic tone.
Robert also drinks the last remains of his coffee. “I’ll email the assignment to you, but from now on we should do your essays on your laptop, because it’s, you know, practical.”
“Right. Whatever. As long as I get them done. And as long as I get to be honored with your presence.”
“You know, I am doing this for free, so the least you could do is be nice to me.”
“I knew you were going to pull that card with me at some point,” Aaron leans forward and places his elbows on the table. “What do you want?”
“What?”
“What do you want for you to keep helping me? Money?”
“Uh no-I didn’t mean it like that. Is being nice and tolerant really that hard?”
“I guess not. It’s just the way I am.”
Robert frowns at Aaron’ uncharacteristically sincere tone. He wants to say something, but he’s not sure what or why, so he just leaves it like that.
“So we’re done here, right?” Aaron’ voice breaks the silence and Robert finally looks up from his laptop that’s been shut down for a couple of minutes now.
“Yeah.”
They pack their stuff and finally get up to leave. Robert knows that there is a five minute walk back to his dorm, which means four minutes of awkward walking with Aaron.
“How’s Blue?” Aaron asks out of a sudden as they walk down the almost deserted street. It’s already dark outside and it’s also cold, but it looks like he isn’t hurrying to get back to his house.
“She’s good. Always scratches the door when she needs to go outside.”
“And no one sees you?”
“No, because it’s usually really early in the morning or at night before I go to bed.”
“You’re going to get caught,” Aaron says, shaking his head.
“Why are you always so negative?”
“I just don’t understand why you’d pick up a cat off the street and risk getting evicted just so you can keep her.”
Robert doesn’t answer the stupid question. Sometimes Aaron is just too annoying to talk to.
They pass by a park, where Aaron unexpectedly walks up the alley and sits down on a swing. Robert is not sure what’s going on, but he follows Aaron’ lead nonetheless, and sits down on the second swing.
They both light a cigarette to fill the awkward silence. By the time they smoke the second one, Aaron breaks the silence with the last sentence that Robert would have expected to leave his mouth.
“So you’re not going to mention last night huh?” Aaron asks, blowing out the smoke at the same time.
Robert’s heart stops and for a moment he’s speechless, the hand with the cigarette stopping halfway to his mouth.
“What about last night?”
“We kissed.”
“Right.”
“And you blew me.”
“Also right.”
Robert turns his head to properly look at Aaron, cigarette long forgotten. On one hand, he’s not sure whether he actually wants to have this conversation with him, but on the other hand, he does want to have this conversation because the thought of clearing things with Aaron has been nagging him ever since that night at the hotel.
“Why haven’t you said anything about it?”
“I just…didn’t think it was something you felt the need to talk about,” Robert replies, still in awe by the direction in which the conversation is headed.
“I just wanted to…uh…tell you that I’m not gay-”
“But we kissed.”
“-when I’m sober, at least,” Aaron finishes his sentence, not meeting Robert’s eyes.
“You’re only gay when you’re drunk? How does that work?”
“I’m just not…that forward when I’m not drunk I guess.”
“You’re not forward when you’re sober? Aaron, I’ve seen you have a threeway kiss with two cheerleaders during a time out.”
“Right.”
There’s a short pause, before Aaron continues.
“What I’m trying to say is, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t go around telling people about it.”
“Are you ashamed of who you are? Do you think it’s wrong to be g-“
“No. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what’s it about?”
Aaron looks reluctant to go on, but Robert is too eager to get to the bottom of this to drop the subject.
“It’s about-I don’t know.”
“You know we’re not in the 70s anymore right? No one will bully you or think you’re weird if you come out.”
“I know,” Aaron lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m confused because I can’t help feeling attracted to boys but I want to like girls.”
“Why?”
Aaron doesn’t answer. Robert is confused, because the entire discussion isn’t making any sense. Why would Aaron feel the need to hide his actual sexuality? They’re not in high school anymore and no one would have anything to comment on it.
“I feel like being gay is not who I am, but at the same time, it is.”
“I went through the same thing when I was sixteen and in denial. Coming out isn’t easy, but so is burying your true feelings deep down.”
“Whoa, okay, there are no ‘feelings’ involved here. I’m talking about attraction. I want to fuck girls but at the same time I want to hook up with guys.”
“So you’re bi then.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Then tell me what the problem is,” Robert pleads. He’s starting to become inpatient, although rushing Aaron into explaining what’s on his mind is the last thing he wants to do.
“I don’t know.”
“You never know anything.”
“You’re not helping,” Aaron sharply points out and throws his cigarette away.
Robert sighs deeply and crosses his ankles. He’s freezing, but he tries to ignore it.
“Maybe you should just do what you feel like doing and find yourself along the way. Don’t put a label on yourself.”
Aaron tilts his head to the side like he’s actually thinking about what Robert’s saying.
“You know, of all the people in the world, you’re the last person I ever imagined having this conversation with.”
“Yet here you are, after two snogging sessions and a quick blowie, talking to me about your sexuality crisis,” Robert says, and he’s trying to make light of the situation but Aaron’ sudden frown makes him realize that he’s just said something that he shouldn’t have.
“What?” Aaron’ voice is higher than usual, and his eyebrows almost reach his hairline.
“What?”
“Two snogging sessions?”
“Hm?”
“You just said that we snogged two times.”
“I did.”
“So you do remember we kissed that night at the hotel.”
Robert’s taken aback. “Wait, you do too?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Then why did you pretend that you didn’t?”
“Because you never said anything the next morning when I asked you about it.”
“That’s because I didn’t want to make you feel like…”
“Like…?”
“Like, I don’t know. I thought that maybe what you said to me that night was something you said and did when you were drunk and it was a one-time thing. So maybe you just wanted to forget and regret.”
“Regret definitely, but not forget.” Aaron pauses for a moment. “You’re not that bad of a kisser.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No. Have you told anyone else about what happened?”
“Just Kerry.”
“Oh God.”
Aaron buries his face in his hands.
“She’s not judging or anything. And your secret’s safe.”
“Did she say anything about it?”
“She asked me if your dick is big.”
“And what did you tell her?”
Cocky Aaron is back, which gives Robert a huge sense of relief.
“Meh.”
“Exfuckingcuse you? You were the one choking on it.”
“I didn’t choke.”
“Oh but I vividly remember you choking.”
“Do you also remember coming to my room and lying about Finn and Kerry having sex just so you could spend the night with me?”
Aaron goes silent at Robert’s words. “We should go, my ears are starting to freeze.”
Robert knows he’s hit a soft spot so he doesn’t say anything as he gets up from the swing. They walk down the alley in silence, and the silence continues all the way to his dorm, where they part ways without saying as much as a goodbye to each other.
“What’s wrong?” Pete asks as soon as Robert steps inside their dorm, slamming the door behind him.
“Nothing.”
“You never slam the door.”
“Aaron is getting on my nerves.”
Pete doesn’t question it, because he knows there’s no use in trying to get into Robert and Aaron’ weird friendship. If it can even be called that.
-
They don’t really talk during the rest of the week, and there’s no need for a study session so they only see each other during classes. Robert doesn’t attend the frat party on Friday night, but he can’t help but think about who’s going to take care of drunk Aaron while he’s studying for his exams.
It’s Tuesday and Robert is sitting in a chair at one of the monthly student council meetings. He’s a part of the board, and they’re currently talking about the annual Christmas fundraiser. It’s an annual giant charity in which more than half of the student body takes part to raise money for a different cause each year, to make some people happy on Christmas. They’re brainstorming ideas, and one of the girls suggests they do a dating auction.
“So I’m thinking of picking two frat houses and two sororities. We can ask ABZ and TGB since they’re the hottest guys on campus, and then GBZ and KB for obvious reasons.”
“You just want to auction the football cheerleaders because you’re one of them,” One guy protests.
Robert isn’t even paying attention to the discussion until he hears his name.
“What?”
“Can you take care of getting the ABZ guys on board?” Lucy, the president of the student council asks him.
“Sure.”
She writes him down on her list and thanks everyone for attending, before she gives the representatives a pile of flyers and application forms to hand out to the houses.
Robert looks at the flyer as he’s walking out of the building.
ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CHARITY: DATE AUCTION
Will take place on December 4th, in the auditorium at 4pm.
Entry requirements!
-must be legal
-must be single (unless the partner agrees for a completely platonic date)
-that’s it
Information about the participant:
Name:
Age:
Relationship status:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Idea of a perfect date:
Special mentions:
Sexual/romantic orientation:
Signature:
So is he supposed to go and get the entire frat house to fill one of these? He sighs, as he turns left to go to the said house. It’s after 8pm so it’s most likely that most of the guys are already at the house.
He rings the doorbell and Ross answers after a few minutes. There are cheers coming from inside, which means that they’re probably playing some drinking game or watching a show with naked women.
“Is this a bad time for an announcement?” Robert asks, clutching the flyers to his chest.
“Come in,” Robert steps inside and after he closes the door, Ross turns to him. “What kind of announcement?”
“For the annual Christmas charity, the student council decided to do sort of a…date auction with the soccer team.”
“So…people are going to pay for a date with us?” Ross asks and takes a flyer.
“Pretty much.”
“That’s cool.”
“I’d appreciate it if you could hand these out to everyone in the fraternity.”
Ross takes a look at the flyers. “Well almost everyone is here tonight. I’ll write everyone’s name on one of these and hand them out.”
“Alright.”
Robert sits down in the kitchen while Ross fills each application form with a name, and then goes to hand one out to everyone in the house.
“Aaron, Bryan, and Finn aren’t here right now.”
Robert takes back the empty flyers and thanks Ross.
“Thank you. I need the completed flyers by the end of the week.”
“No problem.”
Robert smiles and gets up so he can leave. Ross walks him to the door and after inviting him over for a party on Saturday, he closes it.
-
It’s not until Wednesday afternoon right before Robert’s second lecture of the day that he sees Aaron on campus. He’s sitting down on the grass, leaning against the tree as he’s trying to highlight something in a book.
Robert shakes his head and starts walking in his direction, and he’s not even halfway there when Aaron looks up to spot him.
“Robert Sugden. What a pleasure,” is the first thing he says in his usual sarcastic tone.
“I need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Are you single?”
Aaron raises his eyebrows, his book and the whole highlighting process forgotten.
“You’re not really my type Sugden.
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself Dingle. I’m asking for a charity auction.”
“A charity auction?”
“It’s for the annual Christmas charity that the student council is organizing. This year we’re having a date auction to raise money.”
Aaron, to Robert’s surprise, pats the seat next to him. “Come sit.”
Robert reluctantly sits down next to him on the grass and pulls out a flyer from his binder.
“Date auction,” Aaron reads the title. “Am I supposed to go on a date with someone to raise money?”
“Pretty much. And it’s not just you. Almost everyone in your frat is up for it, and three other houses.”
“Hm. Alright. Can you fill it out while I finish this page?”
“Sure.”
Aaron turns his head to the book and Robert pulls out a pen. He places the paper on top of the binder.
“Name?”
“Aaron WilPete Dingle.”
“Age?”
“Twenty.”
“Relationship status?”
“Single and ready to mingle.”
“Yeah I’m not going to write that,” Robert tells him as he scribbles a ‘single’ on the form. “Likes?”
“As in, turn ons?”
“No, as in likes. Hobbies, favorite movie, favorite food and so on.”
“Well…my hobby is playing footie. I like Grease and pizza. Also, date wise, I’d like someone funny who’s easy to talk to.”
Robert nods as he writes everything down. “Dislikes?”
“Dishonest, two-faced people, and mustard.”
“You hate mustard?”
“Does it really matter?”
Aaron still hasn’t looked up at him.
“Nevermind. Idea of a perfect date?”
“An amusement park. Or dinner and a movie.”
“Special mentions?”
“I don’t mind kissing or more on the first date if I’m attracted to the person.”
“Alriiight,” Robert draws out as he writes it down. He stares at the next question and debates whether he should ask the question. He does anyway.
“Sexual slash romantic orientation?”
“Straight and aromantic,” Aaron answers in a sharp tone.
Robert hesitates but writes it down nonetheless.
“Now all I need is your signature and we’re good to go.”
Aaron turns his head and takes the pen out of Robert’s hand to sign the paper.
“Great. Thanks.”
Robert gets up from the ground and wipes his ass. “The auction is next Friday in the auditorium at 4 in the afternoon.”
“Alright.” Aaron looks back down at his book, and that’s Robert’s cue to leave him alone.
-
Robert doesn’t go to the party on Saturday either, and before he knows it, it’s Friday the 4th, and the entire auditorium is filled with people that are holding numbers in their hands, ready to pay for a date with either a sorority girl or a frat boy.
“Alright, Alpha Beta Zeta goes first, so Robert you’re going to present,” Lucy says and shoves a list in his hand with everything he has to say to open the auction and about each individual.
“You’re on in five.”
Robert nods. He shouldn’t be this nervous but he is, so he almost misses his cue to enter the stage. He reads the opening speech carefully, before stepping back and calling the ABZ boys on stage like he was instructed to.
“Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s get the date auction started.”
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading !
Thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter, they always make my day :D
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Chapter 7: 7
Summary:
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Notes:
I like this chapter, even though it's kind of short. It's not beta'd yet, so I apologize in advance for careless grammar mistakes.
Also, I'm SO sorry for posting it at this hour on Sunday, but I had my midterms deadline this week, so I was busy :)
! Updates are on Saturdays around 5pm UK time from now on so you guys can read it over the weekend !
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Chapter Text
Robert grips harder into the microphone as he presents the first twenty frat boys, who bring in from 60 to 100 dollars.
“Next up is Ross Barton. He’s twenty, single, and gender isn’t important for him. His perfect date would be a walk on the beach, then dinner at sunset and maybe drinks back at his place. He doesn’t like close-minded people and loves pizza. The bidding will start at ten dollars.”
Immediately, three different girls raise their number palettes.
“Twenty!”
“Forty!”
“Sixty!”
They begin arguing, shouting out numbers higher than the one before, until one of them yells ‘two hundred’ and everyone else goes silent.
“Two hundred going once…going twice…sold! To number 45.”
Ross smiles and throws a wink in the girls’ direction before walking off the stage.
“Next up is…” Robert looks down at his board. Two more to go. “Finn Barton.”
Finn steps forward with a giant grin on his face.
“Finn is twenty, taken, and straight, but open-minded for anything that could be fun. His perfect date involves a lot of eating and laughing, but he hates awkward silences. The bidding will start at ten dollars.”
Kerry raises her palette and shouts out for fifty dollars. The steaks rise to seventy, and in the end Pete ends up buying him for $110. Robert frowns and Kerry gives him a thumbs up.
“Last but not least, we have Aaron Dingle, president of the ABZ fraternity and captain of the foot-soccer team.” Robert stutters as he reads off the sheet. “He’s twenty turning twenty one, single, and prefers…women. His ideal date would be an amusement park, or a dinner and a movie. Aaron likes people he can have long, amusing conversations with, and hates it when someone is dishonest. The auction will start at ten dollars.”
Someone in the back yells twenty, then two more people raise the cost to fifty-five.
“One hundred!” Someone screams and Aaron is horrified to find out that the person is Holly.
“One hundred and ten!” Kerry yells.
“Two hundred!”
“Two hundred fifty!”
“Two hundred seventy!” Holly tries to win, but fails.
“Three hundred!”
The room grows quiet, and Aaron thankfully smiles at Kerry.
“Three hundred going once…twice…sold! To number thirty-two!”
Aaron beams as he walks off stage, and Robert follows suit.
“Three fucking hundred for a date with you?” Robert incredulously tells Aaron as the next frat house steps on stage.
“I knew Kerry had a crush on me.” Aaron jokes and Finn pokes his arm as Robert reads through the numbers and the prices on his list, before he hands the sheet over to the student council president.
“So when are we supposed to go on the date?” Aaron asks Robert as they make their way out of the auditorium to meet up with Kerry.
“Whenever she wants. As far as the student council knows and cares, she paid. The rest is up to the two of you.”
“And what if someone doesn’t want to go on the date?”
“Then that’s not our problem. You should sort it out with her. And why wouldn’t you want to go on a date with her?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. It was a hypothetical question.” Aaron says.
“Well, it was a stupid one.”
They reach Kerry, who’s waiting on a bench outside, and as soon as she kisses Finn hello, they call a taxi to take them to a restaurant so they can have dinner with the rest of their group and celebrate a successful charity auction.
Ross is supposed to go on a date with a girl named Mary later tonight, Finn has a date tomorrow with Pete, and so do Kerry and Aaron.
Robert knows something isn’t right, but he doesn’t mention anything about it for the rest of the night.
-
It’s not until he gets back to his dorm that Robert gets a phone call from Finn. Pete is sitting on the bed, reading out of a book he’s supposed to write a report on when Robert answers.
“Yeah?”
“Hi, Robert! It’s Finn.”
“I know.” Robert laughs. “Got caller ID and all.”
He watches Blue blink her eyes open at him in a confused state. She jumps down from Robert’s bed and walks over to him so she can rub against his legs.
“Yeah well. I was wondering if you wanted to do something tomorrow? Since Kerry is out on her date with Aaron I thought we could hang out together.”
“But aren’t you supposed to go on a date with Pete?”
“You can come along. We can have a lad’s day, the four of us.”
“Four?”
“Ross’s gonna join us too.”
“Alright, I guess? Where?”
“Pete suggested the festival? It’s going to be around for two more weeks so why not?”
“Okay.”
Robert has no idea what’s going on, since Finn has never called him to ask him out on a ‘lad’s day’ that didn’t involve a club or strippers.
“Well then, it’s settled. See you tomorrow! G’night mate.”
“Night.”
Robert hangs up and stares at Pete, who’s already looking at him.
“What?”
“What’s this about an amusement park?”
Blue jumps on Pete’s bed now since Robert doesn’t pay attention to her, and snuggles up against his chest.
Pete shrugs, places a free hand on her back and begins to stroke her. “Thought it’d be fun to go there before exams.”
Robert looks at him suspiciously, but then thinks that he may be getting ahead of himself. After all, the guys may just want to hang out with him, even though it’s the first time.
He sits down on his bed and pulls out his laptop to watch a movie, his suspicious thoughts pushed to the back of his mind.
-
Kerry invited Aaron to the festival yesterday for their date. When asked why she big $300 on him, she just told him that she wanted to get to know him better because he looked like a funny guy. Aaron took the compliment and agreed to the idea.
It’s five o’clock in the afternoon and he’s supposed to meet her in front of the ice cream parlor right after the entrance. He bought his own ticket, since he feels too weird letting her pay for their ‘date’, even though she’s the one who technically asked him out. She assured him that she was going to pay for food and drinks, but agreed when Aaron pestered her about letting him pay for his ticket.
And the ticket isn’t that cheap anyway. Fifty dollars for a VIP pass isn’t Aaron’ cup of tea, although he hasn’t been to one of these parks in a long time.
Aaron glances at the clock on his phone. Kerry is already ten minutes late, so he texts her.
Kerry: sorry, stuck in traffic! The cab hasn’t moved in 5 mins. Be there soon :)
Aaron sighs and looks around as he taps his foot repeatedly.
“Aaron?”
He turns around at the familiar voice, to see Robert walking towards him with a confused expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?” he asks Robert.
“Me? I’m supposed to meet the guys in front of the ice cream parlor. Pete just left for the bathroom.”
“Well I have a date with Kerry so.”
Robert stares at him. “How long have you been waiting for her?”
“About ten minutes now.”
“You don’t think they did this on purpose, do you?”
“Did what on purpose?”
“Set us up.”
Aaron laughs, although it’s obvious that it’s a fake, quite nervous laughter. “Set us up? Why would they spend so much money just to get us together? And why would they want us to get together since we can barely stand each other?”
“Maybe they were tired of us arguing all the time and always ruining the mood when we’re out as a group.”
“Right.”
-
There is one question going through Robert’s head as they patiently wait for the guys and Kerry to show up: If this really is a set up, is it for a friendly bonding time or a date?
He pulls his phone out when another ten minutes pass to text Pete.
Where the fuck are you??? Been waiting for 10 mins
Pete’s response comes almost instantly.
Pete: srry mate theres a long queue nd only 1 universal bathroom. have fun nd ill txt u when im done :)
“So Pete’s in the bathroom.” Robert announces.
“Great. Thanks for the information.” Aaron sarcastically replies. “Kerry is still stuck in traffic because it’s rush hour.”
“Well I for one am tired of sitting in one place and kind of bored.”
“Yeah, me too.”
It’s the first time they ever actually agreed on something.
“Let’s get some ice cream first and then we’ll see.” Robert suggests and turns around to enter the parlor.
“Wait, I have no money on me.”
“How did you get in then?”
“Well, I had fifty bucks but I didn’t think the ticket would be that much.”
“I’ll pay for you, s’alright.”
“I’ll pay you back.”
Robert nods as they get in line for ice cream. It’s a bit weird, because neither of them is talking, just staring at the ice cream flavors aligned in the window.
They’re both relieved when it’s finally their turn to order, because they can finally get distracted from the awkward, obvious silence that has settled between them.
“I’d like a strawberry ice cream.” Robert tells the lady behind the counter.
“And I’ll take a chocolate and grape one.” Aaron says after Robert places his order, shamelessly ordering whatever he feels like because Robert is paying.
And for some odd reason, Robert doesn’t really mind.
They walk towards the rides with ice cream cones in hand, talking about an upcoming game, and Robert finds himself actually taking part in a discussion that isn’t as boring as expected.
“You must really like it.” Aaron tells him as they get in line for at a roller coaster.
“Like what?”
“Taking pictures of fit sweaty men playing footie.”
“You know that just because I’m gay I’m attracted to every single guy, right?”
“Right.” Aaron responds and looks at him with a knowing expression.
“Are you attracted to every single guy you see?”
“I’m not gay.”
“Right.” Robert mocks Aaron’ previous response with a smug look on his face.
“Oh fuck off. You told me I shouldn’t put a label on myself.”
“And you shouldn’t. But you also shouldn’t assume that a gay man is attracted to every living male he sees.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “It was just a way getting you to admit that I’m the hottest on the team.”
Robert bursts out laughing, almost choking on his own tongue. “That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard oh my God.”
“Hey.” Aaron crosses his arms. “Admit it.”
“Why would I admit that you’re the hottest on the team?”
“Because it’s true.”
“I was thought not to lie you know.”
Aaron lets out an exasperated sigh.
“And you’re not the hottest. Pete is. Or Finn.” Robert lies.
“Oh really? And why is that?”
“Well, for one, I can actually look and admire how hot they are without having to crouch down.”
Aaron pushes against his chest with an angry scowl. “Stop making jokes about my height! I may be short, but my cock is big and my ass even bigger.”
“Touché.”
Aaron looks at him surprised, because he obviously didn’t expect Robert to agree with him, but before they can say anything else, they’re already next in line to get on the roller coaster.
“You know, I used to fear roller coasters.” Robert tells him once they’re in their seats, waiting for the protection bars to lock in on them. “But then Finn took me to Orlando Studios and cured me of it. Well, after I threw up like three times.”
“Is that why you’re nervously rambling? Because you’re not afraid at all?”
“Oh shut up.”
Robert grips into the handles once the protection is automatically lowered over their chests and crosses his ankles.
“If I die, just promise me you’ll take care of Blue.”
“The illegal pet you keep in your dorm? Sure.”
Robert doesn’t get to say anything else, because suddenly they’re moving forwards and his palms get all sweaty.
“I think I’m going to vomit what I had for lunch today.”
“If you ruin my fuckin’ hair I swear to God.” Aaron tells him in a serious voice as they distance themselves farther and farther from the ground.
Robert closes his eyes when they reach the top, and doesn’t stop screaming nor opening them until they’re back down safely. He didn’t throw up, so he’s proud of himself.
“Never again.” he tells Aaron as they walk towards the next ride that involves water. They decide to skip that and go straight to an octopus that’s more for teenagers rather than over 20’s, but Robert insists they try it out.
“Is this what the world has come to.” Aaron complains once they’re off the octopus and walking towards a giant drop tower.
It’s already getting dark when they get off the tower ride and head towards the prize booths.
“What?” Robert asks when he feels Aaron’ insistent gaze on the left side of his face.
“Aren’t you going to pay and try to win me a prize?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Is this how all your dates go? You make them walk a lot, accompany you everywhere you feel like going, and then no single reward?”
“I wasn’t aware this was a date.” Robert tells him, surprised.
“Well, it’s in unofficial one, since, you know, but just for the sake of it, win me a giant stuffed animal.”
“I’m horrible at throwing and aiming.”
“Just do it.”
Robert sighs and pays the man behind the counter two dollars, before grabbing four rings and throwing them one after another towards the bottles aligned in front of them. He misses every single throw.
“You’re useless.” Aaron mumbles and looks through his back pocket for some change. He finds three dollars in his jeans, and the man hands him six rings.
“Watch and learn.” He tells Robert and throws the first two one after another, missing.
“I am watching, but I’m definitely not learning.”
“Which one do you want?”
“The giant bear.” Robert says, and points to a stuffed teddy bear.
“How much for the bear?”
“Four rings around the neck of a bottle.”
“Fuck it.” Aaron hoists himself up on the counter. The man throws him an annoyed look but doesn’t say anything.
He gets the first three around three different bottles, but he misses the fourth. Robert crosses his arms impatiently, trying not to stare at Aaron’ ass while he leans over to throw the last ring.
“Yes!” Aaron yells, maybe a little too excited than necessary. “Gimme the bear.”
The man sighs but hands him the giant teddy bear nonetheless.
“This is how you do it Sugden.” Aaron tells him when they walk away from the booth, and head towards the last ride of the evening: the Ferris wheel.
“Why are you giving it to me?” Robert asks when Aaron presses the teddy bear into his chest.
“Because I won it, therefore you’re supposed to keep it.”
“Oh. Alright.”
They climb into a seat and Aaron makes sure the door is closed and they’re safe.
“So I didn’t know this was a date.” Robert says as they’re slowly moving towards the sky.
“Oh, get over it. Wait, have you ever been on a date?”
“Not recently, no.”
Aaron stifles a laugh. “So you’ve never had a boyfriend?”
“I’ve had boyfriends. And don’t tell me you’ve ever been on a date that’s left you speechless.”
“Well, I haven’t been on a date that impressed me per se, but the girls I’ve taken out on dates usually gave me amazing feedback.”
“Oh God.” Robert laughs.
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“No, I do. It’s just…I can’t picture you as a wooer. Especially with a girl.”
“Oh please. If I gave you the entire Dingle Treatment you would’ve asked to go back to my place a long time ago.”
“Excuse me, but Dingle Treatment? What the actual fuck?” Robert is laughing, almost out of air.
“You’re laughing, but you have no idea what you’re missing out on.”
“Alright. Tell me about this ‘Dingle Treatment’ then. But change the name please, it’s ridiculous.”
“Shut up. So. First of all, I always pay for my dates because I’m a gentleman.”
“That’s a bit sexist, innit?”
“No, I like paying for people I like.”
Robert nods, urging him to continue. “And then?”
“Well, I talk to my date about herself, and make sure I don’t interrupt them because if there’s one type girls like, that’s a nice, good listener. Then of course, I crack a few jokes here and there to make her laugh. By then, they either want to go back to my place or continue the date for a bit more.”
“Alright?”
“When the night comes to a close and I’m walking her home, I get a bit touchy feely to test the waters and see how comfortable she is with me. They all usually invite me in after I kiss them against their door.”
Robert looks at him, not even paying attention to the fact that they’re quite far away from the ground, almost at the top of the wheel.
“I don’t believe you.”
Aaron makes a face. “Why not?”
“Because you don’t seem the charming type.”
“Well, the night isn’t over. I’ll prove it to you.”
“Is your ego that threatened?”
“Well, wooing a guy is the ultimate task for me, definitely.”
“Okay, you’re on.”
“But you can’t resist me on purpose just to prove me wrong.”
“I won’t.”
Silence settles after that. Robert grips into the teddy bear when they reach the top and the wheel stops for a few seconds to they can look around.
“So these boyfriends…tell me about them.”
Robert looks at Aaron weirdly, but begins telling him about Kyle. “We were in sixth form, and I was sixteen so of course I fell in love with the first guy that paid attention to me. He was one year older-“
“Did you have sex with him?”
“I did.”
“Is this the type of story where he breaks your heart?”
“Oh, no. Not at all. We broke up on common agreement because he had to leave for Uni.”
“So uh…were you the one who, you know-“
“Did the fucking?”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes. We were versatile.”
Their ride comes to an end, so they go out of their seats and decide to head towards the exit because it’s almost ten and it’s going to be really hard to find a cab.
Aaron calls for a taxi, and lights a cigarette while they wait in front of the park entrance.
“They said five minutes.”
“So ten minutes at least.” Robert says and sits down on a bench close to them. Aaron follows him there. “What are you doing when you get to this part of the date?”
“I usually get touchy feely like I said.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“It means I touch her thigh, arm, place my hand on her back, that sort of thing.”
“And she falls for that?”
“Mhm.” Aaron proudly says. “They always do. I mean, look at me.”
“I am. I don’t feel anything.”
“Fuck off.”
Aaron flicks his cigarette once he’s finished, just in time because their cab pulls up in front of them.
“This is too much.” Robert says when Aaron holds the door of a taxi open for him to get in first.
“Shut up and go along with it. I can be a gentleman when I want.”
Aaron gets in the car after him, gives the driver Robert’s address, and then leans back into his seat so that their knees are obviously touching.
“You’re walking me all the way up to my dorm? Incredible.” Robert says when they’re stuck in traffic.
“Either Dingle Treatment or nothing.”
“Does this treatment also involve me paying for everything including the taxi?”
“Eh, the money was a slight glitch. Other than that, you can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself.”
“I actually did. You’re not half as bad as I thought Aaron.”
“First name basis, we’re getting there.” Aaron laughs and Robert holds the teddy bear closer to his chest.
The taxi pulls up in front of Robert’s building a bit after ten. He pays the driver the exact amount and they pile out of the car.
“It’s been a while since I was in this building.” Aaron says as they’re walking towards the elevator.
“What did you do last time?”
“I’m pretty sure I fucked a girl on the second floor last year.”
Robert shakes his head and they stop in front of his dorm.
“Well, this is it.”
He unlocks the door and pushes it open. The room is dark, which means that Pete isn’t home.
Speaking of Pete, where the fuck is he? Robert thinks. He hasn’t texted him because he’d been too occupied with Aaron.
“Pete isn’t here.” Robert says and turns around to look at Aaron, who’s also looking up at him.
“So did you enjoy spending time with me?”
“I may have. Why does it matter?”
“Strokes my ego if I’m being honest. I mean, if I can woo the Robert Sugden, I can bag anyone.”
“You didn’t ‘bag’ me. And I thought you weren’t gay.”
“I’m not gay.”
“So is this how you usually end a night?” Robert asks, not sure if he wants Aaron to understand what he’s hinting at.
“Not really.”
“There’s more?”
“Yeah.” Aaron answers in a reluctant tone.
“Like…what?”
Robert’s voice dies at the end.
“Well…I usually put my hand on their arm.” Aaron starts and does everything he talks about. “Then I stroke their arm…and ask them about the date.”
“And then?”
“And then I lean in.”
Robert stares at Aaron lips as he leans in slowly. Their noses bump together and Aaron smirks, not even fazed.
“And then I ki-“
Robert doesn’t wait for Aaron to finish the sentence before he presses their lips together. They completely skip over the pecking part and get straight to the tongue rubbing. Aaron places a hand behind his neck to bring him closer.
The teddy bear drops down at their feet and Robert kicks it out of the way so he can place a hand on Aaron’ waist. Kissing drunken Aaron is great, but sober Aaron’ kisses are way better. They aren’t as sloppy and they’re way deeper and concentrated, just the way Robert likes it.
Aaron lets out a soft moan against Robert’s lips, standing on his tiptoes to reach him better.
“You’ve never kissed me when you were sober.” Robert says against his lips when they finally part for a bit of air.
“Mhm.” Aaron’ eyes are Roby and he hasn’t done anything to get away from Robert yet.
Someone clears their voice next to them, and Robert is relaxed at first, thinking it’s just Pete, but to their horror, it’s the dean.
“Uh…hello.” Robert awkwardly says.
“What’s that?” Mr. Perkins asks. They’re both confused at first, but then they look to where the man is pointing, to find Blue staring up at them with innocent eyes.
“Oh fuck.”
Notes:
Thank you so much for waiting, I hope you liked this chapter :)
Thank you for the comments on the last chapter, they always make my day :D
! New chapter will be up on April 25th, 5pm UK time !
☆ Follow me on Tumblr for more updates about the story ☆
Chapter 8: 8
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
I like this chapter, even though it's kind of short. It's not beta'd yet, so I apologize in advance for careless grammar mistakes.
Also, I'm SO sorry for not posting for 2 weeks, but I had midterms :)
! Updates are on Saturdays around 5pm UK time from now on so you guys can read it over the weekend !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aaron steps away from Robert who can’t even move because he knows he’s in a lot of trouble. The dean looks at them, then at the cat, and then back at Robert.
“Is that your cat Mr. Sugden?”
“Uh…yeah it is.”
“Actually, it’s mine.” Aaron quickly says, scratching the back of his head.
Robert shoots him a confused look, not sure what is happening right now.
“I thought you lived in one of the fraternity houses? What is the cat doing here then? It’s against the rules to even bring an animal in the building.”
“Oh, come on-“ Aaron starts but he’s being interrupted.
“Regardless of who’s animal belongs to, it is against the rules to keep one here. So I’m going to ask you to gather your stuff and find another place to stay until you reapply for a dormitory once again.”
“What? Are you making me leave because of a cat?” Robert asks, not believing what he’s hearing.
“You will be able to apply for housing 30 days after your eviction. According to the rules, you have 48 hours to gather your things and leave. Also, you can thank Mr. Dingle for this since it’s his cat. Maybe you can room with him until you get another place.”
The dean’s voice is dripping with sarcasm and Robert wants to bash his face in. He’s never been angrier in his life than he is right now.
The dean leaves them alone after that so he can go and continue his monthly surprise checkup with the rest of the people in the building.
“Well shit.” Robert sighs and slumps back against the wall. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”
“You could, you know.”
“Could what?”
“Come live in the uh-frat house.”
“Are you seriously inviting me to come and live with you for a month because you feel sorry for me?”
“Yeah, I am. Also, I feel bad and I don’t want another person hating me. Even though it’s you.”
“I’m surprised and shocked at the same time. Are you sure you didn’t hit your head? Because this definitely doesn’t sound like you.”
“It is me, feeling guilty for what just happened to you, offering you a warm place to stay for the next thirty days.”
Robert looks at him weirdly, but doesn’t say anything else. “Where will I sleep?”
“We can put an extra bed in your room or something, it won’t be that hard.”
Robert leans back against the wall, suddenly becoming very aware that they’re alone once again with nothing stopping them from kissing or doing anything else.
“Yeah…it probably won’t be.” Robert says, not really remembering what they are supposed to be talking about.
He’s staring maybe a bit too obvious at Aaron’ lips, but sue him. He’s somewhat horny and his anger isn’t helping at all.
“So um…I better get going before something else happens.” Aaron stutters, although he doesn’t move from his spot.
“Sure. I’ll pack up tonight and bring my stuff over tomorrow after classes. But, are you sure about this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know…I’m just asking.” Robert sighs, wondering how his life will probably change once he temporarily moves in with Aaron.
Aaron leaves after that with a simple goodbye and nothing more. Robert watches him leave without saying anything, feeling something building up in the pit of his stomach that he doesn’t quite like.
-
The next day is incredibly hectic for Robert. He has to get back to his dorm in-between classes, pack up a few boxes that he then carries together with Pete to the frat house. Aaron is never there, so Robert has to ask Ross where his room is.
There’s already a twin bed shoved in the corner of the room, so Robert figures that is going to be his for the next thirty days.
It’s half past eight when Aaron comes back, based on the loud laughter coming from downstairs, all sweaty and panting with a grin on his face. He stops in the doorway when he sees Robert on his own bed in the corner, with a laptop in his lap.
“Sugden, didn’t think you’d so quick and eager to move in with me.”
“Well…yeah. Thanks again for letting me stay.”
“No problem. But I hope you’re okay that we sort of party five days out of seven, so if you thought you were actually going to get some studying done you were highly mistaken.”
“Finals are starting tomorrow, I don’t know what exactly you’re planning on arranging, but I can guarantee you that people won’t show up.” Robert tells him, not looking up from his laptop.
“Shit, finals start tomorrow?”
“Um, yeah?”
Aaron swears and Robert hears some rustling before Aaron is out the door, probably on his way to the nearest clean shower.
He kinds of needs one though, Robert thinks. He made the entire room stink of sweat, great.
He sighs and gets up to open a window in order to let some fresh air in. When Aaron comes back, he’s dressed in a pair of sweats and a Nike shirt.
“Alright Sugden, teach me some psychology.” He tells him and sits down against the wall of Robert’s bed.
“Uh, what?”
“What do you mean ‘what’? We have an exam tomorrow right? Let’s revise together. I know the basics.”
Robert frowns at the unusual and uncharacteristic request, but obliges anyway. He sits down on the bed next to Aaron. It’s a tight fit, so their thighs and arms are touching, but it just perfect for Robert to prop the laptop on both their laps (and also smell Aaron’ cologne but that’s not the point of this).
They go through all the notes Robert gathered on his laptop and notebook, quizzing each other, with Robert usually getting all the answers right and Aaron a bit over sixty percent.
“Well, you’re a lot better than you were a couple of months ago.” Robert tells him right before they’re about to start revising the last chapter.
“Yeah well, I’ve been sober more than I’ve been drunk recently so.” Aaron mumbles and stares at the screen maybe a bit too hard than necessary.
“That’s a good thing.” Robert tells him and looks at Aaron through his lashes, in a way that isn’t supposed to be flirty, but yet it is.
Aaron turns his head to stare at him, and for a split of a second everything stops, before Robert leans in. Aaron doesn’t pull his head away, so it’s a clear sign that what Robert is currently about to do isn’t unwelcome.
Their lips meet halfway and after a short hesitation, Robert pushes forward, properly kissing him. It doesn’t take long for Aaron to open his mouth so they can deepen the kiss.
The laptop somehow ends up falling to the floor but Robert couldn’t care less, because Aaron is properly straddling him now, and he’s sober. Robert’s head is spinning for some reason he doesn’t really like to think about, and he grabs Aaron’ waist in a moment of weakness.
He feels Aaron smile against his lips but not saying anything, so Robert feels the right to slip his fingers under his shirt to feel his burning skin.
Robert is about to completely take Aaron’ shirt off, when the door bursts open and Aaron is off Robert in a blink of an eye.
Ross stares at them weirdly, but not surprised in the slightest. Aaron stands up from the bed and walks over to him with an innocent look on his face.
"What's up mate?" Aaron asks and places his hands on his hips.
"I came over to ask if you lads want some pizza? We're ordering so...but I can see that your mouths are already occupied."
Robert looks down at his lap, feeling a bit ashamed because he's been kissing Aaron only for a couple of minutes, and yet he's already sporting a semi.
"Well I'd like a Canadian pizza." Aaron tells Ross and then turns to sit down at the desk, apparently with no intention of going back to sit on the bed with Robert.
"And I'd like a Barbecue pizza, please." Robert says and gets up from the bed to close his MacBook and clean up his things. Ross nods and leaves after that, but not before throwing Aaron a knowing look that Robert can't decipher.
Silence settles in the room after Ross leaves, and although Robert wants to say something, he doesn't.
"So um...nice study session." is what Aaron finally says to interrupt the awkward silence.
"Yeah."
They leave it at that, and thankfully someone from downstairs calls Robert's name so he can escape from the room.
The pizza comes twenty minutes later, when Robert is talking to Dave, one of the frat boys, and Aaron is playing Fifa. Robert thinks it might be in his head, but Aaron is throwing glances, he thinks of as being discrete, at the two of them from time to time.
They all settle throughout the giant living room with pizzas in their laps and the porn chDianel on the plasma TV.
"Those reactions aren't even real." Finn says with his mouth full, pointing to the TV, where a busty blonde is currently screaming while being eaten out.
"I know right? No woman does those sounds ever." Ross agrees. "It's so fake."
"I've heard a girl scream so loud once." Bryan says, a smirk playing on his face.
"Don't flatter yourself this way." Aaron snorts, and then licks his lips.
"I wasn't talking about one of my experiences with girls. I was talking about spring break two years ago in Cancun? Last night at the hotel…”
Robert can see recognition almost on everyone's face as they cheer and laugh at a memory. Aaron is the only one who isn't cheering, but has a proud expression nonetheless.
"What are you talking about?" Robert asks and Bryan continues the story.
"So Aaron' been after this really hot brunette ever since we got there, and we all bet ten bucks he won't fuck her by the end of the break. Man, I don't know how he did it, but on our last night-well, quite early in the morning, we heard these really loud moans that seemed anything but fake, and an hour later we saw the chick leaving Aaron' room."
Aaron smirks and leans back on his palms, satisfied.
"I got two hundred dollars out of it, and the best shag of my life by far."
"But he won't tell us what he did to her that made her scream like that."
Robert stares at Aaron with a weird feeling in his chest that is definitely NOT jealousy.
"And I still won't give away my secret." Aaron tells them, not making eye contact with Robert in a way that seems almost on purpose.
They eat pizza and watch the porn chDianel in almost silence after that, but Robert can obviously feel Aaron' eyes on him throughout the rest of the night.
They talk about the upcoming party that marks the end of the exam period and the beginning of winter vacation.
It's going to take place this Friday, right after Robert's last exam. Around 100 people are supposed to attend as per usual, and Robert wonders where everyone will fit and thinks about that chaos that will probably erupt due to so many people attending.
Everyone goes back to their rooms around 11, so Robert is already in his bed when Aaron comes in, and chatters dies out on the hall.Aaron leaves the room in darkness while he's changing and getting into bed, without saying a word.
"Are you mad at me?" Robert can't help but ask as he stares at the ceiling.
"No. Why would I be mad?"
"Because of what happened earlier. The kiss and Ross walking in and-"
"I'm not mad about that Robert. It takes two people to kiss."
Robert feels better at that and smiles, even though Aaron probably can't see it through the darkness.
"But about the kiss though...it was something in the moment okay? It didn't mean anything."
"Right. Just two dude bro pals kissing." Robert agrees.
"Exactly."
They stay silent after that, and Robert falls asleep long before Aaron' breaths get even.
-
The next week is filled with exams and stress, at least on Robert's part. Aaron doesn't seem to stress too much about it, but Robert can see that he's worried before they take one, based on the way he’s continuously biting his nails, an unusual habit.
When Friday finally comes, the entire student body is already buzzing with excitement for the upcoming parties and the winter break.
Robert arrives at the frat house around 5 in the afternoon, and everyone in the house is already putting out drinks, pushing the breakable items to the side or stacking them in the cramp basement.
Aaron is in their shared room, going through his closet with nothing but boxers on.
"Hi." Robert greets and sets his backpack down on his bed. "Excited for tonight?"
Aaron turns around from the closet and nods, not missing how Robert's eyes immediately fall down to his tattooed chest. "Of course. I haven't gotten drunk in so long."
"And I haven't taken care of you in so long either."
"Exactly." Aaron winks.
He takes out a pair of tight jeans and a white shirt with something drawn on it, before pulling out a new pair of briefs. Robert takes it as a sign to turn around and go shower so Aaron can change and he so can get ready for the party too.
His shower takes a bit longer than usual, maybe because he fits a very well-deserved, long due, wank in there. He then dresses up with a long sleeved grey shirt that he unbuttons all the way to his chest, a pair of black skinny jeans and his usual white converse.
It’s half past seven when the boys are all gathered downstairs, so Robert joins them for pre-drinks. He engages in a conversation with Dave, and there’s something in the back of Robert’s head that’s telling him he might hook up with this guy later tonight.
Robert is already tipsy a couple of hours later, when people are finally starting to show up at the party with loud cheers and yells.
Aaron climbs up on the ping-pong table they’re going to play beer pong on a bit later, and raises a red cup in the air with a giant smile. Robert can tell he’s the very least extremely tipsy.
“To the end of the exam period! And to winter break!”he yells, wobbling as he brings the cup to his mouth.
Everyone yells and raises their cups, Robert included. There’s some whiskey and maybe a lot of Coke to cover up the taste in Robert’s cup, but he doesn’t mind.
He knows Dave’s been watching him quite intently for the entire night, but his eyes are glued to Aaron. Helooks so good in that white shirt and those extremely tight jeans that show off his muscular thighs and incredible ass that Robert wouldn’t mind biting into.
Ross helps Aaron get down from the table, and Aaron thanks him with a giant, sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth.
“I think you should go to Robert for that.”Ross tells him, loud enough so Robert hears him from a few feet away.
“Shh!!! Robert isn’t supposed to know I want to kiss him, remember?”Aaron slurs and laughs.
Robert makes eye contact with Ross, who looks at him knowingly.
“Well, I’m sure that the desire to hook up is mutual, so you should find him and maybe hook up with him. But please stop clinging to me because I’m trying to find this girl I’ve been chatting up for the past month-“
“Bros before hoes bro…but I see how it is. Farewell.”
Aaron is so incredibly pissed, Robert thinks as he walks over to Aaron who has a bit of trouble standing straight.
“Harrryyyy Styyyleees the one and only. My savior…my…guy who blew me in the library. Incredible. Good job by the way. You had a gag reflex though. I don’t. Do you know? I mean…I think I don’t have a gag reflex. Tried it with a banana once. Didn’t gag. Amazing right?”Aaron quickly talks, with no brain to mouth filter apparently.
“Alright…well you need to lay down for a bit, or else my head will explode from your blabbering.”
“It wouldn’t be a great loss…well…depends on which head you’re referring to.”Aaron says and puts an arm around Robert’s neck to stabilize himself. “I got an idea!”
“What now?”
“Hookah! We’ve got some outside by the pool! Come on! I want you to show me your smoke tricks. That is, if you know any.”
“Fine, let’s go.”Robert determinedly agrees, because he’s always been a sucker for challenges, especially if it means that he’ll get to see Aaron letting smoke out of his mouth up close and personal.
Robert sits down on a lounge chair by the pool, and watches Aaron as he walks over to the hookah stand, grabs the last one with everything he needs, and returns.
Aaron sits down across from him so that their knees are touching, and the hookah is placed at their feet next to the lounger. Aaron fiddles with the charcoal to get it as concentrated as possible, before he takes the hose to his lips and takes a long drag.
The smoke that smells like cherry hits Robert right in the face once Aaron exhales it, a small smirk playing on his face.
“Your turn Sugden.”
Robert takes the hose out of Aaron’hand.
“Smoke rings, five of them. I dare you.”Aaron tells him with a mischievous, drunken grin.
Robert tries to do as told, but he miserably fails at the third one that comes out with a choke. Aaron snorts and takes the hose back.
“Watch and learn.”
Aaron takes a long drag, and lets ten perfect smoke rings one after the other, right into Robert’s face.
“Well, I can’t say I’ve had too much experience with this.”Robert says in his defense.
“There’s a first time for everything right?”
“Right.”
They pass the hose from one to the other after that, without saying much else.
“So I heard you talking to Ross about kissing me earlier.”are Robert’s chosen words to interrupt the silence.
“Pff. Where did you hear that?”
“I just told you, you were talking to Ross.”
“You’ve been severely misinformed.”
“I heard it coming out of your mouth.”
“How about you come in my mouth.”Aaron says and smirks, eyes lazily looking over at Robert through his eyelashes.
Robert is speechless for a couple of seconds, not believing that those words just came out of Aaron’mouth.
“Um-what?”
“What?”Aaron pretends as if he hadn’t said anything just a few seconds ago.
“Well, you’re clearly drunk.”
“But not drunk enough. C’mon, let’s go get something to drink.”
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”Robert asks when he sees Aaron trying to get up but falling back on the lounger due to lack of balance.
“Nope. I’m going to have enough when I’m dead.”
“That’s the motto.”
“See? You’re not that stupid Sugden.”
“I was being sarcastic, just so you know.”
Aaron shushes him and grabs a hold of Robert’s wrist, before he pulls him towards the door that leads back inside.
They –unsurprisingly- end up back in the kitchen, where Aaron grabs a tequila bottle from the counter, one of the last bottles standing. He stares at Robert for a moment, before he suddenly jumps on the island counter with a mischievous smirk on his face.
“What?”Robert asks, confused.
“Body shots.”
Robert’s eyes widen, and he bites his lip in interest. This might be the best idea Aaron’ever had.
“Sure.”
Aaron then proceeds to lay down on his back, but not before pulling his shirt over his head.
“Pass me a slice of lemon and some salt.”
Robert does as asked. He places the lemon between Aaron’teeth and licks a fat stripe along Aaron’neck, where he shakesthe salt.
“Now pour it into my belly.”
“I know what to do.”Robert hisses and crouches down to reach Aaron delicious belly better.
He pours the drink in his belly button, licks it up just as quickly, and then advances to Aaron’neck where he licks up all the salt. He sucks the lemon out of his mouth (they are out of lime apparently), and then spits it out.
“Your turn.”Aaron excitedly says as he gets up.
Robert takes his place on the counter, the shirt already on the floor. Aaron does the exact same ritual of putting a slice of lemon between his teeth and sprinkling salt on his neck.
“Nice tattoos.”He compliments as he spills some tequila on Robert’s belly.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve already told me-“the words die in Robert’s throat when Aaron takes the lemon out of his mouth, spits it out, and then goes back in for another kiss.
Robert’s hand comes to the back of Aaron’head to hold him close, just in case he decides to escape. He doesn’t, because their tongues are in too deep. One of Aaron’hands is traveling up and down Robert’s torso, fingers poking under his pants occasionally.
“Whoa, whoa, get a fuckin’room.”Finn says when he comes into a kitchen with an empty beer bottle in hand.
“Fuck off.”Aaron mumbles, but pulls away from a very disappointed and turned on Robert.
“Hey do you-“
“I think I’m gonna-oh God. I need to go throw up.”Aaron says and places his palm over his mouth, before running out of the room, probably not wanting to throw up in the full sink.
Robert pulls on his shirt, avoids Finn’s smirk as he exits the room, and goes to find Aaron.
“He went upstairs.”Ross tells him when Robert passes him on his way to the hallway. He’s pressing a girl into the wall, and she’s currently sucking on his neck as he makes eye contact with Robert.
He finds Aaron in his bathroom (surprisingly, his bedroom is unoccupied), hunched over the toilet, but not throwing up.
“You okay?”
“I wanted to throw up, but I’m okay now. Weird.”
“Wanted to throw up because you were kissing me?”Robert asks, leaning against the doorframe.
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Well, you’ve never really expressed your wish to kiss me.”
“Only when I’m drunk.”Aaron agrees, and Robert mentions that one time after their ‘date’, when they soberly kissed.
Aaron doesn’t say anything, but grabs a glass from above the sink to fill it with water so he can drink and make his headache go away.
“Oh fucking shit,”he swears when the glass slides between his wet fingers and crashes at his feet.
“Great. Get on the counter and I’ll grab a broom to clean it up. Try not to cut yourself.”
“I’ll try.”
After hearing his slurred voice, Robert knows he needs to hurry up with finding the said broom before Aaron hurts himself. He finds one in the storage closet at the end of the hall, and walks back quickly, almost stepping over a couple that is literally making out on the floor.
“What did you do?”Robert asks as soon as he sees blood in the sink.
“I dropped my phone and now my hand hurts like fuck.”
Robert cleans the shards quickly and then steps closer to Aaron, who’s sitting on the counter with a bloody hand over the sink.
“Shit, that’s pretty serious. You should see a doctor about that.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Can you put a bandage over it? It’s in the cupboard over there.”
Robert does exactly as Aaron tells him, and soon enough, Aaron’hand is wrapped in a tight bandage that won’t hold for long, and even though the cut is on his thumb.
“Do you want to lay down? You’re kind of zoning out on me. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I thought you wanted to kiss me.”Aaron pouts and honestly, how can Robert resist him?
Robert lunges forward, gets between Aaron’legs, and kisses him while placing his hands on his muscular thighs.
Aaron wraps his legs and arms around Robert like a koala to bring him closer into him, eager to be kissed. Robert turns his head to the right to let Aaron in even more, and before he knows it, Aaron’shirt is coming off.
“You like to get me naked huh?”Aaron mumbles against Robert’s lips with a smile.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t like it.”
“Shh.”
They kiss more after that, until Aaron fiddles with the hem of Aaron’shirt.
“You know, it’s only fair for you to be naked too.”
“Is it?”Robert smiles and lets him take his shirt off.
Once Aaron starts kissing his neck, Robert finds it mandatory to grip into the back of his thighs and walk out of the bathroom, towards the bed.
He gets on top of Aaron as soon as they hit the mattress and fits his hand into his jeans, only to find out that he’s not even hard.
“Is this not doing anything for you?”
“It’s the alcohol, sorry.”
Aaron’apology seems genuine, so Robert sighs and rolls off of him, realizing that he’s also only sporting a semi, in spite of the circumstances.
“Are we ever actually going to hook up properly?”Robert asks after a few moments of silence.
“What do you mean under properly?”
“I mean…I don’t know. Something that makes us both get off.”
“Well…as long as one of us is drunk, chances are quite slim.”
“Then stop kissing me when you’re drunk.”Robert says, burying his face in his hands. “Why can’t you kiss me when you’re sober?”
“I don’t know. Hey, speaking of sobriety, someone from this rehab facility called you last week.”
“What?”
Robert feels an empty feeling in his stomach, exactly like the feeling you get when you dream about falling right before you suddenly wake up. If that makes sense.
“You were downstairs with the rest of the guys and your phone rang like three times, so I finally answered, and there was someone asking me if I wished to take a call.”
“Did you take it?”
“Of course not. I’m not one for privacy invasion.”
The following silence tells Robert that Aaron wants to know why a rehab facility was trying to contact him.
“You want to know the story, am I right?”
“Yeah. I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but you know…you’ve had my cock in your mouth and I probably won’t remember it in the morning. And besides, it’s easier to tell the truth in the dark.”
Robert shakes his head but starts talking anyway.
“Well…it’s my mom. She’s been in and out of rehab for the past four years, ever since I was in Year 12.”
“Oh. What’s she in for? Depression? Eating disorder? Drug-“
“She’s an alcoholic.”
Aaron goes dead silent, and Robert can see his expression change even though the darkness. Robert takes it as a sign to continue.
“She’s been drinking ever since my dad left me, when I was about eleven.”
“Did she beat you?”
“No, but cleaning up after her every day she came home drunk around two in the morning and threw up everywhere wasn’t my cup of tea either. I finally managed to convince her to check herself in when I threatened her to call CPS, although I wasn’t going to call them.”
Robert bites his lip, waiting for an answer.
“And have you talked to her in the past four years?”
“No.”
Aaron makes a small pause, before asking him another question.
“Do you have any other siblings?”
“A sister, but she was already in Uni when my mother got hospitalized.”
“Is that why you’re always helping me? Because you feel sorry for me?”
Aaron turns on his side to look Robert dead in the eye.
“No, I want to help you because I don’t want you to end up like her, and because I know that you also have a hidden motive that makes you drink the way you do.”
“If this is a way of you asking me to tell you why I drink eight days a week, then it’s not a good one. I’m not going to tell you.”
“I wasn’t trying to do that. You’ll tell me when you feel like it.”
“Thanks. Can we just like…go to sleep for now? I feel like if I’m going to talk or keep my eyes open for much longer, I’m just going to throw up on you.”
“Please don’t do that.”Robert laughs and stretches an arm out so Aaron can cuddle up to him and lay his head on his chest.
But just when Robert thinks Aaron has passed out, he says:
“You know Robert, I’ve been thinking, and I promise you that we’re going to fuck once when we’re both sober.
And with that, he falls asleep.
Notes:
Thank you so much for waiting, I hope you liked this chapter :)
Thank you for the comments on the last chapter, they always make my day :D
! New chapter will be up on May 2nd/3rd, 5pm UK time !
☆ Follow me on Tumblr for more updates about the story ☆
Chapter 9: 9
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
This is by far the longest chapter ever, with about 6.3k words, so I hope you like it :) Beware of grammar mistakes, it hasn't been beta'd yet.
! Updates are on Saturdays/Sundays around 7pm UK time from now on !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Surprisingly, Robert doesn’t wake up with a pounding head or covered in vomit. However, he wakes up with Aaron attached to his side, a leg thrown over his thighs and his head resting on his chest as he lightly snores.
Robert tries shifting away, but even the tiniest move causes Aaron to frown and snuggle closer, which. Okay.
He gives up and decides to try and maybe get a bit more sleep; he’s on break anyway, might as well.
-
When he wakes up again, Aaron is gone, having left behind a cold spot on his chest and scrambled sheets. Robert gets up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom so he can brush his teeth and change into some new clothes, because he kind of stinks.
He finds half of the frat boys downstairs scattered around the kitchen and the living room, each one of them having a different type of breakfast, one looking more hungover than the next.
Aaron looks at him with cereal-filled cheeks when Robert sits down at the bar. One of the pledges is making coffee, so Robert kindly asks him for one and a bowl of cereal.
“So what are you doing over winter break?” Aaron asks him, probably to fill the silence and make conversation.
“Um…I don’t know. I’m probably going to stay here since…you know. I mean-I don’t know if you remember last night and what I told you about my mother-“
“I remember. S’okay.”
“Great then.” Robert breathes. “What about you?”
“I’m going back to Emmerdale for a week since me mom just gave birth to twins. Thank God she gave birth in November otherwise those twins would’ve stolen my thunder.”
“Why?”
“We’ll they’re born in November and I was born on Christmas Eve so-“
Robert is taken aback. “Wait your birthday is in less than a week?”
“Yeah?”
“And you’re not going to have a huge party for your twenty-first birthday?”
“Sadly, no I won’t. I will be home probably trying to avoid accidentally walking in on my mother breastfeeding,” he says and Robert cracks up, which makes Aaron smile. “I will be drinking with my mates though, probably spend New Year’s there too before I come back. Been a long time since I’ve seen everyone.” He adds.
Robert nods and changes the subject, wondering what he can do on Christmas and New Year’s Eve in Florida. He went to LA last year with Nick and his friends during winter break. Going home to an empty house clearly wasn’t an option, although he spoke on Skype with his sister, Vic.
“You’re going to stay in the frat house right?” Aaron asks him as he hands the empty bowl to the pledge.
“Probably. I mean, if it isn’t any trouble-“
“Robert, if it were trouble, I wouldn’t have asked you to temporarily move in in the first place. Also, no wanking or fucking in my bed.”
Robert is relived to hear that, so they change the subject to last night’s shenanigans, purposely leaving out their talks.
-
Aaron leaves two days later, so Robert takes his bed because it’s big and comfy and smells really good. Nevertheless, he doesn’t really like thinking about what possibly happened on it.
He gets a call two days before Christmas. It’s Vic, and it’s like ten in the morning in Florida, which means it’s evening in England.
“Hello?”
“Hi Robert!” she excitedly answers, which makes Robert immediately know that something is up and she’s about to deliver some new he’s not going to like. “How are you?”
“’m good, just about to go fetch lunch. You?”
“I was wondering whether you’d like to come home for Christmas and New Year’s Eve this year?”
“As in, get on the first plane to Manchester?”
“Yes, that would be great.”
“Why would I do that? I mean, not that I don’t want to, but did something happen?”
“Well, we haven’t spent Christmas together in so long as a family.”
“Wait. Does that mean-”
“I answered a call from the rehab facility and…she’s so desperate, Robert. She really wants to see us and apologize for everything. The visit doesn’t have to be longer than ten minutes, I promise.”
Robert isn’t too impressed, but it’s either spending Christmas alone in Florida, or spending Christmas with his sister in Manchester.
“Alright. I’ll get the next flight to Manchester as soon as possible. I’ll call you before I board the plane, okay?”
“Sure, bye Rob.”
There’s something about the way she says it that gets Robert smiling, before it sounds so familiar, he’s actually missed it.
“Bye Vic.”
He sits down on his bed after hanging up, smiling to himself.
-
Robert packs his bag that evening, and books a plane ticket to Manchester that’s supposed to leave in two hours, which means he’ll land in England around six in the afternoon, and will get to sleep off the jet lag in his sister’s apartment until Christmas Morning.
The airport is buzzing with people who are last minute rushing to their families. Robert’s got his suitcase in one hand, and his passport and ticket in the other.
He sends Ross a text, reminding him to feed Blue and make sure she doesn’t disappear while he’s gone, and then presses on Vic’s contact.
After he calls Vic from the plane, he’s actually contemplating whether this was a good idea; coming home to visit his mother after not seeing or talking to her in the past four years. He doesn’t know what she’ll say, or how she’ll react.
The flight takes ten hours, and it’s half past five when he lands in Manchester. And of course; it’s snowing. Just when Robert decided to wear jeans and a tank top to match the weather in Florida.
He spots Vic in the arrival section, with a big smile on her face and an even bigger baby bump. Robert is shocked, but at the same time extremely happy to see her.
“Oh my God.” Is the first thing he says to her as she hugs her, careful not to squish her belly too hard.
“Hiiii.” She smiles and kisses both his cheeks.
“How far along are you? Boy or girl?”
“Twenty eight weeks, so I’m almost there now. And it’s a boy.”
“Whoa. And why did I not know about this?” Robert asks, trying to seem mad but failing because his smile is too big.
“It just never came up.”
“Oh, mentioning that I’m going to be an uncle soon never came up in our weekly conversations?”
“No.”
“I’m happy for you and Jason. Are you also engaged now, or?”
“Not yet. Although I think he might propose soon. Oh, and one of his mates is hosting a New Year’s Eve party in Salford, and you’re coming with me, alright?”
“Right. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“I hope that’s not sarcasm in your voice.”
“God no.” Robert laughs and puts an arm around her shoulders as they walk towards the exit.
-
Vic lives in a nice flat in the center of Manchester with her boyfriend of three years, Jason. They’re both med students in their fourth year.
Robert settles in their guest bedroom, soon to be the nursery. The room hasn’t been painted and furnished yet, but they’re going to start after New Year’s.
Vic calls him for dinner, but Robert passes because he’s too exhausted and needs to sleep off the jet lag. He falls asleep right after sending Aaron a birthday message.
Robert wakes up with his face squished into the pillow and drool next to his mouth. He wipes it off after making a face, and sits up.
He checks his phone, and sees that it’s way past noon and that he has a message from Aaron.
Aaron: thank you uuu Robert Sugden :DDDD
He shakes his head with the smile at the text, knowing very well that Aaron definitely got drunk.
Vic and Jason are in the kitchen, already having lunch.
“Good morning sunshine.” Vic greets and Jason smiles.
“Hey.”
Robert slumps down on a seat by the table, and thanks Jason when he sets down a plate of spaghetti.
“Also, Merry Christmas.” She says and places a wrapped box in front of him.
“Oh shit, I didn’t get you anything.”
“Don’t worry about it little bro, you coming here for the holiday is a perfect gift.”
“Liar.” Robert laughs and unwraps his present. It’s filled with college books that he’s going to need the upcoming years and hasn’t bought yet. He gapes at them.
“These must’ve cost a fortune.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy them, you were always the type of person that would be happy if he got books as a present.”
Robert smiles and places them back in their box, before digging into the spaghetti.
“So what’s the plan for today?” he asks with his mouth full.
“Well, we’re going to visit mum in London.”
Robert’s whole body tenses, but he doesn’t object to it because he hasn’t seen his mother in more than four years.
-
They get to London by car, and Robert sleeps all the way through, still a bit shaken from jet lag.
The rehab facility is huge, modern and expensive, which has Robert thanking his rich grandparents for owning an insurance company. He’s never actually seen the building live, only on their website.
Vic talks to the lady at the reception, then a guard leads them through a few doors and down a long hallway, until they reach a big room with nothing but chairs and tables. It’s almost full, but there is an empty table in the corner with three chairs, obviously meant for them.
Jason has chosen to wait in the car, since only family members are allowed to visit during the holidays.
“Do you think it’s going to be weird?” Robert asks his sister. “Seeing her after so long.”
“Definitely. I wonder if she’s changed.”
“Yeah I hope…”
Robert’s words die in his throat when he sees their mother entering the room. She’s wearing a white bathrobe and matching white slippers. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail and she’s definitely aged and also lost a lot of weight.
She awkwardly smiles as she sits down across from them, with her hands in her lap.
“Hello.”
Robert gets a weird feeling at the sound of her voice; something he hasn’t heard in so long. He almost missed it.
“Hi mom.” Vic says, but Robert stays silent.
“I’ve tried calling you so many times.”
Their mother isn’t looking at them, instead she focuses on her nails, obviously ashamed for what she’s put them through, especially Robert.
“Didn’t think you’d show up today to be honest.”
“Well, we did. Merry Christmas.”
It’s the first time Robert talks, and that’s when their mother looks up.
“Robert.”
“That’s my name.”
Vic steps on his shoe under the table because his words come off a bit too harsh.
“So what happened in the past…four years?” their mother asks with a hopeful look in her eyes.
“Well I am for one seven months pregnant.” Vic starts and stands up for a few seconds so their mother can look at her bump with giant eyes.
“Oh my God! This is so exciting. Boy or girl?”
“Boy. We’re thinking of naming him Daniel.”
“That’s a beautiful name.”
Robert wants to snort, or roll his eyes but he doesn’t.
“What about you Robert? Anything new?”
“I’m attending a University in Florida which grandpa is paying for by the way, and I’m studying psychology.”
“That’s great. You both turned out great-“
“Not that it’s any thanks to you.” Robert tells her, and leans back in his chair.
“Robert!” Vic musters him. “We’re both happy you’re sober mum. How long has it been?”
“Ten months. If I reach twelve, they’re going to discharge me and let me go back home.”
“That’s great. We’re both glad to hear that.”
Robert then zones out of their conversation about Vic’s pregnancy and his mother’s sobriety, instead choosing to think about what Aaron might be doing. Or Pete. Or Finn. Aaron isn’t that special.
He takes out his phone to text him.
Robert : did u get drunk for ur 21st?
The reply comes two minutes later.
Aaron: I did, but it wasn ’ t a big deal here in Emmerdale :))
Robert smiles and pockets his phone, then coming back to the conversation at the table.
“Visiting hours are going to be over in a few minutes, so we better get going.” Vic says and their mother looks sad.
She deserves it, Robert thinks. After all she’s put us-ME through.
They get up from the table and after saying goodbye and kissing her, Vic already starts walking towards the door.
“Robert.”
He looks at his mother reluctantly. “What?”
“I’m so sorry. So, so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, really.”
“It’s fine.” Robert says, and he’s surprised to hear the honesty in his own voice. After all, he’s only wanted an apology after all these years. The partial reason he didn’t want to answer any of her calls was that he thought the said apology would never come.
Vic is watching them from the door, but doesn’t hurry him.
“What about girlfriends? I never really got to meet Kylie.”
“Well…Kylie was actually a he named Kyle. I’m gay, mom.”
His mother looks at him with anything but disgust. “I know.”
“What?”
“I’ve known since you were in middle school, I just always waited for you to tell me. I guess a rehab facility wasn’t the place I imagined you coming out to me.”
“Weird world.” Robert concludes and his mother smiles, before hugging him unexpectedly. He hugs her back and they stay like that for a bit, until the guard finally tells them that visiting hours are coming to a close.
“Bye mum. We’ll uh…we’ll talk. I guess.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” Is the last thing she says before Robert turns around and joins Vic on their way to the parking lot.
“Well that was intense.” She says when they’re finally in the car, on their way back to Manchester.
“Yeah…but it was sort of…relieving. I’m glad we did this, thanks.”
Vic smiles at him in the rearview mirror, and then Robert goes back to sleep.
-
The next week passes by really quickly, and it’s filled with road trips to Blackpool, Leeds, and Holmes Chapel, reuniting with his old friends, and helping Vic and Jason start painting the nursery. Which lands him a really nice sleeping spot on the couch in the living room, but he doesn’t mind.
It’s the 31st and the flat smells like Vic’s perfume combined with two different type of cologne and a whole load of hair gel.
After several attempts of Robert’s to gel his hair up, he decides on a scarf to put on his head, a plain white V-neck, his tightest black skinnies, and white converse to match the shirt.
“Jesus, I can’t even breathe from your cologne.” Vic coughs as she enters the living room with Jason in tow, both dolled up for the party.
“How are we getting there?” Robert asks as he puts on his coat because it’s snowing outside, not to mention it’s minus five degrees. He’s so used to the Florida weather, he wonders how he thought of putting a warm coat in his suitcase when he packed.
“I’m driving.” Vic tells him. “Since I can’t drink. And we’re also not staying there longer than one, because too much stress and standing up isn’t good for the baby. You’re probably going to stay longer because you’re going to enjoy yourself and probably find someone to hook up with.
Robert rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything because Vic is usually always right, although he’d never admit it out loud.
The ride to Salford doesn’t take longer than twenty minutes, and Robert smiles at the familiar looking neighborhood with identical brick houses. One of the houses stands out though, because there are a lot of cars in front of it, and there are lights flickering from inside, as well as loud music coming through the opened door.
Vic parks in front of the house across the street due to lack of space. It stopped snowing but it’s still cold because it’s way past 10pm, so they cross the street in a hurry.
A tall boy with blonde hair greets them at the door, and Robert learns that his name is Sam, and he’s hosting the party.
“And you must be Robert.” He loudly says, trying to cover the music as he shakes Robert’s hand. “Follow me, I’ll show you where to leave your coats.”
He guides them down the hallway, into the room at the end that’s filled with coats and bags and shoes.
“Just leave them wherever.”
Robert takes off his coat and places it on top of a dresser so he can find it when he leaves, but puts his phone in the back pocket of his jeans nonetheless.
“Let’s get a drink first.” Jason tells him, so they all make their way towards the kitchen. His phone buzzes in his pocket but he’s too busy filling his cup with some Coke and a bit of Vodka than to actually check it.
When Robert finally places the cup on the counter and takes his phone out, he sees that he has a message from Aaron.
Aaron: where r u now?
Robert: quoting JB huh :))
Aaron : no, srsly?
Robert: at a party in Salford, u?
He sets the phone next to the cup so he can take a sip. It lights up with another message that reads:
Behind you I think.
Robert’s heart starts beating faster and he turns around so abruptly that his drink almost spills out.
And there he actually is, with a soft scruff, dressed in skinny jeans, a Stone Roses shirt, and black Vans.
“Aaron?”
“It is I. Aaron.” He smiles and steps closer to Robert. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here with my sister Vic and her boyfriend. Their mate um-Sam I think? He’s hosting the party. You?”
“Sam’s one of Stan’s Uni friends and we used to go to school together. Stan being my best friend, of course.”
“Small world.” Robert says, and takes a long sip from his drink that burns his throat, but he doesn’t care. He’s going to need to be at least tipsy so he can make a move on Aaron. “How much did you drink since you got here?”
“Like, two beers. Not much. Why? Do you want me to get drunk?”
“No…well…no. Tipsy, maybe?”
“Why?”
“Because you never kiss me when you’re sober.” Robert says, even though he knows he’s told Aaron that before.
Aaron stares at him, and luckily they’re interrupted by Vic who coughs to get their attention.
“Hi, I’m Vic, Robert’s pregnant and very over-protective sister. And you are?”
“Aaron. Robert’s temporary roommate and idol.”
Robert snorts and Vic shakes his hand. “Well then, I’ll see you around Aaron. Use protection please.”
Robert blushes and Aaron laughs as they both watch her leave the kitchen.
“So about the whole kissing thing, I didn’t want to pressure you into kissing me you probably don’t want to anyways so-“
“Robert.” Aaron stops him from rambling by crowding up against him.
“Yeah?”
“Stop rambling and start drinking. It’s a party.”
Why does he always avoid the subject? Robert thinks but downs his drink anyway in two long gulps, before following Aaron out of the kitchen.
“Can you dance?” Aaron yells into his ear over the loud music once they reach the living room.
“Uh…I can try? I mean, I’ve danced before-“
“Oh shut up already and get behind me.”
“Now that is something I want to hear you say under other circumstances.” Robert whispers into his ear and does as asked.
He places his hands on Aaron’ waist and pulls him with his back against his own chest, before they start moving to the beat of the song.
Robert isn’t sure if Aaron is doing it on purpose or not, but the way Aaron’ ass is grinding into Robert’s groin is anything but unsexy.
“I already told you that I’ll let you fuck me when we’re both sober.” Aaron says into his ear, and wraps an arm around his neck.
“Is that why you won’t stop drinking?”
“Stop getting on my nerves.”
Aaron turns around abruptly and kisses him for a few seconds just on the lips, before he pulls away and grabs his hand.
“Where are we going?” Robert asks, as he’s being lead towards the stairs, although he has a general idea about where they’re going.
“Upstairs.”
“What for?”
“Stop asking so many questions all the damn time, just let go and enjoy the fucking moment for once.” Aaron tells him and then unlocks a door with a key he kept in his pocket.
“You plDianed this ahead?”
“I plDianed hooking up with someone, yes.” Aaron admits.
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t set my eye on anyone until you came.”
The room is dark and Aaron goes to turn on the bedside lamp to set the mood.
“Well I’m flattered.” Robert says and sits down on the bed, not really knowing what they’re going to do. “So what now?”
“Can I try something?” Aaron looks at him nervously.
“Sure? As long as-fuck.”
Robert’s swear is due to the fact that Aaron just dropped to his knees between his thighs.
“Are you going to-“
“Suck you off? Yeah. But I’ve never done it before so you can’t laugh at me.”
Fuck. Okay. Shit.
“Of course I won’t just-wow. Okay.”
Aaron unbuckles his belt and Robert lifts his bum, but he’s being pushed back down by Aaron who chooses to straddle his lap instead.
“What-“
“My mouth is dry so I have to…lubrify it a bit.”
They snog for a little while after Aaron says that, until he gets back on his knees and pushes his fringe out of his eyes. Robert then lifts up once again, so his pants and briefs can come off. His cock lays on his thigh, hard and heavy.
“Jesus.” Aaron breathes and takes Robert into his hand.
He starts pumping his shaft up and down, which makes Robert groan and lean back on his palms.
“Does it feel good?”
“Feels amazing.” Robert is quick to answer because he wants Aaron to already get to the point.
“So do I just-take it into my mouth?”
“Ye-ah.”
Aaron looks Robert directly in his eye when he takes him into his mouth and Robert’s mouth goes slack. Aaron’ mouth feels too good and hot on his cock.
He slides his hands in Aaron’ hair to guide him up and down just the way he likes it.
“No teeth.” Robert says when he feels Aaron’ teeth grazing his underside.
“Shit, sorry.”
“No, it’s-it’s fine. You’re doing great.”
Aaron then starts playing with his balls which-okay, Robert has a soft spot for guys who do that, and the hand not holding his cock is placed on Robert’s stomach.
His thighs are trembling but he wants to make it last more for Aaron, even though he hasn’t had an orgasm in two weeks, maybe more. His mind is a bit cloudy at the moment, filled with AaronAaronAaron.
“Can you fuck my mouth?” Aaron asks and pulls off his cock with a pop.
“I-what?”
Robert is zoomed on the way Aaron’ lips are shining from spit and precum.
“Can you fuck my mouth?”
“What if you choke?”
“Try me.” Aaron dares him and Robert is happy to oblige.
He settles both his hands back into Aaron’ fluffy hair, and then proceeds to buck his hips up repeatedly until he hits the back of Aaron’ throat.
“What the-“
“Come on, deeper.”
“I’m literally bottomed out.” Robert tells him in awe, completely shocked of how deep he can get into Aaron’ mouth without him choking.
“No gag reflex.”
The way he winks so confidently makes Robert’s stomach clench and his hands tighten in Aaron’ hair.
The moment Aaron takes him in all the way until his nose hits Robert’s skin is the moment Robert warns he’s about to cum.
“I’m not going to last much longer.”
“I’m that good huh?”
Robert doesn’t respond but Aaron is right. Embarrassingly, it might be the best blowjob he’s ever gotten. Also, the quickest one of them all. But you can’t blame him really, because Aaron looks too good looking up at him through his long lashes and sucking like his life depends on it.
Robert cums down Aaron’ throat with a low moan, and stays there until the aftershocks fade. Aaron pulls off of him with a grin and wipes his mouth, pleased.
The door suddenly opens and a short guy is staring at them with a large smirk.
“Well, if you crazy lovebirds are done shagging, you should come down because midnight is five minutes away and we’re lighting fireworks.”
Robert expects the guy to leave because he’s naked and Aaron is on his knees in front of him, but the guy walks over, high-fives Aaron, and then leaves with a salute.
“Who…?”
“That would be my best mate, Stan. Who’s going to get a really cold snow bath later.”
Aaron gets up and rubs his knees, complaining that his legs have gone numb. He waits for Robert to stand up from the bed and pull up his jeans, and they leave only after checking themselves out in the mirror.
Everyone attending is gathered outside in the back garden, ready for the fireworks and 2016.
“Where have you been?” Vic asks him when she finds Robert wrapped up in his coat, with his headscarf now wrapped around his neck.
“Um…upstairs. With Aaron.”
Vic looks at him with a proud look on her face.
“Is that the Aaron you’re talking about?” Jason asks, pointing at Aaron, who’s currently bent over a firework talking to Stan, wearing a jacket that’s way too big for him.
“Um, yeah? You know him?”
“Oh I know him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I lived in Emmerdale until Uni, that’s where I know Sam and other people from. Stan, Sam, Aaron and I were like a team, always together until he chose to go to Uni in America, and we chose to stay in Manchester or Sheffield.”
“Is there something wrong with him or?” Robert asks, unsure in which direction the discussion is going, or where Jason’s getting at.
“No, there isn’t something wrong with him. I’m just surprised that you guys did stuff since, you know.”
“I know what?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Robert is getting impatient.
“I’m not sure whether I should be the one telling you this.”
“Well you started it, so know you have to tell me. I won’t say anything, promise.”
“Alright. Well, Aaron’ biological father was this giant homophobic racist douchebag that was never really accepting of the way Aaron was…and chose to express himself I guess.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…he wore these really eccentric colorful clothes and suspenders…and I guess his dad thought those made him a ‘faggot’.”
“Did he hurt Aaron?”
“No. I mean, not that I know of. But it got to the point when he wasn’t allowed to hang out with us anymore because it was too ‘gay’. And when his father left them out of the blue, Aaron didn’t really know whether it was good or bad. He pretended like he was happier that way, but once his mother started dating again he was really sad.”
“So then why are you surprised we did something?”
“Because he was rarely ever single, always had a girlfriend or a bird to shag. He even used the f-word on a couple of occasions but we didn’t say anything to him because it was normal for him to act this way, because of his father. I don’t know, I guess I always thought of him as a raging homophobe so…it’s weird. But I’m happy he’s not who I thought he was.”
Robert nods and finally tears his eyes away from Aaron, who’s finished talking to Stan and is now heading over to Robert.
“One minute ‘till midnight!” Sam announces and wraps his arm around a girl next to him.
“Hey.” Robert says when he sees Aaron stop next to him, quite close.
“Hi. Do you have a kiss for midnight?”
“Um…no. You?”
“Are you asking me if I got a kiss or if I am your kiss?”
“Both? I guess.”
“Well, I guess I won’t die if I kiss you for a couple of seconds when the clock strikes.” Aaron answers in a sarcastic tone, but with a big smile on his face. Robert thinks he’s adorable, even with a red nose and disheveled hair.
Aaron shuffles closer to him when the countdown starts, and Robert buries his freezing hands in the pockets of his coat.
“Five! Four! Three!” everyone yells at once, so he turns his head to Aaron, who is already watching him with an unreadable expression on his face.
“One! Happy New Year!”
Aaron pulls Robert down by his scarf, before everyone chants the last second, so he can kiss him slow and hard. It’s weird, kissing Aaron Dingle, the number one annoying person on his blacklist, to ring in the New Year.
“Fireworks.” Aaron whispers and pulls away to go and light one just as he’d plDianed, but Robert doesn’t let him go. Instead, he pulls him back in for a kiss that lasts way longer and is way deeper this time.
“What are you doing?”
Aaron is breathless as he whispers against his lips, eyes blown completely wide and unsure.
“Trying to make this last as long as possible.”
“What does as long as possible mean?”
“Until we have to go back to the US?” Robert tries.
“You’d like kissing me until we go back to Uni?”
“No, I’d like you to be nice to me until we go back.”
Fireworks explode in the sky and people cheer along, but neither of them looks away from the other. When Aaron kisses him, Robert takes it as an answer.
-
“Today’s our last day in England Harold, what do you want to do?” Aaron asks Robert over the phone the following day around noon, when Robert wakes up on Vic’s couch with the pillow imprinted on his face.
“Well um…first of all, I want to take a shower because I stink. And then…are ice rinks open today?”
“I know one that’s open twenty-four seven during the holidays.”
“Alright. Let’s go there then.”
“Is that what you want to do? Go ice skating when you can have me all to yourself?”
“Yeah.” Robert answers, although he’s lying. He just kind of wants to go ice-skating with Aaron because it seems like the date-y thing to do, even though Aaron probably doesn’t consider it as such.
“What a gentleman. Okay then. I’ll come pick you up at half past six because the last round starts at seven.”
“Great. I’ll sleep until then.”
“Or, you could pack your bags.” Aaron suggests and Robert can hear his smile even through the phone.
“Sleep it is.”
He’s woken up by his alarm at six o’clock sharp, so he can have time to take a shower and put on some proper clothes.
Aaron arrives in a taxi in front of the building at half past on the dot, and Robert’s surprised because it may be the most punctual he’s ever been.
“You’re on time.” Robert observes when he gets into the taxi with a smile.
“Well, it got quite boring at Sam’s house. All they were doing is cleaning.”
“So as a last resort you chose to call me.”
“Yep.” Aaron smiles. “Also, you’re paying.”
“Why am I paying?”
“Because you asked me out.”
“Jesus, alright. I’m paying.”
The ice-rink is packed with people when they get there, so they have to wait some time before they can finally pay for some skates, which they put on standing.
“I’m just going to warn you now, I haven’t been ice skating in a long time, so if I fall, you have to fall first.” Aaron tells him as they enter the ice. He’s clinging to Robert’s arm as they skate their first steps.
“I have to know you’re going to fall before you actually fall so I can break my neck but you can make it out without a scratch. Did I get it right?”
“Mhm. Perfect.” Aaron smiles and finally lets go of Robert’s arm, only to grip into his wrist. “I think you have to hold my hand.”
Robert doesn’t put up too much of a fight as they tangle their cold hands together and begin skating. Aaron is holding him back but Robert doesn’t mind pulling him along as Aaron yells out instructions.
At one point Robert’s had enough and lets go of him, but Aaron is quick to wrap his hands around his waist and cling onto him.
“I’m not going to let you go.” He smiles and Robert untangles Aaron’ arms from his body to guide him into the boards.
“You’re getting on my nerves, you know that?”
“Then shut me up.” Aaron dares him with a smirk.
“Alright.”
Robert leans over to press their lips together in what he intends to be an innocent kiss, but Aaron turns it into a full-blown makeout session.
“There are kids around.” He whispers against Aaron’ lips, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“Does it look like I care? Now kiss me or else my lips will get cold.”
“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever-“
He’s interrupted by Aaron’ lips attacking his own, so they get into a battle of who dominates who. He lets Aaron win-of course.
“Harold, come on. I’ll give you the pleasure of buying me a hot chocolate.”
They skate across the rink where a man sells tea and hot chocolate, and Robert buys two cups of hot chocolate.
“Shit, this burns my tongue.” Aaron complains as he hops up on the board. Robert skates and comes to a halt between his legs. “And it tastes like shit. Even your cum tastes better.”
“That’s because I eat a lot of fruit and exercise regularly.”
“Oh, bite my ass.”
“I’d like to eat it actually.” Robert admits, and makes Aaron choke on his own tongue.
“You can’t just say things like that in public!”
“Why not? You like it.”
Aaron doesn’t deny that, so they spend the next few minutes drinking in silence, and then they make out a bit more.
When someone announces through the speakers that they should leave the ice in five minutes, Aaron takes Robert’s hand and guides them both back towards the exit.
“So what now?” Robert asks when they leave the ice-rink and head down towards a taxi station.
“Well, I have a plane to catch at twelve, so I’m probably going over to Sam’s so I can pack.”
“I thought you came to visit your mum in Emmerdale.”
“I did, but I left on the day before New Year’s Eve to help the lads get the house ready.”
“Oh. Right.”
Robert thinks he may also be able to catch the plane at midnight, so he kisses Aaron on the cheek. When the taxi stops in front of Vic’s building, gives Aaron some money, and then gets out of the car.
-
He hasn’t talked to Aaron since he got out of the taxi, nor did he see him at the airport or when they boarded the plane. He must’ve missed his flight.
Robert thinks about calling him, but the air hostess asks everyone to turn their phone off because they’re going to take off in a bit. He looks at the empty seat next to him, kind of glad that he doesn’t have anyone sitting next to him so he can watch his business class movies in peace, but then someone stops right next to him, bumping their knee against Robert’s elbow.
“Excuse me, I think you might be in my seat?”
Robert’s head shoots up at the familiar voice, and he mirrors the smile Aaron has on his face at the sight of him.
“You’ve got seat 17B?”
“Yeah, I’m a window man.”
“What a coincidence yet again, huh?” Robert asks and gets up to let Aaron sit down by the window.
“Yeah. Well, our last names do start with letters that are next to each other in the alphabet, and I decided to treat myself to a nice business class flight.”
“Fair enough.”
The seatbelt sign lights up, and a few minutes later they’re finally in the air, with the ability to do anything they want. Well, not quite anything, but Robert’s pretty sure kissing is allowed. And he’s about to lean over when Aaron stands up to go to the bathroom.
Robert looks at the ticket Aaron pinned on the back of the seat in front of him, and realizes that it’s an economy seat. He smiles, wondering how the hell Aaron managed to sneak in business class with no trouble at all.
When Aaron comes back, Robert’s already put on a random movie on his TV, but Aaron demands to get one of the earphones.
His head settles on Robert’s shoulder as they watch the movie, until Robert can’t take Aaron’ sweet smell any longer and has to pull away.
“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks with a confused expression.
Robert answers by kissing him swiftly, as if to ask if it’s okay.
“I thought we’d agreed to only do this in England.”
“Well, technically our clocks are still set after the time in UK and we’re in the air…so…”
Aaron smiles at that and doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back with eagerness.
Spending the holiday back in England didn’t turn out half as bad, Robert thinks and smiles against Aaron’ lips.
Not bad at all.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
I've worked really hard on this chapter and it's my favorite one so far, so I'd like to see what you thought of it !
! New chapter will be up on May 16th, around 5pm UK time !
☆ Follow me on Tumblr for more updates about the story ☆
Chapter 10: 10
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
This is by far the longest chapter ever, with about 6.3k words, so I hope you like it :)
! Updates are on Saturdays/Sundays around 7pm UK time from now on !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Their friendship does change once they’re back to the frat house. Aaron stops being sarcastic and annoying, and Robert stops insulting his height and strength. It’s weird, but somehow, it’s better.
Robert applies for a new dormitory in the first weekend after they’re back to school, and Aaron acts pleased about it, saying that he’s finally going to be able to masturbate in peace.
“Shut up, you’re going to miss me.” Robert tells him that Saturday night when they’re both in the room. Robert is working on an assignment Aaron should also be working on but isn’t. Aaron is playing on the PS4.
He’s sitting on the bed with his legs crossed under himself, and he’s wearing a big FSU hoodie (that’s actually Robert’s) and he looks so tiny Robert just wants to put him in his pocket. Well, after he completely wrecks him but that’s not the point.
“You’re right, who else is going to clean around here? I would be lost without you s’the truth.”
“You are a slob.”
“Am not!” Aaron protests. “You’re just a clean freak.”
Robert sighs, because Aaron is right and also because he likes it when Aaron smiles, thinking he’s right.
“So no party tonight? It’s a Saturday night after all.”
“Well it’s Ross’s 21st on Tuesday, but we’re going to celebrate him next weekend since he went home yesterday. Which also means that I’ve got a joint in my bedside table that needs to be smoked. Care to join me?”
“Um, no thank you. Aren’t you afraid of the drug test they put you up to when you go to medical check-ups?”
“Not really.” Aaron carelessly answers and pauses the game so he can reach out to his bedside table and get out the joint.
Robert watches him light it, and then take two long drags before letting the smoke out.
“You sure you don’t want a smoke?” Aaron asks again, pointing the joint at Robert.
Robert hesitates, and Aaron knows he’s won when he gets up from his bed. Robert sits down next to him with a smile, putting a leg under himself.
He takes the spliff from Aaron and does just as Aaron did a few seconds ago.
“You’ve ever smoked weed before?”
Robert shrugs. “If I did, I don’t really remember.”
“So no. Jesus, talk about being a virgin.”
“I’m definitely not a virgin.”
“Oh really? Who was the last person and when was the last time you’ve had sex with?” Aaron questions, turning his entire body towards Robert so he can look at him properly.
“Um…I think it was a few months ago.”
“How many, to be more specific?”
“Um…six?”
“Over half a year? Jesus Christ!” Aaron exclaims and begins laughing. “I’ve had sex last week.”
Robert’s face falls. “What? When?”
“You were at this seminar and I had a cheerleader over.”
“Oh.”
“And who did you last have sex with?” Aaron asks, changing the subject.
“Nick.” Robert says, reluctantly.
Aaron gives him a disgusted look but he doesn’t say anything. He chooses to focus on the spliff that he’s currently holding between his fingers instead.
“What do you have against Grimmy? You’ve never told me, only that you just can’t stand him and that’s it. For no apparent reason.”
“I’m not sure whether I should tell you this.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I’ve never told anyone about this before.” Aaron says and Robert knows it must be something really important since Aaron isn’t one to miss an opportunity to bash someone he can’t stand.
“Smoking weed makes it easier, c’mon.”
“Alright. But you can’t judge me or tell anyone.”
“This is like fifth grade all over again.” Robert laughs but then manages to keep a straight face while being high, so Aaron can tell him.
“So…I’m in my first year of Uni right? Just escaped from home, I’m on my own, and I’m ready to try something new.” Aaron starts.
He’s a good storyteller when he’s high, Robert observes.
“And there’s this party during rush week to recruit new pledges. So after I befriend Bryan, we decide to attend because why not? We’ve always wanted to be a part of a fraternity. So. We head over to the ABZ party, and I get drunk in like, the first hour.”
“Of course you did.” Robert says and then suddenly starts laughing way too hard.
“Jesus, you’re really high. Anyway, back to my story. I’m drunk off my ass and Bryan is off somewhere with a girl, so I stumble into the kitchen, where Nick is chatting up some guy. I’ve never known someone gay until then, so I was really curious to see-“
“We’re not like wild animals, Jesus.” Robert laughs.
“Yeah but like…it was new to me. I don’t know. Anyway, then Nick saw me and ditched the guy to come and flirt with me, obviously.”
“Nick fucked you.”
“Will you let me fucking finish?” Aaron angrily says.
“Go on.”
Robert takes the joint from Aaron as he continues to tell his story.
“So he flirts with me, and mind you, I was really stupid and kind of blind back then, so of course I flirted back because I though he was attractive.”
“Oh my God.”
“We then danced together and one thing led to another, and then we were kissing.” Aaron continues, completely ignoring Robert’s surprised expressions. “He took me up to his room and then he fucked me. Of course, I only remembered like half of it the next day, but he didn’t remember anything. Or at least he claims not to. And when I asked if he didn’t remember it because he was drunk, he said that he wasn’t that drunk, but I wasn’t something to remember really. Which, rude.”
“Oh God!” Robert exclaims and laughs.
“What?”
“I thought you hated him because he ditched you the next morning and you were like, in love with him.”
“Ew, no! Nick Grimshaw is definitely not my type.”
“Because he’s a guy?”
“No, because he’s rude, and thinks he’s the best person in the world.”
“Well, you also think that.” Robert points out, but Aaron just shrugs. “About yourself, I mean.”
“So? I like myself, I’m confident. But not Nick Grimshaw style.”
“Anyway, how was it? Your first gay sex experience?”
“Are you trying to suck information out of me because I’m high?” Aaron asks.
“No, I’m just plain curious.”
“Well, I mean, it was good because he hit that spot inside me arse that was like wow, and he’s not a bad kisser so. But I still hate him though, don’t get me wrong.”
Robert looks at the clock. “We’ve literally just spent like half an hour talking about Nick.”
“We’re high, it doesn’t count.”
There’s a short silence after that, filled with smoke and a few giggles, and then Aaron asks, “Have you ever shotgunned before?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to do it now?”
Robert looks at his lips, and then back at his face. “Of course I do.”
Aaron smirks, obviously self-satisfied as he takes a long drag and leans in. Robert holds his breath for a moment, until their open mouths touch and Aaron exhales the smoke. Robert inhales it and holds it for a few seconds, before letting it out slowly.
“Well, wasn’t half bad, right?” Aaron asks and laughs, pulling back.
“So this is what you do all day? Smoke weed and play Fifa?”
“Sometimes.”
Robert grabs a controller and asks to join the game, even though Aaron warns him that he’s going to miserably fail at beating him.
It ends up being true, Aaron wins three games with a difference of at least three points.
“You’re a horrible Fifa player.” Aaron concludes and places his controller on the bedside table. “’m gonna go take a piss.”
“Thanks for announcing that.”
Robert gets off the bed once Aaron disappears in the bathroom and goes to his bed. He shuts off his laptop and sits down on his bed with his phone in his hands. He texts Vic back, and then opens his Snapchat to see three new photos from Finn, Pete, and one that was just sent by Aaron from the bathroom with a silly face. He smiles and replies with the same face.
When Aaron comes out of the bathroom, he’s shirtless. He throws himself down on the bed and turns on the TV. He checks the clock on his phone, before announcing that it’s already past midnight.
“I’m in the mood for a movie. Care to join me?” he asks Robert, who is surprised and also pleased by the offer.
“Sure. But not without popcorn.”
“I think we have some downstairs. And ice cream.” Aaron says and gets up from the bed once again.
Robert follows him down to the kitchen where they put the popcorn in the microwave and take the ice cream out of the freezer.
“What movie are we watching?” he asks Aaron as the popcorn pops every other second.
“I don’t know, there’s a horror movie in like five minutes.”
“Alright.” Robert says with a reluctant look on his face.
“Oh Sugden, don’t tell me you’re scared.”Aaron smirks and opens the microwave door once it rings.
“I’m not scared, I’m just saying that I’d like to sleep a bit tonight.”
“You’re in the same room with me, of course you’re not going to be sleeping.”
Robert wants to ask whether that’s a sexual proposition or not, but he doesn’t. That’s probably how he talks to everyone without even realizing his words sometimes have a double meaning.
They grab the popcorn and the ice cream, before they head upstairs. The house is fairly quiet, and Robert realizes it’s already past one in the morning.
They settle in Aaron’ bed, their backs against the headboard as they turn on the TV. The horror movie hasn’t started yet, but the bag of popcorn is already opened and Aaron is eating handfuls, but Robert doesn’t mind. He thinks Aaron looks really cute with his cheeks filled as he chews.
“Stop staring at me.” Aaron tells him without even looking at Robert.
“You look like a hamster. It’s cute.”
“I’m not cute, I’m manly. And rough.”
“And rugged.” Robert adds with a laugh.
“You know it baby.”
There’s something in Robert’s stomach that turns at the pet name that probably wasn’t meant seriously.
The movie finally starts so Aaron turns off the bedside lamp ‘for the movie to be even scarier’ as he put it. It’s a movie Robert hasn’t seen before, and of course it starts with teenagers traveling in a car somewhere to have fun, like most of the horror movies usually do.
Robert already knows who’s probably going to be the last man standing; usually the quiet smart girl that doesn’t really say anything in the first few scenes.
Aaron gets under the covers at one point after the pregnant lady shoots herself in the mouth and everyone has to get rid of her. He lays his head on the pillow, arms under his head, and Robert doesn’t know whether it would be convenient for him to do the same.
“Are you just going to sit there like a brick or follow my actions?” Aaron answers Robert’s mental question, so Robert is embarrassingly quick to do as he just pointed out.
It’s warmer under the covers, and their thighs are touching but they’re focused on the movie. Maybe a bit too focused in Robert’s opinion, because he’s sure that they can both feel the slight tension in the room.
“So who do you think is going to die first?” Robert asks, trying to ease the tension by making chitchat.
“I’ve already seen this movie Harold, I won’t spoil it for you.”
“I bet it’s that rude guy with the curls.”
“Yeah, the guys with the curls are always rude.”
“Really? I think they’re kind of cute.” Robert says, playing along to Aaron’ banter.
“Okay maybe some guys with curls are cute, but definitely not this one. I mean, look at his face for Christ’s sake. He probably has a really small dick, that’s why he’s a fucking asshole.”
“That theory isn’t necessarily true.”
“And you know this from experience?” Aaron asks, finally turning to look at him so that their noses are almost touching.
“Yeah, I’ve got living proof right in front of me.”
“So you’re saying I have a huge cock but I’m an asshole?”
“Yeah, you’re an asshole.”
“But you want to suck my dick.” Aaron adds, winking at him in a way that makes Robert actually wish he would be sucking his dick right now. Instead, he chooses to sit up against his elbow and fill his mouth with a spoonful of ice cream.
“Trying to avoid the subject by eating ice cream huh? Been there, done that.”
“I’m not avoiding anything.”
“So you admit that you’d like sucking my dick?”
Robert takes another spoonful of ice cream, answering Aaron’ question. Aaron’ eyes flicker to Robert’s lips for a second, and everything stops. Robert swallows the ice cream, licks his lips, and then leans in.
He’s not sure whether Aaron is going to pull away, so he’s doing it in a really slow place.
“Are you a fuckin’ snail or something? Why are you moving so slow?” Aaron breathes against Robert’s lips, which makes Robert laugh.
“No, but I’m not sure if you…want to.”
“When have I ever pulled away when you tried to kiss me?”
Robert smiles but Aaron doesn’t waste anymore type so he just gets on top of Robert and cups his face with both his hands as their lips crash together.
Aaron tastes like chocolate and cigarettes, which shouldn’t be attractive but it drives Robert mad. His hands grip into Aaron’ hipsfor a few seconds, before Robert lets them travel down all the way to grip hisamazing ass.
“How come I’ve never complimented your ass?” Robert asks against his lips as he kneads it.
“You have. I’m sure of it.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I’ve never complimented your ass out loud.”
“So you’ve thought about it a lot, hm?” Aaron whispers, smiling.
“Shut up and kiss me.”
So Aaron does, with such an incredible force that knocks Robert’s breath right out of his lungs. Their kiss heats up and that’s why Aaron probably decides to kick the blanket off with his legs as he settles between Robert’s legs. His hands lay neatly on his chest as they kiss, more slowly this time.
Robert starts to get an unsettling feeling in his stomach as they’re kissing, that familiar feeling of butterflies he’s been getting lately every time Aaron is around. In order to try and take control of the situation, he flips them over so Aaron lies on his back underneath him, one of Robert’s legs wedged between Aaron’.
“You’re hard.” Robert says against his lips as they make a short pause to breathe.
“You are too but I’m not bitching about it. How about continuing to watch the movie? We’ve missed out quite a bit.”
Robert rolls off of Aaron with a sigh, turning his eyes to the TV. The group has finally found a house and a disabled man in a wheelchair greets them unpleasantly.
“Jesus, the guy with the curls really is an asshole.” Robert laughs at one point.
“And not good-looking at all.”
They watch the movie in silence after that, but it’s too obvious that they’re both incredibly aware of their closeness. Blue jumps on their bed at one point, and Robert’s completely forgotten about her, what with all the kissing going on.
“Stop staring.” Robert tells him when he can feel Aaron looking at him quite insistently.
“I want to watch your reaction during the scary parts. It’s my favorite thing to do when I show someone a film I like.”
For a moment Robert thinks that Aaron is saying he likes to watch him, but the last part of the sentence disappoints him.
When the movie finishes Robert can’t say he’s impressed; he’s seen scarier movies, but he tells Aaron that he liked it but he’s getting sleepy.
“You’re no fun.” Aaron pouts and turns on his side to properly face Robert. He turns off the TV, which leaves the entire room in plain darkness, except of the light coming from the balcony door.
“I am plenty of fun when I’m not sleepy.”
“Oh really? What do you mean?”
Robert shrugs. “I just am.”
“Great answer, really. You’ve enlightened me.”
“You know? My goal is to say something to which you won’t have a sarcastic remark to reply with.”
“You’ve got big dreams for a kid your age Harold.” Aaron teases with a small smirk playing on his face.
“I’ve always been ambitious Lewis.”
“Hey, I’m allowed to call you Harold, but you’re not allowed to call me Lewis. Just to be clear.”
Robert rolls his eyes even though he’s smiling, but his smile fades into a serious expression when Aaron decides to shuffle closer and put his right arm and leg over Robert’s body.
“You want to cuddle? I thought you hated me.”
“Well, I don’t hate you at three in the morning when I want to sleep and you’re warm. Also, don’t flatter yourself because this really isn’t the case.”
“Got it.”
Aaron places his head on Robert’s chest and there’s a moment of silence before he says,“Who would’ve thought that I, Aaron Dingle, would ever cuddle up to the annoying Robert Sugden?”
“Definitely not me in all the twenty years I’ve been on this earth-“
“Wait, you’re twenty?”
“No, but I’m going to be soon.”
“How soon?” Aaron asks, lifting his head to look at him through the darkness.
“On the first of February.”
“But that’s like…two weeks from now! We’ve got to throw you a big party!”
“Don’t get to excited.”
Aaron’ face falls in a pout. “Why not?”
“I don’t want a rager or anything like that.”
“Too bad.”
“Hold on, if I’m turning twenty and I’m just finishing my second year, how come you’re twenty one when you finish your fourth?”
“I was enrolled in school when I was five and then skipped third grade.”
“You skipped third grade? What?”
“I was too smart for the kids in my class, which made my mother think I was some kind of genius, but then she was proved wrong when I got to year six.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. I was smart when I was little.” Aaron sighs, settling back on Robert’s chest.
“And you don’t think you’re smart now?” “I’ll barely pass this year, of course I’m not.”
“You know, there’s a difference between being smart and getting good grades.”
“Does that mean you’re stupid, Harold?”
“That’s not what-nevermind.”
Robert places a hand on Aaron head and cradles his fingers through his soft hair.
“What if I fall asleep like this?” Aaron sleepily asks after long minutes of silence. Blue is lightly snoring at their feet and Robert feels so content he can barely reply without the smile being too obvious in his tone.
“I wouldn’t really mind.”
-
Robert knows something’s up when he comes home on Friday next week and there is no party. Everyone is in the living room, which is unusual because it’s really rare for all the brothers to be in the house at the same time.
“What’s going on?” he asks and takes a seat on the edge of Ross’s armchair.
“Nothing. Just chatting. Catching up.” Aaron answers from his place on Finn’s lap.
Robert looks at him weirdly, but doesn’t push it further. He excuses himself and goes upstairs into his room to catch up on assignments and get ready for his shift at the restaurant.
-
He gets the letter a week later, four days before his birthday. His application for a new dorm has been accepted and he can move back into his building, not in the same room though, starting tomorrow.
Blue is staring at him from the other side of the room as Robert thinks about it. He wants to go back and live in a dorm, but he also likes living with Aaron…and the rest of the frat boys of course.
He puts the letter under his schoolbooks and goes downstairs to see that the house is awfully silent. Ross prepares a microwave dinner for them both before they head out for work.
“Is something going on?” Robert asks him when they finally get a smoke break around eight in the evening.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, for the past two weeks everyone at the house has been acting really weird.”
“Oh…no reason. Exams just took a toll on everyone.”
“Ross, exams were two months ago.”
“Right.”
They exhale at once, and again, Robert’s found himself wondering what the fuck is going on with everyone.
It’s only when they’re on their way back to the house that Robert notices how Ross is dressed.
“Is there a party tonight?”
“Wha-what?”
“Jesus, don’t tell me it’s a surprise party.” Robert begs, and he knows he shouldn’t be flattering himself, but Aaron’ been acting suspicious for the past two weeks, ever since Robert mentioned his birthday.
“Oh, God no. No.”
The house is dark when they enter, so Robert shouldn’t be surprised when the living room suddenly lights up and about a hundred people shout out ‘SURPRISE!” But he is, because all these people are here for him (well, for the free drinks, but ANYWAY), and somehow he feels better, like maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.
Aaron is standing in the middle with a smirk on his face, party hat and all.
“Aren’t you surprised Harold? Show some emotion!” Aaron approaches him once the party starts and Robert is up in their room, changing into something more party-appropriate.
“I…am? I think. I mean, I knew something was up, but thank you anyway. Was really nice of you. Although I don’t think you did it for me personally.”
“What do you mean?” Aaron furrows his brows.
“I mean, it’s a good excuse to throw a massive party and have people over.”
“And you think I can’t do that without having an excuse?”
Robert knows Aaron is starting to get angry, although he has no idea why.
“No, but-“
“You know what-nevermind. I did something nice for you and you can’t even appreciate it. And then you say that I’m the mean one.”
“Wha-I didn’t-“
But Aaron is already out the door, trotting downstairs. Robert sighs and takes a quick shower before he changes into some tight jeans, a tank top and his favorite pair of Converse.
As he walks downstairs and towards the kitchen, people are wishing him happy birthday left and right, which is nice. Aaron is there, talking to a girl while they both have a drink in their hand, so Robert just passes him by to get to the cupboard and choose something to drink.
He settles on a Vodka mixed with coke, which means that he’s planning on getting drunk tonight and finding someone he can makeout with; someone who is not Aaron.
Nick finds him half an hour later while he’s chatting with one of the cheerleaders; a short brunette with blue eyes and amazing curves.
“Jesus Sugden, didn’t think you swing that way.” Nick starts as he approaches the two of them, swinging an arm around Robert’s shoulders.
The brunette looks at them weirdly and Robert smirks at her.
“I can make a few exceptions.” He winks and she smiles, satisfied.
“Well then, don’t let me waste your time wooing her. I just wanted to drop by and wish you a happy birthday. Look for me if you want to chat.”
And then he walks away, leaving Robert with the girl once again.
“So you’re also into boys huh?” she asks, twirling with a stray of her hair.
“Yeah.”
“So if you could bang one of the guys here, who would it be?”
Robert is taken aback by the question, but he likes this girl because she seems like she doesn’t mind talking about Robert fucking other guys, especially when they’re obviously flirting.
“Um…Ross is quite hot so.”
“Oh, I don’t think he swings that way. You should try Aaron if you want, heard he’s amazing in bed.”
“With girls.”
“Yeah, but is there any difference really?”
“Um…yeah I think there is. I mean…the holes are different.”
“Not if she likes the backdoor too.” The girl says in a suggestive tone, which has Robert wondering if she’s making an innuendo for what she’d be willing to do.
“Well then he must be really good.”
“Are you good?” she asks him, stepping closer and pressing a hand to his bicep.
“Am I good at what?”
He already knows what she wants, but what he doesn’t know is how to get out of it.
“Anal.” She decides to whisper it into his ear because the music is way too loud and the people near them don’t need to know about her intentions.
“Depends in what mood I’m in.” he chooses to answer.
“And what mood are you in?”
“To-“
Thankfully, a very drunk Aaron who is currently yelling as he’s approaching them with a beer in his hand, interrupts him.
“What is going on heereee?” Aaron slurs and puts an arm around Robert’s waist.
The girl looks annoyed now, but at the same time surprised that president of the fraternity and captain of the ‘soccer’ team Aaron Dingle is paying her attention.
“Are you two going to have seex?”
“Maybe you should lay down.” Robert suggests and grips into Aaron’ arm to steady him.
“You gonna help him?” the girls asks and Robert nods in response. “Well then, I’ll find you later.”
Robert doesn’t reply, he hoists Aaron up like he’s holding a three-year old child against his side, and then walks towards the stairs.
Their room is empty, just like the sign on the door warns for it to be, so Robert places him on the bed with his face towards the ceiling.
“Where are you going?” Aaron mutters and stretches out his arms to make grabby-hands at Robert.
“I’m going to get you some water. Do NOT leave the room until I come back.”
“Alrighty then.”
Robert sighs and leaves the room quickly to go downstairs and get some water. He finds a bottle in the kitchen and he’s about to go back to Aaron when Nick stops him.
“Running errands for drunk Aaron again?” he asks Robert, who is not in the mood to argue.
“No, he’s just…he needs my help right now because he’s drunk so-“
“Why do you keep doing this? He’s never going to stop. You should check him into a rehab or something because he’s a mean, ugly drunk.”
“He’s beautiful even when he’s drunk.” Robert says and steps away from Nick. “Now excuse me, I need to get to him before he dies in his own pile of vomit.”
“He’s got you tied down without either of you knowing it!” Nick yells after him but Robert is already halfway up the stairs.
As he hands Aaron the bottle of water and takes off his shirt that’s apparently suffocating him, he wonders if Aaron is right. He’s never had time for dates with anyone besides Aaron, hasn’t kissed or thought about someone who wasn’t Aaron...
Aaron watches him with Roby, curious eyes as Robert tucks him in and then gets under the blanket himself.
And as Aaron falls into a heavy sleep, Robert can’t help but wonder if Aaron has ever thought about him more than a friend.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
I've worked really hard on this chapter and it's my favorite one so far, so I'd like to see what you thought of it !
! New chapter will be up on May 23rd, around 5pm UK time !
☆ Follow me on Tumblr for more updates about the story ☆
Chapter 11: 11
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
I really like this chapter because things get deeper and they talk about important stuff.
Seeing how the story is currently progressing, I assume it's going to have about 15 to 20 chapters :)
! Updates are on Saturdays/Sundays around 7pm UK time from now on !
♡ Tumblr ♡
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert’s birthday passes quickly, but not without killer hangovers and like a dozen stories about what he’d missed while sleeping upstairs with Aaron.
There is one month left until spring break, and everyone is already starting to make plans, trying to gather into groups from 15 to 30 so they can have hotel discounts.
Robert’s also been trying to avoid moving into the dorm he’s been assigned to for a couple of days because he refuses to do so until he actually talks to Aaron about the feelings he’s been developing for the past few days…weeks…whatever.
“So what are you going to do for spring break?” Kerry asks him on Friday night after their last lecture as they sit in a secluded corner in Starbucks.
It’s already dark outside and they both plan on going back to the frat house for a pizza night to discuss spring break.
“I don’t know. You?”
“Well I’m definitely going with Finn and most of the frat guys in Panama City.”
“Oh…who else is coming?”
“Well…Ross, Aaron, Pete, Sophia, Holly, Finn, Bryan…Dave…myself. And some other people that I don’t really care about. I know that they want us to be like fifteen people so we can get a fifteen percent discount at the hotel. And you should definitely come.”
“Really?” Robert smiles. “Why?”
“Do you honestly want me to beg you? Because I get along with you better than I do with most of the people here and this would be the perfect opportunity for you to fuck Aaron or get fucked by him.”
Robert’s face falls and he almost spits out his drink.
“Wha-whe-how? What?” he stutters and grips into his cup with both of his hands.
“Oh come on, don’t act dumb Rob. Everyone sees the way you two look at each other.”
“How do we look at each other? What are you even talking about?”
“Well…you look at him when he isn’t looking with this look…a combination of fondness and thirst. Like you want to fuck him against the wall but also buy him chocolate and hold his hand in public.”
Robert’s speechless. Mainly because she’s actually right; he does sometimes find himself zoning out and just staring at Aaron when he isn’t looking, but he didn’t think anyone observed that.
“That’s not-“
“And then he looks at you when you’re talking to someone else with jealousy…like he wants you to constantly pay attention to him.”
“You know these observations are completely out of line, right? I don’t look at him that way, and he definitely doesn’t look at me like that.”
“Trust me, you both do. I mean, even Finn pointed it out to me and you know he’s the most oblivious person in the world.”
Robert laughs. “Yeah, I remember you telling me how many times you were dropping hints about liking him and he just took it as friendly banter.”
Kerry shakes her head with a soft smile, probably reminiscing.
“Alright, so. Here’s the plan.” She finally says, face turning serious.
“What plan? There is no plan.”
“Yes, yes there is. You need to talk to him about how you feel about him, to at least know where you two stand. And then you go from there.”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same though? I mean-he’s not even out. I don’t know what he’s scared of but I don’t want to push him.”
“Well, you need to talk to him about that too. And if he doesn’t feel the same, then go out, bring a guy back, fuck him and maybe pretend he’s your boyfriend. People don’t know what they have until it’s gone.”
“Fine.” Robert agrees with a brisk nod. “And what if he actually does feel the same?”
“Then you take him out on a date, kiss him…and then let it come naturally.”
“Come naturally…got it.”
“You can also take it in a literal sense.” She says and Robert laughs, throwing his head back.
God, where would he even be without Kerry’s advice?
They get to the frat house around eight in the evening, to find out that they’ve already ordered the pizza and are planning on putting Fast and Furious on once it arrives.
Robert sits down on the floor in front of the couch next to Bryan, since all the surfaces are already full. He can see Aaron on the armchair with a girl he doesn’t know by name but recognizes on the armrest.
Robert frowns when he makes eye contact with Aaron, who just shrugs and turns his head back to her.
The pizzas arrive five minutes later and Robert ends up sharing one with Bryan, who’s kind enough to give him two slices, since he wasn’t there to order.
“There’s one pizza left.” Finn observes and points to the coffee table that’s been pushed into the corner so they could all have a clear view of the television.
“Oh yeah, Aaron ordered two. One with pepperoni and a mozzarella one.” Ross recalls, with a smirk too big for a simple statement.
“Who the fuck eats mozzarella pizza? That’s like eating bread without anything on it.” Finn complains and stretches to grab the pizza nonetheless.
“Um…I do.” Robert says awkwardly.
“I ordered it for you.”
Aaron’ words surprise Robert and pretty much everyone else present.
“Oh…well. Thanks.”
Robert tries to kill the butterflies in his stomach with giant bites of pizza, and thankfully the movie starts so the lights are turned off and no one can see him smiling and blushing like an idiot.
He however, can see Aaron’ arm around the girl’s waist and the way they whisper in each other’s ear throughout the movie. She’s already on his lap, smiling and silently laughing at Aaron’ hushed words.
At one point, Aaron puts a blanket over the both of them and one of his hands-the one that isn’t holding her waist-goes under the blanket. Robert averts his eyes, not even wanting to think about what is probably going on under there.
But judging by the way the girl bites her lip, hides her face in Aaron’ neck and discreetly fidgets, Aaron must be fingering her.
He tries not to look at them for the rest of the movie, but it’s really hard not to because he starts imagining how it would be in Aaron fingered him under the blanket, with everyone in the room.
The movie finishes and Robert feels sick to his stomach when he sees Aaron wiping his fingers on his pants. He turns his face to Kerry and makes a gesture so she knows she has to check her phone. She does, and Robert sends her a text.
Robert: up for the club tonight? Bring Finn if he wants to
Kerry: sure. U okay?
Robert: not really. Want to go out, get drunk, and fuck someone
Finn reads the text over Kerry’s shoulder and then at him, nodding with a wink.
The three of them eventually go upstairs to change for the club, and Robert picks out his black skinny jeans (as per usual), a loose white tank top to show off his tattooed muscles, and his black converse.
Kerry and Finn are waiting for him in the hall when he exits his room, both dressed up quite fancy for a club outing. When they arrive downstairs, Aaron is about to go up, with the girl trailing behind him, holding his hand.
Robert’s stomach drops but he tries to keep a poker face.
“Where are you going?” Aaron asks him with a confused expression.
“Out. To the club.”
“Oh. Can I come?”
The girl is obviously devastated by Aaron’ question, and Robert says-partially to make her feel better (he doesn’t even know why he does that), and partially to make Aaron jealous:
“No. You’re busy.”
And with that, he walks past them, mentallypatting himself on the back for the snappy remark.
“Damn that was rude of you.” Kerry tells him as they wait outside for a cab.
“Well, he deserved it.”
“Why?” Finn joins their conversation.
“Because…I don’t know.”
“Because he’s about to fuck Meredith?”
Robert shrugs, not feeling relieved at all now that he’s learned her name.
Thankfully though, the taxi arrives and drives them to the club in ten minutes. The line is long so they wait for about thirty minutes before they’re finally let in, even though it costs Robert fifty dollars to get in because he’s underage.
The club is packed of course, but thankfully they find a table in a corner for four people, which means that there is one spot for the guy Robert will (hopefully) pull tonight.
The first minutes pass by slowly as they decide on whether to dance or go to the bar, and eventually they’re all making they way towards the bar to order some drinks to get their buzz going.
Robert doesn’t feel like it’s weird or like he’s imposing at all, he’s used to hanging out with Finn and Kerry without feeling like the third wheel.
Robert orders a Tequila Sunrisewhile the two of them get a round of three tequila shots each. He sits with them at the table as they do their shots, bickering and laughing as they do.
Seeing them together always makes Robert wonder if he’ll ever be lucky enough to find someone like that, and have this type of relationship. Which makes him think of Aaron, and that makes him place his drink on the table so he can make his way to the dance-floor.
He immediately spots a group of guys in the corner, and one of them is obviously watching him as he moves to the beat without a care in the world.
He chooses to go back at the bar and order two shots for himself, and then another Tequila Sunrise because he doesn’t feel like the alcohol has affected him too much.
It’s when Robert winks at him (after another shot he feels tipsy and courageous enough to do so) that the guy walks towards him, smirking. He’s an average height; just the right fit between skinny and muscly, and has deep blue eyes that remind Robert of why he’s actually here.
The guy doesn’t say anything, he just tapes his back to Robert’s chest and they dance in sync for a few songs, until it gets too much for Robert and he turns him around.
“I never got your name?”
“Alex.”
“’m Robert.”
“British hmm?”
Robert nods and doesn’t waste any time to lean over and kiss the guy because let’s face it; Alex looks good in the white shirt and black jeans he’s wearing.
They kiss on the dance-floor for a while and things start to get more heated when Alex brings his hand down Robert’s chest until he’s rubbing him over his jeans.
“Do you have a place or are you homeless?” Alex asks and Robert smiles. So he’s also sarcastic, great.
“I have a place, but I also have a roommate. Don’t think he’ll mind though.”
“Great. I’ll let my friends now and meet you outside?”
“Actually, I’m at the table right there, so come by whenever you’re ready to leave.”
“Alright.”
They kiss each other for a few seconds after that, until Robert finally breaks it off so Alex can go back to his group.
“Found someone?” Kerry asks, pulling out of the kiss. Finn doesn’t look too bothered by it, because they’re both probably ready to also leave and go out.
“Yeah.”
“And it’s only two hours in.” Finn praises and sits up properly, arching his back.
“Yeah, he’s really hot.”
“Does he have a name?”
“It won’t matter tomorrow.”
Alex comes by their booth shortly after that, and the four of them walk to the coatroom to retrieve their belongings. Robert and Alex make chit chat as they wait for a taxi to take them back to the frat house, and it turns out that Alex is also attending their Uni, studying to become an English teacher.
Kerry and Finn disappear to his room as soon as they reach the house, and Robert politely asks Alex whether he’d like something do drink, to which he replies:
“I’d love to drink you right now.”
Which, okay. It sounds pretty cheesy but Robert is quick to press their lips together before leading him upstairs.
Aaron’ room is quiet and dark, and Robert can clearly see that the girl is sleeping in Aaron’ arms, so he kisses Alex quietly as they make their way to the bed.
Robert ends up under him, and it doesn’t take long for Alex to suck him off and then take a condom out of his wallet so he can ride him.
When they finish, Alex asks if he can stay the night and Robert lets him, of course.
“How do you like to sleep? I mean, which cuddle position? Since the bed isn’t made for two people sleeping next to each other.”
“Well uh…I like to be the little spoon.”
“Oh. Okay, we can make that work.” Alex smiles and Robert turns his back to him, only to feel his arms come around him a few seconds later.
They fall asleep like that, and Robert sleeps like a baby until he’s woken up by a loud alarm while it’s still darkness. Alex is gone, Robert notices, but there’s something taped to his forehead.
He turns the flashlight of his phone on, to see that Alex has scribbled something on a post-it and has taped it to his head.
Have a 7am class so I had to get back to my dorm. See you around. – Alex
There is no phone number, and Robert is glad that Alex also wanted this to be a one-time thing. He checks the clock to see that it’s only four in the morning.
“That didn’t take long.” He hears, and turns his head to look at Aaron, who is now sitting up in his bed, shirtless. The girl is gone, which means that it’s only the two of them in a tension-filled room that reeks of sex.
“What didn’t take long?”
“For you to come as you fucked him.”
“I haven’t had sex in the past few months, of course I would come while fucking someone as hot and tight as him.”
He hears Aaron’ breath hitch at his words, but he doesn’t care. Aaron has no right to comment on his sexual life.
“Well, at least we both had sex tonight, right?”
“Right. Could’ve done it when we weren’t it the room though.”
“I thought the two of you were asleep.”
“Well, Mer was. I woke up the minute you barged in all horny and with your tongues down each other’s throat.”
Something sparks in Robert’s stomach at the thought of Aaron hearing and probably watching him get laid.
“And do you have something to comment on it? Or can I fuck guys in peace without you being on my case?”
“I’m just saying, you could’ve been quieter.” Aaron complains, turning on the bedside table so there would be some light in the room.
“Oh, so you never moan during sex?”
“Not that loud.”
“Then you’re not having sex with the right people.”
“I think I am, thank you very much.”
Robert rolls his eyes. “No you’re not.”
“And who do you suggest I have sex with then? You?”
There’s something in Aaron’ tone that makes Robert wonder if he’s serious about the question.
“I wouldn’t mind.” He admits, and he knows that it’s the alcohol’s fault for not having a brain-to-mouth filer. He also hopes that Aaron can hear the slight slur in his voice and will think that it’s the alcohol in his system.
“You wouldn’t mind fucking me?”
Robert stands up from the bed this time, a little wobbly on his feet. He realizes he’s almost naked save for the briefs, but he doesn’t really care. “No.”
“And you wouldn’t mind me fucking you?”
“No.”
Robert’s now at the foot of Aaron’ bed, heart beating fast and eyes roaming over Aaron’ naked chest.
“Okay then. Good to know.”
“Are you going to do something about it?” he asks, looking Aaron pointedly in the eye.
“No.”
There is obvious uncertainty in Aaron’ voice, but they both choose to ignore it, too caught up in the heavy stare down that’s currently going on.
“Then why do you keep doing this?” Robert complains, putting a knee on the bed and leaning over to Aaron.
“Doing what?”
“This. Just…”
He doesn’t get to finish because Aaron is pulling him in by the back of his neck to kiss him.
Robert gets on top quickly, and Aaron adjusts his legs so Robert can fit between them as they make out. It doesn’t take long though, because Aaron is quick to flip them over and straddle his hips.
“You keep leading me on.” Robert says, voice quieter than anticipated while Aaron is pinning his hands above his head.
“What do you mean?”
Aaron lets go of his wrists and Robert rests his hands on his the sides of his thighs, running up and down in a soothing motion.
“You keep leading me on…like, you kiss me when you’re sober which is new for me, you tell me you want to have sex sometime when you’re not drunk, you look at me in a way that isn’t quite platonic…you order my favorite pizza and just…I don’t know. It’s weird. For me.”
“Why is it weird? Isn’t that what friends do?”
“No! Friends don’t look at each other like we do. And they don’t behave like we do.”
“Friends with benefits do.”
“But we don’t even have benefits.” “Yeah…making out.” Aaron says in a weak voice, not moving off of Robert.
“No. Look, friends don’t sleep in the same bed.”
“Yeah they do! Ross and I slept in the same bed once.”
“Does Ross treat you the way I do? Or do you treat Ross like you treat me?”
Aaron doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, until “Are you like, in love with me?”
“No, I’m not. But I’m just wondering what we are. Because in the past couple of months I’ve been having mixed feelings that I don’t have the courage to talk about apparently when I’m completely sober.”
“Been there, done that.” Aaron laughs, but it’s a forced one.
“Stop trying to change the subject, for God’s sake!”
“Are you saying that you want a relationship? Because I’m not good with commitment. I don’t do relationships. At least not serious ones.”
“What are you afraid of? You can’t-“
“So what, you honestly want to be in a relationship with me now? Because I held your hand once and kissed you in public?”
“Fuck you.” Robert mutters.
He rolls Aaron off and gets up from the bed.
“You fucking wish Sugden.”
And there he is again; the sarcastic, Robert hating, annoying Aaron Dingle.
Robert gets into his own bed and pulls the covers all the way up to his neck. His head feels dizzy.
“Just so you know, I’m moving out tomorrow. I received the letter a few weeks ago, but I thought that maybe this was going somewhere.” Robert says after Aaron turns off the light, leaving the room in plain darkness once again.
“Good. And why the fuck did you wait so long? I enjoy having the room to myself.”
Robert doesn’t answer, but Aaron’ words hurt and his head is spinning.
“You know…you say you don’t do commitment but you have tattoos all over your body.” He says right before he falls into a deep sleep, Aaron not leaving his mind even for one bit.
-
As promised, Robert moves out of the frat house and into his new dorm the next day. He’s got a room all to himself, thankfully, even though he kind of misses Pete. Aaron keeps Blue at the house, much to Robert’s dismay, but he knows that he won’t try to house another pet in his dorm any time soon.
It’s Monday when he decides to text Ross and let him know that he’s coming to Panama City with them for spring break. He won’t let the fight with Aaron bring him down, and won’t let Aaron think that he’s the reason Robert’s been down lately.
All that Aaron has to know is that Robert’s doing fine and he doesn’t care about him at all. Which, turns out to be easier said than done. Even though he hasn’t talked to Aaron for almost a month, he still misses the sarcastic remarks and the way he said his name when he wants Robert’s attention.
It’s the Friday before they have to leave for Panama City, and there’s a frat party to celebrate spring break. Robert attends just because Kerry begged him. Finn can’t make it because his parents are in town until tomorrow and they want to spend some quality time with their boy, alone.
“Why don’t his parents like you?” Robert asks her as they refill their drinks in the kitchen.
“They do like me, we went out for dinner last night. But it’s their last day in the US so they want to make the most of it.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Still not talking to Aaron?”
“No. And I’m not planning on it.”
“Well…you know you’re going to be spending one week with him right?”
“With him and thirteen other people. I think I can manage.”
She shakes her head and takes a sip from her cup. It seems like everyone has noticed the obvious tension between Robert and Aaron, because a lot of people have asked what’s wrong and why they’re not talking to each other anymore. The answer is always “Because we don’t have a reason to talk to each other.”
Tonight though, Robert can’t deny that Aaron looks incredibly good in his Adidas hoodie, black jeans and matching Vans.
“You know it’s so obvious that you both are pathetically trying not to look at each other right?” Ross tells him while they’re out having a smoke on the porch in the backyard.
Robert looks over at Aaron by the pool, who’s maybe trying too hard to listen closely to what Josh is saying.
“I don’t care. I have nothing to say to him. So.”
“You know, I’ve been trying to get you two together for the past few months, but neither of you want to listen to me.”
“Get us together?” Robert wants to laugh out loud. “Tell him that. I’ve clearly stated that I wanted something more from him but he doesn’t do commitment. So, I’m over it. He can do whatever he wants with his life.”
Ross shakes his head. “You’re both useless. Listen, I know what will make everything better. Meet me up in my room in five?”
“Weed?”
“You know it.”
And with that, Ross goes back inside, leaving Robert alone to stare at the pool and definitely not at Aaron with the corner of his eye.
He decides to go back inside and find Kerry to tell her that he’s going to disappear into Ross’s room for a little while. She doesn’t seem to mind, having found Holly and now talking about God-knows-what.
He waits for Ross on his bed, and a couple of minutes later the door opens.
But it’s not Ross.
It’s Aaron.
“What are you doing here?” Aaron asks as soon as he sees him.
“I could ask you the same question. Ross told me to meet him here.”
“He told me the same thing. That fucker.”
Robert waits for Aaron to walk away, but to his surprise, he steps inside and closes the door.
“So you haven’t been talking to me recently.” Aaron tells him and crosses his arms over his chest.
“Me? You’ve been avoiding me like the plague ever since our talk that night. Not to mention you were an asshole.”
“I was an asshole? You just sprung the whole relationship talk on me out of the blue.”
“Oh please. You always play the victim in every situation.” Robert snorts and carefully looks at Aaron as he slowly walks over to him.
“Shut the fuck up. You didn’t have any reason to give me the ‘what are we’ talk after you fucked that guy.”
“I fucked him because you were obviously busy with someone else!”
Robert raises his voice, and that’s something he doesn’t usually do, no matter the circumstances.
“So you did it to make me jealous?!” Aaron asks back, the tone of his voice matching Robert’s now.
“Well, did it fucking work? No, it d-“
He’s interrupted by Aaron suddenly straddling him and kissing him, with a force that almost knocks the breath out of him.
“Do you ever just fucking shut up?”
“Make me.” Robert grins, so Aaron does.
They kiss as Robert’s hands fumble with Aaron’ belt.
“What are you doing?” Aaron mumbles against his lips, standing up.
For a second Robert thinks that he’s gone too far already, but then Aaron proceeds to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.
Robert grabs him by the hips and throws him on the bed, getting on his knees on the ground, hands still working on his pants.
Aaron takes off his sweatshirt to reveal his naked torso, and when Robert tries to take off his Vans, he stops him.
“How am I going to get your pants off with your shoes on?”
“You don’t want to do that, trust me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not wearing any socks.”
“Jesus.” Robert breathes and kisses him some more.
They struggle to take Aaron’ skintight jeans off and eventually they do, almost slapping Robert across the face in the process.
“What aren’t you getting undressed?” Aaron asks and Robert licks his lips.
“Because I’m going to eat you out.”
“Bu-wha-no one’s ever-“
“I know. It feels good, trust me.”
“I do.”
Robert’s stomach twists at the sincerity in Aaron’ words, but he tries to brush it off by taking off his briefs and trying hard not to get his hand around his cock.
He takes a moment to run his hands over Aaron’ bare thighs and to admire how good he looks with only his Vans on, his hair in a soft fringe over his face looking down at him.
“Robert, I’m not sure about-fuck.”
Robert doesn’t waste any time to run his tongue over Aaron’ pretty pink hole a few times, until it’s glistening and Aaron is panting.
He continues giving it slow, long licks over and over, until he decides to just suck and pull at it, the way he knows most guys like it.
Aaron is heavily breathing by now, cursing and gripping into the sheets as his legs rest over Robert’s shoulders.
“Feels so good Robert, Jesus.”
“So we’re back to first name basis hmm?” Robert mutters against his thigh, biting it in a quick motion.
“Shut the fuck u-up.”
Robert goes back in with his tongue, trying to push it past the rim. The movement has Aaron’ cock obviously jerking as it’s leaking precome.
“That good?”
“Don’t fucking flatter yourself.”
Robert looks up at him and they lock eyes as he continues to lick and finally pushes past the rim. Aaron eventually breaks the eye contact to squeeze his eyes shut and grips into the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.
“I don’t suppose Ross has any lube nearby?” Robert asks and Aaron doesn’t look pleased at all by the loss of contact.
“Try the nightstand although I doubt it.”
Robert gets up. “Hold your legs open for me.”
Aaron obliges by placing his hands on his calves to keep his legs open, obviously trying not to let it show how they’re shaking.
“He does have a bottle of lube here.” Robert says and walks back to kneel by Aaron.
“That dirty bastard.” Aaron agrees, although it’s clear that his mind is elsewhere.
Robert lubes up his fingers and spreads some over Aaron’ hole.
“It’s cold.”
Robert ignores the comment and gets back to licking and sucking. The lube tastes like oranges, which Robert is thankful for, even though Aaron tasted amazing nonetheless.
It doesn’t take long for the first finger to join Robert’s tongue inside of Aaron, who has is eyes tightly shut by now, head thrown back.
“Fuck, keep going please.”
It’s really mind-blowing and at the same extremely hot to hear Aaron beg like this, since he usually acts all macho and manly with everyone around him.
He probably begs when he’s not the one doing the fucking, Robert thinks and stops his movements.
His theory is proved right when Aaron lets out a whine. “Don’t stop, please. I’m getting close.”
“I like you begging for me.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
Robert smirks and resumes, this time pushing a second finger in as his tongue works inside as well.
Aaron’ moans are rising by now and his chest is rising and falling so fast Robert can see the outline of his ribcage.
When he scissors his fingers and pushes in just a little bit deeper, he knows he’s hit Aaron’ prostate, judging by the decibels of Aaron’ moans.
“I’m going to-soon, shit.”
Aaron stretches his arm out to wrap his fingers around himself but Robert stops him. “Don’t touch yourself.”
“But it hurts, Robert.”
“You can come untouched, come on.”
Aaron whines but grips the sheet with both of his hands again, so Robert continues in a quicker pace.
“Robert-“ Aaron says and arches his back as he cums in long spurts over his belly.
Robert works his fingers through it until Aaron comes down from his high.
“Man, Ross is going to hate us.” He smiles and gets up to go and find a tissue.
He grabs one from the box on the desk and wipes his fingers off on it, before he takes another one to wipe Aaron off with.
But Aaron is already on his knees, unbuttoning Robert’s jeans and working his hand over his cock.
Robert cums within minutes on Aaron’ face and makes sure to wipe off his eyelashes before he does so on the rest of Aaron’ body.
“How was it?” Robert asks him and throws the tissues in Ross’s rubbish bin under his desk.
“Good.”
Aaron is smiling, which makes Robert smile as he watches him get dressed.
“So we’re good now?” Aaron asks, standing in front of him in the hallway. He looks much happier than he did during the past month, probably from the release he’d just gotten.
“Yeah, we’re…good.”
“You’re coming with us tomorrow, right?”
“Right.” Robert nods. “Much to your disappointment.
“Don’t make me angry now.”
“Is that what I was doing?”
Robert smiles, obviously teasing, and Aaron plays along as they walk down the hallway. That is, until it gets too much for Robert and he pulls Aaron into a kiss that ends up with them in his room.
And it’s all good.
For now.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
I've worked really hard on this chapter and it's my favorite one so far, so I'd like to see what you thought of it !
! New chapter will be up on June 6/7th, around 5pm UK time !
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Chapter 12: 12
Summary:
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Notes:
I like this chapter because once again, Robert breaks through Aaron' walks and deep stuff is going on.
Seeing how the story is currently progressing, I assume it's going to have about 15 to 20 chapters :)
! Updates are on Saturdays/Sundays around 7pm UK time from now on !
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Chapter Text
Robert wakes up with Aaron taped to his back and Finn yelling at them to get up the next morning. After a few seconds of recollection, Robert realizes that it’s the morning they’re supposed to be leaving for Panama City.
“The bus leaves in an hour so unless you want to walk or pay a hundred dollars for a plane ticket you’re going to have to get your arses up now.”
Robert groans but rolls out of bed, running a hand through his hair to tame it. Aaron still isn’t ready to get out of bed, so Robert just leaves the room to walk back to his dorm and finish the packing he started yesterday.
He gets the call from Finn to be at the curb in two minutes so they can pick him up with the cab that will drive them to the place where they’re supposed to catch the bus.
Robert hurries up with the closing of his suitcase, and only then does he walk out, making sure he locked the door twice before he walks towards the elevator.
The cab is already there, and he shares it with Finn, Kerry, and Bryan. Where they arrive in the parking lot, the bus hasn’t arrived yet, but all the people Robert is supposed to go to Panama City with are there, all carrying heavy suitcases and backpacks.
Everyone is chatty, obviously excited about the week ahead, and Robert can’t help but smile when he catches Aaron’ gaze a few meters away.
Aaron leaves the group he’s been chatting to so he can come over to Robert with a grin on his face.
“You excited for spring break Curly?”
“Mhm. You?”
“Really excited. Looking forward to the booze and the ladies.”
Robert’s face falls at that and Aaron doesn’t miss it.
“Why the long face?”
Robert shrugs. “No reason. Just…Nevermind.”
“No, come on. Tell me now. You’ve made me curious.”
Robert is about to open his mouth even though he has no idea how to explain to Aaron that he doesn’t like the idea of him fucking other girls in a room they are possibly going to share. Thankfully though, the bus is pulling up next to them and everyone drifts their attention to their suitcases, getting busy with loading up.
The bus is small, made for twenty people, so Robert’s planning on sitting alone when Dave just plumps down next to him with a smile on his face.
“Hi.” Robert says, not sure whether he’s supposed to be grateful or not that Dave is paying attention to him. He decides on the first option, because if Aaron doesn’t have a plan to get together with him then Robert might as well drift his attention to someone else. And Dave is handsome, tall (well, the same height as Robert), not to mention that he’s got blonde hair and blue eyes.
Also, he’s really fit and funny sometimes, so Robert considers it a win.
The bus ride takes around three hours with four different stops for gas and that one time Aaron really had to pee so they had to pull up on the side of the highway just for him.
The Holiday Inn is gigantic, like a semi circle facing the beach and Robert knows they got lucky with the prices and rooms, judging by the mass of cars in the parking lot and the people roaming around the hotel.
There’s a long queue of people who’re checking in at the reception, so they trade places to wait as the rest of the group goes to the bar to get drinks and cool off from the bus ride.
They eventually get their turn to check in an hour later, and they all get pink bracelets to show that they’re legal to drink, even though Robert’s the only one out of the group who’s got one more year to go.
They got two deluxe suites, each for eight people with three rooms, a living room, a kitchen, two bathrooms, and a balcony that had a view of the ocean.
Robert shares a room with Aaron, Kerry, Finn, Pete, Sophia, and Ross. The couples take the two rooms, and Robert decides to take the couch in the living room so Aaron and Ross can have the last room without any arguments.
They all settle into their rooms and take turns in the shower, and by the time evening rolls around, they have all decided to go to the club in the basement of the hotel so they can check out potential hook-ups and people to have fun with. That is, after they have a well-deserved, all-inclusive dinner in the restaurant.
They fill their plates with literally everything they can find, and then choose a large table outside that faces the ocean.
Dave is once again talking to Robert, and at one point he even tells him to try the pasta he has on his plate. Robert smiles and opens his mouth as Dave feeds it to him with his fork.
Aaron shoots them a weird look that’s a mixture between disgust and surprise, obviously not understanding what is going on.
“So who’s ready to go to the club?” Ross asks at one point to divert the attention from Robert and Dave.
“I am so fuckin’ ready to get drunk in Panama City!” Finn excitedly says and claps his hands, almost knocking over his beer.
“Yeah. We should meet in the lobby in half an hour so we can all go in at once, and not like a bunch of lost sheep.”
Robert laughs at Dave’s comment and after a couple of minutes they all finally get up from the table with full bellies and satisfied smiles on their faces.
Back to their suite, everyone goes in the room to get ready for tonight. Robert dresses up with a black shirt, black jeans and converse that match his outfit. When Aaron comes out of his room, Robert almost trips on his own feet because he looks fucking amazing dressed in a white tank top, blue jean shorts right above his knee, and Bob Marley Vans that make Robert like him even more.
“Whose funeral are you going to?” Aaron asks as he sits down on the couch, props his feet up on the table, and turns on the TV.
“Ha ha.”
Robert sits down next to him and they watch a bit of telly as the rest of the people in their suite get ready.
He’s still staring at Aaron as they walk towards the elevator and then to the lobby with the rest of their roommates.
The club is full when they get there, and they don’t even bother leaving anything in the coatroom since no one without a bracelet can get in.
They find a booth really close to the bar, which makes Aaron incredibly happy and ready to get the first round of shots going.
“Cheers to an amazing spring break!” Aaron yells and holds up his shot glass before tipping it back with everyone following suit.
After the first round of shots everyone decides on another one, and before Robert knows it, he’s tipsily following Dave out on the dancefloor.
There are quite a few people crowding the middle of the club with their sweaty bodies dancing to the music, and Robert see Aaron watching him with the corner of his eye, so he decides to filthily grind on Dave.
Robert’s back is pressed to Dave’s back as they move in sync to a mainstream house hit that everyone is currently enjoying.
“You look so good tonight.” Dave eventually whispers in his ear before kissing it.
The gesture should make Robert’s knees weaken and send shivers down his spine but that doesn’t happen. A twitch in his pants is the only result so Robert turns around and shuts him up with his own mouth.
Dave is happy to comply with the change, and their tongues find each other quickly. Robert tries to shut out everyone around them but it’s not working, so he ends up opening his eyes as they kiss, looking for Aaron through the crowd.
He finds him at the bar, chatting with a tall blonde that’s obnoxiously twirling her hair around her finger. Aaron looks like he’s enjoying himself, so Robert decides to pull away from Dave and take him by his hand.
“Where are we going?”
“To the bathroom.”
“I’ve got a room upstairs.” Dave laughs but Robert pulls him along anyway.
Yeah but the suite isn’t right next to the bar, Robert thinks and starts walking towards the bathroom.
He mentally pats himself on the back when they walk past Aaron, hands clasped, and Aaron turns his head at them until they disappear in the bathroom.
When they finally reach the men’s bathroom, Robert finds them an empty stall and doesn’t waste any time in getting on his knees.
Dave unzips his jeans and Robert proceeds to suck him off, trying to push the thought of how smaller his cock is in comparison with Aaron’ to the back of his mind. He just wants to get over with it and go back outside before Dave does a move to get Robert upstairs and try to fuck him with that five-inch dick.
Robert doesn’t mean to be rude of course; everyone is special in their own way. But Dave sure isn’t special in the downstairs department, so Robert doesn’t really feel attracted to him anymore.
Sure, he’s got a nice face but his humor is lacking and his jokes are often sexist. So.
“That was nice.” Dave tells him, to which Robert nods with a fake smile.
“I’m going to get a dick-I mean drink, fuck.” Robert stutters and disappears towards the bar.
Aaron is still there, but the girl is gone and now apparently dancing with Ross a few meters away.
“Hey.” Robert greets and sits on the barstool next to him.
“So quick?”
Aaron’ voice is sharp; although it has no reason to be…does it?
“Yeah.”
“You don’t sound too pleased about it. Did you do the fucking?”
“We didn’t fuck. I just sucked him off.”
“Oh.”
Before Aaron can say anything else, Robert orders a gin and tonic, and then turns back to him.
“Drinking hard liquor? What happened, does he have a small dick?”
Robert looks at him incredulously, not answering the question.
“He does, doesn’t he? Oh my God.”
Aaron bursts out laughing, almost falling off his stool while clutching his stomach.
“Shut up, yours is no better.”
“You definitely didn’t complain when you were gagging on it.”
Robert bites he inside of his cheek to hide a grin and watches the barman place his drink in front of him.
“So what happened to that hot blonde you were chatting to earlier?”
“Eh, nothing interested me so I signaled Ross to take over.”
“You and Ross have a signal?”
“Yeah. Whenever we’re out and we’re chatting to a girl that turns out not to be what we’re looking for we start talking about the other and point until we get the message and come over.”
“And that works for you?”
“Mhm.”
“What if Ross doesn’t like her either?”
“We usually tend to have different taste in women so if one of us doesn’t like her, the other definitely will.”
“That’s…a bit objectifying.” Robert says and eyes him over the rim of his glass.
“No it isn’t.”
“And what’s with the whole ‘not looking for’ thing? Are you looking for a good shag or a long term partner?”
“We’re looking for someone who’s in the same type of sex as we are.” Aaron explains, although Robert is as confused as he was when the whole discussion started.
“How do you even know what kind of sex they’re into?”
“Based on how they talk and interact.”
“So what kind of sex are you into?”
“The kind of sex where I don’t have to just lie there and let the other person to the work. I like being in control, and based on the way that girl was talking to me I figured out she also likes to be in control.”
“And you figured all of this out from the way she interacted with you?” Robert asks, surprised and impressed.
“Yeah, those psychology lectures really come in handy sometimes.”
Aaron laughs and Robert’s eyes drift to his lips for a moment. Aaron notices, but doesn’t say anything as he brings his own drink up to his mouth.
An hour and a half later, half of their group is drunk, a quarter is already upstairs, and the other quarter is ready to go back to their rooms and get a good night’s sleep.
Aaron and Robert help Kerry carry Finn upstairs because even though he’s Irish, there’s only so much Vodka shots a person can take.
They lay him down on his side in their bed, and Kerry thanks them for their help and says that she’ll take care of Finn from there.
Robert and Aaron leave their room and walk into the living room.
“You’re staying here?” Robert asks when Aaron makes himself comfortable on the couch by throwing his legs up on the coffee table, crossing his ankles.
“Well Ross is currently balls deep in that blonde so I think it’s safe to say that I can’t go sleep in that room. Finn’s going to be a vomit machine for the next couple of hours, and God knows what Sophia and Pete are up to.”
“Alright then. Suit yourself.”
Aaron nods and takes off his shirt without any warning whatsoever. So, of course, the human reaction to it is to glare and admire.
“Stop staring.”
“Right. Well. Can’t say the first night out was too much fun.” Robert mumbles and sits down next to him, both looking toward the TV that’s currently playing an ad for phone sex workers over and over again.
“You got to suck someone off.”
“Not fun at all.”
“Oh yeah, because he has a small dick.” Aaron says and begins to laugh. Robert wants to punch and also kiss him at the same time because he looks so good with his hair tousled and bare chested.
“Shut up. I’d appreciate it if the information remained a secret.”
“Don’t worry Sugden, it’s going to be our dirty little secret. Literally.”
“You’re the worst.” Robert sighs and rolls his eyes.
“Shut up, you love it.”
The silence after that is a bit uncomfortable by what Aaron just said and the way Robert avoided responding to it.
“You know what? Fuck this. This is our first night in Panama City, and my last spring break. Let’s go out and explore.”
“You want to go out and explore? At one in the morning?”
“Are you even hearing yourself?” Aaron says, standing up from the couch to pointedly look at him. He places his hands on his hips as he looks down at Robert. “It’s one in the morning and everyone is already in their room. Live a little.”
Robert bites the inside of his cheek. The thought of walking around the resort with Aaron in the middle of the night sounds really good, so of course he agrees, which causes a pleased smile to break on Aaron’ face.
“Fuck yeah. But first, alcohol.”
“Aren’t you drunk?” Robert asks as he follows Aaron out of the suite with a card in hand to make sure they won’t get locked out.
“Was a bit tipsy but now I’m sober and it just won’t do it for me.”
They stop by the liquor store that’s located on one of the large hallways leading from the reception in three different directions.
Aaron buys a bottle of wine “so that we can finish the entire bottle without falling into an alcoholic coma” and then they head out towards the poolside and where all the other activities and theme parks are located.
Of course everything is close and almost vacant as they walk down the long pathways that are framed with palms, giant bushes, and other tropical plants that look really luxurious.
“Let’s go to the beach.” Aaron suggests and Robert follows suit. That’s what he’s been doing for the past fifteen minutes anyway, but he doesn’t mind because Aaron is shirtless and he gets to watch his amazing bum walk in front of him.
There’s no one on the beach and it’s almost completely dark, save for the small light coming from the security tower that’s always on.
“Are you sure we’re allowed here at this hour?”
“Um, it’s public property innit? Besides, we pay big bucks for this whole extravaganza so we better be.”
Aaron sits down on the lounger closest to the shore and Robert takes a seat next to him, thighs touching.
“Wouldn’t have pegged you as a wine lover.” Robert says when Aaron opens the bottle with a corkscrew he promised to bring back to the store.
“No. I’m an alcohol lover period. Love ‘em all.”
Robert smiles and watches him take a long gulp out of the bottle before passing it to him. They take turns taking long sips until the bottle is half empty and Aaron feels like he’s too hot even in just his jeans and Vans.
“Let’s bathe in the ocean.” He suggests, his eyes glinting mischievously in the moonlight.
“I don’t have my swim trunks with me.”
“No you idiot, let’s skinny dip.”
Robert’s brows shoot up. He wouldn’t be against it since they’ve both seen each other naked and he won’t mind seeing Aaron’ amazing arse and thighs again.
“Alright.”
“Are my ears betraying me?” Aaron dramatically gasps as he stands up to take off his clothes one by one. “Is the Robert Sugden actually going to do something remotely wild? Incredible. I’m a genius.”
“And you’re also an tipsy idiot.”
Aaron shrugs and finally takes off his briefs so that he’s standing in front of Robert in all of his naked glory, tattoos showing and all.
Robert follows him, although he feels a bit intimidated by Aaron watching him undress. When they’re both finally naked, Aaron races him to the water, but Robert doesn’t budge as he watches his ass until he’s in the water.
“Pervert doesn’t look good on you.” Aaron states once Robert is also waist deep in the water.
“Yeah it does and you like it.”
“Getting bold are we?”
“Mhm.”
Aaron smirks nonetheless and slowly walks over to him.
“You’re getting pretty close for someone who won’t kiss me unless they’re drunk.” Robert observes and it’s not meant to come out so harsh, but it does.
“You’re being an asshole right now. And if I remember correctly, I let you eat me out yesterday.”
“Let me? Jesus, you make it sound like it was a huge favor on my part.” Robert snorts.
Aaron gets an angry expression on his face and suddenly splashes him with all the force he can apparently muster.
“Are you crazy?”
Robert splashes him back, and the water gets in Aaron’ face, getting him wet all over.
“Fuck you Sugden! I’m trying to be nice and actually spend time with you and you can’t drop the fucking asshole act for one moment!”
“What?” Robert spits, getting worked up now. “You’re trying to be nice with me? That’s a good one, ha!”
“Are you actually that stupid? If I didn’t want to be around I wouldn’t have fucking asked you to come for a walk and I wouldn’t want to make conversation!”
“And what are you getting out of it? Why do you do it? To make fun of me, right?”
“You’re honestly-I can’t even. Forget it.”
Aaron turns his back to Robert and walks out of the water with an angry stomp. Robert’s so upset he doesn’t even watch him leave. He only decides to get out of the water when Aaron starts dressing up.
Robert’s putting on his briefs when Aaron finishes lacing his Vans. He stares at Aaron to see what he’s going to do next, and to Robert’s surprise, he sits back down on the lounger and drinks some more wine.
“I’m only staying to finish the bottle by the way.” Aaron announces when the silence gets too uncomfortable.
“Whatever. I know you only care about getting drunk and when your next drink will be.”
Okay, so. Robert realizes that his sentence might have been a shitty thing to say, but Aaron doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with a disappointed look on his face.
“Wow. That’s low blow.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I know.”
There’s a bit of silence after that too, until Robert decides to finally break it. Aaron gets out his cigarette pack from the back pocket of his jeans and lights one up.
“So then why do you keep doing it? Drinking I mean.”
“Because I enjoy it.”
“No, most people don’t drink to enjoy it to the point where they throw up every single time.”
“Then, oh mighty Robert, please, do enlighten me.”
“Well, from my experience, most people drink to forget.”
Aaron stares at him and hands over the bottle so he can smoke his cigarette. Robert takes two gulps without saying anything.
“And what I sometimes wonder is, what are you trying so hard to forget?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“So you do drink to forget, and not because you enjoy it.”
“Get the fuck off my back okay? If I don’t want to talk about it then I don’t have to.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
A few minutes pass with them just staring at the ocean and listening to the waves crashing against some rocks in the distance.
“Sometimes I just wish you’d open up to me.” Robert quietly says once he’s downed the rest of the bottle without Aaron’ help, his head a bit dizzy.
“Why would you want that?”
Aaron is already on his cigarette.
“Because…doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah it does. Tell me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Tell me.”
Aaron doesn’t raise his voice, although his tone is demanding.
“Because I still care about you. I mean-yeah. I do.”
“You didn’t talk to me for weeks after I told you I didn’t want a relationship. You’re over me Robert.”
“No, I’m not.”
“What about Dave? And that Alex guy?”
“They don’t matter to me as much as you do.”
Aaron snorts. “That’s rubbish.”
“Why can’t you accept that someone might just like you?”
Robert doesn’t get an answer. All he gets is a tiny shrug and a sad Aaron looking at his shoes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started the discussion in the first place. I know you’ll never be into me or want anything more than…whatever is going on right now.”
The silence is almost painful and Robert manages not to do anything drastic like getting up and leave.
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
Aaron sighs before turning his head to Robert. “I’m not what you’re looking for, trust me.”
“Yeah you are.”
“No, I’m not. I get that you’re attracted to me…and I don’t mean to be cocky. I’m also attracted to you but in a completely physical way. Like I’m attracted to Ross. Or Kerry. Or Holly. And the way you’re attracted to Dave or Alex or…me.”
“It’s not just physical-“
“It is.”
“And how the fuck would you know how I feel?”
“Because I know what kind of person I am. And even if I like liked you, then it wouldn’t work.”
“Why not?” Robert asks, voice almost breaking.
“Because I can’t offer you what you’d want from a relationship.”
“You offered Holly enough to make her want to stay with you so long.”
“All we did is fuck. We never like, went on dates. At least not just the two of us. I never told her I loved her. She never told me she loved me. Or never actually meant it.
“Is it really hard accepting the fact that someone might just want to be with you and like you properly?”
“I can’t do the whole emotional stuff, just the casual, physical stuff. That’s all I can give you Robert.” Aaron answers, completely avoiding the question.
“Why not?”
“I just fucking can’t, okay?”
“Fine then. I’ll let you smoke in peace.”
Robert gets up from the lounger and dusts himself off before he turns around to leave.
“Wait.”
He bites his lip and turns around again to face Aaron, who is now looking at him with pleading eyes.
“Don’t leave me here. Just. Stay. Even if we don’t talk.”
Robert doesn’t even need time to think about it. He sits back down and watches Aaron smoke the last reminders of his third cigarette. He pulls out a silver flask and opens it.
Robert has no idea that he even had these things on him, but you never know with Aaron. He decides to let him drink whatever he has there in peace if it’s going to make him feel better.
As long as he does it with measure, he thinks.
“Why are you smoking so much right now?”
“I chain-smoke when I’m stressed.”
“Why are you stressed right now?”
Robert can feel himself slipping into psychologist mode.
“You stress me out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be. In a weird way. Like, I don’t even know how say it.” Aaron says and buries his hand in his hands.
“Then show me.”
Aaron looks up and doesn’t waste any time to place his hand at the back of Robert’s neck and pull him in for a kiss. They don’t open their mouths like they usually would, they just kiss over and over again, slowly.
Aaron tastes like cigarettes and menthol and Vodka, and Robert loves it.
“Can we sleep here tonight?” Aaron whispers against his lips. At least it comes out as a whisper due to the loud waves coming from the ocean.
“On the beach?”
“Mhm.”
“Where?”
Aaron points to a long row of beach beds behind the loungers, close to the resort entry.
“Alright.”
Aaron gets up first and Robert follows him up to the beds. It’s warm outside, so he takes off his shirt too before lying down next to Aaron on the soft material.
“Can you pull down the sheet from above?” Aaron asks. “I want to watch the stars.”
His speech is already slurred and the flask lies on the bed next to him, empty. Robert sighs but does as asked; laying back down next to Aaron when the sheet is finally off and they have a clear view of the starry sky above them.
“I like to look at the sky sometimes to clear my head. I usually do it when I’m drunk because calms me down.” Aaron tells him after a while, and it’s so out of a sudden and personal that Robert’s taken aback.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Everything.” Aaron turns his head to look at him. “You.”
“That’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You. Saying these things only when you’re drunk and then saying you don’t mean them. It’s not fair.”
“Nothing’s fair in life. Absolutely nothing. So what’s the point in trying if it’s not going to work out anyways?”
“Why are you so negative?” Robert asks, frowning at him.
“I’m not negative. I’m just telling things the way they are.”
“Sometimes I think that you don’t want to be happy on purpose.”
“It’s not that.” Aaron sighs.
“Then what is it?”
“I spent most of my life trying to be happy than actually being happy so what’s the point?”
“The point is that you deserve to be happy.”
“No I don’t.”
Robert can feel his heart breaking at how convinced Aaron is that he doesn’t deserve happiness. And all he wants to do is show him how important and special he is. But he can’t do that if he doesn’t know the problem and why Aaron is the way he is.
“Yes, you do.”
Aaron doesn’t respond after that, and they settle for watching the stars in silence until they eventually fall asleep.
-
Robert wakes up with the sun shining right into his eyes, mocking him. He sits up and arches his back, looking around to realize that he’s on a beach bed. All the memories from a few hours ago come back, and he panics when he doesn’t see Aaron next to him.
He gets up from the bed only to spot Aaron half laying on a lounger, half laying in the sand a few meters away.
Robert walks over and stirs him awake.
“Whaaat?” Aaron mumbles, rubbing his eyes.
“How did you end up here?”
“I became sick so I got off the bed to throw up but I couldn’t so I think I just passed out here. My head hurts and my throat burns.” He whines.
Robert sighs. “C’mon. I’ll carry you back to your bed.”
“Only if you carry me.”
“That’s what I just said.”
Aaron lifts up his arms and Robert hoists him up by the back of his thighs. His legs wrap so easily around Robert’s waist and he clings to him like a sloth. Aaron eventually places his chin on Robert’s shoulder and falls asleep on the way back to the room.
Breakfast hasn’t started yet, which means it’s not even seven in the morning although the sun is already up.
Robert struggles with opening the door to their suite but eventually manages to walk all the way to his couch with Aaron, and lay him down there.
Aaron mumbles something and turns on his side, so Robert proceeds to take off his shoes and pants, then tuck him in.
Once he makes sure Aaron is going to get some rest, he walks over to the kitchen to make some coffee because he knows Pete will come out of his room soon for his seven am beach jog.
He’s thinking about Aaron as he makes the coffee, and even though they fought last night, Robert’s happy that he’s finally getting through to him. Even if it means taking tiny steps.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
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Chapter 13: 13
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So this is my favorite chapter yet and it's also the longest with over 6.8k words!!
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Chapter Text
The next two days pass by uneventfully, filled with sunbathing on the beach in the mornings, dancing to whatever DJ is supposed to mix on the stage next to their hotel at noon, and going out to a different club every night.
Neither Robert nor Aaron has hooked up with anyone else since then, but they also haven’t kissed each other. And to be fair, Robert is getting a bit desperate to feel Aaron’lips on his again.
He’s planning on taking action once they’re all at the beach again after breakfast, trying to shake off the hangover from last night.
Aaron is the most hungover as usual (shock), so he has a hard time walking through the restaurant and choosing something to eat.
“I’ll get you something to cure your hangover.”Robert tells him and Aaron turns his head, a grateful look on his face.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, just go sit down and I’ll find something.”
Aaron nods and hands Robert his plate before he tries to orientate himself to their usual table.
Robert places two poached eggs on the plate, two pieces of toast, and then grabs a glass of orange juice. When he got to their table, Aaron was resting his head on his crossed arms, eyes closed.
“Aw Loueh, your boyfriend brought you proper hangover food.”Ross tells him and Aaron lifts his head when Robert places the table in front of him, and then leaves to get himself his own food.
When Robert sits back down next to Aaron, the boy has already dug into his food and half of it is gone.
“Better?”he asks and Aaron nods, thanking him.
Then he suddenly leans over to Robert and kisses him on the cheek. Everyone sees it and watches Aaron with open mouths. Thankfully, no one says anything though.
Once everyone finishes eating, they start walking towards the beach with full bellies. The entire premises is filled with people from the age of 18 to 25, but thankfully their assigned reserved loungers are still unoccupied.
Aaron plops himself down on his usual lounger that’s next to Robert’s, and places a hand on his stomach.
“That meal was good, thanks.”
“You already thanked me.”Robert says, surprised by how nice Aaron is being.
“I know, but my head isn’t pounding anymore so I’ll be forever thankful. It’s settled, from now on you’ll be preparing my hangover food. Also, those yellow shorts are quite revealing in a good way. ”
Robert smiles at the compliment, and at the fact that Aaron just indirectly implied spending more time with him.
“What are you going to do about your hangovers after you graduate?”
Aaron goes silent so Robert can’t help but ask what’s wrong with what he said.
“I’m not sure I want to graduate yet.”
“What?”Robert’s stunned. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t know what I’ll do after that. Go back home? I can’t do anything with my degree in drama anyway.”
“Um, yeah you can? You can become a drama teacher. Or-“
“Fuck that. I don’t know.”
“Then what are you going to do if you don’t graduate? Stay another year doing what?”
Aaron shrugs, not making eye contact. “I’ll probably stay in the frat house and find something to work here in Florida. I don’t want to go back in England.”
“Why not?”
Aaron doesn’t answer, which frustrates Robert but he doesn’t push the subject any further. Instead, he thinks about what he can do to help Aaron change his mind.
He looks at Pete and Sophia making out on Pete’s lounge chair, and then turns his head to see Kerry and Finn in the water, wrestling to get the other underwater.
“Do you want to go in the water?”he asks Aaron after a few minutes, when he feels like he’s going to burn alive. Also, because he sees Dave coming towards him and he doesn’t want to turn down his suggestion to accompany him to an empty suite for the fifth time in the past two days.
“Sure.”Aaron says and gets up from his chair.
He sees Dave approaching Robert, so he quickly takes off his shirt and tells him that he’ll race him into the water. Robert happily obliges, and falls over as soon as a small wave hits his knees.
“So that’s how giraffes look when they fall.”Aaron tells him when Robert comes back up next to him, the water reaching his waist.
“I didn’t know dwarfs could swim.”
“Fuck you.”Aaron says, although it’s not mean, just playful.
“Fuck you right back.”
“Will you two stop with the banter and already fuck?”Finn yells from a few meters away and that’s when Kerry finally manages to get him underwater.
Aaron fits bumps her, completely avoiding the tension that has now been created due to Finn’s words. Robert tackles him into the water, and the last thing he hears before Aaron goes down is his scream.
“You fuckin’idiot! My hair is all wet now! I just washed it yesterday!”Aaron exclaims when he comes back up for air.
“Eh, wasn’t that good looking to begin with.”
“Oh, you’re the one to talk with those long curls of yours.”
“At least I can pull my hair up in a bun.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and Robert reaches out to slap the waistband of his trunks against his skin. Aaron retaliates by splashing water into his eyes, and then water fight begins, to which both Kerry and Finn join in.
“Stop!”Aaron eventually screams when Robert grabs him by the waist and lifts him up to throw him into the water.
“Already giving up?”
“Yes.”he whines and Robert lets him down, but Aaron wraps his legs around him. Robert looks at him weirdly because he was definitely not expecting that.
“What are you doing? Showing affection in public?”he asks.
“It’s not affection. I’m just technically straddling you underwater. Completely PG rated.”
“Oh really?”Robert smirks. “And what’s not PG rated in your opinion?”
Aaron smiles and leans in to kiss him. In plain sight. Where everyone can see that he, Aaron Dingle, is actually kissing a boy.
“See? Now that’s PG-13.”Aaron laughs and Robert nods, pursing his lips for another one.
“Eh, now you’re gettin’greedy.”But he leans in to kiss Robert again, this time with his tongue already out.
Robert’s arms properly wrap around Aaron’waist now, and they’re making out quite obscenely. He can hear Finn whistling close by, but he ignores it because this is perfect. Aaron has never kissed him in front of anyone ever, and he’s also completely (well, almost) sober.
“That was wild of you.”He breathes when Robert pulls away.
“What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City, right?”
“Right.”Robert agrees and kisses him again.
“Now that you’ve both showed us how disgusting your makeout skills are, can you please move your asses over here and join us for beach volleyball?”Ross yells.
When they get back to the shore, Pete is eyeing them curiously, and Sophia is smiling from ear to ear. Everyone else seems to have split up either in the water, at the concert currently going on a hundred meters away, or just sunbathing.
Robert observes that Holly has been staring at the two of them throughout the entire game, but she didn’t have an unpleasant expression. Once they’re back on their loungers though, she gets up and comes over.
“Shit.”Aaron mutters and puts his sunglasses on.
She sits down on Robert’s lounger, looking at Aaron.
“So you’re gay now?”
“I’m not anything. Can’t I kiss a pal?”
Robert’s stomach drops at the term.
“I’m not saying it in a negative way. I just want to know what’s going on. Is this why you broke up with me?”
“No, I broke up with you because things got too complicated and I just wasn’t feeling it. Now excuse me, but I’d like to get a tan before we leave. Four days is a short period.”
Holly makes a face and Aaron turns on his stomach, hereby ending the conversation. She sighs and gets up to leave, but not before throwing a sad look in Robert’s direction.
“Does anyone want ice cream?”Robert asks to ease the tension, and he immediately gets three different orders, so he gets up and walks over to the ice cream stand.
As he’s waiting in line, someone places a hand on his back. He turns around to see Holly looking up at him.
“Hi.”She says.
“Um, hey.”
“I just wanted you to know that I’m not mad or anything. And that thing over there wasn’t jealousy.”
“It’s fine. We’re not together. It was just a friendly kiss.”
“Didn’t seem just friendly to me.”
Robert looks at her, not sure where she’s going with this.
“I’m just glad that Aaron has found someone he’s happy with.”
“We’re not together though, so.”
“Be that as it may, but I can clearly see that he’s happy with you. And he really does deserve that.”
“Deserve what?”
“Being happy with someone. I know he wasn’t really happy when we were…sort of dating.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, when someone’s really happy and enjoying themselves, they’ve got this sparkle in their eye that says everything.”
“And he didn’t have that when he was with you?”
“I’m not even sure what we were to be honest. We only had sex and sometimes went out in groups.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”Robert asks, looking down at his feet.
“Because I loved him. Still do, actually. But as a friend. He doesn’t talk to me anymore, which hurts, but I just want to be happy. I’m not a bad guy and I don’t hold grudges.”
“Well…that’s nice then. Thanks. But we’re never going to be anything more than friends.”
“I think you could be if he wasn’t so scared.”
“I know.”Robert finally caves. “That’s what I can’t understand about him. Why he can’t just give it a try.”
“So you’re talked about being something more with him?”
“Twice actually.”
Holly looks surprised at Robert’s words.
“And he’s still talking to you?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because I only tried to have the relationship talk with him once and he ignored me for like a month. Then he was never the same. I have no idea what his problem with relationships is, but he definitely likes you. And you might have a shot.”
“Yeah but how do I do that? I’ve tried making him jealous, and it worked. Sort of.”
“Making him jealous never worked for me. He only showed affection when I initiated it first. I think he’s the type of person who thinks he’s bothering people so they want the others to make the first step.”
Robert sighs. “I always make the first step. Always.”
“Just try harder. Trust me, he probably thinks you don’t care enough for him so he wants to see how much you insist until you give up.”
Robert nods, and what Holly says makes sort of sense. He never expected to have this discussion with her though. He’s always thought Holly hates him, ever since that incident at the club.
“So my advice is, keep insisting and don’t give up on him because he will eventually open up.”
“Thanks. Although it’s really weird that we’re having this conversation, I appreciate you being so nice and actually giving me advice.”
“Sure. I hope you two work out. Because I think you complete each other.”
Before Robert can ask what she means by that, the man behind the counter asks them what they want to order. Once Robert has four different ice cream flavored cones in hand, Holly is already gone.
“Is it just me or were you socializing with my ex?”Aaron asks as soon as Robert sits down on his lounger and gives everyone their ice cream.
“Yeah I was. And I thought you said she wasn’t your ex?”
“Technically she is. I didn’t sleep with anyone while I was with her.”
“People told me-“
“People talk shit.”Aaron says. “I may have kissed a few girls here and there, but I never had sex with any of them.”
“What’s the difference between kissing and having sex?”
“Having sex is way more intimate.”
Robert shakes his head and digs into his cone, trying to end the conversation because it’s making him uncomfortable.
The rest of the afternoon passes by quickly once they join the rest of their group at the beach concert. They eat lunch on a terrace nearby and decide to check out a beach party in the evening, organized by the hotel itself for guests only.
It’s unusually chilly tonight, so everyone puts another layer over their swimsuit until they get to the beach. Robert puts a scarf in his hair so it won’t fall over his eyes if he gets into the water this time.
“Loueh come ON we have to GO!”Ross shouts once everyone is piled in the living room, having a drink or two to get their buzz flowing.
“In a minute I am doing my hair!”
Robert smiles and brings the cocktail Kerry prepared for him up to his lips.
“Let’s just leave and have him meet us down at the beach or there won’t be any alcohol left.”Finn suggests and everyone agrees with him. “Robert you can wait for him yeah?”
I’ll wait for him as long as he needs me to, Robert thinks. He nods in response and waits for everyone to leave the suite one by one so he can walk over to Aaron’room and knock on it.
“I said I’ll be a minute!”
“They’re gone Aaron. It’s just me now.”
“Christ, my hair won’t stay up in this fucking quiff.”Aaron whines before he opens the door.
He looks amazing with that ‘Love will tear us apart.”shirt and the jean shorts he’s wearing.
“Why do you even need a quiff for? You’re probably going to get your hair wet anyway.”
“You’re probably right.”He sighs. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“What would you even do without me?”Robert smiles and ruffles Aaron’hair.
“What are you doing? Leave my hair alone. It’s my best asset.”
“I beg to differ. Your ass is your best asset.”
Aaron smiles and looks down at his shirt. “Alright then. Let me put on my shoes and then we’ll be on our way.”
Robert watches him slip into his checkered Vans and then walk out of the room.
“No pre drink?”he asks when he sees Aaron checking his phone and then heading for the door.
“Nah. I’ll drink when we get to the beach. That is, if there’s still alcohol left. The party started an hour ago.”
“You take too long to get ready and it’s not even eight yet.”
Aaron shrugs and once Robert makes sure that he has the card for their suite, they leave. They don’t get very far though, because as soon as the elevator opens, a boy who’s not older than five is running out of it with tears in his eyes.
Robert crouches down next to him and places a hand on his shoulder in a comforting mDianer.
“What’s your name?”
The boy rubs his eyes to stop the tears. “Eddie.”
“Okay Eddie, why are you crying? Did you lose your mommy?”
Eddie shakes his head. “My sister.”
“How old are you?”
“Four and a half.”
Aaron places his hands on his hips as he waits. Then the elevator suddenly opens, and a girl comes out of it. When she sees Eddie, she lets out a big sigh of relief and runs over to hug him.
“Jesus Christ Eddie! You scared the shit out of me.”
Eddie seems reluctant to hug her back.
“Why did he run away?”Aaron asks, obviously not tiptoeing around the subject.
“Today’s our last night here and he wanted to actually get out of the hotel room and go see a show at the aquarium a few blocks away. But it’s my boyfriend and I’s anniversary tonight so I told him that we just want to go out to dinner, just the two of us. He got upset and ran away. I’m Ellie by the way.”
“Well, Ellie. Why would you bring your little brother with you on Spring Break?”
“Our situation at home is uh…complicated so he’s living with me in Dallas where I go to Uni until things get sorted out.”
Robert can see compassion in Aaron’eyes, so he can’t help but offer to take Eddie to the show.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’ll just take him to dinner with me.”
“No, seriously. I can take him.”Robert insists.
“We will.”Aaron adds, much to Robert’s surprise. “I’m Aaron and this is Robert, and FYI, we’re definitely not going to kidnap your little brother.”
Ellie looks so thankful she might start crying. “Thank you so much. The show is going to end around ten and I should be back in our room around half past ten. I’m in room 357. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.”
“Give me your phone number in case anything happens.”Robert tells her and they exchange numbers, before she gives them a hundred dollar bill to pay for everything.
“I’ll see you at half past ten okay?”she then says to her little brother and kisses his forehead. “These nice guys will take you to the show so behave.”
Eddie nods and steps away from her, instead choosing to latch himself to Robert’s knees. She smiles and thanks them one more time before she’s back in the elevator.
“So I guess we’re stuck with a child for the rest of the night.”Robert says when they press the button to the elevator.
Eddie is quietly standing between them, not saying anything.
“I can’t even image how uncomfortable he must feel with two strangers.”
“Better than staying locked in a hotel room.”Aaron says and the door open.
“Speaking of, how come you agreed to this? I thought you wanted to go to the beach party.”
“I know what it’s like having to babysit when you’d rather be doing something else. I have four sisters. Well, five now but I used to babysit four when I was younger. And my mother used to have to work all the time so.”
“Oh.”
Robert doesn’t ask about his dad because he wants Aaron to tell him when he’s ready.
They get a cab from the entrance and even though the ride to the aquarium is short, Robert leaves him ten dollars out of courtesy.
The queue for the tickets isn’t long, so they get their tickets without Aaron or Eddie getting inpatient. Once they’re inside the building, Eddie starts to loosen up and begins socializing with Aaron, telling him about his accomplishments in his last year of preschool.
They find their seats and Aaron offers to go and get them some snacks, so Robert hands him the money. Eddie has decided to sit between them.
“He’s nice.”Eddie tells him and crosses his ankles so that his legs won’t swing back and forth.
“Yeah he is.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
Robert is startled by the question. He was definitely not expecting a five year old to know anything about different sexualities.
“Uh. No. Why would you ask that?”
“Because he is nice to you.”
“He is nice.”Robert smiles. “Is your sister’s boyfriend nice?”
“Yes! And he used to be a girl when he was younger! That’s why my mommy kicked her out of the house.”
Robert’s expression changes. So the kid does know more than he lets on.
“And you don’t have anything against it?”
Eddie shakes his head and smiles. “I like him! He buys me candy.”
Robert laughs and makes eye contact with Aaron as he sits down. He bought a bucket of popcorn and soda for Robert, cotton candy and Fanta for Eddie, and then a beer for himself.
“I like him too.”Eddie tells Robert in a whisper than isn’t that much of a whisper, and then takes a bite out of his cotton candy.
“Of course you do. Everyone likes me. Ain’t that right Robert?”
Robert smiles and shakes his head before he drinks a bit from his soda.
“Does he like you?”Eddie asks Aaron, pointing at Robert.
“Definitely.”
“And do you like him?”
Aaron smiles and pats his head, just as the intro music starts and the lights go out so the main focus is on the giant pool in front of them.
Everyone is clapping as a woman dressed in a wetsuit appears and talks about what they’re about to see tonight.
“I love dolphins!”Eddie exclaims and claps his little hands just as both Aaron and Robert receives a text.
“Shit, I think we forgot to announce that we weren’t going to get to the beach party until later.”Aaron laughs and shows Robert the text.
Finn: u n Robert r both mia pls use protection thx hope ur not fckin on my bed I will strangle u ok have fun we ’ ll be here until @ 2am
Robert shows Aaron the text he got from Pete.
Pete: everything ok? Something happen?
“I’ll reply to Pete.”Robert says and Aaron shrugs, focusing back on his beer and the show.
Robert: everything is fine Aaron and I are at the aquarium long story tell you later
The response comes a minute later.
Pete: alright have fun ;)
Robert stares at the winky face for a while before locking his phone. Why does everyone always assume something’s going on when it’s just him and Aaron?
Just yesterday the two of them had to use the bathroom at the same time after lunch, and after they came out everyone had this knowing look on their faces. All they did was literally pee.
“What did he say?”Aaron asks.
“He said to have fun.”
“With a winky face?”
“Yeah.”
Aaron smiles and turns his head back to the show.
“What does a winky face mean?”Eddie suddenly asks.
“It means…ugh, I can’t explain it.”Aaron tells him and strokes the hair out of his eye.
“For example two people are together and they are attracted to each other, people will use winky faces to hint the fact that they should get together. And they close one of their eyes to wink.”Robert intervenes.
“Like have sex?”
Aaron chokes on his beer at Eddie’s sudden question.
“Where did you learn that word?”
“My sister always uses bad words so she has to put one dollar in the swearing jar.”
“Oh, we should definitely make one for you.”Robert tells Aaron.
“And then when it’s full I’ll buy myself something nice.”
Robert laughs and Aaron winks at him.
“You like him!” Eddie accuses and points to Aaron.
“I like who?”
“You like Robert! You made a winky face at him.”
“I think you got it all wrong mate.”
Robert bites his lip and tries to hide his disappointment.
“Yeah you do! You have heart eyes.”
“I do not have heart eyes.” Aaron playfully defends himself.
“My sister always has heart eyes around Brook! Because they looove each other.”
“Is Brook the boyfriend?”
Eddie nods and looks at Robert, smiling, then back at the show because he’s missed quite a bit of it while talking.
It ends at ten, but Eddie wants to go get some ice cream because there’s money left and he’s apparently on a sugar rush after the cotton candy.
“I don’t think we should give him any more sugar so late at night.”Robert says as they walk towards the exit of the showroom.
“Ah come on, don’t be a party pooper.”Aaron laughs.
“Yeah Robert, don’t be a party pooper!”
Eddie takes Aaron’side (of course), and then grabs his hand, now apparently liking Aaron more.
“Fine.”
As they the corner to see a photographer taking pictures of the guests by their choice.
“Would you two like a picture?”he asks them as they try to pass by. “I will send it to you via email.”
“How much does it cost?”Robert asks when Eddie eagerly nods.
“Three dollars.”
“Alright.”
Aaron lifts Eddie up and they both point to the boy while their picture is being taken. Then Robert leaves his email address and they proceed farther towards the exit.
They walk across the street to an ice cream parlor that closes at eleven, and sit down in a booth. The waiter eventually comes to take their order, and the ice creams are ready in no time.
When Eddie’s finished, he’s got ice cream all over his face but he’s smiling so Robert cleans his face with a matching smile.
They get back to the hotel at half past ten, and by the time they’re in the elevator on their way to Ellie’s room, the child is holding them both by the hand.
Robert knocks on the door and it doesn’t take long for it to be opened by Ellie, who’s really grateful to see them.
“How was it? Did you have fun?”she asks Eddie and he nods before rushing into the room.
“Thank you so much guys. I hope he wasn’t too much of a burden.”
“Of course not. He’s a nice kid. Really smart.”Aaron assures her.
Robert can see Eddie talking to Brooke about their night now, so he turns his attention back to Ellie.
“I know. That’s why I hope he won’t be too weirded out when I tell him that Brook’s a transsexual.”
Aaron makes a surprised face and Robert speaks again:
“I think he knows more that he’s letting on. Anyway, we have to get to this beach party now so I hope you have a great night. And if Eddie can’t sleep then it’s Aaron’fault.”
“No worries. Brook is always spoiling him with sweets. Goodnight. Oh, and the two of you look cute together.”
“We’re not-,”they both say at the same time but Ellie is already smiling and closing the door with a wave.
“Well that was something.”
“Oh don’t complain, you brought me to a dolphin show on our third date? I’m appalled.”Aaron dramatically says and stares at Robert as they walk down the hallway to get to the elevator.
“You liked it, shut up.”Robert mumbles and pins him to the elevator wall as soon as the doors close.
Aaron yelps in surprise but accommodates himself to the situation immediately by cupping Robert’s face and kissing him back.
When the doors open to their floor, Aaron pulls Robert towards their suite by his collar, and Robert manages to slide his car in without having to break the kiss.
“You should stop right now if you don’t want me to-“Robert starts but Aaron him up by pressing him against the door.
“Don’t want to what?”
“Do something more.”Robert breathes against his lips.
“Would that be so bad?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
“I am.”Aaron finishes the conversation and kisses him again, but Robert won’t have it.
“So you want to fuck me?”
“Fuck, you can’t just ask me that-shit.”
“Do you?”
“Fuck, so much.”Aaron exhales and Robert grips into his ass to walk him back toward the couch.
“On the fold-out couch? What if someone walks in?”
“I’ve been waiting for this for so long, trust me, I won’t last.”Robert assures him and Aaron pulls away with a smile.
“How attractive. I’ll be right back. Get undressed and don’t go anywhere.”
Robert’s stomach is doing backflips as he quickly walks over to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water and thank God for whatever is going on right now. He has no idea how Aaron changed his mind or why, but he won’t ask any questions until it’s over.
He’s been waiting for too long indeed, and the thought of fucking or being fucked by Aaron has already made him painfully hard in his jeans.
“I told you not to go anywhere.”Aaron whispers in his ear and Robert turns around, almost knocking the now empty glass over.
“I was thirsty.”
“Oh you’ll get plenty fluids soon.”
“Are you sure you’re not drunk?”
“You fucking asshole.”Aaron says and crashes their lips together. It doesn’t take long for Robert to lift him up and place him on the counter.
Aaron takes off his headscarf and then unbuttons the plaid shirt he’s wearing. Robert lets Aaron undress him and concentrates on kissing his neck instead.
When they’re both finally in their swim trunks, Aaron hops off the counter and leads Robert back into the living room.
A condom and a bottle of lube have appeared on the coffee table, which is probably why Aaron left the room.
“I still don’t get why we can’t fuck in my bed.”He tells Robert as he straddles him on the bed/couch.
“Because the idea of getting caught makes everything sexier, innit?”
“Yeah.”Aaron smiles and kisses down his neck, moving his hands all over his naked chest.
Aaron gets between his legs after a few more kisses and takes off his trunks to attach his mouth to Robert’s head.
Robert’s legs kick out from under him and he throws his head back to moan. “Fuck Aaron, your mouth feels so good.”
“Mhm.”Aaron hums around his cock and strokes him a few more times before he asks him to trade places. Robert happily obliges and doesn’t waste any time to pull Aaron’trunks off and get his mouth on him while stroking himself at the same time.
“How do you want me?”he asks Aaron as he rubs their cocks together.
“I want you to ride me first.”
Robert’s heart starts beating faster as he turns around to grab the condom and the lube from the table.
“You came prepared.”He tells Aaron who’s now lazily stroking himself as he lies back against the backrest of the couch.
“What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City.” Is the only answer he gets.
Robert crawls over to straddle him and offers to finger himself open so Aaron can see how it’s done, since he’s never done it before. His back is facing him so Aaron can have a better view, even though his cheeks are flaming.
He coats his own fingers with lube and then pushes one finger in while placing the other hand on Aaron’shoulder for support. He can’t believe this is happening; that he’s fingering himself open while straddling the guy he might be in love with.
“You look so good babe.”Aaron breathes as he watches Robert adds one more finger, pushing them as deep as it can go.
“Shit.”
Once he thinks he’s fingered himself properly so that Aaron won’t have any trouble getting in, he turns around and straddles him again so that this time they’re face to face.
Aaron strokes his sides with his hands in a gentle way that is uncharacteristic. Robert rolls the condom down his shaft and lubes it up so it can be an easy slide before he positions the head at his hole.
He slowly lowers himself on Aaron’dick and stays there for a few unbelievable moments. Aaron feels so thick and good inside of him, Robert almost sees stars.
Robert finally starts bouncing when Aaron impatiently smacks him over the ass and tells him to move or else he’ll die. He takes is slow at first, going up and down without Aaron’help so he can find just the right angle to hit his prostate as he goes.
Aaron’hands are wandering up and down Robert’s thighs now, and he’s whispering dirty sentences as he watches Robert move quicker by the second.
Robert looks at Aaron for a bit and then he pulls him in by the back of his neck so they can makeout again. As soon as their tongues are in each other’s mouths, Robert slows down his movements and twirls his hips in figure eight motions that apparently pleasure both of them to a new extent.
“Fuck Robert you feel so good.”Aaron moans against his lips, which makes Robert grind down on his cock with a breathless groan.
His thighs are shaking and everything in his body is pulsating so hard he thinks he’s going to explode because Aaron Dingle is fucking him.
“You ride me so good baby, fuck.”
Aaron’praises arouse him even more, and he knows he doesn’t want to cum yet so Robert pushes him on his back and plants his feet on the mattress so bop up and down on his own.
Aaron raises his knees to help Robert support himself from the back, and all he does is watch Robert do everything himself on his cock, while his hands are resting on his fern tattoos.
“You like this?”he asks, digging his fingers into Robert’s skin because it feels so fucking good.
“Mhm.”
Robert can’t even manage to form out proper sentences, and that’s when Aaron decides to take matters into his own hands and also bend his knees.
Robert’s legs give out as soon as Aaron starts moving his hips up and down to meet his own thrusts, and he lets him do whatever he wants because he’s too close to do anything else.
“’m so close Aaron.”He whines and twists Aaron’nipples.
Aaron takes this as an invitation to suddenly roll them over so that Robert’s under him and he can support himself with his arms on either side of Robert’s head.
“Then let me fuck you just the way I like it.”he whispers into Robert’s ear, and that’s enough to send shiver all over Robert’s back.
Robert nods just as Aaron starts to pound into him fast, and pulls one of Robert’s legs over his waist to get a better angle. His mouth is latched to Robert’s neck, jaw, chin, everywhere he can reach to bite and suck as he fucks him better than anyone ever has.
“I’m going to-fuuck.”Robert announces just as he starts cumming all over his own stomach, and Aaron didn’t even have to touch him or do anything else throughout the whole thing.
He’s still coming down from his orgasm just as Aaron hits his prostate and transforms him into a whimpering, pleading mess. Robert’s nails find his back to dig themselves there, and if there’s one thing Aaron likes in bed, it’s when someone’s being rough with him.
Robert’s long gone with his orgasm, so Aaron thrust a few more times before he pulls out, takes off the condom and straddles Robert’s chest to stroke himself.
“Can I come in your mouth?”he asks and Robert’s hands come down to his arsecheeks.
“Please.”Robert almost begs and that’s what does it for Aaron before he starts shooting his load into Robert’s mouth.
He stays like that a few seconds, then pulls off of Robert and falls down on his back. They’re both heavily breathing for a couple of minutes, trying to regain normal heartbeats.
“That was-“Robert starts, watching Aaron incredulously.
“Wow.”
Robert nods and Aaron sits up to grab a napkin from the table to wipe Robert’s chest with.
“Next time you’ll let me fuck you?”Robert suggests and Aaron just laughs without answering. It makes Robert’s smile fade.
“Great shag.”Aaron compliments and sits down on table in front of the couch with a now lit cigarette in hand.
“’m glad you think so.”
They stay in silence after that, just watching each other while Aaron finishes his cigarette and the puts it out in the ashtray next to him.
“I’m gonna go take a shower.”
Robert’s heart sinks even lower, since Aaron won’t stay there to cuddle. He’s not sure what he expected anyway.
“Alright, good night.”He says in a small voice.
Robert waits to hear the shower run in one of the bathrooms, before he goes in the second one to shower himself. And maybe cry a bit, but no one has to know that part.
When he gets out, Aaron is out of the shower and back into his room, so Robert walks over to the couch and pulls on a new pair of briefs to sleep in. He then settles in his bed and pulls the cover up to his chest, trying to fall asleep without overthinking things.
It’s dark and still quiet in the apartment when a door creaks open and feet are padding on the floor in his direction.
Robert is staring at the backrest of the couch when he feels the bed sink next to him, which means Aaron just kneeled over him.
“What are you doing?”
When Aaron doesn’t answer, Robert abruptly turns around to face him.
“I want to sleep here tonight, come on, turn back around.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to be the big spoon.”
Robert’s heart flutters.
“Why?”is apparently the only word in Robert’s vocabulary at the moment.
“You said you like to be the little spoon, so I’m going to be the big spoon.”
And then Aaron gets in bed with him, pulling the cover over himself too. One of his arms comes to rest under his head, and the other goes around Robert’s waist.
“Goodnight.”He whispers in Robert’s hair, and Robert maybe feels so content that he forgets to say it back.
-
When Ross and the rest of his suite mates enter their suite, everything is dark. He hasn’t seen Aaron or Robert at the beach party, but he’s not worried at all. As long as they’re together, he knows they’ll be okay.
Everyone goes to their room in silence, too tired from jumping to the music to make any type of noise. When Ross steps into his room, he notices Aaron isn’t there.
He doesn’t even get to turn around and go look for him before Finn comes into his room with a smirk on his face. He’s half naked and he’s got lipstick stains all over his face but he doesn’t seem to care.
“Ross mate come to the living room for a bit. But don’t make any noise.”
Ross follows him out of the room and when he gets to the living room, Pete, Kerry, and Sophia are already there, looking down at the couch.
“I can’t believe I’m seeing this.”Sophia whispers.
Ross looks down to see Aaron attached to Robert’s back under the covers, spooning him with his lips buried in his curls. They’re both sound asleep, but that doesn’t stop Finn from taking a picture.
“Finally.”Ross says, placing his hands on his hips.
“I know, right? I’ve been waiting too long for this to happen.”Kerry agrees and Pete nods in agreement, before they all tiptoe back to their rooms with smiles on their faces.
-
When Robert wakes up, his back feels cold and he discovers that it’s because Aaron isn’t there anymore. He turns on his back and sees the door to the balcony open. It’s still semi dark and the sun hasn’t risen yet, but he can see Aaron sitting cross-legged on the balcony in one of Robert’s hoodies that he must’ve stolen from his suitcase while he was asleep.
He’s smoking and staring at the ocean ahead of them when Robert joins him right after he brushes his teeth and pulls a similar hoodie over himself because the mornings in Panama City are chilly, especially if the sun hasn’t risen yet.
Robert sits down next to him and crosses his legs too.
“Morning.”
“Hi.”Aaron smiles and offers Robert a cigarette, which he accepts.
“How come you’re up so early?”
“Couldn’t sleep anymore. Had to come out for a smoke to clear my head and watch the sunset. How come you are up so early?”
“My back got too cold.”
Aaron hums to his response and leans against Robert’s shoulder.
“Can I ask you something?”he asks Robert after he puts his cigarette out on the concrete. The sun is starting to reveal itself from under the ocean and it’s so beautiful Robert almost misses Aaron’question.
“Anything.”
“Why do you keep insisting so much?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why didn’t you give up the first time I turned you down?”
“Because I care about you.”Robert answers, even though it’s hard to say these words out loud. “And I want to make you happy.”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve it. I like you, Aaron. And I hope that you’ll like me back some-“
Aaron’lips on his interrupt him, and even though Aaron has been really vague about his feelings in the past, Robert considers this a pretty clear answer.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
This is a chapter that I've worked so hard on, so I'd really like to know what you think in the comments :D
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Chapter 14: 14
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
I like this chapter so much because Aaron finally opens up and the last scene is confusing yet emotional :)
My beta hasn't read it yet so grammar mistakes may appear! Also, PLEASE make sure to read the end notes because I've got two important announcements :D
! Updates are on Saturdays/Sundays around 7pm UK time from now on !
Happy reading !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When they walk back into their suite, no one has woken up yet, so they get back under the covers on the couch and turn on the TV to watch whatever is on.
They don't cuddle as they watch, although their thighs and shoulders brush under the covers and the possibility of being blown or blowing Aaron right now is swirling through Robert's head.
So he initiates it by placing a hand on Aaron' naked thigh and rubbing soft circles into the skin there with his thumb.
"Mmmwhat are you doing?" Aaron asks and turns his head to look at him.
"Nothing? Does it look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary?" Robert innocently responds, raising his eyebrows.
Aaron shakes his head with a smile and suddenly makes a move to straddle Robert. He places a kiss on his nose, before shuffling backwards until he's lying on his stomach, between Robert's legs.
"What are you doing?" Robert asks when Aaron pulls down his briefs and takes his cock into his hands.
"Nothing? Does it look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary?" Aaron mocks and pulls the covers over his head, which completely tortures Robert since he can see him while he's being blown.
Robert can only see the blanket going up and down where Aaron' head is located, and he tries to sneak a hand under the covers but as soon as he does that, it's slapped away.
The slap turns him on even more, but before he even has time to respond to it, the door to one of the room opens and Finn comes out, then Ross, and then Kerry. Aaron' movements under the blanket immediately stop and Robert bites his lip so he won't laugh.
"Oh good morning sunshine." Kerry greets with a smirk, as Ross looks around.
"Where's Aaron?" Ross asks, and then his eyes fall on the slight bump of the blanket. "Please tell me he's not-"
"Oh my God!" Finn yelps and falls into a fit of laughter, clutching his stomach as he drops on the floor. "This is fucking go-old! Oh my God Dingle you're the best."
Kerry winks at Robert and gives him a thumbs up, and Ross lets out a noise of disgust. That's when Aaron chooses to pop his head out from under the covers, hair disheveled and lips wet from all the sucking.
"Ross, do you mind? I'm currently giving Robert over here a morning blowie whether you like it or not, so you can either shield those virgin eyes of yours, or get on with your life. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a task at hand that I need to finish, literally."
Then he gets back under the blanket and continues sucking. Robert is trying his hardest not to make any expressions or noises, because the three of them are still watching him, so he send a pleading look in Kerry's direction.
"Alright then, who wants some coffee before we head for breakfast?" she suggests.
Finn immediately stands up and follows her into the kitchen, while Ross walks towards the bathroom, claiming that he's going to wash his eyes.
Aaron, much to Robert's surprise, gets back under the blanket and finishes the job in less than two minutes. When he comes back, up, Robert grabs his head and pulls him in for a kiss.
Aaron smiles against his lips, and only pulls back from the snog when Pete and Sophia also come out of their room.
"Jesus, someone is really happy this morning." Sophia snickers and sits down on the couch. Aaron winks at her before he gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth.
When Robert sits down on one of the barstools a minute later, followed by Aaron, everyone is watching them silently.
"What?" Aaron finally asks after he gets a cup of coffee and sits back down.
"Soooo...what's up?" Kerry asks.
Robert makes a face at Finn, who's grinning like an idiot with his mouth full of a croissant he stole yesterday from the restaurant.
"Nothing's up, what about you?" Aaron innocently replies.
"I'll tell you what is up with me." Ross interrupts, placing his empty mug on the counter. "Yesterday when I came in after a beach party where two of my best friends didn't show up because they were together even though they allegedly hate each other, I walked in on said best friends spooning in the living room."
Everyone nods, but Aaron just shrugs.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replies, although he has playful, fond smile on his face.
"I do!" Finn interjects as he pulls out his phone, unlocks it, and then places it on the counter.
There's a picture of Aaron and Robert spooning on it, and then another one, and another one; each one from different angles.
"Did you actually photograph us?" Robert incredulously asks.
"Of course I did mate! That's fuckin' incredible, the two of you! Been waiting for a long time for this to happen!" Finn cheerfully says and comes around the counter to hug them both at the same time.
"We're not together Finn, we just slept-" Robert starts because he doesn't want Aaron to say it first, but Finn doesn't seem too care. He's too happy and excited about it, so they'll let him be.
At breakfast, everyone is talking about the beach party from last night, and Robert is thankful that the subject of Aaron and him has faded away for now.
The beach is a lot quieter at nine in the morning, since most than half of the hotel is still asleep from last night's party.
Robert sits down on his usual lounger and closes the umbrella he shares with Aaron, because this morning while looking at himself in the mirror, he realized that he's been in Panama City for four days now, and he's got three to go, so he better start trying to get a tan as soon as possible.
"What are you doing?" Aaron asks as he places his things on his chair.
"Trying to get a tan."
Aaron snorts but doesn't say anything else because he's quick to pull off his shirt and race Finn into the water. Robert watches him for a few seconds before he pulls out his iPad to check his social media and maybe watch a film.
At some point, his hair gets incredibly uncomfortable so he takes out the bandana he has in his beach bag and puts it on to keep his hair back.
Much better, he thinks, and his eyes drift to Aaron once again, who's currently trying to drown Finn, so Robert returns to his movie.
Robert's interrupted a few minutes later, when a shadow casts over his face. He looks up and sees Aaron standing next to him, ruffling his hair with a towel.
"Lift your arms." He tells Robert, who does as asked, even though he's confused.
Aaron then spreads Robert's legs, turns around, and sits down between them. He leans back against Robert's chest after he pushes his sunglasses up his nose and closes his eyes.
"Are you comfortable?" Robert asks in a sarcastic tone, although he doesn't mind Aaron laying on him at all.
"Very. Although my hair in my eyes is stressing me out."
"Hold up."
Robert places his iPad on Aaron' chest and stretches over to his bag to take out another bandana that he pulls on Aaron' head.
"Thanks."
Robert can feel Aaron starting to relax against his chest, and even though he knows he's probably going to have a Aaron shaped tan later, he doesn't mind this one bit.
He ends up falling asleep in the sun once the movie finishes, and Kerry shaking him awake to tell him that they're all going to head over to lunch in the restaurant wakes him up.
"What time s'it?" Aaron mumbles, obviously not happy with the fact that he just got woken up.
"It's almost four and lunch ends at half past four. You've been asleep for like, six hours all wrapped up with each other." She smiles. "If you want some pictures as a souvenir, just ask my boyfriend, he's got plenty on his phone. I believe he even made a folder titled 'Larry'."
"The fuck is Larry?" Aaron asks and sits up, arching his back and stretching his arms.
"It's your two names combined. Anyway, I'm starving, so I'll leave you two to it. You know where to find us. Also, Ross has asked me to remind you that this is a public place and you can get arrested for voyeurism."
Robert smiles and crosses his legs, stopping Aaron from getting up and gathering his stuff.
"Let me go Robert." he says, but it's obvious he's not too bothered by the position, even though he should be facing Robert for things to be more intimate.
"No. I like having you close."
Aaron bites his lip. "Well, you won't have me if I'm going to die from starvation because you're not letting me go get lunch."
"Ugh, fine. We'll go together since I'm kind of hungry too."
"It's your fault for always eating vegetables and fruits." Aaron scoffs.
"Those fruits and vegetables are the reason you love me coming into your mouth."
"How would you even know how your come tastes like?"
Aaron has finished packing and is now staring at him.
"You didn't hesitate kissing me after that blowjob this morning."
"You're sick."
Robert winks at him as he finally packs up his things and then stands up from the lounger so they can head over to the restaurant.
-
"What are we doing tonight?" Aaron asks a couple of hours later when they're all chilling in their suite after a large meal. It's incredibly hot outside and most of the people that can usually be found at the pool or anywhere around in the hotel, are now nowhere to be found, probably in their rooms.
"Definitely something that doesn't involve going outside in this heat." Kerry tells him as she sips on her orange juice.
"Movie marathon!" Finn exclaims and pats her on the back while he gets up from the chair.
"Yeah, we can watch pay per view movies." Sophia agrees, settling on the couch next to Aaron.
Robert, Aaron, Sophia, Kerry and Ross take the couch, while Pete and Finn sit on the ground in front of it as they scroll through the list of movies on the TV.
They decide on watching Fast and Furious 7, since only Ross and Aaron have seen the movie and everyone is too distracted by the heat to even care.
The air conditioners are running on the lowest temperature possible at the highest speed, yet they still feel like they're going to die because of the heat, even though they're all in their swimsuits.
"Babe, I'm dying." Aaron mutters into his ear when he movie is already half in, resting his cheek against Robert's shoulder.
"It's just a bit of heat. It's gonna get colder in the evening." Robert whispers back. "Now behave and get your hand off my thigh."
"Yes sir."
Aaron settles back against the couch with a pout and crosses his arms, but pushes his leg towards Robert so they can touch.
By the time the movie's finished, Pete has tears in his eyes and so do the girls. Robert would have probably cried too if he hadn't been too distracted by Aaron' closeness to actually pay attention to what was happening in the movie.
"It's already eight so I think we can go to dinner because 'm starving." Finn says as he checks the weather on his phone. "Also, the heat has gone down."
"Isn't Steve Aoki playing tonight on the beach?" Ross asks once they're all dressed for dinner.
"He only starts playing at ten, I checked. Now come on, I am literally wasting away!"
Robert looks towards Aaron, who smiles when he realizes he's being stared at.
"Do you maybe want to go at the Italian restaurant on the first floor?" Robert nervously suggests.
"Are you asking me out on a date?" Aaron asks, trying to fake astonishment.
Robert shrugs, and everyone groans when Aaron leans in to press a kiss to his lips.
"We'll leave you two here, but don't you dare miss out on a beach party again because you want to fuck. It's spring break, you can fuck all the time when you get home." Finn tells them before he's out the door.
"What a bunch of idiots." Aaron fondly mumbles. "Shall we, then?"
Robert nods.
It turns out that they should have made reservations the night before if they wanted to dine at the Italian restaurant, but Robert eventually manages to talk the hostess into finding them a table.
"She totally thinks she's going to go home with you tonight." Aaron tells him once they're sat down at the table in the corner with a view of the pool.
"Then she's wrong."
"Who are you going home with then hm?"
Robert looks up from the menu at him with a playful smile on his face.
"Don't know yet."
"Asshole." Aaron laughs, flipping him off before he opens the menu.
Robert shushes him so he can concentrate on the menu in front of him.
"So this is technically our third date right?" Aaron asks once they've ordered.
"I like that you're counting, yes."
"Well if I weren't counting you'd be calling me an asshole."
"No I wouldn't. I didn't even think of this as a date until you said it."
"Yes you did you sly bastard." Aaron mutters even though he's smiling.
They both know that it's more probable for Robert to land on the moon than to forget something like this, especially if it comes to Aaron.
"It's hard for me to believe that you would see this as a date though, since you've been so...distant with me about this kind of stuff."
Aaron makes an uncomfortable face. "Yeah well...I'm trying to become more open minded now, you just have to be patient."
"And if I am? What happens then?"
"You'll just have to wait and see."
Aaron winks and stretches his legs under the table so he can wrap them around Robert's.
It's good enough for Robert. For now, at least.
Their food comes several minutes of conversation later, and they happily dig in.
"So now that everyone knows we're fucking, are there some new things you'd like to try out?" Aaron asks him nonchalantly with his mouth full.
Robert chokes, because of course this would be a subject Aaron wouldn't have any shame discussing over dinner.
"Uh...not really. I like normal sex, like."
"Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you only like to have sex on a bed. That's boring."
"Well, you've only had sex with a guy twice so I don't think you're the expert in this domain." Robert tells him.
"Yeah, but if we compare how many times we've had sex, then trust me, I'm definitely the expert here."
Robert stares at him, trying to make his heart slow down at the same time.
"Fair enough."
"So are you going to tell me about your dirty fantasies now?"
"Fine. I've always wanted to have like...sex on a balcony. Or somewhere in almost public."
"You really are into that almost getting caught thing?" Aaron asks, looking at him with admiration in his eyes.
"You could say that. What about you?"
"Well...I'm pretty sure I've done almost everything in every place."
Robert snorts. "You're quite full of yourself, aren't you?"
"Well, I was full of you last night, so."
Robert smiles. "You weren't complaining."
"I'm not complaining now either, so."
Robert knows that Aaron also said 'What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City', and he's planning on comforting him about it, even though the answer might not be that pleasant to hear.
By the time they order desert, Aaron is already playing footsie with Robert under the table, while huge grins play on both their faces.
"Can we get this to go?" Aaron asks when the waiter comes over with their orders. He sighs and rolls his eyes, but goes back to the kitchen to pack their desert nonetheless.
"Eager to get back?"
"Don't get too excited, we promised everyone we'd join them on the beach to see Steve Aoki."
Robert pouts.
"Think you can come in five minutes while I suck you off in the bathroom though?" Aaron questions, trying to make him feel better.
Robert's eyes light up and he nods. "Give me three."
-
Robert doesn't get to bring up the talk the next day, or the next one, and before he knows it, it's their last day in Panama City and he still doesn't know what this thing with Aaron is.
They haven't fucked again, but a lot of blowjobs and even a rim job might have occurred within the last two days.
Their plan for today is to attend the giant hotel party that lasts all night, on each level of the hotel, to celebrate the last day of Spring Break.
"I'm so fuckin' pumped for tonight! Even though it's our last day here, I'm glad I got to spend it with you guys!" Finn excitedly slurs, having already downed a few pre-shots.
Everyone raises their glasses and toasts while Finn gets off the coffee table in their suite.
"To Panama City!" Aaron raises his glass once again, locking eyes with Robert across from him.
Robert repeats the words before they both down the champagne glass. It's probably a bit too fancy for a trashy spring break party but oh well.
The music in the hallway starts at ten pm sharp, and the lights dim out to set the mood.
Finn screams and launches himself into the hallway, followed by a laughing Kerry who will have to take care of him in a few hours.
Robert turns his head to look at Aaron, who's already mingling with Bryan and a girl he's with, all wide smiles and glimmering eyes. Which also means that he's planning on getting drunk tonight, so Robert has to keep an eye on him and make sure he's alright.
Holly approaches him at some point after he dances with Aaron in the middle of the hallway and left him with Ross to go back and get himself another beer.
"So I see you and Aaron are getting along quite well." She tells him and leans against the counter.
"Yeah we're...alright. I guess."
"Together?"
"Not yet. He keeps saying this phrase about what happens in Panama City stays in Panama City and it's just...I don't know. I'm afraid that whatever we had during this trip won't continue back in Tallahassee."
"Well it's your last night here, so I suggest you both get really drunk, have some sex to sober yourselves up, and then talk about your feelings." Holly jokes, but Robert doesn't think it's that bad of an idea.
"I was joking." She adds, but Robert is already downing half of his beer.
He finds Aaron half naked in the hallway; swaying his hips to a Beyoncé song while Ross is throwing Monopoly bills at him.
"Harreh! Come join oohz! We're having a strip off!" Aaron yells at him and points to Pete who is currently struggling to get his kit off.
You know shit is about to get serious when Pete is stripping in public, Robert thinks and walks over to them, handing the bottle to a girl who is busy drooling all over a guy's mouth against the wall.
"How about we put your shirt back on?" Robert softly suggests and grabs Aaron' shirt off the floor.
Aaron unzips his jeans instead and pushes them down his legs, which earns him yet another set of hundred Monopoly bills from a drunk-and possibly stoned-Ross.
When he sees Robert reach out for him, Aaron squeaks and quickly steps back, almost falling over Pete.
"Aaron-" Robert starts but doesn't get to finish because Aaron takes off running right past Robert and down the hallway.
Robert loses him in the mass of bodies, but he can see that he's entered a room farther away. He walks after him and begins checking every room until he finds one with the door actually closed, so he enters.
There is a couple actually having sex on the couch, so Robert quickly opens the first door he sees, to find Aaron jumping on the bed.
"Are you high?" Robert asks when he sees Aaron smiling like a creep. He stops and gets down from the bed, once again running and ducking under Robert's arm as he exits the suite.
"Uh...sorry for the inconvenience." He tells the two people on the couch, who haven't stopped regardless. "Use protection. Unless you're trying for a baby that is-just-yeah. Alright."
He leaves the suite with a flaming face, eyes once again searching for Aaron. He finds him grinding against a girl a few meters away, and she's clearly enjoying having a good time with an attractive man who's currently just wearing his briefs.
She whispers something in his ear and that's when Aaron shies away with a polite smile.
"She invited me back to her room!" he informs Robert, who just wraps an arm around his waist and lifts him over his shoulder.
"Am I upside down?" Aaron wonders as Robert walks back towards their suite.
It's half past midnight when he enters, and he can see Ross passed out on the floor, with red cups placed all around his body. Bryan and Dave are on the couch passing a joint, so Robert walks to Aaron and Ross's room (now only Ross's room since Aaron cuddled him to sleep every night for the past three nights) to set Aaron down.
"The room is spinning Robert." Aaron whines and covers his eyes with his hands.
"I'll be right back with some snacks and water. Don't leave."
Aaron nods so Robert leaves the room to get to the kitchen. He finds a bag of chips and a bottle of orange juice on the counter, so he grabs those before he returns to the room.
Thankfully, Aaron is still on the bed, but this time with his phone in hand and a serious expression on his face. He happily drinks and eats what Robert brought him, and by the time he's taken a cold shower, he's sobered up a bit and is now his usual self.
"I'm going to check on Kerry and Sophia. I'll be right back."
Aaron nods.
He finds Sophia and Kerry in Pete and Sophia's room, trying to put Finn and Pete to sleep.
"You alright?" Robert asks them.
"Yeah, we're just putting them to sleep here and we'll sleep in the other room. Go take care of your boyfriend." Kerry assures him with a wink, so Robert leaves.
He finds Aaron sprawled out on the bed. Naked.
Robert's words catch in his throat as he closes the door, not taking his eyes off of him.
"Staring, are we?" Aaron smirks and pulls the duvet over himself.
"You better then?"
"Yeah...didn't drink that much."
"Good."
Robert takes off his pants and shirt so he can join Aaron on the bed. The music is still thumping outside on the hallway, two doors away, but it's faded and quite nice.
"Cuddle me." Aaron tells him as soon as Robert is under the covers with him and turns off the light.
"Alright."
Robert lies on his back and opens his arms so Aaron can lie on his chest and wrap his arms around him.
"You smell good."
"I smell like alcohol." Robert chuckles and buries his nose in his hair.
"Are you actually smelling me?"
"Maybe."
There is a short silence after that, until Robert finally asks the question Aaron has promised to answer.
"Will you tell me about your dad?"
He feels Aaron tense under his arms, so he begins stroking his back gently to try and calm him down, make sure Aaron knows he's safe and can tell him anything without being judged.
"Alright." Aaron softly agrees. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything. Why you're afraid of commitment...why you won't put a label to your sexuality, why you moved here, why you drink so much, why you're afraid to be yourself. I want to know everything you're comfortable to share."
Robert feels him gulp before he finally opens his mouth.
"Well, I guess it all started with my dad really. Funny how I can't get rid of him no matter how much I try. He was the type of dad that would comment on absolutely everything I did, and no matter how much I tried to be the best in school or in sports or whatever else, it was never good enough for him. I was the only guy in the family at the time, and he wasn't pleased with the fact that he had four girls. So he wanted me to be this...'manly' man by signing me up for all kinds of sports and activities that I wanted no part of."
Robert can feel Aaron' heart speeding up in his chest, so he begins to rub soothing circles into his lower back under the blanket.
"He kept trying to force me into basketball, rugby, tennis, and I absolutely hated it. The only thing I liked was footie, but he wasn't pleased with just that. I remember being ten and telling him that I didn't want to play sports, and that I wanted to act in the school play and sing...and that's the first time he hit me. He didn't physically abuse me that much, but the emotional abuse was worse than any punch would have been. It got worse when I was fifteen and actually went to try out for a small role in the school play. He found out because Fizzy accidentally told him at dinner one night, so he literally flipped the table and began shouting these...rude words at me that I don't want to repeat because I can still hear his voice."
Robert bites his lip, and he tries not to cry because Aaron is so strong, telling him all this with a stable voice and nothing but his racing heart for proof that he's still shaken about everything.
"When I was fifteen, I liked to dress with...you know. Colorful skinnies, suspenders, whatever the trend was then. But also because I liked being in the center of attention and feeling good about myself. And of course, he didn't like the fact that I dressed too 'faggy', is what he called it. There wasn't one day that he didn't call me that, not one. He made sure to remind me that dressing and behaving like that was wrong and that no one would ever accept me. And it eventually got into my head. He forbid me to go out with any guy friends; I'd have to come straight home from school. Eventually I understood what I had to do to please him, so I began dating and fucking girls that I didn't even like. And he was so happy that he finally had the fifteen-year-old son he's always wanted. I don't even want to think about how much of a dick I was back then because of how I had to act. I think I even used the f-and the n-word on a couple of occasions, because I thought that's the only way my dad would accept me. It's stupid, I know-"
"No, it isn't. I get it. Your dad was horrible-"
"But nothing even came close to the day he left us out of the blue when I was sixteen. He just walked out one day after he caught me in bed with one of my guy friends-we weren't even doing anything, we were just watching TV in my room, but he flipped big time. He packed up and just left. My mother wasn't even at home when he did, so when she came back from work she was heartbroken. He left us with nothing. My mum had five children to raise with a paycheck that wasn't even enough to pay the bills, so I got a job to help her out. I tried to be tough and raise my sisters while pretending that everything was fine, even though inside I was so fucking sad because it was my fault that our dad had left us. My mother blamed herself, and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her why he actually left. So I began drinking and smoking at sixteen to forget about everything."
Robert squeezes him closer and tries to look down at him, but Aaron is staring at his chest.
"It all got worse when I was almost seventeen and my mom began dating. Guys came and left, and she was heartbroken every single time each of them left once they saw what a fuck up the family was and couldn't handle the pressure. That's why I don't really believe in love or commitment. I believe in the idea of love; that people can stay loyal to one person for the rest of their lives or even for a short period of time because they feel something. But I don't believe that someone can actually be in love with someone else without having an ulterior motive. No one can love you just because that's what they feel. I can't understand that."
Robert wonders if Aaron can actually hear his heart breaking, since he's so close to it.
"And what you said to me about tattoos that night, about how I'm afraid of commitment but I have them all over my body...tattoos won't just get up and leave you one day because they got bored of you."
That's when Aaron finally looks up at him, eyes shining from the tears that haven't been spilt yet.
"I drink because there isn't a day I don't think about how much pain I've caused my family for being who I am. That's why I try to hide who I am even from myself, because I will eventually fuck things up one way or another. So now you know why I am the way I am and why I don't want things get serious between us-I'll end up hurting you."
There's a long, dead silence for a minute, when they just stare at each other, trying to figure what the other is thinking.
"If you want to leave right now it's fine. I just didn't want to keep this from you any longer because the more I postpone the truth the more it will hurt you, and that's the last thing I'd ever want to do Robert. You're probably the closest I've ever come to actually feeling something for someone and it scares me, so I just want you to know what you think you want to get into."
Robert cups his face with both palms, pulling him closer to his lips.
"There's nothing you could say about your past or about yourself that will make me want you less." He whispers to Aaron, who watches him with incredulous eyes.
Robert's not going to bring up the 'What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City' thing tonight because it's definitely not the right time. He just wants to let Aaron know how much he cares about him and that he'll wait for him to come along as much as he needs to.
"I eat my toenails." Aaron says with a serious expression, but his smile gives him away.
Robert lets out a loud laugh, knowing that Aaron just wants to ease the tension and get over the fact that he just poured his heart out.
"That's just gross." Robert tells him, pecking his lips.
"I am gross, see? You definitely wouldn't want to be with a gross person."
"Actually, there's nothing I want more right now."
Aaron stares at him, searching Robert's eyes for any trace of humor. When he can't find any, he gives Robert the brightest smile as he leans over to press their lips into a deep kiss that means the world to Robert right now.
As they continue kissing, with the music completely fading away once they're only focused on each other, they both have three words they're too afraid to say playing on the tip of their tongue.
I need you
I love you
Don't leave me
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
So I've got two things to say/ask:
1. The story will officially have 16 chapters, which means that there are 2 chapters to go that I already have plDianed out. The last chapter will be up on the 5th of July :)
and
2. My other Larry chaptered story, Baby Heaven's in Your Eyes had great success, so I decided to publish it on a self publishing site in order for people to be able to buy paperback copies of it. My question is, would anyone be interested in buying a copy of You're An Asshole (But I Love You)?
Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and also answer my 2nd question in the comments :D
! New chapter will be up on June 27th, around 5pm UK time !
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Chapter 15: 15
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
This chapter is a bit of everything: smut, fluff, and a really emotional part at the end!
PLEASE make sure to read the end notes because I've got two important announcements :D
Happy reading !
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Robert.”
“No.”
“Robert.”
“No.”
“Robert!”
“He said no!” Aaron exclaims against Robert’s chest, not opening his eyes. “Go away Pete before I personally stand up and strangle you.”
“I would be afraid right now if you weren’t five feet seven and cuddling Robert naked.” Pete replies and Aaron grits his teeth.
The remark brings a chuckle out of Robert, who rubs his eyes before he opens them.
“Oh so now you’re awake? Great. Listen, you two need to get up and start packing because we’ve got a bus to catch in three hours.”
Aaron groans and presses a kiss to Robert’s chest before he finally sits up to stretch. Pete leaves them alone so they can finally get to work, but not before yelling that they can ‘do sexual stuff later’.
“Why does everyone assume we’re going to fuck the second we’re alone?” Aaron asks, getting out of bed to pull his briefs on.
“Because you can’t resist me.”
Aaron snorts. “Yeah, right. Maybe the other way around.”
Robert gets up from the bed and walks out of the room to get to his suitcase, but not before slapping Aaron’ ass and kissing him on the back of his head.
Everyone meets in the lobby an hour later, with packed suitcases, mild hangovers, and sad looks on their faces.
After the check out, and thirty minutes later, the bus arrives. And Robert still doesn’t get the chance nor the courage to ask Aaron about the whole Panama City deal.
-
Robert doesn’t get to ask him about it until the USA College Cup final two weeks after Spring Break. He only saw Aaron in class, a few times at Starbucks where he walked in with his team before practice, twice on the field as they played to qualify further for the UCC, and one time when the entire team came to celebrate the semi-final win at the restaurant he worked at.
All those times, all Aaron did was smile or wink at him, and even though Robert would return the glances, he was hurting.
So on Saturday afternoon when he’s supposed to take photos of the final, he hangs his camera around his neck, checks his phone, and enters the locker room. All the other times he’s been in the team’s locker room, Aaron was nowhere to be seen because he was either showering, talking to Coach in his office, or already warming up on the field.
This time however, Aaron is sitting on the bench in front of his locker, tying his shoes while Pete talks his ear off about something.
“Harold! How nice to see you.” Aaron teases as soon as his eyes set on Robert, who’s making his way towards them. “Make sure to get some good shots of me, okay?”
“Always.” Robert smiles.
“But not that many of my bum.”
Robert shakes his head and crouches down in front of them.
“So what happens if you win the cup?”
Pete’s eyes light up at the question before he eagerly answers it.
“We get a lot of money to invest in new equipment, publicity, and opportunities to pursue further careers in football because club managers from all around the world are coming today.”
Robert nods, not taking his eyes off of Aaron though.
“Alright, everyone who isn’t on the team please leave the room so we can have a talk!” Coach announces, coming out of his office with a notepad in hand and a serious look on his face.
Robert stands up, gripping into his camera, and then leaves after he wishes the guys good luck. He enters the field as instructed; through the main entrance where the players will also enter, so he can get shots as they come out of the locker room.
Fifteen minutes later, the team finally walks out and Robert makes sure to get perfectly focused shots of every one of them.
He gets a great shot of Aaron winking at the camera, and Finn sticking his tongue out. They’re all obviously nervous though, because they’ve never gotten this far in the championship (always got eliminated in the semi-finals), and it’s Aaron’ last chance to prove himself as a team captain.
“If we win this, Coach promised to pay for the celebration party himself. Drinks, girls, everything.” Pete tells him quickly as he passes Robert.
Robert can’t even focus on only one thing, because the stadium is way too loud and there are still players walking out with different expressions.
Once Coach appears next to him, Robert lets the camera down and follows him to the benches where the players sip from their waters before a quick warm-up.
“Do you think they’re going to win this?” he asks Coach once he’s finished talking to one of his assistants.
“If Dingle plays his best, there’s no doubt in my mind.”
And yeah, there’s no doubt in Robert’s mind either. He just wishes that Aaron would be aware of how capable he is of taking his team to the top and actually doing something with his life after he graduates.
Robert is back on his knees when the game starts, trying to take the best shots (of all the players equally this time). The away team scores in the first twenty minutes, which causes half of the stadium to erupt in cheers, and the other half to start cussing.
It’s obvious that Aaron’ confidence about winning the match has already been decreased, so Robert pulls out his phone while the refs are arguing with Aaron to text Kerry.
Robert: I need u to go buy some condoms and lube during halftime pls
The reply comes a minute later.
Kerry: alright but I need details :))
Robert: im thinking about rewarding Aaron if they win the game ;)
Kerry: say no more
Robert smirks and looks back at the field to see that their team is currently advancing towards the opposite team’s goal, yet they miss the shot.
Thirty minutes later, Finn scores and runs a lap with a giant grin on his face while the whole team tackles him.
“Good job Barton! If you play like this for the rest of the game, we can take the cup! Dingle, get your fucking head in the game!” Coach yells at them and the whole team turns their heads to smile, except for Aaron, who can’t do anything but look at his feet.
When halftime finally comes, the score is 1-1, and by this point, no one knows for sure who will win the game. Robert looks at Aaron as he walks over to get a sip from his water before joining the team in the locker room.
“Aaron!” he calls out.
Aaron turns his head and walks back towards him with a raised eyebrow. It’s obvious that he’s annoyed of how the game is going, and also by the fact that Coach doesn’t seem to put pressure on anyone but him.
“What?”
Robert leans over to whisper in his ear with his most seductive tone (or so he thinks):
“If you win this game, I’ll fuck you against the wall in the locker room after.”
He can feel Aaron tense before he gives a brisk nod and then walks off.
“Whatever you told him just now, I hope it’ll be damn good for him to get his shit together.” Coach tells him as he passes to follow Aaron inside.
Five minutes before the second half starts, Kerry joins him on the sidelines with a small pharmacy bag.
“I got what you’ve asked for.” She says in a low, funny voice as she hands him the bag.
“I feel like we’re dealing drugs.” Robert smiles and stuffs it in his back pocket.
“Well, I did get these at the drugstore.” Kerry says and they both chuckle, because who isn’t a fan of a good lame pun?
He thanks her, and then tells her he’ll pay her back after the game.
“No need to thank me babe, I may have stolen one of the condoms. You had a really good idea so I made sure to also share it with my boyfriend.”
“Aaron isn’t my boyfr-“
“Of course he isn’t your boyfriend. You just like to fuck, cuddle, and sometimes kiss in public. Completely platonic.”
Before Robert can get the chance to reply to her, she’s already headed back inside to get back to her squad before they do their halftime routine.
The team comes out shortly after, and they looked pumped up from a really motivating speech that probably was delivered just minutes prior.
The game starts and ten minutes in, Aaron manages to pass the ball to one of his teammates, who scores a goal after a few dodges that almost send him into the ground. He’s getting tackled seconds after the ball hits the net by smiling teammates who are certain that they’re going to win this.
Their excitement fades away though, when the opposite team scores ten minutes before the game is supposed to end, and everyone is already talking about extra time and penalty kicks.
When Aaron and Robert make eye contact just before the ref blows the whistle, Robert takes his fist to his cheek and mimes a blowjob, with no shame at all. He can see Aaron’ expression harden and his jaw tighten, but his attention drifts back to the ball when the whistle is heard.
“I didn’t know the two of you were together.” Coach tells him without taking his eyes off the game.
“We’re not.”
“Alright then. If you are, I’d like to congratulate you for finally tying him down to just one person. He deserves to be happy.”
“Why does everyone keep repeating that?” Robert asks, although he agrees.
“Because that’s how it i-DINGLE, ASSIST BARTON! COME ON!” he suddenly yells out and startles Robert, who looks back on the pitch.
Pete and Aaron are advancing towards the goal, passing the ball to each other from time to time when someone from the opposite team tries to interfere.
“PASS THE BALL DINGLE! PASS THE FUCKING BALL!” Coach yells and throws his arms around to accentuate his point.
Aaron turns his head to see that Pete is free, but someone on the opposite team stretches his leg out to block Aaron, which sends Aaron directly face-first into the grass.
The game stops and everyone is screaming different things like ‘foul’, ‘get up’, and ‘he’s only acting’. When the ref pulls out a yellow card for the opposite team, half of the stadium starts booing.
“They’re letting him do a penalty kick?” Robert asks Coach.
“It was either a foul, or Aaron can act really good.”
The two teams arrange themselves in front of the away team’s goal, and Aaron stares at the ball for a few hard seconds, before he steps back and kicks it with all the force the can muster.
The ball flies directly over the goalkeeper’s head, and into the net.
Although there are three minutes left of the game, everyone on their team is ecstatic as they congratulate Aaron, and trying to keep a bit of modesty by not jumping around too much.
It’s obvious that they’re going to take home the cup, and Robert is already thinking of how he’s going to fuck Aaron in the locker rooms for this well deserved win.
As expected, the game ends three minutes later, and their team tackles each other on the ground with loud screams of joy. The cheerleaders invade the pitch and some do their practiced victory dance, while the others go ahead to congratulate their boyfriends.
Once the cup is handed to him, Aaron is suddenly lifted up by Pete and Finn and places on their shoulders to parade through the field as confetti falls.
Robert smiles widely when they make eye contact, and Aaron mouths something that either means ‘you’re racist’ or ‘you promised’. He nods, hoping that it wasn’t the first option because in that case, Aaron would get a wrong impression of him.
“Now that’s a good fucking game.” Coach tells them in the locker rooms.
Robert is sitting on one of the benches, drenched in the champagne that Finn opened a few minutes earlier to spray on everyone within a ten-meter radius.
There are two interviewers with three cameras interviewing everyone all around; one the interviewees being a soaked, smiley Aaron, who has his shirt off and hair sticking to his forehead.
Robert can’t get his eyes off of him because he’s absolutely beautiful like that, and to say that he’s eager for them to be left alone so he can finally wreck him is an understatement.
When the interviewer moves on to Bryan, Aaron comes and sits down next to Robert on the bench.
“Good game.” Robert tells him as calmly as he can.
“Thanks. So about the thing you said earlier…is it-“
“Yeah you can um-you can ignore that if you want to. I mean I get if you don’t-“
“Who said I didn’t want a prize other than a trophy?” Aaron smirks and bumps their shoulders together. “You’ll just have to wait thirty more minutes until everyone clears out to go to the frat house and set things up for the party. It starts at nine by the way, and I expect you there.”
“Aaron Dingle is inviting me to a party? Never thought I’d see the day.” Robert teases.
“Oh, shush. I need to get some alcohol in me. I haven’t drunk in like, two weeks and I feel physically weak.”
Robert shakes his head fondly, then wonders if he should ask the question that’s been on the tip of his tongue ever since they came back from Panama City. He does.
“Do you remember what you said um-during spring break? That whatever happens in Panama City stays in Panama City?”
“Yeah?” Aaron responds, unsure about the direction that this discussion is headed.
“Well, did you mean it?”
Before Aaron gets the chance to answer, he’s called inside Coach’s office for something that seems serious. Robert stares at Aaron’ back until he disappears inside the office, and he can’t do anything but wait.
He’s looking through the photos he’s taken and makes a mental note to leave his camera in the magazine editor’s office tomorrow.
Aaron comes out of the office with an unreadable expression on his face twenty minutes later, when the locker room is almost empty. Finn is tying his shoes and Bryan is waiting around for his so they can get a ride to the frat house together with Kerry.
“Well then, we’re off.” Finn tells Aaron before they fistbump. “Tell coach we’re going to the supermarket around five and we’ll meet in the parking lot.”
Aaron nods, and waits for them to leave the room before he finally straddles Robert on the bench.
Robert looks up at him with a surprised expression, hands immediately going down to Aaron’ thighs.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“You. Soon, hopefully.” Aaron grins and kisses him quickly.
“Wha-“
“There were two men from Manchester United inside the office.” He breathes.
“That’s. Wow.”
“They said that they are pleased with the way I was on the field and that they’d like me to come to football practice in Manchester this summer.”
“So that means-“
“If they like me, maybe I’ll get to play second string in the fall and everything will evolve from there.”
“And you said you didn’t know what to do after Uni.” Robert smiles, but inside he’s breaking. This means that he won’t get to see Aaron anymore once he graduates. For God knows how long.
The only thing he can think of to do in order to mask his sadness is to kiss Aaron.
They’re interrupted by Coach coughing behind them with a subtle smirk on his face.
“Well I’m off too. I left the keys in my office for you two-make sure to close up and bring them to me on the first occasion.”
“Oh, Finn told me to let you know that they’re going to the supermarket at five. I’ll bring you the keys then.” “Great. Have a nice…day. Dingle, Sugden.” He nods. And then he’s off, closing the door behind him.
“Well that was a weird conversation to have while you’re in my lap.” Robert chuckles, digging his fingers into Aaron’ exposed skin.
“Shush. Now let’s get to work.”
“Aren’t you tired after the game?”
“If this is your subtle way of telling me I need a shower because I’m sweaty and smelly-“
“No, you’re not smelly. We can um-shower together. After.”
“Well if we keep talking there will be no after now will there?” Aaron cockily asks.
“What about ‘What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City’?”
“Fuck that. I want you now.” Aaron breathes and crashes their lips together.
They make out sloppily for a while, until Aaron’ apparently had enough and takes Robert’s shirt off. He lets it fall on the floor next to the bench and goes back to kiss him.
“You were so hot on the field today.” Robert mumbles against his lips.
“Yeah? Tell me more.” Aaron smiles and stands up between his legs to shake off his shorts. He toes his shoes off and then pulls down his socks so that he’s only in his briefs.
Robert looks up at him and doesn’t break eye contact as he frees Aaron’ cock from his pants and takes it in his palm.
Aaron’ hands come up to Robert’s hair and he pulls on it when Robert wants to close the distance between his lips and Aaron’ cock. He moans and eagerly leans down to finally get Aaron into his watering mouth.
“Shit. I almost forgot how it felt to be sucked off.” Aaron chuckles, and then moans when Robert tries to take him deeper.
They both know that Robert’s got a gag reflex, but that’s never stopped him from trying to deepthroat Aaron the best he could, and Aaron is really grateful for that.
When Robert starts playing with his head, tongue swirling and licking around it, Aaron thinks it’s enough or else he’ll come right then and there.
“Switch.” He breathes, and Robert doesn’t waste any time to stand up and let Aaron take his place.
Aaron quickly unbuckles Robert’s belt, and then pulls down his jeans together with his underpants in one motion.
“That’s it, suck it.” he breathes and tangles his fingers in Aaron’ hair.
“Getting cocky are we?”
“How ironic.” Robert laughs and Aaron rolls his eyes, before he goes back to sucking.
He flats out his tongue against the underside of Robert’s cock and sucks him in until he hits the back of his throat.
Robert lets out a low moan and doesn’t do anything else to guide Aaron, just lets him do what he knows best.
“O-okay you need to stop now.” He tells Aaron, who isn’t planning on doing that any time soon apparently.
“And what if I don’t?”
“Then I’m not sure whether I’ll be fit enough to fuck you.”
They both know he’s lying; Robert would never pass out an opportunity to fuck Aaron, not even on his deathbed.
“Liar.”
But Aaron gets up anyway, wiping his mouth with a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. His cheeks are flushed and he looks so irresistible that Robert can’t even believe he gets to kiss him.
Robert suddenly grips into his thighs and lifts him up so Aaron can wrap his legs around him.
“I’m not one for manhandling Sugden.” Aaron breathes into his mouth.
“Your cock begs to differ.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m about to.”
Robert presses him against the wall next to the lockers, and manages to hold Aaron up with one arm under his ass so he can wrap his other hand around both their cocks.
“Jesus Christ.” Aaron moans, throwing his head back. “You can’t be this strong.”
“You’re not the only one working out.”
“Oh please. Your ego is suff-fuck.”
Robert’s got his lips attached to Aaron neck, sucking and licking on it to make sure it’s going to bruise the next day, so everyone knows Aaron belongs to someone.
“Condom? Lube?” Aaron asks in a shaky voice as he tightens his arms around Robert’s neck.
“In my jacket pocket.”
“Ughhh.”
Robert lets Aaron down for a couple of seconds to scramble for his jacket and take the condom and lube out, then hands them to Aaron, who used the short timespan to get the hair out of his eyes and arch his back.
When Robert hoists Aaron up again, it’s different. They’re both too into it to stop, and the fact that they lost contact for a couple of seconds doesn’t make things less exciting.
Aaron rips the condom wrapper with his teeth like he’s in a porn movie, and then rolls it on Robert’s cock.
It’s incredibly hot watching Aaron’ tiny hands with those delicate fingers rolling the condom down his shaft, Robert observes. He may have a thing for their size difference.
Aaron also takes it upon himself to lube him up.
“Do I need to finger-“ Robert starts but Aaron interrupts him.
“Fingered myself before the game.”
Robert looks at him with raised eyebrows.
“Even made myself cum. First time I actually managed-“
“You fingered yourself before?”
“Yeah. Now stop with the questions and get inside me or else I’ll go soft.”
They both know that’s not true, but Robert hoists him further up anyway, and rubs his tip over his hole.
“Fuck.”
Aaron’ fingers run through the hair at the back of Robert’s neck, and he closes his eyes when Robert finally enters him.
In his mind, Robert’s already dead because Aaron is so fucking tight around him and hot and perfect and beautiful. It’s too overwhelming and he’s not sure how long he’s going to last.
With both his arms around Aaron thighs for support, it gets easier for Robert to hold Aaron in place and hold him as he fucks up into him.
At one point, Aaron slaps his hand against he wall for leverage, but it slides right off when Robert thrust in harder than before.
Aaron’ moans are music to Robert’s ears, a combination of low groans and RobertRobertRobert. His head falls against the wall at one point and they both laugh, in spite of the circumstances.
“I don’t think I can-any longer.” Aaron whispers and scratches the back of Robert’s head.
“Yeah, me neither.”
“Arms finally-shit-giving out?”
“No.”
Aaron yells when Robert makes another hard thrust, this time hitting his prostate, and he comes all over his own chest. Robert fucks him through it, slowing down until he finally reaches his own orgasm.
They breathe erratically into each other’s mouths as their heartbeats slow down.
Robert lets Aaron back on the ground, and then stretches his arms out as they start to get numb.
“Fancy showering together?” Aaron proposes and Robert nods, following him to the showers.
Aaron sets the perfect temperature for the water before he gets under it, and then pulls Robert into him by his arm.
They wash each other’s hair and backs, and by the time they get back out with towels under their waist, their lips are red from the sloppy kisses that went on between soaping sessions.
Aaron changes into new clothes while Robert pulls on the ones he wore before.
“So I’ll see you at nine tonight?” Aaron asks, standing on his tiptoes with his bag over his shoulder and a smile on his lips.
“Yeah. Don’t forget to feed Blue.”
“I never do.” He responds, kissing Robert shortly.
-
The party has already started when Robert gets there. It’s way past nine, almost ten, but he blames everything on the fact that he couldn’t pick an outfit.
There are way more people there than usual, but this is because they’ve just won the UCC cup.
Several people greet him as he makes his way to the kitchen, to find Finn and Kerry shamelessly flirting between kisses.
“Have any of you seen Aaron?” he asks them.
“Yeah, he was dancing on the table when we arrived half an hour ago. Then he went off to smoke with Ross. You might find him in his room.” Finn responds, and after Kerry waves Robert hello, she goes back to sucking Finn’s face off, obviously proud of his game performance.
Robert walks up the stairs and opens the door to Aaron’ room, not surprised to see Pete, Sophia, and Ross sharing a joint.
“Um…have any of you seen Aaron?”
“Yeah he went out a few minutes ago because he got a call and had to take it.”
Robert looks at them for a moment, before he steps back and closes the door.
He pushes his way towards the back garden, but Aaron isn’t there either. He’s starting to get a little worried now, so he calls him once he manages to get on the front porch.
“The caller you are trying to reach-“
Robert hangs up, frustrated.
“Have any of you seen Aaron Dingle?” he asks the people smoking next to him.
“Yeah, he went that way talking on the phone.” One of them says and Robert thanks them before walking in the direction he was pointed to.
After a minute of walking, he finds a figure sitting against a wall and smoking in an alley between two houses.
“Aaron?”
Aaron looks up from under his hood, blowing out smoke in the process.
“Yeah?”
His voice is shaky and his eyes glimmer from the streetlights, and maybe also from possible tears.
“What are you doing here?”
Aaron shrugs, taking the cigarette back to his lips. “Nothing.”
Robert doesn’t give up that easily though, so he crouches down and sits down against the wall next to him.
“Then I’m going to wait here until you tell me what’s going on. And why you’re here, crying.”
They sit in silence for a few minutes, staring out at the deserted street in front of them.
“My biological father died.”
Robert’s head snaps to him, and his heart crumbles when he sees how sad Aaron is.
“Wha-how?”
“My mother called me. She never calls this late because it’s really early in the morning in England. My father had an overdose a few hours ago and they found him in his apartment.”
Robert doesn’t say anything. Is he supposed to say he’s sorry? He doesn’t want Aaron to think he pities him, because he’s not. He feels nothing but compassion.
“I shouldn’t care, because he was the worst person I’ve ever met, but he’s my father.”
“Of course you care, don’t blame yourself for that.”
“I blame myself for thinking that I could maybe fix things between. You know, today, when they said they wanted me to move to Manchester and maybe play second string, I thought that maybe I’d give my father a call because I’ve always hated how things ended.”
Robert wraps an arm around his shoulders, but doesn’t pull Aaron into his chest because he’s still smoking and he wants him to feel comfortable.
“But then I realized that he chose to leave instead of staying. He chose another wife and family instead of us. Another son instead of me. You know, someone who’s not gay and looks like a fairy and-fuck.”
There’s a lump in Aaron’ throat, and he tries to swallow it by inhaling more smoke into his lungs.
“He left for something better. I was so excited about the opportunity in Manchester, but now that I think about it, what if they find someone who plays better? What will I do then?”
“They won’t. They want you Aaron. Why can’t you see that? I also want you. I lov-”
“Don’t. Please.”
“Why not?”
“Because I won’t say it back.”
That hits Robert hard.
“I don’t care.” He says. “I love you. And I’ll keep saying it until you say it back.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? Tell me what you want.”
Although Robert’s getting a bit desperate, he tries to level his tone.
“I want someone who will never stop choosing me. I want to be someone’s first choice and stay that way. I need that. And it’s selfish-“
“I choose you. Every fucking time. When I had a study session with Pete before an exam but you texted me to bring you a muffin from Starbucks because you felt like it, I did it. When you asked me to wait with you in the rain for your bus even though Kerry had a taxi waiting to take us back to the dorms, I chose to stay with you. When you get piss drunk at every party, I choose to take care of you instead of doing anything else. I chose you even before I knew I liked you, why can’t you see that?”
Aaron is staring at him with an unreadable look on his face. Robert breathes out, not realizing he’s been out of air.
“Do you promise?”
“Do I promise what?” “That you meant what you said?”
“Yes.”
“The love part, I mean.”
“Every single word of it. I always do.”
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading :)
So I've got two questions:
1. The next chapter will be the last, although I'm thinking of writing a short Epilogue of how everything turns out. My first question is: Do you want an Epilogue? If so, should I post it together with the final chapter?;
and
2. I'm thinking about making this fanfic into an official paperback just like Baby Heaven's in Your Eyes had great success, so Baby Heaven's In Your Eyes, which you can order anywhere. Should I?
Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and also answer my 2nd question in the comments :D
Also, don't be sad (in case you are) that this story is ending, because I have like 4 other story ideas and I've already started writing one!
! The last chapter will be up on July 5th, 5pm UK time !
☆ Follow me on Tumblr for more updates about the story ☆
Chapter 16: 16
Summary:
LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST HERE
Notes:
Last chapter :(
Let me know what you think of it and make sure you read the end notes !
Happy reading :D
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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Are you coming to my graduation?” Aaron asks Robert one month later.
They’re at Walmart, shopping for drinks, cigarettes, and snacks for the small get-together that’s supposed to take place at the frat house later that evening.
It was Aaron’ idea to get all the frat guys together, Pete and Robert included, and have a lads night the day before graduation.
“Do you want me to come?”
“Do you want to come?” Aaron replies with a question, and Robert’s gotten used to it already.
They’re not together per se, but they definitely spent more time together for the past month that apart. This time involved innocent (and sometimes not so innocent) sleepovers, ten (and counting) amazing fucks, a few dates here and there, and hand holding around campus.
They studied together for the final exam week, and they’re both sure that Aaron will pass them all. (Robert passing them isn’t even a question.)
“Of course I do. I went last year too when Nick-“
“Oh I don’t want to hear how you went to your boyfriend’s graduation last year.” Aaron mumbles and picks up a Vodka bottle from the shelf.
“You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a boyfriend for the past two years Aaron, give it a rest.”
Aaron smiles but doesn’t look at him as he places the bottle in the basket Robert’s carrying.
“What will you do once I’m gone? Will you tell this to all the future boys you’ll fuck against the railing on your balcony?”
Robert’s stomach flips. Partially because of the dirty talk Aaron has no remorse of initiating in public, and partially because it’s another reminder that in four days, Aaron will be completely gone. On another continent.
“Hm. I’ll have to think about it.” He answers teasingly and places two water bottles in the basket.
“Why have two water bottles when you can have a water bottle and a Gin bottle?” Aaron asks as he takes one of the bottles out of the basket and replaces it with Gin.
“Why be healthy and have a strong liver when you can have liver failure and alcohol poisoning?”
Robert puts the water bottle back into the basket, but leaves the Gin be. He loves it when they argue. And he loves Aaron. He’s been telling him that almost daily, usually when he’s balls deep inside of him or the other way around, but the circumstances don’t mean he isn’t being anything but truthful.
“Alright so we need one more bottle. It all comes down to this. Jägermeister or Tequila?”
“Jägermeister.”
“So Tequila it is.” Aaron smiles. “See? Team work.”
“You’re so frustrating.”
“You weren’t complaining when I was fucking you yesterday.” Aaron snickers.
Robert groans and pulls him in by the back of his head to kiss him swiftly.
“Can I please eat you out when we get home?” he asks against Aaron’ lips.
“Hm…I don’t know, can you?”
“May I please eat out your ass?”
“Yes you may.” Aaron smiles and presses another kiss to his lips before he pulls back. “Now stop trying to distract me Sugden. I saw you putting the Tequila bottle back.”
“Why do you have your eyes open when I kiss you? I caught a grenade for-“
“Please don’t ever talk to me again. Don’t even talk to yourself.”
-
They arrive at the frat house with everything they’ve bought three hours, mutual blowjobs in Robert’s dorm, and a long shower later.
Everyone’s already there, watching Top Gun and drinking beer. Or what’s left of it.
“It’s time you two got here!” Finn exclaims when he sees them. “Pizza should be here soon.”
“Is Pete not coming?” Robert asks when he looks around and doesn’t spot him.
“He’s out to rent a movie.”
“Rent a movie?” Aaron asks, plopping himself on the couch between Finn and Josh. “How old school.”
The doorbell rings, and Finn jumps up from the couch. “Pizza’s here! C’mon lads, let me see the money.”
“I thought Coach was paying?” Bryan asks, confused.
“Coach is coming?” Aaron looks surprised.
“A bit later, he’s in a meeting. Come on now! How much longer do I have to wait?”
They all chip in with ten dollars, and the change goes to Robert, who paid for the drinks and snacks.
“You can take my place mate.” Finn tells him once he’s settled down in front of the coffee table where the pizzas have been opened.
Finn’s wink suggests Robert that he didn’t just move on the floor so he can be closer to the pizza, but he smiles nonetheless and takes a seat next to Aaron.
“Oi, you’re squishing me mate!” Aaron complains, wiggling his ass.
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No, I’m saying I have a big arse.”
“Robert knows that too well.” Ross suggestively says from his place on the armchair.
“Who enters and eats my ass is none of your business.” Aaron tells him, pointing the slice in Ross’s direction. “Speaking of, how’s the whole threesome arranVicent with Pete and Sophia huh?”
“That was one time! When are you going to let it go?”
“Let what go?”
Pete enters the living room with two movies in hand and a smile on his face when he spots the pizza.
“The fact that Ross had a threesome with you and Sophia.”
“Oh.”
Pete sits down next to Finn and places the movie he’s rented on the table.
“James Bond and…The Notebook? What the fuck mate?” Aaron asks after he reads the titles.
“The guys said to buy something romantic. Since you know, we should have an excuse for our crying other than the fact that some of us will graduate tomorrow.”
“I’m the only one graduating tomorrow.”
“And we’re going to miss you.” Finn points out.
“Jesus, I didn’t know this was going to be a cry fest.” Aaron mumbles, leaning back into the couch, and Robert knows he doesn’t the like the attention.
“So are we going to watch a movie or not?” He asks, trying to take the focus off Aaron.
Dave gets up from the beanbag and puts the first movie in.
“Thanks.” Aaron whispers to him when the movie starts and everyone’s attention drifts to the plasma a few feet away.
Robert smiles and places his hand on Aaron’ thigh, patting it to let him know it’s okay.
Halfway through the movie, Aaron finishes his pizza and rubs his belly, which Robert finds adorable. Funny how he spends more time watching Aaron than the actual movie.
“You’re watching me.” Aaron observes when he leans back against the couch and turns his head to Robert.
“You’re prettier than Daniel Craig.”
Aaron smiles and cuddles into him by pulling his knees up on the couch so he can lean into Robert’s side. Robert’s left hand comes to rest on Aaron’ knee and they finally focus on the movie, although the fact that they can feel each other so close is a bit distracting.
When they finish the James Bond movie, Aaron is practically in Robert’s lap. He’s sitting between Robert’s bent and spread legs, leaning back into his chest with the back of his head on Robert’s shoulder.
Robert’s not sure how well Aaron can see what’s currently going on in the second movie, but he doesn’t mind it one bit. He likes having Aaron close and the fact that he can wrap his arms around his waist.
At one point throughout the movie when there’s not much going on, Finn gets up to bring more beer from the kitchen (because if they’re watching The Notebook they might at least have a beer with it to pretend they’re manly) and returns with two six packs in hand, and a blanket in another.
After he places the packs on the table, he leans over to drape the blanket over Robert and Aaron with a smile.
By the time the movie ends, everyone has glassy eyes.
“That was uh-nice movie.” Bryan says and coughs. “Good beer. Do we have some nachos? Or steak?”
“Man food basically.” Dave adds.
“You sexist shits.” Finn laughs and gets up to bring a bag of nachos.
An hour later, the party breaks up because everyone wants to get some sleep before tomorrow.
“You’re not actually going to sleep are ya?” Aaron asks once they’re in his room.
“Um, no?”
“I’ve got something for us.”
Robert looks at Blue as she jumps on the bed and walks over to cuddle into his hand.
“Weed?” he asks when he sees Aaron sitting down next to him with a small metal box.
“Yep. One proper joint before I graduate. C’mon Sugden, don’t let me down.”
“Fine.” Robert sighs, although he wasn’t even thinking about not having a smoke.
Blue settles between them as they face each other, legs crossed while Aaron rolls the joint. When he’s finally finished, he lets Robert do the honors by lighting it up.
Robert exhales the smoke into Aaron’ face with a grin.
“Don’t even give me that face when you’re smoking my weed.” Aaron smiles and waits for Robert to take a few more hits before he grabs the spliff.
“You know, you get really big frog eyes when you’re high.”
They’ve already smoked half of it, and by now they’re giggling like little kids.
“Me?” Robert gasps, eyes widening. “At least I don’t claim to be five foot nine.”
“I am five foot nine!”
“No you’re not! You’re five six the most.”
“Fine. No dick for you tonight.”
Robert laughs. “You don’t even believe yourself.”
“Go fuck yourself. At least my hair is not a fucking parabola.”
“At least I know what a parabola is.”
“You’re an asshole.” Aaron states and blows the smoke into his face with anger.
“Well they say that you are what you eat.” He grins.
“Jesus Chr-stop smoking the entire weed!”
Robert pulls his hands back when Aaron reaches out for it.
“Sorry babe.” Aaron mutters when he lifts Blue up and places her out of the way so he can finally straddle Robert. “Then we’ll share it properly.”
Robert smirks and takes a hit. He waits for Aaron to lower his mouth onto his so he can blow the smoke into his mouth.
By their third shotgun, Aaron wraps his legs around Robert’s waist properly and starts grinding against him.
“I thought I wouldn’t get any dick tonight?” Robert asks with a knowing smile on his lips.
“Does it look like I’m giving you my dick right now?”
“Alright.” Robert sadly says.
“I didn’t say that you aren’t going to give me your dick though. Learn to read between the lines Sugden, you’re planning on becoming a psychologist.”
“Aaron.” Robert says after a while of grinding and exchanging smoke.
“What?”
“Do you think pigeons have feelings? Like when someone shoos them-“ “Oh my God shut the fuck up.” Aaron groans with a fond smile before he pulls Robert in to kiss him.
As soon as the kiss gets more heated, Aaron takes the joint out of Robert’s hands and places it in the ashtray on the nightstand.
“Heyyy, I wasn’t done with that.” Robert complains.
“You are now. Let’s get naked.”
Robert doesn’t need to be told twice. His hands come down to Aaron’ shirt to pull it off, and then do the same with his own.
“I fucking love your tattoos.” He breathes into Aaron’ neck, running his hands all over his chest.
“You love me.”
“I do.”
“Say it.”
“I fucking love you. You’re an asshole, but I love you. Fuck.”
He pushes forward so Aaron is laying on his back with Robert between his legs.
Aaron cups his face and kisses him deeply while Robert works on getting their pants off. It’s not that hard, because they’re both wearing sweats and briefs underneath.
Robert breaks off the kiss to stand up so he can grab the lube and a condom from Aaron’ nightstand. When he turns back around, Aaron is pushing him down on his back, which causes him to almost hit his head against the headboard.
“We’re going to do this my way.” He tells Robert.
Aaron takes Robert’s hand and pushes two of his fingers into Robert’s mouth, ordering him to suck on them.
“Your fingers are fucking huge.” He moans when Robert’s fingers finally enter him. He rides them as ragged breaths slip out of his mouth. It’s sloppy but he’s trying to move fast so he can finally have Robert inside him.
“Alright, that’s enough.” Aaron complains when Robert gets a cocky smile on his lips as he scissors his fingers inside of him.
“Sassy.”
“Shut up.”
Robert reaches out for the condom, but Aaron stops him.
“Can we not?”
“You don’t want to use a condom?”
“Are you clean?” Aaron questions. “Because I sure am.”
“Uh…yeah I am.”
“Why so hesitant? Don’t you want to feel me properly?” Aaron whispers in his ear, arching his back under Robert’s wandering hands.
“Fuck, I do. Come on.”
Aaron smiles and kneels up over his cock, carefully positioning it under his entrance before he slips down slowly.
“Fuuuck. Feels so good.”
Robert’s hands come to grip into Aaron’ hips.
“Aaron.”
“Hm?” Aaron asks and leans over to the nightstand to take the joint. He lights it up again.
“Blue is watching us.”
“’s alright. Some sex ed won’t hurt her.”
“Are you fucking se-“ Robert’s words get stuck in his throat when Aaron finally starts grinding his hips down so that Robert’s finally bottomed out.
One of his hands is placed flat against Robert’s chest, and the other one is holding the joint to his lips.
“Like this? Me riding you while smoking.”
“Yeah, it’s hot. I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“I’m not yours.” Aaron frowns, although they both know that’s not true.
“Yeah you are. All mine.” Robert squeezes his hips. “So pretty.”
Aaron takes one last long hit and then bends down to exhale it into Robert’s mouth.
Robert’s big hands squeeze his ass while they kiss, and then Aaron pulls away again to put the joint out in the ashtray.
“Finally.” He breathes when Aaron begins to properly ride him, bouncing up and down with his palms on his clenching abs.
“So are you going to let me do everything by myself?” Aaron complains after a while, when he can slowly feel that exquisite feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach, indicating that he’s slowly building up towards his orgasm.
Robert doesn’t even wait for Aaron to say another word, because he grabs him by the hips, plants his feet of the bed, and begins fucking up into him mercilessly.
Aaron’ legs give out under him and Robert is quick to sit up so he has Aaron in his lap. It’s easier for Aaron to grind his hips into figure eights.
“’m close Aaron.” He whispers into his mouth, scratching Aaron’ lower back.
“Me too. Wanna suck you off before I come though.”
“Alright, shit.”
Aaron clenches around him on purpose, sucks a bruise into his neck, and the next thing Robert sees is white behind his eyelids as he comes inside Aaron.
“Jesus fucking Christ, it feels fuckin’ amazing.” Aaron moans, pulling Robert by his hair.
He rides Robert through his orgasm, and then pushes him back down to get his cock out of his ass. He shuffles away from Robert’s chest and gets between his bent legs to suck him off.
Robert’s hands immediately come to tangle into his hair, while one of Aaron’ hands goes right to his cock as he starts tugging at it.
He sucks Robert as deep as he can, until he hits the back of his throat.
“I love your non-existent gag reflex.” Robert randomly says and tightens his grip on Aaron’ hair.
“Shut up.”
Aaron’ jerks become quicker, messier, and Robert knows he’s close, so he pushes up into Aaron’ throat.
Aaron moans around his cock as he comes all over the sheets, and doesn’t pull his mouth off of Robert as he closes his eyes to calm down.
“I’m glad you came.” Robert smiles, looking down at Aaron.
“Don’t quote The fucking Wanted to me while I have your dick in my mouth.”
Robert laughs so hard it vibrates all over his body, even in Aaron’ mouth. He finally pulls off and moves away from the pool of come.
“Your turn to clean me up.” Aaron mumbles and pulls the blanket off the bed so he can lay down on the sheets.
“I always clean us up. Every single time.”
“That’s why I said your turn.”
Robert sighs but gets up nonetheless to get a flDianel and clean Aaron up, and then himself. When he’s done, he empties the ashtray in the toilet and finally gets into bed.
As soon as he’s turned off the light in the room, Aaron cuddles up to him, placing his head on his chest and throwing a leg over Robert’s thighs.
“I can’t believe I’m going to graduate tomorrow.” He whispers.
Robert loves it when Aaron confides in him while they’re in the dark. He loves hearing Aaron’ thoughts and worries and basically everything of what he has to say.
“For years ago it seemed so far away, like I had all the time in the world, but now I’m graduating. And I’ll have to act all grown up. It’s scary.”
Robert’s hand comes up to Aaron’ back to draw soft circles into it, trying to comfort him. He can feel the bed dip next to his shoulder; a sign that Blue has joined them once again.
“It’s going to be fine. At least you know what you’re going to do once you-leave.”
The word doesn’t feel nice on Robert’s tongue, and he hates that. In less than a week, Aaron will be gone. The thought just won’t leave his mind, no matter how hard he tries.
Aaron falls silent after his words, and he doesn’t speak for a few minutes.
“I can feel your heart beating against my cheek.” He tells Robert.
“You do this to me.”
Aaron’ breath hitches.
“Why?”
Robert knows he already knows the answer, but he just wants to hear those words.
“Because I love you.”
Aaron goes quiet. He always does when Robert says he loves him, and then he shoots a disbelieving look.
“You still don’t believe me, do you?” Robert asks.
“I’m never going to believe you.”
“Then I’m going to say it forever and a day. Until you do.”
“Bullshit.”
“Don’t even tempt me.”
Aaron’ arms tighten around him. “And what if I do?”
“Then you won’t get rid of me. Ever.”
“That’s a long time.” Aaron whispers. “It’s not real.”
“I think it can be.”
“What are we going to do about Blue once I’m gone?” Aaron changes the subject. Of course.
“We can leave her with Finn or Kerry. They love her.”
“Yeah.” Aaron answers with a yawn.
“We should go to sleep. You need to be up early tomorrow.”
“Right then. Good night Robert.”
“Night Aaron.” Robert whispers and tightens his arms around him. He never wants to let go, but he has to. In less than a week.
He’s fucked.
-
Robert wakes up the next morning to Aaron pacing to the room, screaming into the phone.
“Who was the poor soul you were torturing so early in the morning?” he asks in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes.
Aaron stops to look at him.
“One of the pledges. I specifically told him to get me Cheerios for breakfast and he got something completely different.”
“Jesus, talk about being spoiled.” Robert laughs and sits up, stretching his back.
“Well I’m going to take a shower. Graduation starts in two hours so I suggest you dress up well.”
“Oh there’s a dress code?”
“If you want me to parade around with you like usual then yeah.” Aaron says and slams the door.
“Parade?”
But Aaron is already turning on the shower. Robert sighs. It’s not Aaron’ fault for being nervous about graduation. He also knows that Aaron is trying to put on a tough façade because no one from his family is coming to see him due to the funeral and also due to the lack of money.
So he gathers his things, writes a post-it about meeting him at the Civic Center in two hours, and leaves.
When he gets to his dorm he’s once again reminded that Aaron is leaving on Monday. So he makes sure to pack all the stuff Aaron left lying around in his room for the past couple of months, and places them in a bag.
Then he goes to shower and puts on a nice yellow button up, his favorite black skinnies, the Burberry boots he bought himself for his birthday, and a blue bandana to hang around his neck.
He meets Kerry and Finn for coffee at Starbucks thirty minutes before graduation, and he tells them about how he doesn’t want Aaron to leave and that he’ll probably never see him again.
“Of course you will. If it’s meant to be, you’ll see each other again.” Kerry assures him.
“You believe in fate?” Robert asks, surprised.
“I believe in you and Aaron ending up together.”
And that’s all it takes to make Robert feel better.
-
They get to the Civic Center where more than a thousand people are gathered thirty minutes later, and they find three seats front row in the bleachers.
There are countless graduates on the ground, sitting so that you can’t even differentiate them because you can only see their graduation caps and robes.
Robert doesn’t even bother to spot Aaron, because it would be too difficult and useless. Instead, he sends him a text.
Robert: where are you?
Aaron: sitting :)) you?
Robert: front row in the bleachers. Turn around so I can spot you
Robert looks through the mass of people, until he sees someone not far from the back, energetically waving at him. He can’t really see Aaron’ face properly, but he smiles and waves back anyway.
A few moments later, the Principal steps on stage and checks if the microphone works.
“Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, soon-to-be graduates.”
He starts with a long speech about how amazing the past four years have been, new beginnings, and memories. Then he starts talking about the soccer team coach who has brought them the first cup ever home, and then welcomes him on stage to deliver the speech.
Coach gives a ten-minute speech about perspective and quotes a lot of famous writers, obviously not that excited to be on stage. He thanks all the guys on the team for their outstanding effort, and congratulates the three of those who graduate.
“I’d also like to say a special thank you to Aaron Dingle, the captain of the team.” Coach starts, and cheers erupt throughout the hall. Robert feels as if he could burst with pride.
“Without him, we wouldn’t have won the cup. I, the team, and I’m sure Aaron himself knows that I’ve been too hard on him since he joined the team. That was because I saw something in him that I knew would be the key to win the cup, and to make the team the best it can be. Dedication. Although most of you might see Aaron as a lazy person who doesn’t really put much effort into anything-you’re not wrong-“ a few people laugh, “he is also the most hard working person I’ve ever met in my life. He’s ambitious, devoted, committed…I could go on forever. His problem isn’t being lazy, or just indifferent-it’s the lack of self-confidence he has in his abilities. So Aaron, and as well as your other teammates, and everyone here; I hope you found yourself and whatever you’re looking for, and if you didn’t, I just hope that one that you’ll realize how much you’re worth. Because that’s when life really starts, and you become the best you can be. Thank you.”
The clapping doesn’t die down for a solid five minutes, and Robert wishes he could see Aaron’ face right now.
Is he crying? Is he smiling? What is he doing? Why are they focusing the camera on coach and not on Aaron???
Then they start calling everyone up on stage to collect their certificate in alphabetic order. Graduates are welcomed to say a little something when they get their diplomas, but a few people do. Most of them just want to finally get home, change into something comfortable, and go out to celebrate.
After more than an hour of waiting, Aaron’ name finally gets called and he walks up on stage with e nervous look on his face. Everyone goes silent when he takes him diploma and walks over to the podium. He looks so tiny in his giant robe and the hair falls in his eyes from the cap he’s wearing.
“Uh…hi.” He starts, eyes fleeting through the room in a nervous mDianer as he pushes the fringe out of his eyes. “This isn’t going to take long because I didn’t prepare a speech. Mainly because I didn’t think I’d graduate. Anyway, uh, I’d like to thank a few people who actually supported me throughout the years and who I owe everything to. My best mate Ross, who knows exactly how to calm me down in moments of stress; my Coach, who was always, as he put it, hard on me, so I would push myself further; Mr. Winston for not failing me. And of course everyone else who was nice enough to tolerate me throughout the years.”
Robert is disappointed and sad that he hasn’t been mentioned.
“But uh, I’d also like to thank you to um-Robert.”
Robert’s heart stops as he watches Aaron on the big screen.
“He helped me study for my finals and motivated me enough to pass all my classes. So thank you. Also, thank you for putting up with my moody self and for not giving up on me when I was uh-confused about my abilities and-sexuality.” He pauses for a bit. “To everyone who is about to leave college and start a whole new adult life, I hope you’re going to be happy even though it’s scary. Thank you.”
Aaron steps down from the podium when everyone starts clapping and standing up, but he doesn’t spare another glance towards he public as he hurries down the stage.
Robert is in shock for the rest of the ceremony, and the words said by following students don’t even register into his brain.
For one, Aaron just thanked him in front of five thousand people, more or less.
Second, he just came out to everyone present.
And third, he’s leaving in exactly two days.
-
The graduation ceremony ends two hours later, and Finn reminds him that they’re going to meet up at six in front of the fanciest restaurant in Tallahassee to celebrate.
Robert tries looking for Aaron, but he learns from one of his teammates that he headed back to the frat house to pack and take a nap.
It’s half past four when someone knocks on Robert’s door. He knows it’s Aaron before he even opens the door. He only has his jeans on when he opens the door to invite him in.
“Hi.” He smiles down at Aaron.
“Hi.”
Aaron doesn’t wait for Robert to step aside and let him inside, or to do anything else, before he wraps his arms around Robert’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss.
“You’re happy.” Robert states when Aaron steps inside after kissing him breathlessly.
“Yeah. I just graduated and came out to everyone in my year.”
“I heard. That was brave of you.”
Aaron sits down on Robert’s bed, watching him apply cologne and then put on an elegant shirt.
“So there’s a party tonight at our house after the restaurant.”
“I know. You planning on drinking a lot?” Robert jokes.
“Not really. I want to remember my last party before I leave for good.”
“Oh. Right.” A wave of sadness washes over Robert.
“Why the long face Sugden? You’re finally going to get rid of my annoying self.”
Robert doesn’t respond. He honestly hopes Aaron is joking.
When he’s finally done with arranging his hair and putting on the same boots he wore at the ceremony, they’re good to go.
“So you came to pick me up?” he asks Aaron when he sees Finn’s Range Rover in front of his building.
“Proper date ritual, right?”
“Right.”
The restaurant is full, but it’s not hard to find their group at the giant table in the middle of the restaurant. There are over twenty of them, and it’s obvious that the other patrons aren’t excited about it, but oh well. Some of them just graduated; they’re entitled to have as much fun as they can before they finally step into the real world.
Aaron and Robert are the last to arrive (as usual), but Finn saved them two seats next to him.
“Nice of you to finally show up.” Bryan snickers over his menu.
A waitress comes to their table with two menus, and tells them that she and her coworker will be back shortly to get their order for drinks.
“So what are your plans after you leave Dingle?” Josh asks him once everyone has ordered drinks and food, and everyone is focused on different conversations.
“I’m leaving on Monday at six in the morning. I’ll arrive in Manchester around midnight. You know, time zones and all.”
“And where will you stay?” Robert asks, suddenly realizing that he’s never talked to Aaron about what he’ll do after he leaves. He’s been so selfish, thinking about what he’ll do once Aaron leaves, so he never thought to ask.
“With Sam, one of my mates, until I can buy my new place. I’m supposed to be at the football club on Wednesday so they can ‘evaluate my skills’.”
After that, it’s a blur of food, questions, talks about footie and the future, and the upcoming party at the frat house; one last bang before they’re officially on holiday.
Everyone pays their part of the meal, and they leave a generous tip even though the bill ended up being around two grand. No one changes out of their clothes before the party, because it’s already ten and it has already started.
Finn is mortified when he sees that almost all the beer is gone, so he tries to get in pace with the others by downing a bottle in three large gulps.
“Do you want to dance?” Aaron suggests when everyone is already tipsy, and they’re the only sober ones on the back porch, smoking.
“Sure. Let me finish this.”
They hurry up to finish the remains of their cigarettes, before they walk back inside. The space in the living room is packed, and before Robert has the time to do anything else, Aaron is already pulling him towards him.
“Kiss me.” Aaron whispers into his ear, and Robert is happy to oblige.
They kiss each other open-mouthed, with sloppy, impatient tongues, trying to taste as much of each other as they can. They’re both aware of the fact that in a day, they won’t see each other in a long time.
Robert doesn’t know how it happens, but one moment they’re grinding on the dancefloor, mouths all over each other, and the next he’s carrying Aaron up the stairs and letting him fall on his bed.
“I don’t want to um-have sex.” Aaron tells him when Robert is already pulling down his briefs.
“Okay.”
“’m too tired-wait. Okay?”
“Yeah, I don’t need to have sex with you to have a good time.” He says before he leans down to kiss Aaron’ stomach.
“Alright then. Just-let’s get each other off and then go to sleep okay? ‘m knackered and I’m not even drunk.”
Robert nods and takes him into his mouth without saying anything else. He knows he’ll miss the feeling of Aaron’ heavy cock inside his mouth, inside of him, and vice versa. So he tries to savor it as much as he can right now going slow and as deep as he can.
Aaron comes into his mouth not even five minutes later, and then orders for Robert to straddle his chest so he can return the favor. Robert comes all over Aaron’ collarbones, and takes a minute to calm down before he rolls off of him.
He cleans Aaron up as usual, and presses a kiss to his nose once he’s done. Then he gets into bed with him, pulling the covers up to their shoulders.
“Turn around.” Aaron tells him.
Robert obliges without any further questions. His heart almost leaps out of his chest when he feels Aaron shuffling closer to him until he can get his arms around Robert.
He can feel Aaron’ erratic heart against this back, and he wonders if Aaron is as sad as he is to be leaving.
“I want to spoon you one last time before I leave.” He whispers into Robert’s ear.
If words could kill, Robert would be dead right now. He searches for Aaron’ hand through the darkness, and intertwines their fingers, then squeezes them.
“I don’t want you to leave.” He confesses when the house finally falls dead silent a couple of hours later.
Neither of them has slept yet, nor talked for that matter. They’re just aware of each other’s uneven breaths, and if Robert wouldn’t know better, he could swear Aaron is silently crying.
“Aaron?”
“Hm?”
“Are you crying?”
“No?” Aaron answers in a shaky voice, and it’s obvious that he is.
“Why?”
A few minutes pass before Aaron finally answers. “Because I don’t want to leave. This house is like-like my safe space. I don’t want to leave my comfort zone and go back to the place I left because I felt like I didn’t want to be myself.”
When Aaron’ words die in his throat, Robert can’t take it anymore so he turns around to face him. He can’t see perfectly because everything is dark, save for the light coming from the street, but Aaron’ cheeks are tear stained even though he’s trying to smile.
“You’re going to do great. You’re staying with your friend in Manchester, and you’ve got all your old friends I met on New Year’s back home.” Robert says, trying to calm him down as he wipes the tears with his thumb.
It takes everything Robert for him not to cry too. He knows Aaron wouldn’t want to see that because he’ll feel guilty, and that’s the last thing Robert wants. To make Aaron feel like he shouldn’t be taking this opportunity to pursue his dreams, just because Robert loves him.
And what would he do if he’d stay in Florida anyway? Apply for a teaching job in Tallahassee? Having a job he hates that doesn’t pay that well just to spare Robert’s feelings? No.
“So you wouldn’t be like, mad if I left?” Aaron hesitantly asks in a small voice.
“What are you even talking about?”
“I mean-I know how you feel about me and not seeing me ever-for a long time I mean, that would make you sad. I think. Wouldn’t it? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Aaron, stop. If there is one thing I want, that’s for you to be happy. I’ll manage. Don’t even think about me, please. I want you to think about yourself.”
“Do you mean that?”
“I do, I promise.”
“Tell me you love me.” Aaron breathes and moves on the bed so he can get his thigh between Robert’s.
“I love you.” Robert replies, because the words have been on the tip of his tongue ever since he last said them.
Aaron kisses him and Robert cups his face to bring him closer. They kiss lazily, like they’ve got all the time in the world, but the truth is that they’ve got less than twenty-four hours now.
“You know what I want?” Aaron whispers against his lips.
“What?”
“I want to stay in bed with you all day. And then fall asleep with you. And then-that’s it. Can we do that before I leave?”
“We can do anything you want.”
Aaron smiles, eyes crinkling, and then he leans back in to kiss him some more.
At one point they fall asleep when the sun is already out, and they wake up at noon, limbs tangled together. They only get up to brush their teeth and grab a phone from the desk so they can order pizza. They have Finn bring up their food and then they spend the rest of the day in bed watching Netflix on Aaron’ laptop, doing absolutely nothing at all together.
Robert spots Aaron’ packed bags at the door when he comes out of the bathroom before they go to sleep again, since Aaron has to wake up in a few hours, and a knot forms in his throat.
Aaron is waiting for a cuddle in bed, not having noticed Robert’s observation, so he smiles and walks over.
“Mmm what are you doing?” Aaron complains when Robert leans over to the nightstand on his side so he can get to his phone.
“Setting my alarm for three o’clock so I can come with you to the airport.”
“You don’t have to. Finn already said he’d drive me.”
“I want to.”
Aaron doesn’t say anything else, and this time he falls asleep within minutes with his head on Robert’s chest.
-
When Robert wakes up, the sun is shining through the blinds in Aaron’ room. He panics. There is no sun at three am. And there’s also no Aaron next to him on the bed.
He hastily stands up from the bed, and checks the time on his phone. It’s half past seven. Which means Aaron is already out of Florida. Away from him. And he didn’t even say goodbye.
Robert checks the alarm on phone with tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, to see that it has been turned off. He gets downstairs to find all the guys either in the kitchen, or sprawled through the living room.
“Did he leave?”
“Yeah, I drove him to the airport three hours ago.” Finn tells him in a careful tone.
“Why didn’t he wake me up?” His voice is shaking.
“He said he didn’t want to bother you. And that he left a note on his dresser for you.”
“He didn’t want to bother me so he just fucking left?” Robert yells.
“Aaron didn’t want to see you get hurt, so he left without waking you up.” Ross explains.
“That’s great.” Robert says, his voice breaking at the end. He turns around and walks back upstairs. He can’t tell for sure, but he might have just heard his heart break.
Not even a fucking goodbye? After everything he just leaves?
He finds the folded note on top of Aaron’ old dresser, and sits down on the bed before opening it.
I’m sorry
Robert’s heart hurts when he places his head in his hands and exhales.
Aaron left just like he came.
With two words that don’t make sense and are nothing but sad.
Notes:
Hope you liked the chapter :) Sorry for the ending btw
I've just published the book and you can buy it HERE (don't worry, only people with the link can view it so it's safe and the boys won't see it). It's called Drive Me Crazy, since You're As Asshole (But I Love You) didn't look so good on the cover :))
! The Epilogue will be up on the 8th of July, 5pm UK time !
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Chapter 17: Epilogue
Summary:
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Notes:
This is the Epilogue; I hope you all like how this story ends :)
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Chapter Text
After he finished University, Robert decided to go back to England and move in with Holly, who needed a roommate to help pay the bills.
The flat was nice; a two-bedroom, two-bathroom, with a spacious kitchen, a nice living room, and a balcony with a lovely view of the Piccadilly city center.
It’s funny, now that Robert thinks about it; how he and Holly started bonding right after Aaron left. They were both sad about not getting closure so their occasional talks at parties became weekly coffee shop meet-ups, and then before they knew it, almost daily hangouts.
He managed to get over Aaron by the end of summer vacation right before third year, and began going out with Alex two months later, but broke up with him right before it ended because he just wasn’t feeling it anymore.
Holly had gotten into an on-again-off-again relationship with Ross that lasted almost two years before they broke up on good terms, since they both wanted to go in different directions after graduation.
Now they were both in Manchester, Robert trying to get a job at the local college as a psychologist, and Holly pursuing her dreams to become a fashion designer before summer ended.
“You know…he lives in the same city.” Holly randomly says one night when they’re out on the balcony, smoking and drinking tea.
“He who?”
“Aaron.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah.”
To be honest, Robert hasn’t thought about Aaron in almost two years. Yes, he sometimes sees things that remind him of Aaron, and for a moment he’ll be sad, wishing he’d gotten at least a goodbye. But then he thinks about how there is someone else out there who’s going to love him back and make him happy and content. It’s just a matter of time until he’ll find that someone.
“He’s on all those Manchester United posters.” Holly continues, taking the cigarette to her mouth.
“I also saw that. He doesn’t look that different.”
“That’s true.”
“Why are we talking about him?”
“Because…don’t you with you’d gotten closure? A goodbye? Anything? You’ve never wondered why he just left without saying anything?”
I do
“Not really. I thought you were over him.” Robert mumbles, staring down at his mug.
“I am. But I can see that you’re still bothered by it, after all this time.”
Robert knows she’s right. They both do.
“So what do you suggest?”
“I don’t know. Just-maybe give their football club a visit while they’re at practice?”
“Right, because they’ll let everyone just waltz in there and be like ‘hey, I used to fuck and also be in love with one of your best players, can you please let me see him’? They might even roll out the red carpet for me.” He sarcastically says.
“Alright, alright. There’s no need for you to be sarcastic with me. I was just proposing an idea.” She smiles.
“Well, don’t do it again.”
-
“Robert!” Holly screams into the phone a few months later while Robert’s still at work, sitting in his office at the college waiting for his 2pm appointment.
“Hi, are you alright?”
“Guess what!”
“Um-“
“I got two invitations for the Burberry fashion show next month! My design teacher gave them to me after he saw the clothes I made f-“
“Are you serious?” he asks, a big smile spreading over his face.
“Yes! It’s in London, on the 30th of November and we’re going!”
“Fuck yeah we are!” Robert excitedly responds, just as the girl he’s expecting enters his office. She looks at him with an amused smile, and he apologizes before he hangs up the phone to focus on her.
-
“Do I look okay? Does this dress make me look fat? Is my makeup too much? Robert pay attention!”
“What?”
Robert turns around to look at Holly standing in the doorway of their hotel bathroom, with her hands on her hips and a stern look on her face.
“You look great El.”
“Do you think it’s a bad idea if I’ll give one of the designers my workbook? Some samples to look over? Is-“
“You’ve got nothing to lose babe. Now calm down or it’ll show how stressed you are on camera.”
“Shit, you’re right. C’mon, I think we can have one smoke to calm ourselves down before we have to leave.” She says and opens her clutch to pull out her cigarette pack. Robert nods, straightening his blazer, and then follows her out on the balcony.
They walk the carpet together so they can get a few photos as a souvenir afterwards, and then he leads her by her waist inside.
Their seats are on the second row right in the middle, behind some British celebrities Holly is trying really hard not to fangirl over.
“Can you believe I was so lucky to get these tickets? I can’t even-Robert.”
“What?” Robert asks, looking up from his phone. He’s in the middle of texting his sister about how he’s right across from Ellie Goulding, when Holly nudges his shoulder.
“Look. Across from you.”
“Yeah I know it’s Ellie-“
His words die in his throat.
Because right on the front row, on the other side of the runway, is Aaron Dingle leaning over to whisper something into Ed Sheeran’s ear.
Robert’s speechless, and he wants to say something, but he can’t voice words. Merely ten seconds of staring later, Aaron turns his head and they make eye contact.
His features tighten and he’s not listening to what Ed’s saying anymore, eyes focused on Robert.
They don’t get much time to stare at each other in shock because the lights go out and a spotlight shines on the presenter who announces the start of the show.
Everything is a blur after that.
-
The after party is being held at the Four Seasons hotel, and everyone who’s everyone is supposed to attend. Robert and Holly got really lucky with the invitations she got from her teacher.
“I’m not sure if I want to go to this after party.” he tells Holly when they’re right in front of the Four Seasons hotel. Holly’s got her hands on the door, ready to push it open.
“Why not?”
“Because Aaron will be there. And I don’t-I’m not sure if I want to see him.”
“Oh come on Robert! This is what Kerry was talking about two years ago! It’s the perfect opportunity to set things straight with him and finally put an end to your suffering.”
“I’m not suffering-“
“Oh give me a break! You might have moved on from him but there’s always going to be a part of you wondering how and why and what. So stop being a pussy and please don’t ruin your chance to a fun night to get wasted with A list celebrities.”
“Ugh, I hate it when you’re right.”
“Damn right you do. Now come on. There’s some high class alcohol waiting on us inside.” She smiles as she pulls him inside.
It’s pretty loud inside, and there are people Robert recognizes from magazines and the television everywhere; at the bar, at the tables, on the dancefloor.
Holly and him make their way to the bar, where they order two Cosmopolitans before they sit down on the stools.
“Everything is so posh here.” Robert says as he looks around.
“Speaking of posh, that’s Victoria Beckham right there! And David Beckham who’s-“
“Talking to Aaron.”
Holly shoots him a worried look, but the barman who puts their drinks in front of them interrupts them.
“I think I’m uh-going out for a smoke.” Robert says and grabs his drink before he’s off the barstool and goes towards the back exit.
The exit leads to the back garden. There are two other people there, who are minding their own business as they scream into their phones.
Robert lights a cigarette and alternates between sipping his cocktail and taking a drag.
“Cosmopolitans? How posh.”
Robert freezes at the sound of the voice, and doesn’t even dare to turn around. He doesn’t even have to, because Aaron is already standing in front of him with a beer bottle in hand and a curious look on his face.
“Hey Robert.”
“Uh. Hi. Aaron.”
Robert can’t believe his life right now.
Did he by any chance drink his body weight at the bar and is now in an alcoholic coma dreaming all of this?
“Nice to see you.” Aaron continues.
“Wish I could say the same.” Robert answers.
They take a few seconds to check each other out because some things have indeed changed; Aaron’s got a light stubble on his chin, a more professional look, but he’s definitely the same height.
“Aw you’re not happy to-“
“You didn’t even say goodbye.” Robert interrupts him, not able to hold it any longer. Two years of pent-up anger, confusion, and sadness are about to spill out of his mouth, and he doesn’t care whether Aaron is going to stay around long enough to hear it.
“Robert.” Aaron’ voice softens and he places his free hand on his shoulder.
Robert pulls his arm away from his touch, and he doesn’t miss the hurt flashing through Aaron’ eyes at the gesture.
“No! You’re going to listen to everything I have to fucking say this time, and you’re not going to leave nor interrupt me.” Robert exclaims before he downs his entire cocktail in one go, places the glass on one of the tables nearby, and turns back to face a serious Aaron.
“Go on then.”
“I need to know why you left that day without waking me up. I need to know why you never responded to any of my calls and texts the first two months I’ve tried to get in contact with you just to see how you were doing. Do you know what it feels like to have the person you’re in love with ignoring you when all you want is to hear their voice and know that they’re okay? I didn’t want you to do anything but answer one fucking text to let me know you’re alive and happy. But no. I had to google you every single fucking day until I finally got a hit to an article that you had joined the team as their new midfielder.”
“R-“
“And! That note you left one the dresser saying you’re sorry? What a pile of fucking bullshit! You left me feeling guilty for a good few months thinking that you felt sorry for leaving to pursue your dreams because you’ve hurt me. All I ever wanted for you is to be happy with yourself and a fucking text. That’s all I ever wanted. I never asked for you to say that you love me back even though my heart broke every single time you didn’t because the worst thing someone can go through is when the one they love doesn’t love them back or acknowledge the fact! You owe me a damn good explanation so I can finally move on with my life and get over you.”
Once Robert’s finished, silence settles between them. Aaron is staring at him, eyes wandering all over Robert’s face as he tries to gather his words into sentences.
“I know that the way I left wasn’t fair to you at all-“
“Damn right it wasn’t!”
“Will you let me finish?”
Robert crosses his arms over his chest as he waits. His heart is beating out of his chest and he’s got mixed emotions about what’s currently going on, but he deserves this. He needs this.
“I didn’t say goodbye to you that day because goodbye would've meant that we wouldn’t see each other again. At least that’s what I thought. Goodbye would've meant that we were finished, and that was the last thing I wanted. If I would’ve let you drive me to the airport, I honestly don’t think I would’ve ever gotten on that plane. Christ, I almost didn’t get on because I saw Finn’s face. I didn’t even tell him goodbye, I told him that I’d see him later. And I did. I saw him every on every single holiday and on my birthday and on New Year’s. I still see him. And Kerry. And Ross and Pete and Sophia. Because they’re all back in England-“
“Yes I am aware of that.”
Robert wasn’t aware of them meeting up with Aaron.
“They never told me they were still in contact with you.”
“Because I told them not to. Don’t be mad at them. I didn’t want to see you after the way I left you.”
“Jesus Christ Aaron!” Robert exclaims, running a hand through his hair.
“Remember when I asked you if it would make you mad if I left? And if it would hurt you?”
Robert nods.
“I wanted you to ask me to stay, God, you just had to say the word and I wouldn’t have left you.”
“That wouldn’t have been fair to you Aaron. I wanted what was best for you. That’s all I ever wanted and you never saw that.” Robert tells him, this time calmer.
“My phone number was out of service in England so I got a new number. I still kept yours but I just-by the time I had gotten a functioning phone it was too late. I knew I’d fucked up so I tried to get over you. You have no idea how many times I felt the urge to call you when I was drunk off my arse but I didn’t have the courage to. Because I knew you deserved way better than the fuck up I was and I couldn’t have you wait for me. I should have put a stop to everything when you first told me you loved me. But the thought of you loving someone else made me fucking sick.”
“And did you?”
Aaron’ words are too overwhelming for Robert, and all he manages to get out is that simple question.
“Did I what?” Aaron asks, confused.
“Get over me.”
“I hooked up with guys here and there, got a boyfriend but it didn’t last.”
“Me too.” Robert admits, looking him dead in the eye.
“You got a boyfriend?”
“Alex. Seven months.”
“Wow. That’s-“
“Time wasted. That’s all it ever was.”
After a few more moments of silence, Robert finally takes a deep breath and forces a smile on his face.
“Well then, I’m glad we sorted this out. I hope you have a good life.”
He grabs his glass and turns towards the door when Aaron stops him.
“You saved me, you know.”
“Saved you from what?” Robert turns around, biting his lip.
“From myself. Even before we uh-started whatever we had. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have graduated, or stopped drinking myself to death, or…found myself. Thank you for that.”
“I didn’t try to save you Aaron. Being a hero was never my intention.”
“I know.” Aaron says as he steps closer. “But you loved me and that was all I ever needed. I needed someone to love me for me, and believe in me when I didn’t without having anything to gain from it.”
“I just-“
“You can’t save people Robert. You can only love them and that’s what you did. I knew from the start that I didn’t deserve you so I never said it back because I was scared that once I did you’d leave me.”
“How can you even-after everything.”
“I know. I realized it too late. The least I could to was leave you alone. So there it is. Everything I wanted to say over the past few years but never got the courage to. I really am sorry. And I hope you’ll forgive me one day but I completely understand if you don’t.”
Robert exhales and looks up at the sky as if he’s looking for answers.
“I want to-God.” Aaron’ words snap him out of his trance.
“You want to what?”
“I want to kiss you so bad right now because I’ve missed you but I don’t think you should let me.”
“Do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I am sure please just do it.” Robert says and that’s all it takes for Aaron to close the remaining distance between them and wrap his arms around Robert’s neck.
As soon as their lips touch, Robert’s hands let the glass fall to the floor so he can cup his face and open his mouth. The collision causes Aaron to spill his beer all over Robert’s back.
“Shit-I’m sorry. Of course I would find a way to fuck this up-“ Aaron starts to apologize but Robert interrupts him.
“It’s fine. Was a shit suit anyway.” He smiles.
“I missed your smile.”
“I missed you.”
“Me too.”
Robert runs a hand through his hair and tries to ignore his heart as his eyes settle on Aaron’ face.
“So do you have like-a hotel or somewhere I can change in?”
“Yeah I’ve got a room here. I’ll take you there.”
Aaron places his hand on Robert’s lower back and guides him back inside. They pass Holly by the bar, and even though she’s in a deep conversation with one of the models, she shoots them a shocked look that quickly transforms into a happy smile.
Aaron stops to kiss her cheek and apologize for his behavior before they’re back on their way towards his room.
“So you and her are like best friends now?”
Robert nods. “A lot has changed since you left.”
“Can’t wait to hear everything.”
“I thought the guys have already filled you in?”
“Partially.” Aaron smiles.
When they finally enter his suite, Robert feels an uneasy knot in his stomach. He turns to Aaron, who is toeing his shoes off by the door.
“Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
“Never leave me again, please.”
Aaron smiles, eyes crinkling as he closes the distance between them.
“I promise.”
The End
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p2
Robert muffled a laugh into Aaron’s neck before quickly kissing him there and wrapping his arms around him impossibly tighter.
“I’m so confused,” Charlie said as he shook his head, only to see his girlfriend laughing at him.
“Babe it’s how they met, I’ll tell you about it later,” Vic said, rolling her eyes fondly before looking back at the two. She had to hand it to her baby brother, this was pretty cute.
And when the two pulled away there probably wasn’t a person within a mile distance who couldn’t see their bright smiles before leaning in for a kiss.
“God, you two are more gross than I remember.”
“Vic,” Diane scolded. “Stop that, it’s cute.”
Aaron released the younger lad, ducking his head and trying to hide his deep blush as he felt it rise on his cheeks. But even when he did that he felt Robert peppering kisses all over his forehead and in his hair.
That didn’t last long however as Holden started to whine for a movie and that he’s seen enough of his daddies kissing before squishing himself between Jack and Diane on the couch.
So Vic put in the movie, earning a breath of relief from the 3 year old and laughs from his daddies.
The two got comfortable on the couch, Robert basically sitting on top of Aaron. The older lad didn’t complain though as he wrapped his arms around him and buried his nose in the back of Robert’s curls and kissed his neck quickly.
It only took Holden a half hour into the movie to fall asleep, no doubt in Aaron’s mind that he was beyond exhausted from running around and playing all day. What made him look even more adorable while he slept though had to be that he was in Diane’s arms, the older woman unable to wipe the smile off her face as she looked down at her snoring grandson.
And when the movie was over and everyone was clearly ready for bed the tv was turned off and they all shuffled upstairs.
Diane carried Holden up to Robert’s old bedroom, the two boys following after her sleepily. “I wasn’t sure what your boys’ sleeping arrangements were but I set up an air mattress and then there’s R’s bed,” she said quietly as they walked into the room.
“Oh, we sleep together,” Robert said through a small smirk as he wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist, earning a slap to the arm for that one.
“What he means is that we’ve shared a bed once,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes. “But Holden can sleep on the air mattress, thank you Diane,” he said, getting a small laugh out of the older woman.
Once Diane was out of the room Aaron was quick to change Holden into his pajamas, tuck him under the covers and kiss him gently. He really hoped that this has been a good Christmas for him, and thinking back to how much he was smiling and laughing all day Aaron had a feeling it was one of the best yet.
And when he got into bed next to Robert the feeling didn’t escape him, that this is the best Christmas he’s had in years.
“Finally,” Robert breathed out, wrapping an arm around Aaron’s waist and pressing gentle kisses into his neck.
“What’re you doing?” Aaron whispered through a chuckle. “Your sister is right next door, your mum and Jack are across the hall and Holden is right there.”
Robert picked his head off the pillow and smiled down at the older lad. “What? I can’t just kiss you? Were you thinking we were gonna get something going? Is that what you want?” he asked teasingly.
Aaron swears before he met Robert he never rolled his eyes this much. But whenever he says things like this it’s impossible not to. “You’re ridicuAarons,” he muttered, turning himself so he was laying on the younger lad’s chest.
Robert hummed his agreement as he rubbed a gentle hand up and down Aaron’s back, feeling the older lad let out a content breath against him. “I was thinking about something and I wanted to talk to you,” he said quietly. “What do you think about maybe inviting my mum, sister, Jack and Charlie to come to New York with us?”
Aaron looked up at Robert, the younger lad’s eyes already on him. “I think that’s a great idea Rob,” he said through a soft smile. “I’m sure they’d love to come and it gives us more time to spend with them.”
Robert smiled happily to himself before connecting their lips sweetly and squeezing at Aaron’s waist before settling back against his pillow. And that smile didn’t fade as he felt the older lad fall asleep against him, as he fell asleep himself in his childhood home.
When they were all up in the morning and sitting around the table for breakfast Robert had asked. The response was immediate, his mum lunging out of her seat and crushing him in a hug as Vic screamed how excited she was, Charlie maybe screaming Aaronder than her because he was going on holiday with Robert Sugden.
But the happiest person there had to be Robert. He didn’t expect them to be so excited, and not only that but he had his family coming to New York with him. It wasn’t just him and an empty jet, not this year. This year he had his family, his whole family.
*~*
Aaron kept a firm grip on Holden as he looked at the huge private jet in front of him, his jaw going slack as he very slowly followed Robert on board and saw the inside of it.
He was sure he looked like an idiot just standing there with his mouth open but he couldn’t help it. This was Robert’s plane… Like Robert owns a plane and this is it and it’s beautiful.
“Ed!!” Holden shrieked, wiggling out of his daddy’s arms and running down the aisle.
“Big guy!” Ed said happily as the toddler climbed in his lap and he immediately hugged him. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How was your Christmas?”
“The best!” Holden said excitedly. “I play trains with grandpa and papa and daddy give trampoline and I show Rob all my toys and-”
Ed was having a hard time keeping up as the 3 year old kept going on and on, but still smiled and nodded at him as he waved “hello” to Aaron and Robert.
“Adam on yet?” Robert asked, placing his bag on the table and sending a smirk over to Aaron as he saw him still in awe.
“Yeah he’s in the bathroom and Clara’s talking to the pilot,” Ed said before quickly returning his attention to Holden.
Robert nodded as he let out a deep breath, definitely needing to talk to Clara about media stuff this upcoming week. “Aaron…” he said, wanting the older lad’s attention. “Babe you can put your bag down and sit if you want,” he said slightly teasingly.
Aaron’s mouth was still hung open as he looked around the plane but nodded anyway, putting his and Holden’s carry on’s on a seat.
“Papa when nana and grandpa come?” Holden asked once he was done rambling to Ed.
“They’re coming on with aunt Vic and uncle Charlie any minute,” Robert said, looking through his bag for his papers.
“Gem is coming?” Ed asked, a small smirk coming to him. “Oh you might want to warn the Irish one.”
“Mate trust me, I-”
“Robert! Aaron!” Adam said, coming from the back of the plane. “And Holden of course! How are my favorite boys?”
“Hey Ads, can we talk for a second?” Robert asked as he saw both Aaron and Holden wave happily at the Irish lad.
“Yeah, is something wro-...” Adam stopped himself, going wide eyed as he saw a familiar brunette come onto the plane. “Vic?” he barely whispered.
Robert snapped his head towards the front of the plane, his eyes immediately landing on Vic, Charlie, his mum and Jack coming on.
“Hey Adam, how’ve you been?” Vic asked, offering him a small smile.
Adam opened and closed his mouth as he looked between Robert and Vic, his throat going dry. “Good, good, yeah m’good,” he said through a sheepish smile. “How’ve you been? I-I mean you look great and just-”
“She has a boyfriend Adam, don’t even try,” Robert said as he rolled his eyes, his best mate having a crush on his sister since they were in high school.
Everyone on the plane snapped their heads to Adam, the Irish lad’s cheeks immediately going bright red.
“Yeah, hey, I’m the boyfriend,” Charlie said, waving to him and offering him a tight lined smile.
“Oh this just got loads more interesting,” Aaron muttered as he looked between Adam and Vic, earning a chuckle from Robert.
“Alright everyone, put your stuff down, pick somewhere to sit and relax,” Robert said, smiling at all of them as he walked over to his mum and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.
After Charlie was done eyeing Adam carefully and shifting Vic to the other side of the plane he was nearly jumping in his seat, thinking about where he was.
“Oh my, hello everyone!” Clara said happily. “I’m Clara, Robert’s publicist,” she introduced, shaking all of their hands. “This is definitely a change from how we normally travel, huh R?” she asked jokingly.
Robert hummed, never having this many people on the plane. At most it's Clara, Adam and Ed. But now there are six more people joining them, and Robert couldn’t be happier.
Once introductions were over with everyone Holden was quick to run over to Jack and Diane, giving them both big hugs before moving over to Vic and Charlie. Robert doesn’t know how but after not seeing them for a day it was like Holden had a million new things to tell them.
“You okay Aaron?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows as the older lad slowly took a seat next to him on the couch.
Aaron hummed as he bit his lip. “Just uhm, just mildly terrified of flying.”
“You’re telling me this now? After we’re ready to go on an 8 hour flight?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, trying desperately not to laugh.
“W-well I’ve never flown before and just like…” Aaron trailed off.
“Babe it won’t even feel like we’re flying, trust me,” Robert said, rubbing small circles into the older lad’s back. “We’ll hang out, have some dinner, get some sleep and we’re there.”
Aaron nodded as he let out a deep breath. Maybe he should’ve ignored Ross’s texts when he started talking about plane horror stories.
“The three of us have a lot to talk about,” Clara said, sitting across from them at the table.
Robert looked over at Aaron one more time, making sure he was actually okay before kissing his temple and pulling him into his side. “Well the sooner we start the sooner we’ll finish.”
Clara nodded as she pulled out all her papers, a pen and notebook, trying to stay organized. “Alright, so first things first, your relationship in the media,” she said, her eyes shifting between different papers. “Alleged rumors are going around that you guys are dating and that Holden is Aaron’s son, and that’s exactly what we wanted,” Clara said, offering them both a small smile. “We’ve had a “reliable source”, or me, say that you two used to date and are getting close again. There have been some fan rumors that Holden is also yours Robert because there’s no denying you look alike, which is also something we wanted. It would be too much if we hit everyone with the news head on. We did want some rumors going around that he’s also yours and we’ve had a couple magazine and online articles already post some things suggesting that.”
Robert nodded as he took in everything Clara was saying, and when he looked over to Aaron the older lad looked just a tiny bit lost.
“Now you have your performance on New Year’s Eve and there’s no doubt in my mind all eyes and cameras will be on you two when the clock hits midnight, and that’ll basically seal the deal that you two are serious,” Clara said, looking back to her papers. “And the day after that we have Good Morning America where you’ll confirm that you’re seeing each other, and that Holden is also yours. Plus you have a five set song performance, but we’ll talk about that in a little bit.”
Aaron rubbed his hands over his face, all of this coming so fast. He knew it was bound to happen eventually and he was okay it was happening, but he still worried. He didn’t want people bombarding him and Holden when they’re out in public and he doesn’t want people saying bad things about Robert or him because of when they broke up and Robert left him with a kid. Or maybe they would say that Aaron was just using Robert for his money and Holden wasn’t really his or-
“Aaron, babe what’s wrong?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, worry sketched all over the older lad’s face.
Aaron shook his head and let out a deep breath as he felt the plane under them begin to rumble and move. “The media, the fans… What’re they gonna say? What’re they gonna do when they find out?”
Robert opened his mouth to say something, but Clara beat him to it.
“Aaron I understand you’re worried, but trust me we have this all under control,” she said softly. “Security is all worked out for you and Holden and whatever the media comes up with we can shut it down quickly. Believe it or not but it’s very easy to deny something if it’s false in the media and an apology will be given out by the source.”
Aaron bit his lip as he took in what she was saying and let out another deep breath, feeling the plane pick up speed. If Clara said she had everything under control then he believed her. Clearly she was close with Robert and she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him or them.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I’m just… It might take me a bit to adjust to all of this. You know the cameras, the people, and making sure Holden is okay with all of it.”
“And I want to make it an easy transition for you,” Clara said, offering him a small smile. “I know it’s a lot and these past couple months you’ve been doing great. Just keep doing what you’re doing and everything will be fine, I promise.”
Aaron couldn’t even nod before he felt the plane start to take off, his hand immediately grabbing Robert’s and squeezing it tightly before he looked around for Holden, wanting to make sure he was okay. And when he spotted the toddler he was on Adam’s lap, his hands in the air like he was on a ride.
“C’mon even the 3 year old is having fun, relax,” Robert teased slightly as he pulled Aaron into his side and kissed his hair.
Aaron wasn’t even sure he was breathing until he felt the plane take a steady course, only then relaxing a bit.
They talked about the media for a few more minutes, them being warned that the paps and fans will be crazy for a few days at the news but they were ensured maximum security. So once that was done all Robert had to do was pick what songs he’ll be singing for his Good Morning America performance.
He had chosen two of his more acoustic songs and then two upbeat songs before remembering he was also playing his new single for the first time.
“Encore?” Clara asked with raised eyebrows one she had the names of the songs written down.
“Uhm.. Let’s do Leave Your Lover,” Robert said as he bit his lip.
Clara and Aaron stilled where they were, even Ed picked his head up from the game he was playing on his phone.
“Mate you haven’t played that in 4 years… And the last time you tried to play it you literally had to stop because you started crying in front of a sold out show…” Ed said slowly.
Robert let out a quiet breath, very well remembering that show, being just a month after he and Aaron broke up. “Well it’s different now,” he shrugged, glancing over at the blue eyed lad. “It was a favorite and I think everyone would like to hear it again.”
“Leave Your Lover it is,” Clara said through a grin, writing it down on the paper. “Alright, works done, now we can relax.”
Robert smiled happily to himself before pulling out his own papers and went over the rest of the songs he had to perfect before he recorded them.
Everyone else was Aaronnging around, Aaron pulling out students’ papers he had to grade and working next to Robert as Holden played with some of his toys on the floor with Adam. The tv was on in the background, playing some movie and Diane and Jack were talking as Vic read a book and Charlie nervously made his way over to Ed, trying to talk to him. Robert was actually surprised the ginger lad put his game down for more than five minutes to talk to him.
Hours later they all had dinner, every single one of them saying that plane food can’t possibly be that good, but it was a private plane after all. To pass some more time Robert and Ed got their guitars out, played a few songs and tried not to laugh as they played, watching as Holden started dancing by himself and singing along to the songs he knew.
By the time they were done playing Holden was tired and all sweaty from his dancing so he immediately climbed onto his daddy’s lap, spreading out and saying he was going to bed.
Aaron was a bit nervous, not wanting him to go to bed too early, but he could also see how exhausted the toddler was, so he didn’t stop him. Instead Aaron gently rubbed Holden’s back and lulled him to sleep, grateful everyone began to quiet down so he could rest.
For the next three or so hours everyone played board games or just talked. One by one people started drifting off to sleep, but Ed, Adam, Charlie and Robert stayed up, the curly haired lad needing to prove he was the best Scrabble player on the plane.
And just as it was his turn, the plane nearly dead silent except for the hum of the engines he was at a complete loss of what to play. He glanced over at Aaron, the older lad still fast asleep on the other couch before looking back to the board and trying to figure out his move.
“Papa?” Holden mumbled tiredly, wiping his sleep filled eyes as he shuffled over to his father.
“Hang on one second buddy,” Robert said, nibbling on his bottom lip, his eyes locked on the board.
“But papa,” Holden said, tapping his shoulder to get his attention.
“R, hang on,” Robert breathed out, looking between his letters and the words on the board.
Holden let out a quiet whine as he crossed one leg over the other and gripped at his pants. “Papa please,” he said, jumping up and down slightly.
“Holden I’ll help you in-”
“Robert,” Adam said quickly, it looking like the toddler was a second away from crying.
Robert looked down at Holden, sure enough tears were in his eyes and he was doing his little potty dance. “Oh shit,” he muttered before quickly pushing himself out of his seat and scooping the toddler up.
But Robert couldn’t even get halfway down the hall before he felt Holden’s pants getting wet and heard quiet cries escaping the 3 year old as he rested his head on his shoulder.
“P-papa I sorry,” Holden mumbled into his neck.
Robert felt his heart drop into his stomach as he got into the bathroom and set Holden down. “No, this is all my fault, you did nothing wrong,” he tried to assure him. “Buddy I am so so sorry,” Robert barely whispered as he shook his head. “You stay right here okay? Take off your clothes and sit on the potty until I come back, alright?”
Holden nodded as he hiccuped to himself and began pulling off his wet pants.
Robert let out a quiet breath before walking out of the bathroom and running a hand over his face, trying to rush and get Holden new clothes. He couldn’t even say how sorry he was, how awful he felt because Holden was trying to tell him, and he just ignored him.
“Hey, he alright?” Ed asked worriedly as he saw the curly haired lad rushing around.
“Uhm yeah, he’s fine,” Robert breathed out, grabbing Holden’s bag. “He had an accident but it’s all my fault, just… Just please don’t say anything about it to him, he might be a little embarrassed.”
“Of course mate, go help him out,” Adam said softly, both Charlie and Ed nodding along.
Robert thanked them quickly before making his way back to Holden, the toddler doing exactly what he was told and sitting on the toilet when he got to him. “R I don’t know what to say, I really am so sorry,” he said quietly, reaching into the toddler’s bag and pulling out fresh clothes.
He couldn’t even help Holden in his underwear before the 3 year old started crying again, hiding his face in his hands and hiccuping to himself.
“Buddy what’s wrong?” Robert asked softly, trying to get him to put his clothes on.
“I-I no big b-boy,” Holden cried into his hands. “A-and E-Ed and Adam and u-uncle Charlie s-see me go potty i-in my pants,” he said, his tears coming out faster and faster.
“Holden, listen to me,” Robert said quietly, getting the toddler into his pants before pulling him into his chest and hugging him gently. “You are the biggest boy I know… And you know what, none of this is your fault, it’s all mine, okay? Big boys like you try to get help and that’s exactly what you did but papa wasn’t listening and he's so sorry buddy.”
Holden hugged him back, his tears falling onto his papa’s shirt as he rested his head on his shoulder.
“And Ed and Adam and uncle Charlie don’t even know okay? Don’t worry big guy, it’s okay,” Robert said softly as he rubbed the 3 year old’s back. “You can even say it, it’s all your fault papa,” he said, pulling away slightly, wiping Holden’s cheeks and smiling at him.
“It’s all your fault papa,” Holden mumbled, looking to his feet.
“C’mon, you can do better than that.”
Holden bit his lip as he smiled to himself. “It’s all your fault papa,” he said again through a small giggle.
“There we go,” Robert said, pulling him back into his chest and kissing his head. “I don’t think I can say sorry enough, I feel so awful buddy.”
“Well it all your fault,” Holden mumbled teasingly into his shoulder.
“Alright smarty pants,” Robert said as he laughed to himself and pulled away from the 3 year old. “Let’s finish getting you changed and we can go relax alright?”
Holden nodded and let his papa put his shirt on him before picking up his wet clothes and putting them in a plastic bag.
“Ready buddy?” Robert asked, already walking out of the bathroom with the toddler’s hand in his own.
But just before they could get out of the hallway Holden slowed down, biting his lip as he hid behind his papa’s legs and carefully peeked his head out to see Ed, Adam and his uncle Charlie.
“It’s okay R, I promise,” Robert said softly, picking the toddler up and carrying him towards the table.
“Hey there he is,” Charlie said happily. “How was your sleep buddy? You gonna be up for the rest of the night?”
Robert was beyond grateful that none of the boys had said anything, and he was even happier to see Holden smile at Charlie before reaching for him and climbing in his lap.
He put Holden’s bag down before placing the bag with his soiled clothes off to the side, knowing he’ll have to tell Aaron what happened when he wakes up. But for now he took his seat back at the table and picked up the game where they left off.
Holden made himself comfortable in Charlie’s lap, leaning back against his chest and plopping his thumb in his mouth before watching the four boys play the game.
An hour and Scrabble game won by Robert later Holden had moved to Ed’s arms, immediately falling asleep as the ginger haired lad sang quietly under his breath to him and rubbed his back.
The four boys called it a night, all of them sleeping where they were sitting except for Robert who stayed up and worked on a few more song ideas. But he couldn’t get that far before he felt a gentle hand run through his hair. And when he looked up he saw Aaron smiling tiredly at him before taking a seat next to him.
Robert offered him a small smile, putting his pen down and turning to face him. He told Aaron what had happened with Holden and the more he told him the more upset he could see the older lad getting.
It was more than obvious that Aaron was mad, but held everything in him so he wouldn’t wake everyone on the plane up.
He whisper yelled, and sent hard glares to Robert for not listening to Holden or checking if he was okay. And Robert got it, he really did understand. What he did was completely wrong and he should have been more focused on Holden than some board game, but even when he apologized to Aaron more than a million times and told him how awful he felt he knew the older lad was still a bit mad at him.
Robert understood that he was still proving to Aaron that he could be a good parent, that one mistake could set him back with the older lad. So he got why Aaron was mad at him, but the more they talked the more the older lad could see how sorry and how awful he felt about what happened. And by the time Robert was nearly falling asleep in the middle of his sentence Aaron had calmed down before laying with the younger lad on the couch, the two sleeping in each other’s arms until they landed in New York.
*~*
As soon as they got into the hotel room Aaron dropped his bags and shuffled over to the couch. He didn’t even look around the more than luxurious suite before throwing himself down on the plush furniture.
His ears were hurting from the plane, he had the biggest headache in the world from all the screaming people and flashing camera lights at the airport and then right outside the hotel, and he was beyond exhausted. Aaron decided he really, really hated traveling.
“R are you hungry or anything?” Robert asked softly as he shifted the toddler on his hip and let his bodyguards bring all of their luggage in.
Holden hummed tiredly as he nodded against his papa’s shoulder, trying to wake up a bit.
“Alright big guy, I’ll set you down here and I’ll call for some food okay?” Robert said, putting Holden down in one of the oversized chairs and kissing his head quickly. “Aaron do you want anything to eat?” he asked the older lad quietly, walking over to him and gently running his fingers through his hair.
Aaron grumbled to himself as he leaned into Robert’s touch. He didn’t know what he wanted or even how he was feeling. He was still slightly upset with Robert for what happened on the plane and now he just felt disgusting and tired.
“Love what to do you need?” Robert asked, kneeling beside the couch and rubbing Aaron’s back. It was clear that he didn’t feel well and Robert wished there was anything he could do to help him.
“I need a thousand pills, some tea and a shower,” Aaron mumbled into the couch cushions.
“Okay,” Robert said softly before kissing Aaron’s temple. “I’ll get you some medicine and make your tea, you go shower.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself and slowly sat up. But before he could even get off the couch he heard Loud banging at the door, making him wince.
Robert rushed over to the door, looking through the peephole before seeing Adam and Ed standing there. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he asked as he opened the door.
“Time to get our drink on, let’s go!” Adam said excitedly.
Robert bit his lip as he glanced over his shoulder to Aaron, seeing the older lad’s eyes already on him. “I can’t m’sorry,” he said as he shook his head. “Aaron doesn’t feel well and Holden is hungry and just, yeah.”
He knew that whenever they travel anywhere this is what they do. They throw their bags in their rooms before heading down to the bar and getting proper drunk, but Robert couldn’t, not this time.
“You need help?” Ed asked, already walking into the room with Adam following right behind him.
“No, it’s fine, you guys can go,” Robert said, but he was clearly ignored as Adam went to check on Aaron and Ed walked right over to Holden, picking him up and pulling him into his chest.
“First time travelling is always the worst, believe me,” Adam said, rubbing Aaron’s back.
Aaron really just wanted to groan and hide his face in a pillow, but instead he nodded and very slowly stood up. He muttered to Robert that he was going to take a shower before looking around for the bedroom and shuffling away.
“He okay?” Ed asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Robert let out a deep breath as he threw himself on the couch and started looking through the room service menu. It was about 9pm New York time but back in London it was 2am, and he knew Aaron and Holden were a little out of sorts because of the time change.
“He’s a little mad at me for what happened on the plane with-” he gestured over to Holden, “and he has a headache and he just doesn’t feel good.”
“I’m sure he’ll perk up after his shower,” Ed said quietly as he watched Holden play with his bracelets.
Adam hummed his agreement as he started going through the bags on the floor, looking through them to find Holden’s toys. But as Robert heard Ed he wasn’t so sure. He still ordered food for all of them, including Aaron, even if he didn’t want anything before starting his tea and coming back into the living room.
“Adam stop! That mine!!” Holden said, getting off Ed’s lap and grabbing his toy from the Irish man.
“Buddy I know, I was getting it out for you,” Adam said quietly, the toddler clearly mad at him.
“No touch! It mine!!” Holden said, pulling his toy into his chest and glaring at Adam.
Adam opened and closed his mouth, not sure what to say, but thankfully he didn’t have to say anything because Robert came to the rescue.
“R, stop that, that’s not nice,” Robert said, taking a seat back on the couch. “Adam wasn’t doing anything wrong, he just wanted to play with you.”
“But it mine!!” Holden said, stomping his little foot.
Robert let out a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face, tonight really not being his night. “Holden both Adam and I know that’s your toy. He wasn’t trying to take it from you, he was going to pass it to you so you could play.”
Holden didn’t take his eyes off Adam as he clung to his toy and continued to glare at the older man.
“R come here,” Robert said, trying his hardest not to sound frustrated. And once the 3 year old finally peeled his eyes off of Adam he shuffled over to Robert and stood in front of him. “Buddy I know you’re tired and you’re hungry but it’s not okay to be mean to someone who wanted to do something nice for you,” he said softly. “Remember how you two were playing on the plane? That’s all Adam wanted to do. He was trying to make you feel better.”
And it was almost immediate that Holden’s face softened as glanced over at Adam, seeing he made the older man a bit upset. “Sorry Adam,” he said quietly before going over to him and hugging him.
Robert let out a breath of relief as he sat back against the couch, feeling like now he could use a drink or four. There was no doubt in his mind that later he’d have at least one to relax a bit. But for right now all he could do was try to relax on the couch, watch Holden and Adam play on the floor and wait until the food came.
Thankfully though by the time all of them, even Aaron, were done eating everyone was calm and feeling more like themselves.
Ed and Adam did make their way down to the bar but Robert stayed behind. Instead he tucked Holden into bed and made his way to his own room where Aaron was already laying down.
“Feeling better?” he asked, looking through his suitcase for a fresh shirt.
Aaron hummed as he pulled off his glasses and set his book down on the bedside table. “Headache is gone and I don’t smell like a trashcan anymore.”
Robert laughed to himself as he pulled off his pants and tugged a clean shirt over his head before joining the older lad on the bed. He glanced over at Aaron, his back to him as he laid on the bed, and Robert knew he was still a little upset with him and beyond tired and tense. And without thinking he reached a hand over, gently tugging at the hem of Aaron’s shirt.
“R stop,” Aaron breathed out.
“No, c’mere,” Robert said, pulling on his arm and moving him to the middle of the bed. “Take your shirt off and lay on your stomach.”
Aaron slowly turned his head to look at Robert, not believing what he just said. “Are you serious right now? Like you really think that I’m in any mood to-”
“Aaron relax,” Robert said through a chuckle. “I’m not trying to get something going, I was just gonna rub your back.”
“Oh…” Aaron said quietly as he nibbled on his bottom lip. “Uhm, yeah sure,” he said through a small smile, that actually sounding amazing as he pulled his shirt over his head and laid on his stomach.
Robert raked his eyes down Aaron’s back, getting stuck on where his boxers clung to his bum. And God did Robert miss this sight. Aaron sprawled over the bed, just waiting for him. And even if it wasn’t for the reason Robert had in his head, still at the sight he couldn’t move.
“Could you maybe get lo-...” Aaron turned his head to look at the younger lad, a small smirk coming to him as he saw Robert just staring at his arse. “You okay R?”
“Huh?” Robert snapped his head up. “Uhm lotion, yeah, yeah, got it,” he rushed out, reaching for the bottle on his bedside table.
He swallowed thickly as Aaron rested his head back on the pillow, waiting for him to do something. So Robert carefully picked himself up, swung one leg over the older lad so he was straddling his back before gently settling himself on Aaron’s bum.
“Robert…” Aaron said through a shaky breath, his eyes just barely catching the younger lad’s as he looked over his shoulder.
“Relax love,” Robert said softly as he put lotion on his hands before lightly rubbing it all over Aaron’s back.
Aaron could nearly hear his heart pounding in his ears as he felt Robert’s crotch pressed into his bum. But that was just before he felt the younger lad’s fingers pressing into his skin, his eyes immediately closing and quiet groan escaping him at the feeling.
“There we go,” Robert said through a small smile as he ran his hands down Aaron’s slick skin and pressed his thumbs into the older lad’s lower back. “Aaron…?” he asked quietly, wanting to talk to him.
Aaron made some noise as he melted into Robert’s touch. It sounded like a mumbled moan as he pressed his face into his pillow, but that was the only thing he could do to tell the younger lad he was listening.
“I know I’ve said it a million times but I really am so sorry about what happened with Holden on the plane,” Robert barely whispered, still kneading into Aaron’s back gently. “I know it was completely wrong of me to not listen to him or see if he needed anything, I’m just… I’m so sorry…”
Aaron bit his lip as he felt Robert’s hands stop, turning his head to look at the younger lad over his shoulder and letting out a small breath. “I know you’re still getting used to this parent thing, but you have to remember he’s 3 and you’re his father Robert…” he said quietly. “He’s going to ask for your attention over things like that and if you don’t give it to him it comes off as if you don’t care.”
Robert wanted to rush out that of course he cares, he cares about Holden more than anything. But instead he just nodded, not wanting to seem defensive. “I know, I just have to keep stuff like that in mind.”
Aaron nodded, knowing that Robert understood what he was saying as he laid his head back down on the pillow. “Thank you for apologizing,” he said in a hushed tone.
Robert let out a relieved breath as he smiled softly to himself and leaned forward until his head was next to Aaron’s, gently pressing their lips together before giving him a few more pecks.
“Robert I’m sorry but if you keep doing this I’m gonna get hard with your dick pressed into my ass the way it is right now,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh.
“Would that be so bad?” Robert asked teasingly as he smirked to himself and sat up, continuing with massaging the older lad’s back.
All Aaron did was groan, but to Robert that wasn’t necessarily a no. Instead of torturing the older lad though Robert continued rubbing Aaron’s back, him letting out quiet moans and mumbling incoherent words into his pillow as Robert’s slick fingers worked at his tense muscles.
And it wasn’t too long later Aaron was completely relaxed, his back loose and Robert’s lips on his with shaky breaths exchanged between them.
They kissed until their lips were bruised, their hair tousled and half hards were being pressed together through the thin material of their boxers. But of course before Robert could even pull his shirt off the two had to abruptly break apart at hearing their bedroom door opening.
“Daddy? Papa?” Holden asked sleepily as he shuffled into the room, heading straight for the bed.
“Buddy what are you doing up?” Aaron asked through a deep breath, trying to calm down and adjust himself under the covers.
“New bed and hard to sleep,” Holden mumbled tiredly as he tried to climb on the bed.
Robert tried not to groan as he heard the toddler and faced away from the two of them, wanting desperately for his half hard to disappear.
“Alright, c’mon,” Aaron breathed out as he helped the toddler on the bed. “Lay down, try to get some sleep,” he said, settling the 3 year old on his right side.
Once Robert had calmed down enough he turned back over so he was facing the older lad who was stuck in between him and Holden. “You know we’ll have to pick this back up at some point,” he whispered into Aaron’s ear, making him laugh quietly.
“We’ll have to make sure a certain toddler is asleep first though,” Aaron said as he bit his lip and felt his cheeks heating up, just thinking about what would’ve happened if Holden didn’t come in.
Robert hummed to himself as he nipped at the older lad’s collar bone and pressed a wet kiss into the marking.
Aaron squeezed his eyes shut as he elbowed Robert, earning a chuckle from the younger lad before he began peppering kisses all over his chest, working his way up his neck and then finally connecting their lips gently.
“Goodnight,” Robert mumbled against him through a small smirk.
“Night,” Aaron whispered as Robert pulled away slightly, unable to stop the smile that came to him as he felt the younger lad brushing his fingers through his hair.
“Night night,” Holden yawned as he tossed and turned on the bed.
Both Aaron and Robert rolled their eyes as they heard the 3 year old, but that didn’t stop them from pulling him into the middle of the bed, wrapping their arms around each other and lulling him to sleep.
*~*
The next two days in the city were chaotic to say the least.
Robert made it a point to show Aaron, Holden and his family his favorite spots in the city, dragging them to Times Square and going to little hole in the wall restaurants to eat.
Even in the cold weather walking around the city was amazing, the buildings all lit up and the busy stores calming down slightly now that Christmas had passed. But of course because they were walking around with Robert Sugden the crowds followed them, screaming girls and excited boys knowing where they were at all times it seemed.
Of course none of them actually got close to them because of the wall of security guards they had, but Aaron only feared what it would be like when people found out Robert was a father. He knew the news would make headlines and that people would be shocked, only bringing if possible more attention to them.
When they were walking through the stores in Times Square as the day went on it became increasingly difficult. All Holden wanted to do was run around the massive stores, trying to get his hands on every toy he laid his eyes on, but he had to stay in Robert or Aaron’s arms.
Aaron wasn’t risking anything with putting him down and someone accidentally knocking into him or pulling on him. Luckily he wasn’t to resistant though, happy to be in either of their arms if he still got to look at all of the toys. And if Robert had it his way he would’ve bought all of them for the 3 year old but after they had about four bags full of toys, clothes and candy Aaron told him to stop, not wanting Holden to get everything he asked for. Thankfully Robert did understand that Aaron didn’t want to spoil him, but at least he could still spoil Vic, Charlie, Jack and his mum while they were out. Adam and Ed he left to fend for themselves as usual.
But after two days of walking around the city, screaming girls, flashing camera lights and basically everything in Times Square bought everyone was in their rooms getting ready New Year’s Eve.
Robert and Ed had already done their soundcheck while everyone else had dinner in the hotel’s restaurant. So the only thing they had to do was get dressed, bundle up for the cold and head back to Times Square to wait for their performance and for the clock to strike midnight.
Aaron made sure Holden was wearing his thickest clothes and had a minimum of three layers on before getting him situated in his stroller and wrapping him in blankets. He wasn’t taking any chances, even if the toddler complained about being too hot, Aaron knew that when they were outside for hours that Holden would be grateful.
“Aaron! You ready?” Adam yelled as he came into the hotel room. “Everyone is at Times Square waiting for us!”
All he got for a response though was a Loud and annoyed “stop daddy!!” from Holden.
“You’ll thank me when your ears don’t freeze off,” Aaron said, pushing Holden’s stroller into the room and adjusting the toddler’s hat.
Adam smiled to himself as he saw the two and heard Holden groaning from his stroller. And as the 3 year old had a million layers and blankets on him Aaron was all dressed up in his nicest clothes. “You’re not trying to impress a certain curly haired lad, are ya Aaron?”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he ran his hand down the front of his cardigan and reached for his coat to bundle up. “I don’t need to impress,” he scoffed. “You on the other hand are still trying to be a girlfriend stealer and I know that’s why you broke out the glasses. Robert told me that Vic complimented you on them one time and-”
“Okay! Yeah, whatever,” Adam said stopping him as he felt his cheeks heating up. “And I’m not a girlfriend stealer,” he mumbled, following the older lad out of the room.
“Mate yesterday at dinner Charlie had to ask you to move because you took the only seat next to Gem… Like you shoved him out of the way...” Aaron said with raised eyebrows.
Adam shrugged as they got into the lift. “Well I saw a seat and he got in my way,” he muttered.
Aaron looked over to the Irish lad and hummed, trying to hold back a small laugh. “Mate seriously it’s been years, get over your high school crush. We’re in New York City for God’s sake, keep your options open.”
“Oh c’mon Aaron, you know I get some at least once a week, it’s not like I’m closing myself off,” Adam huffed.
“Get what?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Se-”
Aaron clapped a hand over Adam’s mouth, looking at him wide eyed before slapping him upside the head and pushing Holden’s stroller out of the lift. “Friends,” he said quickly. “Adam is really good at making friends.”
“Oh,” Holden said as he nodded to himself, that making sense because Adam was very nice and funny.
Aaron let out a breath of relief as he and Adam made their way onto the city streets, Times Square only being three blocks away. But as they made their way down the pavement Aaron was sure to send the Irishman a small glare, keeping in mind to watch Adam when he’s around Holden, him not wanting the younger lad to tell his son things he shouldn’t be.
They made their way through the thick crowds, Adam leading Aaron one way and then another to get them to the stage Robert and Ed were performing on right in front of where the ball drop is.
He gave their names to two security guards when they got there and they were quick to be let to the side of the stage where Diane, Jack, Charlie and Vic were all standing by a huge space heater.
“Geez Holden, you warm enough?” Vic teased as she reached for the toddler.
“I know, tell that to daddy,” Holden muttered as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his auntie’s neck.
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Aaron breathed out. “Where’s Robert? He’ll be nice to- oh my God!” he jumped, feeling someone wrap their arms around his waist before he turned around and saw a laughing Robert. “You arse, don’t do that!!” Aaron said through a chuckle as he hit the younger lad’s chest, just making him laugh more.
Robert rolled his eyes as he leaned down towards Aaron, but before their lips met he felt a finger being pressed to his mouth.
“Wait til midnight,” Aaron said as he shook his head and laughed to himself.
“But that’s in three hours!!” Robert said wide eyed.
“So I expect one hell of a kiss,” Aaron said through a small smirk.
“Get a room,” Ed muttered as he came up to the group and rolled his eyes at the two. “R what’re you doin up? Isn’t is past your bedtime?” he asked the 3 year old.
“Daddy say I watch you and papa play and then I go to nana and grandpa’s room to go night night,” Holden explained as he played with his aunt’s necklace.
Ed nodded as he smiled at the toddler, happy that he was here to watch them perform even if he wouldn’t stay for the ball drop. There was no doubt in his mind though that the 3 year old would pass out before that anyway.
They all hung out backstage, standing around the heater and waiting until it was time for Robert and Ed to go on. Aaron suggested Adam search the crowd for a single girl but all the Irish lad did was let out a deep breath and mumble to himself.
Holden, Jack and Diane talked about their plans for going to the Transit Museum to check out all the old trains after the interview tomorrow, and the more they talked about it the more excited Holden got. And because of his new fascination with trains while they were shopping earlier today Robert and Jack took it upon themselves to get the toddler a nice set to take back home. Aaron wasn’t even sure if their playroom had enough space to hold all the new toys the 3 year old got just from this trip alone.
It was only an hour later Robert was getting ready to go on, him by himself before Ed joined on the last two. But the younger lad was set to go out again just before the ball drop, Holden unfortunately not being able to stay up for that one, but Robert assured him he wasn’t going to miss much.
“You ready?” Aaron asked softly, fixing the collar of Robert’s coat after he slung his guitar over his shoulder.
“Don’t worry love, I’m much better with controlling my nerves now,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, remembering the time he was a right mess before a show and Aaron always had to calm him down.
“Just making sure,” Aaron muttered as he smiled to himself and looked the younger lad over. “You’ll do great, like always.”
Robert hummed, a slow grin coming over him as he leaned down and kissed Aaron’s cheek gently. “Make sure my fan club over here is cheering properly.”
“Of course,” Aaron said, watching as Robert backed away and swung his guitar over his front.
Robert sent a wink to the older lad before kissing Holden’s cheek gently and saying his goodbye’s to everyone else before stepping up right to the side of the stage. And it wasn’t until he heard his name announced where he went out, the crowd’s scream deafening and all cameras and screens in Times Square on the curly haired lad.
Robert of course got the crowd going as soon as he was in front of him, warming them up a bit with some horrid jokes and odd comments. And Aaron really doesn’t understand why anyone would laugh, but here was an entire crowd clutching their stomachs as they watched Robert.
“Okay, okay!” Robert laughed into his microphone as he adjusted his guitar. “So this song is gonna be on my upcoming album and I uh, I actually wrote it for someone very special who is actually here with me tonight,” he said, glancing to the side of the stage and smiling at the older lad. “This one’s for you Aaron.”
Aaron felt his cheeks immediately heating up as he saw everyone on the side of that stage smiling at him and Holden was giggling in his stroller. But still, he watched as Robert began playing, the song was fun and upbeat and Aaron already loved it.
The lyrics were beautiful and Robert sang it with a wide smile on his face as the crowd clapped along.
Aaron had to strain himself so his smile wouldn’t break his face as he listened, but when he looked over to Holden it was impossible to stop his heart from melting at seeing him dance with Charlie and Vic to the song.
Diane looked close to crying, Jack was watching Robert with a soft smile, and Aaron was just grateful there wasn’t a camera back there because they all looked ridicuAarons.
It wasn’t too long later the song was over though and Ed immediately made his way on stage with his own guitar over his shoulder, the crowd going into an absolute frenzy as they saw the ginger haired man. And he wasn’t even out there for 30 seconds before the two started to play I’m a Mess, Ed always wanting to get right to it. Of course Robert knew that too as he strummed right along with him, building off of what the older lad was playing and following after him until his verse came up.
Aaron always loved watching them play together years back and as he watched the two tonight he forgot just how much he loved it. What made it more special though was that Holden was here now, and so was Robert’s family.
The two boys played through the song, ignoring the light snow that began to fall around them and smiling as they saw themselves on every single screen in Times Square. It was definitely a sight neither one of them would forget for a long time.
The buildings all lit up around them, the excited energy from the crowd as the clock continued counting down until the New Year. But when it was time for their final song Ed sipped at his water as Robert leaned towards the microphone.
“Now this next song is a new one Ed and I wrote a little while ago just for tonight!” he said happily, earning a Loud cheer. “So I’m gonna switch out my guitar for a pair of drumsticks because a toddler told me to and play what we’ve come up with!” he said looking over to the side of the stage and winking at Holden, the 3 year old clapping and cheering Aarondly.
“Seriously mate? Holden asked you to?” Ed asked through a chuckle into the microphone.
“Oh yeah, he loves it when I play drums,” Robert said, adjusting his microphone over his ear and looking back to the toddler.
Ed rolled his eyes fondly, thinking the younger lad would play piano considering he wrote the piece for it, but instead someone else was sitting in front of the instrument. “Alright, this is called This Is The New Year, hope you enjoy it,” he said.
There were some cheers before the piano and guitar rang through the air, already upbeat and exciting.
Aaron glanced over at Holden, the 3 year old already dancing and clapping his hands. But it wasn’t until he heard the drums did he still, a wide smile spreading across his face as he watched his papa on the stage.
“Go papa!!” Holden yelled, swinging his arms like he was playing the drums with his father.
Even as Robert sang with Ed and played he kept glancing over to the side, his eyes catching Holden as Aaron twirled him around and the 3 year old was dancing like a maniac. But it wasn’t just the two of them, it was his family as well that was watching him with huge grins on their faces.
And as the song got Aaronder, as it built up, Robert hit the drums harder and harder, his own smile blinding the further they got into it.
He and Ed sang in perfect harmony, the older lad looking back to him a few times and grinning like mad as they played. But when it got into the instrumental part, the Aarondest section in the song, he went over to Robert as the younger lad banged on the drums, his arms going in a frenzy as Ed’s fingers moved along the fretboard quickly.
Holden was screaming his head off as he watched his papa, Aaron’s own eyes going wide and Robert’s family completely still at the sight of them on stage. But the two continued on, their singing Aaronder, more energized and the crowd was in a state of shock, but that’s exactly what Robert and Ed wanted.
So when the song was done and they were both breathless everyone went crazy, the Aarondest screams of the night. The two hoped that the millions of people watching on tv were just as happy with the song, but they didn’t linger on stage for too long before saying goodnight and heading off to the side.
“Papa what that?!” Holden shrieked as he ran to his father. “You play so good and go boom, bang!!” he said, mimicking what his papa looked like when playing the drums.
Robert let out an airy laugh as he scooped the toddler up and kissed his cheek. “That was me being awesome, that’s what that was.”
Ed scoffed as he shook his head and passed his guitar to someone working backstage. “In your dreams mate,” he muttered jokingly before jabbing the younger lad’s side.
Robert couldn’t even say anything back before he was basically attacked, his mum and Jack hugging him, his sister nearly choking him with how hard she was squeezing him. And then there was Aaron, trying so hard to not just kiss him but instead pulled him into his chest and held him, told him how amazing he was and how much he loved it.
But it wasn’t soon after Robert had to say goodnight to his mum and Jack, them taking Holden back to the hotel so he could sleep.
He showered the toddler in hugs and kisses until he was complaining and then Aaron did the same thing to the 3 year old. And by the end of it Holden wasn’t all that sad about leaving because he just wanted to get away from the two.
So now it was just Aaron, Robert, Ed, Adam, Vic and Charlie backstage, listening to the other acts and trying to keep warm by the heater.
They all made conversation with the other performers, Charlie more like just staring at the famous people in front of them, but he tried his hardest to act normal. But Aaron saw past his act, it clear that the older lad was clearly a mess whenever Ed or Robert introduced them to someone.
The later it got into the evening food and drinks were passed around backstage and all night Aaron was tucked into Robert’s side, the younger lad’s arm wrapped around his waist, his lips brushing against his ear whenever he whispered to him. And even when they just looked at each other Adam muttered “get a room” too many times to count before Aaron quickly countered back with “get a girl”, shutting the Irish lad right up.
“Geez Aaron,” Robert laughed against the older lad’s temple. “Little feisty tonight huh?” he asked jokingly, but he couldn’t miss Aaron’s small smirk as he shrugged to himself.
And Robert couldn’t even feel his cheeks heat up before he felt someone tapping his shoulder. Just from that he knew it was time to go back out on stage, and when he glanced at the clock it only confirmed his suspicion.
“Babe I gotta go,” Robert breathed out, wrapping his arms around the older lad’s waist. “Just one last song and I’m all yours.”
“Finally,” Aaron groaned dramatically even though he’s had Robert basically the entire night. “Go be a popstar.”
Robert nodded at him before kissing his cheek and waving to everyone else. This song was supposed to be timed perfectly so when he finished the countdown was at 10 seconds and then everyone would bring in the New Year together.
So when he was given the go ahead to walk on stage he only had a little bit of time to talk before playing.
He made his way on stage, his heart pounding faster and faster as the clock ticked down. But he got to the microphone anyway, the crowd calming down a bit as they saw that he wanted to talk.
“Now as the clock gets closer to midnight I just want to take a second and reflect,” he said softly, all eyes and cameras on him. “To remember our missteps and triumphs… Or our promises we made and then broke…” Robert said quietly, glancing over at Aaron and biting his lip. “Or maybe the time we closed ourselves off for the fear of getting hurt,” he said, his eyes locked on the older lad. “But now it’s the New Year and we get another chance. To make up for what we had done and to forgive the ones that hurt us.” Robert said, finally peeling his eyes away from the blue eyed lad and to the crowd, them watching him just as intensely as Aaron was. “So here’s the last song before we kick off the New Year, before we have our chance to start over.”
Aaron was frozen as he watched Robert make his way to the piano. The younger lad glanced up at the clock before letting out a deep breath and placing his fingers on the keys, waiting just a second before a soft sound came from the instrument.
And just as Robert opened his mouth to sing he locked his eyes back on Aaron’s, his voice coming out low and slow over the speakers.
All Aaron could do was look right back at him, his heart pounding but chest barely moving as shaky breaths escaped him. His eyes pooling with tears as he bit his lip but when he heard the drums and strings sneak their way in it was impossible not to let one slip.
Every word Robert sang, every note he played was to Aaron. His eyes never moving from the older lad, a single tear running down his cheek as he thought about the words he was singing.
And even when Aaron felt a gentle hand on his shoulder he couldn’t peel away his gaze, the more Robert played the more beautiful and meaningful it was, and Aaron never wanted it to stop.
But when Robert got to the quiet part, every instrument stilling and just his gentle voice coming through the speakers it was as if everything around the two of them froze. It was just them in the over crowded Times Square, Robert singing only to Aaron. And even when the song picked back up it was still just the two of them, the words in the song hitting Aaron, him knowing that this was their time, that they could actually start over.
There was no second guessing, there was no what if’s as he listened to the younger lad. It was Robert is making a promise, and Aaron knows for a fact that this time around he’s keeping it.
Only when Robert finished the song did he take his eyes away from Aaron, wiping his wet cheeks with his hand quickly before turning to the crowd. And as soon as he did that they let out the Aarondest cheers of the night, every single person going absolutely crazy or looking at him like he had three heads. But that was just before he heard the countdown from 10, the ball behind him dropping and large numbers flashing on the screen as the clock went down.
Aaron blinked a few times, trying to get out of his daze as he heard everyone around him screaming, but all he wanted to do was run into Robert’s arms.
“You want to kiss him don’t you?” Vic asked as she squeezed his shoulder. “Oh, you want to kiss him so bad right now,” she teased seeing his face.
Aaron felt his cheeks heat up, but he still nodded, the younger lad screaming into the microphone with every second that ticked down. And as he watched Robert yeah, he really, really wanted to kiss him when it hit midnight but he was still on stage.
“So go kiss him,” Vic said through a chuckle, shoving him gently towards the stage.
Aaron went wide eyed and quickly stopped himself before he was seen by anyone in the audience, scurrying back to where he knew he couldn’t be seen. But just as he did that confetti went off and everyone was screaming a Loud “Happy New Year!!” before he turned to look at Robert, the younger lad already grinning back at him and waving him over.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he glanced out towards the crowd and then back at Robert. And just at seeing the younger lad pout at him he started moving forward, his feet carrying him, faster and faster until he was on stage, his arms thrown around Robert’s neck and lips hard against his.
And it was immediate Robert’s hands were gripping Aaron’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer and moving their lips together as all camera’s were facing them, every single screen in Times Square zoomed in on the two of them and most likely on every television in America.
But even Aaron didn’t care because this was too good.
Robert was smiling so widely against him and even in the freezing cold he had never felt so warm. And for Aaron it was over too soon, but he knew they couldn’t snog in front of millions of people. So instead he tucked his head into the younger lad’s neck as Robert hugged him, holding on so tightly like any second he go.
But no one was leaving, not this time around or ever again.
*~*
“Where’s Holden?” Robert slurred into Aaron’s mouth, crashing into the hotel room and immediately pushing the older lad’s jacket off him.
Aaron breathed deeply against Robert, trying his hardest to calm down but with the alcohol in his system it seemed more and more difficult. “Your mum’s room,” he said, pressing his lips harshly against the younger lad’s. “Got all night, no interruptions.”
Robert hummed through a smirk as he pulled his own jacket off and threw it to the floor, only to kiss Aaron back a second later and getting his hands on the older lad’s thighs, him immediately getting his silent message and wrapping his legs around his waist.
And because he was still slightly tipsy he stumbled back until he hit the wall, Aaron’s clothed cock pressing into his and making a low moan come from the back of his throat. “God I missed this,” Robert mumbled against him before licking at the older lad’s bottom lip, immediately earning an entrance.
All Aaron could do was tug at Robert’s curls with one hand as the other began unbuttoning his shirt. The younger lad gripping at his arse as he stumbled towards the bedroom, their kiss getting messier, their half hards rubbing against each other with each step he took.
He pulled his own shirt off once Robert’s was unbuttoned, throwing it in the hallway and feeling the younger lad’s lips sucking at his neck, fingers pressing into his bum and making him grind against him as he walked.
Aaron’s mouth fell open as he felt Robert’s teeth nipping at his neck, planting wet and hot kisses over his skin and creating more markings on him. Robert’s lips only came off him when the younger lad tossed him on the bed, yanking his shirt off and quickly climbing over him to connect their lips again.
Robert’s fingers trailing down Aaron’s sides, every dip, every curve he had mesmerized from years before, and it was all still here. The older lad’s smooth skin was the same, the slight belly he had and defined pecs all the same, and it was everything Robert has been dying to get his hands on. But when he got to Aaron’s pants button, the older lad gasping against him he noticed something different.
He rubbed his thumb over it, growing confused as it almost felt like a scar. “What’s this?” Robert breathed out as he pulled away from Aaron, gently tugging his pants down and eyes shifting just under the band of his boxers.
Aaron let out a deep breath as he picked his head off the pillow, following Robert’s gaze. But when he saw what the younger lad was looking at he laid right back down. “C-section scar,” he said quietly.
Robert shifted his eyes back to Aaron’s, just looking at him for a second before carefully leaning down and connecting their lips. He wanted to say how sorry he was that he couldn’t be there, that now he would do anything to take back the words he said all those years ago. And he knew Aaron understood as the older lad kissed him back, how he brushed his fingers through his hair and ran a hand down his bare back.
But when Robert moved his lips off of Aaron’s the older lad let out a small whine. He travelled down his chest, sinking his teeth into Aaron’s chest before placing a wet kiss over it and moving on.
And all the older lad could do was lay completely still under him, his heaving breaths the only thing heard in the room, his eyes squeezed shut as Robert went lower and lower. But it wasn’t until the younger lad pulled his boxers down slowly, kissing his scar over and over again did Aaron’s breath hitch.
“R…” he barely whispered, his hand finding it’s way to the younger lad’s hair. “Love it’s okay,” Aaron said softly, knowing how sorry Robert was for everything, but it wasn’t even a second later he felt him shaking his head.
Robert picked his head up as he hovered over Aaron, looking down at the older lad and running a gentle thumb over his stubbled cheek. “It’ll never be okay…” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure he heard him. “You’re too good for me Aaron.”
Aaron bit his lip, trying to keep himself together as he saw how Robert was looking at him. But instead of saying anything he slowly pulled the younger lad down until their lips met in a soft kiss.
And Robert didn’t waste a second before kissing him back, his hand cupping his jaw as he laid down fully on him and hesitantly rolling his hips on top of the older lad’s. The taste of whatever Aaron had been drinking on his own tongue, the older lad’s hips circling under his and making their clothed hards meet harshly.
Aaron could already feel his pants pressing against his hard, the material between them being too much. He moved under the younger lad, trying to push his pants down his thighs but instead thrusting up towards Robert’s hard and making them both let out low groans.
“Fuck Aaron,” Robert breathed into his neck. “Can I take these off?” he asked, already pulling at the older lad’s pants.
Aaron nodded quickly, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against the pillow as Robert yanked his pants off and immediately reached for his boxers. “Wait, wait, wait,” he rushed out, grabbing Robert’s hand to stop him. “Just…” he swallowed thickly. “Not tonight…” Aaron said quietly. “I-I mean we can do other stuff but-”
He was cut off my Robert’s lips, the younger lad smiling against him and running gentle fingers along his side. “It’s okay love,” he mumbled against him. “We don’t have to do that yet.”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he carded his fingers through Robert’s curls, the younger lad leaning back down towards him to connect their lips.
“Can I at least take my pants off?” Robert chuckled against him.
Aaron nodded as he laughed to himself, already reaching for the younger lad’s pants button and popping them open. He could feel Robert let out a breath of relief against him as he pushed them down his thighs.
“God I missed your hands,” Robert mumbled against him. “Missed your fingers, missed touching you, missed your body, just missed you, all of you,” he said, crashing their lips together and grinding against the older lad.
Aaron groaned into Robert’s mouth, his toes curling, fingers scratching into the younger lad’s skin.
And they kept it like that, Robert rutting against Aaron, tasting each other in a heavy kiss and gripping at each other until bruises would form. But when Aaron felt the younger lad hesitantly reach for his boxer’s waistband he nodded against him, breathing into Robert’s mouth heavily and surging his hips up, trying to meet his hand.
“Always eager,” Robert laughed against him, slowly slipping his hand down his boxers before reaching for Aaron’s length.
Aaron broke the kiss, his head thrown back against the pillow and silent pleas escaping him as he felt Robert’s fingers around him, pumping his painfully hard length. “R, R,” he barely breathed out, the younger lad running his thumb over his tip before moving his wrist faster and faster.
A Loud moan escaped Aaron, it being years since he’s been touched like this, since it wasn’t his own hand doing the work. Robert’s own hard grinding against his thigh in time with his wrist flicking and the younger lad sucking bruises into his sweaty skin.
“R-Robert, fuck I-I-”
Aaron shot into Robert’s hand fast and hard, his cheeks immediately going red and his body stilling as he realized how quickly he let himself go. Even his teenage self would be ashamed at how easily he came undone.
“Oh my God…” he barely whispered, Robert moving to the side of him and reaching down his own boxers for some type of release.
And it only took the younger lad a few pumps before he was shooting into his own hand, Robert letting out a Loud groan as he came. But as he was breathing heavily and coming down from his rush he turned his head to look at Aaron and when he saw the younger lad he sat up.
“Aaron, babe what’s wrong?” he asked quickly.
Aaron hid his face in his hands, trying to get over his embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to come so quickly… Just… Fuck I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning over so his face was in his pillow.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, reaching for a tissue on his bedside table before cleaning his hand and rolling Aaron over so he was on his back and facing him. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said softly, kissing the older lad’s nose and cleaning off his stomach. “Believe it or not but I was a second away from coming before you. I just always like you finishing first though, gotta make sure you’re satisfied,” Robert said through a quiet laugh before kissing Aaron’s lips gently.
Aaron couldn’t help himself as he smiled against the younger lad and ran his hand down his back. “Gimme a couple minutes and we’ll go for round two. I feel like I owe you a little something,” he said, looking up as Robert hovered over him and wiggling his eyebrows playfully.
“Oh no,” Robert said through a smirk as he shook his head and attached his lips to Aaron’s neck. “All you need to do is lay there,” he said, nipping at the older lad’s skin, “and I’ll do all the work.”
And Aaron didn’t need to be told twice, stilling at Robert’s touch and letting the younger lad take him over.
*~*
When the two woke up in morning it was to someone clearing their throat, both of them slowly opening their eyes before detangling themselves from each other’s arms and quickly sitting up, seeing Clara standing there with a smirk and their clothes in her hands.
“Well good morning,” she said tossing the clothes she found in the living room on the floor. “I wish I didn’t have to do this but I’ve been banging on your door for 10 minutes and you have to be at Good Morning America in an hour,” Clara said over her shoulder, already heading out of the room.
Robert just threw himself back against the bed as Aaron’s cheeks were bright red, him clearing his throat slightly and swinging his legs over the side of the mattress.
“Hey,” Robert said softly, reaching for the older lad and placing a gentle hand on his back. “You okay?”
“Oh, you know just extremely embarrassed, but other than that I’m great,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
Robert bit his lip, trying to keep in his own laugh as he kissed Aaron’s shoulder and got out of bed. “Don’t worry, she won’t say anything to anyone. That’s basically what I pay her for,” he said looking through the drawers for outfits for the both of them.
Aaron hummed, it still being kind of weird that Clara saw them like that. But he didn’t say anything else, instead putting on the clothes Robert passed him and made quick work of getting ready for the day.
It was too early for any sane person and he felt bad for Jack and Diane who had to get Holden up. But Diane has had two kids before, she could probably handle it.
And 20 minutes later the two were dressed and ready to go, pleasantly surprised to see Diane, Jack and Adam waiting in the lobby.
“Whoa Aaron, get busy last night?” Adam asked through a barking laugh as he pointed to the older lad’s neck.
Aaron hates everyone, the world is against him he’s convinced. “Where’s our son?” he muttered, pulling his collar closer to his neck.
Diane rolled Holden over, the toddler fast asleep in his stroller. Both Aaron and Robert immediately kneeling down towards him and kissing his head. The 3 year old didn’t even wake up, instead mumbled sleepily to himself as his daddies kissed him.
And he didn’t wake up even when they got to the studio, still asleep as Aaron carried him inside Robert’s dressing room and placing him down gently on the couch.
Everyone was waiting in the room until it was time for Robert to go on, thankfully a big breakfast was there for them and no one wasted a second before digging into it.
“So mate,” Adam said quietly to Robert as he glanced over at Aaron across the room. “You two get it on last night or what?” he asked, ignoring the make up artist’s shocked face.
Robert shrugged, a small smirk coming to him as he closed his eyes and felt some brush run over his face. “We didn’t do it, but a few handy’s and blowjobs made for a pretty great night,” he muttered.
“Oooh get it R,” Adam said, bumping the younger lad’s fist with his own. “Even left your mark on him, nice touch,” he said through a chuckle, the make up artist looking at him wide eyed again.
“Most of them can’t be seen,” Robert said, winking at the Irish lad. “It was definitely a great way to start the New Year.”
“Robert,” Aaron warned, plopping himself on the couch next to his sleeping son, able to hear the younger lad from across the room.
Robert let out a small laugh as he glanced over his shoulder and turned back around to get his makeup done. “Sorry love.”
Aaron hummed, taking a big bite into his bagel before rubbing a gentle hand over Holden’s back.
They were there for about an hour before Robert got called to get ready, both his and Aaron’s nerves picking up at what he was about to do.
Holden had finally woken up when they were all waiting on the side of the stage, slowly opening his eyes and wrapping his arms around his daddy’s neck. He felt both his papa and daddy kiss his head as he woke up, but when he really opened his eyes he could see his papa waking onto a stage and heard a bunch of people clapping.
Robert could barely swallow as he stepped up to shake the interviewer’s hand, his breathing coming out Loud and heavy as he tried to calm down.
“I have been waiting too long for this moment, my goodness it’s really Robert Sugden!” The interviewer, Joan, said. “First off I just want to say a huge congratulations on your performance last night, I don’t think there was a single person not in tears at that last song.”
“Yeah even I got a little worked up,” Robert said through a quiet laugh.
“You should make that available on Itunes because I know a lot of people that want to buy it,” Joan said, smiling way too much for it being this early. “And your other song, Hold On Forever that you performed will be on your upcoming album, that’s getting released this month,” she said, getting a nod from the younger lad. “Now I think we’re all a bit curious, what’s that name of this album? You’ve been keeping it a secret for quite some time now.”
Robert hummed, a small smile coming to him as he flickered his eyes up to the side of the stage, immediately finding Aaron’s. “It’s called Coming Home and it’ll be out on January 25th.”
“Interesting title, any reason in particular you chose it?”
“Yeah, while I started writing the songs to go on this album I uhm, well I came back to the person that makes me feel like I’m at home,” he said sheepishly.
There were some “awws” from the audience and even from where Robert was sitting he could see Aaron’s face reddening.
“I always knew you were a romantic,” Joan said teasingly.
“Well have you listened to my first album?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, that being one love song after another. “Most of my songs are actually about the same person, and they kind of follow our relationship,” he said quietly.
“And would this be that person? Aaron right?”
Robert looked to the screen where a picture of him and Aaron kissing last night on stage popped up. “Uhm yeah…” he said, feeling his cheeks heat up.
“We haven’t heard any confirmations yet but there are some rumors you guys are dating,” Joan said silently asking something.
Robert bit his lip as he glanced at Aaron. They weren’t necessarily dating yet, but it would be easier to confirm it now than create confusion and saying they weren’t. “Yeah, we’re seeing each other,” he said through a small smile.
“And he has a son,” Joan said, a picture of Holden, Aaron and Robert coming onto the screen next.
Robert let out a deep breath, knowing what was coming next. He knew Clara had set up these particular questions and that it was like a script. All he had to do was follow it.
“Now we know you and Aaron used to date years back, but he didn’t have a son then,” Joan said slowly. “And I know there have also been a few rumors going around about him and who his father may be, have you heard these before?”
Robert cleared his throat as he sat up a bit straighter in his chair and nodded. “Uhm yes I have,” he said quietly, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.
“And?” Joan asked with raised eyebrows.
“The rumors are true,” he said, his eyes moving to Aaron, the older lad holding Holden tightly. “Holden is uhm, he’s mine and Aaron’s son.”
The room seemed like it froze, everyone dead silent as Joan looked at him softly and nodded. And already Robert knew articles were being written, magazines coming out with their latest exclusive and gossip chDianels would be spreading this like wildfire.
They talked about Holden and Aaron until it was time for him to go up and perform his songs.
Robert tried to explain all the miscommunication without saying certain details. He made it out like it was all his fault for not being there because he couldn’t let anyone say anything bad about Aaron, he wouldn’t let that happen. And he talked about what him and his two favorite boys have been up to these past couple months. How they completely changed his life and he wouldn’t want it any other way. And by the time he was done telling stories about pumpkin carving, sleepovers and everything in between he had to perform his songs.
He played one after the other, his eye catching Aaron’s every now and then, and it was impossible to miss the older lad’s small smile.
By now the room wasn’t nearly as tense and both Robert and Aaron thought maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, maybe people wouldn’t be judging them or printing out false stories about them.
“Now this next song I have is actually my single, you all get to hear it here first!” Robert said, earning a Loud cheer from the audience. “I wrote this for a very important person, one of my favorite people actually,” he said through a quiet laugh. “This is One Call Away and Holden this is for you buddy.”
Robert looked over at Holden, the toddler immediately perking up as he heard his name and saw his papa sitting at the piano. The entire time he played his father was looking at him, singing to him with a wide smile on his face. And when Robert was done with that one he almost wanted to run to the side of the stage, seeing Holden wiping away his tears that fell down his cheeks. But he couldn’t, he still had one more song.
For the first time in over four years he played Leave Your Lover, and the crowd went absolutely crazy just at hearing the first couple notes. But when the song was over not only was Holden crying, but now Aaron was too. And Robert always said, since his very first stadium show that if he could make at least two people cry then it was a show well done.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Just A Little Bit Of Your HeartAriana Grande3:57
Don’t Let Me GoRobert Sugden3:50
The OneKodaline4:01
All I WantKodaline4:57
The OneSam Smith3:08
Make It To MeSam Smith3:09
Lay Me DownSam Smith4:01
I Was Made for Loving YouTory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran3:07
FaithfullyBoyce Avenue Cover4:49
Auld Lang SyneLea Michele3:29
This is the New YearA Great Big World3:17
Hold On ForeverRob Thomas3:35
One Call AwayCharlie Puth3:28
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Congratulations on finishing this monster of a chapter !! Sorry if it's awful and I'm so so sorry it was a late update, but clearly this is longer than most chapters so that's why it took so long :/ Anyway, thoughts on the chapter ?? Ask on my tumblr when I'll be updating, I always answer. Comments are more than loved and kudos are also cool, thanks !!
Chapter 11
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Cut! Cut!!” Aaron yelled, the kids on the stage freezing where they were. “You guys, c’mon,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying desperately to calm down. “We’ve been over this so many times, the cues never change, the lines are the same. I don’t know why this one scene is so difficult.”
“Mate,” Adam said, putting his arm down and setting his baton on the music stand in front of him. “The amount of time it takes Sara to go down the stairs is too long before she has to sing, it throws everything off. My guys are playing before she even gets a quarter of the way down, and we can only play that riff for so long before it gets old,” he said, glancing at his orchestra kids in the pit in front of him.
Aaron let out a deep breath as he nodded, noticing that himself. “Sara why is it taking a while to get down the stairs? Are you nervous about falling? Are they wobbly?”
“Uhm… Both,” Sara said quietly. “I mean I’ll be wearing heels in the actual performance and whenever I walk down them they move.”
“Fine, we’ll take 45 minutes for dinner then and I’ll fix the stairs,” Aaron said, already heading towards the stage stairs and climbing up them.
The kids let out grateful breaths of relief, having been rehearsing non stop since school was let out. But this is what they get with the musical being just five days away, a little something Aaron likes to call hell week. And for him it was definitely pure hell.
Something was always breaking or lost, a person went missing when they’re scene came on, or someone missed a cue, be it the stage crew or actors. The only thing that went perfectly was the orchestra and that was because of Adam. Aaron was sure that without the Irish lad he would be a right mess and pulling his hair out by now.
“Hey Aaron, you got it?” Adam asked as he walked up to the older lad, him trying to drill a few more screws into the staircase.
“Yeah,” Aaron breathed out, drilling one more screw into the staircase before making sure the entire thing was stable. “I swear this show is going to be a disaster, I can feel it.”
“Oh stop that,” Adam said as he rolled his eyes. “Everything is going perfectly, you’re just overreacting.”
Alright, fine, maybe Aaron got exceptionally stressed this time of year, but he had the right to. This was his show, he was in charge of everything and if it went bad it reflected on him. Every year it was the same thing, but Aaron swears every year he gets worse and worse with nerves, trying to put out the best show possible. His very first year he just wanted to put on a show, but now he had a reputation to uphold.
“Are you not having dinner?” Aaron asked, wanting to get off the subject.
“Yeah, of course, but I was waiting for you,” Adam said, offering the older lad a hand up.
Aaron flashed the younger lad a small smile before looking out towards the seats in the auditorium, the kids already settled and eating their dinners. “Well I was in a rush this morning and didn’t have time to pack anything. I think I have some crisps in my bag though.”
“Aaron that’s not a dinner,” Adam muttered as they walked down the stage stairs. “I’ll give you some of mine, you can’t go all day not eating.”
Aaron shook his head, just about to say something before one of the students stopped him.
“Hey Mr.Dingle you recognize this?”
Aaron looked over to Michael as he took a seat in one of the front row cushioned chairs next to Adam. But he nearly groaned as he heard the teenager plucking away at a guitar and singing one of the new songs off of Robert’s album.
The younger lad’s full album wasn’t out for another week, but he’s already released a few songs and the one Michael was playing was one of them. And of course all of his students just had to give him grief about every single song because there was no doubt that they were about him.
“You’re just a little flat there mate.”
Every single head in the auditorium turned to the back of the room, half of them gasping, some others screaming and Aaron smiling widely at the sight of the curly haired lad.
“Not too bad though, just use that diaphragm a bit more and you’ll be perfect,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he walked down the aisle.
Aaron glanced over to Michael, the teenager’s jaw dropped and eyes wide as he saw Robert. But what he wasn’t expecting was for the younger lad to actually walk up to Michael and take the guitar from him.
“Here, I’ll show ya how it’s done,” Robert said, slinging the strap over his shoulder and looking over to Aaron.
And just from that face Aaron knew where this was going, it not even being a second later Robert was picking at the guitar, starting the same song Michael was playing before walking towards him. (A/N I Want To Write You A Song by One Direction. Sorry, there aren't any good links to it !!)
“Robert,” he warned, but just as he said it the younger lad started singing, coming even closer to him.
The kids and even Adam were in a laughing fit as they watched Aaron get up from his seat and try to walk away from the curly haired lad. But Robert followed right after him, singing his song and making the older lad blush more and more with each second that passed.
Some of the students were even singing along, unable to contain themselves as they watched their teacher walk all over the auditorium, trying to get away from Robert who stayed right on his tail, unable wipe the smile off his face.
And when Aaron saw some of the kids recording them he desperately wanted to groan, but instead just felt his face heat up even more, no doubt in his mind that at this point he was bright red. Robert was following right after him, singing one of his songs that was too cute for words and there was absolutely nothing Aaron could do to stop any of this.
When it did stop though all the kids clapped and cheered, making Robert bow and Aaron slap his arm.
“I just serenaded you, there is no reason for you to hit me,” Robert said, his dimples popping out as he handed the guitar back to Michael.
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully, noticing the not so subtle looks of everyone in the room watching them. “What are you even doing here?”
“Well hi to you too love,” Robert laughed before pecking the older lad’s cheek quickly. “I was just coming back from the gym and I remembered you didn’t pack a dinner before you left the house this morning and I wanted to bring you some food.”
“You live together?!” Michael asked wide eyed.
“No.”
“Basically.”
Aaron narrowed his eyes at Robert, the younger lad shrugging because it was pretty much true. There was never a time they weren’t sleeping at each other’s places, it being like this since they came back from New York City two weeks ago. And when the kids looked over to Adam, silently asking which was true Aaron couldn’t help but grumble to himself as he saw the Irish lad nodding and snickering.
“We don’t live together!” Aaron groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “Mr.Sugden has his place and I have mine and that’s that. I shouldn’t even being talking about this with you guys.”
“Mr.Dingle he’s your boyfriend, just say Robert. That mister stuff is weird.”
Aaron looked over to Sara, clenching his jaw as this really shouldn’t be something his students should be invested in. They weren’t even dating, they haven’t even been on a date yet because of how busy they’ve both been, Robert with his album coming out and the musical right around the corner. There was no time for dates, Aaron not even able to remember the last time he went anywhere besides his house, Robert’s flat or the high school.
“Here, I just came to drop this off,” Robert said quietly, the older lad clearly stressed.
Aaron nibbled on his bottom lip as he saw the container Robert was passing him before the younger lad picked up his gym bag. “R I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I really do appreciate this, you have no idea. I just… I feel like any second I’m gonna explode with how much I still have to do.”
“I know love, it’s okay,” Robert said softly, pulling Aaron into his chest before kissing his hair. “When you’re done here come back to mine and we’ll have some tea, maybe sneak some snacks from Holden’s treat cabinet and I’ll rub your back. Sound good?”
Aaron hummed into Robert’s neck, wishing they could do that right now. And with Holden sleeping at Ross’s tonight they were guaranteed some quiet time. Aaron doesn’t think he’s ever been so grateful for Ross asking to take the toddler, complaining that he hasn’t seen enough of him lately.
“I’ll be over in about two hours, okay?” he asked quietly, slightly pulling away from the younger lad and running a gentle hand down his chest. “And make sure you shower, you reek of sweat.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he saw Aaron laughing. “You don’t want me to wait till you come over to shower?” he whispered in his ear. “I’ve been working on my endurance at the gym… Maybe put that to use tonight?”
Aaron stilled for a second, swallowing thickly and carefully looking around, thankfully none of his students were paying any attention to them. “Uhm yeah, yeah wait for me,” he barely breathed out, earning a small smirk from the younger lad. “Make that an hour actually, I’ll cut rehearsal short.”
“Mr.Dingle that’s not very professional of you,” Robert teased, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around him.
At this point Aaron couldn’t care about professionalism, all he wanted to do was go to Robert’s flat and have the younger lad get him off so hard he forgot his own name. “I’ll see you in an hour, make sure you have that lavender lotion I like.”
“Already have it waiting on the bathroom counter,” Robert hummed.
Aaron almost wanted to groan at that. Maybe he’d just tell everyone to go home now so he could leave with Robert, but then he remembered he has a show in five days. So instead he stood on his toes and kissed the younger lad quickly, whispering one more goodbye before he watched him leave the auditorium.
And as soon as Robert left did he call for everyone to get back into place and quickly ate the food the younger lad got him.
He watched the kids run through the rest of the musical, pointing out small details here and there, but after an hour he called it a night.
Aaron didn’t even say goodbye as he pulled his jacket on and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, his only thoughts being that Robert was waiting for him with a shower and a bottle of lotion.
*~*
Robert had to keep in a laugh as he heard the older lad under him. Aaron’s hair was matted to his head and he was blissed out from the blowjob he got in the shower, but like every time Robert rubs his back he was moaning as his hands worked over his tense muscles. He’s been rubbing Aaron’s back nearly every night for the past week because of how stressed he’s been and every night there are new knots Robert has to work out.
“I swear opening night I’m going to be a right mess,” Aaron mumbled into the pillow, his eyes shut and breathing coming out slow as Robert worked his fingers over him. “Maybe during intermission I’ll steal you and make you do this so I don’t pull my hair out.”
Robert slowed his hands for a second, sitting back on Aaron’s bum and letting out a deep breath. “Babe listen I uhm… I have to talk to you about that,” he said quietly.
Aaron picked his head off the pillow and furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to look at the younger lad. “What? Opening night?”
“Yeah...” Robert said, biting his lip and letting out a quiet breath. “I have to go to LA for an award show tomorrow…”
Aaron froze for a second, his mouth opening and closing before he shook his head angrily and pushed on Robert, wanting him to get off him.
“Aaron I swear I’ve been trying to get out of it for weeks, they just told me today that I have to go because I already missed the AMA’s,” Robert said, settling next to the older lad and looking at him softly.
“Robert I don’t care if you’ve been trying to get out of it for weeks, this isn’t okay,” Aaron said, straining not to raise his voice. “You do realize the reason we broke up was because we didn’t talk to each other and look, you’re doing it all over again.”
“Well I just thought I wouldn’t actually have to go, I didn’t think-”
“Robert it doesn’t matter!” Aaron said frustratedly. “If you go or don’t go you should tell me! You can’t just spring shit like this on me, even when we were dating you knew this!!”
Robert bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, him clearly more than mad but trying to calm down. And he knew he messed up, but he was almost 100% sure that he wouldn’t have to go. That was until Clara called him just before Aaron got to his place and told him he had to make an appearance and do promo for his album.
“How long will you be gone?” Aaron breathed out as he rubbed his hands over his face.
Robert looked down to his lap, scratching the back of his neck and trying to figure out how to say this so Aaron wouldn’t get even more upset with him. But there was no way that the older lad wouldn’t with what he was going to tell him.
Aaron shook his head as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up, immediately looking for his pants that were somewhere on the floor.
“What are you doing?” Robert asked quietly, pushing himself off the bed and reaching for Aaron’s arm to stop him.
“You don’t want to talk to me, fine, I’m going home,” he said, pulling his arm out of Robert’s grasp and pulling his jeans on.
“Aaron please stop,” Robert nearly begged as he saw the older lad looking for his shirt. “I get that you’re upset about me not being able to go to opening night and-”
“Robert it’s not that!” Aaron snapped. “It’s that you didn’t talk to me about it!! I’m not doing the same shit twice!!” he yelled.
“Yeah but you walking out the door isn’t helping anyone either,” Robert muttered.
Aaron looked up at the younger lad and he can’t remember the last time he wanted to hit him so bad. “Then talk to me,” he said through gritted teeth.
“A week,” Robert said, shifting his gaze to the floor. “I’ll be gone a week for the show and then interviews.”
Aaron kept his eyes on Robert, just watching him for a moment and trying to figure out why the younger lad thought it would be okay to not tell him about this.
“Aaron I found out minutes before you got here, I swear,” Robert said quietly. “It’s not like I wasn’t telling you for a reason, I just thought I didn’t have to go.”
“Well you should’ve said something when they first brought it up to you,” Aaron breathed out as he crossed his arms over his chest. “If we want us to work we need to talk to each other. You’re a lot more famous than when we were dating and we have Holden now… Things are more complicated and if we keep doing this over and over again we’ll fall apart, but it’ll be so much worse this time…”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded to himself, knowing that Aaron was more than terrified that they would self destruct like last time. And he couldn’t keep letting the older lad live in this fear, wouldn’t let them mess this up all over again.
“I really am sorry Aaron,” he said softly. “I swear, from now on even if there’s a possibility of me going somewhere I’ll tell you.”
Aaron shifted his weight on his feet, his eyes locked on the ground as he nodded to himself. And he only picked his head up when he felt Robert’s hand on him, his fingers molding to the curve of his waist and squeezing gently.
“Please stay tonight,” Robert barely whispered. “I don’t want to leave with you still upset with me, just stay and we can talk.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway as he walked over to the bed and took a seat on it. “What time do you leave tomorrow?” he asked, trying to figure out what to say to Holden about Robert leaving for a little bit, knowing the toddler would be more than upset about it.
“At 3pm,” Robert said quietly, taking a seat next to the older lad. “I wanted to at least be able to spend some time with Holden.”
Aaron rubbed his hands over his face, hating that all of this at once was getting thrown at him. But they still talked about how tomorrow would go, what Robert would do with Holden and when Aaron could see him before he goes. There was just enough time between school and rehearsal that Aaron could actually see Robert off at the airport, but it was the fact that he was leaving at all that was hard.
And they talked and talked until even Aaron was tired of talking. So by the time they had everything cleared up and a plan made Aaron was snoring into Robert’s neck, the younger lad’s head resting on his as they laid on the bed and holding each other like any second one of them was going to leave. But that’s the thing, Robert was leaving and Aaron knew it was only a matter of time before he started touring, before more interviews came up and he’d be gone longer. The only thought that calmed him down though was that Robert would always be coming back, no matter what.
*~*
Aaron held onto Holden tightly, the 3 year old gripping his neck and resting his head on his shoulder as camera flashes went off all around them. Robert’s arm was firm around his waist, his head down and hand up to shield them from the rapid lights, but it seemed as though nothing helped.
He could hear Holden let out a quiet whimper as he hid his face further into his neck and the only thing Aaron wanted to do was get out of there. They were already moving as fast as they could and he could see it now, where security was set up and no one but them were allowed through.
“It’s okay buddy, almost there,” Aaron said quietly, pressing a kiss to Holden’s head and rubbing his back.
He knew with the news about Robert being Holden’s father broke out paps and every media outlet was trying to find them. This is the first time they’ve actually really been out since that interview and it was clear just how desperately people wanted to talk to Robert.
They were screaming questions, following after them with cameras and trying to get them to say something, just anything. But Robert’s bodyguards were pushing back on them, making sure they couldn’t come close and only once they were actually inside the airport did it all stop.
“C’mere big guy, it’s okay,” Robert said softly, reaching for Holden and the toddler immediately wrapping his arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry buddy, but it’s over alright?” he asked, kissing the 3 year old’s head over and over again. “You did so good, you were such a big boy.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he looked at the two, Robert rubbing Holden’s back before shifting his gaze to him, mouthing a quiet “are you okay?” and earning a nod from the older lad.
“Robert we need to keep moving.”
Robert nodded at his bodyguard, shifting his bag on his shoulder and adjusting Holden on his hip before taking Aaron’s hand and following after his security. He kept Aaron close and Holden closer, holding onto the two of them for dear life as they walked through the airport.
“Papa no go,” Holden whispered into his neck.
Robert bit his lip as he looked down at the 3 year old, Holden’s big green eyes focused right back at him. “Papa doesn’t want to go buddy, but it’s only for a little bit, I’ll be right back.”
“No go,” Holden mumbled again, his lip quivering as he wrapped his arms around his papa impossibly tighter.
Robert felt his heart break as he heard Holden and felt tears on his neck, and all he could do was pull him closer to his chest, kiss his head and promise that everything will be okay, that he’ll be back before he knows it.
When they got to where they had to say goodbye Robert didn’t waste a second before dropping his bag off his shoulder and wrapping both arms around the toddler, only to feel Holden crying against him.
“Buddy please,” he nearly begged, blinking back his own tears. “Please don’t cry, it’s okay.”
“No okay!” Holden cried into his neck. “You go bye bye and I miss you, n-no okay.”
Robert shushed Holden, rubbing his back and kissing his head over and over again as he kneeled down and placed him on the ground. Even when he did that though the toddler refused to let go of him, crying into his neck and hiccuping against him.
“C’mere, look at this,” Robert said softly, just barely pulling away from the 3 year old and reaching into his pocket. “You see this?” he asked, showing Holden the pocket watch him and Aaron gave him for Christmas.
Holden wiped his wet eyes, one little hand still holding on tightly to his papa’s shirt so he wouldn’t go anywhere as he nodded to himself. “Give papa for Christmas,” he sniffled out.
“That’s right and it’s gonna stay on London time so no matter where I am in the world I can look at it and know what you’re doing,” Robert said gently, wiping away Holden’s tears that refused to stop falling. “Whether you’re sleeping or eating dinner or at daycare playing, I can look at this and know. You’ll always be with me buddy, and I’ll always be coming back.”
Holden let out a few hiccups, trying to calm down as he looked at his papa’s watch. “Me and daddy always there,” he said quietly, pointing at the picture in the watch.
“Exactly,” Robert said, wrapping his arms back around Holden and kissing his head. “And you can call me anytime, I’ll always answer, okay?”
The toddler nodded against him as he hugged him back and sniffled into his neck. “I love you papa,” he barely whispered.
Robert felt his throat tighten as he heard that, his eyes squeezing shut and a few tears escaping him. He pulled Holden impossibly closer to him, trying not to start sobbing as that was the first time the 3 year old has ever said that to him, and he would be lying if his heart wasn’t swelling at those words.
“I love you too buddy,” he managed out, trying to hold back his tears. “I love you so much, I’ll be back soon, okay?”
“O-okay,” Holden nodded against him, pulling away slightly just to kiss his papa’s cheek and wrap his arms back around his neck. “I call you later, it okay.”
Robert wished he could hold onto him forever, that he could pack Holden up and take him with him wherever he goes. He knew he couldn’t though, knew that soon his bodyguards were going to say he had to hurry it up and that he had to go, but there was still one more person he had to say goodbye to.
Robert gently released Holden, giving him one more kiss before standing up and looking to Aaron.
The older lad was already watching him, his own eyes pooling with tears and biting his lip so they wouldn’t fall. And Robert could see it, could see how hard he was trying not to break down, to keep himself together.
“Aaron,” he said softly, the older lad immediately shaking his head and looking away from him so he wouldn’t cry.
And Robert remembers this so well, remembers how hard goodbyes were, how every single time there were tears, how his heart broke at the sight of Aaron when he had to walk away from him.
“Love,” Robert said quietly, taking a step towards the older lad and gently cupping his cheek, Holden’s little arms wrapped around his leg and refusing to let go. “Just a week, please, it’s okay,” he whispered, Aaron still looking away from him but Robert could see a tear rolling down his cheek.
“Robert we need to-”
“Just a minute,” Robert stopped his bodyguard, not going anywhere until he talked to Aaron. “Love please,” he nearly begged. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he said, pulling the older lad into his chest and immediately feeling Aaron’s arms wrap around him, his head on his shoulder and tears on his neck.
“Y-you know how much I hate you right?”
Robert tried to hold back a smile as he heard the older lad, squeezing him and burying his nose in Aaron’s hair. “You tell me at least once a day, of course I know.”
“Good,” Aaron said as he sniffled to himself. “I’m… Well I’m really gonna miss you,” he said quietly, just barely pulling away and looking up at the younger lad.
Robert bit his lip as he wiped away Aaron’s tears with his thumb, trying to hold himself together but feeling like any second he was going to crack. “I’ll miss you too,” he barely whispered. “Just a week, okay?” he said, pressing his lips against the older lad’s temple and pulling him back into his chest. “We’ve done much longer, we can do a week.”
Aaron almost wanted to roll his eyes as he heard that, but instead nodded against Robert’s chest and looked up at him, tipping his head up and silently asking the younger lad for something. And it wasn’t even a second later Robert was kissing him, his lips heavy against his own and fingers running through his hair it made Aaron want to melt.
It was this he was going to miss, what he always used to miss when Robert went away. Being in his arms, feeling his lips against his own and having those heart skipping a beat moments. But it was only going to be a week, and Aaron was sure that he could do this.
And it was only when one of Robert’s bodyguards cleared their throat did the two release each other. Their lips sore and breaths coming out shaky as they rested their foreheads together and Robert pecked his lips one more time.
“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” he said quietly, gently running his fingers through the older lad’s hair.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, slowly unwrapping his arms from Robert and reaching for Holden, the toddler still clinging to the younger lad’s leg. “No matter the time I’ll pick up.”
“And same goes for me,” Robert said softly. “Don’t even look at the clock, just call me.”
Aaron just nodded again, rubbing Holden’s back as he felt him hiccupping against his leg and rubbing his nose on his jeans.
He saw how sadly Robert was looking at him, how he was fighting himself to move from his spot, but when his bodyguard reached for his arm the younger lad was forced to move. The bulky men had already grabbed his bags and were clearly desperate to get going, and even when they started walking Robert away he didn’t turn around.
The younger lad kept his eyes on the two Dingles, his tears slipping from him and deep breaths coming out as he refused to break his gaze. And both Aaron and Holden watched him walk away, the toddler waving at his papa and trying to hold back his own tears as he felt his daddy pick him up and hug him.
Robert only turned around when his bodyguards made him, his gaze shifting over his shoulder to them almost every other second until he saw them wave a final goodbye before he turned a corner and couldn’t see them anymore.
It wasn’t even the start of day one without them, and already Robert was missing the two more than anything. So he didn’t know how the next hour would go, let alone the next week.
*~*
Aaron ran a tired hand over his face, his head pounding and his hand was hurting from how much he’s been writing but this is just what comes along during hell week. The musical takes over his life, he gets behind in grading and no matter how much sleep he gets he wakes up exhausted. And now that Robert isn’t here his back is aching, and there was no faking that he missed the younger lad. Even his students at this point had picked up his slight moodiness, but it’s only been four days and it feels like it’s been a lifetime.
It was only a second later though Aaron perked his head up, his phone ringing from his pocket and of course as he pulled it out it was impossible to stop his smile at seeing Robert’s name flash across the screen.
“Right on time,” he chuckled into the phone, the younger lad’s quiet laugh coming from the speaker and God would Aaron do anything just hear that laugh in person again.
“Well it’s bedtime isn’t it? Can’t be late for that.”
Aaron glanced over at the clock his eyes nearly going wide as he saw what time it was and that Holden wasn’t even pajamas yet. “I swear if you didn’t remind me I would’ve forgotten,” he said, pushing himself off the couch and heading up the stairs to the play room.
As soon as Holden saw he was on the phone he nearly threw Rob off his lap and lunged at him, trying to take the phone from him so he could talk to his papa. But his daddy said he had to get his pajamas on and brush his teeth first, and Aaron swears he’s never seen his son run to his room to get ready for bed so fast.
“How has today been? Any better?” Robert asked quietly.
“Oh of course not, what a crazy question,” Aaron said through a stressed filled laugh, running his hand over his face. “I swear everything I fix for the musical just breaks again, and Holden is… Well it’s more than obvious he misses you if his mood is anything to go by.”
He could hear the younger lad letting out a deep breath on the other side of the phone, it being no secret how awful he felt about the toddler’s mood change since he’s been gone.
“I want to come home,” Robert barely whispered.
“I know you do R,” Aaron said softly. “Just three more days, yeah? We’re already more than halfway there, it’s okay.”
There was a beat of silence on the phone, Robert swallowing thickly and Aaron biting his lip, not sure what to say. But they didn’t have to say anything to know what the other was thinking, how they were feeling.
“Daddy phone!!” Holden said, running back towards his father dressed in his pajamas and teeth brushed.
“Get in bed and I’ll give you the phone,” Aaron said softly, leading his son across the hall and helping him in bed.
Holden jumped into his bed and as soon as his daddy put his phone on speaker he took it from him. “Papa!!”
“Hey buddy,” Robert said gently into the phone. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to hear your voice,” he said through a quiet laugh.
“Papa I miss you,” Holden said as he bit his lip. “It too many days and no see you.”
“I know big guy, I… I really really miss you too,” Robert said, sounding like he was doing everything in his power to keep himself together.
“So come home.”
And Aaron could see it, could see Holden a second away from crying, much like he does nearly every night since Robert’s been gone. More than anything he wished he could help him, wish he could make this easier, and Aaron only wondered how much harder it will be when Robert will be gone for much longer. When it’s not just a week, but a month.
“R I wish I could but-”
“Papa y-you can,” Holden said quietly as he wiped his wet eyes with his little hand. “You go on big plane and come home and tuck i-in bed,” he sniffled to himself. “You promise you always tuck in bed but you no here and y-you no keep promise.”
“C’mere big guy,” Aaron said softly, pulling his son into his chest and feeling the toddler’s tears on his neck.
And if that wasn’t it there was no denying Robert was crying on the other end, the younger lad sniffling to himself and letting out shaky breaths.
“R papa is just tucking you in a different way,” Aaron said, rubbing the 3 year old’s back gently. “He’s still saying goodnight to you and telling you how much he loves you, it’s okay buddy.”
“N-no okay,” Holden hiccupped into his daddy’s neck. “Want papa home.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he kissed and hugged Holden, trying to do anything to calm him down. And he only wished he could jump through the phone to do the same thing for Robert, wished he didn’t feel his own tears pooling in eyes at the sound of the two crying.
“R I’m sorry,” Robert’s muffled voice came through the phone. “I’ll be there soon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Aaron could feel Holden sniffling against him, wiping his eyes and trying to stop his tears as he looked back to the phone.
The toddler told Robert how much he loved him, how much he missed him, and when Robert told Holden the exact same thing they all said their final goodnights.
Aaron kissed Holden’s head and picked him up from his bed, carrying him to his own room before laying the 3 year old on his bed and laying down with him. The toddler hiccupped himself to sleep as he laid on his daddy’s chest and all Aaron could do was hold him and promise him that Robert was coming back, that soon his papa would be back home.
*~*
Aaron bit his lip nervously as he watched from the side of the stage, silently pacing and his heart pounding faster and faster with each second that passed.
So far things were going well, great really, but something could change within a second and that’s what Aaron was waiting for.
Everything has been timed perfectly, the kids were hitting their notes and sounded amazing, Adam and the orchestra were perfect of course, but something still felt missing. And it didn’t take Aaron much thinking to know that it was Robert.
He wished the younger lad was here for opening night, that he was sitting with Holden and Ross in the audience, that he could see how much work he and Adam have put into this. But there was someone in the back of the auditorium recording the entire thing so he would have to show the dvd to Robert instead.
By the time intermission hit the kids were all on a high from the show and Aaron was doing everything to keep them focused. He was more than happy for them of course, and he told them how amazing they were doing, but they needed to stay grounded.
“Hey mate, you doin good?” Adam asked as he came up to the older lad.
“Just trying to remind myself to breathe, but yeah, I’m great,” Aaron said through an airy laugh, reaching for a cup of water on the snack table and chugging it.
Adam hummed as he smiled amusedly at him and shook his head. “C’mon mate, everything is going more than perfect, the kids are doing great, so what has you all worked up?”
“Usual nerves,” Aaron shrugged.
“And…?”
Aaron bit the inside of his cheek as he looked to his shoes and shrugged again. “I dunno, I guess I just wished Robert was here,” he said quietly. “I really miss him and… I dunno,” he said shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts.
Adam nodded, letting out a quiet breath before gently clapping the older lad on the back. “Trust me mate, he’s closer than you think.”
“What?” Aaron asked him confused, but before he could get an answer the Irish lad said it was time to get back on stage.
The kids were all rushing around him, doing a quick soundcheck before going back to the side of the stage to start the second act, but Aaron was still stuck. He had no clue what Adam meant, that Robert was closer than he thinks, but it was too late to ask him again because the younger lad was already back in the pit with the orchestra.
So the only thing Aaron could do was head back to his spot at the side of the stage and cue everyone when to start. But even when the kids were back on stage and continuing on with show he was trying to figure out what Adam had said.
Aaron couldn’t focus on that though, he still had a second half of a show to get through. The kids still did amazing, remembering everything he’s told them and the overall performance was the best they’ve ever done. Aaron didn’t think he could be any more proud at the final product, and only when the final bows were being taken did he breathe, a show finished that was more than well done. But then of course it was his turn to go on stage to take his bow and his heart rate picked right back up.
He put on a nervous smile and ran a hand over his button down before taking his steps onto the stage, seeing the audience on their feet, clapping and cheering as he came out. And as he took his bow he could feel his cheeks heating up at everyone clapping, and when he stood up he could see Holden and Ross in the front row, waving happily at him and getting thumbs up from the two, the 3 year old screaming his head off for his daddy. But that was just before there was a deafening cheer and Holden began yelling even more and pointing excitedly to something on stage.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he saw the toddler, but when he looked to where Holden was pointing he felt his breath hitch, stumbling backwards and tears pooling in his eyes at the sight of Robert with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
“Hi love,” Robert said softly before smiling at the older lad and taking a careful step towards him, only for Aaron to nearly lunge at him and wrap his arms around his neck tightly.
Aaron didn’t even care he was crying, didn’t care if he was hugging Robert in front of all of his students and their parents because he was actually here, he was home.
Robert tucked his head into Aaron’s neck, a deep breath escaping him as he pulled him impossibly closer to his chest and trying not to cry at just having the older lad back in his arms.
“You did so good love, it was amazing,” he mumbled against him, placing a quick kiss onto Aaron’s neck and rubbing his back with his free hand.
“I hate surprises,” Aaron sniffled to himself, just barely pulling away from Robert and just looking at him, taking him and realizing he was really there. “But God I missed you,” he said tucking his head back into the younger lad’s neck.
“I missed you too,” Robert barely breathed out, not actually believing Aaron was back in his arms. “And I really really want to kiss you so can we please get off stage?” he asked through a quiet laugh.
Aaron let out an airy chuckle as he nodded against the younger lad, hearing the audience still clapping before releasing Robert, taking one more bow and heading off to the side of the stage. And he wasn’t sure if he was out of sight of the audience for a second before he felt Robert on him, his arms wrapped around his waist and heavy lips pressed against his. But Aaron didn’t waste a second before kissing him back, his fingers brushing through his curls and hand cupping his jaw as their lips moved together. And God did Aaron miss this more than anything, just feeling the younger lad against him, Robert holding onto him like a lifeline and kissing him like they had seconds left to live.
“Damn Mr.Dingle.”
Aaron quickly pulled away from Robert, his head snapping to where Michael was snickering and basically all of his students were smirking at him. “You uhm, all of you did great, now uh, you can go.”
He could feel Robert laughing into his neck but at least the kids listened to him, all of them laughing as they went to go talk to their family and friends in the hall about the performance.
“Here,” Robert said softly, slightly pulling away from him. “I got you these,” he passed Aaron the bouquet of lilacs.
Aaron took the flowers from the younger lad, trying desperately to keep himself together at the thought that Robert was actually here, that he came home for opening night. “What about the award show? I thought-”
“I was there,” Robert shook his head, biting his lip and trying to keep in a laugh. “I was in this beyond expensive suit and eating fancy food and answering the same boring questions I have a million times before and I hated it, I had to come home,” he said, wrapping his arms back around Aaron’s waist. “I couldn’t miss opening night of Cinderella now could I?”
Aaron ducked his head as he bit his lip, never actually telling Robert what the musical was, and wasn’t going to until he saw it. “I guess you couldn't,” he said quietly through a small smile.
Robert hummed, running his hands down the older lad’s sides as he dipped his head, but just before he could brush his lips against Aaron’s he heard a Loud shriek.
“Papa!!”
He couldn’t even react before a little body attacked him, Holden wrapping his arms around his legs and clinging to him.
“Oh my boy did I miss you,” Robert said, scooping the toddler up, squeezing him into his chest and kissing him all over his face. “If I ever go anywhere again I’m taking you with me. Five days is way too long to not see my favorite guy.”
“I miss you papa,” Holden said into his neck, hugging him tightly and making sure he was never going anywhere ever again. “I keep you forever.”
Robert couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he rubbed Holden’s back and kissed his feathery hair. If he had it his way he would stay forever. He wouldn’t travel anymore, wouldn’t be without his son and Aaron for a day, but not all things work in his favor like that.
But at least for now he had Holden in his arms and Aaron tucked into his side.
The older lad having to go around and talk to parents, but Robert followed right after him, Holden staying attached to his hip as they went along.
He talked to Ross and Adam as Aaron talked to everyone else about the show, everyone congratulating him and it was hard for Robert to hide just how proud he was of the older lad. He of course had some people’s attention, asking for pictures or autographs, and with Holden’s permission he obliged.
Robert had caught Pete and some girl with him in the back of the crowd, carefully getting Aaron’s attention and waving him over. He looked to the older lad, Aaron nodding at him before telling him to stay with Holden before going over to Pete and talking to him for a bit.
Aaron was surprised by Pete and Sophia’s appearance, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little happy they both came to opening night. Pete actually sounded like he cared when they talked about Robert, when asking how he was adjusting to being a father. And from what Aaron told him the younger lad was happy with how Robert was taking to everything, how he was being such a presence in the toddler’s life.
When he made his way back to Robert after talking to the pair for a bit, it really felt like things between them were getting better, and maybe soon Aaron thought all of them could get together and really make amends.
It wasn’t until Aaron had talked to basically everyone when they said their goodbyes to Ross and Adam and heading home.
Robert followed right after Aaron’s car as he drove to his house, the younger lad more than excited to just be home, even if it wasn’t to his flat. Aaron’s house was basically his house as well at this point.
After what felt like forever he was able to help Holden get ready for bed, read from his favorite book, tuck him in and kiss him goodnight.
And for the first time since Robert left, Aaron saw the toddler falling asleep with a smile on his face. But he wouldn’t be the only one, because as soon as they were out of the toddler’s room Robert was on him, pushing him down the hall towards his bedroom, already undoing the buttons of his shirt and shoving it off his shoulders.
So by the time Aaron was heavily breathing against Robert’s sweaty chest, coming down from his rush and catching up with younger lad in more ways than one he too felt himself fall asleep, a soft grin coming to him with Robert’s arms wrapped around him and lips brushing over his skin. Finally, after what seemed like forever everyone felt back at home.
*~*
“Daddy papa like this, I know he does,” Holden said, throwing something into the cart.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he picked up whatever Holden had gotten and hummed as he saw the swedish fish. “He does like those buddy, is that gonna be part of your present?”
“Yeah!” Holden said excitedly before grabbing onto his daddy’s two fingers and walking down the aisle with him. “When grandpa and nana come I give to papa.”
“That’s a good plan big guy,” Aaron said, his eyes scanning the shelves for anything else they may need for Robert’s birthday lunch. “You know papa and I are going out tonight and grandpa and nana are going to watch you, that’s okay right?”
“Yes!!” Holden said like that was the dumbest question ever. “Grandpa say he help with trains on phone.”
“Oh yeah?” Aaron asked through a quiet laugh. “I’m sure he’ll help you set it up proper like his.”
Holden hummed happily as he nodded to himself and skipped along as his daddy walked. “When papa come home?”
“He should be home in an hour or two,” Aaron said, double checking he had everything in the cart before heading to the beverage aisle to get a few beers. “He has the radio interview and then the photoshoot so it shouldn’t be too long.”
“But papa so busy all time now,” Holden groaned.
“I know buddy, but it’ll be over soon,” Aaron said softly. “We’re lucky he hasn’t had to travel anywhere, right? With his album out at least he’s been able to stay home and papa made sure of that, so we should be grateful.”
Holden let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway as he felt his daddy rubbing his back. He knows his papa didn’t want to travel anymore but he still missed him during the day when he had to go to work.
“Excuse me, Aaron Dingle, right?”
Aaron looked up and bit his lip as he saw about three teenage girls gawking at him. “Yeah, Robert isn’t here, sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all as he picked Holden up and placed him on his hip.
“Well are you getting stuff for his birthday dinner or something?” one of the girls asked excitedly.
“Yeah, are you planning anything for him? Like a surprise?”
“Me and daddy-”
“No, no, just getting stuff for lunch,” Aaron stopped Holden, wanting to just leave the store and go home before more people showed up. “It was nice meeting you, excuse me,” he said, trying to wheel his cart past them
“How could you not plan something for your boyfriend’s birthday? That’s pretty shitty,” the third girl said, all of them following after him.
“Please don’t use that language near my son,” Aaron breathed out, trying to stay calm and get to the checkout line.
He could feel Holden gripping onto his shirt tighter as the girls followed them around, hiding his head into his neck and trying to ignore them.
“But I mean seriously, you have to be doing something for him.”
Aaron stayed quiet as he stood in line, his arm wrapped firmly around Holden and hoping that if he just didn’t talk to them they would leave. He knew he couldn’t tell them his plans, they would only post something online and ruin it all, and just as the girls were about to walk away something they said caught his ear.
“Told you he was an arse, that’s probably not even Robert’s kid, he’s just using him.”
Aaron’s face fell as he watched them walk away, feeling like his heart plummet into his stomach at those words. But he didn’t do anything besides move forward in line, wrap his arm around Holden a bit tighter and kiss the toddler’s head.
The ride back home was quiet, Holden looking out the window and Aaron feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket over and over again. When he saw it was Robert calling though he ignored it, his eyes focusing back on the road and just trying to get home as soon as possible.
And when he pulled up to the house he saw Robert’s car already in the driveway, and at that sight Holden didn’t waste a second before running towards the door.
“Papa!” he said, startling Rob off his father’s lap before leaping into his arms. “Happy birthday!!”
“Thank you buddy, but you already said it three times to me this morning when we woke up,” Robert said through a chuckle, squeezing the toddler back.
“Well birthday very important and very special,” Holden said seriously.
Robert hummed as he smiled to himself, wondering how many more times Holden will scream happy birthday at him. But then his eyes caught on Aaron, him immediately standing up and taking some of the groceries the older lad had in his hands.
“I tried calling you, you didn’t pick up,” he said quietly, following Aaron into the kitchen.
“I know, I’m sorry I was driving and a little upset,” Aaron breathed out, placing the bags on the counter and began emptying them. “I thought you weren’t done for a couple hours.”
“Well I was on my way to the photoshoot but I saw something and wanted to come home,” Robert said softly, stopping the older lad as he tried organizing everything on the counter. “Babe I know what happened at the store... Are you okay?”
“How do you know?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“One of the girls was recording you and I guess posted it on twitter. It blew up and Clara saw it so she sent it to me, she wanted to make sure you were okay and that I knew.”
Aaron bit his lip as he shifted his eyes back to the groceries and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” he said quietly. “It’s just that Holden was there and they were being rude, I dunno…”
“C’mere,” Robert said gently, pulling Aaron into his chest and kissing his temple. “I’m sorry love… Don’t listen to the shit those people say, they’re just jeaAarons of you, that’s all.”
Aaron almost wanted to snort as he heard that, but instead hugged the younger lad back, just being in his arms already making him feel a bit better. “Sorry about you missing the photoshoot and everything,” he said quietly. “And that it’s your birthday and-”
“Aaron stop,” Robert said through a small laugh. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about,” he said, rubbing circles on the older lad’s back. “Those girls were being awful to you and the photoshoot can wait till never cause I don’t want to do it.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he pulled away from Robert and loosely wrapped his arms around his neck. “You’re a really bad popstar,” he teased.
Robert pinched his side, giving him a fake pointed look before breaking his act, smiling at the older lad and pecking his lips. He may have kissed him a few more times before he was kicked out of the kitchen so Aaron could make lunch. So Robert made his way back into the living room, seeing Holden rolling on the floor with Rob and trying to imitate him. And all Robert could do was laugh quietly, shrug, join his son on the floor and try to act like Rob.
At least he tried to until he heard the front door open.
Robert picked his head up confused, but that was just before he saw his mum and Jack come into the house with wide smiles on their faces. And both he and Holden didn’t waste a second before pushing themselves off the floor and running at them.
He had no idea they were driving down, but from the look on Aaron’s face as he came to greet them that was the plan. The older lad can say he hates surprises as much as he wants, but Robert knows just how much he likes to plan them, so now it was just a matter of what secret plans Aaron has for him tonight.
But for right now he had his mum, Jack, Holden, Aaron and a huge spread of his favorite mexican foods, so he was going to solely focus on that for the time being.
Vic and Charlie had already called him, wishing him a happy birthday and Ed and Adam had done the same, promising to snag him for a night and go out drinking to properly celebrate.
Tonight was all him and Aaron though, and by the time dinner rolled around the older lad ordered him to get his suit on and be ready to leave in 20 minutes.
Robert didn’t object of course, going right to Aaron’s bedroom and knowing he had at least one of his suits in the closet. And of course he had about three in there from recent nights he went out and came back to the older lad’s house. But then again Robert was sure that half of Aaron’s clothes were in his dresser drawers back at his flat too.
So he pulled on one of his suits, Aaron already dressed in his own before heading back downstairs.
Holden ran right at him, nearly shoving gifts into his hands and excitedly waiting for him to look at them. And if Robert was being honest they were such Holden gifts to give, he loved them.
The toddler got him his favorite candies, a new disney movie for all of them to watch together, a bowtie and a keychain that looked like his “space car”. And by the time Robert was done hugging and kissing Holden the 3 year old was nearly begging his daddies to leave so he could have some peace.
So Aaron kissed the toddler and hugged him tightly before saying goodnight to him and thanking Jack and Diane a million times before heading out the door with Robert.
“So where are we going?” Robert asked as he passed the older lad his keys and hopped in the passenger seat.
“We’re going on a date,” Aaron said through a soft smile, getting comfortable in his own seat. “You asked me on one over a month ago, so I think it’s a bit overdue.”
“Definitely,” Robert said, unable to hold back his own grin as he reached over and placed a gentle hand on the older lad’s thigh. “Now that the musical is done and the album is out it’s nice to actually breathe.”
Aaron hummed his agreement as he drove down the dark roads, heading towards the city. It was crazy to think that they actually had their lives back, but now that they were done with everything it seemed like they had all the time in the world again. Well, at least they did at night. Usually during the days now Robert had promotional things to do, but Aaron was at school and Holden was at daycare those hours, so it was like going back to their old routine. And finally after waiting for forever they were actually able to go on a date.
Aaron has been saving up for this, wanting to take Robert to a nice restaurant and for once pamper him, for once pay the bill, but he knew he would have to be sly. The younger lad was always slipping his card to the waiter or waitress before Aaron even knew the check had come.
So by the time he had pulled up to the building, handed the keys over to the valet and opened Robert’s door for him he had come up with a plan to get the bill before the younger lad could even think about it.
“Hi uhm, reservation for Dingle,” Aaron said, this kind of place not necessarily being somewhere he goes to eat because of how much it costs, but he has been dying to go and he knows Robert has never been.
“Aaron this place looks incredible,” Robert breathed out as he looked around the restaurant. “Are you sure-”
“Don’t,” Aaron said through an airy laugh as he reached for the younger lad’s hand and followed the maitre-d to a small table in the back. “I have it all under control, please just this one time it’s on me.”
“But Aaron-”
“It’s your birthday, no,” Aaron said plainly, pulling Robert’s chair out for him. “And if you try to slip the waiter your card I’m cutting your hand off.”
Robert raised his eyebrows at the older lad as he took a seat across from him. “Aaron it’s my birthday, I get to make the decisions today,” he said in mock seriousness.
“Uhm no,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “I’m paying for the bill and you’re going to sit there and let me.”
Robert hummed, knowing he could definitely slip their waiter his card without Aaron noticing. But as he looked to the older lad he was already eyeing him, giving him that silent “don’t you dare even try” scowl. And all he did was shrug and send Aaron the sweetest smile he could before looking down to his menu and tangling their feet together under the table.
And it was like all those years ago on their first date. Even after being whatever they are for months now it was still a little nerve wracking to actually be starting all over again like this.
Laughs were trying to be muffled into hands and smiles bit back to not seem like a pair of lovestruck teenagers, but the longer they sat there the harder it became.
Everyone in the restaurant had looked over at them at least once as they let out barking laughs, and maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do in this kind of restaurant, or any restaurant, but they couldn’t help it.
And by the time they were done with their dinner, they had talked about everything and nothing, and a bottle of wine was finished between them, Aaron waved their waiter over to get the check. He had been watching Robert all night, so it would be impossible for him to pay, and he was more than willing to tackle the younger lad if it meant keeping Robert’s card in his pocket.
“Could we get the check?” Aaron asked, watching the waiter like a hawk so he could just take the booklet from him.
The waiter looked down at him confused before shifting his gaze to Robert, and just as he was about to open his mouth the green eyed lad stopped him.
“Aaron I already got it, it’s fine,” Robert said, preparing himself for the yelling he was about to receive.
“You what?!” Aaron whisper yelled. “Robert what the hell?! I said I would!! When did you even do it?!” he asked, their waiter slowly shuffling away from them so they could talk.
“When I went to the “bathroom”,” Robert said through a small laugh. “C’mon Aaron, really it’s fine. I’m a millionaire for God’s sake, it’s not like it hurts me.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Aaron grumbled. “I wanted to pay.”
“Aaron I’m telling you this for future reference, whenever we go out I’m paying. Don’t even try to argue with me,” Robert said seriously.
Aaron muttered to himself under his breath as he shook his head. “You suck.”
“No, I just have a lot to make up for, and this just something small,” Robert said with raised eyebrows, making the older lad bite his lip. “But if you want we can go back home and then I’ll show you how I really suck.”
“Please stop talking,” Aaron said as he chuckled to himself and hid his face in his hands. “But yeah, we can go.”
“Thought you would like that idea,” Robert said through a small smirk as he pushed himself out of his seat and offered the older lad his hand.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Aaron grumbled as he rolled his eyes and followed Robert out of the restaurant.
Robert smiled down at the older lad, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as they waited for the car. And as soon as it pulled up in front of them Aaron took the keys and opened the door for him. But when they were actually on the road and he saw him driving further into the city instead of going back to the house he grew confused.
“Babe where are we going?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Well I was uhm… I was thinking with your mum and Jack at the house with Holden you and I could maybe uhm, maybe go back to your flat,” Aaron said quietly, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Yeah, sure,” Robert shrugged. “You okay? What’s got you actin all funny?”
Aaron bit his lip as he glanced over to Robert and gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter. And he hoped the look he was giving the younger lad answered him, that it translated what he wanted to say. But he knew Robert understood him when he went wide eyed and his jaw had gone slack.
“Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, tonight? Really? That’s okay, I mean you’re okay if we… Do it?” Robert whispered the last part like a secret.
Aaron looked over to the younger lad like he was crazy before rolling his eyes at him. “You’re acting like a 16 year old virgin, yes I’m okay,” he said through a chuckle.
“Well Aaron this is kind of a big deal,” Robert said quietly.
“I know, and I’ve thought about it a lot,” Aaron breathed out as he nodded to himself. “And well… I’m ready if you are.”
Robert kept his eyes on Aaron, searching his face and making sure this is what he really wanted. “Hell Aaron I’ve been ready since we started talking again,” he said through a small laugh.
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Aaron scoffed. “When we started talking I was ready to hit you every five seconds and we could barely even utter anything to each other without getting mad.”
“Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to jump you,” Robert said, squeezing the older lad’s thigh. “You know you got better with age.”
“Ugh, please shut up,” Aaron groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I swear I’ve never met a more ridicuAarons person,” he muttered.
Robert shrugged and hummed to himself, hiking his hand up Aaron’s thigh just a bit more as he drove closer and closer to his flat. “And yet you’re still willing to sleep with me.”
“The more you talk the less willing I am,” Aaron laughed quietly as he pulled into Robert’s flat complex and parked the car.
Robert pressed his lips together, trying to keep in his own laugh as he hopped out of the car and immediately grabbed Aaron’s hand, already trying to rush him inside.
And before Aaron even knew what was happening they were in the lift, Robert’s lips moving feverishly against his own and his suit jacket already getting slipped off. But he wasn’t going to slow the younger lad down, wasn’t going to stop him when the lift came to Robert’s flat and his shirt somehow became unbuttoned, it being tossed to the floor along with Robert’s jacket.
Robert was moving so fast Aaron could barely comprehend what was happening until he felt the younger lad gently shoving on his chest, his back hitting the mattress and bouncing slightly as Robert unbuttoned his shirt in record speed.
“R, R, wait,” Aaron said breathlessly as the younger lad crawled over to him.
“What? You okay?” Robert asked through a heavy breath.
“Love just… Slow down,” Aaron said as a small laugh escaped him, running a gentle hand down Robert’s bare back.
“Sorry,” Robert said sheepishly, trying to calm his racing heart. “M’just excited, and… I’m uhm, I’m a bit nervous.”
“Don’t be,” Aaron barely whispered, carding his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “It’s just us… Like the old days.”
Robert bit back a nervous smile as he nodded down at Aaron and dipped his head to kiss his lips gently. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
Aaron laughed against the younger lad’s mouth, pecking him a few more times before trailing his hands down to Robert’s waist. “Me too.”
That was all Robert needed to hear to slowly connect their lips again, moving much slower than he was before. And he kept it like that the entire time. His hands gently running over the older lad’s skin, his breaths coming out shakily as he kissed Aaron and carefully popped his pants button.
And it was like all those years ago, his hands shaking as he felt the older lad against him, the silent pleas that would escape him, the moans and tight noises that escaped him the more worked up they both got.
It was only when Robert was reaching for his bedside table, frantically searching for lube and a condom when he realized exactly what they were about to do. It was nerve wracking and terrifying and amazing all at the same time. Something he’s been looking forward to for so long, to just be so close to Aaron again, to feel him the same way he did all those years ago.
But they kept it slow, Robert carefully stretching the older lad open since he hasn’t been in years. And at the touch Aaron was writhing under him, just at the younger lad’s fingers feeling himself almost completely come undone.
It was just like how he remembered it, how gentle Robert was with him like any second he would break. How he would kiss him until he felt dizzy and his fingers were working him just right, making him moan into his mouth.
And after what felt like a lifetime of preparation Aaron gave him the okay, nodding his head and heaving breaths escaping him as he laid under the younger lad. Robert was in the same state, breathing heavily into his neck as he carefully aligned himself and what felt like slow motion pushed into him. It was so slow that Aaron was nearly begging for him to hurry up, he didn’t care if he got hurt, he’s been waiting for over four years for this and he wasn’t going to come without the younger lad in him.
And thankfully Robert actually listened to him,clearly just as eager as he was, but was better at hiding it.
He started off slow, his movements careful at first. But before either of them knew it, it became something else. Both of them begging, aching for more, the feeling of being so close, so connected after so long had them both trembling at the simplest of touches.
It wasn’t long until Robert’s movements were out of rhythm, his hips jerking forward, sweat dripping down his jaw and silent pleas were muffled into the older lad’s neck.
He was a second away from letting it all go, from releasing into the condom and getting the feeling that he could breathe again back, but he couldn’t, not yet. Robert kept pushing, kept going until Aaron was a whining mess under him. And only when the older lad came with a shout of his name did Robert let himself go, falling still onto Aaron’s chest and letting out heavy breaths like he hadn’t breathed in years.
The two just laid there, their sweat and breaths mixing in the hot room. And as Robert pulled out of Aaron he couldn’t help the smile that came to him, pushing his damp curls out of his eyes before turning on his side and running his hand over the older lad’s chest.
“I thought we weren’t going to fuck on the first date again?” he asked through an airy laugh, pulling Aaron into his side and kissing his temple.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he curled himself into Robert’s side, forgetting the last time he felt like this, so loved and like he belonged. “Old habits are hard to break,” and that was the only thing he could mutter before falling asleep to the younger lad’s fingers tracing down his back.
Notes:
Alright, yell at me, I deserve it... I promise this upcoming week isn't nearly as busy as my last two have been. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the update :) Comments are my favorite thing and I love kudos, thanks !!
Chapter 12
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aaron could see the light streaming into the room, peeking past his eyelids and successfully waking him up. And when he rolled over to get away from the light he found himself pressed into Robert’s chest, the younger lad’s arm still wrapped firmly around him and sleeping like a rock as he snored quietly to himself.
Aaron let out a slow breath through his nose as a warm smile came to him, if possible moving closer to Robert and absorbing his heat. No matter how badly he wanted to get back to sleep and stay here forever though Aaron knew he couldn’t. His eyes had already fluttered open and set upon the clock on the bedside table, successfully making him jerk awake at the time.
“Fuck,” he groaned into his hands. “Shit, shit, shit,” Aaron muttered, pushing the covers back and immediately feeling a sharp pain shoot up his backside.
“Aaron?” Robert asked sleepily, barely picking his head off the pillow. “Babe what’re you doin? Come back to bed,” he said, already trying to get comfortable on the bed again.
“R I completely forgot about class and your mum and Jack have Holden and-”
“Call out sick and they won’t care about watching him a bit longer. Now c’mere,” Robert mumbled into his pillow, stretching his arm out and reaching for the older lad.
Aaron shook his head as he bit back a laugh and stood up fully. As he did that though he felt that burn in his backside, but also something else. “R?” he asked quietly, feeling himself still. “Did you use a condom last night?”
“Yeah,” Robert breathed out, already feeling himself fall back asleep. “Why?”
“Just uhm, just asking,” Aaron barely whispered. “I need to uh, I need to take a shower.”
“Aaron,” Robert groaned. “Come here.”
“I will, I promise,” Aaron said through an airy laugh, carefully shuffling towards the bathroom unable to ignore the dried stickiness in his bum. “Just shower first.”
Robert let out another groan, wanting nothing more than to just curl up with Aaron and go back to sleep. But instead he swung his legs over the bed and went into the bathroom after the older lad, seeing him start the shower.
“Hey,” he said softly, carefully wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist and burying his nose in the back of his hair. “You okay? You don’t regret last night or anything right?”
Aaron shook his head as he turned around in Robert’s arms, something else stemming his worries. “Of course I don’t,” he said through a small smile. “Last night was… Amazing,” Aaron said as he let out an airy laugh, feeling his cheeks heat up at just the thought of last night.
Robert hummed, dipping his head and gently pressing his lips to the older lad’s. “You were even better than I remember.”
“Yeah well four years is a long time, I might’ve been a little desperate,” Aaron said through a sheepish chuckle as he stepped into the shower and tugged on Robert’s hand to join him.
Robert scoffed, not even wanting to talk about how desperate he’s been since Aaron came back into his life and even before that. “Yeah, you have no idea,” he muttered.
Aaron smiled back at him as he saw Robert getting in the shower after him, but still there was something that was bothering him. And he had a suspicion that the uncomfortable feeling in his bum had to do with it. He knew Robert either didn’t use a condom or it broke, and just at that thought Aaron grew more and more nervous.
*~*
Aaron let out a few deep breaths, trying to get past this nauseous feeling in his stomach as he walked down the aisle. This has been going on for two weeks at this point, and Robert keeps saying its probably something he ate, but Aaron knew better.
He had looked at the condoms Robert had in his bedside table, and he almost wanted to faint when he read one of them. The thing was, was that they were all four years old. As in they were the same ones Robert had when they were dating, as in they were expired. And when he went to check the wastebasket for the condoms they’ve used sure enough some of them were broken.
Aaron doesn’t understand how Robert didn’t feel that, how he himself didn’t feel it when any of them broke. But then again, it was the first time in years either of them have been having sex, it was too overwhelming to think about something like that at the time.
But now here Aaron was, a second away from having a meltdown as he reached for a pregnancy test and scurried out of the aisle so he wouldn’t be seen. He knew the media would have a field day if they knew about this or if any fans caught him with the little box.
Aaron had to pick this up though, he had to know if he was pregnant or not. For the last two weeks it’s been nothing but hot flashes, stomach pains, nausea and headaches. He had to know, he had to talk to Robert about all of this and hopefully not cry while doing so.
But of course he couldn’t even get to the checkout without a few people not so sneakily taking pictures of him. At this point Aaron was used to it. He hated it, but he was used to it.
So as quickly as possible he paid for the little box and rushed out of the store, immediately heading for his car and getting away from the people with their phones out that just had to follow him. But Aaron tried to pay them no mind as he got to his car and roared the engine to life.
And when he pulled onto the road it was impossible to stop his racing thoughts.
What if it came out positive? What if he and Robert only had sex a couple times and already there was a baby coming? He didn’t know how Robert would react, if he would be happy or terrified. He didn’t even know how he himself was feeling other than terrified.
But maybe he was just over thinking all of this. Maybe he wasn’t even pregnant and for the past two weeks he’s just had a small stomach bug and he was worrying over nothing. And this was all he could think about as he drove home, even when he parked the car and made his way inside these thoughts wouldn’t stop.
Aaron tried to stay calm as he climbed the stairs to his bathroom, closing the door behind him and just staring at the box in his hands. He had to know, it couldn’t be like last time when he was too terrified to take a test and only when Pete forced him to he did, when he refused to tell Robert because he was scared.
This time he was going to know as soon as possible, and when he did know he was going to tell the younger lad right away. It was just a matter of making his hands stop shaking so he could actually take this test and get on with it.
And it may have taken him another 10 minutes to actually gain the courage to do it, but he had taken the test, and now just had to wait another 5 minutes to find out if he and Robert were having a baby or not.
Aaron was sitting on the bathroom floor, his hands clutching his hair and knees pulled into his chest as he stared at the little stick in front of him. It felt like time was moving in slow motion, even when he did this the first time all those years ago it wasn’t this agonizing. But he couldn’t even make it past 3 minutes before he heard the front door open and Robert’s voice booming through the house.
“Aaron!!”
His head snapped up at the younger lad’s yell, him almost sounding mad as he pushed himself off the floor and walked out of the bathroom. “Yeah?” he called back.
Aaron made his way downstairs, only to see Robert pacing the living room and combing his fingers through his hair, clearly trying to calm down. “R what’s wrong?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I thought you were gonna pick up Holden, is he-”
“Did something happen today?” Robert asked him, his gaze finally landing on the older lad.
“Uhm… No,” Aaron said confused.
Robert shook his head as he let out a heavy breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “Weren’t you the one who was making a big fuss about wanting to talk to each other? What happened to that Aaron?” he asked, trying his hardest not to scream.
“Robert I really have no clue what you’re talking about,” Aaron said quietly, the younger lad clearly upset with him about something.
“Aaron what is this?!” Robert asked, his voice raising as he brought up his phone.
Aaron squinted his eyes at the phone, his face dropping as he read the headline. Trying to Hide Something Aaron Dingle? It read with a pictures of him picking up the pregnancy test at the store and zoomed in on his stomach. But of course pictures weren’t enough, there was an entire article on him and Robert, and possibly expecting a baby.
“Robert…” he barely whispered, swallowing thickly and shifting his eyes back to the younger lad.
“Well?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows. “Were you gonna pull the same shit? Were you not gonna tell me or talk to me or-”
“Stop it,” Aaron said, shaking his head and looking down to his feet. “Robert relax, if you look at the date it was posted today, and I just got back from the store where that was taken. I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet, I’m still waiting for the test to be done…”
Robert opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out as he took in the older lad’s words. “But how? We… I used a condom, we only did it a couple times… I....” he barely whispered.
“It broke… Most of them did,” Aaron said as he bit his lip. “I knew it did the morning after the first time but I didn’t say anything, I didn’t think it was a big deal but-”
“But you haven’t been feeling well,” Robert finished off for him. “Aaron I’m sorry… I just, I thought you didn’t tell me and weren’t going to.”
Aaron shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck and kept his eyes trained on the floor. “I was going to take the test and tell you everything when you got home.”
“Babe I’m sorry,” Robert said quietly, taking a careful step towards the older lad and gently wrapping his arms around him. “I just got scared is all, I didn’t mean to yell.”
“I know,” Aaron said through a heavy breath as he rested his head on the younger lad’s chest.
And it was more than a relief that he was in Robert’s arms, that he knew and he wasn’t running away or was angry at him, but instead was kissing his head and rubbing his back, trying to do everything in his power to comfort him.
“You know no matter what I’ll be here,” Robert said softly into the older lad’s neck. “We’ll still be a proper family, yeah?”
Aaron nodded against him, letting out a deep breath and really taking in Robert’s words. No matter what they were going to be okay and the younger lad wasn’t going anywhere. “It uhm… The test should be done by now.”
“Okay,” Robert said quietly, gently pressing his lips to Aaron’s temple. “We’ll look together, alright? It’s okay,” he tried to reassure the older lad, at the same time trying to calm himself down.
All Aaron could do was nod again. Even with Robert there, with him knowing that there was even a possibility of them having another baby it was nerve wracking.
They never plDianed for this, Aaron didn’t know if Robert wanted another baby, and it was so early in their relationship the younger lad hasn’t even asked him to be his boyfriend and already this was happening. They may have wanted to take things slow this time around but it felt like things were moving faster than they did last time.
But Aaron still led Robert upstairs to the bathroom, gripping the younger lad’s hand for dear life and trying to even his breathing the closer and closer they got. And behind him Robert wasn’t much better.
No matter how hard he tried Aaron could see past the younger lad’s brave face. He was clearly just as he scared, just as terrified as he was, but Robert was trying to stay calm for his sake. And Aaron would be lying if he said it didn’t help as they got into the bathroom, the little plastic stick right where he left it.
They both just looked at it, it too small to read from where they were standing, but it was Robert who made the move to pick it up.
“No matter what,” he said quietly, reaching for the stick and gripping it in his hand. “I’m yours.”
Aaron swallowed thickly and nodded to himself, his eyes trained on Robert and slow breaths escaping him as he watched the younger lad turn the stick over to look at it. His heart beating faster and faster as he saw Robert’s face, the younger lad’s breath hitching when he looked at the test.
“Negative,” Robert breathed out, his eyes shifting to Aaron and feeling himself calm down at the little minus sign.
Aaron sucked in a deep breath and nodded to himself, not thinking he would feel this relieved at just that one word. “You just as relieved as I am?” he said through an airy laugh.
“Maybe more,” Robert said through his own quiet chuckle, but when he saw the older lad look at him with furrowed eyebrows he shook his head. “I mean, like… I have to talk to you.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, already feeling himself growing nervous again as he saw that whatever Robert wanted to tell him it was serious.
“Adam is getting Holden, I know I was supposed to but I had to talk to you alone first,” Robert said, his gaze shifting to the floor. “They’re just back at my flat and he’ll bring him home whenever we’re done.”
Aaron didn’t know how to respond, had no idea what Robert would want to talk to him about that would be so bad where he didn’t want Holden in the house. So he didn’t say anything, instead he found himself just barely able to nod before leading the younger lad down to the living room.
The air around them was tense as they sat on the couch, Robert clearly trying to find the right words and calm himself down at the thought of what he was about to tell Aaron.
“You uhm… You know I had a meeting with my management team today,” Robert began quietly, unable to look at the older lad.
Just at those words Aaron did feel a bit of relief, happy that he didn’t want to talk about their relationship, that everything between them was fine.
“And what I have to tell you is that I uhm… I-I’m going on tour again,” he said, finally picking his head up and seeing Aaron freeze. “The contracts are ready to be signed and they’re already getting everything ready,” Robert barely whispered.
“What?” Aaron asked so quietly he wasn’t sure the younger lad heard him. “Why would you do that? Why would you agree to that without talking to me about it?!”
“Aaron I’m talking to you now,” Robert said softly, carefully reaching for the older lad’s thigh. “I didn’t sign anything yet, I’m just saying that my team is waiting for an answer.”
Aaron let out a deep as he nodded to himself and tried to calm down. What happened not even 10 minutes ago with the whole might be having a baby thing, and now this. It was a bit too much for one day.
“How long would you be gone?”
Robert bit the inside of his cheek, just thinking about how long he would be away making his throat tighten up. “8 months…” he barely whispered. “I mean I’ll be home in between of course but that’s the full length… That’s why I was a bit nervous with the whole pregnancy thing, I-”
“You wouldn’t have time for a baby, you’ll be gone for almost a year,” Aaron muttered into his hands.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older lad, almost growing confused at what he had said. “Do you… Do you want another baby?”
“Well I…” Aaron trialed off, not even sure of what he wanted. “When we were dating we always talked about having two or three kids and Holden is that age where a baby is doable, but at the same time you’re so busy and we just went out on a first date two weeks ago, and-”
“Babe,” Robert said softly, gently rubbing circles into the older lad’s back so he would breathe. “It’s okay, this is what I want to talk about, stuff like this. You don’t have to be nervous or scared.”
Aaron let out a deep breath into his hands and nodded to himself. It wasn’t like last time. They were actually talking and Robert knew everything, he wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what.
“Robert this is a lot,” he barely whispered. “I can’t just say yes, I want another baby because then what?” Aaron asked, his eyes trained on the floor. “And I’m not saying I do because that’s just so much right now and too soon, but at some point… Yeah, I… I will want another one.”
“Okay,” Robert said gently, kissing the older lad’s temple and pulling him into his side. “And what if I said I wanted the same thing?”
Aaron felt himself still for a second, slowly picking his head up and opening and closing his mouth as he looked at Robert. “What?”
“Are you actually surprised?” Robert asked through a small laugh. “Aaron of course I want that, it’s just a matter of when.”
“Not anytime soon, just… Just at some point in the future,” Aaron said quietly, still a bit shocked that Robert would actually have another baby with him.
Robert nodded, offering the older lad a small smile as he still saw him a bit nervous about the topic. “Look at us. Being all grown up and talking,” he said jokingly.
Aaron bit his lip to keep in a laugh as he shook his head. “It’s crazy, I know,” he teased back. “Almost 5 years later and we figured it out.”
Robert hummed, pressing another kiss to Aaron’s cheek before running his hand down his back. “But just getting back to uhm, back to the tour,” he began quietly. “What are your thoughts?”
“M’not so sure I have any,” Aaron breathed out, his gaze focusing back on the floor. “I don’t want you to go, to be away for so long, but it’s kind of inevitable because it’s bound to happen.”
“Well I can… I…” Robert said, trying to think of anything he could do, but Aaron was right. It was impossible for him not to go on tour at least once. “After the tour they said I can go break,” he said softly. “For a year or more, no touring, and minimal travel and interviews, virtually none. It’ll be just us and Holden… And maybe a baby,” Robert said through a chuckle, earning a jab from the older lad.
“Yeah, but gone for 8 months is…” Aaron trailed off, shaking his head and not even wanting to think about how hard that will be.
“But I’ll be here in between,” Robert said quickly, trying to calm Aaron’s nerves.
“Yeah? How often will you be home?”
Robert nibbled on the inside of his cheek, even the time he can be home not being nearly as long as he would like to be. “About every two months for a week or so,” he said quietly.
“Robert…” Aaron said so quietly he wasn’t sure the younger lad heard him as he hid his face in his hands.
“But in the summer you can come with me!” Robert rushed out. “Like June through August you and R can come and I’ll be in Europe and then the US for a month,” he said, aching for the older lad and Holden to come with him. “It’ll be 3 months out of the 8 of us being together, traveling and virtually being on vacation with some shows at night.”
Aaron shook his head, needing to think this over, think about Holden and all that travel, weigh the pros and cons of all of this.
“You didn’t even think about it…” Robert said, seeing the older lad shake his head. “Is it really that bad of an idea? I mean we can be together, the three of us-”
“No, no,” Aaron said quickly, shaking his head faster. “Robert it’s just Holden and all that travelling, it’s a lot.”
“I know but Aaron just think about how amazing it would be,” Robert said through a small smile. “Think about how warm it’ll be, and the food and the beaches, the late nights…” he trailed off, ghosting his lips behind the older lad’s ear.
“The planes, the jet lag, a beyond cranky toddler and a crankier me,” Aaron chuckled to himself.
“But Aaron,” Robert whined.
“Robert this is something I need to think about,” Aaron said a bit more seriously. “I mean that’s a lot to ask for.”
Robert let out a small breath but nodded anyway, understanding the older lad’s concerns. “Well it kinda sounds like I’ll be going on tour.”
“I don’t want you to go, but… If you’ll be home in between and maybe we can go with you for bit it won’t be so bad,” Aaron said quietly. “And then you’ll be off for a year or so, and we can uhm, maybe bring back up the whole baby thing,” he said, biting his lip nervously.
“Of course,” Robert said softly.
Aaron released a deep breath into his hands, not even wanting to think about what will happen when Robert leaves. Even when they were dating this was always his biggest fear, what would happen when the younger lad would be gone for months at a time, when they would be worlds apart. And now it was happening. Robert was actually going to leave, and what happens when they tell Holden, explain that papa won’t be home for a while is what Aaron fears the most. But like every time Robert travels the only thing he can do is assure Holden that papa is always coming back.
*~*
“Holden no running!” Robert said, lightly jogging after the toddler to catch up with him.
“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, feeling his father scoop him up and throw him over his shoulder. “Papa you put me down!” he said seriously.
“No.”
Holden groaned as he slumped against his father, but if he was being honest he never really minded being thrown over his papa’s shoulder. He was so much taller than his daddy that it actually made it fun. But he could never tell his papa that, then he might stop doing it.
“You still alive back there?” Robert asked, peeking over his shoulder at the toddler and flashing him a small smile.
“No,” Holden mumbled into his papa’s shirt. “You kill me and now daddy kill you.”
“Oh no, I’m gonna have to find somewhere to bury you,” Robert breathed out as he shook his head. “Maybe this closet will do. What do you think?” he asked, pulling open some custodian closet and ready to put Holden down.
“No! No!!” Holden said through a Loud laugh, clinging to his papa’s neck and refusing to get put down.
“Sorry you’re dead, you don’t have a choice,” Robert said, trying desperately to keep his own laugh in and pry Holden’s arms off him.
“Papa!” Holden squealed, hitting his father’s back and kicking his legs.
“Dead people can’t talk,” Robert said in a matter of fact tone, but still stepped away from the closet and continued his way down the hall.
“And papa’s no be mean,” Holden said, adjusting himself in his father’s arms so he was resting on his hip and pointed a little finger in his face.
Robert scoffed as he shook his head and grabbed his son’s little hand. “Papa’s are supposed to be the meanest, don’t you know that? It’s the daddies who are the nice ones.”
Holden looked at his father with raised eyebrows before shaking his head, realizing his papa was trying to tell another one of his “jokes”. “Keep trying papa, one day I laugh… Maybe.”
Robert felt his jaw go slack as he heard the 3 year old. “You’re not allowed to hang out with daddy anymore, my God,” he said through a chuckle, Holden picking up some of Aaron’s sass.
“Well we go see daddy now,” Holden said, squirming out of his father’s arms and running down the hall.
“R,” Robert groaned, jogging after him again.
But he couldn’t get to the toddler before he pushed open Aaron’s classroom door and shrieked a very Loud “daddy!”. But Robert was surprised to see the 3 year old still standing in the doorway instead of running in.
He came up behind Holden, popping his head into the room, but like Holden stilled where he was as he saw the older lad looking completely distressed with some older guy sitting in front of his desk.
The man had turned around to look at them, but as soon as their eyes met the man scoffed and shook his head. He muttered something to Aaron, only making the older lad go wide eyed before they all watched this man get up and leave the classroom.
Robert bit his lip as the older man walked past him in the door, catching his not so subtle glare before he fully left the room. But when he looked back to Aaron he could see the blue eyed lad with his hands in his hair and clearly trying to calm down.
“Aaron…” he said softly. “I’m sorry, if I knew you had a meeting we wouldn’t have come in,” Robert said, walking further into the classroom after Holden.
Aaron just shook his head and let out a deep breath as Holden climbed in his lap. He sat back against his seat, still trying to process what had just happened.
“Daddy you sad?” Holden asked quietly.
“No I-...” Aaron stopped himself, rubbing his hands over his face. “Buddy can you go sit in one of the desks? I have to talk to papa real quick.”
Holden bit his lip but nodded anyway before kissing his daddy’s cheek to make him feel better and climbing off his lap.
“Love what happened? Who was that guy?” Robert asked carefully as he took a seat on the older lad’s desk.
“He uhm… That was my boss,” Aaron muttered into my hands.
“Okay and what did you guys talk about that has you all worked up?”
“How I haven’t been focused on my job because of my inappropriate relationship with a popstar,” Aaron said, straining himself so he wouldn’t just start screaming.
“What?” Robert barely whispered. “What does that even mean? That’s total bull sh-”
“Robert,” Aaron warned, nodding over to Holden who was watching them carefully.
Robert bit his lip as he shook his head, trying himself to stay calm. “You’re completely focused on your job, always grading, getting everything back to the kids on time, students love your class and you, and the musical was a hit. What is he talking about?”
“He saw the articles and pictures of me with the pregnancy test,” Aaron said quietly, his eyes trained on his hands. “He doesn’t like how public our relationship is, how the students know what’s going on in our lives and he also knows how often you stop by here and he thinks it distracts me.”
“Well it doesn’t,” Robert said almost firmly. “You’re the best God damn teacher they have in this school and what he’s saying is complete and utter shit.”
“Robert,” Aaron warned again, seeing the younger lad get more and more worked up. “I mean I hate that the kids know that stuff, that they can see what we do on a daily basis, but we can’t change that,” he said softly, resting his hand over Robert’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. “And I explained that to him, but he’s just an ass, that’s it.”
Robert scoffed as he rolled his eyes, not believing anyone would ever say that Aaron didn’t take his job seriously. “What a dick,” he muttered.
Aaron hummed his agreement as he glanced over to Holden and offered him a small smile before waving him back over to them. “Yeah, and you know what I’m gonna do?” he asked, picking Holden up and placing him on his lap. “Absolutely nothing, that’s what.”
Robert grinned down at the older lad before leaning forward and kissing his hair, happy at least Aaron knew he was a great teacher and to not listen to people like that. “C’mon love, we came by to kidnap you and take you to lunch.”
“Daddy papa kill me, be careful. He try to kill you too.” Holden said, pointing his little finger at his father.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he looked between the two, completely confused as he heard Holden giggling and saw Robert scowling at the 3 year old. “Alright crazies, let’s go. I only have an hour.”
Holden covered his mouth with his little hand as he laughed to himself, telling his daddy that he was just kidding and that papa would never do that because he loves them too much. And all his papa could do was wrap an arm around his daddy, pull the two of them into his side and hum his agreement through a soft smile as they walked out of the school.
*~*
“Aaron,” Robert said quietly, gently running his hand over the older lad’s bare stomach, trying to wake him up a bit.
And it somewhat worked as Aaron grumbled to himself, still refusing to roll over but at least Robert knew he was kind of listening.
“Babe,” he said, nuzzling his nose into Aaron’s feathery hair and kissing him softly. “Be my boyfriend,” he barely whispered.
Aaron let out a quiet breath, rubbing his hand over Robert’s arm that was draped over him before muttering a barely audible “sure”.
“That’s it? Just “sure”?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh.
“When you’re asking me at 3 in the morning yes, that’s all you get,” Aaron muttered into his pillow.
Robert couldn’t help the sleepy smile that came to him as he pulled Aaron even closer towards his chest. And if possible his grin widened at feeling the older lad roll over in his arms, pressing a tired kiss to his neck before settling against him and falling right back to sleep.
He really shouldn’t have expected anything more, it was pretty late and like most nights they did just do it a couple hours ago. They couldn’t help it, after not being together for years and now having condoms that wouldn’t break every time they used them, there was no stopping them. Except maybe on the days Holden was a bit more difficult than normal and they both fell into bed exhausted, but thankfully that wasn’t too often and they had nights all to themselves.
But Robert did wonder when the night would come where he would tell Aaron he loves him. When he would whisper in the dark as he laid with the older lad and ask him to move in with him, when they could really be back where they were before they broke up.
If it wouldn’t freak Aaron out he could do it right now, tell the older lad everything, put it all out on the table. But Robert knew Aaron would be hesitant, that it was a lot to ask for considering just minutes ago he asked him to be his boyfriend.
One day soon though they’d be in this exact position and Robert would whisper those words. Would pull Aaron close and breathe out that phrase that makes his heart flutter just thinking about it.
One day they’ll be back where they were all those years ago.
*~*
“Holden Edward Dingle get your bum back here and stop running around!” Aaron said through a frustrated breath as he tried to button up his shirt.
“Let him run around love, he’s just excited,” Robert said quietly as he looked at himself in the mirror, trying to get his hair just right.
“I don’t understand how he has this much energy,” Aaron muttered. “I mean that plane ride was like 11 hours, it killed me.”
“Babe we got here like two days ago, are you really still that jetlagged?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh.
“Yes,” Aaron huffed like that was a ridicuAarons question. “Although, I do have to say that I could get used to this weather,” he said, glancing away from the mirror and out towards the bathroom window that overlooked the beach, the LA sun shining bright over the water.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully, knowing that Aaron would complain about the flight but once they got here the older lad shut right up. It wasn’t just the beach that made Aaron go silent though. Robert hadn’t really told him about his LA home, and to say the blue eyed lad was shocked when they got here would be a huge understatement.
If Robert was being honest he was more than happy to be back in LA. If he had it his way that’s where he would be year round, and before Aaron came back into his life that’s how it was. He only stayed in his flat back in London a few months out of the year after he and Aaron broke up, unable to stay in the city that forced him to think about the older lad. And his LA house became his party house, where every night there was a wild rager and more celebrities could be found than in rehab.
But now it was a family house, now this was a place where Holden could explore and he and Aaron could walk hand and hand down the beach right outside. Where there were late nights and not because of a party, but because he and the blue eyed lad decided to sneak out for a swim in the pool, or steal midnight kisses in the hot tub.
“Did they not give me a tie?” Aaron asked confused, searching the garment bag Clara gave to him earlier.
“Love a tie wouldn’t look good with a suit like that,” Robert laughed, checking himself over once more.
“Oh…” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip. “Are you sure I have to go? I mean I have no problem just sitting at home, maybe grade a few papers and hang out with R. You can take your mum and Jack, I’ll just-”
“Do you really not want to go?” Robert asked with a touch of hurt in his voice.
“W-well it’s just…” Aaron trailed off. “This is a really big deal and there are so many cameras and people, I… I’m nervous.”
Robert bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, before shifting his gaze to the counter. “I don’t want to put you on the spot or put you out and make you uncomfortable, I… I would just really like it if you came.”
Aaron let out a deep breath, more than sure that any second he was going to sweat through this beyond expensive suit and he already looked like a nervous trainwreck, how much worse could it get? He wanted to be there for Robert more than anything, they came to LA specifically for this, he took off a week of work just to come along with the younger lad. But now that it was getting closer and closer to when they had to go he could feel his nerves really picking up.
“Love you have nothing to be nervous about,” Robert said softly, gently wrapping his arms around the older lad and kissing his cheek. “I’m gonna be by your side all night and you don’t even have to talk. Just a few pictures and we’re inside.”
“Just so many people,” Aaron groaned into his hands. “And I mean you really want Holden to come? Don’t you think we’ll be out a bit late? Will he get bored or-”
“You’re overthinking this, like you do with everything,” Robert chuckled to himself, pulling Aaron into his chest. “The three of us are gonna have a great night, okay? After the show we’ll bring R back here and then you and I can have a night out on the town.”
Aaron ducked his head as he smiled to himself, not able to remember the last time he and Robert went out to a club or just out drinking. It was probably a few months before they broke up, and for Aaron that was the last time he’s really been out.
“I’ll only go if I’m promised beers and Sam Smith,” Aaron said through a small smirk.
“Yes to the beers and I’m not letting you anywhere near Sam. I know you’ve been trying to get a hold of him for years now,” Robert said, squeezing the older lad’s side and eyeing him. “And I know as soon as his eyes set on you in that suit I’m gonna have some real competition.”
Aaron hummed, wrapping his arms around Robert’s shoulders and playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I’ll just get Ed to introduce me then,” he smiled up at the younger lad.
Robert rolled his eyes, making a mental note to keep Aaron very close and Sam very far the entire night. “C’mon Dingle, we have 3 year old to get ready,” he said, patting the older lad’s bum. “And may I remind you he’s our son, and you’re my boyfriend, and you’re mine,” Robert said, raising his eyebrows at Aaron before pecking his lips quickly and walking off to find Holden.
Aaron let out a dramatic breath before checking himself one more time in the mirror, deeming himself decent looking enough before following after Robert and helping him get their rambunctious son into his tux.
It may have taken them about 10 minutes just to chase after the toddler, but once they had him and were able to calm him down a bit the two managed to get him into his little suit. And if Aaron was being honest he’s never seen Holden look so cute in a tux before.
Granted he’s only worn a tux all of two or three times, but this beat all of them out. His little bow tie and tiny suspenders, the way Robert did his hair and the jacket was too much cuteness for Aaron. The 3 year old looked like a little popstar, and he was acting like it too.
But after about a half hour of struggling to get the toddler ready they were finally able to go. Aaron still wasn’t calm in the slightest and the more he thought about it the more worked up he got but at least he had Holden’s constant rambling to Jack and Robert’s hand firm in his as they drove through LA to distract him. Not only that but this was his first time in a limo, so there were plenty of little things he could focus on, and not about how in just mere minutes he was going to be surrounded by celebrities and some of the most influential people in the music industry.
“Love,” Robert said gently as he saw how close they were to the award show. “It’s okay, alright?” he whispered to the older lad, kissing his temple gently and squeezing his hand. “We’re gonna have a great time, don’t worry.”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded to himself, noticing Diane offering him a reassuring smile as well. He didn’t understand how she wasn’t nervous, or how Jack wasn’t, this being a first for them too. But maybe they were both so proud of Robert they didn’t have room to be nervous.
“You know how much I hate you right?” Aaron muttered through a small smile.
Robert hummed, grinning back at the older lad as he felt the limo stop from under them, knowing it was Aaron’s own way of saying “I love you”, without actually saying it. “I hate you too,” he said softly, carefully connecting their lips before giving him a few more pecks.
“Hate a mean word,” Holden said as he looked at his daddies with raised eyebrows.
“That’s right sweetheart it is,” Diane smiled down at her grandson as she ran her fingers through the back of his hair. “I’m sure daddy and papa are just playing.”
“Yeah you little police officer, relax,” Robert said teasingly, just as someone opened the limo door. “Alright everyone, let’s pretend we all like each other and get out there.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he watched Robert shuffle out of the limo, the screams almost deafening and camera lights blinding as soon as the younger lad was all the way out. But he let out a deep breath and tried his hardest to calm down as he followed after the him and immediately felt Robert’s arm snake around his waist.
It was overwhelming to say the least. Around them everyone was yelling, cameras were going off a mile a minute and Aaron was sure that if he didn’t feel Robert’s touch he would think he was dreaming.
But it was only a second later he didn’t feel the younger lad, making him quickly turn around and look around frantically for him before he spotted Robert taking Holden out of the limo and balancing him on his hip. It was a relief to know that he had the 3 year old, but at the same time he needed Robert by his side because he would be completely lost without him.
And he must’ve looked like a lost puppy as he followed the younger lad around. Him talking to all of these other famous people and waving and smiling at everyone. Diane and Jack were leisurely walking around, just taking everything in, but Aaron was stuck to Robert’s side.
Of course Robert introduced him to everyone and Aaron doesn’t know how he managed to actually say anything. But sure enough he shook hands, smiled and was being the perfect boyfriend. Holden was actually a saving grace because he took everyone’s attention off of Aaron.
The toddler was propped on his papa’s hip and was more than willing to talk to anyone who would listen. Of course the 3 year old had no idea who he was talking nonsense to, even though Aaron was near wide eyed at all of the musicians and other incredibly famous people in front of them. And basically everyone there knew Robert, so there was a lot of talking to be done.
Thankfully though the younger lad’s arm was wrapped around him the entire time. Cameras were constantly in their faces, people were screaming and it was just as overwhelming as Aaron thought it would be. But it just had to get a bit worse because Robert told them they had to do a live interview. He only promised it was one, but just at the thought Aaron was shaking in his shoes.
“It’s fine love, I can do all the talking,” Robert whispered to him, rubbing small circles into his back. “Just stand there and look pretty.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he heard the younger lad laughing. “That I can manage,” he muttered through a deep breath, trying to calm down the closer and closer they got to the large camera.
“It okay daddy. You no need to be scared,” Holden said, patting his father’s shoulder.
Aaron looked over at his son with raised eyebrows, wishing he was just as calm as Holden was, or even Diane and Jack who were happily following after them. Luckily though, just as Robert said he did all the talking.
He was being his charming self of course, talking about the album and what they’ve been up to at home, thankfully not mentioning the whole baby drama though.
It wasn’t until Aaron heard his name, Robert nudge his side and the interviewer and camera focused on him did he feel his heart pound in his chest. “I’m sorry, what?”
The interview laughed quietly as she saw that Aaron wasn’t paying attention at all but quickly composed herself again. “I asked what it’s like for you to be here. I’m sure this being your first time at the Grammy’s or at an award show at all, and being Robert Sugden’ boyfriend in general must be a bit overwhelming.”
“Uhm yeah, yeah I would say so,” Aaron nodded, swallowing thickly and doing everything in his power not to stare into the huge camera lense in front of him. “I mean the being here part,” he added in quietly. “I’ve been Robert’s boyfriend before and to me he’s not some huge superstar, but just Robert…”
Robert ducked his head as he heard the older lad, trying to hide his blush and small smile. “Cute isn’t he,” he said, pulling Aaron impossibly closer to his side and kissing his temple.
And now it was Aaron’s turn to feel his cheeks heating up, biting back his grin as he felt the younger lad pressing kisses into his hair.
“Adorable,” the interviewer agreed through a soft smile. “And what about you Holden, are you excited to be here?” she asked, turning to the toddler.
“So happy!” Holden jumped in his papa’s arms. “Papa gon win everything and then- and then we go home and have big party!!” he said, stumbling over his words because of how excited he was.
“I’m only up for three awards buddy,” Robert said, kissing the 3 year old’s hair gently. “And no one said anything about a party.”
Holden pouted at his father, knowing he heard his papa and daddy talking about going to a party later.
“Oh I don’t know how you resist a face like that,” the interviewer said, nearly melting as she saw Holden look at Robert with his puppy eyes.
“Yeah, he doesn’t,” Aaron laughed, Robert always being a sucker whenever Holden pulls that face.
“Buddy stop, please,” Robert begged. “I promise tomorrow we’ll do something really really fun, but when we get home tonight you’re going right to bed.”
Holden muttered to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe if he begged his nana and grandpa enough they would let him stay up a little later and they could play trains. But for right now all he did was rest his head on his papa’s shoulder as he and his daddy kept talking to the lady with the camera.
It was all boring stuff like what awards his papa was nominated for and they talked to his nana and grandpa about his papa too. The only part that was fun was when the lady would try to talk to his daddy and he got all nervous and started stuttering, even when he wouldn’t stop saying how proud he was of his papa. At that Holden couldn’t help but giggle into his papa’s neck. Of course she talked to him too and the toddler was more than happy to answer any questions she had for him, be it what his favorite thing to do with his daddies is or if they anything do anything embarrassing at which the 3 year old was more than happy to share a couple stories. But halfway through his second story his daddies were quickly stopping him and telling the interviewer they had to go before thanking her and walking off.
“I swear this kid is gonna be the death of us,” Robert chuckled as he placed Holden down and grabbed his hand.
Aaron hummed his agreement as he reached for Holden’s other hand, thinking maybe he and Robert should be careful about what they do in front of the toddler so he can’t share any more stories. And just as he was about to say something he tugged on Holden’s hand, stopping the 3 year old and then Robert as he saw the wall of paps they had to walk past.
“Babe it’s real quick, I promise,” Robert said, knowing that taking pictures in front of the backdrop and a thousand paps would be the hardest part. “We pose for a minute or two and then we’re inside.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, just looking at the flashing lights that were going off rapidly as other people stood in front of the cameras was nerve wracking enough, he’s never seen anything like it.
“Yeah R I think Jack and I will sit this one out, we’ll see you inside,” Diane said, herself a bit weary about all the cameras before tucking her hand into Jack’s and heading off.
“Robert I dunno…” Aaron said quietly. “Will I go blind? I’m pretty sure that much flashing light is asking for a headache or something.”
“No love you’ll be fine, trust me,” Robert said, trying not to laugh at seeing the older lad internally freaking out just about pictures.
“What about Holden? Will it hurt his eyes?” Aaron asked as he bit his lip and looked down at the 3 year old.
“We already have that all figured out, don’t we buddy?” Robert said, grinning down at the toddler and squeezing his hand, earning a happy nod from Holden. “Alright, sunglasses on,” he said, and it was only a second later the 3 year old pulled out a pair of sunglasses out of his suit jacket pocket and gave his papa a thumbs up.
“Come on daddy!! Picture time!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s hand and trying to pull both his fathers towards the cameras.
Aaron went wide eyed as he felt Holden tugging on him, but it was too late to stop the toddler, already in front of the paps that went absolutely crazy at seeing them.
“Alright buddy, just like we practiced,” Robert winked down at his son. “And pose!”
Aaron took a step back as he saw the two posing like true pop stars. Their backs to each other, lips pursed and arms crossed over their chests with serious faces on. He was at a complete loss of what to do as he saw the two doing pose after pose, clearly having done this before in their own time. And now here he was just standing in front of the cameras, looking completely lost. But at least everyone’s attention was on Robert and Holden. That was until Aaron felt the younger lad’s arms wrap around him and his lips pressed into his neck.
“Robert!!” he whispered yelled, his face immediately heating up at noticing everyone focused on them.
“Yes love?” Robert asked as if he was doing nothing wrong. “Don’t you want to take a few pictures with me?”
“I can but not with your lips on me!” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, trying to get out of Robert’s arms.
“Why?” Robert whined, holding onto the older lad just a bit tighter.
“Because,” Aaron groaned, getting out of the green eyed lad’s arms and looking over to Holden to make sure he was okay, the toddler still posing for the cameras. “Would you look at him? He’s a better popstar than you are.”
Robert hummed his agreement, unable to hold back his wide smile as he saw the 3 year old posing over and over again for the cameras. “Our turn, c’mon,” he said, pecking Aaron’s cheek quickly before wrapping an arm around his waist and moving him more centered for the cameras.
Aaron felt stiff, it was impossible not to. Everything seemed forced, his smile, how he was standing, even his arm at his side that wasn’t around Robert felt like it was in the wrong place.
“It’s okay love,” Robert whispered in his ear. “What’s got you all nervous? Is it everyone looking at you?”
Aaron swallowed thickly and could barely feel himself nodding as he felt Robert’s grip on his waist tighten.
“You know they’re not even looking at me, all eyes are on you,” Robert said softly, making the older lad snap his head at him and look at him wide eyed. “They’re all focused on how gorgeous you look in that suit.”
Aaron couldn’t hide his growing blush but he sure as hell could try to bite back his furious grin and duck his head. And Robert wasn’t helping at all as he kept whispering in his ear, if possible making his cheeks heat up even more at what he was saying. If Aaron was being honest though he’s never been so grateful for the younger lad, even if he was whispering about what they could do later tonight when they got home from the party, about how amazing he looked in his suit but he would look even better with it off because it completely took his attention away from the paps as he just grinned and blushed up at the younger lad.
“I hate you,” he muttered through a soft smile, pulling Robert just a bit closer to his side.
“Hate you too,” Robert said just as quietly, grinning down at Aaron before carefully dipping his head and connecting their lips.
And Aaron would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the cameras flashing even more rapidly. But right now Robert was kissing his so gently like any second he could break, he didn’t care how many people were watching them.
“Okay daddy, let papa go so he win trophy,” Holden said, tugging on his father’s suit jacket.
Aaron almost wanted to groan as he heard the toddler, but let go of Robert anyway.
“Later,” Robert winked at him, patting his bum a few times before reaching for his hand.
Aaron hummed, just thinking about later tonight had his stomach twisting into knots.
The three made their way inside though, finally away from the cameras and to their seats where Jack and Diane already were.
Aaron was a bit surprised that they were in the very first row, but then again Robert was performing and he was up for three awards. Well, that and he was Robert Sugden after all. And of course Ed was right on Robert’s other side and next to the ginger lad was Sam Smith, and Aaron was determined to meet him sometime tonight. Robert has been trying to steer him away from the older man all night, but one way or another Aaron was going to meet him.
Holden was on his lap, a beer was in his hand and Robert’s arm was wrapped around him. Maybe award shows weren’t so bad after all.
At least that’s what he thought before the show started. But as soon as the lights were dimmed and it actually began Robert was a right mess.
The younger lad couldn’t sit still no matter what he did. His knee was bouncing, he was shifting in his seat every five seconds and was muttering to himself every time an award was announced. Even Holden was side eyeing his papa, wondering what was going on with him.
“R what’s wrong?” Aaron whispered.
“Nothing’s wrong mate, he’s always like this,” Ed said as he leaned over the curly haired lad.
Aaron almost wanted to roll his eyes, clearly something was wrong with how much Robert was fidgeting. “You nervous?” he asked quietly, seeing the younger lad bite his lip and nod.
He let out a small breath, knowing that Robert has been nominated for Grammy’s before over the past couple years, but he hasn’t won one yet. Now he was nominated for three and there was no denying Robert was aching to win just one of them.
“Love it’ll be fine, alright?” Aaron said softly, rubbing the younger lad’s thigh. “Win or lose everyone is so proud of you, you’ve worked so hard, that’s all that matters.”
Robert let out a small breath, glancing up towards the presenter on stage before shrugging.
“Hey, look at me,” Aaron said, squeezing his leg, and only when Robert’s eyes shifted to his did he continue. “You have no reason to be nervous,” he said almost firmly. “You are an amazing musician with so much talent, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll be walking away with every single award you’re put up for tonight.”
Robert opened his mouth, almost about to tell the older lad that he probably won’t win, like every other year he’s come he’ll be knocked out, but Aaron quickly stopped him.
“Don’t,” Aaron said, recognizing that face anywhere. “No matter what happens it’s gonna be okay,” he said, kissing the younger lad’s cheek and rubbing his back. “You’ll still be the caring, funny and gifted person you are, nothing will change that, this doesn’t make you anything less,” he said softly. “You’re still going to be an amazing songwriter, a great father and boyfriend, it’s all alright,” he said, trying to get this through his head and calm him down. “I’m so incredibly proud of you for being here at all, for getting nominated and for all the work you’ve done for this album. You deserve this R.”
Robert swallowed thickly as he looked at Aaron and saw how serious he was, how everything he said he meant completely. And how badly did he want to scream “I love you!!” at the top of his lungs so everyone could hear, so the world knew exactly how he feels about Aaron Dingle.
But instead he leaned forward and captured the older lad’s lips with his own, letting out a deep breath against him and for the first time at an award show felt his nerves calm.
“Thank you,” he barely breathed out. “You have no clue how happy I am that you’re here, all of you,” Robert said, looking down the row at Holden, his mum and Jack.
“And we’re all happy to be here too,” Aaron said through a soft smile as he carded his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s hair. “No matter what happens tonight we all love you,” he said before pecking Robert’s lips and settling back in his seat.
“Oh yeah? All of you love me?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk coming to him as he looked at the older lad.
Aaron rolled his eyes, squeezing Robert’s thigh and leaving that question unanswered for the time being. Instead he focused his gaze back on stage, pretending to actually be watching what was happening until he felt Robert’s eyes off him. Only then did he actually breathe, avoiding that tiny crisis.
But only a half hour later was there an actual crisis because one of the categories Robert was up for was announced, and it was almost immediate the younger lad started freaking out again.
He was holding Aaron’s hand so tight he lost feeling in it and for the life of him he couldn’t sit still as they named all the nominees. And just when the winner was about to be announced Robert stilled where he was, Aaron not even sure if he was breathing or was just frozen.
“And the winner for Album of the Year is… “Coming Home” Robert Sugden!!”
Aaron felt himself go numb, Holden going absolutely berserk on his lap and Diane nearly crying, but Robert was just sitting there. His jaw slack, eyes wide and not moving a muscle until Holden was shaking him and screaming “Papa!! Papa you win!!”.
“Robert!!” Aaron said excitedly. “Babe that’s you! You won!!” he nearly screamed, unable to control himself as he heard Robert’s name.
Robert opened and closed his mouth, slowly turning to look at Aaron and as soon as he saw the older lad nodding at him he didn’t waste a second before lunging at him. He wrapped his arms around him and didn’t even try to hold back his tears as he kissed Aaron, the blue eyed lad smiling against him and Robert could feel how proud he was of him, how much this meant to both of them.
He didn’t care if he was kissing Aaron on camera, if he looked like a lunatic as he got up to accept his award because he’s been waiting for this moment for years, and now that it was actually here he didn’t believe it.
The grammy on the podium in front of him didn’t seem real, even as he shook the presenters hand and had the award passed to him it was still too good to be true.
“I uhm, first off I want to apologize for crying,” he said sheepishly into the microphone, wiping his wet cheeks and hearing Loud laughs erupt from the audience. “I don’t think I can put into words how much this means to me, I never thought this day would come… I just… I want to thank my family of course, my mum who taught me how much hard work really pays off, and my son Holden for being himself and making me happier than I thought I ever could be,” he said through a quiet laugh, catching the toddler’s eye and winking at him. “But the person I really want to thank is my boyfriend Aaron,” Robert said softly. “He… He’s everything to me, and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs but at the end of the day he’s always there for me, he’s my home… This album was for my family, so thank you guys for giving me a place to call home when I thought I would never get one back.”
Robert bit his lip, his eyes locked on Aaron’s and seeing the older lad close to crying, almost making him cry again. So with one more final thank you to everyone the audience clapped and cheered, Robert picking up his award and heading off stage.
Even with the Grammy in his hand it didn’t feel real. As he made his way back to his seat he was in a type of a daze and the only thing that brought him out of it was Aaron’s lips on his once he sat down.
He only wondered about the other two awards and if he could keep himself together for those. Already it’s been an amazing night, but the thought of winning the other two categories and able to share this moment with his family was more than Robert could ever ask for.
But Robert did win another award, this one being for Song of the Year for One Call Away, and yes, he did cry again. This time he must’ve kissed Holden a thousand times, hugged his mum and even cried on Jack’s shoulder for a second before kissing Aaron and heading back up on stage to collect his second award of the night.
Of course he thanked his family again, this time adding in his management team, Adam, Ed and Clara and keeping his speech a bit shorter.
At this point though Robert knew it couldn’t get any better than this. He felt like he was on top of the world, that nothing could ruin his mood.
It wasn’t too soon after getting his second award though that he and Ed had to get up and go backstage to get ready to perform. So he kissed Aaron, hugged Holden until he was whining and waved to his mum and Jack before heading off with the ginger lad and getting his guitar situated.
The last award he was nominated for was with Ed for Best Pop Collaboration. And to say they both wanted it was a huge understatement. It was for I’m a Mess, and Ed has won Grammy’s before but another couldn’t hurt, and for Robert getting three Grammy’s in one night was a dream come true.
For now though they performed the song, their usual enthusiasm radiating out to the audience who was on their feet and dancing and clapping as they sang along. What Robert really noticed though was Holden right in front of the stage, dancing like no one was watching even though the cameras were focused on him half the time they were performing. He was more than happy the world found the toddler just as adorable as he did, and even Ed was laughing as he saw the 3 year old get twirled by Aaron and the two not having a care in the world as they performed.
By the end of it both Robert and Ed were breathless, wide smiles coming over them as everyone was screaming and cheering. But Robert still had one more song to perform so he only had a minute to hand off his guitar, take a quick breather and get in front of his microphone. For once he decided not to play any instruments, wanting to actually walk around and only focus on one thing. So when the soft ring of the piano started it was almost immediate he looked to Holden, this song being for his little guy.
And Holden was quick to recognize the notes to One Call Away, singing at the top of his lungs like he always does when he hears this song, whether it’s on the radio or his papa sings it to him.
Robert couldn’t help the wide smile that came to him as he saw the toddler, and didn’t waste a second before hopping down the stage stairs, still singing into the microphone and the camera following him until he stopped right in front of the 3 year old and knelt down to him.
Holden’s little voice mixed with his papa’s started ringing through the speakers and if anyone said their heart wasn’t melting at the sight on the big screen they were lying. Even if Holden tried to sing “spiderman” than the actual lyric “superman” no one wanted to stop him. If anything everyone was laughing as they heard the 3 year old and saw him raise his eyebrows at his papa like “you know he’s the better superhero”.
Robert couldn’t help but chuckle into the microphone himself as they sang, Holden always telling him to change the words, and after this he might.
The two sang until the song was over, Robert’s eyes catching Aaron’s every now and then and the older lad’s soft grin was impossible to miss as he watched the two. With a quick kiss to Holden he went back up on stage though, hearing some of the Aarondest cheers of the night as he set his microphone back on his stand.
He waved to the crowd, flashing them a quick smile before heading backstage and having to stealthily get back to his seat as the show went on.
As soon as he got back to his seat though Holden was on him, hugging him and refusing to let him go, and he wasn’t the only one. Aaron kept trying to kiss him, his mum wanted to hug him and even Ed clapped him on the back and teased him about being a cute dad. And if Robert was being honest he was loving every second of it.
The only thing that made it a bit better was when they were getting ready to announce the award for Best Pop Collaboration.
Like before Robert was still, Aaron frozen in his own seat and Ed bouncing his leg nervously, but luckily Holden was there to calm them down and say of course they were going to win, his papa already won everything tonight.
When the two heard their names though it was a like a huge weight was lifted off of Robert’s chest, immediately standing up, punching his fist into the air and squeezing Ed so tightly he wasn’t sure the older lad was breathing.
Three awards… He actually won all three awards and his family was here to share this moment with him. It was surreal and something he would never forget, the way Aaron kissed him when he won, how his mum was crying and Holden was saying a very Loud “I told you you would win everything!!”.
Now that the award show was done though the only thing Robert had on his mind was to steal Aaron away and properly celebrate his winnings tonight. But first he and the older lad had a party to go to, and there was no doubt in his mind that tonight for the first time that felt like forever he was going to get drunk. And oh, he couldn’t wait.
Notes:
So sorry for this update taking so long, I really had to focus on work, school and finals for a bit. I hope everyone in college, uni, or who had finals in general did well on their tests :) Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !! And happy holidays !!
Chapter 13
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aaron bit his lip as he looked at Ross and Pete across from him, trying his hardest to figure out how they would react to what he just told them.
He just landed from LA about two hours ago and he was exhausted, making his brain work a bit slower than normal but he still had an idea as to what the two were thinking. Ross was a bit wide eyed, looking like he didn’t know what to say, and then there was Pete, clearly trying to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t say anything he regretted.
“So he just… Blacked out?” Ross asked quietly, leaning forward in his seat like it was a secret.
Aaron nodded as he looked down to his hands that were folded on the table. “He didn’t remember a thing, and I mean absolutely nothing from the night before,” he muttered.
“And I’m going to assume he was beyond hungover in the morning,” Pete said in a monotone voice.
“You have no idea,” Aaron mumbled into his hands. “Stayed in the bedroom with the blinds shut and could barely utter a couple words to me, just “get me some water”, and that was about it.”
He shifted his gaze to his best mates across from him and they were still wearing the same looks. Ross that was a bit shocked and Pete just looked angry.
“Well I mean like he won three grammies, that’s a good excuse to celebrate, right?” Ross asked, trying to see the curly haired lad’s side.
“Yeah, of course,” Aaron said without hesitation. “I mean don’t get me wrong I was drinking too and got drunk but he… I dunno, it was just intense.”
“What happened?” Pete asked quietly, seeing that the older lad wasn’t telling them something.
Aaron chewed on the inside of his cheek as he looked up at the younger lad through his eye lashes and shrugged. “You know how he gets when he drinks,” he muttered softly. “Just kinda handsy and all over the place and-...” he shook his head, focusing back on his hands on the table.
“Did he do something to you?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows, trying his hardest not to sound angry but even Ross went tense next to him.
“No, no, of course not,” Aaron said quickly. “I mean like I was drunk too and you know how we can get a bit carried away with each other…” he trailed off, giving them that silent look. “What’s bugging me about the whole thing is what he was like when we were broken up though… Like Ed said that last night was nothing compared to how he usually is when he goes out, and just that by itself scares me, ya know?”
Pete let out a deep breath into his hands as he nodded to himself, not even able to imagine what Robert is like at the worst of times when he drinks.
“Can you give us the full story? Like what actually happened?” Ross asked, wanting to piece everything together.
“Yeah,” Aaron breathed out, figuring he probably should’ve told them the full story first but was still a bit on autopilot from the flight. “So uhm, after the award show we dropped Holden off back at the house with Diane and Jack and we went right to the party, and I’m not even sure we were there for two minutes before he led me to the bar.”
“I’m sure he was on some type of high from winning,” Ross nodded, knowing that’s exactly how he would be feeling if he was Robert.
“Oh he was, trust me,” Aaron breathed out. “And so we were at the bar drinking and all night these super famous people were everywhere and anytime anyone was taking a shot Robert was right there, taking one with them. It was just drink after drink after drink and he only stopped after he basically passed out on the bar… I mean I was a bit drunk too but at least I was able to talk and walk around.”
“How long were you there before he passed out?”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth as he looked up at Pete, this also being a main concern of his. “Maybe two hours,” he muttered. “We didn’t even dance or anything, he just drank and I just kinda sat with him to make sure he was okay.”
“So are you just upset about him blacking out or are you nervous about him drinking too much?” Ross asked to clarify.
“Well no…” Aaron said quietly. “I mean there are just a couple concerns I have… And a few things did upset me, but I just wanted to talk to you guys and meet up to get it off my chest.”
“Of course Aaron, we’re always here when you need us,” Pete said, not wanting the older lad to think that them meeting up was a waste of time. “So what’s making you so worried and upset about the whole thing?”
“It scares me how carried away he can get with the drinks in such a short amount of time,” he started off, memories of Robert downing one drink after another flooding his mind and the younger lad not having a care in the world. “And I was a bit upset because in the morning we were all supposed to get up and go to breakfast, and just spend a nice day together because we’d been there for Robert and it was just work, work, work for him. But he couldn’t even roll over in bed without groaning and Holden was disappointed and I was annoyed because he promised him we would do something fun,” Aaron explained as he shook his head. “I mean Holden and I spent the day at the beach together and had a good time but I know he wanted Robert there, and I couldn’t explain to him that his father was too hungover to spend time with him, ya know?”
“What’d you tell Holden? That he was sick or something?” Pete asked, thanking the waitress that started passing out their teas on the table before she walked away again.
Aaron breathed out a barely audible “yeah” as he nodded and played with his fingers. “And the next day he felt better, but that was also the same day we left, and now here I am while he’s at his flat with Holden…”
“Well did he talk to you about it at all? Like how he blacked out, did he apologize?” Ross asked before taking a sip of his drink.
“He asked me what happened and why his head hurt,” Aaron said quietly. “I mean that’s when I knew he didn’t remember a thing, but I still explained it to him and all he did was nod and go take a shower.”
“That’s so shitty,” Pete muttered as he shook his head. “I mean yeah, he had the right to celebrate because he won three grammies, that’s crazy, like congrats to him, really. But he should’ve kept in mind that you guys had plans the next day, and even think about you when you guys were out. It sounds like he wasn’t paying any mind to you at all, but was more focused on just getting drunk,” he said with raised eyebrows.
Aaron looked at his best mate across from him, and he could see the worry flash across Pete’s face, the younger lad thinking he said the wrong thing, or said too much. But Aaron found himself nodding along with what he said.
“I wasn’t upset about him celebrating, not at all because he deserved it and I really am proud of him for winning the awards,” Aaron said, his eyes still focused on his hands. “But like I said it just makes me nervous how much he drinks and how it affects him.”
“You have the right to worry Aaron, I mean you’re a father and that’s kind of scary,” Pete agreed. “Definitely talk to him though, let him know how you’re feeling about it.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he looked over to Ross and saw him nodding along. “Well it’s good to know it wasn’t just me who was just overthinking everything… I thought I was just worrying about nothing but it’s good to talk to you guys and get an opinion,” he said, reaching for his coat on the back of his chair and pulling it on.
“Of course mate,” Ross said, clapping Aaron on the back as he got up himself and finished off his drink. “And after you talk to him please go take an 18 hour nap or something, you look exhausted.”
“Yeah, I kind of hate travelling,” Aaron mumbled as the three of them began to make their way outside.
“Haven’t noticed,” Pete teased, making the older lad roll his eyes playfully at him.
Aaron said a quick goodbye to Ross as he saw him walking off towards his car, but stopped Pete before he could open his own car door. “Hey mate, wait a second.”
Pete quickly snapped his head up, stopping himself before climbing in his car and looking to the blue eyed lad. “Forget something?”
“Well I… I wanted to uhm, wanted to talk to you about Holden’s birthday,” he said quietly, shifting his weight on his feet. “I know it’s two months away but I wanted to give you some time to think about it, but I was gonna ask if you wanted to come and-”
“Yes!” Pete said immediately. “Yes, of course yes!”
Aaron couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he saw the younger lad nearly jumping he was so excited. “Alright that was easy,” he said jokingly. “And I was also going to mention a Rovers football game,” he said, quickly gaining Pete’s attention again. “Robert got us tickets to see them play in London, but he has a show in Brighton and can’t come… I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come with me and R?”
“Sure,” Pete said through a soft smile. “I think the last game we caught we were maybe 19 or 20,” he said chuckled quietly. “When is it?”
“It’s March 15th, so about three weeks from now.”
“I’ll be sure to take off work,” Pete said happily. “And is Robert gonna be home for Holden’s birthday?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, knowing the toddler’s birthday was in April.
“Yeah, he just has the one show to kind of kick off the tour I guess and then he’ll be here for R’s birthday before actually leaving and doing the first leg through Asia,” Aaron explained.
Pete hummed and nodded, knowing he’ll have to physically and mentally prepare himself to see Robert and be near him for a full day. But it’s Holden’s birthday, he was sure the younger lad will be on his best behavior and he will be as well.
“Well I can’t wait for the game and to see Holden,” Pete said as he grinned to himself.
Aaron smiled back at him, nodding his agreement before waving to the younger lad and heading towards his car.
He was actually really looking forward to the football game. Granted he was a little upset when Robert said he couldn’t go, but at least he was home for Holden’s birthday, the younger lad made sure of that. But now Pete could go and he would be lying a bit if he said he couldn’t wait to see his hometown team with the guy he grew up watching them with.
As he drove to Robert’s flat though he knew he needed to figure out what he wanted to say to the curly haired lad. He always got stuck with these sort of things, became worked up or nervous, not wanting Robert to get mad at him. But he really wanted to talk about what happened at the party and the day after.
When he pulled up to the flat complex though he had an idea as to what he wanted to say, and he just hoped that the younger lad didn’t take what he was going to say the wrong way.
When he got up to the flat to look around for the curly haired lad though he couldn’t even take two steps out of the lift before feeling a pair of little arms wrap around him.
“Daddy!!” Holden said excitedly, raising his arms and wanting to be picked up.
“Hey buddy,” Aaron said through a soft smile, scooping the toddler up and giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Where’s your father?” he asked, looking around, seeing the younger lad nowhere in sight.
“Me and papa very sleepy so we cuddle and take nap but papa still sleep in bed,” Holden said, pointing down the hall to the bedroom.
“Yeah daddy could use a nap too,” Aaron said as he carried the toddler to the bedroom.
And sure enough when he pushed the door open Robert was sprawled out on the bed, snoring lightly to himself and clearly in a very deep sleep.
“Papa wake up! Daddy home!!” Holden nearly yelled, jumping in his father’s arms.
All that was heard in return though was a low groan, the curly haired lad slowly rolling over and just barely opening his eyes. “Hi Aaron,” he mumbled into his pillow.
“Hey love, good nap?” Aaron asked through a quiet laugh as he carried Holden over to the bed, the toddler immediately running his little fingers through his papa’s curls.
Robert hummed, leaning into the 3 year old’s touch before resting his head on Holden’s lap. “This little guy let me cuddle him to death so I’d say it was pretty good.”
Holden giggled to himself, nodding as his papa wouldn’t let him move at all while they were taking a nap. “It okay papa, love you,” he said, dipping his head and kissing his father’s hair.
“Love you too munchkin,” Robert said, softly smiling up at the toddler and earning one more quick kiss from him. “How was Ross?” he asked, turning his attention to Aaron.
“He was good,” Aaron breathed out, kicking off his shoes and joining the two on the bed. “Pete was there too.”
“Why?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows at the same time Holden gasped, just at hearing his uncle’s name growing excited.
“Cause I called him and asked to meet up,” Aaron shrugged. “He’s actually coming with us to the football game in a few weeks, how fun will that be?” he asked, smiling at Holden who was nearly squealing.
“Yes!! I no see uncle Pete in so so long, I miss him!!” Holden practically yelled.
“I thought Ross was going to go to the game with you guys,” Robert said as he sat up and looked at the older lad confused.
“Well I thought it would be nice if my mate who’s actually from Donny and likes the team came instead,” Aaron said as he laid down on the bed and pulled Holden into his side.
Robert looked at the older lad for a second with raised eyebrows, seeing Aaron shrug before he focused his attention on Holden.
“Buddy I have to talk to papa for a bit, can you go play?” Aaron asked the toddler.
Holden let out a quiet breath, wanting to cuddle with his daddy for a little bit but nodded anyway and shuffled off to his room.
Aaron watched as the 3 year old left the room, making sure he was all the way out before turning to Robert, seeing the younger lad’s eyes already on him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Robert breathed out as he shook his head and laid down on the bed. “What’d you want to talk about?”
“Well uhm I just thought we should talk about what happened in LA,” Aaron said quietly, biting his lip and shifting himself on the bed.
“What happened in LA?” Robert asked confused.
Aaron kept his eyes on the younger lad for a second, opening and closing his mouth as he at least thought that Robert would want to talk about it too. “About uhm… Well you know, about you blacking out and everything.”
“Oh… Right,” Robert said slowly.
“Yeah, right,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows, the younger lad looking everywhere except him. “Babe I just… First off I want you to know how proud I am of you winning those awards-”
“Aaron I was just celebrating a bit, that’s it,” Robert said as he shook his head. “It’s nothing more than that.”
“Well… It kind of is,” Aaron said quietly. “I mean I’ve never seen you like that R, and I dunno it was a lot.”
Robert bit his lip, giving the older lad a noncommittal shrug as he kept his gaze locked on the foot of his bed.
“Are you gonna say something or just-”
“What do you want me to say Aaron?” Robert asked with a touch of edge to his voice. “Like I said I was celebrating and maybe got a bit carried away because I haven’t been able to drink in months, that’s all.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth as he saw Robert push himself off the bed and begin pacing, almost like he was trying to calm down. He didn’t understand why the younger lad was getting so mad so quickly, he didn’t think he said anything wrong.
“R it’s okay, I just wanted to talk about it a little bit, I’m not trying to attack you or say you did something wrong. I’m just-”
“But you are Aaron!” Robert said, snapping his head towards the older lad and squaring his eyes at him. “That was the first night in months I was free, I was actually able to let loose and here you are making me seem like a bad guy!!”
“...The first night in months you were free?” Aaron said so quietly he wasn’t sure he was heard, his eyes locked on Robert as he got up from the bed. “Robert what the fuck is that supposed to mean?! Have I been locking you up?! Is being a father such a huge inconvenience to your drunken lifestyle?!” he screamed.
And he just watched as Robert stared right back at him, not moving a muscle or making a sound in the now silent and heavy room.
“You’re unbelieveable,” Aaron barely whispered, shaking his head as he felt tears pool in his eyes. “Don’t even think about coming anywhere near me and Holden until you’ve figured your priorities out,” he said, already turning on his heel and stomping out of the room to get the toddler.
“Aaron…” Robert said quietly, following after the older lad.
“Robert don’t,” Aaron said firmly as he pushed open Holden’s bedroom door. “R c’mon, we’re going home.”
Holden pushed himself off the floor and skipped over to his daddy before he got scooped up. But as soon as he was in his father’s arms he noticed him nearly fast walking towards the lift. His papa kept trying to talk to his daddy but if anything he saw his father walking faster and faster.
“Papa come home with us?” Holden asked his daddy softly.
“No buddy, papa is gonna stay here,” Aaron breathed out, getting the 3 year old’s shoes on him before slipping his own pair on.
“Aaron, listen I’m sorry-”
“Robert,” Aaron warned, far too furious to even talk to the younger lad right now.
“Babe…” Robert said softly, his heart nearly breaking at the sight of Aaron on the verge of tears. “I just… I didn’t mean-”
“Robert don’t!!” Aaron screamed, making the younger lad still and Holden grip at his coat just a bit tighter.
He kept his eyes on Robert, willing his tears not to fall as he shook his head at him and carried Holden towards the lift, praying he could keep himself together at least until he got home.
*~*
Holden glanced towards the stairs as he bit his lip and pet Rob, trying to do something to pass the time.
His daddy told him to play downstairs but since he told him that he hasn’t seen his father, and that by itself worried him. But a second later he heard the doorbell go off, his head snapping up at the noise and carefully pushing himself off the couch.
“Daddy,” he said, glancing towards the stairs, not knowing who was here and that he can’t answer the door without his father.
His head quickly turned back to the door though at hearing it open, growing more and more nervous before he saw a familiar brown eyed man come in.
“Uncle Pete!!!” he screamed, sprinting towards the older man and feeling him immediately scoop him up. “I miss you so so so much,” Holden mumbled into his neck.
“I missed you too buddy,” Pete said through a soft smile, squeezing the toddler so tightly he wasn’t sure if he was breathing. “And you have no clue how badly I want to keep hugging you and I’m gonna give you a million and one kisses but first your daddy needs me. Do you know where he is?”
“I give you a million and two kisses!” Holden said, making his uncle laugh before he pecked his cheek. “And daddy in room. He sad after we say bye bye to papa,” he said quietly.
“Okay big guy,” Pete said softly, rubbing the toddler’s back before carefully setting him down. “Why don’t you go play with Rob and I’m gonna check on daddy. I’ll be back down to play in a little bit.”
Holden nodded at his uncle, making sure to give him one more hug and kiss before he watched the older man head for the stairs.
Pete made his way through the all too familiar house before he reached the bathroom, carefully knocking on the door and hearing a muffled “come in”.
“Aaron” he asked softly, popping his head in and immediately seeing the older lad sitting on the floor, his knees pulled into his chest and eyes pink and puffy. “Mate,” he said sadly, immediately going over to him and wrapping his arms around him.
“I-I’m sorry,” Aaron sniffled as he shook his head against the younger lad’s chest. “I tried calling Ross b-but-”
“Stop, it’s more than fine,” Pete said, pulling Aaron even closer and rubbing his back. “What happened mate? I thought you were gonna talk to Robert, did you guys get in a fight or something?”
Aaron nodded, trying to stop his constant tears and pull himself together. “He just… R-he said some things that made i-it sound like he doesn’t like being a father… T-that Holden and I keep him back from drinking and- a-and- that’s more important than us.”
Pete let out a quiet breath as he looked down at his best mate and gently released him. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” he said, not even believing he was sticking up for the younger lad. “Just… I dunno, I don’t want to say anything and make you get upset with me…”
“You don’t have to say anything,” Aaron sniffled to himself. “It’s just… It’s what he said and then didn’t say, I-I don’t know what to think.”
“Haven’t heard you say that before,” Pete said slightly joking, trying to lighten the mood a tiny bit. And at least he got a small laugh out of the older lad. “What’d you tell him? Like when he didn’t say anything to you?”
Aaron released a few shaky breaths before explaining everything that happened to Pete.
It was nearly impossible not to notice the younger lad going tense at what he told him though. It was clear Pete was holding everything he had in him to not just start screaming, and saying how furious he was with Robert. But if Aaron was being honest, he was too.
He didn’t want to get in a fight, he didn’t want Robert to get upset, and now it was so much more than that. Now it wasn’t just about the drinking, the blacking out or breaking his promise to Holden. Now it was about Robert being a father, about how committed he was. And from today Aaron wasn’t so sure how serious the younger lad was. He said he cares, says he’ll alway be there, but now Aaron didn’t know if Robert really meant it. And that more than anything terrified him.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath as he looked at the door in front of him, lifting up his fist slowly and knocking gently on the door.
He wasn’t sure if Aaron or Holden was up yet, but after not sleeping at all the night before and his mind running a mile a minute he had to come, had to talk the older lad and apologize profusely. Even if he did that though he knew he wouldn’t be that easily forgiven for what happened yesterday.
When no one answered the door though he took out his key for Aaron’s house and pushed the door open, carefully looking around the foyer before making his way fully in. But a moment later he heard someone in the kitchen, and Robert didn’t waste any time before rushing into the room, ready to say how sorry he was to Aaron before his mouth snapped shut at seeing who was there.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at the older lad.
Pete snapped his head up, stilling for a second as he saw the green eyed lad. “Aaron called me yesterday and I stayed over,” he said quietly, looking back to the breakfast he was making.
“And you couldn’t go home because…?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows.
“Because I had a best mate that needed me and a nephew I missed,” Pete said plainly, not picking his head up.
“So now you’re what? You know you can go ho-”
“Robert.”
Robert spun around, his eyes immediately catching Aaron’s.
The older lad looked exhausted, his hair ruffled, eyes behind his glasses pink and puffy and bags obvious. And he couldn’t even take a step towards Aaron without him shaking his head at him and backing away.
“Babe…” Robert barely whispered. “Can we please talk?”
Aaron looked at the younger lad for a second before shifting his eyes to Pete, seeing him biting his lip and focusing on what he was making.
“You don’t have to look at him for permission Aaron, this is between you and me,” Robert said, stepping in view of Pete and making the blue eyed lad look at him.
“Would you get off your high horse for one fucking second?” Pete muttered, straining not to start yelling at the younger lad for everything he’s done to Aaron, not just yesterday but for everything over the past couple of years.
Robert clenched his jaw, looking behind him over his shoulder and just as he was about to say something Aaron stopped him.
“Li can you take Holden out for a bit?” he asked quietly. “I’m sure Soph would love to see him.”
“Aaron c’mon he doesn’t need to take him,” Robert breathed out as he ran a hand over his face.
“No, actually I think he does,” Aaron said, it not being up for discussion and giving Pete a silent look, the younger lad nodding at him and shuffling out of the kitchen to get Holden.
Robert watched as Pete left and it wasn’t until he had a sleeping Holden in his arms and was walking out the door did Aaron actually look at him. Even then though he didn’t say anything, just bore his eyes into him and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Aaron I don’t… I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am for what happened yesterday,” Robert said, shifting his gaze to the floor.
Aaron just looked at the younger lad, didn’t move a muscle or make a peep as he raised his eyebrows at him. He had nothing to say to him, still wasn’t sure if he even wanted to talk or listen to what he had to say.
“I know I can get carried away…” Robert said quietly, seeing as Aaron wasn’t saying anything. “And I know the effects drinking has on me, and it makes me angry and someone who just isn’t pleasant to be around, and I’m sorry for that… I’m so sorry about everything. Just yesterday, blacking out, breaking my promise to Holden about going out, just… Everything,” he barely whispered.
And still Aaron didn’t say anything, keeping his gaze locked on Robert and clenching his jaw. “Robert what happened yesterday… What you said was really fucked up and frankly it’s making me question how serious you are about being a father, about being in this relationship.”
“Aaron you know I’m 100% committed to you and Holden,” Robert said without hesitation, taking a careful step towards the older lad. “I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday, I don’t think I was at all really when I said that… But please, please know that nothing like that will ever happen again.”
“Be more specific,” Aaron said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No more breaking promises,” Robert said almost immediately. “I’m here, I’m yours and Holden’s and nothing in the world makes me happier than having you two in my life,” he said softly, seeing the older lad relax the tiniest bit.
“And the drinking?” Aaron asked quietly, biting his lip and looking to the floor. “Because R I didn’t want to fight… I just wanted to sit and talk calmly like people in relationships do. I wanted to share with you what I was thinking and in return you said some things that really really hurt me.”
“I know I…” Robert began, rubbing a hand over his face and almost wanting to hit himself for how awful he was acting the day before. “Aaron I don’t have an excuse… All I can say is that it will never happen again, I swear.”
Aaron shook his head as he shuffled on his feet, feeling the younger lad’s eyes lock on him. And he didn’t know how long it would take for him to forgive Robert for yesterday for what he said and didn’t say. Didn’t know if he could believe the younger lad when he promised something because of his track record in the past. But he still listened to Robert, still sat and talked with him about the drinking, and said everything he wanted to yesterday but couldn’t.
He talked about Holden, about being a father and a boyfriend and what that meant. And he was grateful that Robert was listening, that he was clearly sorry about the day before and about what happened in LA. But it wasn’t enough to forgive him. It was like taking ten steps back, going from there and seeing where they end up.
*~*
“These cannot be our seats…” Pete said in shock as he looked around the massive football stadium.
“Uncle Pete papa get bestest seats all the time,” Holden said very seriously, making his daddy laugh.
“Well this will be the first and last time I’ll be thanking Robert Sugden,” Pete said jokingly as he shifted the toddler, trying to get him to sit still on his lap as he took his seat next to the blue eyed lad.
“He was really upset he couldn’t make it, but I’m sure he’ll have more fun performing than watching some football team he doesn’t know anything about,” Aaron said as he pulled off his coat, showing off his Rovers jersey that Robert got him for Christmas.
Pete hummed his agreement as he wrapped his arms around Holden, trying to still the excited 3 year old that kept bouncing on him. “How are things? Between you guys I mean?” he asked quietly, knowing the two had their fight a few weeks back and they were taking things day by day.
“Good,” Aaron breathed out, offering the younger lad a small smile. “Granted about a week after we fought we got in another fight because he didn’t understand why I was being kind of stand offish with him… But we’re okay now.”
“Stand offish as in?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Aaron glanced down at Holden, making sure he wasn’t really paying attention and thankfully he was more focused on the pitch than them. “I asked him not to sleep over for a bit and ya know like… Certain physical things were stopped,” he said, hoping the younger lad would get his silent message.
“Gotcha,” Pete said through a chuckle. “But now things are back to normal?”
“Yeah, have been for a week or so,” Aaron nodded to himself. “I just needed him to understand what he said really hurt me and how serious I am when it comes to this one,” he said, running his fingers through Holden’s hair.
“That’s good though Aaron,” Pete said softly. “He should know that not everything he wants can be so easily handed to him.”
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over at his best mate and hummed. The past couple weeks have been hard, he’s not going to lie. But with the upcoming month he was at a loss of what could happen.
Robert is here for Holden’s birthday, but after that he leaves for the first leg of his tour, and it’s impossible to predict what will happen. He wished he could be there tonight for his first show in Brighton, but the tickets for the game have been bought for months. And if he was being honest he was really looking forward to spending some real time with Holden and Pete, like the old days.
But of course just as the game was starting Holden nearly begged for his daddy’s phone so he could call his papa, and Aaron had no objections. So he handed his phone over the the 3 year old, him immediately facetiming his papa and screaming how excited he was for the game.
He showed his papa the pitch and even pointed out the men that were carrying food and screaming at people to buy it. And Robert must’ve said at least a thousand times how badly he wished he could be there, but all Holden did was wish his papa good luck with his show and told him that he’s the world’s bestest singer, and that he shouldn’t be nervous.
“Papa look!!” Holden said excitedly, seeing the players run down the pitch with the ball. “Daddy say we play football when it warm out and I gon be best football player!”
“You know your daddy was a pretty good player buddy, I’m sure you’ve got some of his skill,” Pete said, nudging Aaron and making him shrug sheepishly.
“But Robert’s pretty bad, hopefully you got my genes and not his,” Aaron said teasingly, focusing the camera back on them and not the pitch.
“Hey,” Robert whined. “I’m not that bad.”
“Papa you trip upstairs,” Holden said, knowing very well of how clumsy his father is. “When big show over you come home and we play,” he nodded to himself, then he’ll be able to see how bad his papa really is.
“I should be back in the morning big guy,” Robert said quietly, biting his lip.
“What time is the show done?” Aaron asked, grateful their seats were in a box and not in the screaming crowd so they could actually talk.
“I should be done around 11 but there’s a party I’m going to with Ed and Adam to celebrate the kick off of the tour.”
Aaron bit his lip as he glanced over to Pete, the younger lad clearly hearing Robert over the speaker but kept his focus on the game. “Alright well have fun and remember we’re planning R’s birthday party tomorrow.”
“I know love, just a few drinks and I’m having a driver bring me back to my flat,” Robert said, clearly walking around some huge stadium and looking like he was multitasking, trying to organize something on stage and then offstage.
“Sure,” Aaron said quietly. “Well uhm the games on so I’ll call you later, alright?”
“Sounds good,” Robert said, smiling at the camera. “Holden I love you buddy, have fun with daddy.”
“Love you papa!!” Holden said, grabbing the phone from his father and grinning wildly at him.
“Bye love,” Aaron said, waving at the camera. “Have fun tonight and good luck,” he said, offering the younger lad a gentle smile.
Robert waved back, seeing Aaron, Holden and Pete on the screen. He said one final goodbye but just as he saw Pete about to say goodbye he hung up.
“Alrighty then,” Pete breathed out. “We’re actually really good mates if you haven’t noticed,” he said jokingly.
“Oh yeah, of course,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes playfully. “You two are going out for pints later this week aren’t you?”
Pete scoffed, not even able to think about what would happen if he and Robert were alone for more than 10 minutes.
“Daddy! Uncle Pete you no watch game!!” Holden said, hitting both of their legs and scowling at them.
Pete put his hands up in defeat before wrapping his arms around the toddler and kissing his cheek. “My goodness did I miss you and all your sass.”
“Miss you too,” Holden giggled, snuggling into his uncle’s chest.
Aaron smiled over at the two, running his fingers through Holden’s hair before focusing back on the game. He couldn’t even say how nice it was to have the two together again, he didn’t think he actually missed Pete this much. But now hanging out with the younger lad again he forgot how much he liked just spending time with him. He was his best mate his entire life after all. And he couldn’t be happier to be at a Rovers game, something he and Pete used to watch and go to all the time.
“Holden did you know that your daddy and I used to work in a stadium like this back in Donny? We did that so we could catch all the games.”
“Really?!” Holden asked wide eyed as he looked at his uncle. “What you job?!”
“We were the people that walked around and sold food or drinks,” Aaron said through a small smile. “Uncle Pete and I used to do tricks and everything too. We could juggle bags of chips between each other and throw things really far or behind our backs.”
Holden’s jaw had nearly dropped as he heard his daddy and saw his uncle nodding along. He knew the two were pretty cool, but at hearing that they seemed more awesome than ever.
“You the coolest ever,” he breathed out.
“Oh yeah, we’re the best,” Pete said, bumping his fist with Aaron’s and earning a chuckle from the older lad.
“He already knew that though,” Aaron said, winking at the toddler.
Holden rolled his eyes, almost needing to hold back a scoff, not meaning to make the two get big heads. “Just watch the game.”
Pete raised his eyebrows at the toddler, knowing he always had a little attitude but it seemed over the past couple months he’s gotten a bit sassier. “Alright boss, whatever you say.”
Aaron shrugged and laughed to himself as he glanced over at the younger lad and then down to Holden, the toddler completely engrossed in the game. So he decided to turn his attention to the pitch as well, clapping, screaming and jumping with Holden and Pete as they watched the players and feeling like he was a teenager again.
*~*
Robert bit his lip as he carefully pushed open the front door, shifting his bag on his shoulder and silently slipping off his shoes. He knew he had to be as quiet as possible, and he was pleasantly surprised when he climbed the stairs they didn’t creak under him.
He made his way to Holden’s bedroom, stepping in and poking his head behind the door. He was a bit confused when he didn’t see the toddler in his bed though, looking around the room and not seeing his son anywhere. So he backed out of the room, furrowing his eyebrows as he walked quickly down the hall and to Aaron’s room to see if he was possibly sleeping with the older lad. But when he pushed the door open he only saw Aaron sprawled out on the bed, laying on top of the covers and in nothing but his boxers.
“Aaron,” he whispered, walking over to the bed and rubbing his back gently. “Love, wake up.”
Aaron quickly picked his head up, his hair all tousled and sleep filled his eyes before they grew wide at seeing the younger lad. “Robert!” he said, immediately sitting up and wrapping his arms around him. “How was the show?! What’re you doing here?! I thought-”
“I wanted to come home,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he tucked his head into the older lad’s neck. “Where’s R though? I went into his room and he wasn’t there.”
“Oh, he’s at Pete’s,” Aaron said, tangling his fingers in the back of Robert’s curls. “After the game Holden wouldn’t leave his side and Pete offered to take him and I didn’t object. Not gonna lie though, I’ve been pretty lonely all night.”
“Really?”
“Well yeah, R was gone, you had your show, Ross is-”
“No, no, I mean about Pete with Holden,” Robert said, pulling away from the older lad to look at him.
“What’s so weird about that?” Aaron asked confused.
Robert opened his mouth, not wanting to say the wrong thing but at the same time needing to talk to Aaron about what he was thinking. “I just… That’s a lot of time with Pete.”
“I guess,” Aaron said through a chuckle. “I mean we used to spend all our time with him and Soph, it’s like the old days.”
Robert hummed to himself, getting up from the bed and pulling his clothes off to get ready for bed.
“What’s wrong?... I’m so happy you’re home but you don’t seem all that happy to be here,” Aaron said quietly.
“No, no, I am, believe me,” Robert rushed out. “It’s just… Pete… And him being him and what he did, I’m still not… To put it simply I kind of hate him.”
“Well it’s not about you, it’s about Holden,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows as he watched the younger lad change. “And yes, I know what he did was wrong and you’re still upset and hurt over it but if you were actually willing to talk to him he would tell you how sorry he was… He’s trying really hard to make amends Robert and you shutting him out and being cold towards him isn’t helping anyone.”
Robert let out a deep breath as he shook his head, the absolute last thing he wanted was to talk to Pete, to hear his excuses. “Aaron I don’t want to be his mate, I don’t want to talk to him…”
“I’m not forcing you too R, I’m just saying that he is trying and you’ll be seeing more of him.”
“I’m assuming he’ll be at Holden’s birthday,” Robert breathed out as he climbed into bed next to the older lad.
Aaron hummed, immediately rolling over so he was resting his chin on Robert’s chest and looking up at him. “Play nice love. We’ll have a houseful of 3 year olds running around and I don’t think a brawl between a popstar and a boxer turned doctor is something they need to see,” he said, combing his fingers through the younger lad’s curls.
“Pete used to box?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Well shit, I hit him that one time and he fell pretty easily, he must’ve sucked,” he said through a quiet laugh.
“He stopped when we were 23 so he’s a bit rusty, but I don’t think anyone thought you would actually throw punch.”
“Yeah well I was a bit mad,” Robert said, running his hand down the older lad’s bare back. “And no worries about R’s birthday, I’ll be on my best behavior. This is my first birthday spent with him after all,” he said through a soft smile.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold back his own grin as he looked up at the younger lad. “You have no clue how happy I am that you’re here,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure Robert heard him. “Just now and for his birthday… For everything.”
“Me too,” Robert said softly, kissing Aaron’s forehead gently and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I actually checked in with Holden’s birthday present and everything's ready to go.”
Aaron had to almost hold back a groan as he heard the younger lad, still not sure how he felt about this present. “You don’t think it’s too much? I mean that’s a big gift Rob and he’s only turning 4-”
“Aaron it’s perfect! C’mon he’ll love it, and when you saw it you nearly squealed so shush up.”
“Whatever,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes. “We’ll discuss this more in the morning, plus we have lots and lots of planning to do for that bugger of a boy we call our son,” he said, tilting his head up and pecking Robert’s lips.
Robert groaned playfully, earning a light hit to the chest from the older lad. “But while he’s gone for the night and the house is empty we can take advantage of it,” he said through a slight smirk. “Won’t have to try to be quiet or anything…”
Aaron felt his cheeks heat as he felt the younger lad’s hand trailing lower and lower down his backside. He did nothing but hum though, shifting himself so he was hovering over Robert and dipping down to connect their lips. And Aaron thought that maybe Robert wouldn’t mind Holden going over to Pete’s house so much if they got to do this, he knew he didn’t mind himself, not in the slightest.
*~*
“Okay! Okay, alright! Be- just careful-” Aaron said quickly seeing a hoard of toddlers run up the stairs, hoping they wouldn’t trip over each other or Rob.
“Love relax,” Robert whispered through a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s waist and squeezed at his sides. “They’re having a great time, no one is gonna get hurt, it’s fine.”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he nodded, not wanting to think about the stains on his furniture from the kids’ finger painting earlier or the mess in his kitchen from when they all made their owns pizzas.
“Pete is with them upstairs anyway, so hopefully the playroom won’t get too trashed,” he muttered.
Robert hummed, taking a swig of his beer and glancing towards the stairs. “Seems like Holden won’t let him out of his sight.”
“He’s missed him these past couple months,” Aaron shrugged, rubbing the younger lad’s back before pecking his cheek and making his way towards the kitchen to try to tidy up.
Robert released a small breath as he followed after Aaron, offering smiles to some of the other parents that were just hanging around. “Babe how much beer did you pick up?” he asked, shaking his empty bottle before placing it on the counter and searching the fridge for a new one.
“I got a case for you, should be in there,” Aaron said quietly as he wiped the table, if possible finding more paint than fAaronr on it.
“Perfect,” Robert breathed out, pulling a bottle out of the fridge before walking over to the older lad and kissing his cheek. “Love don’t even bother, I’ll call someone to clean this place up tomorrow, don’t stress about it.”
“Do you know who I am? Of course I’m going to stress about it,” Aaron laughed to himself as he shook his head.
“Well stop and come join the party,” Robert mumbled into Aaron’s hair, kissing his temple, ear, cheek, down his neck-.
“Alright, alright, enough of that, we have children around,” Aaron said, trying to hide his blush as he pushed the younger lad away. “Why don’t you go check on R? Make sure him and those little tyrants haven’t broken anything else.”
“If I must,” Robert huffed, making sure to give one final peck to the older lad before walking off towards the stairs. “How’re we doin guys? Did we trash the place yet?” he asked, popping his head in the playroom and hearing squealing and screaming children as Pete was play wrestling with Holden.
Robert watched the two, taking a quick swig of his beer before walking fully into the room. “What’re you doin buddy?” he asked over the yelling kids.
“I beat up uncle Pete!!!” Holden said, lunging at the older man and making him fall off his knees and to the ground.
“C’mere you monster! You won’t win that easily!!” Pete said, scooping the toddler into his arms and pulling him to the floor.
“Hey! Hey! Be careful, would ya,” Robert said, nearly stomping over to the older lad and standing Holden up.
“Papa stop,” Holden groaned, going back into his uncle’s arms and clinging to his neck “You go, we play.”
Robert felt his jaw go slack, looking between Holden and Pete, the brown eyed lad refusing to pick his head up. “You want me to go?”
“I play with uncle Pete, you go downstairs,” Holden said, already focusing on his uncle and trying to get his attention.
“Sure…” Robert said quietly, it clear Holden didn’t really want him there right now. “I’ll get you when we’re ready for cake and presents.”
Holden didn’t say anything though, instead was a bit more focused on climbing on his uncle’s back and trying to get him to play again.
“Robert wait, it’s-”
Robert just shook his head at Pete before offering all the kids a quick smile, sipping at his beer and walking out of the room.
“Robert!” Pete called after him, getting Holden off him and telling him to play with his friends before jogging after the younger lad. “Robert c’mon, please, just talk to me for five seconds.”
“And I should do that because?” Robert asked, already walking down the stairs, trying to get away from him.
“Because I’m trying to make things right,” Pete said, ignoring the concerned looks sent from Aaron and Sophia as he followed Robert into the empty kitchen. “It’s what's best for Holden and Aaron if we can get along or at least are able to talk to each other without wanting to throw a punch.”
Robert spun around to the older lad, narrowing his eyes and stepping dangerously close to him. “What the hell do you know about what’s best for Aaron and Holden?” he asked through gritted teeth.
Pete opened his mouth, swallowing thickly as he carefully backed away from him. “I was there for them when you left…” he barely whispered. “I’ve seen Aaron in his darkest days and was there when Holden said his first words, took his first steps-”
“And it’s your fault I wasn’t there for that!!” Robert yelled, slamming his beer on the counter and making the older lad jump. “If you hadn’t-”
“Robert if you fought for him things would be different!” Pete said, raising his own voice. “You had his phone number and if you were still so in love with him, so tortured by what had happened why didn’t you call him?! Why didn’t you fight for him?!”
Robert just looked at the older lad, his hands forming into fists at his sides as he shook his head.
“I’ve had my fair share of mistakes and I’ll be spending the rest of my life trying to make everything right,” Pete said quietly. “But you… All you do is whine and wait for things to go your way.”
“What?” Robert said, narrowing his eyes at the older lad.
Pete shook his head as he bit his lip and looked down to his shoes, thinking about what he was going to say. “Robert you’re all talk,” he said simply. “When you and Aaron were dating all those years ago do you really think you would’ve given everything up?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “You really would’ve given up the fame, the money, the record deal? Instead of being a musician what would you have done? Been a music teacher like Adam?-”
“Stop...”
“Without Aaron you wouldn’t have even been recognized,” Pete said, taking a step closer to the younger lad. “You weren’t trying as hard as you could’ve been to get signed, and like everything else in your life your fame was handed to you… I don’t believe for one second that you would leave that all behind for Aaron, that-”
“I love him,” Robert said almost firmly. “You have no idea what I would do for him, how much-”
“You would have stopped the tour if you knew he was pregnant?” Pete asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You would have stayed at home to be a father and not a rockstar?”
“Yes,” Robert said through gritted teeth.
“I don’t believe you,” Pete shook his head. “You would have hated Aaron for holding you back, for making you give up your dream. No matter what you were bound to hurt him in some way and I knew that… And after the way you left, after the way you so easily jumped to conclusions and refused to listen to him I had to keep him from you.”
Robert clenched his jaw as he heard the older lad and sent him a hard glare. “You don’t know anything about me… You can’t think this shit and -”
“Robert I know you,” Pete said, almost needing to hold back a laugh. “Oh, do I know you... Robert Sugden, gets sloshed and drunk off his ass to forget the pain his boyfriend caused him… The pain of him “cheating” even though you made all that up in your head… Drinking to get over him running away after you kissed him and was too self centered to see that he was scared beyond belief… You push the blame off yourself and whine and kick your feet like a child to get what you want, and say poor me, look at me and how hurt I am… But you don’t know pain Robert, not like Aaron does, and you never will.”
Robert swallowed thickly, unable to move and his breath coming up short as he listened to Pete, not able to think of anything to say.
“You have no idea what his life has been like Robert,” Pete said quietly, looking to the floor so the curly haired lad wouldn’t see his eyes pooling with tears. “It seems like no one understands what he’s been through, and that no one cares because over and over again he gets hurt… I did what I did because I thought I was protecting him and Holden. And I’m not gonna lie, you have no idea how many times I wanted to tell him about the email address… How many times I myself wanted to reach out and tell you.”
“Why didn’t you?” Robert asked, his throat tight and words barely coming out.
Pete bit his lip as he shook his head, begging his tears not to fall. “When Holden was born… Y-you have no idea how many times I found Aaron sobbing on the nursery floor, Holden wailing in his arms and Aaron crying out your name, begging for you to come back, to come home… And the next morning I’d see your face plastered on every magazine and on every news station with you drunkenly stumbling around with some boy or girl wrapped around you. And you still can’t figure out why I didn’t want you near him. You didn’t deserve him Robert, and frankly I still don’t think you do,” he said, making the younger lad’s head snap up to him. “He deserves someone who is willing to fight for him, do anything for him and love him unconditionally because life hasn’t been fair to him, not in the slightest. And I know I have some part in hurting him and hurting you… And I’m sorry.”
Robert looked at the older lad and he didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if he could say anything at all. But it seems as though he didn’t have to say anything because it turned out Pete wasn’t finished.
“Listen I uh, I know you love him… And I’m almost 100% sure he’s never stopped loving you,” Pete said quietly, finally meeting Robert’s eyes. “I just hope for the sake of everyone that this time it works out… This time you’ll fight for him, and not just when you need to but everyday… He deserves at least that.”
And Robert didn’t want to say it, say that Pete was right, but he was. But right now what he really wanted to do was find Aaron and tell him what he’s been aching to for weeks now.
“I never thought I’d be saying this, but thank you…” he barely whispered. “But I uh, I have to go find Aaron,” Robert said, already walking past Pete and heading into the living room.
His eyes almost immediately caught Aaron’s, the older lad having a look of worry sketched across his face but he didn’t waste a second before heading right for him, wrapping his arms around the blue eyed lad and pulling him in for a deep kiss.
“Robert, R,” Aaron mumbled against him through a small laugh, gently pushing on his chest. “What’re you doing love? What got into you?” he asked, wrapping his arms around the younger lad’s neck.
Robert opened his mouth, the only thing coming out being a quiet chuckle though as he leaned his forehead against Aaron’s. “I love you,” he breathed out through his widening grin. “What’s gotten into me is that I love you and I love our family and the life we have together and that there is nothing more that I need than you and our son by my side.”
Aaron stilled in Robert’s arms, his jaw going slack and breath coming up short. “You love me,” he barely whispered, trying to get it through his head. “And you decided to tell me in the middle of our son’s 4th birthday party?”
“Uh yeah well I uhm, I just had a little talk with someone and felt like it was time I tell you,” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip, Aaron looking at him confused before he searched around the room.
The older lad’s eyes locking on Pete and all he got from the brown eyed lad was a small smile and nod before focusing his attention back on Sophia.
“And I’m gonna keep telling you over and over again until you tell me to shut up,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, pulling Aaron impossibly closer to his chest and kissing his hair. “I love you Aaron Dingle, I never stopped.”
Aaron could feel his face heating up, having to bite back a wild grin as he slowly picked his head up to look at the younger lad. “I-”
“Daddy!! Papa!! We want cake!” Holden nearly yelled, crashing into his fathers and tugging on both their shirts.
“Perfect timing as usual,” Aaron muttered, earning a quiet laugh from Robert. “Alright big guy, lead all your friends to the table, we’ll get cake,” and it wasn’t even a second later the 4 year old was screaming for all of his friends to follow him.
“And here I thought a stadium full of people was bad, who knew 3 year olds were worse,” Ed said, making the adults in the room laugh before they all walked after the kids.
“You’ll get used to it, just stick around long enough,” Ross said, clapping the ginger haired lad on the back and getting a hum of agreement from Aaron.
“Daddy!! Cake!”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully but made his way into the kitchen to get his demanding son’s cake. He made sure someone was videotaping and taking pictures of everything as he carried the cake out and placed it in front of Holden.
“Papa guitar! Sing!” Holden clapped his hands together excitedly.
“Alright you little bugger,” Robert muttered through a small smile, expecting this from the 4 year old and reaching for his guitar that rested against the wall. “On three, everyone ready?” he asked, looking to all the excited kids at the table.
All the kids and Ed said a very Loud “yes!!” so Robert took that as a go ahead to start counting. And it was only a second later everyone was singing, Holden’s smile blinding and Aaron making sure he was getting everything on camera.
As they sang it was impossible for Robert to stop his own growing smile, never so grateful to be where he was. His son was 4 and he was lucky enough to celebrate the day with him, and the man he loves most in the world finally knows exactly how he feels about him. Even though Aaron didn’t necessarily say it back, Robert was sure he was about to, and that was more than good enough for him.
After singing was done Aaron and Pete started passing out cake and they weren’t sure if Holden even had his piece for more than a minute before half of it was on his face and was then trying to kiss his daddy to make him messy just like him.
Aaron was quick to avoid that though, urging his son to eat his cake instead of chasing him around. And luckily Holden didn’t need to be told twice before shoving even more cake in his mouth.
It wasn’t long after all the kids had sufficient sugar rushes that the passing out of presents began, and there were plenty of presents that had to be opened.
Diane and Jack were there, as was Vic, Charlie, Ed, Ross, Adam, and about 20 kids who all brought presents. Of course when Holden opened all his presents he said, or screamed his thank yous before hugging who ever it came from. And it was almost impossible not to aww at the sight of the 4 year old hugging all of his little friends and family. When it came to his last present though Aaron grew a bit nervous, looking to Robert and earning a wink from the younger lad before he got Holden’s attention.
“Alright buddy, daddy and I have one more present for you, are you ready?” Robert asked, trying to hold back his growing smile.
“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly.
Robert almost skipped off to the other room, leaving everyone confused and Aaron bouncing anxiously on his heels. “Happy birthday R,” he said softly, coming back into the room with the toddler’s present.
Everyone in the room stilled, Aaron biting his lip nervously as he looked over to Holden and saw the 4 year old’s jaw slack.
“A puppy!!!” he screeched, bounding out of his chair and sprinting towards his papa. “Oh my goodness look at it!!” Holden yelled, jumping up and down as his father placed the puppy down and it started licking him all over his face.
“This little girl’s name is Addi, what do you think buddy?” Robert asked as he watched his son with the tiny dog, Holden’s smile growing every second that passed.
“I love her,” Holden barely whispered, trying to hug the little puppy to his chest. “Thank you daddy, thank you papa, I love you!!” he squealed.
Aaron had to let out a breath of relief as he saw how happy Holden was, he doesn’t know why he was so worried in the first place. Maybe it was the whole now he has not only a toddler to look after but a puppy to house train as well that was a bit nerve wracking. Just at Holden’s face though it was all more than worth it.
“See? He loves her, I told you he would,” Robert said, coming up to the older lad and kissing his cheek gently.
“You know how I worry,” Aaron breathed out through a small laugh, seeing all the kids try to get Addi’s attention and play with her. “She is super cute though, you outdid yourself.”
“Hopefully Rob will find her cute. He’s been hiding from the kids all day, I wonder what he’ll do when he sees her.”
“Hopefully be nice,” Aaron said, his head snapping up at hearing Holden let out a Loud giggle and seeing Addi licking him all over his face. “He’s Rob after all, he’s a little fluff ball of love.”
Robert hummed his agreement, needing to hold back a laugh at seeing Ed and Adam trying to roll around with the dog but instead got stepped all over. “You know who else is a little fluff ball of love?” he asked, earning a confused look from the older lad. “Me,” Robert said, dipping his head and kissing Aaron softly. “I love you.”
Aaron smiled against the green eyed lad, tangling his fingers in the back of his curls and pulling him in a bit closer. “I… Well I love you too,” he barely whispered.
Robert was almost bouncing in his shoes as he heard the older lad, pulling him in for heavy kiss. “Say it again,” he mumbled against him, Aaron laughing into his mouth as he pecked his lips a few more times.
“I love you Robert Sugden,” Aaron said, pulling gently at the hairs at the nape of the younger lad’s neck. “As crazy as it sounds, I love you.”
“I love you too papa!!” Holden said, clinging to his father’s leg. “And you daddy!”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he scooped the 4 year old into his arms and kissed his cheek. “Love you too munchkin.”
“And thank you for Addi! She’s the most perfect puppy ever!!” Holden said, wrapping his arms around both his fathers’ necks and pulling them close.
“Of course buddy,” Robert said softly, kissing Holden’s cheek and hugging him back. “Lots of love going around today huh?” he asked, sending a small smirk over to Aaron.
“I love love,” Holden nodded, giving the two one more quick hug before wiggling out of his daddy’s arms, wanting to play with his puppy some more.
Aaron smiled to himself as he watched his son run off, and his smile could only grow as he felt Robert wrap his arms around him and kissed his neck. He really didn’t think the day could get any better, but that was right before their special guest Spiderman showed up and Holden was close to tears at seeing the man in costume. They were happy tears of course, but tears none the less, and Aaron got everything on camera.
It was a day he was sure Holden would never forget, from getting a puppy to meeting Spiderman. Aaron knew he himself could never forget today, hearing Robert say he loves him and seeing the green eyed lad and Pete be in a room together and try not to kill each other. And if later that night Robert was ridding them of their clothes faster than his heaving breaths were coming out at least in between kisses, gentle touches and silent pleas Aaron could gasp out his “I love you’s” and feel Robert’s lips press his own “I love you’s” into his skin.
Notes:
So sorry for updates taking so long, the only days I can write are Mondays and every other Friday. I'll try to be faster, I swear ! Thoughts on the chapter ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !!
Chapter 14
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Daddy can I get a leash like Addi’s for Rob?” Holden asked asked as he skipped along the pavement, his father’s hand firm in his and Addi walking all over place, or at least as far as the leash would let her.
“And why do we need a leash for Rob?” Aaron asked, his eyes trained on the little puppy, praying she would just go to the bathroom already.
“So he can go on walks,” Holden said like it was obvious.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at the 4 year old and tried not to laugh at how serious he was. “Buddy you don’t take cats on walks.”
“Why?” Holden asked confused. “If puppies go walks so can cats.”
Aaron opened his mouth to answer, but found that he couldn’t think of a reason as to why cats don’t go on walks. “You know what? I don’t know why cats don’t go on walks… They just don’t,” he shrugged.
“Next time we take Rob with us,” Holden nodded to himself, reaching for Addi’s leash from his daddy and smiling widely as his puppy walked beside him.
“Yeah… We’ll see about that,” Aaron said through a small laugh, ruffling the toddler’s hair and watching Addi to make sure she wouldn’t pull Holden all over the place.
Holden looked up at his daddy, eyeing him for a minute as he recognized that tone of voice anywhere, knowing his father wouldn’t actually let him take Rob on a walk. Well, at least he had Addi to walk.
“Daddy where’s papa?” he asked quietly. “How come he no come on walk with us?”
“You know he’s at a meeting buddy, his tour starts in a week and he has to get ready for it,” Aaron said, biting his lip and squeezing the 4 year old’s hand gently.
“Oh yeah…” Holden said, looking down to his shoes and feeling Addi tug at the leash.
Aaron shifted his gaze to the 4 year old, letting out a small breath as he could clearly see how upset Holden was just at the thought of Robert leaving. He knew it was going to be hard for the toddler, hard for all of them, but he really worried for Holden.
“Hey,” he said softly, squeezing Holden’s hand gently. “What’re you thinkin about buddy? Talk to me.”
Holden kept his eyes on Addi as she walked around but could still feel his father watching him. “Papa gonna go away for long time and I gonna miss him…” he said quietly. “I no want papa to go.”
Aaron nodded, wrapping his arm around the 4 year old and pulling him into his side as they walked down the pavement. “I don’t want him to go either big guy… But just think about it, after this tour he’s home for good.”
“I know,” Holden breathed out, leaning against his daddy’s side. “But he still going away for long time and I no know when we see him again.”
“It’s not like we won’t see him at all while he’s on tour buddy,” Aaron said, rubbing his back. “The first part of the tour will be the hardest but after that we’ll be with papa for a little bit.”
“How long papa be gone?” Holden asked quietly.
“Well he’ll be in Asia for about two months, Australia for another month, and then he’ll be home for about a week.”
“I no know where those places are daddy! Will papa even be on same planet?!” Holden groaned.
Aaron couldn’t help but throw his head back as he laughed, having to quickly quiet himself though as he saw how serious Holden was. “Well when we get home we’ll set up a map, I’ll show you where papa will be so you’ll know and we can put pins in it and hang it up. And yes, he’ll be on the same planet.”
“Good,” Holden muttered through his own smile. “And uncle Pete and aunt Sophia get marry soon, papa home for that?”
“I don’t know yet buddy, papa is still trying to figure that out,” Aaron breathed out, too many dates, times and schedules to keep track of for one person. “Addi! Finally, thank you! My God!!” he said happily, seeing the puppy going to the bathroom.
Holden had a little hand on his chest, his father nearly giving him a heart attack. “Daddy please,” he huffed, trying to breathe again. “And good girl Addi,” Holden said, smiling down at his puppy, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a treat for her.
Aaron couldn’t fight his smile as he watched Holden with Addi, the toddler taking to her very quickly and doing well with the responsibility of her. He’s always making sure she’s fed at the right time and goes out when she needs to. And most importantly Holden makes sure both Addi and Rob have his attention, constantly playing with the two of them and making sure they got along. It wasn’t all that hard after all, the two animals were constantly near each other, always following Holden around wherever he went or sleeping next to each other. Just as he was thinking so highly of his son though he saw the 4 year old just staring up at the sun.
“Buddy, stop that,” he said, nudging the toddler, not wanting him to go blind.
“But I see colors,” Holden giggled, going a little dizzy from just looking at the bright light.
“Yeah, that’s not good,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes, taking Addi’s leash and scooping Holden up. “I’d rather keep those lovely green eyes working,” he said, giving the 4 year old a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
Holden groaned as he felt his father on him, telling him time and time again that because he was 4 he was a big boy now and that meant keeping kisses to the minimum. But because no one was around he supposed he could let this one slide.
*~*
“Rob, Addi! Off! Me and papa cuddle,” Holden said, shooing the two animals off the couch who were hogging his father’s attention and taking their place on his chest.
Robert groaned and laughed to himself as he felt the animals scurry off him and his son not so gracefully climb on his chest. “You know I was napping so peacefully before you came along,” he teased as he adjusted the 4 year old him. “My goodness you’re getting big.”
“Well I 4 now papa, so that means I big,” Holden said as he rolled his eyes, thinking his papa should know this.
“Oh, of course it does,” Robert said in mock seriousness.
Holden narrowed his eyes at his father before letting out an annoyed breath and laying his head down on his chest. “I be mad at you but you go away soon so I no want to be mad,” he mumbled.
Robert bit his lip as he looked down at the 4 year old, his piercing green eyes focused right back on him. “I’m gonna miss you so much buddy,” he barely whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Holden’s forehead and rubbing his back.
He could feel Holden wrap his arms around him, but when he felt tears on his neck he looked back down at the toddler, only to see Holden biting his lip and trying desperately not to cry.
“C’mere,” he said, pulling Holden into his chest, kissing his head and rubbing his back as he felt the 4 year begin to really cry. “It’s okay buddy, it’s alright,” Robert said, wanting him to calm down, but as soon as he said it the 4 year old was shaking his head and letting his tears fall faster and faster.
“P-papa don’t go,” Holden hiccuped into his neck.
Robert let out a small breath, trying to think of anything to say to make Holden feel better, and just as he opened his mouth he saw Aaron come in the room. The older lad looked like he was about to say something himself but grew confused at seeing Holden crying. Robert just shook his head at him though, mouthing a quick “give us a second” before Aaron looked at the 4 year old sadly, nodded and walked back out of the room.
“R…” he said softly, wanting the toddler to look at him, and when he did he gently wiped his tears away. “I don’t like seeing you cry buddy, please,” Robert nearly begged.
But again all Holden did was shake his head, wrap his arms around his papa’s neck, never wanting to let him go and letting out shaky breaths against him.
“Holden I know this is hard big guy, it’s hard for all of us,” Robert said quietly, hugging and kissing the 4 year old so he would calm down. “But I would really like to spend my last night here with you and daddy, having a good time and not crying… Do you think we can do that?”
Holden hiccupped against his papa as he wiped his tears and nodded. “I-I can try.”
“Okay, thank you buddy,” Robert said, kissing his son’s head and gently sitting them up. “I love you big guy, it’s okay, we’ll have an amazing night,” he said softly.
“I know,” Holden sniffled. “I gonna go clean my face, I gross. Then we go,” he said wiping his little hands over his face shuffling off his father’s lap. “Oh, and I love you too papa.”
Robert smiled to himself as he felt the toddler kiss his cheek and then scurry off to the bathroom. And it was only a second later he saw Aaron appear in the doorway, biting his lip and arms crossed over his chest as he looked right back at him.
“You’re not gonna cry too, are ya love?” Robert asked, sending the older lad a small grin as he pat the seat next to him.
“I dunno, this entire week I’ve been holding it in,” Aaron muttered as he sat next to Robert and rested his head on his shoulder. “After you leave tomorrow I’ll probably drop Holden off at Ross’s or Pete’s and just sit on my bed with a bottle of vodka and some ice cream, and cry until I pass out.”
Robert raised his eyebrows at that before holding back a small laugh and shaking his head. “Aaron c’mon, you guys are acting like you’ll never see me again.”
“Well Robert 3 months is… It’s a long time…” Aaron barely whispered as he focused his gaze to the floor.
“But I’m coming back,” Robert said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the older lad’s temple and rubbing his back.
“Yeah, for a week before you jet off again,” Aaron said through a sarcastic laugh as he shook his head.
Robert opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Aaron beat him to it.
“No, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Aaron mumbled into his hands. “We’ve talked about this so many times, and I understand this is what you have to do to get a real break… I’m just gonna miss you so much…” he said, holding everything in him s he wouldn’t let his tears slip.
“And don’t think for one second that I won’t miss you, both of you,” Robert whispered into the older lad’s hair. “But let’s not talk about me leaving right now… Why don’t we go get ready for the night and spend the time we have together focused on just us?”
Aaron let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway before pecking Robert’s lips and pushing himself off the couch, needing to find Holden and get him ready as well.
For the past week the three have spent every waking second together, except when Aaron was teaching, but even then Robert and Holden would snatch him away for lunch. It’s not like he or Holden minded, not in the slightest with Robert leaving and being gone for 3 months. So the past week has been nights out to nice restaurants, the trampoline park, movie marathons and more sugary snacks than Aaron thought possible. And this past week he’s let it go because Robert was leaving and the younger lad was trying to do anything to make sure he made this week fun and memorable for Holden. Tonight being Robert’s last night home though he plDianed a nice dinner at some fancy restaurant before heading back home for whatever movie Holden picks out and cuddles on the couch.
But right now they all to get ready, and Aaron almost didn’t want to, just because if he got ready and they went out then that meant time was really passing, and that was the last thing he wanted.
Aaron wished he could freeze time, wished that Robert wasn’t leaving and they weren’t putting on some fancy suits to go out for what will be last time for 3 months. But he couldn’t freeze time, and they were putting on suits, and tomorrow Robert would be jetting off to some place in Asia Aaron doesn’t know how to pronounce. Tomorrow he’ll be worlds away, and there was nothing Aaron could do but spend one more night with his boyfriend and make the moments they had left together last.
“Love.”
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes immediately catching Robert who was looking at him worriedly.
“You okay?” Robert asked quietly. “R and I are already dressed up, we’re just waiting on you,” he said, rubbing the older lad’s back as he saw him just in his tank top and dress pants.
“Sorry, yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Aaron said as she shook his head. “Just lost in my thoughts I guess.”
Robert let out a small breath as he kept his eyes on Aaron and bit his lip. But he nodded at the older lad anyway, kissing his cheek gently before letting him finish getting ready.
“Papa I think I have more fancy clothes than shirts,” Holden mumbled as he looked down at his suit and walked into the bedroom.
Robert looked down at the 4 year and couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped as he knelt to his son’s height and fixed his tie. “That’s what happens when your papa is a popstar and likes to spoil you with nice things,” he teased.
Holden hummed his agreement as he stayed completely still, letting his father do whatever he needs to do to fix him. “Daddy I like you suit too, very handsome.”
Aaron offered his son a small smile as he buttoned up his shirt, not even fully in his suit yet. “Thank you buddy, you look very handsome too,” he said, sending his son a wink.
“I know, I try sometimes,” Holden breathed out as he pushed his fingers through his hair. “I think my eyes make me most handsome.”
Both Aaron and Robert turned to the 4 year old, raising their eyebrows at him and then looking to each other almost shocked.
“Well you do have those famous green eyes,” Aaron muttered, keeping his eyes on Robert and smiling at him.
“And dimples,” Robert added, grinning back at the older lad.
“Hey,” Holden said, hitting his papa’s leg. “We talk about me, stop look at each other.”
Aaron looked back down at the toddler and rolled his eyes at him. “You’re being quite sassy and full of yourself here mister, relax.”
“Well it no my fault papa handsome and daddy handsome and you make me so I handsome,” Holden said in a matter of fact tone.
Aaron snapped his gaze Robert, the younger lad’s eyes wide and jaw slack. “What do you mean made? Who told you that?”
“Adam,” Holden shrugged. “He say you love each other so you make me.”
“Right… No more hanging out with Adam then,” Aaron said through gritted teeth. “Whatever, are we ready to go?” he asked, grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it on.
Holden mumbled to himself as his daddy scooped him up and began walking towards the stairs, but at least he saw his papa following after them and winked at him. And just from that he knew he would see Adam again, not needing to worry about what his daddy said, he probably wasn’t serious.
“Papa I drive, give me keys,” Holden said, reaching over his daddy’s shoulder to his papa once they were outside.
“Yeah, how about we wait another 12 years, maybe then I’ll give you a pair of keys,” Robert said through a chuckle as he shook his head and watched as Aaron put the pouting 4 year old in his carseat.
Holden huffed to himself but didn’t make any arguments about it, instead let his daddy buckle him in and made sure to blow him a kiss as a thank you before he closed the door.
“Aaron,” Robert said softly once the older lad was in the car and situated in his seat. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a bit off.”
Aaron shook his head as he combed his fingers through his hair. “Just tonight… It’s hard to not think about tomorrow. Trust me I’m trying, but it’s proving more difficult than I thought,” he muttered.
“M’right here love,” Robert said quietly, looking over at the older lad and intertwining their fingers as he drove down the road. “Still right here…” he said, bringing up their hands and pressing his lips to Aaron’s skin.
Aaron let out a small breath and nodded, offering Robert his most convincing smile. He was pretty sure the younger lad could see right through him but he grinned back at him anyway before turning his attention back to the road and squeezed his hand gently.
It was quiet for nearly the entire car ride, the only sounds coming from Holden as he hummed to himself and the deep breaths Aaron would release so he wouldn’t start over thinking. With Robert’s hand firm in his it did help, but the way the younger lad would glance at him sadly every now and then made Aaron feel like they only had mere seconds together.
“We ready?” Robert asked, parking the car and already getting out to pass his keys to the valet.
He tipped the man who took his keys and caught up with Holden and Aaron on the other side of the car. And before Robert could even think about wrapping his arm around the older lad he caught a pap waiting by the doors of the restaurant.
“Did you call him? How did he know we would be here?” Aaron asked quietly with a touch of worry in his voice as he picked up Holden.
“Of course I didn’t call him,” Robert said, pulling Aaron into his side. “He must’ve figured we would want to go out tonight considering I’m leaving tomorrow, and this is one of my favorite places. Calm down love, it’s okay,” he said, pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple and rubbing his back.
Aaron let out a deep breath and nodded, not even sure why this one pap seemed like such a big deal, it could be much worse.
“Mr.Sugden! Mr.Dingle, I’m glad I could catch you!” the pap said as he saw them approach the door. “I’m sorry to bother you but would it be okay if I took a couple pictures? I swear as soon as I get them I’ll leave, and won’t even tell anyone you’re here. It’s just for a story on you guys for a magazine article I’m working-”
“Mate, mate, relax,” Robert said through a chuckle, this guy clearly a new reporter or was just always a nervous wreck. “Aaron, R, do you mind? He did ask nicely after all,” he whispered to them.
Holden shrugged, never caring when men with cameras came around. And when his daddy looked to him he just smiled, giving his okay like he always does.
“Sure,” Aaron said, offering a small grin to Robert and the pap.
He was almost surprised himself how nice this pap was. Most of them are pushy and Loud, and they’re the last people Aaron ever wants to be around.
The pap smiled widely to himself, bringing up his camera and snapping a few pictures. “This really means a lot thank you,” he said before taking a couple more, almost having to hold back a laugh as he saw the 4 year old making faces. “So Mr.Sugden I know you leave tomorrow to start your tour, do you have your setlist made? Or any plans while you’re travelling? Visiting any tourist places or maybe having these two join you for a bit on the road?”
“Yeah, yeah setlist is made and the bags are all packed and everything,” Robert said quietly, offering the man a small smile as he pulled Aaron just a bit closer to him. “As for these two joining me, we’re still discussing dates and some small details have to be worked out,” Robert said, glancing down at the older lad and biting his lip. “But uhm, if you don’t mind my family and I have a reservation, so-”
“Yes! Yes, of course sir, thank you again!” the pap said quickly, flashing the three a wide smile. “Enjoy your night!”
Robert nodded at him and smiled back before leading Aaron towards the door, opening it for him and letting out a deep breath once they were inside. “You know we’re gonna have to talk about it at some point,” he muttered to the older lad.
“And we will,” Aaron said, placing Holden down. “You know we want to go with you on tour for a bit, but there are still some things going on in the summer.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Robert breathed out before smiling at the maitre-d, the older man immediately recognizing him and leading them to a table. “It’ll all work out, I’m sure.”
“It will,” Aaron said through a small smile, there being no way in hell he and Holden wouldn’t go on tour with Robert for at least a little bit. “Trust me love, we will be with you, it’s just a matter of when.”
Robert hummed, smiling down at the older lad before kissing his temple. But once he saw they were at the table he helped Holden in a chair and then pulled Aaron’s out for him, making sure they were both situated before sitting down himself.
“I want chicken fingers,” Holden said, already making grabby hands for his daddy’s phone since he wasn’t given a coloring sheet.
“Buddy a place like this doesn’t have chicken fingers,” Robert laughed. “If you want they have some really good steak or a baked mac and cheese you might like.”
“Both,” Holden said, grinning at his father as he passed him his phone and immediately pulled up his coloring app.
Aaron looked at the 4 year old and was about to tell him to pick one, knowing they didn’t have kids portions here but when he looked to Robert he saw the younger lad nodding and laughing.
“Whatever you want big guy,” Robert hummed, rubbing the toddler’s back before looking over his own menu. “You too Aaron, any wine or something you want,” he said, smiling at the older lad and tangling their feet together under the table.
“Oh, give me the most expensive bottle and I’d like to try everything on the menu, just for fun,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes playfully. “You don’t have to spoil us love, it’s just a regular night.”
Holden looked up from the phone and to his fathers, seeing his papa take his daddy’s hand across the table, but even he knew it wasn’t just a regular night. They tried to act like it though, being their Loud and crazy selves. Holden can’t even count how many times he had to restrain himself not to roll his eyes or groan as he listened to the two. Of course he added in on the conversation sometimes, but half the time he was more focused on his steak and mac and cheese, that being far more interesting than seeing his daddies make goo goo eyes at each other. It was fun nevertheless though, with his daddies it always was.
When they had finished dinner and were back home watching a movie though it became quiet. Holden was tucked into his papa’s side, not paying much attention to the screen but instead just focusing on his father and holding onto him as tightly as he could, not wanting him to go. And even when he had to get ready for bed his papa had to nearly pry his arms off from around his neck just so he would lay down.
“I’ll see you in the morning R, it’s okay,” Robert said softly, running his fingers through 4 year old’s feathery hair. “I love you buddy.”
“I love you too papa,” Holden barely whispered, squeezing father’s hand gently as he felt him press a gentle kiss to his head.
Robert pulled away, offering his son one more gentle smile before getting up from the bed and letting Aaron say his goodnights. Once the older lad kissed Holden goodnight Robert offered the 4 year old one more soft smile before following Aaron out into the hallway.
“So, how long do you think we have until Holden comes in the room?” Robert asked through a small smirk as he wrapped his arms around the blue eyed lad.
Aaron laughed to himself as he turned around in Robert’s arms and smiled up at him. “I would give it anywhere between 5 and 20 minutes,” he said, his arms wrapping around the younger lad’s neck.
Robert hummed to himself, dipping his head and connecting their lips gently. “Good thing I only need 3,” he mumbled against him.
Aaron pulled away, scoffing before he felt the younger lad pull him impossibly closer and move his lips to his neck, slowly pushing him back and moving them down the hall. “Love there is no way in hell you can get me off in 3 minutes,” he laughed, craning his neck and nearly moaning at the way Robert was sucking at his skin.
“Wanna bet?” Robert breathed out, raising his eyebrows and smirking at the older lad before dropping to his knees.
“Robert… R,” Aaron whispered wide eyed, his back pressed against the wall and Robert reaching for his belt. “Love not here, we can’t do this in-”
“Aaron please, be quiet, we can’t wake Holden now can we?”
“Robert he’s probably not even sleeping yet!!” Aaron whisper yelled, the younger lad already undoing his pants button and tugging them down to his knees.
“Oh, well then we really better be quiet,” Robert laughed, looking up at Aaron with raised eyebrows and licking his lips.
Aaron opened his mouth, ready to retort and tell the younger lad that they should take it to the bedroom. But the way Robert was looking up at him, his eyes blown and the hungry look on his face there was no way Aaron could stop him.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he barely said, nodding quickly.
Robert grinned back up at him, gripping the older lad’s thighs and tugging gently at his boxers thin material. “Alright love, start you watch.”
Aaron let out a shaky breath, his jaw going slack at feeling Robert pull his boxers down just enough for his length to come over the top of the band. And he could just barely glance at his watch before feeling Robert’s lips wrap around him, his air getting caught in his throat and a low moan escaping him.
One hand burying itself in the younger lad’s curls while the other gripped at his shoulder, needing to hold something so he wouldn’t collapse. It was nearly impossible to stop his thighs from shaking at the way Robert’s mouth was working around him, the way he was hollowing his cheeks and holding him up with an iron grip so he wouldn’t fall.
It was embarrassing how hard he was already, how the feeling of Robert’s tongue swirling around him had him trembling, his jaw slack and silent pleas escaping him. Maybe the younger lad didn’t even need 3 minutes, but 2 before Aaron completed unloaded himself. He knew that if he even chanced a glance at Robert, seeing his head bobbing and mouth around him he would be done. His legs would give out from under him and there was no way he wouldn’t be on the floor. All he could do was grip at the green eyed lad’s hair tighter and throw his head back as he bit his lip, trying to do anything to keep in his moans, but even then they escaped him.
Aaron felt Robert grip at his thighs tighter and quicken his movements and he just stood there shaking, his mouth opening and closing but absolutely nothing coming out as he felt the younger lad hum around him. And Aaron is ashamed to say it but it didn’t take Robert that much longer before he was coming into the younger lad’s mouth and letting out a far too Loud groan.
Robert rested his head against the older lad’s hip, letting out heavy breaths as he pressed gentle kisses into his skin. “What was my time love?” he asked through a quiet laugh.
Aaron rolled his eyes, letting out his own heaving breaths before bringing up his wrist and looking to his watch. “3 minutes 25 seconds,” he barely managed out.
“Ugh fuck,” Robert groaned. “We’ll have to try again, I can do it, I swear.”
Aaron quickly shook his head, needing at least a 10 minute break. “Love it’s okay, I believe you,” he breathed out. “Why don’t we go into the bedroom and actually do it before R comes in. God only knows how long it’ll be until we can do this again.”
“3 months, so we better make it mind blowing,” Robert laughed, wrapping his hands around the backs of Aaron’s thighs and lifting him up.
And Aaron didn’t need to be told twice before wrapping his legs around Robert’s waist, gently connecting their lips and laughing into younger lad’s mouth.
*~*
“R… C’mon big guy, we gotta stay awake,” Aaron said quietly, slowly rubbing the 4 year old’s back and adjusting him on his hip.
He knew the toddler was beyond exhausted from last night after he came into their bedroom around 2 am, and it took him and Robert another hour to make him stop crying. It was no secret that Holden was sad about today, about what they were doing right now.
Holden must’ve thought that if he could close his eyes and pretend all of this wasn’t happening then it wouldn’t. But as he felt his daddy rubbing his back and urging him to wake up he peaked his eyes open and sure enough nothing had changed. His papa still had his bag slung over his shoulder, his hand firm in his daddy’s and quiet sniffles coming from him, and no matter how many times Holden closed his eyes and wished it wasn’t happening it still was.
“Buddy please,” Aaron nearly begged, this not being any easier for him. “Don’t you want to say bye to papa? You have to wake up.”
“No,” Holden mumbled into his daddy’s neck. “If I no say bye papa can’t go.”
“Holden,” Robert said softly, gently tugging on Aaron’s hand and stopping the older lad so he could take the 4 year old from him. “I know this is hard but I have to go, and I would really really like it if you said goodbye to me,” he said, wrapping his arms around his son and pressing kisses into his hair.
Holden let out a shaky breath before resting his head on his papa’s shoulder and hugging him back so tightly around his neck he wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not. For once he was really happy the men with cameras weren’t there because he wanted his papa for himself, he didn’t want to share him with anyone. Well maybe he could share him with his daddy, but that was it.
“Papa,” Holden barely whispered, tucking his head into his father’s neck and trying to blink his tears away. “I really gonna miss you.”
“And I’m really, really gonna miss you too,” Robert said quietly, kissing the 4 year old’s temple and squeezing him back.
“You have you watch?” Holden asked, pulling away slightly to look at his papa.
“Of course buddy, set on your time, always.”
Holden let out a quiet breath and nodded, leaning back in to hug his papa again and hope his daddy would never make him let go. After what felt like mere seconds, but was probably a few minutes he felt his daddy’s hand on him. And all he could do was shake his head, beg his tears not to fall and hold onto his papa for dear life.
“It’s okay love, c’mere,” Robert said, doing everything in his power not to cry as he pulled Aaron into his side with his free arm and kissed his temple.
Aaron shook his head, his tears already streaming down his cheeks as he tucked himself into Robert’s side. There wasn’t anything anyone could say to make this better. The only thing that could be said at all was goodbye, and that was the last thing any of them wanted. They all knew this couldn’t last long though, that sooner than later Robert’s bodyguards would make them say goodbye so they could get going.
“God, I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Robert breathed out as sniffled to himself and pulled the two impossibly closer. “I’ll try to call as much as possible, and you guys don’t even have to look at the clock, if you want to call me then please, please call me.”
Aaron nodded against the younger lad, the memories of Robert leaving for weeks at a time all those years ago rushing back to him, and remembering how hard it was. But this wasn’t just weeks, this was months, and not only that but they had Holden now and Aaron knew that would make it much more harder. But both he and his son just held onto Robert, hugging him and kissing him until one of his bodyguards cleared his throat and muttered those words Aaron was dreading.
All he could do was wipe his eyes, wanting to at least be able to see Robert as he was saying goodbye, but he couldn’t even contain himself before the younger lad’s lips were on his, kissing him like they had seconds left to live.
“I love you,” Robert said against him. “I love you so much, you don’t even know.”
Aaron let out an airy chuckle, shaking his head as he released the younger lad and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Trust me, I know…” he said softly. “And I love you too.”
Robert let out a deep breath, not wanting to even think about letting Aaron go, but when his eyes shifted to Holden he was clinging to his leg, so he picked him up and just held him. “You know how much I love you?” he whispered to the 4 year old.
“A lot,” Holden mumbled into his neck. “I love you papa, I really really do.”
Robert allowed the smallest of smiles to come to him as he kissed his son’s head and rubbed his back. It was this he was going to miss, holding the 4 year old, cuddling up with him and just being with him.
“Robert, c’mon, we have to get going.”
Robert glared at his bodyguard for a second before shaking his head and focusing back on Holden. “You better take good care of daddy while I’m gone, I’m trusting you here buddy.”
“I promise,” Holden said quietly, glancing over at his daddy and seeing him laugh and wipe a few tears away.
“Thank you,” Robert said through a small chuckle, kissing the 4 year old’s cheek before giving him one more squeeze and reluctantly putting him down. Even as he did that though Holden refused to let go of him, gripping at his leg and holding onto him for dear life.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked at Robert, the younger lad looking right back at him sadly before he reached for him and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay love,” he said softly. “I’m sure you’ll forget about us in no time. You’ll be too busy being a popstar.”
“Humor me,” Robert scoffed. “Could never forget about you two,” he mumbled into the older lad’s neck.
Aaron hummed, holding back a small smile and reminding himself Robert wasn’t going away forever, that no matter what he was coming back. “Please, have fun though,” he whispered. “Don’t sulk in your hotel room and wish we were there. Go out, have fun, explore where you are and put on the best shows you can.”
“And then call you and tell you all about it.”
“Of course love,” Aaron chuckled as he rolled his eyes playfully. “But I mean it… Have fun.”
Robert let out a small breath as he just barely pulled away from Aaron and nodded at him. “Promise,” he said quietly.
If he was being honest touring was one of his favorite things. He loved going from city to city, playing for hundreds of people and having new experiences. But it was different now that he had Holden and Aaron. Now it seemed like it was going to be harder to enjoy because they weren’t there with him, to share these amazing moments with them.
“Robert you know I don’t like doing this but we have to go.”
This time Robert actually groaned, making his body guard put his hands up in defeat and back up from him. Saying goodbye was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew if he didn’t within the next minute one of his bodyguards would just pick him up and carry him out. So he knelt down to Holden’s height, scooped him up and then pulled Aaron into his chest as well. He just held the two, letting out a deep breath and trying to push past the thought that he won’t be able to do this for months.
Robert couldn’t count how many times he kissed the two of them, whispered how much he was going to miss them and to call him whenever they want, as many times as they want. The two didn’t say anything though, just nodded against him and whispered their I love you’s back. But when Robert felt a large hand on his back he knew it was time.
He squeezed the two impossibly tighter, kissed them both and gathered everything he had in him not to cry as he set Holden down and slowly stepped away from Aaron.
Robert willed his tears back, begged them not to fall as he saw Aaron biting his lip and holding in his own tears. But he felt a tug on his arm, looking behind him and seeing his bodyguard looking at him expectantly. So Robert nodded at the older man before glancing back at the two, trying not to focus on Holden’s crying and offered them a tight lined smile and mouthed “I love you” before picking up his bag.
And all Aaron could do was nod and mouth it back, grinning back at the younger lad as he rubbed Holden’s back and tried to calm his quiet sobs. He was doing everything he could to not break down right there, but as he watched Robert walk away it seemed harder and harder with the thought that he wouldn’t physically see the green eyed lad for 3 months. When he and Holden got home though he was sure they would both be a crying mess, well the 4 year old already was, but Aaron would be joining him. So here was day 1 out of 90 without Robert.
*~*
Aaron looked over the top of his glasses, his eyes landing on the 17 year old reading from the book and let out a quiet breath as he took his sweet time. He glanced over to the clock, time seeming to be going in slow motion, and when he looked over at Holden he saw the 4 year old with his head on the desk and noticing him a second away from groaning.
“Alright Bryan, thank you,” Aaron said, stopping him at the end of the sentence before he could continue. And if he wasn’t mistaken he could hear some sighs of relief from the class. “Why don’t we move onto something a bit more fun, yeah? It is Friday after all, we can end it on a happy note,” he said, placing his book on his desk and standing up before clapping his hands together in front of him to snap the teenagers out of their dazes. “Let’s do some improv. You guys know the drill, whoever wants to play c’mon down.”
Aaron was at least happy about three kids came down, but when he shifted his attention to Holden has saw the toddler wearing the same frown he has been for nearly two weeks now. “Buddy you don’t want to play?” he asked softly, normally the 4 year old being the first one out of his seat.
Holden let out a deep breath, shaking his head before putting it back down on the desk in front of him.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded at his son before looking back to his students and picking a random scene for them to do. As soon as they were settled they started and he took his seat back at his desk, only for his attention to be drawn to Holden and not the kids performing.
He knows how hard it’s been for Holden, how much he misses Robert, and it’s hard for him too to not see the younger lad everyday or even talk to him regularly.
Normally after daycare Robert would pick Holden up and the two had that time to spend together. But now with Robert touring they were back to their old schedule of Ross picking him up and bringing him to the school. And no matter what Aaron did and how hard he tried to up the 4 year old’s spirits nothing worked, not even offering to buy a leash for Rob so he could go on walks with them. He’s made Holden’s favorite foods and every night they watch his favorite movies but absolutely nothing is cheering him up.
Aaron tried to think of something to do to cheer Holden up as he watched his students though, but he came up blank. And when the kids were done with the scene he called it a day, dismissing his class and giving them a final wave as they all walked out before leaning back in his chair and groaning into his hands.
“Daddy can we go home now?” Holden mumbled, already getting up from his seat and picking up his backpack.
“Yeah, c’mon,” Aaron said, pushing himself up and grabbing his messenger bag before slinging it over his shoulder. “Anything you want to do tonight? If you want we can go out and do something,” he offered, taking the 4 year old’s hand and leading him out of the room.
“No, I just want to go home,” Holden mumbled, his gaze locked on his feet as he walked.
Aaron looked down at Holden, letting out a small breath before nodding at him and squeezing his hand gently. “Well when we get home we can walk Addi and then you and I can make dinner together, how does that sound?” he asked, offering the toddler his most convincing smile.
“Fine,” Holden shrugged.
“Good…” Aaron breathed out, but then something popped into his head, he had almost completely forgotten what day it was. “Buddy! Guess what?!”
Holden looked up at his daddy confused as he followed him out of the school, not sure why he was so excited. “What?”
“We’re expecting a phone call from a certain someone tonight,” Aaron said, wiggling his eyebrows at his son before opening the car back door for him.
Holden froze as he was halfway in the car, slowly turning his head and looking to his father wide eyed. “Papa?” he asked quietly. “He gonna call?!”
Aaron swears he can’t remember the last time he saw Holden this excited but when he nodded the 4 year old nearly lunged at him and crushed him in a hug.
Communicating was a lot harder than Aaron and Robert initially thought. They could text but because of the time difference there were maybe two or three texts exchanged between them a day at most, phone calls and facetime was nearly impossible too. Robert was also beyond busy with shows, interviews, photoshoots, meet and greets, and more promotional things, so Aaron didn’t blame the younger lad. It was more than clear how terrible Robert felt about it, and Aaron could see that he really was trying, but it was just too hard sometimes. So Robert set aside time specifically for them as soon as he realized how hard it was, and promised to call them and actually be able to talk for more than 15 minutes at a time.
“C’mon daddy we get home quick so papa call!” Holden said, wiggling out of his daddy’s arms and climbing into the car.
Aaron laughed to himself as he buckled Holden in and then made his way to his own seat. “Buddy he won’t call when we get home, he will around 6 I think,” he said, starting the car.
“That okay,” Holden said, unable to wipe the smile off his face.
Aaron glanced in the rear view mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot and grinned back at his son. He hasn’t seen Holden this happy since before Robert left, and this was all because they were getting a phone call.
Even when they got home and started their walk with Addi Holden was still smiling from ear to ear, a little skip in his step as they strolled down the pavement. That at least made Aaron feel better, and he would be lying if he said he was as excited if not more so than Holden about Robert calling. It was crazy to him that something as simple as a phone call could turn their moods around, but that was just how much they missed Robert, not just seeing him, but talking to him too.
The entire walk Holden couldn’t stop babbling to Addi, telling the puppy about what he was going to say to his papa, and the stories he would tell from what him and his daddy got up to or what has been happening at daycare. Aaron himself had his fair share of things to tell the younger lad, but while Holden was awake he was going to let the 4 year old have time with his father. As soon as the toddler was in bed though Aaron was going to have Robert all to himself.
“Rob we home!!” Holden yelled as they walked through their front door, Addi tugging at the leash, already wanting to be off it.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he kicked off his shoes, but as soon as he saw the grey and white fluffy cat meet them at the door it was nearly impossible not to laugh. “C’mere fluffball,” he said, scooping up the cat and kissing him. “What’re we thinking for dinner R? Maybe some steak and potatoes, a pie for dessert? And you can make us a salad maybe?”
“I can do that,” Holden shrugged.
“Oh good,” Aaron chuckled, squeezing the cat one more time before setting him down and letting him run off with Addi. “I’m happy you’re feeling better buddy,” he said quietly. “You happy about papa calling?”
“Really happy,” Holden said through a soft smile. “I wish papa call more but I know he busy…”
Aaron let out a small breath as he took a seat next to the 4 year old on the couch and pulled him into his side. “I know you miss him buddy, and I miss him too,” he said gently. “And we both know he misses us like crazy too, it isn’t easy for anyone.”
“I know,” Holden breathed out, resting his head on his daddy’s side. “I bet when we on the phone later he gonna cry,” he said through a giggle.
“You’d win that bet,” Aaron agreed as he laughed to himself and kissing his son’s hair. “I bet you’ll cry too, you blubbering baby,” he teased, poking Holden’s side and making a sharp laugh escape him.
“I-I won’t! I-I’m a big b-boy!!” Holden said between his laughter, trying desperately to push his daddy’s tickling hands away.
Aaron hummed, more than happy to see Holden laughing, smiling, just doing anything than frowning and being glum.
“Daddy y-you better stop!!”
“Or what?” Aaron asked, continuing his attack. “Are you gonna send your attack dog Addi on me?” he asked jokingly. “I’ll only stop if you tell me how much you love me!”
Holden groaned, and for that the tickling got worse. “Okay, o-okay I love you!”
“That’s not enough!!”
“Daddy I love you so s-so so much! Please!!” Holden begged, needing this form of torture to stop.
Aaron stopped tickling the 4 year old, pulling his breathless son into his chest and looking down at him softly. “You love me? Really?” he asked with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.
Holden looked up at his father like “are you kidding me?” before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Ugh, get away from me,” he said, climbing out of his daddy’s lap and walking off to find Addi and Rob.
Aaron felt his jaw go slack as he watched the toddler walk away before letting out an airy laugh. “Love you too!” he called after him, hearing a “yeah, whatever” come back from his son.
*~*
“Daddy!!!” Holden screamed at the top of his lungs. “It’s ringing! It’s ringing! It’s ringing!!!!”
Aaron quickly took the pie out of the oven, nearly throwing it on the counter and tugging his oven mitts off before running into the living room to get his laptop. He may have tripped on the coffee table leg and almost accidentally knocked his laptop off the table in his rush, but he still got to the accept button in time, it not even being a second later he saw the green eyed lad come onto the screen.
“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, leaning towards the camera and maybe getting a bit too close to it.
“R back up, c’mon,” Aaron said through a laugh as he pulled the 4 year old into his lap, his smile blinding just at seeing Robert through the screen. “Hi love.”
And Robert was just staring back at them, almost trying to figure out if what he was seeing was real before he covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head.
“Told you he gonna cry,” Holden muttered, already able to see tears on his papa’s cheeks and his shoulders shaking. “Papa snap out of it! Talk to me!!”
Robert nodded quickly, wiping his wet cheeks and clearing his throat, at least somewhat trying to gather himself. “My God, look at you two,” he said, still not believing they were in front of him.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile from widening even more. “And look at you,” he said through a chuckle. “Did you just get back from a show or something? You’re all sweaty.”
“What? No, no,” Robert laughed, running his fingers through his sweaty curls. “I had a show earlier yeah, but then after some of us went to a club. It’s like 3 am now and we just got back a little while ago.”
Aaron opened his mouth, about to ask if the younger had fun before Holden jumped in.
“Papa daddy say we buy leash for Rob so he go on walk with us!!”
“Did he really?” Robert asked, his gaze shifting to Aaron and raising his eyebrows at him.
And again Aaron was about to talk but the 4 year old quickly cut him off. He didn’t mind of course, he was happy to see Holden so happy. Aaron swears he can’t remember the last time his son talked this much, and this was Holden, the kid never shut up. But he had to update his papa on everything that had happened in the past two weeks. Even though not all that much happened, Holden had plenty to say.
Of course Robert sat there, entertaining the 4 year old and nodding along to what he was saying, trying to comment here and there but Holden’s rambling took over for the most part. If anything Robert was happy to just see the two, but listening to his son made him over the moon happy.
Holden just talked and talked, tripping over his words, and started hiccupping from not breathing normally, but that didn’t stop his rambling. Aaron was almost worried that Holden would pass out from talking too much, but when it got to bed time the 4 year old immediately started pouting and whining.
“Buddy it’s okay, I can call again tomorrow, same time,” Robert said, him not wanting the 4 year old to give Aaron a hard time.
“Babe you’ll tire yourself out if you keep staying up these crazy hours, it’s okay,” Aaron said, it already being 5 am Robert’s time, he didn’t want him to do this two days in a row.
“No, no, it’s fine,” Robert waved off. “First off I want nothing more than to talk to the two of you as much as possible, and second I’ll be flying tomorrow so we can talk while I’m on the plane.”
“Where you going tomorrow papa?” Holden asked, hoping he could distract his daddy enough where he wouldn’t tell him to go to bed.
“Tomorrow I’ll be in Tokyo. Don’t worry buddy, I’ll be sure to get you one of those cool lookin robes.”
“Papa it called a Yukita,” Holden said like it was well known fact.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, opening and closing his mouth as he looked between the 4 year old and Aaron, having no clue how his son knew that.
“While you’ve been away R and I have been doing some cultural studying on the different places you’ll be going,” Aaron said, seeing Robert grow more and more confused. “What else do we know about Tokyo buddy?”
“It the capital of Japan!” Holden said excitedly.
“Wow, nice big guy,” Robert said as he looked at Holden impressed.
Holden smiled proudly to himself, but it was only a second later he felt his daddy pull him into his chest and he knew he was about to be carried upstairs.
“Say goodnight to papa buddy, it’s already past your bedtime.”
Holden groaned, knowing this was coming before looking back to the computer screen sadly. “Goodnight papa,” he said quietly, slightly waving to the camera. “I miss you but I talk to you tomorrow so it okay.”
“Goodnight buddy, I love you,” Robert said softly, waving back at the camera. “Aaron want to give him a thousand kisse for me?”
Aaron didn’t want to be told twice before showering the 4 year old in kisses, only stopping when Holden started to squirm in his arms. “Alright, give me two minutes R, I’ll be right back,” he said to Robert, getting a nod from the younger lad.
Holden let out a small breath but nodded anyway, knowing there was no point in fighting it. So he blew his papa one more kiss and waved to him a final time before his daddy picked him up and carried him towards the stairs. At least when they got to his bedroom Addi and Rob were already on his bed waiting for him, that made him feel a bit better.
“You happy buddy? I’m sorry you have to go to bed, but at least we can talk to papa again tomorrow,” Aaron said, getting the 4 year old under the covers.
“Really happy,” Holden said through a soft smile. “It nice to talk to papa.”
“I know it is,” Aaron said, grinning back down at his son. “Goodnight buddy, I love you.”
“Love you too,” Holden said quietly, feeling his daddy kiss his head.
And it was only a second later Aaron was pulling away, smiling down at Holden one more time before patting Addi’s head and leaving the room, heading back downstairs to talk to Robert since he couldn’t get a single word in the whole 2 hours since Holden had the younger lad’s attention.
“Hello my love, I’m back,” Aaron said happily, taking a seat on the couch and placing his computer on his lap.
Robert smiled at the camera, letting out a small breath and locking his eyes on Aaron, just happy the older lad was in front of him. “I really miss you,” he said quietly.
Aaron bit the inside of his cheek, nodding as he looked down to his lap and brushed his fingers through his hair. “I really miss you too…” he barely whispered.
It was quiet for a moment, the two just looking at each other and letting out slow, deep breaths, just to keep themselves from crying. They only had so much time to talk, they weren’t going to waste it with tears.
“How uhm… How’ve you been? And R, how’s he holding up?” Robert asked softly.
“I’ve been okay,” Aaron breathed out. “It is a bit quieter here, and m’not gonna lie, I’ve been pretty lonely… I hate just not talking to you, and I know it’s not your fault, but it is hard.”
Robert opened his mouth, ready to say that yes, this was his fault, all of it, but he knew Aaron wouldn’t have any of it. “I know I’ve been bad about answering my phone, and I’m sorry… I promised you guys could call me anytime and so far I’ve broken it at least a dozen times,” he said, shaking his head and sucking in a deep breath.
“I understand R, so does Holden, it’s okay,” Aaron reassured him. “We know it’s hard with the time difference and you’re so busy all the time, it’s fine.”
All Robert wanted to do was shake his head and say it’s not fine, because to him it really wasn’t. “Well uhm, how’s R been? I saw in a couple of your texts that he’s been a bit off.”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, not sure if the younger lad could help with Holden since he’s away, but maybe he could give some advice. “Ever since you left he’s been… I dunno, like lost,” he said quietly. “He’s been distant and moody and quiet, and everything I try to do to help him doesn’t work, I’m at a loss… It was only today when I told him you were calling where I saw him smile for the first time since you left.”
“Babe I’m sorry,” Robert said, combing his fingers through his hair and letting out a deep breath, hating that Holden was so upset because of him. “I honestly wish there was something I could do… I really will try to call more, I promise.”
Aaron looked down to his lap, the only thing he could do was nod again. “You know every night to help him calm down and fall asleep I play him your first album,” he said through a small laugh. “I told him that’s how we fell in love… I think it helps a bit.”
Robert felt a slow, wide smile come over him as he heard the older lad, almost feeling a blush rise on his cheeks.
“And he’ll lay in bed and sing quietly to Addi or Rob… I don’t think he’s noticed me standing in the doorway but every night I hear him,” Aaron said, his gaze focused on his folded hands in his lap. “I love hearing your guys’ voices mixed together. If I’m being honest I think it helps me too,” he said through a sheepish chuckle.
Robert just looked at the older lad, wanting nothing more than to hold Aaron, to wrap his arms around him and kiss him, and tell him everything was going to be okay. But he was thousands of miles away, and would be for months.
“Aaron I love you…” Robert barely whispered, feeling his eyes pool with tears. “I love you and Holden, I-...” he trailed off. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Aaron said, almost firmly as he shook his head. “We’re okay here, really,” he tried to assure him. “I don’t want you to feel bad, I want you to have fun on tour and share your talents with the world.”
Robert just shook his head again, sniffling and trying to gather himself.
“You know I really want to keep talking to you but it’s like 6 am your time, you should really get some sleep love,” Aaron said softly.
“Alright, c’mon let’s go to bed,” Robert said, picking up his laptop and bringing it over to his bed before tugging his shirt off and lying down. “Well… Go to bed.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, a small laugh escaping him as he shrugged and picked up his laptop. He nearly jogged up the stairs, maybe a bit too excited for this, but after not sleeping next to Robert for two weeks a computer image of him seemed better than nothing. So he made his way to his bedroom, placing his laptop on the bed and stripping down until he was in his boxers before getting on top of his covers.
“Okay, I’m in bed,” Aaron laughed, fixing his screen so the camera was focused on him
“Good,” Robert said through a yawn, looking like he was reaching for something before the lights on his end went out.
All Aaron could see was a darkened version of his boyfriend, the light from the computer making him at least somewhat visible.
“I love you,” Robert half mumbled into his pillow, a sleepy smile coming over him.
“Love you too,” Aaron said, biting his own grin back before reaching for his lights and turning them off as well. “Goodnight R.”
“G’night Aaron,” Robert said, already feeling himself drifting off to sleep.
And Aaron just watched the younger lad’s breaths get slower and deeper, those snores that he’s missed so much the past two weeks coming through his laptop speakers and filling the room. For the first time in what felt like forever Aaron felt himself peacefully fall asleep, and even if he did wake up a few times during the night Robert was still there on the screen, his own sleeping form still visible. They may be worlds away, but at least they still had this, and after waking up about three times during the night at least Aaron could wake up to see his boyfriend.
Just at knowing Robert was there Aaron slept better than he has since the younger lad left, and even when he woke up in the morning his laptop was still on, and so was Robert’s. The only difference was that the green eyed lad wasn’t there, but a note.
Aaron,
I know you keep telling me that it’s not my fault, that I shouldn’t feel bad for leaving, but in my mind I’ve abandoned you… And that was something I never wanted to do again.
I know I’ve made a lot of promises, and haven’t been the best at keeping them… But I promise to be there the best I can for you and R. And I promise to have fun, no matter how hard it will be without the two of you here with me.
Waking up next to you again has made me happier than I’ve been at all these past weeks without you, and maybe tomorrow we can try a different kind of pillow talk. You know, the kind we did all those years back when I was on the road for a while. Might want to close your door and make sure Holden is sleeping though… We wouldn’t want him to think you were having a nightmare and moaning in your sleep or something ;)
Love you,
R
And as Aaron read it he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Even if the last few sentences had his cheeks turning crimson, just at this note he was feeling better. So here was to day 15 of 90 without Robert.
Notes:
Thoughts on the chapter ? Think with Robert being away it will get harder ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks xx
Chapter 15
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aaron had his face hidden in his hands, completely hunched over his desk and a headache nearly paralyzing him to his chair.
For hours he’s been trying to figure out his and Holden’s schedule, mixed with Robert’s, and then everything with Pete’s wedding, he couldn’t keep any days straight. Aaron thought it would be a simple task, picking when to join Robert on tour, but if anything it’s been making him more stressed than planning the musical was.
Aaron was almost there though, dates and times were somewhat figured out, as were bills for Holden’s summer camp. All he really had to do now was call Clara, finalize everything and take some medicine for his head.
“Don’t think too hard, your head might explode.”
Aaron snapped his head up, a small laugh escaping him as he saw Adam step into his classroom. “It’s okay, I finished anyway.”
“What were ya doin?” Adam asked, making his way towards the older lad’s desk and taking a seat on it.
“Planning when R and I will go with Robert on tour,” Aaron said happily, just at the thought of them being together again had him nearly jumping in his seat. “Had to plan around summer camps and Pete’s wedding, but finally I got it all figured out.”
“That’s awesome Aaron,” Adam said through a soft smile, knowing Robert being away has been hard for them. “When’re you guys going? I’m joining him as soon as school let’s out and basically all summer so I’ll probably be with you.”
“Definitely,” Aaron nodded. “We’re leaving the first week of July and staying with him until late August.”
“Why not leave after school ends?” Adam asked confused. “That way you can be in Germany with us and we smoke up like we used to.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he shook his head, the Irish lad still sounding like his 20 year old self. “First of all I smoked maybe twice with you, second of all I’m a father, and third Holden has a summer camp he goes to every year so I wanted to make sure he could see his friends for a bit before we jet off.”
“We definitely smoked more than twice,” Adam scoffed. “You were probably too high to even remember.”
Aaron shrugged, that possibly being very true, but that was beside the point. “Whatever,” he muttered. “All I care about is that we’re with Robert for at least a little bit.”
“He’ll be so happy mate,” Adam said softly. “I’ve barely talked to him but from what I’ve gotten he’s a right mess without you two.”
“Not gonna lie, it is hard,” Aaron breathed out, shuffling some of his papers on his desk and organizing what he needed for his next class. “But we’re a month in and no one has completely lost their heads yet.”
“How’s Holden?” Adam asked quietly. “Know he was having a bit of a hard time.”
“Yeah… He went from being quiet and sad to temper tantrums and crying everyday,” Aaron said, rubbing his hands over his face and leaning back in his chair. “I just don’t think he knows how to deal with missing him, y’know?”
Adam bit his lip as he nodded, understanding why Holden was acting out. He couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be for the 4 year old to not see or talk to his father daily. “Well in another 2 months you guys will be together again and we’ll party throughout Europe,” he said, clapping the older lad on the back.
Aaron had to almost stop himself from letting out a sarcastic laugh, Adam making it sound so easy. But he couldn’t even contain himself just at the thought of seeing Robert in person again and not through a computer screen. Robert would be back for Pete’s wedding and even though the younger lad wasn’t all that excited to go Aaron was just happy he was going to be back home for at least a little bit before they jetted off.
“Wait, when is Robert in Germany?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking for the green eyed lad’s touring schedule in his mess of papers.
“July 1st through the 8th or 9th.”
Aaron nodded, looking through both his and Robert’s schedule, seeing that was the start of the Europe leg of the tour. “Oh okay, so we will be with him then. That means-”
“We can smoke up!!” Adam said excitedly. “Mate we are gonna get so high! Seriously it’s okay, Holden can stay with someone while we do it, it’ll be like the old days!!”
Aaron laughed to himself and hummed, and just as he was about to say something a voice stopped him.
“Uhm, Mr.Dingle? Mr. Barton?”
The two snapped their heads towards the door, a few startled looking teenagers staring at them a bit amused.
Aaron looked at his students wide eyed, not even hearing the bell or the kids enter the room. “R-hey guys we were uhm, i-it wasn’t what it sounded like, we-”
“It’s cool Mr.Dingle, we didn’t hear anything,” Bryan said, sending his teacher a quick wink before hearing a few snickers from his classmates and heading to his seat.
Aaron just stared at the teenager, his mouth opening and closing, trying desperately to come up with some excuse. And when he looked over at Adam for help the younger lad just shrugged and mouthed a “sorry” before hopping off his desk and heading out of the classroom.
Sometimes Aaron really hated the Irish lad.
*~*
“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly as he got tucked in, earning a hum from his father. “Did papa answer today?”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he shook his head, almost immediately earning a frown from the toddler, and there was no way he could handle another temper tantrum right now. Holden already had about three tonight, a fourth would end him.
“Buddy I’m sorry,” he said softly. “He read it but didn’t answer, I’m sure he says hi and misses you too though.”
“Then how come he didn’t say it?” Holden mumbled through a whine as he turned away from his daddy.
“R, c’mon,” Aaron said gently, trying to calm him down. “Papa didn’t answer the text but he sent me something else, do you want to hear it?”
Holden nodded against his pillow, not turning around to face his daddy though as he hid further under his covers.
Aaron bit his lip as he pulled out his phone, opening the audio message Robert sent him before turning his volume up and setting it down on the side table. He hasn’t listened to it himself yet, wanting to listen to it for the first time with Holden so he had no clue what was on it.
“Hey R, it’s your dear old pop here.”
And just at that Aaron wanted to roll his eyes as he heard Robert on the recording, but at least Holden was laughing a bit as well.
“Daddy was telling me how you haven’t been feeling all that well since I left… That you’ve been a bit lost, and honestly buddy I’ve been feeling the same way,” Robert’s voice came quietly over the speaker before there was a moment of silence, almost as if the younger lad was gathering himself. “And I’m sorry I can’t be there for you, for both of you…”
Aaron looked down at Holden, gently rubbing his son’s back and seeing him carefully roll over. And even in the dark room, the only light coming from Holden’s night light, Aaron could see the toddler’s eyes pool with tears, him biting his lip and trying desperately not to cry.
“I really miss you guys,” Robert said, it coming out almost strained. “But I’m really hoping this recording will help in someway, especially you Holden,” he said softly. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurting and that I haven’t done anything for you, that I can’t be there for you… And that you’ve been in pain since I left, and I’ve known and haven’t helped, but I’m hoping this can… This is for you buddy.”
Holden looked to his daddy, sniffling to himself before sitting up and climbing on his father’s lap, just wanting to be held. And of course his daddy wrapped his arms around him, kissing his head and pulling him into his chest just before the two heard a piano coming through the speakers.
At the music Aaron picked his head up, his eyes shifting between his phone and Holden, the toddler nearly going still in his arms. And as soon as they heard Robert singing Holden was crying. He couldn’t put into words how much he missed his papa, missed his voice and bad jokes. And as he listened to him singing it only made him miss him more. But it was at the chorus he was really crying, hiding his face in his daddy’s chest and gripping his shirt, just wanting to hold onto something.
Aaron himself was at a loss of words, it sounding like Robert really knows how Holden is feeling, that he understood and wanted to help in some way. The younger lad’s voice was firm, wanting to get the message across to Holden, and from the looks of it he did. (X)
‘Cause you are not alone
I’m always there with you
And we’ll get lost together until the light comes pouring through
‘Cause when you feel like you’re done, and the darkness has won
Babe you’re not lost
When your world’s crashing down
And you can’t bear the thought
I said, babe, you’re not lost
Aaron could feel Holden sniffling against him, the toddler clinging to him and hiding his face in his chest as he listened to his papa. He himself was close to tears, the words Robert was singing were breathtaking, it sounding like the younger lad really knew how Holden was feeling, and that he was feeling the same exact way. Aaron knew it was just a song, but maybe it was a song that could help Holden, could remind the toddler that his papa was here for him and always would be.
And when the song was over Holden asked to listen to it again, just wanting to hear his papa’s voice. So Aaron played it again, and again after that, letting Robert’s voice sooth Holden until he fell asleep in his lap.
*~*
Aaron glanced up from his book as he stood in front of his class, giving the teenager who just finished reading the section a small smile. “Alright, so in this scene what do you think is happening? What’s the mood?”
He wasn’t all that surprised to get blank stares back though, it being Monday after all and just before lunch, so that didn’t help anything.
“Guys I know you’re hungry and bored but just humor me for a little bit longer,” Aaron said, walking in front of the class and pulling his glasses off. “Alice what did you think about it? Did you hate the scene? Did you love it? Just gimme something.”
“I dunno Mr.Dingle it was pretty boring,” she shrugged. “Like nothing is happening it just seems like a waste of time.”
“Okay, good,” Aaron nodded, happy to get any feedback at all. “Do you think this scene is necessary to the play? Does it hold any significance?”
And again there was silence, a few students nearly groaning and throwing their heads back as the time dragged on.
Just as Aaron was about to say something though he heard his phone ringing from his pocket, letting out a quiet breath before pulling it out and looking at it. Usually it’s on silent and always in his bag but since Robert’s been gone he’s kept it on him, always wanting to be able to answer whenever the younger lad calls. But at seeing the number for Holden’s daycare calling him he didn’t waste a second before picking up, telling his students to talk amongst themselves for a minute.
“Hello?” he asked into the phone.
“Mr.Dingle?”
“Yes, speaking,” Aaron said, biting his lip nervously, not once ever getting a call from them.
“Hi, so uhm, we have to talk to you about Holden, could you come down to the daycare? I’m sorry but you have to come and pick him up.”
Aaron stilled for a second, opening and closing his mouth, something like this never happening before. “What? Why? Is he okay?”
“He’s perfectly fine, we just need you to come get him.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course, be there soon,” Aaron rushed out before hanging up and turning back to his class that was watching him curiously. “You guys are dismissed, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, already walking over to his desk to get his things.
No one in the class moved, the kids just watching their teacher rush around. And it was only when Aaron gathered all of his things and said a quick goodbye to his students did any of them actually get out of their seats and see that he was serious about dismissing them.
Aaron rushed down the halls, making sure to stop at the office and letting them know he was leaving because something was wrong with Holden before nearly running to his car.
He wished they told him something, that if he was sick or throwing a temper tantrum, or just anything so he wouldn’t worry so much. But the entire time he raced to the daycare his mind was running away from him, a thousand thoughts of what could have happened before he pulled into the parking lot and rushed towards the building.
“Where is he? Is he okay?” Aaron asked as soon as he stepped into room, Hollie meeting him right at the door.
“He’s fine, we just had some problems today,” Hollie said quietly.
“Okay, like what? Is he sick?”
Aaron saw Hollie shake her head, her gaze shifting to the other side of the room and he immediately followed where she was looking. Holden was sitting in the corner of the room, his arms crossed over his chest and a hard scowl on his face as he stared at the floor.
“Can you just tell me what happened?” Aaron asked, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face.
“Well… Holden kind of got in a fight with WilPete,” Hollie said slowly. “One second they were playing and the next Holden was pushing him to the floor and trying to hit him, I’m sorry but he has to go home for the day.”
Aaron froze for a second, letting Hollie’s words sink in before he looked back to Holden across the room. “What?” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure she heard him. “No, no, that can’t be… R wouldn’t hurt a fly, there’s no way this is his fault.”
“Aaron I watched everything happen myself, I really am sorry.”
Aaron shook his head, letting out a deep breath as he didn’t believe it but he wasn’t going to fight Hollie on this if she saw Holden do what she said he did. So instead he walked towards his son, the 4 year old keeping his eyes locked on the floor even after Aaron knelt down to him.
“Buddy,” he said softly. “C’mon, we have to go, but we’re talking about this.”
Holden didn’t do anything. Just sat there still, his arms still crossed over his chest and a scowl sketched on his face even as his daddy picked him up.
Aaron gathered Holden’s things, saying a quiet sorry to Hollie and that they’d see her tomorrow before carrying Holden out to the car and strapping him in.
He didn’t even know what to think, what to say as he got into the car himself and started heading off towards the road. Hearing that Holden was in a fight was something Aaron never imagined he would be told, he didn’t know why the toddler would ever lay a hand on anyone else and try to purposefully hurt them. And even when he pulled up to the house Aaron was still at a loss of what to say to Holden. He thought that he should probably start by asking what had happened but before the car was even fully parked in the driveway Holden was trying to get out.
“Buddy, buddy relax,” Aaron said, quickly hopping out and rushing to the backseat, trying to help the toddler.
He was trying to unbuckle the 4 year old as quickly as he could, Holden already crying and now Aaron was really at a loss. But he picked up his son and pulled him into his chest, kissing his head and rubbing his back, just needing him to calm down.
As soon as Aaron stepped foot into the house both Addi and Rob were right there, meeting them at the door. The puppy was barking happily as soon as she saw Holden, but she stopped as soon as she saw him crying in his daddy’s arms, instead following after them worriedly.
“R, it’s okay big guy,” Aaron said softly, taking a seat on the couch and adjusting him on his lap. “Do you want to tell me what happened? I don’t like seeing you upset buddy.”
Holden quickly shook his head, crying into his daddy’s neck and curling into his chest. “Daddy I sorry, I-I really am.”
“Alright, alright,” Aaron said, hearing the toddler nearly hyperventilating from crying so much. “R I really need you to relax, and calm down so we can talk.”
“Daddy Will say mean things! R-he got me m-mad and I-I-I-”
Aaron nodded, shushing Holden, wanting him to actually breathe. “Take a minute big guy… When you’ve calmed down we can talk, alright?”
Holden hiccuped a few more times, nodding against his daddy’s chest and trying his hardest to calm down. He didn’t want to tell his father what had happened, but he knew he had to. And maybe the sooner he did the sooner he could forget it ever happened.
So Holden calmed down, wiping his wet cheeks and letting out a few shaky breaths before looking up at his daddy. “W-well me and Will playing a-and he say mean things and I ignore him b-but he keep saying mean things cause he see me get sad.”
“Alright, what did he say big guy?” Aaron asked softly, rubbing the toddler’s back to keep him calm.
Holden bit his lip as he shook his head, not wanting to start crying. “R-he know papa gone…” he said quietly tucking his head into his daddy’s neck and sucking in a deep breath. “W-will say papa go b-because of me a-and he no want me.”
Aaron stilled for a second, looking down at his son with furrowed eyebrows and feeling his heart nearly break at seeing Holden quietly crying and hiding his face in his hands. “What?”
“He just say mean things a-about papa a-and I no want to listen to him,” Holden hiccuped out. “P-papa leave before I born and n-now he leave again a-and-”
“Whoa, whoa,” Aaron said, stopping him as he saw his son’s thoughts running away from him. “Buddy it’s not like that, don’t even think that,” he said almost firmly. “Things were complicated before you were born… He didn’t leave you, he never has, alright?”
“It be so long,” Holden whined, doing everything he could not to start crying again.
Aaron let out a quiet breath, rubbing a hand over his face as he nodded. It’s been just over 2 months since Robert left and Aaron never thought it would be this hard. He thought the younger lad would answer his texts or pick up his phone when he called. He thought Robert would jump at the opportunity to talk to them and for some reason Aaron can’t figure out the curly haired lad rarely answers him when he calls. Usually they have to wait until Robert calls them, but that’s maybe two or three times a week at most.
Aaron knows Robert is busy. That he must be exhausted from travelling and performing so much, giving interviews and showing up here and there to keep appearances up. But he just wished the younger lad tried a little harder.
“R you need to know that papa has never left you, and he never will alright?” Aaron asked softly. “This is part of his job, and I know it’s hard but before you know it he’ll be back with us.”
Holden released a shaky breath, nodding against his daddy and sniffling to himself. “I sorry I hurt Will daddy… I know it not okay to hurt someone, even if I mad…”
“Thank you for apologizing buddy,” Aaron said, pressing a kiss to the 4 year old’s head. “Hopefully tomorrow we can talk to him, because what he said to wasn’t nice either and we can get this all sorted out.”
Aaron saw Holden nodding again, and he was happy his son understood what he did wasn’t right. But he really did want to talk to Hollie tomorrow about what Will said, that not being okay with him at all. But there was someone else he wanted to talk to too.
“Buddy I’m gonna make us some lunch alright? You just relax here for a little bit.”
Holden said a quiet “okay”, watching as his daddy got up from the couch and turned the tv on for him before he pat the couch and had Addi sit with him.
Aaron offered his son a tight lined smile before heading off towards the kitchen, immediately pulling out his phone and dialing Robert’s number. He knew it was about 8pm in Singapore and that the younger lad didn’t have a show tonight, but tomorrow, so he should answer unless he was in an interview.
But Aaron wasn’t all that surprised when it went to voicemail. He just hoped Robert would answer so he could talk to Holden and assure him that he was coming home, and tell him that he hasn’t forgotten about him. Aaron knows Robert hasn’t, that he never could forget about Holden, but their son was 4, sometimes he forgot and just had to be reminded.
So Aaron tried calling Clara, knowing that she had to be with Robert and maybe she could get him on the phone. He’s never done this before so maybe they would see this as kind of an emergency and no matter what the younger lad was doing he would come to the phone.
Luckily Clara’s job was basically picking up the phone, and thankfully it didn’t even take three rings before Aaron heard her voice.
“Hey Aaron!”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, it almost sounding like Clara was screaming over a crowd and music blaring in the background. “Hey uhm, sorry if I’m interrupting something, but are you by chance with Robert?”
“Yeah! I’m actually babysitting him now!” Clara laughed to herself. “Hang on, lemme get him for you!”
Aaron said a quiet “thanks”, shifting his weight on his feet and biting his lip as he heard Clara moving through what sounded like a club. And it took a couple minutes but finally the noise in the background stopped and Robert’s voice was booming through the phone.
“Aaron!!” he said excitedly. “What’s happening? I’m so happy to hear from you!”
“Do you not have your phone on you?”
“Oh uh, no, I left it at the hotel charging,” Robert said quietly. “Why? Is something wrong? You know I was gonna call you as soon as I got back to the hotel. Clara and a few guys from the crew decided to get a few drinks first. And aren’t you teaching right now? I thought class ends in like 10 minutes and-”
“Robert,” Aaron said, stopping the younger lad’s constant questions. “I just… I need to talk to you.”
It was quiet for a second, the only sound being Robert’s breathing on the other end of the phone. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “Babe are you okay?” Robert asked worriedly. “How’s Holden, is he-”
“It’s about Holden,” Aaron said, stopping him again. “He… Well at daycare he got in a fight and this kid was bugging him about you leaving him and he pushed the kid down and was gonna hit him but I guess Hollie stopped him… And he’s starting to believe you won’t come back, and just… He misses you R, more than you know and he needs your help.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, not believing Holden got in a fight but didn’t hesitate before telling Aaron to put him on the phone.
Aaron didn’t need to be told twice, heading back into the living room where Holden was lying with Addi on the couch and watching tv. “Here buddy,” he said, passing the phone to the 4 year old.
Holden looked at his daddy confused before slowly reaching for the phone and putting it to his ear. As soon as he heard who it was though he went wide eyed, just at hearing his papa’s voice feeling tears pool in his eyes.
Aaron smiled down at his son, the toddler not even believing who he was talking to. He really wished they could talk to Robert more, something as simple as talking on the phone shouldn’t be some treat for Holden, but a regular occurrence. There was only so much he could do though. He talked to Robert as much as he could about it, constantly reminded him that if he has even 5 minutes it would mean the world to Holden for a simple text message or quick phone call. Aaron doesn’t understand why the younger lad isn’t trying harder, especially when he himself says how hard this is and how much he misses them. If he missed them as much as he says he does then he would be trying harder.
But Aaron offered Holden one more smile and kissed his head before going back into the kitchen, needing to make the two of them lunch so they don’t starve. He was beyond grateful that Robert could make Holden so happy so quickly, but he just wished these phone calls happened more often.
Less than a month, that’s what Aaron had to tell himself. That there was less than a month left and all of this would be over. Robert would be home, and they would spend a great summer together. But for now they just had to take it one day at a time.
*~*
Aaron let out a deep breath as he checked himself in the mirror, making sure everything fit right and that his suit actually looked complete.
“You look great mate,” Ross said, coming up behind the older lad and clapping him on the back. “They fitted it perfectly thankfully,” he said, looking in the mirror at his own reflection and seeing himself in an identical suit to Aaron’s.
Aaron opened his mouth, ready to agree before he saw Pete slowly come out of his own dressing room in his suit. “Mate… Holy shit, look at you,” he breathed out through a wide smile.
“Just a suit,” Pete shrugged sheepishly.
“Yeah, a suit you’ll be getting married in,” Ross scoffed. “But really, you look great Li.”
Pete couldn’t help the grin that came to him as he glanced in the mirror and let out a shaky breath. “Can’t believe I’m getting married in a week,” he shook his head.
“Yeah, what happened to the 2 year old brat I used to know that stuck gummy bears up his nose?” Aaron teased. “Or the the 6 year old who would fart in the bathtub just so he could pretend his battleships got blown up by the bubbles?”
Ross let out a barking laugh as Pete’s face turned bright red. Aaron thought maybe he could mention those in his toast at the wedding. It was his job as best man to thoroughly embarrass Pete, wasn’t it?
“I’m sorry Aaron, but do I need to remind you what you used to do when you were 4 and just discovered nail polish and hair ba-”
“Alright, alright!” Aaron said stopping him. “There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel pretty every now and then,” he joked, rolling his eyes and looking back in the mirror. “And you used to dress up with me so shut up.”
Ross looked between the two before shaking his head at them and scoffing. “You guys were weird kids,” he muttered.
Pete and Aaron glanced at each other, sending each other small smiles before shrugging. “Yeah, but we were weird together,” Pete said.
Aaron hummed, nodding his agreement before patting the younger lad on the back. “Who woulda guessed we’d end up here? Picking up wedding suits and stuff.”
“Oh c’mon Aaron, you always dreamed about marrying someone and having a thousand babies.”
Aaron rolled his eyes at Pete before walking over to his bag on the bench and checking his phone. “Kinda did it in the wrong order though, didn’t I?” he asked through a quiet laugh.
Pete bit his lip as he looked at the older lad and offered him a soft smile. “That’s okay though mate,” he said quietly. “How is Holden? He doing any better?”
“Much,” Aaron said, grinning back at his best mate. “After the whole daycare incident and he talked to Robert I took the phone back and talked to Robert about a few things.”
“And by that he means he yelled at the popstar for being shitty,” Ross snickered, the older lad already telling him this at work after it happened.
Pete looked at Aaron confused, not quite sure what Ross was talking about. But then again Aaron doesn’t discuss Robert with him often, and if he’s honest he doesn’t blame him.
“I didn’t yell at him,” Aaron huffed. “I just shared a couple concerns I had…”
“By yelling at him,” Ross muttered.
“I didn’t yell!”
Ross breathed out a quiet “whatever”, knowing that Aaron yelled at Robert, or raised his voice at him, whatever it is the older lad wants to call it.
“Mate what happened?” Pete asked with a touch of worry in his voice. “You guys are okay right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron nodded, the past couple weeks being better than they have been since Robert left after their talk over the phone. “He just… I felt like he wasn’t trying hard enough to call or text back and it was hard on Holden, hard on me, and I just wanted some more effort put in. I mean he’s in Australia now, and I know the time difference is crazy, but I wished he would try just a little... ”
“Understandable,” Pete shrugged. “He’s pretty busy though, isn’t he? Like shows, interviews, all that fun stuff?”
“Yeah but he was calling maybe twice or three times a week when I know he could’ve called more,” Aaron said quietly. “He’d be out clubbing and partying, and I want him to have fun, hell I told him to, and I’m happy he is, but just take a half hour, an hour to talk to us.”
“Things are good now though?” Pete asked with raised eyebrows. “I know R had that problem at daycare like what, was it 3 weeks ago?”
Aaron hummed, the past 3 weeks maybe being the best since Robert left because the younger lad was now constantly texting and calling, and it was the communication Aaron has been longing for.
“Things are great, especially with Holden” he said through a soft smile. “And best part is that Robert comes home in five days and then we’re jetting off.”
“He coming to the wedding?” Ross asked as he began to pull off his suit and put it back in his garment bag to take home.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over to Pete, the brown eyed lad saying Robert could come, but he still wasn’t sure. “I uh, I dunno… He’s still thinking about it.”
“Well let him know he’s welcome,” Pete said, sending his best mate a small smile before pulling off his own suit. “Of course I don’t blame him if he doesn’t come, just thought it would be fun for you.”
“I know,” Aaron breathed out, thinking he might have to convince Robert to go.
His mum was going to be there and he hasn’t seen her since Holden was born, and he could really use the moral support. Plus another certain someone was going to be there and Aaron was a bit uneasy about seeing him again as well, but he was one of Pete’s best mates and groomsmen after all, he couldn’t avoid him forever.
“I’ll be sure to let you know. We’ll talk about it tonight over the phone hopefully and probably some more when he comes home.”
Pete looked over and nodded at the older lad, seeing he was already out of his suit and getting ready to go. “Do you have to get Holden or something? I thought the three of us could grab a few pints.”
“Yeah, sorry mate, Adam is watching him at the house and I know I can never leave those two alone for too long,” Aaron laughed quietly. “Might come home to Rob shaved or Holden having new knowledge of where babies come from or something.”
“And you let the leprechaun watch him because…?” Ross asked chuckled.
“Because Holden adores him,” Aaron answered easily as he picked up his messenger bag and garment bag. “And to be honest I forgot over the past couple years how much I liked spending time with him too.”
Pete hummed, remembering how fun the Irish lad was all those years back. “Alright well say hi to Holden for us and I’ll call you later just to check in.”
“Sure,” Aaron said, sending the two a quick smile before waving to them and saying a final goodbye.
He made his way out to his car, making sure to place the garment bag carefully in the passenger seat before taking off down the road.
It was crazy for Aaron to think about Pete or getting married in a week, or just about Robert coming home in five days. It feels like it’s been forever since he saw the younger lad, and he couldn’t even put into words how much he’s missed him. Aaron knew he was holding it all in, that since Robert left he’s been somewhat a shell of a man. He couldn’t help but feel incredibly lonely and so lost when the younger lad left, but now Robert was coming home. Now he could feel whole again.
*~*
“Daddy did papa send a video today?” Holden asked as he climbed into bed and got under his covers.
“He did,” Aaron said through a soft smile, taking a seat on the bed and pulling out his phone.
This was something Aaron loved that Robert did. Two or three times a week he would send videos or audio recordings of songs, some of them being covers, others he wrote himself. Robert’s been doing this since he sent them the first song he did, the one he wrote for Holden, and Aaron knew it was the younger lad’s way of expressing what he couldn’t say. That’s what music was for Robert, another way to communicate when he lost his words, when he had a hard time getting what he wanted out. And if anything Aaron saw that not only did it help Robert, but him and Holden in more ways than one as well. But Robert was coming home from Australia in three days, and finally after what felt like forever they could be together, they could be a family again.
Holden grinned happily at his daddy before scootching closer to him, wanting to look at his phone screen. “What he send today?”
“It looks like papa wrote a song for us tonight,” Aaron said, trying to hold back the excitement he felt whenever the younger lad wrote them a song.
He loved covers as well, like Robert had done a cover of Fix You by Coldplay and it was so beautiful Aaron had a hard time trying not to cry. But songs that the younger lad wrote were always so meaningful, so connected to their situation, and Aaron always loved hearing how Robert as feeling. It was in the songs he wrote where Aaron really understood what was going through the younger lad’s head, and it was that that brought him some type of peace, knowing Robert was going through exactly what they were, that it wasn’t any easier for him.
“Alright, ready?” Aaron asked, getting an excited nod from the 4 year old.
“Yes!” Holden said excitedly, already tapping on his daddy’s phone screen to start the video.
Aaron let out a quiet laugh as he watched his son, kissing his head quickly before focusing on his phone.
As usual Robert said a little message to the two of them before they watched him focus on the piano in front of him, the notes coming out soft and beautifully as the younger lad carefully played. And of course as Robert started to sing Aaron nearly melted right there, his voice always being so strong and yet delicate and soothing at the same time. But it was the words that always got him. The lyrics Robert came up with were so honest and true that is made Aaron’s heart break.
Already the song reminded him so much of them, of just how much he missed the younger lad and wished he was home already. And from the words Robert was singing he seemed just as, if not more desperate to come home, to be with them again. (X)
Another airplane, another sunny place
I’m lucky I know, but I wanna go home
Mmm, I got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream, but you always believed in me
Aaron could barely feel himself breathing as he watched Robert playing, the younger lad looking like he was trying to keep himself together on the screen. And of course Holden was still in his arms, biting his lip to keep from crying and keeping his eyes locked on the phone.
Aaron kissed his head and rubbed his back, the words Robert was singing truly were heartbreaking, and three days seemed like forever away. The thought that they’ve even survived the past 3 months was shocking in itself, but at hearing this song three days couldn’t come faster.
And as the song went on that’s all he could think, the only thing that was running through his mind. But he was so focused on that and watching Robert playing that he didn’t hear the footsteps on the stairs, nor did he hear his son’s bedroom door creak open. Aaron was too lost in what was playing on his phone to even know that someone was there, but then he heard it.
All of a sudden it wasn’t just Robert’s voice through a speaker, but his actual voice, singing clear and crisp along with the video.
“It’ll all be alright… I’ll be home tonight… I’m coming back home…”
Aaron’s head snapped up as Holden’s did at the singing voice, both going wide eyed at seeing Robert standing in the doorway, smiling so wide it must’ve hurt and gentle tears rolling down his cheeks at the sight of them.
“Oh my God…” Aaron barely whispered, blinking quickly and trying to figure out if he was imagining things, but he was really there, Robert was directly in front of him. “Oh my God!!!”
“Papa!!!” Holden shrieked, bounding off his daddy’s lap and sprinting at his father.
Robert dropped to his son’s height, immediately engulfing him in a hug and trying to choke back a sob just at having Holden back in his arms. And it wasn’t even a second later Robert nearly fell to floor at feeling Aaron knock into him, clinging to him for dear life and crying into his neck.
Aaron tried to say something, just anything as he was back in Robert’s arms, the younger lad holding onto him and Holden so tightly, so securely that Aaron almost thought he was in a dream.
“W-why- R-how are y-you home?” Aaron managed to choke out, just barely being able to be heard over Holden’s crying as he clung to his papa.
Robert let out a watery laugh, kissing both Aaron’s and Holden’s heads before pulling them impossibly closer. “Who needs interviews and talk shows when I can come home to you two?”
Aaron didn’t even have time to smile before he felt Robert’s lips on his, the feeling of warmth and comfort that he’s been missing for so long was back in an instant. And God he never wanted to lose this feeling ever again.
“I love you and I missed you two so much, my God,” Robert rushed out, kissing Holden’s head before connecting his lips with older lad’s again again.
Aaron couldn’t help but grin against Robert, cupping his cheeks and letting out a deep breath against the younger lad.
Holden wasn’t doing anything, just clinging to his father and if he had it his way he wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. Even if Addi was barking and trying to get his papa’s attention Holden was going to hog as much of his father as he could.
“I love you so much,” Aaron mumbled against him, pecking his lips a few more times before releasing him and tucking his head in his neck, just breathing him in. “I can’t believe you’re home, I hate you, I hate surprises,” he laughed against the younger lad.
Robert chuckled to himself, pressing his lips to Aaron’s temple before pulling Holden closer to him. “Oh, so that’s why you’re smiling and happy? You hate me?” he teased.
“...Yes.”
Even Holden rolled his eyes as he heard his daddy, but he couldn’t care about his father being ridicuAarons because he was in his papa’s arms and he was finally home.
“I miss you so much papa,” he said quietly, kissing his father’s cheek before hugging him a bit tighter.
“And I can’t even say how much I missed you buddy,” Robert barely whispered. “I love you so so so much.”
“I love you too,” Holden mumbled into his papa’s chest.
Robert couldn’t help the smile that came to him, still not believing he was back home, that his two boys were in his arms. Coming home early and skipping out on his interviews was probably the best decision he’s made in the past 3 months. He wasn’t letting these two go anytime soon, and he was happy they had the same thought as they finally got up from off the floor and Robert carried Holden to Aaron’s room.
There was nothing more he wanted than to stay awake and catch up with Holden but he knew the toddler had to go to bed so he thought he could at least lay with him and talk quietly until he passes out.
Aaron couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he watched Robert put Holden on the bed and tug his own clothes off so he could lay down as well. And it was almost immediate Holden was right by his papa’s side, gripping onto him like he could leave any second before talking his father’s ear off, telling him all about what they’ve been up to and how much he missed him.
And Robert just held and listened to his son, almost having to bite back tears just at having him in his arms again, laying here with him and seeing just how big he got, how much he’s grown these past couple months. When he caught Aaron’s eye as he continued to listen to Holden the older lad was looking at him like this was all a dream, that none of this was real. So he reached for Aaron, tugging him towards the bed and as soon as he laid down he attached himself to Robert’s side.
They just listened to Holden talk and talk, and occasionally he would let his papa tell him how touring was and what is was like to play in front of thousands of people. But what Holden kept coming back to, what he said over and over again was how much he missed his papa.
Robert was sure those were the last words the 4 year old mumbled as he fell asleep tucked into his side. And it was then Robert looked down to Aaron, a slow smile creeping to his lips as he saw the older lad grinning back at him.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
Aaron couldn’t help but laugh quietly to himself as he rolled to his side and carded his fingers through Robert’s curls. He still couldn’t believe that he was here, that he was home.
“I missed you too,” Aaron said quietly, knowing they couldn’t talk above a murmur without potentially waking Holden up. “Thank you for coming home early…. Means a lot.”
“I wasn’t going to waste an opportunity to come home early,” Robert said softly as he shook his head. “Being without you two for so long… M’not gonna lie I lost it a few times…”
Aaron bit his lip as he let out a small breath and pushed his fingers through Robert’s curls. “You’re home now…”
“And here to stay,” Robert whispered, pressing his lips to Aaron’s temple and rubbing his back.
Aaron hummed, if possible snuggling even closer to the younger lad. He had Robert all to himself for over a month before he was back on the road. But it was a month Aaron was going to hold onto for as long as possible. They had a lot of catching up to do, and the first thing Aaron wanted to do to catch up was carefully get up from the bed, tugging at Robert’s hand and quietly leading him to the bathroom, hoping the sound of the shower could cover up any noises that might escape him or the younger lad. He couldn't help it. 3 months is a long time after all.
*~*
“You okay?” Robert asked softly, fixing Aaron’s tie as he saw him internally freaking out.
“M’fine,” Aaron breathed out, trying to convince himself. “I can’t believe today has finally come… I should probably check on Pete, it’s just Ross with him and God only knows what he’s saying to him.”
Robert nodded, giving the older lad’s sides a gentle squeeze. “Well you know if tonight you get uncomfortable or just want to leave we can.”
“I know,” Aaron said quietly, not sure what will happen when he sees his mom.
He knows Holden won’t even recognize her, the only time he’s seen her was a few times when he was just born and at the hospital. Aaron was excited for the night, his best mate was getting married after all, and Robert had decided to come after he begged the younger lad for days, but there were still things he was nervous about tonight.
“Love, you get R and take your seats alright? I’m gonna go to Pete’s room.”
“Sure,” Robert nodded, offering the older lad a small smile before pecking his lips. “Good luck up there.”
Aaron grinned back at him, kissing him one last time before he watched Robert take Holden’s hand and lead him out of the room.
He let out a deep breath, checking himself one more time in the mirror before leaving the small room, making his way towards Pete’s. It was crazy to think that his best mate was getting married, that after everything that’s happened this past year he was even here and Robert was actually here with him. When he walked into Pete’s room though sure enough the younger lad was in his suit, smiling so wide it must’ve hurt.
“Aaron, hey.”
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes immediately going wide as he saw the brunette man smiling at him. “Sean… Uhm hi, how uhm, how are you doing? Haven’t seen you in awhile,” he said through an airy laugh.
“M’good,” Sean nodded happily. “It’s really nice to see you. I’ve been thinking about-”
“Aaron!!”
“Mate! Hey!” Aaron said, immediately going over to Pete and wrapping his arms around him, just a bit too relieved to not hear whatever else it was Sean was going to say. “You excited? It’s finally happening!”
“I know, I know, I can’t wait to get out there,” Pete said, nearly bouncing in his shoes. “How’re you? Have you seen your mum yet?” he asked quietly.
“No,” Aaron shook his head, looking to his shoes. “I was just with Robert and Holden. I won’t see her until later… Maybe.”
“I’m sorry Aaron, my mum made me invite her, they’re still friends and-”
“Stop, stop, it’s fine,” Aaron chuckled. “I want to focus on you, it’s your day.”
Pete laughed sheepishly as he nodded, still in shock that he was about to get married.
“You all set? You need anything?” Aaron asked.
“Nah, I’m good,” Pete waved off. “Check on Ross though, I gotta talk to Sean real quick.”
Aaron glanced over to Sean, the older lad already smiling at him so he offered him a quick grin back before scurrying over to Ross. “Hey,” he breathed out.
“Hey mate,” Ross said happily, glancing up from his phone before looking right back down at it. “How’s Robert and Holden? They excited?”
“Holden can’t contain himself, my little ring bearer,” Aaron laughed quietly. “Robert has him now, they’re just waiting inside until it starts, then I’ll get R.”
“Good plan,” Ross muttered, keeping his eyes locked on his phone. “How is Robert doing with being here and all?”
Aaron shrugged. “He’s good. I’m just grateful he came, I had to basically beg him but because my mum is gonna be here he said he’d come for moral support.”
“M’sure you had to do a few favors to convince him, huh?” Ross asked through a small smirk.
“Please,” Aaron scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “Since he came back home it’s been nothing but, ya know…”
“Really?” Ross asked quietly, suddenly interested. “Get it in Aaron. How’s it been?”
Aaron opened his mouth, not even sure how to describe it. The only thing he could do was try to hide his sheepish laugh and shake his head.
“Crazy mate… It’s been a week and let’s just say we ran out of a new box of condoms already,” he whispered, his gaze focused on the floor so Ross wouldn’t see his blush. “Not gonna lie it’s been hard to keep Holden out of the bedroom, he’s basically attached to Robert at the hip. But as soon as he falls asleep we put him in his room.”
“Fuck mate, literally,” Ross scoffed.
“Got a lot to catch up on,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh.
Ross hummed, clapping his best mate on the back before sending him a proud grin. “Does Robert uhm… Does he know Sean is here?” he whispered.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, looking over to the older lad before glancing back at Ross. “Well he uh… He doesn’t know Sean exists.”
“...What?”
“It’s- it’s not like it’s a big deal,” Aaron stuttered out.
“Aaron!” Ross whisper yelled. “Yes it’s a big deal! He’ll freak if he finds out!!”
And again Aaron was a bit at a loss of what to say, so instead he didn’t say anything. He didn’t think Robert would freak out. Maybe he’d be a bit upset, but it’s not like Robert would be really mad. At least he didn’t think he’d be really mad…
Aaron couldn’t worry about this now though, Robert and Sean were the least of his troubles. Right now he was more concerned with his best mate getting married.
So he began his best man duties, making sure Pete was okay and that he had everything he needed before they all made their way towards the church doors to line up.
It was all so surreal, like none of this was happening. Holden lining up with them in his little tux and the pillow with the rings on it, the toddler nearly yelling how excited he was for his uncle. But all of this was happening.
Sophia’s maid of honor tucked her arm into the crook of Aaron’s elbow and they were walking down the aisle to the soft music.
Once Aaron was in place he looked out over at everyone, smiling at Pete’s mum and mouthing a quick “hi”. But then he saw his mum next to her, the older woman offering him a timid smile, and all he did was nod back at her once before scanning over the crowd for Robert.
It wasn’t hard to find him, him sitting in the front row and already smiling widely at him and giving him a thumbs up. It was impossible not to roll his eyes at the younger lad though, his attention was taken away by Holden coming down the aisle next, the toddler having a proud smile as he carried the rings.
Aaron grinned widely at his son, mouthing a happy “good job buddy!” before the 4 year old took his seat next to Robert. And when he looked over to Pete next to him, the younger lad nearly crying from how excited he was Aaron couldn’t help but rub his back, smiling at him and thinking that this is the first day of the rest of his best mate’s life.
*~*
“See? This isn’t so bad is it?” Aaron asked through a quiet laugh as Robert swayed them gently to the soft and slow music playing.
“Suppose not,” Robert fake huffed as he looked around the reception room, his eyes catching on Holden who was slow dancing with Ross and making a huge production of it. “Get to spend the night with you and R after all.”
“Cute,” Aaron muttered, resting his head on Robert’s shoulder and squeezing his side gently. “We’re only an hour into the reception and you’re already trying to get me into bed… C’mon love,” he teased.
“Oh hush,” Robert rolled his eyes. “I mean we both know how tonight will end, but right now I think I like dancing with you,” he said, dipping his head to kiss the older lad’s temple.
Aaron hummed, pulling Robert just a bit closer to him as they danced. “You’ve really been amazing tonight…”
Robert let out a quiet breath as he looked down at Aaron and rubbed his back. “Love, you should talk to her.”
“Later,” Aaron said plainly.
“Okay…” Robert said softly, not sure if Aaron was going to talk to his mum at all tonight. He thought the older lad should at least try.
“Excuse me.”
Aaron stopped as he felt a gentle hand on his arm, turning his head and swallowing thickly as he saw Sean smiling at him.
“Mind if I cut in?” Sean asked Robert, gesturing to the blue eyed lad.
Robert looked at him for a moment, not even sure if Aaron knew him, or why this guy wanted to dance with his boyfriend. But he muttered a “sure” anyway, offering Aaron a soft smile before squeezing his side and walking off to dance with Holden.
“C’mere R, your pop wants a dance,” Robert said, offering his hand to his son.
Holden didn’t need to be told twice before leaving his uncle Ross behind and nearly leaping in his papa’s arms. “Dance slow like how you and daddy dance,” he said, grabbing his father’s hands and very slowly moving them to the music.
“Go get yourself a bridesmaid there mate. Maybe you can get lucky tonight,” Robert said, winking at the raven haired man.
“Already had one picked out,” Ross said, clapping the younger lad on the back before heading off towards the blonde bridesmaid across the room.
Robert rolled his eyes before focusing back on Holden, smiling softly at him as they danced. But then his gaze flickered to Aaron, the older lad biting his lip and grinning up at whoever it was he dancing with.
“Buddy do you know who that is with daddy?”
Holden scDianed around the room until his eyes fell on his father, nodding as he saw who his daddy was dancing with. “That Sean, he used to come over all the time.”
Robert looked down at his son confused, not once ever hearing Aaron mention Sean before. But when he saw the older lad trying to keep back a laugh and a small blush rose on his cheeks Robert couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist into knots. He wasn’t going to go over there and make a scene though, Robert was sure if he asked Aaron would tell him exactly who Sean was and how he knew him. For now he was focusing on his son, gently swaying them to the music and twirling him around the princess he sometimes is.
But even with Holden dancing with him and looking as cute as ever Robert couldn’t peel his eyes away from Aaron and Sean. He hated how his boyfriend was looking at Sean, how he was laughing and smiling at him. It wasn’t until the song was over did he see the two break apart but still stayed a bit too close for Robert’s liking.
“Papa I gonna go find uncle Pete and Aunt Sophia!” Holden said, already skipping off towards the two to dance with them.
Robert nodded at him, already heading over to Aaron and Sean, trying his hardest not to scowl as he saw the two grinning like mad at each other. “Aaron,” he said with raised eyebrows, looking between them. “Can we uh, can we talk?”
“Yeah, of course,” Aaron smiled at him.
“I’ll catch up with you later Aaron,” Sean said, rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “Mr.Sugden, I love your music. It’s so great to meet you, I’m Sean.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Robert said, offering him a polite smile before looking back to Aaron and nodding towards the door so they could talk in the hallway.
Aaron followed after Robert, knowing what the younger lad was going to ask, and he could only hope that he wouldn’t be upset.
“So,” Robert drawled out as soon as they were in the hallway, away from everyone and the blaring music. “Who’s Sean?”
Aaron shifted his weight on his feet, biting his lip as he focused his gaze to the ground. “He’s uh, well he works with Pete at the hospital, they’re mates,” he said quietly.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the older lad, knowing there was more to the story and just waiting for Aaron to spill.
“We may have… We dated about 2 years ago,” Aaron barely whispered.
Robert just looked at him, letting out deep breaths and crossing his arms over his chest. “Was it serious?”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, not sure how serious “serious” was. “W-well I dunno, it was only for a few months before I ended it…”
“He met Holden though? And came to the house often?”
“Holden was only 2, but yes they met and yes he stayed over at the house a few times,” Aaron said quietly.
Robert let out a shaky breath as he ran his hand over his face. “Did you two have sex?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.
“No,” Aaron said almost immediately, seeing the younger lad getting mad. “Robert I swear we didn’t, I couldn’t, I… I was trying to get over you.”
“It must’ve been pretty serious though if you introduced him to our son… If he was staying the night and playing my part!” Robert said, trying his hardest not to raise his voice.
“Robert you have no right to get mad at me,” Aaron said quietly, wanting him to calm down. “Every night you went out drinking and God only knows who or how many people you’ve slept with over the years… I went out with one guy, and yeah we may have done a couple things but I was trying to move on with my life.”
“I already told you, I didn’t sleep with anyone,” Robert said sternly.
“Like you would remember,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows. “Blacking out every night, countless clubs, grinding up on whoever and whatever you could get your hands on. Sound familiar?”
Robert clenched his jaw, not wanting to get mad, not wanting to fight. “Aaron I didn’t sleep with anyone,” he said seriously. “I basically hired Clara to make sure every night I went home… Alone,” he said softly. “Even after everything I loved you, I couldn’t with anyone else.”
“And I loved you,” Aaron said, taking a step closer to the younger lad. “I still do, more than you know… This isn’t something to fight over R… You love me, I love you, we’re back together and happier than we’ve been in a long time. Let’s not ruin it over something as stupid as this.”
Robert bit his lip as he focused on his shoes, nodding slightly. “I’m sorry,” he barely whispered. “It’s because I love you that makes me… Overreact.”
“I know love,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “It’s okay,” he said, rubbing the younger lad’s back. “We should get back in there… I think it’s time I talk to a certain someone.”
“Only if you want to.”
“Want to, no. Have to, yes,” Aaron muttered, taking the younger lad’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “She is my mum after all…”
Robert bit his lip as he looked over at Aaron, it being clear that talking to his mum was the last thing he wanted to do. But he was going to be there for the older lad no matter what. Even if it meant smiling too much to seem polite or pull Aaron away if he started screaming at his mum, he was ready for anything.
“I didn’t see the girls here, so that’s two less battles to fight,” Aaron said as they made their way back into the reception room.
“It’s gonna be fine love,” Robert said softly. “We’ll find her, say hello, get Holden, dance for a bit and go home. Then we’ll have some you and I time,” he whispered into the older lad’s hair, making Aaron laugh quietly and nod.
“You know we don’t have any condoms at the house,” Aaron said under his breath.
“Those things get in the way,” Robert waved off, earning another laugh out of the older lad. “I love you, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah, love you too,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes before standing on his toes and kissing Robert’s cheek.
Robert smiled down at him, pulling the older lad closer to his side and rubbing his back, hoping that he could calm Aaron just the tiniest the closer they got to his mum.
Aaron bit his lip, mentally and physically preparing himself to talk to his mum, but he didn’t think anything could get him ready for what he was about to face. “Uhm R-hi mum,” he said quietly, getting the older woman’s attention.
“Aaron, hi,” she said, offering him a small smile as she got up from her seat. “It’s so nice to see you sweetheart, you look great.”
“Yeah well, 4 years is a while to not see someone, probably changed quite a bit,” Aaron muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Robert’s face fell, looking over to Aaron wide eyed before looking back to his mum and opening and closing his mouth. “Mrs.Dingle, hi, it’s uh, it’s good to see you again,” he said, offering her his hand.
“Robert,” Chas said, grinning back at the younger lad, completely disregarding what her son said. “It’s good to see you too. A bit surprised you’re here and with Aaron.”
Robert heard Aaron scoff, and he swears each second that passed the older lad was getting more and more upset. He’s only met Aaron’s mum once and that was nearly 6 years ago but she was just as cold as he remembers.
“Well Aaron and I got back together,” he said, wrapping his arm around the older lad and grinning down at him. “It’s been almost a year since we reconnected,” Robert said happily.
Chas hummed, glancing over at her son who refused to look back at her. “I’m sure the boy is happy to finally have a real father.”
And again Robert felt his jaw go slack, looking over to Aaron and seeing him trying his hardest to not start screaming.
“That “boy” has a name,” Aaron said through gritted teeth. “You know, your grandson…”
“Right,” Chas breathed out.
Aaron scoffed and rolled his eyes, his mum being her same self, not having a care about him, about Holden, he was tired of it, has been for years. “Well good talk, see you in another 4 or hopefully 10 or so years,” he muttered, already walking off before she could say anything.
Robert watched shocked as Aaron walked away, that not going the way he thought it would at all, but there was nothing he could do besides watch Aaron’s mum shake her head and rush after the older lad.
“Aaron! Aaron, hang on!” he said, jogging after him.
“Robert don’t,” Aaron said, tugging his arm out of the younger lad’s grasp and kept on walking to find Holden. “She’s never going to change and I can’t force her to.”
“Love listen to me for a second,” Robert said, finally getting Aaron to stop walking. “I’m not gonna force you to talk to her, hell she doesn’t deserve a second of your time,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around the older lad. “Just wanna make sure you’re okay… She said some pretty terrible things for a 2 minute conversation…”
“That’s just her, been like that since before I can remember,” Aaron rolled his eyes. “But I’m fine, I just want to make sure Holden doesn’t go anywhere near her.”
Robert looked at him for a moment, making sure he really was okay before nodding and kissing him gently. The two went off and found Holden though, putting all the bad things behind them and instead focused on dancing like fools with their son.
The music was Loud, Holden had too much energy he needed to burn and Robert and Aaron had no problem dancing circles around the 4 year old. For the rest of the night they were going to have a great time, and everything with Aaron’s mum and Sean were thrown in the back of their heads. And it stayed that way until the three of them were sweating like crazy and the last ones on the dancefloor.
Aaron had said his congratulations to Pete and Sophia, said bye to Ross and waved to Sean before he picked up his dozing off son and took Robert’s hand in his own. But luckily when they got home and Holden was in bed Aaron found that he still had just enough energy to drag his boyfriend to their bedroom and rid them of their clothes.
*~*
Germany
“See? A 2 hour plane ride wasn’t so bad,” Robert said, rubbing the older lad’s back.
“I’m gonna puke,” Aaron mumbled, feeling more nauseous than he has in the past two weeks .
Granted those two weeks were bad, but this was just awful. Stomach aches and pains were nothing compared to this and he blamed the plane ride. But Aaron knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to tour with Robert, he just didn’t think it’d be this bad.
“Wait are you really?” Robert asked worriedly, Aaron looking a little pale. “Babe, what’s wrong? What do you need? I can get you some medicine or maybe-”
“No, no, m’fine,” Aaron waved off. “Just lemme sleep for 10 hours,” he said, already snuggling into the hotel comforter and letting out deep breaths to get over his stomach doing flips.
Robert bit his lip as he looked at Aaron, growing a bit more nervous for him. It wasn’t like it was a long flight, just 2 hours, but the older lad was acting like they flew to LA.
“Love are you sure you’re okay? You know I have a show tonight, do you think you’ll be okay by then?” he asked softly. “I don’t want to leave you here if you don’t feel well.”
“R stop, really I’ll be okay. M’just taking a little nap the same time Holden is so I can regain my strength,” Aaron mumbled into his pillow. “We’ll be at the show tonight, no worries.”
“Sure,” Robert said quietly, offering him a small smile. “I’m gonna unpack ours and Holdens things while you nap then. If you need anything ask,” he said, kissing the blue eyed lad’s temple softly before getting up from the bed.
Aaron hummed, just barely able to comprehend what Robert said before forgetting about his stomach ache and slipping into a very deep sleep.
*~*
“Papa why do you wear makeup?” Holden asked, his face scrunching up in confusion as he watched some lady running a brush over his face.
“So when I get up on stage my eyes will sparkle and I’ll look pretty,” Robert said, making Adam, Ed and Aaron snicker from the other side of the dressing room.
“You don’t need makeup to look pretty,” Holden mumbled.
Robert looked over to his son, flashing him a soft smile before looking straight ahead again so the makeup artist could finish. “Thank you buddy.”
“Papa can I go on stage with you?” Holden asked, making his way over to his father and climbing in his lap. “I a real good singer, I swear.”
“Oh I know you are,” Robert said, kissing the 4 year old’s head and wrapping his arms around him. “And maybe I can have you up there for a little bit,” he said, it almost sounding like a question though as he glanced over to Aaron with raised eyebrows.
Aaron rolled his eyes, but nodded at the younger lad, knowing Holden loved the spotlight as much if not more than Robert did.
“Wait!” Adam said, seeming like he got a great idea. “Uhm well Aaron, Ed, Robert, the adults in the room,” he started off, clearing his throat. “Since we are in Germany would anyone be interested in uhm… Lighting up some grass with me?” Adam asked, trying to sound as inconspicuous as possible.
“No,” both Aaron and Robert said at the same time, but were out yelled by a very Loud “yes!!” from Ed.
“C’mon Ads, let’s do it before the show starts,” Ed said, already pushing himself off the couch and checking his pockets for a lighter.
Adam didn’t need to be told twice before bounding out of his seat and following after the ginger haired man.
It was quiet in the room for a second, the only noises coming from Holden playing with the makeup brushes and hairspray filling the room.
“You know you can,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip. “I mean… Not like now because of you know who. But later tonight when he’s asleep or something,” he said softly. “Don’t want to hold you back from what you normally do on tour.”
Robert bit the inside of his cheek as he glanced over at Aaron and shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay,” he said. “I mean I will if you want to later,” Robert offered. “I seem to remember we used to have some pretty good s-e-x when we were both a bit… Ya know.”
Aaron felt his cheeks heat up, the makeup artist smirking and Holden having no clue what his father said, but Aaron knew exactly what he was talking about. “Yeah well… I dunno. I still don’t feel that great.”
“Babe are you sure you’re okay?” Robert asked worriedly. “You’ve hardly eaten anything, you’re sweating like crazy and you’ve had a stomach ache for like two weeks now.”
“Robert I’m not eating because I’m not hungry, I’m sweating because it’s summer and a thousand degrees outside and my stomach ache will pass. I’m fine,” Aaron said almost sternly, not wanting him to worry.
“If you’re sure…” Robert breathed out.
Aaron hummed, yes he was sure, and yes he was okay, there was nothing to be scared about. And he could see the way Robert would glance at him, look at him with nothing but worry but Aaron knew he was fine.
He tried to assure the younger lad that he was okay all night, even when he was getting ready to go on stage and was kissing him and Holden. But with a final good luck from him and the 4 year old Robert nodded, taking his guitar and offering the two of them a small grin before he made his way on stage.
Aaron swears he forgot what it was like to watch Robert perform on stage in front of a huge audience like this. Thousands of people screaming, cheering, clapping and singing along, and they were all there for him.
Holden was screaming his head off, constantly begging his daddy to take his headphones off but each time Aaron said a firm “no”, not needing his son to go deaf. But when the time came Robert was just talking and walking around on stage he invited Holden to join him and the 4 year old didn’t even wait for his daddy to tell him it was okay before running to his papa on stage.
Robert felt his son’s little body crash into him, an immediate reaction coming from the crowd as they saw him. “Hey big guy,” he said through an airy laugh, already tired from playing, the stage lights bright and it being more than hot outside.
“Hello!!” Holden said excitedly into the microphone, waving to the crowd. “I’m Holden Edward Dingle! How are you?!” he yelled.
Aaron had to slap a hand over his mouth as he heard his son and the crowd going absolutely berserk. Even Robert was looking at the 4 year old wide eyed, but neither of them could help the Loud laughs that escaped them. Their son really was something…
“Okay papa what song we gonna play next?” Holden asked, wiggling out of his father’s arms and walking around stage.
Robert raised his eyebrows at Holden, the 4 year old taking his microphone so it’s not like he could answer. So he had to wave to a crew member for a new one, and once he got one he turned to his son, watching his every move just in case something happened on stage.
“Up next we have Let me love you,” Robert said, scooping his son up and bringing him over to the piano. “That was the first song I wrote for your daddy,” he said through a soft smile, earning “awws” from the crowd.
“Papa write songs and daddy fall in love with him,” Holden informed the audience.
Even though no one could see him Aaron felt his cheeks turn bright pink, and a snickering and high Adam and Ed didn’t help anything. But still, Aaron watched and listened to Robert play, his two boys on the big screen and Holden looking at his papa like he didn’t believe he was real. And Aaron couldn’t keep his eyes off them, almost having to stop a tear from slipping as he listened to Robert sing the song he wrote for him all those years ago and their son watching so intently, it was like the world stilled. Luckily Aaron got to watch moments like this for the next month, but he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to it.
*~*
Italy
“Aaron… Aaron, you alright?” Robert asked quietly, knocking gently on the door.
Aaron let out a few deep breaths, leaning back against the small airplane bathroom and wiping his mouth. “Yeah,” he said shakily.
Robert shook his head knowing for a fact that the older lad wasn’t okay. They were in Germany for a week and all week Aaron wasn’t feel well, and now on the plane he’s worse than ever. He wasn’t sure if they were even on the plane for an hour before Aaron rushed off to the bathroom, and Robert could hear him throwing up.
“Love what do you need? Can I get you water or anything?”
“No, no, I’m okay,” Aaron said, slowly pushing himself off the floor and reaching for the sink. “It’s just the plane ride, you know how I get,” he said, splashing water on his face and releasing a few more deep breaths.
“Aaron, open the door,” Robert said, this not being caused by the plane but he feared something worse.
Aaron tried to calm down, tried to get past the twisting feeling in his stomach but nothing seemed to work. He had to go out there though. He knew Robert was nervous beyond belief and he wasn’t helping anyone by locking himself in the bathroom.
“R I’m fine, I swear,” Aaron said quietly as he slowly opened the door. “It’s just the travelling, I’ll get over it as soon as we land.”
“Aaron stop,” Robert said, grabbing the older lad’s arm to keep him from moving. “This isn’t just travelling, you’ve been sick for weeks,” he said, trying to keep his voice low and not sound as worried as he was.
“From the travelling,” Aaron said, wanting him to calm down.
“This started a week before the travelling, you know when Holden had summer camp?” Robert said with raised eyebrows. “When we land we’re going to the doctor.”
“Robert, no,” Aaron said firmly. “I’m fine, please stop worrying,” he said, rubbing the younger lad’s arm. “You’ll see, as soon as we land I’ll be back to my old self.”
Robert just looked at Aaron for a moment, biting his lip and shaking his head, still not comfortable with Aaron not seeing a doctor. “If we land and you still don’t feel well we’re going. I don’t care if you want to or not, we’re going to the doctors.”
“Deal,” Aaron said, offering his boyfriend a soft smile, trying to convince him he really was fine.
“Good,” Robert said, pulling Aaron into his chest and kissing his hair. “Are you sure you don’t need anything?”
All Aaron did was roll his eyes and groan as he heard Robert before getting out of the younger lad’s arms and heading towards the couch to lay down. He swears, he’s fine, it’s just the travelling.
*~*
Aaron clutched the sides of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach and coughing to try to catch his breath. He sat back on the floor, against the tub as he caught his breath and brought his tie that was thrown over his shoulder back around his front.
Aaron just sat there for a minute, wiping the sweat off his forehead and trying to calm his racing heart. But he knew if he didn’t come out of the bathroom soon Robert would start to worry. They’ve been in Italy for almost three days now and so far he’s been able to hide getting sick from the younger lad, but Aaron wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.
“Aaron,” Robert said knocking on the door. “You almost ready? We have a reservation.”
“Yeah, yeah, just doing my hair, be out in a minute,” Aaron said, already getting off the floor to turn off the running water.
“Alright, well Adam already has Holden, so whenever you’re ready we can go.”
“Okay,” Aaron breathed out, grabbing mouthwash and making sure he was presentable.
He hoped things would go well during dinner, that he wouldn’t feel nauseous or have the urge to throw up. Or even the newest thing that’s been happening, sweating through his clothes and feeling like he was standing in the middle of the desert. Aaron knows it’s summer, but how hot and clammy and sweaty he constantly was was just terrible.
“Hey, there you are,” Robert said happily as he pushed himself off the bed. “You look great love,” he said, kissing the older lad’s cheek quickly.
“As do you,” Aaron said, smiling at him and reaching for his suit jacket. “Happy you have a free night so we can actually go out.”
“My single night without a show, let’s take a full advantage of it,” Robert said, winking at the older lad before patting his bum, taking his hand and leading him out of the room. “You’ve been having a good time right?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like being with me, on tour.”
Aaron scoffed. “Are you kidding me?” he asked as they walked down the hallway to the lift. “Babe being here with you… It’s been amazing to say the least.”
And it was true despite him being sick at least three times a day. He got to see amazing cities and monuments, try all these different foods and meet these amazing people from places he’s never seen. Not only that but Holden was having the time of his life. Every night joining Robert on stage for a bit and playing with Ed and Adam, the 4 year old couldn’t stop smiling, and Aaron couldn’t get enough of it. The days were full of fun adventures through the foreign cities and nights with concerts, it was the summer Aaron has been waiting and aching for. And even though he hasn’t been feeling all that great, the minor bad moments are easily shadowed by the good.
*~*
France
“Aaron,” Robert whispered, carefully running his fingers down the older lad’s bare back, trying to wake him up. “Love…”
Aaron grumbled to himself, tucking his head just a bit further into Robert’s neck and wrapping his arm just a bit tighter over his waist. “What?”
Robert bit his lip, his eyes locked on his boyfriend on his chest and a deep breath releasing from him as he realized what he was about to say. “Aaron move in with me.”
Aaron stilled for a second, his eyes slowly opening and picking up his head to look at the younger lad. “Why do you always say shit like this when I’m sleeping?”
“What other shit have I said while you’re sleeping?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh, seeing Aaron smiling back at him in the dark room.
“You asked me to be your boyfriend,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows.
“Whatever, I’m a late night thinker,” Robert rolled his eyes. “But will you? Move in with me I mean?”
Aaron bit his lip, trying his hardest to hold back his widening grin as he really thought about what Robert was asking. “And if I say yes?”
“And if you say yes then I’m gonna buy you a big ole house and fill it with a bunch of fancy things,” Robert laughed into the older lad’s hair before pulling him impossibly closer to his chest. “As soon as this tour is done we’re going to find a house and it’ll be a place Holden can grow up in… A place we can grow our family.”
At that Aaron picked his head up, his eyes locking on Robert and he couldn’t believe his idiot of a boyfriend was asking him to move in with him, to build their family with him at 4 am in France, the Eiffel tower right outside their window, lighting up the otherwise dark room. And nothing could ever be more perfect.
“Well if I get all that then I guess I’ll move in with you,” Aaron whispered teasingly, brushing his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “I mean we basically live together already…”
“But now I get to buy you a house and it’s official,” Robert said softly through his growing smile. “No more going back and forth between my flat and your house… We’ll have a place all our own.”
Aaron grinned back at him, cupping Robert’s cheek before pressing their lips together gently. “I love you, you idiot.”
“Love you too,” Robert hummed against him. “Okay, now you can go back to sleep.”
Aaron scoffed and rolled his eyes, immediately dropping himself back onto the younger lad’s chest and tucking his head into his neck. He couldn't believe he was moving in with his idiot of a boyfriend.
*~*
“Robert you know I hate surprises,” Aaron muttered as he glanced out the plane window. He knew they were somewhere in the United States, but where was the question.
“Well good thing it’s a surprise for Holden and not you,” Robert said, kissing the 4 year old all over his face and making him squirm and giggle in his lap.
“But whatever this is isn’t on your tour schedule, trust me, I basically memorized the thing,” Aaron said, feeling the plane stop under them and he got up to get their bags.
Robert scoffed as he rolled his eyes and got up to help the older lad. “That’s because I may have added a few dates that don’t exist so we could go on this little excursion.”
“Papa you better tell daddy where we are so he no freak out,” Holden mumbled as he put on his backpack Adam was passing him.
“R surprises are more fun when kept secret,” Robert said, sending a wink to the 4 year old.
“But you know how I get,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows. “I can’t handle not knowing, just give me something to work with!”
“Nope,” Robert said, popping the ‘p’ as he checked around the plane and made sure everyone had their things. “You’ll find out in about a half hour anyway, you’re fine.”
Aaron groaned as he followed the younger lad out of the jet, getting hit with immediate heat and bright sunshine. Maybe they weren’t in the United States after all. Maybe they were at some tropical island paradise and Robert was just surprising them with a few days of relaxation and break from the constant touring.
“Aaron, Aaron, c’mere, get Holden,” Robert said, stopping in his tracks as he saw the wall of paps on the blacktop.
Aaron muttered to himself as he saw the men with cameras, a real downside to the touring being the paps that track their every move and know where they are at all times. But luckily Holden was always in good hands and the 4 year old was used to the constant pictures. Thankfully Ed already had Holden, and if there was one thing Aaron learned about the ginger lad it was that he was more protective over Holden than anyone combined. He swears Ed is like the 4 year old’s personal bodyguard, but he wasn’t going to complain, not in the slightest.
“He’s fine love, Ed has him,” Aaron said, slipping his hand into the younger lad’s and ducking his head, trying to ignore the flashing lights.
Robert looked over his shoulder, letting out a relieved breath as he saw his son with Ed. He was happy security was already there and pushing them back but it was impossible to miss how annoyed Aaron got whenever the paps came around. Within minutes they were all in a car though, away from the hot sun and flashing camera lights.
“Do you guys know where we’re going?” Aaron asked, looking between Adam and Ed.
But all they did was was shrug and shake their heads innocently, and Aaron could see right through it. They knew exactly where they were going, but he knew he couldn’t break them.
“Alright fine, answer me this,” Aaron breathed out. “How long will we be here and are there any shows?”
“We’ll be here for a week and I have a tv show I have to do, but it’s also like an outdoor concert.”
“So…?” Aaron asked confused.
“So I’ll only be busy for one night, but every other night and day I’m yours,” Robert said, kissing the older lad’s temple quickly and pulling him into his side.
Aaron smiled at that, humming happily before looking out the window and just seeing palm trees upon palm trees pass them by. He was happy that for their last week together they were going to be in one place, that they could have privacy and spend the time they had left together focused on them.
“Even though I don’t know where we’re going, I want to say thank you,” Aaron whispered, smiling softly at the younger lad.
Robert grinned back, leaning in and kissing the older lad until Holden started groaning. But it was perfect timing because just as he released Aaron the car stopped from under them and he saw where they were. “We’re here,” he said, nodding out the window.
Aaron didn’t waste a second before twisting in his seat to see where they were, and as soon as he saw the sign his jaw dropped and eyes went wide. “Disney World!!!”
*~*
“Papa stop unpacking!! We need to go to Disney World!!” Holden said, tugging on his father’s arm.
“Buddy, buddy relax,” Robert laughed. “We have all week to explore Disney, let me just organize our stuff for a second.”
“But Robert,” Aaron whined, tugging at the younger lad’s other hand and having much more success than Holden in tugging him towards the door.
Robert let out a playful groan, but let himself get pulled by the two anyway, actually having no problem in putting off unpacking and instead spending the rest of the day on rides. He already texted Ed and Adam to meet them at Epcot anyway so at least they were going to get there a little earlier than he initially plDianed.
“You feeling well enough to go on rides?” Robert asked quietly as they walked after Holden.
“M’fine,” Aaron smiled at him. “I think I’m getting better at this whole travelling thing,” he said through an airy laugh.
Robert grinned back at him, tangling their fingers together and squeezing his hand gently.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked down at his shoes, knowing very well that he hasn’t gotten any better at travelling, maybe worse. Trying to hide how often he gets sick from Robert is getting harder and harder, he’s just lucky it’s summer and abnormally hot out so his overheating and sweating episodes don’t seem too out of place. Aaron thought that maybe it was the heat that was getting to him, that’s all.
“Babe could we uhm, can we stop and get some water?” Aaron asked quietly as they walked out of the lift and into the hotel lobby.
“Sure,” Robert shrugged before looking down at the older lad, seeing him go a bit pale. “Aaron you alright?”
“I said I’m fine, just need some water,” Aaron said, getting more than tired of that question. “We were just on a plane for 10 hours, I need a drink.”
“Alright, alright,” Robert said, Aaron having a bit of edge to his voice. “We’ll get you some water, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing his back to calm him down.
Robert made sure Aaron got his water before they made their way to the park, meeting up with his bodyguards and then catching up with Adam and Ed to go on rides.
Holden was skipping all over place, walking one way one second and then running in the other direction the next, even Robert’s bodyguards were all over the place, trying to keep an eye on him.
It’s not like any of them blamed the 4 year old though, he was excited and if possible Adam and Aaron were just as if not more excited. Just at being there Aaron felt like a kid again, there were so many things he wanted to do, so many characters he wanted to meet, even if he knew they were just people in costumes.
“Holden you need to hold someone’s hand,” Robert said seriously. “I don’t care if it’s mine, or daddy’s, or Ed’s or Adam’s or even Paul’s, but you have to stop running around.”
“Papa,” Holden groaned, slumping his shoulders and pouting at his father.
“R I’m not kidding,” Robert said, letting go of Aaron’s hand just so he could take the toddler’s. “There are a lot of people here and you know how people can get sometimes when they see us, and you running around won’t help.”
“Fine,” Holden huffed, knowing his papa gets worried when there are crowds around. “Can we go on a ride?”
“Of course buddy, there’s one right there, that look okay?”
“Yes!!” Holden shrieked, already running towards the ride with Paul and another bodyguard sprinting after him.
“Holden wait up! We can go in the same car!!” Adam said happily, following after the 4 year old.
Robert ran a hand over his face, if he had known Holden would be this much trouble he would’ve called for an army of bodyguards just for his son. “It’s gonna be a long week,” he said jokingly, glancing over at Aaron.
But as soon as he saw the older lad he felt his face drop, immediately growing worried as Aaron almost looked green and was clutching his stomach.
“Aaron! Aaron what’s wrong?”
“Stop, stop, I’m fine,” Aaron choked out as he shook his head and looked around quickly for a bathroom. “Y-you go on the ride… I’m- I’m gonna go to the bathroom, but I’m fine.”
And before Robert could say anything he rushed towards the closest bathroom, trying his hardest to keep what was twisting in his stomach down until he got to a toilet.
They’ve been in Disney World for all of an hour and already this happening, Aaron couldn’t stand it. Maybe he was worse at travelling than he thought, but then again the flight they were just on was longer than he was used to, Aaron was sure that’s what was causing this. It was awful though, his head buried in a toilet at Disney World while he could be going on rides and enjoying the sunshine, instead he’s stuck in an over decorated Mickey Mouse bathroom, how much worse could it get?
“Aaron!! Aaron where are you?!”
Right, that’s how it can get worse.
Aaron let out a deep breath, wiping his mouth and slowly getting up from the floor before opening the bathroom stall and seeing only Robert standing in the bathroom. “Hey, I’m uh, I’m fine, it’s okay.”
Robert looked at his boyfriend wide eyed, his mouth opening and closing, not understanding how Aaron could possibly think he was fine. “Aaron you’re not fine, you’re not okay!” he said, straining not to raise his voice. “You’ve been sick for a month and-”
“Robert it’s the travelling, I told you, warned you even I might get sick,” Aaron said, wanting him to calm down. “C’mon, let’s not fuss over it, let’s have a good time. We’re in Disney World after all.”
Robert didn’t know what to say as he watched Aaron walk out of the bathroom like absolutely nothing was wrong. He couldn’t help but think that the older lad was really sick and he was more than worried about him.
“Aaron, love wait,” Robert said, catching up with him and grabbing his hand to stop him. “I’m not comfortable going another day without you seeing a doctor.”
“I’m fine,” Aaron said firmly, pulling his hand out of Robert’s grip and walking towards the ride Holden was on with Adam and Ed. “I won’t go on any rides and I promise to tell you if I feel sick again, but I’m not going to a doctor, it’s a waste of time.”
Robert almost wanted to yell with how frustrated he was, but they were in the middle of Disney, people already crowding around them as they recognized him and Aaron also looked like he was a second away from screaming. So instead of saying anything or yelling he just nodded at the older lad, needing to trust him
“You better tell me if you’re not feeling well,” Robert muttered, following after Aaron to meet Adam, Holden and Ed at the ride exit.
Aaron hummed, offering the younger lad his most convincing smile. But now that he promised Robert he had to make sure to be extra careful around him. All he could do was hope that for the rest of the day, and for the rest of the time they were at Disney that Robert wouldn’t notice anything.
*~*
“Daddy come swimming!! Ed and Adam show me how to do flips!!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s hand.
“I will buddy, in a little bit, but I just ate and my tummy hurts a little.”
Holden groaned, his father saying that his tummy has been hurting because he just ate over and over again. But he didn’t want to make his daddy more sick so he just nodded and was about to ask his papa to come swimming but instead bothered not to, seeing as he was snoring in his chair. So instead he ran back towards the pool, making a big splash and making sure to get Adam extra wet
Aaron couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he watched his son splashing around. All summer it seemed that Holden was having the time of his life, constantly smiling and laughing, and it was everything Aaron hoped this summer would be for him.
Granted he wished he himself felt better, but he was having an amazing time nonetheless. He had about 5lbs of extra weight to prove how much of an amazing time he was having. Aaron swears all the food he’s been eating is making him fat, but he can’t stop, Robert just keeps spoiling him with amazing places to go to dinner, and huge breakfasts and even bigger lunches. He thought with how much they walked around daily whether it was a foreign city, or this huge amusement park that he wouldn’t be gaining weight this quickly.
“How you feeling love?” Robert asked groggily, reaching a hand over and rubbing the older lad’s stomach.
“M’good,” Aaron said, offering him a small smile. “Would be better if you stopped worrying about me.”
“Well I would stop worrying if you would see a doctor,” Robert muttered with raised eyebrows.
Aaron looked over at his boyfriend for a second, locking their eyes together before shaking his head and letting out a huff. “We only have a couple days left together before you go back on tour, you better start being nicer to me.”
“Aaron it’s not… I love you, alright? I want to make sure you’re really okay and not just saying that you are.”
“And I love you,” Aaron said, placing his hand on top of the younger lad’s that was resting on his stomach. “And that’s why you have to believe me when I say I’m okay… I wouldn’t lie to you if something was really wrong.”
Robert let out a quiet breath as he saw how serious Aaron was and nodded, knowing he was telling the truth. “You’ve been having fun though right? My popstar lifestyle hasn’t bored you too much?” he asked jokingly.
“God no,” Aaron laughed as he shook his head and squeezed Robert’s hand. “R this has been the most amazing summer both Holden and I have ever had… This past week alone has been incredible,” he said through a soft smile. “You guys have gone on every ride at least three times, I’ve met all the Disney characters my little heart can desire and Holden can’t wipe the smile off his face… It’s been perfect.”
Robert grinned back at the older lad, not even able to think of how happy he’s been with Aaron and Holden travelling with him. And the fact that they were having such a good time as well made him if possible that much happier. Bringing the two of them to all these countries and showing them his favorite places was more than anything he could dream of for this past summer.
And for their last couple days he made sure to keep it perfect. He and Holden rode if possible even more rides, watched firework shows and had breakfast with all the Disney characters. And when it came time for Robert to record his show for the tv program Holden was right at his side, performing with his papa like he has been at all the concerts. This was just like a concert after all, but it was just being recorded and put on tv for everyone to see. All Robert could think while he was on stage though was how now everyone can see how cute his little boy is. It was their last night together before Aaron, Holden and Adam went back to England, and Robert wanted to make it special, memorable for the two of them.
Robert knew Holden was having a great time prancing around on stage, singing and dancing like the little popstar he is. And when he glanced off to the side of the stage there was Aaron, smiling widely as he watched them, and Robert wished he could keep it like this. He wished the two could stay with him until the end of the tour, but that’s not how it works.
Aaron has to go back to teaching, and Holden is going into his first year of school, they need to go back home. And it was obvious that was the last thing any of them wanted, but it had to be done. They had to say goodbye.
*~*
“Aaron!! R!! How’re you guys?! How was the flight?!”
“Daddy got sick,” Holden muttered as he shuffled into his uncle Ross’s flat, a small smile coming to him as he saw Addi and Rob rushing towards him.
“Still?” Ross asked quietly with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah…” Aaron breathed out, it being well over a month and a half that he’s been getting sick and sweating through his clothes. “Did you uh, did you pick up that thing I asked you to?” he whispered.
Ross nodded quickly, stepping aside so the older lad could fully step into his flat. “You okay? You and Holden I mean, like with leaving Robert?”
“Goodbyes are always hard,” Aaron said as he bit his lip and glanced over at Holden playing with Addi on the floor. “But we’ll make it through, we always do,” he said, offering his best mate his most convincing smile.
Ross nodded as he let out a quiet breath and reached into the grocery bag for what Aaron was asking for. “But I’m guessing he has no clue you wanted this…”
Aaron shook his head and quickly took the small box from Ross. “I’ll tell him if there’s something to tell,” he muttered.
“Good,” Ross nodded. “If that thing is negative I’m taking you to a doctor though,” he said seriously.
Aaron breathed out an “okay”, knowing if it was negative then there must really be something wrong with him. But the thought of it being positive… Well that scared him a bit too.
“If you want you can take it right now,” Ross offered quietly. “I can watch R and be here for you…”
And again Aaron just let out a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart before nodding at his best mate. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”
He could see Ross smiling at him encouragingly and it took everything Aaron had in him to shuffle down the hall and to the bathroom. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, that for a second time since he and Robert started dating he had to take a test.
But for some reason this felt different than the last time. He wasn’t shaking he was so nervous, he wasn’t over thinking the “what if’s” or if Robert wanted this.
Aaron was relatively calm… He took the test with his heart beating in his ears and his hands clammy, but at least he took the test.
And even if he was staring at the thing wide eyed as he waited for the results, his knees pulled into his chest and back pressed up against the tub, he was calm. Or at least it was Aaron’s version of calm.
3 minutes may have felt like 3 days, but when the time was up Aaron found he actually had the courage to look at the little plastic stick, the results clear as day. And just at the sight he had to put a hand over his mouth, his air coming short and heart stopping… He had to call Robert.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Just A Little Bit Of Your HeartAriana Grande3:57
Don’t Let Me GoRobert Sugden3:50
The OneKodaline4:01
All I WantKodaline4:57
The OneSam Smith3:08
Make It To MeSam Smith3:09
Lay Me DownSam Smith4:01
I Was Made for Loving YouTory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran3:07
FaithfullyBoyce Avenue Cover4:49
Auld Lang SyneLea Michele3:29
This is the New YearA Great Big World3:17
Hold On ForeverRob Thomas3:35
One Call AwayCharlie Puth3:28
LostMichael Buble3:39
HomeMichael Buble4:04
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
I know there's a lot going on this chapter, but I hope you all find it enjoyable :) Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !!
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Daddy are we here to see uncle Pete?” Holden asked, looking around the hospital and kicking his legs back and forth, trying to entertain himself.
“We are,” Aaron said, smiling down at the 4 year old and running his fingers through the back of his hair. “Uncle Pete is just gonna give me a little test and then we can head back home and go for our walk.”
Holden hummed happily, but as soon as he saw his uncle coming down the hall he jumped right of his chair and ran towards him.
“Hey buddy,” Pete said, scooping Holden up and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Aaron you can come back now,” he said, offering the older lad a soft grin.
Aaron let out a deep breath as he nodded and pushed himself out of his chair, following Pete through the hospital halls as Holden talked the younger lad’s ear off. Being here Aaron was excited to stay the least, he was going to find out if he and Robert were going to have a baby for God’s sake. There was no denying he was nervous, but excited nonetheless.
“How’ve you been feeling mate?” Pete asked quietly as he bit his lip.
Aaron let out a small laugh as he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I thought it was the travelling… I seriously thought it was because of all of the plane rides and time differences and… And I told him not to worry.”
Pete looked over at the older lad confused as he opened an exam room for him and placed Holden down. “You didn’t think there was anything to be worried about, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay,” Aaron said quietly as he took a seat on the exam table.
“Well you wanted to keep him calm and have a good time on your trip,” Pete said, not wanting the older lad to freak out over this. “When you tell him the news I’m sure he’ll understand, and be more than happy and relieved something isn’t really wrong.”
Aaron bit his lip and nodded as he looked to his hands folded in his lap. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell him,” he said, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “I mean he’s somewhere in South America right now, I can’t just call him, can I? Should we videochat or should I do something really special for him? Like a surprise? Or maybe I could-”
“Daddy are you sick?”
“He’s not sick big guy, we’re just gonna do a quick test to clear up a few questions,” Pete said, getting everything he needed together.
Holden looked over to his father to make sure his uncle was telling the truth, and when his daddy smiled at him he knew he really was okay. “Well be careful uncle Pete, daddy don’t like needles.”
“I’ll be fine R,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes fondly as Pete situated himself in front of him and reached for his arm. “How long will this whole draining important fluid out of my body take?”
“Just a minute or two, relax,” Pete said through a chuckle as he made sure everything was situated before patting the older lad’s leg. “You excited?” he asked, offering his best mate a small smile.
Aaron tried to hold back his smile as he shrugged slightly and felt his cheeks heating up. “Is it wrong of me to yes?” he asked sheepishly. “I mean this is crazy right…?”
“If you’re happy then it’s a good kinda crazy,” Pete said, sending a wink towards Aaron. “Make sure you get enough bedrooms when looking for your new house,” he muttered teasingly.
“Uncle Pete are you gonna move with us?!” Holden asked excitedly.
“No buddy,” Pete laughed. “But you might have a different little house guest,” he said under his breath.
“Pete,” Aaron warned, not wanting to tell Holden anything until he knew for sure.
Pete put his hands up in defeat, holding back his laughter as he got the blood sample from Aaron and put a bandaid on him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with some news,” he said, giving his best mate’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading out of the room.
Aaron let out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to get a hold of reality, that he and Robert could really be having a baby.
“Are you sure you not sick daddy?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Well maybe you not sick, you too happy to be sick.”
“I’m not sick,” Aaron confirmed, offering his son a soft smile. “Good things are happening, it’s okay.”
“Only if you sure,” Holden breathed out, walking over towards his father and climbing on the table to sit with him.
Aaron hummed, pulling the 4 year old into his side and kissing head to reassure him. He had to wrap his head around what was happening. That in just a few minutes Pete was going to come back with life changing news, that him and Robert could be having a baby, that Holden was going to be an older sibling. It was great and exciting, and the only thing Aaron was worried about was how to tell Robert.
He wasn’t able to last time, but now he could. Aaron had to figure how to tell him since he wasn’t actually home and couldn’t in person, and he wasn’t going to wait until he was home to tell him, that would be nearly 3 months from now. There was no denying that it was hard to hear that Robert couldn’t home, not even for a week while he was touring through South America and the US but they did 3 months apart before, they can do it again. But Aaron had to make this special for Robert, he wasn’t there last time, he couldn’t experience this and more than anything Aaron wanted him to this time around.
“Alright Aaron, you ready?” Pete asked, coming back into the room with a manilla envelope in his hand.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Aaron breathed out through a smile, pulling Holden just a bit closer to him.
Pete nodded, grinning back at the older lad before passing him the envelope, already having read it in the hall. He watched as Aaron opened it, pulling the papers out and immediately lighting up at reading the words at the top.
“Congratulations mate,” Pete said softly, rubbing his best mate’s back and feeling his own smile grow just at seeing Aaron so happy.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold back his widening grin at the bold printed words at the top of the page. He didn’t know what to say, even though Aaron knew there was a very high chance that he was expecting it was unbelievable to actually have it confirmed.
“Mate,” Aaron whispered, tugging on the younger lad’s lab coat. “Do I tell Holden now? Do I wait to tell him and Robert at the same time? Do you think he’ll understand? I mean, what do I even say to him? He’s 4 after all, maybe-”
“Aaron,” Pete laughed, shaking his head and backing away from him. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. But ask yourself, if Robert were home would you tell them together?”
Aaron glanced down at his son, knowing for a fact he would tell them together. And he decided that’s what he was going to do. Now it was just a matter of how he was going to break the news.
*~*
Aaron let out a deep breath as he situated his laptop so the camera was looking right at him. He fixed his hair and made sure he looked his absolute best before making sure everything was in it’s place and ready to go.
“Holden! C’mon buddy, it’s time to call pop!” Aaron yelled, hearing his son and Addi barreling down the stairs a second later.
“Daddy how come this call so special?” Holden asked, noticing how his father was acting more odd than normal.
“Every call with papa is special,” Aaron said through a soft smile, making sure they were both seen on the screen. “Alright, we ready?”
Holden looked at his daddy with furrowed eyebrows, it almost seeming like he was asking himself that, but he nodded at his father anyway.
Robert knew they would be calling now so Aaron figured as soon as he started calling the younger lad would pick up. And when he pressed the call button Aaron couldn’t help but try to fix his hair again, really feeling his nerves kick in.
“Look at my boys,” Robert said, smiling at the two. “How are you two? How’s the first couple days been?”
“Eventful,” Aaron said, trying his hardest not to just scream the news. “How about you? How’s Sao Paulo?”
“Beautiful, really Aaron, you would love it,” Robert said softly, glancing out his hotel window. “I’ll bring you guys here sometime, maybe in the winter so that way when it’s freezing in England we can be on the beach,” he said happily.
Aaron grinned back at him and nodded, thinking that by the time winter comes around he’ll already be a pretty decent size, he doesn’t think he’d look all that good in a swimsuit.
“I want to go back to the beach,” Holden mumbled, already missing the sand between his toes and jumping in the waves with his papa.
“And we will buddy, promise.”
Holden nodded at his papa, offering him a small smile as he leaned back against his daddy’s chest.
“So what was so eventful about this week?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, noticing Aaron couldn’t wipe the wide grin off his face. “Babe you alright? You seem… Different,” he said slowly.
“What? No, no, I’m not, I’m fine,” Aaron said quickly, trying desperately to calm down.
“Yes you are,” Robert chuckled, now finding this more entertaining. “What’s goin on love?
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, thinking that they would have more of a conversation before he came out with his news. But it was clear to anyone with eyes that he couldn’t contain what was inside him.
“I… I have to tell you something,” Aaron said so quietly he wasn’t sure if Robert heard him.
Robert’s face almost immediately fell as he saw how serious Aaron was, how nervous he looked. “Aaron what’s wrong?”
Aaron could see the terrified look on the younger lad’s face, wanting him to calm down, this being a good thing, but his nerves were really starting to kick in. “No, nothing’s wrong, it’s okay,” he said through a soft smile. “I went to the doctors yesterday cause you know I kept getting sick… And, well, I was given some uhm… Some pretty great news.”
“Great news… About you getting sick?” Robert asked slowly. “Aaron that’s not like… A thing.”
“It is, I can promise you that it is,” Aaron said, his smile only growing as he realized how close he was to telling him.
Robert raised his eyebrows, his mouth opening and closing, having no clue what the older lad could be talking about. “You sure you’re okay?”
Aaron nodded as he bit his lip, trying his absolute hardest to calm down and actually get on with his news. “I’m better than okay,” he said quietly, letting out a deep breath and preparing himself for what he was about to tell his boyfriend. “You have your phone with you right?”
“Uhm, yeah, it’s right next to me. Why?” Robert asked confused.
“Because I’m about to send you something, and it’s… Well it’s important.”
“Sure,” Robert said softly as he nodded at the older lad, growing more nervous that something could really be wrong.
Aaron let out a deep breath, gathering his courage to pull out his phone and actually send the picture to Robert. Not only that but he had to text Ed and Clara to be ready, and the fact that all of this was happening was crazy to him, that he was really telling the younger lad they were going to have a baby.
But he pressed send anyway and right after he pushed the button he picked his head up, watching Robert for a reaction or just anything. And each second that passed Aaron grew more and more nervous, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest as he watched the younger lad pick up his phone and open the message.
“Is this gonna be like test results or something the doctor gave-...” Robert stopped himself, his entire body going still and jaw going slack at the picture he saw on his phone.
It wasn’t test results or a notice the doctor gave Aaron. Instead it was a picture of Holden. The 4 year old in his little spiderman costume, hands on his hips and wearing a smile so wide it could be seen from miles around. But it was beside Holden that caught Robert’s eye.
There was a chalkboard with brightly written words on it, and at the sight of what it said Robert felt his throat close and eyes water. Every Superhero Needs a Sidekick it read and Robert could only have so many guesses as to what that meant, as to what Aaron was trying to tell him.
“Love,” Aaron said softly, a wide smile coming over him just at Robert’s face, and when the younger lad picked his head up to look at him he could only grin more.
But he had one more thing to show Robert, something that would actually confirm the green eyed lad’s suspicion. Aaron was grateful everything was actually falling into place, that a second later he saw the two come into the room and he nodded at them, silently telling Robert to turn around.
And it was almost impossible for Aaron to stop his laughter as he saw Robert go wide eyed at seeing Clara and Ed in his room, the two smiling widely at him and passing him a small wrapped box.
Robert looked at Clara before focusing on the box she was passing him, taking it slowly with shaking hands, growing more and more nervous at what could be inside. And when he turned back to the camera Aaron was just watching him, Holden looking beyond confused and Robert’s heart was racing so fast he could barely breathe.
“Babe you need to actually open it,” Aaron laughed quietly, the younger lad just staring at the box, looking almost too scared to open it.
Robert opened and closed his mouth, his hands still shaking and heart still pounding but he nodded anyway as he carefully pulled off the top of the box. And Robert couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but drop the top of the box and let a few tears slip as a wide smile came over him.
He wasn’t sure if he would even be able to pick up the tiny onesie that was in the box, if his hands would stop trembling enough where he could read what was on the little clothing. But he could read it, even through his glassy eyes he could see the playfully written Daddy is due with baby #2 on it.
“Aaron…” he said through a hiccuped breath, looking at the computer and only smiling more as he watching the older lad wipe away his own stray tears.
But then Robert’s eye caught Holden, the 4 year old having no clue as to why both his dads were crying and acting so weird. “Holden do you- do you know what this means?” he asked, clutching the little onesie in his hands, his heart still pounding but not out of nervousness, instead out of excitement and pure adrenaline. “We… A baby, we’re- we’re having a baby,” Robert barely managed out, shaking his head and pulling the onesie into his chest as his tears began falling faster and faster.
Aaron let out a wet laugh as he saw the younger lad still trying to grasp the news and when Holden looked at him wide eyed all he could do was nod and wipe away his fallen tears. “Yeah love, we’re having a baby,” he said softly.
Robert shook his head in disbelief, his choked laugh escaping as it really hit him. Him and Aaron are going to have a baby and he’s going to be here for their little one from the very beginning. And Holden is going to have a sibling, and all of this is too good to be true, Robert couldn’t believe it. The only thing that reminded him that it was real, that a baby was really coming was the onesie he had in his hands.
“A baby?” Holden asked quietly. “Like a little person?! A baby?!” he nearly screamed, twisting around in his father’s lap and looking at him wide eyed.
Aaron nodded, chuckling as he saw his son freaking out, and when he heard Holden squeal again he knew he was really excited. If anything Aaron was surprised how quickly the 4 year old gathered everything, that he actually understood.
“Well when it gonna come?! Where is it?!” Holden asked, looking all around the room and making Loud laughs escape his daddies.
“Yeah Aaron? When’re ya due?” Ed asked through a wide smile, crouching down so he could fully be seen by the camera.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked sheepishly back at the three of them. “I actually don’t know,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “I have an appointment next week, right after I drop R off at school,” Aaron said, looking down at the 4 year old, still in denial that he was starting school.
Robert looked between the two of them, rubbing a hand over his face and letting out a deep breath, hating that he couldn’t be there for Aaron and Holden. But he was still so happy, just at the thought of having a little baby around he was smiling so wide he must’ve looked like a crazy person.
“I’m… My God I’m so happy,” Robert breathed out. “Holy shit, is it possible to be this happy? A baby, a little baby…”
“A little baby,” Aaron nodded, smiling back at the younger lad.
Robert bit his lip, knowing that if he said anything else he would just scream that they were having a baby at the top of his lungs. He wanted to tell everyone, to run around the streets and yell that he and Aaron were really having a baby. Of course Robert knew he couldn’t, not yet. But when the time came to tell everyone Robert was sure he would just scream and jump around.
“Where is it?” Holden groaned, wanting the baby here now.
“Buddy we won’t get the baby for a couple months, we have to be patient,” Aaron said, muffling a laugh into his son’s hair.
“Well it a boy or girl? And now I a big brother like Nate at daycare and I bring baby to school with me,” Holden said, nodding to himself.
“Uhm that’s not how that works Holden,” Ed chuckled, earning a scowl from the 4 year old.
“And we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, we’ll have to wait for that too,” Aaron said, glancing to Robert and saw he was still internally freaking out about the news.
Already Aaron couldn’t wait to pick out names, to plan the nursery and go shopping, and he especially couldn’t wait to do those things with Robert. Just thinking about the younger lad being here for all of these little moments Aaron couldn’t contain himself, and at the sight of Robert he seemed to be having just as hard of a time.
“Congrats guys, I’m really happy for you,” Clara said, coming onto the screen and smiling brightly between the two beaming men. “But Robert I’m sorry, I really am, we have to get going,” she whispered to the younger lad.
Robert let out a small breath and nodded at her before turning back to Aaron and Holden and offering them a small grin.
“It’s okay love, I know you’re busy,” Aaron said, smiling back at him. “I’m happy I could at least catch you for a few minutes to tell you.”
“And don’t think we’re done talking about this,” Robert said, noticing Clara already gathering all of his things. “I have my phone on me and I’ll text you after the interview and call you before the show.”
Aaron nodded at him and before he could say anything else Holden started screaming his goodbyes. So he waved to the younger lad, earning a soft “goodbye” and mouthed “I love you” before Aaron watched Robert pick up the onesie, it seeming like he wasn’t letting it go anytime soon and seeing the screen go black.
*~*
“Daddy,” Holden groaned, his father squeezing his hand so tightly he was sure it was going to fall off.
“What?” Aaron asked, looking down to the 4 year old before looking all around the school halls, trying to make sure they were going the right way.
“You’re freaking out,” Holden muttered, trying to free his hand but his daddy only held on tighter.
“I am not,” Aaron said in a matter of fact tone. “I am perfectly fine and calm, everything’s okay, alright? I am not freaking out, and you’re going to have a great day at school and-”
“Daddy,” Holden said stopping him, squeezing his father’s hand gently and smiling up at him. “It’s okay. It’s kinda like daycare.”
Aaron looked down at his son, having no clue why he wasn’t nervous or freaking out about his first day at school. But if the 4 year old can be calm so could he. “You’re right buddy… It’s just like daycare,” Aaron said softly, grinning back down at his son and loosening his grip on Holden’s hand just a bit.
He had to remind himself of that, that it was just like any other day, like he was just dropping his son off at daycare. And Aaron had to forget how big and old Holden was getting, that he was growing up. He thought maybe that was his problem with sending Holden off to school, the reminder that his baby boy wasn’t really a baby anymore.
“Alright, we ready?” he asked, stopping in front of Holden’s classroom door.
“Ready,” Holden said happily, already stepping into the room and tugging his daddy along with him.
Aaron let out a deep breath as they walked into the room, other nervous looking parents and excited kids filled the room, and he was at least grateful he wasn’t the only one. “Okay, you’re lunch is in your bag and I made sure you have enough pencils and even put a picture of you, Rob, Addi, me and papa in your notebook in case you miss us,” he said through a quiet laugh, kneeling down to his son’s height and making sure his uniform was straight.
“Thank you daddy,” Holden said softly, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck and pulling him close.
Aaron felt a small smile come to him as he hugged Holden back and kissed his head. He knew if he didn’t let go now he never would, so he gave his son one more squeeze and kiss before standing up and letting out a deep breath.
“Alright big guy, have a great day, I’ll pick you up after school and later tonight we can call papa and talk all about your day.”
“Okay,” Holden said, smiling back at his daddy. “I love you, have a good day.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly before pulling out his phone, taking just one more picture of Holden before kissing him one last time. “Love you too. Be nice, make friends, color me a picture.”
Holden nodded at his daddy and backed away from him, waving to him and sending him one more wide smile before heading off towards the cubbies to put his backpack down.
Aaron watched the 4 year old get comfortable in the room, already looking situated as he took a seat at a little table and started socializing with the other kids. He couldn’t stand there for too long though, he had to get to his doctor’s appointment and he didn’t want to embarrass his son too much by being that overprotective dad that cares too much. So Aaron waved and smiled at Holden before finally making his way out of the room and pulling out his phone to text Robert all of the pictures he took of Holden this morning. But he couldn’t even make it all the way down the hall before hearing someone scream his name.
“Aaron!!!”
He snapped his head up, his eyes going wide and jaw dropping as he saw a very sweaty and breathless curly haired man sprinting towards him. “... Robert?”
Robert didn’t stop running until he crashed into Aaron, immediately wrapping his arms around him and kissing him all over his face. “Look at you! My God, you look so good,” he said, crashing his lips onto the older lad’s, so relieved to finally be able to hold him, to be with him after he found out about the baby.
“Robert what are you doing here?! I thought you-”
“I had to be here,” Robert said like that was a stupid question. “Holden’s first day of school and you have the doctors appointment, there’s no way I could miss any of this.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, letting out a quiet laugh before he shook his head, stood on his toes and pressed his lips to the younger lad’s. “I love you, you know that?”
Robert hummed against him, pecking Aaron’s lips a few more times before releasing him and just looking at the older lad. “We’re having a baby,” he said just Loud enough for Aaron to hear him, resting his forehead against the blue eyed lad’s.
“Yeah we are,” Aaron said, still not believing they were having a baby, that Robert actually flew home just for Holden’s first day and his doctor’s appointment. “But before we talk about the baby why don’t you pop in and say hi to our firstborn,” he said jokingly.
Robert’s eyes lit up, immediately smiling and turning right around to head to Holden’s classroom. He didn’t know if they started class yet but he raced from the airport, sprinted from the parking lot and nearly tripped 10 times just so he could see his son off at his first day of school. And when Robert walked into the room he was grateful to see that they hadn’t started but were just getting into their seats.
“Excuse me, I’m sorry,” Robert said sheepishly, fully walking into the room. “I’m looking for Holden Dingle. Hair and eyes like mine, very handsome, extremely funny and is a pretty good singer,” he said, his eyes immediately catching the 4 year old’s and smiling widely at him.
“Papa?” Holden asked quietly, a grin immediately making it’s way to his face as he got up from his seat and rushed towards his father. “What you doing home?!”
“Well I had to see my big guy off at school, now didn’t I?” Robert chuckled, scooping the 4 year old up and kissing him all over his face. “Look at you in your little uniform. Too cute.”
“Stop,” Holden groaned, knowing his class was watching him. “How long you gonna be home for?”
Robert let out a quiet breath, the fact that he was here at all was a miracle. “I’m leaving right after daddy has his doctor’s appointment,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I can’t be here longer.”
“It’s okay, I know you busy,” Holden breathed out. “Thank you for coming home for a little bit,” he said, giving his papa another hug.
“Of course buddy,” Robert whispered, nuzzling his nose into his son’s hair. “I hope you have an amazing day and I can’t wait to hear all about it. I’ll be sure to call as soon as my plane lands okay?”
“Okay,” Holden said, smiling back at his papa. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” Robert said, kissing Holden’s head and giving him one more squeeze. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Holden nodded and smiled even wider at his father before giving him one more kiss and wiggling out of his arms. But he couldn’t get too far without his daddy stopping him, needing to take a picture of him and his papa before finally telling him he could go back to his seat and letting the class continue. And even if his teacher started talking Holden watched as his daddies walked out of the room, smiling at them and waving slightly before mouthing “bye” one last time.
“So, baby time?” Robert asked once they were in the hallway, sliding his hand into Aaron’s and tangling their fingers together.
“Baby time,” Aaron confirmed through a quiet laugh. “I’m still in shock you’re here… I mean, you didn’t have to come, you-”
“Of course I had to come,” Robert said, looking at the older lad wide eyed. “Aaron this is important, no this is more than important to me. We’re having a baby and I’m gonna be here for you and our little one as much as possible. Even while I’m away I’m gonna try to be here.”
Aaron looked right back at Robert, having no clue how he got so lucky. His boyfriend flew in from the other side of the world just for a doctor’s appointment and to drop their son off at school. He couldn’t say how grateful he was to Robert, or tell him how much he loved him because words couldn’t describe how he was feeling. Aaron wasn’t in this alone, and he never thought he was, but Robert made damn sure that he knew he wasn’t.
“I’ll follow you there alright?” Robert asked once they reached the parking lot, giving the older lad’s hand a gentle squeeze.
Aaron nodded, smiling back at Robert, standing on his toes and kissing him quickly before heading off towards his car. It was only 8 in the morning and already it’s been a great day. His boyfriend was back home, granted it was just for a few hours, but it was a few hours Aaron was more than grateful for. And he made sure to tell Robert at least a thousand times when they got to the doctor’s office and were in the waiting room. Aaron was sure the younger lad was almost sick of hearing it but he didn’t care, he needed Robert to know just how much he appreciated him, loved him.
“Aaron Dingle?”
Aaron and Robert picked their heads up, the younger lad nearly shaking with how nervous he was. Aaron on the other hand was all smiles as he bounded up from his seat and had a skip in his step as he walked towards the doctor.
“Babe this is Dr. Arnold, she delivered Holden,” Aaron said introduced the two happily.
“Oh, wow, hi,” Robert said, grinning at her and shaking her hand politely. “It’s really great to meet you.”
“And you Mr. Sugden, I’m a big fan of your music. And please, call me Heather,” she said, eyeing Aaron, telling him to stop with all that doctor stuff a thousand times. “Not gonna lie when Pete called me and told me the news I was a bit surprised. Happy, but surprised,” Heather said, leading the two into an examining room.
“Li and Heather went to med school together, and she’s friends with him and Soph,” Aaron informed Robert, earning a nod from him. “And why surprised? Are you afraid another one of my spawn will be roaming the earth?” he joked.
“Oh stop that,” Heather laughed, watching Aaron immediately head for examining table and getting a chair for Robert to sit in. “And I was a little surprised cause I know your guys’ whole story,” she said quietly, glancing between the two, Pete having told her everything. “I’m really happy you could make it work out.”
Robert looked over at Aaron, offering him a small smile as he reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. And the way the older lad was grinning back at him Robert knew he was thinking the same thing.
“So uhm, how does- how does this work?” Robert asked, just a bit confused as he watched Heather setting everything up.
“Well today we’re just going to check on the baby and Aaron, see how far along he is and we can make an estimate as to when he’ll be due,” Heather said, smiling at the curly haired lad. “If we’re lucky we’ll even be able to find your little one and you can go home with a picture.”
At that Robert lit up, the idea of having a picture of their little baby nearly making his heart burst out of his chest.
“Love, easy,” Aaron chuckled, feeling Robert squeeze his hand tightly.
“Sorry, m’nervous,” Robert said sheepishly, loosening his grip. “So when do we know if it’s a boy or girl? And how big is the baby? Like the size of a pea or maybe a lima bean? And when will he start getting hormonal? I mean I would really like to be home for when his hormones start raging and he’ll need me for certain things, and my tour doesn’t end for another-”
“Robert, R,” Aaron said, stopping the younger lad as he started freaking out about his own questions. “It’s okay,” he reassured him.
Heather laughed quietly at the curly haired lad before motioning for Aaron to lift his shirt up. “Around 4 months we can find out the sex and right now I’d say you’re baby is a bit bigger than a pea.”
Robert smiled down at Aaron, it being crazy to him that the little person they were bringing into the world was the size of a pea. The fact at all that Aaron was carrying their child and his belly was getting just a bit bigger was amazing to him.
And Aaron looked right back at his boyfriend, unable to hold back his own wide grin at seeing how excited Robert was for all of this. He was nearly bouncing in his seat, asking all these cute questions, and looking like a lost puppy as he watched Heather work on the ultrasound.
“I see it! I see it, right there!!” Robert said, pushing himself out of his seat, leaning over Aaron and tapping the ultrasound screen.
Aaron let out a Loud laugh, pulling on Robert’s arm so he would sit back down. But even when the younger lad was settled in his seat again his smile didn’t fade.
“That’s it right?! That’s the baby, right there!” Robert said, pointing to the small black blob on the screen.
“Very nice Robert, it is,” Heather chuckled, the green eyed lad’s excitement buzzing through the room. “And by the looks of it I would say Aaron is just about 2 and a half months along.”
Robert nearly squealed at hearing that, bouncing up and down in his seat and kissing the older lad all over his face. “So what does this mean? Does the baby have like any tiny toes or little ears?” he asked excitedly.
Aaron laughed into his hand, throwing his head back and trying to get over how adorable his boyfriend was acting.
“The baby is developing toes and fingers now, and other very small features,” Heather said, smiling over at Robert and printing a picture of the baby for them. “I’ll want to see you next month so we can check on the progress, alright?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at Aaron.
“Of course,” Aaron said, taking the tissues Heather was passing him to wipe his stomach before Robert took them, wiping off the jelly for him. “Thank you love,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Robert hummed through his smile, making sure Aaron’s tiny baby bump was clean before pulling his shirt down and pecking his lips. All he wanted to do was tell the older lad how gorgeous he looked like this, how happy he was to be with him, to be here at the appointment and seeing their baby for the first time.
Robert made sure to get a second sonogram of the baby, wanting his own copy to take on the road with him. And he hated how fast time was going by, that the appointment was already over and that meant he had to hop on his jet and get back to touring. But at least he could be here for this, that he could come home for his son’s first day of school and Aaron’s appointment.
“What’re you doin for the rest of the day love?” he asked, walking the older lad to his car and leaning against it.
“I have class at noon so before that I was gonna go to the store and pick up bigger pants. Mine are already getting a bit tight,” Aaron chuckled, wrapping his arms around Robert’s waist.
“Really?” Robert asked, a spark in his eye as he placed a hand on the older lad’s stomach, noticing the tiniest bump. “If you uh, if you want I can push back my flight a little… Go shopping with you and maybe get an early lunch before you have to go to class?” he asked, biting his lip and looking at his boyfriend nervously.
“Are you asking me if I want to spend time with you?” Aaron asked, what Robert said sounding almost ridicuAarons. “Of course we can do that, I’d love to spend some extra time with you before you jet off.”
“Great,” Robert said, smiling widely at the older lad. “Hop in the space car love, we’re going out on the town.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly, Robert’s idea of going out on the town being buying pregnancy pants and getting brunch. But if it was more time he had to spend with his boyfriend Aaron wasn’t going to complain, not in the slightest.
*~*
“Robert do you understand that if you keep pacing the camera won’t follow you?” Aaron laughed into his hand, trying to keep his voice down.
“Aaron I can’t stop pacing! I’m nervous, what do you want from me?!” Robert groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “I haven’t even rehearsed yet and we’re recording in an hour and this song… This song is crazy why did I pick it? What’s wrong with me?”
“You like a challenge love, I think you’ll do great,” Aaron said happily. “I can listen to you rehearse if that makes you feel better. I mean, you have to run it at least once.”
Robert let out a deep breath and nodded, trying to relax before he remembered something and finally stood in front of the camera so Aaron could see him. “Where are you right now? I don’t even know what time it is in London.”
“I’m at work, it’s about 2pm,” Aaron said glancing at his watch, knowing it was 9am Robert’s time in Lima.
“Where at work? That’s not your classroom,” Robert said, narrowing his eyes and trying to figure out where in the school the older lad was.
“I moved us to the auditorium today, we’re learning about stage presence and how to use space,” Aaron said through a small smile, actually having hooked up his laptop to the huge projection screen so he could see the younger lad in ginormous form but also his voice was booming through the speakers so that was a plus. “But enough about me, you need to rehearse.”
Robert groaned but nodded anyway, walking closer to his laptop and pulling something up. “You have a piano in there right?” he asked, earning a nod from the older lad. “Alright, you play, I sing.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, a second later seeing sheet music pop onto his computer screen sent from Robert. He knew Robert was in his hotel room without a piano, otherwise he would play, but Aaron couldn’t say no, he wanted to help the younger lad. So he looked over the sheet music, nodding to himself as it wasn’t all that difficult before moving over to the piano, placing his laptop down and taking a seat on the bench.
“I’m surprised you picked this one love, it really-”
“I know,” Robert said, hating himself for committing to this. “I should’ve done Single Ladies, I can rock that shit.”
Aaron let out a snort as he rolled his eyes, earning a glare from the younger lad. “Alright, single lady,” he teased.
“I can!” Robert said wide eyed. “I can do the dance, sing the song, you name it!!”
Aaron raised his eyebrows, not believing Robert for a second and it was only a moment later the younger lad was both singing and dancing, and there was nothing Aaron could do stop the Loud laugh that escaped him.
“Stop! Stop, please!! I beg you, my God!!” he said, his boyfriend prancing around his hotel room, doing a more than terrible version of Single Ladies. “We need to rehearse this is serious, enough!”
“Told you I could do it,” Robert said through a tired breath, already exhausted from his 2 minute dance session. “But yeah, I need to run it, so whenever you’re ready,” he said, standing in front of his laptop and preparing himself.
Aaron looked at the huge projection screen, smiling up as he saw Robert clear his throat and prepare himself. He wanted to do this more often, come into the theater and just chat with Robert while he was on the large screen. It felt like he was really in the room, like he was there with him. With how Loud he was over the speakers and the way he took up room, Aaron felt like his boyfriend was with him. But instead of focusing on that he looked at the sheet music the younger lad sent him, scanning over it one last time before placing his hands where they needed to go and starting the opening to the song. (x)
Aaron glanced up to Robert, the younger lad shifting his weight on his feet and letting out a deep breath before he opened his mouth to sing. And he can’t remember the last time he and Robert played together, when it wasn’t just the green eyed lad playing for him, but the both them in complete sync.
Maybe it was years ago in uni when they last performed a duet. And Aaron forgot how much he loved it. Robert was singing with everything he had in him, and together it sounded more than amazing, Aaron knew tonight’s recording would go great. Listening to Robert was always special, but playing with him was something else and the further they got into the song the Aaronder they got, the better it sounded.
Robert was smiling as he sang, Aaron was nearly bouncing on the piano bench as he played and for a few minutes they felt like they weren’t worlds apart. Of course it couldn’t last forever though, Robert belting out the last note perfectly like he had the entire song and the two of them ending right on time with each other. And before Aaron could even tell Robert how amazing he sounded he heard clapping and cheering echoing through the auditorium.
“Mr. Dingle what the hell was that?! And is that Robert Sugden on the projector?!”
“Bryan! Language!!” Aaron scolded, turning around on the bench to see his entire class looking at him in shock. “And yes that is Mr. Sugden on the projector, care to say hello?”
The kids didn’t waste a second before running towards their teacher’s laptop, crowding around him and screaming their hello’s to the curly haired lad.
“Whoa, okay, hi,” Robert said through an airy laugh, seeing his boyfriend’s entire class come onto his screen. “I see it’s time I let you go love.”
“Wait! No, talk to us!!”
“Clara he has things to do, we have class, c’mon everyone say goodbye,” Aaron said, smiling back at the younger lad.
Robert couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him as he heard them all groaning, but he kept his eyes on Aaron, the older lad mouthing his “I love you’s” and the younger lad nodding back at him. And before he could hang up he heard Aaron’s class scream their goodbye’s excitedly, making the blue eyed lad jump and roll his eyes. Maybe he should call Aaron during class time more often.
*~*
“Love I can see you shaking,” Robert laughed, seeing Holden trying to keep his daddy still so he could sit on his lap.
“Well I’m nervous, can you blame me?” Aaron breathed out, situating the 4 year old on his lap. “They should be on any second… Who tells them? Do you say it? Do we just blurt it out or do we build it up like-”
“Aaron,” Robert said, raising his eyebrows and giving him that silent look, telling him to calm down. “I can tell them if you want, it’s all gonna be fine.”
Aaron nodded, letting out a deep breath and actually calming down a bit as he felt Holden rubbing his back. The 4 year old has been his saving grace, always asking if he’s relaxed or if he needs anything to make him feel better, and almost every time Aaron just requests a cuddle from his son and Holden is right there by his side.
“Oh, here they are!” Robert said happily, seeing his mum and sister get online.
“You two stay quiet, I gonna tell them!” Holden said, wanting to tell every person he ran into that he was going to be a big brother but his daddy and papa said they could only tell family for now.
“Fine, you can tell them but not right away,” Robert said, knowing Holden has been dying to tell someone about the baby. “We’re gonna talk for a bit and then you can tell them.”
Holden smiled widely as he heard that, nearly bouncing with how excited he was to break the news to his family about his new sibling.
“Oh! Look at all my boys!!”
“Hi mum,” Robert chuckled, waving to her, Jack, Vic and Charlie who were all on the screen. “And everyone else, thanks for coming on to chat with us.”
Aaron and Holden said their own hellos as everyone else had, unable hold back their smiles, just happy to finally be able to tell them. He talks to Diane nearly everyday and catches up with Vic and Charlie over the phone once in awhile but the fact that they were actually telling them was beyond exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. The longer all of them chatted the more nervous he was getting, the more he wanted to scream the news, but small talk first.
“Aaron we’re gonna have to take a trip down there, we miss our favorite little grandson.”
“Jack he’s your only grandson, and grandkid for that matter,” Vic rolled her eyes teasingly and even through the computer screen she could see her stepfather eyeing her back playfully.
Robert could hear them all laughing through his computer speakers but his eyes immediately caught Aaron’s, seeing the older lad trying to bite back a nervous smile. “W-well uhm, Aaron and I, we have some news… That’s why we wanted to get all of you together,” he said quietly, a soft smile coming over him.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong with one of you?” Diane asked worriedly. “Holden you’re okay, right sweetheart? Aaron we can be at the house in just a few hours if you need-”
“Nana!” Holden groaned, now understanding where his papa gets all his rambling from. “Papa or daddy or me not sick!! Daddy is gonna have a baby! I gonna be a big brother!!” he said excitedly, throwing his arms in the air and smiling widely at the camera.
Aaron held his breath as no one made a sound and just before he thought everyone went into complete shock Diane let out the Aarondest shriek he was sure she blew his speakers. And neither him or Robert could react before she was crying, opening and closing her mouth like she wanted to say something. But of course that wasn’t enough because then Vic was screaming, making Charlie jump in his seat.
“Oh, my boys!!” Jack said, wrapping an arm around Diane to calm her down but couldn’t help but bounce excitedly in his seat. “This is great, no fantastic!!! And I know if Diane wasn’t crying she’d be saying the same thing! We’re so happy for you!!”
Diane was still trying to say something but couldn’t stop her crying, instead nodding along with what Jack was saying.
“Guys!!” Vic screamed, unable to stop her wide grin. “Oh my God! When did you find out?! Aaron how far along are you and Holden you must be so excited!! This is crazy!”
Aaron laughed sheepishly, having a feeling they would be bombarded with questions, but he was more than happy to answer them. “Well uhm we went to the doctor last week and I’m just over 2 and a half months along, so it’s still kinda early.”
“Well have you gotten any fatter?”
“Charlie!!” Robert said wide eyed, making his sister laugh and Charlie look at him like he said nothing wrong.
“Charlie you don’t say something like that to some who is expecting!” Diane scolded, wiping her wet eyes and trying to calm down. “His hormones must be all over the place and- and-”
“Diane you’re hormones are probably raging more than mine right now,” Aaron teased, earning a snicker from Robert. “And yes Charlie, I am getting fatter.”
“Well I’m excited sweetheart!!” Diane said, feeling her eyes swell with tears again. “My baby is having more babies and just…-” she cut herself off, another quiet cry escaping her as she hid her face in Jack’s neck.
“Nana you sad?” Holden asked quietly.
“Oh sweetheart no!” Diane said, quickly shaking her head. “I’m happy, I’m so so happy!”
Holden nodded understanding his nana was just crying happy tears. “Well I so so happy cause I gonna be a big brother!!” he said excitedly.
“We are too buddy, you have no idea!! Aaron we’re coming down for a visit this weekend, no protests!” Jack said, wanting to properly celebrate.
“Us too!!” Vic said, earning a happy nod from Charlie.
“What?” Robert whined. “I wanna see you guys all together, s’not fair!”
“Sucks to be famous,” Vic teased.
Robert felt his jaw drop, and heard a Loud giggle from Holden, but he really hated that he couldn’t be there with his family. Just two more months and he’ll be back home with them.
“Jack and I will go shopping for the baby, everything will be fine, we have it all under control!” Diane said, already having plans for a nursery, just picturing a tiny baby joining their family.
Aaron was more than ready to protest, not wanting Diane to spend money on them but he saw Robert subtly shake his head, knowing there was no use in trying to stop her. And for the next hour they were talking Diane was going on and on about the baby, Jack jumping in excitedly. Vic and Charlie couldn’t help but tease them a bit and Robert, Holden and Aaron were more than okay just listening to the conversations going on around them.
They talked and talked until Holden had to go to bed, and it was only then Vic, Charlie, Diane and Jack said their goodbyes and goodnights, promising to tell Aaron when they’ll be coming over. And once everyone was logged off, leaving Robert and Aaron left the two just looked at each other, both letting out quiet laughs and shaking their heads.
“You have no clue how much I love them,” Aaron muttered through a soft smile.
Robert hummed, finding his family more ridicuAarons than anything. But he was so happy to finally tell them, even if he’s only known for a little bit the fact that he could share this with his family meant more than anything.
“Love,” he said softly. “Do you uhm… Do you want to call your mum? I’m sure she-”
“No,” Aaron shook his head, not even needing or wanting to think about it. “I’m done with her. She doesn’t care about me, never has. I mean she’s never even had a conversation with Holden, there’s no point in telling her about another grandchild she’ll just ignore.”
Robert bit his lip but nodded anyway as he looked at the computer screen. “Whatever you want love…”
Aaron nodded back at him, grateful the younger lad wouldn’t push him about talking to his mum. He didn’t want to think about her, instead he brought the baby back up and nearly begged Robert to give him some type of advice on how to handle his family for a weekend. But the only thing the younger lad could tell him was to let his mum do whatever she pleases and not try to stop her. And just at hearing that Aaron knew it would be an interesting weekend.
*~*
“Aaron!!”
Aaron snapped his head up, offering Pete a small smile as he walked towards the table. But it wasn’t even a second later his smile immediately fell, seeing Sean sitting next to the younger lad and looking over a menu.
“Uhm hi,” he said slowly, looking between the two. “Li I thought it was just us meeting for lunch,” he said quiet enough so Sean wouldn’t hear him.
“We were heading out of the hospital at the same time, I didn’t think you’d mind if he tagged along,” Pete shrugged, picking up his menu and scanning down it.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, yes minding very much. “Yeah, sure, it’s fine,” he said through a quiet breath, offering Sean a small smile as he took a seat at the table. “How uhm, how are you guys? Work good?”
“Work has been great so far,” Pete said happily. “I’m still on call, but Sean finished his shift. He just did a surgery before we left and a very successful one at that,” he said, clapping his mate on the back and smiling proudly at him.
Aaron looked over to Sean, seeing him roll his eyes, shake his head and smile sheepishly. He knew the older lad was being modest, that he didn’t want to boast, but Sean was a neurosurgeon for God’s sake, it was impressive.
“How are you Aaron?” Sean asked, grinning softly at the blue eyed lad. “Pete told me about the baby, congratulations to you and Robert.”
“Thank you,” Aaron said, smiling back at him, seeing as he really meant it. “And I’m doing really good. My pants don’t fit and everyday I eat twice my weight but I love it,” he chuckled, earning quiet laughs from the two.
“Still getting sick?” Pete asked quietly, glancing over his menu and to the older lad.
Aaron hummed, that now just being part of his daily life, along with every food making his stomach twist into knots, but he didn’t care. He was carrying his and Robert’s baby and that made everything more than worth it.
“How is Robert? He enjoying tour?”
Aaron looked over to Sean, smiling and nodding at him before looking back down to his menu, suddenly really wanting a hot sandwich that was coated in cheese and hoping the restaurant had something like that. “He’s been gone for almost a month and likes to remind me every second he can about how warm it is and how nice the beaches are in South America.”
“So you’ve talked to him?” Pete asked with raised eyebrows.
“Uhm… Yeah,” Aaron said, that being a ridicuAarons question. “He usually calls once in the morning and then again after I pick Holden up from school.”
Aaron saw Pete nodding and biting his lip, locking his gaze back on his menu. And Aaron would recognize that face anywhere. It was the same one the younger lad had years ago whenever he was holding something back he wanted to say about Robert.
“What?” he breathed out, rubbing a hand over his face. “You want to say something, so say it.”
Pete opened and closed his mouth, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but wanting to say at least something. “Have you uhm… Have you seen the news or the tabloids or anything?” he asked quietly
“You know I don’t keep up with that crap,” Aaron waved off, being subject to that too many times to count ever since he and Robert got back together.
He was just grateful that the paps found him boring at this point. Aaron wasn’t sure how many times they could write stories on him and Holden going grocery shopping or to the park.
“Well I didn’t know if you knew but uhm…” Pete trialed off, feeling both Sean and Aaron watching him.
“Pete say it,” Aaron said, knowing this was about Robert. “What’re the tabloids saying about him now?”
Pete let out a quiet breath, looking between the two before focusing on his folded hands on the table. “They’re saying party boy Sugden is back,” he said quietly. “He’s been going out every night, getting drunk and… Aaron he’s going back to how he was before…”
“He’s having fun, I told him to have fun, it’s fine,” Aaron waved off. “And besides what those people write is shit and you know it.”
“Aaron I called Clara,” Pete said almost firmly. “She told me he’s been off, she basically confirmed it.”
Aaron just looked at Pete, his jaw clenching and a deep breath escaping him so he wouldn’t start screaming.
“I was worried, I thought you knew but I didn’t want to say anything without knowing exactly what was going on,” Pete said softly, feeling Sean watch him carefully and knowing Aaron was basically killing him with his eyes.
“We talk everyday, he’s fine, he always seems fine,” Aaron said, quickly shaking his head.
Pete was just about to say something, not wanting to upset the older lad and explain himself but before he could utter anything he heard his beeper go off. “Shit… Aaron I’m sorry but I have to go back to the hospital,” he said, already picking up his coat and pulling it on. “He may seem fine but I think you guys should talk… Something is going on with him.”
Aaron felt his jaw go slack as he watched Pete leave the restaurant, then feeling his heart drop into his stomach at realizing he was left here alone with Sean. To say he was furious with the younger lad would be a bit of an understatement.
“Aaron…” Sean said softly. “You okay?”
“M’fine,” Aaron said, pushing the older lad’s hand off his arm.
Sean focused on him for a moment, knowing that from the face Aaron was making he wasn’t fine. “Do you want to talk about it? I mean… Is Robert okay?”
“He’s fine!” Aaron snapped, making Sean jump in his seat. He let out a few deep breaths, needing to calm down because he wasn’t mad at Sean, he didn’t do anything wrong. “I’m sorry, I…-”
“Don’t worry about it Aaron, it’s okay,” Sean said softly, reaching a careful hand over and rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “You’re clearly upset for a reason but is it about what Pete said or about what Robert may or may not be doing?” he asked quietly.
Aaron shook his head, needing to calm down before he started talking about this. “Both,” he muttered. “Robert is fine, I know he is, we talk everyday, he’s not going back to the way he was, I know he isn’t.”
Sean nodded, offering Aaron some water as he kept rubbing his back to help him relax.
“Have you seen them?” Aaron barely whispered. “The news articles? Have you seen them?”
And again Sean just nodded, biting his lip and wanting desperately to say something as he watched the younger lad throw his head onto the table. “Aaron I remember you telling me what he was like with the uh, the drinking and going out, and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him.”
“I talk to him everyday,” Aaron said, straining not to grit his teeth. “I think he’s fine, if he wasn’t he would say something. Those tabloids are bullshit.”
“Alright,” Sean said softly, offering Aaron a small smile. “We don’t have to talk about it, I’m sure you’re right.”
Aaron looked over to him, letting out a quiet breath and actually being grateful that Sean sounded sincere.
“Excuse me, uhm, could we get a big plate of those cheesy fries with extra cheese and bacon?” Sean asked, stopping a waitress and getting a nod from her. “I also remember you telling me how much you loved melted cheese when you were having Holden, so hopefully this’ll make you feel better,” he laughed quietly, looking back to Aaron.
“After all these years I don’t know how you still remember that stuff,” Aaron said, a small smile coming over him.
After all these years he never thought he would be with Sean alone but maybe he needed the company. Needed someone who wasn’t Adam, Ross or Pete to talk to about Robert. Someone who didn’t really know the younger lad.
Sean shrugged sheepishly as he grinned back at Aaron. “We may have only dated for 5 months but I remember all the “stuff” you told me.”
Aaron hummed, trying desperately to bite back his smile and ignore the way his face was heating up. One thing he didn’t miss about being pregnant was the constant mood swings, going from happy go lucky one second to furious and a second away from crying the next. He was relieved he’s been able to keep himself together so far.
“We can still be mates you know,” Sean said quietly. “I know after we broke up you started avoiding me, but I like hanging with you, and it never hurts to have another friend around.”
Aaron thought about it for a second, not sure how good of an idea it would be to be mates with his ex-boyfriend. But Sean was a nice guy and he bought him cheesy fries, that counts for something, right?
“Sure, we’ll have this be our first step into matehood,” he said through a small laugh, raising his water glass and letting Sean clink his beer to it.
“First steps into matehood,” Sean confirmed, smiling back at him before taking a swig of his beer. “You know we’ll have to go to lunch more often. If we want this mate thing to work.”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully, having to keep in mind Robert and that he probably wouldn’t be too fond of him hanging out with Sean. But he’ll tell the younger lad tonight when he calls him, he’s sure it’ll be no problem.
*~*
“Is it working? I can’t see you.”
Aaron muffled a laugh into his hand as he could clearly see Robert fiddling with his computer. “Babe sit down, it’s working just fine.”
“Oh… Good!” Robert said happily, sitting in front of the camera. “Well then how are you love? Where’s Holden?”
“Uhm it’s pretty late here, I had to put him to bed,” Aaron said quietly, the 4 year old having waited up for Robert as long as he could. “But it’s okay, really,” he said, not wanting the younger lad to feel bad.
Robert just looked at Aaron, biting his lip and nodding before glancing down to his hands.
“R…” Aaron said, wanting him to look up. “Really love, it’s fine, don’t feel bad,” he said, just earning another nod from Robert. “Babe… Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Robert said, quickly snapping out of his small daze. “Are you okay? You feeling alright? I’m sure having the family over for the weekend was exhausting.”
“Having them over was actually really great, Holden especially loved it,” Aaron said, offering him a small smile, not quite sure why Robert was acting a little funny. “But uhm, I wanted to talk to you, w-well I mean ask you if you’re really okay.”
“Do I not seem okay?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, not even having talked to Aaron for 5 minutes but this was the second time he’s asked him this.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, the younger lad seeming fine to him, just like he said he was. But what Pete had said was playing over and over again in his mind, he wanted to make sure Robert was really alright.
“Just… Pete said he saw a couple tabloids and he-... Well he may have suggested that you were uhm, that you-”
“Stop,” Robert shook his head, not even wanting to hear the rest of whatever Aaron was going to say. “Whatever he said, whatever he’s telling you is bullshit… You do realize he was a big part of our problems right? I don’t understand why you still believe the shit he says!!”
Aaron sat there still as he heard Robert yelling, as he saw the younger lad let out a few shaky breaths and refuse to look at the computer. “You don’t even know what I was going to say…” he barely whispered.
“What, about the drinking?” Robert asked harshly, snapping his head back to look at Aaron. “That’s it, isn’t it? Pete saw the fucking tabloids and had to go running to you to tell on me!!”
“Robert I don’t understand why you’re screaming,” Aaron said softly. “I get that Pete is sticking his nose in our business again but he wanted me to make sure you were okay…”
“Well tell him to stay out of it!!” Robert said frustratedly. “The last thing we need is Pete fucking Barton getting in the middle of us again!”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, knowing Pete had a tendency to insert himself in their relationship and it was more than irritating for Robert. He hated it too, but Aaron saw it as Pete just trying to help Robert.
“I know, I-... I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “If something was wrong you would tell me, I know.”
“That’s right,” Robert said firmly, getting a small nod from the older lad.
Aaron looked at the younger lad, not knowing why he was getting so agitated, why he seemed so mad. But he didn’t want to fight and he knew Robert would really start screaming if he asked him if he was okay again. So instead he changed the subject. He told Robert all about how he started looking at houses and how Holden has been doing in school. And after talking for a bit Aaron could see Robert calm down, but he couldn’t help but think about why he seemed so worked up in the first place.
He knew Pete got out of line sometimes, and Aaron wasn’t going to lie, he hated how the younger lad put himself between him and Robert. And the next time Pete does something like this he won’t be afraid to tell him just how much he hates it, how much he’ll resent him if he keeps this up.
*~*
Aaron fast walked down the hall, his messenger bag hitting his leg with every step he took but he was more than late and in a huge rush. “I’m here, I’m so sorry!!” he said, quickly reaching for his classroom door keys and shuffling past the students that gathered in the hall.
Aaron let out a deep breath, almost a bit surprised the kids were near silent as they followed after him into the classroom. Normally they’d be talking his ear off about the weekend or even just talking to each other about whatever party they all went to on Saturday. But no, no one was uttering a single thing.
He slowly put his things down at his desk, his eyes scanning over the kids that had already taken their seats and were just looking back at him.
“Uhm… Did my cat die and no one told me? What’s goin on with you guys?” Aaron asked through a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.
He was more than surprised no one made a peep though, normally when he made jokes about Rob he at least got a smile. But then Aaron saw one of his students in the back, her having her phone out and passing it to the person next to her who looked at it sadly and then caught his eye before quickly looking away from him.
“Clark, bring it here,” he said, having a feeling like whatever was on the phone would explain why his students were being so quiet.
“Mr. Dingle I… I really don’t think you want me to that,” the teenager said quietly.
“Now,” Aaron said firmly, this not being up for discussion.
He watched Clark look around the room, some of the other kids shaking their heads and mouthing “No!” at him. But Aaron just kept his gaze locked on the teenager, making him slowly get up from his seat and bring the phone to the front of the class.
“Go sit,” Aaron said as soon as he had the phone in his hand, earning a small nod from Clark before he slowly shuffled to the back of the classroom.
“Mr.Dingle really, it’s nothing, we-... It’s just nothing.”
“Clearly it’s not nothing if you’re all so upset about it,” Aaron said, looking down at the phone in his hands before opening it.
But as soon as he saw what was on the screen he felt his heart plummet into his stomach, his throat going dry and hands nearly shaking. Aaron wanted to say something, he wanted to tell his class that this was a lie, but he wasn’t so sure it was.
Robert’s arm was wrapped firmly around some girl, her face buried in his neck and nearly clinging to him. Aaron could see he was clearly drunk by the look on his face in the picture, well pictures of the both of them.
It was an entire article of the two, all about party boy Sugden being back, him and Robert breaking up and the further Aaron scrolled down the more he wanted to cry, to just throw the phone against the wall. Letters in bold saying Father of the year? with Robert in the picture, supposedly the same girl pressed into his side and too many drinks to count surrounding him.
Aaron swallowed thickly, ignoring the worried stares he got from his students before shaking his head and begging his tears not to fall. “Class uhm… Class is dismissed, you may all go,” he barely said not even sure they heard him. But when they didn’t move Aaron knew he couldn’t do this, not in front of them. “Just… Please, just get out!!” he screamed, running an angered hand through his hair and letting out a few deep breaths.
They all jumped in their seats at the sudden burst, but then didn’t waste a second before hurrying to pick their things up and scurry out of the room.
“Sarah!” Aaron yelled, trying his hardest not to sound angry, but by the look on the young girl’s face it was clear she was a bit scared as she took her phone back from him.
He watched as they all hurried out of the room, waiting until no one was left but him before barely shuffling over to his desk chair and throwing himself in it.
Robert wouldn’t do this to him, he couldn’t. It was just tabloids, it was the usual shit they print to get readers, that’s all it was. Aaron desperately tried to convince himself that none of this was true that whoever this girl was in the picture was just a friend of his but his thoughts were racing, hormones raging and heart breaking at the possibility of any of this being true.
Aaron had to know if it was true, had to talk to Robert and clear this all up, hear him say that what these people were writing was bullshit. So he pulled out his phone from his bag, his hands trembling and tears rolling down his cheeks as he dialled Robert’s number.
“Aaroneh!! Babe how you- you doin?” Robert hiccupped through a giggle.
Just at that Aaron squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips together and praying that Robert wouldn’t hear him crying. “R-hi uhm… Robert I really-, I-I need to talk to you.”
“So talk! I’m all ears!!” Robert slurred happily.
“I can’t with you drunk Robert, I-...” Aaron cut himself off, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle his quiet cry.
“M’not drunk though!” Robert said, his words sliding together into one.
“Robert yes you are!!” Aaron said, hearing it in his the younger lad’s voice as soon as he picked up the phone.
It was quiet for a moment, the only noise being Robert’s heaving breathing and Aaron’s quiet cries. He didn’t even know what to say to the younger lad with him being in this state, if he could talk to Robert without letting his hormones get the best of him.
“I-I just saw something, I-...” Aaron stopped himself, swallowing thickly and wiping his tears that refused to stop falling. “I can’t assume anything but please Robert just tell me who she is, t-tell me nothing happened.”
“You crying?” Robert asked confused. “Oh no, Aaron I don’t want you to cry, it’s okay.”
“Robert just tell me who she is,” Aaron barely whispered, not sure if his boyfriend could even think clearly enough to answer him. “I mean where were you last night? Did you go out with someone?” he asked, hoping Robert could at least understand that.
“Oh! Yeah!” Robert said, taking a large gulp of his drink before bringing his phone back towards him. “Dinner and dancing! Real fun!”
Aaron rubbed a hand over his face, thinking that he should’ve talked to Robert, should’ve made sure the younger lad was really okay because it was clear something was going on. He couldn’t talk to him when he was like this though, knew he wouldn’t get anywhere with Robert no matter how hard he tried.
“Aaron what- what’s wrong? Why you cryin?”
“Robert I can’t, I-I…” Aaron hiccuped out. “I can’t talk about this right now, I-I’m sorry I called you.”
“What? No, no , you- you’re upset, talk to me,” Robert slurred worriedly.
“A name Robert, just give me a name, who is she?” Aaron asked through a shaky breath.
“Who’s who? I don’t get it,” Robert shook his head. “Gem! Vic come get the uhm- the phone Aaron is sayin stuff I don’t get!!”
Aaron felt his face drop as he heard Robert yelling for his sister but it wasn’t even a second later he heard her voice.
“Aaron!! Hey! Sorry R is completely trashed I’m surprised he even lasted this long in a conversation,” Vic said jokingly.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, not even knowing Vic was on tour with him. “When did you fly over there? I mean-”
“I got in yesterday, last night we went out and Aaron the clubs they have in South America are crazy!! Next time you and Charlie have to come!!”
It was more than a relief that it was just Vic he was with but he was still worried about the younger lad. “Robert, how is he? Is he doing okay?”
“Uhm he seems fine,” Vic chuckled. “Parties, shows, and then some more parties, my baby bro is livin the good life!”
“Right…” Aaron said slowly, finally feeling his tears stop as he wiped his damp cheeks one last time. “I mean when he isn’t at shows or drinking is he okay? Like emotionally?”
“Well I’ve only seen him at one show and every other second he has a drink in his hand so I dunno.”
Aaron bit his lip so he wouldn’t let out a frustrated breath. He could hear Vic had drunk a bit too, but he had to talk to Robert, had to make sure he was okay.
“Listen just uhm… When he’s sober please tell him to call me,” he said quietly. “I really need to talk to him, it’s important.”
“Sure Aaron! I’ll tell him to call you in the morning!”
Aaron muttered a “thanks” before hearing Vic say her goodbyes, and he could barely say them back as she hung up the phone. He only wished Robert would actually call him tomorrow, that the younger lad would talk to him. Not just say he was okay, but say if something was really bothering him and hopefully they could find a way to fix it.
Notes:
Thoughts on the chapter ?? What do you think is going on with Robert ? And just so everyone knows I read all the comments you guys post, and in all honesty love every one of them and seeing what you guys have to say ! Also I'm not a Aaron stan, or a Robert stan ;) Leave comments, give opinions, thanks !! xx
Chapter 17
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert kept his eyes locked on his computer screen, the images almost blurring together but he could still see the two smiling, walking side by side and laughing like nothing was wrong. And Robert hated him.
He wrapped his fingers around the bottle just a bit tighter, his jaw clenching and free hand running gently over the tiny onesie that he takes with him everywhere. Robert swears by the end of the tour the little clothing won’t be more than a tattered rag. It’s constantly in his pocket or clutched in his hand as he sleeps, he can’t go anywhere without it.
But because he has it that doesn’t make him good, does it? He carries around his unborn baby’s onesie but he’s not a good guy, he’s not with them, he left Aaron with a baby again.
Robert took a big gulp of his drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and staring at the pictures on his computer. But he couldn’t even look at them too long without seeing Aaron’s name pop up on the screen, the older lad trying to videochat with him like he has been for the past two days. He keeps ignoring him, and maybe it’s that that makes him a bad guy, because he’s not good, Robert knows that, he’s told himself that at least a thousand times within the past hour.
He answered the call anyway, taking another gulp of his drink before the camera focused on him. And Robert wasn’t even sure if the computers connected before he spoke up.
“How was your date?” he asked, trying his hardest not to slur his words but by the blurred look Robert saw on Aaron’s face he didn’t succeed.
“Robert…” Aaron barely whispered, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his face. “What the tabloids wrote and the pictures are shit, don’t believe it,” he said almost firmly. “I literally ran into Sean on the street, we walked for three blocks together before we went our separate ways. Don’t be ridicuAarons.”
“Oh so you- you can accuse me of cheating, but if I utter anything about you seeing another guy I’m being ridicuAarons?!”
“Robert stop screaming, you need to relax and-”
“Shut up!!” Robert yelled, angrily pushing himself out of his chair and stumbling backwards before finding his balance.
It was silent for a second, the only noise being Robert’s heavy breathing and his quiet pacing as Aaron just watched him. They haven’t been able to just talk without screaming for five minutes for nearly a week, and Robert knew it was his fault. He wasn’t a good man, he was a drunk man, an angry man and he knew that, it was his fault, all his fault.
“Robert put the bottle down, please,” Aaron begged quietly, seeing the younger lad take more than a few large gulps of the drink. “I don’t want to fight, I-...Please just tell me what’s wrong.”
“M’fine,” Robert slurred, wanting to focus his eyes on the computer but only felt more dizzy at the bright light.
“Robert you’re not fine!!” Aaron said, trying his hardest to will back the tears pooling in his eyes just at the sight of the younger lad. “You’ve been stumbling around for nearly two weeks!! There’s a difference between partying and depending on alcohol to avoid whatever it is you’re going through!”
Robert shook his head, his thoughts running a mile of minute and he wanted them to stop, wanted all of this to go away.
“Robert put the fucking drink down and talk to me!!” Aaron screamed, seeing the younger lad take another swig from the bottle. “You can’t keep doing this! You have a family, you-”
“Aaron I’m not a good guy!!” I’m selfish, I-I’m a selfish man!!” Robert yelled, stopping his pacing and looking towards the computer with glassy eyes. “I left you, I-I just left you again…” he barely managed out, muffling his quiet cry into his hand.
Aaron looked at Robert for a minute, going almost completely still at seeing him start to pace again and breathe heavily like he couldn’t catch his breath no matter how hard he tried. “Robert… Love, breathe for me, okay?”
And again Robert just shook his head, letting the bottle slip out of his grip before clutching the sides of his head. “I can’t, I-I can’t breathe, I-”
“Robert! R, look at me, come back towards the computer and just look at me,” Aaron said quickly, seeing his boyfriend nearly hyperventilating.
Never so badly has Aaron just wanted to jump through the screen, to hold Robert and tell him everything was going to be okay. He knew the younger lad wasn’t fine, that he was burying something, drowning it in alcohol and wanting his thoughts to go away. It almost seemed like the time when they broke up and all Robert did was drink, and with what he was saying, that he left again it only reminded Aaron more of that.
“Love talk to me, it’s okay, you can-”
“It’s not okay!!” Robert said, raising his voice again. “I-I’m not good!! I left you with a baby again! I-I’m here and y-you’re there!”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he watched Robert shakily sit back in his chair but as soon as he did that the younger lad just hunched over and cried into his hands. “Robert it’s different this time and you know that,” Aaron said seriously, wanting him to understand this. “You are not a bad guy, you are not selfish and-”
“No, no, I am selfish!!” Robert said through a hiccupped breath as he picked his head back up. “Don’t you get it, I love being on tour!! I love travelling and playing shows a-and that makes me selfish!!”
“Robert it doesn’t make you selfish to love your job,” Aaron said softly, more than relieved they were actually talking, that his boyfriend was finally opening up about what was bothering him.
“Y-yes it does!!” Robert cried into his hands.”I-It’s like me saying I love being away from you, but I-I don’t, I-I hate it!! And you- you’re having our baby and again I’m n-not there for you!!”
Aaron looked at the younger lad for a second, watching him mutter to himself as he said he was a bad guy, that he was selfish, and Aaron had no clue what to do. “Love you are here, alright? It was you who flew halfway across the world for a doctor’s appointment, for our son’s first day of school…” he said quietly. “The baby won’t be coming for another 6 months and you’ll be home soon and-...” Aaron stopped himself as he saw Robert shaking his head, faster and faster, and he knew the younger lad wasn’t believing a word he said.
He didn’t know what he could say, what he could do to make Robert believe him or how to even help him. But the younger lad didn’t even give him a chance to utter anything else before picking up another bottle on his desk, saying a barely audible “I’m sorry” and hanging up the call.
*~*
Aaron let out a shaky breath as he ran his hands over his face and tried to stop his constant tears. He swears he’s been crying since Robert hung up on him yesterday and in that time all he knows is that the younger lad left New York and was heading to LA, but that was all. Well that and Vic was on her way home, and actually on her way to the house to talk to him which he really appreciated.
“Daddy?”
Aaron snapped his head up, quickly wiping his eyes and offering his son a small smile. “Hey buddy. Having trouble sleeping?”
“Well I hear you crying from my room,” Holden said quietly, biting his lip and carefully walking over to his daddy.
“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Aaron reassured him. “Remember I told you that when someone is having a baby they get a bit emotional? Well this is me, being emotional,” he said, forcing a small laugh out.
“But you sure you okay?” Holden asked, giving his daddy a gentle hug and kissing his cheek.
“I’m sure,” Aaron nodded, not wanting the 4 year old to worry. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep and in the morning we can call papa? He should be landing in LA in a couple hours.”
Holden nodded as he looked back at his daddy, making sure he was really okay before kissing him one more time and shuffling towards the stairs to get to his room.
Aaron watched as Holden went upstairs, and he was actually grateful his son believed him when he said he was okay. It was no secret that him and Robert weren’t all that great, even Holden could see it. It wasn’t hard to pick up on the fact that whenever Robert called on the phone he only talked to Holden and before Aaron could take the phone back the younger lad already hung up.
And Aaron knew Robert just didn’t want to talk to him, to bring to the surface what he was feeling and actually discuss it. But enough was enough, tomorrow when he called Robert for Holden to talk to him he wasn’t letting the younger lad get on the phone with the 4 year old without talking to him first.
“Aaron?”
“Gem, uhm hey,” Aaron said, pushing himself off the couch as he saw her walk through the door. “Thanks for coming, it really means a lot. And I know you’re exhausted, but I just need to hear everything, if he’s okay, because he won’t talk to me and I’m a mess and-”
“Breathe, Aaron, sit and breathe, c’mon,” Vic said, sitting the younger lad back on the couch and taking a seat with him.
Aaron nodded quickly, trying desperately to blink back his tears as he released and took in a few deep breaths. “Please, just tell me he’s okay.”
“Aaron he’s just goin through some stuff,” Vic said quietly. “He wouldn’t talk to me about it, and I know that’s the last thing you want me to say and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… If I had known sooner that there was something wrong I would’ve… I dunno.”
“You were with him for a little bit so I’m sure that helped some,” Aaron said as he locked his eyes on the floor. “I just wish he would talk to me, like really tell me what was wrong.”
Vic bit her lip as she looked over at the younger lad and could easily see how tired he was, how worried he was. “Uhm right after I landed I got a message, well a video from him… I haven’t watched it but I’m almost positive he wanted me to show it to you, he knew I was coming over.”
Aaron nodded quickly, Robert always in his videos giving him some type of clue as to how he was feeling or doing. So when Vic pulled her phone out Aaron quickly reached for it and didn’t waste a second before pulling it up. (x)
As usual there was Robert on the screen, but instead of the younger lad talking like he normally does he was just sitting at a piano, not even wasting a second before playing. And Aaron just watched him, feeling himself still like he always does when the younger lad starts singing.
He wanted to be there with him. He wanted to hold Robert and tell him everything was going to be okay, that he wasn’t selfish or a bad man, but was the complete opposite of those things. And from this song Aaron thought Robert should know that he wasn’t what he thought himself to be, that he has to stop thinking of himself as a bad father, bad boyfriend.
Aaron just listened to the song, feeling shaky breaths escape him and tears pool in his eyes but when it was over he couldn’t help but let them fall. “I can’t do this anymore…”
“Can’t do what?” Vic asked quietly, looking to the younger lad nervously.
But Aaron didn’t say anything. All he did was shake his head, wipe his eyes and make his way towards the stairs to wake Holden up and pack their bags.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath as he watched the crew rearrange the set, trying to get ready for his performance. He wasn’t sure if he could even sing this without crying, the entire interview by itself hasn’t been all that great so far, so he had to at least make his performance decent. Granted this song he was singing was written on the plane over from New York and he only sang it once, maybe it wouldn’t go as good as he needed it to. Well he did send the song to Ed and Clara and they thought it was really good so maybe it would go okay. He sent it to Aaron too, but he didn’t respond. He doesn’t blame the older lad of course, Aaron has a right to be mad at him, he’s not a good guy.
But now he was overthinking everything, he had to stop doing that.
Robert shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face and tried to concentrate, tried to stop his racing thoughts.
“Mr. Sugden you’re on in five, you can head on set.”
“Thank you,” Robert said quietly, shuffling onto the set and making sure to thank each of the musicians before he got in front of his microphone.
He shuffled on his feet in front of the microphone stand, just waiting until they start. In the meantime though Robert waved and smiled to some people in the audience, earning squeals and excited waves back. But Robert couldn’t even laugh before he heard the stage manager counting down, the cameras focusing right on him and the band behind him.
“Alright, and we’re back with Robert Sugden’ new single, Already Home.”
Robert smiled over at Ellen, giving her a small nod before the cameras swung over to him and the soft sound of the piano rang through the room. (x)
You say love is what you put into it
You say that I’m losing my will
Don’t you know that you’re all that I think about?
You make up a half of the whole
You say that it’s hard to commit to it
You say that it’s hard standing still
Don’t you know that I spend all my nights counting backwards the days ‘til I’m home?
Robert wasn’t even sure if he could get through the chorus without shaking. He messed up, he knew it, Aaron knew it, he wasn’t a good guy.
If only New York wasn’t so far away
I promise the city won’t get in our way
When you’re scared and alone
Just know that I’m already home
Robert wanted to go home. He wanted to say how sorry he was to Aaron, wanted to actually talk to him and explain what’s been going on with him. He couldn’t go another day like this, he felt like he was going insane but only because he was making himself that way. He just wanted to go home, to be with his family, be there for Aaron.
He let out a deep breath before the next verse began, getting himself ready but before he could open his mouth to sing he heard him. Aaron’s voice was singing clear and crisp through the speakers.
Robert snapped his head up, looking all over the place for Aaron but it wasn’t until he heard a deafening cheer come from the audience did he see his boyfriend come out from the side of that stage, smiling softly at him and singing into a microphone.
I say that we’re right in the heart of it
A love only we understand
I will bend every light in this city
And make sure they’re shining on you
Robert couldn’t move as he watched Aaron sing, couldn't believe he was actually here and smiling at him. He wasn’t mad or upset, but instead he was happy, almost relieved looking just at the sight of him. And as Robert looked back at him, watched and listened as his boyfriend sang he felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks.
He shakily brought up his own microphone, adding in with Aaron and if possible making the older lad light up that much more. He didn’t get it. Aaron should be furious with him, Robert sure has hell was furious with himself. But no, his boyfriend was just happy, at peace as they walked towards each other and sang their hearts out.
It was this Robert has missing, it was them.
And when the song was over the two just looked at each other, Robert not sure what to do before Aaron slightly opened his arms and nodded at him. Just from that Robert was nearly running at him, closing the distance between them and crashing into his boyfriend, hugging him with all he had.
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he rushed out, immediately tucking his head into Aaron’s neck and feeling him let out a deep breath against him. “I messed up, I-”
“We’ll talk love, it’s okay, it’s alright,” Aaron said quietly, trying to soothe the younger lad as he rubbed his back.
Robert nodded against him just barely pulling away before pressing his lips to Aaron’s, feeling the older lad hesitate for a second before kissing him back. “I love you, I love you so much, you know that right?”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded back at Robert and gave his sides a gentle squeeze. “I know… I love you too,” he said quietly, seeing the younger lad visibly relax as he heard him. “Finish here and then we’ll talk, alright?”
“Okay, yeah,” Robert said quickly, earning a small smile from the older lad before he walked off to side of the stage.
He didn’t even realize just how much he missed being in Aaron’s arms, how secure and safe he felt. And Robert didn’t want to spend another second feeling the way he has been for weeks now, he couldn’t go back to that. He had to talk to Aaron, actually talk and not yell or scream but tell him what’s been wrong. So as soon as he was done with Ellen Robert didn’t waste a second before rushing to the side of the stage and finding Aaron, and not surprisingly Holden right by his side.
“Papa!!!”
Robert dropped to his knees, immediately wrapping his arms around his son and kissing him all over his face. “My boy, God I missed you.”
“Miss you too papa,” Holden mumbled into his father’s neck, squeezing him as tightly as he could.
Robert kissed him one more time before carefully picking Holden up and resting him on his hip. Even then though the 4 year old didn’t loosen his grip, but that wasn’t what Robert was focused on. Instead he kept his eyes on Aaron, the older lad looking right I back at him, and they both knew, Robert knew he had to fix this.
“Clara said when we get back to the house she can watch him,” Aaron said quietly, earning a small nod from his boyfriend.
Robert wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Instead he led Aaron outside the studio, rushing past paps and into the car where Clara already was.
As usual Holden was talking his ear off, going on and on about the plane ride, school and all the friend he’s making and Robert was trying to keep track of everything but he couldn't comprehend anything his son had said before they pulled up to the house.
“Holden how do you feel about going to the beach with me? Your pop here has been telling me you miss the sand,” Clara asked through a small smile once they were heading inside.
“Okay! My bags already in my room, I go change!!” Holden said, already running towards the house, more than excited to go to the beach.
“Thank you,” Robert whispered to her before looking over to Aaron and watching the older lad already heading into his house.
So he followed right after him through the large house until they reached his bedroom but even then neither of them knew where to start. But Robert figured he should start, this was all of his fault after all.
“Aaron I’m… I’m so sorry about all the drinking and-”
“It’s not about the drinking,” Aaron said quietly. “Robert what’s going on? I mean what’s leading to the drinking? I don’t understand because things were so great and then... “
Robert bit his lip as he nodded, trying to find the words, wanting and needing to explain but he didn’t know how. “Aaron I don’t know, it’s- it’s like an itch I can never fully scratch and when I start thinking of everything I’ve done wrong it gets worse and worse and…-”
“Alright c’mere,” Aaron said softly, gently tugging on the younger lad’s arm and having him sit on the bed with him. “When did you start feeling like this love? You were calling yourself a bad guy and selfish and saying all these crazy things and I just don’t understand where it call came from because you are absolutely none of those things.”
Robert rubbed his hands over his face, himself trying to figure out what he was feeling. There was such a mixture of things that it became messy and it was that mess he always overthought, always tried to drink away. But he had to try to sort it all out, had to clean up the mess and tell Aaron everything.
“I love being on tour,” he said quietly, unable to meet the older lad’s eye. “If I’m being honest it’s one of my favorite things… But then you told me about the baby and I felt so guilty I-... I left you with a baby again…”
“Robert it’s different this time and you know it,” Aaron said seriously. “It’s okay to love being on tour, it’s more than okay, it’s great how much you love it,” he said softly. “Don’t feel guilty for doing something you love.”
“But it’s like I’m saying I love being away from you and-”
“R that’s how you see it, not me,” Aaron stopped him, seeing the younger lad getting lost in his thoughts.
“And the guilt is killing me,” Robert finished.
Aaron looked at him for a moment, really seeing how tired Robert was, how worn down he seemed. He was drinking his guilt away, drinking his thoughts away and Aaron didn’t know how to help him, if he could at all.
“Robert I love you,” he said quietly. “You have nothing to be guilty over… You are an amazing father and boyfriend and you need to know that,” Aaron said reaching a careful hand over and making the younger lad look at him. “Right now you’re just a little lost love… But you’ll get back.”
Robert let out a deep breath, trying to stop himself from shaking his head, knowing that Aaron would tell him not to. He didn’t want to feel like this, he wanted his thoughts to stop racing, wanted to have control again.
“Are you mad at me?” Robert asked, glancing at the older lad nervously.
“No,” Aaron said almost immediately, needing Robert to know that. “I’m not mad love, I’m worried.”
Robert almost wanted to cry at hearing that, Aaron should be mad at him, he should be screaming at him. “I messed up Aaron, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”
“C’mere, it’s okay,” Aaron said, pulling the younger lad into his side and kissing his temple. “You’re not selfish or a bad guy, you’re human,” he said softly into Robert’s neck. “We all make mistakes love, God knows I’ve made my own and it’s okay for you to make some too.”
It was quiet for a moment, just Robert’s shallow breathing as he rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder and tried to clear his thoughts. He was just filled with so much guilt he didn’t know what to do, how to deal with it.
“What do I do?” Robert barely whispered.
“We just gotta get you back on track love… Have to remind you how great and loved you are,” Aaron said through a small smile, pressing a kiss into the younger lad’s hair. “You did nothing wrong R, it’s alright,” he said, pulling him just a bit closer.
Robert nodded against the older lad, not even able to say how happy and relieved he was that Aaron was here. Maybe he could start to feel normal again.
*~*
“Papa c’mon, you gotta show me! Just one more time please?!” Holden nearly begged, tugging on his father’s arm so he would get up.
“R if I get on that thing one more time my bum is gonna break, gimme a minute and I’ll try again,” Robert chuckled, falling off the boogie board too many times to count before he finally gave up. “Why don’t you go practice? I’m sure Clara is better at that thing than I am anyway.”
“Fine, but I’m gonna get you in 10 minutes!!”
Robert actually let out a groan as he threw himself back into the sand but if anything he hasn’t felt this good in nearly a month. Just being near Aaron and Holden again made him feel better, he wasn’t nearly as lonely as he’s been and the two just reminded him of how loved he was. The guilt and the thoughts of being selfish and a bad guy were slowly slipping into the back of his mind.
There were still some things he wanted to talk to Aaron about though, things that were still bothering him. Sure they talked for a while in the bedroom before Clara called, Holden requesting their presence on the beach, but now Aaron was napping and tanning in the sand and Robert was sure he had broke his bum from falling off the boogie board a thousand times. Maybe while Holden was a bit distracted though he could try to talk to him.
“Aaron… Aaron,” Robert said softly, gently running a hand over the older lad’s growing belly, just a little sad he refused to take his shirt off because his bump was getting noticeable and he didn’t want anyone asking questions. “Love, wake up.”
“Hm? What?” Aaron asked, slowly picking his head up and squinting his eyes into the bright LA sun. “You okay? What’s wrong?”
“M’fine,” Robert chuckled, rolling on his side and slightly hovering over him. “Just wanna ask you something,” he said quietly.
“Course,” Aaron said, sitting up and pulling his sunglasses down from his hair and resting them on his nose.
Robert bit his lip as he wiped Aaron’s back and rid the sand off his shirt, trying to figure out how he was going to say this. “Was what those articles wrote about you and Sean really all lies? Cause I know the pictures weren’t fake… But was the going out to lunch, the meeting up… Replacing me?” he said just Loud enough for the older lad to hear.
“Of course I wasn’t replacing you,” Aaron said like that was a ridicuAarons question. “I mean, yeah we went to lunch maybe twice but I swear the third time we ran into each other on the street… Don’t pay any mind to the pictures, if his hand was on me it was just to calm me down, it wasn’t like we were flirting or anything.”
“You weren’t flirting but I’m sure he was,” Robert muttered. “M’just not comfortable with you hanging out with him… He is your ex after all.”
“Understandable,” Aaron said quietly as he nodded at Robert. “I won’t see him anymore love, promise,” he said, offering him a small smile before pecking his lips and laying back down in the sand.
Robert watched as the older lad laid back down, something still nagging at him, a question he’s been wondering about for months now. “Did you really not sleep with him?” he barely whispered.
Aaron slowly turned his head to look at Robert, carefully sitting up and pulling his sunglasses off. “I didn’t,” he said, not meeting the younger lad’s eyes. “We… We tried a couple times but I couldn’t.”
“What do you mean tried?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, trying his hardest not to get mad at Aaron for not telling him the whole truth when he asked the first time.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth before rubbing his hands over his face and trying to not look back at Robert’s small glare. “He was uhm… He was ya know, like prepping me and uh, trying to uhm, well he was putting the condom on but every time he was about to push in I just couldn’t, it wasn’t right… He just… He wasn’t you.”
Robert just kept his eyes on the older lad, saw how nervous and scared he was that he would be mad. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
Robert had to stop himself from shaking his head, had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean. “I feel like you don’t sometimes,” he said quietly. “You see what a tabloid publishes or hear the latest rumors and you don’t even ask me if they’re true, you just assume they are and attack… That’s not trust.”
Aaron looked right back at the younger lad, nodding before letting out a deep breath and shifting his gaze to the sand. “It’s hard for me Robert, and it’s not you, I swear it isn’t…” he said, reaching for the green eyed lad’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Please believe me when I say that I trust you more than anyone in this entire world I’m just … I’m so sorry about saying anything about cheating, I really am…”
Robert saw Aaron meant it, and he gets it, he really does. The older lad has a million and one reasons for having trust issues, his mum, Pete, him, it’s not hard to figure out why Aaron is the way he is. He just wished after all this time Aaron would believe him, would trust him. But after everything that’s happened to him Robert wasn’t sure how long it would take.
“Love,” Aaron said softly, giving his hand another squeeze. “I-”
“I know Aaron,” Robert stopped him. “You trust me as much as you can,” he said, offering the older lad a small smile. “We’ll get back to where were.”
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over at Robert, almost wanting to scream how much he trusted Robert, how sorry he was for making him feel the way he does. He’ll just have to tell him everyday, make him know exactly what’s going through his head and Robert will have to do the same with him. It always came back to the communication with them, but this time Aaron is determined for it not to get in the way of them.
“I love you.”
Robert picked his head up, his eyes immediately finding Aaron’s and smiling softly back at him. “I love you too.”
“Papa! Daddy!! Come on!!” Holden yelled, running until he smashed into his papa, hugging him tightly around his neck. “The water is so so nice and Clara can’t throw me in the water, so come on!!”
“You’ve been throwing him in the water?” Aaron asked wide eyed.
“Clara catches him and makes sure his little head pops up, he’s fine,” Robert said, blowing a raspberry on the 4 year old’s cheek before standing up with him. “Coming Aaron?”
Aaron glanced towards the water as he bit his lip and played with the hem of his shirt. He knew people would notice his belly, it not so obviously went over the band of his shorts and he couldn’t explain weight gain like this in such a short period of time.
“You look amazing love, c’mon,” Robert said softly, placing Holden down and offering the older lad a hand up. “Anyone tries to ask questions or bug us we’ll have Paul tackle them,” he chuckled, earning a head nod from his bodyguard.
“Please don’t tackle them,” Aaron said quickly, earn a Loud laugh from the large man. And then of course he realized Robert was kidding.
He was still a bit hesitant about taking his shirt off as people were already staring at them but he also really wanted to go in the water and actually play with his son and boyfriend. So he hesitantly pulled his shirt over his head, looked around to see if anyone was watching him before taking Robert’s offered hand and getting up.
“Gorgeous,” Robert said softly, kissing the older lad and gently running a hand over his growing stomach.
“Yeah, yeah, you very pretty daddy, now let’s go!” Holden, tugging on both his fathers hands and dragging them to the ocean.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he looked down at his son and then almost had to hold back a groan when he saw Robert wink at him. He wasn’t so sure they would be saying how nice he looked in 6 months when he was really fat and cranky and moody, but for now he’ll take the compliments.
*~*
Aaron carefully tossed and turned on the bed, trying his hardest not to wake Robert as he got comfortable. He hasn’t been able to fall asleep since they got into bed nearly four hours ago, but Aaron figured it was because there was something nagging at him.
He wanted to wake Robert, wanted to tell him something but it was nearly 3 am. Well the younger lad has woken him up at this time too many times to count so maybe Aaron could do it to him this once.
“R… Love?” he asked quietly, rubbing a gentle hand over the younger lad’s bare chest.
Robert cracked his eyes open, just barely picking his head up and looking to Aaron. “What’s wrong? You okay?”
“Yeah, m’fine,” Aaron said softly, resting himself on the curly haired lad’s chest. “I just… Something's been bothering me.”
“What is it Aaron?” Robert asked, nervous the older lad felt sick or was in pain.
Aaron opened his mouth, the words ready and wanting to come out but for some reason it took him a minute to find his voice. “I’m sorry I lied to you about Sean,” he barely whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole truth the first time…”
Robert looked at him for a second, biting his lip and giving Aaron a small nod before pulling him into his side. “... Do you think we’ll ever get back to how we were?” he asked, not even sure if the older lad heard him in the silent room.
Aaron kept his eyes locked on Robert, himself thinking about this question too many times to count but too scared to ask, to bring it up. “No I don’t…” he said, making the younger lad go still under him. “Robert we’re not the same people we were 6 years ago… I don’t think we’ll get back to how we were, I think this time around we could be better. We just- we have to-”
“You have to trust me,” Robert stopped him. “I need you to trust me and I need to communicate with you.”
“That’s right,” Aaron said quietly, nodding at the younger lad. “I love you R… We may be different people now but that’s one thing that has never changed.”
“I love you too… Always have, always will,” Robert whispered into the older lad’s hair, rubbing a gentle hand over his growing bump and pulling him in impossibly closer.
Just at that Aaron felt like he could breathe since they got into bed. The two of them can make this work, he knew they could. It was just going to take a little work.
*~*
Aaron shuffled down the hall, his bare feet hitting the cool wooden floors. He swears he will never get used to how nice LA is all the time, he can actually walk around the house in just his briefs and not be freezing, he absolutely loves it.
Not only could Aaron walk around in only his briefs but when he woke up this morning all he wanted to do was look at houses, so that’s what he did. Robert wasn’t in the bed when he woke up so Aaron just scrolled through by himself on his Ipad but when he found the perfect house he nearly jumped out of bed and started searching the large house for the younger lad.
“Robert!!” he yelled, as he carefully and quickly made his way down the stairs and towards the living room, hearing the piano playing. “R you have to see this house, it’s-”
Aaron stopped himself, going completely still as he saw Robert sitting at the piano and Sam Smith standing next to him.
“Aaron, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” the dark haired man smiled at him, offering him his hand.
Aaron doesn’t know what noise came out of him, some kind of squeak as he hid his baby bump behind his Ipad and shakily shook Sam’s hand. “U-uhm yeah, yeah, nice to uhm, nice to meet you.”
At that Sam’s smile only widened, giving Aaron’s hand a gentle squeeze and glancing back at Robert. “R you never told me just how adorable he is,” he said, looking the blue eyed lad up and down.
“Both of you stop it, right now,” Robert said, seeing the two eye each other. “Sam either back up from him or get out.”
“Relax love, he’s okay.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he saw Aaron grinning back at Sam so he took it upon himself to reach for the dark haired man and pull him away from his boyfriend. “What do you need Aaron? You said something about a house.”
“Oh uhm, yeah,” Aaron said sheepishly, passing the younger lad the Ipad and trying to not feel self conscious as he stood there in front of Sam in just his briefs. “It’s beautiful R, right outside of London, not too far from the school and we can even put a music or recording room in there for you.”
Robert scrolled through the pictures, a smile coming over him as he saw more and more of the house. “We’ll set up an appointment for as soon as I get back home to see it.”
“Great,” Aaron said happily, taking the Ipad back from Robert. “So uhm what’re you guys doing?”
“Working,” Robert said, needing to remind Sam of that as he caught the older lad staring at his boyfriend. “Why don’t you wake up R and head down to the beach? Or ask him if he wants to kick the football out back?” he suggested.
“What’re you guys working on?” Aaron asked, walking towards Robert and peering over his shoulder.
“Your boy here is helping me finally finish my album.”
Aaron hummed, giving his boyfriend’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he scDianed over the music. He recognized the songs on the piano from when he and Robert first reconnected, after the first time they kissed in years and Aaron basically ran away. He always had such a way with words, making poetry before he wrote the music.
“Amazing love, like always,” Aaron said softly, kissing his boyfriend’s hair before rubbing his back. “I suppose I’ll let you two get back to it then.”
“Oh you don’t have to Aaron, it’s-”
“Nope, it’s okay,” Robert said, stopping Sam. “Go have fun with R, I’ll catch up with you two when we’re done.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly before winking at the younger lad and offering Sam a small smile. And even if he saw Robert glare at the dark haired man at least Aaron knew things were getting better. Their small conversations and all of their problems coming out on the table were slowly getting them back to normal, and making Robert feel like himself again. They were going to be okay, Aaron knew they would be.
*~*
“Papa when we move do Addi and Rob get they own room?” Holden asked, scooping up some more sand and pouring it on his father’s chest.
“There will be enough rooms where they could,” Robert laughed. “But I think we’ll just keep those as guest rooms and save one for your new sibling.”
Just at the mention of his new brother or sister Holden’s smiled grew as he dug further into the sand. “I can’t wait for the baby,” he said softly. “Cause I gonna be a big brother and that mean me and baby can play all the time.”
“It’s exciting, isn’t it?”
Holden hummed and nodded happily as he pat the sand on his papa’s chest. “Are you gonna be home when baby born?”
“Of course,” Robert said, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked over at the 4 year old. “I’m gonna be home in another month.”
“Well I no know when the baby come,” Holden shrugged, only seeing his daddy’s belly getting a bit bigger and knowing his sibling is growing in there.
“The baby is coming in another 6 months, he or she still has to grow for a bit, but I’ll definitely be home.”
“Good,” Holden said happily, smiling down at his father.
Robert offered his son a small grin back as he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him a bit closer. He wished Aaron was here with them, that the older lad wasn’t napping back at the house so he could hear what Robert had to say. Of course he’s told Aaron this maybe a thousand times, repeated it to him over and over again and probably will for a while.
“Buddy I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you for the past couple months… I’m sorry I’ve been away,” he barely whispered, unable to meet his son’s eyes.
“What you talkin about papa?” Holden asked confused. “I know you busy cause this you job, but you there for me, it okay.”
Robert so badly wanted to say it wasn’t okay, tell his son how awful he felt about basically leaving him and Aaron behind. But just like Aaron has Holden would tell him it’s okay, that he hasn’t done anything wrong, when in fact Robert felt like he’s done everything wrong.
“I really love you buddy, you know that?”
“Of course,” Holden scoffed, making a small smile come to his papa. “I love you too,” he said, dipping his head and kissing his father’s hair. “And daddy and baby love you lots too.”
Robert bit back a small laugh as he felt the 4 year old patting his hair and saw him grinning down at him. He couldn’t even think about how lucky he was to have Holden and Aaron, to hear them say over and over again how much they loved him, how they weren’t mad at him. Having them here at all while he was in LA was amazing, even if it was for a short time. For the first time in what seemed like forever he felt normal, and hopefully he could keep it this way.
Notes:
Sorry for being a bit late with this chapter, I just didn't have wifi for about a week and couldn't get to my docs. Leave comments, give kudos, share opinions, thanks !! xx
Chapter 18
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Aaron I can’t see the screen, move it more to the right.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he switched the camera facing him on his phone to the front camera so Robert could see the ultrasound screen. “There you go love,” he said softly. “You see how big the baby got?”
Robert let out a shaky breath as he nodded to himself and tried to hold back his widening smile. “That’s our baby Aaron…” he barely managed out.
“Yeah love, that’s our baby,” Aaron said through his own grin.
Robert was almost scared that if he kept smiling the way he was his face would split. It wasn’t even a week ago that Aaron and Holden were with him in LA, where he saw the older lad and his growing belly. But now, actually seeing the baby again was amazing to him. How much the baby has grown from when he first saw him or her at just 2 months old, and then now at 4 and a half months old.
“When do we find out of it’s a boy or girl?”
“No, no, not until you’re home, I want you here,” Aaron said, turning the camera back on him.
Robert bit his lip but nodded anyway, the waiting to find out if they were having a boy or girl has been killing him, but he wanted to be home too when they find out. He’d be home in just three weeks though, he could last that long.
“Everything is looking great here,” Heather said happily, moving the wand over Aaron’s stomach. “And if you boys want I can write what you two will be having in a card and when Robert comes home you can open it together.”
“Please,” Robert said without hesitance.
Aaron laughed to himself and nodded at Heather, nearly jumping on the examination table from how excited he was. Just three more weeks and he and Robert would know, could start thinking about names or even go shopping for their little boy or girl.
“Aaron if you open it without me I swear to God-”
“R I won’t, I promise,” Aaron stopped him, knowing he would have to give the envelope to Ross or Pete just so he won’t torture himself.
Robert hummed, eyeing his boyfriend for a second as he pursed his lips. Aaron was going to have to do everything in his power not to peek at the envelope, he only hoped the older lad would keep his promise.
Aaron thanked Heather as she passed him the envelope and began to wipe off his stomach.
“So I will see you in another two months alright? Remember to take your vitamins and if you’re tired rest. Don’t be your stubborn little self, sit down every now and then,” Heather said, eyeing Aaron playfully and earning a sheepish laugh from him.
“Don’t worry doc, I got’em,” Robert said, smiling at the older lad. “Three more weeks love.”
“Three more weeks,” Aaron breathed out.
He knew they could do that. Three weeks was nothing compared to what they’ve been through these past couple months. This past week alone in LA did them more than some good. Just at looking at Robert through the screen Aaron could see how much better he was doing. But after he said goodbye to Heather and was headed towards his car did he actually ask the younger lad.
“How’re you doing love? Feeling okay?”
“M’good,” Robert said happily, watching his boyfriend get into his car. “I have a show tonight and then right after I’m hopping on a plane.”
“Well make sure you get some rest then,” Aaron said softly.
“Of course,” Robert rolled his eyes playfully. “What about you? How is everything back home?”
Aaron bit his lip as he shrugged and let out a quiet breath. “I have paps following my every move, but other than that, good.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on?”
He could hear the worry in Robert’s voice, could see it written all over his face as he looked at him nervously. “It’s that stupid baby watch thing… And they’re asking for updates on you, how you’re doing and about that whole “cheating” thing.”
Robert rubbed a frustrated hand over his face, hating that they were talking to Aaron at all, hating that they were following and bothering him. “I’ll have Clara send out news of how I’m doing, deny all rumors of cheating and demand apologies from those who wrote that I was or you were,” he said quietly. “As for them following you around will you please agree to going out with a bodyguard?”
Aaron bit his lip as he thought about it. Robert has wanted him to start going out with a bodyguard when they first started dating again, and with the paps now being worse than ever Aaron needed to consider it.
“Isn’t there like something you can do to keep them away?”
“Love I… I’ve done everything I can, I-... I don’t- I can’t-”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Aaron said softly, not wanting Robert to worry. “If it makes you feel better I’ll start going out with a bodyguard.”
Robert nodded, it being almost a year since he first tried to convince Aaron to have a bodyguard. “I’ll get one of the guys you know to go out with you from now on… It’ll only be until I come home, I promise.”
“You want to keep us safe love, it’s okay,” Aaron said, offering the younger lad a small smile. “But what do I do about them asking about the baby? I can’t tell the media yet can I, and without you here I don’t want to to.”
“No, don’t say anything, just ignore them,” Robert shook his head. “When I get home we can tell everyone.”
Aaron’ss grin widened as he saw how happy Robert was. He knew how badly his boyfriend wanted to tell everyone, to share the news and basically scream at everyone he met that they were having another baby.
“Are you really okay though? Are you feeling alright? Like any pain or-”
“I’m fine R,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “Ankles are a little swollen, back is just a little sore but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Robert gave Aaron that face like he didn’t believe him, but he was thousands of miles away and couldn’t help his boyfriend the way he wanted to. “I can’t wait to come home.”
“And I can’t wait for you to come home,” Aaron smiled at him. “But right now I want you to get some rest, you look tired and worried, and I don’t want you to be those things.”
Robert rolled his eyes fondly but nodded anyway, almost ready to collapse from how tired he was. “Alright, I’ll talk to you later love. Tell R I miss him and that I love him. I’ll try to call before bed.”
“Of course,” Aaron said softly. “I love you, talk to you later.”
Robert whispered his “I love you’s” back, smiling back at his boyfriend and giving him a small wave before the computer went black.
*~*
Aaron pulled his sweater over his head, fiddling with the hem of it as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was more than grateful it was October and that he could wear loose clothes like this and he could somewhat hide his growing belly.
Already at 4 months along he was a decent size, bigger than he remembers being with Holden. He wasn’t worried though, Aaron was sure that if something was wrong then Heather would’ve told him. Maybe this baby was just going to be bigger than Holden was, that’s all.
“R? You all dressed buddy? I was thinking we could make waffles for breakfast!” he called out, making his way out of his bedroom and to his son’s room.
“With sausage!!” Holden called back, running out of his room excitedly and nearly crashing into his daddy.
Aaron stumbled back as he felt the 4 year old on him, sending him a playful pointed look before ruffling his hair. “Alright you little king, let’s go make some breakfast.”
Holden smiled happily up at his daddy before scurrying down the stairs, Addi following closely behind him as he skipped into the living room.
Aaron shook his head and smiled fondly to himself as he watched his son, always so amazed by how happy he was all the time. And he knew just with him making what Holden wanted for breakfast the 4 year old would grow that much happier.
“Daddy!! Papa is calling!!” Holden screamed, running into the kitchen and showing his father the ringing phone.
“Well then answer it,” Aaron laughed, mixing the waffle batter together and trying to get everything situated.
Holden answered the facetime call excitedly, not giving his papa a chance to even smile at him before he screamed his hello’s. “Papa daddy making breakfast, see?!”
“I do see,” Robert laughed, waving to his boyfriend and getting a wink back from the older lad. “How are you love? You look exceptionally handsome this morning.”
“Always quite the charmer,” Aaron said, smiling back at him. “And I’m doing great, day is off to a good start. Your son is being his demanding little self, but what else can you expect?”
Holden’s jaw drop as he heard his daddy teasing him and his papa laughing. “And you being you sassy big self, be nice,” he said, pointing a little finger at his daddy and poking his belly.
“Oh stop it you two,” Robert rolled his eyes playfully. “How are you R? Has daddy been nice to you while I’ve been gone?” he asked, glancing over at the older lad and smiling at him.
“He’s been okay I guess,” Holden said jokingly, earning a gentle jab from his daddy as he continued making their breakfast. “Last night he show me a song and say that it makes him think of you!”
“Oh?” Robert perked up.
Aaron glanced over at the camera and shrugged sheepishly as he nodded. “Remember when we first started dating all those years back? It was around this time,” he said, earning a soft smile and hum from the younger lad. “Well the song I sang to him makes me think of that time we were walking along the river and the trees were that beautiful orange, yellow and red color.”
“I remember,” Robert said quietly, his smile only widening as he thought back to it. “What song is it?”
“Somewhere Only We Know.”
“I don’t think I know that one. Sing a bit of it.”
Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing very well that Robert has heard that song a thousand times, the younger lad just wanted him to sing. He swears his boyfriend will do anything to get him to sing, but this once Aaron thought he could entertain him so he sang a bit of it.
“Oh yeah, I know that one,” Robert said, winking at the older lad and hearing him scoff.
“Papa where are you?” Holden asked confused, seeing his father in a seemingly dark place but there was a bright light shining on him.
“I’m just hanging out with a couple friends. You guys wanna say hi?”
“Yeah!!” Holden said excitedly, making sure the camera was on both him and his daddy so they could both say hi.
“Alright everyone, say hi!”
Aaron felt himself freeze as all of a sudden there was a deafening cheer and he saw his boyfriend turn his camera to a stadium full of people.
“You guys are on the big screen!” Robert said through a Loud laugh as he saw his terrified boyfriend and surprised son. “You have no clue how hard it was to get them all to quiet down!!” he yelled over the screaming crowd.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, his face going hot and he was sure he was bright red as he saw the thousands of people waving and yelling.
“Hello!!” Holden said happily. “I’m Holden Edward Dingle! How are you?!”
Robert rolled his eyes fondly, that being what the 4 year old said every time he used to join him on stage. It always made the crowd go crazy, and it was no exception even though Holden wasn’t here with him but on the screen.
“You okay love?” he asked teasingly, seeing his boyfriend’s startled face.
Aaron was sure the only noise that came out of him was a small squeak before he quickly turned away and decided that making breakfast was the most interesting thing.
“Don’t mind him everyone, he gets scared,” Holden waved off, hearing Loud laughter come from his papa’s end.
Robert muffled his laughter into his hand before he focused the camera back on him. “Alright buddy I’d rather not give daddy a heart attack and I have a show to get back to so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay!” Holden said happily. “Bye papa, I love you!”
“Love you too big guy,” Robert said through a soft smile. “Aaron, babe,” he said, wanting to older lad’s attention, and when his boyfriend nervously glanced at him his smile only widened. “I love you.”
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold off his own grin as he nodded back at his boyfriend. “Love you too.”
Robert waved once more to the two before saying his final goodbye’s and hanging up the phone, just to reach for his microphone and guitar a second later to continue on with his show.
*~*
“Where is he?” Holden groaned, looking all around for his papa.
“He’ll be here any second buddy,” Aaron said, himself searching all over for the younger lad.
Holden jumped excitedly in place, just the thought of seeing his papa made him grow happier and happier with each second that passed.
Aaron bit his lip nervously as he looked towards the tunnel where Robert should be coming through. He couldn't believe the younger lad was finally coming home, that the tour was over and they could be a proper family again.
Aaron couldn't even get too excited about the thought though before he heard screaming and yelling coming from the tunnel. He could just barely see Robert, his bodyguards trying to keep paps back as they took pictures of him and shouted their questions. But as soon as the younger lad picked his head up and caught sight of the two of them he didn’t waste a second before smiling widely to himself, passing his bag to Paul and pushing past the paps to run to them.
“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, letting go of his daddy’s hand and sprinting to meet his father.
Robert dropped to his knees as soon as he could reach his son, pulling the 4 year old into his chest and kissed him all over his face. “My boy, look how big you are!” he said, scooping him up and immediately heading to Aaron.
“Hello my love,” Aaron said softly, wrapping his arms around the younger lad and muffling a laugh into his neck as he felt Robert kissing him anywhere he could.
Robert couldn’t even say anything as he squeezed his boys and connected his lips with Aaron’s, everything he misses when he goes away immediately coming back to him as he felt the older lad kissing him back.
“Look at you,” he breathed out, pulling away from Aaron and placing a gentle hand on his stomach. “You look amazing, my God.”
Aaron laughed against his boyfriend as he felt him kissing him again and his hand running softly over his growing belly. He was sure even under his large and loose sweater that Robert could feel how big he’s gotten, how much rounder his stomach is.
“I’m so happy to be home, I missed you both so much,” Robert said, pulling Aaron as close as he could to him and kissing Holden again.
“Miss you too,” Holden mumbled against his papa’s shoulder. “Papa you gotta see Addi, she get so big!”
Robert nodded and chuckled at his son before giving him one more kiss and setting him down. “Well then how about we get home and I can see just how big she is, hm?”
“Yes!!” Holden cheered, immediately taking his papa’s hand and nearly dragging him towards the doors.
“Paul can you-”
“Already on it R, I’ll follow behind you guys with the bags,” Paul laughed, letting the younger lad go.
Robert called out a “thank you!” before following after his son and reaching for Aaron’s hand. He couldn’t even say how happy he was to be home, to be with his son and boyfriend.
“So now that you’re home how much longer do we have to wait until-”
“We’ll see the house tomorrow and I was thinking that maybe tonight we could open the envelope,” Robert said softly, earning a wide smile from the older lad.
Just at that Aaron had a little skip in his step. He already made an appointment to see the house tomorrow, he was just happy that Robert brought it up first. And the fact that tonight, finally after waiting weeks to find out what they’ll be having they can open the envelope.
“You didn’t peak at it, did you?”
“Of course not!” Aaron said, making Robert laugh and roll his eyes. “Trust me, I wanted to. But I knew I couldn’t, not without you,” he said, kissing the younger lad’s cheek quickly.
Robert hummed to himself, smiling down at Aaron before squeezing his hand gently and following him to his car. It was so different being back in the November chill in England, rather than the warm weather he was so used to, but this was home.
And when Aaron pulled up to the all too familiar house Robert was almost ready to run out, and finally be home. As soon as he walked through the door Addi was jumping on him and licking him, clearly missing him too. Rob was at his feet too, wanting some attention as well but Holden was quick to get his papa’s attention for himself, showing his father all of his school things and all the projects he’s been working on.
“R let your pop rest for a little bit, he’s had a long day,” Aaron said, watching as Holden dragged Robert one way and then another. “Why don’t you let him relax and you can help me with his special dinner?”
Holden groaned but nodded anyways, knowing he had all the time in the world with his papa now that he was home.
“Love you want anything to drink?” Aaron asked as he took out what he needed for dinner and glanced over at the younger lad.
Robert bit his lip as he took a seat on the couch and looked back at Aaron.
“You can have one R, it’s fine,” Aaron said, already heading towards the fridge and reaching for a beer. “As long as you feel alright.”
“Yeah, I’m more than alright,” Robert said softly, smiling at his boyfriend as he walked over to him and passed him the drink.
Aaron hummed, leaning down and pecking his boyfriend’s lips before heading back into the kitchen and getting everything situated so he and Holden could make dinner.
Robert knew as soon as his jet lag wears off it’s going to be him pampering the older lad. That was something he couldn’t wait for, finally being here for Aaron and the baby. He couldn’t wait to look at the house, to go shopping for the baby and decorate the nursery, it’s what Robert has been looking forward to for months now.
Just being here with Aaron and Holden now was everything Robert has been missing. The simple things like eating Aaron’s cooking and hearing his son talk about school, doing the dishes and then tucking Holden in bed. But as soon as they knew the 4 year was asleep Aaron was quick to go to their bedroom and grab the envelope he’s been dying to open for nearly a month now.
“Are you sure you don’t want to open it with Holden?” Robert asked as soon as the older lad came back into the living room, nearly jumping in his seat from how excited he was.
“I want to tell him when we tell everyone else. Ya know, have a little party and everything,” Aaron said happily.
Robert nodded and said a quiet “okay” before smiling at the older lad and pressing his lips to Aaron’s. “Well c’mon then, let’s open it!”
Aaron didn’t need to be told twice before practically ripping open the envelope, trying his hardest not to actually tear the paper inside. But as soon as he had the paper in his hand Robert was quick to look over his shoulder, both of them growing wide smiles as they saw what was written on it.
“Boy!”
“Girl!!”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, looking over to his boyfriend confused. “Love it says boy.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, if possible his smile growing as he shook his head. “Aaron… Look, it-... We’re having a boy and a girl.”
Aaron stared at the paper in his hands, a barely audible “twins” escaping him before he felt Robert lunging at him.
“Aaron twins!! We’re having twins!!” Robert almost screamed into the older lad’s neck, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him all over his face.
Aaron let out an airy laugh as he felt his boyfriend on him, his smile growing wider and wider at the thought. Twins… Him and Robert were actually having twins.
“I love you, I love you so much,” Robert said through his own grin, cupping Aaron’s cheeks and kissing him gently. “Can you believe it Aaron?”
“No,” Aaron chuckled, shaking his head and running a hand over his growing stomach. “But shit I’m so happy.”
“Me too,” Robert breathed out, still a bit in shock that they were having a boy and a girl, that two little babies were on the way. “Just imagine all the cute little clothes we get to buy, and picking out names and the nursery! Oh Aaron, just imagine the nursery!!”
“We have to pick out a house first before we start on a nursery,” Aaron said, reminding his boyfriend of that small detail.
Robert hummed and nodded, muttering a quiet “oh yeah” before laughing to himself. “Well tomorrow we’re seeing the house and then we’ll buy it and start on the nursery!”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly at the younger lad before pecking his lips and giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. He listened to Robert as they climbed the stairs to get to bed and even while they were in bed, going on and on about the nursery and all the clothes and little toys they’ll have to buy. Aaron was almost tempted to hide the baby name book he had open on his bedside table but he couldn’t before his boyfriend found it and started going over all the names the blue eyed lad had highlighted already. And Aaron didn’t mind in the slightest as he listened to Robert list off names, the younger lad’s voice soothing him to sleep as he talked about the babies coming.
*~*
Aaron let out a huff as he sifted through the rack of pants, hating that he had to go further and further back to get to the bigger pairs. One thing he didn’t miss about expecting a baby was the growing belly and swollen ankles, and now with finding out they were having twins Aaron figured he was going to get a bit bigger than he did when he had Holden.
But a second later he was taken out of his thoughts, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket and reaching for it before Aaron saw Robert’s name flashing on the screen. “Hey love.”
“Aaron where are you?”
“Out shopping, why?” Aaron asked, balancing his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he kept looking for pants.
“Babe…” Robert said, clearly rubbing his hand over his face as he breathed into the phone. “Did you not see the news? I told you Clara was putting out a piece about you expecting and confirming everything, people are gonna be all over you.”
Aaron looked around the store before laughing to himself and grabbing a pair of pants to put in his cart. “I didn’t see it cause I just got out of work, but no one is here love, I’m gonna be fine.”
“Aaron the world is freaking out right now, it was only posted like 20 minutes ago! Please, please just come home and you and I can go shopping with a bodyguard tomorrow, I promise.”
“Fine,” Aaron breathed out, not even bothering to look for anymore clothes. “You picked up R from school right?”
“Yeah the little booger is running around with Addi as we speak.”
“Alright well at least get him started on his homework,” Aaron laughed into the phone. “I’ll be home soon though, love you.”
He heard his boyfriend whispers his I love you’s back, no doubt there was a touch of worry in his voice, but Aaron knew he would be fine. Of course the news was big about them expecting a baby, and when they told everyone that it was in fact twins the world would go even crazier. If anything Aaron was more surprised that more people haven’t picked up that he’s pregnant. He was 5 months along after all, and even under his loose sweaters anyone could see he had quite the belly and it couldn’t possibly be just weight gain. The media has been all over him, seen nearly once a week on those gossip shows and baby watch. With the news out and an actual confirmation published though maybe things would calm down just a bit and the paps would be at bay.
“Excuse me Aaron Dingle right?!”
Aaron snapped his head up, having to back up from how close this teenage girl was to him before he slightly nodded at her. “Uh yeah, hi.”
“Hi!!” she said excitedly, smiling widely at the older man.
Aaron bit his lip and looked around the store, grateful that there weren’t many people there. “Uhm so Robert isn’t here, and I’m guessing it’s him you’re looking for, but I was actually on my way out, so-”
“Well I actually saw you and wanted to talk to you!” she said happily. “I heard the news, you know, about the baby, so congrats!!”
“Oh, well thank you,” Aaron said, offering her a small smile. “R and I are really excited, I know he’s been dying to tell every person he’s met. He had to nearly strain himself at all the concerts and not just scream it,” he laughed, almost making the girl in front of him squeal.
“You two are just so cute!! And when you surprised him in LA and sang that song, just ugh! You guys must sing together all the time! You sounded so amazing!”
“Uhm we don’t actually,” Aaron chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “In uni we did all the time cause we were in a choir group together and always got paired together to sing duets, but we haven’t sung together in a long time.”
“Well I thought it was amazing what you did,” she smiled at him.”I know you said you were heading out, probably to avoid people like me, so I’ll let you go then.”
Aaron grinned back at the young girl, her maybe being one of the nicest fans he’s encountered. “You know uhm… If you uh, if you happen to have a twitter and you give me the username I can give it to R, and I’m sure he’d be happy to give you a shoutout or something.”
The girl had basically froze in front of him, her jaw going slack before she looked like she was a second away from crying.
“Okay, alright,” Aaron said quickly, not wanting her to start hyperventilating. “Here uhm, just write it down and I’ll give it to him, it’s okay.”
She shakily took the paper and pen Aaron was passing her, carefully writing down the username and passing everything back to him.
“Are you okay?” Aaron asked carefully, now the girl being strangely quiet.
“I… I-I’m just so happy,” she said, suddenly bursting into tears and covering her face in her hands.
Aaron looked around, opening and closing his mouth as he had no idea what to do. “Well I’m uhm, I’m happy I could help,” he tried.
The girl nodded, trying to wipe her eyes and catch her breath so she could actually talk. “Y-you’re so amazing, I-I-...”
“Hey it’s alright,” Aaron said through a small laugh, hearing her get choked up. “I’ll be sure to tell R how nice you are and how much you love him and his music.”
She didn’t even know what to say, instead all she could do was start crying more. And when she asked Aaron for a picture with him he said of course, and even afterwards giving her a small hug before saying a final goodbye and walking to his car.
That was maybe one of the nicest fans Aaron has run into and he was actually excited to go home and tell Robert about her.
“Rob!” Aaron called out as soon as he stepped foot in the house. “Love, I’m home!”
“Oh good, just in time,” Robert said happily as he met his boyfriend in the foyer. “R c’mon, let’s get our shoes on!”
“Wait, what?” Aaron asked confused.
“Babe we have an appointment to look at the house, did you forget?” Robert asked, helping Holden get his shoes and coat on.
Aaron hummed, saying a quiet “clearly” as he followed the two to Robert’s car. But as they drove through the city and towards the house Aaron told Robert all about the girl he met at the store and it was impossible to see how happy the younger lad was at hearing how nice a fan was to him. And when Robert said that he would make a video for the girl and follow her on Twitter that made Aaron’s own smile grow.
“Papa where are we going?” Holden asked as he looked out the windows, seeing the city disappear and the houses get bigger and bigger.
“We’re going to look at our new house.”
“Possibly our new house,” Aaron laughed, giving the younger lad’s hand a gentle squeeze.
Robert scoffed as he rolled his eyes, knowing they were definitely going to buy it. The pictures online were absolutely beautiful and both him and Aaron already loved it, there was no way they weren’t going to be living in this house by next week. He already put his flat up for sale, started packing and even began organizing some of Aaron’s things so they could be put into boxes.
“I can’t wait to move,” Holden said through a soft smile. “Cause me and Addi gonna run around and Rob has lots more room to sleep.”
“There’s a pool too buddy and a hot tub. How much fun do you think that’ll be?” Robert asked, glancing in the rear view mirror and seeing the 4 year old light up.
Aaron looked over at Robert, giving him a silent message to not get Holden’s hopes up, but even he knew that there was a high probability that they were going to be buying this house.
“And I want the baby’s room right next to mine!” Holden said happily.
“I dunno buddy, there will be a lot of crying and I’m not so sure you’ll want to be near all of that,” Aaron laughed, still preparing himself for twice the amount of crying.
“Well babies are cute right?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Cause if babies cute then I no mind.”
Aaron hummed, not so sure Holden would think of his little siblings as cute when they’ll be crying in the middle of the night. He couldn’t wait to actually tell the 4 year old that they were having twins, that he’s going to have both a little brother and sister.
“Alright boys, here we are,” Robert smiled, pulling up to the gate and pressing in the code that the realtor gave him.
“Whoa, fancy,” Holden breathed out, but as soon as he saw his papa drive close to the house his jaw dropped.
Even Aaron was still in his seat, the massive house, or should he say mansion, even more beautiful than the pictures.
“This must be a £100, this is huge!!” Holden said excitedly, kicking his legs and more than ready to hop out of the car and explore.
“Yeah, try adding a few million on there,” Robert laughed as he got out of the car and unbuckled the 4 year old.
Aaron didn’t even want to know the price of this place, only ever looking at the pictures because if he saw how much it cost he would probably start freaking out and say that it was too much.
“Mr. Sugden, Mr. Dingle, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Mark.”
“Hi!!” Holden said excitedly, stepping front of his papa and shaking the older man’s hand that was offered to his father. “I Mr.Dingle too!”
“Oh, well it’s so nice to meet you too Mr. Dingle,” Mark laughed as he looked down at the toddler. “Charming little one you have here.”
“Yeah, he’s kinda cute,” Robert said teasingly, making Holden scowl at him before he shook Mark’s hand himself. “Please, call me Robert, this is Holden, and Aaron,” he introduced, smiling over at his boyfriend and ruffling his son’s hair.
Aaron said a quiet “hi” as he shook the older man’s hand as well, in return getting a congratulations on the baby, of course immediately making Robert light up and Aaron laugh. “Thank you, clearly we’re very excited.”
“Hopefully excited enough to buy a house huh?” Mark chuckled. “Shall we get started?”
“Please,” Robert said happily, scooping Holden up and following the older man towards the front door.
Aaron followed them inside, listening to Mark as he started talking about the details in the house and just at hearing how many bedrooms there were he almost choked on his spit. But actually walking around the large home and seeing it in person and not online his breath fell short.
Holden was already trying to run everywhere and he was thankful that Robert was holding onto him so he wouldn’t break anything. The 4 year old clearly loved the place, and Robert was already over the moon about it. And of course Aaron had to hold everything in him to not jump around and scream they would take it, they still had to look at the entire house after all. But just at the foyer, living room and kitchen Aaron was sold.
“Look at my playroom!!” Holden screamed, managing to wiggle out of his papa’s arms and gawk at the room. “Do I get this?! Is it mine?!”
“You do buddy,” Robert laughed, watching his son throw himself into a bean bag chair and stare at the large ping pong table in the room.
“The furniture comes with the house?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Robert bit his lip as he looked over to Mark, the older lad smiling at him before leaving the room and giving them some privacy. “Well uhm… See, the thing is, uhm…”
“... What did you do?”
Robert was a bit lost for words, opening and closing his mouth but the longer his boyfriend looked at him the more worried he could see him getting. “I uh… I may have bought the uhm, bought the house already… And got a decorator to furnish it and everything for us.”
Aaron just looked at Robert, his entire body going still, breathing stopping and jaw dropping at what the younger lad had told him. “You… You bought a- a house, an actual… Oh my God…”
“Babe,” Robert said quietly, taking a careful step towards his boyfriend to stop him from pacing. “It’s okay, you love the house, I love it, R loves it, there’s no reason to freak out.”
“Robert a house!! You bought us a house!!”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, a small laugh escaping as he saw that Aaron was excited, that he was more than happy and not furious with him. “You’re excited?” He asked, not believing it.
“Excited? Robert I’m fucking ecstatic!!” Aaron said, rushing towards the younger lad and crushing him in a hug.
“Daddy!! Bad word!!” Holden scolded.
“R pop bought us a house! This is our house!!” Aaron said, almost screaming as he gave Robert another squeeze and started kissing him all over his face. “Holy shit, I love you, this is so amazing.”
Robert smiled against the older lad, more than relieved that he wasn’t mad. “Don’t get upset but I already moved my stuff from my flat in here too.”
“The bedroom! Oh we have to go see the bedrooms and the music room, c’mon!” Aaron said, not even fazed by what Robert said before he almost tugged him out of the playroom and to the stairs.
Robert laughed to himself as he felt Aaron pulling on his hand and as he walked around the house, their house with his boyfriend and son he saw how much the two loved it. From the pool, to every single room and all the frunisher Aaron and Holden were crazy over it. But there was one room Robert had the decorator leave bare, one room he wanted to plan with the older lad.
“Aaron,” Robert said softly, pulling his boyfriend to the only room he hasn’t shown him yet. “This is going to be the twins’ room.”
And it was almost immediate Aaron’s face lit up, even at the bare room just at all of the possibilities they could do to it, at the thought of the twins he couldn’t stop his widening smile.
“I love you,” Aaron barely whispered, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend and pulling him into his side.
Robert looked down at Aaron, seeing his him just look around the empty room, and at the thought that in just 4 months there would be two more little people with them, joining their family, Robert didn’t fight his own grin.
“I love you too.”
*~*
“Aaron what the hell?” Ross breathed out as he followed his best mate up the stairs. “Where can I find my own hot popstar who will buy a house for me?”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he laughed to himself and led Ross to the nursery. “I’m sure there will be parties R and I will be going to, you can join us and try to find a popstar.”
“I will definitely be taking you up on that,” Ross said, clapping the older lad on the back.
Aaron smiled back at him before showing his best mate the still bare nursery. “So this is the only room in the house that R and I haven’t done anything with yet, but he and I talked about it and we would love it if you could paint it or come up with a mural or something.”
“Yeah, of course mate,” Ross said happily. “Any ideas you boys have or a theme? And also, knowing the gender will really help.”
“Oh no, you can’t get it out of me that easily,” Aaron chuckled. “You’ll have to wait another two hours like everyone else. Luckily though that gives you just enough time to sit in here and start sketching out what you’ll be painting.”
“Fine,” Ross muttered, not sure if he could actually wait until the party to find out. “I’ll get started in here and you can go help R prepare for the mob that’s going to show up.”
“Or nap,” Aaron shrugged, that seeming like a better option. “But I’ll get you when everyone starts showing up. Happy sketching!”
Aaron heard the younger lad call out a “thanks!” before he left the room and went off to find Robert. He knew his boyfriend has been scrambling all day, cleaning the entire house, cooking, trying to keep Holden entertained, and begging Aaron to sit down and relax. Really though, Aaron wanted to help. It was almost impossible to contain his excitement at finally telling everyone what they were going to be having, and he wanted to help Robert prepare for it all.
“Aaron what are you doing? I want you to lay down before everyone comes over,” Robert breathed out as he saw his boyfriend try to help in the kitchen.
“Love I can finish cooking in here, I feel more than fine, relax,” Aaron rolled his eyes playfully.
“Well do you need anything?” Robert asked, coming up behind the older lad and rubbing his back. “Tea or are you hungry?”
Aaron nearly melted under Robert’s touch, the way his hands completely relaxed his tense muscles. “Babe you can’t offer and do all of these things, you’re gonna kill me,” he teased.
“Oh, really?” Robert hummed, pressing his thumbs into the older lad’s lower back, making him lean into touch that much more. “See your stressed, I just want you to relax.”
“M’not stressed,” Aaron mumbled. “You’re just really good at massages.”
Robert rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder, letting out a small laugh and kissing him at the nape of his neck before slowly pulling away. “How about after everyone leaves and R is in bed you and I break in that new hot tub?”
At hearing that Aaron groaned, still being settled in the house for almost two weeks not used to everything they had. “Sounds perfect,” he said, smiling back at the younger lad and tipping his head back to capture his boyfriend’s lips.
“Stop kissing and help me!!” Holden said, crashing into his papa and pulling on his arm.
Robert felt the wind get knocked out of him, but that didn’t stop him from laughing at the 4 year old. “Alright handsome boy c’mere.”
“See I buttoned the buttons all by myself but the-the clips too hard, I can’t reach it,” Holden said, stumbling over his words as he showed his papa his suspenders. “You need to get dress up too, both you need to look handsome like me.”
Robert scoffed as he rolled his eyes, hearing Aaron laugh as well. “What you don’t like my band tee?” he asked jokingly. “Don’t worry big guy, daddy and I will be sure to dress up.”
“Good! It a party after all! We need to look nice!!”
“And we will,” Aaron said, smiling down at the 4 year old. “Uncle Ross is in the nursery, why don’t you go up there and maybe give him some ideas as to how to paint it?”
Holden’s face lit up, saying a quick and excited “okay!!” before scurrying off towards the stairs.
“I’m about to banish you upstairs too, c’mon love,” Robert said, already pulling on Aaron’s hand and away from the stove so he would stop cooking.
“What? No, no, I wanna help, please R,” he almost begged.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Robert said, already leading Aaron to the stairs. “You’re going to take a nice, long and relaxing bath while I finish everything up and make sure it’s all done before everyone shows up.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath, that sounding too tempting to pass up, so he didn’t fight his boyfriend on it. Instead he let Robert lead them to their room, fill up their massive tub with bubbles and hot water and even light candles.
“You’re too good to me,” he mumbled once he got in the tub, sinking lower and lower into the water.
“I try sometimes,” Robert said quietly, smiling down at the older lad as he ran a hand over his boyfriend’s growing belly. “You feel okay?”
“I feel amazing,” Aaron said, placing a hand over Robert’s that laid on his stomach.
“Good,” Robert said softly, kissing Aaron’s lips sweetly before standing up. “I’ll bring you some tea in a few minutes, alright?”
Aaron hummed, not sure if he would ever get used to Robert pampering him like this. But when their family and friends come over in a few hours he was sure all hell was going to break loose, especially when they tell everyone about the twins. For now though Aaron could at least enjoy his quiet time and his boyfriend treating him like an absolute king.
*~*
“Addi! No jumping on Ed, he old!!”
“Holden!” Ed said through a Loud laugh as he made his way inside the house. “I am not old you little booger! I’m only 29!!”
Holden furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the ginger haired man, him looking much older than that. “Oh… Sorry,” he giggled.
Ed gave the 4 year old a playful pointed look before petting Addi and looking around the large home. He had to hand it to Robert, buying this place for Aaron and Holden must’ve been one hell of a surprise.
“Come on! Everyone in the living room!!” Holden said, pulling on Ed’s hand.
“Hey!! There he is!” Robert said happily as he saw Ed come into the room and almost bounded for his best mate.
“Someones excited huh?” Ed teased as he hugged the younger lad back.
“How can I not be?! I finally get to tell all you guys what we’re having!”
Ed couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him as he saw Robert nearly bouncing in his shoes, but if he was being honest he was just as excited as his best mate. He’s been waiting for forever to finally find out and from the looks of it everyone else in the room was just as eager to learn the sex of the baby.
“Well I can’t wait mate,” Ed said, clapping him on the back. “I’m gonna go say hi to Aaron and your family, be right back.”
Robert nodded at him, seeing Ed walk over to Aaron and Charlie and as he looked around the room he was more than happy to see everyone together. All of his family had driven down and his mates that were in town and able to make it came by. Of course those mates were famous as well and when they showed up Aaron was just a bit startled but when Sam came by all the older lad did was blush. And Robert thought everyone was here when Ed showed up but it was only a second later he heard the doorbell go off.
When he reached the door though and pulled it open his smile almost immediately fell, looking between the two and feeling his jaw clench. “Who invited you?” he asked, eyeing Sean as he stood there like nothing was wrong.
“Aaron did,” Pete scoffed like Robert should’ve known this as he pushed past the younger lad and made his way inside.
Robert opened and closed his mouth as he watched the two walk through the home, Aaron never mentioning that Sean was coming over. The older lad promised him that he told Sean to stay away, that he would never talk to him again and yet here he was at their doorstep. But instead of starting anything he let out an aggravated breath and made his way into the kitchen to grab a beer. Robert knew he would have to talk to Aaron about this later but right now he decided to just ignore them and remember the good news he couldn’t wait to share with everyone.
“Aaron, hey!!” Pete said happily, immediately heading to his best mate and wrapping his arms around him.
“Pete hi!” Aaron said excitedly, hugging the younger lad back. But then he saw Sean behind him and his smile slowly fell. “And uhm Sean, hey,” he said quietly, looking between the two.
“Sorry Soph couldn’t make it, I know she really wanted to come but it’s her brother’s birthday and her family is going out,” Pete said, offering his best mate a small smile.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Aaron said, grinning back at him before glancing over to Sean and biting his lip. “If you’ll uhm, excuse me a second, I just need to talk to R real quick. Make yourself comfortable, look around the new place if you’d like.”
He saw Pete nod back at him before looking around the living room so he made his way over to Robert, gently placing a hand on the younger lad’s back. “Excuse me, I’m sorry. R can I talk to you?” Aaron asked, pulling the younger lad away from Diane and Jack.
“Course,” Robert said, smiling at his mum before following Aaron into the kitchen. “You ask me in here to explain why you didn’t tell me you invited Sean?”
“What?” Aaron asked confused. “I wanted to tell you that I had no idea Sean was going to show up... I told him I couldn’t and didn’t want to see or talk to him, I swear R I don’t know why he’s here.”
Robert looked at the older lad for a second, it clear Aaron was telling the truth and if possible he only felt more hatred towards Pete. “I swear I’m going to kill him… Who the hell does he think he is? This is bullshit, this day is for our family and friends and he comes along and pulls this?”
Aaron could see Robert was straining himself not to scream, trying his hardest not to just go into the living room and drag the two out of the house. “I can ask them to leave, it’s fine,” he said quietly.
Robert shook his head, running a frustrated hand over his face and trying to calm down. “Whatever, they’re here now, he’s your mate, I don’t care,” he muttered.
“Robert you do care, and it’s okay, I can tell them-”
“It’s fine,” Robert said seriously, not wanting there to be any drama. “We’re still going to have an amazing night,” he said, offering the older lad a small smile.
Aaron bit his lip and let out a quiet breath, knowing Robert was still a bit upset but he grinned back at his boyfriend anyway. “Sam was asking for a tour of the place earlier, I think I’ll give him one now,” he said, pecking the younger lad’s lips and heading back to the living room.
“Stay out of the bedrooms,” Robert said jokingly, earning a scoff from the older lad as he followed after him.
And as he watched Aaron walk up to Sam he made sure to eye his mate before they went off on their tour.
“So R when is this announcement being made? I know someone who’s getting impatient and I’m not just talking about your mum,” Jack said, the waiting to find out if they were having a boy or girl killing him.
“Oh c’mon Jack you know I love to torture you,” Robert teased. “But probably when Aaron gets back with Sam. He just went off to show him the house.”
Jack hummed, himself loving the house the more he saw of it. “I have to say that pool house you have out back is beautiful. Don’t be surprised if your mum and I move in when summer comes around.”
“I’m sure Aaron and I would be more than okay with that,” Robert said, offering the older man a soft smile. “I really missed you guys while I was on tour and now that I’m home I might keep you hostage.”
Jack let out a Loud laugh, waving Diane over so she would join them. “You hear that love? Robert is gonna keep us here in this big ole beautiful house of his, isn’t that a shame?”
“Do I get to be kidnapped too?” Charlie asked, earning a playful smack in the arm from Vic.
“Sorry mate, Ed and I already have dibs on the spare rooms,” Adam said before sending a teasing wink to Charlie and taking a swig of his beer.
“Well you can’t have dibs on all of them!!”
Robert couldn’t stop his laughter as almost everyone in the room was “arguing” over who gets to stay at the house and whose room was whose. Even his mates who had their own mansions, well actually multiple mansions and even a few boats were playfully bickering over it.
“None of you get room cause that Addi and Rob’s room!!” Holden said very seriously, adamant about getting his pets their own space.
Everyone looked at the 4 year old, muffling laughs into their hands as they saw the look on his face.
“I might move in here too mate, especially if that means I get to hang out with this one all day,” Sam said, coming back into the room with Aaron.
“Alright, and you can get away from him now,” Robert said, pulling on Aaron’s arm and tucking him into his side.
“Aaron’s back, time for the announcement!!” Jack quickly said, unable to be left in the dark for another second.
Robert let out a quiet laugh, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend before sipping at his beer and nodding. “You ready love?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Aaron said softly back, smiling up at the younger lad.
“Alright,” Robert breathed out, trying to contain himself as he thought about what they were about to do. “If I could have everyone’s attention!”
And it was immediate the room went silent, all of them eager to hear the news. But it was Holden who pushed past everyone to be front and center, almost bouncing in his shoes and tempted to scream out if he was having a brother or sister.
“As you all know we’ve gathered you here today for some very exciting news,” Robert said happily. “Aaron and I couldn’t be happier about our family getting a bit bigger, but when we heard what we were having I think both of our hearts stopped for a second,” he laughed quietly, glancing down at the older lad and seeing his smile grow. “We don’t want to keep torturing you all, so I guess we’ll just come out and say it,” Robert said, letting out a deep breath and earning an encouraging nod from his boyfriend. “Aaron and I… We’re uhm… Well, we’re having a boy, and a girl… It’s twins!!”
Aaron was absolutely still, watching everyone’s reaction but he could only do that for so long before they all started to scream and rush towards them to hug them. Holden was there first of course, nearly climbing on his papa and yelling that there were two babies coming. It was clear the 4 year old couldn’t wait to have a brother but he seemed just as excited at having a sister as well. He went on and on about all the games he could play with them and how much fun they’re going to have, and Robert could hardly keep up with his mum crying in his other ear and kissing him all over his face.
“I’m so proud of you dear,” Diane said, wiping her wet eyes before giving her son one more kiss.
“Thanks mum,” Robert said softly, smiling down at her before pulling her into his side.
“Nana I gon be a big brother!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his papa’s arms.
Diane smiled at her grandson, taking him from Robert’s arms before listening to him go on and on about his siblings coming.
“Can you believe it love?” Aaron asked, tucking himself into his boyfriend’s side. “Everyone knows now and we’re in this amazing house, the nursery is getting started… It’s just…”
“It’s amazing and wonderful and I love you,” Robert laughed quietly, leaning down and pressing his lips to the older lad’s.
“Excuse me, Aaron,” Pete said, wanting his attention. “Can we talk for a second?” he asked, offering his best mate a small smile.
Aaron nodded, whispering a quiet “it’s okay” to Robert as he saw his boyfriend nearly killing Pete with his eyes. But he led Pete to the den anyway, figuring he wanted to talk in private.
“So, twins huh?”
“Yeah, twins,” Aaron said, never able to stop his smile from growing just at the thought of them.
“It’s awesome mate, I’m so excited for you.”
“Robert is more excited out of anyone, he’s so cute whenever he talks about the babies coming and he’s always asking if I need anything. Definitely different from when Holden was coming, huh?” He asked jokingly.
Pete hummed, nodding along with Aaron as he pressed his lips together and looked away from the older lad.
“Mate…” Aaron said quietly. “Why did you bring Sean?”
“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Pete shrugged. “He really likes you Aaron, and I know you like spending time with him too.”
“But I asked him to stay away,” Aaron said almost firmly. “I’m with Robert and we’re more than happy. I don’t need you creating problems.”
Pete shook his head, letting out a sarcastic laugh before looking back to the older lad. “You know what I find interesting? How you don’t see it… How once again you’ve blinded yourself because you think you’re in love.”
Aaron felt himself still, his mouth opening and closing as he heard the younger lad. “What are you talking about?”
“Robert’s just like Matt,” Pete said without hesitance. “He tells you who you can and can’t see or talk to and-”
“Don’t,” Aaron said, stopping him before he could say another word. “Robert is nothing like him… I can’t believe you… How can you say that, how can you stand here and after everything we’ve been through just-”
“I want to protect you Aaron!” Pete said, telling the older lad this time and time again. “Robert isn’t a good guy!! He’s a drunk and a liar and you deserve better, someone like Sean who won’t hurt you, won’t turn their back on you!!”
Aaron couldn’t say anything, couldn’t move as he tried to blink away his tears but still felt them rolling down his cheeks. “Tell me you didn’t… Please, tell me you weren’t trying to get Sean and I back together,” he nearly begged, just at the thought of Pete doing such a thing to him, to Robert making him get more and more choked up.
Pete stood there quiet for a moment, not meeting the older lad’s eye as he shuffled on his feet.
And just at that Aaron could see it, he knew that’s why Pete was bringing Sean along with him whenever they meet up. “O-Oh my God…”
“Aaron… I just… When Robert was on tour and I saw him going off the rails with all the drinking and the partying I didn’t understand how you couldn’t see it… How you refused and still refuse to see the fact that he’s a drunk, and not a good guy,” Pete said quietly, just watching as Aaron shook his head, and his tears fell faster and faster. “I wanted you to remember how nice it was to date someone normal, to have a genuine relationship with someone who won’t hurt you… That’s what you need and Sean-”
“Stop,” Aaron said, not able to hear another word from the younger lad. “It is not your decision who I see, or who I date… How can you do this? I-I mean what the fuck is wrong with you?!” he screamed.
“Aaron I won’t apologize for trying to protect you, for trying to be a good friend and-”
“Friends don’t do this to each other!! Friends don’t hurt each other the way you’ve hurt me, the way you’ve played me!!”
“Aaron I wasn’t playing you! Yes, maybe I saw Robert go off the deep end and took advantage of that, tried to show you his true colors, but you have to see the kind of guy he-”
“What’s going on in here?”
The two snapped their heads up, Robert coming into the room and looking between them before he saw Aaron’s tear stained cheeks.
“What the hell did you do?” he spat before rushing over to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around him.
Robert immediately felt Aaron tuck his head into his neck his tears coming out in choked sobs and he could just barely hear the older lad as he told him what Pete had said to him, what he had done. But as soon as Aaron had finished Robert didn’t waste a second before looking to Pete, holding everything he had in him to just lunge at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Robert said, letting go of Aaron and taking a step closer to Pete.
“Nothing is wrong with me, I just have a problem with you,” Pete said, crossing his arms over his chest and squaring his eyes at the younger lad.
“So much of a problem that you don’t care if you hurt Aaron or not?” Robert asked, stepping even closer to him. “What a great fucking friend you are.”
“And as if you know how to be a boyfriend, or a father… You-”
“You better shut your mouth right fucking now,” Robert said, his hands forming into fists at his side. “You kept my family from me once, and I won’t let you do it again… I will give you two minutes to leave my house before I beat the shit out of you and drag you out.”
Pete kept his eyes on Robert for only a second before looking behind him to Aaron, wanting to say something, just anything. “Aaron, c’mon, we-”
“Leave,” Aaron said, not wanting to hear another word from the younger lad.
Robert saw Pete just stand there, clearly wanting to say something but he couldn’t even look at the older lad without wanting to punch him. So he stared him down, straining himself not to go after Pete and when he finally turned on his heel he waited until the brown eyed lad was fully out of the room before looking to Aaron. And it wasn’t even a second later his boyfriend was sobbing into his hands, nearly shaking and looking like he was a second away from collapsing.
Robert quickly wrapped his arms around Aaron, carefully leading him over to the couch and sitting him down to relax. But when they sat down it seemed that the older lad only started to cry harder, and Robert knew how hurt he was that Pete had done this to him, that he tried to break them apart.
“I’m sorry love, I’m so sorry,” he whispered to him, rubbing his back and kissing his head.
“R-how could he… He was my best mate, I-I don’t-...”
Robert shushed Aaron, needing him to breathe and calm down. He just held the older lad, let him cry and get it out of his system. Robert couldn't even say how furious he was with Pete doing something like this to Aaron again, going behind his back and trying to dictate his life. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help Aaron other than to just be here for him, to reassure him how much he loves him and that he isn’t going anywhere.
And it may have been another half hour before Aaron calmed down enough to stop crying and insist that he clean himself up to rejoin the party. Robert wasn’t sure if he was really okay, there being no doubt in his mind that his boyfriend was beyond hurt over what Pete had done. But if Aaron wanted to go back to the party then he was going to follow after the older lad and be a good host.
Of course Aaron put on a happy face as the night continued on, but Robert did notice that the more they talked about the twins and all the shopping they had to get up to his boyfriend was starting to enjoy himself again. And just at the fact that Aaron was here, Holden was running around, and that there was a little boy and girl on the way to join their family Robert pushed Pete and Sean to the back of his mind.
Notes:
Thoughts on what Pete had done with trying to break Aaron and Robert apart, and bringing Sean back into the picture to replace Robert ? Opinions and thoughts on the chapter in general ? Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks xx
Chapter 19
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Papa I want this!!”
Robert was startled as felt a hard tug on his arm, letting out a deep breath as Holden had picked up yet another toy. “Buddy no, we said you can only get one thing and you picked out the hat, remember?”
“But papa,” Holden whined, pulling on his father’s hand harder.
“R,” Robert warned, giving the 4 year old a stern look before shaking his head. “Do you not want to get anything at all?”
Holden let out a Loud groan as he not so nicely put the toy back on the shelf and crossed his arms over his chest. He saw his papa’s eyes still on him, giving him that “don’t even think about throwing a tantrum” look before he grabbed his hand and began to walk off to find his daddy.
“Papa I was real good all day and you and daddy only shop for babies but I want something too,” Holden grumbled.
“Buddy you do have something, the hat,” Robert reminded him. “If you keep acting like this though you won’t be getting anything, relax.”
Even still though the 4 year old stomped his little feet and continued complaining, and Robert got it, he really did understand. They’ve been shopping for the twins all day and by now Holden must be exhausted. And not only that but Aaron has been a hormonal mess since he got up this morning and that was probably confusing Holden as one second his daddy was happy and the next he was annoyed or crying over how delicious his lunch was. But Robert was holding everything in him to not blow up. Aaron he understood, he wasn’t mad or frustrated with him all, more so his son who wouldn’t stop whining and begging for every toy, shirt or pair of shoes he saw in every store.
“Alright, that’s it,” Robert said, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face. “We’re not getting the hat. I told you nearly three times to stop whining and you haven’t,” he said, placing the hat on some shelf before walking away.
“What?” Holden froze, tugging his hand out of his papa’s and looking to the hat his father put up too high for him to reach. “But papa!!”
“No buts,” Robert breathed out, looking over the racks of clothes for Aaron. But of course he should’ve expected Holden to let out a Loud cry not even a second later.
“I-I want it!!” Holden cried, pointing to the hat and stomping his feet.
And all Robert did was let out a deep breath, turn around, scoop up his son and continue walking. He was at least grateful this wasn’t one of Holden’s bad tantrums with kicking and punching and ear shattering sobs. Instead the 4 year just hid his face in his papa’s neck and cried, hiccuping more and more as his father carried him further away from the hat.
“Aaron!” Robert called out, now just wanting to leave, not even caring if they got anything from this store. “Aaron!”
“Over here.”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he heard his muffled boyfriend, almost sounding like he was choked up. He hurried through the racks of baby clothes, scanning the area for the older lad before he found him hunched over on some bench and looking at a tiny baby boy’s outfit.
“Love, you alright?” Robert asked softly, putting Holden down and kneeling in front of Aaron.
Aaron sniffled to himself as he wiped his wet eyes and picked up his head to look at his boyfriend. “A-look at this… It’s just so cute,” he said, only for more tears to fall as he scDianed over the tiny outfit again.
Robert let out an airy laugh as he nodded and rubbed the older lad’s back. “You’re right, it is really cute,” he said, taking the outfit from him. “And you know what’s great? We can even buy it and you can look at it all the time.”
Aaron’s eyes went wide before he began to full out cry and nodded. “A-and when the baby comes we-we-”
“We can dress him in it, yeah,” Robert chuckled quietly. “C’mon love, let’s go buy what you picked out and we can go home.”
“O-okay,” Aaron said, taking Robert’s offered hand and carefully standing up. “What’s wrong with this one?” he asked, glancing down at Holden who was sniffling to himself.
“Whining, groaning, complaining, ya know, the whole lot,” Robert breathed out. “Told him he couldn’t get his hat if he kept it up and he threw a little tantrum.”
Aaron hummed, glancing down at the 4 year old who refused to pick his head up. “Maybe we all just need a nap,” he muttered.
Robert couldn’t agree faster as he gathered all of the clothes Aaron had picked out for the twins. At this point he was almost wondering what left they had to buy for them seeing as they did a fair amount of shopping today. Then again Robert actually had no clue what a baby needed besides the obvious necessities. Maybe when they get home he’ll read up on what they’ll need online. But looking at his car full, and then Paul’s car full as well Robert really had thought they picked up the majority of things they needed.
“Love, Adam is gonna meet us at the house alright? He said he’d help me set up the cribs and chairs and everything,” Robert said, helping Aaron into the car and making sure he was comfortable.
Aaron breathed out an “okay”, more than relieved to be sitting back down. He may only be 7 months along but already he felt like the babies could come any second, he was huge. Robert assured him it was because he just had a small frame and that they were having twins, but every chance Aaron got to sit down he was grateful for.
Robert smiled down at his boyfriend, kissing his cheek quickly before heading to his own side of the car and getting in. He glanced in the rear view mirror once he was in, seeing Holden look out the window, and he knew he upset the 4 year old, but he didn’t want him mad at him all day, didn’t want him to think he didn’t care about him.
“Holden,” Robert said quietly, reaching behind him and giving the toddler’s leg a gentle squeeze. “I love you buddy.”
Holden sniffled to himself, reaching for his papa’s hand that was on him and giving it a light squeeze. “Love you too papa.”
Robert was relieved Holden wasn’t still mad at him, and he was even happier to hear the 4 year old say a quiet “sorry” to him.
“Babe can we have fried chicken for dinner?”
“Sure,” Robert shrugged, that being easy enough.
“And mashed potatoes and gravy,” Aaron said, earning a quiet laugh and nod from his boyfriend. “And maybe some coleslaw… Pickles would be good in coleslaw wouldn’t it? I mean that sounds kinda good, pickles and mayonnaise.”
“I’ll make whatever you want love,” Robert said, slipping his hand into Aaron’s and smiling at him.
“Papa you can make it but I no eat it,” Holden said, sounding disgusted.
“We’ll have a great dinner buddy, don’t worry,” Robert reassure the 4 year old. “Plus Adam will be over so that’ll be fun.”
Holden hummed, whenever the Irish man comes around it’s guaranteed to be a good time. Maybe Adam could even help him forget and ignore all of the weird things his daddy has been eating.
*~*
“Holden dry Addi off before you two run through the house!!” Aaron yelled, seeing his son run from outside with a very wet Addi sprinting behind him.
Holden let out a shriek as he felt a pair of arm wrap around him, snatching him up before he could run any further. “Uncle Ross!!”
“What’re you doing you little devil?” Ross laughed, giving the 4 year old a gentle squeeze. “You and Addi ruining the house huh?”
“Maybe,” Holden shrugged, earning a playful pointed look from the older man. “What you doin here anyway?”
“Your pop called me over to finish painting the nursery,” Ross said through a small smile. “Your brother and sister are gonna be here in just a month and a half so we have to get everything done for them.”
Holden couldn’t help his wide grin as he heard his uncle, not sure how much longer he could wait for his siblings to come. “Well then go help papa cause daddy trying to nap,” he said, putting his little finger to his lips and telling the older man to be quiet.
“You got it buddy,” Ross said softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before setting him down. “Why don’t you dry Addi off and go to the playroom, yeah?”
Ross watched Holden nod quickly before he chased after his snowy and wet dog, not sure if the 4 year old would actually listen to him, but at least he tried. Ross didn’t worry about it though, instead he made his way up the stairs, looking for the curly haired lad.
“Robert!!”
“In here mate!” Robert called back, opening his bedroom door before pulling a shirt over his head. “Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by.”
“No problem R,” Ross said happily. “You heading out or something?”
“Yeah, I have an interview,” Robert huffed. “I should be back in like 3 hours though, and then I can help you with whatever you need.”
Ross nodded before heading towards the nursery and taking a peek inside. “By the time you get back I should probably be done. And I see you and Adam got a good amount of work in setting everything up, but when you get back hopefully you and I can finish it.”
“Sounds perfect,” Robert said, grabbing his messenger bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “See ya when I get back, thanks again,” he said, patting the older lad on the back before hopping down the stairs.
Robert went in search for Holden, making sure to hug the 4 year old extra tight and give him too many kisses to count before finally letting him go and saying his goodbyes. Next he was in search of Aaron, easily finding him snoring away on the couch, his mouth hung open and hand placed over his very round belly.
“Love,” he said gently, carefully brushing his fingers through the older lad’s hair. “Aaron I have to get going.”
Robert heard the older lad let out a small breath, but he didn’t expect him to reach his hand behind his head and pull him down for a kiss. He laughed against Aaron, trying to pull away, but his boyfriend just held him and kept trying to kiss him.
“Aaron, love,” he chuckled, getting out of his grip. “I have to go, I’ll-”
“Robert,” Aaron whined, pulling the younger lad down again and making their lips meet. “Real quick, before you go, please?” he almost begged.
Robert looked at his boyfriend wide eyed before letting out a Loud laugh. “Babe we don’t have time to do anything right now, I really have to go,” he said a bit sadly. “When I get back I’ll make it up to you, promise. I’ll take you right up to our bedroom and we can do whatever you want.”
Aaron groaned at hearing that, wanting to do that now but instead he just got another laugh out of the younger lad. “Well hurry back then.”
Robert nodded, pecking Aaron’s lips one last time before running his fingers through his hair and getting up. He really didn’t want to leave the older lad, he would much rather help him out with his little situation, but Robert knew he had to go to this interview. He’s been keeping a pretty low profile ever since he got back from the tour and with the due date of the babies coming closer and closer the media was aching for something from them.
So Robert made his way through the snowy London streets, trying to ignore the January cold as he walked into the television studio and immediately met Clara at the door. “You’re a lifesaver, my God,” he breathed out, quickly accepting the hot tea she was passing him.
“I know,” Clara laughed, taking Robert’s bag and coat from him. “So this is gonna be real simple, alright? You’ll sit down with Mike, he’ll ask a few questions about you, the family, what you did over the holidays, basically just catching up,” she said easily. “The only thing that’ll be different is you telling him about the twins, ya know, having a boy and girl, there of course will be some excitement over that but once that part is over you’ll perform and we’re out of here.”
Robert nodded, taking a sip of his tea and following Clara to his dressing room before he let the makeup artist take over. “We have a setlist?”
Clara passed him a piece of paper and Robert couldn’t even say how grateful he was to her for getting all of this together for him. Making sure he had his instruments and everything was set up so he didn’t have to do anything.
Robert was more than happy to just sit and let the makeup and hair artist do their job, almost nodding off to sleep a few times but fingers brushing through his hair or something getting put on his face quickly woke him up. He could hear Clara laughing at him, but she knew just how tired he was from watching over Holden and Aaron, and on top of that getting everything ready for the babies to come.
“You want another tea for when you come off?” Clara asked as she watched Robert get his microphone get put on.
“We might have to go straight to coffee,” Robert laughed before waving to the interviewer.
He made sure to give Clara a grateful smile before he walked over to take his seat in front of the camera, immediately sinking into his chair and getting comfortable.
“Hey Robert, good to see you,” Mike said happily, shaking the younger lad’s hand.
“You too mate,” Robert said politely back, noticing all the cameras and lights getting set up before they start.
But when Clara came up to him and gave him a steaming cup of coffee Robert nearly groaned just at the sight of it. He didn’t care if she and Mike started laughing, he desperately needed this. And when the crew said they were ready to start Robert had nearly finished the drink but made sure to chug the last bit of it and thank Clara a million times.
“Alright Robert, you ready?”
Robert nodded at the crew, hearing the director countdown from five before Mike gave him a very happy welcome. It was always the same in the beginning, asking how he is, talking about his music, if he’s working on anything now, writing for someone else, or thinking about collaborating with anyone. But it quickly turned to him and Aaron expecting a baby, and just at the thought Robert couldn’t help his wide smile.
“Aaron and I really couldn’t be any more excited, Holden too,” he said, happiness nearly gushing out of him. “We’re doing the last bit of the nursery today, we have the cutest little clothes, I can hardly wait,” Robert said, feeling his face almost split from how much he was smiling.
Mike let out a small laugh at hearing the younger lad, it being clear just how excited he was. “Well Robert I don’t know if you and Aaron want to keep this a secret but we’re all dying to hear what you two will be having.”
Robert bit his lip, holding back his grin as he thought about the twins. “Uhm no we weren’t planning on keeping it a secret. We already told all of our family and friends, and let me tell you, when they found out they all freaked out. I don’t think I’ve ever been crushed in so many hugs,” he chuckled.
“Well come on then! Don’t leave us in the dark!!”
Robert laughed a bit, running his fingers through his hair before looking back to Mike. “So uhm, Aaron and I, we’re uh, we’re actually having twins… It’s a boy and a girl,” he said happily, feeling his cheeks heat up at the shocked face the older man was giving him.
“What?!” Mike yelped. “Robert that’s incredible! Congrats mate!!” he said, shaking his hand, having to nearly stop himself from hugging the younger lad.
“Thank you,” Robert said sheepishly. “And we actually already have names picked out, but we’re keeping those a secret,” he said, sending a wink to Mike and making him groan.
“Well I guess a month and a half isn’t too long to wait to find out,” Mike huffed.
Robert shrugged, knowing his mates and family have been badgering him and Aaron about what names they picked out, but the two were determined not to tell anyone until the babies were born. He had no problem talking to Mike about everything else having to do with the babies though, and like he normally does got carried away and went on and on until the older man had to actually stop him so they could talk about something else.
Mike had asked them about their holidays, and Robert was more than happy to tell him all about Aaron’s birthday, their Christmas and New Years spent with all of their family and friends. Diane, Jack, Vic and Charlie had come down and stayed with them from Christmas Eve to the day after New Years, and by the end of it Robert could say that he spent more than enough time with his family. But he knew they were all going to be coming right back to stay with them for when the twins are born, but he didn’t think the extra hands would be so bad.
For right now at least he was happy to talk about his family and the holidays, also knowing his fans were probably dying to know what he’s been up to. He’s posted pictures and videos of them but Robert knew fans always loved interviews. And luckily his time with Mike wasn’t all that long, the older lad just asking a few more questions before they said their goodbyes and he performed his songs. As much as Robert loved interviews he wanted to be home with Aaron and finally finish the nursery.
*~*
Robert scrunched up his face, just barely picking his head off the pillow as he heard Aaron groaning next to him. He could see the older lad still sleeping but it was clear he was uncomfortable or in pain and that was one thing Robert absolutely hated.
He gently pushed the covers back, revealing Aaron’s large stomach before gently rubbing his hand over his skin. Robert remembers the first time he felt one of the twins kick, his heart had nearly stopped and he may have shed a few tears, but now it seemed to be constant kicking from one of them. And he knew right now it was his little girl that was giving her daddy trouble, her being on the left side and Robert could feel her tiny movements.
“You gotta go to sleep love,” he whispered, leaning in closer to Aaron’s belly and kissing it softly. “Let daddy rest, okay? I know you’re excited to come out, but we just have to wait a little longer.”
Robert loved how when he talked to the twins they would almost immediately calm down at his voice. He didn’t notice at first, but Aaron tells him that whenever they hear him talk they don’t move around as much and relax, so now Robert talks to them all the time. And it wasn’t any different tonight as he talked to his babygirl and ran his hand up and down his boyfriend’s stomach, immediately soothing his daughter and Aaron.
“If your brother takes up too much room just give him a kick alright? I’m sure he’ll move right over,” Robert laughed quietly, pressing another kiss to Aaron’s belly. “Goodnight sweet girl, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Robert picked his head up, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he saw Aaron grinning back down at him. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked quietly, crawling back up to his boyfriend and running a hand over his stomach.
“No but your daughter did,” Aaron chuckled, pulling the younger lad down and connecting their lips gently.
“She’s a late night thinker like her pop,” Robert said, his smile growing as he looked back down to Aaron’s belly.
“Yeah you won’t be so happy about that when she’s crying at 3am,” Aaron said, making the younger lad hum. “And then her brother will wake up, making me have to get up with you and then I’ll be mad at you for this whole late night thinking thing,” he teased.
“We’ll be fine I’m sure,” Robert rolled his eyes playfully, dipping his head and kissing the older lad. “But right now we both need some sleep. Do you want anything though? Are you hungry, or I can make you some tea,” he offered.
“No thank you love, I’m fine,” Aaron laughed quietly, shifting on his back, trying to get comfortable.
Robert breathed out an “okay”, pecking his boyfriend’s lips one last time before laying down and keeping his hand on his stomach, more than ready if one of the twins starts acting up again. He was at least happy that for right now they were calm so Aaron could sleep, and if the older lad was relaxed then so was Robert.
*~*
He could hear his feet echoing in the hallway as he ran, his breaths coming out ragged the faster and faster he went. But as soon as Robert got to Aaron’s classroom he didn’t waste a second before crashing through the door, seeing Adam standing in front of Aaron and rushing towards the older lad.
“Aaron, love what’s wrong?” he asked quickly, kneeling in front of his boyfriend and taking his hands away from his face. “Are you in pain, are you okay?”
“Mate I dunno what happened,” Adam said, rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “I guess he started crying in the middle of class and one of his students got me, but he didn’t stop crying so I dismissed them and called you.”
“Aaron I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” Robert said, growing more and more worried that he was hurt or the babies were coming.
“I-I’m sorry, I’m okay,” Aaron hiccuped, wiping his wet eyes and trying to even his breathing.
Robert pulled the older lad into his chest, kissing him and just wanting him to relax. “Adam it’s okay, just give us a few.”
He saw the Irish lad nod at him and give Aaron a tight lined smile before leaving the room, but as soon as the door was shut the older lad only started to cry again.
“Love please tell me what’s wrong.”
“I-I’m emotional a-and fat a-and I love you. I-I-...”
Robert shushed his boyfriend, figuring his hormones just started raging and something tipped him over the edge. “Did something happen love? Why did you start crying?”
“Cause my students they-they were being so nice cause i-it’s my last before I go on leave, look,” Aaron said, pointing to all of the cards and presents his students got him, and even some things for the twins. “B-but when they were taking their test I was looking through files on my computer and I found this and I-I-,” he cut himself off, glancing back at the screen and crying into his hands.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he looked towards the older lad’s computer, seeing some video pulled up. He glanced back towards Aaron, not sure how a video could make him cry but maybe it was about babies or cute kittens or something and his boyfriend was just emotional about their adorableness. But when Robert restarted the video and pushed play his own breath hitched at seeing what it was. (X)
“Where did you find this?” he barely whispered, keeping his eyes locked on the screen.
Aaron shrugged, not even able to talk as he heard and saw the video all over again. “I-it was just on my computer, I don’t know.”
Robert couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as he saw the video. Him and Aaron in Uni all those years ago with their choir group, but he remembered this, just them singing this duet.
“Look at us,” Aaron breathed out, allowing a few more tears to run down his cheeks.
Just at glancing at the computer and the camera focused on the two of them anyone could see how in love they were, how they had the whole world in their hands. Aaron almost missed those days, when everything was so simple and Robert wasn’t famous, when the only thing they ever had to worry about was what was for dinner or who was buying the groceries that week. But now their worlds were completely different, they were different, and Aaron doesn’t think he would change where he was or what he had right now for the world.
“I love you.”
Robert looked at the older lad, a small smile creeping onto his lips before he leaned forward, kissing Aaron softly and just barely pulling away. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry Adam had to call you and you came all the way down here,” Aaron said, biting his lip and looking down to his hands. “I’m sure you were busy and this was just a waste of time.”
“It’s never a waste of time if it’s about you,” Robert laughed quietly. “I was terrified though, I thought you were going into labor or something with the way Adam sounded on the phone.”
“No, we still have another month,” Aaron said, grinning to himself as he ran a hand over his large belly.
Robert’s smile only widened as he nodded and placed his hand over Aaron’s. “Do you want to come home with me or do you want to finish the rest of your classes?”
“I want to finish, it is my last day after all. And I’m sorry again you had to come down here,” Aaron huffed, wiping his stinging yes.
“It’s fine love, really,” Robert reassured him. “I was doing some songwriting and the baby proofing guy is coming over to the house in a little bit.”
Aaron breathed out a quiet “okay” still feeling bad but he was a bit grateful Robert came to the school to calm him down. And he was even more grateful when the younger lad stayed until his next class started, asking again if he was okay or if he needed anything. Aaron had to almost beg Robert to go so he could meet the baby proofer guy at the house but finally the younger lad left, leaving Aaron to his final day of teaching.
*~*
Robert looked around the nursery, double checking that everything was set up and in it’s place. It was such a relief to finally be done with the room, all the twins’ clothes folded and put away, their cribs set up and the room beautifully painted.
Just at looking around the room Robert could feel his nerves picking up. It was no lie that he was mildly terrified for when the babies actually came and there would be two little humans he had to look after. Robert could be as prepared as possible, already having carriers ready in the car and diapers at the changing table, but still he felt like he would mess up.
Aaron assured him he was going to learn on the job, that he was already a great father and that the babies would love him just like Holden does, how he does. Robert still had his doubts though, he was scared to say the least.
“Papa!! What’s on the toilet?! It won’t open and I have to pee!!”
“Buddy go to the bathroom in your room!” Robert yelled back, knowing his room didn’t have any of the baby proof things in there. “I’ll show you how to open it later, just use your toilet for now!”
He could hear his son groaning before he sprinted down the hall to his room, but Robert really didn’t want to fiddle with the toilet right now. Aaron has been complaining about all the baby proof stuff around the house for nearly two weeks now, but they just had to get used to it. Robert wasn’t taking any chances with his two little babies getting hurt.
“Papa I’m done peeing!”
“Oh good,” Robert rolled his eyes fondly, making his way out of the nursery and closing the door behind him.
“I forget something!!” Holden said, crashing into his father, making Addi run circles around them. “Daddy want me to tell you he hurt. He like groaning and holding his belly, I dunno what wrong,” he shrugged.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, his heart dropping into his stomach as he heard the 4 year old. “When did he tell you this?” he asked quickly, rushing towards the stairs and nearly running down them.
“Before I go pee,” Holden said, trying to keep up with his papa.
“Aaron!!” Robert called out, running to where the older lad was resting on the couch. “Love what’s wrong? Holden said you were hurt, what happened?” he asked frantically, kneeling in front of his boyfriend, seeing his eyes squeezed shut and watching as deep breaths escaped him.
“W-we need to go,” Aaron barely said, reaching for Robert’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “It’s happening, they’re coming.”
Robert’s breathing stopped as he heard his boyfriend, felt himself freeze and his eyes go wide.
“Robert, love, please,” Aaron said, trying to sit up but couldn’t do it on his own.
“Okay, yeah, okay,” Robert rushed out, his thoughts running a mile a minute as he helped the older lad sit up on the couch. “Wait shit! We don’t have a bag, we need a bag, and my mum, I have to call my mum!! Aaron what do we do?! What do I do?!” he asked panicked.
“Get me to the hospital,” Aaron said through gritted teeth, trying to bite back the pain. “We’ll have Ross or Adam get us a bag but right now we need to go, we need to hurry.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, feeling like he couldn’t move as he realized what was happening.
“Papa! Daddy hurt, come on!!” Holden said, tugging on his father’s arm to get him to move.
Robert felt like he snapped out of a daze as he quickly nodded and carefully helped Aaron stand up. His heart was racing, palms sweating and breathing shallow, but that was nothing compared to how Aaron was feeling and Robert could see that.
He told Holden to get his shoes and coat on, hurrying to do the same and help his boyfriend as quickly and carefully as possible. Robert had to shoo Addi away a few times so they could actually get out the door, but with every step they took towards the car his nerves only got worse.
“You okay, you comfortable?” Robert asked, making sure Aaron was secure and buckled in the car.
“As comfortable as I can be,” Aaron breathed out, rubbing his hands over his round belly, trying to calm down.
“Yeah, right,” Robert nodded to himself before rushing to his side of the car, checking that Holden was in his car seat and speeding out of the driveway.
As soon as he was steadily flooring it to the hospital he offered Aaron his hand, the older lad immediately taking it and squeezing it harshly. Robert could handle that, he was grateful that his boyfriend wasn’t screaming at him or was threatening him, whatever it was Adam told him that pregnant people do when they’re in labor.
“Daddy don’t forget to breathe, breathing very important,” Holden said, reaching forward and patting his daddy’s shoulder.
Aaron let out an airy breath as he reached for his phone in his pocket and offered the 4 year old a soft smile. “Thanks buddy.”
“And here I call nana, you rest,” Holden said, making grabby hands for his father’s phone as he heard him tell his papa he was going to call the family and their mates.
“R I got it, thank you big guy,” Robert said, a small laugh escaping him as he tried to push away his nerves and gather himself to talk on the phone.
He knew he was shaking as he held Aaron’s phone to his ear and started calling everyone rapidly. Robert was just happy that Aaron didn’t seem to be in too much pain, at least he didn’t show it. That didn’t stop him from breaking almost every traffic law to get to the hospital though, needing Aaron to get comfortable, hating that he was in any kind of pain.
“Are they coming?” Aaron asked through a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart.
“Everyone’s on their way, Ross is grabbing a bag for us all, it’s okay, we’ll be okay,” Robert said, kissing Aaron’s hand, trying to relax himself. “Wait who’s gonna watch R when we get there? Can he be in the room with us?”
“Uncle Pete!!”
Aaron glanced back at the 4 year old before shifting his gaze to Robert, the younger lad’s jaw immediately clenching just at his name. He hasn’t seen or talked to Pete since the party, that being just about 4 months ago and Aaron had no plans to ever talk to him again after what he tried to do.
“No buddy, I’m sure Ed and Adam will be there quick enough and they’ll watch you,” he said, knowing Robert’s family will take hours to get to them and Ross was getting things from their house.
Holden let out a huff but nodded anyway, there being no point in arguing with his daddy but he also didn’t want to make him upset. He knew his siblings were coming and his papa told him that when this happens his daddy is going to be hurting a little bit so they couldn’t make him upset. So when his father pulled into the hospital parking lot Holden was good and patient, listening to everything his papa told him as they slowly and carefully made their way inside the building.
“Someone help, please!” Robert called out as soon as they were inside, Aaron gripping his hand for dear life as he tried to steady the older lad.
“Robert, here!” Heather said quickly, bringing over a wheelchair and helping Aaron into it.
“Heather thank God,” Robert said gratefully, more than happy that she beat them here after he called her. “Is this okay that they’re coming now? I mean they’re like two weeks early, are they alright?” he asked worriedly, scooping Holden up and rushing after the doctor down the hall.
“Trust me, it’s perfectly fine, Aaron and the twins will be alright,” she assured him. “We’re going to run a few tests, get Aaron comfortable and give him some medicine, and see if we can get an operating room in a few hours, alright?”
“Few hours?” Robert asked wide eyed. “No, no, he’s in pain now, isn’t there anything we can do?”
“That’s what the medicine is for love, it’s okay,” Aaron said shakily, offering his boyfriend a small smile.
Robert opened his mouth, that making a lot of sense before he nodded to himself. “Okay, sorry, you’re right,” he said, desperately needing to calm down.
He had to be here for Aaron, he had to be his rock and right now he was failing miserably.
“Alright Aaron we’re going to get you changed, hook you up to a few machines and I’ll be right back to check on the twins, okay?”
Aaron nodded at Heather, sending a grateful smile before taking a seat on the bed and accepting the gown the nurse was passing him.
“Daddy you have to put on a dress?!” Holden shrieked, letting out a booming laugh.
Aaron side eyed his son, shaking his head at him and carefully wobbling over to the bathroom with the help of his boyfriend.
“Right out here if you need me love,” Robert said, kissing Aaron’s temple before he let him go change.
“Mr.Sugden if we could get you to fill these out that would be great,” a nurse said, passing the younger lad a clipboard with papers on it. “And how many minutes apart are his-”
“15 minutes last I checked,” Robert said quickly, wanting to help the nurse so she could help Aaron as soon as possible. “Is there anything else you need to know? He’s not allergic to any medication and the only other surgeries he’s had was the c-section for our son, his tonsils getting taken out and his appendix but that’s it, that’s okay right? I mean none of that effects-”
“Love, it’s okay,” the nurse laughed. “Just fill this out and we’ll take care of him.”
“Yeah, geez papa,” Holden said, shaking his head at his father as he claimed a chair next to the bed.
Robert let out a few deep breaths, thinking that he must sound and look like a crazy person right now but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t there for Aaron when Holden was born, and now that he was here he wanted to do everything right, he couldn’t let his boyfriend down.
So as soon as Aaron came out of the bathroom changed Robert didn’t waste a second before helping him get in the bed, making sure he was as comfortable as he could get before the nurse started to get to work on him.
“Do you need anything love? Are you hungry? I know we didn’t have time for lunch so I can get you something,” Robert said, combing his fingers through his boyfriend’s sweaty hair.
“Eating is the last thing on my mind right now,” Aaron breathed out, hoping this medicine would kick in soon. “Get something for you and R though, I’m sure he’s starved.”
Robert said a quiet “okay” seeing as Aaron was a second away from passing out.
He didn’t want to leave the older lad but Aaron, the nurse and even Heather assured him that the babies wouldn’t be coming for a little while. They had a c-section scheduled for tonight but Robert wanted to stay where he was. His boyfriend nearly begged him to go though, saying he was just going to nap and they could grab some food and he didn’t want Holden to be cooped up in the room for too long, so Robert eventually agreed to go.
“C’mon buddy, get your coat on, it’s cold outside,” Robert said, opening the door, ready to leave.
But it wasn’t even a second later he looked up, his eyes meeting a pair of brown ones before his face went hard.
Robert closed the door behind him, stepping into the hallway and getting dangerously close to the older lad. “Don’t even think about stepping foot into that room.”
“And if I do?” Pete asked with raised eyebrows, crossing his arms over his scrubs.
“Then I’ll beat the living shit out of you,” Robert said simply, his hands forming into fists at his sides. “Get it through that thick fucking skull of yours, Aaron wants nothing to do with you… You crushed him and I’m not going to stand by and let it happen again.”
“Are you sure it’s Aaron and not you who wants nothing to do with me? Because I don’t believe for one second that you have nothing to do with him not wanting to talk to me.”
Robert looked at the older lad like he had gone mad before shaking his head and running his hands over his face frustratedly. “It’s Aaron’s decision who he does and doesn’t talk to, and guess what, he’s done with you so leave him the hell alone. And if I see you outside this room again I’ll have no problem calling security or throwing you out myself.”
He didn’t let Pete say another word before he turned on his heel and walked back into the room, stopping Holden as he saw him putting his coat on.
“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you going?” Aaron asked tiredly.
Robert walked over to his boyfriend, leaning down so he could whisper to him what had happened. And all Aaron did was nod at him, saying a quiet “thank you” before glancing towards the door.
“Can we uhm, can we get Paul or someone to stand outside the door?” Aaron asked quietly. “I don’t want him or Sean to have any chance to get in here.”
“Of course love,” Robert kissed his head, already pulling out his phone to text his bodyguard to come.
He knew how hurt Aaron was from what Pete had done, well what he tried to do. Even weeks after the party the older lad would cry, would lock himself in the bathroom and try to understand why Pete would do such a thing to him, to their family. And Robert hated that the older lad had hurt Aaron so much, that his supposed best friend would do something like that to him. To this day Aaron was hurt over it, Pete was his mate since they were kids and the amount of betrayal the blue eyed lad went through was too much for him to forgive Pete this time. He couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t be his friend. And Robert was going to do everything in his power to keep Pete away from Aaron so he wouldn’t get hurt again.
*~*
“We’re here, we’re here, it’s okay!!”
Robert picked his head up as he heard his mum yelling and saw his family crash into the room.
“How’re you feeling love? We tried to get here as quickly as possible,” Diane said, shoving Robert out of the way so she could talk to Aaron.
“M’good,” Aaron breathed out. “Your son has been more than helpful,” he said, sending a small smile to his boyfriend. “It won’t be long until the little ones will be joining us.”
“I can’t wait!” Vic squealed, squeezing Charlie’s arm just a bit too tightly. “Ross was able to get a bag right? And Adam, is he here?”
“They’re both here, and Ross brought a bag, they’re just getting food with Holden,” Robert informed her, going over to Aaron’s other side and taking his hand.
He hated how they’ve been waiting for hours, that Aaron was still in some pain and every few minutes he would squeeze his hand so tight he almost lost circulation. But Robert kept thinking that it wouldn’t be much longer until they twins would be with them, that Aaron wouldn’t be in any pain and their babies would finally be with them.
“Guys what’s up with the small army you have outside?”
Robert rolled his eyes as Ed came into the room, waving and saying a quiet “hello” to everyone before he walked over to Aaron.
“It’s just Paul and another bodyguard, we were having some problems with Pete earlier,” Robert said quietly, making everyone in the room look at him concerned.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Charlie asked with a touch of anger in his voice.
“He works here,” Aaron muttered. “But please, I just want to forget about him, let’s just focus on the two little people that’ll be joining us soon,” he said, offering everyone a small smile.
“How is he the only sane one in the room?” Ed chuckled, the tension defusing just a bit.
“He’s doped up on drugs, don’t listen to him,” Robert said jokingly, making his boyfriend eye him playfully.
“Oh, hello everyone,” Heather said as she saw the full room. “Aaron, how’re you feeling? Those drugs working?”
“Apparently they’re working really well,” Jack teased, earning a slight slap in the arm from Diane.
Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing the drugs weren’t doing anything major to him besides taking away some pain. “I’m just ready to get these two out of here,” he said, running his free hand over his large belly.
“They’re setting up the room for you now,” Heather said softly. “If you all don’t mind I’m going to get him ready. There is a waiting area just down the hall and as soon as we’re done I’ll get you.”
Robert could see how nervous his family was, and even Ed was trying his best to calm down but him and Aaron made sure to give them all hugs before they left the room, wishing them good luck. And it wasn’t even two minutes later Holden crashed into the room with Adam trailing behind him, needing to give his daddies hugs and kisses as well before saying he couldn’t wait for his siblings to come and finally leaving the room after Ross and Adam had to drag him out to leave the two with the doctor.
“You ready love?” Robert asked, offering his boyfriend a soft smile as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Aaron hummed, trying to calm his pounding heart as he squeezed Robert’s hand. None of this felt real. It seems like he’s been waiting forever for this moment, but here they were. Robert was in scrubs, Heather and a few nurses were pushing him down the hall and in no time he would be holding their babies. And the best part about it all was having Robert next to him. To feel the younger lad’s hand in his, to hear his voice and know that he was there for him.
“Alright, we ready boys?” Heather asked once they were settled in the operating room.
Robert let out a deep breath, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute and his thoughts racing but he couldn’t be more ready to finally meet his babies. He held Aaron’s hand tightly, kissing his head and smiling down at him as he realized what was happening.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Aaron barely whispered, letting his eyes fall shut as he felt Heather getting started.
Robert bit his lip as he heard the older lad, almost feeling tears well in his eyes as he nodded and kissed his boyfriend over and over again. “I love you, I love you so much.”
Aaron laughed quietly, squeezing Robert’s hand and nodding at him. “I love you too.”
Robert cupped Aaron’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over his skin and trying not to cry as he saw where he was, what was happening. They’ve been waiting for this moment for so long and now that it was here Robert couldn’t contain himself. The babies weren’t even born yet and already he was crying as he whispered to Aaron how good he was doing, how he was right there with him every step of the way. But when he felt the older lad squeeze his hand tightly and heard that first wailing cry echo through the room Robert couldn’t hold anymore tears back.
He broke down at hearing the baby’s cry, resting his head on Aaron’s chest and letting it all out.
“Baby boy, 5.3lbs, born at 7:53pm.”
“Alright, let’s get this little girl out,” Heather said, smiling from behind her mask as she heard the nurse.
“Love,” Aaron choked out, his own tears escaping him as he saw Robert. “Can you see him?”
Robert picked his head up, wiping his wet eyes to get a clear view of their son but as soon as he saw him across the room he only started to cry more. “He’s beautiful Aaron, you’re doing so good,” he said, kissing his boyfriend’s sweaty head.
Aaron let out an airy laugh, covering his mouth with his free hand as he glanced over at their baby boy. But before he could say anything he felt some pressure, squeezing Robert’s hand tightly and gritting his teeth just as a second Loud cry was heard in the room.
“Baby girl, 5lbs, born at 8:02pm.”
“Oh, there she is,” Robert breathed out, sneaking a glance at his little girl and biting his lip to keep himself somewhat composed. “I’m so proud of you love, you did amazing,” he said, leaning down and kissing Aaron gently.
Aaron hiccuped to himself, nodding and smiling at his boyfriend as he looked at him through glassy eyes. He couldn’t even start crying again before Heather came up to them, holding a little bundle wrapped in blue and gently placing their baby boy in Aaron’s arms.
“Oh look at him,” Robert said, helping Aaron cradle their son before taking a few pictures of them with his phone.
“Robert.”
He perked his head up, seeing Heather carrying and offering him his little girl and Robert froze as he looked at his baby.
“It’s okay love, take her,” Aaron laughed quietly, seeing his boyfriend hesitate.
Robert swallowed thickly, nodding slowly before carefully reaching for his daughter and shifting her gently in his arms. And as he looked down at her he only felt more tears gather in his eyes. She had Aaron’s little button nose and even with a quick glance Robert could see how identical the twins were. They had the smallest amount of hair on their little heads, the same color as Aaron’s as well and Robert only wondered how much they would look like their daddy.
“Hey little girl,” Robert said softly, smiling down at his daughter and kissing her forehead gently. “I’m your papa.”
“How’re you feeling love?”
Robert looked to Aaron with a watery smile and laughed to himself as he saw the older lad filming him. “I feel like the luckiest man in the world,” he barely whispered, looking between his newborn babies and boyfriend. “Already such a handsome man,” Robert said leaning forward and gently kissing his son before pecking Aaron’s lips.
“Just like his pop,” Aaron said quietly, looking to his daughter and almost tearing up again at how beautiful she was.
“Boys I’m sorry but we have to take them just for a second to do some tests,” Heather said, earning a nod from both of them. “It won’t take long, they’ll meet you in your room, okay?”
The two nodded at her, carefully handing back the twins to nurses before looking back to each other and letting out airy laughs. They couldn’t believe it, that the twins were actually here and they were so so beautiful.
“My God I love you,” Robert said, pressing his lips to Aaron’s and feeling the older lad smiling against him. “How are you? You feeling alright?”
“I feel amazing,” Aaron chuckled, leaning into Robert’s touch as he combed his fingers through his sweaty hair. “I’m so happy.”
Robert grinned down at his boyfriend as he saw his eyes fall shut and squeeze his hand gently. He could see Heather stitching Aaron back up and already he couldn’t wait to have the twins back in their arms. And luckily it was only 15 minutes lates the pair was back in their hospital room, Robert nearly bouncing as he saw Heather bring the twins back into the room.
“Everything okay with them?” Aaron asked as he carefully balanced his babygirl in his arms, a wide smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he saw her stretch and yawn.
“They’re both perfect, healthy little babies,” Heather said happily, a fond grin reaching her as she saw the pair with their kids. “I can go get your family if you’d like.”
“Please,” Aaron said quietly, keeping his eyes on his daughter as he nodded.
He couldn’t wait for Holden to finally meet his siblings, for everyone to actually get a glimpse of them. Already seeing Robert with them Aaron almost felt his heart swell. The younger lad looked at the twins with so much love, with tears in eyes like he had never seen anything or anyone so beautiful. He looked at them like they weren’t real, like all of this was too good to be true, but sure enough they were here with them.
“Papa? Daddy?”
The two looked up from the babies in their arms, warm smiles making their way to them as they saw their family quietly and carefully shuffling into the room.
“Is that my brother?” Holden asked softly, walking in front of his papa and looking at the tiny baby in his arms.
“Yeah buddy, this is your brother,” Robert said his grin only widening as he saw his two sons finally together. “Daddy has your sister if you want to see her.”
Holden bit back his own smile as he nodded at his papa and walked over to his daddy’s bed to look at his sister. But as soon as he saw her he gasped, placing a little hand over his mouth. “She’s so pretty,” he barely whispered, carefully climbing on the bed to get a better look at her.
It was hard for everyone in the room not to laugh as they heard the 4 year old, but even they were struck as they looked between the twins.
“What did you guys name them?” Vic asked quietly, looking over her brother’s shoulder at her baby nephew.
“I have Riley Diane Dingle-Sugden,” Aaron said softly, kissing his daughter’s little nose and letting her grip his finger with her tiny hand.
“And I have Bennett WilPete Dingle-Sugden,” Robert said, if possible his smile widening as he saw his mum near tears.
“Riley and Benji, I like it,” Holden giggled as he nodded to himself. “But why they Dingle-Sugden?” he asked confused.
“You know papa’s last name is Sugden so we put our last names together,” Aaron explained.
Holden said a quiet “oh” as he looked between his papa and daddy and bit his lip.
“Mum wanna take him for a second?” Robert asked quietly, a small laugh escaping him as he saw his mum nod eagerly and take her grandson from him.
He gave Aaron a knowing look, earning a smile from the older lad as he nodded at him. So Robert went over to his bag, pulling out a piece of paper before he went over to Holden and sat next to him on the bed.
“So R, your daddy and I had an idea when we were picking out your brother’s and sister’s names and we want to talk to you about it,” he said softly, the 4 year old looking at him a bit confused. “Would you like to be a Dingle-Sugden too?”
Holden let his jaw fall open as he glanced over at his daddy and saw him smiling at him. But when he looked back to his papa he had to wipe his wet eyes with his little hand, nodding at him and saying a quiet “I want that a lot”.
“Yeah?” Robert asked through a small laugh, wiping away his son’s tears that fell onto his cheeks. “Well here buddy,” he said, passing the 4 year old the paper he had. “This says you’re a Dingle-Sugden now too.”
Holden looked at the piece of paper, having no clue that it said his name had been legally changed before he lunged at his papa and hugged him with everything he had.
Robert almost lost his breath as Holden crashed into him, but that didn’t stop him from squeezing his son back and kissing his head. “I love you buddy.”
“Love you too,” Holden hiccuped out, kissing his papa’s cheek and keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
Robert held the 4 year old as long as he would let him, rubbing his back and wiping away his tears before Holden let him go, wanting to hold his baby siblings as he saw his family passing them around.
“So when’re we gonna make you a Dingle-Sugden, hm?”
Aaron felt his face heat up as he heard his boyfriend, keeping his eyes on the twins as Adam and Charlie held them, unable to look at the younger lad. “I uhm, I don’t know.”
Robert laughed to himself as he kissed Aaron’s temple, only imagining the day he can put a ring on the older lad’s finger and finally say he could be his for forever. But right now he was more than happy to have Bennett and Riley with them, and see Holden looking at his siblings like they were the most precious things in the world.
Notes:
Bennett and Riley are born !! Thoughts on the chapter ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks xx
Chapter 20
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert’s eyes shot open as he heard a wailing cry come over the baby monitor, immediately startling him awake. He could see Aaron shift in bed as well, almost about to get up before Robert gently tugged him back down.
“Stop, I got’em. You’re still on bedrest.”
“Oh yeah? Says who?” Aaron mumbled sleepily as he felt the younger lad kiss his head.
“Says Dr.Robert, now go back to sleep, it’s okay,” he said, a small laugh coming from him as he saw Aaron roll his eyes before snuggling right back into the covers.
They brought the twins home today after spending three days in the hospital, and it was such a relief to Robert to finally be back in his own bed. Even if he was getting up at 4 something in the morning to try to calm his screeching newborn, he didn’t mind at all. Robert didn’t think he’d be saying that in another week when he’s completely sleep deprived and covered in spit up and poop, but at least for right now the babies were cute no matter what they were doing.
“Oh I should’ve known it was you crying up a storm,” Robert whispered, reaching into Riley’s crib and settling her against his chest. “C’mon love, let’s not wake your brother.”
He rubbed his daughter’s back and bounced her gently as he peered into Bennett’s crib, having no clue how the newborn was still sleeping, but he was grateful only one of them woke up. And Robert intended to keep it that way and make his life easier as he headed into the hall, trying to calm Riley along the way.
He had read every book he could get his hands on about babies, ranging from nutrition to what their different cries mean, and Robert thought those would help, that maybe he wouldn’t be so helpless during times like this.
The first time one of the babies cried it was Bennett and Robert was at a complete loss of what to do. He didn’t know if he should pick up the newborn, whisper something to him, feed him, or change him and it was immediate he became panicked. Luckily Aaron was there of course and even if the older lad was laughing at him Robert listened to what he said and managed to soothe his son and even feed him for the first time. And by now Robert liked to believe he somewhat knew what he was doing when it came to the twins and how to stop their cries. Well, maybe he couldn’t say that considering Riley was still crying.
“C’mon love, give pop a little break,” Robert whispered to her as he walked up and down the hall, needing her wailing to stop. “Are you hungry, did you poop?” he asked, lifting the newborns little bum up and smelling her.
But of course as soon as he did that Robert nearly gagged, his question easily being answered. His kids were only four days old, he didn’t understand how such cute and little people can make such awful, horrible smelling messes.
To make it worse though Robert realized he had to go back into the nursery to change his daughter, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would wake Bennett up with all of her crying. But he had to change her, there was no way around it.
So Robert made his way back down the hall, Riley still screaming in his ear as he pushed open the nursery door and made his way over to the changing table. He wasn’t sure if he was in the room for even 10 seconds before another Loud cry was heard, if possible Bennett’s screaming Aaronder than his sister.
“Guy’s c’mon,” Robert muttered, not wanting them to wake Aaron up and make the older lad come in here to help him.
He just wanted his boyfriend to actually get some sleep tonight but with these two crying every two hours it seemed near impossible.
“You tried love.”
Robert picked his head up, a small breath escaping him as he saw Aaron shuffle into the room and pick Bennett up to calm him down. “Aaron it’s fine, really. I can handle both of them, it’s okay.”
“Oh really?” Aaron asked a tad amused. “What’ve you got on your shirt there love?”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he threw out a wipe he was using to clean his daughter but immediately felt his face fall as he saw his newly poop stained tee.
“And on your arm.”
And of course when he lifted up his arm there was poop there as well. “How the hell did this happen?”
Aaron laughed to himself as he gently bounced the newborn in his arms, shushing him and kissing his head. “You’ll get the hang of it R, don’t worry,” he said, knowing this wouldn’t be the first time he got poop on him. He’s lucky he hasn’t been peed on yet, that’s a sight Aaron can’t wait for.
Robert let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself and finished cleaning Riley up, buttoning her onesie and pulling her into his chest, finally quieting her cries. “My book says that it’s good for newborns to get on a schedule. Like around 2 to 4 months they should be sleeping regularly and everything.”
“Your book is right,” Aaron hummed, finding it absolutely adorable that Robert has been reading as much as he can about babies.
“Did Holden start to sleep better when he was that old?”
Aaron scoffed, immediately shaking his head and trying to hold back a laugh. “That little booger had to be held 24/7, always crying and needing something, I swear.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded to himself and rocked his daughter in his arms, trying to lull her back to sleep. Thankfully Bennett had quieted down almost as soon as he was in his daddy’s arms, and Robert couldn’t get over how good Aaron was at all of this. The older lad knew exactly what to do, how to calm one of the twins down and knew when to feed them or change them, and just at that Robert only felt worse.
“R you alright?” Aaron asked softly, seeing his boyfriend deep in thought.
“Yeah, yeah,” Robert nodded quickly before pressing a kiss to Riley’s nose and gently placed her back in her crib. “Ready to get back to bed?”
Aaron hummed, eyeing the younger lad for a second before placing Bennett in his own crib and kissing him. “Here love, give me your shirt, I’ll throw it in the wash real quick and you can scrub your arm.”
Robert pulled off his shirt and passed it to Aaron, the older lad immediately taking it and heading straight for the washer down stairs as Robert went back to the bedroom to wipe off his poop covered arm. And when he made his way back from the bathroom Aaron was already in bed, pulling the covers over himself and getting comfortable.
“C’mere,” Aaron whispered, pulling the green eyed lad towards him as he got into bed.
Robert didn’t need to be told twice, tucking himself right into Aaron’s side and allowing the older lad to wrap his arms around him.
“R what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Robert mumbled into his neck.
“Robert,” Aaron said seriously, knowing something was going on with him.
Robert laid there quiet for a moment, just let out a few deep breaths and focused on Aaron’s hand running up and down his bare back. “...I’m sorry,” he barely whispered. “I just… I look at the twins, and I wonder what he was like as a baby.”
Aaron swallowed thickly, his eyes falling upon the younger lad resting on his chest. He knew Robert was talking about Holden, and from that he knew what was wrong, why he was upset.
“I should’ve been there with you,” Robert said so quietly that even in the silent room he wasn’t sure if Aaron heard him. “I wasn’t there to help you when he cried and I’ll never know what his favorite toy was, or the blankie that you gave him to calm him down...I-... I’ll never be able to think back to the first time he smiled or crawled or even walked… I don’t know if he was a happy baby, or a moody one, or one that gurgled and laughed at everything he saw. And if he did do those things I’ll never have the memory of him doing it, never be able to hear his little giggles or remember the first time he reached for me. There are so many memories that I desperately want with him, but it’s too late to get them.”
Aaron could hear that Robert was near tears, that just at the thought of everything he missed with Holden was breaking him down. “Love,” he said softly, picking Robert’s head up so he would look at him. “When’s the first time you made Holden smile? You remember that?”
Robert sniffled to himself, wiping away the single tear that escaped him as he nodded. “It’s when I found him lost in the school,” he said quietly. “I told him that I’d help him get to your classroom and that I didn’t want him worrying about losing his uncle Ross,” Robert said, a smile forming just at the thought back to that day.
“And the first time he hugged you, what about that?”
“It was uhm, well it was the first night you invited me over for dinner… Holden was getting ready for bed and he said goodnight and hugged the life out of me,” Robert said through a small laugh.
“The first time he said I love you?” Aaron asked, his own grin creeping onto his lips as he rubbed the younger lad’s back.
At that Robert just thought for a second, memories of his son crying into his neck and whispering “I love you” as he was about to board a plane. “I was leaving for an award show and he said it,” he whispered, remembering the moment all too well. “When he said it I felt like I couldn’t breathe, in the best way… I had never heard something so amazing…”
Aaron pulled Robert impossibly closer, pressing a kiss to his head and burying his nose in his hair. “Those are your firsts with him love, those are the memories that are only for you two,” he said softly. “I know it’s not the same as him being a baby, and I’m sorry for that,” Aaron said just Loud enough for the younger lad to hear. “But you’re here now and there are plenty of other firsts for you.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded against Aaron, knowing he’ll have to remind himself of that every time he starts thinking like this.
“And R?” Aaron asked, earning a small hum from his boyfriend. “I uhm… I know you’ve been getting up with the twins every time they cry because you feel bad and guilty that you weren’t there the first time…” he said quietly. “But we’re a team love, I don’t want you too feel like you have to do everything on your own.”
Robert carefully picked his head off of Aaron’s chest, knowing there was no way to play it off like that wasn’t how he was feeling. He couldn’t help but let the guilt consume him, let the thoughts of Aaron being just 22 years old, trying to finish up uni and have a newborn that needed constant attention run wild through his head. Robert wanted to make up for the time he was gone, wanted to give the older lad a break, but Aaron was right. If he kept up the pace he was going there was no doubt in Robert’s mind that he would slip into insanity from lack of sleep or would be covered in poop and not know it.
So he nodded at his boyfriend, earning a soft smile from him before Aaron brushed his fingers through the back of his curls and pulled him down for a gentle kiss. As soon as Robert pulled away though he was sure the older lad fell right to sleep, and he didn’t blame him. They did have to get up in about two hours to get Holden ready for school, and with that thought Robert didn’t waste a second himself before settling against Aaron and falling right to sleep.
*~*
“Well hello handsome.”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully as he allowed Clara into the house, knowing he looked like a right mess. His hair was everywhere, his shirt was coated in spit up and he probably smelt like pee, but this was going to be the norm for a bit.
“What can we do for ya today?” he asked, leading her towards the living room.
“Well I have to talk to R about some business stuff, he’s here, isn’t he?”
Aaron hummed a small laugh escaping him as he pointed to his boyfriend who was very heavily sleeping on the couch. “I just put the twins down so he’s using it to his advantage,” he said, Robert’s mouth hung open and his snoring almost sounding like a lawn mower.
“I should let him sleep, he looks worse than you do,” Clara chuckled, settling herself on the other couch. “Holden’s at school?”
“Thankfully,” Aaron breathed out, throwing himself into a chair, ready to pass out himself. “Day 1 with the twins at home and we’re already dead.”
“How long are you on leave from work?”
“I took the rest of the year off, it’s just 3 months I’m missing,” Aaron said through a yawn. “My students were so sweet when I had my last day, they made me promise to keep them updated on the twins and send them pictures.”
Clara hummed, a small smile coming to her as she looked at the older lad. “I actually just put out a piece today about the twins, saying when they were born and their names. So far, very, very good reactions.”
“Well that’s good.”
Clara raised her eyebrows as she saw Aaron slowly slipping into sleep, and then there was Robert who was still sleeping like he hadn’t in years, but in a split second all of that changed.
“Baby,” Robert snapped his head up, hearing a Loud cry. “Baby up, I gotta-,” he yawned, slowly sitting up. “I gotta get the- get the baby.”
“Love Clara is here to talk to you. I’ll get the baby,” Aaron said, his eyes still closed and looking like he had no plans of moving.
Robert blinked a few times, rubbing his hands over his face and glanced up to find a very amused looking Clara. “Uhm hi.”
“Well hey,” Clara laughed quietly, watching the younger lad slowly get up. “I won’t be here long, we just have a few things to go over.”
Robert nodded, letting out another yawn before he brushed his fingers through Aaron’s hair. “Love you gonna get’em or do you want me to?”
“No, no, it’s okay, you guys go talk,” Aaron said, actually getting up this time and heading towards the stairs, grateful only one of the twins woke up.
Robert said a quiet “okay”, wanting to make this quick so he could help Aaron out and let him get some sleep. So he led Clara up to his music room, closing the door behind him and throwing himself into one of the cushioned seats.
“Have you seen the piece I sent out today about the twins?” Clara asked, taking a seat across from him.
“No, I’ve been too busy getting peed on,” Robert mumbled.
Clara bit back a laugh, earning a small glare from the younger lad. “Isn’t your family supposed to be helping you guys out?”
“Yeah but they’re all sight seeing or something today, I dunno. They’ll be back tonight and are staying for a week before they go back home.”
“Good, you boys could use some help,” and again Robert just glared at her. “But anyway, everyone is loving the piece on the twins, they’re going crazy over the names and now they’re aching for a few pictures, or maybe some videos. The public hasn’t seen them yet so they’re a little desperate. I was thinking you could post something on Twitter or Instagram later.”
“Sure,” Robert hummed, nodding to himself.
“Also I talked to James from your label and he wanted me to talk to you about something,” Clara said slowly, not sure how Robert would react to this. “Since you’re gonna be on break for a while they want you to work from home and come out with another album.”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he picked his head up and looked at the older woman like she had gone mad. “They do realize we have two newborns right? And they want an album, are you kidding me? When do they expect me to do this?”
“You have a while to do it R, don’t worry.”
“Okay, when then?”
Clara let out a quiet breath, running her fingers through her hair and sitting back in her seat. “They want it early November so you can be nominated for the AMA’s, Grammy’s and Brit awards.”
Robert threw his head back, groaning into his hands but nodding anyways. That was plenty of time to write an album, but still, he wanted to be here for the kids and Aaron as much as possible. Recording and writing an album meant he had to be away from them, going to these award shows also meant travelling and there would be promotion for the album, taking up even more time.
“They promised me time off… They said if I went on tour I could have a break.”
“I know they did R,” Clara said softly. “But when I talked to James he said it would still be minimal travel, and you can even record here, you don’t have to go to the studio.”
“Well do I even have a say? I mean want to talk to Aaron about this, I told him I would be home, and you and I both know that with an album comes promotion, and that means travel. They can say it’s minimal but that’s bull shit if they want good sales, I’ll have to travel,” Robert said, straining himself to not just start screaming.
“But Robert if you think about it by then the twins will be almost a year old, it’s not like we’re asking you to hop on a plane next weekend.”
Robert shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a deep breath. “I’ll talk to Aaron and call James tomorrow.”
Clara nodded slowly, standing up and giving the younger lad’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before she let herself out.
Robert just sat there for a moment, tried to calm down and relax before he made his way back downstairs to find Aaron.
“Hey love, everything okay?” Aaron asked as he bounced Riley on his chest, seeing the younger lad looking a bit stressed.
“I don’t know,” Robert groaned, picking up a whining Bennett from his rocker and bringing him over to the couch to lay down. “They want me to write an album by November and I just… I don’t know.”
“But they said you could get time off,” Aaron said quietly.
Robert hummed, still not sure how he felt about all of this. He explained it all to Aaron like Clara had to him, and already he could see that the older lad was hesitant about the idea.
“Daddy!! Papa! Where the babies?!”
The two winced as they heard Holden crash through the house, followed by Loud and multiple other footsteps walk through the house.
“We’ll talk about it later love,” Aaron said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Robert’s cheek and earning a small nod from the younger lad.
“Oh there’s my beautiful granddaughter!” Diane said happily, taking the newborn and securing her in her arms. “Aaron, sweetheart go shower, you smell terrible.”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully and scoffed, but at the same time he doesn’t think a shower has ever sounded so amazing. “Thanks for picking Holden up. How was your guys’ day?”
“We had a lovely day exploring the city,” Diane said, smiling at Riley and getting a blank stare back from her. “But now that we’re here we’ll give and R a break. Go clean up love, it’s okay.”
Aaron got it, he really smelt bad so he offered the older woman a grateful smile before heading back into the living room. He saw Jack was helping Holden hold Bennett and at the sight Aaron couldn’t help the soft smile that came to him. He loved how careful and gentle Holden was with his siblings, how much the 4 year old cared for them.
He was always asking to hold them, help feed them and even Aaron noticed this morning before they got Holden ready for school his son would try to entertain them while they were in the rockers. Bennett and Riley watched their older brother shake a stuffed animal in front of them or smile slightly as he played peek-a-boo with them. And Aaron thought he wouldn’t mind mornings so much if that’s what he got to watch everyday before they got Holden ready for school.
*~*
“So cute,” Holden whispered, running a gentle hand over his baby brother’s head and kissing his tiny nose. “Don’t tell Riley but you a lot easier. You don’t cry so much.”
Robert bit his lip, trying to keep in a laugh as he pulled out his phone and started filming the two. “What’re you doin big guy?” he asked softly.
“Holding Bennett,” the 4 year old said, balancing his brother on his chest and gently rubbing his back as the newborn slept.
“Oh yeah?” Robert asked, his smile only growing as he saw how careful Holden was with him, how Bennett had the faintest grin on his face as he stretched and made little noises in his brother’s arms. “Well do you think I could hold him?”
“No,” Holden said, kissing his baby brother’s head and offering his finger for the newborn to hold, his tiny hand immediately wrapping around it.
Robert raised his eyebrows at that, unable to get over how cute the two were. “Well buddy it’s your bedtime and Benji is tired too.”
Holden acted as if he hadn’t heard his father, instead just pulled his brother impossibly closer and smiled as he gurgled nonsense to himself.
Robert wasn’t even sure if he should try to detach the two, Holden keeping one of the twins attached to him ever since he came home from school. So instead of taking Bennett from Holden he let the two be, turning his attention and camera to Aaron on the other couch, snoring Aaronder than any other human should as Riley was fast asleep on his chest.
He only focused on them for a little bit before he ended the video and pulled up Twitter to post the video.
@Robert_Sugden: Nap time is our favorite time ! Here’s to the first day home with the twins x
And so he posted it to Instagram as well, doing as Clara told him, and of course there were immediate reactions but he would check those later. Right now Robert had to get his family to bed.
*~*
Robert shifted the bags he had in his hands as he trudged up the front steps, trying not to drop anything. He swears he practically bought the store because they were running out of absolutely everything at home. The fact that they actually had food and wouldn’t have to order take was weird and foreign but such a big relief.
His family only stayed for a week and now with them gone Robert was just mildly more lost than he was before. But at least he managed to go outside for the first time in forever, even if it was just to the store to stock up the house.
“Aaron?” he asked quietly as once all the bags were brought in, not sure if the babies and Aaron were sleeping.
Robert made his way into the living room, and just at glancing around he knew this room much like the rest of the house desperately needed to be cleaned. “Hey love, I got everything. Sorry it took me so long I ran into a couple fans at the-” he stopped himself, quickly walking over to his boyfriend and kneeling in front of him as he saw the older lad furiously wiping his wet eyes. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Aaron bit his lip as he shook his head, looking anywhere except for the green eyed lad.
“Did something happen with the twins? Are they okay? Are they-”
“They’re fine, they’re okay,” Aaron said quickly, seeing Robert grow more and more worried. “They’re in their rockers sleeping, see.”
Robert let out a relieved breath as he glanced behind him and saw the twins sleeping peacefully. “Well then what’s wrong love? Whats got you all upset?”
Aaron sniffled to himself, wiping his wet cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater, not even sure if he wanted to talk about it. If anything he just wanted to forget it happened and move on with his life, pretend the older woman didn’t even exist but Aaron knew Robert would keep asking until he told him.
“My uhm… My mum called.”
Robert stilled for a second, carefully taking Aaron’s hands in his and rubbing his thumbs over his skin. He knows the older lad hasn’t talked to his mum for nearly a year, he never even called to tell her they were expecting again, but Robert understood why, the woman was a terrible person. Everything she said was a blatant insult and Aaron wanted nothing to do with her.
“What’d she want?” Robert asked quietly, moving to sit next to the older lad and pull him into his side.
“She heard the news about the twins,” Aarons barely whispered. “She also talked to Pete’s mum and felt the need to yell at me about both, how I apparently fucked up mine and his relationship… And she said that she heard we were expecting when the first news about it came out, but she thought I was doing it for publicity, that there wasn’t actually a baby coming and that I wanted attention… Even though I told her about the twins and explained none of that was true she didn’t believe me, she doesn’t think they’re yours and that I cheated on you and that- that she doesn’t know why you’re still with me. She just- she-...”
Robert hushed the older lad, pulling him impossibly closer to his side and kissing his head but it was almost immediate he felt tears on his neck. “It’s all bull shit and you know it… You know none of that is true, she’s just trying to hurt you.”
“But why?” Aaron asked, trying his absolute hardest to not yell. “I’m her son! I haven’t done anything to her!! I mean the least she could do is pretend that she gives a shit about her grandkids!”
“I know, I know,” Robert said softly, wanting Aaron to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake the twins.
He can’t even say how many times Aaron and him have talked about his mum, how many times he’s told the older lad to forget about her and all the shit she says. But Robert can’t even imagine how hard it must be to be talked down to like Aaron is by his mum.
“Babe you know it’s not against you… She’s just… She’s hurt about what your dad did and she takes it out on you, that’s all.”
“So what? Is that supposed to make it okay?!” Aaron asked, trying desperately to stop his constant crying, tucking himself closer into Robert’s neck.
“No, of course it doesn’t,” Robert said quietly into the older lad’s hair, rubbing his back and doing anything he could to calm him down.
Getting into Aaron’s family business was always messy, and talking about it hurt the older lad. Robert knew all about how Aaron’s dad left his mum after his second sister was born for another man. The blue eyed lad was only 5 when his father left and never looked back, but it was also when his mum turned his back on him, when she stopped caring for him. To her Aaron was just like his father, and when he grew up and came out to her she only treated him worse.
“You’re better than what she says love and you know it,” Robert said almost firmly.
“It still hurts,” Aaron said, squeezing his eyes shut so no more tears could escape.
Robert let out a quiet breath, nodding as he pulled Aaron even closer, nearly having the older lad sitting on his lap so he could calm him down.
“I knew it was stupid to pick up the phone when I saw her name,” Aaron sniffled to himself as he shook his head. “I thought that maybe she heard about the twins and wanted to see them or know about them… I thought she wanted to apologize…”
“I’m sorry Aaron… I’m so so sorry…”
Aaron slightly pulled away from the younger lad, wiping his stinging eyes and letting out hiccuped breaths. “I’m done with her, done with all of them.”
“Who’s them?”
“My mum, Pete, I can’t do it anymore,” Aaron barely said. “I’m so fucking sick of getting hurt, I’m done.”
“I don’t want you getting hurt either love, do whatever makes you happy,” Robert said softly, wiping the older lad’s wet cheeks and kissing away his tears. “You can block their numbers or I can even get you a new phone and a new number,” he offered. “I want to do anything so you don’t feel like this, tell me what you want me to do.”
Aaron tucked his head back into Robert’s neck, releasing a few deep breaths before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close. “Tell me you love me.”
Robert let a small laugh slip, his smile growing as he leaned down and kissed the older lad’s hair. “I love you… So fuckin much,” and it was only a second later he felt Aaron grinning against him, pressing his lips to his neck quickly before resting his head on his shoulder.
“I love you too.”
*~*
Robert rubbed his hands over his face frustratedly as he leaned over his desk, staring down at the blank page in front of him before a Loud cry came over the baby monitor. “C’mon Benji,” he muttered, hearing his son’s wail but of course then his sister had to join in.
“Robert can you get them?!”
“Yeah!” he yelled back, already pushing himself out of his seat and heading out of his music room.
“Papa I’ll help!” Holden said, already running down the hall with Addi on his heels.
“Oh good cause I can’t handle those two all by myself,” Robert joked, following his son into the nursery.
“Rob!! Out of Benji’s crib, you’re making him sad!” Holden said, scurrying over to his baby brother’s crib and stepping on his stool to scoop the cat out of it. “You can’t wake the babies, I tell you this so many times!”
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he picked Bennett up and balanced him on his chest before going over to Riley’s crib and carefully picking her up as well. “He’s a cat buddy, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell him, he’s still gonna do it.”
Holden eyed his cat, putting him down and telling him yet again to stay out of his siblings’ cribs. “Papa give me Riley, I calm her down.”
“I’ll give her to you if we go downstairs and you sit on the couch,” Robert said, seeing the 4 year old making grabby hands for his baby sister, but didn’t want him to hold her by himself.
Holden groaned, his papa always making him sit before he holds his siblings. “Can we just go for a walk instead? We can take the twins out and I walk Addi,” he said ruffling the dog’s ears.
“Sure buddy, let’s go see if daddy wants to come,” Robert said, balancing the two babies on his chest before following his son downstairs.
“Handsome man, why did you start crying huh?” Aaron asked through a soft smile, taking Bennett from Robert and kissing the newborn, making him gurgle to himself.
“Rob got a little curious,” Robert explained, earning a hum from the older lad. “Why’re you all sweaty love? You working out or something?”
Aaron shook his head as he made faces at his son, getting the newborn to smile at him. “I’ve just been cleaning. God knows the house needed it.”
Robert scoffed, more than grateful Aaron had cleaned because no one has since they brought the twins home nearly three weeks ago. “Well take a break love, R here wanted to go for a walk and the twins could use some air,” he said, gently bouncing Riley on his chest and smiling down at her.
Aaron nodded, already seeing Holden getting ready to take Addi out. So he and Robert got their own shoes and coats on, and made sure to bundle the twins up in their stroller so they wouldn’t feel the April chill.
“Look how freaking adorable they are,” Robert said, quietly laughing to himself as he looked down at the twins and saw them gurgling and stretching in their seats. “We make some pretty cute kids.”
“Yeah we do,” Aaron hummed through his own smile, feeling the younger lad kiss his temple.
It was hard to get over just how cute the twins were. The two were a complete mix of him and Robert, having blue eyes and Aaron’s nose but Robert’s dimples and getting his dark brown hair the older they got, even though it was the tiniest amount on their little heads. They were almost completely identical, except for their personalities.
Riley loved to screech and yell while her brother was much more relaxed and was happy to just suck on his fingers or watch his older brother play peek-a-boo with him. Riley was a bit harder, seeming like she always needed attention or had to be in someone’s arms, and already Aaron knew Robert was going to spoil her rotten. The younger lad already does, but Aaron got it, she was their little girl after all.
“How’s the songwriting going love?” he asked, slowly following after Holden with the stroller down the street.
“It’s not,” Robert laughed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Aaron I seriously don’t know what I’m gonna do… I haven’t been able to get a single thing done and with Holden’s birthday coming up and summer just around the corner and let’s not forget about the twins I don’t want to be cooped up in the music studio.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he nodded and glanced down at the mumbling twins. “Do you still have your journals? Like the ones with all the songs you’ve written but never actually recorded? I mean you can look through those and see if any are good, and I know one song you can record today and get that put on the album.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, everything Aaron just said being absolutely genius. “What song?”
“If I Could Fly,” Aaron said through a soft smile. “You only ever sent it to me, and it’s beautiful, might as well record it.”
“Yeah papa, it made daddy cry,” Holden said, skipping along with Addi at his side.
Aaron rolled his eyes, gently shoving his son’s head and making him giggle. “When we get home record it, I can handle the three monsters for a bit.”
Robert couldn’t believe what he was hearing, thinking he should’ve talked to Aaron about this sooner and save himself a few headaches. “Have I told you how much I love you today?”
Aaron pulled a thinking face, tapping his finger to his chin jokingly. “I don’t think so, no.”
“Oh, well in that case,” Robert stopped the older lad from walking, surprising him by wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing their lips together.
“Stop,” Holden groaned as soon as he saw his daddies kissing. “You’re so gross you gonna makes the twins spit up.”
The two couldn’t help the laughs that escaped them, Robert making sure to peck his boyfriend’s lips one last time before they continued on their walk. And when they got home a half hour later luckily the twins were fast asleep and Robert was able to get the first song of many recorded for his new album.
*~*
Robert picked his head up as he heard Riley in her rocker, stretching and yawning for only a second before she fell right back to sleep. He hated how big she already was at a month and a half old, Bennett too, being a bit bigger than his sister and showed no signs of stopping.
Holden had already turned 5 and his son was almost done with his first year of school, Robert wanted time to stop. He wanted his kids to stay this little forever, for them to not have a care in the world. And Robert knew it couldn’t stay this way, knew they were going to grow up, but at least for now he had his babygirl and little boy as babies, and Holden being his rowdy and adorable self.
“What’re you doin love? Can’t you stay asleep for more than 5 minutes?” Robert laughed quietly, getting up from his desk, walking over to Riley in her rocker and offering her his finger.
And of course it wasn’t even a second later the newborn’s small cries stopped, placing her papa’s finger in her mouth and nibbling on it.
“You gonna let papa write some music or are you gonna keep eating me?” Robert asked, picking up her pacifier and placing that in her mouth instead.
He was hoping that Riley would fall asleep but instead his daughter just stared right back at him with her big blue eyes as she sucked on her pacifier.
Robert knew it wouldn’t be that easy, Riley was nothing like her brother when it came to sleep. Bennett’s favorite thing to do was sleep, him being possibly the laziest newborn the world has ever seen. So that’s why he was sleeping like a good child should be in the middle of the night and Riley was wide awake, begging for some kind of attention.
And it worked out for Robert, now him not having to be lonely as he worked in the music room, shuffling through old song lyrics and trying to come up with something for this album. But at the same time it screwed with his sleep schedule, it being nearly 3 am and while Aaron was fast asleep Robert was wide awake. Maybe it was just that Bennett was just like Aaron while Riley was like her papa. Robert had a feeling she would be a late night thinker like him anyway.
“Maybe I should write a song about you, huh?” Robert whispered, rubbing his thumb over his daughter’s tiny hand. “You’re my only little girl after all, have to treat you like the princess you are,” he laughed, still just getting a blank stare from the newborn.
He couldn’t help but feel his smile widen, even just looking at his daughter made his heart swell, she was so, so beautiful.
Robert felt Riley wrap her hand around his finger, holding it gently as she kept her gaze on him. He pulled out his phone, opening his camera and focusing on the newborn before pressing record.
“Isn’t she lovely?” he sang, looking at his daughter like she was the most fragile thing in the world, like as long as he was here nothing bad was ever going to happen to her. “Isn’t she wonderful? Isn’t she precious? Less than 1 minute old, and I never thought through love we’d be making one as lovely as she. But isn’t she lovely? Made from love.”
And Robert would lie if he said that no, he didn’t start tearing up as he watched Riley’s pacifier fall out of her mouth, a soft smile coming over the newborn as she heard her papa singing. But he stopped recording and kept singing until he saw his daughter’s eyes slowly fall shut, only then giving her a gentle kiss and taking his finger out of her hand.
@Robert_Sugden: Late night song writing with papa x
Robert posted it on Twitter, his smile never leaving his face as he took a seat at his piano and continued with the song. He didn’t sing, but let his fingers glide across the keys gently as he continued with the melody of the song, hoping to actually keep Riley asleep.
Robert wasn’t sure how long he was playing, hoping that sooner rather than later a song idea might pop into his head. But when he felt a pair of arms carefully wrap around his neck and lips press to his head he didn’t need to look to know who it was. And with that Robert changed the song, almost immediately earning a quiet laugh from the older lad as he recognized it. (X)
Aaron slowly let Robert go, taking a seat next to him on the piano bench and just listened to him play. He could never get sick of watching and hearing Robert play, the younger lad constantly getting lost in what he was doing, humming along with the music and using his whole body to play.
And of course it was over too soon, but Aaron was surprised that as soon as Robert was finished he felt the younger lad’s lips on his, his fingers lost in his hair while his other hand cupped his cheek.
“Coming to bed soon love?” he asked through a small laugh as soon as Robert slowly pulled away.
“I managed to knock the monster out so I suppose so,” Robert said jokingly, glancing over at Riley and surprised to find her still asleep.
Aaron smiled back at him, kissing the younger lad one more time before getting up and heading towards the rocker to get Riley out of it. “There we go sweet girl, it’s okay,” he said softly, getting a yawn and few little noises out of the newborn as she stretched against his chest.
“Benji still sleeping?” Robert whispered, following the younger lad down the hall.
“Passed right out, just like his daddy.”
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he watched Aaron place Riley in her crib, the two of them kissing her gently and checking on Bennett before leaving the room. “I’ll be right there love, just wanna check on R.”
“What? Babe c’mon, he’s fine and sleeping, come to bed.”
“I will, I promise, I’ll be quick.”
Aaron looked at his boyfriend for a second, not able to fend off his smile as he shook his head and shuffled to their bedroom.
And with that Robert turned on his heel, making his way to the other end of the hall and reaching Holden’s bedroom door. He gently pushed it open, and made sure to tip toe into the room, and just at hearing his son’s little snores Robert’s grin only grew.
It was crazy to Robert how big Holden has gotten, how he had more energy than ever. It was quiet moments like this that Robert just liked to sit with his son, remember the time when he first met him when he was 3 and had no idea he was his father. But now Holden was 5 and everything has changed, and it was everything Robert has ever wanted. And when he finally left his son’s bed, making sure to give him a soft kiss before getting up the same thought kept running through his head. When Aaron’s arm wrapped around him once he made it to bed it was still there. The thought that this is his family, this is his life, and there was absolutely nothing he would do to change it.
Notes:
A little chapter full of fluff, hope you like it ! I edited this on my phone while I was getting a tattoo, so sorry if there a some mistakes xD I wanted to get it out ASAP for you guys since finals are coming up for me. Thoughts on the chapter ?? I think there will only be two more updates :( Share opinions, kudos are nice and comments are cool. Thanks x
Chapter 21
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Papa?”
Robert picked his head up, a smile immediately coming to him as he saw Holden’s little head pop in. “Hey, buddy, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” Holden breathed out as he shrugged and walked into the room, taking a seat in front of his father’s desk. “Just miss you.”
Robert’s smile faltered for a second, biting his lip and nodding at the 5 year old. “I miss you too big guy,” he said softly. “I know I’ve been working a lot, I’m sorry.”
And all Holden did was shrug again, knowing his papa was trying his hardest to finish his work quickly. “Well I can help papa, I’m a real good singer and I’m learning how to write some.”
“Oh yeah?” Robert laughed quietly, looking back down to his paper and picking his pen up. “I know you’re a good singer buddy, probably better than me.”
“No way,” Holden scoffed, hopping off his chair and walking towards his papa, moving his arm so he could climb in his lap.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the 5 year old as he made himself comfortable on his lap, but couldn’t help himself as he rolled his eyes fondly and kissed his son’s head. “How’re the twins? They napping?”
“Yeah and daddy is running in the gym so I’m bored,” Holden groaned, resting against his father’s chest.
“Well buddy, why don’t you help papa with some lyrics?”
Holden sat right up as his papa passed him some paper and a pen and immediately went to work. And as Robert looked over his son’s shoulder it took everything in him to not let out a Loud laugh. All the 5 year old was doing was scribbling his name everywhere and all the words Robert figures he’s been learning at school. Just cat, hat and all those other easy three lettered words.
All he did was kiss his son’s head before getting back to writing, finally feeling like this album was going somewhere. He has about five songs he found in his journals and was thankfully able to record them, and Robert has to say that he is pleasantly surprised with how they’ve all turned out. But now he was working on writing a new song, this one being all about his little girl. (X)
“Papa these all the words I know,” Holden said, biting his lip as he realized it wasn’t all that much.
“It’s a great start buddy,” Robert smiled at him, rubbing his back reassuringly. “When I’m done with this I’ll go through it with you and I’m sure we can come up with something.”
Holden nodded, earning yet another kiss from his papa before he watched his father get right back to work. He just watched him write, loving his handwriting and wishing he could read what he was putting on the paper. But Holden was sure if he asked his papa he would sing it for him.
“Alright, big guy what do you want to do?” Robert asked once he was done writing.
“Sing!”
Robert laughed, figuring the 5 year old would want to do something like that. “Okay buddy, come over here and we’ll sing.”
Holden skipped off to his papa’s recording booth, grabbing his stool that his father keeps in there for him and placing it right in front of the microphone. “Papa I want I’m gonna find another you,” he said, already placing headphones over his ears.
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he scDianed over his guitars, figuring out which one to use. Of course, he knew that Holden would make himself comfortable, him loving whenever they had time to sing or play instruments together, the 5 year old was never shy about what he wanted to do.
“You care if we record it?”
“No,” Holden scoffed if anything loving when his papa recorded them so he could watch and listen to them playing whenever he wanted.
So Robert got his guitar and situated the microphones and camera, knowing his mum and the fans always loved these videos. He got his own pair of headphones, plugged in his guitar and glanced at his son, seeing he was more than ready to sing.
Robert smiled over at the 5 year old before he started the beginning of the song, Holden almost immediately closing his eyes and swaying where he stood, just as he opened his mouth to sing. And Robert doesn’t know how, but his smile only grew as he heard his son’s little voice, saw how much Holden loved to sing. He had to admit it, for a 5 year old his boy had a good little voice, and if he kept going to way he was Robert didn’t doubt for a second that Holden would follow in his footsteps.
“You’re definitely my son,” Robert murmured playfully once they finished the song, making Holden giggle. “You wanna sing another one or practice some piano?”
“Uhm can we do piano? But then after I wanna play guitar cause I practicing all the time but I still need help with this one.”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, a laugh immediately escaping him as he saw his son making a G chord with his fingers in the air but it looked like a claw. “Okay, buddy, c’mon.”
He and Aaron had gotten Holden a guitar for his birthday and he’s been learning piano little by little for almost a year now, but lately Robert noticed that the 5 year old had really taken to music, he wanted to do it all the time.
As soon as Holden situated himself at the piano Robert began shuffling through some of his sheet music, trying to find the songs he wrote just for Holden to practice with. When he wrote out this music he knew it would help with 5 year old’s technique but were also easy and sounded good.
“How about we try this one today,” he said, placing a new song in front of his son. “Okay so let’s check the key signature first, what key is this one in?”
Holden bit his lip as he looked at the paper and swung his little legs back and forth. “A flat and the time signature is 4/4!”
“Perfect, good job buddy,” Robert said happily, getting comfortable next to him on the bench. “And what’s our first note?”
“D!” Holden said, but then quickly shook his head. “Wait no! D flat cause the key is A flat!”
Robert looked at his son surprised, thinking he would’ve tricked him a bit with that one. “Alright genius, you know what to do next, get into position and let’s see how we do at sight reading.”
He made sure Holden put his hands where they needed to go and smiled to himself as he watched his son begin to play. He would glance up at the music and then back to his hands every now and then, a habit Robert knew he would have to break but Holden was still learning, he knew once the 5 year old got more comfortable with the instrument he wouldn’t feel the need to look down at all.
Robert watched Holden, picked out things he needed to work on and he was happy to see his son trying over and over again until he got it right and was able to play it fluidly. “You keep practicing buddy, I’m gonna go talk to daddy real quick.”
And Holden just nodded, smiling as he felt his papa kiss his head and heard him walk out of the room.
Robert made his way to the gym, not at all surprised that Aaron was working out as he’s been desperate to get rid of his baby fat since the twins were born 3 months ago. But when he walked into the room he couldn’t help but catcall at his boyfriend, seeing him running shirtless and in a nice pair of shorts with sweat absolutely coating him.
“Well hello,” he said through a laugh, seeing the older lad go pink in the cheeks. “I’m looking for my boyfriend, gorgeous blue eyes, soft brown hair, is about 5’6”.”
“I’m 5’9” you ass,” Aaron muttered, trying desperately to hide his blush as he stopped the machine.
“Well don’t stop on my account,” Robert hummed, walking towards Aaron and resting his hands on his waist.
“I don’t need you to see me jiggle everywhere,” Aaron laughed quietly.
“Even if you jiggle in all the right places?”
And Aaron didn’t know it was possible for his face to get this hot as he felt the younger lad squeezing at his bum. “You’re such a menace,” he said, but it wasn’t even a second later he was standing on his toes to kiss his boyfriend.
Robert hummed against him, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around the older lad as he deepened the kiss. He would never get sick of feeling Aaron’s lips against his, feel his boyfriend’s hands travel up his sides, through his hair and down his backside. But of course it couldn’t last forever, the older lad just barely pulling away and pecking Robert’s lips one last time so he could catch his breath.
“Did you come down here to interrupt my workout and snog?” Aaron asked jokingly, playing the with hairs at the back of the younger lad’s neck.
“If I say yes can we pick it back up?” Robert raised his eyebrows, earning a playful smack to the chest from his boyfriend. “But really I wanted to talk to you about LA and then an idea I had for a song on the album.”
Aaron hummed, actually excited about going to LA for the summer with Robert’s family and their mates. He knew it would be more than a great time with everyone, especially taking the twins to the beach for the first time.
“So you know we’re leaving this weekend and I was wondering if you could make a list of everything you want me to get for the twins. I have no clue what they’ll need for travelling and I wanna be prepared.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly, Robert always needing and wanting to be prepared for any situation that has to do with the twins. “I’ll do it tonight and we can go shopping tomorrow.”
“Perfect,” Robert said happily. “And secondly, I need your help with a song that I want to record tonight.”
“Uhm sure,” Aaron shrugged. “What do you need help with? Like lyrics or piano or something?”
“Well no, not exactly…” Robert scratched the back of his neck, knowing he would have to convince Aaron a bit for this. “I was really hoping you would uhm… Would record a song with me, like a duet.”
“To go on the album?” Aaron asked quietly, seeing the younger lad nod and bite his lip. “That’s like uhm… Like millions of people listening to me and uh… I uhm, I dunno.”
Robert could immediately see Aaron’s hesitance, just at the thought of being on the album terrifying him. “Babe you have an amazing voice, and remember when you surprised me in LA and sang that song with me? It was so good and everyone loved it, and I have the perfect song, please?”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, really not sure he wanted to hear himself on Robert’s album. “I’ll think about it love.”
Robert smiled down at Aaron, that being good enough for him before he dipped his head and gently connected their lips. “Thank you,” he said softly against him.
Aaron smiled against the younger lad, pecking his lips and pulling away so he could finish his workout.
“Babe don’t forget we’re leaving for the game in two hours,” Robert reminded him as he watched his boyfriend walk back over to the treadmill.
“I know, I’ll be done in a half hour,” he said, picking up the speed of the machine below him. “Don’t forget to get the twins up soon. We don’t want them up all night and they need to get changed before the game.”
“Already have their kits picked out,” Robert grinned over at him, looking forward to this footie game for a week now.
Aaron smiled back at him and winked at his boyfriend before he turned his attention to running. He knew Robert was excited about the Arsenal and Manchester game, desperately wanting to get out of the house and not be cooped up in the music room anymore. That and any opportunity the younger lad had to show off the kids he was going to take advantage of it.
When Aaron was finished with his workout he hopped off the treadmill and picked up his towel, wiping his wet forehead with it as he made his way upstairs. And as soon as he got to the top of stairs Aaron was happy to hear Loud squeals coming from the living room, the twins definitely being up and Robert or Holden entertaining them.
“What’re you doing to my handsome man?” Aaron asked, seeing Robert blowing raspberries onto Bennett’s belly and making the baby laugh and squirm from under his papa. “Such a happy baby,” he said, picking up the 3 month old and kissing him all over his little face.
“I tried to get Riley into her kit and she kinda kept kicking me,” Robert said sheepishly. “She’s upstairs with Holden in the music room. I was hoping if she listened to him play piano then she might calm down enough for me to change her.”
“I swear they're polar opposites,” Aaron said, hugging Bennett to his chest, the baby cuddling right into him. “My big boy is so quiet and cute and cuddly and that daughter of yours is quite the handful,” he said playfully side-eyeing his boyfriend.
Robert shrugged, not even going to argue with that. Riley was always screeching and gurgling, constantly needing someone's attention and Robert was sure his daughter was him in baby form.
“Also how dare you get them Arsenal kits you traitor.”
“Alright babe, I know we’re both Manchester boys but it’s what Holden wanted and I wanted them to match so they all have the same jersey.”
“Well, clearly we’re raising our kids wrong. We need to go to more Manchester games and get the kiddos on our side,” Aaron said jokingly, rubbing Bennett’s back as he felt the baby relaxing and getting comfortable against his chest.
Robert rolled his eyes, smiling to himself as he saw his two boys. “You go shower before Benji passes out from your stink and I’ll try to change Riley,” he said, taking their son from the older lad.
“Yeah, good luck trying to change her,” Aaron laughed. “Try not to get kicked or peed or pooped on,” he said with raised eyebrows, Riley famous for doing all three things to them.
Robert hummed, mentally and physically preparing himself for changing his daughter. At least she still looked cute when she did all those things.
*~*
Robert smiled to himself as he rubbed sunscreen over Bennett’s stomach and all over his back, this maybe being his son’s third coating but he wanted to be careful. “Look at your fat belly.”
“Robert!” Aaron shrieked, looking at his boyfriend wide-eyed. “He’s not fat! He’s just...Thick,” he said, smiling down at Bennett and poking his belly, making the baby giggle.
Robert shrugged, finding his son’s chubby belly absolutely adorable. He was grateful Bennett actually let him put sunscreen on him, unlike Riley who just cried and pushed away. Luckily Aaron was in charge of dealing with her while Robert had his easy going, laid back baby boy to take care of.
“You did so good on the plane sweet girl, yes you did,” Aaron said, pressing kisses all over Riley’s face and earning Loud giggle from her.
He was expecting her to be miserable the entire time, crying and wailing but instead he was pleasantly surprised that his daughter just slept and watched as her big brother tried to play with her.
“It’s so good to be back,” Robert breathed out, cuddling Bennett into his chest as he looked out towards the water, watching Holden play in the waves with Adam and Ross.
Aaron hummed his agreement as he soaked in the LA summer sun. He was so happy vacation could actually start, that Robert’s family and their mates were able to spend time with them. But more so Aaron was happy that Robert could finally relax a bit and not worry about the album so much. Sure he still had more work to do but Aaron was grateful that the younger lad actually agreed to take a break from work for a little and spend time with them.
“I was thinking after dinner we could all go to the boardwalk. Ya know get Holden on some rides, get some cotton candy and walk around with the twins.”
“You wanna see all the pretty lights on the boardwalk? Huh? That sounds fun, doesn’t it?”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he heard Robert talking to Bennett in his “baby voice” before the younger lad kissed their son and tickled him. He couldn’t get over how cute his boyfriend was with the twins, always doting on them and spoiling them beyond belief.
“You’re cute,” Aaron muttered, earning a side glare from the younger lad.
“Whatever,” Robert rolled his eyes, gently placing Bennett in the sand and watching as he reached for it curiously. “What do you think handsome?” he asked, kissing his son’s hair and smiling as he saw the 3 month old hit the sand and gurgle to himself.
“Well I know this little girl loves it,” Aaron said, grinning down at Riley as she kicked at the sand and squealed to herself.
“Daddy! Papa!! I wanna take the twins swimming!!”
“They’re too little for that buddy,” Robert said sadly, himself wishing he could take them swimming. “How about you show them how to make a sandcastle?”
Holden huffed but nodded anyway, making sure to give both his little siblings a kiss before he went to work in the sand. “I like your hat Riley, very cute,” he smiled over at his sister, getting a wide grin back from her even though she had no clue what he said.
“Yeah, isn’t she a pretty thing,” Ross came up to them, throwing himself into the sand next to Aaron. “So what’s the plan for our first night here? Maybe a little clubbing?”
“I am so down for that,” Adam nodded along.
“We were actually thinking of going to the boardwalk,” Aaron said, earning blank stares back from their mates.
“Okay, what about after that? C’mon the kids go to bed at like 8, we can party afterwards,” Ross suggested. “Have Jack and Diane watch them, we’ll pick up Gem Charlie and Ed and go out.”
Aaron bit his lip as he glanced over at Robert, seeing the younger lad shrugging and leaving it up to him. He hasn't been out to club in nearly a year, and that was only after Robert won his Grammy’s. But a night out with everyone wouldn’t hurt, especially since they haven’t gone out much since the twins were born or even while he was pregnant.
“Uhm yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.”
Robert looked over at his boyfriend surprised, raising his eyebrows at him and only seeing the younger lad shrug and offer him a small smile. But he wasn’t going to argue with him, not in the slightest if it meant a night of fun with all their mates.
*~*
“Robert c’mon! Everyone is waiting in the car!!”
“I’m coming!” Robert yelled back, brushing his fingers through his hair one more time and checking himself in the mirror before he made his way downstairs.
“Oh sweetheart, don’t you look nice!” Diane said happily as she looked at her son and adjusted a squirming Riley in her arms.
“Thanks, mum,” Robert said softly, kissing her cheek and then smiling down at his daughter. “Okay so the twins usually go down around 8 but because we went to the boardwalk they’ll be a bit more tired and can get put down earlier. Riley is always a bit fussy but Benji will knock right out as soon as you put him down, and don’t forget they liked to be sang to and Riley has her favorite stuffed animal and Bennett has his favorite blanket in their cribs and-”
“Robert, love, it’s okay,” Diane chuckled as she rubbed her son’s back. “I know how to take care of kids, I had two myself,” she said teasingly.
“I know, I know, but-” Robert stopped himself, letting out a small breath as he looked down at his little girl. “We haven’t left them for a night yet and m’just nervous. I’m gonna miss them.”
“It’s not like we’re never coming back love,” Aaron said, pressing a quick kiss to the younger lad’s cheek as he bounced Bennett in his arms. “But we do have to get going, Ed is a second away from driving off without us.”
Robert huffed but nodded anyway, taking Riley from his mum and hugging her gently. “I love you babygirl, we’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, peppering her face with kisses until she giggled and squealed in his arms.
Aaron did the same to Bennett, kissing him all over his chubby face before passing him to Robert and then taking Riley. He wasn’t going to lie, he was going to miss the kids too, but he was also a bit excited to just go out with Robert and have a small break.
“Goodnight handsome man, papa loves you,” Robert said softly, cuddling his son into his chest and kissing his head. “Where’s our other kid? We’re missing one.”
“Here!” Holden said, running into the foyer and hugging his papa tightly. “Don’t worry papa I take care of the twins, it’s okay!”
“Oh good, thank you, buddy,” Robert smiled down at the 5 year old and hugging him back with his free arm.
Aaron smiled at the two before giving Riley to Diane and pulling Holden into his chest. “You be good for nana and grandpa alright? We’ll see you in the morning big guy, love you.”
“Love you too,” Holden said into his daddy’s neck, hugging him back.
Robert released a deep breath as he realized they actually had to go and leave the kids. “Okay, well we’ll miss you guys, have fun tonight,” he said, passing his mum Bennett and making sure the twins were secure with her before offering them a tight lines smile.
“Say bye bye to papa and daddy,” Holden said, showing his baby siblings how to wave goodbye.
Robert and Aaron gave them all one sad final wave, smiling at the twins as they stared blankly at them and left the house to get in the car. “Will they even realize we’re gone? Like what if Riley starts to really act up and my mum doesn’t know that she likes it when we-”
“Love, stop, it’ll be fine,” Aaron said through a small laugh, opening the car for the younger lad and climbing in after him.
“Finally!! My God, we know you love your hair R, but seriously if I ever have to wait 15 minutes for your arse again I’m just gonna leave,” Ed said, immediately putting the car in drive once the two were settled.
“None of you have kids so shut up, it’s hard leaving them,” Robert grumbled as he slumped in his seat.
“Aw c’mon Robert don’t be a downer, the kiddos will be fine,” Vic said, ruffling her little brother’s hair, making him slap her hand away.
“I get it R, the twins are so fuckin cute I wouldn’t leave them either. Plus Holden is like the life of the party, it’s hard to be away from him,” Adam sympathized.
Robert rolled his eyes, thinking if the Irish lad kept talking about how great his kids are he might as well just go back home and stay with them for the night.
“R,” Aaron said softly, squeezing his boyfriend's leg. “It’s okay, really… We’re gonna have a great time tonight and tomorrow we’ll have a fun family day, yeah? Loosen up a bit, have some fun.”
Robert breathed out a “yeah”, never thinking leaving the kids for a night would be so hard for him. It may have taken him the entire car ride to not think about the kids and actually start to relax and realize this was his night off from spit up stained tees and poop on him but when they got to the club Robert was excited about just spending the night with his boyfriend.
“Alright, boys drinks first and then we’ll get our dance on!!” Ed said excitedly draping his arms over Aaron and Robert’s shoulders as they made their way inside. “Aaron I expect you to be drooling you’re so drunk by the end of the night, let’s go!!”
Aaron rolled his eyes, for once excited about drinking and partying a bit. It was nice to finally go out and let loose, and not have to worry about feeding one of the twins or entertaining Holden for the night.
“C’mon love, drink up, that’s the only way I’ll get you out on the dancefloor!” Aaron yelled over the music, already sipping at his drink.
Robert let out a small laugh as he looked down at the older lad, but went quiet once he glanced over at the bar. “I uhm… I dunno if I should be drinking.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s just… Last time we went out I got hammered and you were babysitting me all night and then the next day I had a hangover and couldn’t go out with R even though I promised him I would, and I just don’t want to fuck up again. I can’t go back to how I was before...”
Aaron looked at his boyfriend softly, saw how scared he was that he would slip back into his heavy drinking days. “Love you don’t have to if you don’t want to of course,” he said quietly. “But you also know your limit, you know when to stop, and it’s also okay to have a drink or two.”
Robert bit his lip as he looked back over at the bar, slowly shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around the older lad. “Maybe I’ll have a beer a little later.”
“Whatever you want love,” Aaron said, standing on his toes and kissing the younger lad.
Robert smiled against Aaron, squeezing his side gently before slowly pulling away. “Finish that up, we have dancin to do.”
Aaron laughed to himself, chugging back the rest of his drink before grabbing Robert’s hand and pulling him towards the hoards of dancing people.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath as he was pushed into their bedroom, Aaron’s arms immediately wrapping around his neck and pulling him down for a hard kiss. And just at feeling the older lad’s lips on his, his hands traveling anywhere they could and their clothed hards being pressed together Robert couldn’ help the low moan escape from the back of his throat.
“You okay?”
All Aaron did was hum as he rushed to pull his shirt off, placing his hands on Robert’s chest and staggering them towards the bed. In all honesty, Aaron doesn’t even know how they made it out of the club or didn’t even escape to the bathroom for a blowjob. The entire night Robert was on him, grinding against him and teasing him and Aaron was a second away from exploding.
“Love you’re drunk are you sure you’re okay with this?” Robert asked, trying to catch his breath as he watched Aaron already pulling off his shorts on the bed.
“You’re drunk too,” Aaron slurred slightly as rolled his eyes, and as soon as his shorts were off he reached for the younger lad, yanking his shirt off and pulling him so he was hovering over him.
“Just a tiny bit tipsy,” Robert laughed against Aaron’s mouth, only having a few beers the entire night.
Aaron could barely comprehend what Robert had said, more focused on the younger lad moving on top of him and circling his hips, making their hards meet and a quiet groan escape Aaron as he threw his head back against the pillow.
He doesn’t even know that last time they had sex, which definitely wasn’t okay. And the worst part is, is that’s it’s not like they haven’t tried. Sure, some nights they fall into completely exhausted, not even having enough energy to change or shower, but most nights they’re interrupted by a very Loud cry coming over the baby monitor. Not tonight though, Aaron wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
“Fuck Aaron,” Robert barely managed, detaching his lips from the older lad’s neck as he felt just how hard Aaron was.
“Please, yeah, do that, fuck Aaron,” Aaron said, squeezing his eyes shut and curling his toes as he felt Robert palming him through his boxers, wanting them off, wanting Robert’s pants off and to just get on with it.
Robert looked at the older lad for a second, swallowing thickly and nodding furiously before he reached for his pants button and yanked them off in a hurry. He was trying to move as quickly as possible, reaching for a condom and lube in the bedside table but clearly it wasn’t quick enough before Aaron’s boxers were already off and the older lad was jerking himself off.
His eyes widened, feeling himself still at the sight before him. But God did Robert want to touch him, want to help him and for the first time in what seemed like forever actually have sex with his boyfriend.
“Lay back love, I have ya,” he said, hovering over Aaron and immediately began trailing kisses down the older lad’s neck, chest, stomach, nipping and sucking along the way until he got down to his inner thigh.
Robert could almost feel Aaron’s thighs shaking, his fingers getting lost in his curls the further and further he went down on the older lad. But when he got to the older lad’s length and took him into his mouth is when Robert really saw Aaron squirming, heard his shaky breaths and felt him tugging at his curls.
He loved doing this to the older lad, loved to watch as he completely fell apart at just his mouth. The noises that would escape Aaron, how he couldn’t stay still, how he was always aching for more. And Robert had no problem giving him more as he bobbed his head, allowing the older lad’s length to hit the back of his throat and making Aaron let out a whine. But when he managed to slick up his fingers with lube, keeping his mouth around Aaron’s length and circled at his hole with his first finger is when Aaron really began to lose it.
Robert glanced up, seeing the older nodding furiously as he arm was flung over his face, trying to calm down. He pushed in carefully, slowly stretching the younger lad but at the same time curving his finger and feeling for his bundle of nerves. And Robert knew when he hit it because Aaron let out a low moan and began mumbling nonsense to himself to relax.
He hit the spot over and over again, Aaron’s breathing becoming more and more rapid with every finger he added, the older lad’s chest and forehead almost coated in sweat as he began to completely shake under him.
“You ready love?” Robert asked softly, coming back up to Aaron and pressing gentle kisses everywhere he could reach, just needing to feel the older.
“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron breathed out, trying to calm himself and not get too overwhelmed too quickly.
Robert smiled down at the older lad as he hovered over him, thinking of just how gorgeous Aaron was like this, thought about how much he really loved him. And he couldn’t help himself as he dipped his head and kissed his boyfriend heavily, wanted him to know, to understand how he felt. But when Robert heard the condom wrapper rip open and felt Aaron putting it on him his thoughts went to trying to hold back a Loud moan at feeling the older lad around him.
He got it, Aaron really, really wanted him to get on with it, so Robert did. He placed his hands on either side of the older lad’s head, steadying himself and letting out a few deep breaths as he aligned himself and slowly pushed in.
Under him Aaron’s eyes were closed shut, his mouth hung open and silent pleas escaping him as he squeezed at the younger lad’s sides. Once Robert was completely in though he was sure Aaron would leave bruises, he was always famous for that or scratch marks down his back, but it’s not like he minded, not in the slightest.
“You good?” Robert asked, resting his forehead against the older lad’s temple, nearly shaking at just being inside Aaron.
Aaron let out a few deep breaths, nodding and reaching to cup Robert’s cheeks and bringing him in for a soft kiss. But it wasn’t even a second later the younger lad was moving, carefully pulling out and pushing back in. At the feeling Aaron gasped, Robert’s pace quickening a he ground into him, pulling back and snapping his hips forward.
Over and over again he did this until Aaron was a shaking mess under him until he himself was sweating and breathing heavily into the older lad’s neck. His arms gave out from under him the faster he went, his moans being muffled into Aaron’s skin.
“Love you so much,” he barely managed to groan out, feeling Aaron’s nails dig into his skin, their slick chests colliding with each thrust. “Fuck I… I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Robert said, Aaron letting out a whine not even a second later. “Every second of every day, you and me, just like how it’s supposed to be.”
Aaron threw his head back against the pillow, little noises escaping him with every thrust, feeling himself ready to let go with what Robert just said.
“It’s okay love, you’re okay,” Robert said softly, close to releasing before he reached for the older lad’s length and pumping it time with his thrusts.
Aaron was a writhing mess under him, his chest heaving, high pitched moans escaping him and fingers gripping the younger lad like his life depended on it. And with each thrust, each kiss and soft word Robert said Aaron was that much closer coming to his end. But when the younger lad began to make jerky movements, himself about to release Aaron was about to lose it as he heard his boyfriend whisper “I love you” over and over again in his ear. And with one more thrust he was done, Aaron couldn’t stop the stream of white that shot across his and Robert’s chest, the younger lad letting himself go inside the condom right after him.
The only thing heard in the silent room was there heavy breathing and the gentle kisses Robert placed onto Aaron’s sweaty skin before slowly pulling out.
The older lad watched as his boyfriend rolled off him, reaching over the side of the bed to throw the condom out but his mind was racing, his breathing heavy. “Did you mean it…?”
Robert barely heard Aaron, slowly facing back towards the older lad and resting on his side to look at him. “Mean what?”
“That you… You want to spend the rest of your life with me.”
Robert felt a slow wide smile over him, a quiet laugh escaping him as he rested against his pillow. “Of course Aaron,” he said softly, reaching for the older lad and pulling him into his chest.
Aaron had to bite his lip to stop his own growing smile as he settled against his boyfriend, thinking that yeah, he could spend the rest of his life with Robert too.
*~*
“I don’t know about this Robert…” Aaron said unsurely as he bounced Bennett on his chest.
“Babe c’mon, you’ve sung live in front of millions before, why are you so nervous now?”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth as he glanced over at the recording booth and shook his head. “I dunno, it’s just… Like this is going on an album and people will hear it over and over again and-”
“And you’re making excuses,” Robert laughed. “Love we’ll record it and after that if you don’t want your voice on there fine, I’ll get someone else to sing it with me.”
Aaron thought about it for a second, glancing down at his baby boy and seeing the 4 month old smiling at him. “Fine,” he muttered.
Robert had to stop himself from almost jumping for joy. “Great! Fantastic even!!” he said excitedly, clapping his hands together. “C’mere Benji, you get to hear your daddies make some music.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as Robert took Bennett from him and placed him in the rocker next to Holden who was coloring. He couldn’t even express how grateful he was to Diane and Vic for taking Riley out for a “girls day”.
“You have the music and everything?”
Robert nodded, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he passed his boyfriend the sheet music. “R you watch your brother okay? Daddy and I will just be in the booth.”
“Okay, make sure to have the sound on so I can hear too,” Holden said, never looking up from his drawing.
“You got it, big guy,” Robert said, holding the door to the booth open for Aaron and following him. “Alright my love, put on some headphones, get comfy and we’ll get started.”
Aaron let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to calm down as he watched Robert pick up his guitar and sling it over his shoulder. He did as he was told, getting headphones and putting them on before looking over the sheet music. The words and harmonies were amazing of course, and just at looking it over Aaron could tell when Robert wrote this. The time when they were dating all those years ago and didn’t communicate about a thing didn’t talk to each other right before everything went to shit.
“Ready Aaron?” Robert asked, getting his own headphones on.
Aaron let out one final deep breath before nodding at his boyfriend and offering him a small smile. And the grin he got back from Robert was almost blinding before the younger lad started, the music immediately filling their headphones as Robert nodded and strum along. (X)
Aaron couldn’t believe the music Robert already recorded for this, it was amazing. He kept his eyes on the music, waiting for his cue to come in after Robert started singing and as soon as it was his turn he opened his mouth. His smile only growing as he realized that it actually sounded great, and when their voices melded together it was even better.
Aaron could see Holden dancing on the other side of the glass, showing his brother how to move like a popstar and if possible both Aaron and Robert’s smiles grew at the sight. And when the song was over Aaron didn’t want it to end, and Holden didn’t either as he whined a bit, but the blue eyed lad had never had so much fun singing before.
“What’d you think?”
“You have any other duets?” Aaron asked through a sheepish laugh, now more than ever willing to help his boyfriend out with whatever he needed.
“Well let’s look through my stack of songs I’ve yet to record,” Robert said happily, now thinking he may just write new duets for them. “Alright, I’m warning you now, I wrote most of these when I was drunk.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, thinking this would be more than entertaining. “And yet you think they’re good enough to put on the album?”
Robert nodded and laughed to himself as he led Aaron over to his desk. “They’re hilarious, so yeah,” he said, passing Aaron a few songs.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly at the younger lad before looking over the lyrics, and he couldn’t lie, they were quite ridicuAarons, but still good. “Who’s Mr.Jones?” (X)
“A type of whisky I’m rather fond of.”
Aaron hummed, looking over the next one. “Love what the hell is this?” he asked, reading over the lyrics and letting out a booming laugh. “If you had a million dollars you would buy an emu?” (X) (A/N Please listen because this song is hilarious, especially if you think about Aaron and Robert singing it)
Robert couldn’t help but laugh himself at that one, this song definitely being more creative than his other ones. “Alright, in my defence I was hammered, and it was during our break up. I was writing about how if I had all this money all the stuff we would spend it on and all the things I would buy you if we were together.”
Aaron bit his lip as he scDianed over the paper again and nodded. “We’ll sing this one together, yeah? We can make it real fun.”
Robert looked back at his boyfriend, a small smile coming to him as he nodded back at him. And so the two sat down and figured out how this song will go, and when it came time to record it Holden, Robert and Aaron were straining not to laugh.
Eventually, they got through it, but it took a good two hours and by then everyone was pouring into the home for dinner after their days in the LA sun. But even after dinner Robert and Aaron took their three kids up to the music studio and Robert played everything he had so far for the album, and to say this would be one of the best albums Aaron has ever heard would be a huge understatement.
*~*
“Oh yeah, here we go, it’s tummy time,” Robert said gently placing Bennett next to a gurgling and happy squealing Riley on the floor. “You love to roll around, huh babygirl?” he smiled at the 6 month old, earning a wide smile and even Aaronder squeal from his daughter.
Robert could never get over how happy the twins were, always smiling and giggling. Riley was definitely more vocal about it, but Bennett was always right there with his sister, kicking his chubby little legs excitedly and waving his arms around. But both of them absolutely loved tummy time, laying down on a blanket and just rolling around and playing with their toys. Not only that, but Robert loved it too because it gave him time to relax with the two of them and let Aaron work on his class schedule for the upcoming school year.
It was crazy how fast time was flying, the summer almost over, the twins already 6 months old and Holden getting ready for his second year at school. They would be leaving LA in two weeks and in those two weeks Robert was determined to have the most fun possible with his family and mates.
“Papa did they sit up yet?” Holden asked, carrying a snack into the living room and plopping down right next to his siblings.
“If you help them buddy, but they can’t by themselves yet,” Robert said, making faces at his babyboy as he laid down in front of him, getting a wide grin back from Bennett.
Holden glanced down at his sister, carefully lifting her up and sitting her up so she was resting back against his chest. “Don’t worry Riley, one day you can do it all by yourself,” he said, kissing his sister’s head and earning a Loud squeal from her.
Robert looked over to the 5 year old, his own grin widening as he saw the two. But that was just before he felt a little hand on his face, Bennett reaching for his nose and mouth. “Alright handsome, go easy on me,” he said, blowing a raspberry on the 6 months old cheek and making him laugh.
“You two are the happiest babies ever,” Holden giggled as he looked at the twins.
Robert hummed his agreement but that was before he glanced over at Riley and made a funny stern face at her. “This little girl can get a little grumpy though, huh sweetheart?”
“She get’s a little grumpy,” Holden shrugged. “No matter what she’s still cute.”
Robert scoffed, thinking that the 5 year old wouldn’t be saying that if he was the one getting up two or three times a night because Riley just wanted to be held. But even he had to say that when he got up at odd hours of the night yeah, the twins were still very cute.
And of course, just as he was thinking about how cute his kids were Bennett began to whimper, which then turned into a Loud cry. It wasn’t often he cried, but when he did he needed something like to get his diaper changed or he was hungry. Robert just changed his diaper, so that only left one option.
“R I’m gonna go make you brother a bottle real quick, okay? Can you watch them for a minute?”
Holden nodded, reaching over and gently rubbing his baby brother’s back to calm him down but then also making sure Riley was sitting upright against his chest. “I got them papa, it’s okay,” he said, earning a small smile back from his father.
As soon as his papa left the room Holden tried shushing his brother, never liking it when one of them cry, he didn’t want them sad.
“You know you guys are real lucky,” Holden said quietly, pulling his sister impossibly closer and kissing his brother’s head. “When I was a baby like you I didn’t have papa, just daddy… But you get both and you lucky cause papa is the best papa ever.”
Holden wiped Bennett’s eyes and rested his head against Riley’s, a small smile coming to him as he saw his baby brother calming down.
“I really love papa and daddy and I know you do too. They real funny and silly and daddy is super smart and papa make the best music,” Holden said softly, just talking about his daddies made him happy. “And you know if you ever get sad they always there for you, no matter what. They the best daddies in the world.”
He smiled to himself, thinking about all the fun he’s got up to with his daddies, how they always find a way to make him laugh.
“You know when I little I think that I only have daddy,” Holden bit his lip as he rubbed his baby brother’s back. “And we happy but then papa come and we got even more happy. Me and daddy laugh lots more cause of papa and daddy always smiling with papa. They fall in love again I guess and it real gross but Adam say that love makes a baby and there’s two of you so that’s a lot of love,” he huffed, running his little hand through his hair. “I really happy papa come back… He’s the best papa in the whole world.”
And it was only when Holden heard soft footsteps come into the room did he pick his head up from looking at his baby siblings. His eyes immediately landing on his papa, his father clutching a bottle in one hand while the other wiped his cheeks.
“Papa?” Holden asked worriedly. “Papa what’s wrong?”
Robert shook his head as he sniffled to himself and knelt down, carefully wrapping his arms around the 5 year old and kissing his head. He had heard everything Holden said over the baby monitor, and it took everything in him to not just start sobbing as he listened to his son.
“I love you buddy, I love you so much,” he said, kissing his son over and over again.
“Well love makes you happy, not sad,” Holden said like it was obvious as he pat his father’s hair, wanting him to calm down. “And I love you too.”
Robert let out a watery chuckle as he felt his son kiss his cheek and give him one more hug. But of course, it was only a second later Bennett was crying again, seeing his bottle and not understanding why no one was feeding him yet. So Robert picked up his wailing son and quieted his cries as he put the bottle in his mouth.
He couldn’t even say how grateful he was at how easy of a baby Bennett was. But then again Riley could be a little menace at times so maybe she just got her brother’s moodiness while Bennett was left as the happiest baby alive. And when his babyboy was done eating it was clear just how happy of a baby he was, squealing and clinging to his papa before reaching for the floor, wanting to roll around. But of course Holden was already on the floor with Riley, trying to show her how to roll and she just looked at her big brother blankly before giggle.
Robert couldn’t help himself as he pulled out his phone at seeing his three kids on the floor, Bennett rolling around and squealing, kicking his little legs and thrashing his arms around as Holden tried to get Riley to copy him. He took a video, his smile never leaving his face as the 5 year old explained how to roll and Riley just stared at him while Bennett was all over the floor, moving one way and then the next. And Robert may or may not have pulled up Twitter, attaching the video and sending it out for the world to see his cute kiddos.
@Robert_Sugden: Rollie pollies X
*~*
Aaron felt a shiver run down his spine at the cool England September air, rolling over in bed and pulling the covers even closer to his chest as he made himself comfortable. But as he rolled over he faced Robert, his squinted eyes just barely seeing his boyfriend laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.
So Aaron reached a gentle hand over, running it down the younger lad’s chest and cuddling into his side. “What’s on your mind love?” he asked quietly, Robert clearly having one of his late night thoughts.
Robert was quiet for a second, wrapping an arm around Aaron’s waist and resting his chin on his boyfriend’s head. “You love me, yeah?” he asked so softly he wasn’t sure if he was heard.
At that Aaron opened his eyes fully and slowly picked his head off of Robert’s chest, looking at him like he had gone mad. “Of course R,” he said almost nervous, not knowing why he would question such a thing.
Robert kept his eyes on the ceiling, pulling Aaron impossibly closer as he let out a deep breath. “Enough to marry me?”
Aaron felt himself still completely, swallowing thickly and just as he opened his mouth Robert stopped him.
“I mean, this isn’t me asking you, I just wanted to know… Like I would’ve gotten down on one knee and made a huge production of it if I was asking,” Robert laughed, seeing the older lad’s shocked face. “But it’s… It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.”
Aaron had to bite back a wide smile as he heard the younger lad, shaking his head and trying not to laugh himself at what Robert was saying. “I love you R… I love you enough to marry you.”
And finally Robert looked down at him, his smile blinding before he cupped his boyfriend’s cheek and pulled him in for a soft kiss, and God, he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.
*~*
“Holden Edward Dingle homework first and then play time!” Aaron called after his son as he followed him into the house, seeing he was beelining it to find the twins.
“But daddy,” Holden whined. “The twins are crawling more and I’m helping them learn stuff!”
“Yeah, well you have stuff to learn too big guy, homework,” he said, pointing the breakfast bar stool as he placed his own work bag down and took off his coat.
Holden groaned but slumped over to the breakfast bar anyway, getting his homework out of his bag before he heard Loud squealing and giggling, followed by seeing his papa crawling after the twins and into the kitchen.
“How come papa gets to play?!”
“Because papa passed year 2,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows, his smirk almost immediately getting wiped off his face as Robert surprised attacked him in kisses. “Hello my love, good day?” he laughed against his boyfriend as he wrapped his arms around his neck.
“Great day,” Robert hummed, tucking his head into the older lad’s neck and hugging him. “The twins and I crawled and had some amazing baby cereal if I do say so myself, and we recorded and finished a few songs and went shopping.”
“Busy day,” Aaron said surprised. “What’d you have to go shopping for? I just did food shopping a few days ago.”
“Wasn’t for food love,” Robert said, kissing his boyfriend one more time and before he could ask anything else he began to chase the twins, only making them squeal and try to crawl away from him.
Aaron watched after Robert, a fond grin coming over him as he saw his boyfriend and the twins. But of course then there was Holden, moping to himself as he did his homework, and clearly wanted to play.
They’ve been back to school for almost a two weeks now and so far the 5 year old was doing more than amazing. Maybe this one night Aaron could let him play and then continue homework later. And when he told Holden he doesn’t think he’s ever seen his son run so fast to find the twins. As soon as he did though Robert came back into the kitchen laughing.
“Does this mean I get you all to myself for a bit then?”
Robert hummed and smiled down at the older lad before resting his hands on Aaron’s hips and pulling him into his chest. “Don’t you have some grading to do?” he teased, pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s neck.
“Eh, this seems a bit more important,” Aaron chuckled, grinning back at Robert just before pulling him down so their lips could meet. “I’m still not used to being back at school, I miss spending my day with you and the twins.”
“Yeah, we are pretty great,” Robert joked, earning an eye roll from the older lad. “But we miss you too, obviously.”
Aaron tried not to squirm in his boyfriend’s arms and laugh as he felt him kissing and nipping at his neck, squeezing his arse and making sure there was absolutely no room between them.
“Are you sure it isn’t just you who misses me?”
“Maybe,” Robert mumbled, refusing to let go of the older lad. “Wanna come upstairs with me? I wanna show you a few songs I got done.”
“I suppose we can leave the kiddos for a few minutes.”
Robert pecked Aaron’s lips one more time, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs to the music room before sitting behind his desk and getting everything situated. “Alright, so you’ve listened to and are a part of most of the album and today I finished editing the songs we did together. So I only have two more to write, but here're the other ones we did.”
Aaron couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he listened to the songs, them being even better than he remembered when they sang them. He couldn’t even say how proud he was of Robert for this album. Some songs were a new sound for Robert but overall Aaron loved the album. If anything he was surprised he was on half the album with his boyfriend but the fact that they were able to do this together meant more than anything. (X) (X) (X)
“Those sound absolutely incredible love,” he said softly once the songs were done. “Do you know what you’re naming the album yet?”
“I do,” Robert nodded, smiling back at his boyfriend. “I was thinking “Unreleased”. What do you think?”
Aaron hummed, that sounding perfect as most of the songs Robert wrote years and years ago. “I love it.”
Robert’s smile only grew as he heard that, finally feeling like this album was really coming together. “I also have some news,” he said, and when the older lad nodded at him he continued. “So after the album is released I had the idea of doing a live show in London, me singing all the songs off the album and a few others. But what’s cool is that we’re gonna record it, like a movie and put it out on dvd for fans to buy since I won’t be going on tour.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows, that sounding like more than a brilliant idea. “And you came up with that?” he teased.
“Don’t act so surprised,” Robert joked back. “But I pitched the idea to James at the record label today and he loves it, so it’s a go.”
“That’s fantastic R,” Aaron said softly, grinning back at him as he saw how happy he was. “So when is all this happening then?”
“Well the album will be done in about two weeks, the release date is October 25th and the concert will be a week after that. I was even thinking of doing a contest, ya know giving away tickets and the whole meet and greet thing before the concert.”
“Such a sweetheart,” Aaron breathed out, looking at his boyfriend with the most dramatic fond face he could muster.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully, not needing any of this sass. “I have big plans Aaron… Just you wait,” he muttered.
At that Aaron raised his eyebrows, it seeming like the younger lad had something else up his sleeve. But before he could even ask the two heard a Loud cry over the baby monitor and then a bark followed by a yell from Holden.
Aaron let out a quiet breath, thinking they better get down there before the house bursts into flames. He followed the noise of the cry, it not so surprisingly coming from Riley and just by glancing at Bennett he knew why his little girl was shrieking.
“Benji you can’t keep taking your sister’s binky,” he huffed, scooping up Riley and kissing her head to calm her down. “It’s okay sweet girl, you’re okay.”
“Benji c’mon buddy,” Robert groaned, that being maybe the fifth time today he’s done that to his sister. “You have your own binky,” he huffed, Bennett now constantly taking his binky out, only to take Riley’s from her own mouth and plopping it in his.
“I told him to stop papa,” Holden shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Aaron laughed to himself, reminding Holden over and over again that the twins can’t understand him just yet. But instead, he focused more on the little girl in his arms, rubbing her back and hugging her to his chest as she sniffled and snuggled against him.
“My little girl, I hate seeing you upset,” he muttered, wiping his babygirl’s wet cheeks. “You wanna come grade some homework with daddy? We can get away from all these gross and mean boys.”
Both Holden and Robert’s jaws went slack, even little Bennett was staring at his daddy blankly. So Aaron took that as a yes, smiling at his boys before kissing Riley one more time, getting his work bag and heading towards the office to grade.
*~*
Aaron let out a frustrated groan as he walked across the room to Robert’s dresser, opening his drawer and looking through his boxers, trying to find a pair that might fit him.
“Aaron? No, no, no! What’re you doing?!”
Aaron backed away from the dresser as Robert rushed towards him and slammed the drawer shut, looking at him wide-eyed. “I ran out of briefs, geez,” he said, adjusting the towel wrapped around his waist.
“Well fine, here then,” Robert rushed out, shoving a pair in the older lad’s hands before stepping in front of his dresser, not letting Aaron get any closer.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, Robert acting odd, even for him. “What’re you hiding?”
“Nothing,” Robert rushed out. “Just uh, just didn’t want you to mess up my uhm, I organized my briefs by color, I can’t have you wrecking it.”
“... Right,” Aaron pursed his lips, not believing that for a second but waved it off as nothing anyway. “Babe have you seen my phone? I swear I left it on the bedside table but now it’s gone.”
“Nope, no clue,” and again Robert said it too quickly, Aaron seeing right through his lie.
“What’s going on R?” he asked quietly, the younger lad acting strange for days now.
At first, he wouldn’t let him on the internet or use any computer and now his phone was missing and he freaked out when he looked through his drawer. Something had to be going on and at this point Aaron was getting nervous.
“Aaron it’s nothing, I’m just saying I don’t know where your phone is,” Robert muttered through a shrug, keeping his position in front of the dresser.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, not knowing why Robert would feel the need to lie to him, why he would keep secrets from him. “Did you like do something that you weren’t supposed to and the media found out or something? What’s with you disconnecting the wifi, taking my computer, my phone, and now-”
“Babe I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about,” Robert said, trying his best to be convincing.
Aaron bit his lip, now really feeling his nerves kick in. “What did you do?” he barely whispered, fearing the worst.
Robert’s face fell as he saw the look Aaron was giving him, it almost seeming like the older lad was a second away from crying. “No, no, Aaron I swear, please, please believe me, I just… It’s alright, I promise.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better how? Especially with you acting like this.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, knowing he couldn’t tell his boyfriend, it would absolutely ruin everything. Things have been more than amazing, especially with the album being released a week ago, it going straight to the top of the charts, but now here he was ruining everything when that’s the last thing he wanted to do.
“Please, can you just get ready? I swear it’ll all be alright, but we have to get going to the concert.”
Aaron scoffed as he shook his head, now knowing Robert was hiding something from him. But he went into the bathroom anyways, changed and did his hair so he looked more than presentable for Robert’s concert movie or whatever he was calling it. The entire time though Aaron couldn’t escape the thought of what Robert wasn’t telling him, and he didn’t know how long he could last without knowing what it was.
Notes:
Only one more chapter :( Any thoughts as to what Robert is planning at the concert ;) Leave comments, share opinions,
thanks !! And know that I'm on tumblr if you have any questions or want to see what I'll be writing next ! Thanks x
Chapter 22
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert smiled for the camera as he had has arms wrapped around two fans, making sure to give them both big hugs before saying his goodbyes and thanking them for coming.
That was the last of the fans for the meet and greet, and now it was just time to wait. And he knew the waiting, the anticipation will start to slowly kill him but it had to be done. At least Robert could try to distract himself with the twins and Holden as they played in the playpen together.
“What’re my monsters getting up to in here?” he asked, climbing over the gate and scooping Riley up, making the baby squeal and giggle.
“Papa are you done now?”
“Yeah, those were the last fans until the concert starts,” Robert said, making faces at Riley, only for the 7 month old to jump in her papa’s arms and reach for his nose. “What’d you think buddy, they were all nice huh?”
Holden hummed as he passed his brother his favorite stuffed animal, Bennett immediately putting it in his mouth. “Your fans come over here and they say how cute the twins are and they try to get a picture with me too.”
“Oh yeah?” Robert laughed, glancing over at Paul who was supposed to be watching them and seeing the older man trying to hide his own chuckle as he nodded.
“Yeah cause I just as famous as you,” Holden said as if his father should know this. “I gonna be just like you when I big and they want pictures of me when I little.”
Robert rolled his eyes fondly, but just as he was about to say something he saw Aaron come into the dressing room. “Buddy I’m gonna talk to daddy for a second, okay?”
Holden muttered an “okay”, more focused on his baby brother anyway.
Robert shifted Riley on his chest as he made his way towards the older lad, but as soon as Aaron saw him coming over to him he shook his head. “Aaron nothing is going on, I swear,” he said, his boyfriend getting more and more annoyed with him as the night wore on.
“Seriously? So that’s why absolutely no one will tell me what the hell is going on? I went around asking every single person who is backstage and working, and none of them have let me use their phone so I can find mine. And you’re trying to tell me nothing is going on?”
“Yes,” Robert said almost firmly. “Just know that I didn’t do anything wrong, if anything it’s good, more than good. And if you give me until the end of the night I’ll show you,” he said much softer, taking a careful step towards the older lad.
Aaron just looked at him for a moment, could see that he wasn’t lying, saw that he really didn’t do anything wrong. But he just wanted to know what everyone was hiding, why they were all being so careful and secretive around him.
“Fine,” he muttered. “But Robert I swear to God if you’re lying to me-”
“I’m not,” Robert said, wrapping his free arm around Aaron and pulling him into his chest. “Trust me love, everything is going to be more than okay, you’ll see.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath but wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s middle and nodded anyways. Robert loved him, he knew that, and Aaron was sure whatever it was that was going on wasn’t as big of a deal as he was making it.
“I love you Aaron,” Robert whispered into his boyfriend’s hair and kissing his temple. “It’s all going to be more than alright.”
And again Aaron just nodded, muttering his “I love you’s” into Robert’s chest and standing on his toes to peck his cheek.
“We’re gonna have a great night, yeah?” Robert smiled down at him. “I’m so excited for you to be up there with me, it’s gonna be amazing.”
Aaron couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped him as he scratched the back of his neck and hummed. To say he was mildly terrified of performing some of Robert’s songs with him in front of thousands of people would be a slight understatement.
The younger lad told him time and time again that he sounded more than great in rehearsal and that the fans would love it, but Aaron was still a bit uneasy. He was sure he would stay that way too until he was off the stage and all of this was done, but in the very back of his head there was a tiny voice saying it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would be.
“I’m sure it’ll be fun, yeah,” Aaron agreed through his most convincing smile as he took a squirming and whining Riley from his boyfriend’s arms as she reached for him. “Do we have someone to watch the kids when I’m on stage with you though?”
“Yeah, Paul.”
Aaron glanced over at the large man who was standing near Bennett and Holden, watching them fondly as they played together. “Can he handle that…? I mean the twins and R are kinda rowdy and you know-”
“Aaron please, it’s all alright,” Robert laughed, needing the older lad to relax. “Everything is all figured out, it’s perfect and plDianed and amazing, please just trust me.”
Aaron opened his mouth, ready to protest because he really didn’t think Paul could handle the 3 kids. But Robert was just giving him this look, one that was pleading, and Aaron gave in, saying a quiet “okay” and trusting whatever it was that Robert was doing tonight.
“Why don’t we feed the kiddos and just relax a bit before the show alright? You need to calm down before we go out there.”
“I am calm,” Aaron huffed, pressing a kiss to Riley’s head as he rubbed her back. “I’m calm, aren’t I sweetheart?”
Robert looked between his boyfriend and daughter, Riley just staring at her daddy blankly before she started squealing and clapping her little hands together sloppily. “That’s a no,” he chuckled, patting the older lad’s bum quickly. “Now come sit and I’ll make you a plate.”
“Fine,” Aaron breathed out, bringing Riley over to the couch and throwing himself down. “What about you my love? What do you want for dinner?” he asked the 7 month old, getting a Loud “da da da” in return as she bounced on his lap.
“Tonight we’re having sweetpeas,” Robert said, scooping Bennett out of the playpen and smiling widely at him. “That sounds yummy, doesn’t it big boy?” he asked, pressing a sloppy kiss to the baby’s cheek and making him giggle.
“Sounds gross to me,” Holden muttered, already heading towards the table set up with food and getting himself a plate.
“Yeah well it used to be your favorite so shush up,” Aaron smirked over at the 5 year old, seeing Holden roll his eyes playfully at him. “My little miss loves her sweetpeas, doesn’t she?”
Riley just gurgled in her daddy’s lap, shoving her fingers in her mouth and slobbering up her hand. And for the next hour she continued to make a mess of herself, getting her dinner all over her face and clothes while Bennett next her on her papa’s lap stayed clean and pristine.
Aaron swears the twins couldn’t be more different and yet they absolutely hate to be separated. But if anything having this time to wind down and relax with the kids and Robert did calm Aaron down. He didn’t think about why his boyfriend was acting so weird, or even let his nerves about performing get to him. Well, that was until they were called into hair and makeup, then Aaron was right back to his nervous self.
“Well look at you handsome,” Robert teased, glancing over at his boyfriend next to him and winking at him.
“This will be the only time you’ll see me in makeup, I swear,” Aaron laughed, not believing this was even happening.
“R, you just about ready? Your opening is just about done, we have to get you set up,” Clara said as she came into the room.
Robert nodded, letting out a deep breath and hopping out of his seat. “Everything is ready out there?” he asked, sending Clara a silent look, needing everything to go perfectly.
“All ready,” Clara winked at him before shifting her gaze to Aaron and smiling at him. “You excited for tonight Aaron?”
“Uhm, yeah, you could say that,” Aaron said through a nervous laugh. “I just hope I don’t mess up or anything.”
“You won’t. You have an amazing voice,” Clara said softly, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.
Aaron offered her a grateful smile, still trying to push past his nerves but he knew as soon as he stepped on stage with Robert they would only get worse. Maybe while the younger lad was doing the first part of his set Aaron would try to relax and get comfortable, but he wasn’t sure how successful he’d be at that.
“It’ll be amazing love,” Robert said, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek and rubbing his back. “Let’s grab the kiddos and head out there, yeah?”
Aaron nodded, grabbing Bennett from the playpen as Robert got Riley and Holden followed them out of them room. They made sure the kids had their headphones on and they were comfortable as they walked around backstage and went to get Robert ready with his earpieces and guitar.
“I really wish Ed or Adam was here,” Aaron said quietly as he watched his boyfriend get everything situated. “Or even Ross or your family. I sure could’ve used their help with the kids.”
“Yeah I uhm, I know they all wanted to come… Sucks they’re all busy,” Robert muttered before he kissed Riley and passed her to Paul.
Aaron hummed, it being so odd that they would all be busy, especially Robert’s family as this was important to him, he thought they would’ve loved to be here. “Well they’ll see it when it comes out on dvd I suppose.”
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he nodded to himself and straightened his guitar strap over his shoulder. Just thinking about tonight, thinking about what he was going to do had him beyond nervous. Robert thought he was doing a somewhat decent job at hiding it, but now looking out towards the stage and picturing what it would be like had him shaking in his shoes.
“You alright love?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows. “The show will be amazing, don’t think about the cameras, it’s okay.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s the cameras I’m a bit nervous for,” Robert scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ll just pretend they’re not there I suppose.”
“There you go,” Aaron smiled at him, pecking his cheek and squeezing his side.
Robert grinned back at him, dipping his head and kissing his boyfriend one more time before glancing back out towards the stage. Everything had to be perfect, and Robert was sure it would all go great.
The video he recorded and put online had millions of views, and Clara assured him the audience had watched it and they were ready for tonight as well. It was making sure Aaron didn’t check his phone or go online the past week is what’s been troubling him, he couldn’t let the older lad find out, it would absolutely ruin everything. But it was clear Aaron had no clue what was going on, and it was a complete relief to Robert that no one had said anything and he hadn’t seen the video.
“Alright R, you’re on in 5 minutes.”
Robert let out a deep breath, not sure if he could even wait until the end of the show before he just screamed his question at his boyfriend.
“Don’t be nervous papa, you’ll do great!!” Holden said happily, wrapping his arms around his father’s legs and giving him a big hug.
“Thanks buddy,” Robert laughed, squeezing the 5 year old back and kissing the top of his head.
And it was only a second later Riley started whining in Paul’s arms, seeing her big brother get attention from their papa and she wanted attention as well.
“You be good sweetheart. Don’t give Paul and daddy a hard time alright?” he asked, kissing the 7 month old all over her face.
In return his daughter mumbled to him, her usual “da da da” before sticking her fingers in her mouth and resting against Paul’s chest.
“And you big boy, you just be you,” Robert said, grinning at Bennett in Aaron’s arms, knowing his little boy was the best behaved baby in the world.
He made sure to give Bennett a thousand kisses, only stopping when his little guy was squealing and giggling to himself. But then he turned his attention to Aaron, his bright blue eyes trained on him and his smile so soft it made Robert’s heart melt at the sight of it.
“I love you,” he barely whispered, cupping his boyfriend’s cheek and rubbing his skin softly with his thumb before brushing their lips together. “I’ll see you out there, alright?”
“I’ll wait for my cue,” Aaron said through a nervous grin, standing on his toes one more time to kiss the younger lad. “Good luck out there.”
Robert let out a quiet breath, nodding at Aaron and thinking that in mere hours everything was going to change between them. But God, he couldn’t wait.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath as he finished the song, smiling widely at the crowd and pulling his guitar off from over his shoulder. He passed it to a crew member, thanking the man before heading back towards the microphone and waving to some people as he began to walk around the huge stage.
“Alright how we doin so far?” he asked, earning a very, very Loud cheer a second later, making his smile grow that much more. “Just what I like to hear!! Now for the next couple songs we have a very special guest! My boyfriend, the very talented and handsome Aaron Dingle!!”
Aaron may have been on the opposite end of the stage as he nervously shuffled on and waved slightly to the cameras and screaming crowd but Robert could still see his bright blush.
“How are you love? Feeling alright?” Robert teased as he made his way over to the older lad.
“Oh great, ya know, just uhm, just terrified,” Aaron said through a nervous chuckle as he tried to not focus on the thousands of people watching him.
Robert laughed into his microphone, knowing the fans must be internally freaking out about his surprise. In his video he never said what exactly it was he was doing for Aaron, only that he had something plDianed for him and he needed their help. But all in good time they would all find out.
“For those of you who don’t know Aaron here is a high school drama teacher, the love of my life and the father to our three beautiful children, Holden, Bennett, and Riley,” Robert said, reaching for his boyfriend’s hand and tugging him closer to the front of the stage, making his cheeks that much more red as a goofy picture of the little family came onto the big screens. “And not only that but he has more than incredible voice as you’ve all heard on my new album!”
If possible the stadium erupted with the Aarondest cheers of the night, Robert looking over to Aaron and offering him a reassuring smile. He could see how nervous the older lad was, but hopefully, after they did a song together Aaron would see there was nothing to be scared of.
“So he’s gonna help me out here with the songs we did together on my album, hope you like it!” Robert said, winking over at his boyfriend and earning a subtle nod back from him. “Here’s Little Do You Know.”
Aaron let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to calm down as he watched Robert get a different guitar and slung it over his shoulder. This song he started first and he couldn’t mess up, not in front of all of these people and the cameras. But when Robert looked over at him, saw his soft smile and shining eyes for some reason he relaxed. Aaron thought back to the days when they were in choir together when they did their duets and they were in a room full of people, but he only saw was the curly haired lad.
So Aaron kept his eyes locked on Robert, a small smile coming to him as he saw the way the younger was looking at him so softly, with all the love in the world. He opened his mouth to sing just as Robert began picking his guitar and instead of a stadium full of people it was just them, like the old days.
And being up on stage with Robert, the two of them walking around and teasing each other as they sang, stealing kisses here and there, it wasn’t nearly as bad as Aaron thought it would be. He was actually having an amazing time singing with Robert and the best part of it all was that they sounded incredible and the crowd loved it.
When they did the more fun and upbeat songs Aaron actually found himself walking around the stage, waving to fans and smiling at the cameras before he caught Robert’s eye again and winked at him. And when they kissed Aaron swears if he wasn’t wearing ear pieces he would’ve gone deaf from how Loud they were screaming and yelling, but it was those moments he loved.
“I knew you would loosen up love, look at you, you’re a natural up here!”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully as he took a sip of his water, not needing to hear the whole “I told you so speech” from the younger lad. “Yes R, you’re very smart,” he said teasingly.
Robert hummed into his microphone, handing off his guitar again so he could have his hands free for the next few songs. “You know I never get nervous. I have nerves of steel.”
Aaron looked over at his boyfriend like he was crazy before letting out a small laugh and shaking his head. “Need I remind you of your first stadium show with Ed, or even when the twins were born and you were terrified to hold them because you thought you would break them,” he joked. “I can tell you those nerves of steel you’re so proud of don’t exist my love.”
Robert laughed as the crowd did, playfully hitting the older lad’s bum as he eyed him. “Be nice,” he said before pecking his lips.
“M’being honest,” Aaron mumbled against him, squeezing his side before slowly letting him go, the fans going crazier and crazier by the second as they watched the pair.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Robert muttered. “We only have two more songs together so let’s pretend we actually like each other and get on with it then.”
“Aw c’mon R, you know I love you,” Aaron chuckled into his microphone, hearing Loud shrieks and screams a second later.
But the way Robert's face lit up as he said it was what really caught Aaron’s attention.
“Love you too,” Robert said softly, trying to bite back his widening grin as he dipped his head and kissed his boyfriend.
Aaron swears he could spend forever just kissing Robert, being in his arms and hearing him whisper “I love you” over and over again. But right now they were in front of thousands of people and cameras that were recording their every move for a movie so maybe this wasn’t the best place to start snogging.
“Alright love, let’s finish it out.”
Robert grinned down at Aaron, pecking his lips one final time before finally pulling away and hearing the start to the next song. And of course as they sang and walked around stage they teased and poked fun at each other, but it still all sounded great. Robert couldn’t ask for a better night, just seeing Aaron so happy and smiling from ear to ear was amazing. But there was still something Robert had to do, and after their final song and Aaron said his goodbyes to the crowd he immediately felt his nerves pick up at what he was about to do, about to ask his boyfriend.
Aaron felt like he was coming off a high as he walked off stage, catching his breath and unable to wipe his smile away as he looked around for the kids. He wasn’t able to glimpse at them when he was on stage with Robert and still he couldn’t find them.
“Hey Clara, do you know where Paul took the kids? He has them right?” he asked with a touch of worry in his voice.
“Yeah, yeah, he has them,” Clara nodded. “But uhm, Aaron just need you to stay here until Robert is done okay? After he comes off I’ll take you right to them.”
“Well they’re okay right? I mean I thought they were gonna watch the show right here? Why did Paul-”
“Aaron it’s fine, everything is more than fine,” Clara tried to reassure him, seeing the younger lad a second away from freaking out. “Robert comes off in 5 after a quick announcement, just wait till then.”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, Robert never mentioning anything about an announcement, he thought the younger lad just had one more song and he was done. But nevertheless, he nodded at Clara anyway, trusting her with whatever was going on before he turned back towards the stage to watch the green eyed lad finish up the concert.
Robert glanced over at the side of the stage, seeing Aaron watching him happily and he swears he’s never been so nervous in his life. His hands were shaking, heart racing and palms sweating but everything was going to be perfect, he knew it would be.
The kids were where they needed to be, as was his mates and family, the crowd was ready and so were the large screens behind. Now all Robert had to do was finish this song up and it was time. He’s been waiting what feels like forever to do this, and now that is was time… Well God, he just couldn’t wait.
“Alright so uhm, as all of you have seen on the video I posted last week I have a surprise,” Robert said, earning Loud screams from the crowd, but when he looked over at Aaron again, this time, he looked confused. “I hope you all remember what you’re supposed to do, let’s make this special,” he said through a soft smile as he slung his guitar over his shoulder. “Aaron, babe, could I get you back out here?”
Robert watched as Aaron slowly made his way back on stage, looking more lost as the seconds wore on but he just couldn’t wipe his smile away.
Aaron looked at his boyfriend confused but he wasn’t even halfway to him before he heard him strumming and the crowd clapping. He looked out to everyone, furrowing his eyebrows as it wasn’t a normal on the beat clap but one that was clearly rehearsed. But it was when he saw the younger lad walking towards him and when he heard Robert’s voice over the speaker did he feel his breath fall short.
Could you see yourself growing old with me, watching my hair turn to grey?
Could you live with me and my mistakes and the ones I have yet to make?
And it was only a second later Aaron heard more voices, jumping at the noise but feeling himself still as he saw some of his students come onto stage and singing the chorus along with Robert. But it wasn’t only them, it was the entire stadium singing this song he’s never heard before, all of them knowing the words.
So when our eyes have seen their better days, and our hearing starts to fade
Put your arms ‘round my neck, and your heart on my chest
“I love you" will still sound the same
“I love you" will still sound the same
Aaron had no idea what was going on, unable to stop his wide smile as he saw his students, and Robert was walking towards him as he sang, looking like any second he could burst with happiness. He had no idea how this stadium full of people could possibly know this song, how Robert could have orchestrated this but it was more than amazing, Aaron didn’t know what to do with himself.
I can see out dreams inside of a child, long after ours fade away
When our rings start to rust and our skin starts to age, remember the promise we made
And again the chorus came, this time, Aaron’s eyes catching on the huge screens behind him and how there were videos playing. Videos of fans around the world singing this song along with Robert and at the sight Aaron had to put a hand over his mouth. It was clear the younger lad had put this together, that he had done all of this for him, but why? He didn’t understand.
And Aaron only grew more confused as he saw Ed come onto the stage, strumming and singing along with Robert and the rest of the stadium. He looked all around, having no idea what was happening but he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face at what he was hearing, what he was seeing. But that was just before he caught Robert’s eye, he saw him taking off his guitar and pointing down to the crowd.
Aaron’s eyes followed where he was pointing and nearly gasped as he saw all of their mates and family in the crowd cheering and clapping with Holden, Bennett, and Riley in their arms. Now he was extremely confused, having no clue what Robert was up to, but now he understood that this is what the younger lad has been planning, what he’s been hiding from him. And just as he looked back to his boyfriend, the music still Loud and everyone singing he opened and closed his mouth, needing to understand what was going on. But Robert shook his head at him, smiling gently before the music slowed slightly, the lights went down and his boyfriend turned him so he was facing the audience.
When the bills pile up and time tests our love, we’ll stay forever in love
We’ll stick to our guns, our grip won’t loosen up when we say forever ain’t enough
Aaron swallowed thickly as he saw the floor of the crowd holding up signs that said “Say Yes” but he didn’t understand, say yes to what? That was until he looked up and saw the rest of the crowd, little lights like stars in the audience and entire stadium that spelt out “Marry Me?” in huge letters.
Aaron stilled completely, slowly covering his mouth with his hand as he felt tears pool his eyes and heard the song still playing, saw the words that made his heart stop. And sure enough, when he managed to turn around there was Robert, down one knee with a box holding a ring, himself looking close to tears.
Aaron almost choked on air as he saw the ring and felt tears on his cheeks, but it was only a second later he was nodding, managing out a barely audible “yes” before Robert stood up, wrapped his arms around the older lad and crashed their lips together.
The song hit the chorus again and above them fireworks were going off as they kissed, and Aaron couldn’t believe it. Robert was kissing him with so much love, holding onto him like he never wanted to let go again. And it wasn’t until the song ended did the younger lad finally let him go, all around them was screaming and yelling, fireworks still going off and cameras that were recording the scene. But Aaron didn’t focus on that, instead, he shakily brought up his hand and watched as Robert slipped the ring onto his finger, wondering how he lasted so long without it there before.
After all these years, after the heartaches, the fights, the good times and bad, and several kids later they were finally getting married.
*~*
1 ½ Years Later (June)
Aaron let out a deep breath as he looked at himself in the mirror, his suit finely pressed and hair styled the way Robert loved it. After all this planning, after all this time he wanted this to be perfect, wanted this to be a day they would never forget.
“You look amazing mate.”
Aaron smiled back at Ross as he felt his hand gently squeeze his shoulder and give him a reassuring grin. “You know how I worry,” he said through a nervous laugh, running his hand over the front of his suit for the thousandth time. “Do you know if everything is ready? And what about the kids? Does Diane still have them and was she able to get Riley into her dress?”
“Trust me Aaron, it’s all perfect,” Ross chuckled. “Adam texted me saying everything is set up and beautiful, Diane has the kiddos and that tyrant of a daughter of yours is even in her little dress.”
And again all Aaron could do was release a breath he didn’t know he was holding and nodded to himself.
“C’mon relax Aaron, you’ll start sweating through your suit.”
“Well I can’t help it,” Aaron huffed, straining himself so he wouldn’t start pacing. “We’ve been planning this day for over a year, and after everything that’s happened between us I just… I want it to be perfect for him.”
“And it will be,” Ross said through a soft smile as he grabbed Aaron’s shoulders and forced him to stay in place. “You have your vows and everything?”
Aaron bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he pat his breast pocket. “Hopefully he’ll like them, I mean I really-”
“Aaron! Please relax, my God!” Ross laughed, seeing the older a lad a second away from freaking out again. “You could walk down the aisle in your underwear and be getting married in a parking lot and Robert wouldn’t care about anything of that because you’re finally getting married, just breathe!”
Aaron nodded to himself, thinking that was more than true. While they were planning the wedding Robert was always right there, giving his opinion about everything and anything. No matter what today would be perfect, because after all this time, after all the waiting and planning they were getting married.
Meanwhile with Robert
“Oh come on!” Robert groaned, trying over and over again to get this one piece of hair to stay in place.
“Mate, relax, geez,” Adam huffed, bringing over a can of hair spray and fixing the younger lad’s hair. “If this is the only thing that goes wrong today you can say that you had an awesome fuckin day.”
“No matter what it’s gonna be an awesome day Ads,” Robert laughed, making sure his bowtie was straight before letting out a soft breath. “I’m getting married…”
Adam looked over at his best mate and couldn’t stop his own growing smile as he saw Robert ducking his head sheepishly, trying to hide his blush. “I’m proud of you mate.”
Robert couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arms around Adam, not sure if he would ever be able to tell him how grateful he was for his friendship after all these years, how he’s stuck by him no matter what.
“Alright R, you finally get your hair done?” Ed asked teasingly as he came into the room. “It’s time boys, let’s get out there and do this thing.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he let go of Adam, letting out one more deep breath as he tried to calm his racing heart. “Alright, let’s go get married.”
The two smiled at the curly haired lad before making their way out of the room, and the entire time they were walking Robert was trying desperately to control his breathing. It wasn’t that he was nervous, not in the slightest. But today after years, after everything he and Aaron have been through they're getting married, and Robert wasn’t sure if he could last another second without a ring on his finger, if as soon as he saw the older lad walking down the aisle he wouldn’t just scream “I do!” at him.
As soon as they were outside in the garden where the ceremony was taking place Ed and Adam made sure to give Robert a hug, whispering their good lucks before finding their seats.
Robert didn’t walk down the aisle though, instead he just stood there for a moment and took everything in, saw the coral colored flowers that matched his bow tie line along the aisle, and the white chairs that were occupied by their guests.
The sun was shining, the air warm and all around him he could smell flowers. The little alcove they were in was surrounded by so many beautiful flowers and trees, but what really caught Robert’s attention was the arch at the end of the aisle, decorated by tree branches and twigs, looking so natural and gorgeous, he’d have to tell Aaron he was right in picking that one out.
Robert just took it all in, sucked in a deep breath and couldn’t fight off his smile as he slowly walked down the aisle and nodded and said hi to some of their guests. All he wanted to do was remember all of this, remember how he felt in this moment and never let it go. The way the piano was softly ringing through the air as he walked along the aisle almost made him want to cry, he couldn’t believe this was happening, he was actually get married.
As soon as Robert got to his spot under the arch he crossed his hands together in front of him, letting out another deep breath and trying to bite back his smile so his face wouldn't rip in half. Everyone in their seats were taking pictures and smiling at him, but Robert had his gaze focused at the other end of the aisle, wanting to see his fiance as soon as he stepped outside. And he was grateful it was only minutes later he saw Ross coming down the aisle and taking his seat next to Charlie in the front row, signalling it was time, Aaron was about to come out.
Robert let out one final deep breath, glancing down at his shoes as he heard the piano change it’s song and looking back to the aisle, only having to hide his laugh behind his hand as he saw the twins walking down the aisle.
The 2 year olds wobbled down the aisle with binkies in their mouths, looking more and more confused as the seconds went on. Riley with her long and dark curly hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to shine in her dress and her brother right next to her wearing a matching suit to his papa’s. Bennett was carrying the pillow that had the rings while Riley had her basket full of flowers, but of course she didn’t want them and instead turned to her brother, took the pillow from him and passed him the basket instead. Bennett had no problem with that though, now being able to reach into the basket and throw the flowers above his head and giggle as they fell on him.
“Papa!” Riley shrieked as soon as she saw her father, running as fast as he little legs could carry her.
Everyone in their seats couldn’t help but awe and coo at the toddlers as they saw them running down the aisle, completely forgetting their jobs as they attacked their papa in a hug.
“Monsters! You did so good!” Robert said, scooping the twins up and kissing them all over their little faces. “So beautiful little girl, and you my handsome man, you look just like your pop,” he said, squeezing them both and giving them each one more kiss before setting them down. “Go sit with aunt Vic and nana, okay?”
The two nodded and scurried over to their seats, Bennett making sure to keep the basket so he could play with the flowers.
Robert just watched them for a second, unable to get over how cute the twins were, how happy they were all the time. But they could only have his attention for so long before he turned to look back down at the aisle, next coming down was Holden and Robert couldn’t believe how handsome the 7 year old looked, he really was his father’s son. But of course as soon as Bennett saw his big brother coming down he was squealing and yelling “R! R!” as he waved at his best buddy. And Holden blushed, smiling at his baby brother and waving back at him before he walked up to his pop and gave him a big hug.
“Good luck pop, you’ll need it,” he teased. “Try not to cry, alright?”
“We all know that won’t happen,” Robert said through his own laugh, hugging his son back and kissing the top of his head. “But thank you buddy, love you.”
“Love you too,” Holden grinned softly back at him giving him one more squeeze before taking a seat next to his brother, the 2 year old immediately climbing into his lap.
Robert knew this was it, that any second Aaron would be coming down, that after so long he could finally say “I do”. And he was right because just as he was trying to even his breathing the piano changed again, and when Robert picked his head up and looked to the end of the aisle there he was.
As soon as green met blue Robert couldn’t help his wide smile, the older lad looking more gorgeous than he ever has before in his suit, and God, he couldn’t wait to marry him. What made it all perfect though was the way Aaron was looking back at him, almost like he was too good to be real, like he was the luckiest man in the world. And at the sight Robert felt his eyes pooling with tears because he didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve this man in his life, and yet here he was about to marry him.
Robert wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that this was going to be his husband, that this beautiful and caring man walking towards him was going to be his for forever. But instead he wiped away the tears that fell onto his cheeks and let out a watery chuckle as he saw Aaron blushing and furiously trying to hold back his own tears. When he got to Robert though he let them slip, looked down as his soon to be husband carefully took his hand and looked at him like none of this was real, like his wildest dreams were coming true.
“I love you,” Robert barely whispered, taking both of Aaron’s hands once he was in front of him and giving them a light squeeze.
“I love you too,” and God did Aaron just want to grab his face and kiss him, and after all these years be able to yell and scream and tell everyone he knew that this incredible man in front of him was his husband.
But instead he stood there with Robert’s hands in his and just looked at him. If the priest was talking neither of them would have noticed, they were too consumed with one another. And it was only when the pair heard someone clearing their throat did they take their eyes off each other, only to hear their family and mates laughing from their seats, and Robert and Aaron realized it was time for vows.
“Aaron did you write your vows?”
“Uhm yeah, yeah,” he nodded sheepishly, but just as he was about to reach for his inside jacket pocket he stopped himself, knowing that just looking at Robert he would say everything he wanted to.
“Robert I… From the first second I saw you I knew there was something about you, something I wanted… But it turns out it wasn’t just something, it was you, you were all I wanted. It may have taken me a little bit to admit to myself, but once I did from that moment on I’ve been falling deeper and deeper in love with you. And there were definitely times when I wanted to hate you, I loved the thought of hating you but I didn’t, I never could, not even a little bit, not at all,” Aaron said through a watery chuckle, taking one of his hands out of Robert’s just so he could wipe his eyes.
“It’s okay love,” Robert said softly, gently running his thumb over Aaron’s cheek and feeling the older lad kiss his palm and nod against him.
“But just… God, I love you,” Aaron breathed out, his smile so wide it made his eyes crinkle. “And I promise as each day passes I will love you the way you deserved to be loved. I will be your best friend, a shoulder to cry on, your voice of reason and your partner in crime… But most importantly I promise to be your husband and stand by you no matter what life throws our way. No matter how hard it gets, if we’re trying I’m staying.”
Robert couldn’t help himself as he just nodded, choking back tears and hiccuping to himself as he heard the older lad. He just wanted to kiss him, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved him. Robert wasn’t even sure if words could come out with how much he was crying though, Aaron wiping his wet cheeks and whispering to him “I love you” and “It’s okay”.
“Robert, you ready for your vows?”
Robert let out a deep breath as he nodded, but he probably looked like a right mess though. He swears he’s never been happier than in this moment, it was finally time.
“Aaron I have a confession to make, and what better time to tell it at our wedding and in front of all of our family and friends?” he saw the older lad look at him confused, and just at his face Robert couldn’t help but bite his lip sheepishly. “On the first day of our creative writing class we had assigned seats… And I may stolen someone’s seat just so I could be next to you.”
It was almost immediate there were Loud laughs coming from their family and friends, Aaron looking at him wide eyed and trying to cover up his own laughter.
“I walked into that lecture room and the first thing I saw was you, and from that moment on I knew I had to meet you, had to talk to you. You were so cute worrying over your pens and notebooks and I swear when I actually managed to utter anything to you I sounded like a right idiot, but it got you smiling so I didn’t care. And it was then that I decided that I needed you… I had to be the one to make you smile and laugh, the one to make you happy because I can never get enough of you. So from this day on until forever I promise to be the person you can come to for anything. I promise to be your safe place and to encourage, support and believe in you no matter what. And lastly I promise myself to you and our kids, and I will be my absolute best at all times, no matter how hard times get. Finally after all this time I can finally say I’m forever yours.”
Robert squeezed Aaron’s hands as he saw the older lad trying to gather himself, but there was no point, they were both crying messes. But finally, the moment Robert has been waiting for was here, and at that thought he was nearly bouncing in his shoes.
“Can we please have the rings?”
The pair looked over to the twins, not sure who actually had the pillow at this point but as soon as Bennett heard the priest he hopped off his brother's lap and grabbed the pillow from his sister. And of course it was only a second later Riley was whining, wanting the pillow back, but Bennett wasn’t having any of it.
“No! Job!” the 2 year old said, pointing to himself and walking over to his daddies happily, passing them the pillow.
“Thank you Benji,” Aaron laughed, bending down and kissing his son’s head before he scurried back over to Holden.
The two got the rings and as soon as they looked back to each other they couldn’t contain their excitement. The only thing going through their heads was “finally” over and over again.
“Aaron do you take Robert Edward Sugden as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
Aaron let out a deep breath, his smile unmissable as he nodded and said a soft “I do” before he felt the younger lad slipping the ring on his finger.
“Robert do you take Aaron WilPete Dingle as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
Robert didn’t mean it, he really didn’t as he basically yelled “I do!!” making Aaron jump and all of their family and friends laugh in their seats. His hand was nearly shaking as Aaron tried to put the ring on his finger, but as soon as he saw it on him he didn’t waste a second before grabbing his husband, pulling him into his chest and crashing their lips together.
“Well then, I guess I now pronounce you Aaron and Robert Dingle-Sugden!”
The pair laughed against each other, hearing everyone clapping and cheering, but they refused to release one another. After so many years, after everything they’ve been through they were married, actually married.
*~*
Robert sat back in his seat as he just looked around the reception area, still wanting to take everything in. He had a ring on his finger and all night he couldn’t help but stare at it, unable to grasp that he was married to the love of his life, the father of his children and that he was lucky enough to have the life he did.
So far the night has been more than amazing, from his and Aaron’s first dance to a song Ed wrote and sang for them to his husband shoving cake in his face after they cut a piece of it. Of course Robert got him right back, giving him a sloppy kiss all over his face and making the older lad squirm and laugh, but hey, at least they got some pretty funny pictures out of it.
The pair had danced with their kids, or in Bennett’s and Riley’s case they were just hopping around and sucking on their binkies while Holden showed everyone his “moves”. And Robert couldn’t believe this was going to be the rest of his life. His kids, husband and family by his side, surrounded by their mates and everyone they loved, this was their future and it was everything and more Robert ever could have dreamt of.
And when Robert pushed himself out of his seat and walked towards his family on the dance floor he still couldn’t believe it. Aaron had the twins on his hips, dancing to the music like no one was watching as the 2 year olds giggled and squealed in their daddy’s arms and Holden was all over the place, dancing just like his father. Robert went right up to them, probably dancing worse than anyone there, but he only thought about one thing. It’s been nearly 10 years… 10 years later, and Robert finally had everything he's ever wanted.
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p1
Aaron released a deep breath as he entered the large lecture room, his hand wrapping around the strap of his backpack tighter while he managed to shuffle his feet forward and find his name card on the table, telling him where he would be sitting.
Aaron Dingle: Row E seat 36
It seemed simple enough. So Aaron made his way towards the stairs in the middle of the room, taking one step at a time before he found the row he was looking for on the left side of the stairs.
Thankfully there was no one in the row so far, so Aaron didn’t have to shuffle past anyone on his way to his seat. And as soon as he sat down did he feel his nerves pick up a bit.
This class was important, no, it was more than important if he wanted his degree, so Aaron was determined to make sure nothing would get in his way of passing this class with flying colors.
He reached into his backpack, pulling out all of his pens, just in case he needed a new one quickly and laid them out on the table before reaching for his notebooks. He made sure he had everything on his desk before he began his organizing process.
Aaron had his tongue sticking out between his lips, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he straightened one of his five pens out on the desk. Only once his pens were lined up perfectly did he turn his attention to his notebooks, making sure one was neatly on top of the other. But of course as he did that one of his pens moved from it’s place.
He was nervous to say the least and even if he had to check, double check and then triple check to make sure he had everything, and everything was in it’s place it was more than worth it for this class.
“You don’t happen to have four extra pens, do you?”
Aaron jumped at the sudden voice, but not before opening his mouth, looking up and immediately closing it as he saw a bright pair of green eyes looking down at him with an amused smile. “U-uhm I do actually, I have a bunch-...” he said, quickly pointing to his line of pens on his desk, but that was before he heard the guy laughing as he shook his head at him. “And you’re making fun of me…” Aaron said through an airy laugh as he looked down at his folded hands in his lap.
“No, I’m just impressed,” he said through a small smile, taking a seat next to Aaron. “You’re making me feel really inadequate,” he held up his one pen and then pointed to his single notebook on the desk.
Aaron couldn’t help but bite his lip to keep back a quiet laugh as he realized how ridicuAarons he looked. “I swear normally I’m not like this, this class is just really important,” he muttered out quickly. “I’m actually the world’s most disorganized person ever. Trust me, by this time next week my notebooks will be tattered and my pens will be no where to be found.”
The boy just looked at him for a moment, dimples popping out as he smiled and shook his head. “Who ever would’ve thought that a creative writing class could be important,” he said through a small laugh.
“Well when you’re on the path to becoming a drama teacher it’s kind of necessary,” Aaron breathed out, still a bit more than stressed as he thought back to how this class could ruin him. “Are you a drama or liberal arts major too?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, not ever seeing this boy in any of his other classes.
“No, no,” the boy shook his head as he laughed to himself. “I’m actually a musician,” he said through a small smile.
Aaron hummed, definitely able to see this guy as a musician. He had that laid back, couldn’t care less look. His curls pushed up and off his head, a loose plaid shirt, skin tight black jeans and boots. His eyes were bright and dimples impossible to miss when he smiled, and it almost made Aaron jeaAarons that he could look so good in such simple things.
But then of course he was caught staring and Aaron couldn’t help but turn away quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up as he cleared his throat and tried to focus on anything else. If it counted for anything he could see out of the corner of his eye that the guy was smiling, so at least he wasn’t completely freaked by getting subtly checked out by a stranger.
Aaron tried to make himself seem busy so he wouldn’t be caught in another embarrassing moment. He watched as more and more students flittered into the room, trying to get to their seats on time before the professor came in. At least now he was happy about showing up early. He would’ve hated to be stuck in that crowd at the bottom of the stairs, each one of them trying to figure out where to go.
As Aaron looked around the room he could feel a pair of eyes watching him, and it wasn’t a big mystery as to who it was making it that much worse. Thankfully though a second later Aaron felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and when he pulled it out he saw Matt’s name flash across the screen.
He smiled to himself, thinking that maybe he was wishing him good luck since he was a mess leaving the flat early this morning and Matt clearly saw that he was nervous.
From Matty!! : You didn't pick up your dishes in the wake of the tornado you left behind you this morning. Can you do them before I get home ?
Or maybe he wasn’t wishing him luck...
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he looked over the screen and rested his forearms on his notebooks. He didn't want to deal with this, didn't want to talk to Matt if he was in one of his moods, and just as he was about to put his phone away he heard a door slam open, followed by a very Loud older man nearly yelling, causing him to jolt in his seat, push his notebooks forward and making all of his pens fall onto the floor of the row before him.
Aaron watched in horror as every single one of his pens fell to the floor below him, absolutely unable to get a single one without disrupting the class and interrupting the teacher that had just started his lesson.
He felt himself freeze before looking around frantically, trying to figure out what to do. And just as he was about to have a full blown freak out, the teacher talking a mile a minute and he was missing valuable notes he saw a hand come into view and placing a pen right beside his notebook.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he looked to the boy next to him and opened and closed his mouth. "What about you?" he barely whispered, knowing that the curly haired lad didn't have another pen.
The boy shrugged as he looked over to Aaron and offered him a small smile. "I'll just listen," he said quietly, turning back to the front of the classroom.
And again Aaron opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out what to say, or how to thank this stranger. But instead he found himself just staring at the boy again, only for him to look over at Aaron, grin even wider to himself before nodding towards the front of the room.
So Aaron cleared his throat and nodded at him before uncapping the pen and began paying attention to the professor. And even though he tried, and he really, really did he couldn't help but glance over at the green eyed lad next to him, only for him to catch his stare yet again, making his cheeks heat up. And if the same thing happened all throughout their lecture at least this stranger was kind enough to just smile at him, his own cheeks tinted pink.
But thankfully by the end of the lecture Aaron had pages full of notes and a plan to thank this amazing stranger. So when they were dismissed Aaron was quick to turn to the boy next to him, only to see him already looking at him.
“Uhm hey,” he said before biting his lip and looking to the pen in his hand. “Here’s your pen back and I just wanted to say thank you, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to-”
“Are you asking me out?”
Aaron felt his jaw go slack as he saw the curly haired lad smirking and raising his eyebrows at him. “What? No, no of course not,” he said quickly as he shook his head. He did have a boyfriend after all. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to get coffee. As a thank you of course.”
“Sounds like a date to me,” the boy hummed as he stood up from his seat and grabbed his messenger bag. “But I will accept your non date invitation for one thing… What’s your name?” he asked through a small smile.
Aaron let out an airy laugh as he packed his own things and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder. “M’Aaron,” he said quietly through his own grin.
“Aaron,” the green eyed lad said, letting it roll off his tongue. “I like it.”
“Uhm thanks, I guess… And you are?”
The green eyed lad smiled to himself as he looked at Aaron. His grin reaching his eyes and dimples in full view as he stuck his hand out to shake. “Robert... Robert Sugden.”
*~*
Aaron slapped a hand over his mouth, desperately trying to not spit his tea out as he laughed. His sides were hurting and his face was red from how much he’s been laughing and it’s been like this for Aaron doesn’t even know how long.
Robert was charming, hilarious and unfortunately incredibly good looking but if anything Aaron just enjoyed his company. He was more than easy to talk to and with three teas and two cookies down he would say he knew the green eyed lad well. Or at least well enough to maybe call them friends.
“So let me get this straight…” Aaron said through his laughter as he steadied his tea in his hands. “You were in the middle of a song and some drunken idiot wearing an Annie dress joined you on stage, and then the two of you sang It’s a Hard Knock Life together? No way. There is no way in hell that actually happened,” he said, shaking his head and hiding his smile as he sipped at his drink.
“Believe what you want but it happened at the pub down the street. Ask the bartender, I’m sure he has a video of it,” Robert said as he chuckled to himself and picked up his own coffee. “I’m not even sure he was drunk, maybe just extremely eccentric and looking for a good time.”
Aaron hummed as he smiled to himself and finished off his fourth cup of tea. He’s never met anyone like this guy before. Someone who has so many ridicuAarons stories and horrid jokes that are impossible not to laugh at. Someone who he can so easily talk to even though they met mere hours ago. It was simple, and actually more fun than he’s had in a while.
Lately with Matt it’s been the same routine. They wake up, have breakfast, he goes to his classes while Matt goes to work, come home and more often than not order take out before watching tv on the couch and then going to bed.
So this was a definite change of pace and Aaron wasn’t going to lie and say that he wasn’t having a great time. But as if on cue he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he pulled it out only to see Matt's name flashing across the screen.
"Hey babe, what's up?" Aaron breathed into the phone, finding it nearly impossible to not feel Robert's eyes on him.
"Hey, where are you? I'm at the flat and the dishes from this morning aren't done. Did you just not come home after your class?"
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled his phone away from his ear, only to check the time and see that he and Robert have been sitting here for over four hours. "Matt I am so so sorry, I'm just out with a friend and lost track of time," he said, noticing Robert not so subtly watching him. "I'll head home now if you want, I'll even pick up dinner."
"No you don't have to get dinner. I already called for chinese and ordered your usual, thanks though. But if you could start heading home that would be nice. I want to hear all about your class."
Aaron smiled to himself as he could hear Matt grinning through the phone. He was happy at least his boyfriend remembered how important his class was to him. "Of course, yeah, I'll head home now."
He heard Matt say his goodbye’s and Aaron said his own before hanging up and shoving his phone in his pocket.
“Who was that?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows. “Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Fuck buddy maybe?”
Aaron pressed his lips together to keep in his laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Boyfriend,” he muttered. “To whom I should be getting home to.”
“Wait a second,” Robert said, stopping Aaron from getting up from his seat. “What’re you doing later this week? I was wondering if you wanted to go out.”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows at the curly haired lad. “I just told you I’m dating someone…”
“And?” Robert asked confused.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, not sure if this guy was being serious. “And I’m not going on a date with you.”
Robert just looked at him for a moment, only for an amused to smile to spread across his face as he shook his head. “I never said anything about a date… You did.”
And again Aaron opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say.
“I mean if you want me to I can ask you on a date,” Robert said through a small smile as he raised his eyebrows at the blue eyed lad.
“Well isn’t that quite forward of you,” Aaron said as he laughed to himself and picked up his backpack. “But no thank you to the date. We can definitely go out some time though,” he said happily, already accepting Robert's phone to put his number in.
“So it’s not a date out, but just mates going out?” Robert asked teasingly to clarify as he watched Aaron type his cell number in.
“Correct,” Aaron said with a single nod, giving the phone back to Robert.
“Damn. You would look so good in a suit,” Robert breathed out through a smile as he shook his head and looked over Aaron.
“You’re quite the charmer Sugden,” Aaron hummed as he stood up from his seat and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder. “I’ll be expecting a text from you later.”
“Of course,” Robert said as he offered Aaron a small grin, “Tell the boyfriend to watch his back. Who knows? I might come and sweep you away with my charm and devastatingly good looks,” he said jokingly.
Aaron rolled his eyes but still couldn’t fight off his own smile as he looked down at Robert. “Yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen,” and with that and a wink sent from Robert Aaron was out the door.
It was almost as if there was a skip in his step as he headed in the direction of his flat. He hasn't even known Robert a day but he felt like he's known him for much much longer.
He was the most fun and carefree 20 year old he's ever met. He was sweet and funny, and overall just fun to be with and talk to, always having something witty or completely ridicuAarons to say. And for Aaron it was more than fun to hang out with someone who wasn't one of Matt's mates, or was even the same age as him since his boyfriend and all his friends were at least 24.
It wasn't like he didn't have his own mates, of course he had Pete but Matt and him weren't really fond of each other so that always got a bit complicated. But it was nice to have someone else besides Pete or Matt to talk to.
Aaron made his short walk to his flat building and rode the lift up until he reached his floor. And once he made it inside he dropped his backpack by the front door and kicked off his shoes.
But it wasn't even a second later he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a pair of lips connect to his neck.
"Hi love," he said through a small smile as he turned around in Matt's arms and kissed him quickly. "Good day?"
"Great day," Matt said through his own grin as he pecked Aaron’s nose, making the younger lad giggle. "How about you? First day of the new semester and all."
"It was surprisingly great," Aaron said happily. "My class went really well and I met this guy, seriously babe he's so funny and nice, you would love him!" he rushed out through a wide smile as he wrapped his arms around Matt's neck.
Matt raised his eyebrows as he looked down at Aaron. "You meet him in your class or something?"
"Yeah he sits next to me and he let me borrow his pen even though he didn't have a second one and then we went out for coffee and just talked and talked and-"
"Alright, yeah, I get it," Matt breathed out as Aaron began rambling and he released the younger lad before heading towards the kitchen. "Can you do your dishes from this morning before the food gets here?"
Aaron bit his lip, always hating when Matt went from happy go lucky to moody and distant. It was constantly like this and for once Aaron wished his boyfriend could just pick a mood and not go back and forth between the two.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't do them earlier," Aaron said quietly as he made his way towards the kitchen, and just as he opened his mouth to say something to Matt he stopped himself seeing that his boyfriend grabbed a beer and made his way to the living room.
So Aaron turned back to the sink and did the two dishes from this morning. He really didn't see what the big deal was or why Matt was freaking out about it, but the older lad always was a bit over dramatic about everything.
And just as he had finished his dishes he heard a sharp knock at the door.
"Get that," Matt muttered, never taking his eyes off the tv.
Aaron couldn't help but roll his eyes as he made his way to the door, and opening it to reveal the chinese food delivery guy. But just as Aaron reached into his pocket he didn't have any money. And of course when he asked Matt for money his boyfriend did nothing but complain about how he had bought the last two times before shoving some bills into the delivery guy's hand and taking the food from him.
"What's up with you? I thought you said you had a good day?" Aaron asked slightly annoyed. Matt was always a little moody the later it got into the day but this was just ridicuAarons.
"I did have a good day," Matt said as he took a seat on the couch, opened his food container and locked his eyes back on the tv.
"Then what's your problem?" Aaron asked as he raised his eyebrows at the older lad.
"It's the second half and my team is losing," Matt muttered before shoving some more food in his mouth.
"That's it?" Aaron asked, not really believing him.
"Yup," Matt said as he popped the 'p' and took a swig of his beer.
Aaron looked at his boyfriend for a second before shaking his head at him and taking a bite of his food. He always had to remind himself that not all days were good days. Sometimes Matt was just in a funky mood and Aaron figured that since they've been together for nearly a year he should be used to his boyfriend’s mood swings.
“What classes do you have tomorrow?” Matt asked as he glanced over at Aaron and then back to the tv before taking a bite of his food.
“The same creative writing class I had this morning and then choir. I’m a bit nervous for choir though… This year I auditioned up for the all boys choir and I got in but I just hope I don’t have the highest voice there or anything, it’d just be embarrassing,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip.
Matt quickly shook his head as he swallowed his food and kept his eyes on the tv. “No way babe, your voice is incredible. I mean yeah it’s a bit higher than most guys, but that’s what makes it unique. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a solo or something cause no one else can reach the notes you can.”
Aaron couldn’t help his small smile as he looked over to Matt and saw the older lad already grinning back at him.”Thanks love,” he said softly before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek, only for Matt to turn his head and capture his lips.
Matt hummed against him, making Aaron’s smile grow before his boyfriend pulled away and turned back to the tv.
“Anything going on at work tomorrow or-”
“Hang on Aaron, just wait till next commercial,” Matt said, returning his focus back to the tv now that the game was on again.
Aaron let out a quiet breath but nodded as he turned back to the tv and took another bite of his food. But a second later his phone started ringing, making him breathe out a “sorry” to Matt and reach into his pocket.
He saw a number he didn’t recognize flash across the screen but with Matt continuing to side eye him as it rang he answered it and pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Schmidt’s bar on Marks street, what do you say?”
“... Robert?” Aaron asked through a quiet laugh. “What are you-”
“Can you please take that somewhere else?” Matt breathed out before taking a swig of his beer.
“Sorry,” Aaron muttered, pushing himself off the couch and heading towards the bedroom.
“Who was that guy? Sounds like a dick,” Robert said, clearly trying to talk over the noise of a crowded room before it sounded like he walked through a door and it went quiet.
“That was my boyfriend,” Aaron said as he made his way into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
“Well he still sounds like an arse and the only thing I’m sorry about is him being your boyfriend,” Robert laughed into the phone.
Aaron couldn’t help but roll his eyes and try to bite back his smile as he took a seat on his bed. “What do you want Sugden?” he asked through a small laugh.
“Is that any way to talk to someone who wants nothing more than to drag you down to city square and get you properly drunk?”
“...It’s Wednesday,” Aaron said with furrowed eyebrows.
“And you’re 20 so get out and live!!” Robert said excitedly through the phone. “C’mon I’m at Schmidt’s with my mate and it’d be cool if you came.”
Aaron nibbled on his bottom lip, unsure about going out in the middle of the week. It would be fun to do something spontaneous like this though. And it would be nice to meet even more people his own age.
“Alright, uhm yeah… I’ll go,” Aaron said through a small smile. “Gimme like 20 minutes and I’ll be there.”
“Yes!!” Robert cheered. “You Aaron Dingle are in for quite the night!”
Aaron couldn’t help but laugh to himself and mutter a “sure” into the phone before hanging up and looking through his closet to find something to wear.
The last time he went out randomly like this was probably with Pete a few months ago before he moved in with Matt. And Aaron has to say that that night was probably one of the best nights he's ever had, but the more Aaron thought about it the more he would like nights like those.
So when he had a fresh outfit on and his hair was perfectly quiffed Aaron made his way back into the living room, but jumped at his boyfriend’s sudden voice.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m meeting up with Robert. Remember I told you about him today?” Aaron asked as he pulled his fall coat on and made sure he had his keys.
Matt looked at his boyfriend and hummed before glancing back at the tv and pushing himself off the couch.
“What’re you doing?” Aaron asked confused as he watched the older lad turn off the tv and reach for his own coat.
“I’m coming with you. We haven’t been out in a while plus you seem to like this guy a lot even though you’ve only known him for a day,” Matt breathed out as he opened the door for Aaron.
“Oh, okay,” Aaron said happily. “I think you’ll really like him babe, he’s really funny. Plus his other mate is there so it should be fun.”
“Where are we going?” Matt asked, not really paying attention to what his boyfriend was saying as he followed him down the hall.
“He’s at Schmidt’s,” Aaron said as he stepped into the lift with Matt following him.
“Good, the game should be on there. They have a couple tv’s don’t they?”
Aaron shrugged, only having been to this bar maybe three times before. “If you want to watch the game so bad just stay at the flat.”
Matt looked over at the younger lad and let out a deep breath before shaking his head and snaking an arm around his waist. “No, I want to go out with you,” he said softly as he pulled Aaron into his side and kissed his temple.
Aaron couldn’t help but smile to himself as he stood on his toes and pressed his lips to Matt’s. “And please, try to be nice to Robert. I swear he means no harm,” he said, knowing his boyfriend was more than the jeaAarons type.
“Yeah… We’ll see about that,” Matt said slowly.
*~*
Robert looked to the drink in his hand, the icecubes swirling around before he lifted the glass to take a sip. And even when he gulped his drink he couldn’t help but look to the door, waiting to see if a certain brunette haired boy had walked through yet.
“If I didn’t know R I would say you were a little excited for this guy to come.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he looked over at his best mate and took another gulp of his drink, succesfully finishing it off. “Adam I’m just excited to have a fun night out with my mates, that’s it.”
“Hmh, sure,” Adam hummed through a small smirk. “What’s the deal with this guy anyway? Didn’t you just meet him today?”
“Yeah he was in one of my classes,” Robert shrugged. “But there’s no ‘deal’ with him, he’s just cool.”
“And hot...”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he heard Adam mutter that and looked over at the Irish lad, only to see him staring at something. “What?” he asked, trying to figure out what Adam was looking at.
“That guy over there… Mate if I was gay I’d be all over that, holy shit,” Adam breathed out as he nodded to someone across the bar.
Robert followed where Adam was looking and couldn’t help the wide smile across his face as he recognized the blue eyed lad. “Aaron!!” he called out, waving him towards the table.
“You know hot guy?!” Adam whisper shouted as he saw the stranger wave back at Robert and make his way over to the table. “Wait, who is that with him? Do you know him?”
And just as fast as Robert’s smile came did it fade. “No, I don’t know him…”
“Robert!! Hey!” Aaron said excitedly as he tugged on Matt’s hand, trying to squeeze them through the small crowd. “This is my boyfriend, Matt,” he said through a wide smile.
“Right, right, the boyfriend,” Robert said quietly as he slid out of the booth, offering the pair a small smile and Matt his hand.
“Oh, so you’ve talked about me?” Matt asked, shaking Robert’s hand as he smiled down at Aaron and pulled him into his side with his free arm.
“Of course I talked about you,” Aaron said through a soft grin as he leaned into his boyfriend.
Robert bit his lip as he looked between the two and cleared his throat slightly. “So uhm, yeah, I’m happy you guys could come. This is my best mate Adam,” he said, gesturing to the blonde haired lad who was waving happily at the pair.
“Hey, good to meet you,” Aaron said happily as he shook Adam’s hand.
“Yeah, you too mate. Heard a lot about you from R,” Adam said, sending the curly haired lad a not so subtle look.
“What? Adam did you you say something about buying the first round? Wow, thanks mate,” Robert said as he clapped the Irishman on the back and nodded towards the bar, just wanting him to get away.
Adam opened and closed his mouth as Aaron laughed to himself and slid into the booth. He grumbled out a “fine” before getting out of the booth himself and heading towards the bar.
“So are there any tvs here Rupert?” Matt asked as he slid next to Aaron and wrapped an arm around him.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he sat across from the pair and noticed Matt was looking right at him. “What?” he asked confused.
“Babe it’s Robert, not Rupert. C’mon I told you like 10 times,” Aaron said as he pat his boyfriend’s thigh.
“Huh? Oh yeah, right, right,” Matt said as he looked around the crowded bar for a tv.
Robert looked at the older lad in disbelief before glancing over to Aaron and seeing him mouth out a “sorry”. He waved it off as nothing, but really he didn’t see what Aaron saw in this guy. He came off as a total jerk.
“So uhm, Matt what do you do? Are you still in school?” Robert asked, trying to get a conversation going. The older lad seemed more interested in the tv across the room though.
“No, I’m 24 so I have an actual job,” Matt said as he kept his eyes on the tv. “I work at a PR branch for a record label.”
“Babe!!” Aaron said excitedly, making both Robert and Matt jump in their seats. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this!! Robert is a musician! I’m sure you can get someone from work to listen to him!”
Robert felt his jaw go slack, that maybe being the opportunity he needed, but as soon as he looked to Matt he immediately felt his face fall.
“...Uhm, yeah. Maybe I could work that out,” Matt barely muttered.
Robert could see it already. This guy didn’t like him, didn’t want anything to do with him, but Aaron was completely oblivious as he smiled widely to himself and kissed his boyfriend.
“Here we are boys!” Adam said happily as he placed four beers on the table and made Robert scootch fully into the booth so he could sit.
Robert reached for one of the beers and stretched his legs out, not purposely tangling his feet with Aaron’s. And when the blue eyed lad looked at him a bit startled Robert couldn’t help but smile at him and wink. But when he saw Aaron duck his head and try to bite back his own grin Robert had to take a sip of his beer to stop his own grin from widening.
Even if Matt was a complete arse Robert thought this could still be fun. As long as Aaron was there, their feet were tangled together and drinks were going around, Robert could handle this.
*~*
An hour later and Robert couldn’t do this anymore. At this point even Adam hated Matt and Adam doesn’t hate anyone.
He was rude and obnoxious, and worst of all Aaron didn’t notice a thing because even if Matt was treating them horribly he was treating the blue eyed lad like a king. He was constantly touching him, whispering something to him and kissing him, and Robert hated how easily Aaron just melted into him.
But Robert doesn’t think he’s ever been happier when Matt said he wanted to leave because he was getting bored and the game was over.
“Babe you ready to head home?” Matt asked as he pulled his coat on and stood up from the booth.
Aaron looked up to his boyfriend before glancing back at Robert and seeing him raise his eyebrows at him. “Uhm you know what? I think I’m gonna hang here for a bit,” he said, offering the green eyed lad a small smile.
Matt looked between Aaron and Robert before letting out a quiet breath and nodding. “Alright, fine,” he said before finishing his beer. “See you when you get home. Thanks for the drinks Neil,” he said, and without another word he kissed his boyfriend goodbye and left the bar.
“It’s Adam…” the Irish lad muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes.
Robert pat his best mate’s back, Matt calling him Rupert all night, so he knows how it feels. “So, now that he’s gone,” he said turning to Aaron and offering him a small smile. “We’re getting you drunk.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth as he looked at the pair across from him with raised eyebrows. “What? No, no, I don’t think-”
“Sorry Aaron, you don’t have a say,” Robert said as he chuckled to himself, already flagging down a waitress. “Yes, hello, we’re going to need three beers, six shots of vodka and a fireball for pretty boy,” he said, winking at Aaron and making the waitress laugh.
“Wait! No I-” Aaron tried to say but the waitress already walked off.
“What’s the big deal mate? C’mon, it’s just a few drinks,” Adam said as he rolled his eyes and chugged the rest of his beer so when the other drinks came he could be more than ready.
“W-well I have class in the morning and uhm, and I don’t know. I-I,” Aaron stuttered out, trying to come up with any excuse.
Robert had to bite back a laugh as he watched the blue eyed lad stumble over himself. “Aaron I have the same class you do,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Plus you’re 20, you gotta live a little mate. No more letting your boyfriend hole you up in your flat.”
“What? No, no, he doesn’t hole me up,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “We just have a routine, that’s all.”
“I’m sure fucking isn’t in that routine,” Adam said through a snicker.
“Adam!!” Robert said as he hit his best mate’s arm.
“What?!” Adam asked, looking between the two horrified lads. “Seriously he was wound up so tight I felt myself needing to fuck someone just to loosen up.”
Robert shook his head as he looked over to Aaron, only to see his cheeks bright pink. “Sorry about him,” he muttered.
Aaron opened his mouth to say something but Adam beat him to it.
“Seriously though mate, when’s the last time you guys-”
“Adam!” Robert nearly yelled as he looked to the Irish lad wide eyed.
“I need more drinks if I’m going to deal with this,” Aaron breathed out as he rubbed his hands over his face.
“Perfect timing!” Robert said happily as a waitress placed their drinks on the table.
Aaron looked at the drinks on the table and now he kind of wished he had gone home. He knew there would be a hangover waiting for him in the morning. But he was 20, and 20 year olds get hangovers before they go to their morning class. 20 year olds have late nights with their mates and forget that night before they go through their phone photos and realize all of the stupid stuff they did. And Aaron hasn’t had one of those nights in nearly a year, but tonight he was going to change that.
So without warning Aaron reached for one of the shots in front of him and felt the liquid burn down his throat. And just at that Aaron felt himself come alive in he doesn’t even know how long.
“There we go Dingle!!” Robert said excitedly as Adam cheered next to him. “C’mon, you have one more shot, a fireball and then a beer, let’s go!”
Aaron nodded and a moment later his second shot was gone. “Shit this feels so good,” he breathed out before picking up his beer and taking a swig. “Are you boys gonna catch up or just stare at me all night?”
Robert felt his jaw go slack as Adam burst into laughter and he saw Aaron raising his eyebrows at him. He couldn’t help but smile at him before picking up his own shot and swinging it back, only earning a wide grin back from the blue eyed lad.
*~*
“Stop… No- no more. Can’t see...” Adam slurred as he sunk further and further into booth.
As Aaron looked over at the Irish lad he placed a hand over his mouth and giggled into it before hiding his face in his elbow, trying to stop seeing three of everything.
“You guys are a mess,” Robert mumbled as he shook his head and reached for his beer.
“No Robert!!” Aaron said, quickly slapping his hand over Robert’s to stop him. “No more, you can’t!!” he slurred.
“And why can’t I?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows and a small smirk as he looked down at their hands.
“Because you’re so drunk,” Aaron said as if it was devastating news.
Robert laughed to himself and rolled his eyes as he picked up his beer, making Aaron look at him like he was crazy. “I’m not that drunk Aaron, you are,” and the blue eyed lad seemed to slowly register what he said before his eyes went wide.
“I’m drunk?!” Aaron nearly yelled. “Oh my God for how long?!”
“I don’t know, we’ve been drinking for like four hours,” Robert said through a quiet chuckle before finishing off his beer.
“Shit…” Adam grumbled as he sat up. “Alright boys, I gotta head home before I fall asleep here,” he slurred before shakily getting up from the booth.
“You can make it back to the flat alright?” Robert asked as he watched his best mate carefully try to pull his coat on.
Adam nodded and mumbled something incoherent before he pat Aaron’s head and waved bye to the both of them.
Aaron couldn’t help but grin back at the Irish lad and wave back at him sloppily. “Looks like it’s just the two of us,” he said, turning back to Robert.
“Good,” Robert said quietly through a small smile. “Surprised Matt hasn’t called you and asked where you are,” he teased.
“Oh, he has,” Aaron slurred slightly as he put his phone on the table. “Like 10 times,” he said, rolling his eyes.
Robert raised his eyebrows at that, this being the first time the blue eyed lad didn’t seem to be head over heels for his boyfriend. “Can I ask how long you guys have been together?”
“9 months,” Aaron breathed out before combing his fingers through his hair. "We moved in together about two months ago and if I'm being honest it's been the longest two months of my life," he groaned.
Now this was new information for Robert. He was sure Aaron loved his boyfriend, loved living with him, and just being with him. Well at least that's how it seemed. He has only known the guy for a day but maybe Robert could get drunk Aaron to share a bit more than sober Aaron would.
"Do you not like living with him?" Robert asked as he leaned his arms over the small table.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth a few times as he thought about it. "Well I dunno," he slurred slightly as he shrugged. "I thought it would be nice, and we would get closer but since I've moved in he never wants to leave the flat," Aaron breathed out. "I just get bored really quickly and every night it's the same thing over and over again."
"But he came out tonight," Robert noted with furrowed eyebrows as he waved to a waitress and asked for another beer quickly.
Aaron let out a quiet laugh, one that was muffled into his hand so Robert wouldn't hear him. "I think he's jeaAarons of you," he giggled out.
"Really?" Robert asked, trying to keep back a smile.
"Yeah, I mean I only met you today and I kept trying to talk to him about you because you're so nice and funny and stuff. But he never likes it when I make new guy friends," Aaron said through a small pout as he kept trying to make a coaster stand and only got more and more annoyed when it wouldn't stay put. "I only have one other guy friend and that's Pete," he said happily. "He's my best mate in the whole world, I really do love him, he's the best," Aaron slurred through a tired smile. "But him and Matt really hate eachother so I haven't seem much of Pete since I moved in with Matt."
Robert bit his lip as he looked at the older lad and couldn't help but think that Matt really did have a fair amount of control over Aaron’s life. And a relationship shouldn't be like that, Aaron especially didn't deserve a relationship like that.
"But I'm seeing Pete tomorrow!!" Aaron said suddenly through a wide grin. "He and I are going to lunch!!" he said as if it was a precious gift.
Robert offered him a small smile as another beer was placed in front of him and he picked it up to take a swig. "That sounds nice Aaron, I'm sure you guys will have an awesome time," he said softly. "Would you mind if I asked you something else?" He asked, hoping the blue eyed lad wouldn't get upset.
"Sure curly, go ahead! I'm an open book," Aaron slurred as he grinned happily to himself.
Robert cleared his throat as he sat up slightly, hoping this wouldn't come off as rude or forward. "What do you see in Matt?... I mean like, what do you get out of your relationship with him?" He asked quietly.
Aaron at first seemed a bit thrown off at the question, like he had never really thought about that before. "Well I dunno. He loves me and I love him," he shrugged.
"Yeah but why?" Robert questions further.
"Well for starters he's attractive," Aaron said through a chuckle before looking at his folded hands on the table. "And he's smart, and can be funny and loosen up when he wants to," he said quietly.
"Don't you want someone who's fun and loose all the time though?" Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. "Someone who's willing to do anything to make you smile or laugh? Someone who will love you for everything about you, not just bits and pieces? Have you ever had anything like that?" He asked quietly.
Aaron looked at the younger lad for a second before a slow, small smile made it's way to his face. "Are you trying to ask me out again?" he asked.
"What?" Robert asked, almost sputtering his beer. "No, no I just-"
"Maybe you're trying to get me to go out with you. Cause you're all those things. Ya know smart, funny, spontaneous, attractive,-"
And that's all Robert needed to hear before he felt his own grin widening. "First of all you asked me out that first time," he said through a quiet laugh. "And second of all I never said attractive, you did," Robert said as he sent a smirk to the blue eyed lad.
Aaron could feel the blood rushing to his face and a furious blush rise on his cheeks as he looked at Robert.
"If it makes you feel better Aaron I think you're very attractive too," Robert said, trying to take the embarrassment off the older lad. But he wasn't quite sure it worked since Aaron began to just blush more to himself.
"W-well uhm..." Aaron cleared his throat, wanting to move off the topic. "No, to uhm, to answer your question, no, I have never had a serious relationship like this before," he said quietly.
Robert hummed and nodded, thinking that was the case before he took another swig of his beer. And before he could even stop Aaron he saw the blue eyed lad flag down a waitress before ordering two more shots and a beer for himself. But Robert didn't want to stop Aaron. He wanted the late night out, talking about everything and nothing, even if both of them were slurring their words and laughing at ridicuAarons things.
And as the night wore on Robert saw a spark grow in Aaron’s eyes, and he wanted to be the one to keep it there. He wanted to be the one that made the blue eyed lad smile and laugh everyday, and he was willing to do anything to make sure that happened.
*~*
"No, no Aaron, don't do that!!" Robert said through a Loud laugh as he was nearly chasing the older lad down the street.
Thankfully enough he was able to catch up with him and once he did Aaron didn't even waste a second before draping his arm over Robert's shoulders to steady himself.
"There we go," Robert said as he chuckled to himself and wrapped an arm around Aaron’s waist, trying to get him to walk forward. "Alright Aaron, you have to help me out a bit cause I have no clue where you live."
"Go to-" Aaron slurred before he hiccuped and tripped over his own feet for a second. "Wellington and 5th, an it a uhm it's a big brick," he mumbled, nodding to himself. "Oh!! Flat 4C!" Aaron said as if he had just remembered that and was proud of the fact that he did so.
Robert almost gasped as he heard the older lad for some reason making Aaron laugh. "Wanna know a secret?" he asked in his own hush slurred tone, making Aaron nod furiously. "I live two blocks away from you."
Aaron stopped in his tracks and looked at Robert wide eyed like he had been told the most valuable secret ever. "No way?!" He screamed excitedly.
"Yeah way!!" Robert said, his own voice filled with excitement. "We're like neighbors!!"
"Oh my God! I need to call my mum and tell her!!" Aaron said through a wide smile before he reached into his pocket and fumbled with his phone. "Mum!!" He screamed into the microphone, making the younger lad clutch his stomach as he laughed to himself. "Guess what?! Me and Robert are neighbors! And that means we can see each other all the time, and I mean like all the time, the entire clock time!!"
Even if Robert wanted to he wouldn't be able to stop himself from laughing as he watched and heard Aaron on the phone. His head felt fuzzy, his words coming out even slower than normal and his eyes couldn't focus on a single thing if they depended on it, making what the older lad was saying that much funnier. And when Aaron got off the phone he immediately tucked himself back into Robert's side as they continued along the way to his flat building.
"I got her answering machine," Aaron said sadly.
"What?!" Robert asked wide eyed as he looked down at the blue eyed lad. "That wasn't even you talking to her?!" he asked, earning a shake of the head from Aaron. "Then whose questions were you answering about who I am and how you are?"
“There was a voice in my head asking,” Aaron whispered like it was a secret before giggling to himself.
“Oh, okay,” Robert nodded, pretending what Aaron said made sense before wrapping his arm back around his waist so the older lad wouldn’t keep stumbling.
The two continued tripping, giggling, joking and stumbling through the streets until they finally made it to Aaron’s building. And once they were at the doorstep Robert had to slap a hand over his mouth to hold back a very Loud laugh at the sight of Aaron trying to just get inside. But because he was such a good person and because he was not nearly as drunk as Aaron was, Robert helped Aaron inside.
“I know where we are!!” Aaron said excitedly as he jumped in place.
Robert rolled his eyes as he looked to the blue eyed lad next to him. “That’s right Aaron, we’re in the lift,” he said teasingly.
Aaron smiled widely to himself, but his smile quickly faded as he looked around. “Oh my God, we’re trapped!” he nearly yelled. “There’s no way out!! Robert oh my God, what do we do?!” Aaron asked, going back and forth between each of the walls and hitting it, trying to find a way out.
Robert bit back a giggle as he watched Aaron and then let out a barking laugh when the lift stopped and the older lad thought he had broken “the box”, what Aaron referred to the lift as. “Calm down Aaron, we’re here,” he said, pulling the brunette haired boy into the hallway.
Aaron looked around curiously for a moment before he grinned wildly to himself. And before Robert could even stop him he started skipping down the hall, knowing exactly where he was.
“Robert look!! Look! I live here!!” he said, pointing to a door and jumping in place happily.
Robert raised his eyebrows at Aaron and just before he was about to speak up the door in front of them swung open, only to reveal a fuming Matt.
“Matty!” Aaron slurred excitedly.
“Keep your voice down,” Matt said through gritted teeth. “It’s past 3 in the morning, what the fuck were you thinking?” he asked angrily before reaching for Aaron’s arm and pulling him into the flat.
“Hey, hey,” Robert stepped in taking Matt’s hand off Aaron and squaring his eyes at him. “Relax mate… Aaron, you alright?” he asked softly.
Aaron nodded and hummed at the younger lad before offering him a small smile. “See you in class tomorrow Robert.”
And Robert hated it, he hated to see it, but the spark that was in Aaron’s eyes all night had almost completely vanished. “See you tomorrow,” he said softly before grinning back at the blue eyed lad, and then shifting his gaze to Matt, narrowing his eyes at him.
Aaron couldn’t even bring up his hand to wave to the curly haired lad before Matt closed the door and abruptly turned to him. He gulped, even being as drunk as he was he could see how furious Matt was.
“Aaron what the hell?! I called you a million times, I texted you, I had no clue where you were!”
“I was just at the bar with Robert, that’s it,” Aaron said, wanting him to calm down.
“Okay that’s great, but you don’t know anything about him!” Matt said before brushing his fingers through his hair frustratedly. “I don’t know what kind of guy he is, if he’ll hurt you or just do something to you, I was worried sick all night!!”
Aaron bit his lip as he looked at his boyfriend, now feeling bad for ignoring him all night and making him stress over nothing.
“I’m not angry… I just… I was worried Aaron,” Matt said quietly. “I don’t know Rupert-”
“Robert,” Aaron breathed out.
“Robert,” Matt corrected himself. “And I just wasn’t comfortable with you being alone with him for so long… I thought you were gonna have a beer or two and then come home.”
Aaron kept his eyes on the older lad and now he really felt guilty. But then something popped into his head, something that Robert had asked him earlier and he was having a hard time trying to find the answer.
“Do you love me?” he asked so quietly it was a whisper. It felt ridicuAarons, asking his boyfriend if he loved him, but right now he just really needed to know.
Matt looked up from the ground and met Aaron’s eyes, seeing how nervous he was for the answer. “Of course I do,” he said softly.
“But why?” Aaron asked as he felt the older lad’s hands rest on his hips.
“Because,” Matt began quietly before kissing his boyfriend’s nose. “You are the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met,” he said gently. “You put everyone before yourself and without question will help someone when they need it.”
Aaron had to bite back a smile as he listened to his boyfriend and felt him get pulled into the older lad’s chest, felt his lips on his cheek before they brushed against his ear.
“I love you for everything you are and do… Not just certain little things, but everything,” Matt whispered to him.
Aaron pulled away slightly as he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s neck. “Promise?” he asked quietly, this being exactly what he needed to hear.
Matt looked at Aaron for a moment, just took his in before cupping his cheek with his hand and pressing their lips together. “Promise,” he mumbled against him, making the younger lad smile to himself.
And before Aaron even utter “I love you” back, before he could do anything else he felt the older lad start to move them to their bedroom, and there was no reason for Aaron to stop him.
*~*
Robert carefully tried to pull the strap of his messenger bag further on his shoulder as he balanced the two steaming hot drinks in his hand.
He just wanted to check on Aaron and make sure he was okay. Especially after last night, Matt didn’t seem too happy and he would feel awful if something happened to Aaron because of him.
So when he got to Aaron’s flat he knocked on the door, wincing at the pounding feeling in his head. Which actually reminded him he had coffee in his hand and took a grateful sip before the door swung open, of course revealing the one and only Matt.
“Can I help you?” Matt asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yeah, good morning to you too,” Robert muttered as he looked at Matt, noticing he was only in his boxers and his hair dripping wet. “Is Aaron here? I have hangover tea and I wanted to walk to class.”
Matt looked at him for a second, his eyes baring into him before he let out a deep breath, like it was a huge inconvenience he was here. “He’s in the shower, should be out in a sec,” he huffed out. “Had to clean up after last night… And this morning,” Matt said, sending the younger lad a wink.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he opened and closed his mouth, not quite sure what to say. “Uhm, alright…” he mumbled. “Could you just let him know I’m here?”
Matt hummed and walked a bit into the flat before nodding at Robert, silently telling him to follow him in. “Babe! Rupert is here so you guys can walk to class!” he said Loud enough so Aaron could hear him from the bathroom.
“It’s Robert,” Robert said a bit angered. By now he knew Matt knew his name, but was too much of an arse to actually say it.
“Yeah, here’s the thing, I don’t care,” Matt said as he shrugged to himself.
Robert felt his jaw go slack and just before he was about to say something he saw Aaron rushing out of what look like a bedroom with his own hair dripping wet and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.
“Robert!!” he said excitedly.
“Uhm R-hey,” Robert managed to say before he cleared his throat and peeled his eyes away from the blue eyed lad.
“If I knew you were coming I would’ve been out sooner,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “Gimme like 5 minutes and we can head to class.”
“Take your time,” Robert said, offering the older lad a small smile.
Matt looked between the two and rolled his eyes as he saw the dopey look on Robert’s face. But once Aaron was back in their bedroom with the door closed he turned to the younger lad.
“Listen, I don’t know what your deal is with him, but back off,” he said coldly.
Robert raised his eyebrows at Matt, not really sure where this was coming from. “Aaron and I are just mates, you seriously need to relax.”
“I see the way you look at him kid, it’s not like it’s some secret,” Matt scoffed. “But what you need to understand is that Aaron isn’t looking for someone with no job, no money, no nothing,” he said, stepping closer to Robert. “He wants a real man, a man who can provide for him.”
“Right…” Robert said slowly as he combed his fingers through his curls. “Well I’m sure you don’t have to worry about me then cause he has a ‘real man’ like you in his life,” he said through a small laugh as he rolled his eyes.
“I’m warning you here,” Matt said angrily. “Stay away from him.”
“And if I don’t?” Robert asked with a challenging smirk.
“I think you forgot something mate,” Matt said lowly. “I work for a record label, and I hear you want to be famous,” he said, and it was almost immediate Robert’s face fell, making Matt smile to himself. “You don’t even want to know how easy it would be for me to tell my company and every other record company in England that a certain curly headed wannabe has no talent and to not waste their time,” he threatened. “Stay away from Aaron.”
Robert swallowed thickly, his eyes locked with Matt’s, the older lad refusing to break his glare.
“Ready to go?” Aaron asked happily as he came back in the room with his backpack slung over his shoulder.
Robert opened his mouth, wanting to say something but his mouth had gone dry and he could barely feel himself breathing as he looked over to the blue eyed lad. So instead of saying anything he just nodded and offered him a tight lined smile before backing away from Matt.
“Have an amazing day love,” Matt said as he reached for his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Text me later alright?”
Aaron nodded as he grinned up at his boyfriend before standing on his toes and pressing their together.
Robert let out a quiet breath as he shuffled awkwardly on his feet, and to make it worse just as he saw Aaron about to pull away he watched Matt pull him even closer, and Robert couldn’t stop his blood from boiling. He knew Matt was just dangling Aaron in front of him, but it’s not like there was anything he could do to stop it.
“Alright babe,” Aaron said through a chuckle as he finally pulled away from his boyfriend. “We really need to get going, but I love you, and I’ll see you for dinner.”
“Love you too,” Matt said softly before pecking Aaron’s lips.
Aaron smiled back at his boyfriend one more time before turning to Robert and raising his eyebrows at him. “Ready?”
Robert hummed and nodded to himself before heading towards the door with Aaron following him. “I uhm, I got you tea cause I know you don’t like coffee,” he said quietly once they were in the hallway. “Wasn’t quite sure how you’d be feeling this morning.”
“You seriously are the best, my God,” Aaron said before he gratefully took the cup from Robert. “And I’m surprisingly great,” he said happily. “Last night was just… Amazing.”
Robert raised his eyebrows at that and looked down at Aaron as they entered the lift, only to see Aaron trying to bite back a smile and hide his blush.
“Matt and I we uh, well we’re just really good right now. Better than we’ve been in a long time,” he said softly. “And this morning he woke me up and had a big breakfast made and then we uhm… Ya know, uhm,” Aaron said sheepishly as he shook his head, remembering last night and then this morning’s shower. “But yeah, I’m really great.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded and the lift stopped, the lobby greeting them before they walked out and onto the busy city street.
“Are you okay? You’re being kinda quiet,” Aaron said with furrowed eyebrows before he took a sip of his tea.
“Uhm yeah, m’fine,” Robert said quietly as he brushed his curls out of his eyes. “Just hungover I guess.”
“Oh, I have aspirin if you want some,” Aaron offered, already reaching for his backpack’s pocket. “And if you want I’ll take notes during class and you can just copy them later. That way you can relax and just rest up,” he said as he pat Robert on the back and gave him the bottle of pills.
Robert had to almost fight the smile that spread across his face as he looked over at the older lad and took the pills from him. “Thanks Aaron.”
And the grin he got back from Aaron was enough for Robert to forget what Matt had said to him, well almost forget.
*~*
“It’s my favorite lima bean!!” Aaron said excitedly as he nearly ran at his best mate.
“Aaron!!” Pete said, already standing up from the table and bounding towards the older lad before crushing him in a hug. “Holy shit, I’ve missed you so much!!” he mumbled into his best mate’s neck.
Aaron couldn’t even say anything, he was too overwhelmed with the fact that Pete, his actual best mate was in front of him.
“Okay, okay, I’m done crushing you,” Pete said through a small laugh as he released the blue eyed lad. “Alright mate, you know the drill. Sit, tell me what’s been going on,” he said, pointing to the seat across from him. “First off though I want you to explain the voicemail you left me at 3 this morning,” Pete said as he laughed to himself.
“What voicemail?” Aaron asked confused as he got comfortable in his seat.
Pete smirked to himself, expecting Aaron to not remember or have no clue what he was talking about. So he pulled his phone out and passed it to his best mate before the voicemail started playing on speaker.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he listened but his face almost immediately started heating up as he remembered last night and his call to his mum about where Robert lived. But instead of calling his mum he called Pete. That’s better though. There would be no doubt in his mind that if his mum got that he would get one angry phone call.
But even with Pete listening it was more than embarrassing. He was clearly so drunk, talking about Robert, then some nonsense, before talking about Robert even more. He was slurring and yelling everything, and it was one of those voicemails that your mates use as blackmail, it was that bad.
“So I have a few questions,” Pete said through a smirk once the voicemail finished playing. “But my first and most important question is who is Robert and why are you obsessed with him?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
“I’m not obsessed with him,” Aaron said in a matter of fact tone as he rolled his eyes. “He’s just awesome,” he said through a small smile.
Pete raised his eyebrows at that, wanting the older lad to continue.
“He’s just this guy in one of my classes and he’s really cool, super fun to be with and just overall great. It’s actually pretty unfair how great he is,” Aaron breathed out as he combed his fingers through his hair and picked up his menu.
“And you like him?” Pete asked through a small smirk, looking over the top of his own menu and to his best mate.
“I’m dating Matt,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes.
“And he’s a fucking dick,” Pete said, annoyed at just the thought of Aaron’s boyfriend. “Seriously, please tell me you like this Robert guy so you can leave Matt and we can all be happy.”
“I’ll have you know that I am very happy with my boyfrie-”
“Lies,” Pete interrupted him before shaking his head and looking back down at his menu. “You’ve been miserable since you moved in with him, even before that.”
Aaron nibbled on his bottom lip as he listened to his best mate and shrugged. “Last night and this morning were really good.”
“Congrats, two days out of the 8 or 9 months you guys have been together were good,” Pete muttered.
“C’mon that’s not fair,” Aaron said quietly. “The first couple months were really great, even you liked him for a bit.”
“Yeah, I liked him up until the point he started threatening me and telling me to stay away from you. Like who the hell does he think he is?” Pete asked annoyed. “Even before that I didn’t like him. I somewhat tolerated him because you liked him, but he was a total arse from day one.”
Aaron stayed quiet as he looked to his hands folded in his lap and bit his lip, not really sure what to say.
“Listen,” Pete said softly, wanting the older lad to look at him, and once Aaron did he continued. “I know you don’t like it when I talk about him, and I’m sorry. But I hate the way he treats you and the fact that he basically won’t let me see you… Like that’s ridicuAarons. You deserve someone so much better than that Aaron.”
“Robert kinda said the same thing last night,” Aaron breathed out. “I don’t think he likes Matt either, and I know Adam doesn’t.”
“Who’s Adam?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Robert’s best mate, he was drinking with us for a bit last night,” Aaron filled in.
“Alright, well that’s three of us that don’t like him, and as far as I’m concerned the three of us are your only friends and our opinions matter,” Pete said, trying to further his point.
Aaron took in what Pete was saying, and he had never felt so confused. He loved Matt, at least he thought he loved Matt. But then at the same time he couldn’t help but think that if he really loved his boyfriend he shouldn’t have to think about it, he should just know.
Aaron was taken out of his thoughts as a waiter came to take their order and once he was gone Pete immediately looked to him.
“So do you like this Robert guy or what?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Just talking about him you seem really happy.”
“Well of course I like him,” Aaron said easily, but once he saw the look Pete was giving him he understood what he really meant. “Would you stop? No, I’m dating Matt,” he said before rolling his eyes and reaching for his water.
“And he’s such a dick,” Pete groaned into his hands. “Like you’ve known this guy for what? A day, and not once have I heard or seen you be this happy with Matt.”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he shook his head, not wanting to talk about this.
“Alright, alright, fine,” Pete said, putting his hands up in defeat as he saw the older lad’s face. “Just tell me about him then. You are my best mate, I need to make sure this Robert guy and uhm, what’s his name? Adam? Are good company for you too keep.”
“You’re seriously the most protective person in the world,” Aaron said through a small smile.
“And you’re welcome,” Pete said as he laughed to himself. “But seriously, tell me about them.”
“Uhm alright, well Adam is studying to be a teacher like me, for music though, and Robert is studying music in general. He wants to be a musician,” Aaron said as he nodded to himself. “I would really love to hear either of them play. Robert says he does a lot of gigs in city square in different pubs and I guess Adam is really good at piano. The three of us actually have a choir class together in a few hours so maybe then I’ll be able to hear them sing something. I actually just had a class with Robert this morning.”
“You had a class with Robert this morning?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Aaron nodded as the waiter placed their drinks down and picked his own up before taking a sip.
“Why didn’t you invite him to lunch? I would’ve loved to meet him.”
Aaron bit his lip as he ran his fingers through his hair. “He uhm… Well I dunno honestly, I would’ve liked you to meet him too,” he said quietly. “This morning he was being really quiet though. And I texted him before I came in here actually to see if he wanted to meet up before choir but he hasn’t answered me.”
“Well don’t worry about it Aaron, maybe he’s with someone or is busy,” Pete shrugged.
“It’s just weird,” Aaron shook his head. “Like he’s this really bubbly, funny and outgoing guy, but today it was like he wanted nothing to do with me…”
Pete looked at his best mate and even if Aaron didn’t want to admit it he could see that the older lad did have a thing for this guy. But he didn’t want to push him. Relationships were always delicate when it came to Aaron and right now he seemed to be a bit more than confused with everything that was going on between Matt and Robert.
“Whatever, it’s not a big deal,” Aaron shook his head. “I’ve known him a day, it’s nothing.”
Pete nodded and offered him a small smile, knowing Aaron could easily start over thinking all of this if he said the wrong thing. “He’s probably busy Aaron, maybe he has another class, it’s fine,” he tried to reassure him. “But tell me about him. I mean I want to know what’s so special about him that made you fall in love with him over the course of a day.”
Aaron rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that found it’s way to his face as he looked at his best mate. But he entertained Pete, telling the younger lad what he knew about Robert. About the green eyed lad’s sister that he talked about so much, all the crazy stories he told him and his dream of becoming a famous musician. And if he casually slipped in that Robert may or may not be one of the most attractive people he’s ever seen at least Pete was nice enough not to call him out on it.
*~*
“Aaron!!”
Aaron looked up as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and couldn’t help but smile to himself as he saw the Irish lad already in the choir room. “Hey mate!” he said happily.
“You have no clue how happy I am that you’re in this class now!! I’m a tenor and I’m guessing you are too, so that means we’ll be in the same section, and hopefully next to each other!” Adam said excitedly.
Aaron was almost having a hard time keeping up, but he couldn’t miss how happy the younger lad was just from him being there. “Yeah I am a tenor, and it’d be cool if we were next to each other, gives me someone to talk to.”
“Exactly!” Adam said as he clapped his hands together. “R is a baritone, and he’s not even here today so-”
“Wait, what?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows. “But he was in class this morning,” he said confused. “I mean like, he picked me up and he walked me to class, why isn’t he here?”
Adam opened his mouth to say something, just before a small smirk made it’s way to his face. “He walked you to class huh?” he asked amused.
“Uhm, yeah,” Aaron said as he scratched the back of his neck. “And I texted him a couple hours ago but he never answered me, is he alright?”
“Oh, he’s fine,” Adam shrugged like it was nothing. “He’s just working on a new song right now and our teacher adores him so he’s letting R miss this class. It is the first day after all, it’s no big deal.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows at that, not believing that a teacher could love a student so much that he’d let him miss a class to work on a song. And just as he was about to open his mouth to say something the teacher made his way up to the front and got everyone’s attention.
“Alright, alright, quiet down!” he said, earning immediate silence. “For those of you that don’t know I’m professor Schultz, but please, call me Dean, I hate that professor stuff. So, if you could all get on the bleachers, find your section and we’ll get started.”
Aaron looked over to Adam, having no clue where their section was before the irish lad smiled at him and nodded to the right side of the bleachers.
“Mr. Barton, if you please, today you’ll be playing piano since Robert isn’t here,” Dean said, getting him before he took his place in his section.
Adam let out a small huff, having a feeling he would have to this because of Robert’s absence. “Only for you Dean,” he muttered through a small smile before taking a seat in front of the piano.
Aaron bit his lip, now feeling his nerves pick back up that Adam wasn’t with him. But at least he knew he was in the right spot when he looked to the Irish lad and he smile and nodded at him. So Aaron grinned back at him, happy that he knew at least one person here today. But he also learned something, and that was that Robert was basically the star of the choir, and not only that, but he also played piano for the choir. And now more than ever did Aaron want to hear the younger lad play something, just anything, because he must be pretty amazing if he was put so high up on this pedestal.
But by the end of class Robert still wasn’t there and Aaron really wasn’t all that surprised. However he was surprised by Adam’s piano playing skill and his voice that was definitely better than any of the other tenors. And Aaron was also more than relieved that he felt so comfortable here. He was nervous he would stick out and not be nearly as good as everyone else, but he worried for no reason.
“Hey Aaron!” Adam called after the older lad, trying to catch him before he walked out of the room.
“What’s up mate?” Aaron asked through a soft smile.
“You wanna grab some dinner? Rob is still working on his song or whatever and I need a friend,” Adam pouted, trying to guilt him.
Aaron’s grin widened as he thought about it and nodded, this being a nice opportunity to get to know Adam better. “Sure, lead the way,” he said happily.
Adam was nearly jumping for joy as he heard that and Aaron couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he pulled his phone out to text Matt.
To Matty!!: Going to dinner with Adam, I’ll text you when I’m coming home :)
*~*
“So, you and Robert have known each other for how long?” Aaron asked before taking a bite of his burger.
“I moved to England in Year 11 and we’ve been best mates since then,” Adam said happily with his mouth full. “We were both really into music so ya know we bonded over that and stuff.”
“That’s nice,” Aaron said through a soft smile. “And now you guys live together and everything, that’s cute.”
Adam laughed to himself as he shrugged and shoved more fries in his mouth. “Oh, I know, we’re the cutest.”
“I dunno Adam, my best mate and I might beat you and Robert out for the cuteness award.”
“Try me,” Adam said challengingly.
“We grew up together,” Aaron said simply before taking another bite of his food. “Our mum’s are friends, so I’ve known Pete since we were babies. We learned how to walk and talk together. Grew up being power rangers and super heros, and not once have we stopped being best mates.”
Adam felt his smile drop as he let out a small huff. “Fine, you win,” he muttered. “That’s really cute and I hate you for it.”
“You don’t hate me,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes.
“I know,” Adam breathed out, actually really liking the blue eyed lad.
Aaron laughed to himself as he rolled his eyes and just as he was about to say something he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
From Robert: Queen’s Pub, 9 pm. Don’t tell Matt.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows at the message, this being the first text from Robert he’s gotten all day. And to make it more confusing he didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell Matt.
“Uhm, so Robert texted me-”
“Queens Pub?” Adam asked, already knowing what Aaron was going to say. “Yeah, he has a gig tonight. I was gonna tell you but he told me not to cause he wanted to himself or something. I dunno, he’s crazy,” he shrugged.
“Alright, but is there a reason I can’t tell Matt?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Adam stopped his chewing for a second before swallowing and biting his lip. “Uhm yeah…” he said quietly.
“Why?” Aaron asked confused.
Adam nibbled his lip, not quite sure what to say or if he should say anything. Robert had told him what Matt said to him, well what Matt threatened him and he didn’t want to get in the middle of it.
“There’s a uhm, a capacity limit in the pub and I’m sure they sold all the tickets, R is really popular there,” he rushed out, trying to come up with anything. “You can’t get in without a ticket, so I guess Robert doesn’t want you to waste Matt’s time or something, he wouldn’t even be let in.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth still a bit confused, but dropped the subject, at least happy that he got to see Robert perform tonight. And maybe he could ask the younger lad why he’s been acting weird all day.
*~*
“Adam!! Adam you can’t rush ahead, I have no clue where I’m going!!” Aaron screamed over the crowded pub.
And a second later Aaron felt a hand grab his arm and start pulling him in the direction of where a small stage was set up with a piano and guitar.
When Adam said Robert was popular he didn’t think he meant this popular. It was a Thursday night and there were so many people there was barely enough room to move, but somehow Adam managed to squeeze them towards the front, not without grabbing two beers from one of the waitresses.
“Perks of being mates with the performer, free drinks!” Adam said happily. “And a table!!” he said before thanking the person saving a table near the stage for them and taking a seat.
“These people must really love Robert,” Aaron said, accepting the beer Adam was offering him.
“You have no clue mate,” Adam scoffed. “He plays here every Thursday and every Thursday it’s packed, it’s nuts.”
“Does he have other gigs?” Aaron asked before taking a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, Thursday through Saturday he’s got gigs at different pubs and usually other nights people will call him and ask him to perform. It’s pretty awesome if I’m being honest. I just hope someone will find him soon and offer him a record deal or something, he’s worked so hard, he deserves it.”
Aaron smiled to himself as he listened to Adam and he couldn’t even imagine how hard it’s been for Robert the past couple years, trying to convince people to let him play and get a fanbase going all the while going to school. But he thought he could help. Aaron was sure there was at least one person at Matt’s job that would be willing to listen to him, and he knew a couple of the people at the record company, maybe he could pull a few strings.
“Queens Pub, how’re we doin tonight?!”
Aaron jumped in his seat at the all too familiar voice and the bar cheering and clapping like crazy. He looked up and of course there was Robert, gripping the microphone in front of him with one hand and a wide smile plastered on his face.
“Good, good, just what I love to hear!” Robert said happily as he scDianed over the crowd, only to get stuck on a certain blue eyed lad and smiling softly at him.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold back his own grin as he saw Robert looking down at him. Luckily though the younger lad went back to entertaining the crowd, introducing himself and once he was done with that he picked up his guitar. And it was almost immediate Robert started playing, the sounds of the guitar filling the pub and making Aaron lock his eyes on the younger lad.
Already Aaron could see he was great, amazing even. His fingers picking so effortlessly and his foot stomping with the beat before he leaned into the microphone and began singing. And at that even if Aaron wanted to he doesn’t think he would’ve been able to stop his jaw from going slack.
Everyone in the pub was singing along to the song, and some were just screaming and cheering and Aaron couldn’t believe it. That pedestal everyone seemed to put Robert on made sense now, because he truly was incredible. It was like he was born to entertain, supposed to be a singer, and the smile that Robert had the entire time showed just how much he loved what he did.
Robert had complete control up there, he wrote the lyrics, wrote the music and it was evident just how much everyone loved him from how they were singing to every song, whether he was playing it on the piano or on the guitar. And everything, no matter what it was he was doing people went crazy over it, even his horrid jokes and when he tripped over a cord that was on stage he played it off well, making the pub burst into laughter.
“I meant to do that,” Robert muttered as he settled himself down at the piano. “Alright, this is the last song of the night,” he said, earning a few groans and boos from the crowd. “Hey now, alright, alright.” Robert said, trying to calm them down. “But this is actually a new song… A really new one considering I wrote it today, but hopefully you guys will enjoy it!”
And of the course the crowd clapped and cheered, Aaron and Adam being one of the Aarondest there, and earning a soft smile from Robert on stage.
Aaron felt like he was buzzing, just listening to Robert was giving him such a rush, it was crazy. All night he’s been so good, every song was brilliantly written, the melodies mesmerizing and it made you want more and more.
But this song, for some reason Robert waited until the crowd went near silent, and within a second everything felt serious. And that’s when he hit the first chords on the piano, the notes coming out soft and beautiful, almost hypnotizing as his fingers danced across the keys.
Just before Robert opening his mouth to sing though he looked up and locked his eyes with Aaron’s. Taking in a soft breath before he started to sing, never taking his eyes of the older lad. (X)
Much as you blame yourself you can’t be blamed for the way that you feel
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you’ve never had?
If you let me I can help you out with all of that
Aaron sat there frozen, Robert’s eyes digging into him like daggers as he played. There was nothing he could do. He could barely breathe as the younger lad sang and even though Aaron wanted to stop it, he couldn’t help the pressure rising in his chest.
Let me love you
And I will love you, until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
I know your troubles, don’t be afraid, oh I can help
Let me love you
And I will love you, until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
A heart of numbness gets brought to life, I’ll take you there
Aaron swallowed thickly as the piano took over for a moment and he broke eye contact with Robert just to glance over at Adam. But he wasn’t so shocked to see Adam’s jaw completely slack and himself looking like he wasn’t breathing. And when Aaron turned back to Robert he should’ve expected the younger lad’s eyes to still be on him as he played.
I can see the pain behind your eyes it’s been there for quite a while
I just want to be the one to remind you what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do
And that’s what did it. Aaron could feel tears nearly brimming his eyes as Robert got Aaronder, his playing more intense as he sang the chorus over again with more momentum than before. And Aaron could see how much every word meant to Robert, making the fight to hold back his tears that much harder.
But when the song was over the only thing heard in the packed pub was the gentle ring of the piano’s last note before the crowd went into a frenzy.
Robert’s eyes still locked on Aaron’s, his face a mixture between scared and nervous. But still, he got up from his seat and thanked the crowd one more time before heading off stage. And when Aaron tried to follow after him, it was nearly impossible with the amount of people trying to talk to the younger lad.
So he waited and waited, and it wasn’t until nearly an hour later did he find out that Robert had left. But almost as if on cue his phone buzzed in his pocket, only to see Robert’s name flash across the screen.
From Robert: Don’t tell Matt.
*~*
Aaron let out a deep breath as he stepped out of the lift and looked left and right, trying to figure out which way to go. And thankfully enough he found the door he was looking for before walking right up to and knocking a bit more forcefully than he intended.
But nevertheless the person he’s been looking for for over three hours was finally in front of him.
“Aaron,” Robert said a bit startled. “Uhm how- I mean like… How do you know where I live?”
“You said you lived two blocks away from me so I went to every flat complex looking for you and here you are and you need to explain what happened today because I’m confused and you’re ignoring me and I have no clue what’s going on,” Aaron rushed out before rubbing his hands over his face frustratedly.
Robert stood there silent for a moment, not quite sure what to say. “Wait, does Matt know you’re here?” he asked nervously.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows and opened and closed his mouth before letting out an annoyed groan. “No and what is it with you and being so concerned with Matt?”
Robert quickly shook his head, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’m not, he just doesn’t like me and uh, I don’t want to get in the middle of your guys’ relationship,” he came up with.
Aaron looked at the younger lad for a moment as he bit his lip, himself at a loss of what to say. “What happened today?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing,” Robert shrugged, but as soon as he saw Aaron’s face he knew he couldn’t get off that easy. “Just… It’s better if when we hang out you don’t tell Matt,” he barely whispered.
Aaron let out a quiet breath, this being almost the same exact thing he has to do with Pete. “Fine,” he said, nodding to himself. “But what about that song? I mean what you played was…” Aaron trailed off, not even able to think of any words to describe what he heard.
At that Robert didn’t know what to say. It was stupid of him to play that, in front of Aaron especially and now he couldn’t come up with an excuse for it even if he tried. “Just a song,” he said quietly.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded to himself, he really shouldn’t have expected anything more. “Right, right… I’m uhm, I’m sorry for just showing up here.”
Robert couldn’t help but feel terrible as he looked at the older lad. He didn’t want to hurt Aaron or make him confused, those were the last things he wanted to do to him. And without even realizing what he was doing himself he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s shoulders and pulled him into his chest.
Aaron was a bit taken back at first but then found his own arms coming around Robert’s middle before he rested his head on his shoulder. And he doesn’t know what it was, what he was feeling while the younger lad just held him, but then a word suddenly popped into his head, without having to think about it, it was there.
Comfort.
And even when the two let go, Robert promising to see him tomorrow Aaron still felt it.
On his walk home, that's all he could think about, was how comfortable and warm he was with Robert, how at peace he was with him.
But almost as if it was a switch when he got home and climbed into bed with his boyfriend, Matt’s arm secured over his waist it was gone. And Aaron wanted to do absolutely everything to get that feeling he had with Robert back.
*~*
1 Month Later
“Rob stop,” Aaron groaned as he reached for the younger lad’s hand.
“I’m not doing anything,” Robert said through a chuckle as he got his hand out of Aaron’s grip and slowly hovered it towards his side.
Aaron quickly sat up on the couch, taking his head off of Robert’s lap and glared at him. “You’re a menace and I hate you and you’re not touching me.”
“Aw c’mon Aaron, I was just playing,” Robert said, his tickle attack now ruined. “Lay back down, it’s fine,” he said, patting his thighs where the older lad was resting his head.
Aaron squared his eyes at him, not believing a thing the curly haired lad was saying.
“Please,” Robert nearly begged as he pat his thighs again. “I promise my hands will stay above your shoulders and if they don’t I’ll make you dinner. Deal?”
He thought about it for a second before letting out a huff and laying back down on the younger lad’s lap. Aaron was always sucker if dinner was involved and when it came to Robert and keeping his hands to himself he knew he would be fed well tonight.
“Are you coming to my show tomorrow?” Robert asked as he combed his fingers through Aaron’s hair, trying to mess it up.
“Of course,” Aaron said like that was a stupid question.
“Well I didn’t know, you only come to like one a week,” Robert breathed out.
Aaron bit his lip, always feeling bad that he couldn’t go to that many shows because if he did Matt would complain and ask where he’s been and with who. “Well I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said quietly.
“Good,” Robert said softly as he smiled to himself and continued to brush his fingers through the older lad’s hair.
Aaron grinned back up at him before reaching for Robert’s hand and began playing with his fingers. Every time he did this he could see the new calluses on the younger lad’s fingertips from playing guitar and it made him think back to all of the songs that Robert has written.
It was like every week he had a new song, and he made a point of playing it at the shows that Aaron went to.
Aaron doesn’t ask what the songs mean anymore, instead he’ll sit at a table with Adam and just listen. He’ll feel his breathing slow and his stomach twist into knots as Robert plays and looks directly at him while doing so. But Aaron doesn’t ask, and Robert doesn’t tell.
A second later the two jumped at the sound of a phone ringing and almost immediately did Robert take his hand out of Aaron’s and reach into the older lad’s pocket.
But when he saw Matt’s name on the screen he rolled his eyes and tossed it on the middle of the carpet.
“C’mon R,” Aaron whined as he tried to reach for his phone from his place on the couch, but was no where close to getting it.
“Oh no, looks like it has to go to voicemail,” Robert said, not sounding sorry at all.
Aaron let out a huff and just as he was about to sit up and get his phone he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around his waist. “Robert,” he groaned, trying to get out of his grip.
“No,” Robert said, trying to pull Aaron back.
In one final attempt Aaron threw himself forward, only to send both him and Robert barreling towards the ground.
Robert let out a Loud laugh as he landed on top of the older lad, only for Aaron to groan from the extra weight on him. And Aaron wished he could say that they haven’t been in this exact position before, but unfortunately the amount of times is too many to count.
Aaron was able to reach for his phone though and once he had it Robert was still on top of him and looked like he had no plans on moving. “Hello?”
“Where are you?”
Aaron was about to answer but before he could Robert slapped the phone away from him, making it fall on the floor. “Would you stop?” he asked through a chuckle before reaching for his phone again.
Robert shook his head and laughed to himself as he tried to take the phone from the older lad yet again.
“Robert I swear-” Aaron half threatened, trying to stop himself from laughing as he pushed the younger lad’s hand away.
“What are you doing with him?” Matt asked angrily into the phone.
Aaron felt himself freeze for a second and it seemed that Robert was frozen on top of him too. “Uhm, I’m uh at a study group and he showed up…” he said slowly. “Yeah and he’s just trying to get me off the phone cause we’re doing this thing with the group and just yeah…”
Robert almost wanted to slap a hand over his face for horrible of a liar Aaron was, but instead he watched as the older lad was intently listening to his boyfriend on the other line. He settled himself on Aaron, his thighs on either side of him and bum firmly pressed into the blue eyed lad’s stomach. But by now Aaron wasn’t even trying to push him off, instead resting his free hand on Robert’s waist as he talked into the phone.
“What’d captain dickhead want?” Robert asked as soon as Aaron hung up the phone.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he threw his phone to the side and rested both his hands on Robert’s waist. “The usual,” he muttered.
“No,” Robert whined. “Don’t go, c’mon, I was gonna make dinner and then put on a scary movie so I could watch you freak out.”
“Sorry,” Aaron said quietly as he gently pushed the younger lad off him. “Maybe tomorrow though,” he offered as Robert got off him. “Matt is going out with all his mates and I know he’ll be so drunk by the time he comes home he won’t even realize if I’m there or not.”
“Lovely,” Robert mumbled. “Alright, fine, tomorrow night after my show it is.”
Aaron offered him a small smile before getting up from the ground and grabbing his phone. “I’ll text you later,” he said, making his way towards the door.
Robert laid back on the ground before letting out a deep breath. “I’ll miss you!” he called out.
Aaron laughed to himself and rolled his eyes before opening the door. “I’ll miss you too!” he said over his shoulder before heading out into the hallway, needing to get back to his own flat.
*~*
“Hey, uh, thanks for meeting me,” Robert said nervously as he took a seat across from the older lad.
“Well it has to do with my best mate, so of course I’d see you,” Pete said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Robert swallowed thickly as he looked at Pete and couldn’t get over his feeling of nervousness.
He met Pete maybe two weeks after he and Aaron started hanging out and from the beginning Robert felt like the brown eyed lad didn’t like him. He wasn’t sure if it was Pete being overprotective like Aaron said he was or something else. But to say he was intimated by Pete would be an understatement. He was Aaron’s best mate after all, he wanted to be on his good side.
“So uhm, I just… I really need your help with something,” Robert said as he combed his fingers through the front of his curls. “Okay, well maybe not help, but I just need to know what Aaron is thinking about uhm… About us,” he said as he bit his lip and looked to his folded hands on the table. “Well that is if you know something.”
“I know everything, trust me,” Pete breathed out. “He’s my best mate and I may not see him as often as I would like but I do know every little thing that’s going on in his life.”
“Alright, so…?” Robert asked slowly.
Pete looked at the younger lad across from him before letting out a quiet breath. “I know you’re confusing him with all the songs you’re writing, and then refuse to explain.”
Robert bit his lip, not quite sure how to explain himself with that. “I just… I dunno I want him to know how I feel but I can’t just say it because of Matt and it’s… Everything is just complicated,” he said quietly.
Pete seemed to accept the answer. He knew himself how annoying everything got when Matt was involved. “I’m just gonna say that at this point he’s basically done with Matt,” he said, gaining Robert’s attention. “But he’s terrified and won’t do anything about it.”
“What? Why?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows.
He knew that when he and Aaron really started hanging out he could see the older lad and Matt’s relationship deteriorating. And he was hoping that sooner rather than later Aaron would leave Matt and he could swoop in.
“Robert I don’t think you understand how sensitive he is,” Pete said with raised eyebrows. “Matt is his first serious relationship and it’s been rocky… He’s scared and doesn’t know what it’s like to actually be loved, and he thinks what he has with Matt is love, he’s not gonna leave that.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something to say. He knew for a fact that he cares about Aaron more than Matt does and ever will, he doesn’t understand how the blue eyed lad doesn’t see that.
“Listen, all I know is that Aaron isn’t gonna do or change anything until someone tells him to. Unless someone,” he began, raising his eyebrows at Robert, giving him a silent message, “explicitly says they want to be with him and do something to convince him to leave Matt.”
Robert let out a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face. He knew he could tell Aaron how he feels, could easily tell him to leave Matt, but there was something in his way.
If Matt found out that Aaron left him to be with Robert then he would talk to the people in his record company, and every other record company in England, killing his chances of being noticed. But in the end, it was up to Robert, if Aaron was worth that, worth giving up his dream.
“Don’t do anything if you’re not committed,” Pete said as he squared his eyes at the younger lad. “If you really care about him you shouldn’t have to think, you should know…”
“No, I do… I do know,” Robert said quietly before clearing his throat. “Uhm thanks Pete, I appreciate it.”
He offered Pete a tight lined smile before standing up from his seat and began heading towards the door with a million thoughts running through his head.
*~*
Robert bit his lip nervously as he checked the time on his phone, it getting closer and closer to showtime but Aaron was nowhere in sight.
“Adam you haven’t heard anything from him or seen him?” he asked as he began pacing the side of the stage.
“No, sorry mate,” Adam said as he shrugged to himself. “He hasn’t answered my texts and I tried calling him too,” he said, knowing how important tonight was for his best mate.
“Wait! Wait! He’s calling!” Robert said quickly before pressing his phone to his ear. “Hey Aaron, where are you?”
“Robert I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I can’t come tonight.”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as it sounded like the older lad was whispering. “Why? Are you okay? Did something happen?” he asked nervously.
“No nothing happened, I’m fine,” Aaron breathed into the phone. “It’s just that Matt canceled his plans with his mates and wanted to take me out… I didn’t want to say no.”
“You want to go out with him?” Robert asked quietly, feeling himself freeze where he was.
“Well of course, he’s my boyfriend. I do want to go out with him every now and then.”
“Right, right of course,” Robert barely whispered as he shook his head and ran his hand over his face. “Okay, uhm, it’s whatever… I’ll just see you tomorrow then.”
Aaron was quiet on the other line for a moment before there was slight shuffling and the older lad let out a deep breath. “I really am sorry R.”
“No, it’s fine,” Robert said, not wanting him to feel bad.
“Alright… Well Matt’s waiting for me, I should go.”
“Yeah, uhm bye,” Robert said quietly and before Aaron utter anything back he hung up.
“Is he not coming?” Adam asked as soon as his best mate was off the phone.
Robert shook his head as he reached for his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder. “Maybe this is a sign or something…” he said quietly. “He’s going out with Matt, you know the guy who’s actually his boyfriend…”
“R…” Adam said quietly, unable to imagine how hurt he must be. “I’m so sorry mate… Maybe next show he can come and you can do your whole speech in front of everyone and-”
“No,” Robert said, readying himself to go on stage. “We’re only meant to be mates, that’s it.”
Adam bit his lip, wanting to say anything to make the younger lad feel better but he wasn’t able to think of anything before Robert made his way on stage.
He knew Robert was willing to give up everything. He knew what Matt threatened him with and Robert was ready to throw away the chance to get noticed by a record label for this guy. But now it didn’t even seem worth it, and Adam wanted nothing more than to help his best mate. Just from looking at the curly haired lad on the stage though he didn’t know if he could.
*~*
Robert was halfway done with his set and taking a break when Adam saw him. And it was almost immediate he stomped over to the blue eyed lad and smacked him upside the head.
“What was that for?!” Aaron asked as he rubbed his head.
“Do you know how hurt he was when you said you couldn’t come?!” Adam nearly yelled.
“Well I had a surprise, geez,” Aaron said, not so subtly pointing to the middle aged man next to him.
Adam looked to the man next to Aaron and offered him a tight lined smile and his hand to shake. “Uhm hi, m’Adam. And you are?” he asked confused.
“Michael Crawford from Five Star Records,” he introduced himself happily. “Your mate up there is something else, really incredible.”
Adam felt himself freeze before he blinked a few times, trying to understand what this man just said. “Wait you… R-how- I mean… What y-you-” he stuttered out as he looked to Aaron.
“I pulled a couple strings with Matt’s job,” Aaron shrugged. “I met Michael a few months back at one of the company parties and I had to wait a little bit to fit into his schedule but he was finally able to come to a show tonight.”
“And happy I did so,” Michael added in.
Adam was still shocked. He couldn’t form words as he looked between the two, but then he remembered something. “Robert! I need to tell Robert you’re here, it’s important!!”
“Uhm yeah sure,” Aaron said through small smile. “Michael would like to meet him too before he goes back up,” he said, looking at the older lad with raised eyebrows.
“I would love to,” Michael said, grinning back at Aaron.
Adam nodded quickly, not believing what was happening before he led the two to the side of the stage and quickly grabbing his best mate’s attention. “There’s someone here I think you’ll want to talk to,” he said to the younger lad as he saw him doing something to his guitar.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up but as soon as he saw Aaron he couldn’t help the wide smile that stretched across his face. “Aaron!!” he said excitedly before nearly lunging at the blue eyed lad and wrapping him in a hug. “What are you doing here?! I thought you said-”
“I know, I know, I lied,” Aaron said as he laughed to himself and released the younger lad. “I have a surprise,” he said happily. “Robert this is Michael, he’s from Five Star Records and is more than impressed with your performance so far tonight.”
Like Adam had Robert froze. His jaw had gone slack and almost forgot to bring up his hand to shake the older man’s hand as it was offered to him. “U-uhm I uh, it’s wow… Uhm it’s so great to meet you,” he managed to stutter out.
“You as well,” Michael said through a small smile. “Aaron here hasn’t shut up about you for nearly a month, I finally said that I had to come down and watch you and you have not disappointed.”
Robert looked to Aaron and had to fight the urge to kiss him right there. This was beyond incredible, no one had ever done something like this for him, and this could be what takes him from local pub singer to famous musician.
“Well if you want to stick around there’s plenty more,” he said through a wide smile.
“I would love to,” Michael nodded.
“Great, great, and just thank you again for being here, it means so much,” Robert gushed out, earning a “no problem” from the older lad.
“And you,” Robert said, looking to Aaron before opening his arms, the older lad immediately going into them. “I can’t thank you enough,” he whispered as he pulled Aaron impossibly closer to his chest.
Aaron smiled to himself, always loving when he was in Robert’s arms, but when he felt the younger lad press his lips to his cheek he froze.
“These last ones are for you,” Robert said as he pulled away and winked at Aaron.
Aaron was still in a bit of a daze as he nodded, but watched as Robert picked up his guitar and got back on stage.
It was impossible to miss the smug smile on Adam’s face as he looked at Aaron, but the older lad couldn’t even focus on the Irish lad because Robert was playing one of the songs that he wrote for him.
Of course Robert never said they were for him, but these were the songs that the younger lad would sing, always unable to peel his eyes off Aaron. The songs that seemed to fit their situation so perfectly.
But then Aaron had to think, what was their situation? He’s been tiptoeing around the thought of it for over a month, but now, seeing Robert up there and singing every song he’s ever written for him was too much, and it hit Aaron like a ton of bricks.
There was no fighting it, he knew, he’s known for a while now, but it wasn’t until this moment that he fully accepted it. He fell for Robert Sugden.
*~*
“Harreh!!” Aaron said excitedly as he nearly threw himself onto the younger lad’s lap. “What’d he say?! Tell me everything!!”
Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist to keep in place, knowing he’s had a couple drinks, but then again he has been a bit more touchy than normal tonight. “I have a meeting Saturday with some other people from the record label so they can hear me, and if they like me…” he trailed off through a wide smile.
Aaron slapped a hand over his mouth as he shook his head. “No?!” he nearly yelled. “Are they going to sign you?!”
Robert just barely nodded before he felt Aaron crushing him in a hug.
“Robert!! I can’t believe this!!” Aaron said, giving the younger lad one more squeeze before he finally let go and rested his hands on his shoulders.
“It’s all because of you Aaron,” Robert said, moving his hands to the blue eyed lad’s waist. “Would you uhm… You wanna get out of here?” he asked nervously, this being his chance. “I need to show you something.”
Aaron looked back at him for a second before feeling his own nerves kick in. He nodded anyway though and got off Robert so he could stand up. He waited as the younger lad got his guitar and once they were ready to leave the pub Aaron felt like a nervous wreck.
“If it’s okay with you can we go to my flat?” Robert asked as they started walked down the sidewalk. “Adam went home with some girl so it’ll just be me and you.”
“Yeah, yeah that’s fine,” Aaron said, offering the curly headed lad a small smile.
Robert grinned back at him, unable to control himself as he realized what he was about to do. But of course as he saw Aaron shiver in the October cold he immediately pulled off his jacket without question, that taking him out of his thoughts for a millisecond.
“I’m fine R,” Aaron said through a chuckle as he shook his head, not wanting Robert to be cold himself.
“Too bad I’m not asking,” Robert said as he laughed to himself and draped his oversized coat over Aaron’s shoulders. “What you did for me tonight… I would do anything for you Aaron,” he said softly.
Aaron looked up at Robert, finding it nearly impossible to stop his face from heating up at just how the younger lad was looking at him. “No, it was nothing… I just made a few calls-”
“No,” Robert said shaking his head. “Aaron I can’t… I don’t even know how I can thank you,” he said quietly. “You basically made my career possible, don’t say it was nothing.”
Aaron had to bite back his smile as he shrugged to himself and looked to his shoes. He knew there was nothing he could say to convince Robert it wasn't a big deal, so he didn’t say anything. Instead they made their way back to Robert’s flat in silence, Aaron the entire time internally freaking out because he had no clue what the younger lad wanted to show him. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and have nothing happen, so Aaron tried to stay calm, but knew he was utterly failing.
But thankfully it wasn’t too long before they were inside Robert’s flat, now the curly haired lad’s turn to be more than terrified from what he was about to do.
“Uhm just uh, you can sit,” Robert said as he scratched the back of his neck and set his guitar down, needing to take it out.
“You alright R?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows as he saw Robert’s hands nearly shaking as he picked up his guitar.
“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Robert breathed out, taking a seat next to Aaron on the couch and settling his guitar on his thigh.
Aaron looked at him for a moment, not quite believing him but nodded anyway.
“So uhm, I uh… I have to show you something and if you want me to stop I’ll stop but please… Just listen, yeah?” Robert asked nervously.
Aaron nodded slowly and he could almost see Robert sweating from how nervous he was before letting out a deep breath and placing his fingers where they needed to go.
His picking was slow and eyes trained on what he was doing, but already Aaron was at a loss of what to say. His heart was beating so fast it must have been vibrating, his palms sweaty and breathing shallow. But when he heard the younger lad start to sing he couldn’t move. (X)
I don’t have much to give but I don’t care for gold
What use is money when you need someone to hold?
Don’t have direction, I’m just rolling down this road
Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold
You’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name
He watched as Robert swallowed thickly and chanced a glance at him, but Aaron couldn’t do anything but listen, his body refusing to move as he kept his eyes locked on Robert.
Pack up and leave everything, don’t you see what I can bring?
Can’t keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover, leave him for me
Leave your lover, leave him for me
Aaron blinked quickly, trying to rid his tears as he looked between Robert and his guitar. He understood what Robert wanted in that moment, and at the same exact time Aaron felt his insides warm and goosebumps rise on his skin, knowing he wanted the same thing. That this incredible human being wanted to be with him just as badly as he did.
We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old
Oh I’m in love with you and you will never know
But if I can’t have you I want this life alone
Spare you the rising storm and let the rivers flow
Robert went back through the chorus and Aaron was crying. He couldn’t even think about how much he had probably hurt Robert, how everytime he talked about Matt it must’ve tortured the younger lad.
And once Robert had finished the room was dead silent. He placed his guitar down and looked to Aaron nervously, not knowing his reaction as he just sat there and stared at him with tear stained cheeks.
Robert bit his lip, looking for anything from the older lad. “Aaron I… Uhm,” he said slowly, scratching the back of his neck as Aaron’s eyes never left him. “I get it if you don’t mmmph-”
He sat there for a moment, completely frozen as he felt Aaron’s lips on his. One of the older lad’s hands lost in his curls while the other cupped his cheek.
Robert couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden feeling, only finding himself wrapping his arms around Aaron a second later, making their chests become pressed together. The space once between them was now closed completely, and all Robert could think about was Aaron’s lips. How warm his mouth was, how the gentle caress of his lips were softer than he ever imagined.
And then there was Aaron, completely lost and his mind filled with nothing but Robert. He was actually kissing Robert, gently running his fingers through his hair and hesitantly moving his lips against the younger lad’s, making their noses bump.
Aaron could keep going like this forever. The twisting feeling his stomach, the warmth and comfort he felt in Robert’s arms was something he never wanted to let go of. But then Aaron remembered something, rather someone as he abruptly pulled away from the younger lad.
“Oh my God…” he barely whispered as he placed a hand over his mouth. “Oh my God… What did I do?”
“Aaron?” Robert asked quietly, now terrified that he had ruined everything. “Shit Aaron I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I-”
“No, no, it’s not you,” Aaron quickly shook his head. “I want to be with you I-...” he cut himself off, trying to think of what to do. “I just… I cheated on Matt…”
Robert felt his heart drop, not sure what was going through Aaron’s head or if he actually wanted to even be with him. “Are you going back to him?” he barely whispered.
“No,” Aaron said almost immediately. “I can’t.”
Robert let out a breath of relief, not knowing what he would do if Aaron did. “What do you want to do?” he asked quietly as he hesitantly brought his hand up to rub the older lad’s back.
Aaron shook his head and thought about it for a moment. “He should be back by now… I uhm… I think I’m gonna go to the flat and talk to him.”
“I’ll come,” Robert said quickly. “Matt being Matt he probably had a few drinks, and I just don’t like the idea of you being alone with him drunk.”
Aaron bit his lip and nodded, that maybe actually being a good idea. With what he was about to tell Matt he had no clue what his boyfriend would do.
“I just want to say,” Aaron began softly, “I really really like you… Have since we met if I’m being honest,” he said sheepishly.
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he stood up from the couch and offered the older lad his hand. “I knew you were trying to ask me out,” he said teasingly.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he took Robert’s offered hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Don’t push it,” he muttered.
Robert put his hands up in defeat, earning a small laugh out of Aaron before they made their onto the city streets and to Aaron’s flat.
“What’re you gonna say to him?” Robert asked once they were in the lift up to the flat.
“Just that we haven’t been happy for a long time and it’s time to end things…” Aaron said quietly. “I’m not mentioning anything happening with you though, I know he’ll just get furious and there’s no use in trying to make him more angry than he already will be.”
Robert nodded, trying to prepare himself for anything that might happen.
When the lift stopped at the correct floor the two made their way out, both of them letting out deep breaths the closer and closer they got to the door.
“Just don’t say anything, alright?” Aaron asked quietly and once Robert nodded at him he pushed the door open.
“Aaron that you?” Matt called out.
“Yeah,” Aaron said, carefully stepping into the flat with Robert behind him.
And as Matt turned around to look at him Aaron could see him smiling, that was until he saw Robert behind him and immediately pushed himself off the couch.
“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked annoyed.
“Matt he’s fine, back off,” Aaron said quietly, wanting him to calm down.
“I told you to stay away. What part did you not you understand?” Matt asked lowly as he narrowed his eyes at Robert, trying to step closer to him. “Was it the stay away part or was it the I can end your career in a second part?”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older before looking between the two. “What?”
“Aaron it’s nothing, just say what you came here to say and let’s go,” Robert whispered to him.
“And where do you think you’re going?” Matt asked with raised eyebrows. “Do you really want to start with me right now?” he asked, staring at Robert. “One phone call, that’s all it will take… Back off and stay away from him.”
“What the hell are you talking about?!” Aaron asked, now himself angered. “Did you threaten him?! Is that was this is?!”
There was silence in the room, Matt glaring at Robert as the younger lad stood there, not sure what to say.
“I can’t believe you…” Aaron said quietly as he shook his head at Matt. “I wasn’t going to just come out and say it, but I will… Matt we’re done.”
“We’re what?” Matt nearly spat through his teeth. “Is this a joke? Are you seriously leaving me for him?” he asked stepping closer to Aaron as he pointed an angry finger at Robert.
“I never said that,” Aaron said quietly, trying to back away from the older lad. “It’s not about him, it’s about you and me.”
“It’s all because of him that this is happening!!” Matt yelled, making Aaron jump. “Don’t think for one second that he hasn’t wanted this from the beginning!!”
“Please stop screaming,” Aaron said as he swallowed thickly, hating how close the older lad was getting to him.
Matt scoffed as he rolled his eyes and looked over to Robert. “You. Get out, now.”
Aaron looked over to Robert and he was more than grateful to see the younger lad glaring right back at Matt, not moving an inch.
“I’m not going anywhere unless Aaron is,” Robert said, not moving a muscle. “Aaron, you wanna go?”
Aaron gulped and nodded, quickly trying to rush over to the younger lad’s side, but before he could even take a step a strong hand grabbed his arm.
“He and I need to talk, you on the other hand are leaving,” Matt said through gritted teeth, tightening his grip on the younger lad.
“Matt it’s over,” Robert said firmly. “Let him go, now.”
Matt looked between the two before letting out a scoff and shoving Aaron towards Robert. “Fine, you want him, have him. Get this fucking slut out of my house then,” he spat.
Robert snapped his head up from where he was looking at Aaron, trying to help the older lad stand up straight after being pushed and narrowed his eyes at Matt. “What did you just say?” he asked, taking a step closer to him.
“Robert leave it,” Aaron said quickly, pulling on the younger lad’s arm.
Robert kept his eyes locked on the man in front of him, the only reason he moved at all was because Aaron grabbed his hand and began rushing them out of the flat.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Thoughts on the first chapter ?? And if you have any questions, or want to know when I'll be updating next you can ask on here or on my tumblr :) Leave kudos, give comments, thanks !!
Chapter 2: Prologue: Leave Your Lover Part 2
Notes:
Finally, part 2 of the prologue is here !!
As I said in the first part the other chapter will not be nearly this long. These two are quite lengthy due to having to get things started in the story and give background :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aaron had his elbows resting on his knees and face hidden in his hands as he sat on Robert’s couch. His thoughts were racing and have been since they left Matt’s, but there was one thing that kept popping into his mind.
“Aaron…” Robert said softly, taking a seat next to the older lad. “You alright?” he asked, offering him a cup of tea.
Aaron slowly took his hands away from his face, his eyes never leaving the ground as he reached for the mug. “M’fine.”
Robert bit his lip, knowing for a fact that he wasn’t. “You can talk to me Aaron, it’s okay,” he said quietly.
The older lad just stared at the tea in his hands, not sure if he could explain to Robert what he was thinking. “So much happened today, and it’s just a lot to process.”
Robert nodded as he let out a quiet breath and brought his hand up to rub the older lad’s back. “Are you okay though?”
“I think so, yeah,” Aaron said, finally looking up and offering the green eyed lad a small smile. He was still in denial a bit that he was sitting here with Robert, everything out on the table. “The only thing really bothering me is what Matt called me…” he said, biting his lip. “That just hurt… We were dating for almost a year, I didn’t think he’d so easily be able to say something like that.”
Robert couldn’t even imagine what that would feel like. Dating someone for a year, thinking that you loved them and they loved you with everything they had, only for it to crumble apart right in front of you.
“I’m so sorry Aaron,” he said guiltily, this being his entire fault.
“Don’t be,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “He was a jerk, and I’m here with you now,” he said, trying to bite back his grin as he looked at the younger lad.
Robert had to fight his own smile as he looked at Aaron, but he knew his dimples were showing and a blush made it’s way to his cheeks, himself unable to believe that he had this incredible man with him.
“I still can’t believe he threatened you,” Aaron breathed out before he took a sip of his tea. “I mean to basically try to end your career before it even started…” he trailed off, unable to grip the fact that Matt had stooped to that point without even knowing Robert a day.
“I don’t care about that anymore,” Robert shook his head as he stopped rubbing Aaron’s back and instead wrapped his arm around his waist. “He can ruin whatever he wants, as long as I get you in the end.”
“Oh no,” Aaron groaned through a smile as he rested his forehead on Robert’s shoulder. “You’re one of those super sappy guys,” he said as he laughed to himself.
“Aaron I literally wrote you like an albums worth of songs…” Robert said through his own chuckle as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side.
Aaron bit his lip, trying not to smile and ignore the way his stomach twisted into knots. “I knew those were for me,” he said before putting his tea on the coffee table and tucking himself back into Robert’s side.
It was something new for Aaron to be able to comfortably sit with the younger lad like this, to cuddle with him and not feel a pinch of guilt. When he was with Matt and he and Robert would be in this exact position there was always a voice in the back of Aaron’s head telling him this wasn’t right. But now Aaron didn’t think he’d ever get used to the feeling of being in Robert’s arms, wrapped in his warmth and feeling so secure that no matter what happened he’d be protected.
“Which song was your favorite?” Robert asked, looking down at the blue eyed lad with a gentle smile.
“The one from tonight,” Aaron said quietly as he tucked his head into Robert’s neck.
“Which one? I played all of them tonight,” Robert said through a small laugh.
Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing very well Robert knew which one he meant. “The one you played here,” he said, looking up at the younger lad, unable to stop the soft smile that made it’s way to his face.
Even if Robert wanted to he wouldn’t have been able to hold back his own grin as he looked down at Aaron. “You know I meant every word in all those songs right?” he asked softly.
Aaron’s eyes flickered from Robert’s to the younger lad’s lips before looking back up to him and realizing they were close enough that their breaths were mixing. And Aaron couldn’t help it, but instead of nodding he reached one of his hands up, burying it in Robert’s curls, and almost a second later was the green eyed lad’s lips on his. Him releasing a deep breath through his nose, like he had been waiting to do this forever.
"Thank you Robert," Aaron said so quietly once they released that if the younger lad wasn't listening he wouldn't have caught it.
"For what?" Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Everything," Aaron breathed out. "You just... You've done so much for me, you don't even know."
Robert didn't even try to hold back his smile as he leaned towards the older lad again and kissed him gently. "I'd do anything for you Aaron," he said softly.
Aaron offered him a small grin back as he rested his hand on the younger lad's thigh and his head on his shoulder. "Does that include maybe going with me too get my things from Matt's tomorrow?" he asked, biting his lip.
"Of course," Robert said as if it was ridicuAarons he would even have to ask.
"I could always get Pete to help too," Aaron said quietly, not wanting to just throw all of this on Robert. "I texted him and told him what happened... He said I can stay with him and he wants to meet up so we can talk."
"Really Aaron, it's no problem," Robert assured him. "What does he want to talk to you about?"
"I dunno," Aaron shrugged. "Pete being Pete he'll ask how I'm doing and probably talk about you, ask what we're doing as far as a relationship goes," he said as he bit his lip.
Robert nodded slowly, thinking they themselves should probably talk about that. “Well what do you want to do? About us I mean?” he asked quietly.
“Is it bad of me to want to date you?” Aaron asked genuinely. “I mean… I just broke up with Matt, but I want to be with you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that Aaron,” Robert said softly as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side. “I mean if you think about it since we’ve met we’ve been dating,” he said through a small laugh. “Like we basically did everything a couple would do except the physical stuff.”
Aaron let out a deep breath, not so sure if that made him feel better or worse because that was true. They would cuddle, go out to eat, constantly be touching each other and talk about everything and anything, no matter what it was. But it was while he was dating Matt, so now Aaron felt like he was basically cheating on his boyfriend for well over a month.
“I need to talk to Pete,” he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.
Robert would be lying if he said he was a bit disappointed that Aaron didn’t want to just go out right away, but then again he did break up with his boyfriend just a few hours ago. “Whatever you need to do Aaron.”
“I’m sorry R… I just… I-”
“Seriously Aaron, it’s more than fine,” Robert said, not wanting the older lad to stress about this. “I’ll do whatever you want, and take as long as you need to figure out what that is.”
Aaron looked up at the curly haired lad and offered him a small smile. “You seriously are the best,” he said, giving the younger lad’s thigh a light squeeze.
Robert grinned back at him before kissing Aaron’s nose and squeezing his side. “I try sometimes,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Aaron rolled his eyes before checking the time on his phone and letting out a quiet breath. “I should probably get goin, it’s pretty late,” he breathed out.
And just as he was about to stand up he felt Robert tug him back down.
“Just stay here tonight,” Robert mumbled as he tucked his head into Aaron’s neck. “And in the morning we can get your stuff from Matt’s and drop it off at Pete’s.”
“You sure?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Really, I can just go to Pete’s.”
“Of course I’m sure, it’s not like it’s an inconvenience for me,” Robert scoffed. “If you’re tired you can take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Robert we’ve slept in the same bed before, it’s not a big deal if we do it again.” Aaron said through a quiet laugh.
“Oh yeah…” Robert said, remembering the time they both took a nap in his bed after a vigorous day of beers, videogames, take out and movies, only for Matt to blow up Aaron’s phone and make him go home.
Aaron hummed to himself as he pat Robert’s thigh and stood up from the couch. “Well I’m beat so I’m gonna head to bed.”
Robert nodded as he got up with Aaron, himself more than exhausted from the day they had. First potentially being signed to a record company and then everything with Matt, Robert was more than ready to just fall into bed.
So once Aaron claimed Robert’s too big sweatshirt for himself and the younger lad stripped down to his boxers the two found themselves in bed, Aaron allowing himself to be wrapped in Robert’s arms and engulfed in his warmth, wondering how he went on so long without it.
*~*
"So are we gonna talk about what's going on or are you just going to stare off into space all night?" Pete asked as he glanced over at his best mate before looking back at their cooking dinner on the stove.
Aaron groaned as he threw himself back into the couch cushions and ran his hands over his face. "Why is everything so complicated?"
"Because you're making it that way," Pete answered easily.
If the younger lad was facing him Aaron would've narrowed his eyes at him, but since he wasn't Aaron grumbled to himself instead. "Just tell me what to do," he whined.
"Mate you already know what to do," Pete said as he strained the pasta.
"It's not that simple."
"Aaron, yes it is," Pete said almost firmly. "You broke up with Matt, you're a free man, do whatever the hell you want."
Aaron bit his lip as he shook his head and looked to his folded hands in his lap. “It’s too soon though, isn’t it? I mean we just broke up like two days ago.”
Pete furrowed his eyebrows as he brought a bowl of pasta over to the older lad and took a seat next to him on the couch. “Do you not want to date Robert or something?”
“Of course I want to date him,” Aaron said without hesitance. “I just…”
“Don’t want to get hurt?” Pete tried to fill in with his mouth full.
Aaron looked down at the food in his hands as he nodded. “I’m scared,” he barely whispered. “But I mean it’s Robert, he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Anyone can hurt you Aaron, even Robert,” Pete said before taking a bite of his food.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over at his best mate and placed his untouched food on the coffee table.
“I’m not trying to make you upset Aaron, I’m just saying,” Pete said with his mouth full. “Just take things slow, ya know? Feel things out before you just jump into it.”
“So should I not ask if he wants to go out this weekend?” Aaron asked quietly.
Pete let out a deep breath as he swallowed his food and glanced over at Aaron. “Do whatever you want Aaron,” he said softly. “Just be careful.”
“Okay,” Aaron breathed out as he nodded to himself. “I’m gonna head over there… He’s been waiting for an answer, and I think it’s time I give him one.”
And before Pete could even stop the older lad to tell him to take his time with Robert Aaron was already out of the flat.
*~*
“C’mon Robert,” Aaron muttered, knocking on the younger lad’s door over and over again.
But thankfully a moment later the door swung open, revealing a frazzled looking Robert. “Aaron, uhm hey. Didn’t know you were coming over.”
“You okay?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Robert ran his hand over his face, clearly not okay but nodded anyway as he moved aside to let Aaron into the flat. And just as Aaron was about to ask if he really was okay, the older lad noticed some random girl sitting on the couch.
“Is this… Is this not a good time?” he asked, feeling his throat tighten as he looked between the girl and Robert.
“No, no it’s fine,” Robert quickly shook his head. “This girl just showed up looking for Adam and she refuses to leave until he gets here, but I wanted to rehearse my songs for the meeting tomorrow and just…” he trailed off annoyed.
“Oh,” Aaron nodded and with one more look to the girl he sent Robert a wink before walking over to her. “Hey, you’re looking for Adam right?”
“Do you know where he is?!” she asked Aaron wide eyed, already pushing herself off the couch.
“Yeah he texted me just a bit ago. He’s at Lexington and 3rd. Might wanna hurry, don’t know how long he’ll be there.”
And the girl didn’t need to be told twice before nearly running out of the flat.
Robert couldn’t help but laugh to himself and shake his head as he looked over to the older lad. “You’re a genius,” he said before snaking his arms around Aaron’s waist.
“Who doesn’t love sending random girls on a goosechase all over London?” Aaron asked through his own chuckle as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck.
Robert smiled down at Aaron before dipping his head and gently connecting their lips. “So not that I’m super happy you’re here, cause I am, but why are you here?”
“Well I wanted to talk to you,” Aaron said as he nervously bit his lip. “I was wondering if uhm… If you wanted to go out tomorrow… With me.”
Robert raised his eyebrows as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his chest. “Aaron Dingle are you asking me out on a date?” he asked teasingly.
“W-well… Yeah,” Aaron said sheepishly, feeling a deep blush rise on his cheeks.
“About goddamn time,” Robert muttered through a soft smile as he leaned his forehead against the blue eyed lad’s.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he felt Robert press his lips to his cheek, slowly making his way down his jaw and to his neck. “Tomorrow night, after your meeting alright?”
Robert hummed and smiled against the older lad as he gently kissed his neck and wrapped his arms tighter around him.
“R…” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “You listening to me?”
“Babe I can only focus-” he said, dropping his head, only to connect their lips softly, “on one thing at a time.”
“Do you even want to go to dinner?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows. “We could just stay here.”
At that Robert stopped kissing the older lad and looked at him with a small smirk. “Is that a realistic option?”
“No,” Aaron said through a chuckle. “After dinner though…” he trailed off, ghosting his hand over the younger lad’s chest and gently playing with the buttons.
Pete may have suggested the whole “taking it slow” thing, but just having Robert’s lips on his neck was making Aaron crave just a tiny bit more.
“Do we really even need to wait til tomorrow?” Robert asked before gently kissing the older lad’s nose. “I mean tonight-”
“Tonight you’re practicing and getting ready for your meeting,” Aaron said seriously. “This is your chance Rob, don’t mess it up.”
Robert let out a deep breath as he looked down at the older lad, but he knew he was right. “Fine,” he grumbled. “At least stay here in case crazy girl comes back.”
Aaron nodded and laughed to himself before pressing his lips to Robert’s one more time and following him towards the couch, knowing tonight would be nothing but singing, guitar playing and kissing in between.
*~*
Robert sprinted down the hallway, his guitar case hitting his leg along the way and his lungs feeling like they were about to combust but time was of the essence. He ran until he got to Aaron’s door and once there didn’t even waste a second to breathe before crashing into the flat and looking around for the blue eyed lad.
“Aaron!!!” he screamed, nearly stomping into the living room in a frenzy to find him.
But thankfully Robert found Aaron and was too happy to care that he was sleeping on top of Pete before shaking the older lad awake.
“Aaron get your arse up!! I got signed!!” Robert said excitedly as he kept shaking him and didn’t even stop when he saw that Aaron was awake.
“You what?!” Aaron yelped as he not so gracefully pushed himself off of Pete’s chest, making the younger lad groan under him. “Robert holy shit!!” he said before lunging at the curly haired lad and nearly making them fall to the ground.
Robert stumbled back a bit and dropped his guitar, but didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Aaron and making sure there was absolutely no room between them.
“I told you could do it, I am so proud of you!” Aaron said through a wide smile before cupping the younger lad’s cheeks and bringing him in for a hard kiss.
Robert grinned against Aaron and didn’t waste a second before kissing him back and pulling him impossibly closer to his chest, nearly picking the blue eyed lad up as he did so.
“Oh, okay, yeah wow, that’s my cue to leave,” Pete muttered as he saw the two basically snogging and got up to go to his room.
Aaron felt his face heat up as he pulled away from Robert, only to feel the younger lad tuck his head into his neck. But before he could even say anything Pete rushed out of the room. So Aaron focused his attention back on Robert, the younger lad clinging to him and refusing to let him go.
“R tell me everything!!” Aaron said excitedly before kissing him one more time.
“We’re going to dinner!” Robert suddenly announced. “I’ll tell you everything then, c’mon, let’s go!” he said, already tugging on Aaron’s hand.
“Robert! Robert wait!!” Aaron said through a Loud laugh, trying to stop the younger lad from running towards the door. “I need to change! I’m only in my joggers and a sweatshirt!”
“Right, sorry, sorry,” Robert said sheepishly. “I’m just so excited! I can’t wait to tell you everything so hurry!”
“And I can’t wait to hear all about it,” Aaron said through a soft smile before standing on his toes and pressing his lips to Robert’s. “Just give me 5 minutes, alright?”
Robert nodded as he grinned back at the older lad and sent him off with one more quick peck to his lips.
Aaron hurried off to his room, and even after only living with Pete for a couple days his room was already messy. But before he moved in with Matt it was the same exact way, so it was like nothing had changed.
So after sifting through his clothes, finding a decent outfit and packed a bag for the night Aaron made his way to Pete’s room next door.
“Mate?” he asked, poking his head into the room. “Robert and I are going out, I’ll text you later.”
“What’s up with the backpack?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows as he turned himself in his desk chair to look at his best mate.
“I think I’m gonna stay at Robert’s tonight,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip.
“You’re kidding…” Pete said not believing it. “Aaron seriously? You guys aren’t even dating and you’re staying over there?” he asked, knowing what was probably going to happen tonight.
“Pete we’re 20, c’mon get off it,” Aaron said, a little annoyed with the younger lad trying to make him slow things down with Robert.
“Okay fine, but you also just broke up with your boyfriend, the same boyfriend you were dating for nearly a year before this guy came along,” Pete pointed out.
“Weren’t you the one to tell me to do whatever I want?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah, not whoever you wanted, geez Aaron,” Pete scoffed as he shook his head.
Aaron was a bit taken back by that as he looked at his best mate with furrowed eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Aaron you jump into things too quickly,” Pete said simply. “You did the same thing with Matt and look how great that turned out, you were miserable everyday.”
“It’s different this time...” Aaron said quietly.
“Yeah, and I’m sure it’ll be different with the guy that comes after Robert,” Pete said as he turned back to his desk. “Don’t say I never warned you. Take it slow.”
Aaron shook his head as he bit his lip, not believing Pete just said that to him. “Fuck you,” he muttered before stomping off down the hall and towards the living room.
“Hey, you look great,” Robert said happily as he saw Aaron come back into the room, but then he noticed how the older lad looked like he was just punched in the gut. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked quietly as he rushed over to Aaron and wrapped his arms around him.
“Nothing, nothing, uhm, let’s go,” Aaron said, shaking his head and getting out of Robert’s grasp.
“It’s not nothing, what happened?” Robert asked softly.
“Pete’s just being a dick, that’s it,” Aaron breathed out as he combed his fingers through the front of his hair. “C’mon, I just want to go.”
Robert looked at Aaron for a moment and he could see Aaron was hurt by whatever it was that Pete said, but it was also clear that the older lad wanted nothing more than to get out of there. So Robert nodded at him and grabbed his hand before kissing it gently and leading them out of the flat.
*~*
“So tell me everything from start to finish,” Aaron said through a small smile as he tangled his feet with Robert’s under the table.
Robert bit his lip, trying to hold back his grin as he thought back to today. “So this secretary leads me to a room and I swear I was about to pass out from how nervous I was,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But she opens this door and there’s this amazing recording studio, I’ve never seen anything like it Aaron…” Robert shook his head, still in awe. “And not only that but you’ll never guess who was in the room.”
“Who?” Aaron asked, his smile widening as he saw how happy Robert was.
“Ed fuckin Sheeran!!” Robert nearly yelled, making a couple heads in the restaurant turn their way. “He was just sittin right there, like all happy to see me, like we had been mates for years!!”
“What?!” Aaron whisper yelled, not believing it.
“Yeah!!” Robert said, nodding quickly. “He’s signed with them and he’s like their biggest client and our music style is similar so they had him listen to me and stuff!”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. Ed Sheeran was one of the biggest artists in England, in the world, and he had made time just to listen to Robert. “What’d he say? Did he like it?”
“You’re not gonna believe it babe… Seriously I’m gonna tell you something and you’re going to think I’m lying,” Robert said through a wide smile as he shook his head and picked up his water, needing to calm down.
“Well I already know they signed you so what else could you possibly tell me that would top that?”
Robert raised his eyebrows at the older lad, unable to wipe the grin off his face. “You, Aaron Dingle, are looking at Ed Sheeran’s newest opening act.”
Aaron sat there, just looking at Robert, unable to move, but then all of a sudden it hit him. “What?!” he yelled, now making the entire restaurant look towards them.
Robert nodded quickly, his own excitement exploding out of him. “His tour is ending in England and he’s bringing me along! Aaron he liked me so much!! He said that if they didn’t sign me he was gonna start his own record label so he could!!”
“Shit Robert,” Aaron breathed out as he ran a hand over his face, trying to grasp everything that was happening.
“And ya know with going on tour with him my name will get out there,” Robert said happily. “So after the tour they have plans for me to do a bunch of promo while I start recording my first ever album!”
“Robert I… I don’t even know what to say.” Aaron said through a soft smile as he shook his head and placed his hand over the younger lad’s that was on the table. “I’m just… I’m so proud of you… Everything you wanted is happening.”
“Just about everything… I’m still missing what I want most,” Robert said quietly through a small smile as he rubbed his thumb over Aaron’s skin.
Aaron ducked his head as he felt a deep blush rise on his cheeks and Robert’s eyes on him.
“What’re we doing Aaron? What’s our plan?” Robert asked softly.
“Well right now we’re on a date,” Aaron said through a small smile as he looked around the quaint little Italian restaurant. “But as for a plan for us… I don’t have one,” he said as he laughed to himself and shook his head. “All I know is that I wanna keep going on dates with you.”
Robert couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face as he stood up slightly from his chair, only to lean over the table and kiss the older lad softly. “I told them about you you know?” he asked once he sat back down.
“Told who what?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I told the record label about you… Well about us,” Robert said quietly. “I wasn’t going to sign with them unless they were okay with it.”
“Really?” Aaron asked so quietly it barely came out as a whisper.
“Really,” Robert nodded without even thinking about it. “Aaron I want you. Completely, 100% want you, and I don’t want anything or anyone to get in our way.”
And Aaron swears if they weren’t at a restaurant, and in the middle of a date he would’ve jumped Robert right there. He’s been terrified for well over a month. Terrified of getting hurt and left behind, but Robert couldn’t have made it any clearer that he was never going to do that to him. That he was willing to drop everything, forget his career for him and there was nothing else that could convince Aaron that the green eyed lad wanted this as badly as he did. But Aaron had to wait until after dinner to show the younger lad just how much he wanted to be with him though.
It was easier than Aaron initially thought.
All dinner their feet tangled under the table, feeding each other their food and giggling into their hands considering they already had someone tell them to quiet down.
Robert told him about the rest of his meeting. Told him about how all of the songs he played were the same ones he wrote for Aaron and those were the first to be recorded to go on his album. And as the younger lad was telling him this Aaron didn’t believe it. He couldn’t wrap his head around that the boy in front of him was on his way to stardom, that in a few months his life was going to change dramatically, and Aaron was lucky enough to be there along the way.
“Ready to go babe?” Robert asked once their desserts were gone and he stole the check before Aaron even saw it was on the table.
Aaron hummed as he wiped his mouth, making sure he was clean of the chocolate cake Robert was feeding him earlier. He took the younger lad’s offered hand and laced their fingers together before they made their way outside.
“Tonight was really nice,” Robert said through a soft smile as he looked down at the older lad.
“Yeah, it was,” Aaron said quietly through his own grin, looking down at his feet as they walked down the pavement and felt Robert give his hand a light squeeze.
“So…” Robert drawled out, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I would ask if you wanted to come back to mine, but I see you already have a bag packed,” he said with raised eyebrows.
Aaron felt his cheeks heat up as he shifted his backpack on his shoulder. He was grateful all night Robert hadn’t brought it up, but there wasn’t anything he could say or an excuse he could make up. “Yeah, well… I uh, I just thought, you know we uhm, we-”
“Please love, you don’t have to make an excuse,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he shook his head. “You’re an awful liar anyway.”
Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing that yes, he was exceptionally terrible at lying. “Whatever,” he mutter as he gently jabbed the younger lad in the side. “But uhm… I’m sorry if me bringing a bag is kind of, I dunno, forward,” Aaron said quietly.
“Of course not babe, I was gonna ask if you wanted to stay over anyway,” Robert said as he smiled to himself and leaned over to pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple. “Makes it a bit easier that you have a bag. Don’t have to wear my clothes or anything like that.”
“Yeah but I like your clothes,” Aaron mumbled as he kicked a rock in front of him on the pavement. “They’re all big and loose on me.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he released Aaron’s hand, instead wrapping his arm around the older lad’s waist and pulling him into his side. “You’re adorable,” he said through a quiet laugh before kissing the blue eyed lad’s hair. “When we get to the flat I’ll give up my biggest and comfiest clothes, sound good?”
Aaron hummed happily at the thought as he cuddled himself into Robert’s side, trying to escape the November chill.
The two made their way to Robert’s flat as quickly as possible, wanting to get out of the cold and inside to just relax.
“Where’s Adam tonight?” Aaron asked once they were in the flat and he made his way to the couch.
“He’s with crazy girl from yesterday,” Robert said as he laughed to himself and walked into the kitchen. “Or maybe this is a new crazy girl, I dunno. All I know is that he’s not gonna be back until tomorrow,” he said, bringing a bottle of wine and two glasses over to the older lad.
“Good,” Aaron muttered through a small smile, making Robert raise his eyebrows and smirk at him as he took a seat on the couch and poured them drinks.
“Here you are love,” Robert said as he passed the older lad a glass of wine and wrapped his arm around him.
Aaron bit back his grin as he took the glass from Robert, still getting used to the pet names the younger lad calls him now. Hell, he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he just had a date with Robert, the same Robert he’s been pining over for well over a month now.
“Oh my God, I just realized I never asked about your day,” Robert said wide eyed as if he had committed a national crime. “I was so excited about mine, I never asked you about yours, tell me about it,” he said quickly, turning himself so he was facing the older lad.
“Uhm alright,” Aaron said through a chuckle before taking a sip of his wine. “My day wasn’t all that exciting. Just hung out with Pete. We watched a couple movies, passed out on the couch and then you came over, that’s it,” he shrugged.
Robert hummed as he took a sip of his own wine. “You two always like that?” he asked quietly.
“Like what?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I dunno,” Robert shrugged. “All cuddly I guess… I walked in and you were just laying on him, it surprised me a bit.”
“We’ve been mates forever,” Aaron said simply. “We don’t really have any boundaries and we’re both pretty big cuddlers,” he said through a quiet laugh. “That’s pretty normal for us. I mean in high school we were the same way and people thought we were dating and all this crazy stuff, and he’s not even gay, just handsy.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded to himself, not all that fond of the idea of Aaron and Pete being that close. He thought maybe that’s why Matt hated Pete so much, because it was clear just how close he and Aaron are. But Robert didn’t want to be like Matt. He didn’t want to tell Aaron to not do those kinds of things with Pete, even if he was straight, to Robert it didn’t make a difference. So instead of saying anything he just hummed and took another sip of his wine.
“But yeah, your day was much more eventful than mine,” Aaron said as he swallowed his drink. “I mean you got signed to a record company for God’s sake.”
Robert couldn’t fight the grin that made it’s way to his face, still unable to grasp that he was a signed musician, that his dreams were coming true. “And I owe it all to you,” he said softly before kissing the older lad’s temple and pulling him impossibly closer to his side.
“I didn’t do anything but make a few calls, you really did all the work,” Aaron shook his head.
“C’mon Aaron, stop that,” Robert said as he put his empty glass on the coffee table. “If you didn’t make those calls, if you didn’t bother Michael and tell him over and over again to see me he wouldn’t have,” he said, wanting to get this through Aaron’s head. “I owe all of this to you,” Robert said softly.
“Really Rob I didn’t do-” Aaron was cut off by a pair of lips on his, making him go quiet as he melted into the kiss.
“Just shut up yeah?” Robert asked through a small laugh as he pulled just mere centimeters away from the older lad.
And Aaron didn’t need to be told twice before nodding quickly, placing his wine glass down and wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck to connect their lips again.
Robert smiled against Aaron as he felt how eager he was and couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his chest. He could feel the older lad’s hand come up his neck and bury itself in the back of his curls, tugging gently at the short hair. So Robert took that as a silent message and began to gently push Aaron, making him lay down down the couch and crowding into his space.
He let out a deep breath through his nose as he kissed the older lad, trying to calm down as Aaron’s hands were all over him. Up and down his back, gripping at his sides and his fingernails digging into the thin material of his shirt. Robert may have seemed controlled on the outside but on the inside he couldn’t keep himself together, his thoughts going a mile a minute.
He couldn’t focus on anything, just the way Aaron’s lips felt on his, how hungrily the older lad was kissing him. Robert settled Aaron between his thighs, just hovering over him as he laid on the couch, but when he felt the blue eyed lad’s hand press firmly into his lower back he didn’t waste a second before easing himself down on the older lad.
Robert felt Aaron gasp against him as their hips met and that’s when he took his chance, tasting into the older lad’s mouth. He was completely pressed up against Aaron. His crotch, his chest, Aaron’s arms a tangled mess around him as they explored each other’s mouths. His hands all over Robert, just wanting to feel every inch of the younger lad before he slipped his hands under Robert’s shirt. His warm and smooth skin against his hands, gripping at his sides and running fingers through his curls, making it a tousled mess.
But then Robert was moving his hips, slowly circling them on top of the older lad, making Aaron let out a low moan in the back of his throat.
“R…” Aaron breathed out, taking his lips off of Robert’s as he squeezed his eyes shut, only to feel the younger lad moving down his jaw, his teeth grazing at his sensitive skin and planting hot kisses along his neck.
Robert hummed against Aaron, his lips never stopping as he sucked, nipped and kissed his heated skin. His hips still rolling on top of the older lad’s, making Aaron throw his head back into the couch cushions, his mouth open and silent pleas escaping him.
“O-off, off,” Aaron barely managed to breathe out, making Robert still on top of him for a moment. “Shirt off, get it off,” he said tugging at the hem of the younger lad’s shirt.
Robert quickly nodded, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor without a second thought before connecting his lips back onto Aaron’s, making the older lad shudder between his legs.
He tightened his grip around Aaron’s waist with his knees, making their clothed cocks become pressed together. And then Robert was pulling at the older lad’s shirt as his head was thrown back into the cushions, yanking it up his torso and throwing it to the ground like he had with his own.
But Robert had to stop himself, let out a few deep breaths and slow down as he looked at the man below him. “So fucking gorgeous Aaron…” he muttered, ghosting his fingers over the older lad’s chest, tracing invisible lines over his pecs and down to his stomach, stopping at the button of his jeans.
Aaron bit his lip as a small whine escaped him, thrusting his hips up, wanting to feel something, anything against his growing hard.
“Easy love,” Robert said softly, bringing up his hand to cup the older lad’s cheek, gently running his hand over his stubbled skin before slowly leaning down and connecting their lips.
But Aaron didn’t want to wait, he didn’t want to take it easy or slow. He’s been waiting long enough for Robert, been torturing himself and the younger lad for too long.
So as Robert kissed him gently, one hand cupping his cheek while the other was resting by his head, holding him up, Aaron trailed his hands down the younger lad’s sides, carefully moving them to the button of his jeans.
Robert breathed heavily against Aaron, feeling the older lad’s hands tug at his jeans and try to pop the button of them. And when he did, Aaron didn’t even waste a second before pushing his pants to his thighs and reaching into the younger lad’s briefs, taking his length into his hand and stroking it gently.
It was within a second Robert broke the kiss, letting out a Loud groan as his elbow gave out from under him, making him fall onto Aaron’s chest and breathe hotly into the older lad’s neck. “F-fuck Aaron,” he stuttered out, unable to pick himself back up.
“Jesus, so fucking big R,” Aaron breathed out, not even needing to see, just feel the size of the younger lad’s cock and knowing how stretched out he would get from it.
Robert couldn’t say or do anything besides melt under Aaron’s touch, with every pump letting out a small whine, muffling it into the older lad’s neck. “A-Aaron, love please… C-can’t come like this,” he said, biting his lip to keep himself quiet. But even as he was saying it his hips slowly moved with Aaron, gently thrusting into his hand.
Aaron swallowed thickly, his breathing caught in his throat as he realized what he was going to say. “Bedroom, please, now.”
Robert couldn’t nod fast enough as Aaron pulled his hand out of his briefs, only to stand up a second later and pull the older lad to his feet with him. He wrapped his arms around Aaron, the older lad’s eyes locked on him, scanning over his chest, just taking him in before lunging at Robert, wrapping his legs around his waist and kissing him so hungrily the younger lad stumbled backwards, nearly tripping as his pants fell around his ankles.
Robert steadied himself, gripping Aaron’s arse and squeezing at it, making the older lad wrap his legs impossibly tighter around him and Robert’s mouth fall open in a low moan. Aaron took that to his advantage, swiping into the younger lad’s mouth and rutting his hips against Robert’s as his grip tightened on his bum.
“R… Bedroom,” Aaron reminded him before connecting their lips again.
Robert nodded against the older lad, firming his grasp on his arse before stumbling forward, trying to ignore his shaking thighs as Aaron rutted his clothed hard cock against his own. He was blindly walking, eyes sealed shut as he kissed the blue eyed lad messily, feeling him taking over his senses completely. Robert could barely feel his feet moving, didn’t know where they were taking him, only hoping it was in the direction of his bedroom. But with his pants around his ankles, no sight, Aaron crowding into his space and rolling his hips against his own Robert was more than shocked that he had actually found his door, pushing the older lad up against it, making their clothed lengths meet harshly and both men hiss at the touch.
He felt Aaron move his lips, his teeth gently nipping at his jaw before moving to his neck, biting his heated skin and making Robert frantically reach for the door handle. He managed to get it open a crack, only to barge through it a second later as the older lad sucked bruises into his neck.
Robert walked through his pitch black room, trying to step over his clothes littering the floor and find his bed and just as he was about to toss Aaron onto the mattress his footing got caught in his pants around his ankles, making him and the blue eyed lad tumble forward, managing to land halfway on the bed.
“You fucking klutz,” Aaron laughed into the younger lad’s mouth as he pulled him onto the bed, making sure to kick Robert’s pants off as he did so.
“Sorry,” Robert mumbled against Aaron through a sheepish smile as he followed the older lad up the bed, never disconnecting their lips as they went along.
He hovered over Aaron, retaking the position they had on the couch, the older lad’s hands running up and down his bare back as his other was lost in his curls. “You okay? This alright?” Robert asked in between kisses before leaning back into Aaron, sealing their lips together.
“Y-yeah shit-” Aaron groaned, feeling the younger lad’s hips circle on top of his. “Take these o-off,” he said, already reaching for his jeans button, needing to release his hard cock from the restricting material.
Robert nodded, getting Aaron’s hands out of the way and using his own shaking hands to undo the button as the older lad leaned up on his elbows, attaching his lips to Robert’s neck and sucking gently before moving up him, nipping at his ear and circling his hips under the younger lad, trying to meet him in the middle.
Robert breathed out shakily, trying to control himself as he managed to pop the button on Aaron’s jeans and push them down the older lad’s legs, finally getting them off him. And once they were off it was almost immediate Robert felt Aaron tugging him down, their lips meeting in a hard and messy kiss.
Aaron’s hips jerking up, aching for something, just anything to relieve some pressure off of his painful hard, and the two kept it like that for a little bit. Robert’s hips rocking on top of Aaron, whining and moaning into each other mouths until the older lad couldn’t take it anymore.
“R-Robert please,” Aaron nearly begged. “I want you...”
Robert just barely pulled away from the older lad, looking at him for a moment, making sure he really wanted that. “You sure?” he asked quietly.
Aaron didn’t even need to think about it as he nodded and tugged at the band of Robert’s briefs. “Love if I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have forced you to come in the bedroom, now would I?” he asked with a teasing smirk.
Robert ducked his head as he smiled to himself, that being the first time Aaron has called him love, and the younger lad would be lying if he said it didn’t make his stomach twist into knots.
He kissed the older lad’s nose, only to reach for his bedside table drawer a second later, pulling out what he needed. “Tell me to stop whenever,” Robert said softly. “Or to slow down or anything.”
Aaron swallowed thickly as he looked up at Robert, his green eyes shining bright in the moonlit room. But he didn’t even nod, just reached behind the younger lad and pulled him down for a soft kiss, pulling away slowly only to peck his lips one more time before letting his hand slide down Robert’s bare back.
The two worked their briefs off, leaving them completely bare as Robert reached for the lube bottle next to him, squeezing a fair amount of his fingers before leaning down, connecting his lips to Aaron’s gently as his finger circled his hole.
He pushed in carefully, feeling Aaron moan into his mouth, his breaths already becoming short. “You okay love?”
Aaron nodded, his head thrown into the pillows and mouth open, shallow gasps escaping him. “Keep going.”
Robert nodded, pressing his finger in and dragging it out of the older lad as he kissed Aaron on his nose, cheek, forehead, trying to calm him down.
“F-fuck R,” Aaron moaned as he squeezed his eyes shut, toes curling at the end of the bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, more, m-more,” he rushed out, his back arching off the bed and an unruly heat rise in him,
So Robert added more, stretching the older lad and making him a whining and breathless mess under him. He kissed his neck, ran his hand up Aaron’s side and rutted his own aching hard against the older lad’s thigh, trying to get some type of release.
“R-Robert please, I-I’m ready, please,” Aaron nearly begged, digging his fingernails into the younger lad’s back and scratching slightly at his skin.
Robert nodded, trying to get his breathing under control as he pulled his fingers out of Aaron, making him whine at the loss. But before he could even reach for the condom Aaron already had torn the package open, reaching between them and slicking it up the younger lad’s painfully hard cock. Robert moaned at the feeling of Aaron’s fingers around him, not even able to imagine what it will feel like to be inside him.
“Y-you sure you’re ready?” Robert asked breathlessly as he aligned himself with the older lad.
Aaron nodded, gripping at Robert’s hip and steadying him. And just as Robert began to push in he leaned down, connecting their lips softly, allowing Aaron to hiss into his mouth as he adjusted to him.
“You okay?” Robert asked carefully once he was fully in, running his fingers through the older lad’s sweaty fringe.
“Yeah, y-yeah,” Aaron said, releasing a few deep breaths, trying to adjust to Robert.
Robert dipped his head and kissed him, seeing how worked up Aaron was getting and wanting to calm him down. And almost immediately Aaron melted into it. The older lad’s lips gentle against his own, his fingers massaging his scalp while the other hand ran up and down his side. And Aaron couldn’t help but cup Robert’s cheeks between his hands and move his lips with the older lad’s.
It was a second later Aaron felt Robert move though. His length dragging inside him as he slowly pulled out, only to softly push back in, earning a gasp out of Aaron.
Robert had both hands firmly placed by Aaron’s head, keeping himself in place before pulling out again, the older lad already arching his back, wanting Robert to hit him just right. And a second later the younger lad snapped his hips forward quickly, making Aaron bite his lip to keep in a moan.
Above him Robert let out a long deep breath, his arms shaking as the older lad dug his heels into his legs, his fingers gripping his hip so hard it would leave bruises while the other hand scratched down his back. So again he pulled away, only to grip at the mattress under his palms, trying to steady himself before he thrusted back in.
“F-fuck R,” Aaron groaned, digging his nails into Robert’s back.
Robert let out a few deep breaths before dipping his head and pressing his lips to Aaron’s own panting mouth, and ground into him slow and deep at first. With each thrust the older lad whimpering against him, their kiss becoming sloppy as Robert moved on top of him.
Robert couldn’t help the high pitched sound escaping him as he began to grind faster into the older lad, snapping back only to push right back in with force. His hair falling into his eyes, brushing against Aaron’s forehead while the older lad’s trembling lips kissed him.
With each thrust Aaron felt like Robert’s cock was going deeper and deeper, the younger lad shaking above him, sweat dripping from his forehead to his chin.
“B-been wanting this for so long Aaron,” Robert breathed against him, breaking the kiss but still pounding into him as he leaned his forehead against the older lad’s temple.
“Tell me,” Aaron said, his voice tight in his throat. “How long?” he asked, squeezing his eyes shut, Robert sucking a wet kiss into his neck.
“Since I saw you in that lecture room,” Robert whispered, gently nipping at Aaron’s ear, making him jerk under him. “You and you’re stupidly cute fucking pens, w-wanted all of you right there.”
“F-fuck R,” Aaron stuttered out, Robert’s thrusts getting faster, him panting into his neck. “W-wanted you too,” he confessed. “But I-I couldn’t… I wanted to s-so badly but I-I couldn’t a-and-”
“I know love, it’s okay, I-I know,” Robert said, his thrusts getting sloppier, his heart pounding out of his chest as he gripped at the older lad’s biceps, trying to steady himself.
Aaron clenched his eyes shut, Robert sucking at his sweaty skin below his jaw, the younger lad groaning into his neck while Aaron let out a whimper with every thrust.
“God,” Aaron gasped, his nails digging into Robert’s back. “I-I’m gonna come.”
“Go ahead love,” Robert whispered, his hand snaking between them and wrapping his fingers around Aaron’s cock, making the older lad shudder under him.
Aaron bit back a whine, his back arching against the mattress and head thrown back against his pillow. “Robert, R-R,” he stuttered out, the younger lad running his thumb of the tip of his length. “I-I… Fuck, Rob,” Aaron gasped, gripping wherever he could on the younger lad, leaving bruises on his hips, arse, thighs, and scratches just from the older lad’s fingers and hands kneading into him.
Robert’s breathing started coming out in heaves against Aaron’s sweaty skin, the air sticky and wet around them. He closed his eyes shut only to feel the room spinning with every grind into the older lad.
“A-Aaron please,” he panted. “P-please come… F-fuck, for me, please,” Robert begged, his pace quickening, his hand jerking Aaron’s cock before he messily pressed their lips together.
Aaron was falling apart under the younger lad, sweat dripping from his forehead as he kissed Robert back, accepting his tongue into his mouth even while he was trembling under him. He felt Robert cradle his cheek, still pressing into him and pumping his length sloppily, but it only took two more pumps before he was coming fast and hard into Robert’s hand.
His lips shaking against Robert’s while the younger lad’s hips started to slow, only for him to shoot into the condom a second later with a high pitched whine coming from the back of his throat.
Aaron kissed him through it, ran his fingers through the back of his sweaty curls gently and ran his hand up and down his side until the younger lad relaxed against him. And when Robert released the older lad’s lips lingered on his own before he kissed his nose and began panting against his sticky and slick chest.
Robert breathed into Aaron’s neck, barely able to pull himself out of the older lad and throw the condom away before laying lifeless next to him. His chest rising and falling in heavy heaves as he looked over to Aaron, only to feel a slow smile spread across his face.
“Aaron…” Robert said quietly, turning over to rest against the older lad’s chest.
“Yeah?” Aaron asked breathlessly as he felt Robert brush his fingers through his sweaty hair, gently massaging his scalp.
“I just wanted to say,” he began softly, kissing Aaron’s nose before moving down to his neck. “I’m really happy you dropped all your pens,” Robert laughed against his skin as he kissed over all the marks he left on the older lad.
“You’re an idiot,” Aaron said through an airy laugh as he shook his head and looked down at the younger lad with a soft smile.
Robert shrugged as he picked himself up, only to move up Aaron and dip his head to connect their lips sweetly. “But I’m your idiot,” he grinned against the older lad, pressing his lips to Aaron’s again.
Aaron nodded as Robert kissed him, his own smile refusing to leave. “You’re my idiot,” he agreed, laughing in the younger lad’s mouth. And Aaron didn’t think he’d mind if Robert stayed his idiot, if he stayed like this forever.
*~*
1 Month Later
“R… Love,” Aaron said softly, resting his hand on the younger lad’s thigh. “If you keep bouncing your knee like that the whole car is gonna start shaking,” he teased.
Robert let out a deep breath as he nodded and ran a hand through the top of his curls. “Sorry,” he muttered. “M’just nervous, I’ve never done this kinda stuff before.”
“You’ve never what? Had a soundcheck?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows as he laughed to himself. “That’s all it is love, relax.”
“Yeah but this…” Robert trailed off, “this isn’t just a soundcheck. It’s a soundcheck with Ed Sheeran, in a fucking stadium, not some worn down bar.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he nodded and rubbed the younger lad’s back gently. It was obvious how nervous Robert was for tomorrow night, his first big real show.
All of this felt like it wasn’t happening. The past month it’s been nothing but Robert in meetings, talking to his record label and Ed, planning out shows and coming up with a set list. He was given money to buy two more guitars and Aaron swears he’s never heard anyone squeal like Robert had when he was told that. So the pair spent an entire day looking for guitars and by the end of the day Aaron was exhausted and wouldn’t mind not listening to another guitar for the next year, but the look on the younger lad’s face when he purchased his two new toys was priceless.
In between all of that there was promotional stuff Robert had to do. His record company trying to get his name out there, and get the public to recognize him so he had days out with Ed, the two of them being papped together. Those were the days Robert loved the most because he got to spend time with his idol and fast growing mate.
And Aaron stood by him the entire time. Waiting late nights just to talk to him over the phone or bringing him lunch when he had a day full of meetings. Aaron knew it was going to get harder, but they made it work. When Robert was with him the younger lad refused to do anything business related, it was just time for them. Even if Aaron was slammed with homework and didn’t even have time to pick his head from his work Robert was there, offering to do anything, or get anything the older lad might be, and Aaron had to say that he loved those nights.
Robert finished his own semester at school and that was it for him. He had a year and a half of uni complete, but with him getting signed he didn’t see the reason to go back.
“Ready Mr.Sugden?”
Robert looked up and realized they were at the stadium, his driver looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, thank you,” he breathed out, stepping out of the car and immediately reaching for Aaron’s hand.
“It’s okay love, relax,” Aaron said softly as he brought up their intertwined hands and gently kissed the younger lad’s. “It’s just a soundcheck, making sure everything is alright, there aren’t even any fans or people in there,” he said through a quiet laugh.
“And that’s terrifying in itself!!” Robert groaned Aarondly. “If I’m this nervous now how will it be when this place is packed?!”
Aaron let out a deep breath, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to calm Robert down as they made their way backstage. The only thing that would somewhat make the younger lad relax would be to just give him his guitar and tell him to do what he does best.
“Robert, mate!”
Robert looked up from his shoes and couldn’t help the wide smile that came across his face as he saw the ginger lad. “Ed, hey,” he said happily, letting go of Aaron’s hand only to shake Ed’s.
“Wait don’t even tell me!” Ed said suddenly, dropping their hands and looking over to Aaron before wrapping an arm around the blue eyed lad’s shoulders. “This is him? The boyfriend? The muse?” he teased slightly.
Robert rolled his eyes but nodded anyway as he looked over to Aaron and saw his cheeks bright pink. “Yeah, this is my boyfriend Aaron,” he said through a soft smile.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold off his own grin as he looked back at Robert. He still wasn’t used to it, “boyfriend”.
Aaron remembers the night Robert asked him to be his boyfriend nearly two weeks ago. After several dates and long nights Aaron spent in Robert’s bed the younger lad had asked him. And it wasn’t how Aaron thought he would ask him at all, but if anything it was so Robert.
Aaron’s head buried in his textbook, the crackling fire filling the otherwise silent room, but then all of a sudden he heard Robert’s guitar, the younger lad strumming on the instrument so Aarondly it made Aaron jump in his seat.
And that’s when the obnoxious and very Loud song of “Aaron be my boyfriend” started. There weren’t any lyrics or a chord progression, just Robert strumming and basically chasing the older lad around the living room in a laughing fit and asking him over and over again to be his boyfriend. And Aaron couldn’t help but roll his eyes and try to walk away from him, but Robert followed right after him, continuing with his “song” and asking over and over again.
Aaron swears, just to shut him up he said okay and he couldn’t even say it completely before the younger lad’s lips were on his, crowding into his space.
“Hey mate, it’s awesome to finally meet you,” Ed said happily, wrapping his arm around Aaron’s shoulders just a bit tighter. “Robert never shuts up about you when we got out, feel like I already know you.”
“It’s uh- I-it’s nice to meet you too,” Aaron stuttered out, not even sure how he got that out, now realizing this was Ed Sheeran. It was Ed Sheeran in the same room as him, Ed Sheeran with his arm around him and talking to him as if they were actual mates.
“Quite the charmer you got here Robert,” Ed said through a chuckle as he pat Aaron’s back and winked at him.
“Whoa, hey now, none of that,” Robert said as he shook his head at the ginger lad and pulled Aaron into his side.
“It’s fine, really,” Aaron said through a deep blush.
“Aaron,” Robert said, looking down at the older lad. “What the hell?”
“Babe it’s Ed Sheeran,” Aaron said, that being the only excuse he needed.
Robert rolled his eyes, not caring who it was, nobody was going to wink or do anything like that to Aaron. “Whatever,” he muttered. “You do your soundcheck yet, or are you after mine?” Robert asked, trying to get back to the reason they were here.
“I'm all set,” Ed said through a small smile. “I just wanted to be here for you in case you needed anything, plus I had to meet this guy,” he said, gently nudging Aaron with his arm and making him blush even more.
Robert looked down at Aaron and pulled him even closer to his side, wanting him to remember that he was right next to him. “Well show me the way mate, let’s do this.”
Ed nodded and clapped Robert on the back before leading them backstage, walking past crew members and people still setting up.
Robert still was in shock at where he was. Tomorrow night he would be playing in front of thousands of people, opening for Ed Sheeran of all people and none of it felt real.
That was until he was handed one of his guitars and he got to center stage. And even if the seats were empty Robert could still feel his heart pounding, his hands shaking and sweating as he placed them on his guitar.
But somehow he managed to play a few songs, checking that everything sounded good and his earpieces were working just fine. And when the sound guys said he was all set Robert didn’t want to leave the stage. The more he played the more he loved it up there, and he couldn’t even imagine what it would look like with the lights dimmed, seats full and all eyes on him.
“You sound awesome mate,” Ed said happily as he came onto stage with his own guitar. “We’ve never played together, but let’s give it a go, have some fun with it.”
Robert couldn’t help but grin to himself as he looked over Aaron on the side of the stage, his boyfriend sending him wide smile and thumbs up as he nodded at him. But then he realized he was about to play with the one and only Ed Sheeran, guitar God and his nerves picked back up.
“Relax R, you do this everyday, come on,” Ed said through a quiet laugh. “You start, just do anything I’ll follow.”
Robert let out a deep breath and nodded, looking down at his guitar before picking the strings. And something as simple as that turned into something incredible. Ed built off it, further and further they got it became more complex, the two feeding off each other and Robert doesn’t know how long they played, but after what felt like forever Robert glanced up to see if Aaron was watching, only to see the older lad looking at him with a slacked jaw. And Robert thought maybe the concert wouldn’t be that bad, maybe he could get through it without having a major freak out.
*~*
“Hey, have you seen R?” Aaron asked Adam with furrowed eyebrows.
“Yeah, he’s in his dressing room talking on the phone,” Adam mumbled with his mouth full. “Have you seen the stuff they put out here? This is amazing,” he said, reaching for more food on the table.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he pat the the Irish lad on the back and made his way towards the dressing rooms. He checked there not even 20 minutes ago and Robert wasn’t there and figuring the younger lad was nervously pacing backstage Aaron went to look for him.
He walked past the stage crew, all of them in a frenzy to get everything ready for the show and to Aaron it was all crazy. The backstage pass that was dangling around his neck, everyone somehow magically knowing his name and that he was with Robert, and the fact that it was Robert who was going to up on stage in less than an hour.
When Aaron got to the dressing room he pushed the door open, only to find the curly haired lad indeed on his phone and smiling widely to himself.
He quietly walked into the room, the phone on speaker and not wanting to disturb Robert and whoever he was talking to. But as Aaron listened it was clearly an older woman, he didn’t think much of it.
He walked up behind the younger lad’s chair, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck, making him jump in his seat as Aaron started kissing just under his ear, nibbling at it gently.
“Aaron…” Robert said through a chuckle as he tipped his head up to look at his boyfriend.
Aaron hummed, only to lean down and press his lips to Robert’s sweetly.
“This is my mum,” Robert said as he laughed to himself, pointing to the phone and the person on facetime.
“Oh, hello! You must be Aaron!”
Aaron felt himself freeze as he realized this wasn’t a call, but a video chat with Robert’s mum, a very important woman he’s never met. “U-uhm hello,” he said, feeling his face heat up. “It’s uh, it’s so nice to finally meet you Mrs. Sugden.”
“And you dear! Robert has told me nothing but wonderful things!! And please, call me Diane,” she said happily.
Robert looked between his boyfriend and mum, the look of sheer embarrassment written all over Aaron’s face. “Mum I’m sure Aaron would love nothing more than to talk to you some more, and I know I do, but I need to go, it’s almost showtime.”
“Alright love, good luck, I know you’ll be amazing,” Diane said through a soft smile.
“Thanks mum,” Robert said as he bit his lip, trying to keep his own grin from widening.
Aaron smiled at the camera and waved as the two said their final goodbyes, secretly grateful Robert said he had to go. “Why didn’t you tell me you were on video chat?!” he whispered yelled once Robert was off the phone. “If I had known I wouldn’t have-”
“Aaron she doesn’t care,” Robert waved off absentmindedly.
Diane might not have cared but Aaron sure as hell did, and he made a point of telling Robert, even after they were called to backstage, needing to go out in a few minutes. But Aaron did stop his rambling as he saw his boyfriend growing more and more nervous.
He had his earpieces ready and one of his guitars slung over his shoulder, ready to go on when they told him to.
Robert had gotten a glance at the audience, the place packed and people everywhere talking excitedly, and he was sure he was a second away from passing out. “Holy shit I’m done, I can’t do it,” he said, pacing back and forth as he ran his hands over his face.
“Rob c’mon you-”
Aaron slapped a hand over Adam’s mouth, knowing the younger lad wasn’t going to say anything to help Robert, “C’mere love, look at me,” he said softly, pulling Robert towards him by his belt loops. “Remember how much fun you were having yesterday on stage? It’s the same thing, the same exact thing.”
“Aaron there are so many people and-”
“And this is what you do best,” Aaron said almost firmly. “Look around you R, look at where you are,” he said quietly. “You made it… You got what you’ve always wanted, so take it and run.”
Robert ducked his head as he smiled and nodded to himself, letting out a deep breath and trying to calm his pounding heart. “You’re gonna stand where I can see you?” he asked just Loud enough for the older lad to hear him.
“Of course, all night,” Aaron said through his own soft grin. “You look at the side of the stage and I’m gonna be there.”
“...Okay,” Robert breathed out as he leaned his forehead against the older lad’s. “If you’re there I’m okay,” he said, talking to himself.
Aaron smiled to himself as he buried his hand in the back of Robert’s curls, stood on his toes and gently pressed his lips to the younger lad’s.
“Hey Robert, you ready?” Ed asked as he walked up to the two.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Robert breathed out as he combed his fingers through his curls. “Can I uhm, can I ask you something?”
“Course mate,” Ed shrugged.
“How do you like… How do you know if they like it? What you’re playing I mean,” he said nervously, biting his lip.
Ed thought about it for a second before smiling to himself and shrugging again. “Depends on the song,” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. “If it’s upbeat like you want them up and kinda jamming along, but if it’s slow… The best thing you can ever hear from a crowd is nothing… You want them to be stuck, ya know? Kinda lost in it like you get when you play.”
Robert looked at the ginger lad for a second before nodding, hoping and praying he got that, that he got the responses he was looking for.
And before he could take another moment to gather himself, to relax, he heard his name get called, them wanting him out on stage. So with one more kiss from Aaron, and quick hug from Adam Robert released the deepest breath of the night before getting into his stage mood and making his way out.
*~*
Robert could feel his blood pumping and his heart pounding in the best way possible as he looked out to the crowd. Through every song they’ve been responding to him, if he’s on his guitar or playing the piano they were on their feet jumping or awed in silence, and Robert hasn’t felt this good on stage ever in his life.
Even with lights blinding him, flashes going off from all corners of the stadium and people seemingly screaming over him there was absolutely nothing Robert would change.
All night he’s been putting out energy, being that stage presence he’s always dreamed of being. Robert was hopping on top of amps, clapping his hands and getting the people into what he was playing, even though they’ve most likely never heard his stuff before. And he felt like he had done more than a great job of warming them up for Ed. But when it was time for his final song, he took it down a little bit, became a bit more serious as he glanced over at the side of the stage, and of course catching Aaron’s eye right away like he has all night.
“Alright, so this next one is unfortunately the last one I’ll be playing tonight, but it happens to be the song that means most to me,” he said into his microphone, stealing a quick glance at his boyfriend, only to see him smiling softly back at him. “This is Leave Your Lover.”
Robert looked down to his guitar, the stadium becoming more and more quiet as he began picking the song. And when he opened his mouth to sing the stadium was near silent. That silence that left the audience stuck, left them wanting more, or left them in awe. And Robert could feel how heavy the room became as he sang, his voice a slow drawl into the microphone as he gave it all he had, put every emotion he had into it.
As he looked out to the crowd all he saw was black, but the further he got, one by one he saw lights. Little white lights in the crowd, almost looking like stars. Robert knew people were putting their phones in the air, them waving them in the quiet room as he sang and picked his guitar, and Robert would be lying if he had to blink back tears at the sight.
And when it was over there was silence for a moment, nothing to be heard but the echo of the guitar string, right before the crowd went into a frenzy.
Everyone screaming, clapping and on their feet, and the only thing Robert could do to not cry was to wave at the crowd one more time before heading off stage.
Someone grabbed his guitar from him but Robert could barely process that, too busy looking for Aaron. But when he saw him in Ed’s arms, his head tucked into his neck as he hugged him his face fell. “Aaron what the hell? I-”
He was cut off from the older lad nearly sprinting at him and lunging into his arms, almost making the two of them fall over. And it was almost immediate Robert felt tears on his neck.
“Aaron? Aaron what’s wrong?” he asked nervously, looking over to Ed, only to see him laughing and shaking his head.
“N-nothing,” Aaron hiccuped out. “I just… I love that song but I hate it at the same time and you started singing it and I-I don’t know,” he said, wiping his wet cheeks, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry, it was just so amazing, I couldn’t I-”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Robert said through a small laugh as he rubbed the older lad’s back and kissed his hair. “Where’s Adam? He coulda helped you out a bit.”
Aaron shook his head as he pointed over Robert’s shoulder and when the younger lad looked to see what it was he couldn’t help but let out a Loud laugh as he saw his best mate with tear stained cheeks and nearly sobbing into his hands.
“Fuck you Rob! Shut up!” Adam said, trying to wipe his tears away.
And just from these responses, Robert knew he nailed it tonight. It was the first of many shows they were doing in England, and if he could get at least two people to cry then he could call it a show well done.
*~*
“You’ve been on the same page for the last 15 minutes.”
Aaron jumped as he heard Pete’s voice, and then looking down to realize he hasn’t been reading at all. “Uhm yeah, just a bit distracted I guess,” he muttered.
“What’s on your mind?” Pete asked as he took a seat next to the older lad on his bed.
“Robert,” Aaron shrugged, him being the only thing he really thinks about these days. “He’s been gone for two weeks and I just miss him,” he said quietly.
He wasn’t going to even pretend it wasn’t hard because it was. It was extremely hard to not physically see the younger lad everyday like he was used to, not be able to hold him or kiss him, but just look at a blurry image on a computer screen and talk for a couple minutes before Robert had to get back to something.
“Well he’s coming home next week, it’s okay mate,” Pete said as he rubbed the older lad’s back. “Just think about how good this is for his career.”
Aaron nodded as he combed his fingers through his hair. “I know,” he breathed out. “But I think about that and I just get more worried… Like what happens when he goes on a world tour and I don’t see him for months?”
“Mate he hasn’t even recorded his first album yet…” Pete said with raised eyebrows.
“But it’s going to happen Li,” Aaron said as he leaned against his headboard.
“Aaron you guys have been dating for like a month-”
“Two,” Aaron muttered his correction under his breath.
Pete rolled his eyes as he sat back with his best mate, getting himself comfortable on the bed. “Officially one, stop it,” he said as he shook his head. “But you haven’t been dating that long, who even knows if you’ll be together in a year or two when this big world tour will happen.”
Aaron bit his lip as he looked down to his lap, knowing he couldn’t talk to Pete about this. He would just say he was jumping into things like he normally does, but with Robert he can see himself with him for the long run.
“I’m not trying to make you upset,” Pete said quietly as he looked at the older lad softly and wrapped an around around his waist. “I just worry about you Aaron, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he leaned his forehead against Pete’s shoulder. “You and me both,” he whispered.
*~*
Robert combed his fingers through the front of his curls, trying to get his breathing under control as he rushed down the hall. He couldn’t contain his excitement as he realized where he was and who he was about to see.
Sure it was pretty late and there was no doubt in his mind that Aaron was sleeping, but he hasn’t seen his boyfriend in two weeks and there was no time to waste. He wasn’t supposed to be home for another week but with a few days cleared up in his schedule Robert didn’t need to think twice before coming back home to surprise the blue eyed lad.
So when he got to the older lad’s flat he pulled out the extra key Aaron gave him and pushed the door open, only to jog to the his room a second later. And just as Robert was about to wake his sleeping boyfriend he stopped in his tracks, feeling his heart drop.
He saw Aaron sleeping, as he expected he would, but it was the fact that he was sleeping on top of Pete, his arm wrapped secure over Aaron’s waist as quiet breaths escaped them both.
Robert wanted to leave. He wanted to pretend he never came home, that he didn’t find the two like this. But Aaron always told him not to worry, that Pete was his mate and nothing more. So Robert pushed aside his thoughts and quietly walked over to the bed before gently shaking his boyfriend’s shoulder.
He watched as Aaron scrunched up his face, his eyes barely opening before he shot awake, only to lunge into Robert’s arms and make Pete groan from the bed.
“Robert what the hell?!” Aaron shrieked as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck and kissed him with a smile plastered on his face.
“Surprise,” Robert mumbled against his lips.
Pete stirred awake on the bed, rubbing his hand over his face and trying to wake up before he saw the two. “Robert,” he muttered as he stood up from the bed.
“Pete,” Robert said before not so subtly nodding towards the door, wanting him to get out.
“Right well, goodnight Aaron, had fun tonight,” Pete said before making his way towards his own bedroom.
“Holy shit I can’t believe you’re here,” Aaron breathed out as he pulled the younger lad impossibly closer to his chest. “I missed you so much, you don’t even know,” he mumbled into his neck.
“I think I have a clue,” Robert said through a quiet laugh before leaning down and pressing his lips to the older lad’s. “We haven’t been able to talk much and I just… I wanted to come home, I had to see you and tell you that I… I-”
“What’s wrong love?” Aaron asked quietly as he saw Robert getting a bit worked up.
Robert felt his throat clench as he thought about what he was going to say. He couldn’t even describe what it’s been like to not be with Aaron the past couple weeks, but then he comes home and sees him with Pete… He had to tell him.
“I just…” he swallowed thickly, gently resting his hands on Aaron’s hips. “I want you to know… Need you to know that I love you.” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip. “I love you so goddamn much and I don’t care where I am, or how far away, I’ll always love you.”
Aaron fell silent for a moment, searching the younger lad’s eyes, only to rest his forehead against Robert’s chest a second later, able to hear just how fast his heart was beating. “I love you too,” he barely whispered, feeling the younger lad relax against him. “Robert I’m scared…”
“Scared of what love?” Robert asked softly as he picked Aaron’s chin up to look at him.
“What happens when it’s not two weeks, but two months? When you’re on the other side of the world and I’m here and-”
“Hey, hey,” Robert said, gently rubbing the older lad’s arms, wanting him to calm down. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen Aaron, but I’m here now, focus on that.”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, not sure if he would ever be able to stop his racing thoughts. He knew that one day, be it in a year or two that it was going to happen. Robert was going to leave and it would feel like a lifetime before he came back.
But right now Robert was kissing him, he was kissing him with so much urgency, so much want, like they had seconds left to live. And Aaron wasn’t going to stop the younger lad as he gently pushed him on the bed, wasn’t going to stop him as he rid them of their clothes or thrusted into him with intent, telling him just how much he loved him.
*~*
3 Months Later
Aaron walked through the halls of the recording studio, a place he’s come far too familiar with at this point with his usual bags packed with lunch.
He tried to come as often as he could, but between his internship at the high school and homework on top of that it became difficult. Aaron was only able to make it about once or twice a week, but the days he was here to watch and listen to Robert were some of his best days.
He walked into the recording booth, and said a quiet hello to those at the soundboard as he saw his boyfriend running through a song.
Aaron placed the food on one of the tables before looking through the glass of the booth and smiling to himself as the song filled the room. Robert’s hand pressed firmly against the right side of his headphones, his eyes closed as he put everything he had into what he was singing.
But Aaron noticed he wasn’t alone. He saw a girl in the studio, singing with him.
Robert had never talked about doing a duet, especially a duet for one of the songs that he wrote for Aaron, and as much as Aaron hated to admit it the girl did make it sound better. That’s all that mattered, making the best album Robert possibly could.
“Aaron!!”
Aaron jumped at the sudden voice, only to see his boyfriend waving at him excitedly from the other side of the glass. And just as he was about to wave back he watched the girl who was singing with Robert pass him a piece of paper and winking at him before walking out of the booth.
Aaron narrowed his eyes at the girl, and it wasn’t until he felt Robert wrap his arms around his waist did he stop his hard glare. “What did she pass you?” he asked, turning around in Robert’s arms before eyeing the girl again.
“I dunno, I threw it out,” Robert laughed to himself.
Aaron hummed, an immediate smile making it’s way to his face as he looked up at the younger lad. “Good,” he muttered before kissing him quickly. “It sounded amazing by the way, I didn’t know you were doing a duet.”
“Yeah, they sprung it on me today. But it’s the last song to record and it sounds amazing so I wasn’t gonna fight it,” Robert said through a quiet chuckle. “So, you brought lunch,” he said with raised eyebrows.
“Right, yes, I did,” Aaron said turning around and sifting through his bags. And just as he turned around to pass Robert his lunch he saw the younger lad holding a small rectangular box and a deep blush rising on his cheeks.
“I have something for you too,” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip. “I was uhm… I was going to wait until we went out to dinner, but I’m just too excited,” he said sheepishly.
“...What is this?” Aaron barely whispered as he took the small box from the younger lad.
“Well I uhm… I just thought that with uhm, well I bought the new flat and you stay over at my place all the time, like every night, and we’ve been dating for just about 5 months now, I just- I was wondering if maybe-”
“Fuck Robert, yes!” Aaron said before wrapping his arms around the younger lad’s neck, not even needing to open the box to know it was a key to his flat. “Of course, yes!!”
Robert felt a wide smile spread across his face as he looked down at the older lad, cupping his cheeks between his hands and bringing him in for a hard kiss.
His album would be finished by the end of the day, his single was getting released in two weeks, and the man he loved most in the world was moving in with him.
*~*
Pete went silent when Aaron told him he was going to move in with Robert. He didn’t like the idea, not one bit.
They were moving too fast and Pete knew it was going to end in disaster with Robert’s fame guaranteed to grow. But Aaron didn’t listen to him, he’s been told too many times by his best mate to slow down and by now he was more than sick of it.
Aaron met Robert’s mum and sister at one of the concerts Robert was performing at and Robert met his own family over a Sunday dinner.
They knew each other, knew about each other’s pasts, their goals, their fears and everything in between. So to Aaron no, he wasn’t going too fast, he was doing things just right.
And when he moved all of his things into Robert’s recently purchased flat, them fitting perfectly into the space Aaron pushed everything Pete had said to him in the back of his mind.
*~*
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he stood over the stove and stirred the simmering sauce.
“Aaron, please, I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am,” Pete said softly. “I just… I can’t see you get hurt, I was looking out for you.”
“Why are you so convinced Robert is going to hurt me? What is it about him that makes you think that?” Aaron asked with a touch of anger in his voice, still not fully over the fight they had last week.
“It’s not Robert,” Pete breathed out as he shook his head. “I was like this with Matt too remember…”
Aaron nodded, that being more than true. If anything Pete was worse with Matt than he was with Robert, but that was understandable.
“I’m your best mate Aaron, have been since we were babies, and I can’t sit and watch you get your heart broken,” Pete said as he shook his head. “But I do understand that I can overstep my boundaries, and I really am sorry.”
“Thank you for apologizing,” Aaron said quietly as he glanced over at his best mate and back to the stove. “I guess I just wished you liked Robert… All I want is my boyfriend and best mate to get along and you guys don’t and-”
“Aaron, Robert just doesn’t like me, it’s whatever it’s not like it hurts my feelings,” Pete shrugged.
“He just… I don’t think he likes how close we are…” Aaron said slowly. “He doesn’t say anything, but I can see it.”
Pete bit his lip, knowing he and Aaron were a bit closer than most mates and were maybe a bit more touchy than most mates as well, but that was just their relationship.
“It’s whatever,” Aaron breathed out as he shrugged and checked the oven to see if the chicken was done. “If he was really upset he would’ve talked to me about it.”
Pete hummed as he walked behind the older lad, resting his chin on his shoulder to see what he was cooking. “Robert has you cooking dinner now?” he asked teasingly.
“No,” Aaron rolled his eyes as he laughed to himself. “I want to do it. Everyday he’s so busy and comes home stressed, I just want something nice to be waiting for him.”
Pete coughed a few times, “whipped,” he muttered, clearing his throat.
“Shut up,” Aaron nudged him gently, only making the younger lad wrap his arms around him.
And just as Pete was about to tease him a bit more they both perked their heads up, hearing someone come into the flat.
“Aaron it smells incredible in here, what’re you-” but Robert stopped himself as he saw the two in the kitchen, Pete’s arms around Aaron, at seeing him he very slowly released the older lad and backed away from him.
Robert stood there for a moment, just looking between the two before shaking his head and walking towards the bedroom to place his bag down. He sat on the bed, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to stop his racing thoughts.
Robert wasn’t going to lie, he hated how close Pete and Aaron were, how every time he saw the two of them a pang of jeaAaronsy hit him. They were always touching or whispering something to each other, always laughing and smiling and Robert thought he understood why Matt and Pete hated each other, it wasn’t hard to figure out.
If someone didn’t know, they would think Pete and Aaron could be a couple, they were that close. But Robert didn’t want to be like Matt and tell Aaron not to do those things with Pete. He didn’t want to tell his boyfriend what he could and couldn’t do with his mates, he didn’t want to be like that. So he sucked it up, reminded himself that Aaron loves him no matter what and got on with it.
“Hey, you alright?” Aaron asked worriedly as he saw the younger lad come back into the kitchen,
Robert bit his lip as he nodded, noticing Pete had left. “Yeah I uhm, I’ve had a headache all day, I wanted to grab some medicine,” he said quietly.
“Did the interview not go well? Did something happen?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took the chicken out of the oven.
“Interview went really well actually, I think it was just the photoshoot afterwards for the magazine that did it to me. The lights were really bright and they wanted like a thousand shots.”
“So was the photoshoot to go along with the interview? Like is it for the same magazine?” Aaron asked as he glanced over at the younger lad, watching as he got down two plates.
“Yeah, it’s for the whole Rising Star exclusive they’re doing on me,” Robert said through a small smile.
Aaron felt his own grin widen, still not over how rapidly Robert’s popularity was growing. “I’m proud of you love,” he said softly before kissing the younger lad’s cheek.
Robert turned his head, only to capture Aaron’s lips with his own before following him to the table. “Thank you for making dinner, I really appreciate it,” he said helping the older lad get everything situated on the table.
“Well I know how busy you’ve been and I thought you might be a little sick of take out,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he loaded his and Robert’s plates with food.
Robert hummed, not sure how many more nights he could handle chinese or pizza. “You thought right,” he said through his own laugh before reaching for his beer and taking a quick swig. “How was your day? Had your internship right?”
“Yeah, took home a stack of papers to grade,” Aaron huffed. “I guess I should get used to it though. I even have to make a lesson plan for Friday cause it’s time I try my hand at actually teaching a class and not just sitting in the corner and taking notes.”
“That must be exciting,” Robert said as he offered the older lad a soft smile. “Mr. Anderson must think you’re ready to take on the class, that’s a big step.”
“Well I’ve watched him teach enough to know what to do, but it’s still nerve wracking… Like not that long ago I was sitting where these high schoolers are, it’s just weird,” Aaron said as he shook his head and took another bite of his food.
“But you’re excited right?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like this is what you want to do?”
“Of course,” Aaron said without hesitance. “And no worries, Pete already calmed me down when he was over today so I can spare you my overthinking freak out,”
Robert swallowed thickly as he looked from his plate to Aaron, feeling his stomach twist into knots. “Aaron…” he said quietly, wanting the older lad to look at him.
Aaron hummed as he forked some more chicken, glancing up at his boyfriend. “What love?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
Robert scratched the back of his neck and cleared his throat as he shifted on his seat. “Well you… You know I love right?” he asked biting his lip. “And you know you can talk to me about that stuff, just any stuff... I don’t mind at all.”
“Of course I know that R,” Aaron said through a small laugh, finding it ridicuAarons he would even ask that. “And I love you too,” he said before leaning over and gently kissing his boyfriend.
Robert kissed him back but when the older lad settled back in his seat and continued eating he didn’t think Aaron got it. He didn’t think that his boyfriend understood just how much he loved him, how much he was willing to sacrifice or do just to be with him. And it bothered him that Aaron seemed to think it was okay to have the same relationship they do with Pete but without the physical stuff. It bothered him to see his boyfriend wrapped in someone else’s arms, to hear him whispering things to Pete that he wouldn’t tell him. But if Aaron said he loved him then Robert believed it.
*~*
Aaron cracked his eyes open, the morning sun hitting him right in the face and when he rolled over to tuck his head into Robert’s neck, wanting to shield himself he couldn’t find the younger lad.
At that he opened his eyes fully, it not being every morning Robert was up before him, especially with how busy he’s been with the record label lately, him needing sleep now more than ever.
So when Aaron shuffled out of their bedroom, his bare feet meeting the cool wooden floors that led into the kitchen he was surprised to find the younger lad at the stove, seemingly making a big breakfast.
“What’s all this love?” he asked through a small smile as he came up behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him.
“Oh good, you’re up,” Robert said, looking over his shoulder and pecking Aaron’s nose. “Just in time for my surprise.”
“Babe it’s like 8 am… What could you possibly surprise me with right now?” Aaron asked as he laughed to himself, pressing small kisses into the younger lad’s bare back, between his shoulder blades.
Robert grinned to himself as he placed down the spatula he was holding, only to reach for the radio that rested on the counter a second later. “In about a minute you’ll find out.”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, having no clue what Robert was talking about but then he heard it.
“And here it is, the newest and fastest rising star Robert Sugden singing his new single, Leave Your Lover.”
Aaron felt his jaw go slack as he heard the radio, only for him to have to cover his mouth with his hand as he heard the opening notes to the all too familiar song. He shook his head, not believing it, but that was it, that was Robert’s voice coming through the speaker, his song being played on the radio.
Aaron looked between the radio and his boyfriend, backing away from him and shaking his head again. “Robert what the fuck you can’t just spring that on me,” he said, almost feeling tears well in his eyes. “It sounds so good, oh my God I hate you,” Aaron mumbled. “You know I hate surprises.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he walked over the older lad, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him into his chest. “Love you too,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But they have it playing every three hours on all major radio stations in England, just to warn you,” Robert said teasingly.
Aaron hit his chest playfully, but couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck. “I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but I really am incredibly proud of you R,” he said softly, playing with the curls on the nape of his neck.
Robert bit his lip, trying to fend off the wide smile that was trying to stretch across his face, but in the end he couldn’t stop it as he leaned down and kissed the older lad softly.
And the two kissed in the middle of the kitchen until the smoke alarm went off, and even when they managed to make the screeching alarm stop Aaron was quick to grab Robert by his hand, nearly pulling his boyfriend into their bedroom and having zero intentions of leaving the room for the rest of the day.
*~*
3 Months Later
Robert kept a firm arm around Aaron’s waist as camera flashes went off around them rapidly. He put his free hand up, trying his hardest to shield the both of them from the bright light but even still he was seeing stars. And when they finally made it inside the flat building Robert had to adjust to the light and make his ears stop ringing from how Loud people were screaming outside.
"Well that is something I'll never get used to," Aaron breathed out as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How did they even know we were coming home?"
"We were caught out and stopped by fans, you have to figure that eventually we'll be coming home," Robert said through a quiet laugh as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side and kissed his temple.
Aaron nodded as he released a deep breath, just mildly annoyed that while he and Robert went out to dinner they were stopped. It wasn't every night they could go out like this because of their schedules and when it did work the night was always amazing, minus the fans and paps that seem to know where they are at all times. But Aaron was happy at least they could go out, that he could have a romantic night with his boyfriend. And even when they didn't go out Robert was always doing little things for him because he understood how hard it was getting.
He would bring home some fancy wine or a bouquet of Aaron’s favorite flower. Robert would make special dinners if he came home before Aaron did or surprise him with a pile of movies, candy and everything a person would want and need for a movie night in. And all of these little things Aaron couldn't oversee. He loved how they had been dating for over nearly 8 months and the younger lad was still doing stuff like this for him, and he didn't show any signs of slowing down. Even with how busy they were and how Robert may be gone for a couple days or week to do promotional things for his album at the end of the day no matter where they were or what time it was or how hard it was getting they found time for each other. To sit on the phone, call over video chat, or even if they were home they always time made to be together.
“Well despite the company outside I thought tonight was really great,” Aaron said through a soft smile as they walked down the hallway to get to their flat.
“Me too love,” Robert said, squeezing the older lad’s hand gently. “Now that the album has been out for a month things will slow down, I promise.”
Aaron let out a deep breath but nodded anyway as they made it to their flat.
Robert opened the door, allowing Aaron to walk ahead of him before he followed his boyfriend inside. “We didn’t turn the lights off did we Aaron-”
“Surprise!!!”
The pair jumped, both of them letting out not so manly squeals as the lights turned on, revealing three wide smiling men.
“What the hell?!” Robert yelled, looking between Adam, Pete and Ed wide eyed.
“I need to sit down…” Aaron said, clutching his chest and trying to feel if his heart was still beating. “I hate surprises,” he mumbled under his breath.
“I have some news,” Ed said in a sing song voice as he walked over to the curly haired lad and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“...And you’re all here because?” Robert asked confused, looking between the three.
“We’re going out to the club to celebrate!!” Adam said excitedly.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, having no clue what was going on or why Pete was here. They weren’t necessarily friends. “Celebrate what?”
“You, Robert Sugden are now a number one album selling artist!!” Ed said, grabbing the younger lad’s arm and jumping up and down.
Robert froze, looking between Adam and Ed, and trying to remember how to breathe. “W-what?”
Ed let out a Loud laugh as he looked at his best mate. “I told management I wanted to break the news to you, but you my friend are the number one album selling artist in England.”
Robert shook his head and when Ed and Adam started nodding at him he only shook it harder. “No… No, no, that’s not possible,” he barely whispered. “I-I knew it was doing good but… No, just no.”
“Babe?” Aaron breathed out, looking between Robert and Ed, wanting some kind of explanation.
“Look, right here,” Adam said, pulling up his phone. “Album Leave Your Lover, artist Robert Sugden,” he said, pointing to the itunes top albums, Robert’s name at number one.
Robert snatched the phone from the Irish lad, squinting his eyes at it, only to drop it a second later. “Holy fuck!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Geez R, c’mon,” Adam whined as he picked up his phone, checking to see if it was cracked.
Robert rubbed his hands over his face, not even sure what he was feeling as he started to pace the living room. But then he saw his boyfriend just staring at him, and he couldn’t help himself as he lunged at the older lad, wrapping him in a tight hug. And it was only a second later Aaron’s arms were around him, his head tucked into his neck and his lips moving up his jaw in frantic kisses until their lips met in a heavy kiss.
“I love you,” Robert pulled away, only to crash his lips back onto Aaron’s. “I love you so Goddamn much,” he mumbled against him.
“I was seriously hoping he would faint,” Ed muttered, a bit disappointed. “I had my camera ready and everything.”
“You and me both mate… Watching them snog is definitely not one of my favorite things,” Adam huffed out.
Pete hummed his agreement, looking at the pair that refused to let go of eachother and making a disgusted face. “So I was promised drinks tonight, and I think I’m gonna need them to be near these two,” he said jokingly.
“Shut up, you guys are the worst,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, wanting him to stay close.
“Man I need to get drunk, this is great!!” Robert said excitedly, jumping in Aaron’s arms. “Even if I get drunk I don’t think I’ll believe it, this is nuts,” he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair.
“Finally yes, okay, let’s go!” Adam said, grabbing his best mate and nearly dragging him out the door.
Aaron laughed to himself and shook his head as he watched his boyfriend get dragged out of flat and down the hallway. But he was right behind them with Ed and Pete, making their way towards the lift.
“I’m surprised you’re here mate,” Aaron said as he draped his arm over Pete’s shoulders. “No offence or anything,” he quickly added.
“None taken,” Pete said through a small laugh. “Uhm yeah, Adam just called me, wanted to talk about some stuff,” he said quietly.
“Like…?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows.
“Just that… Robert talks to him, ya know? And he just said a couple things that made me realize some stuff, and I wanna try to be his mate… He means a lot to you, so I can at least try, right?”
Aaron was a bit taken back by what his best mate said, and when they got in the lift with everyone else he couldn’t help but wrap the younger lad in a strong hug. “Thank you,” he whispered to him, more than grateful that Pete was willing to try to be mates with Robert.
Pete nodded at Aaron as he released him, but of course when he let him go he saw Robert’s eyes on him. “Hey, congrats Robert, really exciting huh?” he said, offering him a small smile.
“Yeah it is, thanks for coming mate,” Robert said, nodding at the older lad.
Aaron thought that that was the most the two have talked to each other ever, and just at that he couldn’t stop the small smile that came to him. At least they were getting somewhere.
*~*
Aaron jumped as he felt someone’s arms wrap around his waist and teeth graze his ear. But even in his drunken state he managed to turn around, of course meeting his boyfriend’s eyes and quickly connecting their lips.
“Come dance,” Robert slurred against him, not even waiting for an answer before tugging the older lad towards the dancefloor.
“My drink!” Aaron whined, reaching for it.
“I’ll watch it mate, you go!” Pete yelled over the booming music, earning a thumbs up from the older lad before he stumbled through the hoards of people. “He’s always been a lightweight,” he said, turning to Adam and letting out a quiet laugh.
“Well duh, he’s tiny,” Adam scoffed before he took a swig of his beer. “Wait… Where’d they go?” he asked, looking for Aaron and Robert in the dancing crowd but unable to find them.
Ed came up breathless and sweaty, taking the closest drink to him and chugging it. “Pretty sure R was dragging Aaron into the bathroom to blow him, fuckin hilarious mate!!” he said through a barking laugh as he clapped Pete on the back, nearly missing from how drunk he was.
“They’re ridicuAarons,” Adam muttered as he laughed to himself. “You know that R told me that they do it at least four or five times a week? Like what the fuck? How do they have time for that shit and not be exhausted?”
“Making up for lost time mate,” Ed slurred as he shrugged to himself. “Robert can be gone for a while, and I’m sure there are some lonely nights,” he said through a small smirk.
“Yeah I’m sure the phone sex isn’t cutting it anymore,” Adam said through a snicker.
Pete sputtered his beer, not able to help it as all of this was news to him. “Do they seriously?” he asked quietly.
Both Ed and Adam raised their eyebrows at him, not believing he just asked that. “Mate that isn’t even the half of it,” Ed said as he shook his head and let out a Loud laugh.
Pete opened and closed his mouth, not even sure what to say but before he could say anything he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. And when he turned around he saw his best mate, eyes glazed over, cheeks red and a bright new lovebite on his neck.
“U-uhm R and I are going, going back to our flat, just wanted to say bye,” Aaron managed to stumble out, trying to ignore Robert’s hands on him.
Pete couldn’t even nod before Aaron was getting pulled away by Robert, the younger lad sending a wink to Adam and high fiving Ed before dragging him out of the club.
*~*
Robert rolled off of Aaron, both of their panting breaths the only thing heard in the otherwise silent room.
His legs felt like jelly, his head dizzy and lungs feeling like they were about to combust, but to Robert there was no better feeling in the world.
“You…” he breathed out, looking to his boyfriend next to him and allowing a small smile to come over him. “You’re something else, you know that?” Robert asked, rolling over and pressing gentle kisses into Aaron’s sweaty skin.
Aaron let out a small laugh as he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s damp curls. “I’m telling you love, give me tequila and you’re dealing with a whole new beast.”
“I’ll have to give it to you more often then, won’t I?” Robert hummed before gently connecting their lips. “Love you,” he said, pecking his lips one more time.
“I love you too,” Aaron said through a soft smile, running his hand down the younger lad’s back. “Just not when you don’t use a condom, c’mon R,” he groaned, trying to ignore the uncomfortable stickiness.
“Sorry, was in a bit of a rush,” Robert said sheepishly.
“It’s not like it’s the first time you forgot,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes playfully. “Just come take a shower, you can make it up to me,” he said, sending a wink to the younger lad before swinging his legs over the bed.
Robert raised his eyebrows at that, more than happy to do whatever it was his boyfriend wanted him to. “Would you get mad at me if I don’t use a condom again?” he asked, snaking his arms around Aaron and immediately attaching his lips to his neck.
“Well since we’re taking a shower I guess not,” Aaron said in a fake huff.
And that’s all Robert needed to hear before pulling Aaron into the bathroom with him.
*~*
2 Months Later
Robert tapped on the bathroom door gently, his heart dropping into his stomach as he could hear his boyfriend on the other side. “Aaron…” he said quietly, biting his lip. “Babe can I come in?” Robert asked, already pushing the door open.
“No, no!!” Aaron rushed out. “I can’t get you sick, go!”
Robert opened his mouth to protest, but before he could utter anything the older lad pushed him out of the bathroom and locked the door. “Aaron why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come home sooner,” he said, feeling terrible.
“No I’m fine, just a fever,” Aaron said, sitting back down on the cool tiled floors and leaning against the bathtub. “Babe I can’t get you sick, you’re too busy for that.”
“Then I’ll cancel my meetings and interviews and take care of you,” Robert said, not even needing to think about it.
Aaron let out a deep breath, clutching his stomach and trying to get over the nausea he was feeling. “No, no, I already called Pete, I’m staying with him until I feel better.”
“What?” Robert asked so quietly he wasn’t sure if Aaron heard him. “Aaron I can take care of you, you don’t need to go over there.”
“Robert I’m not getting you sick,” Aaron said, this not being up for discussion. “You’re doing promo stuff and travelling and I can’t get in the way of that.”
“You’re not getting in the way Aaron…” Robert said softly, jiggling the handle but it was still locked. “I can stay home, I can cancel all my meetings and-”
“Robert stop!” Aaron said almost annoyed. “Please just stop, I’m going to Pete’s, that’s it,” he said firmly, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.
Robert stood there silent for a moment, not sure what to say. Of course he and Aaron fought, of course not all days were good ones and doors would be slammed or screaming matches could last hours, but this was different. For some reason this just felt like Aaron didn’t want anything to do with him, just didn’t want to be near him.
“Fine…” Robert muttered. “You pack your things to go to Pete’s, I’m going over to Ed’s with Adam,” and just like that he was grabbing his keys and making his way towards the front door.
*~*
Robert walked through the front door, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and placing his suitcase next to his feet as he let out a deep breath, happy to just be home. He hasn’t physically seen his boyfriend in two weeks. For one of those weeks Aaron was sick and staying at Pete’s and the other was when he had to travel, but now was finally home.
He kicked off his shoes before slowly making his way towards his bedroom, aching to see Aaron and have an actual conversation with him since it felt like they’ve barely talked at all the past two weeks.
But just as he was about to open the door of their bedroom he heard someone talking through the door, and it wasn’t Aaron, but Pete.
“We need to tell him,” he heard Pete say quietly. “C’mon Aaron, it’s been too long, we can’t keep this between us.”
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, straining to hear what the older lad was saying as he felt his heart begin to steadily pound in his chest.
“No I can’t, I can’t tell him, not now,” Aaron said, it almost sounding like he was crying.
“Then when can you Aaron? I swear if you don’t I will.”
“I have to be the one to tell him but I...I…”
Robert didn’t want to listen anymore. He could feel his blood boiling, the worst possible thought of what they could possibly be talking about going through his head before he bursted through the door.
“Robert,” Aaron said startled, wiping his wet cheeks and standing up from the bed.
“Pete get out. Now,” Robert said, straining not to raise his voice as he kept his eyes locked on Aaron.
Pete looked over to Aaron, raising his eyebrows at him and silently asking what he wanted him to do. But when the older lad nodded at him he knew that was his cue to leave.
And it was only once Robert heard the front door open and close could he feel his breathing somewhat return to normal. “What were you two talking about?” he asked quietly, knowing if he talked any Aaronder he would start screaming.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he looked at the younger lad, not sure what to say. “N-nothing,” he barely whispered.
“Don’t,” Robert said firmly. “Don’t start that shit with me Aaron,” he said through a cynical laugh as he shook his head. “What the fuck were you two talking about?”
“It’s not about you, well not really,” Aaron said quietly, feeling Robert’s eyes dig into him. “There’s this uhm guy that I met at a coffee shop while you were away a-and Pete wanted me to tell you about him because he asked me out but of course I said no, but Pete thought you’d be upset if you found out without me telling you.”
Robert looked at Aaron for a moment, searching his face to give anything away that he might be lying. “... What’s his name?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Ross,” Aaron barely whispered.
“Why are you crying then?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, feeling himself relax with each second that passed.
Aaron bit his lip as he shook his head, looking anywhere except for his boyfriend. “I-I don’t know,” he said, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. “I-I just can’t R-help it, I-I don’t know,” Aaron cried into his hands. “Y-you’ve been gone and w-we haven’t talked a-and everything going on with you and work I-I can’t- I don’t know w-what to do.”
Robert felt his face fall as he saw Aaron basically sobbing at this point, now feeling terrible for thinking something had happened with him and Pete. “Aaron I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he rushed out, quickly walking over to his boyfriend and engulfing him in a hug.
As Aaron felt Robert’s arms around him he couldn’t help but cry even more. He couldn’t believe he just lied to him, lied right to his face and made him apologize for nothing.
Yes, he did meet a guy named Ross who is studying to be an English teacher, but he didn’t ask him out. And Aaron didn’t know how he was going to do it. How he was going to tell Robert what was really going on, what had happened without bursting into tears.
*~*
“Stop fidgeting love, you look great,” Robert said through a small laugh as they walked through the crowded room, everyone trying to stop and congratulate him on his album success and everything that came along with it.
Aaron let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to ignore his stomach twisting into knots, ignore how the band of his dress pants were much tighter than they had been months ago. “It’s not that, I’m just excited for this grand announcement you have to make,” he said, offering the younger lad a small smile.
“Yeah, it’s a big one,” Robert breathed out, clearly trying to relax.
“So when are you going to make this grand announcement?” Aaron asked as he scDianed the room for Pete, desperately wanting to talk to him.
Robert was just about to answer, but then his eye caught something, rather someone from across the room. “Right after I talk to someone…” he said quietly. “Gimme a couple minutes babe, I’ll be right back.”
Robert didn’t even look at Aaron to see if he was nodding or not before heading in the direction of the one and only Matt, the older lad smiling to himself as he saw him approach. “What the hell are you doing here?” he nearly spat through his teeth.
“C’mon Rupert, it’s a company party, don’t forget I do work here,” Matt said through a quiet laugh as he clapped him on the back.
“It’s not a company party you arse, it’s an announcement party, one I know for a fact I didn’t invite you to,” Robert said, eyeing him.
“Well it’s our building, I’m welcome to come, relax,” Matt said as he shook his head. “What has you all wound up, geez. Aaron not putting out enough for you? Maybe found someone to replace you with and you’re just getting pissy at me and not the guy who took him from you?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
Robert felt his jaw clench, his hands turning into fists at his side. “I’m warning you here mate… Don’t go anywhere near him.”
“What’re you gonna do? Threaten me?” Matt asked amused. “If I remember correctly I don’t think Aaron likes boyfriends who threaten people.”
Robert let out a deep breath, not wanting to get into this with him. “Just leave. You have no reason to be here.”
“Fine… I’ll go,” Matt said, placing his glass down on the closest table. “But first lemme ask you something… How’s Pete been?” he asked with a small smirk. “Heard anything from him?”
“What?” Robert asked quietly.
“Him and Aaron? They still close?” Matt asked. “I mean I can’t tell you how many problems that guy caused with Aaron and I.”
“Yeah cause you’re a fucking dick who told Aaron who he could and couldn’t see.”
“No, it’s not that,” Matt shook his head, a small smile reaching him as he saw how agitated Robert was getting. “They were just… Well let’s just say when we first started dating I may have caught them-”
“Caught them what?” Robert barely whispered.
“Oh, oh no, maybe I shouldn’t tell you,” Matt said as he bit his lip. “Just keep an eye on them, yeah?” and with that he winked at the younger lad before making his way towards the exit.
Robert stood there frozen for a moment as he watched the older lad walk away, not even sure what was going through his mind. Aaron couldn’t have lied to him yesterday, he wouldn’t.
“Babe?”
He jumped at the sudden voice, turning around only to see his boyfriend looking at him worriedly. “What?” he asked, trying to stop his racing thoughts.
“They want you up on stage to make your announcement, Ed and Adam were looking for you,” Aaron said as he looked at Robert with furrowed eyebrows. “You okay? What happened?”
“No, nothing, nothing,” Robert rushed out as he shook his head. “Uhm I better get up there then.”
He walked away before Aaron could say anything else, trying to push away his thoughts, trying to ignore what Matt had said to him. But even when he got up to the stage and tapped the microphone to see if it was on he was only thinking about what happened yesterday.
“Alright everybody, gather around, it’s announcement time,” he said, trying to offer everyone in the crowded room a sincere smile. “So, as many of you know this isn’t just an everyday party, management and I have some pretty amazing news to share,” he said happily. “Because of the success of the album in two months I’ll be going on my first ever solo tour throughout Europe!”
There was a moment of shock in the room before there was a round of applause and one very Loud Adam screaming in the back how excited he was for his best mate. And despite everything that Robert had been thinking about for the past two days this made him happy. It was still surreal that he got the opportunity to do this and that his career was really taking off. The only thing that worried him was Aaron.
As he hopped off the stage, earning congratulations from everyone in the room he scDianed over the crowd, looking for the blue eyed lad, but couldn’t find him.
“Hey Ed, have you seen Aaron?” he asked the ginger lad with furrowed eyebrows.
“Uhm yeah, he went into the back room with Pete,” Ed said before taking a swig of his beer. “But hey R, congrats on the tour, that’s incredible,” he said happily before hugging his best mate.
“Thanks mate,” Robert said through a small smile, but as soon as Ed released him he went looking for Aaron, wanting to know if the older lad even heard his announcement.
He rushed towards the back of the room, desperately wanting to talk to his boyfriend and once he reached the door he pushed it open, wanting to see if Aaron was actually in there with Pete.
And when Robert saw that he was with Pete his heart stopped at the sight of the two. He closed the door slightly, still keeping it open a crack so he could hear and see them and at the position they were in it was making his blood boil.
Pete’s arms firm around Aaron, their heads nearly touching as he whispered something to him and yet again Aaron was crying.
“Li I can’t, definetely not now,” Aaron said shaking his head and trying to even his shaky breaths.
“Aaron you have to,” Pete said, bringing up his hands to cup his cheeks. “You should have told him the truth last night,” he said softly.
Robert looked at the two, freezing where he was as he realized Aaron did lie to him. But why? He didn’t understand, what was so bad that his boyfriend felt the need to lie? Looking at the two men in front of him though Robert had a clue. A clue that made his heart fall into his stomach and his eyes fill with tears.
“I was scared, I-I panicked,” Aaron stuttered out.
“But he’s leaving now Aaron, you need to tell him,” Pete said firmly. “Please, you have to and if you can’t I will, you don’t even have to be in the room.”
Aaron shook his head furiously, tears streaming faster and faster down his cheeks.
“Hey, hey it’s okay, c’mere,” Pete said, pulling the older lad into his chest and kissing his hair.
Robert couldn’t take it anymore as he saw the two. He shoved the door open, making it slam against the wall and the pair quickly broke apart at the sudden noise.
“R-Robert,” Aaron said wide eyed. “Please I can expla-”
“Explain what Aaron?” Robert asked as he swallowed thickly, begging his tears not to escape him. “Explain how you lied to me? R-how you fucking went behind my back with him?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at Pete.
“No, p-please I swear it’s not what you think,” Aaron said, taking a step closer to the younger lad.
“Don’t fucking come near me,” Robert said through gritted teeth as he backed away from him. “I knew it… The entire time I knew it and I believed you… I believed it when you said you loved me, when you said nothing was going on between you two.”
“Robert please if you listen to him-”
“You,” Robert said, pointing an angry finger at Pete. “You have no fucking right to talk right now,” he said, glaring at the older lad before looking back to Aaron, seeing him crying into his hands.
Aaron hiccuped a few times, trying to gather himself, trying to pretend none of this was happening. “Robert I do love you-”
“Don’t,” Robert shook his head firmly, all the hurt he had built up replaced with rage as he looked between the two.
“Please, please R,” Aaron nearly begged. “I love you so much, I-”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Robert said stopping him again, his hands forming into fists at his side.
“Robert…” Aaron barely whispered, trying to stop his constant sobs. “I-”
“I said I don’t want to hear it!!!” Robert screamed at the top of his lungs, his face going red in anger. “I gave you fucking everything Aaron!! I was willing to do anything for you and in return you do this shit to me?!” he continued to yell, feeling his heart break over and over again.
Robert let out a few deep breaths, combing his fingers through his hair and shaking his head, trying to figure out where he went wrong, how they got to this point.
“This… Whatever the fuck we have, it’s done,” he said, looking back to the older lad with a hard glare. “I’m done,” Robert barely whispered, his tears brimming his eyes as he turned to walk out of the room, needing to get out of there, to just leave.
“Robert stop, wait-”
Robert abruptly turned around, pulling his arm out of Pete’s grip and shoving him roughly on his chest. “Just take that fucking slut and leave.”
“What the hell did you just call him?” Pete asked with narrowed eyes as he took a step closer to Robert.
“You heard me,” Robert nearly spat through his teeth, not breaking eye contact with the older lad. “Matt was right all along. Aaron cheated on him with me, it was stupid of me not to think he wouldn’t do it again,” he said, looking over Pete’s shoulder, only to find Aaron looking as hurt as he felt.
He looked between the pair one more time, backing away from Pete and trying not to break down in tears as he rushed out of the room, never wanting to look back.
*~*
He ignored his calls, he didn’t respond to his texts or emails, and Aaron didn’t know what to do. Robert wouldn’t listen to him, didn’t want to talk to him or see him and all Aaron had to say was one thing. Tell the younger lad what has him so scared, now more than ever because Robert wasn’t with him, didn’t want anything to do with him.
But he called everyday. Aaron laid in his bed, his pillow soaked with tears and his throat raw as he pressed his phone to his ear, it going directly to voicemail every time, but he didn’t stop.
After nearly three weeks of nothing though Aaron had accepted his fate, Robert was never coming back, and that hurt more than anything that had happened in the past month combined.
But Aaron had to tell him, he had to actually leave a voicemail and tell Robert why he was acting the way he was. So for a final time Aaron picked up his phone, his eyes stinging, throat hoarse and nose running he laid in his disheveled bed as it rang over and over again. And when he heard the familiar voice telling him to leave a message at the beep, this time Aaron did.
“R-Robert, it’s uhm i-it’s me,” he hiccupped out before swallowing thickly. “Please I know what you think I did, what you think Pete and I did, but that’s not w-what happened… I was so scared Rob and now I’m more terrified than ever because you’re not here and I can’t do this alone, please,” Aaron nearly begged into the phone, biting his lip as he realized what he was about to say, what he was about to admit for the first time out Loud. “Robert please, I’m pregnant…”
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Thoughts on the chapter ?? Did you think either Robert or Aaron did anything right by not speaking up sooner about what was bothering them ?? Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't and if you have any questions, or want to know when I'll be updating next you can ask on here or on my tumblr thanks !!
Chapter 3
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
4 Years Later
Aaron scDianed over the paper in his hands, releasing a deep breath as it was only the first day back to school and already his desk was covered in students' work. But thankfully enough this wasn't so much a graded assignment, but a sheet to get to know the kids he's lucky enough to be teaching this semester.
And just as he was adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose, picking up a new sheet to look over he heard the bell ring overhead. A couple students nervously shuffled into his room, looking around and trying to find a seat to start his 8th period and finally last class of the day.
"Hey guys, take a seat anywhere and when everyone shows up we'll get started," he said, looking over the top of his glasses and offering the few kids a warm smile.
And as he expected there was silence, not uncommon on the first day, but to be apart of Aaron’s drama class you had to be Loud and willing to put yourself out there. The first day was always the hardest though to get the kids out of their shells, especially with them being high schoolers and trying not to look ridicuAarons, but Aaron did have a few tricks up his sleeve.
Once he saw that the room was pretty much filled, all the kids looking at him like a deer caught in headlights or just bored Aaron stood up from his chair, only to stand in front of his desk and take a seat on it, letting his feet dangle an inch off the ground.
"You guys know you can talk right, we're not in church," he said, earning a few laughs and a fair amount of smiles.
One point for Dingle, so far so good.
"Alright," Aaron breathed out, taking his glasses off and placing them behind him on the desk. "Well, welcome to Drama, I'm Mr.Dingle and I'll be your teacher for the semester. Just so you guys know a little about me I've been working here for two years, and before that I interned for a year with Mr.Anderson, some of you may know him, but clearly I took over for him after he retired. And we can pretend for my own self esteem that any of you actually care."
And again, there was nervous laughter filling the room, this time more so than not.
"So this semester in drama we'll be analyzing some of Shakespeare's plays, I know, I know I'm sorry but it has to be done," Aaron said before anyone started groaning, instead earning another laugh. "But we'll also be doing fun stuff like performing improv, how to deliver lines like for example comedic timing, and some writing. Now it's going to be fun, I promise you, but you guys do need to put in some work and loosen up a bit. I feel like I'm talking to my cat, you guys are just staring at me like you have no clue what's going on or you're just hungry."
That officially broke the ice, this time Loud laughs heard throughout the room and Aaron couldn't help the small smile that came across him as he began to pass out the course syllabus and talked about how marking will be done and important dates they should remember.
"So now that all that boring stuff is done we can start the real fun, or as I would like to call it first day torture improv," he said, earning a few wide eyes from the class. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding geez... It's not total torture," Aaron said jokingly.
"I'm sure it's more fun for you than it is for us."
Aaron looked up and let out a quiet chuckle saw he saw that the boy was clearing joking. "You sir are 100% correct," he said, trying to remember his name, thinking maybe it was Evan. "But if you guys relax, don't care so much about what people are thinking about you it can be loads of fun, trust me."
So Aaron began to explain the game scene replay, getting out his trusty bowl full of random scenarios that the lucky one or two chosen people will have to play out. And when he was done explaining the game he wasn't so surprised to see the entire class a bit mortified at the idea of having to go up there and perform in front of everyone.
"Do I have any volunteers?" Aaron asked, his eyes scanning the room. "No? None at all? I don't want to have to call on random, that-"
"Daddy!!"
Aaron snapped his head up, a smile immediately making it's way to his face as he saw his son sprinting at him. "How was he Ross? Alright?" he asked, scooping Holden into his arms and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
"Good as always," Ross said through a quiet laugh.
"Good," Aaron said quietly, offering the 3 year old a soft smile. "Oh right, uhm sorry, I completely forgot with going back to school and everything," he started, turning back to his class who were looking at him confused. "This is my son Holden, can you say-"
"Hi!!" Holden said excitedly, nearly bouncing in his father's arms.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as a few laughs were heard throughout the room. "And because you're my last class of the day and his daycare ends before our school does he'll be joining us," he explained. "I'm sure a number of you know Mr.Barton, teaches English." Aaron said, noticing some of the girls not so subtly gawk at his mate.
"Hey guys," Ross said through a small smile. "I'd love to stay and chat Aaron but I have hall duty in 5 minutes. Have fun with first day torture improv!" he said, letting out a quiet laugh as he left the room.
Aaron watched as Ross left before looking back to his son in his arms. "Have a good day buddy?"
"The best day! I draw you a picture!" Holden said happily, wiggling in his daddy's arms to reach for his backpack and show him.
"Show me later big guy, I have to get back to class," Aaron said, nodding towards the students watching them.
"Oh, okay," Holden said softly, knowing this was quiet time.
As soon as his daddy put him down he rushed over to his father's desk, standing on his tippy toes to get in his chair and pull out his coloring books.
Aaron couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him, this being routine as they did it all last year and by now Holden knew very well what to do while his daddy taught.
"So, enough wasting time, who's going up first?" he asked with raised eyebrows as he clapped his hands together, still getting no response. "Alright, you guys are making me pull out the big gun... C'mere R, help daddy pick out his first victims."
Holden smiled widely to himself, always loving when he got to play in his father's class. "Daddy I pick one person, they and I play," he said, already hopping out of his chair and standing in front of the class.
"Oh this'll be fun," Aaron muttered, watching his son walk back and forth through the aisles of desks, seemingly playing duck duck goose as he tapped each person on their shoulder, until he found someone to be goose.
"Goose! You play!" Holden said.
Aaron had to slap a hand over his mouth as he saw who his son picked. This kid must've been the biggest boy Aaron has ever seen in his life. His muscles the size of Aaron’s head and towering over Holden even just sitting down.
"Alright c'mon Peter, you're goose let's play," Aaron said as he laughed to himself and waved the blushing boy up towards the front of the class. "My son has made it very clear he wants to play, so have some fun with it, he's 3, you can act like it too."
Everyone had smiles on their faces as Holden led Peter up to the class, 10 of his steps equalling about one of the older boys.
"Okay, good," Aaron said happily, now having both of them up there. "So, our surprise improv scenario is..." he drawled out, reaching into his bowl of folded up papers. "You're both super heroes and you each think you're better than the other."
"Yes!!" Holden cheered excitedly. "Daddy can I go first I ready!"
"Sure buddy," Aaron said through a small laugh, noticing that his entire class was watching with amusement. "Peter you know what you're doing?"
"Uhm, yeah I think I got it," he said quietly, scratching the back of his neck and looking down at the 3 year old in front of him.
"Alright boys, let's begin!" Aaron said, taking a seat on his desk again and keeping his eyes on the two.
"I am the super spiderman!" Holden bursted out, making Loud laughs escape the room. "My web is more better than you!!" he said, pretending he was shooting the older boy with his web.
Peter stood there, just looking at the toddler, unsure what to do.
"C'mon mate, imagine where you are, what the scene is. Maybe you're on the city street or on a rooftop and you have to prove you're a super cool hero, show us something!" Aaron said making more laughs erupt in the room.
"Okay uhm..." Peter thought for a second, trying to get into character. "Your spidey powers are no good against Batman!" he tried, himself earning a few chuckles from the class, lightening him up a bit.
Holden scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "Spiderman always wins! Here I show you,” and just like that he was running around the front of the room, punching and kicking the air before doing a roll on the floor.
Peter let out an amused laugh as he watched the 3 year old, along with everyone else in the class trying to contain themselves. He looked over to his teacher, the older man nodding at him, wanting tim to come up with something.
“Is that all you can do?” Peter asked with raised eyebrows, making the toddler’s jaw go slack. “Unlike you Spiderman I can fly!” he said, feeling himself loosen up as the class laughed.
“Oh yeah?” Holden asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Prove it. Make me fly,” he said challengingly.
Peter opened and closed his mouth as he looked down at Holden, having no clue what to do. So again he looked over to his teacher, seeing he was just as amused as everyone else before mouthing “pick him up”.
“Okay, fine,” Peter breathed out before looking back down to the 3 year old and cautiously picking him up, happy that the toddler didn’t protest.
He situated Holden in his arms, basically laying him horizontal before running around the room with him, making the toddler squeal as he was “flying”. And that’s what had the room bursting into laughter, the Aarondest of the day as they watched the two zoom around the room.
Aaron watched on, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he saw the two continue their scene. His son was barely able to hold it together as he kept giggling to himself, still a bit dizzy after Peter spun him around. But when Holden was laughing so hard, almost needing to sit down from watching Peter Aaron called scene, class coming to an end anyway.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Aaron asked once the class had calmed down and he picked up his dizzy son, placing him down in his desk chair. “Who thinks they’ll want to go tomorrow?”
There were a few hesitant hands raised, the kids all looking to each other and biting their lips.
"Alright what if I throw Holden in there? Then will you do it?" He asked with raised eyebrows and it was almost immediate everyone's hand shot up. "Okay, okay, I'll see you tomorrow," he said through a chuckle as he shook his head.
"Wait! I say bye!!" Holden said, shooting out of his seat and running towards the door, giving every single person that walked out a high five and toothed grin.
"Bye little man, see you tomorrow," Peter said through a quiet laugh once Holden high fived him and he ruffled the toddler's hair.
Holden waved back excitedly, happy to make a friend in his daddy's new class.
"Buddy give me 5 minutes to pack my things and then we can go, okay?" Aaron asked through a small smile, seeing that all the kids had left.
"Okay daddy," Holden said, skipping over to his backpack and making sure he had his own things all packed up. "Wait daddy my drawing!!" He said excitedly, pulling out the paper and waving it.
Aaron perked his head up as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and scDianed over his desk, making sure he had everything. “Can I see?” he asked as he led them out of the room, reaching for the paper.
Holden rushed after his daddy, immediately handing him his picture and wrapping his little hand around his father’s two fingers as they walked down the hall. “See? It me, you, uncle Pete and uncle Ross!” he said happily.
“I love this buddy,” Aaron said, smiling down at his son. “As soon as we get home I’ll be sure to hang it on the fridge.”
At that Holden jumped excitedly, squeezing his daddy’s fingers and grinning widely to himself.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly at his son before looking up, only to stop in his tracks as he saw a blonde haired man walking down the hall with the principal. The same blonde haired man he hasn’t seen in nearly 4 years.
“R… R c’mon,” he said, quickly picking up his son and turning down a different hallway, nearly jogging.
“Daddy?” Holden asked, almost worriedly as he wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. “Where we going?”
Aaron could barely think as he rushed down the hall, still trying to wrap his around who he just saw. But he knew his son was getting more and more nervous and he didn’t want him to think anything was wrong.
“We’re going home buddy,” Aaron said quietly, adjusting the toddler on his hip and looking for the closest exit.
*~*
“Aaron you home?” Pete called into the house as he stepped inside, only to be attacked by a little body a second later.
“Uncle Pete!!” Holden yelled excitedly, trying to wrap his arms around the older man’s legs.
“Hey big guy,” Pete said through a soft smile as he scooped up the toddler and kissed him quickly. “Where’s your daddy? I gotta talk to him.”
“Kitchen,” Holden said happily, jumping in his uncle’s arms.
Pete nodded and adjusted the 3 year old on his hip before walking through the house, making his way to the kitchen and finding his best mate in the middle of cooking dinner. “Hey, I’m sorry my shift just ended and I checked phone as I was leaving.”
Aaron looked up from noodles boiling on the stove and to Pete, noticing he was still in his scrubs. “R can you go play so uncle Pete and I can talk?”
Holden nodded quickly, making sure to give his uncle one more hug before wiggling out of his arms and running into the living room.
Pete made sure the 3 year old wasn’t in earshot before turning back towards the older lad. “So you saw Adam?” he asked quietly. “And you’re sure it was him, like not even-”
“It was him,” Aaron shook his head. “Might not have seen him for a couple years but I’d recognize him anywhere…”
Pete bit his lip as he nodded and leaned against the counter. “So do you think he got a job at the school? He was studying to be a music teacher.”
“I don’t know, he was just walking down the hall with the principal but what other reason does he have being there?” Aaron breathed out as he ran a hand over his face.
“So what’re you gonna do?” Pete asked quietly. “I mean I don’t think you can go undetected for too long and sooner or later he’ll learn about Holden.”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he shook his head and turned back to the sauce simmering on the stove. “Robert already knows about him, I’m sure Adam does too,” he barely whispered.
“You don’t know that Aaron,” Pete said softly. “Robert might not know and-”
“Bullshit,” Aaron said angered. “That’s just complete bullshit because I called him, texted him, left him a message telling him!!” he said raising his voice. “I send him fucking emails with pictures of Holden all the time and-”
“Aaron,” Pete warned gently, wanting him to calm down so Holden wouldn’t come in and ask what’s wrong.
Aaron shook his head as he clutched the counter and tried to even his breathing. “How can he not care? How can he just…”
Pete let out a quiet breath as he walked towards his best mate and wrapped his arms around him. It’s been too many times Aaron has asked these questions and never found an answer for them. And Pete wasn’t sure he ever would get an answer, but all he could do was be there for his best mate.
“Daddy mail come!” Holden said, scurrying into the kitchen and nearly throwing all the mail onto the table before running back out.
Pete rubbed Aaron’s back one more time before going over to the table and straightening the mail out, but as he was doing so a magazine cover caught his eye. “Aaron…” he said quietly, wanting the older lad’s attention. “Want me to throw it out?”
Aaron could barely nod as he saw the front page cover with Robert plastered all over it. But to make it worse it was one of the many magazines that had pictures of him being drunk, a girl or boy always wrapped around him as they stumbled out of a club or bar. Since the day he left it’s been like that, and Aaron doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.
“So uhm… What’re you gonna do about Adam?” Pete asked quietly once the magazine was in the trash.
“Nothing,” Aaron breathed out, turning back to the stove. “Let’s just hope I never have to see him.”
*~*
Adam quickly looked around the hall, knowing he’s passed the same door at least three times.
He let out an annoyed groan, turning around and back again, trying to figure out which way his classroom was. But just as he started stomping down the hall he heard his phone ringing from his pocket.
“Ello?” Adam asked into it, looking back and forth between the doors, knowing one of these had to be his or at least he was getting close.
“Adamer! What’re you doin mate? Come over before I go back to the studio.”
“Rob I told you I started my job last week,” Adam breathed into the phone.
“Oh, yeah,” Robert said, completely forgetting that. “Am I still coming in to talk to your class or whatever tomorrow?”
“Yeah, if you could, I know you’re busy,” Adam said, still wandering the halls. “If only I could find my classroom that would be great,” he muttered into the phone.
At that Robert let out a barking laugh. “You’ve been there a week and you still don’t know where your classroom is?!”
“Shut up,” Adam grumbled, and just as he was about to tell his best mate off he heard something.
Adam furrowed his eyebrows as he walked to the closest shut classroom door, swearing he heard a familiar voice.
“Ads? You still there?”
Adam felt himself freeze as he would recognize that high pitched voice anywhere, even muffled and coming through a closed door. “U-uhm yeah, yeah I’m here,” he said, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts.
It’d be impossible for Aaron to be here without Adam seeing him at least once this past week. He was going crazy, there was no way.
“Alright…” Robert said slowly. “Well what time you want me there? Ed and I are pitching our duet idea to management in the morning.”
“Afternoon is fine,” Adam said quietly as he shuffled away from the door, still unable to figure out if it was Aaron he heard or not. “Say around 2 pm? That’ll be the last class of the day.”
Robert checked his calendar one more time to make sure he was free. “Sounds good mate. I gotta get back to the studio so I’ll call you later tonight. Good luck finding your room!!”
Adam pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard Robert hang up. But he was still caught up on that voice. The same voice he was sure he hasn’t heard in nearly 5 years. But then again as Adam thought about it it could’ve been a mistake. He was sure there was no way Aaron Dingle worked in the same high school as him and he didn’t know it.
*~*
“Alright room 205… Can’t be that hard…” Robert muttered as he slowly walked by each classroom, narrowing his eyes at the small number printed on each door.
Maybe he shouldn’t have made fun of Adam for being lost yesterday because this place was a serious maze. He tried his best though, walking past the main office two times and the second time he did he saw a very frazzled raven haired looking man, screaming about finding some kid he lost. But Robert continued on his way anyway, turning left down one hallway and right down another until he found this room.
He was sure Adam was probably freaking out, wondering where he was and Robert felt bad, he wanted to get to his best mate’s class as soon as possible to talk to them about the music industry but this school was making it impossible.
But just as Robert was about to get really nervous about never finding the classroom his thoughts were taken away by a small cry he heard coming down the hall.
He furrowed his eyebrows, knowing this was a high school and the person crying sounded no older than a toddler. So he quickened his pace, now instead of looking for the room, trying to find where this crying was coming from and why they were crying in the first place.
Robert looked all around the hall and it wasn’t until he saw a boy who was maybe 2 or 3 years old aimlessly wandering around and crying to himself did he relax, knowing where the sobs were coming from.
“Hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Robert asked softly as he knelt down to the boys height, unable to miss his tear filled bright green eyes.
“N-no find u-uncle Ross. A-lost,” he hiccuped out.
Robert nodded, trying to think of what do. He thought maybe the guy in the office was this Ross person the boy was talking about. “Alright, well do you have somewhere you need to go? Was your uncle taking you somewhere?”
“Daddy teach, I-I go to his room,” he said, wiping his eyes and trying to calm down.
“Okay, well do you know where your daddy’s room is? I can walk you there, it’s okay buddy,” Robert said quietly as he carefully wiped the toddler’s wet cheeks.
He saw the boy nod, and that was definitely a relief to Robert, knowing it wouldn’t be too hard to get this kid where he need to go.
“Alright, I’ll walk you there, lead the way,” he said, only for the boy to wrap his whole hand around Robert’s fingers and tug on him. “You got a name big guy?” Robert asked through a small laugh as he walked beside him.
“Holden,” he sniffled.
“Well it’s nice to meet you Holden, I’m Robert,” he said through a small smile. “How did you lose your uncle Ross?” Robert asked as they walked down the hall.
“He talking to the office people but I want to go and see daddy so I leave but then he no come and I lose him,” Holden explained quietly. “I love uncle Ross, I no want to lose him.”
Robert couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him, this kid really couldn’t be any cuter. “Well when we get to your daddy’s class we can tell him to call uncle Ross and not to worry so you don’t have to worry.”
Holden looked up at him, offering him a wide smile before he squeezed Robert’s fingers gently. “Thank you Robert!”
“Of course buddy,” Robert said softly as they continued their walk down the hall. “Is your daddy’s room close?”
“Here!” Holden said excitedly, suddenly pulling Robert across the hall.
“Easy big guy,” Robert chuckled to himself as he watched Holden rush over to the door and push it open.
“Daddy!!” Holden shrieked as he ran into the room.
Robert followed after him, keeping his eyes on the toddler until he saw who he was running too. And it was within a millisecond Robert froze. His heart stopped, air coming up short and his throat tightening as green met blue for the first time in years.
“Robert…” Aaron barely whispered, his eyes wide and his own body unable to move.
The younger lad’s eyes locked on him as the class looked between the two and started whispering amongst themselves, shocked that Robert Sugden was there.
“Daddy you know Robert?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Aaron looked between his son and Robert, his jaw slack as he didn’t know why Robert had Holden, or why he was here, and just as he was about to say something the younger lad spoke up.
“He’s yours?” Robert asked, undeniable anger seeping from him.
Aaron gently pulled Holden behind him, feeling every single pair of eyes looking at him. “Robert you need to go.”
“How old is he Aaron?” Robert nearly spat through his teeth, taking a step closer into the room.
“Robert,” Aaron warned, unable to grasp that he was in front of him, that he and Holden were in the same room, that the same man who has caused him so much pain was back. “Why are you here?”
Robert shook his head as he rubbed a hand over his face, just at seeing the older lad and with a child no less feeling his heart break over and over again like it had all those years ago. “I don’t owe you anything Aaron,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure if he was heard. “How long was it then? How long was it after you broke my heart that you went off and had a kid?!”
Aaron felt his face harden, completely ignoring the wide eyed stares his students were giving him. “Robert get out, now,” he said lowly. “I’m not doing this here.”
Robert scoffed, putting his hands up in defeat as he backed away. “Say hi to fucking Pete for me,” he muttered, before pulling the door open and slamming it shut behind him.
Aaron swallowed thickly and couldn’t move as he felt Holden’s arms wrap tightly around his leg, hiding behind him and every single pair of his student’s eyes on him. For the first time in years he’s seen Robert, since he left him, leaving a tornado behind him, and he came right back into Aaron’s life the same way.
*~*
“Adam!!” Robert screamed at the top of his lungs as he barged into the Irish lad’s flat.
“Geez, what R?” Adam asked, trying to restart his heart at the sudden burst. “And hey, thanks for totally ditching my class today. Like seriously mate you could’ve-”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me Aaron works at your school?!” Robert asked, his whole body feeling like it was shaking with anger.
Adam furrowed his eyebrows at the younger lad. “What?” he asked confused.
“I saw Aaron fucking Dingle at the school today!!” Robert said, making Adam’s eyes go wide. “And he has a kid!! A kid who is like fucking 3 or 4 years old!! Do you know what that means?!”
“Rob… Mate I’m so sorry,” Adam said quietly.
Robert let out a few deep breaths, trying to calm down so he wouldn’t keep screaming. “Do you think that’s it? Do you think Pete knocked him up and that’s why all this shit happened?”
“Robert I don’t know,” Adam breathed out as he watched his best mate pace in front of him. “I mean you never really gave him a chance to explain what happened, you don’t know-”
“He didn’t deserve a chance Adam!!” Robert yelled, making the Irish lad jump in his seat. “I can’t do this, I need to go,” he said shaking his head and walking towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Adam asked as he stood up from the couch and fast walked after Robert.
“I’m going out to get a drink, I’ll talk to you later,” Robert muttered, but as he opened the door Adam quickly closed it.
“R please, you don’t need to drink just stay here alright?” Adam asked softly. “We can just hang out and eat junk and play videogames, like the old days.”
Robert shook his head, wanting nothing more than to get so drunk he forgot any of this happened.
“Robert please,” Adam nearly begged.
“See you later,” Robert said quietly, opening the door and stepping out of the flat before Adam could stop him.
Meanwhile with Aaron
“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly as his father tucked him in bed.
“What big guy?”
Holden let out a quiet breath, tugging on his daddy’s shirt, wanting him to lay down with him. And it was only when his father obliged and he laid himself onto his chest did he speak up.
“Why you so sad today?” he asked, brushing his fingers through his daddy’s hair, knowing that when he does it to him he feels better.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked down at his son. The same green eyes, the same chocolate brown hair that reminded him so much of Robert. “What makes you think I’m sad?”
“I hear you talk to uncle Pete when we get home today,” Holden said as he rested his chin on his daddy’s chest and looked up at him. “I hear you sniffle and I sniffle when I cry but I no want you to cry daddy.”
Aaron felt his heart break as he saw tears gathering in the 3 year old’s eyes. He quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed his feathery hair, never wanting him to feel bad for him being upset. “How in the world can I be sad when I have you?” he asked in between kisses.
At that and because off all the kisses Holden smiled to himself and wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck. “Daddy how do you know Robert?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, hearing his uncle and father talk about him earlier.
Aaron stilled for a moment, knowing that Holden would probably bring him up at some point after today. “Well once upon a time he and I were very good friends,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around the toddler.
Holden looked at his daddy confused, them not seeming like friends earlier. “How come you no friends anymore?”
“Well… One day we got in a fight,” Aaron said quietly, swallowing thickly at the memory. “And he uhm… Well some mean things were said and he decided he didn’t want to be daddy’s friend anymore.”
Holden’s face fell as he listened to his daddy, unable to imagine anyone being mean to him, he was the nicest and funniest person in the whole world. “I sorry daddy,” he whispered, resting his little hand on his father’s stubbled cheek.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Aaron said as he shook his head and rubbed his son’s back. “Just know that with you there’s no way I can ever be sad,” he said, giving Holden a sloppy kiss on the cheek and making him giggle.
“I love you daddy,” Holden said through a soft smile, kissing his daddy quickly before laying back down on his chest and closing his eyes.
“And I love you buddy,” Aaron said quietly, placing one more kiss on top of his son’s head before closing his own eyes.
If there was one good thing Aaron got from his and Robert’s relationship it would be his son. And Aaron wouldn’t trade him for the world.
*~*
Aaron brushed his fingers through his hair, his eyes scanning over the paper in his hands as his son hummed to himself from his place in one of the student desks.
Because Aaron seemed upset the night before Holden made it very clear he was going to work with his daddy and going to keep him happy all day, so here he was coloring while his father went over his students’ first written assignment during his free period. But just as Aaron circled the grade at the top of the paper he heard a knock at the door.
“I got it!!” Holden said, immediately jumping out of his desk and running towards the door.
“U-uhm hello is uh, is Aaron Dingle here?”
Aaron perked his head up, recognizing that Irish voice anywhere before rushing towards the door and gently pulling Holden behind him. “Adam…” he breathed out, this being the first time he’s come face to face with the blonde lad in years.
“Hey Aaron, uhm Aaron,” Adam corrected himself as he shook his head. “Could we possibly talk?” he asked as he scratched the back of his head.
Aaron looked down at Holden, seeing him hide behind his legs before looking back up at Adam. “W-well uhm my son is here, is it gonna be like appropriate?” he asked, not wanting to have a scene like he did yesterday with Robert.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” Adam nodded as he glanced down at the toddler and offered him a small smile.
Aaron bit his lip and looked at the younger lad for a second before scooping Holden up and leading Adam inside his classroom. “Buddy can you just sit and color while I talk to Adam?”
“Will he make you sad daddy?” Holden whispered, noticing his father’s mood change before eyeing the other man.
“No, it’s okay big guy,” Aaron said through a small laugh before settling Holden in his desk and kissing his head then turning back to Adam. “So uh, what’s up?”
Adam shifted his weight on his feet and shrugged. “Just uh… How are you?” he asked quietly. “I mean I haven’t seen you since...”
“Yeah, yeah I know,” Aaron shook his head and cleared his throat.
Adam looked at the older lad for a minute, not quite sure what to say. “You know I uh, I never thought you cheated on him,” he said, just Loud enough for Aaron to hear him.
Aaron nodded as he bit his lip, and that’s when he saw Adam look over to Holden. But when Adam looked back at him it was almost impossible for Aaron to miss the younger lad’s eyes welling with tears.
“Has green eyes huh?” Adam asked through a shaky breath. “He just… He looks like…”
Aaron knew what he was hinting at, what he was piecing together but Aaron couldn’t find it in himself to just say it. But based off of how Adam was looking at Holden the Irish lad knew. Aaron was sure Robert and Adam already knew about Holden though, he didn’t understand why the younger lad seemed like he had no idea Holden was even alive.
“Adam…” Aaron said quietly, not even sure what he wanted to say.
Adam shook his head as he sniffled and tried to gather himself. “Aaron I’m not gonna lie I’ve missed you… And Robert he… He hasn’t been the same since you guys broke up.”
“I don’t want to hear any excuses Adam,” Aaron said firmly. “Robert left, he chose to leave me before I even had a chance to explain.”
“I know, I know,” Adam breathed out. “I just… I’ve missed my two best mates these last couple years.”
Aaron looked down to his shoes before glancing over at Holden, the toddler completely lost in his own little world as the school bell rung overhead. “Well uhm, let’s change that then,” he said quietly. “If you have this time free everyday then sometime we can go for lunch, like old times and actually have time to talk.”
Adam bit his lip as he smiled to himself and nodded at the older lad. “Yeah, it’d be good to catch up.”
“Well, good then,” Aaron said, offering him a small grin back as students began shuffling into his room. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you later.”
“Right, right, see you later,” Adam said quickly as he nodded to himself again. “Uhm, bye Holden, it was nice meeting you,” he said, waving to the 3 year old.
“Bye bye!” Holden waved back happily.
Adam smiled back at him before glancing to Aaron one more time and making his way out of the classroom.
*~*
“What was so urgent? I was about to go out,” Robert huffed as he walked into his best mate’s flat.
“Calm down princess, sit down,” Adam mumbled as he rolled his eyes and put his take out dinner down.
Robert let out a deep breath as he walked over to the couch and took a seat next to the older lad. “What’s up? Why did I need to get here so fast?”
“I just… I need to talk to you,” Adam said quietly as he scratched the back of his neck, knowing he had to do this delicately. “About uhm, about Aaron.”
Robert rubbed a hand over his face, really not wanting to deal or talk about this but he already came all the way over here. “What about him?” he breathed out.
“W-well maybe not Aaron but uh his son…” Adam said cautiously. “Like, you said that you saw him yesterday, you know what he looks like.”
“Yeah… And?” Robert asked, having no clue why Adam was talking about this.
“You know, green eyes, chocolate brown hair…” Adam said slowly, hoping Robert would get the subtle hint. “He’s 3, so you and him were still together.”
“And we both know he cheated on me, so why the fuck are we talking about this?” Robert asked annoyed.
Adam shook his head as he wasn’t sure if he should just come out and say it. He didn’t know if Aaron wanted Robert to know, but Robert was his best mate, he deserved to know. “R I talked to Aaron today at the school… He never cheated on you, I know that for a fact.”
Robert looked at the older lad for a moment, not knowing what Adam was trying to imply. “What’re you saying?” he asked quietly. “Adam he cheated on me, I caught them-”
“Caught them what, hugging? Whispering?” Adam asked with raised eyebrows. “You never let him explain, you don’t actually know what happened.”
“I didn’t want to listen to it Adam,” Robert said through gritted teeth.
“Robert,” Adam said firmly, wanting the younger lad to look at him. “Aaron never cheated on you.”
Robert shook his head as he bit his lip and looked to his hands in his lap. “Why are you telling me this?” he barely whispered.
“Because he has a son,” Adam said as he looked at Robert with raised eyebrows. “A son who is 3 years old and has green eyes and hair the same color as yours.”
Robert sat there still for a moment before biting his lip and shaking his head. “No,” he said quietly, pushing himself off the couch and began pacing in the small living room. “No, no, that’s impossible,” Robert whispered into his hands.
“Robert…” Adam said softly, knowing this would be beyond hard. “Remember you said Aaron kept getting sick and all that hormonal stuff, and maybe that’s what they were whispering about… Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you.”
Robert rubbed his hands over his face, his thoughts going one way and then another as he walked back and forth in the living room. “Where does he live?” he asked quietly. “Aaron, do you know where he lives?”
“What? No, why?” Adam asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Because I need to hear him say to my face that I’m not a father, that I haven’t fucked up so bad where I missed my own kid’s entire life and didn’t know about it,” Robert said through a shaky breath, trying to convince himself this was all one big mistake. That Adam was wrong and Aaron cheated on him and Robert wasn’t a dad.
Adam bit his lip as he saw his best mate about to lose it before he pulling out his phone and loading Whitepages, trying to look up where Aaron lived. And it took some digging, Robert getting more and more anxious by the second but when Adam read off the adress the younger lad didn’t waste a second before rushing out of the flat, getting in his car and driving through the dark city until he reached the house.
Notes:
I'm sure you guys have some questions but I'm sure they'll all be answered in the next update. Still feel free to ask and I'll try my best to answer without giving too much away !! Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !! And I think I may post a sneak peek of the next update on my tumblr. I did that with my last story and if you guys would like that just comment ! Thank you again !! Xx
Chapter 4
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
As Robert drove through the dark streets his thoughts were going a mile and minute and refused to stop. His foot heavy on the brake and hands gripping the steering wheel as he took a sharp turn onto the street Aaron lived on, needing to find this house.
And Robert didn’t care what time it was or what the older lad was doing as he screeched into a driveway of the small brick house he thought to be Aaron’s. He stomped up to the driveway, his heart pounding so Loud he could hear it in his ears and his breathing heavy as he got to the door and knocked with a closed fist.
He knocked again and again, rang the doorbell and continued his knocking until the door abruptly swung open.
Robert felt himself swallow thickly as he saw Aaron pulling a t-shirt over his head and the older lad’s hair all tousled, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.
“Robert what the fuck are you doing?” Aaron asked through gritted teeth.
Robert opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say something but for some reason nothing would come out. It hit him that in a second he could find out he was a father, and just at that thought he felt like he had just been smacked with a sack full of bricks.
“Robert,” Aaron said, getting more and more annoyed by the second. “What are you doing here?” he asked, more than ready to slam the door in the younger lad’s face if he didn’t answer.
“I n-need uhm… I need to talk to you,” Robert managed to say just Loud enough for Aaron to hear him.
Aaron looked at him in disbelief, having no motivation or energy for whatever it was Robert was going to say. But he figured that with it being so late, and Robert looking like he was a second away from crying something must be going on. And if it had something to do with maybe what Aaron and Adam talked about earlier then he had an idea as to why the younger lad was here.
“About what?” Aaron asked, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his eyebrows at him.
Robert shuffled on his feet as he was about to say something, but a little voice stopped him.
“D-daddy?”
Aaron quickly turned around and saw Holden clutching his blanket as he hesitantly walked towards the door. He let out a quiet breath before glancing back at Robert, sending him a cold glare before walking over to his son.
“Daddy I-I hear big noises and I go to you room but y-you not in bed,” Holden said as he sniffled to himself and raised his arms above his head, wanting to be picked up.
“I’m sorry you woke up buddy but it’s okay,” Aaron said softly as he rested the 3 year old on his hip and kissed his head. “C’mon let’s get you back to bed.”
Holden nodded as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder, already drifting back to sleep.
Aaron looked back to Robert, him looking at him nervously as he stayed outside. “Sit on the couch, I’ll be back in a second,” he said quietly before making his way towards the stairs.
Robert nodded as he bit his lip and took a cautious step into the house, closing the door quietly behind him. He watched as Aaron carried the toddler up the stairs and once he couldn’t see him anymore Robert walked into the small living room, stepping over toys and making his way towards the couch. And just as Robert was about to take a seat on the couch a high pitched meow made him abruptly stand back up.
He let out a deep breath, clutching his chest and checking if his heart was still beating before taking a seat beside the grey and white fluffy cat.
Robert began petting it, the cat immediately purring under his touch and stretching out. “Aaron never liked cats, how’d he end up with you?” he whispered, scratching between the animal’s ears.
“I was walking down the street with a certain little boy and he saw him in a box, and just had to have him,” Aaron said as he shuffled down the stairs and made his way towards the couch. “C’mon Rob, off,” he said, shooing the cat away and taking it’s spot on the couch.
“Rob?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Yeah…” Aaron said slowly as he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake up. “Holden named him after his favorite poet, Robert Frost.”
Robert opened his mouth, a bit taken back by that as Holden was only 3.
“What do you want Robert?” Aaron asked tiredly. “And what I’m really asking is why the fuck were you banging on my door at midnight?” he asked annoyed. “I mean seriously try to be fucking courteous. This couldn’t wait for any other time? Or no time since I don’t really wanna see or talk to you.”
Robert bit his lip as he looked down to his hands, trying to ignore the way the older lad was glaring at him. “I’m uhm, I’m really sorry… It’s just I uh, I talked to Adam and he said you guys talked today,” he said quietly, refusing to pick his head up, feeling his throat getting tighter and tighter.
“Okay, and so what if we did?” Aaron asked, a second away from kicking the younger lad out if he just didn’t say what he came here so late for.
“W-well he said some stuff… About Holden,” Robert barely whispered, already feeling his eyes sting with tears. “Aaron…” he breathed out, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut, trying not to cry. “T-tell me…”
Aaron couldn’t move as he looked at the younger lad, feeling his breathing up come short at what Robert was asking him.
“R-he’s mine, isn’t he…?” Robert choked out as tears began running down his cheeks, feeling like he already knew the answer.
Aaron bit his lip as he rested his elbows on his knees and looked to the ground, the room very suddenly feeling heavy. “...Yes.”
Robert’s breath hitched in his throat, his eyes pooling with even more tears as his chest began to heave. “O-oh my God…” he cried into his hands.
Aaron just watched as Robert began to cry harder and harder, began to shake and rock from his place on the couch. He wasn’t going to comfort him. The younger lad deserved the pain, the hurt that he himself has been dealing for years after Robert left. And even when Robert was mumbling nonsense to himself, pacing the living room, asking how he could be so stupid, said he had never fucked up so badly before Aaron just watched him. But one thing the younger lad mumbled caught his ear.
“What did you say?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Robert sniffled to himself and wiped his wet cheeks, it doing no good as more tears escaped him. “W-when can I see him? A-like actually get to know him?”
“Robert I don’t really want you near him,” Aaron said honestly, making the younger lad’s eyes go wide.
“And why not?” Robert said, a touch of anger in his voice as he stopped in his tracks and squared his eyes at Aaron. “I deserve-”
“Robert you don’t deserve shit,” Aaron said through gritted teeth, not believing that the green eyed lad had actually said that. “You left him, left us, and I want you to leave now,” he said, pushing himself off the couch. “You did it once, I’m sure it won’t be too hard to do it again.”
Robert stood there motionless, even with it obvious how angry Aaron was getting with him he wasn’t going to leave. “Aaron he’s my son too. You can’t keep him from me.”
“I sure as hell can try,” Aaron said as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad, his hands forming into fists at his side.
“Why are you doing this?” Robert barely whispered, himself growing angrier and angrier by the second. “Do you know how easy it would be for me to take this court? To get custody and-”
Robert’s words got caught in his throat as Aaron brought his hand up, the ringing slap echoing in the room.
“I fucking dare you,” Aaron spat through his teeth, his eyes locked on the younger lad as he cupped his cheek. “I’d love to tell the court all about some alcoholic popstar who sleeps with anything with legs and hasn’t even met his own son.”
Robert just stood there as Aaron dug his eyes into him like daggers. The older lad seething and refusing to move as Robert still felt the sharp pain on his cheek.
“I told you once and I’m not telling you again, leave,” Aaron said, straining not to yell as Robert wouldn’t move. And when he still just stared at him with wide eyes Aaron felt himself losing it. “Robert leave my fucking house!!” he yelled.
Robert jumped where he stood, seeing Aaron breathing deeply and looking like he was about to hit him again. So Robert slowly backed away, keeping his eyes on the older lad until he hit the door. “I’m not giving up Aaron…” he barely whispered.
Aaron kept his eyes on Robert, following him to make sure he was really out of the house. “Well I gave up on you years ago. Don’t come back.”
And with that Aaron slammed the door in his face and made a point to lock it.
Robert felt like he wasn’t breathing as he walked to his car, his feet just barely able to move. He couldn’t believe this was happening. That he had a son, that Aaron wouldn’t let him see him and that yet again he was leaving the older lad. But this time he wasn’t leaving for good, he wasn’t giving up. No matter how mad Aaron was, no matter what Robert had to do he was going to see his son.
*~*
Adam poked his head into his best mate's flat, tired of knocking and getting no response, even though he knows for a fact the younger lad is there. "Rob?" he called out, already heading towards the master bedroom. "R you in here?"
And just as Adam pushed the bedroom door open he was met with his sleeping best mate sprawled out on the bed. But what really caught the Irish lad's eye were the empty bottles of Vodka and Whiskey on the bedside table.
Adam bit his lip as he walked towards Robert, hating that this wasn't the first time he's come to his best mate's flat and seen him like this. "Robert... Robert wake up," he said, shaking the younger lad's shoulder gently.
Robert let out low groan, slowly rolling on his side and away from Adam.
"Rob seriously get up," Adam said annoyed, walking over to the widows and opening the blinds. "Ed called me and told me you missed a meeting with your management this morning. They're not happy, Ed is pissed you stood him up and-"
"Adam," Robert said, it coming out muffled as he shoved his face in his pillow. "I seriously couldn't care less about any of that."
Adam opened his mouth to say something but immediately stopped as he remembered last night. "You talked to him, didn't you?" he asked quietly, taking a seat on the bed.
Robert could barely nod, already feeling those too familiar tears returning to his eyes. "R-he's mine Adam," he whispered. "I-I have a son and I left them, I-I just left," Robert said, not even trying to stop the quiet sob that escaped him.
"You didn't know R, it's not like Aaron ever told you," Adam said as he reached for the younger lad and pulled him into his chest.
"I should've n-never left him," Robert hiccuped out. "I loved him so fucking much, I-I'm so stupid... A-and now I can't even see Holden a-and Aaron hates me. R-he has the right to I-"
"Wait, what?" Adam stopped him. "Why won't he let you see him?"
"Cause I'm fucked up Adam," Robert said, not even needing to think hard about the answer. "I'm fucked up and I fucked up all those years ago, that's it. I don't blame him... If I were in his spot I wouldn't let Holden see me either."
"Robert you just..." Adam trailed off quietly, needing to be delicate about this. "These past couple years you made some mistakes... And I know it was your own way of trying to forget Aaron, trying to get over what happened, but the way you chose to get over it..."
Robert let out a quiet breath as he swallowed thickly and leaned back against his headboard. "I know," he barely whispered, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to get over his pounding headache. "And I know I have to change, I need to so Aaron will at least consider letting me see him."
Adam nodded as he got off the bed, and motioned for Robert to follow him, needing to get some food in his system. "There's just one thing kind of bugging me about this whole thing though."
"What?" Robert asked as he shuffled after the Irish lad and followed him into the kitchen.
"Why Aaron never told you..." Adam said as he scDianed through the fridge. "Like, after that party he never tried to contact you or anything."
"I always figured it was cause he was with Pete," Robert said quietly as he took a seat at the breakfast bar.
"But he never was, so why didn't he try to tell you?" Adam asked, pulling out eggs and some bacon.
Robert sat there for a second and thought about it. Last night when he went to see the older lad he was too terrified about finding out he had a son to even question that. "I'm going over there again today... We just need to talk, clear some things up," he said as he let out a deep breath, trying not to get furious because last night his anger was fueling him and that what led to him getting hit.
"Well eat and take a shower before you go," Adam said as he kept his eyes on the cooking food. "I don't think Aaron will appreciate you showing up at his doorstep and smelling like a bar."
Robert bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded to himself. "He probably won't even let me through the door, especially if Holden's there. After last night I'm sure he doesn't want to see me at all."
"Just tell him you want to talk to him. Ya know, get some answers and Holden doesn't have to be in the room, just don't have a screaming match with him," Adam said as he shrugged and flipped the bacon.
“But what if he won’t even talk to me?” Robert asked nervously. “Like what am I supposed to do if he never lets me see Holden?” he asked, feeling more tears prickle in his eyes.
“Rob there has to be some legal thing that lets you see him at least,” Adam said as he shook his head.
“That’s what I said last night but then I got slapped,” Robert muttered.
“What?” Adam asked with furrowed eyebrows as he offered a plate of food to the younger lad. “Aaron slapped you? Aaron Dingle?” and when Robert nodded Adam didn’t believe it. “You must’ve said something fucked up if Aaron hit you mate.”
Robert let out a quiet breath as he shrugged and picked up a fork. “Well I did say something fucked so he had the right to hit me… I mean I also showed up banging on his doorstep at midnight, woke Holden up and I was just being an arse.”
“What’d you say that made him hit you?” Adam asked quietly as he got his own plate together.
Robert swallowed his food, refusing to meet his best mate’s eyes as he thought back to the night before and how stupid he had been. “I uhm… I said I’d take him to court for custody… Basically threatened to take Holden away from him.”
Adam almost wanted to hit Robert for saying that, he completely understood why Aaron did. “Alright… So if he does actually talk to you you better apologize profusely just for that… Never mind everything else you did,” he muttered the last part.
“Thanks Adam,” Robert said as he rolled his eyes. “I seriously don’t think anyone has fucked up more than me… Like ever,” he groaned into his hands.
Adam let out a quiet breath as he shrugged before taking a bite of his own food. “I dunno mate, the best thing you can do is apologize to Aaron, really mean it, and stick around. Show him you’re not going anywhere and that you really want to be a part of Holden’s life,” he said softly.
Robert nodded as he continued eating his food. He already knew that and he was going to do everything in his power and didn’t care how long it would take Aaron to forgive him. He already lost the two most important people in his life by accident once, he wasn’t going to screw this up and lose them again.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath as he walked towards the brick house, running his fingers through his still wet curls before knocking gently on the door.
His heart was pounding in his ears and his palms were sweaty as he waited at the door, and was more than ready for Aaron to slam the door in his face. But Robert was willing to just sit there and wait for however long it took for the older lad to talk to him. That’s all he wanted, was to talk.
And when the door swung open Robert looked up from his shoes, expecting to see Aaron, but his face immediately fell as he saw those familiar brown eyes. “Oh shit,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.
“What do you want Robert?” Pete asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You don’t live here do you?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like you and Aaron don’t-”
“What do you want Robert?” Pete asked again, this time sending a hard glare to the younger lad.
“I just uh…” Robert trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. “Is uhm, is Aaron here?”
“Yes,” Pete said simply, refusing to take his eyes off Robert.
Robert swallowed thickly, the older lad’s eyes digging into him. “W-well can I uh talk to him? That’s it… I just want to talk.”
“After the shit you pulled last night why should I let you anywhere near him?” Pete asked angrily.
“I know, I know,” Robert breathed out, still feeling awful about what he said last night. “But please I just need answers, I need to clear some things up,” he nearly begged.
Pete opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Holden’s in the playroom, can you go up there with him?” Aaron asked Pete quietly, his eyes trained on Robert.
Pete looked back to Robert sending him one more hard glare before letting out a deep breath and shuffling back inside the house.
Robert bit his lip as he shifted his weight on his feet and looked to Aaron, the older lad’s eyes red like he had been crying and bags under them as if he hadn’t slept either. “Can we uhm, can we talk?”
“You asked me the same thing last night and you know how well that turned out,” Aaron muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Aaron I’m.... I’m so so sorry for last night,” Robert said quietly as he shook his head. “I was terrified and furious at myself, I didn’t mean any of what I said.”
Aaron nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Is that all you wanted then? To apologize? Cause if it is I think we’re done here,” he said, already reaching for the door.
“No, no!” Robert rushed out. “I need to ask you something, it’s important, please,” he said with pleading eyes.
Aaron looked at him for a moment, arguing with himself if he should let the younger lad in or not. But by the way Robert was looking back at him he knew this was serious. Even after all these years he could remember every single one of the younger lad’s facial expressions and what they meant.
“Come in,” he said quietly, moving aside to allow Robert to step through the door.
Robert let out a grateful breath as he entered the home, now actually able to get a small glimpse of it with it not being the middle of the night and dark.
“What is it?” Aaron asked, leading Robert to the couch and taking a seat.
“Well first I just wanted to say how sorry I am for last night. That was… It was really awful of me to threaten you like that,” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip looked to his hands. “I was just so mad when you said I couldn’t see him, I-”
“What did you expect Robert?” Aaron asked as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad. “You think you can just come in here and demand to see him after you left us?”
“No, I know but-”
“No Robert, you don’t know,” Aaron said angrily, trying to keep his voice down and not scream. “You left me with a baby and a broken heart…” he said, feeling those all too familiar tears returning. The same tears that have been coming for years, ever since Robert left they’ve been there and Aaron wasn’t sure if they’d ever go away. “You tossed me on the side of the road like a piece of shit a-and then you think you can just come back here like nothing happened?”
Robert shook his head quickly, feeling his own throat tightening at the sight of the older lad. “Aaron I thought you were cheating on me with Pete, I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s not that you weren’t thinking Robert, you didn’t talk to me about it,” Aaron said as he sniffled to himself, trying to calm down.
He never thought he would be sitting here with Robert, having this conversation. Aaron never thought he would see the younger lad in the flesh again, but just at the sight of him all the wounds Robert left before he broke up with him felt like they were all being cut open again.
“Well you didn’t talk to me either,” Robert said quietly. “All you did was go behind my back with Pete.”
“Because I knew Pete would be there for me, that he would support me,” Aaron said, feeling himself getting a bit worked up.
“I would have been there… I would have supported yo-”
“No you wouldn’t have!” Aaron said, suddenly pushing himself off the couch and pacing the living room. “As soon as you suspected anything you were gone, you just left!! Pete was the one who took care of me after I found out!! He was the one in the delivery room with me, not you!! He is the only person I can fully trust because he’s always been there, don’t even try to turn this on me just because I was confiding in my best mate!!” Aaron yelled.
“Aaron if I had known I would have been there!” Robert said, trying not to raise his voice. “If you had told me I wouldn’t have gone on tour! I wouldn’t have thought anything of you and Pete and I would’ve been there for you! I would’ve been there for Holden!” he said, himself getting off the couch and looking to the older lad.
“Robert I did tell you!!!” Aaron screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling more and more tears sting his eyes, threatening to spill. “I spent an entire month trying to reach out to you!! I called you, texted you and emailed you and I got nothing in return!!” he said, all that hurt he felt 4 years ago coming back to him. How terrified he was, how heartbroken he was after Robert left him.
Robert felt himself still as heard the older lad, so Aaron had tried to reach him, to tell him. “Aaron I never got anything from you…” he barely whispered. “I thought you went off with Pete, I thought you were done with me…”
Aaron stopped in his tracks, feeling his breathing stop as he looked to Robert. “No, that’s impossible… You’re lying.”
“Aaron I’m not,” Robert said, his breath getting caught in his throat at the thought of the older lad trying to reach him, to tell him. “I never got a single thing from you.”
Aaron shook his head as his hands clenched into fists at his side. “No, no!! I called you, I texted you, you’re lying!!” he yelled. “Y-you’re just saying that to cover up for the fact that you didn’t want him or me!! you-”
“Aaron I’m not!!” Robert said again, this time raising his own voice. “If I had known I would’ve come running back, no sprinting just to be with you!!”
“How is that possible?” Aaron asked, his voice sharp. “How could you just not get anything I sent you?”
Robert opened and closed his mouth as he shook his head, trying to think back all those years ago. But then he remembered. Robert almost wanted to hit something or throw something as he remembered the tour, the growing fame, the increasing security.
“They changed my number,” he barely whispered. “The day of the party, the same day we got in the fight, they changed my cellphone number for security reasons.”
Aaron felt his breathing stop as he looked to the younger lad, feeling his tears slip onto his cheeks. He could feel his body shake as he hid his face in his hands, quiet sobs escaping him at the thought that Robert actually never knew about Holden. That he wasn’t intentionally not present in their lives, but because he didn’t know about the life he had to be present for.
“W-what about the emails?” Aaron stuttered out. “I-I send you emails a-all the time… Pictures of him growing up…”
Robert shook his head again, never getting an email or thinking that he ever even had Aaron’s email.
“No, now I know you’re lying,” Aaron said as he wiped his wet cheeks and squared his eyes at the younger lad.
“Aaron I’m not lying to you…” Robert said softly as he took a careful step towards Aaron.
“Stop!” Aaron said suddenly, backing away from him. “Pete gave me your email, it’s impossible for you not to get them!!”
“How the hell would Pete get my email?” Robert asked, none of this making sense.
Aaron began pacing again, all of his coming at him too fast. Robert must’ve known about Holden, he was lying to him. “R-he went to your record label and found Matt a-and Matt gave him your email.”
Robert looked at the older lad for a second, his heart dropping into his stomach as he heard that. “Aaron that’s not possible…” he said quietly.
“Y-yes it is! Pete told me, he gave me your email!!” Aaron said raising his voice again.
“Aaron no,” Robert said firmly. “Matt went to a different record label the day after that party, he didn’t work with us anymore, he couldn’t get my email.”
Aaron shook his head fast and hard still not believing him. Pete wouldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t intentionally make it so Robert wouldn’t know about Holden, he wouldn’t do that.
As Aaron looked like he was a second away from crying again Robert was ready to hit someone, a certain someone. If Pete had actually gotten his email Robert would’ve been there. He would’ve dropped everything, the tour, the meetings, the interviews whatever he had to do to take care of his family.
“Pete!!” Robert screamed, about ready to lose it.
“You’re lying,” Aaron cried into his hands, shaking his head again.
Robert felt his breathing become ragged as he saw Pete come down the stairs, immediately heading towards Aaron as he saw him crying but Robert stopped him. “You fucking son of a bitch tell him!!” he yelled getting in front of the older lad and squaring his eyes at him. “Tell him what you fucking did!!”
Pete narrowed his eyes right back at Robert before looking over the younger lad’s shoulder to Aaron. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Robert was done, completely enraged as he looked at the man in front of him before bringing up his fist and hitting him square in the jaw.
“Robert!!” Aaron yelled, about to shove past him to get to Pete before Robert stopped him.
“The fucking emails you prick, tell him!!” Robert screamed over Pete as he laid on the ground, clutching his jaw. “Tell him how you lied to him!! How you made it so for the past 4 years I never knew I had a son and you let him believe I knew!!”
Pete swallowed thickly as he looked at Robert but then focused his attention to his best mate. “Aaron… He was just going to hurt you again, I couldn’t-” he stopped himself, flinching as Robert bent down to punch him again but Aaron stopped him, forcefully pulling the curly haired lad behind him. “I-I couldn’t let him hurt you again and then Holden,” Pete barely whispered.
Aaron felt himself still as he took in Pete’s words. His throat closing and eyes pooling with more tears as he watched his best mate slowly get up from the ground. “Y-you lied to me?” he asked so quietly he wasn’t sure if Pete heard him or not. “R-how- I mean… Wh-why would you do that?!” Aaron yelled, already feeling tears on his cheeks.
“Aaron he left you,” Pete said firmly, eyeing Robert.
“And if I had known, if you had actually gotten my email address I would’ve came right back,” Robert said through gritted teeth. “If he told me what was going on I would’ve been here for him, for Holden and you fucked that up.”
“Don’t turn this on me Robert, this was all you,” Pete said as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad. “You didn’t let him explain, you jumped to conclusions and you were the one who left.”
Robert had to hold himself back not to hit him again. He could already see Aaron getting more and more upset by the second and he couldn’t keep hurting him. “You are such a fucking prick you knew how I felt about how close you and Aaron were when we were dating,” he nearly spat through his teeth. “I know Adam talked to you, asked you to calm it down with him and instead you just continued to shove your relationship in my face, you knew the whole time.”
“...A-Pete?” Aaron hiccupped out as he furrowed his eyebrows at his best mate. “You never said anything… You… Y-you-”
“Aaron I’m sorry,” Pete said softly, and just as he was about to walk towards the older lad Aaron broke down.
Aaron couldn’t take it anymore as he took a seat on the couch and just sobbed into his hands. Robert never knew about Holden, and he would’ve come back for them if he did know. Pete, the only person he thought he could 100% trust has been lying to him for years, feeding him false information and lighting his hate for Robert by making him think that he knew about Holden. If Pete had given him Robert’s real email, if he hadn’t given him some fake one Robert would've been there. He couldn’t do this, it was too much.
“C-can you please go?” Aaron barely whispered, trying his best to calm down.
Pete looked over to Robert with raised eyebrows but when Aaron said a barely audible “Pete” he abruptly turned to his best mate. “You’re letting him stay? Are you kidding me?”
Aaron sniffled again, squeezing his eyes shut so no more tears would escape him as he hid his face in his hands.
So Robert took matters into his own hands. He took a step closer to Pete, not so subtly nodding towards the door, silently telling him to leave. And it felt like all those years ago. The looks Robert would send Pete, the way the older lad would scowl and scoff as he pushed past him and made his way towards the door, closing it forcefully behind him. It was that all over again as Pete left the two.
Robert made sure Pete was out the door before quietly shuffling over to the couch, taking a cautious seat on the couch as Aaron sat there motionless, his face hidden in his hands. He brought up a careful hand, placing it on the older lad’s back to help him calm down but it was immediate Aaron flinched and shoved his arm away.
And Robert got it, he understood as he pulled his hand back and just looked at the older lad, knowing he didn’t trust him, probably still didn't want to be near him at all. So he didn’t say anything. Instead Robert pushed himself off the couch and looked around for a moment, trying to find the kitchen. And once he found it he set right to work on making tea.
Finding everything he needed was just a little difficult, but Robert remembered Aaron always putting his tea too high to reach. He remembered the older lad standing on his toes, or getting a chair, but if Robert was home Aaron would always have him get it.
Robert remembered the way Aaron would always wrap his arms around him as he reached up for the box, how he would press gentle kisses into his back and once he actually had his tea would pull Robert right into his chest and press their lips together.
But he quickly shook his head, those only being memories. They were memories and moments he was never going to get back because of how badly he had screwed up.
So instead of getting caught in the past Robert finished making the tea and carefully carried it into the living room before passing it to Aaron who seemed like he hadn’t moved an inch from his spot.
“Here,” Robert said softly, taking a seat on the couch and passing the mug to the older lad.
Aaron slowly picked his head up, his eyes still stinging from how much he was crying as he took the mug from Robert. “Thanks,” he said quietly before taking a sip, almost immediately feeling his tears come back as he did so. “You remembered how to make it,” Aaron barely whispered.
“Well after the amount of times you forced me to make it of course I would remember,” Robert said through a small laugh.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he nodded, keeping his eyes locked on the hot liquid in his hands. “I really uhm… I need to think over a couple of things,” he said quietly. “All of this just happened so fast and I know you want to see Holden and be a part of his life… But I… I just need to think.”
Robert bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, that sounding more than reasonable considering what Aaron said last night. “Yeah, of course, take your time,” he said gently.
“Daddy I up from my nap!!”
Both men perked their heads up at Holden’s little voice, Aaron letting out a deep breath as he didn’t even know Pete had put him down but was secretly grateful he did.
“Do you uhm… Should I go?” Robert asked, not knowing if Aaron wanted Holden to see him.
He wanted to do this by Aaron’s terms because it was the older lad that needed to forgive him. It was Aaron he had to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere, prove that he respected him as a father and Robert didn’t want to push him.
And all Aarons did was nod as he heard his son’s little feet patter around upstairs, about to head towards the stairs to join him in the living room. “I’ll get in touch with you, just give me a little bit.”
“Of course,” Robert breathed out as he pushed himself off the couch. “I uhm… I still have your number so I’ll text you so you can have mine.”
Again Aaron nodded, his eyes focusing back on the tea in his hands.
Robert looked at him for a moment, could hear Holden running around upstairs and all he wanted to do was see him. He just wanted to talk to his son, to spend time with him and get to know him but as Robert walked towards the door and out to his car he thought that time would come soon. And it broke his heart as he sat in his car in Aaron’s driveway that he wasn’t in there, that Aaron didn’t want him in there. But Robert had to prove himself, had to show Aaron that he wasn’t going to give up on them. He will give the older lad space and let him think, but Robert wasn’t leaving them, not again.
*~*
It was a week later and Aaron still didn't know what to tell Robert, what to say to him.
Of course the younger lad would text him, ask him about his day or how Holden was doing but all Aaron ever gave him were very short answers. Him and Holden kept with their routine during the week, Aaron teaching, and Holden going to daycare before he joined his father at the school and they went home. But everyday Aaron was constantly battling with himself on what to do.
He hasn't talked to Pete, he doesn't know what to say to him. And he's been avoiding Adam at the school, only really talking to Ross when he drops Holden off.
Thankfully Holden or his students hadn't noticed anything about his behavior. His son still joins in on improv games and the class loves the toddler more and more each day so Aaron can't complain about that at all.
But as he looks at his son it's so hard for him not to see Robert, or at least the Robert he once knew. The bubbly, outgoing and hilarious traits the younger lad had Holden did too, and as the toddler got ready for bed Friday night, Aaron looking for a book for them to read, it was hard for him not to think the same thing over and over again as he glanced towards his son's bed.
"Daddy can you read Rob tonight?" Holden asked as he grabbed his blanket and pulled it into his chest.
"Of course big guy," Aaron breathed out, reaching for the book of poems before making his way towards the bed and laying down next to his son.
"I want page 35 please," Holden said through a small smile as he shuffled next to his daddy, resting his head on his shoulder so he could look at the page.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he flipped to the page, knowing Holden had no clue what poem was on it but just liked picking random numbers. And once he found the page he wrapped a secure arm around his son, pulling him impossibly closer to his side before looking at the title of the poem.
"Alright, this one is called The Road Not Taken," Aaron said quietly as he settled the book on his chest.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Aaron released a quiet breath as he finished the poem, looking down to Holden to see if he was actually still awake. And his son was very awake, just staring at the page with his bright green eyes as he sucked his thumb.
“Daddy what does this one mean?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I’ll tell you as soon as you take your thumb out of your mouth,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he poked the toddler’s side, making him giggle. “There you are big guy,” he said as he smiled to himself, taking his son’s hand in his own and playing with his little fingers.
“Now you tell me?” Holden asked quietly as he looked at his hand in his daddy’s much larger one.
“I guess,” Aaron said through a fake huff, making the 3 year old laugh into his neck. “So Mr.Frost is writing about having to make a decision, that’s what the two roads symbolize, like that’s what they mean,” he tried to explain as easily as possible. “It’s like when you don’t know if you want mac and cheese or daddy’s famous chicken soup and you have to choose one for dinner.”
“What?” Holden asked as he placed a little hand over his mouth. “But that so hard, you no only pick one!!”
“You have to only pick one,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he looked down at the 3 year old. “But that’s what he’s saying, it’s hard to pick one, and he didn’t know what was at the end of the road because no one had gone down there before. And he decided he was going to go down that road and find out what was there, and he was happy he had.”
Holden nodded slowly as he wrapped his arm over his daddy’s tummy and tucked his head into his neck. “Well Rob smart cause I no choose. That too hard.”
Aaron had to bite his lip, trying to stop his grin from widening as he looked down at Holden. It was impossible not to find him utterly adorable, especially when he was tired. “Well good thing you don’t have any big decisions to make for a while there big guy,” he whispered, gently rubbing his son’s back and kissing his head. “Goodnight R, love you.”
“Night night daddy, love you too” Holden said sleepily as he let his father get up from his bed and immediately snuggled into his blankets.
Aaron gave him one more kiss and ran his fingers through Holden’s feathery hair before making sure he was tucked in and silently walking out of the room. And once he made it into the hall Aaron stopped himself, the words in the poem running through his head.
He’s been having to make his own decision, whether to let Robert be a part of Holden’s life or not. Aaron could take the unknown road, let Robert see him and risk the younger lad leaving them again but at the same time let Robert get to know their son. Or he could just not let Robert see Holden at all and nothing would change, it would still be him and his son, the road he knows and is comfortable with.
And he didn’t know what made him do it, what made him pull out his phone and scroll until he found Robert’s number, creating a new message.
To Robert: Come over for dinner tomorrow ?
Maybe it was the Robert Frost's’ words in his head, or it was Aaron’s secret curiosity and his way of testing Robert as he sent the message off. He didn’t trust the younger lad one bit, but this was one way to see how he was with Holden, if he even seemed like he could act like a father.
And Robert’s response was quick and exactly what Aaron thought the younger lad would say. So this was the first step down the unknown road, and Aaron only hoped he made the right decision.
From Robert: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
*~*
“Holden!!” Aaron yelled up the stairs, only to hear the little patter of feet a second later.
“What daddy?” Holden said as he hopped down the stairs and leapt into his father’s arms.
Aaron let out a quiet laugh as he caught the 3 year old and felt him wrap his arms around his neck. “So someone is coming over in just a few minutes for dinner, do you think you can wash your hands for me?”
“Who coming for dinner?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“You’ll see buddy, but hands first,” Aaron said, giving the toddler a sloppy kiss on the cheek before setting him down and watching as he scurried down the hall to the bathroom. “And use soap!!” he called after him.
“Maybe!” Holden yelled back through a giggle, making his father roll his eyes.
“You better or I’ll send the tickle monster on you tonight!!” Aaron warned as he made his way towards the kitchen to check on dinner.
“No Rob protect me!!” Holden said as he washed his hands, referring to the cat.
Aaron scoffed quietly to himself as he shook his head and checked the lasagna in the oven. And when he stood back up he noticed the time, Robert was going to be here any minute, and at that thought it made Aaron grow a bit nervous. But he didn’t even have time to overthink anything before he heard the doorbell go off, making his heart beat just a bit faster.
“I got it!!”
Aaron snapped his head up, immediately rushing towards the door but he couldn’t get it in time before his son opened the door. “Holden what did I tell you about answering the door? You can’t do that buddy, only if I’m with you,” he said kneeling down to the 3 year old’s height.
Holden didn’t even take in what his father had said as he looked up at the man at their door, recognizing him immediately. “Daddy,” he whispered, tapping on his father’s shoulder before cupping a hand around his ear.
Robert swallowed thickly as he looked at the two, already nervous enough but now Holden didn’t even seem remotely pleased to see him. And to make it worse he knew the toddler was whispering about him, given by the way Aaron kept glancing at him.
“Daddy why he here, he make you sad,” Holden whispered.
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he looked up at Robert, seeing the worry flash across his face as Holden whispered to him. “Well he apologized and daddy thought it would be nice if he could come over for a little bit,” he said softly, feeling the younger lad’s eyes on them.
“So you no sad?” Holden asked quietly as he bit his lip. “I no want you sad daddy.”
“No, I’m not sad buddy, it’s okay,” Aaron said as he offered Holden a soft smile. “But let’s be polite yeah? Can we be nice to Robert?”
Holden looked up to the man still standing at his door before letting out a small huff and nodding at his daddy. “Hi Robert,” he said quietly, hiding slightly behind his father’s legs as he stood up.
Robert cleared his throat nervously, trying to calm down but the harder he tried the more impossible it seemed. “Hey buddy it’s good to see you again,” he said softly, offering the 3 year old a small smile.
Aaron looked between the two, watching to see if Holden would say anything else, but by the way he was clinging to his leg and barely looking at the curly haired lad Aaron thought that was that.
“Alright, well come on in,” he breathed out, stepping aside and letting Robert inside.
Robert bit his lip as he nodded and shuffled past the two, letting out a deep breath and trying desperately to relax, this was just dinner after all. But then Robert thought that no, this wasn’t just dinner. This was dinner with his ex-boyfriend and son that he never really met before this, and said son doesn’t seem to want anything to do with him.
“So uhm, are you thirsty Robert? Is there anything I can get you?” Aaron asked as he tried to pry Holden’s arms off from around his leg.
Robert opened his mouth, just about to ask for a beer to calm his nerves before he thought better of it. “Water please, thank you,” he said quietly, shifting his gaze back to Holden and seeing him still hiding behind Aaron.
Aaron nodded before looking down to his son and letting out a small breath. “Buddy stop it,” he said, gently having him move out from behind him. “I’m gonna get Robert some water can you be polite and maybe show him some of your toys?”
Holden bit his lip as he looked up to the curly haired lad again but he couldn’t even say anything before he saw his daddy walk away.
Robert watched shocked as Aaron walked away, not expecting for the older lad to just leave him alone like this, but then again maybe this was some kind of test and already he was failing miserably. He had no idea what to say to Holden, and that broke his heart because this is his son in front of him, the toddler looking just as lost as he was.
“Uhm… Do you like Spiderman?” Holden asked quietly, trying to be nice like his daddy told him.
“Yeah I do,” Robert said, offering the 3 year old a small smile. “I’m sure your daddy showed you all the movies huh?” he asked, not even able to remember how many times the older lad forced him to watch the films when they were dating.
Holden nodded quickly as he smiled to himself. “Yeah! Now no tell daddy but I think he like Spiderman too much,” he whispered. “I like Spiderman but daddy…” Holden trailed off as he shook his head.
Robert couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he knelt down to the toddler’s height. “You don’t have to tell me big guy. Trust me, I know he’s a little crazy, but don’t tell him I said that,” he said, putting a finger over his mouth like it was their little secret.
Holden giggled to himself as he nodded at Robert, telling him it would be their secret.
“So do you have a favorite Spiderman toy then?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows.
“Of course,” Holden said as if that was a stupid question. “Here, it in my room, I show you!” he said before reaching for Robert’s shirt and tugging on him.
“R wait.”
“What?” both Robert and Holden said at the same time, turning to Aaron.
“U-uhm, I meant Holden,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip and looked between the two. “Buddy can you uhm... Dinner’s ready, so let’s eat,” he managed out, gesturing towards the dining room.
Robert watched as Holden nodded and scurried off to the dining room before focusing his gaze back on Aaron and raising his eyebrows at him.
“Well, come on,” Aaron said quietly, clearing his throat as he led the younger lad towards the dining room.
Robert almost wanted to ask him about the nickname but instead didn’t bother, just followed Aaron to the table. And as he took a seat he saw Holden waiting for his daddy to finish putting food on their plates.
“Daddy I need it cut,” Holden said as his father put a plate in front of him.
“I know buddy, give me two minutes alright?” Aaron said, trying to get food for himself and Robert.
Robert looked between the two before focusing on the toddler. “I can cut it if you want?” he offered as he bit his lip.
Robert watched as Holden shrugged and passed him his plate, so Robert took it and began cutting up the food, making sure it was small enough for him to eat. And the entire time he could feel Aaron’s eyes on him, but he figured that he better get used to the older lad constantly watching him.
“Here you are big guy,” Robert said as he offered the 3 year old a small smile and gave him his plate back.
“Thank you!” Holden said happily before picking up his fork and digging into his food.
Robert couldn’t help but let his smile widen, Holden seeming to be warming up to him a bit and that definitely calmed his nerves some. And once Aaron placed a plate in front of him he said his own thank you’s before picking up his own fork to eat.
Robert almost forgot how nice it was to have a real home cooked meal, most of his own meals coming from take out, whatever the studio had ordered, or the special at the pub that night.
“This is really great Aaron, thank you,” he said before taking another bite of his food, really missing the older lad’s dinners he would always come home to.
“Daddy the best cook,” Holden said before his father could say anything.
“Oh yeah?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows. “And what’s your favorite thing that daddy makes?”
Holden groaned, making his father laugh as they had talked about this last night. “I don’t know,” he huffed before taking another bite of his food. “My favorite mac and cheese and chicken soup. I also like chocolate milk.”
“Buddy I don’t make chocolate milk,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh.
“It still good,” Holden shrugged as he rolled his eyes.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the toddler before letting out his own chuckle and glancing over at Aaron. “Quite the attitude, wonder where he got that from.”
Aaron hummed as he chewed and shook his head, not really giving the younger lad an answer or saying anything on it.
Robert let out a quiet breath and nodded, not really expecting much from Aaron considering he hates him, but he still wanted to try and make it so the older lad at least didn’t mind the thought of them being near each other. Instead of focusing on Aaron though he turned his attention back to Holden, asking him questions about other things he likes and just trying to get to know him a little bit. And Robert was pleasantly surprised as the toddler talked and talked, going from one subject to the next, almost talking so much that Aaron had to remind him to eat a few times. But when he had taken a bite of food he would dive right back into what he was talking about.
Most of what he was talking about though was Aaron. “Me and daddy this” or “daddy and I that”, and it was obvious just how much Holden loved his father. He loved spending time with Aaron and it seemed as though he loved talking about him just as much he loved spending time with him. And Robert only hoped that one day Holden would talk about him like that, that one day they could have a real relationship where Holden relied on him for things or could come to him for anything.
“I go to daddy’s class and it my favorite thing because we play games and the kids are funny and-”
Holden stopped himself as he heard a cellphone ringing and Robert pulling it out of his pocket, taking his attention away from him.
“Do you need to get that? Is it management or something?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows.
“No, no, it’s fine,” Robert said ignoring the call and shoving his phone right back into his pocket.
“Seriously Robert, it’s fine if it’s work,” Aaron said as he took the last bite of food on his plate.
Robert shook his head, yes it being management, but they could wait. “No I’m here, no work tonight,” he said through a small smile.
“Where you work Robert?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows before taking another bite of food.
Robert looked over to the toddler, happily surprised he was actually interested. “Well I’m a singer so I work at a couple different places,” he said as he laughed to himself.
“You a singer?” Holden asked, almost looking confused.
“Buddy you know the people we hear on the radio?” Aaron asked and when Holden nodded he continued. “Well Robert is one of those people. He writes songs and they get played on the radio.”
Holden’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as he nodded, now understanding. “You know the song I gonna fin anofer you?”
Aaron cleared his throat slightly as he wiped his napkin over his mouth as Robert looked at him a little confused. “I’m gonna find another you,” he said, quietly translating what his son was trying to say.
Robert felt himself still as he looked at the older lad, but then slowly shifted his gaze to Holden. “Uhm yeah I do…”
“That my favorite song,” Holden stated as he nodded to himself.
“You know…” Aaron started off, shifting in his seat and looking over to Robert. “Robert wrote that song, didn’t you?” he asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Robert swallowed thickly but nodded anyway as he saw Holden looking at him wide eyed. “Yeah that’s one of my songs,” he said quietly. “And that’s your favorite?”
“I love it!!” Holden said excitedly. “It so pretty, I even know all the words.”
Robert offered him a small grin but he could still feel Aaron’s eyes on him, both of them knowing that song was about them, it was impossible to deny that. And of course that song out of any others had to be Holden’s favorite.
“I’m so happy you like one of my songs buddy, that means a lot,” he said softly.
Holden smiled at the older man before taking his last bite of food and hopping out of his booster seat. “Robert you done? I want to show you my toys.”
“Yeah, I’m done buddy but I think I’m gonna help your daddy clean all this up if that’s okay.”
“No Robert you go,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “R why don’t you give him the full tour?” he asked, looking to Holden.
“Okay!” Holden said happily before tapping Robert on the shoulder, wanting him to come. (A/N Aaron’s House)
Robert glanced up at Aaron as he began clearing off the table, but all the older lad did was nod at Holden, urging him to go. “Alright buddy, lead the way,” he said as he stood up, immediately feeling the 3 year old’s little hand wrap around two of his fingers and tug on him.
When Aaron told Holden to give him a full tour Robert didn’t think the toddler would actually show him every room and explain what that room was used for. He even dragged him into the kitchen and explained that’s where all their food comes from and Robert couldn’t help but laugh at Aaron’s fond eye roll as he washed up.
Holden kept his hand tight around Robert’s fingers pulling him into one room and then the next, talking happily and nearly jumping at how excited he was.
He was beyond happy that Holden had grown more comfortable with him over the course of the night, really taking a huge load off his shoulders as at least his own son didn’t hate him. And he loved smiling and laughing as the toddler pulled his hand one way and then the next, trying to show him every little thing he could in the house.
But when they made their way upstairs Robert could feel Holden tugging on his fingers, urging him to continue their walk through the home, something caught his eye, making him stop in his tracks.
It was a wall covered with different pictures. Pictures of Holden and Aaron, Pete and Ross. And they were moments that Robert had missed over the years. They were memories with Holden that Robert could never have and just at the sight of the wall he felt his throat getting tight. But as he felt his son tugging on his fingers again, whining “come on Robert”, he vowed he wouldn’t miss another moment.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Robert said through a small laugh as he let the toddler lead him towards what he assumed to be Holden’s room.
Holden released Robert’s fingers and pushed open the door, immediately running into his room and getting his favorite toy. “Spiderman!!” he said, running back to the curly haired lad and shoving it in his hand.
Robert smiled to himself as he walked into the room and looked down at the action figure in his hand. He took a seat by the bed on the floor, resting his back against it as he watched the 3 year old running one way and then another, picking up toys and passing them to Robert.
“You better not make a mess, your father will have my head,” Robert said through a chuckle as Holden built up a pile of toys in front of him.
“Well you get in trouble, not me,” Holden said as he laughed to himself and took a seat next to Robert, picking up one of his toys and playing with it.
Robert felt his jaw go slack as he heard the toddler and poked him in his side, making him giggle. “Are you trying to get me in trouble? Is that it?” he asked jokingly.
Holden shrugged as he looked down at his toys and picked up another one, not expecting a poke to his side again.
“Are you ticklish?” Robert asked amusedly as he kept poking the toddler’s side and Holden tried to push his hand away.
Holden quickly shook his head, trying to keep in his laughter as Robert began tickling more and more.
“Oh no? You’re not?” Robert asked through a quiet chuckle as Holden was nearly falling into his lap as both his hands tickled the toddler’s sides.
“N-n-no!!” Holden said with a Loud laugh as he squeezed his eyes shut and desperately tried to push Robert’s hands away.
Robert let up on his tickle attack as Holden was sprawled out over his lap and breathing heavily, trying to calm down. “What happened? You okay?” he asked teasingly.
“Bad Robert,” Holden said, lightly hitting the older man’s chest as he laid in his lap.
Robert laughed to himself as he saw that Holden wasn’t upset at all, instead trying to bite back a smile. As the 3 year old laid in his lap he took his features, the toddler really being a mixture of him and Aaron. He had his bright green eyes, the same hair color as him, the same dimples and nose. But everything else was Aaron. His feathery hair and sharp jaw, but what was really evident he was Aaron’s son was his personality.
“Rob!!!” Holden said suddenly.
Robert almost jumped where he was sitting from how Loud Holden just screamed and felt the toddler scramble off his lap.
“Robert this is Rob! He my cat!” Holden said, rushing towards the grey and white fluffy cat and picking him up.
“Hey, careful buddy,” Robert said worriedly, not wanting him to get scratched. “Are you able to hold him like that?”
“Of course! Rob love me!!” Holden said, squeezing the cat and kissing it all over it’s little head.
Robert almost wanted to laugh at the cat in Holden’s arms, Rob just letting the 3 year old do as he pleases and not making any complaints.
Aaron had come up to join them once he finished the kitchen and the three spent an hour just playing in Holden’s room, mostly Aaron watching the two and just seeing how they were interacting.
But an hour later and completely disheveled room later Aaron announced it was bedtime and Robert stayed out of the way for that, not wanting to mess up any routine they had.
“Hey buddy, I just wanna say goodnight,” Robert said once he saw Holden in his pajamas and knelt down to his height “I had a super fun time with you tonight,” he said, offering the toddler a small smile.
“Robert when you come play again?” Holden asked before placing his thumb in his mouth.
“Whenever you and daddy want me over give me a call,” Robert said happily before pulling the toddler’s thumb out of his mouth, watching Aaron do that all night.
As Aaron looked down at the two he wasn’t all that surprised by how quickly Holden had taken to Robert. His son took quickly to anyone who played with him but it was clear just how much Holden liked him. If anything it was a relief to Aaron that Holden liked Robert, but at the same time he couldn’t help but worry that his son might get attached only for Robert to leave again.
“C’mon buddy, say goodnight to Robert,” he said, wanting to actually have time to talk to the younger lad alone and lay down some rules.
“Night night Robert,” Holden said before wrapping his arms around the curly haired lad’s neck and hugging him.
Robert was a bit taken back as he felt little arms wrap around him, but it was impossible to stop the wide smile that came to him as he pulled his son into his chest. “Good night buddy, I’ll see you soon,” he said softly, giving the 3 year old one more squeeze before letting him go.
“Meet you in the living room,” Aaron said quietly after he told Holden to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
Robert nodded and offered the older lad a tight lined smile before making his way downstairs and to the living room.
He was only waiting for a few minutes, wasting his time by petting Rob before Aaron came down stairs and joined him on the couch.
“So tonight was good,” Aaron said as he combed his fingers through his hair.
“Yeah it was,” Robert said through a soft smile. “I really can’t thank you enough for letting me come over and everything.”
Aaron nodded as he bit his lip and kept his eyes focused on his hands in his lap. “I’m not going to tell him you’re his father… Not until I know you’re serious about sticking around.”
“That’s reasonable,” Robert said quietly, knowing Aaron just didn’t want Holden to get hurt. “But Aaron I swear, I’m not going anywhere… I’m gonna be here for as long as you’ll have me.”
“And I only want you with him if I’m there,” Aaron said, wanting to just get all of this out of the way. “Like you can be in the same room as him without me, but I want to be close by.”
Robert nodded, figuring Aaron didn’t even want to hear what he had to say but just tell him his rules. “Whatever you want. I have no problems with any of that.”
“Good,” Aaron breathed out.
Robert looked at the older lad and it was clear how much he didn’t trust him, how hurt Aaron was by everything that happened to him. And Robert wished he could do anything to change that. He wished he could go back to that day all those years ago and hit himself for being so stupid, for leaving the only person he’s ever really loved.
“Well it’s getting late, and I’m sure you have something or someone you’d rather do than be here,” Aaron said quietly, refusing to look at the younger lad.
“Aaron…” Robert barely said as he shook his head.
“It’s whatever Robert, you can go out. Have fun at the bars, pick someone up and-”
“Aaron,” Robert said firmly, wanting him to stop. “Please don’t do this,” he said quietly. “Yeah, alright, maybe I drink a little too much but I haven’t slept with anyone since you and I broke up so please just stop,” Robert nearly begged, hating the way Aaron thought of him like that.
Aaron snapped his head up, looking at the younger lad with wide eyes. “You what…?”
Robert shook his head as he stood up from the couch, not wanting to talk about this right now. “You were the last person I slept with so please stop making me sound like some kind of slut.”
“B-but… Why?” Aaron barely whispered, knowing Robert could get anyone he wanted.
Robert bit his lip as he felt ters pool in his eyes. “Because I… I loved you,” he said just Loud enough for the older lad to hear. “You may have hurt me when I thought all that stuff was going on with you and Pete and I loved the idea of hating you but I don’t, not even a little bit or at all… I just… I never stopped loving you…”
Aaron felt his throat tighten as he heard the younger lad, his body refusing to move as he looked up at him.
“Thank you for having me over again,” Robert said quietly before wiping away the stray tear that fell onto his cheek and rushing towards the door.
Aaron watched as Robert left, his own eyes pooling with tears at what Robert had said. And if Aaron wasn’t confused and lost before he sure as hell was now.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Alright so there's a lot in this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it !! Of course if you have questions or are confused please ask, I really don't mind. You can ask on here or my tumblr and on my tumblr is where I'll post sneak peeks. Those will be posted a few days before the chapter update. Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !!
Chapter 5
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So how was it then?” Ross asked after he took a bite of his lunch. “Robert coming over and everything? Was it alright?”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he pushed his leftover chicken around in it’s container and shrugged. “It was fine. Him and Holden got on real quickly which is good I guess.”
“But?” Ross asked with raised eyebrows.
“I dunno, I just…” Aaron shook his head as he pushed his food away, not even hungry. “I keep asking myself what I’m doing, like what my plan is when it comes to Robert.”
“What do you mean?” Ross asked confused.
“I keep thinking about everything he’s said to me,” Aaron said quietly as he shook his head. “Like if he knew he wouldn’t have gone on tour… If Pete gave me his real email he would’ve come back without a second thought and even now he’s acting like he did all those years ago when we were together, saying he would drop everything just to be there for me and Holden.”
Ross let out a quiet breath before taking another bite of his sandwich and looking over to the older lad, not quite sure what to say.
“I just… I don’t know how to feel and it’s making my head hurt,” Aaron groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face. “There’s Robert and Pete and Holden and I can’t do any of this.”
“Do you think if you told Robert all those years ago about Holden you guys would still be together? Like be a couple or a family or whatever?” Ross asked with his mouth full.
Aaron let out a small breath as he slumped in his seat, not even needing to think about it before nodding. “You know what he said before he left on Saturday?”
“What?” Ross asked as he chewed.
“That he hasn’t slept with anyone else since we broke up… That he never stopped loving me,” Aaron said quietly, those words replaying over and over again in his head.
At that Ross swallowed thickly and looked to his best mate with raised eyebrows. “Are you… Do you want to go back to him? Is that what this is? Why you’re so confused?”
“What? Of course not,” Aaron said as he shook his head and forked a piece of his chicken. “It’s just he’s back in my life now, and there’s Holden so he’s gonna be around and I don’t know what to do… Especially with him being all… I dunno, him.”
“Mate,” Ross breathed out as he shook his head. “I know you never got over him, and now with him back you’re acting like-”
“He left me Ross,” Aaron said as he bit his lip. “He hurt me and said terrible things to me, and who says he’s not gonna do that all over again?” he asked with a touch of anger in his voice.
Ross just looked at his best mate for a second before glancing down at his food. “You know he only left because he thought you were cheating on him… You never actually told him about the baby.”
Aaron released a deep breath as he shook his head. “Things were complicated back then…”
“I know they were mate, I’m just saying it seems like things aren’t really done between you two.”
Aaron opened his mouth to protest but just as he was about to he saw the teacher’s Aaronnge door swing open, only to reveal a familiar blonde.
“Uh R-hey,” Adam said as he offered the older lad a nervous smile. “Can I uhm, can I join you guys?”
“Yeah, of course mate,” Aaron said, gesturing to the open seat beside Ross.
Adam nodded gratefully and pulled the chair out beside the raven haired man and getting his lunch out. “Hey, m’Adam,” he said, introducing himself.
“Good to meet ya mate, I'm Ross, ” he said through a small smile before taking a sip of his drink. “Do you two know each other?” Ross asked, looking between the Irish lad and Aaron as it seemed like they did.
“Uhm yeah,” Aaron said, clearing his throat slightly. “Adam is actually Robert’s best mate, we met in uni when he and I started dating.”
“Really?” Ross asked with raised eyebrows. “Must be fun to have a popstar as a best mate,” he said through a quiet laugh, getting a nudge from Aaron’s foot under the table.
But what Aaron had noticed was how Adam’s smile almost vanished completely.
“Well uh, it can have it’s perks I guess,” Adam said through his best convincing laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. “But I dunno, Robert hasn’t really been the same since you two broke up.”
Aaron glanced up from his food as he took a bite and swallowed thickly. “How’s he changed?” he asked quietly.
Adam let out a small breath as he picked up his sandwich and shrugged. “He just… He tried to get over you in not the best way and sometimes it just gets to be too much.”
Aaron and Ross looked to each other, that worrying Aaron a bit since Robert was spending time with Holden. “Well what does he do? Not like drugs or anything right?” he asked a bit nervously.
“No, no,” Adam quickly shook his head before taking a bite of his food. “I’m sure you’ve seen the tabloids and everything… He just drinks a little too much sometimes,” he said quietly.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded slowly and looked down to his food. He knows he’s called Robert some names, one of them being an alcoholic but he didn’t actually think the younger lad had a problem with drinking.
“Don’t worry Aaron,” Adam said as he saw panic flash over the older lad’s face. “Since he found out about Holden he’s staying in and calming it down with the drinks. He’s really trying you know…”
Aaron hummed as he chewed his food, thinking that Robert should be trying after everything that’s happened between them.
“And you know after he had dinner at your place he wouldn’t shut up about it for hours,” Adam said through a small laugh. “I was sure Ed was a second away from smacking him just to make him shut up cause he kept goin on about you and Holden.”
“Really?” Aaron asked quietly.
Ross raised his eyebrows at his best mate as he saw the older lad a little flustered at what Adam said. “You know…” he started off, getting Aaron’s attention. “If you and Robert ever want to maybe go out, and catch up by yourselves I can always watch R,” Ross offered. “Cause I’m sure there are things you guys need to talk about… Or maybe clear up.”
Aaron clenched his jaw as he locked his eyes on Ross but felt Adam looking at him confused. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”
Ross put his hands up, not wanting the older lad to get all mad at him, it was just a suggestion. “Well if there’s anything I can do to help just gimme a call,” he said before packing up his lunch and standing up from his chair, needing to get ready for class. “Good to meet ya mate.”
“You too,” Adam said through a small smile, waving slightly at the dark haired man as he left. And when he turned back to Aaron he saw the older lad focused on his lunch. “So uhm when do you think you guys will have dinner again?” Adam asked before taking a bite of his food.
“I dunno, sometime later this week probably,” Aaron shrugged. “Holden’s been asking about him coming over to play so…”
“Rob will be happy to hear that,” Adam said with a soft smile. “He really wants to be a part of his life… Both your lives really.”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, this still being so foreign to him. Robert just showing up after years and trying to be a part of Holden’s life, a part of his own life again. And Aaron only wondered how long it will take this time for things to go wrong.
*~*
Robert let out a deep breath and shuffled on his feet as he waited for the door to be answered. And thankfully he didn’t have to wait too long before it swung open, only to reveal a wide smiling Holden.
“Robert!!” the 3 year old squealed before lunging at the curly haired lad.
Robert immediately opened his arms, a warm smile stretching across his face as he caught the toddler. “My big guy, I missed you,” he said, pulling Holden into his chest. “But what did daddy say about answering the door?” Robert asked, raising his eyebrows at him.
"Daddy say it okay this time!" Holden said, trying to defend himself.
"Did he really or are you just trying to pull one over my head?" Robert asked through a quiet laugh before carrying the toddler inside and adjusting him on his hip.
"Daddy!!" Holden yelled. "Robert call me a liar!" he said, scowling at the curly haired man and crossing his arms over his chest.
Robert felt his jaw go slack as he laughed to himself and looked to the 3 year old in his arms. “You little tattle tale, I’m gonna get you for that,” he said in fake seriousness.
“What you gon do? Hug me to death?” Holden said challengingly through a small smirk.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the toddler but it was only a second later he pulled Holden impossibly closer to his chest and began to mercilessly tickle the 3 year old.
“R-R-Robert!!” Holden shrieked as he tried to push the older man’s hand away.
“What?” Robert asked as he chuckled to himself and continued his tickle attack. “Why are you squirming? What’s wrong?” he asked teasingly, not letting up as the toddler was twisting and wiggling in his arms, letting out barking laughs.
“What are you doing to my son?”
Robert snapped his head up as he heard Aaron and watched as the older lad came up to him and reached for Holden, rescuing him from the never-ending tickling. “Uhm hey,” he said, as he saw Aaron adjusting a heavily breathing and giggling Holden in his arms. “Were you uh, were you grading or something?” Robert asked, noticing the blue eyed lad’s glasses and he only ever wore those if he was reading.
“Oh uhm no,” Aaron said, pulling his glasses off and shoving them in his pocket. “I was just going through a few scripts… Trying to pick one out for this year's musical.”
Robert hummed as he nodded to himself. “So uh, thanks for inviting me over again,” he said through a small smile, this being the third time he’s been over this week and it was only Thursday. In the past month this has to be the most he’s come over to the older lad’s house in a single week, and it was definitely something Robert wanted to keep up.
“Well I had to just to shut this one up,” Aaron said jokingly as he looked down at his son and gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “I’m more surprised you’ve been able to make it.”
“I want to be here with you guys,” Robert said quietly as he shrugged to himself.
“No work?” Aaron asked surprised, before setting down a squirming Holden, him starting to get bored.
“Uhm…” Robert said slowly as he scratched the back of his neck. “Well of course there is, but I uh, I just canceled my meetings, it’s not a big deal,” he said, not even wanting to get into how annoyed his management has been getting with him as Robert’s barely been around for the past month.
“Robert you can just say you can’t come, it’s fine,” Aaron said as he crossed his arms over his chest and bit his lip.
Robert shook his head, it not being fine at all. He hasn’t been there for 4 years, and now that he has the opportunity to be around he isn’t going to give it up. “I’ll reschedule for during the day, it’s really no problem.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he nodded and shifted his weight on his feet. “Well you came on a good night cause it’s Thursday and that means-”
“Pizza night!!” Holden cheered from his spot on the floor where he was playing with his toys.
Robert looked over to the 3 year old and smiled at him before making his way to where he was sitting with his toys and laying down on the floor next to him. “And what kind of pizza do you like?” he asked, picking up one of Holden’s action figures and making it do flips in the air.
“Veggie pizza,” Holden said as he took the toy Robert was playing with because he wanted it before handing him a different one. “Daddy like pepper on his.”
“Pepperoni big guy,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he glanced up at the older lad, only to see his eyes already on him. “I mean you uh, you still like that, don’t you?”
Aaron nodded as he bit his lip and headed towards the couch to sit. “And you still like veggie?” he asked with raised eyebrows, looking between the two on the floor.
Robert hummed, a small smile coming to him as he looked at Holden, loving how they both liked the same kind of pizza. Well that and the fact that Aaron had remembered what he liked as well. “What do you guys do on pizza night? Anything fun?”
“We watch movie and daddy give me soda and popcorn!” Holden said as he bounced excitedly and crawled closer to Robert, wanting to play with the action figure he had.
“Oh yeah?” Robert asked as he raised his eyebrows at Aaron. “Do you sleep at night?” he asked Holden teasingly.
“It’s like not even half a cup of soda and only a small bowl of popcorn, he’s fine,” Aaron waved off as he rolled his eyes and tried to hold back a small laugh.
“Yeah Robert I fine,” Holden said as he narrowed his eyes at the older man, not wanting to get his treats taken away.
Robert put his hands up in defeat as Holden crawled on him, only to take a seat on his stomach. “Alright geez, no need to attack,” he said jokingly before poking the toddler’s tummy.
“Robert are you stay over for movie?” Holden asked as he bounced on the curly haired lad and played with his toys on his chest.
Robert bit his lip as he shifted his eyes from the toddler sitting on him to Aaron, silently asking him if it was okay. And when the older lad gave him a small nod Robert couldn’t help the soft grin that came to him. “Yeah buddy, I’d love to stay for a movie,” he said, trying to get Holden to stay still on him as he was wiggling all over the place.
“Yay!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping on Robert and knocking the wind out of him. “I pick out movie!! It a surprise!!”
Aaron muffled a laugh into his hand as he saw the younger lad trying to catch his breath after his son jumped on him. It was still a bit odd for Aaron to see the two of them together. To see Robert again after all these years and playing with Holden, being there for him, because Aaron never thought he would be. He never thought Robert Sugden would come back into his life.
“I’m happy you’re so excited buddy but maybe we can try not killing me,” Robert said through an airy laugh as Holden kept jumping on him and he picked the toddler up and off him.
“Oh you fine,” Holden said as he rolled his eyes and pat Robert’s curly hair. “Just like Rob,” he whispered, burying his hand in the older man’s hair.
Robert sat there still for a moment as he felt the 3 year old brushing his fingers through his hair, but then something hit him. “Did you just compare my hair to your cat…?”
“Yeah,” Holden said like that was a stupid question. “So fluffy,” he said quietly, keeping his hand in Robert’s hair.
Robert couldn’t help the Loud laugh that escaped him as he reached for Holden and surprised the toddler by picking him up and over his head. “Alright you little weirdo, enough of that,” he said, making the 3 year old giggle. “Not the only Dingle who likes the curly hair huh?” Robert barely whispered as he settled Holden on his chest and stole a small glance at Aaron, only to see the older lad looking at him wide eyed.
He didn’t actually think Aaron had heard him, but it was very clear he had as it wasn’t even a second later he pushed himself off the couch and walked out of the room.
Robert bit his lip as he watched the older lad walk away, thinking maybe he shouldn’t be saying stuff like that. But it was true, when he and Aaron were dating he always did have a thing for his short curls, there was no denying that.
15 minutes later though Aaron still hadn’t come back into the room, and Robert figured he really shouldn’t be saying things like that. He didn’t know if it upset Aaron, talking about the past, about the time when they were together or what. But all Robert knew was that he didn’t want the older lad upset or mad at him.
And it was only when the doorbell rang did Aaron come back into the room, but Robert was quick to beat him to the door, wanting to pay for the pizza.
There was some protesting from the older lad and shock from the pizza delivery boy as he saw Robert Sugden in front of him. But eventually Robert managed to pay for the food, sign a receipt for the food delivery guy and get inside before Holden had a meltdown about waiting too long and being hungry.
“R you need to relax alright,” Aaron breathed out as his son kept complaining that he wasn’t moving fast enough. “You keep this up and no movie,” he warned as he raised his eyebrows at the toddler.
“Daddy,” Holden groaned as he slumped in his seat, his father taking way too long to cut up his food.
Aaron let out a deep breath, trying to organize everything on the table as Holden kept whining.
“Alright big guy, c’mon,” Robert said softly as he could see Aaron getting more and more frustrated. “We don’t want daddy upset right?” he asked as he took Holden’s plate and began cutting up his food.
“No,” Holden mumbled.
“Okay, so let’s listen to him and be good, yeah?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows before giving the toddler his plate back.
Holden bit his lip and nodded before looking down to his cut up pizza and picking up his fork.
Robert smiled down at him just as Aaron placed a plate in front of him, and if possible his smile grew as he saw the older lad mouth a subtle “thank you”.
And as they ate Robert couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Holden got out of his little mood quickly and as usual began talking both their ears off about everything and nothing.
By the time they were all done eating though the three boys were more than ready to just sit on the couch and relax. So as Aaron cleared the table with Robert’s help Holden ran off to find a movie, not forgetting to remind the both of them that he wanted his treats.
“Demanding little boy huh?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh as he dried a cup Aaron passed him.
“You have no idea,” Aaron muttered, his own smile creeping onto his lips. “Sometimes it’s a bit much though… Ya know, he’s a toddler and tantrums can happen any second.”
“I’m guessing tonight wasn’t even the half of it,” Robert said, thinking of Holden’s small whining session at the table.
Aaron scoffed as he shook his head. “Tonight was nothing,” he said, almost laughing at the thought of his son complaining being a tantrum. “You did good though…” Aaron said quietly. “It’s weird seeing you like… Well I dunno, a parent.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded and glanced over to the older lad. “I’m still trying to get used to seeing you as a parent,” he said, taking the wet plate Aaron was passing him. “I just think back to the days when it was me and you, ya know?”
Aaron felt himself still as he heard Robert and could feel the younger lad’s eyes on him. Especially with Robert back in his life now it was impossible not to think back to all those years ago when it was just them. When there were late nights, gentle touches and soft kisses. Now more than ever those thoughts took over Aaron’s mind.
“Daddy!!”
Aaron jumped at the sudden yell, him accidentally dropping the plate in his hands and making it clatter into the sink.
“Whoa, you alright?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh, reaching for the older lad’s arm to steady him.
“Fine, m’fine,” Aaron rushed out as he swallowed thickly and pulled his arm away from Robert’s touch. “U-uhm R what do you need?”
“Daddy, Robert hurry!! I want to watch movie!” Holden called out.
Aaron let out a few deep breaths, trying to clear his racing thoughts as he wiped his hands on a dishtowel.
“Hey,” Robert said softly, stopping the older lad as he was about to walk away. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Aaron hummed, not even looking at Robert as he kept his eyes on the ground and shuffled out of the kitchen. “What movie did you pick out buddy?”
“Into the Woods!!” Holden said excitedly as he hopped onto the couch and grabbed his blanket.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly, of course his son just had to pick the longest movie they own. “Alright big guy, you get settled and I’ll get your snacks,” he said, earning a very Loud cheer from the toddler.
By the time Aaron actually had their snacks together, the lights were off and the movie was finally in the DVD player Holden was close to having a meltdown but thankfully Robert managed to distract the 3 year old while they waited for Aaron.
“Finally!” Holden said dramatically as he crawled off of Robert’s lap and over to his daddy to get his snacks from him.
“Oh yeah, sure buddy, you’re welcome,” Aaron said teasingly as he pulled the toddler into his side and the opening credits began to roll.
“Thank you daddy,” Holden said, offering his father a wide smile before kissing his cheek.
Aaron hummed to himself as he grinned down at his son and kissing his feathery hair. He was happy Holden finally calmed down now that he had his popcorn and soda, and that he himself could relax.
“Robert,” Holden whispered, wanting the older man’s attention. “Come here,” he said, patting the seat next to him.
Robert bit his lip from the other side of the couch as he looked over at the two. His eyes caught Aaron’s, but the older lad didn’t do anything besides look right back at him for a second before turning back to the tv. So Robert let out a quiet breath before slowly shuffling closer to the two, trying to keep a little distance between him and Aaron’s arm, not quite sure how the older felt about them being so close.
And if Aaron was uncomfortable he didn’t say anything the entire movie. The older lad kept his arm around Holden, their hands brushing occasionally as they reached for a handful of popcorn, but just that was enough to remind Robert how nervous he used to get around Aaron.
He tried to take his mind off it though, tried to not get stuck on the thought that he was sitting with his ex-boyfriend and son, just watching a movie while Rob the fluffy cat purred in his lap. It felt so domestic and Robert never would’ve thought in a million years that he’d end up here.
And by the end of the movie Holden was sleeping against his arm, his tiny bowl of popcorn gone and soda finished as quiet snores escaped the toddler.
Robert watched as Aaron carried him upstairs, keeping his place on the couch, knowing the older lad probably wanted to talk to him like he alway does after he puts Holden down about how the night went. But while he was doing that Robert knew he owed a few people some explanations and phone calls.
“Hello?”
“Hey mate,” Robert breathed into the phone. “Listen I’m really sorry about tonight, I just-”
“No, I get it R, it’s whatever,” Ed interrupted him. “Instead of just canceling though can you reschedule with me? Like this is important. I get you have Holden and everything, and whatever you’re doing with Aaron but this is both our careers here.”
“I know, I know and that’s why I’m calling,” Robert said as he looked down to the cat in his lap and scratched between its ears. “How’s Monday afternoon? Come over to mine and we’ll talk about writing and maybe get some stuff recorded.”
Ed let out a deep breath into the phone as he ran a hand over his face. “Alright, yeah fine,” he said quietly. “And don’t forget to call management, the more you ignore them the pissier they’re getting.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna call them right after-” Robert stopped himself as he heard crying from upstairs, no doubt in his mind it was Holden. “Uhm right after I’m off with you, but I actually have to go. I’ll text you later.”
Ed didn’t even get the chance to say his goodbyes before Robert hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. And just as he stood up from the couch to head upstairs to see what was wrong he saw Aaron coming back down with a crying Holden in his arms.
“See it’s alright buddy, he didn’t go anywhere,” Aaron said softly as he rocked his son on his hip.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older lad and saw him passing Holden to him. “What’s wrong big guy huh? What happened?” he asked, wiping the toddler’s wet cheeks and settling him on his hip.
Holden didn’t say anything but wrap his arms around Robert and bury his head into his neck as he sniffled to himself.
Robert looked down at the toddler, growing more and more confused as Holden was nearly clinging to him. “C’mon buddy I don’t like seeing you upset, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, rubbing the 3 year old’s back.
“M-me think you g-go bye bye,” Holden cried into his neck, wrapping his arms tighter around the older man.
Robert had no clue where this was coming from as he kept his eyes on Holden, trying to wipe his wet eyes and calm him down.
“He just thought you left without saying goodnight to him, that’s it,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip and looked at the two. “R c’mon big guy, I know you’re tired and that’s why you’re crying. Let’s get you to bed and have you calm down a bit,” he said softly as he walked towards them and began rubbing his son’s back.
Robert let out a small breath as Holden kept crying and felt the toddler’s tears on his neck but when he glanced at Aaron he saw the older lad nod towards the stairs, silently asking for Robert to follow him.
He shushed Holden, hating that he was crying just because he thought he left as he followed Aaron up the stairs and to the 3 year old’s bedroom. And once they were inside Robert immediately made his way towards Holden’s bed, gently placing him on the mattress, grateful that he was calming down.
“There we go buddy, it’s alright,” Robert said quietly as Holden sniffled to himself and he tucked the toddler under his covers. “You okay?”
Holden wiped his wet eyes with his little hand as he nodded. “W-want you to say night night,” he hiccuped out.
Robert had to almost bite back a smile as he heard that. He said goodnight to Holden every time he comes over but he didn’t know it meant this much to the toddler. “Of course I was gonna come up here and say goodnight to you, I just had to make a few calls first, it’s okay.”
Holden nodded again as he sat up and wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck. “Goodnight Robert,” he said quietly.
“Goodnight buddy, I’ll see you real soon, alright?” Robert said, hugging the toddler back tightly and kissing his feathery hair.
Aaron shifted his weight on his feet and bit his lip as he watched the two, noticing how attached Holden already was to Robert after a mere month, and that scared him more than anything. But when Robert gave one more kiss to the toddler and let him go Aaron said his own goodnight's, showering his son in kisses and making him giggle. And once Holden kissed him back and said goodnight to his daddy Aaron led Robert out of the room and to the living room couch to talk.
“Tonight was really fun, I-”
“There’s something you need to understand,” Aaron said, cutting off the younger lad. “I don’t care what you do to me. I don’t care if you leave me, or don’t talk to me but if you even think about hurting my son, so help me God-”
“Aaron what are you talking about?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “When are you going to realize I’m not going anywhere…? I mean if you were willing to just once sit down and have an actual conversation with me you’d understand that.”
Aaron shook his head as he let out a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. “Just don’t hurt him.”
“I wouldn’t hurt him Aaron…” Robert said softly, noticing how the older lad refused to look at him. “I don’t want to hurt either of you.”
“There are a lot of things we don’t want Robert,” Aaron said quietly, keeping his eyes on the ground. “And yet somehow we can not want these things and they still happen...”
Robert let the sudden silence and heaviness in the room overcome him. He sat there, taking in the older lad’s words and letting them sink into him like daggers as he thought back to the day he would do anything to change.
“It’s uhm, it’s getting late, I think you should go,” Aaron breathed out as he scratched the back of his neck.
“Well no, I mean it’s not that late…” Robert said as he bit the lip. “Can we please just talk?”
Aaron shook his head, already pushing himself off the couch. “I have class in the morning and still have papers to grade.”
“Aaron c’mon we haven’t been alone for more than 10 minutes, can we just-”
“I said I can’t,” Aaron interrupted him, shaking his head again. “I’ll text you when you can come over again.”
Robert opened his mouth to protest, wanting to sit and talk now, but as he saw how Aaron was looking at him he knew that was the last thing the older lad wanted.
So Aaron watched as Robert got up from the couch and the curly haired lad let out a small breath before pulling his coat on and turning back to look at him.
“I uhm… I just wanted to let you know that even though you don’t really like having me around, spending time with you and Holden makes me happier than I’ve been in years,” he said quietly, biting his lip and looking down at his shoes, not able to meet the older lad’s eyes. “I haven’t really felt much of anything since we uh, you know broke up and I just, I dunno it’s nice having you back in my life, even if you don’t want me in yours…”
Aaron felt his breathing come up short as he kept his eyes locked on Robert, and he couldn’t even say anything before the younger lad turned to walk out the door. He didn’t know if he wanted to say anything or what to say, but just as Robert opened the front door Aaron found his voice.
“Robert wait!” he said, stopping the younger lad in his tracks.
Robert turned around, his head snapping up to look at the blue eyed lad as the door was already cracked open. He saw Aaron swallow thickly, looking as if he was internally battling with himself on what to say next.
“It’s not… I mean, it’s not that I don’t like having you around,” Aaron barely whispered as he bit his lip, that being the opposite of his problems. “It’s just hard seeing you after all these years and not think about…” he trailed off, shaking his head as even now those memories flooded his thoughts.
Robert let out a quiet breath as he shifted his gaze to his shoes and nodded, finding it near impossible himself to stop his mind from racing and playing over the times he and Aaron were together. He almost wanted to say that they could get those moments back. That they could start all over again, the two of them and Holden. But it was an impossible thought. Robert knew that Aaron didn’t want a life like that with him, and he didn’t blame the older lad.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Aaron muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s getting late and my head's all over the place, I-”
“I’m happy you said it,” Robert cut him off, closing the door so the October cold couldn’t come in and took a step closer to the older lad. “I know you’re scared Aaron…” he said, unable to miss the hitch in the blue eyed lad’s breath as the nickname escaped him. “And I kick myself in the arse every single fucking day for making you feel that way, for hurting you the way I did…”
“Robert…” Aaron managed to say, his words getting caught in his throat as he looked at the younger lad.
“Aaron, please,” Robert said quietly, his eyes pleading as he stepped even closer to him, the older lad not moving an inch. “After not having you for years, and then coming back here… Just please know that I don’t care what I have to do to keep you both in my life. I’ll go through the fires of hell just to make sure I never lose you again,” he said, offering the blue eyed lad a small grin, trying to make him laugh and take away the heaviness in the room.
Aaron ducked his head, trying desperately to bite back his smile as he heard the younger lad. Even after all these years he still couldn’t get over the sheer ridicuAaronsness that was Robert Sugden.
“I'm happy I can still make you do that,” Robert said softly, his own grin widening as he saw Aaron smiling.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he shuffled on his feet and finally looked up to meet the younger lad’s bright green eyes. “It’s not like I completely hate you…” he muttered.
“You don’t?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, not believing that.
“I said I don’t completely. Trust me, there’s still a good amount of hate there. Don’t get too excited,” Aaron said through a small laugh as he shook his head.
“I’ll take what I can get,” Robert said, a warm smile creeping onto his lips. “But uhm, you said you have papers to grade and I don’t wanna push my luck with you tonight, so I guess I’ll get going,” he said, gesturing towards the door.
Aaron hummed and nodded as he bit his lip, following Robert with his eyes as he walked towards the door. “Well bye,” he said quietly, raising his hand and slightly waving to the younger lad. “Tonight was uh, well I had a good time.”
“Me too,” Robert said, offering the older lad a soft smile as he opened the front door. “G’night Aaron," and with that and a wink sent to the blue eyed lad he made his way out of the house and to his car.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he watched the door close, his body refusing to move when a sudden realization washed over him. “Shit…” he breathed out, rubbing his hands over his face. “Shit not again,” Aaron groaned, walking over to the couch and throwing himself on it.
This couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t do this to himself, to his son. Robert left once and he could do it again. He’s only been around for a month, and so far things are going great but Aaron knows how fast things can change. He also knows how easily and how quickly he fell for Robert when they first met, and he couldn’t do that again, no matter how hard it seemed.
*~*
Robert ducked his head and shielded his face with his hand, trying to ignore the bright camera lights that blinded him. He figured that paps wouldn’t be allowed outside the record label, but with him being missing for nearly a month he also knew the media was getting more and more desperate to find him.
“Robert where’ve ya been?!”
“Finally pick someone up who wants to stick around with you?!”
“You drink yourself into a month long coma?!”
He ignored all of the screaming men, pushing past them and finally getting to the door, making his way inside the large building.
Robert let out a deep breath as he ran his fingers through the front of his curls, heading to the lift and trying to get to the meeting as quickly as possible. It was impossible not to think about the paps’ questions though. He knew the media portrayed him a certain way, and for years he didn’t care, but now it was different. Now he had Aaron and Holden in his life, and Robert didn’t want either of them to think or see him portrayed like that.
“Oh good, Robert you actually decided to show up.”
Robert looked up and saw one the of the record label’s top managers James looking at him with raised eyebrows as he sat in the conference room. “Listen I’m really sorry, but I do have an excuse,” he said softly, taking a seat at the table with the older man.
“It better be a damn good one. Do you have any idea how close Michael is to dropping you?” James asked seriously.
“You and I both know he won’t do that, don’t try to scare me,” Robert said as he shook his head, knowing that he could get any record label he wanted to sign him, and Michael wouldn’t give up his biggest act behind Ed. “But the reason I haven’t been around is because of uhm… Of Aaron,” he said quietly.
“You’re kidding me right…? That’s your excuse?” James asked, anger nearly seeping out of him. “The boyfriend who broke your heart years ago? That’s it? What did you two talk or some shit and now he’s back in your life? I mean seriously R, you can’t just run off for a month for some guy and-”
“James,” Robert said firmly, stopping the older man. “Listen… Aaron and I… We uhm, we have a son,” he barely whispered, making James freeze in his seat and Robert wasn’t even sure he was even breathing. “He’s 3 and I never knew about him up until last month… That’s why I’ve been gone, because I’m spending time with him and trying to get to know him and everything.”
James just looked at him wide eyed, himself at a loss of what to say as he listened to the curly haired lad. “Robert I’m… I’m so sorry,” he breathed out as he shook his head. “He didn’t tell you or anything? I mean why now?”
“It’s beyond complicated and if you want to go out for beers some time I’ll tell you, but I’m meeting with Ed soon,” Robert said as he brushed his fingers through his hair.
“Oh good, finally some work is getting done,” James said through a quiet laugh, making the curly haired lad roll his eyes. “But is there anything you want us to do media wise about you? Is there a story you want out about this or-”
“No,” Robert said quickly, shaking his head. “No paps, no articles, no nothing until I talk to Aaron,” he said sternly, getting a nod from the older man. “If you could though, I want to try to clear up my name up… You know the shit they write about me, and basically none of it’s true… I just want all that cleaned up, and if anything new comes out have a rep deny it quickly.”
“You got it kid,” James said, offering him a soft smile. “I’ll let Michael know and explain what you want and everything. But please, next time you decide to disappear at least pick up your phone once so we know you’re not dead,” he said jokingly.
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he got up from his seat. “Maybe,” he muttered, earning a playful glare from James. “But Ed and I are working on stuff today so I’ll text you later and let you know what we got done.”
“Alright, you boys just gonna be at your place?” James asked as he stood up from his own chair.
“Yeah,” Robert breathed out, pulling his phone out as he felt it vibrate and saw a text from Adam. “Oh uhm, can you also get security outside? The paps were givin me shit as I walked in, I don’t wanna deal with that again,” he said, keeping his eyes on his phone and texting out his reply. “And I just got a text from my mate reminding me that I’m supposed to talk to his music class, so I’m actually gonna take Ed over to the school and then we’ll go back to mine.”
“You want a bodyguard with you?” James asked as he looked at his own phone, sending a message to security to get rid of the paps.
“Nah we’ll be fine,” Robert shrugged, his phone vibrating in his hand again, this time being a text from Aaron.
James hummed, telling the younger lad he heard him before looking up from his phone. “What’re you smiling at?” he asked as he saw Robert staring at his phone and texting, smiling so wide his face must’ve hurt.
“Huh?” Robert said, not even hearing James as he looked up from his phone, only to see him smirking at him. “Oh uh, it’s Aaron, he sent me a video of Holden doing an improv exercise in class with some of his students,” he said, passing his phone to the older man. “Aaron said Holden likes the improv games so much that the days he has his students do them he brings him along instead of dropping him off at daycare,” Robert said, his grin only widening as he saw his son on the video with all the older kids.
“So cute,” James said quietly, his own smile appearing. “He looks like you.”
“I know,” Robert said as he bit his lip, trying to hide the grin that threatened to split his face if it grew anymore.
James looked over to Robert and shook his head as he laughed quietly to himself and handed his phone back to him. “Alright daddio, get out of here and get some work done.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he shoved his phone in his pocket. “I’ll keep you updated on what Ed and I get done,” and with that he waved goodbye to the older man, now needing to pick up Ed and go to the high school.
*~*
“I think that went well, don’t you?” Robert asked as he led Ed down the hall.
“M’not quite sure if the kids were actually listening though. Seemed like they were just staring at us in shock the entire time,” Ed said as he laughed to himself.
“Can ya blame them?” Robert asked through his own chuckle. “I mean when you were in high school how many famous people came to talk to your class?”
Ed hummed, not even able to imagine what those kids were thinking when they saw the two of them walk into the room. Of course they were shocked and a couple kids screamed, but he probably would’ve done the same thing when he was a kid.
“Where are we going? The exits over there,” he said confused, looking over to the younger lad.
“I wanna stop and talk to Aaron real quick,” Robert said through a small smile as he turned down the hall, making his way to the blue eyed lad’s room.
“You can’t just text him?” Ed asked, wanting to get to the younger lad’s flat and get some work done.
“Mate I’ll be fast, I promise.”
Ed let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself, actually a little excited to see Aaron after all these years. “Do you guys even text? Like regularly?”
“We started to recently,” Robert said happily. “I wanna say it was Thursday I was over there and I dunno, it was good and things kinda shifted that night,” he said through a soft grin. “So now we text throughout the day and everything, it’s nice.”
Ed looked over to the younger lad and couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh as he saw him. “You’re so obvious mate, it’s sad.”
Robert rolled his eyes as he shook his head and turned towards Aaron’s classroom door. He cracked it open a little, peeking inside, able to see the older lad at the front of his classroom with his glasses perched on his nose and a copy of some Shakespeare book in his hand as he read it to the class.
Robert smiled to himself as he saw Aaron in his element, this being what he does best. But instead of creeping by the door he pushed it open a bit more so he could walk in. “Knock knock,” he said quietly, the smile never leaving his face as he walked into the room.
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes immediately landing on Robert and a small grin making its way to his lips. But just as he was about to say his hello’s he saw his class looking at the curly haired lad wide eyed before nearly screaming about how he was there.
“Alright, alright!!” Aaron yelled, trying to get them to calm down. “Read where I left off by yourselves or I’ll ask Mr. Sugden to leave,” he threatened with raised eyebrows.
And just as fast as he said it did the entire class stop talking. But that was just before a certain ginger haired man came into the room from behind Robert, making them start screaming again.
“Aaron!! My God, look at you!” Ed said, rushing towards the younger lad and engulfing him in a hug. “You can grow a full beard now and you’re wearing button ups, what the hell?!”
Aaron let out a Loud laugh as he hugged Ed back, noticing his entire class looking at him beyond confused. “Life as a teacher, what can I say?” he said, pulling away from the older lad and rubbing a hand over his slight beard, having no time to shave the past couple days.
“You look good mate. If possible even more fit than you did all those years ago,” Ed said through a quiet chuckle as he clapped Aaron on the back.
“Hey, mate c’mon back off,” Robert said as he pulled Ed away from Aaron and side eyed him. “Can we uh, can we talk for a second?” he asked the blue eyed lad through a small smile.
“Yeah, of course,” Aaron said, grinning back at him before looking back to his class who was watching him, seeming more confused and excited by the second. “You guys read by yourselves where we left off, no talking,” he said seriously.
“Yeah, listen to your teacher,” Ed said, eyeing all the kids playfully and standing at the front of the class with his arms crossed over his chest like he was in charge. “No worries Aaron, I got’em.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he saw the older lad, his student’s not even looking at their books instead just staring at the ginger man. “C’mere,” he said quietly to Robert, nodding towards his desk.
Robert followed the older lad a few feet to his desk, noticing Holden fast asleep in Aaron’s chair. He smiled softly down at his son as Aaron took a seat on his desk, letting his feet dangle an inch off the ground.
“Tell me you interrupted my class for something important,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows.
“What? I can’t just stop in?” Robert asked through a small laugh as he took a step closer to the older lad.
“Don’t start with me Sugden,” Aaron said through a playful stern look.
Robert bit his lip, trying to hide his smile as he saw that Aaron wasn’t actually upset with him. “I actually wanted to talk to you about dinner tonight,” he said quietly as he shuffled on his feet.
“Oh okay, uhm sure,” Aaron said with furrowed eyebrows, noticing the younger lad coming closer to him, almost making it so he was standing between his legs.
“So Ed is coming over to mine so we can work on some stuff and by the time we’re done and the amount of time it takes me to drive to your place I think you guys will already be done with eating,” Robert said as he scratched the back of his neck, not meeting the older lad’s eye.
“Oh… Okay, I get it, it’s fine,” Aaron said quietly, his gaze shifting to the floor.
Robert looked to Aaron, almost growing confused as he sounded a bit disappointed. “W-well I was going to ask if you and Holden wanted to uhm, maybe you want to come over to mine tonight?” he asked, taking a careful step closer to the older lad.
Aaron bit the inside of his cheek as Robert was coming closer and closer to him, the younger lad’s hips nearly between his thighs. He brought up his hand, placing it on Robert’s waist before gently pushing back on him, needing him to back up.
“Yeah, we can definitely do that,” he said with a small smile. “Just text me an address, yeah?”
“Sure,” Robert said, his own grin creeping up on him. “And Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
Robert didn’t say anything, but Aaron saw how the younger lad looked at him, then down before meeting his eyes again. And Aaron only grew more confused as he saw Robert smirking at him, but then he noticed what he was doing.
“Sorry, sorry!” Aaron rushed out, pulling his hand away from the curly haired lad’s waist, his cheeks immediately heating up.
“M’not complaining,” Robert shrugged as he laughed to himself and took a small step away from the blue eyed lad, figuring he should let him get back to class. “I’ll text you later.”
Aaron swallowed thickly as he nodded and watched as Robert walked over to Holden who was sleeping in his chair, the younger lad kissing his hair gently before looking back at him and sending him a wink.
“C’mon mate, let’s go get some work done,” Robert said, clapping Ed on the back. “Listen to your teacher, be good!” he called out to the students as they made their way towards the door, sending Aaron a soft smile.
Aaron felt like he wasn’t breathing as he watched the two leave his classroom, Ed sending him one more wave before he closed the door behind him. And when he looked back to his student’s every single pair of eyes were on him.
“Well Mr. Dingle, I say you have some explaining to do,” one of his student’s, Leila said through a small smirk.
“Did anyone do the reading like I asked?” Aaron said as he got off his desk and unbuttoned one of the top buttons of his shirt, feeling like he desperately needed to breathe.
“We were too busy watching as Robert Sugden asked you out on a date and you shamelessly flirted with him,” Jason said, raising his eyebrows at his teacher.
“I was not flirting with him,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes. “And he didn’t ask me out on a date.”
“But you’re going over to his place for dinner,” another student, Aaron piped up. “How do you guys even know each other? And what was that with Ed Sheeran? Seriously Mr. Dingle how in the world do you-”
“Alright, alright!” Aaron said, needing all of them to stop bombarding him with questions. “Robert and I- no, I mean Mr. Sugden and I knew each other a long time ago before he became famous and when he did get famous we both met Mr. Sheeran and the rest is history,” he summed up as quickly and easily as possible. “No more questions, accusations, or talking about this.”
The class was quiet for only a mere second before every single student was talking, each of them asking questions and growing more confused as they looked at their teacher. And all Aaron could do was rub a hand over his face, unbutton his shirt a little more so he could breathe and let his student’s attack him with questions.
*~*
“Daddy where we going?” Holden asked as he looked around confused, never seeing this building before.
“Remember I told you we’re going over to Robert’s for dinner tonight?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows as he squeezed his son’s hand gently and led them to the front desk.
“Robert’s house!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping where he was walking.
“That’s right buddy, we’re going to Robert’s house,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he rolled his eyes fondly. And when he got up to the front desk he waited for the older man to look at him before doing what Robert texted him to do. “Uhm hi, I’m Aaron Dingle. I’m here to see Robert Sugden.”
The man looked at him for a second before looking down at a clipboard. “Aaron Dingle…” he muttered, his eyes scanning down the paper. “Alright, head to the lift, put in the code 1224 and you’ll be taken up to his floor,” the man said, offering him a small grin.
“Thank you,” Aaron said, smiling back at him before tugging on Holden’s hand and leading him towards the lift.
“Daddy I put the numbers in!” Holden said as soon as they were in the lift.
“Alright, you remember them?”
“Uhm no,” Holden said as he bit his lip and looked up to his father.
Aaron laughed to himself as he shook his head and told the toddler the numbers, watching as his son furrowed his eyebrows and tried to remember what number looked like what. And Aaron was pleasantly surprised when he actually got them all right.
He could hear Holden humming to himself as the lift carried them up, the toddler swaying with whatever he was singing and still holding onto his daddy’s fingers. Even when the lift stopped Holden was still humming to himself, and only stopped when his father tugged on him, urging him forward.
Aaron looked around confused, thinking he’d find himself in a hallway with multiple flats around him. But instead he was in a living room. A very large and fancy living room at that.
“Uhm… Robert?” he called out, taking a cautious step further into the room and looking around.
“Daddy this Robert’s house?” Holden asked, his eyes scanning around the room.
“I think so buddy,” Aaron said quietly, his eyes catching on a hallway. “We just need to find Robert,” he said, tugging on his son again and leading him towards the hall.
As soon as they stepped in the hallway the first thing Aaron heard was music. There was heavy guitar sounding from one of the rooms, and at a careful look Aaron spotted which door it was coming from.
“Stay quiet buddy,” Aaron said softly, putting his finger to his mouth as he didn’t want to interrupt whatever Robert was working on.
Holden nodded as he put his little finger to his lips, telling his daddy he would be quiet as he followed him down the hall and to the cracked open door.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as they walked closer and closer to the door, peeking inside and seeing Robert with a guitar slung over his shoulder, a microphone in front of him and Ed, both of them wearing headphones. But it what they were playing that really had Aaron’s attention. (X)
He almost forgot how amazing Robert was in his raw form, just him and his guitar. But then you add Ed Sheeran into the mix and it’s something else. The ginger lad’s voice clear and crisp into the microphone, mixing with what Robert was playing made Aaron freeze where he was.
He watched as the younger lad strummed the guitar, only to stop for a moment and hit the body of the guitar, making it almost sound like a drum before tapping his foot on some machine and having that hit play over and over again on top of what Robert was strumming or picking. And Aaron had never seen anything like it.
Robert would hit a different pedal on the machine, somehow making more layers play from his guitar, but it was when the younger lad leaned towards his microphone to sing Aaron couldn’t peel his eyes away from him.
I messed up this time
Late last night
Drinking to suppress devotion
With fingers intertwined
I can't shake this feeling now
We're going through the motions
Hoping you'd stop
And though I've only caused you pain
I know but all of my words will always below
Of all the love you spoke
When you're on my road
Walking me home
Home, home, home, home
And after that piece if possible there was even more guitar as Robert tapped another pedal with his foot, both him and Ed going into the chorus, and Aaron couldn’t do anything but just watch.
He may have seemed like he was just creeping on the two, the door only cracked open a bit so he could just barely see them, but what they were playing was too good to interrupt. And Holden must have thought so as well as he was behind his daddy’s legs, watching the two just as intensely as his father.
But when it was over, after the Loud middle, and moving off into the quiet finish Holden didn’t want a second before rushing past his daddy, pushing the door open and running towards the curly haired man.
“Robert!!” he shrieked. “You play so good!!”
Robert snapped his head up, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he pulled off his guitar and opened his arms for the toddler. “My boy, when did you get here?” he asked, scooping the 3 year old up and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
“Couple minute ago, daddy want to listen to you play. He say to be quiet,” Holden said, bringing up his little finger to his lips.
“Oh he did, did he?” Robert asked through a small smile as he raised his eyebrows and turned to look at the older lad who shuffled in after his son.
“Well you know I uhm, I didn’t want to interrupt you guys or anything,” Aaron said as he bit his lip and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
Robert hummed as he nodded to himself and looked back to Holden. “You wanna meet a very good friend of mine?” he asked the toddler.
“Robert I know you friend! He name Ed!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in the curly haired lad’s arms as he pointed to the ginger man.
“And how do you know him?” Robert asked confused as he looked between Holden and his best mate, Ed nearly glowing as he heard that the toddler knew him.
“He daddy’s favorite music person!” Holden said happily, waving to Ed and getting a wide grin back from the older man.
“I always knew he liked me more than you,” Ed said through a quiet laugh as he winked at Robert and walked over to Aaron to drape his arm over his shoulders.
Robert rolled his eyes as he shifted his eyes to Holden, ignoring Aaron’s small blush as Ed pulled him into his side.
“You know he still writes songs about you,” Ed said through a quiet snicker, making the blue eyed lad turn that much more red.
“Alright, you’re leaving!” Robert rushed out placing Holden down and taking Ed’s arm off of Aaron.
“What? You’re not going to ask me to stay for dinner?” Ed asked through a small pout. “I’m sure Aaron would love me to stay,” he said, turning to the older lad and smiling at him.
“No,” Robert said, grabbing Ed’s chin and making the ginger man face him again. “Good work today, I’ll text you later.”
“Alright, alright, geez,” Ed said through a quiet laugh, putting his hands up in defeat. “Bye Aaron, it was good seeing you again,” he said, wrapping the younger lad in a hug and patting his back. “And Holden it was very nice to meet you. Maybe next time you and I can hang out a little longer, yeah?”
“Okay!” Holden said happily, seeing as the man raised his hand for a high five and gave him one.
Ed smiled down at the toddler before looking up at Robert and noticing his best mate already watching him. “I’ll see ya later R,” he said, a small laugh escaping him, the younger lad looking at him like he did all those years ago when he got jeaAarons.
Robert hummed as he watched Ed leave, only then releasing a small breath and looking back to Aaron, about to say something before a little voice spoke up.
“Robert my name R, not you,” Holden said confused as he walked towards the older man, tugging on his shirt, wanting to be picked up.
“Well both our names start with an R, and sometimes people call me that too,” Robert explained as he picked up the toddler and rested him on his hip.
Holden’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he nodded to himself and wrapped an arm around the older man’s neck.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully, never able to get over how cute Holden was. But then he remembered that these two were here for a reason. “Oh so uhm I ordered dinner, I hope you don’t mind.”
“You don’t cook anymore?” Aaron asked, his eyes scanning over the room, it almost replicating a music studio with different instruments all around. “I remember you being quite good,” he said, looking back to the younger lad.
“Uhm no, I don’t really cook anymore,” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip, the last meal he made being for the blue eyed lad. “I mean, I wanted to tonight but Ed and I just got so busy I didn’t-”
“It’s fine Robert, relax,” Aaron said through a small laugh as he saw the younger lad freaking out a little bit.
Robert let out an airy laugh as he adjusted Holden on his hip, really needing to calm down. “So before it gets here I guess I can show you guys around a bit.”
“Robert what that?” Holden asked, pointing towards the corner of the room.
Robert looked to where Holden was pointing and carried him over so the toddler could get a better look. “This is my drumset. What do you think? Pretty cool huh?” he asked through a small smile, tapping one of the symbols with his fingers and making it ring.
“Since when do you play drums?” Aaron asked, taking his eyes off the wall of guitars the younger lad had and to the drumset.
“I learned a few things over the years,” Robert shrugged. “Wanna play a bit big guy?” he asked, looking to Holden and grinning at him.
Holden’s eyes grew wide, his smiled immediately as he frantically nodded. “Yes!!” he said excitedly, wiggling out of Robert’s arms.
Aaron looked over to Robert, sending him a small scowl, knowing he was going to get a headache from his son banging on the instrument.
“Hang on buddy, let’s put these on,” Robert said, walking over to a box, grabbing a pair of small headphones and putting them on the toddler. “Don’t wanna hurt those ears.”
“Do you just have a box of those?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Uhm yeah,” Robert said as he lifted Holden up, sat himself down on the seat in front of the drumset and placed the 3 year old on his lap. “At concerts for some reason parents don’t realize it’s going to be Loud so I always buy a bunch of them and hand them to security so they can give them to the kids without headphones.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows as he heard that, but then again the more he thought about it that was definitely a Robert thing to do.
“Robert,” Holden groaned from the curly haired man’s lap, getting impatient. “Play,” he whined
“Alright alright,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he adjusted Holden on his lap, putting one foot on the bass drum, the other on the high hat pedal and grabbed his drum sticks. “Here you are buddy, you hold these and I’m gonna help alright?”
Holden nodded as Robert gave him the drumsticks, but then the older man wrapped his much larger hands over his little ones.
“Ready?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows as he had Holden’s hands in his, and when the 3 year old said a very Loud and excited “yes!!” Robert couldn’t help but roll his eyes fondly.
Aaron watched the two, Robert carefully making Holden hit the drums and simple beat come from the instrument. But even if it was simple the toddler’s smile was impossible to miss as the curly haired lad moved his arms one place and then to another, hitting a symbol and then a drum before moving them back again.
Holden was laughing and smiling and that’s all Aaron really cared about. But his eyes also caught Robert, the younger lad smiling just as much as the toddler, and at that sight no matter what Aaron did he couldn’t fight off his own blinding grin.
When the two were done though Holden was out of breath from laughing so much and Robert was tired from making the toddler’s arms move all over the place.
Aaron picked up his breathless and giggling son off of the younger lad and followed him as he showed them around his flat. (A/N Robert's Flat)
Robert pointed out simple things, where the bathroom was, his room, he led them into the living room and dining room, their final stop being the outside balcony that overlooked the lit up city and river. And to say Aaron was more than impressed would be a huge understatement.
This place clearly cost a fortune, it being an entire floor of a building, but it also just looked luxurious. There were things that Aaron could easily pinpoint what Robert decorated and what he hadn’t, the younger lad’s personality shown in different places throughout the flat.
But after being shown around, Holden running from one room to the next they made it back into the kitchen, Aaron noticing bags of food that weren’t there before.
“Oh good, Roy must’ve brought it up,” Robert said happily as he reached into the first bag and pulled out a container. “Holden I hope you like pasta with sauce,” he said, smiling down at the toddler as he wrapped his arms around his leg.
“I do!” Holden said excitedly as he tugged on the older man’s leg.
Robert’s grin widened, knowing that behind mac and cheese and his daddy’s famous chicken soup, pasta and sauce was the toddler’s favorite. “C’mon buddy, let’s take a seat at the table.”
Aaron grabbed the bags from the counter and followed Robert to the table, and just as he did that he remembered something. “Robert I’m so sorry I forgot his booster seat,” he said almost wanting to hit himself for not thinking about this. “Do you have like books or something he can sit on?”
“It’s fine, I got one at the store today,” Robert said, already placing his newly bought booster seat on a chair for Holden and getting the toddler situated on it.
Aaron placed the bag of food down on the table and looked at the younger lad surprised, not expecting him to think about little things like that.
“Here Aaron I got your favorite,” Robert said once he was done cutting up Holden’s pasta and made sure the 3 year old was okay before getting everything else out of the bags. “You alright? You know you can sit,” he said through a quiet laugh as he noticed Aaron just watching him.
“Right, right,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip and took a seat next to Holden, noticing his son was already shoving pasta in his mouth. “Good R?” he asked as he chuckled to himself and accepted the plate Robert was offering him.
Holden nodded quickly, his mouth so full he couldn’t talk. “This so good!!” he said happily before taking another bite.
“I’m glad you like it buddy,” Robert said through a small smile as he set the bread, butter and salad on the table as well before pulling out his own food. “Any drinks I can get you guys?”
“Milk for him please,” Aaron said as he offered the younger lad a soft grin and twirled some of his pasta on his fork.
“Sure,” Robert said, his eyes scanning over the table, making sure they had everything. “You want wine or something Aaron? I have a white that’ll go good with that.”
Aaron looked down at his plate, thinking that a glass or two couldn’t hurt him. Plus it would go really well with his alfredo. “That’d be great, thanks,” he said before taking a bite of his food, only having to hold back a groan at how good it was. “Robert where’d you get this?”
Robert laughed to himself as he heard the older lad talk with his mouth full, and then proceed to take another bite. “It’s from Peter’s,” he said, grabbing Aaron and Holden their drinks before grabbing a beer for himself. “Normally they don’t deliver but they can make exceptions.”
“Yeah, exceptions for the rich and famous,” Aaron said teasingly as he rolled his eyes.
“Hang out with me long enough and you’ll get some of the perks too,” Robert said, coming back over to the table and setting the drinks down. He brushed his fingers through Holden’s feathery hair as he walked past him and noticed the toddler was nearly halfway done with his food already. “Geez buddy, you get any food in your mouth, it’s all over your face,” he said through a small laugh as he picked up a napkin and wiped the toddler’s sauce covered face.
“I like dinner at Robert’s house,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and took another bite of food.
Robert smiled happily to himself as he heard the 3 year old and took a swig of his beer. He would love for Holden and Aaron to come over more, maybe have it so half the week they have dinner at the older lad’s and the other half of the week here. It’d definitely give some life to the otherwise empty, quiet and cold flat.
“This really is great Robert, thank you,” Aaron said before sipping at his wine and picking up his fork again. “It’s nice to have a night off of cooking.”
“Anytime,” Robert said quiet through a small grin. “Next time I’ll actually cook though,” he said, earning a chuckle from the older lad.
“Daddy!!” Holden said suddenly, remembering something.
“What big guy?” Aaron asked, taking another bite of food.
“Miss Hollie say I need picture of you for my project,” he said before carefully picking up his milk with both hands.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing he was doing a project at daycare. “What kind of project?”
“A family project,” Holden said smacking his lips together once he finished his drink. “Everyone bring a picture of mummy and daddy and we say nice things.”
Aaron felt himself still for a moment before swallowing thickly and slowly picking his head up to look at Robert across from him. The younger lad was already looking back at him though, his face falling as he heard the toddler.
“But I tell miss Hollie I only have a daddy and she say that okay,” Holden said quietly before reaching for a piece of bread.
“Of course that’s okay buddy. Some kids just have one parent, it’s alright,” Aaron said softly, but it wasn’t even a second later he heard a chair push back harshly and watch as Robert he got up from the table.
“Just gonna grab another one,” Robert breathed out as he held up his empty beer bottle and started walking towards the kitchen.
“Robert…” Aaron barely whispered, grabbing the younger lad’s wrist as he walked past him.
Robert shook his head as he pulled his arm out of Aaron’s grip. “I’ll be right back,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure if Aaron heard him before he walked into the kitchen.
Aaron opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Robert was already out of the room and Aaron felt his heart drop as he saw the younger lad’s face.
He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep breath, trying to think of what to do. It wasn’t that he never wanted Holden to know that Robert was his father, to Aaron it was just too early. The younger lad has only been around for a month, and even though it’s been a good month it wasn’t enough to convince Aaron that he was here to stay, that he wouldn’t hurt Holden.
“Daddy put butter on this please,” Holden said, passing his father a piece of bread.
Aaron turned around to peer into the kitchen quickly, seeing Robert lean against the counter, rubbing a hand over his face while the other held a fresh beer. “Sure buddy,” he said quietly, taking the bread from his son and doing as he asked.
“Where Robert go? He need to eat,” Holden said, noticing the older man’s disappearance.
“He’ll be back in a second, it’s alright,” Aaron breathed out, passing the bread back to the 3 year old.
Holden nodded happily, taking what his daddy was passing him before taking a bite of it.
“Look at you big guy, you’re almost making me nervous I didn’t get enough food,” Robert said through a small laugh as he came back into the room, kissing the toddler’s head as he walked past him.
“Dinner at Robert’s house very good,” Holden said, nodding to himself before taking another bite of his bread.
Robert looked over to Holden, offering him a soft smile before he picked up his fork and continued eating. And as he ate it was impossible not to feel Aaron’s eyes on him. If that wasn’t enough though the older lad would occasionally tap his foot on Robert’s wanting him to look at him, the younger lad refused to pick his head up.
“Okay I full,” Holden groaned as he placed his little hands over his belly and leaned back against his chair. “But I still want treats,” he mumbled.
“Alright buddy,” Aaron said through a small laugh as he finished up his own plate. “Why don’t you go use the potty before we get treats through?” he suggested.
Holden nodded and hopped down from his chair before sluggishly walking out of the room.
Aaron watched as his son shuffled out of the room before letting out a deep breath and focusing his gaze back on Robert.
“You done?” Robert asked, already standing up and picking up his and Holden’s plates.
“Robert...” Aaron said, wanting to actually talk about this.
Robert hummed as he cleared off the table and started walking towards the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink.
“Listen I know you’re hurt about what I said but-”
“How long is it gonna take Aaron?” Robert asked, abruptly turning around and looking to the older lad. “6 months? A year maybe before you tell him?” he asked with a touch of anger in his voice.
“Robert we were together for over a year and you left like it was no problem,” Aaron said, narrowing his eyes at the younger lad. “Who says the same thing won’t happen again after a year? How am I supposed to trust you? How do I know you won’t hurt him?”
“Don’t put that on me Aaron,” Robert said as he shook his head frustratedly. “You know why I left, you know if you told me about him in the first place I wouldn’t have left at all.”
Aaron rubbed a hand over his face as he began walking around the kitchen, needing to calm down. “Just gimme a little time alright?” he asked quietly. “You need to understand the position I’m in, and you need to respect my decisions. It’s been a month and you’ve been great with him, but give me a little bit.”
Robert stood there silent for a second before letting out a small breath and nodding. He understood where the older lad was coming from, but at the same time it hurt that his own son didn’t know who he really was, that the toddler just thought of him as one of his daddy’s mates. Just as he was about to say something though, both he and Aaron snapped their heads up at hearing a piano ringing through the flat.
“R?” Aaron called out, quickly walking out of the kitchen and towards the music room with Robert following close behind him.
The sound didn’t stop though, almost sounding like someone was hitting random keys on the instrument. And when they got to the music room that’s exactly what they walked in to, Holden slamming his little hands on the piano and kicking his legs excitedly as he sat on the bench.
“What’re you doin buddy?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh as he walked up behind the toddler and wrapped his arms around him.
Holden giggled as he felt the curly haired man’s arms around him. “I play music like you!!”
“Oh is that what that was?” Robert asked teasingly as he took a seat next to Holden on the bench.
Holden crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at Robert before lightly hitting his arm.
“I’m just kidding big guy, what you played was very nice,” Robert said softly as he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the 3 year old’s head.
Holden hummed happily to himself as he looked up to the older man. “You play,” he said, grabbing Robert’s hands and placing them on the keys.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the toddler before glancing over his shoulder to Aaron and seeing the older lad shrug as he offered him a small smile. So he turned back to the piano, sitting there for a moment before thinking of what to play, and within a second it hit him. A song he hasn’t sung in years, one that was on his very first album, and one of the very first songs he wrote for Aaron.
He placed his hands where they needed to go, letting out a quiet breath before he let his fingers go, them moving effortlessly over the keys. And when he opened his mouth to sing it was impossible not to feel the older lad’s eyes on him. (X)
When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace,
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there's no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years,
To make you feel my love
He heard Aaron’s breath hitch as he played, but instead of looking to the blue eyed lad he focused on what he was doing. He could remember playing this song for the first time like it like it was yesterday. Back to the days when he used to play in bars, when only a few handful of people knew who he was. So much has changed over the past couple years, but there was one thing that has always been a constant. The way Robert felt about the older lad, how much he meant every word he sang.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong
And just like all those years ago the room was silent except for the piano and Robert’s voice ringing through the room. Holden’s eyes locked on the older man’s hands as he played, scootching closer to him and resting his head on Robert’s shoulder as he listened. And as Robert played it was impossible to fight off his smile, looking down at his son next to him and singing these words that if possible meant more to him now than they did all those years ago.
When he got towards the end though that’s when he felt the room get heavy, when he realized the promises he made to Aaron before they started dating, before they fell in love. And he couldn’t help but swallow thickly at just the thought of how he had broken all those promises, thought about how much he hurt the older lad.
I could make you happy,
Make your dreams come true,
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love
He let the last note ring out, let it echo through the room as he slowly pulled his foot off the pedal of the piano and sat there still on the bench with Holden’s head still resting on him. But when he heard a sniffle both him and Holden quickly turned around, only to see Aaron trying to wipe his tears stained cheeks.
“You sad daddy?” Holden asked, quickly hopping off the piano bench and rushing towards his father to give him a hug.
Aaron sucked in a quick breath, trying to keep himself together as he shook his head. “No buddy, I’m not sad it’s okay,” he said quietly as he wiped his eyes and knelt down to the toddler’s height. “Daddy was just thinking about something, that’s it.”
Robert bit his lip as Aaron looked over to him, no doubt in his mind that they were thinking the same thing, remembering the time they were together all those years ago.
“I no like it when you cry daddy,” Holden said softly, bringing up his little hand and cupping his father’s cheek.
“I know I’ve been crying a lot lately huh?” Aaron asked through a quiet laugh as he sniffled to himself. “I’m like a big ole baby.”
“So you no sad?” Holden asked carefully.
“No, it’s alright,” Aaron said, offering the 3 year old a small smile before kissing his cheek. “Some things just remind daddy of the past, that’s all.”
Holden nodded slowly before wrapping his arms around his father’s neck and hugging him tightly, knowing his daddy’s hugs always cheered him up when he was sad. “Come on daddy we watch movie and that make you happy again. You pick this time.”
“Thanks big guy,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he hugged his son back and kissed his him one last time.
Holden grinned at his daddy before walking over to Robert and taking his hand. “Movie time,” he said, tugging on the older man and leading him towards the door before grabbing his daddy’s hand with his free hand and pulling the two out to the living room.
Robert kept glancing at Aaron as he followed the toddler down the hall, his heart feeling like it fell into his stomach at the sight of him. It seemed like everytime him and the older lad were getting better he had to do something to screw it up again.
“Robert you have treats?” Holden asked as he climbed on the couch and got himself comfortable.
“Uhm yeah buddy, gimme a minute to get it alright?” Robert asked, already on his way to the kitchen.
“I’ll help.”
Robert looked up and caught Aaron’s eyes, the older lad nodding towards the kitchen, wanting to talk to him. So Robert nodded back at him before following the older lad and as soon as they were out of Holden’s ear shot he spoke up.
“Aaron I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Shut up,” Aaron said as he shook his head, knowing Robert would ramble on and on about how sorry he was if he didn’t stop him. “It’s fine that you played it, but I mean maybe next time you can play any other song you’ve written that wasn’t on your first album,” he said through a quiet laugh. “I don’t need to keep hearing the same songs that made me fall in love with you, I can live without that.”
Robert felt his breath come up short as he heard the older lad, and could barely feel himself nodding as he looked at him. “Sure,” he barely whispered.
“Good,” Aaron said as he nodded to himself. “Might wanna hurry with those snacks or you’ll have a whining toddler in a few minutes,” he said before patting Robert on the shoulder and walking out of the kitchen.
Robert couldn’t even move as he watched Aaron leave the room. There were so many things running through his head, his thoughts racing a mile a minute but like the older lad had warned it wasn’t that long before he heard a Loud “Robert! Treats!!” yelled from the living room.
So he hurried with the snacks and carried them out to the living room before turning out the lights and joining the two Dingles on the couch for a movie.
Robert had a few kids movies out on the coffee table already that he picked up at the store today and thankfully Holden chose one of those instead of rummaging through his DVD collection. But like how most movie nights went the toddler was fast asleep halfway through the movie, his snacks gone and quiet snores escaping him. Instead of leaning against his daddy’s arm though he was in Robert’s lap, the 3 year old cuddled up against the older man’s chest. And to Robert’s surprise even when Aaron saw that he was asleep he stayed.
The older lad kept his place on the couch next to the curly haired lad, watching the movie and glancing at his son every few a minutes, a fond smile making it’s way to his face as he did so.
Throughout the movie though Aaron’s phone kept ringing, over and over again and each time the older lad ignored the caller. Robert would send him questioningly looks, but Aaron would just shake his head before letting out a deep breath and focusing back on the film.
It was only when the credits were rolling did Robert ask him about it.
“Who was calling?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake Holden up.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked down at his phone, too many messages and voicemails to count showing up on the screen. “Pete,” he muttered.
“You haven’t talked to him at all?” Robert asked a bit surprised.
“Nope,” Aaron said, popping the ‘p’ as he shoved his phone into his pocket. “He calls and texts me all the time but I don’t even know what I would say to him…”
Robert nodded, knowing that he wouldn’t even talk to Pete but hit him again. That was just him though. “Well are you going to talk to him?”
“I think after musical auditions on Friday I will,” Aaron said quietly as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I know any excuse he has won’t be good enough, but he is my best mate…”
Robert hummed as he gently rubbed Holden’s back, the toddler squirming in his arms for a second before getting comfortable again and plopping his thumb in his mouth so he could suck on it. “So no dinner on Friday then?”
“I don’t think so, I’m sorry,” Aaron said as he bit his lip and looked over to the younger lad. “I’ll probably go out to dinner with Pete and have Ross watch Holden after he picks him up from daycare.”
“Well I can do it.”
“What?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I can watch Holden,” Robert said like it was obvious. “Like I can pick him up from daycare and we can come back here and hang out.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, never giving much thought to Holden and Robert being alone. “M’not so sure about that…”
“Aaron c’mon,” Robert said as he looked over at the older lad. “I mean I think at this point you know it’ll be okay if we’re alone together.”
“Well what’re you gonna do with him? And what if he has a tantrum, you’ve never handled one of those. Also you’re never around kids and I just don’t know if-”
“Aaron,” Robert said, stopping him. “You’ve watched me be with him for a month, you know we’re just gonna play games, watch a little tv, maybe play some instruments, color a bit, play action figures, whatever,” he said, knowing there were countless things he and Holden could do. “As for a tantrum if he has one let me experience it, let me figure out how to handle it and be a real parent.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath as he thought about it and looked to his son in Robert’s arms. It was like his mind was trying to come up with reasons as to why he shouldn’t let the younger lad watch Holden, but he came up empty.
“Alright, yeah you can watch him on Friday,” he said quietly. “But Robert I swear to God if anything happens I will kill you,” Aaron said seriously. “You can be world famous, I don’t give a shit, you’ll be dead if I find out something happened.”
“Fair deal,” Robert said through a soft smile before looking at Holden in his arms.
And even when he carried the toddler down to Aaron’s car and said goodnight to the older lad he was unable to wipe the smile off his face.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
So sorry for this chapter taking a little longer, I was swamped this week !! Hope it was worth the wait ! And if you guys hadn't noticed at the end of each chapter there is a playlist, you can click on the songs and it'll bring you right to the link. I'll be updatng it almost every chapter :) Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !!
Chapter 6
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert's eyes dashed from his rear view mirror and back to the road, letting out a deep breath as he pulled behind the restaurant and parked his car. Before he got out though he did one more scan, making sure no one was around and carefully getting out of his car. And thankfully enough when he got to the back entrance on the building no one had seen him.
Robert made his way through the kitchen, smiling at some of the cooks and waiters that were back there before actually making it to the main dining area, easily finding his best mate.
"I am so sorry I'm late," he breathed out as he took a seat across from the Irish lad. "I swear for once I was going to be early but on my way here fans recognized my car and it was impossible to get them to stop following me."
"It's fine," Adam waved off. "I still have an hour and a half before my next class," he said, his eyes scanning over the menu.
"What do you normally do with your time?" Robert asked, picking up his own menu to look over.
Adam shrugged as he bit his lip, too many things on the menu he wanted to eat, it was impossible to just pick one. "Uhm I dunno, I'll text you or go over music for the orchestra or band. Sometimes I'll have my lunch and just relax but lately I've been hanging out with Aaron and figuring out sheet music for the musical."
"Oh yeah?" Robert asked with raised eyebrows, getting a hum from the older lad. "And what musical did he decide on?"
Adam opened his mouth and just as he was about to answer he stopped himself, a small smirk forming on his lips as he looked at his best mate. "Nice try, but I know Aaron is keeping it a secret from you."
"Come on," Robert groaned, Aaron having picked out what the musical was going to be a while ago but refused to tell him. "Why is he doing this me?"
"To be honest I don't know why he isn't telling you," Adam said through a quiet laugh. "But c'mon it's kinda cute. He's playing games with you like he used to when you guys were dating."
Robert bit his lip, trying to hide his small smile as he thought back to all the times Aaron would hide his things from him in the flat or plan something like a nice dinner or night out without telling him what exactly it was they were going to be doing.
"And speak of the devil," Adam said, looking over at the curly haired lad's phone as it vibrated on the table. "What'd he say?"
"Just reminding me what time to get Holden from daycare and the address," Robert said as he typed out his reply.
Adam hummed as a waiter came up and he ordered them each a beer before the man walked away again. "Do you guys ever text or talk about things not Holden related?"
“Yeah sometimes,” Robert shrugged before putting his phone back on the table. “It’s all small talk, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Well you’ve definitely been happier this past month than I’ve seen you in years, that’s for sure,” Adam said, sending the younger lad a small smile.
“I am,” Robert said softly as he nodded to himself and tried to bite back his grin. “It’s still crazy though… I mean a month ago I found out I was a father…”
“And you’ve been doing a hell of a job Rob, and Aaron sees it too. Ya know, that’s why he’s letting you watch Holden by yourself today,” Adam said as he reached for a piece of bread in the basket on the table.
“After I had to nearly beg him to let me watch him, yeah,” Robert breathed out as he combed his fingers through his hair. “I mean sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever tell Holden I’m his dad.”
Adam’s face fell as he heard the younger lad and let out a quiet breath. “Of course he will R…” he said softly. “You have to remember the position Aaron’s in and that he’s scared, give him a little bit. It’s gonna take longer than a month to forgive you for being gone for over 4 years.”
Robert nodded as he bit his lip and saw a beer placed in front of him, wasting no time before picking it up and taking a swig. “It’s just hard…” he said quietly. “Like Aaron is always referring to him as his son, his boy, and every time he says stuff like that it hurts.”
“But you know he’s yours too Robert and I think that’s what matters,” Adam said, taking a sip of his own beer. “I mean just be grateful Aaron even lets you see him after everything he’s been through, and you and Holden are getting so close, just think about that for now, yeah?”
“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right,” Robert breathed out before picking up his drink again. “Tonight’s the night though, some me and little R time,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Adam couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as he saw his best mate light up at just thinking about tonight. “Got big plans with him?”
“Ya know we’re just gonna play and hang out,” Robert said through his own soft grin. “Make some dinner and probably pop in a movie.”
“So weird seeing you as a dad,” Adam said as he flagged down their waiter, wanting to order his food. “It’s a good weird though.”
Robert rolled his eyes and laughed to himself as he gave his order to the waiter after Adam and thanked the man before he walked away.
Adam watched as the waiter left the table before looking back to his best mate, and even just sitting here like this he was reminded of Robert all those years ago. The Robert that was full of life, always smiling and happy. The Robert that he’s been missing for so long.
“It’s good to have you back mate…” he said quietly, his eyes shifting to the table.
Robert bit his lip as he focused on his best mate and slowly nodded. He knows for the past couple years he hasn’t been there for Adam. That going out and drinking until he couldn’t see straight has been consuming his life ever since he and Aaron broke up. And Robert was surprised that the Irish lad hadn’t left, that he has always been there for him no matter what. Especially now more than ever Robert was grateful to have his best mate.
“It’s good to be back.”
*~*
“Uhm excuse me?” Robert asked a bit frazzled as he walked up to a sales person.
“Y-you, b-but you’re-”
“Yeah, hi,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he saw the shocked young man.
“W-what can I help you with sir?” he stuttered out, trying to regain his composure.
Robert let out a deep breath as he looked around the aisle, trying to figure out what to get. “I need help with a car seat, like for a toddler.”
“Okay well we uhm, we have a couple choices here,” the boy said, gesturing to the wall of options.
“Right yeah but I don’t really know what to get,” Robert said as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “He’s 3 and I want it to be really safe, but it also has to fit in my car.”
“What kind of car do you have?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, already scanning over the wall of car seat options.
“Well I have a Range Rover but me being an idiot today of all days I took out my Porsche,” Robert said, almost wanting to hit himself for not thinking about this earlier. “It’s a four door, don’t worry, like he’s gonna sit in the back seat,” he said through a quiet laugh as he saw the young man looking at him wide eyed and stuttering to himself. “And you know what, I’m sorry you’re trying to help me and I’m being kind of rude. What’s your name?”
“Mark,” the boy said through a small smile as he shook the curly haired man’s offered hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you Mr. Sugden.”
“And you,” Robert said, grinning back at him. “I really do appreciate the help, I’m a bit of a mess right now.”
“S’fine,” Mark waved off as he laughed to himself, still not over that this man was in front of him. “But uhm as for a car seat how much room do you have in the back of your car? Some of these can be pretty bulky and with a Porsche there might not be much room and you don’t want the leather to get ruined.”
Robert let out a deep breath, never thinking something like this could be so difficult. It was his own fault for taking out the wrong car today though. “Probably nothing bigger than this one,” he said, pointing to one of the larger car seats. “And I don’t really care about the leather, I can always get that buffed out or replaced.”
“Right,” Mark said, this being Robert Sugden after all, of course he could easily do those kinds of things to his £200,000 car. “Well then I say go with this one,” he said, pointing to a simple and comfy looking black and green car seat. “It’s incredibly safe, will fit in your car, hopefully not do any damage to the leather and it has cup holders,” Mark said happily.
“I’m sure he’ll love the cup holder part,” Robert said as he laughed to himself and grabbed the box.
“So is this for a nephew or a mate’s kid or something?” Mark asked with furrowed eyebrows as he followed the curly haired lad to checkout and took the box from him.
Robert bit his lip as he watched Mark adjust the box in his hands, knowing he’d eventually come across this question. “Uhm well no, not quite,” he said quietly.
Mark looked at the older man confused but didn’t say anything else on the matter as they got to checkout and he placed the box down to cash it out. “Is there anything else you’re getting today?”
“No this should be it, thank you,” Robert said, as he let out a deep breath, reminding himself he had to pick up groceries as well for dinner tonight. “Are there like instructions on how to set this thing up?”
“There should be on the box,” Mark said through a quiet laugh. “Will you need help with that too?” he asked, slightly teasingly as the curly haired lad swiped his card.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully as he shook his head and grabbed the box. But before he went anywhere he made sure to take a picture with Mark and sign something for him, thanking him a million times and waving to him as he walked out of the store.
“Alright now let’s see if we can set this up,” Robert muttered to himself as he looked over the box and walked towards his car.
It seemed simple enough, just put the strap through the holes and buckle it from behind. So Robert opened up the back seat and took the car seat out of it’s box before leaning into the car and trying to figure this out. He thought it really shouldn’t be this hard, but just getting the belt through the back of the car seat was a challenge enough.
“Agh fuck!” he said, quickly pulling his hand away as his finger got caught between the seat buckle and it’s holder. But at least as he did that it snapped into place and the car seat was secure, so the minor injury was worth it.
Robert tried to shake the car seat, actually making sure it wouldn’t move and that it was in correctly before deciding he put it in right and smiling proudly to himself. “One point for Sugden,” he muttered happily before climbing in the car and roaring the engine to life.
Before Robert got onto the road he made sure to plug in the address of the daycare and mentally and physically prepare himself for the night he was about to have.
He knew Holden was a little ball of energy, one minute going one way and then another. But what was really psyching him out was the fact that for the first time ever he was going to be alone with his son, and he couldn’t mess this up. If something went wrong there was no doubt in his mind that Aaron wouldn’t let them ever be alone, at least not for a while, and that was just something Robert couldn’t risk.
So when he pulled up to the daycare 15 minutes later Robert made sure he had everything plDianed out and that he was prepared for whatever mood Holden was in. He didn’t know if he could handle a cranky toddler, he didn’t know how.
But as he walked towards the small building and walked inside it was easy to find his son, the 3 year old a ball of giggles as he ran around the room, being chased by some other boy. And that was a definite relief to Robert. Not only was Holden in a good mood, but he just loved seeing the toddler so happy.
“Robert!!” Holden shrieked, running at the curly haired man.
“My boy,” Robert said through a wide smile as he knelt down to the 3 year old’s height and wrapped his arms around him. “I missed you so much,” he said before kissing Holden’s head and scooping him up.
“Robert I see you yesterday,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck.
“And that was too long ago,” Robert said through his own laugh before giving the toddler a sloppy kiss on the cheek, making him let out another giggle and squirm in his arms.
"Who do we have here Holden?"
Robert looked up at the voice, only to see a woman maybe in her 20's smiling at him. It was clear to anyone with eyes that she very well knew who he was, and she wasn't shy about letting her eyes wander over him either. Robert had to admit though, she was quite pretty. But there was only one person he ever looked at a certain way. It's been that way for years and Robert doesn't think that'll ever change, even if he wanted it to.
"Miss Hollie this my Robert!" Holden said happily.
"Oh I'm yours now?" Robert asked with raised eyebrows as he smiled at the 3 year old.
"Well I your boy so you my Robert," Holden explained like that was a stupid question. "Daddy say I go play at you house today!"
"That's right it's you and me tonight," Robert said softly before pressing another kiss to the toddler's head.
"So you're signing him out today then?"
Robert looked back to Hollie and offered her a small smile before nodding. "Yeah do I just have to write in a book or something?" he asked as he shifted Holden on his hip.
"Yeah just name and time in here," Hollie said as he pulled out a binder and passed it to him. "So how do you know Aaron?"
Robert set Holden down and told him to get his things as he took the binder from the young girl. "He and I knew each other a couple years back and reconnected a little while ago."
"And you knew each other as in...?" Hollie asked with raised eyebrows.
Robert looked back to Holden to see if he was close, but the toddler was actually talking some girl's ear off as she colored. "We dated for a bit," he said quietly as he signed his name in the book.
"Well are you guys together now?"
And Robert could see where this was going, could tell by the way this girl was looking at him because he's gotten this look too many times before to not know what it means.
"Let's just say I'm not available," he said, trying to let her down easy.
But he wasn't sure he actually did that as it wasn't even a second later Hollie was clearly pouting. Robert wasn't going to dwell on that though, he'd much rather get Holden and get going.
"R come on, say bye to your friends and grab your bag please," Robert said, earning a quick nod from the toddler.
"Wait, before you go could I possibly get a picture? I'm a huge fan," Hollie said through a quiet laugh as she smiled at the curly haired man.
"Uhm, yeah sure," Robert breathed out as he offered her a small grin.
It was impossible not to miss the way Hollie nearly squealed and jumped she was so excited before pulling out her phone and wrapping an arm around Robert's waist.
He did the same to her, placing his hand on her hip and letting her kiss his cheek as she snapped the picture. Of course as soon as he knew she had it he released himself from her grip, but the girl was quick to pull him in for a hug. And Robert hugged her back, trying to be nice as this was one of his fans, it was them that made his career possible after all.
"Robert come on," Holden groaned as he tugged on the older man's shirt, wanting to leave so they could play.
He didn't need to be told twice before letting Hollie go and offering her one more smile. But just as he was about to look to Holden he felt a hand grab his arm.
"Here," Hollie said, handing him a small piece of paper. "Just in case you become available," and with that and a wink she walked away, heading towards the kids to do her job.
Robert looked down at the paper in his hand, having to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes as he threw it in the nearest garbage. "Alright buddy, we finally ready to go?"
"Yes!!" Holden said excitedly, reaching for Robert's hand and tugging him towards the door.
"You have all your toys? No projects you need to bring home or anything?" Robert double checked as he took Holden's backpack from him and let the toddler wrap his hand around his two fingers.
"Robert it fine, let go," Holden groaned, now nearly pulling the older man out the door.
"Alright, alright, geez," Robert said through a quiet laugh as they made their way outside. "So we need to stop by the store really quick to get some things for dinner and then we're going to my house. That all sound okay with you?" he asked as he scooped Holden up, not wanting him to walk in the parking lot.
"Yes!! Robert's house!!" Holden said, nearly jumping in his arms he was so excited.
Robert smiled at the toddler, having to give him a quick kiss because he seriously was the cutest kid, he just couldn't help it. "Here we are buddy, let's get you buckled in," he said as he opened the back door for Holden and let him climb in.
Holden's eyes went wide as he saw the car and let the older man get him in his seat. "Robert this a space car," he said softly, still in awe as he looked around.
"It's a space car?" Robert asked, unable to hide his amusement.
"Fancy space car," Holden nodded as he looked to all the buttons and fancy screens in the car.
"Alright big guy, whatever you say," Robert said through a chuckle as he checked, then double checked that Holden was strapped in correctly before making his way to his own seat.
He checked Holden in the rear view mirror, making sure he was okay before taking off towards the road, feeling like he had to drive extra careful because of the special cargo with him today.
“Robert what miss Hollie give you when we leave?” Holden asked asked as he looked at all of the buttons near him and gently ran his hand over them.
“I don’t know buddy, I didn’t look at it.”
“Well one time she do same thing to uncle Ross,” Holden said, pressing one of the buttons and watching in awe as his window went down. “She give him little piece of paper and he put in his pocket.”
Robert laughed to himself as he glanced at the toddler in his mirror and put up his window before locking all of the buttons so Holden could press what he wanted and not break anything.
“She did to daddy too.”
And that’s what stopped Robert’s laughter, his eyebrows raising and mouth falling open. “Oh yeah?” he asked quietly.
Holden hummed as he nodded to himself and pressed every single button he could, trying to figure out how this space car worked. “Daddy say that miss Hollie always flirt but I no know what that mean. Everyday uncle Ross pick me up and he say that miss Hollie like him and want to date him but miss Hollie ask daddy on a date.”
“She did, now did she?” Robert asked, straining himself so he wouldn’t grit his teeth as he said it. “And did daddy go?”
“No,” Holden said as he shook his head and kicked his little legs in his seat.
Robert let out a deep breath as he nodded to himself, relaxing a bit at that. “Has daddy ever gone on a date?” he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
“Well I no know what a date is,” Holden said as he bit his lip. He’s heard his uncle Ross talk about dates a lot with his daddy but no one ever told him what they were exactly.
“It’s like a uhm… It’s when two people who like each other go out to eat or just spend time together,” Robert tried to explain as easily as possible as he kept his eyes on the road.
“Oh… Well no, I no think daddy go on a date,” Holden said as he shook his head. “Well maybe he go on date with uncle Pete or uncle Ross.”
Robert laughed quietly to himself, thinking that no, Aaron hasn’t gone on any dates. Well at least that makes two of them as he hasn’t either. He couldn’t help but ask himself why Aaron never did go out with anyone though. Surely there were people who took an interest in him, it was impossible not to like the older lad.
“Robert you go on dates?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“No buddy, I haven’t gone on a date in a long time,” Robert breathed out as he parked the car in front of the supermarket and got out. “Ready big guy?”
“Yes!” Holden cheered excitedly as the older man unbuckled him from his seat and he leapt into his arms. “What we making for dinner Robert?” he asked, placing his little hands in the green eyed lad’s short curls, playing with his hair.
“How do you feel about taco pizza?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, only to let out a barking laugh a second later at the toddler’s face.
“Robert… No,” Holden said as he shook his head and looked at the curly haired lad like he was crazy. “You no make taco pizza… You can’t.”
“And why can’t I?” Robert asked, trying to keep his laughter in. “Do you still sit in a cart or do you normally walk?” he asked as he looked between the shopping cart and basket, trying to figure out which to use.
“No I walk,” Holden said as he shook his head and wiggled out of Robert’s arms, only to grab his fingers a second later. “And taco and pizza two different dinner, not one,” he said as soon as he had the older man’s hand secure in his.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully as he picked up a basket and led the toddler into the store. “Well I know you like tacos and pizza and if you trust me I’ll show you how they can be good together.”
“I don’t know Robert…” Holden huffed as he shook his head again doubtfully.
“What? You don’t trust me?” Robert asked, trying to ignore the gawking eyes and people who were not so subtly following them.
Holden let out a deep breath as he thought about it and looked up to the older man. “Of course I do Robert, but you crazy.”
Robert bit his lip as he tried to hold in his laugh, the toddler sounding a bit too serious. “You won’t be saying that when you try it.”
“Alright Robert, alright. You make the taco pizza,” Holden breathed out as he put his little hand up in defeat. “But I get to pick out treats,” he stated as his condition.
“Deal,” Robert nodded as he squeezed Holden’s little hand softly and led him through the supermarket.
The two walked through aisles, picking up what they needed to make the taco pizza and as they went along Holden looked at Robert like he was crazier than ever. But Robert knew he would change his mind when he actually tried this.
Those looks did change though when Robert took the toddler to the snack and candy aisle, Holden nearly squealing for joy as he let go of the curly haired lad’s hand and grabbed everything and anything he wanted. Robert was sure his cupboards would be stocked for weeks with nothing but the sugary snacks, but at least now he had a supply for Holden for whenever he came over.
When they were finally done shopping they had everything they needed for their taco pizza and Robert was just grateful that this little outing went without a hitch. He would be terrified if Holden got lost or furious if paps came, but thankfully nothing went wrong.
And when they got to his flat Robert saw that the toddler was actually a bit excited about making the taco pizza. Maybe not eating it, but making it yes.
“Do you know what we need to do first?” Robert asked as he placed all of the groceries on the counter.
Holden shook his head as he got the stool Robert got for him in front of the counter so he could help.
“Let’s wash our hands and then we’ll get started, alright?” Robert said, trying to organize everything and put it in reach so Holden could help out as much as possible. “Do you ever make dinner with daddy?”
“Sometimes,” Holden shrugged as he got back up on his stool and stood next to the curly haired man. “He say I make too big a mess.”
“You make a mess? I don’t believe it,” Robert said as he laughed to himself, remembering how trashed his flat was after the night Aaron and Holden came over for dinner.
He doesn’t know how the toddler made such a mess with all of his things, but it seemed like Holden got into everything. Robert really doesn’t know how Aaron keeps up with him on a daily basis.
“I know, it crazy,” Holden said as he shook his head, himself not believing that he makes a mess.
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he looked over the counter and saw that he had everything situated. “Alright big guy so I’m gonna give you this and some fAaronr, and I need you to make it flat in this pan,” he said, handing the toddler some dough and a small bowl of fAaronr.
But just as he did that, Robert thought for a second that fAaronr being a very messy thing isn't something he should be giving to a 3 year old. He was too late though. Holden already having half the bowl on his clothes, in his hair and on his face as he clapped the fAaronr and giggled at how it went everywhere.
“Yeah, I can see why daddy doesn’t let you help,” Robert said through a quiet laugh. “While this is cooking you’re taking a bath.”
“What? No,” Holden whined.
“You should’ve thought of that before you got yourself all dirty,” Robert said as he poked the toddler’s tummy. “Daddy will have my head if I give you back to him all dirty tonight.”
Holden grumbled to himself but nodded anyway as he knew his daddy wouldn’t be happy. “When do I see daddy? Is he coming to eat with us?”
“No buddy, he’s a bit busy tonight,” Robert said quietly as he showed Holden how to stretch out the dough.
“Well what he doing?” Holden asked as he followed Robert’s actions and helped him stretch the dough over the pan.
“He had musical auditions after school and then he’s going to meet up with uncle Pete to talk for a little bit,” Robert said, watching as Holden concentrated on what he was doing before reaching for ingredients to layer on top of the dough.
“Uncle Pete?” Holden asked, stopping what he was doing. “Daddy say he go away for little bit, he back now?”
Robert looked down at the toddler and let out a small breath as he saw that Holden was excited about uncle Pete maybe being back. “I don’t know if he’s back buddy,” he said quietly.
“Oh…” Holden said a bit sadly. “I miss uncle Pete,” he said as he watched Robert spread something on the dough before the older man passed him a bag of cheese.
“I’m sorry big guy,” Robert said, trying to sound sincere.
If he was being honest he couldn’t care less if Pete Barton never came back into his or Aaron’s life. But he also knew that Pete was Aaron’s best mate, and has been since they were kids. There was history with them and Robert wasn’t sure it could be completely wiped away because of what Pete had done.
“Robert I put the cheese on yet?” Holden asked, already reaching his little hand into the bag.
“Hang on big guy lemme put the meat on and then you can put on the cheese,” Robert said, walking over to the stove and grabbing the taco meat that had been cooking.
Holden nodded and waited for Robert to finish before he put the cheese on, sprinkling it all over their pizza. And maybe as they put more toppings on it didn’t look too bad, but he was never going to admit that to Robert.
“Robert how long this take to cook?” he asked as he watched the older man put it in the oven.
“It’s going to take about 20 minutes, just enough time for you to take a bath,” Robert said, scooping Holden up from his stool, making the toddler let out a barking laugh.
“Robert,” Holden groaned. “I not that dirty.”
“Excuse me mister but as I’m carrying you down the hall you’re leaving a trail of fAaronr behind us,” Robert said through a chuckle as he opened his bathroom door. “No if’s, and’s or but’s, we’re taking a bath,”
Holden let out another groan as Robert placed him down and got the water started, telling him to take off his clothes so he could get it in. So Holden grumbled to himself as he pulled off his clothes, but once they were off he wasn’t getting in the tub.
“...R?” Robert called out as he turned around and didn’t see the toddler. And all he heard as a response was a very Loud giggle from the hall. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said through a quiet laugh, seeing Holden’s clothes on the floor. “Great, now I have a naked toddler running around my flat,” Robert muttered, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he walked into the hall to find the 3 year old.
“I say no bath!”
Robert perked his head up, if possible his smile growing wider as he saw Holden standing at the end of the hallway. “Would you come here? I’m not chasing you all around.”
“You gon have to! I no want a bath!!” Holden said before he took off running.
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he followed after Holden, maybe pulling out his phone and starting a video as he began running after the giggling and squealing toddler. “R come on! We need to take a bath!”
“No!!” Holden said firmly as he continued to run away.
“Holden,” Robert said, unable to contain his laughter as he ran behind furniture, trying to get a hold of him. “It wasn’t a question.”
“I still say no!!” Holden said as he laughed to himself and ducked behind a chair in the living room, trying to get away from the older man.
It may have taken Robert another 5 minutes of running around his flat to catch the naked toddler, and when he did Holden was in a fit of giggles. And when they got to the bathroom the tub was completely overfilled, water and bubbles all over the floor, thus giving the 3 year old a reason as to why he shouldn’t take a bath. But Robert was adamant, still getting Holden into the tub and keeping him in there with a bribe of all the bubbles he could ever dream of.
And as Holden was playing with his bubbles, putting them all over his face and in his hair Robert pulled out his phone and created a new message. He attached the video of him chasing Holden around the flat and sent it off to Aaron, knowing the older lad would get a kick out of it.
To Aaron: So far so good !
Meanwhile with Aaron
Aaron felt his phone buzz in his pocket as he walked towards the restaurant, pulling it out before opening the door in front of him.
It was impossible to stop the smile that stretched across his face as he clicked on the video Robert sent him. He was more than happy to see them both having a good time and Holden at least somewhat behaving.
To Robert: If I remember correctly you used to do the same thing.
Aaron froze as he looked down at his phone, swallowing thickly and not believing he had actually just sent that. There must be some way to get a text back, to make sure it didn’t actually send.
He was just thinking that, he didn’t mean to type it out! “Fuck, fuck, are you kidding me?!” Aaron muttered angrily to himself as he tapped on the message, trying desperately to somehow retrieve it back. But too late…
From Robert: Only because a certain someone liked to flush the toilet while I was in the shower and make the water ice cold ;)
Aaron bit his lip, trying to keep in a quiet laugh at the countless memories of him doing that. Sometimes on purpose, others not.
Robert took showers that were too long for any sane person, and Aaron was only a man, sometimes he had to pee.
He always did love Robert’s reaction, jumping out of the shower and freaking out around the flat, complaining about how cold it was. There was no way Aaron could actually tell Robert he did it on purpose though.
To Robert: Sorry you took 9 hour showers and I had to pee !!
Aaron groaned to himself as he sent another thing that was just plain ridicuAarons. Someone should just take his phone away from him, he needed to be stopped before this got out of hand.
But then he saw Robert typing and he was just a bit too interested to see what the younger lad had to say. He kept his eyes on the screen, probably looking like a crazy person as he just smiled at his phone.
“Uhm, Aaron?”
Aaron snapped his head up, his smile faltering a bit as he saw Pete in front of him.
“R-hey it’s uh, it’s so good to see you,” Pete said, offering the older lad a small grin.
“Yeah it’s been a while,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip.
“You want to sit? Get some dinner, maybe catch up?”
Aaron nodded as he put his buzzing phone back in his pocket, telling him he got another text, but he figured he should actually do what he came here for. So he followed Pete to a table in the back of the restaurant, still trying to figure out what he wanted to say to the younger lad, if he had anything to say at all.
“So uhm, how’s Holden? He doing okay?” Pete asked quietly as he took a seat across from Aaron and tried to get comfortable.
“Yeah, yeah, he’s good,” Aaron breathed out as he pulled his glasses on and picked up his menu. “He’s actually with Robert right now, spending some one on one time with him.”
“...Really?” Pete asked with raised eyebrows. “I mean you actually kept in touch with him? And are letting him be alone with Holden?”
“Yeah, I am,” Aaron said plainly, keeping his eyes on his menu.
Pete nodded and cleared his throat slightly, thinking that maybe he should be a bit more careful about what he says, not wanting to upset the older lad even more. “Alright, well uhm how is he then? Robert, he good?”
“You don’t have to pretend that you actually care,” Aaron muttered, knowing very well that Pete couldn’t care less about Robert.
“Aaron I…” Pete began, at a loss of what to say. “I don’t know what you want me to do or-”
“Tell me why you did it,” Aaron cut him off, finally meeting the younger lad’s eyes. “Tell me why you lied to me for years, why you thought it was okay to do something so awful to me, to Robert and Holden.”
Aaron watched as Pete opened his mouth but absolutely nothing came out. And that’s what he was scared of, that Pete didn’t even have a reason besides doing it for his own selfish reasons.
“You know what? Maybe this was a mistake, maybe I should go,” Aaron said quietly, placing his menu down and ready to push his chair out.
“Aaron please, I’m sorry, sit,” Pete rushed out, needing to explain himself.
“Why should I even do that?” Aaron asked with a touch of anger in his voice. “Why should I sit and listen to you after the way you hurt me?”
“Aaron because we’re… Well we’re best mates and have been since we were babies,” Pete barely whispered. “I was just trying to protect you…”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he settled back in his seat and taking his glasses off before rubbing a hand over his face.
“Do you remember what you were like when he left?” Pete asked quietly. “How you wouldn’t get out of bed for weeks and I had to basically beg you to shower or eat?... Aaron I couldn’t watch you go through that again, I couldn’t sit and watch him hurt you.”
Aaron bit his lip as he thought back to all those years ago, barely able to pick himself out of bed after Robert left. He pushed the memories out quickly though, not wanting to let those feelings resurface when things were going so well with Robert now.
“But I mean it wasn’t just him hurting you as a reason as to why I did it, even though it was the main one,” Pete said, a bit relieved that Aaron sat back down.
“Before you continue let me ask you this… When I was crying on your shoulder for years about how Robert knew about Holden, how you let me believe that he didn’t want me, he didn’t want our son what the hell was going through your head? I mean how could you just pretend that part of this wasn’t your fault?”
Pete let out a quiet breath as he shook his head and shrugged, not sure what to say. But before he could say anything a waitress came up, the two giving their drink orders before she walked off.
“Aaron I thought I was doing what was right, I thought I was protecting you and Holden.”
“He would’ve come back for us Pete…” Aaron said so quietly he wasn’t sure if the younger lad heard him.
“Do you not remember what he said to you before he left? What he called you?” Pete asked with raised eyebrows. “And besides when all of this happened he was getting famous, you really think he would’ve dropped all of that?”
“Yes,” Aaron said not even need to think about it. “And when he left he was hurt,” he said, catching himself for a second as he realized he was defending Robert. But when he thought about it, in this case he deserved to be. “He was hurting and you knew he was all along but you didn’t say anything to me.”
“Aaron I couldn’t…” Pete said as he shook his head and looked to his hands in his lap. “Every time I talked to you about him you got mad at me and then Adam told me all about what Robert thought of our relationship and I got scared…”
Aaron looked at the younger lad confused, having no clue what Pete could possibly be scared of. “What are you talking about?”
Pete let out a quiet breath, trying to figure out how to explain himself. “When you were dating Matt you said you loved him, or you thought you loved him, and you listened to whatever he said, so that meant we never saw each other because he didn’t like me… And then Robert came along and it was clear to anyone with eyes how in love you were with him.”
Aaron really had no idea where Pete was going with this, what the younger lad was trying to say.
“Adam talked to me about how Robert felt about our relationship, that he didn’t like how close we were… And I was terrified that the same thing would happen, that he would ask you to not see me or hang out with me and that you would listen to him because of how much you loved him,” Pete said quietly, unable to look at the blue eyed lad across from him. “So that mixed with what he said to you, how much he hurt you and the fact that I just wanted to protect you and Holden that’s why I faked the email address…”
Aaron sat there and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe that Pete really thought that he would stop being friends with him just because Robert would ask him to. But that’s the thing, Robert would never ask him to do something like that, not now or then. And Aaron couldn’t help but think of everything that happened because no one talked to each other.
Robert and Pete didn’t talk to him, he didn’t talk to Robert and because of that this mess happened. But now that they were talking and everything was on the table Aaron didn’t know what to do with it all. He didn’t know if he should forgive Pete for what he had done, forgive Robert for what he had put him through.
And even when dinner was over and Aaron listened to everything Pete had to say he was still at a loss. He needed time to think about what the younger lad had said and what they should do as for a friendship. But in the midst of everything his mind always made it’s way back to Robert. How if there wasn’t all this miscommunication they would probably still be together. That neither of them would be hurt, that he wouldn’t be in this situation, having to make a million different decisions.
He pulled up to Robert’s building, his thoughts still racing with everything Pete said but tried his hardest to push them away, at least for now. All Aaron really wanted to do was get his son, say hi to Robert and hear all about the night they had.
When he got up to Robert’s flat he stepped out of the lift and looked around, not expecting it to be so quiet. “R?” he called out. “Either R,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he made his way towards the living room.
Once he stepped foot into the dark room though, the muffled tv playing Cinderella, the only noise in the otherwise silent room Aaron found it impossible to stop the smile that spread across his face as he saw the two on the couch.
Holden laying down on Robert’s chest, little snores escaping them as they slept. One of the younger lad’s arms wrapped securely around the 3 year old while his other laid by his side.
And then Aaron noticed what Holden was wearing as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of the two. He figured that his clothes got dirty and that Robert gave him one of his shirts. But that was the thing, Aaron could recognize that shirt anywhere. He himself used to wear that old band tee when they were together, and it was large on him but it looked like a dress on his son. And even if Aaron wanted to he couldn’t help the fond grin that widened as he looked at the pair.
He reached his hand up, gently brushing his fingers through his son’s feathery chocolate brown hair. If it were curly it would look exactly like Robert’s, but Holden’s hair was one of the few traits he got from Aaron, looks wise anyway.
He looked between the two, letting out a soft breath before gently letting his hand fall, it resting against something else, something warm.
Aaron glanced down, his breath catching in his throat as he saw his hand resting against Robert’s. His eyes flickered back to the younger lad, looking to see if he woke up but he was still sleeping, letting Aaron relax a little bit.
But then he looked back down at their hands, himself stilling for a moment before he bit his lip and slowly opening his hand, it wrapping around the younger lad’s larger one. And he doesn’t know why he did it. Why he traced his fingers over Robert’s palm and his calAaronsed fingertips, feeling the exact same way they did all those years ago. His thick hands, the hard skin on his fingers from playing guitar and the lines he once memorized on his palms were still the same.
And just as he ran his fingers over the younger lad’s palm, his breathing coming out shallow and heart steadily pounding in his chest he felt a hand close around his.
“You know…” Robert’s voice came out sleep filled, a small smile stretching across his face as Aaron’s head snapped up to him. “If you wanted to hold my hand so badly you could’ve woken me up… Oh wait, you did that,” he said through a quiet laugh, rubbing his thumb over the older lad’s skin gently.
Aaron ducked his head, his entire face heating up as he heard the younger lad. “I-I wasn’t… I mean I didn’t mean for you to-”
“It’s more than fine,” Robert breathed out, giving Aaron’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Best way I’ve woken up in years.”
If possible Aaron felt his face heat up even more as he slowly pulled his hand out of Robert’s, ducking his head and biting his lip, trying to calm his racing heart. “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what I was thinking, I-I uhm I-”
“Aaron stop it,” Robert said, trying to bite his laughter back as he reached for Aaron’s hand again, engulfing it in his and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s not like I care, obviously.”
Aaron looked down at their hands, clearly Robert doesn’t care as he ran his thumb over his skin. And as much as Aaron wanted to pull away, he found that he couldn’t, he felt stuck with the way the younger lad was looking at him, the way he was so gentle with him.
“How was your night and musical auditions and everything?” Robert asked quietly, adjusting Holden carefully on his chest, trying his hardest not to wake him up.
“It was uhm, it was-” Aaron let out a shaky breath and swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the way his hand was getting sweaty with how Robert was holding it, how he was playing with his fingers. “Good, it was all good,” he said quietly as he nodded to himself. “Well I mean auditions were good, dinner was okay…”
“Want to talk about it?” Robert asked softly.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked back down at their hands, not sure what he wanted to do right now, his mind was all over the place. “You know what? I should probably get this one home, it’s late,” he said, nodding towards Holden.
“Wait,” Robert said quickly, holding onto the older lad’s hand just a bit tighter to keep him from moving. “Would you uhm, w-well you can stay over here.”
Aaron felt himself still as he heard Robert, his eyes darting between the younger lad and his son resting on his chest.
“You and Holden can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch and then in the morning we can go for breakfast,” Robert suggested through a small hopeful grin.
“I… I dunno Robert…” Aaron said quietly as he shook his head.
“Come on Aaron, what’s it gonna hurt?” Robert asked softly as he rubbed Holden’s back gently and played with the older lad’s fingers.
Aaron let out a small breath as he looked back down at their hands, feeling his cheeks heat up with the way Robert tangled their fingers together. Tomorrow was a Saturday so he didn’t have work and he and Robert are trying this whole being friendly thing, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt. It was just breakfast after all.
“Uhm… Yeah, yeah I guess,” he said quietly, offering the younger lad a small smile. “But you take your bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. It looks comfier than the bed I have anyway.”
“You sure?” Robert’s smile stretching across his face as he slowly released Aaron’s hand and very carefully sat up, adjusting the sleeping toddler on his lap as he did so.
“I insist,” Aaron said through his own grin as he looked at his sleeping son in the younger lad’s arms. “You watched him all night and this is your place so please sleep in your own bed.”
Robert nodded, knowing how stubborn Aaron is and no matter how much he begged and pleaded for him to sleep in his bed the older lad wouldn’t budge. “Where do you want him?” he asked quietly as he rubbed the sleeping 3 year old’s back gently.
“He seemed pretty comfortable with you so if you want he can just sleep with you,” Aaron shrugged.
Robert didn’t think this night could get any better. Well maybe if Aaron was sleeping in the bed too, but he knew that was way too much to ask for, but at least he had his son to cuddle up with. And in the morning they would get breakfast, it was too good to be true.
But after placing Holden in his bed, giving Aaron some clothes and saying a quiet goodnight to the older lad Robert knew it was all happening. He knew it was happening when he was in his own bed and Holden sleepily crawled over to him, laying on his chest before he stuck his thumb in his mouth and quietly snored to himself. And as Robert looked down at his son he couldn’t help the soft smile that came to him before kissing Holden’s head gently, wrapping an arm around and dozing off to sleep with the thought that he could get used to having his son in his arms and Aaron sleeping under the same roof as him. And maybe, just maybe if Robert kept up what he was doing someday Aaron wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch in the living room, but in the bed next to him with their son.
*~*
Aaron rolled over groggily on the couch, no matter how hard he tried to fall back asleep he just couldn’t and those were always the worst mornings. Even though this was the most comfortable couch in the world and he was in his favorite type of clothes, the ones that were too big for him, he just couldn’t get back to sleep.
So Aaron stopped fighting it, instead slowly sitting up and checking his phone, seeing that it was actually a decent time to be awake and that he had a couple messages from Pete that could definitely wait until later.
He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake up just a bit more before setting his phone back down on the coffee table and looked around, his eyes adjusting to his surroundings and remembering that he was actually in Robert’s flat and not in his own home. But as he looked back down at the coffee table his eyes caught something, a few somethings actually.
Aaron reached for the piece of paper, a soft smile coming to him as he saw drawings clearly done by his son. There were a few of them scattered over the table, some of them were the two of them and Robert, their cat Rob and one that Aaron assumed was just scribbles.
And as he looked at the drawings his smile only grew, unable to get over how cute his little boy was. But then his eyes caught the papers that were under the drawings.
Aaron picked them up, his eyebrows furrowing as he could easily tell it was Robert’s handwriting, he would recognize it anywhere. But it was what was written on them that had Aaron’s heart stop.
One page was titled Don’t Let Me Go as the other was Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart, and as he read down the two pages Aaron knew they were lyrics. And just like all those years ago when he used to read the younger lad’s lyrics he felt his breath hitch at the words scribbled on the page.
“Think I have my next single?”
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes going wide and swallowing thickly as he saw Robert shirtless and his joggers dangerously low on his hips. “U-uhm sorry, t-they were just uh they were on the table a-and-”
“Aaron relax, it’s alright,” Robert said through a small laugh as he shook his head and made his way to sit next to the older lad on the couch. “You were always my best critic anyway.”
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile as he looked to his hands in his lap and not his half naked ex-boyfriend who was sitting a bit too close to him. “I don’t think I was much of a critic. I just listened and loved them all,” he said sheepishly, his own laugh escaping him.
“And that’s why you were the best,” Robert said softly as he threw his arm over the back of the couch. “Do you want to listen to them?” he asked nodding to the papers in the older lad’s hands. “I mean I can play them for you if you want.”
“Uhm… Yeah, sure I guess,” Aaron said as he offered the curly haired lad a small smile and handed him his papers.
Robert grinned back at him, giving Aaron’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before leading him towards the music room. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah that couch is comfier than my bed at home,” Aaron said with a quiet chuckle as he followed the younger lad into the room.
“You’re welcome to it anytime,” Robert said, his smile widening as he took a seat on the piano bench, but then he saw Aaron shuffling on his feet in front of the piano. “C’mere,” he said, patting the seat next to him.
Aaron bit his lip but nodded anyway as he took a seat on the small space next to Robert. And as soon as he was comfortable he saw the younger lad grin at him before looking back to the piano keys and placing his fingers where they needed to go.
Aaron just watched as Robert played, the younger lad’s arm brushing against his, his muscles flexing slightly as he moved. And Aaron just stayed still, listening to Robert and feeling his skin being pressed against his own.
The words were heartbreaking and just from listening to the songs Aaron could see that Robert was in pain, that he has been for years. But he himself has been in the same amount if not more pain than the younger lad and since Robert’s been back and they’ve been a bit nicer to each other Aaron felt that pain slowly diminishing. He could only hope that Robert’s was too.
And when Robert finished playing he just sat there, his hands coming off the instrument and resting on his legs as he looked over to Aaron, only to see the older lad already looking right back at him.
“What’d you think?” Robert breathed out quietly, his eyes scanning over Aaron’s face, trying to read him
Aaron opened his mouth, trying to find the words to describe what he thought of the two songs. “Robert they were uhm… They were really beautiful,” he barely whispered, earning a soft grin from the younger lad.
“Yeah?” Robert asked with raised eyebrows, feeling his dimples pop out from how wide he was smiling.
Aaron hummed as he nodded, his own grin stretching across his face. But then he saw the younger lad’s gaze flicker from his eyes to his lips before blue met green again. And Aaron felt himself freeze where he was sitting, swallowing thickly as they just looked at each other.
Aaron can’t remember the last time they were sitting this close, so close that their breaths were mixing and sides completely pressed together. And just at the position they were in Aaron was reminded of when they were dating. The early mornings sitting and listening to Robert playing guitar and kisses between songs, it felt like it did all those years ago, like nothing had changed.
“You know…” Robert trailed off quietly, finding himself leaning a bit closer to the older lad. “They were uhm… They’re about you,” he barely whispered.
Aaron let out a shaky breath, not even able to find it in himself to nod as he noticed Robert getting closer and closer to him. His throat felt so tight he couldn’t even swallow, but it wasn’t just the fact that the younger lad was coming dangerously close to him, it was that he felt his own body involuntarily begin to lean forward as well.
He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, Robert’s body turned fully towards him and the younger lad’s hand hesitantly coming up to the back of his neck. And Aaron didn’t stop him. He let himself get pulled in, let his eyes fall shut and Robert’s nose brush against his before-
“Daddy?”
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes going wide as he saw the position he was in before abruptly standing up from the piano bench. How could he be so stupid? How could he let himself so easily be pulled in like that?
"R-hey buddy," Aaron said, offering his son a small smile. "It's good to see you up, I missed you last night,” he said, walking over to the toddler and scooping him up.
“Daddy you clothes big,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arm around his father’s neck and let him kiss him all over.
“Well uhm, that’s cause their Robert’s,” Aaron said quietly as he shifted his eyes to the younger lad, his cheeks still tinted pink. “I see you’re wearing his clothes too.”
“That cause mine get dirty from make taco pizza,” Holden said, making his daddy look at him confused.
“Right… I’ll pretend I know what that is,” Aaron said through a quiet chuckle.
“We’ll tell you all about it at breakfast. Won’t we R?” Robert said as he got up from the piano bench and walked over to the two, kissing Holden good morning.
Holden looked at the older man wide eyed, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face. “We go to breakfast?!”
Robert raised his eyebrows at Aaron, this being his decision if he still wanted to go. And when the older lad gave him a small nod Robert found it impossible to stop the smile that stretched across his face.
“I was actually going to ask if you guys wanted to stay over for dinner tonight, so if you want we can hang out for the day,” Robert suggested, knowing he was pushing his luck a little bit, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
“Dinner at Robert’s house!! Yes!!” Holden cheered excitedly in his daddy’s arms. “Can I bring Rob?”
“Buddy we talked about this. Rob stays in the house,” Aaron reminded the toddler, him always trying to take the cat to Ross’s or to daycare with him.
“So is that a yes?” Robert asked through a hopeful grin.
Holden nodded quickly and screamed another “yes!!”, but Robert was really looking to Aaron, it all being up to him. And even if the older lad let out a deep breath before biting his lip Robert saw him nod and mutter a quiet “sure”, if possible making Robert that much happier.
“Alright so if you guys want we can drive to your house so you can change and then we can go to breakfast.”
“Yeah, that all sounds fine,” Aaron breathed out, trying to mentally prepare himself for a day with Robert after what had almost happened minutes ago.
“Great,” Robert said, offering the older lad a small smile, Aaron quickly looking away from him though and focusing back on Holden. “Uhm so I’ll just uh, I’ll put some clothes on and we can get goin.”
“Yeah Robert you need shirt if you go to breakfast with us,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck.
Robert let out a quiet laugh, his eyes still locked on Aaron but it was like the older lad was trying to do everything in his power to not look at him. So he didn’t say anything else, instead he made his way to his bedroom and got ready for the day before grabbing his keys, and ushering the two towards the lift.
“Robert I want to ride in space car,” Holden said as his daddy carried him in the parking lot.
“Are you sure buddy? I have another car we can take,” Robert said, thinking today they’d go in his Range Rover. It did have more room after all.
“No! Space car!” Holden said, jumping in his father’s arms.
“Alright, alright, space car it is,” Robert said through a chuckle as he led the two to his car and opened the back door for Aaron to put Holden in.
Aaron felt his jaw go slack as he saw the younger lad’s car. He remembered Robert used to always talk about buying some fancy and fast car but he didn’t think he actually did it. And it nearly took everything in him to peel his eyes away once he had Holden buckled into the seat.
“Here you are Aaron,” Robert said, offering the older lad a small smile as he opened the passenger door for him.
“Uhm thanks,” Aaron said quietly, unable to meet Robert’s eyes as he got into the car.
Robert bit his lip as he watched Aaron get in the car, closing the door when he saw the older lad settled and made his way to his own side of the car. And as he got in his seat and started the car he stole a glance at the older lad, Aaron still refusing to pick his head up to look at him.
It felt like as he drove he would look over at Aaron but the blue eyed lad wouldn’t so much as even glance back at him. So Robert let out a deep breath, his mind racing with the thought that he had ruined everything with Aaron because of what had almost happened this morning. It was as if he took one step forward and three steps back with the older lad. But at least he had all day to make up for it and try to get Aaron to come around again.
“You uhm, you want to come in?” Aaron asked quietly as Robert pulled up to the house.
Or maybe he didn’t have to try all that hard to get the older lad back on his side.
“Yeah, sure,” Robert said, sending Aaron a soft smile. “I’ll feed Rob while you guys get ready,” he said, hopping out of the car and getting Holden out of his seat.
“Rob!!” Holden said excitedly, running towards the door and trying to pull it open. “Daddy hurry!!”
“Alright, alright, geez buddy,” Aaron said through a small laugh as he saw his son trying to break the door down.
He unfolded his jeans in his hands, remembering he was still in Robert’s clothes before reaching for his keys in his pants pocket. And once they were inside Aaron promised the younger lad they would be quick before carrying the toddler upstairs and getting ready for the day.
“Take your time!” Robert called after them before going into the kitchen and getting Rob some food.
The cat must’ve been pretty hungry because as soon as he heard the food fall into the bowl he was quick to walk between the curly haired lad’s legs and purr against him before he began eating.
Robert scratched between his ears his smile widening before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He made his way outside the house as he dialed the number, not really wanting Aaron to hear him and he had quickly learned this past month that there were always little ears listening.
“Since when do you get up before noon?”
Robert laughed to himself as he heard the Irish lad through the phone and hummed, not remembering himself the last time got up this early. “Well I had some guests this morning so I had to get up and be a proper host.”
“Who was at your flat? Your only mates are me and Ed and I spent the night at his place,” Adam said into the phone confused.
“I have more friends than you two you arse,” Robert said as he rolled his eyes and looked around outside. “And Aaron and Holden were over this morning… Cause they slept at my place."
“They what?!”
Robert had to pull the phone away from his ear at how Loud Adam yelled. “Geez Ads,” he muttered. “But yeah, they spent the night and then uhm.... Well something kind of happened this morning,” Robert said, glancing at the closed door behind him and making sure Aaron or Holden wasn’t coming out.
“What the… What the hell is going on? Seriously? They slept there? And then more things happened?!”
“Well kind of happened…” Robert said quietly as he bit his lip and shuffled on his feet. “Aaron and I uhm… We almost kissed…”
“Robert what the fuck!!!”
“I know, I know,” Robert breathed out as he rubbed a hand over his face. “Actually I don’t know… Ads what the hell am I doing?”
“Mate you’re taking the fucking leap!! Finally after years things are falling back into place!!” Adam said excitedly.
“Well not really because we never actually kissed and now he can’t even look at me,” Robert said through a deep breath. “Holden came in right before it happened and just…-”
“Where are you now? What’s Aaron doing?” Adam rushed out, more than ready to help his best mate fix this.
Robert glanced back at the door and shoved his free hand into his pocket, trying to ignore the late October chill. “I’m actually at Aaron’s house… He and Holden are getting ready so we can go out to breakfast and then we’re spending the day together, and they’re having dinner at my place tonight too.”
“So what’re you freaking out about?” Adam asked confused. “Aaron is still hanging out with you and you’re gonna be together all day, relax mate.”
Robert bit his lip and nodded to himself. Maybe he was overthinking all of this but it was impossible not to with how cautious Aaron is around him since they reconnected. And just as Robert was about to say something he saw a car pull into the driveway, but it was who was driving the car that had his jaw clench.
“Ads I have to go.”
“What? R c’mon I want to talk about this,” Adam whined.
“I’ll call you later,” and before Adam could say anything else Robert hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. He watched as the older lad got out of the car, clearly just as thrilled as Robert was to see him.
“Robert…” Pete breathed out as he walked towards the house.
“Pete,” Robert muttered. “What are you doing here?” he asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m here to check on Aaron… Last night didn’t go as well as I hoped,” Pete said quietly.
“Yeah, he told me,” Robert said, eyeing the older lad. “And I also know he wanted some time to think about things when it comes to you so I don’t think he’d appreciate you just showing up here.”
“Don’t act like you know what’s best for him Robert,” Pete scoffed as he shook his head. “Need I remind you of the past 4 years? Ya know, how you left him with a kid?”
“No thanks to you and the shit you pulled,” Robert said, taking a step closer to the older lad. “I punched you once Pete and trust me, I’d be more than happy to do it again. Leave. Now.”
Pete looked at Robert, keeping his ground for only a second before putting his hands up in defeat and backing away. “Tell Aaron I stopped by,” he muttered before walking back towards his car.
Robert hummed, his eyes locked on the older lad until he was fully backed out of the driveway and on the road.
“Why so tense?”
Robert quickly turned around, not having heard Aaron open the door. He was a bit relieved to see the older lad smiling at him and Holden not with him though. “Uhm Pete just stopped by…”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled his coat on and looked into the living room where Holden was putting his shoes on. “Oh… What did he want?”
“Just to see how you were doing,” Robert said quietly. “But he left so…”
Aaron nodded and hummed to himself before calling Holden to get his coat on so they could go.
“Well if it’s uhm, if it’s any consolation you look really nice,” Robert said quietly, scratching the back of his neck and offering the older lad a soft smile.
“Flattery gets you nowhere Sugden,” Aaron muttered through a small laugh as he got his son’s coat on him.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Robert said, gently placing his hand on the older lad’s lower back as he and Holden walked out of the house. “And by your blush I’d say flattery works just fine,” he whispered into Aaron’s ear through a quiet laugh as Holden ran towards the car.
“You’re the worst,” Aaron said, grinning softly to himself as he rolled his eyes and jabbed Robert in the side, feeling his cheeks heat up even more at the curly haired lad’s touch. But for the second time this morning he found himself unable to pull away.
*~*
“Buddy tell me about last night, you haven’t really said anything,” Aaron said as he wrapped an arm around his son and pulled him into his side.
Robert smiled at the two across from him as he stretched his legs forward and not so accidentally tangling his feet with the older lad’s. And even if Aaron froze for a second, his eyes darting to Robert’s, at least he didn’t pull away, instead just continued to talk to Holden.
“Robert pick me up at daycare,” Holden said as he had his tongue sticking out between his lips, his coloring being too important to listen to his daddy.
“Alright, then what happened at daycare?” Aaron asked through a chuckle. “C’mon gimme something R, I missed you yesterday,” he pouted at the 3 year old before kissing him all over his face, making the toddler whine.
“Daddy,” Holden groaned as he tried to push his father away. “I tell you if you stop.”
Aaron laughed to himself, letting up on his kissing but still kept a firm arm wrapped around his son. “Okay I stopped.”
“Good,” Holden breathed out before sitting back against the booth. “Daycare good. I play and Robert pick me up and then miss Hollie give Robert piece of paper and flirt with him and then-”
“Wait, what?” Aaron stopped Holden as he was talking too fast. “Miss Hollie did what?”
Robert’s eyes went wide, his mouth opening but nothing coming out as the older lad looked to him with raised eyebrows. “What? Come on buddy she didn’t flirt with me,” he said through his best convincing laugh.
“Robert she flirt with you like she flirt with uncle Ross,” Holden said with furrowed eyebrows.
Aaron pursed his lips as he kept his eyes on the younger lad and nodded to himself, knowing very well how much of a flirt Hollie was, but the fact that she did it with Robert for some reason didn’t sit well with him.
“And what was on this piece of paper?” he asked, his eyes locked on the curly haired lad as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Aaron it was nothing, I mean I didn’t even look at it, I threw it out as soon as she gave it to me,” Robert rushed out, feeling like he had to defend himself with the way the older lad was looking at him.
Aaron didn’t know why he felt the pang of jeaAaronsly that hit him, or why he even cared. But today has already been pretty weird and it was only 9 am. “Tell me about the rest of your day then,” he said through a small smile as he looked back down to Holden.
But the toddler couldn’t even answer before their food was placed in front of them, Holden immediately more interested in his breakfast than his daddy’s questions.
Robert looked between the two of them, Holden too focused on his breakfast to care about what he was about to do. “Aaron,” he said quietly, placing his hand over the older lad’s, wanting his attention.
Aaron’s eyes snapped to where Robert was holding his hand, feeling himself freeze before he shifted his gaze to the curly haired lad across from him.
“Listen, nothing happened with Hollie. She just asked for a picture, that’s it,” Robert said softly, rubbing his thumb over Aaron’s skin.
“S’fine,” Aaron shrugged, offering the younger lad a small smile. It didn’t matter who flirted with Robert or who asked him out because the two of them weren’t together. Aaron doesn’t know why he got upset, it was just Hollie after all, she flirts with everyone. He just hopes if it happens again he can keep himself together.
Robert grinned back at the older lad, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling their legs just a bit closer under the table and picking up his fork to eat.
Aaron could feel his heart steadily pounding in his chest as he looked down at their hands, Robert’s larger one engulfing his. And if that wasn’t enough their legs were completely tangled under the table, making Aaron freak out that much more.
Sure on the outside he was cool, calm and collected, acting like none of this was happening as he ate his breakfast, Robert’s hand still heavy on his. But on the inside he was freaking out. His mind was racing, his heart was pumping and wherever the younger lad was touching him he just felt hot. And to make it that much worse Aaron felt like he did all those years ago when he first met Robert. When there were subtle and soft touches that made Aaron’s stomach curl and goosebumps rise on his skin.
And Aaron doesn’t know how he kept himself together, actually having a conversation with Robert or his son all throughout breakfast as the younger lad felt like he was completely taking him over with where he was touching him and made no signs of moving anytime soon.
It was only when they were done with breakfast did Robert let go of his hand and untangle their legs. But even as they got up from the booth the younger lad put his hand on Aaron’s lower back, and picked up Holden to get them outside quickly so no one would catch that he was there.
Of course a few waitresses had nearly screamed when they first walked in and a few fans came up while they were eating but Robert told them he wasn’t taking pictures today, just signing a few things.
And as Robert was getting Holden buckled in his seat the toddler talked about how many friends Robert has and how they all wanted to see him. Robert wasn’t quite sure how to explain that one, all these people not really being his friends but once they were all in the car and on the road Aaron explained it to him, that these people just like Robert’s music, they don’t actually know him.
“Oh I get it,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and played with the buttons near him. “Robert where we going?”
“Someone wasn’t paying attention during breakfast huh?” Robert asked teasingly as he reached his hand behind his seat and gave the toddler’s leg a gentle squeeze. “Daddy and I thought it would be fun to go pumpkin picking and then we can take them back to my house to carve them.”
Holden’s jaw went slack before he said a very Loud and excited “yes!!”.
Robert and Aaron laughed to themselves as the toddler started going off about how he wanted to carve his pumpkin and what character he wanted to make it. He was talking so fast they could barely keep up with him but as Robert glanced in the rear view mirror to look at Holden he noticed something.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself, looking at the lane next to him on the highway before switching into it, the car behind him following his exact moves.
“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Robert looked in the mirror again, rubbing a hand over his face as this was the last thing he wanted, especially with Aaron and Holden with him. “There’s someone following us…” he said quietly. “A fan must’ve recognized my car or something.”
“Are you kidding me?” Aaron asked, not believing it as he turned around to look at the car behind them, a teenage girl at the wheel. “Well what do we do? Does this happen a lot?”
“Unfortunately yes,” Robert breathed out. “And I think the best thing to do with the two of you with me is to go to the pumpkin place, park the car, you two stay in here while I talk to whoever is following us."
Aaron felt his jaw go slack at the thought of Robert actually being followed on a regular basis. He can’t even imagine how hard that must be daily. “Sure that sounds fine,” he said quietly.
“Aaron I’m so sorry,” Robert said, feeling terrible as he reached a hand over and squeezed the older lad’s knee gently. “Normally I try to get away from them, but with you two in the car I don’t really want to speed down the highway.”
“Yeah, good idea,” Aaron said through a quiet chuckle, not even wanting to think about how fast this car could go or what it would be like to dodge other cars in some high speed chase. “But it’s fine, really,” he said reassuringly.
Robert let out a small breath as he nodded to himself, still feeling awful about all of it. But at least as he drove Aaron didn’t seem phased by it at all, and he knew Holden wasn’t with the toddler still talking their ears off about pumpkins and Halloween.
Aaron looked over to the younger lad, his eyes then shifting to where Robert’s hand was resting on his knee before reaching for his hand and taking it off him.
“Are you trying to hold my hand again?” Robert asked teasingly as he felt Aaron’s hand on his.
“No but you have been all day,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh as he put Robert’s hand on the steering wheel.
Robert bit his lip as he stole a glance over at Aaron and then looked in the rear view mirror, Holden completely lost in his own little world as he looked out the window. “Well I uhm… You know I missed you these past couple years Aaron,” he said quietly. “And just like all those years ago it’s hard to help myself around you,” Robert said, offering the older lad a small smile.
Aaron sat there quiet for a moment, his eyes locked on Robert who looked over at him every now and again, trying to read his expression. “Haven’t lost that charm now have we?” he muttered, his own grin creeping onto his lips.
Robert hummed, his smile going so wide his dimples popped out before he reached over, pat Aaron’s thigh, and kept it there. And even if he saw the older lad roll his eyes at least he didn’t take his hand off him again, instead just letting it rest on him until they got to the pumpkin patch.
“Daddy! Robert!! Out, we here!!” Holden said excitedly as Robert parked the car, trying desperately to get out of his seat.
“Hang on big guy Robert has do something really quick,” Aaron said, feeling the younger lad squeeze his thigh gently before he got out of the car and walked towards the car that had been following them for over 20 minutes.
Holden watched Robert confused as he and his daddy stayed in the car. He watched the older man talk with some girl for a little bit and take a picture before he walked back over to them and opened his door.
“Who’s ready to get some pumpkins?” Robert asked happily as he got Holden out of his seat.
“Me!!” Holden cheered before nearly leaping into the curly haired lad’s arms. “Robert I want up on shoulders,” he said, already trying to climb up Robert.
“Umh Aaron,” Robert said as Holden not so gracefully tried to climb on him. “Aaron!” he said, this time getting the older lad’s attention and making him rush towards them.
“R c’mon you can’t do that,” Aaron said, helping Holden get on Robert’s shoulders. “Remember we tried that with uncle Ross and we fell?” he asked once the toddler was situated on the younger lad.
“Sorry Robert,” Holden said before placing his little hand on Robert’s cheeks and dipped his head to kiss his hair.
“You’re excited buddy, it’s okay,” Robert said through a quiet chuckle before grabbing one of Holden’s little legs. “Let’s go get those pumpkins.”
And with that and his hand placed on Aaron’s lower back they were off to get the perfect pumpkins.
*~*
“Aaron I swear to God if you throw one more seed at me I’m shoving pumpkin guts in your face,” Robert warned through a quiet laugh as he tried to focus on his carving.
“You’re fine princess,” Aaron scoffed as he helped Holden with his own pumpkin.
“Princess Robert,” Holden giggled before throwing a seed at the older man.
Robert rolled his eyes fondly, the two Dingles completely taking away his focus. “If this pumpkin turns out badly I’m blaming you two,” he huffed.
Both Aaron and Holden laughed to themselves as they worked on their own carving, and just as Aaron was about to say something a phone ringing stopped him. “You need to get that?” he asked quietly.
“Uhm… No, no, it’s fine,” Robert said as he saw the caller and shook his head.
“Robert whoever that is has been calling you all day, just pick it up,” Aaron said, Robert’s phone ringing nonstop since they were at the pumpkin patch.
Robert just shook his head again as he silenced his phone and tried to get back to what he was doing. But he couldn’t even pick up his carving knife before his intercom started ringing. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, getting up to answer it. “Hey Roy, what’s up?” he asked into it.
“Mr. Sugden Clara is here to see you. She said she’s been calling you all day and that it’s very important.”
Robert bit his lip as he glanced over at Aaron, the older lad’s eyes already on him. “Uhm, yeah fine, send her up,” he said quietly before releasing the button and letting out a deep breath.
“Everything okay?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Uhm yeah, fine, fine I uhm, I-I… I’ll be right back,” Robert stuttered out before running his fingers through his hair and making his way towards the lift.
Aaron watched as Robert walked down the hall, growing more and more confused as the younger lad looked almost nervous. And he kept his eyes on Robert as he stood in front of the lift, waiting for it to open, and when it did Aaron felt his heart fall into his stomach at seeing a tall, blonde and beautiful woman come out and hug the curly haired lad.
“I have been calling you all day, we need to talk.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I was just out today and couldn’t talk on the phone,” Robert said as he released Clara from the hug.
“Hence why I’m here,” Clara said through a quiet laugh. “We have some serious things we need to clear up,” she said before walking down the hall, quickly stopping herself though as she saw two people sitting at the dining room table. “Oh, hello.”
Robert watched as Aaron did absolutely nothing but stare at Clara and Holden waved happily. “Uhm Clara this is Aaron and Holden,” he introduced.
“Right the reason we need to talk. It’s nice to meet you,” Clara said through a quiet laugh. “R can we…?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at the curly haired lad and silently asking him something.
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Robert said as he nodded to himself, getting her message. “Uhm I’ll be right back, we just need to talk quickly.”
Aaron opened his mouth, absolutely nothing coming out though as he watched Robert lead Clara down the hall with his hand on her lower back. He let out a shaky breath, reminding himself that the younger lad wasn’t his and that he shouldn’t even care. But as Holden kept trying to get his attention to work on their pumpkin Aaron felt like it was getting harder and harder to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.
“So what’s so important that you had to come over?” Robert asked once they were in his bedroom with the door shut.
“Robert people know,” Clara said seriously. “There are countless pictures of you and Holden and Aaron on the internet some from yesterday, but mostly from today and people are starting to ask questions.”
Robert rubbed a hand over his face, this being exactly what he was afraid of.
“As soon as I saw pictures of you guys at the pumpkin patch I knew I had to call you. Media outlets want to know what’s going on, who they are and why bad boy Sugden hasn’t been seen out on the town for over a month,” Clara said with raised eyebrows, trying to make him understand how serious this was. “If we don’t act now they’re going to take this into their own hands and start following you and them around.”
“No,” Robert said firmly as he shook his head. “Get restraining orders for Aaron and Holden, make sure paps can’t come close to them. After you do that handle the media. Tell them if they don’t back off they won’t get an exclusive from me, and that should hold them off for a little bit, or until I talk to Aaron about all of this,” he said, Clara pulling out a pen and notebook, taking notes.
“Explanations for why you haven’t been out partying?” Clara asked, not looking up from her paper.
Robert thought about it for a second, trying to think of something. “Release a statement that the person who left me, what made me turn to partying came back into my life and I don’t feel the need to or something like that, I dunno, spin it off or something,” he said through a quiet breath.
Clara nodded as she wrote everything down and tried to think if there was anything else they had to go over. “I’m sorry for just showing up here like this but James told me that you said you really wanted to keep this out of the media until you’re ready.”
“No, I’m sorry for not answering the phone,” Robert breathed out as he walked towards the door and pulled it open. “I just never like to when I’m with them ya know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Clara scoffed as she followed the younger lad down the hall. “Evident from the multiple text messages and phone calls that get ignored.”
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Don’t worry with everything going on if it’s your name on the screen I’ll be sure to pick up,” he said, putting his hand on Clara’s lower back and leading her towards the lift. But as soon as they reached the dining room Aaron’s eyes met his, and from the way the older lad was looking at him Robert felt the need to take his hand off her.
“Well I’ll definitely be calling you tomorrow with some news,” Clara said through a quiet laugh as they stopped in front of the lift. “We should find a time this week to go to dinner, talk some more about this and what we can do.”
“We can arrange that,” Robert said, offering her a small smile before wrapping his arms around her. “And thank you for being your stubborn self and coming here to talk to me,” he said before kissing her cheek and letting her go.
“Anything for you,” Clara said as he rolled her eyes playfully. “Bye Aaron, Bye Holden, it was nice meeting you,” she said, waving towards the dining room.
Robert looked over at the two at the table, Holden waving goodbye, but Aaron letting out a quiet breath before rolling his eyes and muttering to himself.
Clara didn’t even notice though before she said one more goodbye to Robert and got in the lift.
“Alright boys, how’re we looking over here?” Robert asked as he walked towards the table and looked at their pumpkin. “Looking really good guys, much better than mine,” he said through a small laugh before placing a hand on Aaron’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. But just as he did that the older lad quickly shoved his hand off him and focused back on what he was doing. “Aaron?” he asked quietly.
“What?” Aaron muttered, taking something Holden was passing him to put on the pumpkin.
“You okay? What’s wrong?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a seat next to the older lad.
“Nothing,” Aaron breathed out as he passed Holden some paint and let him do some finishing touches on their pumpkin. “Was that your girlfriend or something?” he asked quietly, doing everything in his power not to look at Robert.
“What? No,” Robert said, almost having to hold back a laugh. “Clara’s my publicist, she just had some news for me.”
Aaron felt his face drop, feeling like he had to hit himself for being so stupid. First for acting the way he was and second for feeling jeaAarons. “Oh,” he said, his mood changing almost completely.
Robert felt a wide smile come to him as he looked at the older lad and guessed what made Aaron’s mood change. “Aaron Dingle are you jeaAarons?” he asked teasingly, scootching closer to him.
“What? Of course not,” Aaron said, trying and failing to be convincing as he watched Holden paint their pumpkin.
“Ooooh c’mon Aaron, just say it,” Robert said through a small laugh as he poked the blue eyed lad’s side, trying to get him to smile.
“Stop pestering me, I’m trying to do something here,” Aaron said as he swatted Robert’s hand away playfully and tried to help his son.
Robert hummed to himself, not even needing Aaron to say it to know he was jeaAarons of Clara. And even if it was an odd thing to be happy over Robert didn’t care because this meant that the older lad still had some feelings for him, even if he wouldn’t admit it… Yet.
*~*
“Aaron… Aaron,” Robert said softly, gently rubbing the older lad’s leg to get him to wake up.
Aaron scrunched up his face as he curled closer to whatever he was resting on that was so warm, waking up being the last thing he wanted to do.
“C’mon Aaron, it’s getting late,” Robert said with a quiet laugh as he moved his hand to Aaron’s back, rubbing it gently.
Aaron let out a quiet breath and small groan as he slowly cracked his eyes open, the light from the tv in the otherwise dark room too bright for him. But then he tried to hide his face in a couch cushion, wanting to escape the light. As he did that though it wasn’t the couch his face was buried in, but Robert’s neck. His head was resting on the younger lad’s shoulder, basically half his body was with Robert’s arm wrapped around him. And just at noticing their position Aaron’s eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up and away from him.
“Sorry, sorry!” he rushed out, scootching away.
“It’s more than alright,” Robert said softly as he offered the older lad small smile. “To be honest I didn’t really want to wake you up but I saw the time and figured you should get Holden home.”
Aaron let out a few deep breaths as he nodded to himself and looked to the other side of the couch where his son was sound asleep. “Yeah, uhm thanks,” he said quietly before pushing himself off the couch and walking towards Holden.
Robert got up with him, looking around the living room and seeing if anything belonged to them or if they had to take something home. “I can walk you guys down to the car,” he said, picking up their pumpkins from the dining room table.
Aaron nodded at the younger lad as he balanced the toddler in his arms and slipped his shoes on. He managed to get Holden in his coat but decided to just carry the 3 year old’s shoes and his coat down to the car.
“Today was really great,” Robert said happily once they were in the lift and heading down.
Aaron hummed his agreement, watching as the numbers got lower and lower, waiting for the doors to open.
“So I was thinking…” Robert began quietly.
“Well that’s always dangerous,” Aaron teased slightly as the doors opened in front of him and he walked out.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully as he followed the older lad out and caught up to walk next to him. “Well I’m writing my new album so I’ll be at the recording studio a lot, and I just wanted to tell you that if you or Holden ever want to come down to maybe see everything or kind of hang out you could.”
“I know very well how the recording process goes,” Aaron said as they made their way outside, thinking back to Robert’s first album and how he tried to be as present as he could for the younger lad. “But I’m sure Holden would love that,” he said through a soft smile. “M’not so sure if he’ll be paying attention to you or the countless buttons he’ll be able to press though.”
“Fine by me as long as you’re both there,” Robert said through a small grin as he balanced the pumpkins as best he could so he could open the door for Aaron.
Aaron bit back his growing smile as he leaned into the car and tried to buckle Holden into his seat without waking the 3 year old. And thankfully he managed to do it as Robert walked to the other side of the car and put their pumpkins in.
“I uhm… I have something for you,” Aaron said quietly once Holden’s door was shut and the younger lad made his way back over to him. “Uhm, here,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a flash drive. “It’s uhm… Well I used to always send you emails and I wrote to you about Holden and sent you pictures of him growing up… But since you never got them I thought I’d put them on here for you.”
Robert looked at the flash drive in Aaron’s hand before slowly reaching for it and taking it from the older lad. “Aaron this… You have no clue how much this means to me,” he barely whispered.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded at the younger lad and reached for his car door handle. “Uhm text me about when you’ll be in the studio and we’ll try to stop by.”
“Sure,” Robert said quietly as he watched Aaron climb into his car.
Aaron sent Robert a small tight lined smile as he got comfortable in his seat and with a quiet goodnight exchange between the two of them Aaron backed out of his parking space and made his way towards the road. But as soon as he got stopped at a red light he didn’t waste any time before pulling out his phone.
To Ross: Come to the house. Urgent !!
And when Aaron pulled up to his house 20 minutes later he was more than grateful to see his best mate’s car in the driveway.
He made quick work of getting Holden inside and to bed, coming back into the living room where Ross was waiting for him with a cup of tea.
“So what’s up?” Ross asked as he passed the mug to the older lad and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m a dumb and very weak man,” Aaron muttered before taking a sip of his tea.
Ross furrowed his eyebrows at his best mate confused. “Uhm… Why?”
“Because Ross!!” Aaron said like his best mate should know everything that happened today. “Robert and his stupid curls and his stupid dimples and his stupid charm and-”
“Aaron what happened?” Ross breathed out, stopping the older lad, knowing he would go on forever.
Aaron wasn’t even sure if he was able to say it out Loud without freaking out a second later. “W-well it was an accident and it was in the morning so my judgment was cAaronded and-”
“Aaron,” Ross said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Get on with it.”
“Robert and I almost kissed,” Aaron said so quickly it almost sounded like a single word.
Ross felt himself still as he looked over at Aaron, the older lad looking everywhere except for him. “You what?” he barely whispered. “So you sleep over there, and then in the morning he almost kissed you.”
“But that’s the thing Ross! I let him!! And me being my stupid self leaned in too!! And- and…-” Aaron trailed off before hiding his face in his hands and letting out a Loud groan.
“And you spent all day with him didn’t you?” Ross asked with furrowed eyebrows, earning a small nod from his best mate. “Damn Aaron… So you have feelings for him or what? Are you gonna make a move?”
“No,” Aaron said maybe a little too quickly. “But that’s the thing all day he was flirting and touching me and I flirted back and let him hold my hand and just… Agh!!” he screamed into his hands.
“I really don’t see the problem here mate,” Ross said as he shook his head. “I mean I know you never got over him…”
Aaron rubbed his hand over his face before looking over at his best mate, the younger lad looking right back at him expectantly. “What do you want me to say?” he asked quietly. “That I never stopped having feelings for him? That I still love him?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows. “Because I don’t.”
“Aaron you’re scared,” Ross said softly, knowing his best mate didn’t want to hear it, but it was the truth. “And you’ve been terrified since he came back, but have you ever thought about giving him a second chance?”
Aaron shook his head as he bit his lip and looked to hands folded into his lap. “I can’t,” he barely whispered.
“But why?” Ross asked, reaching a handover and rubbing the older lad’s back gently.
“Ross you know why,” Aaron said with a touch of annoyance in his voice. “He left me and hurt me and-”
“Aaron you know why he left,” Ross said quietly. “You guys need to talk and clear this all up, figure out what you’re doing. Maybe you don’t want to date him, or you want to take it slow, or you just want to do something like co-parenting… But at least talk for once about what’s going on and what you want.”
Aaron sat there quiet for a moment, taking in everything Ross had said before nodding to himself. “You’re right,” he muttered, the younger lad always being the voice of reason.
Ross laughed to himself, knowing he was. “You know what? Go now,” he said, making the older lad look at him wide eyed. “C’mon Holdens in bed, I’m here, it’s perfect.”
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, not sure what he wanted. “I can’t just show up there.”
“And why can’t you?” Ross asked with raised eyebrows. “You and I both know he wouldn’t care if you did.”
“...Fine,” Aaron breathed out as he slowly pushed himself off the couch.
“There’s a good lad,” Ross said as he offered his best mate a soft smile. “Good luck Aaron,” he said sending him a wink.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he pulled his coat and shoes on. “Hopefully I’ll be back soon,” he said quietly before opening the door, immediately seeing hard and fast rain coming down.
Ross hummed to himself as he started looking for the tv remote, knowing he’d have to get comfortable because Aaron could say he wouldn’t be long, but Ross knew otherwise.
Aaron looked at his best mate one more time before pulling his hood up and rushing towards his car, trying his hardest not to get soaked. And thankfully for the most part he got into his car without being completely drenched.
As Aaron started the engine and pulled onto the road he tried to gather his thoughts, tried to figure out what it was he actually wanted from Robert. He didn’t know what he wanted to say the younger lad and as he drove through dark and rainy streets Aaron only grew more and more lost. But there was one thing that kept running through his head, and that was the constant voice warning him that he’s been hurt before and it could happen all over again. And Aaron didn’t know if he could go through that, if he could stand another heartbreak.
His thoughts were interrupted though as he heard his phone ringing, him reaching down with one hand and answering it without looking at the screen.
“Hello?”
“Aaron!” Adam rushed out. “Listen I know it’s late and you have Holden but I really need your help right now.”
“Uhm, okay, what’s up?” Aaron asked as he kept his eyes locked on the road, making sure to drive extra slow with how hard the rain was coming down.
“Robert needs help,” Adam said quickly into the phone, clearing sounding stressed.
“What? What happened?” Aaron asked a bit worriedly.
“I don’t know he called me and he’s freaking out over some pictures of Holden or something,” Adam said, rubbing a hand over his face as he tried to get somewhere quiet to talk. “I’m at a concert with Ed in Brighton and I can’t get to him, I would if I could.”
Aaron sat there quiet for a second, finding himself speeding up just a bit more to get to Robert quicker. “Over pictures?” he asked quietly, thinking to the flash drive he gave the younger lad. “I’m actually on my way over there now…”
“Really?” Adam asked not believing it. “Well good,” he breathed out relieved. “But yeah just calm him down and text me later, yeah?”
“Course,” Aaron said, and with that he said goodbye to the younger lad and threw his phone on the passenger seat so he could drive with both hands.
He found himself rushing through the rain to get to Robert’s building and once there nearly ran inside to avoid getting wet. Aaron made his way into the lift, his heart beginning to beat faster and faster the closer he got.
He didn’t know why Robert would be upset about pictures, and on top of that he still had to talk to the younger lad and clear everything up without himself breaking down. So when the lift doors opened to reveal Robert’s flat Aaron let out a deep breath before making his way towards the living room.
Before even stepping foot into the room though Aaron could hear quiet crying, but once he actually caught sight of the younger lad his heart nearly dropped.
He could see Robert on his computer, just scrolling through pictures before picking up his beer, taking a huge gulp of it before sniffling to himself and wiping his eyes. And Aaron didn’t want to startle him, thought it would only make things worse.
“Uhm, Robert…” he said softly, carefully stepping towards the couch in front of the curly haired lad.
Robert’s head snapped up to him, his eyes going wide before he got off the couch and rushed towards the older lad.
Aaron stood there startled for a second as he felt Robert’s arms wrap around him, his head tucked into his neck and quiet cries escaping him. But it was only a moment later he carefully brought up his own arms and hugged him back, letting out a deep breath as he rested his head on the younger lad’s shoulder.
“A-Aaron I’m sorry. I-I’m so so sorry,” Robert hiccuped into his neck, refusing to let him go.
“Robert what’s wrong?” Aaron asked softly as he rubbed the curly haired lad’s back, needing him to calm down.
“I-I left,” Robert barely managed to choke out. “I-I just left the two of you a-and I wasn’t t-there for you o-or w-when he grew up. I-I-”
“Robert,” Aaron said, stopping Robert and slightly pulling way to look at him. “I didn’t want you to get upset…” he said quietly.
Robert shook his head as he pulled away from the older lad completely and tried to even his breathing. “W-why didn’t you ever tell me? When you found out, just why?” he asked, looking at Aaron with pleading eyes, this question running through his head ever since he found out about Holden.
Aaron opened his mouth as he looked right back at the younger lad, feeling his words get caught in his throat. “Robert I was terrified…” he barely whispered. “Y-you were always traveling and getting more famous, a-and we were only together for a year and you barely had enough time for me let alone a baby.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” Robert said, shaking his head again and locking his eyes on the older lad. “I would’ve dropped everything for you, for him, and I told you that.”
“I-I couldn’t let you,” Aaron said, feeling tears pool in his eyes. “Robert I couldn’t let you drop everything, couldn’t let you give something like that up.”
“So what? Y-you thought you could just hide that you were pregnant from me?” Robert asked shakily.
And again Aaron opened his mouth, absolutely nothing coming out as he thought back to all those years ago, how scared he was to tell Robert, how he thought he would ruin everything Robert had worked so hard for.
“Aaron… Please say something,” Robert nearly begged, needing them to talk about this, needing the older lad to explain.
Aaron swallowed thickly as his gaze shifted to the floor, now finding himself unable to look at the younger lad. “Robert I loved you so much, y-you don’t even know...” he barely whispered. “I-I didn’t want to get hurt, I didn’t want you to have to choose.”
Robert shook his head as he bit his lip and combed his fingers through his hair, needing to calm down before he started screaming.
Aaron came first, that’s how it’s always been and he should’ve known that. Robert told him countless times, and he meant it every time he said it. Before he got signed he said it, while he was touring with Ed and when he recorded his first album he said it. And yet Aaron still didn’t get, to this day he still doesn’t.
“Aaron it’s always been you…” Robert said quietly as he looked back to the older lad. “It always will be…”
“Robert how can I believe you when you say that?” Aaron barely whispered, finally picking his head and looking at the younger lad through tear filled eyes. “Do you understand what you did to me…? Do you know how much it hurt to watch you so easily walk away from what we had?”
“Y-you think that was easy for me?” Robert asked, feeling his heart nearly break all over again at the mere memory of that day all those years ago.
Aaron shook his head as he backed away from Robert, needing to get out of there. He doesn’t know why he came, why he thought they could talk about this. “I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry,” he said before quickly turning around and heading towards the lift.
“Aaron, stop!” Robert said, almost jogging after the older lad. “You can’t keep running away from this, please just talk to me, we can figure this out.”
“Figure what out Robert?” Aaron asked as he sniffled to himself, pressing the lift button over and over again, hoping it would come faster.
“Us,” Robert answered him, grabbing his hand to stop him. “There’s no denying we fucked up all those years ago, but what about now? What about what happened today, you can’t just forget about that.”
Aaron pulled his hand out of Robert’s as he shook his head, himself never actually deciding what he wanted. And he didn’t even need to answer before the lift doors open, him quickly stepping inside and pressing the button to go down. But before the lift went anywhere Robert stepped in.
“Aaron,” Robert said firmly as he reached for his arm, wanting the older lad to actually listen to him.
“What?” Aaron asked maybe a bit too sharply as he wiped away the tears that escaped him.
“Just talk to me…” Robert said softly. “Tell me how you feel, or what you want from me or just anything,” he nearly pleaded. “Tell me you still love me…”
Aaron stilled for a mere second before shaking his head and biting his lip, willing his tears to stop. But thankfully the doors opened, revealing the lobby, and Aaron didn’t waste a moment more before rushing out.
Robert didn’t let him get away that easy though, he followed right after the older lad, his heart pounding in his ears and his breathing coming up short as he walked after him outside into the pouring rain.
“Aaron just say it!” he yelled over the rain. “That’s why you didn’t stop me this morning in the music room, why you let me hold your hand and touch you the way I did when we dated.”
“Robert stop, please,” Aaron said quietly, shaking his head as he tried to get to his car, rain falling all around him and making his clothes get soaked through.
“No Aaron, listen to me!” Robert said, grabbing the older lad’s arm and spinning him around to make him face him. Aaron’s hair matted to his head, rain dripping off his nose and clothes completely drenched much like his own. “Tell me that for the past 4 years, even after I hurt you that you didn’t feel anything for me! Tell me that this morning you didn’t want to kiss me too!”
Aaron swallowed thickly as he blinked the rain out his eyes, unable to say anything as he looked at the younger lad in front of him.
“Aaron it was never over, don’t you get that?” Robert asked softly. “We still aren’t over.”
And Aaron just stood there, his eyes locked on Robert. But before he could say anything, before he could even move or take a breath he felt the younger lad’s hands cup his cheeks, and a pair of lips on his.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Just A Little Bit Of Your HeartAriana Grande3:57
Don’t Let Me GoRobert Sugden3:50
The OneKodaline4:01
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Finally it's here !!! Sorry this is such a massive chapter but I wanted to fit all of this into one. But of course I had to leave a bit of a cliffhanger ;) What do you think Aaron will do with Robert kissing him ? I always love comments, kudos are cool and so are you for reading this, thanks !! Xx
Chapter 7
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Robert felt Aaron freeze where he was, his entire body going tense as his lips were pressed to the older lad’s. But that was just before he felt Aaron’s hands on his chest and the older lad shove him forcefully, making him stumble backwards and his heart stop at the sight of the blue eyed man in front of him.
Aaron looked at him with a hard glare, his chest looking like it was nearly heaving with how deeply and quickly he was breathing. And Robert looked right back, his mouth opening and closing, his hair falling into his eyes from the rain and his heart nearly falling into his stomach with how the older lad wouldn’t peel his furious gaze away from him.
But then he changed from furious to something Robert didn’t know. Maybe it was confusion, maybe he was trying to convince himself to do something, but Robert didn’t care because it wasn’t even a second later he saw Aaron rushing towards him, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down for a hard kiss.
He felt his breath get caught in his throat, but he didn’t waste any time before snaking his arms around Aaron’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer to his chest and kissing the older lad back with everything he had. And it was everything Robert had missed.
When they kissed like this when they were dating, heavy lips on each other and quiet breaths exchanged between them there was such warmth and so much comfort in it all. And within a millisecond it was back, within a moment Robert remembered just how much he felt at peace with Aaron in his arms.
After years the older lad’s lips were on his, Aaron’s hands all over him, in his hair, down his back, feeling everything he could as if they had seconds left together, as if this moment wouldn’t last for nearly as long as they wanted it to. But Robert wasn’t going to complain, not one bit with Aaron kissing him feverishly, their noses brushing and breaths mixing hastily with how their lips were moving against each other. And to Robert there was no better feeling in the world than kissing Aaron, than feeling him against him.
The way his insides curled, his skin rose with goosebumps and not from the rain, and the way he overall felt in his arms. Secure, safe, warm and loved.
And even after they pulled away, their heads leaning against one another's and breaths coming out in deep heaves the feeling didn’t leave Robert. “God I missed you,” he barely whispered, just Loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain around them.
Aaron stilled for a second, his own ragged breathing going quiet before he looked up at the younger lad and slowly backed away from him.
“Aaron?” Robert asked quietly, noticing how the older lad was looking at him wide eyed. “Aaron what’s wrong?” he asked, licking the rain away from his lips and taking a step towards him.
Aaron didn’t say anything though, instead his mouth fell open and he shook his head furiously before he quickly turned around and rushed towards his car.
“Aaron stop!!” Robert yelled, jogging after him. “Please you can’t leave!” he said, trying to stop the older lad from closing his car door.
And again Aaron didn’t say anything but shove Robert’s away from the door, slamming it shut and roaring the engine to life.
“Would you stop?!” Robert screamed at the top of his lungs as he banged on the window and his eyes filled with tears. “A-Aaron please I’m sorry!! But you can’t go! I can’t lose you again!!” he said, steady tears streaming down his face as he tried to open the door, doing everything in his power to try to get to the older lad.
Robert could barely see with how hard he was crying, with how heavily the rain was falling on him. But he could see how Aaron began to back out of his parking space, and he could feel his throat tighten, his heart nearly stopping at the sight of him speeding out of the parking lot and onto the road.
He didn’t feel the way his knees hit the concrete as he collapsed, or the way his tears were falling faster than the rain. He didn’t feel the October cold freeze him right to his bones and he didn’t know how he ended up laying on the hard, wet ground. The only thing Robert could feel, the only thing he tried to scream over the rain was Aaron’s name.
*~*
“Rob!!” Adam called out as he stepped into the flat.
“I’ll check the kitchen mate,” Ed said before heading in the opposite direction of the Irish lad.
Adam nodded as he made his way past the living room and towards the hallway. He never heard from Aaron last night and Robert has been ignoring all of his texts and calls so he figured either something really good happened, or something went terribly wrong. Either way he had to check on his best mate and make sure he was okay.
“R!” Adam called out again, popping his head into the music room and letting out a quiet breath when he saw Robert wasn’t in there. “Mate come on, where are you?”
He made his way further down the hall, thinking maybe the younger lad was in his bed. But as soon as he stepped foot in Robert’s room it was clear he wasn’t in there either.
There was only one more place to look in the entire flat and that was the bathroom. If Robert wasn’t in there though Adam knew he wouldn’t be here at all, and then he wouldn’t have a clue as to where he could be.
“Robert?” Adam asked quietly as he pushed the bathroom door open and peeked his head in. But as soon as he saw his best mate he felt his heart stop. “Ed!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs before rushing over to Robert and dropping to his knees.
Adam could barely feel himself breathing as he looked over Robert. His clothes soaking wet, his lips blue and what seemed like every single bottle of liquor the younger lad owned empty and scattered on floor.
“Robert!!” he said panicked as he shook his best mate. “Robert wake up! C’mon!” Adam nearly yelled as he continued to shake him and leaned down towards him to see if he was even breathing.
“What wrong?!” Ed asked as he ran into the bathroom breathless. “Oh my God…” he barely whispered, his eyes catching his best mate.
“W-what do we do?” Adam asked, his eyes brimming with tears. “Do we take him to the hospital?”
Ed opened and closed his mouth, too stuck to even say anything. “Is he breathing?” he asked quietly before dropping to his knees next to Adam.
“Yeah he is, b-but- w-what do we do?” Adam stuttered out, his eyes setting back on Robert.
“Get him out of those clothes, we need to warm him up,” Ed rushed out before running back into Robert’s bedroom and getting him new clothes. “Turn the bath on!” he yelled.
Adam quickly nodded before gently placing Robert down and rushing towards the bathtub.”Are you sure we shouldn’t take him to the hospital?” he asked nervously as he glanced back down at his motionless and unconscious best mate.
“I-I don’t know,” Ed said shakily as he came back into the room with fresh clothes. “We’ll give it 10 minutes and if he doesn’t wake up then yes,” he said before going over to Robert and carefully began pulling his shirt over his head.
Adam looked down at his best mate and he couldn’t help but wonder what happened last night, where things went terribly wrong. But he couldn’t dwell and think about that as he saw Ed finish taking Robert’s clothes off and trying to get him in the tub.
The tub was only half full but he helped him in anyway, his mind racing with things they should do or if they should call someone. But there was definitely a certain someone Adam wanted to call, figuring he would be the only person who knows what happened to Robert last night.
“You have him?” Adam asked as he slowly took his hands off of Robert.
“Yeah, yeah I got him,” Ed said, trying to keep the younger lad upright in the tub. “C’mon R, wake up,” he muttered to himself, scooping up some of the water and gently splashing it on his face.
Adam bit his lip nervously as he looked down at him, finding it impossible to stop himself when he began pacing in the small room. “I should have been here, this never would’ve happened if I was here,” he said quickly as he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly.
“You don’t know that Ads,” Ed said softly. “You said Aaron was already on his way here, something probably happened between them…”
“I’m gonna kill him,” Adam muttered angrily under his breath. “I swear next time I see him I’m gonna kill him.”
“You don’t even know what they fought about, or if they fought,” Ed said, trying to calm the Irish lad down as he kept gently splashing water at Robert.
Adam shook his head again, not even needing to think that Robert was like this because of Aaron. That the older lad yet again broke his heart and drove Robert to drink himself numb.
“Ads! Ads!” Ed said quickly, seeing Robert move and hearing him let out a quiet groan.
“Robert!” Adam said, rushing over to the tub and leaning down towards his best mate and cupped his cheeks to make him look at him, only to earn a groan from the younger lad. “R, wake up.”
Adam kept his eyes locked Robert, watching his face scrunch up and his eyes squeeze shut. But before he even opened his eyes, before he made another sound Adam saw the younger lad’s lip wobble and silent tears escaping him.
“N-Adam,” Robert barely managed out and he rested his head against his best mate, unable to stop his stream of tears.
“It’s okay mate, it’s okay,” Adam said softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around Robert. “Are you warm enough? Do you feel sick?”
“N-no,” Robert hiccuped into Adam’s shoulder. “I-I feel A-like crying,” he said, letting his tears come out faster and faster.
Adam let out a small breath as he rubbed his best mate’s back gently, trying and wanting him to calm down. “Ed go downstairs and talk to Roy, see if he knows what happened last night,” he said, earning a quick nod from the ginger haired lad.
And just as Ed left if possible Robert only began to cry more the memory of last night, playing it over and over again in his mind.
“Come on mate, let’s get some clothes on you and make sure you’re warm,” Adam said softly before helping the younger lad get up from the tub, making sure Robert wouldn’t step on any of the many bottles that littered the floor.
“I-I don’t e-even care, j-just leave me a-alone,” Robert hiccuped out as Adam tried to dress him.
“Robert don’t do this,” Adam said quietly.
He couldn’t help to think back to all those years ago when him and Aaron broke up. How Robert didn’t care about anything or anyone, how he was cold and distant for what seemed like a lifetime. And Adam couldn’t let him go back to that, he doesn’t know what he would do if Robert did.
So he just dressed the younger lad and got him into his bed, Robert’s cries never stopping as he shoved his face into his pillow and clutched his blankets.
Adam looked at his best mate, his heart breaking over and over again for him and he doesn’t even know what happened yet. But he knew it had to do with Aaron, and he figured that yet again the older lad had hurt his best mate beyond repair.
“Ads,” Ed said quietly, coming back into the room. “So I talked to Roy and he told me that he saw Robert and Aaron go outside, they both seemed upset and Robert was basically running after Aaron, trying to get him to talk to him… He said he didn’t see either of them come back in for about two hours, but when he looked at one of the security cameras he saw a body just laying in the middle of the parking lot, so he ran outside and found Robert just laying there in the rain and crying “Aaron” over and over again… After he found him he just brought him up here and asked if Robert needed help or wanted him to call someone but he yelled for him to get out.”
Adam had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t scream how furious he was, how angry he was with Aaron for leaving Robert like that. And when he looked back to his best mate, him sobbing into his pillows and trying to hold anything within reach it was clear just how hurt and heartbroken he was.
But Adam wasn’t going to let him go through this again, wasn’t going to let his best mate drown and numb himself in drinks, especially when Robert had Holden. That was the only thing that gave him hope. That Robert wouldn’t go back to his old ways because he had his son. But Adam didn’t even know what happened last night, or if Aaron would let Robert see Holden at all. All he could do was hope and try to talk to the older lad and figure this all out.
*~*
Robert bit his lip as he brought up his hand and knocked gently on the door. His stomach twisting into knots from both how nauseous he felt and his nerves taking over his entire body.
Just at being back at this house he wanted to cry. On the way here it felt near impossible not to but he managed to choke it back, his eyes needing to be clear so he wouldn’t get in an accident.
But now he was outside the all too familiar brick house, his eyes pooling with tears as he brought up his hand and knocked again. “A-Aaron,” Robert hiccupped just Loud enough. “P-please I-I just w-want to talk,” he said, knocking over and over again but getting no answer.
And his knocks turned to banging the longer he stood outside, getting more and more frustrated with no one answering the door. But just as Robert was sure he was close to breaking the door down he remembered it was Monday, and that meant Aaron was teaching and Holden was at daycare or went to work with Aaron.
So Robert didn’t waste a second before rushing to his car and speeding it to the high school, wanting nothing more than to talk to Aaron, to have him explain why he left.
And the entire time he drove his mind was constantly racing with the thought of how badly he had screwed up, if he was ever going to see Holden again or ever even talk to Aaron again. But when he pulled up to the high school 10 minutes later Robert quickly made his way inside the building, needing answers from the older lad.
“Don’t forget to sign in dear!”
Robert stopped himself just as he was about to walk past the main office and let out a deep breath before heading over to the secretary to sign his name in.
“And who are you here to see?” she asked, not looking up from the pass she was writing out for the younger lad.
“Aaron Dingle,” Robert muttered as he signed his name, and put the date and time down.
“Oh, Robert Sugden,” the secretary said, finally looking up. “Uhm Mr. Dingle has requested you not be let in if you’re here to see him…” she said quietly.
Robert snapped his head up, his face turning hard as he looked at the woman in front of him. “He what?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in,” she said, biting her lip and looking up at the younger lad a bit nervously.
Robert wanted to throw something, he wanted to scream and break everything in sight at those words. But instead he settled on something else. “Fine, I’m going to see Adam Barton then.”
The secretary looked at him for a moment before letting out a quiet breath and nodding. “He has a class right now so I’ll have to escort you there and make sure he’s okay with you stopping in.”
Robert scoffed and rolled his eyes, not believing this was actually happening. That Aaron requested he not even be permitted into the building, he was that desperate not to talk to him.
But he followed the secretary to Adam’s room anyway, of course passing by Aaron’s and just at hearing the older lad’s voice through the door he felt tears welling in his eyes. And even if this middle aged woman kept looking back at him worriedly Robert didn’t try to stop his silent tears.
When they got to Adam’s room though Robert didn’t waste any time before walking past the secretary and pushing the door open, only to make his best mate’s head snap up at him.
“Robert?” Adam asked with furrowed eyebrows as he dropped his arm and placed his baton down on the music stand in front of him. But as soon as he saw the younger lad’s tear stained cheeks and the way he looked like he was about to collapse Adam panicked. “Class cancelled! Don’t put away your instruments, I will, just go!” he rushed out before nearly jogging to his best mate and wrapping his arms around him.
The kids looked around confused for a moment before they slowly picked up their things and shuffled out of the room, eyeing the two curiously as they walked out.
“R what’s going on? You okay? You feel sick or anything?” Adam asked worriedly, not knowing if Robert had a couple beers, maybe drunk something else and wasn’t in the right state of mind.
“N-Adam,” Robert hiccuped out as he tucked his head into his best mate’s neck, trying to muffle his cries. “I-I want this t-to stop. R-How do I-I make i-it s-stop?”
Adam looked around his room, grateful his class had actually left when he told them to. “Make what stop R?” he asked softly before carefully leading the younger lad to a chair and gently sitting him down.
Robert shook his head quickly as he hid his face in his hands and tried to hold back his choked sobs. “I-I dont w-want t-to feel t-this w-way,” he barely managed to get out.
Adam almost heard his heart break as he took a seat in a chair next to his best mate and pulled him into his side, letting him cry on his shoulder. He spent all day yesterday with Robert doing this exact thing, just letting him cry and cry and doing everything in his power to keep the younger lad away from the liquor cabinet. And again Adam was reminded of all those years ago when Aaron and Robert split up, when he could barely stand to see his best mate in so much pain.
“N-Adam w-what am I supposed t-to do?” Robert hiccuped out as he felt his best mate pull him impossibly closer. “R-he won’t A-let me see him a-and what about R-Holden? R-He won’t answer m-my text o-or my calls, I-I-”
“You gotta breathe R, c’mon,” Adam said softly as he rubbed the younger lad’s back, hearing him get more and more choked up. “I tried to talk to him this morning but his door was locked… It has been all day, I think he’s trying to keep me out too…”
“Adam he told the secretary not to let me in the fucking building if I was here to see him!!” Robert said, suddenly raising his voice and rubbing his hands over his face frustratedly.
Adam looked at Robert a bit shocked and couldn’t help but grow more furious with the older lad. Robert had told him the entire story of what happened on Saturday night and the more he listened it felt impossible to stop himself from growing to hate Aaron for what he did to his mate, for what he’s been doing to him for years now.
“Do I stop by his house? Do I try to talk to him tonight?” Robert asked through a shaky breath as he wiped his wet cheeks, trying to calm himself down.
“I uhm… Well I talk to Ross today, and he told me Aaron won’t answer the door if you go to his house… He doesn’t want to see you...” Adam said quietly.
“Why is he doing this?!” Robert nearly screamed as he abruptly stood up from his seat and started pacing. “He kissed me!! He came over to my flat to talk about our relationship and then pulls this shit!!!”
Adam carefully reached for the older lad and tugged on his arm, wanting him to sit back down and calm down a bit. “I know R, I know…” he said softly. “Maybe you both need time to think about what you really want… Maybe Aaron realized after you guys kissed he doesn’t actually want to be with you but didn’t know how to tell you…”
“I-I know what I want,” Robert said as he bit his lip, willing his tears to stop. “I-I want him a-and Holden, that’s it… T-that’s all I want…”
Adam watched as his best mate hid his face in his hands and let out even more cries, having no clue what to say or do to help him. He didn’t know if he could at this point.
*~*
“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly, looking up at his father through his eyelashes.
“What?” Aaron asked, forking some more food into his mouth, not picking his head up.
The toddler bit his lip, his daddy being upset for a couple days now and he didn’t want to make him more sad, but he wanted to know something. “Where Robert?”
Aaron stilled for a second, this not being the first time Holden has brought him up, but he hoped soon that the 3 year old would stop asking. “Robert’s at work,” he breathed out, this being the same excuse he uses whenever Holden asks.
“But he say that when I want to see him you call him so he come over,” Holden said as he looked down at his plate. “He no come over to dinner for forever.”
“It’s only been four days R, it’s fine.”
“Can I call him? I miss Robert, I want to talk to him,” Holden said softly as he saw his daddy get a little annoyed, but he really wanted to talk to the curly haired man.
“You need to finish eating,” Aaron said plainly before he stood up from his own seat and brought his dishes into the kitchen.
“But daddy can I-”
“No, eat,” Aaron stopped him, not wanting Holden to ask to call Robert again.
Holden’s face dropped, his lip quivering and eyes filling with tears as he hopped out of his booster seat and ran for the stairs to go to his room, unable to stop himself from crying as he went.
“Holden wait!” Aaron said quickly, trying to catch up with his son
“N-no!!” Holden said as he ran up the stairs, not wanting to talk to his daddy.
Aaron felt his body freeze as he watched his son run up the stairs and slam his door once he got to his room. His heart was already broken but if possible he felt it break even more at the sight of the 3 year old.
He didn’t know how he was supposed to do this, if he could at all. Robert flooded his mind constantly, the way their lips felt pressed together like they had all those years ago. That toe curling feeling and the immediate warmth that washed over him when he was in the younger lad’s arms even in the freezing rain. But he couldn’t go back, no matter how badly he wanted to.
*~*
“Robert?”
Just at his name Robert grumbled and rolled over in bed, his eyes still stinging, his throat numb and nose runny. But nowadays that was normal. “What?”
Clara bit her lip as she walked into the room. Her eyes landing on too many colorings to count that a child clearly did scattered all over the younger lad’s bed and bottles of empty liquor on his bedside tables.
“Ed called me,” she said quietly as she took a careful seat on the bed. “He told me what happened, and I just wanted to check on you… So how are you?”
“How do you think I am?” Robert nearly spat through his teeth as he sat up to look at her. “I haven’t seen my son in nearly a week, the guy I love refuses to talk to me and I’ve been bDianed from entering the high school for showing up too many times!”
Clara looked at the younger lad softly before she shifted her eyes to the drawings on the bed, seeing Holden’s name very messily scribbled on the corner of all of them. “Have you tried going to his house?”
“No, I never thought of that,” Robert said sarcastically as he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Everytime I go over there I knock on the door and ring the bell but I’m not even there for 10 minutes before Aaron’s mate shows up and tells me to leave…”
“Is he some big guy? I mean what’s he going to do to you?” Clara asked, knowing Robert was very persistent if he wanted something desperately. She wouldn’t expect him to leave that easily.
“He’s not big but I’m sure he could kill me…” Robert muttered, just thinking about how scary Ross is with his hard glare and the way he looks like he’s ready to throw a punch any second.
Clara just looked at Robert for a moment, her eyes trained on him and it was impossible to miss the way he bit his lip and focused his gaze away from her, trying desperately to hold back tears.
“W-when he and I broke up I couldn’t, I-I… I felt like I could barely breathe…” Robert said just Loud enough for Clara to hear, feeling his eyes pool with those all too familiar tears. “A-and now I don’t have him o-or Holden, a-and I can’t do any of this…” he said, his shoulders shaking as brought up his hands to muffle his cries.
“Robert…” Clara said softly as she shifted on the bed to sit next to the younger lad and rub his back softly. “What can I do for you? Please tell me anything so I don’t have to see you like this…”
“G-get them back for me,” Robert sobbed into his hands.
Clara opened her mouth, finding it impossible to say anything. Now she understood what Adam and Ed were talking about when they said that Robert seemed beyond repair, that if possible his heart was broken yet again with even more dents and bruises that were there before.
“You know I can’t do that Robert,” Clara said softly. “But you really need to get all your feelings out, did you try writing? That usually helps you…”
Robert didn’t nod, instead he reached for his bedside table and passed Clara his pages upon pages of lyrics that he’s written in the past week. They were all his thoughts, all his doubts and feelings written down, and for once Robert found that writing wasn’t helping him, but actually making him realize everything he’s lost.
“Maybe you should go to the studio…” Clara suggested gently. “Record a few things or just get a change of environment. That might help a little bit.”
“I think I’d rather rather numb the pain, thanks,” Robert breathed out as he shifted on his bed and looked through the bottles on his bedside table, trying to find one that wasn’t empty.
“Robert stop,” Clara said, already getting up and picking up all the bottles, “Get up, take a shower, and get dressed. I’ll wait for you in the living room and I’m taking you to the studio, no objections,” she said sternly.
Robert looked up at her and it was very clear she wasn’t kidding, so he let out an annoyed grumble before swinging his legs over his bed and looked around his room for some clothes that were actually clean. But even if he was getting out of his flat and wasn’t leaving to stand outside the school or Aaron’s house Robert was sure that going to the studio and recording the words that made him cry himself to sleep wouldn’t help either.
*~*
Aaron shifted his glasses on his nose as he turned his volume on his phone up just a bit more, trying to hear the radio clearly in the silent room.
Maybe grading wouldn’t be so awful if he had something playing the background, or maybe grading was more agonizingly painful now because he’s been feeling terrible for the past two weeks.
Sleeping is something foreign to him, Holden will barely even talk to him and he’s sure his eyes are going to be permanently pink and puffy from crying so much. And maybe he deserves this. This is what he gets for leaving Robert like that, but no matter how many times he thinks he should go to his flat, should answer the door when the younger lad comes over there’s always that voice in his head telling him no. And Aaron wonders if there will ever come a day he can silence that voice, if there’s ever a day he can fight what's been scaring him for years.
But of course just as he’s trying to push the younger lad out of his thoughts he hears his name on the radio.
“Now you and Robert Sugden are good mates aren’t you? Has he helped you with your new album at all? I know he wrote for your last one.”
Aaron picked his head up as he heard the host of the show, Julian, talking to who he thought was Sam Smith.
“Yeah Robert’s been a good mate of mine for a couple years now,” Sam confirmed with a small grin. “He did write my single I’m Not The Only One on my last album, and I actually ran into him a couple times at the studio this past week. He’s uhm… Well he’s been writing a lot and he actually gave me about three of his songs for me to put on my new album.” (X) (X)
“Really? He gave you three? That’s quite a lot, isn’t he working on his own album?” Julian questioned confused. “I know him and Ed Sheeran released a song about three weeks back and it quickly climbed to number 1 on the charts, but you’d think he would want his songs for himself.”
“Well like I said he’s been writing a lot and he’s working through some stuff right now so I think he gave me the songs that reminded him most of what’s happening,” Sam said quietly. “Every time he looked down at his lyrics I swear he was about to cry, so he just gave some of them to me.”
“Heartbroken Robert, it’s not the first time we’ve seen him like this huh?” Julian asked almost through a small laugh. “Why doesn’t he just go back out to the clubs, and pick someone up? Isn’t that what got him over that slump years ago?”
“He never got over his “slump”,” Sam said a bit annoyed. “And Robert never actually went home with any of those people might I add… So to all of you that think of him like that need to get it out of your heads. He hasn’t so much as kissed someone in nearly 5 years.”
Aaron sat there completely frozen as he heard the two men on the radio go back and forth. If anything this made him want to crawl under a rock more than he already had but for some reason he just couldn’t turn it off. He heard them talk about Robert and sleeping around, Sam continuing to press the fact that Robert hasn’t been with anyone in years but Julian still didn’t seem convinced. So instead they moved it to the actual reason of the interview and talked about Sam’s upcoming album.
“So with the songs Robert gave you are you going to put them on the album?”
“Yeah, they’re really great, I wouldn’t want them to go to waste,” Sam nodded to himself.
“Care to give us a taste? Maybe we can get a better understanding of how Robert’s really feeling,” Julian suggested.
“... Uhm yeah, sure,” Sam breathed out. “I actually have the songs he gave me in my pocket,” he said, pulling the lyrics out. “Now fair warning to everyone it’s pretty sad, but beautiful,” Sam said through a quiet laugh. “I’m just going to read off it, I don’t have music or anything yet.”
Aaron didn’t know if he wanted to listen, if he could bear to hear anything Robert wrote because more than half the time it left him in tears. But after the way he hurt Robert he was sure after hearing this he would need to go home so he wouldn’t be sobbing in front of his next class.
(X)“Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be, where I was, right there, right next to you. And it’s hard, the days just seem so dark, the moon, the stars are nothing without you. Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain the way I’m missing you. Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside. These tears, they tell their own story. You told me not to cry when you were gone… But the feeling’s overwhelming it’s much too strong… Can I lay by your side, next to you, you? And make sure you’re alright? I’ll take care of you… I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight…”
“... And that’s without music,” Julian barely whispered.
“That’s only part of it, and I have two more songs just as heartbreaking,” Sam said as he bit his lip.
“Well Robert Sugden wherever you are I hope the person that made you feel this way either comes sprinting back to you for being so awful or you find someone who treats you right.”
Aaron didn’t even try to stop his tears as they fell, his head hidden in his arms and heart barely beating. All he wanted to do was go home and cry and drink and pretend that none of this was really happening. He wanted to pretend that Robert never left all those years ago, that they were happy, that they were a family and everything was okay. But absolutely nothing was okay, and he made sure of it.
“Decided not to lock your door today huh?”
Aaron snapped his head up, his eyes immediately meeting a nearly scowling Adam. “Adam I-”
“No, shut up,” Adam said angrily as he walked towards the older lad and stood directly in front of him. “He took a chance on you Aaron and you threw it right back in his face! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he nearly spat through his teeth.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he wiped his wet cheeks, the younger lad nearly killing him with his eyes. “W-we kissed and I… I knew he could just leave like he did-”
“Aaron you’re all he fucking thinks about!!” Adam yelled, wanting to scream at the older lad for well over a week now for what he did to his best mate. “You have been for the past 4 fuckin years and because of you he drinks to drown out the thought of you and the pain you caused him!! And I didn’t want him to go back to the way he was before, but you made damn sure to break his heart even more this time didn’t you?!”
Adam just stared at Aaron, his chest nearly heaving with how heavily he was breathing. And the older lad didn’t say anything, instead he was visibly shaking from how much he was crying, but if anything that’s what Adam wanted to see. He wanted to know that Aaron didn’t come out of this without feeling guilty.
“You know if you didn’t have Holden I would tell you to stay the hell away from him after the shit you pulled…After the way you hurt him,” Adam said quietly as he shook his head at the older lad.
“But Adam the first time he left me!! He didn’t even let me-”
“The first time you were a coward and a liar and I am sick and tired of picking up after your messes!!” Adam yelled, making Aaron jump in his seat. “I’m tired of seeing my best mate nearly drink himself to death so he won’t feel the way he does, so he’ll forget you!!! Man up and tell him how you feel or stay the fuck away from him!! Let him see his Goddamn son and have the fucking decency to stop torturing him with all your miscommunication and running away bull shit!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, almost feeling his own tears escape at the thought of how much pain Robert was in, how much pain he’s been in for years.
But with that Adam stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving a silently crying Aaron behind him.
*~*
“Daddy?” Holden said confused as he saw his father rush into daycare. “Daddy what you doing here?”
“Come on, we’re going home,” Aaron said through a quiet sniffle as he scooped up his son and made quick work of signing him out and grabbing Holden’s things.
“Daddy we no even have snack time yet and I want to play,” Holden whined as his father carried him out to the car.
“Well daddy doesn’t feel good and uncle Ross couldn’t get you so we’re going home,” Aaron breathed out as he rushed to the car and got his son buckled in his seat.
Holden furrowed his eyebrows but he had to wait until his daddy was in his own seat to ask him anything. “Why you no feel good?” he asked worriedly.
“I just don’t buddy,” Aaron said, his eyes still feeling like they were stinging from when Adam screamed at him in his classroom. But after that happened and he cried for nearly an hour he called out sick, cancelled his classes and didn’t waste a moment before picking Holden up. So now here they were.
“Daddy you sick?” Holden asked quietly, wanting to help him if he wasn’t feeling good.
“Something like that…” Aaron muttered as he kept his eyes on the road, wanting nothing more than to just sit at home, let Holden play in his room and maybe cry until he passes out.
“You need soup and nap,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and watch as his daddy zoomed down the streets.
Aaron didn’t say anything but let out another deep breath and nod, knowing he desperately needed sleep after not getting a restful night for well over a week and a half.
Holden kept his eyes on his daddy’s seat in front of him, biting his lip before looking back out his window to watch the buildings pass by. His daddy hasn’t seemed very happy for a little while and he always looks tired now, Holden wanted to know what was wrong. But what made him sad was that he hasn’t been able to see Robert for a long time, and he can’t ask his daddy to see him because he always gets upset.
Just as his daddy stopped at a light though Holden noticed someone in the car next to them. “Space car…” he barely whispered. “Space car!!!” Holden nearly screamed, seeing Robert in the car next to them.
Aaron quickly looked over, his heart dropping into his stomach at Robert being in the lane right next to them. But luckily the younger lad hadn't noticed him, and he intended to keep it that way as he shielded the side of his face on the window side.
“Robert!!” Holden yelled, desperately trying to press his button to get the window down. “Robert! Robert!!” he screamed, feeling tears prickle in his eyes as the window wouldn’t move and he wanted the older man’s attention.
He just wanted to talk to him, to see him because it felt like he hadn’t in forever. And if his daddy was trying to shush him, trying to make him stop Holden wouldn’t.
“R-Robert!!” Holden said through a small cry as he hit his little hand on the window over and over again.
“Holden stop it now,” Aaron said, turning around and trying to get his son to stop banging on the window.
“No!!” Holden screamed, his tears rolling down his cheeks as he hit his daddy’s hand away and kept pounding on the glass. “R-R-Robert!!” he cried out.
Aaron didn’t know what to do as he watched his son sobbing in the backseat, but when he turned back around in his seat he didn’t waste a second before turning right on the red light, needing to get out of there before Robert turned to look at the car.
“Daddy!!” Holden yelled, kicking his father’s seat as he drove away. “I-I want R-Robert!!” he said through a choked sob as he saw his daddy driving further and further away from the older man.
“Holden stop,” Aaron barely said Loud enough for his son to hear as he reached behind his seat to grab the toddler’s legs, wanting his legs to stop kicking.
“N-no!!” Holden said, his tears streaming faster and faster as he kicked his little legs harder. “R-Robert,” he hiccuped, throwing his head back against his seat and letting out a Loud cry.
Aaron quickly pulled his hand away, the toddler kicking it and he was sure if he kept it there Holden would’ve broken it from how hard he was kicking. “You need to relax Holden, I’m sure that wasn’t even Robert.”
“Daddy s-stop!!” Holden screamed as he wiped his wet cheeks, only for more tears to fall. “T-that Robert space car!! I see him!!”
Aaron bit his lip, trying desperately to keep his own tears back as he heard his son and he was the one who did this to him, who made him this upset. He was worried it would be Robert who would one day hurt Holden like this, but it was actually him doing this to his son, and Aaron couldn’t do any of this anymore. After what Adam said and after making his son cry like this all because he was scared, none of this was worth it. And when he pulled up to their house 10 minutes later Holden was still crying his eyes out, but Aaron knew what he had to do.
“Come on R,” he said quietly as he unbuckled the toddler and pulled him into his chest.
“N-n-no!!!” Holden cried out, doing everything in his power to try to get out of his daddy’s arms as he picked him up. He hit his chest, kicked his legs and wiggled in his father’s arms but nothing seemed to work.
“Holden stop it,” Aaron said firmly as he only tightened his grip and he made his way towards the door, trying to ignore the toddler hitting and kicking him.
Holden didn’t do anything but hit and kick his father more as he carried him into the house, wanting nothing more than to get out of his arms. He didn’t try to quiet his sobs and didn’t stop wiggling in his father’s arms when they were in the house and his daddy tried to keep him from moving. But when he was flailing his arms, his tears blurring his vision he hit his daddy in the face, and even when he realized he did he didn’t stop.
“Holden that’s enough!” Aaron said angrily, clutching his nose after his son had basically punched him.
Holden coughed and hiccuped a few times as his father put him down and he didn’t waste a second before hitting his daddy’s leg one more time and looking up at him through tear filled eyes. “I-I hate you!!” he screamed, pointing an angry finger at him before letting out a Loud cry and running towards the stairs to get to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Aaron froze where he was, hearing his breaking heart shatter at what his son had just said. He hates him… He had actually pushed and hurt Holden so much where he felt that he hated him. And Aaron knew he was 3 and that he can be over dramatic, but Holden has a reason to hate him. He’s been deliberately keeping Robert from him, he’s been distant and cold towards his son and he hasn’t listened to him when Holden just wanted to talk.
So when Aaron pulled his phone out of his pocket, his hands shaking and silent tears falling onto the screen he knew he had to fix this. He had to stop breaking his own heart, Robert’s heart and most importantly Holden’s heart.
To Robert: Holden needs you.
*~*
Robert skid his car into Aaron’s driveway, his breathing coming out in heaves as he rushed out of the car and sprinted towards the door before nearly pounding on it.
It wasn’t even 15 minutes ago he got Aaron’s text and ran out of his lunch with Clara, racing over to his house and not paying any mind to traffic laws to get there as quickly as possible. And when the older lad answered the door, his eyes red and puffy, Robert didn’t even let him talk before shoving past him and nearly running up the stairs and to Holden’s room, able to hear him cry all the way from down stairs.
As soon as he opened the door though he felt his breath hitch at the sight of the toddler. His cries muffled into his pillow, his little hands clutching his blankets and it was clear from the state of the room that Holden had thrown a few things around.
Robert carefully walked towards the bed, taking a gentle seat on it but as soon as he did that Holden only cried harder. He swallowed thickly, feeling his own tears pool his eyes as he reached a careful hand over and gently rubbed the 3 year old’s back.
He hasn’t seen Holden in two weeks and that by itself broke his heart. But seeing him like this… It was something Robert couldn’t bear.
“Holden…” he said softly, trying to get him to sit up so he could look at him.
Holden picked his little head up as he sniffled to himself, but as soon as he saw Robert he let felt more tears come to his eyes before he lunged at the older man and wrapped his arms around him. “R-Robert,” he cried into his neck, hugging him impossibly tighter.
Robert let out a deep breath as he let his tears slip, immediately hugging his son back. And just having him in his arms, sitting here with him, it was impossible for Robert not to start crying himself as he kissed the toddler’s head over and over again.
“My big boy… I missed you so so much,” he barely whispered, trying to keep himself together so he wouldn’t actually start sobbing in the 3 year old’s arms.
“I-I miss my R-Robert,” Holden hiccupped before he slightly pulled away, only to kiss the older man and wrap his arms back around his neck. “D-daddy say y-you at w-work and n-no see me,” he said, letting out a few more tears.
Robert shook his head as he hugged the toddler impossibly closer and rubbed his back, desperately wanting him to calm down. He couldn’t believe Aaron had lied to Holden about where he was, and what made it worse was that the older lad made it out to seem that he didn’t have time for Holden, and that will never be true.
“No buddy I didn’t have work,” he said quietly before kissing the toddler’s head and pulling him into his lap. “Daddy and I just got in a little fight and he didn’t want to see me, that’s all.”
Holden looked up at Robert and sniffled to himself before feeling a few more tears slip. “B-but I want see you,” he cried into the older man’s chest.
Robert felt more tears pool in his eyes as he looked down at the 3 year old, not believing what Aaron had done, that he had kept Holden from him when he was clearly hurting. “I wanted to see you too big guy,” he said before gently wiping Holden’s tear stained cheeks.
“How long you s-stay?” Holden asked quietly.
If Robert could he would stay with Holden for forever. He wouldn’t leave his side, especially with him hurt like the way he was. But he knew that Aaron wouldn’t let him stay, that he probably was still trying to avoid him. Just at that thought though Robert got an idea.
“Holden do you want to come to my house for a little bit?” he asked softly as he rubbed the 3 year old’s back. “You can sleep over like you did that one time and we can hang out all night, does that sound okay?”
Holden hiccupped to himself as he thought about it before resting his head on the older man’s chest and nodded. “Daddy go to Robert’s house too?”
“No buddy, I think it’s just gonna me and you,” Robert said softly. “Is that okay?”
Holden bit his lip as he felt a few more tears come to his eyes, thinking about how his daddy has been yelling at him, how he’s been mean to him. “That o-okay,” he said a bit shakily. “I want my Robert,” Holden said before wrapping his arms back around the older man and kissing his cheek.
Robert almost let out a breath of relief as he heard that, more than happy to finally get some time with his son. “Alright big guy here’s what I need you to do,” he said before gently setting Holden down in front of him. “Do you think you can pack some clothes in your bag while I go talk to daddy? You just need pajamas, pants, a shirt and some underwear okay? Maybe a couple toys too.”
Holden nodded and said a quiet “okay” before he looked around his room for his backpack.
Robert let out a small breath as he watched the toddler begin to look through his dresser before he pushed himself off the bed and made his way downstairs to tell Aaron what he was doing. He could see the back of the older lad as he sat on the couch, his shoulders slumped and shaking, his hands hiding his face and quiet cries escaping him. And all Robert did was stand in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for Aaron to pick his head up to look at him.
“Robert…” Aaron barely managed to choke out as he shook his head. “I-I’m so-”
“Stop,” Robert said, not wanting to talk about them, not wanting to hear the older lad’s excuses. “I didn’t come down here to talk about us, I’m here for Holden.”
Aaron opened his mouth to say something, but just at looking at the younger lad he saw that he was beyond furious, beyond hurt and above anything else he seemed like the last thing he wanted to do was talk to him.
“I just wanted to tell you that I’m taking Holden for the night… He’s really upset and he wants to come with me, so he is,” Robert said, laying it out straight for Aaron.
“What?” Aaron asked, snapping his head up and pushing himself off the couch. “Robert you don’t get to make a decision like that, you can’t just-”
“Aaron I’m his father too and from where I’m standing it looks like I’m the only one who actually cares about how he feels,” Robert said angrily, straining himself not to yell at the older lad for lying to Holden, for hurting him the way he did.
“Robert don’t you dare say that I don’t care,” Aaron said through gritted teeth.
“Aaron what have you done to show that you care?!” Robert asked, suddenly raising his voice. “These past two weeks have been nothing but pure hell for me and I’m sure Holden hasn’t been that happy near you either!!” he yelled, making the older lad freeze and his face fall. “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean everyone around you has to be!!!”
Robert kept his eyes on Aaron before shaking his head at him and turning on his heel to check on Holden. He stomped up the stairs, letting out deep breaths as he went along, trying to make sure he was calm before he checked on the toddler.
“Hey big guy, you ready to go?” Robert asked softly as he walked into his bedroom.
“Yeah,” Holden said through a small smile before running at the older man and letting him scoop him up.
Robert couldn’t help but smile to himself as he saw Holden already feeling a little better. “Let’s check this bag buddy, make sure you have what you need.”
He made sure Holden had the clothes he needed and some toys before carrying him into the bathroom and getting his toothbrush. And when they made their way down the stairs Aaron was in the same spot Robert left him in. His jaw still slack, his cheeks tear stained and hands nearly shaking at the sight of Robert taking Holden.
“Want to say bye to daddy?” Robert asked softly as he shifted Holden on his hip.
Holden bit his lip as he rested his head on Robert’s shoulder and looked to his father. “Bye daddy,” he said quietly.
Aaron wanted to break down in sobs as he saw and heard his son. He couldn’t believe this was happening, that Robert was actually taking him. But he didn’t know how he could stop the younger lad. Holden wanted to go with him and Robert wanted to spend time with him. Aaron couldn’t keep getting in the middle of two seeing how much it was hurting them.
“Bye buddy, I’ll really miss you,” Aaron said, offering his son the best smile he could muster as he felt his eyes pooling with tears and he took a step closer to them.
He opened his arms just slightly and Aaron was sure he could hear his heart breaking at the sight of Holden looking at him for a moment, not even sure if he wanted to hug him. But when he leaned out of Robert’s arms and hugged his daddy gently Aaron couldn’t help but feel a few tears slip.
“Remember daddy loves you big guy,” Aaron said quietly through a shaky breath before squeezing his son and kissing his head gently.
Holden let go of his daddy slowly and nodded at him before resting his head back on Robert’s shoulder.
Robert looked between the two, his eyes lingering on Aaron as the older lad wiped his wet eyes and refused to look at him. “Go get your shoes on R,” he said, placing the toddler down, and when he went of to get his shoes he stood up and eyed the blue eyed lad. “Look at me,” Robert said almost firmly.
Aaron bit his lip as he shook his head, his tears coming out faster and faster before finally picking his head up and looking at Robert.
“If you ever try to keep him from me again…” Robert trailed off quietly, locking his eyes on the older lad. “Aaron I swear to God I will do everything in my power to see him… I’ll break down your Goddamn door, I’ll fight Ross off, I don’t care...Don’t do it again.”
Aaron nodded, everything that he’s done in the past two week crashing down on him, making him realize how much damage he’s done. Not just to Holden, but to Robert. “W-when can we talk…? W-we need to-”
“You need to figure your shit out before you hurt anyone else Aaron,” Robert said as he shook his head at the older lad. “I waited for over two weeks for you to talk to me… I went to the school and in return I got bDianed from ever going there again. I came here and you sent Ross to scare me away. And then after today, and how much you hurt Holden… I’m sorry Aaron, but I don’t want to talk to you right now,” he said quietly.
And all Aaron could do was nod. He knew that if he tried to talk nothing but hiccups and coughs would come out from how much he was crying. And when Robert walked over to Holden and picked him up he didn’t even send Aaron a second glance before walking out the door with the toddler.
Aaron thought he could never cry as much as he did when Robert left the first time, when he broke up with him. But at seeing the younger lad leave again, this time with Holden, he broke down and cried like he never had before.
He was sure the sound of his sobs and screams could be heard from outside, that if anyone was near they could hear how much pain he was in.
Maybe Aaron deserved this though. He hurt and lied to son just because he was scared, and after being in Robert’s arms, after feeling his lips on his in years he broke his heart. And after trying to do everything and anything he could to not get hurt Aaron had never felt this low in his entire life.
Holden was gone, Robert was gone, and Aaron wasn’t sure if he could ever get the man he once loved to forgive him. He didn’t know if the same man, the one he still to this day loves would ever take him back.
*~*
Robert perked his head up as he heard the lift ding and he looked down to Holden in his lap, a small smile creeping onto his lips as he saw the toddler still sleeping.
“Hey,” Adam said quietly, seeing the passed out 3 year old on his best mate. “How you doin mate?” he asked, taking a seat on the recliner.
Robert bit his lip as he shook his head and gently ran his hand up and down Holden’s back. “I don’t know…” he barely whispered. “I’m so happy and relieved to have him back,” Robert said, looking down at his son. “But Aaron just… I don’t know what to do.”
“Did he not talk to you?” Adam asked with furrowed eyebrows, thinking that with him screaming at the older lad earlier today it would have hit Aaron to say something to Robert.
“He wanted to talk…” Robert said quietly. “But now after everything… I don’t even know what I want.”
Adam bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded, just a bit taken back by what the younger lad had said. “Mate… Have thought that maybe it’s time to move on?” he asked carefully. “Maybe find someone who actually treats you right or someone who doesn’t hurt you?”
Robert shifted his eyes from his sleeping son to Adam before letting out a deep breath and shaking his head. “Adam I know you’re not his biggest fan right now… But I love him,” he said as he shrugged and felt his throat get tight, unable to deny it.
“R I know you do,” Adam said softly. “But I can’t just sit and watch him hurt you over and over again. Enough is enough.”
“We just need to talk, like actually talk,” Robert said, trying to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake Holden.
“And do you actually think after you talk everything will be magically fixed?” Adam asked with raised eyebrows. “That everything that happened in the past 4 years, that happened just today will be forgotten?”
“I don’t want it to be forgotten,” Robert said as he shook his head. “I don’t care how much work or how long it takes… I know one day we’ll be back where we were.”
“So that’s what you want then? You want to be with him and make everything right again?” Adam asked, trying to help his best mate figure all of this out, wanting him to realize what he was getting himself in to.
Robert let out a deep breath as he nodded, that being what he’s wanted for years. “But Ads I’m… I’m so scared,” he barely whispered. “I keep putting myself out there and everytime I do he pulls away… I just… I can’t keep getting shoved off.”
Adam was furious at Aaron and he doesn’t know how long it will take for him to forgive the older lad after everything. But he also wanted to help his mate, he wanted to be there for him no matter what he chose to do. “R you of all people know how sensitive and terrified Aaron is of stuff like this,” he said quietly. “Ya know after everything that happened with Matt, then you came along, after years of you not being there you come back, add his best mate who he trusts more than anything in the world and finding out he’s been lying to him… I’m sure it’s a lot for him to sort out without having someone there to help him through it…”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded and carefully shifted Holden on his lap. He knows right now all Aaron really has is Ross, but he also remembers that the older lad told him that Ross is sometimes there and sometimes not. They’re best mates but Robert doesn’t think that Aaron has ever fully trusted Ross like he did Pete. Not only that but Ross didn’t know everything about Aaron’s past like Pete did, a past that Robert was very much a part of. And maybe Aaron found it hard to talk to him sometimes and not get the support he needed.
“I just don’t know how many more times we can hurt each other before completely falling apart,” Robert muttered. “Cause Adam I… I can’t keep feeling like this,” he said through a shaky breath, almost feeling the all too familiar tears returning to him.
“Then don’t R,” Adam said softly. “When you’re ready to talk and he’s ready to talk then talk. You don’t need to rush into it and don’t expect anything right away. But you two really need to clear everything up before anything else happens.”
Robert nodded, knowing Adam was right but it was so hard to just wait. He was tired and hurt after everything that’s happened, not just these past two weeks but the past 5 years, since he met the older lad. But the same question was all of this worth it, the pain, the crying, the drinking, the waiting kept popping into his head. And when Robert looked down at his son in his arms his question was more than easily answered.
That and more was worth it if he got Holden in the end, if at the end of the night he had him in his arms. He could only hope that one day Aaron could figure out what he wants. That one day Aaron would accept or realize that he loved him too.
*~*
Aaron perked his head up as he heard a knock at the door, but that was just before it swung open and a very Loud Holden ran through it.
“R! Shoes!” Robert called behind him, not wanting the toddler to run through the house with his shoes on.
Aaron bit his lip at the younger lad’s voice and pushed himself off the couch to meet them in the foyer. But before he could even fully make it there he felt a little body crash into him.
“Daddy!” Holden said excitedly, hugging his father tightly.
“Hey buddy,” Aaron said a bit surprised as he scooped his son up and kissed his head. He figured that Holden would still be mad at him, but if anything the toddler was hugging him like he loved him more than anything in the world. “Did you have fun with Robert?”
“Yes!!” Holden said happily before taking his father’s glasses off his nose and putting them on himself. “Robert make dinner and we color and play guitar and watch movie and eat snacks!”
“I’m happy you had such a good night big guy,” Aaron said softly, offering his son a small smile. It was definitely much better night than the one he had. “I want to hear all about it and I have to talk to you but first I want to talk to Robert real quick, okay?” he asked, pulling his glasses off the 3 year old’s nose and putting them in his pocket.
“Okay daddy,” Holden said, nodding at his father before giving him one more quick hug, kissing his cheek and wiggling out of his arms.
Aaron followed after his son with his eyes and he couldn’t even express how grateful he was that Holden was feeling so much better, that he actually wanted to be near him at all after yesterday. But when he looked back to Robert he could see the younger lad’s eyes already on him, him definitely not over what happened yesterday, but Aaron didn’t blame him.
“Uhm, hey,” he said quietly as he bit his lip and shifted his weight on his feet. “Listen I uhm… Just thank you for taking him last night,” Aaron said, shifting his gaze to the floor. “And thank you for helping him when I couldn’t…”
Robert let out a quiet breath and nodded at the older lad before taking a step closer to him and passing him Holden’s backpack. “Of course,” he said softly, knowing yesterday that both Aaron and Holden needed their own time. “Have you uhm… Well when do you want to talk about everything?” Robert asked, scratching the back of his neck and biting his lip.
“Robert I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but I’m still thinking a bit,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “And it’s not that I’m thinking about what I want, because I figured that out last night… But I just need to think about what I’m going to say to you because it’s there that I always get stuck and nervous and that’s why we’re in the position we’re in now and I can’t hurt you anymore and-”
“Aaron, Aaron!” Robert said quickly, needing the older lad to relax. “It’s fine, I get it,” he said softly. “Just when you’re ready come and talk to me yeah?”
If possible Aaron only felt more awful as he heard how gently Robert was talking to him, how he was giving him time and was willing to even hear him out after everything. “Thanks R…”
Robert snapped his head up and looked at the older lad, only to find Aaron looking right back at him with a small grateful smile. “Sure,” he said, nodding at him.
Aaron nodded back as he pressed his lips together and shuffled on his feet. “So I’ll uhm, I’ll text you about Holden and when we can talk and all that.”
Robert bit his lip, again nodding at the Aaron before he said a quiet “thanks” and went off to say bye to Holden. And when he had kissed and hugged his son to the point he was whining and squirming in his arms Robert finally let him go before saying his goodbye’s to Aaron and heading out to his car.
“Hey Holden!” Aaron called from the living room. “C’mere buddy! I wanna talk!”
Aaron wasn’t even able to sit before he heard the little patter of feet and felt a small body climb over the back of the couch.
“Here daddy,” Holden said through a giggle as he got situated on the couch.
“Oh I didn’t see you there,” Aaron said teasingly as he rolled his eyes fondly and pulled his son into his lap. “So I wanted to talk to you about yesterday,” he said quietly.
“Okay,” Holden said as he leaned back against his daddy’s chest.
Aaron swallowed thickly, still not believing what he did yesterday, or what he’s been doing to his son for the past two weeks. “I just wanted to say how sorry I was for making you so upset,” he said softly. “I feel awful for making you cry and driving away when you wanted to see Robert… I really am incredibly sorry buddy.”
Holden bit his lip as he nodded against his daddy and let out a quiet breath. “Why you no let me see Robert?” he asked quietly. “Robert say he no at work so why I no see him?”
“Because daddy was being selfish and didn’t want to see Robert… And because I didn’t want to see him that meant you couldn’t either, and again I’m so so sorry R, that wasn’t right of daddy to do,” Aaron said as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around the toddler.
“Daddy needs to go in time out,” Holden said as he looked up at his father.
“You want me to go in time out?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows.
Holden nodded and hummed as he climbed off of his father’s lap and pointed to the corner where his time out stool was. “Because you bad you go in time out and then everything okay,” he said, that usually being what his daddy says when he gets in trouble and has to go sit on his stool.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth but got up from the couch anyway before making his way to the tiny stool in the corner and taking a seat on it, praying he wouldn’t break it. If this is what it cost for his son to forgive him then this is what he’ll do. And when he looked back to Holden the toddler seemed very pleased as he giggled at his daddy and covered his little mouth with his hands.
“You’re enjoying this too much,” Aaron muttered through a small smile.
“Daddy you no talk in time out!! That add two minutes!” Holden said, that being his father’s rule.
“You’re not even keeping track of the time!” Aaron pointed out.
He could hear his son begin to laugh harder and all Aaron could do was roll his eyes fondly. But just as he was about to say something else Aaron heard a creak from under him, followed by a snap of the wooden leg, making him fall to the floor on top of the broken stool.
Aaron groaned from his spot on the floor as he picked up the broken wood from under him and threw it to the side. That was just before he felt a little body not so gracefully climb on him and begin to bounce.
“I surrender, I give up, no more,” Aaron mumbled.
“Okay daddy, time out done and you sorry, I forgive,” Holden said, smiling widely at his father and patting his hair.
Aaron couldn’t help the small grin that came to him as he slowly sat up and wrapped his arms around his boy. “I love you R, always,” he said quietly before kissing the toddler’s hair.
“I love you too daddy,” Holden mumbled into his neck before kissing his cheek and giving him one more squeeze.
And that was music to Aaron’s ears after everything that’s happened. He had his son back in his arms and all was forgiven. Now all Aaron had to do was talk to Robert, and he knew that he couldn’t win him over nearly as easily as he did Holden. But he had to explain, had to listen and had to try in order to make things right.
*~*
Aaron let out a deep breath as he stepped out of the lift and looked around the seemingly empty flat. He had texted Robert over an hour ago that he was coming over but never actually got a response from the younger lad. He had seen him earlier after he dropped Holden off and he told him to expect his text about when they could talk. Maybe Robert didn’t think it’d be this soon though. But after sitting around for a half hour Ross told him to just go, assured him that he had Holden and to take his time with Robert.
So now here he was, aimlessly looking around Robert’s flat, trying to find him so they could talk. But after looking in the kitchen, the living room and even popping his head into Robert’s bedroom he couldn’t find him. So that meant there was only one other room he could be in and if he wasn’t in there then he wasn’t home at all.
Aaron made his way to the music room, pressing his ear to the door and sure enough he heard music playing. He turned the door handle gently, just barely cracking it open before he really heard the music blasting through the speakers. (X)
Aaron peeked through the crack of the door, seeing Robert sitting at his drumset with a microphone in front of him, his eyes closed and words coming out softly as the other instruments he probably recorded early played in the background.
And all Aaron could do was just watch and listen to him. The words that he sang like many of Robert’s other songs reminded him so much of them, of what they were going through. And also like many of his other songs it was heartbreaking in one of the worst ways.
There was so much truth, hurt and pain behind what he was singing Aaron didn’t know what to think other than “this is all my fault”. And when he got further into the song, all of the instruments getting Aaronder, Robert for the first time bringing up his arms to play the drum they were quick taps, and with every tap his muscles flexed, his singing stopping and his face getting harder as he fell more into it.
Aaronder and Aaronder everything got, Robert’s arms moving faster, hitting the drums harder until he couldn’t anymore. And just when Aaron thought it was getting to the high point Robert opened his mouth to sing, belting out what sounded like Loud, painfully, perfectly pitched cries.
Aaron stood there still as he watched the younger lad, his arms going crazy and mouth open, eyes squeezed shut as he released these notes that mimicked one’s crying. If possible it made the song more heartbreaking, almost too sad to bear before Robert stopped singing, his drumsticks slamming down on the instrument and silent tears escaping him as he played.
It was hard to watch, impossible to listen to without feeling everything Robert was. But now more than ever Aaron knew he had to make things right, he had to fix all of this with Robert.
He wanted to wait until the younger lad was done playing though before he walked into the room, not wanting to startle him, but the song didn’t even end before Robert was up from his seat, chucking his drumsticks against the wall and letting out a frustrated scream at the top of his lungs.
Aaron didn’t waste a second before pushing the door open, seeing that Robert was a second away from picking up the closest thing and throwing it.
He rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around the younger lad from behind to keep him from freaking out. Aaron could hear his cries, could feel him struggling against him until he forced Robert to turn around to look at him. And as soon as blue met tear filled green the younger lad didn’t waste a second before wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him into his chest.
Aaron swallowed thickly and let out a few deep breaths before he carefully rubbed Robert’s back, only being reminded of what it felt like to be in the younger man’s arms. “Robert what’s wrong?” he asked softly, wanting him to calm down.
“I-I didn’t know if you were ever going to come back, if you were going to talk to me,” Robert choked out as he shook his head.
“R I texted you, I said I was coming over so we could talk,” Aaron said with furrowed eyebrows as he pulled away slightly from him.
“I’m sorry, my phone’s in my room, I just… I dropped Holden off at your place and came in here and I kept overthinking everything and I didn’t know if-”
“Stop, stop, it’s fine,” Aaron said, needing Robert to relax. “I’m here now, we can talk yeah?” he asked as he rubbed the younger lad’s arm.
Robert wiped his wet eyes as he nodded to himself and let out a few deep breaths. “Yeah, yeah, we can talk.”
“Good,” Aaron said, offering him a small smile. “And I mean actually talk, not scream or yell,” he said a bit jokingly.
“I won’t if you won’t,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, getting a nod from the older lad before he followed him out the door and to the living room.
As they walked there though Robert didn’t even know where they should begin, what they should sort out first. There were so many things to clear up, so many things he wanted to tell Aaron and he was sure that the older lad felt the same. It was just a matter of talking about these things without screaming, without blaming each other.
“I don’t uhm… I don’t really know where to start,” Aaron said quietly once they were settled on the couch.
“That makes two of us,” Robert said through a quiet breath as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Do you uhm, do you want to go back to the beginning? Sort that out first?”
Aaron nodded, himself letting out a deep breath as he ran his hands over his face, trying to mentally and physically prepare himself for all of this.
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Robert asked quietly. “When you found out, why couldn’t you tell me?”
“Robert I told you I was terrified,” Aaron said softly. “We were only dating for a year, you were always travelling and I… Well I was going to tell you after that party, but then you announced you were going on tour and just… I felt like we couldn’t have a baby, we couldn’t be a family with you being gone for months, I just got more scared…”
“Were you going to break up with me?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, feeling his throat tighten.
“No, no, of course not,” Aaron rushed out. “It’s just that I felt like I was going to ruin your career or hold you back and I couldn’t do that, not after you worked so hard… And I was going to tell you I swear I was, I just didn’t know how and that’s why I went to Pete… He was trying to help me sort it all out.”
Robert had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes just at Pete’s name. “I just… I wished you talked to me,” he barely whispered. “You know together we could’ve figured it out.”
Aaron nodded, knowing that now, but back then even at the thought of Robert knowing they were going to have a baby put him in tears. “I wish I did too… I just wished we talked in general… Like me with the baby, you with Pete, all of that.”
Robert bit his lip as he looked down to his hands and let out a quiet breath. He knew if he talked to Aaron about Pete he wouldn’t have thought that the older lad was cheating on him, and all of that miscommunication would’ve been cleared up. Robert wouldn’t have yelled at Aaron at that party, he would’ve listened to him when he was trying to tell him he was pregnant and they wouldn’t have broken up, he wouldn’t have left.
“We both really fucked up didn’t we?” he mumbled into his hands. “Aaron I’m just so sorry… For everything I did to you,” Robert said just Loud enough for the older lad to hear as he felt tears pool in his eyes. “I’m sorry for how I yelled at you, how I wouldn’t listen to you… For what I called you… I’m just so so sorry,” he said, shaking his head and letting a few tears slip, thinking back to that day all those years ago. “I-I was just so hurt… It felt like you left me, like you didn’t love me a-and in my mind you were the bad guy but it was really me,” Robert said, feeling steady tears stream down his cheeks. “I-I left you with a baby and a broken heart and-”
“Robert stop,” Aaron said softly as he shook his head. “I get why you left, I mean I understand now and yeah it hurt like hell but it was my fault for not talking to you or telling you… It’s not like we can blame one person, we both messed up,” he said as he bit his lip.
“T-then why do I still feel like all of this is my f-fault?” Robert choked out. “I-I missed Holden growing up and you did try to tell me, y-you tried to stop me from leaving but I-”
“Robert,” Aaron said, stopping him again as he reached a careful hand over and gently rubbed the younger lad’s back. “You’re back now… And I know you’re here to stay,” he said quietly. “That’s what matters.”
Robert nodded as he sniffled to himself and tried to calm down. He rubbed his hands over his face, not even able to imagine how much he hurt Aaron being gone all those years, leaving him to raise Holden all by himself and having to figure out where to live, how to afford everything.
“And I’m sorry too,” Aaron said as he could see the younger lad relax a bit. “I didn’t tell you anything and I was avoiding you and spent all my time with Pete, I understand why you thought maybe something was going on between us… I basically drove you away so this is my fault too…”
The two were quiet for a moment, the only thing heard in the room being Robert’s quiet sniffles, but Aaron was trying himself to keep it together. If anything he was more than happy they weren’t screaming at each other, but actually talking. And even if they were heavy topics, even if it drove them to tears at the memories of being hurt the way they were it was all more than worth it.
“W-why did you kiss me?” Robert asked suddenly, breaking the silence. “Two weeks ago when you kissed me back, why?”
It was this that Aaron was scared of, what he was terrified to talk about. But it was time he told the younger lad, time he stopped pretending. And even if his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest, even if he couldn’t meet Robert’s eyes he had to say it.
“Robert I… I-I never stopped…-” Aaron cut himself off, shaking his head and feeling his own tears pool in his eyes as he pulled his hand off the younger lad’s back.
He hid his face in his hands, feeling his tears stream down his cheeks at what he was about to say. But Aaron had to keep reminding himself that Robert wasn’t going anywhere, that he wouldn’t hurt him the way he did when he left all those years ago. His words kept getting stuck though, finding himself on the verge of saying it before he shut his mouth again and felt more tears fall.
“C’mere,” Robert said quietly as he gently pulled the older lad into his side, letting him cry on his shoulder. “Aaron you know I’m here to stay, you know it’s okay,” he whispered to him.
“R… I-I’m scared,” Aaron hiccuped against him. “W-when you left the first time I couldn’t, I-I-”
“Shh, Aaron I’m here now, you know-”
Aaron shook his head, stopping the younger lad as he felt his tears really start to fall. “R-Robert you hurt me a-and left me when y-you promised you never would… A-and I know y-you keep saying that you’re g-gonna stay and I-I believe you but I-I just think to R-how much it hurt and I can’t do that a-again, I-I can’t.”
“And you won’t,” Robert said almost firmly as he carefully wiped the older lad’s eyes.
Aaron could feel himself really start to choke up, his breathing coming out shakily and heart feeling like someone was squeezing it, but he had to get all of this off his chest. “Robert I-I wanted to hate you for so long… A-after you left my God did I want to R-hate you,” he sniffled out. “But I-I never could, I never did…” Aaron said before swallowing thickly and looking up to the younger lad.
He couldn’t even say how much he missed looking at those bright green eyes, how much he missed being in Robert’s arms and feeling his lips on his own. For years he’s missed everything that was Robert and now that he was back Aaron needed him to stay, he couldn’t let him go ever again.
“I-I kissed you back because I still love you… I-I never stopped loving you, I couldn’t,” Aaron barely managed to say through his quiet sobs.
Robert looked down at the older lad, his breath coming up short as he pulled him impossibly closer to his side. “Then why did you leave?” he asked so quietly he wasn’t sure Aaron heard him. “I wanted you to stay, I wanted to talk to you but instead you just ran away…”
“Because everyone leaves Robert, I-I thought y-you would just leave again, I-I was scared,” Aaron said, looking right back up at the younger lad with tear filled eyes. “Everything going on with Pete a-and you came back and as s-soon as I saw you I-I felt like I did all those years ago b-but when we kissed I remembered just R-how much I loved you and I couldn’t get hurt, not a-again,” he said, shaking his head against Robert’s shoulder.
“Aaron I won’t hurt you… I never stopped loving you, I couldn’t leave you again, even if you wanted me to leave, I couldn’t,” Robert barely whispered. “I want to make things right with you… I want to try again.”
Aaron sniffled to himself as he wiped his wet eyes and blinked at the younger lad. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” Robert said through a small smile as if that was a ridicuAarons question. “I want you and Holden. That’s all I’ve wanted for a while now...”
Aaron let out a deep breath as he rested his head back on Robert’s shoulder, trying to keep his thoughts under control, trying not to overthink this and make a mess of everything again. “What do we do?” he asked quietly.
Robert bit his lip as he thought for a second, running his hand up and down the older lad’s back. “We make a plan about what we’re going to do with Holden,” he said, that above anything needing to come first. “As for us… We take it slow. We get to know each other again and feel things out for a while… And we won’t fuck on the first date like last time,” he said, muffling a laugh into Aaron’s hair and getting a jab in the side from him. “Unless you want to of course, I mean I have no problem with that.”
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully as he hit the younger lad on the chest, only getting another laugh out of him. “You’re so ridicuAarons,” he muttered through a small smile.
Robert shrugged, knowing very well that he was ridicuAarons but it always got Aaron smiling. “But really, is that okay?” he asked seriously. “Like are you okay taking it slow and everything?”
“It’s more than okay,” Aaron said, himself not wanting to jump into things like they had when they first started dating.
Robert bit back his smile as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that he had Aaron back in his arms and they were both here to stay. It’s what he’s been waiting for for years, and now he had Holden, it was too good to be true.
But sure enough Aaron stayed cuddled into his side, talking about what they were going to do with Holden. In the end they decided Robert would pick up Holden from daycare everyday and spend time with him before they all had dinner at Aaron’s house. But on Friday’s and Saturday’s Holden would go to Robert’s and eat and sleep there for the night, and Robert was sure to pass along an invitation to Aaron, telling him to of course join them whenever he wanted. And Aaron may have said he would take him up on that offer, trying to bite back his smile as he said it.
When everything was answered, cleared up and said Robert walked Aaron down to his car, he couldn’t shake off the way he was feeling. He hasn’t felt this light, this good in years and Robert only hoped that this time he could keep it this way.
“So, my place tomorrow night?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows as they stopped at his car. “It’s Thursday, so you know what that means,” he said, sending the younger lad a small smile.
“Oh I could never miss pizza night, are you crazy?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh. “Anything you want me to bring? Does R have all the snacks his little heart desires?”
“Trust me our sugar cabinet is more than stocked,” Aaron said through his own chuckle. “I just need you.”
Robert hummed as he tried to fight off his smile, but in the end let it slip. “Then it’s just me you’ll get,” he said, taking a step closer to the older lad and placing a gentle hand on his hip.
“Good,” Aaron breathed out through a small grin.
If possible Robert’s smile widened as he stepped even closer to Aaron and he could see something in the older lad’s eyes. It wasn’t his usual nervousness or the worry that flashed across his face. But it was replaced with a look of comfort, of love.
“If I kiss you again…” Robert started off quietly, leaning in so close he was just mere centimeters away from the older lad’s lips. “Would you run away?”
Aaron looked up at Robert before bringing up one of his hands and gently carding his fingers through the back of his curls before shaking his head. “Never again,” he barely whispered.
And that was all Robert needed to hear before moving the rest of the way in, softly pressing their lips together and feeling everything he’s been missing.
He could feel Aaron smiling against him and even when they pulled away it was still there, that smile that Robert would do anything to see more often.
“So much for taking it slow,” Aaron teased as he gently ran his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s curls.
“C’mon this is taking it slow,” Robert scoffed as he wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist. “That was like a cute little peck.”
Aaron hummed before rolling his eyes, patting Robert’s chest and getting out of his arms. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he unlocked his car and opened the door.
“I have a meeting with Clara in the morning so if I don’t answer my phone I’m sorry,” Robert said as he watched the older lad get in his car and he leaned down to talk to him through the open window. “Don’t worry though it’ll definitely be over before I have to pick up Holden.”
“Alright just text me when you can,” Aaron said, offering him a small smile. “You know I have class anyway and musical rehearsals so it’s okay.”
Robert nodded at the older lad before grinning back at him and leaning into the car, stealing a quick kiss from him. And even if he got an eyeroll from Aaron Robert knew it was a playful one before they both said their goodnights and the older lad began to drive away. But as Robert watched the car leave the parking lot it was so much different now than it was two weeks ago, and he didn’t think he could ever get used to how he was feeling. Robert was sure he didn’t want to get used to it though.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Just A Little Bit Of Your HeartAriana Grande3:57
Don’t Let Me GoRobert Sugden3:50
The OneKodaline4:04
All I WantKodaline4:57
The OneSam Smith3:08
Make It To MeSam Smith3:09
Lay Me DownSam Smith4:01
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
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Chapter 8
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Holden,” Aaron groaned through a quiet laugh as he tried to pry his son’s arms off from around his leg, desperately needing to go into the kitchen.
“Daddy go!!” Holden said as he giggled to himself, wanting to ride on his father’s leg as he walked.
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully as he tried picking up his leg and just barely took a step with Holden’s weight on him. But with some extra force he managed to swing his leg and make his son squeal as he held on for dear life. “My goodness you’re getting heavy,” Aaron said, unable to stop his laughter as he walked into the kitchen, Holden refusing to let go of him.
“Cause I growing!!” Holden said excitedly as he let go of his daddy and smiled happily up at him.
“Ugh, don’t say stuff like that,” Aaron said through a small pout. “You’re always gonna be my baby boy,” he said, leaning down to kiss Holden’s head before getting out paper plates for when Robert shows up with the pizza.
“I know daddy,” Holden said softly before wrapping his arms around his father and hugging him.
Aaron smiled down at the 3 year and pulled him into his side, unable to grasp how big Holden is, how fast he was growing. And if he was being completely honest he hated it, but there was nothing he could do about it.
A second later both Dingle boys perked their heads up, hearing the door open, and Holden was quick to run towards the foyer, squealing a Loud “Robert!!” as he saw the older man.
“Easy big guy! We can’t drop the pizza!” Robert said through a Loud laugh, scooping up the toddler and balancing him in one arm while his other carried the pizza.
Aaron bit his lip as he saw the two come into the kitchen, trying to hold back his small smile at the sight of the curly haired lad. “R go wash your hands before we eat please.”
Holden nodded quickly before wiggling out of Robert’s arms and running to the bathroom.
“Thought you were talking to me, I was confused,” Robert said through a chuckle as he put the pizza on the counter and smiled down at the older lad.
“Well you need to wash your hands too. I just thought with you being 25 you wouldn’t have to be reminded,” Aaron said a bit teasingly.
Robert rolled his eyes as he took a step closer to Aaron and placed a gentle hand on his hip, but just as he was about to lean in to give him a quick kiss he noticed the older lad turn his head to get his cheek instead. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at him confused but before he could utter anything Aaron beat him to it.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Aaron said quietly as he bit the inside of his cheek and shuffled on his feet.
“Everything okay?” Robert asked with a touch of worry in his voice.
“Yeah, yeah, everythings fine,” Aaron said, nodding to himself and letting out a deep breath, finally picking his head up to look at the younger lad. “I just… Well I’ve been thinking the past couple days and you’ve said some things and I uhm… Well I think that maybe, if you’re okay with it to uhm, to tell Holden… Ya know.”
Robert felt his jaw go slack as he heard Aaron, he wasn’t even sure he was breathing at what the older lad was saying. “Tell him? You mean tell him I’m his… That I-I’m-”
“That you’re his dad?” Aaron asked through a small smile. “Yeah, if you’re okay with it,” he said softly.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” Robert said, unable to stop the wide smile that came to him. “Shit, yes, you don’t even have to ask,” he said, nearly jumping where he was from feeling so excited.
Aaron laughed to himself as he saw Robert freaking out a bit, but he had to remind him of something. “R listen,” he said quietly, reaching for the younger lad’s arm to steady him. “I don’t want to make you feel bad or upset you… But I need to remind you that you haven’t been here,” Aaron said softly. “He has asked about his other parent before you came around and I just want to warn you he might be upset, he might wonder where you were and why you couldn’t be here.”
Robert’s smile fell a bit, not thinking about how Holden might ask where he’s been, why he hasn’t been there for him. “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?” he asked just Loud enough for the older lad to hear.
“Robert I don’t know,” Aaron said quietly as he shook his head. “He’s 3, so it may not so much be mad at you, but sad and hurt… That’s the worst case though.”
Robert bit his lip, now more or less terrified that Holden would be upset with him. But he still desperately wanted to tell him, to let the 3 year old know that he’s going to be here now and that he has no plans of going anywhere. “When do we tell him then? Or do I tell him? Are you going to be in the room- wait what the hell do I even say to him? I can’t just-”
“Daddy! Robert come on!” Holden groaned as he ran back into the room with clean hands. “I’m hungry!” he said tugging on his daddy’s fingers.
“We’ll be right there buddy, go get in your seat,” Aaron said, giving Holden’s hand a gentle squeeze before he ran off. Aaron focused his gaze back to Robert, the younger lad letting out a few deeps, probably realizing what they were about to do. “R I’ll do whatever you want,” he said softly. “I’ll be in the room, or I don’t have to be, even if you want I’ll tell him. Just whatever makes you comfortable.”
Robert nodded as he combed his fingers through the front of his curls and tried to calm his racing thoughts. “Can uhm, can we tell him when we put him down for bed?” he asked quietly, getting a nod from the older lad. “And maybe uhm, maybe you can tell him because you’ll do a better job of explaining it to him than me, but I want to be there of course.”
Aaron offered Robert a small smile, it being clear he was more than nervous before he gave the younger lad’s arm a gentle squeeze and made his way to the dining room with the pizza box.
Robert let out one more deep breath, desperately trying to relax as he followed Aaron to the dining room and took a seat. He couldn’t believe that tonight was really the night, that Holden was going to find out he was his father. It was all exciting and everything Robert has been waiting for, but he was still terrified for the toddler’s reaction.
And as they ate their dinner as usual Holden was talking their ears off. Tonight it was all about how much he liked Robert picking him up at daycare and how he was excited for their sleepover tomorrow night.
Robert had to say he really enjoyed the extra time with Holden too. Today after daycare they went back to his flat, played some instruments before Robert drove them to Aaron’s dropped the 3 year old off, went to pick up their pizza and now here they were. Even if it was only two or three extra hours he spent with the toddler it was nice to have some them time.
But Holden was also beyond excited for their sleepover tomorrow, he was talking with his mouth full and it sounded like he wasn’t even breathing from talking so much and so fast. But with both Robert and his daddy reminding him he was quick to swallow his food, take a few breaths and relax before he went right back into what he was talking about.
And all dinner Robert could just listen and smile at the 3 year old as he went on and on. His feet were tangled under the table with Aaron’s, Holden was confusing himself with how much he was talking and there was no other place Robert would want to be.
Even when they were sitting on the couch, Holden squished between his daddy and Robert with his popcorn and tiny cup of soda in his lap. As Tangled played on the screen the toddler’s eyes were locked on the movie, Robert looked between the two Dingles, both of them completely engrossed in what they were watching. He bit back a small smile as he draped his arm over the back of the couch and carefully moved his hand, gently running his fingers over the nape of Aaron’s neck.
It was only a second later the older lad turned to look at him, and Robert was just grateful Aaron didn’t pull away, instead he just offered him a small grin before turning back to the tv. And Robert couldn’t fight off his own smile as it grew, his fingers brushing through the back of the older lad’s feathery hair. Even if the movie was playing in the background Robert didn’t pay much attention to it, instead he looked between the two boys next to him, Holden squished between them and Aaron leaning into his touch. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.
But when the movie was over and Holden was whining about not wanting to go to bed Robert felt his nerves pick up, his mind racing with the thought that he was about to tell Holden he was his dad. And Aaron must’ve noticed too because when he reached to pick up Holden and carry him to his room the older lad gave his arm a gentle squeeze as he walked past him and nodded for him to follow.
So Robert released a deep breath and tried it ignore how hard his heart was beating as he followed Aaron up the stairs. He watched by the doorframe as the older lad got Holden into his pajamas and they brushed teeth before actually climbing into bed and getting under the covers. And with every minute that passed Robert couldn’t stop his racing thoughts, the flashes of images of how Holden might react when they tell him. But he didn’t even have time to overthink too hard before it was time, before he walked fully into the room and knelt by his son’s bed as Aaron was sitting with Holden.
“Hey buddy, so uhm, Robert and I wanted to talk to you,” Aaron said softly once he saw the toddler comfortable in his bed.
“Okay daddy,” Holden said, seeing Rob come into the room and he pat his bed, immediately making the little cat jump up and snuggle into his side.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over to Robert, the younger lad looking more nervous by the second before he turned back to his son. “Do you remember when you had to do that family project in day care and you had to bring in a picture of me?” he asked and when the 3 year old nodded he continued. “And do remember how you said you only have one parent but everyone else has a mummy or daddy?”
Holden bit his lip as he nodded again, remembering how in daycare he was the only one with just a daddy.
Robert looked between the two, not even sure how Aaron was going to explain this and when he did how Holden would react. He would hate if the 3 year old got upset or if he was hurt that he hasn’t been there or that Aaron never told him. Robert just wanted to make sure, to tell Holden that he wasn’t going anywhere ever again, that he was here to stay.
“Well you do have another parent… You have another daddy,” Aaron said softly, watching Holden for a reaction.
Holden stopped petting the cat at his side, slowly picking his head up to look at his father with furrowed eyebrows. “Two daddies?” he asked confused, earning a nod from his daddy. “But who other daddy?” Holden asked quietly.
Robert felt himself swallow thickly and almost still completely as he saw Aaron look over to him and Holden followed his daddy’s gaze. And when he looked down at Holden he opened his mouth, wanting and needing the words to come out but they got stuck.
“Robert?” Holden barely whispered as he looked at the older man. “You… You other daddy?” he asked, trying to figure all of this out.
Robert looked over to Aaron, seeing the older lad offer him a small reassuring smile before nodding to Holden, wanting him to answer the 3 year old. “Y-yeah buddy, I am,” he said quietly, his eyes shifting back to his son. “I uhm, I’m your other dad.”
Holden just looked at him for a few moments, his mouth hung open and entire body still as he kept his eyes on the older man.
And this was exactly what Robert was terrified of, that Holden wouldn’t want him as a dad, that he would be upset and start crying. But just as he was about to speak up a little voice beat him to it.
“Well why you no here?” Holden asked. “Why you no tuck me in bed or why you no here for birthdays or Christmas?”
Robert let out a quiet breath as he reached for the toddler’s little hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, not quite sure how he was going to explain this. “I didn’t know I had to be here buddy,” he said softly. “But what I want you to know is that I’m never gonna miss those things ever again okay? I’ll tuck you in every night and every birthday and every Christmas I’m gonna be right here. I’m not going anywhere R, you can count on that.”
Holden was quiet on his bed, his eyes staying on Robert and seemingly deep in thought as he bit his lip. But then he nodded at the older man and sat up, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck and hugging him tightly.
“I like you as anofer daddy Robert,” Holden said quietly, just barely pulling away to look at him.
Robert swears he was about to start crying right there, but instead he blinked quickly and pulled his son back into his chest before kissing his head. “I love you buddy, always,” he said before kissing the toddler again.
Holden pulled away and nodded at Robert before kissing his cheek and laying back down in his bed with Rob. “Tomorrow sleep over at Robert’s house and we talk more,” he said before getting comfortable under his covers.
Robert had to hold back a laugh as he tucked his son in, making sure to give him one more kiss before saying goodnight.
Aaron followed his actions, kissing Holden all over his face and petting Rob quickly before turning off the light and leading Robert out of the room.
Robert let out a deep breath as he followed Aaron down the stairs and once they got to the living room he turned to look at the older lad, only to see him trying to blink back tears. “Aaron what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, gently grabbing his arm to stop him from walking away.
“I just…” Aaron shook his head, biting his lip as he looked away from the younger lad. “I-I never thought you would be here with me and telling him this together. I-I never thought you would come back…”
Robert’s face fell slightly as he kept his eyes on Aaron and gently wiped away a tear that fell onto his cheek before wrapping his arms around the older lad and pulling him into his chest. And it was almost immediate Aaron hugged him back, tucking his head into his neck and trying to hold back his tears.
“It’s okay…” Robert said softly as he rubbed Aaron’s back gently. “I’m here now Aaron, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know, I know,” Aaron said as he sniffled to himself, not even believing he was crying in the first place. “I’m just… I’m still processing it all. Like you just being here with Holden and now he knows about you being his dad, it’s a lot.”
Robert nodded, letting out a small breath as he softly ran his hands up and down Aaron’s arms. “It’s okay though right?” he asked quietly. “I mean like we’re okay, and you’re okay with all of this?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m okay,” Aaron breathed out as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I still have to get used to this though, it doesn’t seem real.”
“We’ll take our time with everything, yeah?” Robert asked through a small smile.
“Yeah,” Aaron said quietly as he grinned back up at the younger lad and tugged on his hand to sit on the couch. “I thought he took it really well though. I mean he’s 3 and is probably still processing it but I’m relieved he didn’t cry or anything.”
“That was definitely something I was terrified of,” Robert agreed as he nodded to himself. “I’m sure tomorrow at our sleepover we’ll talk more about it.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he laughed to himself and shook his head. “He’s too cute,” he said, thinking about his son and how he went on and on about his and Robert’s sleepover tomorrow. “I’ll uhm, well I’m going to dinner with Pete tomorrow, so I’ll be over a little later if that’s okay.”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded and draped an arm over the back of the couch. “Of course that’s okay,” he said quietly. “Have you talked to him much? Pete I mean.”
“He’ll text and call me, but I only answer half the time… I’m still not even remotely over what he did but he…-”
“He’s your best mate, and has been forever,” Robert filled in for him. “I know Aaron, it’s okay,” he said, running a gentle hand up and down the older lad’s back. “But I have been wondering for a while… Has he uhm, has he ever dated anyone? Like ever?”
“Of course,” Aaron almost scoffed. “He’s engaged actually, has been for almost a year now.”
“Wait, really?” Robert asked, not believing it.
“Yeah her name’s Sophia, she’s a nurse at the same hospital as him. She’s really the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, it’s hard not to love her,” Aaron said, just thinking about Sophia made him miss her a bit. Holden always loved her company as well, he knows the toddler has been missing the two of them these past 3 months. “They’re getting married in June and I know Pete wants to make everything right between us before the big day comes.”
Robert nodded, knowing that Aaron would definitely be Pete’s best man, but June was in another 7 months. He was sure that in that time the two would at least somewhat make up. “Well congrats to Pete and I hope everything works out for him,” he breathed out.
“You sound really sincere with that, I’ll be sure to pass along the message,” Aaron said jokingly, earning a quiet laugh from the younger lad. “I’ve uhm, I’ve been wanting to ask you something too…” he said quietly.
“Sure,” Robert said with furrowed eyebrows, Aaron almost looking a bit confused.
“I know it’s completely random but I’ve been thinking about it since we started talking again, and I just remember when we were dating you used to talk about her a lot,” Aaron said softly, making Robert look at him like he had no clue what he was talking about. “Your mum I mean… Like when we dated you were always talking about her and you would always call her and text her but not once have you brought her up or anything. I just thought you might want her to meet Holden or you would tell her about him or something…”
Aaron bit his lip as he saw Robert just looking at him, not sure if he said something wrong but he has been wondering this for a little bit. He knows it’s out of the blue but he didn’t think the younger lad would look so upset at the thought of his mum.
“She’s okay right? Your mum, like she isn’t-”
“No, no I uhm… I think she’s fine,” Robert said quietly as he shook his head. “I just… I haven’t talked to her for a while.”
“How long is a while?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows, that not sounding like something Robert would do at all.
Robert let out a deep breath as he looked down at his lap and bit the inside of his cheek. “4 years… Since uhm, well since we broke up,” he said just Loud enough for Aaron to hear.
“What? Why?” Aaron asked in disbelief, knowing Robert was more than close with his mum, that she was his world, his biggest fan and supporter.
Robert shook his head and just stared at his lap. It wasn’t until he saw Aaron’s hand come into view, the older lad giving his thigh a gentle squeeze, wanting him to explain. “Aaron the night we broke up I… I really messed up,” he barely whispered, almost feeling tears pool in his eyes at the memory.
“Messed up how?” Aaron asked worriedly, trying to ready himself to hear something awful.
Robert rubbed a hand over his face, not even wanting to think about that night all those years ago, what he said to his mum, what had happened. “I was just… I lost it a bit a-and Adam had to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped… My mum came to see if I was okay but I… I-I was furious and hurt a-and-”
“Hey, it’s alright,” Aaron said, stopping him as he saw the younger lad get choked up. “You don’t have to tell me,” he said quietly, his mum clearly being a touchy subject.
Robert shook his head as he bit his lip, begging his tears not to fall. But he wanted to get this off his chest, to actually tell someone this because even after all these years he hasn’t been able to tell anyone, not even Adam what happened between him and his mum.
“She was trying to talk to me, s-she wanted me to go back and let you explain but I-I couldn’t, I was so mad,” Robert barely managed out, trying his hardest to keep himself together but in the end couldn’t, letting his tears fall onto his cheeks just at the thought of his mum’s face. “A-and she kept going on and on about you and I-I couldn’t listen anymore, I-I cracked…” he said, shaking his head and letting out a few deep breaths, wanting to calm down. “I screamed at her… I-I yelled at her to leave me alone and that if she thought I should be with you t-then I didn’t want her near me… A-and I kept screaming at her until she was in tears, until I pushed her so far where she was nearly running out of the hospital… I-I broke her heart…”
Aaron couldn’t move as he listened the younger lad, as he saw him nearly shaking at the thought of what he had done to his mum, what he had said to her.
“A-and she tried to call me after, to talk to me b-but I couldn’t pick up the phone. I-I couldn’t face her a-after what I-I had done,” Robert hiccuped out.
“Robert she’s your mum, you know she would’ve forgiven you, you were hurt,” Aaron said softly as he reached a gentle hand over and rubbed his back.
Robert quickly shook his head as he wiped his wet cheeks and let out a deep breath. “Aaron you don’t know the things I said to her… W-what I screamed at her…”
“But I know your mum, pretty well might I add,” Aaron said as he raised his eyebrows at Robert. “Her and I were close when we were dating, and I know she loved you more than anything in the world, if you talk to her and explain everything and tell her how sorry you are she’ll forgive you.”
Robert only shook his head again, gathering himself enough where his throat didn’t feel as tight and his tears stopped. “She won’t look at me the same… I was mad and drunk and in the hospital when all of this happened… How can I face her after that?”
Aaron bit his lip, not even able to think about how awful Robert must be feeling for saying those things to his mum, for pushing her away like that. “I’m… I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“You didn’t know… No one did actually, not even Adam,” Robert muttered as he looked to his hands in his lap.
“Why didn’t you tell Adam?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows, thinking Robert would at least tell Ed or the Irish lad, them being his best mates.
“What I did was terrible… I knew he would make me talk to her and at the time I couldn’t but now it’s too late…”
Aaron bit his lip, that not being true at all. He knew Diane, and he knew just how much she loved Robert, that she would forgive him no matter what happened. But it was clear the younger lad didn’t want to talk about this anymore, that he was still furious at himself for what had happened that night.
“R I’m sorry…” he said quietly. “I won’t bring it up again.”
Robert let out a deep breath as he combed his fingers through his hair and looked over to the older lad. “I uhm, I should get going actually I have to go to the studio.”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he watched Robert get off the couch and followed him to the foyer. “Are you mad at me?”
“No, no I swear,” Robert said as he reached for his coat and pulled it on. “I’m just a bit behind in recording my album and I told management I’d get to the studio today.”
“Oh, well then I’m sorry for keeping you so late, you could’ve-”
“Would you stop apologizing?” Robert asked through a quiet laugh. “Seriously it’s fine, you’re stressing over nothing.”
“Right, right I’m sor-”
“Aaron,” Robert said stopping him again, making the older lad bite his lip and blush slightly to himself. “C’mere, relax, you did nothing wrong,” he said, pulling Aaron into his chest and offering him a small smile. “If anything I should be apologizing to you. I didn’t mean to start crying,” Robert said, letting out his best convincing laugh.
“Don’t apologize for having feelings R,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes. “I’m glad we could actually talk… You know, being open and getting to know each other again,” he said quietly.
“Me too,” Robert said, his soft grin growing as he looked down at Aaron. And just as he was about to lean down to kiss the older lad, for the second time tonight he turned away, making him get his cheek instead.
Robert looked down at him confused, Aaron slowly turning back towards him but he could see the older lad avoiding his gaze. “Aaron what’s wrong? That’s the second time you’ve done that to me tonight. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, everythings fine,” Aaron said quietly as he got out of the younger lad’s arms. “I just… I want to actually take things slow this time,” he barely whispered. “I’m nervous that if we do what we did last time everything will fall apart again…”
Robert bit his lip as he kept his eyes on Aaron and nodded slowly, knowing when they started dating the first time they kind of jumped into things. “Of course, yeah, I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay,” Aaron said, not wanting Robert to feel bad. “I know, you can’t help yourself around me,” he said teasingly.
Robert groaned as he smiled to himself and shuffled his weight on his feet. “It’s true and I hate it,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly before making his way towards the door and opening it for the younger lad. “You should get going, you have to be a popstar and everything.”
Robert let out a quiet breath but couldn’t help his small grin as he walked towards the door and looked down at the younger lad. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quietly.
“Tomorrow,” Aaron confirmed with a single nod.
Robert bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile as he said one more soft goodnight to Aaron and made his way towards the car.
*~*
Aaron kept his eyes on his dinner plate in front of him before shifting his gaze to Pete across from him. It was a bit nice to actually sit with the younger lad and not feel the need to hit him, and Aaron thought that as time went on that feeling would slowly fade away.
“So any plans for the holidays? Have you started any Christmas shopping for Holden?” Pete asked before taking a bite of food.
“You know I penny pinch all year to save up for his gifts,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “But I haven’t actually bought anything yet and we don’t have any plans.”
“Your mum hasn’t…?” Pete trialed off quietly.
Aaron shook his head, almost wanting to scoff at the thought of going back home for Christmas. “You know how she is, how our relationship is.”
“Well you guys still talk right? Like she still calls?” Pete asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Sometimes,” Aaron shrugged. “But even when she calls and asks how I am or how Holden is it sounds like she doesn’t actually care.”
Pete bit his lip as he nodded and looked down to his food. Ever since they were little he knew Aaron and his mum weren’t all that close, especially when his sisters were born it was like the blue eyed lad didn’t even exist since she was always with them. And he knows that that strain between Aaron and his mum never really went away, that he always resented her a bit for leaving him behind at such a young age.
“Well uhm, what’s Robert doing? Will he go back home for Christmas?” he asked, getting the topic off Aaron’s mum.
“No, I don’t think so,” Aaron said quietly, remembering the talk he and the younger lad had last night. “I should talk to him though, find out what he’s doing.”
“Well if you uhm, if you want sometime later this week before the crowds at the mall get really bad we can go shopping,” Pete offered. “I have to get some ideas for Soph and still have to get the family some things.”
Aaron looked up from his plate and swallowed his food before shrugging. “Yeah, sure,” he said softly. “I have musical rehearsals Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but Robert has Holden on Fridays and Saturdays so those days are probably better.”
Pete nodded, unable to stop the small smile that came to him as he looked at his best mate. “Well whenever you want to go give me a call,” he said happily. “And you know that uhm, well I haven’t seen Holden in a while and I know Soph misses him and I miss him like crazy…-”
“Mate just… Take it slow yeah?” Aaron asked quietly. “You have to realize everything that’s going on with you and Robert and Holden… I have to take everything one step at a time.”
“Of course, yeah, I’m sorry,” Pete said as he bit his lip.
Aaron kept his eyes on Pete before nodding at him and looking back down to his food. He was grateful that all night the younger lad hasn’t been pushing him or lecturing him like he usually does. Even when he told Pete about how him and Robert are taking things slow, how he’s giving him more responsibility with Holden, the brown eyed lad didn’t utter anything. And if Pete was biting his tongue as Aaron told him about all of these things he was grateful for it.
By the time they were done with dinner Aaron definitely felt like things were getting better between them, but it wasn’t good enough for Pete to see Holden, to completely forgive him for what he had done.
But it was nice for things to be seemingly falling into place. After everything that’s been going on finally after what felt like forever everything and everyone was calming down.
And when he got to Robert’s flat it was impossible to push aside how he was feeling. Even if he walked into the living room to see a very awake Holden but a snoring Robert on the couch.
“Daddy!” Holden said excitedly, hopping off the couch and running into his father’s arms.
“Hey big guy,” Aaron said quietly through a soft smile before kissing his son all over his face. “You tire Robert out? What happened?” he asked as he laughed to himself.
Holden nodded as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck and grinned up at him. “I make Robert sleepy cause he chase me all over and he lose at hide and seek.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly, not too happy about Holden being up past his bedtime but at least him and Robert had a good night. “I need you to get pajamas on buddy, where did Robert put your bag?”
“Here,” Holden said, wiggling out of his father’s arms and scurrying over to the recliner. “I go potty then pajamas,” he said, grabbing his bag and running down the hall to the bathroom.
Aaron shook his head and smiled to himself as he watched his son nearly skipping down the hall. Once he saw that Holden got to the bathroom though he made his way over to the couch, taking a seat next to Robert and trying to hold back a laugh as he saw him with his mouth hung open and quiet snores escaping him.
“R…” he said quietly. “Robert, wake up,” Aaron said through a small grin as he reached a hand up and gently ran his hand through the younger lad’s curls.
He remembers when they were dating this was the best way to wake him up. Robert would always lean into his touch and smile sleepily to himself before he curled even closer to his side. And he did just that, leaning into Aaron’s touch as his fingers massaged his scalp and a slow grin made it’s way to the younger lad’s face.
“You have some explaining to do,” Aaron said as he let out a quiet laugh and kept running his fingers through Robert’s curls.
“No m’tired,” Robert groaned, not even opening his eyes before he curled into Aaron’s side and hid his face in the older lad’s neck.
“Yeah I can see that,” Aaron said teasingly. “Which is why I need you to explain why you fell asleep and let our son stay up way past his bedtime.”
Robert felt himself still for a moment, slowly pulling away from Aaron and looking at him softly. “That’s the first time you said our son,” he barely whispered.
“Yeah, I… I guess it was,” Aaron said quietly, not even thinking before he said it.
If possible Robert’s grin widened even more as he kept his eyes on Aaron and cuddled himself even closer into his side. “We talked you know, Holden and I did.”
“Oh yeah?” Aaron asked with raised eyebrows. “Did he have more questions? Did he get upset or anything?” he asked with a touch of worry in his voice.
“No he didn’t get upset thankfully,” Robert breathed out. “It was actually quite cute, he basically climbed on top of me while I was laying on the couch when we were watching a movie and he had a really confused look on his face, so I asked him ‘buddy what’s wrong’ and he goes ‘Robert if you my ofer daddy I can no call you daddy cause daddy is daddy. So what I call you?’. And I was completely lost at the question, really had no clue how to answer it,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But I just told him he can call me whatever he wants. You know, dad, daddy, papa, pop, or just Robert I don’t care… I couldn’t get over how cute he was though.”
“Yeah, he’s a pretty cute kid,” Aaron said through a soft smile as he looked down at the younger lad. “So what’s he calling you then, did he say?”
Robert shook his head as he tucked himself even closer into Aaron’s side. “I think he’s just calling me Robert. And it’s okay, like whatever makes him comfortable. But I do hope that at some point he’ll call me something else, ya know?”
“I’m sure he will R, don’t worry about it,” Aaron reassured him. “I’m sure he’s still trying to get used to the idea of you being his other dad, it might take him some time.”
“Yeah I understand that, and it’s okay of course. It’s a lot to digest for a 3 year old, finding out who their other parent is and everything,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he turned himself completely towards the older lad so he was almost laying on him and draping an arm over his stomach.
Aaron hummed as he moved his hand from Robert’s curls, gently running it up and down his back. But just as he was about to say something both he and Robert were startled as a little body jumped on the two of them.
“Why you no tell me we cuddle?!” Holden asked, trying to squeeze himself between the two.
“Sorry big guy,” Aaron said, trying to get his breath back as Robert groaned to himself after Holden elbowed and kneed both of them. “You and Robert can go cuddle as much as you want because it’s bedtime.”
“But daddy,” Holden whined.
“No but’s,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows. “Bedtime.”
Holden let out a Loud, dramatic groan before climbing over to Robert, hoping he could help convince his daddy to let him stay up. “Robert help,” he said, patting the older man’s shoulder, seeing he was hidding his face in his daddy’s neck. “Make daddy no put me to bed.”
“You need to go to bed buddy,” Robert mumbled into Aaron’s neck, ready for bed himself.
“No,” Holden whined even Aaronder, pouting at the two of them.
Aaron ran a hand over his face, always hating nights where getting into bed became a fight. Thankfully though Robert took it upon himself to get out from under his arm, pick Holden up and began heading towards the hall. He followed after the younger lad, wanting to see how this plays out because if Aaron knows his son, and he does, then Robert will be in for one hell of a fight.
“Robert no bed!” Holden said, kicking his little legs and trying to get out of his arms.
“No bed?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, tightening his grip on the toddler so he wouldn’t go anywhere. “I guess you don’t want to see your surprise then. Oh well I guess-”
“Surprise?!” Holden quickly stopped him with wide eyes.
“Yeah, but I mean if you don’t want to go to bed then I guess you can’t-”
“No, no!! I go to bed!” Holden rushed out. “But surprise first!”
Robert bit his lip, trying to hold back a laugh as he glanced over to Aaron who seemed a bit intrigued with this surprise as well. “Well I did want you both here for this so I suppose I can show you.”
Holden jumped excitedly in his arms, almost squealing as they walked down the hall. But when they stopped at the music room door he got confused. “My surprise in there?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“It is,” Robert said, offering him a small smile. “Aaron, you wanna do the honors and open the door?”
“Sure,” Aaron said, now growing more and more confused as Holden did. But he reached for the door handle anyway and pushed it open. As soon as he did that though his jaw went slack and even when Holden screamed excitedly at what he saw Aaron couldn’t move.
“Robert!!!” Holden yelled, wiggling out of his arms and running into the room. “This mine?!”
Robert bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he saw Holden running around his brand new Spiderman bedroom. “It’s all yours big guy. I worked on it all day for you,” he said, the look on Holden’s shocked face better than he imagined.
Holden’s jaw went slack as he looked around the room, not believing what he was seeing before turning back to Robert and sprinting at him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!” he screamed before hugging his legs tightly.
“Of course buddy,” Robert said softly before scooping the toddler up and kissing his cheek sloppily. “I’m happy you like it so much.”
“I love it!!” Holden said, jumping in his arms and wrapping his arms around his neck to hug him.
Robert could barely breathe with how tightly Holden was hugging him, but he hugged his son back despite the lack of air and glanced over at Aaron to see him looking right back at him with a soft smile.
“Alright R, c’mon, let your father breathe,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “You need to go brush your teeth anyway. And once you’re done with that you can sleep in your new Spiderman bed.”
Holden smiled widely to himself at the thought of sleeping in his new bed before nodding quickly, getting out of Robert’s arms and scurrying to the bathroom.
Robert opened and closed his mouth as he watched Holden run out of the room, but then turned to look at Aaron.
“What?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I swear I will never get used to this,” Robert barely whispered. “Like the whole you saying ‘your father’ and just you being here with him… It’s unreal.”
Aaron smiled to himself as he looked to the younger lad and saw him trying to contain himself. “Well I just thought since he knows now that he should get used to me saying stuff like that. You know, ‘give your dad this’ or ‘Holden your father’s here’. If that’s okay of course, I mean I don’t want you to be put on the spot.”
“No, no, that’s more than okay,” Robert said quickly, trying to keep back his wide grin. “It’s just that after everything that’s happened it’s…” he trailed off, not even sure what to say, how to feel about the past two days alone.
Aaron smiled to himself as he nodded and walked towards the younger lad. He took another look around the room, not believing Robert had actually put all this together for Holden before looking back up at him and feeling his smile grow.
And before he could even stop himself or realize what he was doing he reached hand up, brushing his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s curls and stepping impossibly closer to him.
“Aaron Dingle are you trying to make a move on me?” Robert asked teasingly, snaking his arms around the older lad’s waist.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he looked up at Robert, but he didn’t even give him the chance to laugh before he stood on his toes, pressed his lips to the younger lad’s and immediately felt him kiss back.
Robert couldn’t fight off his smile as he felt Aaron on him, combing his fingers through the back of his curls and his lips moving gently against his own. And just as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to him he felt Aaron release him and rest his forehead on his chest, letting out a few deep breaths and moving his hands to his biceps.
“We’re pretty bad at this whole taking it slow thing huh?” Robert asked jokingly.
“Shut up,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes and squeezed the younger lad’s arms gently. “Just my way of saying thank you… For all of this I mean,” he said, looking around the room. “It means more than you know…”
“Well I’m just glad both you and Holden like it,” Robert said softly. “It took all day and after being in the studio last night until like 2 am I’m surprised I even finished it,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Aaron bit his lip as he tried to keep in his own small chuckle, thinking that must be the reason Robert passed out on the couch.
“Daddy!! Robert! Time to get in new bed!!” Holden said, rushing back into his new room and quickly climbing into his bed.
“Alright buddy, let’s get you tucked in,” Robert said, unwrapping his arms from around the older lad’s waist.
After reading one of the new Robert Frost book of poems Robert got and too many kisses given to Holden to count the two finally made their way out of the room quietly.
“If uhm, if it’s okay I wanted to talk to you a little bit before I head off to bed. I just wanted to change first,” Robert said as he stopped at his bedroom door.
“Sure, yeah,” Aaron nodded at him. “I should probably change too, I’m beat. I’ll meet you in the living room,” he said, offering the younger lad a small smile.
Robert grinned back at him before retreating into his room and quickly pulling on a pair of joggers and a fresh t-shirt. He checked himself in the mirror, nearly groaning as he saw how gross he looked. Robert combed his fingers through the top of his curls and tamed the ones on the side before rubbing his hands over his face, trying not to look so tired.
And when he actually deemed himself decent enough Robert made his way towards the living room, only having to hold back yet another groan, but this time at the sight of the older lad on the couch.
“Are you trying to kill me?” he muttered, taking a seat next to Aaron.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up from his phone and to Robert. “What?”
“Take these off and come here,” Robert said, pulling off the older lad’s glasses and brushing his fingers through his hair so it wasn’t as tousled. “You’re not allowed to look this cute, plus you need pants,” he said through a quiet laugh.
“Anyone who sleeps with pants on is stupid,” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes.
“I agree with you but at least I had the decency to put pants on and not torture you,” Robert said, patting Aaron’s thigh where the thin material of his boxers was covering.
Aaron scoffed as he shook his head and threw his phone off to the side. “Trust me, I would’ve been just fine,” he said earning an eye roll from the younger lad. “But what did you want to talk about?”
“Right uhm so there are a couple things actually,” Robert said quietly. “First off though I wanted to tell you that Clara and I talked today and she wants to know what we’re planning on doing with the paps and media and all that.”
“Uhm… I don’t know,” Aaron said slowly, having no clue how things like this work. Sure when they were dating they had their picture taken a couple times but Robert wasn’t nearly as famous as he is now and no one really cared who he was seen with.
“Well it’s just that there’s a lot of speculation and pictures going around right now and I told my management not to confirm anything until I talked to you. But the media wants to know what’s going on and the longer we hold off on talking to them the more damage and drama they’ll cause,” Robert explained quietly.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded to himself, hating the idea of even putting Holden in front of cameras or doing anything like that to him. But he was sure Robert didn’t want that either, so maybe he had a plan. “So what do we do?”
“Clara suggested that we slowly introduce the public to you and Holden,” Robert said through a quiet breath. “Like the three of us go out and a pap will be there and just take a couple pictures, but that’s it. And then there will be some news articles talking about you two, but not confirming anything yet, just getting the public used to seeing you guys with me.”
“But what happens when everyone finds out you’re his dad? Like what are you going to do? Is there anything Holden and I have to do? Do you have bodyguards? We’ll be safe right? Like no crazy fans or paps are going to try to-”
“Aaron,” Robert said, putting a hand on the older lad’s thigh and stopping him before he started hyperventilating. “That’s another thing I have to talk to you about, me coming forward and confirming I’m his dad. And don’t worry security is all worked out, there are restraining orders so paps can’t get near you, it’s alright, breathe,” he said through a small laugh.
Aaron nodded to himself and let out a few deep breaths, trying his best to calm down and trust Robert with this.
“I have an interview set up the day after New Years and it’s there I’ll be telling everyone about Holden and you,” Robert said quietly. “Which is actually another thing I need to talk to you about…”
“What? New Years?” Aaron asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Y-yeah well uhm… The thing is that I’ll be in New York City to perform on New Year's Eve in Times Square, and then the next day is the interview.”
“Oh…” Aaron said quietly, looking down to his lap. “So you won’t be here then?”
Robert bit his lip as he nodded, but he squeezed the older lad’s thigh, wanting him to look at him. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about… I-I know it’s a lot to ask for and if you say no I totally understand but I uhm, I wanted to ask if you and Holden wanted to maybe uhm, maybe come with me to New York.”
Aaron felt his jaw go slack for a second as he looked at the younger lad and took in what he was saying, what he was asking him. “You… You want us to go to New York with you?”
“Yeah I-I mean I was hoping to spend Christmas and New Years with you guys and I just thought that with me leaving you could come. I knew it was a long shot though, I-”
“I need to think about it,” Aaron cut him off. “Of course, please spend Christmas with us and it would’ve been nice to spend New Years with you but I don’t know about going away…”
“It’s fine, I completely understand,” Robert said through a quiet breath as he nodded to himself. “But I… I would really love for you to come… I just wanted you guys there for the interview and of course I was hoping to reign in the New Year with you specifically,” he said, sending a small smirk to the older lad, earning a not so subtle eye roll from him. “But of course, think it over, take your time and everything.”
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded to himself and looked back to his lap. “Well yes to whatever pap thing you have plDianed, yes to Christmas and maybe to New Years.”
“Great,” Robert said through a soft smile. “And sorry for just throwing all of this at you. Clara just needed to know to make final details and everything.”
“S’fine,” Aaron waved off. “All this crazy stuff was bound to happen at some point.”
“And in the midst of the holidays, I’m sorry,” Robert breathed out, giving the older lad’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “Also, throwing one more thing at you, did you want to go Christmas shopping for Holden later this month?”
“Too many decisions,” Aaron groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “But yeah,” he breathed out.
Robert let out a quiet laugh before patting Aaron’s thigh one more time and getting up from the couch. “Alright, that’s it for the night. I’ll finally leave you alone and let you get some sleep.”
“Thank you, my God,” Aaron muttered jokingly.
Robert rolled his eyes as he walked towards Aaron, knelt down and kissed his cheek gently. “Night.”
“Goodnight,” Aaron said quietly, biting his lip to hide his growing smile.
And with that he watched Robert head off towards the hall to get to his bedroom, but sleeping was the last thing on Aaron’s mind. He had to think about New Years, think about the paps they were sure to come across and the interview Robert had to do in a month, all at the same time thinking about what to get Holden and Robert for Christmas.
So when Aaron finally laid down on the couch he groaned into the pillow, praying his racing thoughts would stop so he could actually get some sleep.
*~*
“Robert where we going?” Holden asked as he looked out the window and saw the buildings zoom by.
“Daddy and I thought it would be fun to go out and do something today,” Robert said, squeezing Aaron’s thigh and glancing in the rear view mirror.
“Anofer surprise?!” Holden asked excitedly.
“Kind of buddy, yeah,” Robert said through a quiet laugh.
Aaron bit his lip as he glanced over at Robert and rested his hand on top of his that was on his thigh. And when the younger lad looked over to him he offered him a small smile, trying not to think about the two or three paps that will be waiting for them.
“Well hurry there cause I need potty,” Holden groaned.
Robert almost wanted to groan himself as he heard that, knowing for a fact he told the 3 year old to use the bathroom before they left but apparently he was ignored. But he did step on the gas a bit more, making them show up at the building a bit early.
Even when Robert parked the car though he saw two paps waiting by the doors, making him let out a small breath before turning around to look at Holden.
“Hey buddy we’re here, but I wanted to tell you that when we go inside there are just going to be some people taking our picture, okay?” Robert said quietly.
“Why?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“You know how some people like to take pictures with Robert and ask for his autograph?” Aaron asked and when the toddler nodded he continued. “Well these people want his picture too, but with us,” he explained.
“Oh… okay,” Holden shrugged. “But hurry!! Potty!” he said, trying to get out of his seat buckles.
Both Robert and Aaron rolled their eyes as they laughed to themselves and got out of the car, Robert making sure to be quick and help Holden out.
“They won’t get close right?” Aaron asked quietly as he saw Robert adjust Holden on his hip.
“No, I promise,” Robert said, giving him a reassuring smile before wrapping an arm around the older lad’s waist. “We’ll just smile, they’ll take a few shots and that’s it, we have the rest of the day to ourselves.”
Aaron let out a deep breath and nodded as he shuffled his feet forward and tucked himself into the younger lad’s side, trying to shield himself from the December chill. He glanced over at Holden to make sure he was okay but even when they got closer to the two paps the toddler didn’t have a care in the world.
He could feel Robert pull him closer into his side and saw the curly haired lad offer both the paps a small smile as they snapped quick pictures of them. And Aaron couldn’t fight off his own grin as he saw Holden waving at them and saying a happy “hi!!”, making the two men laugh before they took a few more pictures of them as they made their way towards the door.
“Alright guys, thanks,” Robert said, nodding at the paps and having the flashing lights stop.
“Thank you Mr. Sugden. We’ll go by Clara’s office and you’ll see a story by tomorrow.”
Robert nodded at the man before shifting Holden in his arms and pulled Aaron impossibly closer to his side as they made it to the door. “See? Not too bad right?” he asked.
“Robert! Potty!!” Holden said, quickly tapping the older man’s shoulder.
“Alright, alright,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as Aaron opened the door for them and they made it into the building. “Don’t you want to see where we are though?”
“No! Potty!!” Holden said, wiggling out of Robert’s arms and looking all over for a bathroom.
“Oh God, alright, come on, let’s go,” Aaron said, seeing his son do his little potty dance before scooping him up. “R you get the tickets or whatever we need, we’ll be quick.”
“Sure,” Robert called after the older lad as he saw him jogging away with Holden to the nearest bathroom.
He got in line and as soon as he did that he noticed people looking over at him, whispering amongst themselves but he ignored them. As he was waiting a few people came up to him and he took quick pictures but that was it. And when Aaron and Holden got back from the bathroom Robert put all his attention on them, giving them both the stickers they had to wear so they could get inside.
“Robert what this for?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows as he saw the older man putting a sticker on his chest.
“So they’ll let us in. Did you see where we are?” Robert asked before picking the toddler up and pulling off his shoes.
Holden looked at him even more confused before glancing around the room. “What that?” he asked, pointing over to where it looked like a bunch of people were bouncing on something.
“It’s a trampoline park buddy,” Aaron said through a small smile as he pulled his own shoes off. “So we can jump all over the place and pretend to be Spiderman and all that fun stuff. What do you think?”
“Daddy I no pretend I Spiderman cause I am Spiderman,” Holden scoffed as he rolled his eyes.
“Of course you are R, don’t let anyone ever say otherwise,” Robert said before kissing the toddler’s cheek, taking his own shoes off and putting everything in a locker, making sure to lock it so no one would steal anything. “Alright boys, we ready to jump around and show all these people our moves?”
“Yes!!” Holden cheered excitedly, already running towards the large trampolines that covered the floor.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly at the 3 year old before watching Robert jog after him, not wanting Holden to get hurt if any of the bigger kids were jumping around and not paying attention. And when the two claimed a section of the huge trampoline Aaron couldn’t hold back a laugh as he watched the younger lad trying to do a flip but failed miserably and landed on his back. Holden had no problem jumping around him though and Aaron was just grateful they could come here and burn off his abnormally high amount of energy. He was happy to burn off some of Robert’s energy too, knowing tonight would be a calm one with the two of them jumping and leaping around like monkeys and rolling all over the place while they were here.
Aaron did join them, jumping around and trying to flip, and he was pleasantly surprised he landed on his feet and not on his bum like Robert. He did notice people taking pictures or videotaping them but Holden didn’t notice and Robert ignored it. So he followed after the younger lad, jumping around with the toddler and trying his hardest to keep up with him.
The more Holden flipped, jumped and giggled Aaron thought that maybe for Christmas he could get him a little trampoline for the house. It would definitely take away some of his energy and it was another thing to pull him away from the television. So that was one less present he had to think about, but his biggest gift struggle lately has been what to get Robert.
What do you get someone who can have everything and anything they want? Aaron knew he had to be clever with what he got the younger lad and even if Robert seemed to enjoy the trampoline park just as much if not more than Holden he thought that he could come up with a better present than a trampoline for Robert as well.
But just as he watched Robert throw Holden into a foam pit, making the 3 year old burst into laughter as the curly haired man jumped in after him for some reason Aaron got an idea.
He saw how happy Robert and Holden were together and it reminded Aaron of something. He knew it would take a few calls and some major planning but Aaron was sure this would be one Christmas Robert would never forget.
------ next chapter
“Holden!!” Aaron yelled up the stairs, hearing the little patter of feet running towards him a second later.
“Daddy!” Holden screamed back, jumping in his father’s arms and smiling widely at him. “Robert here?” he asked, looking towards the door.
“No buddy, but that’s actually why I called you down here,” Aaron said as he bit his lip and shifted his son on his hip. “Robert is at the studio tonight and he doesn’t know if he’ll make it in time for dinner.”
“Oh…” Holden said through a small pout. “Well I still call later and say night night.”
Aaron kissed the 3 year old’s head as he carried him into the kitchen and checked on his cooking soup. “Well I actually thought it would be fun if we could visit Robert at the studio and bring him dinner. What do you think?”
“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his daddy’s arms. “Robert say studio have lots and lots of buttons!”
“Oh trust me there are lots and lots of buttons,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh.
“Well I gon press them all,” Holden said as he giggled to himself and his daddy put him down. “Robert say okay we surprise him?”
“I’m sure he’ll be more than fine with it buddy,” Aaron said, Robert sounding terrible over the phone and the younger lad wouldn’t stop saying how sorry he was or how much he would miss the two of them. “Once I have the soup and bread all packed up we can head over there, okay?”
“Okay!” Holden said happily, watching as his daddy put the soup into a container. “Robert be happy we go and I happy we go!”
Aaron smiled down at the toddler before ladling the rest of the soup into the container and making sure he had bowls, spoons, and plenty of bread and butter. “Alright buddy get your winter coat, hat and gloves on please.”
Holden scurried off to the foyer, pulling on all of his winter gear as his daddy carried everything towards the door. “Daddy where my boots?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking all over the floor.
“Oh, Robert got you some new ones, they’re in the closet,” Aaron said, placing the food down quickly so he could get his own coat, scarf and hat on.
He didn’t even know when Robert decided to get Holden new boots, he just showed up with them. Granted Aaron was meaning to get him a new pair because his old ones were a bit worn down and tattered, but he would have had to dig into his Christmas shopping money. If he was being honest he was a bit grateful Robert got them and saved him the small burden.
“Alright big guy, we ready to go?” Aaron asked once he had all of his winter gear on and carefully picked up all of the food.
“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly, already pulling the door open and letting the December cold in.
Aaron rolled his eyes playfully as Holden ran to the car and was already trying to get in his seat. He carefully balanced everything in his arms as he locked the door behind him and made his way to the car, putting the food in the passenger seat and then helping Holden buckle up.
“Daddy I want a space car like Robert,” Holden said once they were on the road and looked around his father’s car.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen buddy,” Aaron said through a small laugh as he kept his eyes on the dark street.
He heard his son let out a small breath but didn’t say anything else on the matter, so Aaron thought that maybe while they were kind of on the subject of Robert they could talk about him a little bit.
“R I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said quietly, glancing in the rear view mirror quickly.
“Okay daddy,” Holden said, kicking his little legs in his seat and watching the buildings pass by.
“So you know Christmas is in two weeks and-”
“And daddy’s birthday!!” Holden said excitedly.
“And daddy’s birthday,” Aaron agreed through a quiet laugh. “But after Christmas is New Years and I wanted to know what you thought about maybe spending it with Robert.”
“Daddy you no need to ask, of course we spend with Robert,” Holden scoffed.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to keep in another laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Well the thing is that to spend it with your father that means we’ll have to travel with him, like go on a plane, and we’ll be with him for maybe a week or so before coming back home,” he explained.
Holden furrowed his eyebrows, never going on a plane before or spending so much time with Robert. But just at the thought of both those things he was nearly jumping in his seat. “Daddy yes! We go with Robert!!”
“Really?” Aaron asked, glancing behind him to the toddler.
He’s been thinking over Robert’s offer for nearly two weeks now and with some help or he would say persuasion from Ross he was leaning towards telling the younger lad that yes they would join him in New York. But Holden was the deciding factor.
“Cause you know if we go with him if he starts to get a little crazy we can’t get away from him, we’ll be stuck with him,” Aaron said, slightly joking.
“Well… Even when Robert go crazy we put him to bed, it okay,” Holden said, knowing sometimes the curly haired man did get a little insane.
“Alright, sounds like a plan,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh. “You like Robert a lot huh? If you’re willing to put up with him for that long.”
Holden giggled into his hands and nodded to himself, thinking about all of the silly things Robert does. “I like Robert very much, it okay if he go crazy sometimes.”
Aaron hummed, taking what Holden said and thinking that he may have an answer for Robert. The idea was still nerve wracking to him, taking a trip with the younger lad and spending so much consecutive time with him but maybe this could be good for the three of them. Robert and Holden would be spending real time together and maybe the younger lad could experience what it’s like to be a full time parent for a little bit.
So by the time they got to the music studio, Aaron’s hand holding Holden’s while the other carried the food his mind was made up. He felt crazy and couldn’t believe what he was about to do as they walked down the halls, trying to find the recording booth, but when they finally found where Robert was Aaron was done overthinking everything and decided to take the leap, to take the chance.
“Robert!!”
Robert snapped his head up from where he was looking at his guitar and went wide eyed as he saw the two Dingles.
“Surprise,” Aaron said, offering him a small smile. “We bring company and food.”
“Holy shi- I-I mean, oh my God, just yeah I’m uh, I’m surprised,” Robert said, trying not to freak out at the sight of the two as he put his guitar off to the side.
“It’s okay that we came right? I mean I’m sorry for just kind of showing up and you’re working, I just thought-”
“Aaron stop, you thought right,” Robert said through a quiet laugh as he stood up and walked towards the two, leaning down to Holden and scooping him up. “Everyone else is actually out to dinner but I stayed behind. I wanted to finish this so I could at least make bedtime,” he said, squeezing the 3 year old and kissing him all over his face.
“Daddy want to surprise you with dinner!” Holden said, jumping in the older man’s arms.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to ignore the way his face was heating up at how Robert was looking at him. “Well uhm yeah, I just uh… Here,” he said, placing everything on the small coffee table.
Robert watched Aaron for a moment, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he saw the older lad trying to organize everything. “Hey,” he said softly, placing a gentle hand on Aaron’s shoulder, making him stop for a second and look at him. “Just… Thank you.”
Aaron offered him a small grin before nodding at the younger lad, looking back to the coffee table and situating the food. “I uhm, I also wanted to talk- well maybe tell you something I guess.”
“Sure,” Robert said, helping Holden take off his winter gear and sitting down with him on the couch.
“So uhm I know you uh, you asked about New Year's a couple weeks ago and I’ve been thinking…” Aaron started off, putting a bowl of soup on the table for Holden, the 3 year old immediately digging into it. “Well R and I decided we would uhm, we’d like to go to New York with you.”
Robert snapped his head up from where he was helping Holden butter his bread, a wide smile immediately stretching across his face. “Aaron this is great!!” he said, bounding off the couch and lunging at the older lad, nearly knocking him over as he crushed him in a hug. “You have no idea how happy I am!!”
“I think I have a clue,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, trying to steady himself as he hugged the younger lad back.
“No you don’t just oh my God!!” Robert said, nearly jumping in Aaron’s arms. “I need to call Clara and Ed, they’ll be so excited you’re coming and we have so much to plan!! You and Holden have never been and I can show you all around and take you to the shops and-”
“Robert!!” Aaron said, stopping the younger lad, needing him to breathe. “Relax, yeah?” he asked softly, cupping Robert’s cheeks and making him stay still.
“Yeah Robert relax and eat some soup,” Holden said, smacking his lips together before eating another spoonful.
Robert let out a few deep breaths as he looked between the two and nodded slowly. “I’m just so happy,” he said through a soft smile, still not believing they were coming with him.
“And I’m happy you’re happy,” Aaron said quietly, grinning back at the younger lad before wrapping his arms around his neck. “But we can relax, have some soup, and talk a little bit about the holidays calmly, okay?”
“Hmh,” Robert hummed, trying his hardest to calm down.
“Great,” Aaron said through a small smile as he carded his fingers through Robert’s curls. “C’mon let’s eat.”
Robert watched as Aaron got a bowl for him and he made his way over to the couch to sit with Holden but it felt near impossible to keep himself together at the news. “Really I’m just so happy, about you being here now, Christmas, New Years, just everything,” he said, accepting the food Aaron was passing him.
“We are too, aren’t we R?” Aaron said, getting his own bowl together before looking over to Holden.
“Yes!” Holden said excitedly. “And Robert no forget daddy’s birthday!!”
“Buddy I could never forget daddy’s birthday. Which reminds me that you and I have some planning to do,” Robert said, leaning over and kissing the toddler’s head.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to hold off a smile as he took a seat next to the younger lad. “You know I hate surprises,” he muttered.
“Oh c’mon Aaron, you’ll be fine. R and I will do something really special, won’t we?” Robert asked, grinning down at the 3 year old.
“Of course!” Holden said like that was a stupid question. “Me and Robert make birthday real nice daddy, no worry.”
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he sipped at his soup, hoping the two wouldn’t plan something huge. He always liked nice dinners whether they were home cooked or going out, but parties he was never really a fan of. Maybe it was just that he didn’t like having all of the attention on him, but with Robert’s fame and the way a new article came out nearly everyday about the three of them it was hard to keep the attention off him.
Of course Holden didn’t notice a thing, every day went by like nothing at all was changing. But Aaron had noticed.
He mostly noticed at school as he walked down the halls, that the kids would whisper when he walked by or would look at him wide eyed. When he and Holden went out it seemed like there was always at least one person who recognized the two of them from the tabloids but Aaron was just grateful no one had stopped them or followed them. He did worry though, thought that it was only a matter of time before these things happened, before things got really crazy.
“Aaron.”
Aaron jumped slightly as he heard Robert whispering in his ear, but quickly gave his attention to the younger lad.
“I was thinking, maybe this weekend if you’re free we can do a little Christmas shopping for R,” Robert said quietly, making sure the 3 year old couldn’t hear him. “Maybe Ross could watch him or if he’s busy I know Adam or Ed wouldn’t mind at all.”
“Uhm yeah, yeah, that sounds fine,” Aaron said through a small smile. “We can go Saturday afternoon and then back to yours for our sleepover?” he asked jokingly.
“It’s a date,” Robert said, sending the older lad a wink before looking back to his food.
Aaron bit his lip as he felt his face heating up, but if anyone asked he was just a bit warm from the soup. And he focused on his soup as Robert and Holden talked about nonsense next to him, trying keep himself together and not overthink this “date” thing. It was just Christmas shopping for Holden, that was it. Just two parents shopping for their son and nothing more.
He kept telling himself that as they ate, and once they were done eating and Robert showed them what he’s been working on he pushed the thought away. And when Holden was nearly falling asleep in his arms and Robert kissed his cheek goodnight he ignored the way his stomach twisted into knots. Aaron was sure they would have a nice afternoon together, but it wasn’t a date.
*~*
“So how was your date with the popstar?”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he took a bite of his lunch and looked at Ross across from him. “It wasn’t a date,” he muttered.
“That’s not what I heard on the radio this morning,” Ross said, wiggling his eyebrows at his best mate.
“What? What’d they say?” Aaron asked quickly. He knew a couple paps caught them out and they were stopped in the mall a few times but he didn’t think something as little as going shopping would get media attention.
“That Robert Sugden was seen out Christmas shopping with his reported boyfriend Aaron Dingle and that the two went to lunch and couldn’t keep their eyes off each other the entire time,” Ross said through a small smirk. “So I’ll ask again… How was the date?”
“And I'll say again, It wasn’t a date,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “We did do those things, but it wasn’t a date.”
“Hmh, sure,” Ross hummed. “You know when you dropped Holden off at my place you just said you were going shopping… You didn’t care to share who you were shopping with?”
Aaron shrugged as he took another bite of his food. “I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Oh yeah, it’s not like in a week’s time you’ll be jetting off to another country with this guy or anything… Or you know spending Christmas with him and maybe planning the most beautiful and thoughtful gift ever for someone you haven’t gone on a date with-”
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Aaron said, stopping him. “Robert and I are just… Well we’re uhm, I don’t know what we are exactly, but we’re taking things slow and that’s it. Saturday was strictly shopping.”
“So the picture I saw of you two holding hands was just a friendly thing then?” Ross asked teasingly.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, now more than ever hating the people with cameras. “Where did you see that?”
“Well when I got to work this morning after hearing the radio I was a little too interested and may have stumbled upon some pictures,” Ross said, trying to hold back a laugh as he saw his best mate’s face.
“What kind of pictures?” Aaron asked quietly, his lunch forgotten.
Ross’s smirk only grew, Aaron knowing very well what kind of pictures. “Oh you know, just ones with his hand on your lower back or you two holding hands. Oh! And you know what I’m pretty sure I saw one where maybe a certain blue eyed lad was kissing a certain-”
Aaron let out a Loud groan before banging his head on the table, no way this could be happening to him. “It wasn’t even a kiss! A peck at most!!” he mumbled annoyed into the table.
Ross scoffed as he shook his head and reached for his own lunch. “Whatever you say mate,” he muttered. “But I just have to know, what did Robert do to deserve that “peck”?” he teased.
Aaron picked his head up before rubbing his hands over his face and letting out a deep breath. “Just… All day he was being really lovely, like paying for lunch and he refused to let me pay for any of Holden’s gifts that we got, which I have to say was a huge load off my shoulders,” he said quietly. “I don’t know we just had a really nice day and it was fun and Robert was being so sweet, I just thought-”
“Mate you don’t have to justify it, like you didn’t do anything wrong,” Ross said through a chuckle. “I just wished you told me you started dating a popstar, that’s all.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he nibbled on his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from saying it wasn’t a date yet again. “You’re the worst,” he muttered as he packed up his lunch. “I’m going to meet with Adam and talk about the musical and you are not going to tell or discuss my relationship with Robert with anyone.”
“Aaron I don’t have to, everyone in bloody England probably knows. You guys have been all over the news since you went to that trampoline place.”
Aaron narrowed his eyes at the younger lad before letting out an annoyed groan and stomping towards the door. “It wasn’t a date!!”
*~*
Aaron’s eyes snapped open at the sound of something banging against the floor, followed by a Loud giggle and an even Aaronder groan. He slowly sat up and swung his legs over the couch, rubbing his hand over his face and reaching for his glasses on the coffee table before he actually got off the couch.
Aaron shuffled into the kitchen, hearing Holden instructing Robert to do something and when he actually caught sight of the two he saw the younger lad cleaning what looked like some kind of batter that had spilt all over the floor.
“Daddy!!”
He could barely react before the toddler was jumping in his arms and clinging to his neck, but that didn’t stop the small smile that came to him.
“Happy birthday!!” Holden cheered in his daddy’s arms. “Sorry, Robert make mess so breakfast not ready.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows at the 3 year old before looking over to Robert, the younger lad’s cheeks tinted pink as he stood up from the floor.
“I uhm… Sorry,” Robert said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck and walked towards the two. “But no worries I’ll make another batch and I promise to make the best breakfast ever. Oh, and happy birthday,” he said through a quiet laugh before resting a hand on the older lad’s hip and kissing his cheek gently.
“Thank you, to both of you,” Aaron said through a soft smile as he squeezed Holden and kissed his head.
“Daddy me and Robert have big plans! You be very surprise!” Holden said happily as he wrapped his arms around his father’s neck.
Aaron shifted his gaze to Robert, the younger lad knowing very well he hates surprises.
“It’s not that big Aaron, don’t worry,” Robert said as he chuckled to himself and pat the older lad’s side before cleaning up the rest of his mess on the floor. “Trust me, I know you have your limits when it comes to surprises, but you’ll like this one.”
Aaron pursed his lip before looking back to Holden and seeing the 3 year old nod at him. “So what’re we doing today then? Besides spilling breakfast all over the floor,” he said teasingly.
Holden giggled into his daddy’s neck as he saw Robert rolling his eyes playfully. “Robert make breakfast then we get dressed then we go play outside in snow and Robert make lunch!”
“Well what about dinner?” Aaron asked, placing Holden on the counter next to where Robert was making a second batch of batter.
“Surprise,” Robert said, knocking their hips together and sending a wink over to Holden, getting one in return from the 3 year old. “What do you think we were doing all day yesterday? We had to get some gifts and plan some stuff, didn’t we R?” he asked, passing the toddler a strawberry before he picked up the bowl and poured some of the batter into the waffle iron.
Holden hummed and nodded to himself as he chewed on his strawberry. “No worries daddy me and Robert do good job.”
“I’m sure you gave your father all the ideas though huh?” Aaron asked, kissing his son’s head.
“Well Robert help a little bit,” Holden shrugged.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he let out a quiet breath and looked over to Robert. But he caught the younger lad just looking at the waffle iron, biting the inside of his cheek as he focused on what he was doing. And Aaron knew what was running through his head, what he was thinking about.
It’s been almost a month since they told Holden that Robert was his dad and Aaron knew it was hard for the younger lad to still be just “Robert” and not daddy or papa. But he also knew that Robert wanted to give Holden time, to let the 3 year old make his own decision as to what to call him and when he’ll start actually doing it. So all Aaron could do was reach for Robert and rub his back gently before offering him a reassuring smile and letting him get back to cooking.
And by the time Robert was done with everything there was a huge spread on the table and the younger lad had perked up completely. He made sure to give Aaron extra chocolate chips, syrup and whipped cream, just the way he likes it before helping Holden with his own plate. And Holden much like his daddy had requested a plate full of sugar with a side of waffle.
Robert had also made eggs, sausage, bacon, and cinnamon toast, so by the time they were done with breakfast the three boys were more than ready to do nothing but sit and maybe nap. At least Aaron and Robert were ready for a nap.
“Up! Up! We go in snow!!” Holden said, already pulling everything out of his bag until he found his snow gear.
“No, five more minutes,” Aaron grumbled from the couch.
“Get up,” Holden groaned, running over to the two and pullling on their hands.
Unlike Aaron though Robert let himself get pulled, but instead of getting on his feet he dramatically fell to the floor.
Holden’s jaw dropped as he looked at the older man on the floor, him being completely still and not looking like he was going to move any time soon. “Daddy! Daddy!! Help!! I hurt Robert!!” he yelled panicked before running over to his father and hitting his leg to get his attention.
“What am I supposed to do R? You’re the one that hurt your pop,” Aaron said, trying to hold back a laugh as he saw the younger lad smiling at him from the floor.
Holden opened and closed his mouth as he looked between the two, Robert not moving an inch. “Robert…?” he asked quietly, taking a careful step towards the older man. “Robert you hurt?” Holden asked as he knelt down by his head and pat his hair gently.
Aaron just watched the two, Holden looking more and more worried by the second as Robert was laying there motionless. But just when the 3 year old looked close to losing it Robert popped up, saying a Loud “boo!!” before Holden screamed and the younger lad pulled him to the floor and began tickling him.
But when Holden was breathlessly giggling in Robert’s arms and the younger lad gave up on his tickle attack Aaron had gained enough energy to actually get up and get ready to go outside.
There was a park just a block away from Robert’s building so once the three of them were dressed for the cold they made their way outside, Holden’s hands claiming theirs as he walked between the two and skipped along the path.
*~*
“Here you are Aaron,” Robert said softly, passing the older lad a cup of tea.
“Thanks,” Aaron said as he sniffled to himself. “As much fun as snowballs, forts and wrestling is I’m happy to be out of cold and have R down for a nap,” he said through a quiet laugh before taking a sip of his drink.
“You look like you could use a nap yourself,” Robert said, combing his fingers through the back of the older lad’s hair before wrapping his arm around his waist and grabbing Aaron’s mug to set it on the coffee table.
Aaron hummed as he rested his head against Robert’s shoulder and cuddled into his side. “I can’t miss any of my birthday now can I?”
“It’s not like you’ll be missing much,” Robert laughed into the older lad’s hair. “I'll just be making lunch.”
“But what if I wanted to talk to you?” Aaron asked quietly, looking up the curly haired lad.
At that Robert raised his eyebrows and smiled down at Aaron before burying his nose in his hair. “Talk about what?” he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to his head.
“Uhm I wanted to uhm-” Aaron swallowed thickly, trying desperately to ignore Robert’s lips trailing from his hair, to his temple and near his ear. “C-Christmas.”
“Yeah?” Robert asked through a small smirk, moving his lips just behind the older lad’s ear, down his neck. “What about it?”
Aaron opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out as he felt his jaw drop completely at where Robert was kissing him. Of course the younger lad would remember just where on his neck and how to kiss him. How to move his lips against his skin and how to press his fingers into his side, making sure there was absolutely no room between them.
“Uh if you u-uhm wanted to m-maybe uhm-”
“If I wanted to maybe…?” Robert hummed against his skin before releasing the older and looking at him with a soft smile.
Aaron looked right back him, his breath coming up short at how the younger lad was grinning at him. “You know how much I hate you right?” he asked, getting an eye roll and a gentle kiss on his cheek from Robert.
“Really? You hate me?” he asked through a smirk before attaching his lips back onto Aaron, kissing him right under his jaw.
“Yes,” Aaron groaned as he laughed to himself and lightly pushed Robert away from him. “Talk first, then we can get back to this.”
Robert let out quiet breath and muttered a dramatic “fine”, making the older lad scoff and flick his ear. “What did you want to ask me?” he asked through a chuckle, pulling Aaron closer to his side and rubbing his hand up and down his side.
“Well after whatever you have plDianed for tonight I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to mine and sleep over, that way we can get right to presents in the morning,” Aaron said, resting his head on the younger lad’s shoulder and looking up at him.
Robert hummed and nodded as he buried his nose back into Aaron’s hair.
“Also uhm, tomorrow after lunch I was thinking we could take a little road trip up north so we’ll need to pack a bag,” Aaron said quietly as he bit his lip.
Robert stilled for a second, pulling away from the older lad and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Where up north and for how long? You know we leave for New York the 28th.”
“I know I uh, I plDianed for us to be back the 27th if that’s okay.”
“Yeah sure, that’s fine,” Robert said as he nodded to himself. “But where are we going? Did you want to go up to Emmerdale to visit your family?” he asked, almost a bit surprised, knowing Aaron wasn’t all that close with them.
Aaron opened his mouth to say something, trying to figure out what to tell the younger lad. Emmerdale was only about two hours away from where he actually wanted to go and was somewhat in the same general direction, so maybe he could just say they were going there.
“Yeah I uhm, you know I haven’t seen them since Holden was born so I thought it’d be nice,” he said quietly, trying his best to sound convincing because he was maybe the world’s worst liar.
“Of course, yeah,” Robert said through a small smile. “And thanks for inviting me along and everything, I’m sure it’ll be great,” he said, pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple. “I think your mum will be really happy to see you.”
Aaron had to physically stop himself from scoffing and rolling his eyes at the thought of actually seeing his mum and not just getting a phone call from her. Instead he just hummed and nodded as he offered the younger lad a soft smile.
“If you want I can even drive up there. We can take my Range Rover so we’ll have some room in the car for bags and everything,” Robert offered.
“Yeah, let’s take your car but uhm, if it’s okay can I drive?”
“Aaron are you sure?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “That’s like a three hour drive.”
“Yeah, m’sure,” Aaron said as he grinned up at him.
Robert looked at the older lad for a second, him acting a little strange about all of this but nodded anyway. “So is that all you wanted to ask me then?”
Aaron nodded and was about to ask why but he couldn’t even do that before he felt Robert’s lips on him again. But it was also the same exact time he heard the oven timer go off, signalling the same time their pizza for lunch was done.
"Later," Aaron said, sending a wink to the younger lad and patting his thigh before getting up to get the pizza.
Robert let out a groan as he threw his head back against the couch and just as he was about to complain a pair of lips cut him off.
“You know, you’re really bad at this whole taking it slow thing,” Aaron said teasingly, just barely pulling away from the younger lad.
Robert smiled softly up at Aaron as he stood over him, and couldn’t help but wrap his arms around the older lad and pull him into his lap. “Well I just thought that it’s your birthday and we should make it memorable,” he mumbled into his neck. “Remember when we were together and how we spent your birthday?... In bed?... And on the couch? And the kitchen? And-”
Aaron cleared his throat, his face immediately heating up as he very well remembered that birthday. “Y-yeah well uhm t-that won’t be happening any time soon,” he managed to stutter out before patting Robert’s chest and trying to get off his lap.
Robert hummed, tightening his grip on the older lad just so he could peck his lips quickly and then pat his bum, letting him get up. “You get the pizza, I’ll get the boy,” he said, standing up with Aaron.
“Fair warning, he only got about an hour long nap so you’ll be in for a little bit of a fight to get him up,” Aaron said, making his way towards the kitchen.
Robert let out a dramatic deep breath as he nodded and cracked his knuckles, mentally and physically preparing himself. “If you hear crying it’s probably coming from me. Wish me luck,” he said as seriously as possible, earning a Loud laugh from the older lad.
“There will be no crying on Christmas eve!!” Aaron yelled from the kitchen. “Best way to wake him up is to rub his back, try that!”
Robert actually took note of that before making his way down the hall and to Holden’s room. A cranky 3 year old was something he didn’t want, especially with it being Aaron’s birthday and they still had big plans for later. He was sure though that if he reminded Holden of their plans the toddler would have no problems perking up.
*~*
“I can’t believe you’re making me wear this monkey suit,” Aaron grumbled as Robert did his tie around his neck.
“Oh stop, you’re fine,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, trying to focus on what he was doing. “You have to admit you’ve had a pretty amazing day.”
Aaron rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help the small smile that came to him. This may have been one of the best birthdays he’s had in a long, long time, but he couldn’t give Robert satisfaction that easily. He was sure the younger lad knew already anyway.
The day was nice and relaxing, after lunch Robert packed a bag and they went back to Aaron’s house where the younger lad put the fireplace on and the three of them cuddled up for a Christmas movie.
Robert had also made dinner, remembering Aaron’s absolute favorite comfort foods and surprising him with maybe the best barbeque pulled pork and mac and cheese poppers Aaron has ever had in his life. He was sure after dinner Holden had two new favorite foods as well. But it was time for Robert and Holden’s surprise and Aaron for the life of him couldn’t figure out why they would make him put on a suit.
“There we go, all done,” Robert said happily once he was done with Aaron’s tie, pressing a gentle kiss to the older lad’s cheek.
Aaron nodded and let out a quiet breath before turning to look in his mirror, having to admit that maybe this wasn’t so bad.
“You look amazing,” Robert said softly, coming up behind Aaron and wrapping his arms around his waist before nuzzling his nose into his neck.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he ducked his head sheepishly and turned around in the younger lad’s arms before wrapping his own arms around his neck and smiling up at him. “You always looked better than me in suits,” he said, gently fixing Robert’s bowtie and running his hand down the front of his jacket.
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he shook his head and dipped down, softly pressing his lips to the older lad’s. And just as he tightened his arms around Aaron he heard the little patter of feet running into the bedroom.
“No more kissin and help!!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s suit jacket.
Aaron couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him before feeling the younger lad peck his lips one more time and looking down at the toddler. “Look at you my handsome boy,” he said, seeing Holden in his own little suit. “Did Robert get this for you?”
“Yeah!” Holden said happily, Robert kneeling down to his height and taking his bowtie from him so he could tie it around his neck. “But Robert I need talk to you.”
“Of course buddy,” Robert said, fixing the bowtie around the 3 year old’s neck. “Is it about the surprise though? Remember we can’t tell daddy.”
“No, no about surprise,” Holden said shaking his head. “You no more kissin daddy,” he said seriously, pointing a little finger at the older man.
“What? No more kissing daddy? Why not?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows, tucking Holden’s dress shirt into his pants and making sure his jacket was on right.
Aaron looked down at his son, almost nervous that he didn’t like the idea of him potentially being with Robert. The younger lad looking back at him a bit nervous himself, seeming like he was thinking the same thing.
“Because if you kiss daddy that mean less kisses for me,” Holden said through a small pout.
Aaron let out a breath of relief the same time Robert laughed to himself and shook his head. “Trust me R, I have unlimited kisses for both of you,” he said, scooping the toddler up and kissing him all over his face, making Holden giggle.
Robert looked over at the older lad with raised eyebrows before stepping closer to Aaron, making sure he was close enough so Holden couldn’t hear. “We’ll have to put that to test later then, won’t we?” he teased through a whisper.
Aaron rolled his eyes as he gently elbowed the younger lad and shifted the toddler on his hip. “C’mon boys, we can’t be late to wherever it is we’re going.”
“Fine,” Robert breathed out through a small smile.
“Surprise time!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his daddy’s arms. “Robert we go in big space car!!” he said as his father started heading towards the stairs.
“Yeah, we’re going in big space car,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, the toddler referring to his Range Rover.
Holden nearly squealed as he heard that, if possible loving the big space car more than the little one. And once everyone had their winter coats, gloves and scarves on he was quick to run out into the snow and try to open the car door.
Robert helped Holden into his seat and when the toddler was all buckled up and Aaron was walking towards the car after locking the front door he opened the passenger door for the older lad and let him get in before he made his way to his own side of the car.
As soon as they were on the road Robert reached over, placing a gentle hand on Aaron’s thigh and softly smiling to himself as he felt the older lad place his hand on top of his own. He could also feel the tickets burning a hole in his inside jacket pocket, praying that Aaron would even remotely like where they were going.
Robert had some faith though. He thought the rest of the night would be lovely and that hopefully he and Holden made this birthday special.
The entire ride they were singing along to Christmas carols and Holden looked out the window, mesmerized by the shining snow that covered the ground. But they were about halfway there when Aaron’s phone ringing stopped their singing and the older lad took his hand off Robert’s, reaching into his pocket and pulling it out.
“Who’s that?” Robert asked glancing over to him before looking back to the road.
“Pete,” Aaron said through a quiet breath, thinking the younger lad was calling him to say happy birthday and wish them a Merry Christmas.
“Uncle Pete?” Holden perked his head up. “Daddy, daddy, give me!!” he said quickly, reaching from his seat, wanting the phone.
Aaron looked over to Robert quickly, biting his lip and thinking about it for a second before letting out a deep breath, tapping the “accept” button and passing his phone to the toddler.
“Uncle Pete!!” Holden nearly yelled into the phone excitedly.
Robert glanced in the rear view mirror, seeing Holden smile so wide it must’ve hurt as he listened to whatever it was Pete was saying. He felt Aaron’ss hand back on his, this time tangling their fingers together and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
Robert offered the older lad a small tight lined smile before bringing up their folded hands and kissing Aaron’s gently. He settled them back on Aaron’s lap, every so often looking back at Holden and hearing some of his conversation with Pete.
“Uncle Pete why you sound sad?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. But as soon as he heard the older man on the other line he couldn’t help but frown at what he had said. “I miss you too,” he said quietly.
At that Aaron turned around, asking for his phone back before Holden could ask Pete when he could see him. And thankfully the toddler didn’t put up much of a fight, letting out a deep breath before saying bye to his uncle and passing his daddy his phone.
“Hey mate,” he said into the phone, catching Robert’s eye as he glanced over at him and listened to Pete through the phone. “Yeah thanks, and Merry Christmas to you too.”
He tangled his fingers with the younger lad’s again, getting a small smile out of him before he focused back on the snowy streets. “Uhm no I’m actually not at home,” Aaron said focusing back on what Pete was saying. “Robert is taking Holden and I somewhere, they’ve got a little surprise for me,” he said, giving Robert’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Pete says hi and Merry Christmas,” Aaron said, shifting his eyes to the younger lad.
Robert hummed as he nodded to himself and kept his focus on the road in front of him, knowing they were getting close the further and further they got into the city.
“He says hi and Merry Christmas back,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, earning and playful eye roll from the curly haired lad. “Yes of course he really said it, I swear,” he said, Pete doubting that Robert said anything. “No, no trust me he doesn’t hate you that much, he just-”
Robert scoffed, looking over at Aaron like “are you kidding me?” before shaking his head and turning back to the road. “As if he likes me at all either,” he muttered.
He felt Aaron squeeze his hand so he looked over to him, only to see the older lad mouth “stop it” and nod towards Holden in the back seat. So Robert let out a deep breath and nodded, grateful the toddler was too focused on the snow falling around the car to actually be listening.
Aaron only talked with Pete for a few more minutes before saying his final goodbyes and hanging up the phone, noticing how far into the city they were. “Are we almost there?”
“Right here,” Robert said happily, pulling up to the curb, right next to a valet.
He hopped out of the car, passing his keys to the valet before getting a receipt for the car and going over to Aaron’s door to help him out. As soon as Aaron was out of the car and the pair made quick work of getting Holden out, Robert took the older lad’s hand to lead him to where they needed to go.
“Wait, whoa, whoa,” Aaron said, pulling on Robert’s hand, his eyes going wide as he saw where they were. “We’re not going in there,” he said in disbelief.
“What? There?” Robert asked through an amused smile. “Of course we are, that’s where your surprise is,” he said, tugging Aaron’s hand and nearly dragging him forward.
“Daddy walk, it’s cold,” Holden said, cuddling into his father’s chest to get warm.
Aaron opened and closed his mouth, trying to gather where they were and that they were actually going inside. But the closer and closer they got to the building, seeing people dressed in fancy clothes like them it felt less and less real.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening,” he barely whispered as he shifted Holden on his hip and looked up to the huge round building. “Robert squeeze my hand so I know this is real, holy shit.”
Robert couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he squeezed the older lad’s hand. “Welcome to Royal Albert Hall,” he said through a soft smile once they made their way through the doors.
Aaron felt his jaw drop as he gently placed Holden down, scared if he held him any longer he would drop him out of shock. “Robert I don’t even know what to say…”
“Well you could ask what we’re seeing,” Robert said teasingly, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out the tickets.
Aaron could barely breathe as he slowly reached for the tickets from Robert and as soon as he saw what was printed on them he slapped a hand over his mouth. Even if Holden was looking at him like he was crazy and Robert was letting out barking laughs he didn’t care, this was too perfect to be true.
“Oh, stop, don’t do that, c’mere,” Robert said, wrapping Aaron in a strong hug, seeing as he was a second away from crying.
Aaron immediately wrapped his arms around Robert, tucking his head into the younger lad’s neck and trying desperately to keep himself together. “Y-you remembered,” he barely managed to whisper.
Robert felt himself still for a second, letting out a deep breath and pulling Aaron even closer to his chest. “Of course I did,” he said softly, rubbing gentle circles into the older lad’s back.
Aaron sniffled to himself, wiping away the single tear that escaped him before reaching a hand behind the younger lad’s neck and pulling him down for a soft kiss. And it was immediate Robert started kissing him back, his smile unmissable as he cupped his cheeks and moved his lips gently against his own.
“Happy birthday,” Robert said quietly through a small grin, leaning his forehead against the older lad’s before pecking his lips one last time.
Aaron smiled right back up at him, carding his fingers through back of the younger lad’s curls right before he felt a light tug on his suit jacket.
“Daddy, Robert come on, we miss show,” Holden whined as he raised his arms, wanting to be picked up and growing impatient.
“Let your pop carry you, I’m afraid I’ll drop you from shock,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, the toddler nodding and letting Robert scoop him up.
The three made their way towards the theater, getting their coats checked and led to where their seats were. Of course Aaron should’ve expected Robert to get the best box seats the theater had to offer and all to themselves no less, but still when they got there his jaw went slack.
“Robert this is incredible,” Aaron said as he looked around the large theater around them, settling in his seat next to the younger lad.
“I’m happy you like it,” Robert said, adjusting Holden on his lap. Even when he told the toddler he had a seat for him the 3 year old was adamant about staying on his lap and cuddling into his chest. But just as he got completely comfortable he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. “Hey Aaron it’s Clara, I gotta take this,” he said, standing up and placing Holden on his seat. “I’ll be quick, promise,” Robert said, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the older lad’s cheek before answering his phone and heading out of the box.
Aaron smiled after him before turning back around in his seat and looking down at Holden. He still couldn’t get over how cute he looked in his little perfectly fitted tux with his hair styled the same way as his. Really Aaron was more or less surprised the 3 year old wasn’t complaining about it.
“Daddy?” Holden asked, shifting in his seat so he was sitting on his knees and fully looking at his father.
“What big guy?”
“What Robert remember that make you sad?” Holden asked quietly. “You no like you surprise?”
“Oh buddy I love my surprise, I really do,” Aaron said softly, wrapping an arm around the toddler. “Do you remember when I told you that Robert and I used to be very good friends?” he asked quietly.
Holden furrowed his eyebrows but nodded slowly, somewhat remembering that conversation he had with his father all those months ago.
“Well when we were good friends we spent my birthday together and I told him about when I was little like you that I used to watch a movie with my family and this musical we’re seeing is that movie,” Aaron explained quietly. “I told him that I’ve always wanted to come here because every year they put in on on Christmas Eve but I never had the chance to go,” he said, thinking that without Robert he probably never would’ve been able to come since the tickets were beyond expensive.
Holden’s mouth made an ‘O’ as he nodded to himself and reached for his daddy’s tie, wanting to play with it. “Well I happy you like you surprise,” he said through a small smile.
“I love my surprise,” Aaron said, kissing the toddler on his cheek. “This is the best birthday ever, thank you buddy.”
“Well Robert help little bit,” Holden said as he giggled to himself.
“I’m sure your pop helped more than a little there buddy,” Aaron said through his own laugh, gently rubbing the his son’s back. “R can I ask you something?” he said softly.
“Okay daddy,” Holden said, playing with his father’s tie.
“Buddy you do understand that Robert is your other dad right?” Aaron asked quietly, taking his tie away from the 3 year old, wanting him to look at him. “Like you understand what that means?”
“He other daddy like you,” Holden said as he nodded to himself.
Aaron bit his lip, the toddler seeming to get what he was saying, that he understood just fine that Robert was his father as much as Aaron was. And it was a bit of a relief to him that Holden really understood or wasn’t confused over it.
“Hey, sorry about that,” Robert said, coming back into the box and picking Holden up, only to sit and place him right back down on his lap.
“Everything okay?” Aaron asked, feeling someone tap his shoulder before he saw someone offering him a program for the show and he took it gratefully.
“Yeah she just saw a couple pictures up online of us being here and she asked if she wanted me to have a bodyguard come, but I said it was okay,” Robert breathed out, looking over to the older lad and having to hold back a laugh as he saw him squinting at the program.
He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out Aaron’s glasses and passing them to him. He remembered when they were dating he would always carry them around because for some reason Aaron could never remember them. So whenever they went out to eat or the blue eyed lad was doing homework Robert always had them on him just in case.
“Look at you all prepared,” Aaron said through a chuckle, taking his glasses from the younger lad and putting them on. “And how can pictures be up of us? We haven’t even been here that long.”
“I know it’s annoying but it’s normal,” Robert said quietly. “It’s just fan pics, that’s all,” he said, wrapping his arms around Holden and burying his nose in the toddler’s feathery hair.
Aaron hummed as he scDianed down the program, trying to hold back how excited he was as he read more about it. He could hear Holden and Robert talking about something but he was a bit too invested in what he was reading about the show. It was only when the lights were dimming did he put the program down and quickly looked to the stage, Robert having to put his hand on his thigh just to keep him still.
Aaron quickly passed his glasses back to Robert, more like shoving them at him before locking his gaze on the stage.
Robert scrambled to actually take the glasses from the older lad but as soon as they were back in his jacket pocket he wrapped a secure arm around Holden and placed a gentle hand on Aaron’s thigh, feeling his hand on top of his a second later. And as Robert glanced over at the older lad it was impossible to miss his wide smile as he looked at the stage. Then there was also Holden cuddling into his chest and Robert only wondered how long it would take for him to doze off.
But as the opening to A Christmas Carol started he couldn’t remember the last time he had such a nice Christmas Eve. It was probably the one he spent with Aaron all those years ago, and Robert could only hope that the older lad thought the same thing.
*~*
“Aaron I’ll put him to bed you just go relax,” Robert said quietly, carefully shifting a sleeping Holden in his arms.
“Right, right, relax, I can do that,” Aaron said, quickly nodding to himself before kissing Holden and scurrying off towards his room down the hall.
Robert shook his head as he laughed to himself and slowly walked into Holden’s room.
Then entire car ride home the older lad wouldn’t shut up, he just went on and on about how amazing the musical was and how special all night has been, Robert was surprised he hasn’t tired himself out from talking so much. But if anything he was relieved to see Aaron so happy and say that he had a great birthday, that’s all Robert really wanted.
Of course Holden fell asleep about an hour into the musical and Robert thought he was far too cute to move from his chest so for most of the night the toddler was snoring into his neck.
And even as Robert placed him in bed, got him out of his tux and put his pajamas on the toddler was still sound asleep. Well he was until Robert pulled his blankets over him and placed a gentle kiss to his temple.
“Papa.”
Robert felt himself freeze at what he heard Holden mumble tiredly, his breath coming up short and eyes lock on the 3 year old. “Yeah buddy?” he barely whispered.
“Papa night night,” Holden said quietly, his eyes falling shut again sleepily before plopping his thumb in his mouth and sucking on it gently.
Robert swallowed thickly, a soft smile coming to him as he tried to blink back tears. “Goodnight buddy,” he said kissing the toddler one more time. “Daddy and I will see you in the morning for Christmas.”
Robert could just barely see the small smile that came to Holden as he continued sucking on his thumb before the 3 year old completely fell back asleep. And Robert doesn’t know how he did it, but he managed to get up from the bed and make it into the hallway before rubbing his hands over his face, not believing what had just happened, what he just heard.
He glanced back at the door one more time before shuffling his feet forward, making his way to Aaron’s room and carefully opening the door.
“Was he okay?” Aaron asked, pulling a shirt over his head before he turned around and faced the younger lad. “R? Rob what’s wrong?” he asked, Robert looking between a mixture of being lost and like he was about to cry.
Robert opened his mouth but absolutely nothing came out as he shook his head and walked towards the bed, needing to take a seat.
“Robert you’re actually making me nervous, what’s wrong?” Aaron asked worriedly. “Is Holden okay? Did something happen?”
Robert bit his lip as he shook his head and looked to the older lad next to him on the bed. And Aaron must’ve seen that he was desperately trying hold back tears at the way he gasped.
“Aaron he… R-he called me papa,” Robert said, still trying to grasp it. “I-I mean he actually said it for the first time and he knew it was me and everything…”
“Robert that’s amazing,” Aaron said softly through a small grin, wrapping his arms around the younger lad and pulling him into his chest. “See I told you there was nothing to worry about.”
“Do you think he actually meant it though?” Robert asked quietly, just barely pulling away from Aaron. “Like he’s all sleepy, do you think he’ll remember in the morning?” he asked with a touch of nervousness in his voice.
“Well we’ll have to see in the morning,” Aaron said, cupping Robert’s cheek and gently running his thumb over the younger lad’s skin before getting up from the bed.
Robert nodded and let out a quiet breath, trying to calm down and not overthink this too much. He was beyond happy that Holden had finally called him something other than just “Robert”. But he was also nervous that he only said it because he was tired, that in the morning he would wake up and not remember saying it.
“R don’t stress about it alright? Get out of that suit, I’m gonna bring Santa’s gifts downstairs and then we’ll talk some more okay?”
All Robert could do was nod again before running his fingers through his hair and watching as Aaron opened his closet, the thing nearly bursting with the amount of presents he had in there. But then again when they did go shopping it was a bit of a free for all.
“You have all your gifts down there?” Aaron asked, trying to balance presents in his arms.
“Yeah they’re all by the tree,” Robert said, offering the older lad a small smile.
“Great,” Aaron grinned back at him. “I’ll be right back.”
Robert watched as Aaron walked out of the room before reaching for his bowtie and pulling it off. He made his way to his suitcase in the corner of the room, sifting through the clothes he packed for the weekend before pulling out a fresh shirt and taking the rest of his tux off. He made sure to put it on the hanger and in it’s bag like Clara always tells him to, not needing to ruin a perfectly good £30,000 suit.
And by the time he was in his boxers, had a new shirt on and his teeth were brushed Aaron was done taking the mountain of presents in his closet down to the Christmas tree.
“No pants?” Aaron asked jokingly. “I see you’ve taken to my ways.”
Robert rolled his eyes, Aaron knowing very well this is how he normally sleeps but just feels like harassing him because of that one time he wore joggers to bed. He grabbed his phone charger from his bag and kissed the older lad’s cheek gently as he walked past him, saying a quiet goodnight.
“Wait,” Aaron said, stopping Robert and grabbing his hand. “Where are you going?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I was gonna sleep on the couch,” Robert said a bit confused as that’s what Aaron always does when he sleeps at his flat.
Aaron scratched the back of his neck as he bit his lip, glancing back towards his bed before looking back at the younger lad.
“Aw Aaron,” Robert said teasingly as he smiled to himself. “Come on say it. Just ask, I know you want to,” he said with raised eyebrows and when the older lad just blushed to himself Robert had to poke fun at him a bit more. “I won’t get in the bed unless you ask,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Aaron was trying desperately to hold back his smile as he looked everywhere except for the younger lad. “You can uhm… Do you maybe want to uh…?” he asked, pointing to the bed. “I-I mean you can uhm, you can sleep in here… If you want.”
“Well technically that wasn’t asking but because it’s your birthday I’ll let it slide,” Robert said, winking at the older lad before patting his bum as he walked past him and to the bed. “Still sleep on the right side?”
Aaron hummed as he grinned to himself, turning off the main light so it was just his bedside table lamp on before he climbed on top of the covers next to the younger lad. And just as he rolled over to face Robert he saw him already laying on his side, his hand holding his head up as he wiggled his eyebrows at him.
Aaron let out a barking laugh, shoving Robert’s shoulder so he was laying down before hiding his face in his pillow and hearing the younger lad laughing next to him. “In your dreams,” he muttered, rolling onto his stomach and turning his head on the pillow to look at the green eyed lad.
“You’re right,” Robert said through a chuckle, wrapping an arm over Aaron’s waist and pulling him into his side, earning a dramatic groan from the older lad. “Oh don’t complain you asked me to sleep in here, this is what you get. And besides we never did pick up where we left off on the couch.”
“You mean where you left off,” Aaron teased, bringing up his hand to run his fingers through the younger lad’s short curls.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t love it,” Robert said through a small smirk, picking himself up so he was just slightly hovering over Aaron before dipping his head and connecting his lips to his neck. “Trust me I know exactly-” he mumbled against him, pressing another kiss into his skin, “what drives you crazy.”
Aaron opened his mouth, more than ready to tell Robert otherwise but absolutely nothing came out as he threw his head back against the pillow, feeling the younger lad’s lips trailing up his neck, sucking gently before placing a wet kiss there and moving on.
Aaron wasn’t going to lie, he forgot how good it felt to be touched like this, to be touched at all by someone. But this wasn’t just someone, this was Robert. Robert who knew exactly what to do to him, how to drive him mad and make him beg for more. And even after all these years Aaron still felt weak with the younger lad’s lips on him.
He felt Robert’s fingers digging into his waist and the way his teeth gently grazed over his skin before planting a hot kiss over his markings. And the more the younger lad kissed and nipped at him Aaron couldn’t help the silent pleas that escaped him.
“Want me to stop?” Robert asked through a quiet breath, taking his lips off the older lad and looking down at him.
Aaron didn’t even think before shaking his, reaching a hand up and pulling Robert down for a hard kiss. And it was almost immediate the younger lad was kissing him back, letting out a deep breath against him before gripping his waist impossibly tighter to keep him in place.
Aaron’s hands were all over him, one buried in his curls while the other travelled up and down his back, feeling his warm skin through the thin material. And all he wanted to do was touch everything as their lips moved feverishly against one anothers.
He wanted to feel the dip in Robert’s back, feel the way the younger lad’s skin rose, the same way it used to when they kissed like this. And just as he reached a careful hand under Robert’s shirt, pressing a palm into his heated skin Aaron felt the younger lad lay down completely on him, his bulge under the thin material of his boxers all too noticeable.
Aaron gasped, feeling his heart begin to steadily pound in his chest and his palms get clammy at everything he was feeling before he felt Robert hesitantly tasting into his mouth, letting out a low moan in the back of his throat as Aaron kissed him right back.
He almost forgot how good Robert was, how the younger lad made him feel with just the way he would kiss him.
And all of a sudden it was too much.
Aaron knew how easily worked up he could get, how eager Robert got and with the way he was kissing the younger lad back with so much urgency, so much want, he knew that if he didn’t end this now then it would lead to a place he wasn’t ready for yet.
But Robert just tasted so good and the way he was running his hands through his hair, up and down his side, Aaron never wanted it to stop. Never wanted the younger lad’s lips off his, never wanted Robert’s skin not to be touching his own.
Aaron needed this to stop though. Already just at snogging Robert he could feel that heat rise in gut, feel the way his boxers got a little bit smaller. But he didn’t even need to stop the younger lad before he was releasing the kiss and resting his forehead on his chest, letting out a couple deep breaths.
“You might be sick of hearing this, but holy shit I missed you,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, resting his chin on Aaron’s chest and smiling up at him softly.
Aaron bit his lip, trying to fend off his own grin as he ran his fingers through Robert’s curls. “Well I wish I could say the same, but I kinda hated you after you left.”
“Understandable,” Robert mumbled, rolling off the older lad and adjusting himself slightly.
“But hey,” Aaron said, reaching over for Robert and draping an arm over his waist. “With you here now I… Well I’m really happy,” he said quietly.
Robert turned his head on the pillow and smiled at the older lad before leaning forward and kissing him sweetly. “I’m happy too,” he said before pecking Aaron’s lips one more and settling back against the bed. “Happier than I thought I ever would be after we broke up…”
Aaron smiled right back at him, moving his hand from the younger lad’s waist and carding his fingers through his hair. He was sure Robert as much as him wanted to go back to that day all those years ago and change everything.
He wished he had just shouted it when Robert was leaving the room, or that he told the younger lad as soon as he found out.
But it was too late for that. At least they were here now, trying to fix everything between them and take their time with their relationship, whatever that was at this point.
At least he had Robert next to him as he turned off the bedside table lamp, got under the covers and felt the younger lad’s arms wrap around him, pulling him into his chest and kissing his hair before settling against the pillow.
And Aaron just let himself get pulled in, let the soft smile that came to him grow as he laid on Robert’s chest and heard the steady beat of his heart.
For the first time in years he fell asleep in Robert’s arms, fell asleep with a smile on his face and the younger lad’s lips brushing against his skin as he whispered a barely audible “happy birthday”.
*~*
“Get up! Get up!! It Christmas!!!” Holden screamed, crashing into his daddy’s room and immediately climbing on his bed, making sure to jump up and down to wake the two up.
All Aaron did was let out a quiet groan before hiding his face in Robert’s neck, it being far too early for this.
“Daddy,” Holden whined, dropping his entire body on his father. But when he saw that his father wasn’t moving an inch he let out a quiet breath. “Papa make daddy get up,” he groaned.
At that Robert opened his eyes and smiled at the 3 year old as Aaron picked his head off his chest. “I’ll get him up buddy, you just go downstairs, we’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said, only to let out a yawn a second later.
Holden let out a Loud squeal, jumping on the two again before climbing off the bed and running out of the room.
Aaron watched as Holden ran out, only to smile to himself before resting his chin on Robert’s chest to look up at him. “Well then papa…” he said through a quiet chuckle, running his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “Good morning and Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” Robert said, grinning down at Aaron before cupping his cheek and kissing him gently. “Now you heard the boy, it’s time to get up,” he said as he laughed to himself, pat the older lad’s bum and got out from under him to swing his legs over the bed to get up and search for a pair of joggers.
Aaron sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Pass me my pants,” he said through a yawn.
As soon as Robert had his joggers on he walked over to Aaron’s dresser, looking through all of them until he found a pair of pajama pants. He passed them to him before sleepily making his way across the hall to brush his teeth and when Aaron had joined him in the bathroom and they both had fresh breaths they went downstairs, only to see Holden with Rob in his lap and talking excitedly to him.
“Alright buddy, you can start but remember only open the ones with your name on them,” Aaron said, plopping himself on the couch.
Holden didn’t need to be told twice before getting Rob off his lap and lunging at the mountain of presents, squealing as he saw that half of them were from Santa.
Aaron couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as Holden began shredding the wrapping paper off his presents before nearly yelling his thank you’s and picking up another one to open.
“I’ll get you tea Aaron,” Robert said, giving the older lad’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before shuffling into the kitchen.
Aaron swears when Robert came back only minutes later with a mug full of tea he’s never been so grateful for the hot drink.
Holden continued opening presents, some saying they were from santa, others saying they that were from both his daddies. But when the toddler came across gifts that weren’t for him he would run them over to his daddy and papa, passing it to whoever it belonged to.
Aaron had opened the gifts Robert had gotten him, all of them being more than lovely and thoughtful, but when he opened the Emmerdale Rover’s jersey and saw tickets to see them play in London in a few months he lunged at the younger lad, wrapping him in a strong hug.
He couldn’t recall the last time he caught a game, but the fact that Robert even remembered he liked them meant more than anything.
Robert had opened the gifts Aaron and Holden got him, Aaron remembering that the younger lad was a fan of the American football team the Packers and getting him a jersey. It seemed as though they were thinking about the same thing when it came to sports and jersey’s.
They had also gotten Robert a small pocket watch, Aaron knowing that he always liked those kind of vintage things. But it was Holden’s idea to put a picture of the three of them in it and Aaron thought that was more than a nice touch. And Robert seemed to think so too as he kissed the older lad sweetly before wrapping Holden in a strong hug.
Of course Aaron still had another present for the younger lad, but this one he didn’t buy and Robert wasn’t going to get it until later. And when he told him that the green eyed lad did nothing but look at him confused before shrugging.
“I have another present for you too but I think I’m going to give that to you later. You know, when we’re with your family and everything,” Robert said offering the older lad a small smile.
Aaron bit his lip as he nodded, only growing more and more nervous for the gift he was going to give Robert later. “Sure,” he said, grinning back at him.
“Daddy those all my presents?” Holden asked, looking around and seeing everything unwrapped.
“You actually have one more buddy,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, seeing the toddler’s eyes go wide. “It’s upstairs in the playroom, why don’t you go check it out?”
Holden didn’t waste a second before taking off for the stairs, leaving his laughing dads behind him as they followed after him.
He ran until he got up the stairs, as quickly as possible heading for the door across from his bedroom and pushing it open, immediately letting out a Loud scream as he saw what it was.
“Trampoline!!!” he yelled before sprinting at it and jumping up and down.
“I think you have a winner with that one,” Robert said as he leaned against the doorframe and chuckled to himself.
“Yeah, I had a feeling that would be the favorite,” Aaron said, watching as his son giggled to himself and hopped up and down on the little trampoline. “But now that presents are done I’m gonna start breakfast and we can get the day going.”
Robert nodded and smiled down at older lad before pecking his lips and following him down the stairs, heading into the living room to clean everything up.
And once all the wrappings from the presents were in a trash bag Robert began bringing up all of Holden’s toys to his playroom, the toddler playing with everything he brought up.
They had breakfast when Aaron was done making it. Chocolate chip pancakes, sausage and eggs, and when they were done eating Holden didn’t waste a second before hopping out of his booster seat to go back upstairs to play with his toys.
After about an hour though he had to be stopped, needing to actually get dressed for the day, but when he was done with that he went right back into the playroom.
He played with Rob and showed him all of his new toys, and played with his daddies until it was time for lunch.
Aaron had soup left over from a couple days ago so he put that on the stove and let Robert and Holden keep playing upstairs until it was ready.
He knew they would be leaving in the next hour or so and it was more than nerve wracking as he thought about what he was really doing. He didn’t know how Robert would react, if he would be furious or happy or what. But it was too late to back out now.
So when they all had stomachs full of soup, Aaron and Holden packed a bag for the weekend and everything was in the car Aaron hopped in the driver’s seat of Robert’s Range Rover .
Holden didn’t know where they were going, but he didn’t ask either because he was too busy napping in the back seat and Robert was happy, thinking that Aaron was trying to reconnect with his family.
But once Aaron pulled onto the highway he let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to stay calm and not make the younger lad suspicious with how he was acting.
“Aaron did you get any gifts for your mum or sisters?” Robert suddenly asked, going wide eyed. “Oh my God, we can’t just show up at their house without anything on Christmas.”
“Uhm yeah, I uh, I have gift cards for them,” Aaron said quietly, keeping his eyes on the road. It was true he had gift cards, but they weren’t for his family.
“Oh good,” Robert breathed out. “I would’ve felt awful and made you pull over to a shop so we could get them something,” he said through a quiet laugh.
Aaron hummed as he nodded to himself, turning on the windshield wipers as it began snowing.
“You okay Aaron?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Are you nervous about seeing them or something? Because I’m sure they’re really excited to see you.”
“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Aaron said, gripping the steering wheel just a bit tighter as he drove past the exit he should’ve taken to head in the direction of Emmerdale, hoping Robert wouldn’t notice.
They had been driving for about two hours already and luckily Robert hasn’t been all that suspicious and thankfully Holden was still sleeping, tired from waking up so early this morning. But Aaron knew it was only a matter of time before the younger lad looked around and saw where they were. And of course just as he was thinking that Robert spoke up.
“Where are we?” Robert asked, looking out the front window and taking note of the signs. “Why are we passing through Birmingham?” he asked confused.
“It’s uhm, i-it’s just another way to get to Donny,” Aaron said quietly.
“Aaron we should be going through Leicester or Nottingham, this is wrong,” Robert said looking around and growing more and more confused. But then he caught it, his eyes catching on a sign that had Leeds written on it before the older lad took the exit to go there. “Aaron… What are you doing?” he barely whispered.
Aaron swallowed thickly as he looked over at Robert, the younger lad’s eyes already on him. He couldn’t find it in himself to say anything though, his words getting caught in his throat.
“Aaron,” Robert said again, this time having a slight edge to his voice. But when the older lad continued to ignore him he knew exactly what Aaron was doing. “Pull over.”
Aaron glanced over at Robert quickly, opening his mouth to say something but the younger lad was already shaking his head.
“Aaron pull over right now,” Robert said firmly.
“Robert listen, I know-”
“Aaron pull over!!” Robert snapped, making the older lad jump in his seat and Holden wake up.
Aaron bit his lip as he looked over at Robert and saw him nearly fuming, so he let out a quiet breath before pulling off to the side of the road, and as soon as the car stopped the younger lad stomped out. “Buddy stay here,” he said quickly to Holden hopping out of the car himself, seeing Robert pacing and running his fingers through his hair. “R…”
“You have no right,” Robert said, shaking his head. “I mean Aaron what were you thinking?!”
“I was thinking that I could help you fully get your life back,” Aaron said with raised eyebrows.
“By what? Forcing my relationship with my mum?!” Robert asked annoyed.
“Robert she wants to see you! She’s been trying to reach you ever since she left the hospital!!” Aaron said, straining himself not to raise his voice, all he wanted to do was help. “Remember how I couldn’t reach you because they changed your cellphone number? Well she was trying to reach you too, and so was your sister, but instead you just left them behind.”
Robert let out a frustrated groan into his hands, trying to ignore the falling snow around them, ignore the way he felt like screaming at the top of his lungs.
“R I know you’re scared,” Aaron said softly, taking a careful step towards the younger lad. “But please, please believe me when I say that your mum and sister desperately want to see you… They miss you so much, just please, I know you miss them too…”
Robert shook his head as he bit his lip, not even sure what it would be like to see his mum after all these years, after the way he treated her at the hospital.
“And your mum isn’t even mad or upset about what happened, she just wants to see you,” Aaron said quietly seeing Robert calm down a little bit.
Robert swallowed thickly, just at the thought of seeing his mum or sister making his eyes pool with tears. “Promise?” he barely whispered.
“Yes, I promise,” Aaron said, relaxing a bit.
Robert shifted his gaze to his shoes, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a deep breath. Without saying another word though he walked towards the car and got in the passenger seat, and just at the sight Aaron released a breath of relief before hopping in the driver’s seat, turning the car on and reaching for the younger lad’s hand, lacing their fingers together.
Even if Robert was a little bit upset with him Aaron knew he would get over it once he saw his family for the first time in years. And the younger lad didn’t say anything once they were back on the road, his gaze focused on the world outside his window, holding Aaron’s hand like a lifeline as they continued their drive into Leeds.
ALL I WANT PLAYLIST
Let Me Love YouNe-Yo-Glee Version3:38
Leave Your LoverSam Smith3:26
The OthersideTaylor Ward2:58
Give Your Heart A BreakGlee Version3:29
FriendsEd Sheeran3:09
Make You Feel My LoveAdele3:15
TonightJohn Legend Ft. Ludacris3:57
Sometime Around MidnightThe Airborne Toxic Event5:03
Kiss MeEd Sheeran4:35
InfinityOne Direction- Slow Mode5:24
I’m Gonna Find Another YouJohn Mayer2:43
ComfortableJohn Mayer5:02
Where Do Broken Heart GoOne Direction3:45
No Good in GoodbyeThe Script3:58
More TimeNeedtobreath4:22
ShatteredO.A.R3:57
I’m A MessEd Sheeran4:08
I Almost DoTaylor Swift3:59
Just A Little Bit Of Your HeartAriana Grande3:57
Don’t Let Me GoRobert Sugden3:50
The OneKodaline4:01
All I WantKodaline4:57
The OneSam Smith3:08
Make It To MeSam Smith3:09
Lay Me DownSam Smith4:01
I Was Made for Loving YouTory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran3:07
FaithfullyBoyce Avenue Cover4:49
Code by Layouttesst
Notes:
Thoughts on the chapter ?? Leave comments, say hi on tumblr, thanks !! Next chapter is the rest of Christmas and New Year's !! Some fun stuff will be happening :)
Chapter 10
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Papa?” Holden asked quietly as he bit his lip.
Robert let out a small breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around in his seat to face the toddler. “What buddy?”
“Papa you mad?” Holden asked with a touch of nervousness in his voice, unable to escape the heavy feeling in the car.
“No, I’m not mad,” Robert breathed out, probably not sounding all that convincing. And it was pretty clear that Holden didn’t believe him because of the way the toddler was frowning at him.
Holden bit his lip as he looked at his father and sat back against his seat. “You mad at daddy?” he asked, his gaze shifting to his lap.
At that Robert looked over to Aaron, the older lad glancing right back at him, worry flashing across his face. “Of course I’m not mad at daddy,” he said softly.
Aaron released a breath of relief, actually terrified that Robert was furious with him, but he knew the younger lad wasn’t when he brought up their tangled fingers and kissed his hand gently. He was also grateful that Holden seemed to believe Robert because he didn’t ask another question, instead focused out the window on the snow falling around the car.
“Does she know?” Robert asked so quietly he wasn’t sure Aaron heard him. “Does she know about Holden?”
“Yeah, she knows about him,” Aaron nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “I uhm, when I told her I said I had a son… I thought you would want to tell her yourself, but I think she already knows he’s yours or has an idea or something.”
Robert bit his lip as he ran a hand over his face, having no clue how all of this was going to play out. After years he was going to see his mum and sister, and with seeing them bringing back what had happened at the hospital with his mum. But not only that, he also had Holden and that more than anything terrified him for how they would react.
And the further they got into Leeds the more and more nervous Robert got.
His knee was bouncing up and down, his heart was pounding in his chest and his hands were clammy. Even when Aaron would squeeze his hand or thigh, or would rub his leg his nerves wouldn’t calm in the slightest.
And when they pulled up to his childhood home Robert was sure he wasn’t even breathing as Aaron parked the car.
“C’mere R, relax,” Aaron said softly, taking off his seat belt and reaching for the younger lad.
Robert let out a shaky breath as he felt Aaron pull him into his chest and kiss his head. “What if they’re mad at me? Aaron I was so awful to them and-”
“Listen to me,” Aaron said almost firmly as he pulled away slightly to look at the younger lad. “No one is mad or upset with you. Your mum and sister are so excited to see you, they don’t care about what’s happened in the past… All that matters now is you being here and taking this opportunity to make up with your family.”
Robert just looked at Aaron, searching his face that he might be lying to him, that his mum was actually upset with him. But the older lad wouldn’t do that to him, he wouldn’t make him come see his family if he knew they were upset with him.
“Can we get out?” Holden groaned, hating just sitting in the car.
“Buddy give your pop some time,” Aaron said softly, turning around in his seat to look at the 3 year old.
“Well where are we?” Holden asked, looking out the front window and seeing a house.
Robert bit his lip as he glanced back at Holden and let out a deep breath. “This is uhm, well this is my mum’s house. It’s where I grew up,” he said, his eyes locking on the house in front of him.
“Papa if you mummy inside you go!!” Holden said, suddenly very excited.
“R take your time,” Aaron said quietly as he rubbed a hand over the younger lad’s thigh.
Robert wasn’t even sure if he would be able to get out of the car without being dragged out. But he had to try. He wanted to see his mum, his sister, to talk to them and hear about everything he’s missed, how their lives have changed. But he also wanted and needed to make things right.
So before he could stop himself he opened the car door and cautiously stepped out.
Aaron watched as Robert slowly got out of the car, his hands nearly shaking as he gripped the door. He quickly hopped out himself, got Holden out of his seat and adjusted him on his hip before going over to the younger lad and rubbing his back.
“Everything’s gonna be fine R, it’s okay,” Aaron said, earning a nod from Robert before the younger lad very slowly shuffled his feet forward.
Aaron kept his eyes on Robert as the younger lad laced their fingers together and walked towards the house. He was clearly a nervous wreck, his breathing deep and shaky, his hands clammy and eyes focused on the ground. But once they got to the door Robert didn’t move a muscle.
Holden let out a quiet breath as he looked between his daddies, growing more and more impatient so he took matters into his own hands. He leaned out of his daddy’s arms, brought up his little fist and before anyone could stop him he knocked on the door.
“Holden!” Aaron said quickly, taking his son’s hand off the door and placing him on the ground.
Robert’s eyes went wide as he looked over to the 3 year old but he couldn’t even react before the door swung open.
“Robert…”
Just at hearing her voice he felt tears well up, and when Robert slowly turned his head she was there, her own tears pooling in her eyes. “Mum,” he barely whispered.
She nodded at him, a hand covering her mouth as she tried to hold back her tears. And Robert looked right back at her, his mouth opening and closing, not sure what to say. But before he uttered anything he rushed towards his mum, wrapping his arms around her and immediately hiding his face in her neck before he completely broke down in tears.
“Mum I-I’m sorry, I-I’m s-so sorry,” he cried, feeling his entire body shake in his mum’s arms.
And she hugged him right back, pressing kisses into his hair and holding onto him like any second he could leave again. “I know you are love, it’s okay,” she whispered back to him.
If possible Robert started crying even harder at those words. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven, not by his mum or by Aaron, but here they both were. And he stayed crying in his mum’s arms until his throat was sore and his nose was a running mess, but he had never been so grateful in his life to be where he was.
“Oh look at you,” Diane said, pulling away slightly wiping her own cheeks before wiping her son’s. “I missed you so much sweetheart,” she said, if possible feeling more tears come to her eyes.
“I-I missed you too,” Robert barely whispered, kissing her cheek before pulling her back into his chest. “Mum I really did, I-I’m sorry,”
Aaron bit his lip as he watched the two and felt Holden behind him, wrapping his arms around his leg, not quite sure what was going on. But as Aaron kept his eyes on them he felt it was nearly impossible not to feel his smile grow.
He knew right now they were emotional about finally seeing each other again, but he also couldn’t miss that through their tears they were smiling in each other’s arms.
“Oh and Aaron, oh my goodness look at you,” Diane said through a watery chuckle, immediately reaching for the younger man and hugging him tightly.
Aaron let out his own quiet laugh as he hugged her back, really missing Diane over the years as she was the mum he never really had.
“You have no idea how grateful I am, thank you,” Diane whispered to him, rubbing his back and giving Aaron and gentle squeeze.
“Of course,” Aaron said softly, kissing her cheek before he pulled away, feeling Holden reach for him and hide behind his legs.
“Daddy,” Holden said quietly, wrapping his arms around his legs again, not knowing who this person was or why she knew both his daddies.
Robert was still wiping his eyes, trying to get his lungs to work properly, and wanting his hands to stop shaking as he heard Holden. But then he glanced over at his mum, her eyes immediately looking to the toddler before looking back at him.
“R, c’mere buddy,” Robert said softly, pulling the 3 year old out from behind Aaron’s legs and picking him up.
He could nearly hear his heart pounding in his chest at what he was about to tell his mum. But from the look on her face, from how her eyes welled with more tears when she looked between the two of them and saw how much they look like alike, she knew.
“Holden this is my mum, can you say hi?” he asked, feeling the toddler wrap his arms around his neck and rest his head on his shoulder.
“Hi,” Holden said shyly as he bit his lip.
Robert smiled down at Holden and just as he was about to tell his mum he felt a little hand tap his shoulder. “Papa,” he heard Holden say, his mum gasping quietly as she heard the 3 year old. “Papa if that you mummy then she my nana,” the toddler said, the kids in his daycare talking about nanas and grandmas all the time.
If possible Robert’s smile only widened and when he looked over to Aaron he had the same grin as him. “Yeah, that’s right buddy,” he said softly.
Holden nodded to himself before looking back at the woman in front of him and offering her a small smile. “Hi nana,” he said, waving at her from his papa’s arms.
Aaron looked between the three of them, carefully reaching for Holden from Robert’s arms and taking him, seeing as Diane was a second away from breaking into sobs. And as soon as he had Holden the older woman didn’t waste a second before wrapping her arms around Robert again and kissing his cheek.
“In case you haven’t figured it out he’s mine and Aaron’s son,” Robert said, biting his lip to keep in a small laugh.
Diane rolled her eyes as she pulled away from her son and wiped her wet cheeks. “One thing I definitely missed were those jokes of yours,” she said through a quiet chuckle.
“We all know that’s a lie,” Aaron muttered, earning a jab from the younger lad.
“Oh, my goodness I realized we’re in the cold,” Diane said suddenly, feeling the December chill knocking into them. “Please boys, c’mon in.”
Robert was sure he was about to run into his childhood home, not believing he was actually here, that his mum was in front of him. But then he remembered something once they were inside the house, their shoes and coats off. “Mum is Gem here?” he asked quietly.
“She will be for dinner love, her and her boyfriend are at his parent’s house in Manchester right now,” Diane said, hanging up the three boys’ coats.
“Boyfriend?” Robert asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Who is she dating? Since when?”
“His name is Charlie, I think it’s been about 2 and a half years,” Diane said through a small laugh, her son sounding like his old protective self when Vic and boys came up.
Robert bit his lip as he nodded to himself, wondering just how much he missed over the years. “Well I can’t wait to see her,” he said quietly.
“And she’s excited to see you too sweetheart,” Diane said, offering Robert a warm smile as she led the three boys towards the living room, but just before they stepped into the room she stopped them. “Now R I uhm, I have to tell you something.”
Robert stilled for a second as he looked from his mum to Aaron, looking to see if he knew what she was going to say. But the older lad looked just as lost as he shifted Holden on his hip. He glanced back at her, swallowing nervously but nodded anyway.
“Well I uhm, it wasn’t soon after what happened at the hospital I met someone,” Diane began softly. “His name is Jack and he’s here and he’s really excited to finally meet you.”
Robert opened and closed his mouth, his mind slowly processing what his mum had said as he felt Aaron’s hand on his back, rubbing small circles into his skin. His parents did have a pretty nasty divorce many years back and he hasn’t heard from his father, but he never gave much thought to his mum meeting someone new.
“As long as he makes you happy and treats you right I’m happy,” Robert breathed out through a small grin. “Is he uhm, is he in there?” he asked pointing to the living room.
Diane nodded as she let out a relieved breath and just as she did that she saw her son bite his lip before slowly making his way into the room. She saw Aaron was about to follow after him, but before the younger lad could go anywhere she stopped him.
“Aaron can I talk to you for a second?”
“Of course,” Aaron said, offering her a soft smile before setting Holden down. “Buddy go to papa okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said, earning a nod from the toddler before he scurried over to his papa and saw him talking to some man on the couch.
He stood back up, looking back at Diane and before he could do anything else he felt her arms wrap tightly around him. Aaron couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he hugged her back, immediately feeling Diane smile against him.
“I don’t think thank you is enough, you have no idea how much this means to me,” Diane said, wiping her stinging eyes as she gently pulled away to look at Aaron. “And you, just after all these years, you’ve been so strong… Being a father and willing to even let Robert see Holden and be a part of your lives…” she trailed off, shaking her head at the thought of everything Aaron has done. “You’re an incredible man Aaron.”
Aaron felt himself still for a moment, swallowing thickly and shaky breaths escaping him as he looked at the woman in front of him. He gently wrapped his arms around Diane again, letting out a deep breath as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Thank you,” he barely whispered.
“Of course love,” Diane said, kissing his cheek and rubbing his back.
Aaron had to almost hold everything he had in him to not tear up, enough tears already shed today. So he just squeezed Diane one more time before letting her go, smiling softly at the older woman and following her into the living room.
He saw Jack and Robert talking, Diane clearly pleased that they seemed to get along, and then there was Holden in Robert’s lap, looking beyond bored but didn’t want to say anything and be rude. So he took a seat next to Robert as Diane sat with Jack on the other couch, Holden immediately climbing into his lap. The toddler didn’t even need to ask before Aaron knew he wanted his phone to play games, so he passed his phone to Holden, the 3 year old immediately taking it, leaning back against his chest and pulling up his favorite coloring app.
Aaron let out a quiet laugh as he wrapped his arms around his son, figuring this is what he’ll be doing as Robert catches up with his mum and gets to know Jack. He knew it would be a little boring for Holden but thankfully they did bring a couple of his new toys and Aaron was sure that Dusty was around here somewhere and that the toddler would love to play with him.
It wasn’t until about an hour after they got there that Holden perked up, hearing his name in the conversation.
“I actually uhm… I don’t know,” Robert said quietly, feeling his heart drop into his stomach at his mum’s question. “Aaron,” he said, getting the older lad’s attention as he had been watching Holden play his game.
Aaron hummed, picking his head up and looking to Robert with raised eyebrows, but when he saw the look on the younger lad’s face he seemed upset. “What’s wrong?”
“We were uhm, we were just talking about Holden and mum was wondering what his middle name was,” Robert said, looking down at his hands in his lap, hating that he didn’t know this, hating that this was his son and he didn’t even know his middle name.
“Oh…” Aaron, nibbling at his bottom lip. “Well it’s… It’s uhm-”
“Holden Edward Dingle!” Holden said happily through a wide smile.
Aaron froze before his eyes wandered over to Robert, the younger lad slowly picking his head up to look at him. “Uh, yeah,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I uhm… Even if you weren’t there I wanted you guys to be connected somehow. I dunno, I just-”
“Papa,” Holden groaned as he saw his father kiss his daddy, stuck in between them.
Robert couldn’t stop the growing smile that came to him as he gently pressed his lips to Aaron’s, the older lad immediately kissing him back, his own grin forming against him. It was toe curling and his stomach was doing flips even for it being such a quick and soft kiss. But maybe it wasn’t just the kiss, but the fact that Robert wanted to scream “I love you!!” at what Aaron had done for him, even after he left. He couldn’t though, way too early for anything like that and it would only make the older lad over think and sike himself out.
“Papa go,” Holden whined, pushing on his father’s chest as he kept kissing his daddy and making him laugh.
“What’s wrong?” Robert said, finally pulling away from a deep blushing Aaron and pouted at the 3 year old. “Do you want kisses too?”
Holden bit his lip, trying to hold in a giggle and forgetting what he was actually upset about. “One kiss okay.”
“Okay,” Robert said through a quiet laugh before kissing the toddler quickly and sitting back against the couch, wrapping his arm around Aaron’s waist and pulling the two into his side.
Aaron tried to hide his face, resting his forehead against Robert’s shoulder as his face was heating up at the way Diane was looking at them. And he stayed in that position as Robert and his mum kept talking, Jack of course adding in, telling them about the past couple years and what they’ve been up to. That all came to halt about an hour later though when Holden shrieked out a very Loud “kitty!!!” before lunging off the couch and running towards the cat near the stairs.
“Holden! Buddy, buddy, no!!” Robert said quickly, rushing off the couch and scooping the toddler up before he could suffocate Dusty and make the cat accidentally scratch him. “R you have to be gentle with Dusty, he’s not like Rob, okay?” he asked carefully. “He’s a bit older and he doesn’t like to be hugged like Rob does.”
Holden almost looked close to crying at hearing that he couldn’t hug the cat. “But I pet and he play?” he asked quietly.
“Of course big guy, but gently,” Robert said, giving Holden’s head a quick kiss before placing him back down and watching as he carefully walked towards the cat, leaned down towards him and ran a soft hand over his fur.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he watched his son and Robert took a seat next to him on the couch, the younger lad immediately pulling him into his side and burying his nose in the side of his hair. “You doing okay?” he asked softly.
“I’m doing great,” Robert said mumbled against his temple through a small smile. “Thank you… For everything,” he whispered so quietly he wasn’t sure the older lad heard him.
Aaron tried desperately to hold back his smile as he looked up to the younger lad, but when he saw how softly he was looking right back at him it spread across his face. “Merry Christmas,” he said through a small laugh.
Robert bit his lip, his dimples popping out as he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Aaron’s, letting out a deep breath against him. “Merry Christmas.”
*~*
Aaron kept his eyes locked on his phone as he typed out a reply to Ross, trying his hardest not to drop it on his face since he was laying down completely on the couch.
After Holden had played with Dusty for a few minutes he grew bored, the older cat not being nearly as fun as Rob is, so Jack offered to show the toddler his model trains downstairs. Aaron doesn’t even think his son was down there for a full minute before he heard him nearly yelling how excited he was at the massive set up Jack had and that the older man was letting him play with everything.
So the 3 year old was down there with Jack for hours as Robert, Aaron and Diane talked. Of course Aaron did check on him a few times, and when he went downstairs it was impossible not to smile at the sight of Holden with a conductor’s hat on, clearly too big for him and a remote that made the trains move around the massive replicated London City. It was beyond adorable and Aaron had to say he was very impressed with what Jack had set up. Not only that but the older man seemed to be having as much, if not more fun than Holden was. So with a quick kiss to his son and a grateful smile sent towards Jack he went back upstairs, Diane and Robert still talking away. And it reminded Aaron so much of years ago, when the two couldn’t stop talking for more than five minutes, and at the sight Aaron couldn’t help but feel his smile widen before tucking himself back into Robert’s side.
But now here he was hours later, Holden still playing with trains downstairs, and Robert and Diane working on Christmas dinner as Aaron caught up with Pete and Ross, wishing them both a happy holiday. And just when he pushed send he felt a body drop onto his, succesfully making his phone slip out of his hand and hit him right in the nose.
“Oops,” Robert said through a quiet laugh, taking Aaron’s phone off his face and adjusting himself on top of the older lad. “Sorry love,” he said, kissing him quickly where his phone hit his nose.
“Sure you are,” Aaron groaned dramatically, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad, squeezing gently at his waist. “Does your mum not need anymore help? Why are you bothering me during my quiet time?”
Robert rolled his eyes as he tucked his head into Aaron’s neck, feeling the older lad’s arms wrap around him just a bit tighter. “You’re fine,” he mumbled against his skin. “Mum told me to relax and I wanted to spend some time with you.”
Aaron let out a deep breath like it was a huge inconvenience, but that was just before he felt Robert’s teeth sink into his neck gently. “Rob,” he groaned through a quiet laugh. “Stop that, I was so comfortable before you came along and decided to be a menace.”
Robert picked his head up to look down at the older lad and pouted at him, only to feel Aaron’s fingers threading through his hair and massaging his scalp a second later. And he couldn’t help himself as he hummed, his eyes immediately falling shut as he laid his head on Aaron’s chest.
“Still got a few tricks up my sleeve,” Aaron said through a small chuckle.
All Robert did was hum again as he nodded to himself and melted under Aaron’s touch. “You keep this up and I’ll fall asleep right on you.”
“And then we’ll have a real problem,” Aaron groaned, his fingers still gently running through the younger lad’s curls. “You okay though? Have you had a good day?” he asked softly.
Robert picked his head up, looking at Aaron like that was the most ridicuAarons question ever. “Aaron you gave me my family back… Do you understand that?” he asked quietly. “Of course today has been good, it’s been amazing… I wish I could say how grateful I am but I know thank you isn’t enough.”
Aaron bit his lip, trying to fend off his smile as he heard how gently Robert was talking to him, how softly he was looking at him. “Thank you is just fine,” he said just as quietly, gently running his hand down the younger lad’s back. “And you’re welcome.”
Robert tried not to roll his eyes as he heard Aaron laughing. Instead he grinned back down at the older lad, and carefully hovered over him before dipping his head and connecting their lips.
Robert doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to feeling Aaron’s lips back on his, to feel the older lad actually kissing him and running his fingers through his hair or down his back. He didn’t think he’d ever get something like this again after they broke up. The feeling of warmth and comfort that spread through his entire body as their lips moved together, as Aaron’s hand traveled under his shirt and his palm pressed into heated his skin. And at the touch Robert laid completely down on the older lad, their noses bumping, breaths mixing and nails sinking into each other’s skin to stay in place.
He wished they could stay like this forever. That he could kiss Aaron until their lips were bruised and his back was covered in light scratch marks from the older lad’s fingers. But this moment of peace could only last so long before someone quite Aarondly cleared their throat.
Robert stilled where he was, Aaron freezing under him and his hand slowly coming out from under the younger lad’s shirt as they carefully looked to see who was in the room. But as soon as Robert set his eyes on his sister he quickly scrambled off of Aaron and lunged at her.
Even as Aaron watched Robert attack his sister, Vic letting out a wet laugh as she felt tears come to her eyes and immediately hugged him back, he was laying on the couch, trying to catch his breath after the younger lad had basically elbowed him when trying to get up.
“You idiot, you stupid fucking idiot,” Vic mumbled against her baby brother’s shoulder, squeezing him so tight around his neck she wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
“Missed you too Gems,” Robert said through a strained laugh, his own eyes pooling with tears. “I’m so sorry… For everything,” he barely whispered, pulling his sister impossibly closer.
“I know you are R, it’s okay,” Vic said softly, pulling away and wiping her wet eyes. “If you ever pull that shit again though I’m tracking you down and killing you in your sleep,” she said through a small laugh.
“And I’ll help,” Aaron said, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards the two.
“Holy shit Aaron!!” Vic said, getting a good look at the younger lad. “Beards, button downs, what’s going on?” she asked jokingly, rushing over to him and wrapping him in a hug.
Aaron couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he hugged her back, her sense of humor always has been a bit more forward than Robert’s. “4 years gave me some time to grow up, what can I say?”
“I know but it’s so weird,” Vic said, pulling away slightly to look over Aaron again. “I mean I remember you with dirty band tees and your hair all soft. Now you got a quiff and your face is all hairy and just… Damn, I’m not gonna lie you look good.”
“Yeah, it’s the sexy teacher look,” Robert said through a chuckle, wrapping an arm around the older lad’s waist.
Aaron bit his lip as he felt his face heating up, Vic humming her agreement. But then his eyes shifted to the guy behind her, him just watching them with a small smile.
“Oh sorry!” Vic said, remembering her boyfriend was in the room with them. “This is my boyfriend Charlie,” she said sheepishly, introducing them.
“Hey, it’s great to finally meet you,” Charlie said, shaking Robert’s hand.
“Good to meet you too, I’m Robert,” he said, offering him a small smile. “And this is my… Uhm…” Robert said, looking over to Aaron and seeing the older lad raise his eyebrows at him. “This is Aaron.”
Aaron rolled his eyes as he heard Robert before looking to Charlie. “Hey mate, nice to meet you.”
“And you,” Charlie said, grinning back at him. “Gem hasn’t shut up about you two since she found out you guys were coming for Christmas.”
“M’sure she was saying nothing but terrible things,” Aaron said, eyeing her jokingly and earning a shrug from the older woman.
“Daddy! Papa!!” Holden said, running into the living room, the conductor's hat bouncing all over the place on his head. “Grandpa say I the best at trains!!”
Robert smiled down at Holden, scooping him up as he ran towards him. He looked beyond adorable in the huge hat and he was happy that him and Jack were getting close. But when he turned to introduce Vic to the toddler she was already looking right back at him wide eyed.
“You… You have a son?” she barely whispered.
Robert furrowed his eyebrows, thinking that their mum would’ve at least mentioned that Aaron had Holden, and then he would tell them the toddler was his too. “Uhm, yeah,” he said quietly, looking down at the 3 year old, Holden looking at the woman in front of him shyly. “Gem this is Holden, he’s mine and Aaron’s son.”
Holden bit his lip as he waved at her and rested his head on his papa’s shoulder, not knowing who this was, but if she knew his papa then she must be nice.
“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m Robert’s sister Vic,” she said softly, offering the toddler a small smile. “R can I talk to you?”
Robert nodded slowly, his sister almost looking mad as he passed Holden to Aaron and the older lad and Charlie headed towards the couch. He followed after Vic, past their mum in the kitchen and to the foyer before his sister abruptly turned to him.
“Did you know about him when you left?” Vic asked, trying her hardest not to scream. “Tell me you didn’t just leave Aaron with a baby and knew about him for years but didn’t-”
“No! No, no, Gem I swear!” Robert rushed out. “Please, believe me, I just found out about Holden a couple months ago.”
Vic let out a deep breath as she nodded to herself, more than relieved to hear that. “We definitely have a lot to catch up on.”
“And I’ll explain everything, or at least try to explain, it’s a bit complicated,” Robert said as he scratched the back of his neck and bit his lip.
“Well I can’t wait to hear everything you’ve been up to, you superstar,” Vic teased slightly. “Charlie was fangirling the entire way here, don’t tell him I told you but he probably loves you more than me.”
Robert let out a quiet laugh as he shifted his weight on his feet. “Well my time as a star hasn’t been all that interesting…” he said quietly, not really wanting to reminisce on all the drinking he got up to over the years. “But I’ll happily tell you about Aaron and Holden and everything we’ve done the past couple months. And I’d love to hear all about Charlie and where you’re living, your job, just everything.”
“Of course R,” Vic said through a soft smile. “But first I want to get my hands on that little boy, he’s so cute!!” she nearly squealed, already making her way back towards the living room.
“Takes after Aaron,” Robert said through a small laugh as he followed after her.
“Yeah, but he has those famous green eyes,” Vic said, sending a wink to her baby brother over her shoulder.
Robert shrugged sheepishly as they got the living room, Charlie and Aaron chatting on the couch as Jack was talking to Holden excitedly about some new train Diane got him for Christmas, the toddler listening intently and smiling widely to himself as he looked at the new toy.
“Maybe we should’ve gotten him a train set,” Robert said, a soft smile coming over him as he walked towards the couch and kissed Aaron’s cheek gently before taking a seat and wrapping an arm around him.
“He’s already asked me three times,” Aaron said through a quiet laugh, tucking himself into the younger lad’s side.
Robert rolled his eyes fondly as he watched the two on the floor, but then of course Vic just had to join them, wanting to talk to Holden and get to know him. The toddler was still a bit more interested in what Jack was saying than talking to her though. But once the older man passed him the train to see Holden was quick to show Vic and tell her everything he’s learned. He may have said half the things wrong and confused himself more than once, but the look on Vic’s face was priceless with the way she was grinning at him and nodding at everything he said as if it made sense.
And Aaron couldn’t help the fond smile that spread across his face as he saw Holden. He always wanted a real family for his son, for him to be surrounded by people who support and love him. They always had Pete and Ross, but that was it. Now Holden had an actual family, one he knows for a fact that would be there for him and love him no matter what.
They stayed in the living room talking, Diane joining them once everything for dinner was cooking. And at the sight of her full living room with both her kids, it almost made tears come to her eyes. But instead of breaking into tears she took a seat on the couch and joined in on whatever it was they were all talking about. It was Loud and fun, laughter filling the room, and it was something that Diane hasn’t heard in years.
Holden easily stole everyone’s hearts, his little comments on everything and the way he would climb from person to person, telling them all about his daddy’s birthday, Rob, his Spiderman room at his papa’s house and anything else he could think of. The toddler wasn’t shy whether he was with Diane, Vic or even Charlie, but his clear favorite was Jack because of all of his trains he got to play with.
And to say Aaron was proud as he watched his son would be a huge understatement. He knew Holden could be a little shy and quiet at first but as soon as you talk to him it’s nearly impossible to get the toddler to shut up. But it’s not like everyone wasn’t hanging on to every word he had to say
By the time dinner came around both Robert and Aaron were shocked Holden didn’t tire himself out from talking so much and from running all over the house to find Dusty.
While he was trying to find the cat Vic and Charlie took it upon themselves to start a game of hide and seek, and every time Aaron heard Holden’s squeals, followed by the little patter of feet and then more often than not Charlie nearly stomping after him as he tried to catch the 3 year old, it was impossible to hide his smile. And every time Robert heard it too he could feel the younger lad smiling against his temple just before Holden and Charlie or Vic came barreling into the living room to get the toddler.
But now they were sitting down for dinner, Holden nearly chugging his milk and breathing heavily to himself, trying to relax after running around. Aaron was almost nervous as Diane was telling a story about Robert when he was younger that the milk would shoot out Holden’s nose from how much he was laughing at how silly his papa was when he was little.
Of course Robert was hiding his face in embarrassment, but even he was laughing as he listened to his mum. He would never admit it, but he did miss the stories his mum used to tell, even if they were beyond humiliating. He missed this, these simple things. Sitting down at dinner and talking and laughing with his family. But now he could share it with Aaron and Holden, and Robert didn’t think it could get any better than this.
“Aaron do you have a favorite memory of Holden?” Diane asked through a small smile, glancing over at the toddler.
Aaron looked up from his half full plate before swallowing his food and grinning down at Holden next to him. “Uhm yeah actually,” he said as laughed quietly to himself, just thinking about it. “When he was about 18 months old my mate Pete and I took him to the park, and at the time he was still a bit wobbly on his feet, had a pacifier and everything, cutest little thing, I swear,” Aaron said, almost finding it hard to believe that Holden was once so little. “But we were outside for a while and for some reason I don’t know he looked to the ground, saw his shadow, tried to run away from it and just started bawling because it was following him,” he said through a chuckle. “Pete and I thought something was wrong so we both started freaking out and all R did was point to his shadow, scream, try to run away from it and cry some more but of course as he tried to run he fell and let out a deafening cry because he thought his shadow fell on top of him and was attacking him or something.”
He could hear some laughter around the room and Holden’s cheeks were tinted pink but even he was giggling to himself.
“But the uhm, the reason it’s my favorite is cause it reminds me of Robert,” Aaron said quietly, smiling softly at the younger lad on his other side before he felt Robert’s hand squeeze his thigh. “The first show he ever did in a stadium he was so nervous and nearly shaking, and when we were back stage he turned around, saw his shadow and jumped because he was so tense,” he said through a small laugh. “I dunno, when I think about it now it’s cute to notice all the little similarities and things like that before they even met,” he said sheepishly.
Aaron couldn’t say anything more as he saw everyone at the table smiling at him, and just as he felt his face really begin to heat up Robert kissed his cheek.
“C’mere,” Robert mumbled against him through a small smile before pressing soft kisses onto Aaron’s cheek until the older lad let out an embarrassed laugh and turned his head, finally letting him connect their lips.
“Stop,” Holden groaned as he rolled his eyes, making the table laugh.
“C’mon Holden, you and I can leave the lovebirds and go back downstairs and play,” Jack said happily, already standing up from his seat to get the toddler.
If possible Aaron felt his cheeks heat up even more as he heard the older man and felt Robert hiking his hand up his thigh.
“Hang on sweetheart, you two stay up here,” Diane said, stopping Jack. “We’re going to clear off the table and then presents.”
“Grandpa we stay for presents!” Holden said, jumping in the older man’s arms.
“Mum you didn’t have to get us anything,” Robert said, already helping her clear off the table.
Diane raised her eyebrows at that before shaking her head. “Don’t even start with me Robert, you’ll know what I’ll say.”
Robert let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway, knowing his mum would just say that he’s missed the past four Christmases, so yes, presents were in order.
Aaron also felt a bit bad though. He didn’t necessarily get them anything besides gift cards, and just for Vic and Diane, he didn’t know about Charlie and Jack. And even the amount on those gifts cards weren’t all that much because he wasn’t necessarily rolling in money. He knew that the two of them would be more than grateful, but maybe while he and Robert were in New York they could pick up something a bit nicer for all of them.
After trying to help clear off the table both Robert and Diane shooed him away, as well as Charlie to the living room where Holden and Jack already were. The toddler mumbling to himself as he pushed a toy train all over the carpet, Dusty following after him curiously and Jack watching him with a fond smile from the couch.
“Hey Jack, can I talk to you for a second?” Aaron asked, taking a seat next to the older lad.
“Of course,” Jack said happily, turning his attention to Aaron.
“So I just wanted to say how grateful I am for you spending so much time with R and everything today,” Aaron said through a small smile. “And I also wanted to ask and make sure that you’re okay with the whole grandpa thing,” he said, biting his lip. “I know it came out of nowhere and it just kinda got sprung on you but-”
“Aaron, Aaron relax,” Jack said as he laughed to himself. “Of course I don’t mind. I don’t have my own kids, but now it’s like I have Gem, Charlie, you and Robert and then a grandkid. I hit the jackpot today.”
Aaron couldn’t stop the small laugh that came out of him, more or less relieved that Jack didn’t have a problem with being called grandpa. And then of course he had to ask Charlie the same thing, if Holden calling him uncle Charlie was okay. But if anything the older lad if possible was more excited than Jack was about the new name.
“Papa!” Holden shrieked, feeling his father’s arms wrap around him, making him jump. “Papa lay down, you mountain,” he said, pulling him down and waiting until his papa was laying on the floor before making train noises and running it over Robert’s chest.
Aaron rolled his eyes fondly as he watched the two on the floor, Holden climbing on top of Robert just to sit on him and run his train over him. But of course Robert didn’t complain, instead just smiled at the toddler and entertained him by making his own train noises.
Even as they did presents Holden stayed on Robert in the middle of the living room, Diane sending the two of them a fond smile the entire time.
Aaron had given Vic and Diane the gift cards he had gotten them and in return from the two of them he got a new sweater and a pair of suspenders. He hasn’t worn suspenders since he and Robert were dating all those years ago, but at the sight of the new ones in his hands he was itching a bit to put them on. They would go good with his button downs after all.
Of course he thanked them profusely for his and Holden’s gifts, telling them a million times they didn’t have to get them anything. All he got in return though was an eye roll from everyone in the room.
After presents were done though Holden finally got off of Robert as Vic tried to pick out a Christmas movie to watch. But that was just before the toddler remembered something very important.
“Papa you need give present to daddy!!” he said, quickly tapping his father’s shoulder.
“You know what, I was just thinking that buddy,” Robert said, smiling at the 3 year old. “Want to get it from my coat pocket?”
Holden nodded and ran out of the room as Aaron shifted his gaze to Robert and furrowed his eyebrows at him. He had almost completely forgotten that the younger lad had another gift for him, but sure enough the toddler ran back into the room with a nicely wrapped, small rectangular box.
Robert kissed Holden’s head quickly and said a quiet thank you to him before getting up and walking over to Aaron, getting down on one knee in front of him and offering him a soft smile. “Hi love.”
“Uhm, hi,” Aaron said confused, his cheeks immediately heating up and his heart racing at the position Robert was in. He knew he wasn’t going to propose, obviously, but this was still more than nerve wracking.
“M’not so sure if this is a gift, but open it and after you do that I have to ask you something,” Robert said with a touch of nervousness in his voice as he passed the older lad the small box.
Aaron looked around the room, every single pair of eyes on them and looking just as lost as he did as he took the small box from Robert.
He looked at the wrapped gift in his hands for a moment, trying to figure out what it was, but the longer he looked at it the more confused he got. So Aaron slowly took the wrappings off, only to see a white box underneath it all.
His eyes flickered up to Robert’s, the younger lad offering him a soft smile as he nodded at him and placed a gentle hand on his thigh. So Aaron very carefully opened the box, his heart beating faster and faster until his eyes fell upon what was in the box… A pen.
“A pen?” Vic said through a snort, a Loud laugh escaping her.
Robert glared over at his sister, gritting out a quiet “shut up” before turning back to Aaron who was looking at him like he was a second away from crying. And just at that a sheepish smile came to him, the older lad knowing, him remembering that day all those years ago.
“A pen,” Robert breathed out through a nervous chuckle. “I met you over a pen... That’s where it all started… And now here we are years later and I want to start again,” he said softly, seeing Aaron bite his lip, trying to hold back tears at the memory. “Aaron WilPete Dingle, will you go on a date with me?” Robert asked through a hopeful grin.
Aaron ducked his head as he sniffled to himself before wiping a stray tear away and leaning towards the younger lad. “Robert Sugden are you asking me out?” he whispered in his ear teasingly, Robert doing the same thing to him all those years ago.
Robert rolled his eyes playfully as Aaron pulled away from him and he cupped the older lad’s cheek, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb. “Yes, I’m asking you out. Now is it a yes or a yes to answer my question?” he asked through a quiet laugh.
“Yes you idiot, of course yes,” Aaron said as he laughed to himself and wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck.
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Text
Before
Aaron is bored.
Terminally, entirely, wholly bored.
His mum has kept him stern under lock and key since he (shamelessly) helped Lottie sneak out to meet her charming alpha boyfriend – but, see, he’s a firm believer in love knowing no boundaries. Those boundaries including their pointlessly stern nine o’clock sharp curfew. Plus, he likes to consider himself a trustworthy enough big brother for his sisters to be able to run to when they need help. So, really, he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. Even if his mum thinks it was reckless and ‘could have ended badly’. But it didn’t.
So.
He’s spent the last week holed up in his bedroom, only really emerging at meal times with the hope that if he doesn’t annoy his parents any further that he’ll be let off of house arrest sooner rather than later. In the off times when he would normally be out on the town with his friends, he’s stuck in his room. He’s resorted to throwing a ball up and down while laid out on his bed and – it’s really tragic. Aaron has never been the type of person to enjoy being inside for too long.
If sweetening his parents up doesn’t work soon, he’s quite sure he might actually lose his mind.
It doesn’t seem like it’s going to work, not yet at least, but he’s happy to try. If the suspicious looks his mum keeps shooting at him when she catches him doing the laundry or emptying the rubbish bins without being told are any hint that he’s about to get his freedom back, he can continue to sacrifice his dignity for a while longer.
The only thing is that his parents are entirely mysterious and unwavering in their ways of being secretive about when his punishments are going to end. Perhaps it’s something they’ve learned over the nineteen years he’s lived with them (maybe because a few times they’d told him two weeks and he’d only been good for those two weeks) – but it really isn’t his fault he has a mischievous heart.
That’s what he keeps telling himself, that is.
“Lottie!” He calls out from his bed, tossing the ball particularly hard and watching as it hits the ceiling before crashing back down to the foot of his bed. He sighs softly and tosses an arm over his eyes. It’s dark in his room other than the glow from his bedside lamp and briefly the hallway light as Lottie walks in, and then dark again when she closes the door behind her.
They’re supposed to be separated, in case Aaron attempts to help her conspire. But whatever. He can talk to his sister all he wants. “You look like shit.” Lottie says and Aaron rolls his eyes.
“Mum would have a cow if she heard you talking like that.”
“Mum’s already had like, six cows this week because of stuff I’ve done. What’s one more?” She grinned and Aaron laughed, patting the bed beside him and scooting over for her to lay with him.
“I’m so tired of being stuck in the house. I think this is the first time in my life I’ve ever missed school.”
“It’ll end eventually. I think mum and dad are a little happier now, since they met Austin. But I’m not sure. They seemed to like him enough.”
“Mum actually liked an alpha?” His eyebrows shot up. Their parents had managed to earn a slight track record with not liking any of their alpha significant others. Lottie was a beta, so they weren’t as terrible with her, even if their mum still tossed a fit each time, but when alphas came anywhere near Aaron, well. They weren’t ever really happy about it.
“Right? He’s really traditional, though, Aaron. I like him so much.”
“You’re still young, Lots. No need to rush into anything, yeah?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m not like – gonna bond him or anything.”
“I’d sure hope not!” He says, that big-brother part of him taking over. Even if he was an omega, he was happy enough to know that Lottie still came to him for advice. “When can I meet him?”
“Probably when you’re free from mum’s wrath.”
“oi, I might be gray.”
“You’re getting there already, Aaron. Not much longer now.” Aaron smacked her softly and she laughed. “Is it okay if I sleep in here tonight, though? I wanted to come ask but I thought you were sleeping.”
“Course, Lots.” She got up and grabbed her usual sleeping-in-Aaron’-bed-blanket and crawled back in bed with it wrapped around her. “Did you have another dark dream?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s all good.” She said, and Aaron knew she was trying to pretend like it didn’t bother her, but he knew better than anyone else about how much it really did bother her. She’d been having these terrible nightmares ever since they were kids, but Aaron didn’t judge her like others seemed to. He knew they were still just ask scary even if it was years later.
It wasn’t as late as Aaron would normally fall asleep, just barely half ten, but when he listened to Lottie’s breathing even out beside him, he decided to flick the light off, too.
If he saw their mum walk in a while later and pretended to be asleep, no one had to know. “Those kids are attached at the hip, I swear.” She whispered, a soft sigh. “Night, loves.” And Aaron smiled as she closed the door and he heard the familiar squeak of her bedroom door closing too.
Five more days pass and Aaron has actually started to find enjoyment in doing the laundry, so it’s obvious he’s started to lose his mind. He was folding up the t-shirts, enjoying the warmth from the dryer when his father came up behind him.
“Hey dad, what’s up?” He asked, turning to face him and abandoning his laundry.
“Your mother and I want to talk to you about getting you off grounding when you’re finished. Just hang all of the shirts up and put everything in it’s place and meet us in the kitchen.” Aaron grinned and nodded.
“Alright. Will do.” He knew if he slacked on his folding and didn’t do as well as he had been doing, he’d just have to do it again later, so he kept taking his time, even if he was vibrating beneath his skin. He heard his father’s footsteps going back up the stairs and he finally did a little dance, happy to even have a chance to be able to leave the house. There was so much he hadn’t realized he’d miss about being able to go outside until it had been taken away.
Well, maybe he was just being overdramatic. But that was one of his fortes.
So when he finished folding up the shirts, he went to each of the bedrooms that the clothes needed to be put in and put them in their places. Finally, about twenty minutes after his father had talked to him, he was walking into the kitchen.
His phone was sat on the table in front of his mother, and the two of them were chatting away before they noticed he walked in.
“Alright, Aaron, we’ve decided you’ve been grounded long enough.” His mum said and he was smiling again. “But, there’s one condition if we are to let you free.”
“Do tell.” He said, moving to sit in one of the empty chairs at the dining table.
“You’re going to get a job. Specifically, a job your father has lined up for you.” His eyebrows shot up. It wasn’t really – impossible for omegas to get jobs – but it wasn’t really common. Plenty of places hired omegas. Well, every place hired omegas, technically, since there were laws in place that said there couldn’t be gender discrimination, but not many paid well.
“What is it?”
“You’re going to be an assistant for a friend of mine. Finn Barton. He’s a pack relations representative, you know, keeping the packs from fighting and such, and he’s offered you a full-time spot with him in his office. I said you’d take it.” Aaron blinked. It didn’t sound like it would be too terrible. If he was just an assistant, that is. Assistants only fetched coffee and lunch, right? If this was an alpha that his parents were going to trust him enough to be around full-time, well, he wasn’t going to deny his freedom just because he was slightly unsettled by not knowing what the job would entail.
“Alright. When do I start?”
Besides, their pack was almost entirely calm and friendly with the surrounding packs. Their pack alpha, Yaser Barton, usually kept everything peaceful. His dad had told him once that there wasn’t a single issue with their pack and another since his grandfather was a teenager. So. What could possibly go wrong?
“Tomorrow. Monday morning, bright and early at eight a.m.” He sighed softly but smiled none the less. It was better than being grounded. At least this way he could leave the house.
“Does this mean I get my phone back?”
“For now, yes.” His mother said.
“But the second I hear you’re late or get written up or make any kind of mistake with Mr.Barton, I’ll toss it out the window.” He frowned. When he was seventeen, he’d challenged that his father would actually do something so life-shattering. So, to prove a point, he’d done it. Tossed it right out his bedroom window and made him clean up the broken glass and shattered metal with a broom and dustpan. So, he firmly believed his father wouldn’t hesitate to do it all over again.
“All right. I won’t mess up, then.”
“That’s a boy.” Then his phone was back in his hand and he smiled.
“Thanks, dad.”
“Dinner will be ready in about an hour.” His mother said and he knew a dismissal as well as anyone, so he nodded before he was up the stairs and back in his room.
He unlocked his phone to find – no missed calls. There was one text from Pete, but all it said was, “u left ur jaket here lol” and there was nothing else. Of course he’d be one to miss his friends terribly but none of them would even send a text when he went MIA for two and a half weeks.
Whatever.
He spent most of that night googling Finn Barton. Apparently he lived with the Bartons in the pack house, since he’d bonded with the omega son Ross. It wasn’t all that interesting – besides the fact that it was slightly relieving to know the alpha he’d be working for was bonded – but he still hadn’t found anything about what his job would have entailed.
It did nothing to settle his nerves, but it also didn’t make him feel worse so to say, so he thought that he could consider it progress if he really wanted to. There was nothing wrong with being a little nervous right before a job was supposed to start. Right?
“You’re gonna do great, love.” His mum says and wraps him in a tight hug. She’s an omega, too, so he assumes she can sense how nervous he is. Or if she can’t, then she can probably assume. Even if she doesn’t have to work now – he knows she did when she was younger, before she was mated and before she had a family. “It won’t be too bad, yeah?” He nods and returns the hug, sighing softly.
“See you tonight, then.”
“See you tonight, love.” He’s out the door by the time she finishes speaking. He’s happy to be outside again, and with every intention of enjoying being out of the house, he decided to walk to work.
His pack certainly isn’t small, but it isn’t really that large, either. There are about five thousand of them here – enough to have a pretty large standing amongst other packs and enough to be able to have a fairly isolated little life, but he’s not ignorant to the fact that they still have to have good relationships between the other packs.
That’s where Finn Barton comes in to the game. He has to help keep the pack’s image pristine. Ross’s father, their pack alpha, does a good job of keeping them all together and well handled, and he can imagine that this job shouldn’t be that hard.
His mouth still gets dry when he walks to the town square and the address he’s been given is to the biggest building in the square. Three stories high and intimidating.
Aaron walks into the building and adjusts his tie. His mouth is dry – and he’s just noticed for the second time, but it’s too late to go back and do anything about it now. Maybe he’ll find some water later – or something – but he’s just nervous. His entire body has a tendency to react when he gets too nervous.
“Hi, um. Aaron Dingle, I’m here for Mr.Barton –“ He says to the secretary at the front desk. She’s pretty and smells like a beta, but she quirks an eyebrow at him. He imagines she can sense his nerves, because he can tell he smells like a nervous puppy, but he doesn’t want to look that way. So he tries to seem confident, holds himself high enough that it feels unnatural and doesn’t even let himself look at the ground once.
“He’s on the third floor.” She points to the set of lifts down the hallway and he gives a nod in thanks before scurrying over to get on a lift and make his way to meet with Mr.Barton. Theres something nerve wracking about meeting an alpha that’s so close knit with the pack leader, but he can just hope that he’s not smug about it.
The lift smells slightly of strong coffee, and he leans back against the railing to take a few deep breaths. It’s not that he’s really terrified, but, he’s not exactly comfortable either. He’s out of his realm. His parents had always kept him fairly sheltered, always away from unfamiliar alphas and unfamiliar people in general.
Now it feels like he’s being thrown to the wolves, quite literally.
The lift dings open and he still feels a bit unsettled but he walks out and makes sure he doesn’t look it. “Mr.Dingle!” A loud, obviously alpha voice says from a bit of a ways outside the lift.
“Uh –“ He stutters and looks to the man, taller, well-built and so obviously alpha that it makes him feel unwell. He’s suddenly much happier that this man is mated because he matches the stereotypical alpha that Aaron day-dreams of quite frequently. “Mr.Barton?”
“Yep, that’s me. I’m glad you’re a bit early, I’ll show you around a bit.” He nods, a weak gesture of his understanding before he’s following the alpha about. “Alright, so this is my office. The door’s almost always open, but if it ever isn’t just knock and wait until I say you can come in to enter, please. This will be your desk, mostly all I’ll have you do is take my calls I forward to you and write down any messages. Right over here is the meeting room, where I’ll have you directing any clients who come into the office for any meetings. That’s a pretty rare occurrence, since I usually go out and meet with them, but it may happen.”
“Alright. Anything else?”
“Not that I can really think of. Friday is the only day that we don’t all dress formal, you can wear jeans or whatever makes you comfortable unless a client is coming in.” Aaron nodded.
“That’s cool, yeah. Sounds good. Thanks for showing me around.” He smiled softly and Finn gave him a bright smile in return.
“My door to my office is just about always open, so as long as it is, feel free to come in if you have any questions or anything. If it’s closed, though, I do ask you let me have my privacy until it’s open again.
“Yes, sir. Of course.”
“If you’d be so kind, though, would you bring me some tea?”
“Sure. How do you take it?”
“Just milk for me.” If Aaron respected him a little more for that, well, he wasn’t going to say that. So he just went off to the employee lounge (after he had to ask three – yes three) people where it was, and made up both Finn and himself a cuppa, delivering Finn’s to his desk and sitting at his own.
He wasn’t entirely sure what he was expected to do, as an assistant, since he hadn’t been told to like assist anything – so he just sat there for a while. He checked his emails and nothing was really new, mostly just spam, so he was bored almost all day.
There wasn’t a single phone call to his desk, so after a while he wound up just playing mines on his computer until he lost about a dozen times.
“Can I do anything for you, Mr.Barton?” He asked from the doorway of his office around eleven – hoping that after three hours of doing nothing Finn would have something for him.
“Not right now. I’ll have something for you when you get back from lunch, though. So feel free to take that now, and I’ll see you around noon.”
“All right.” He said with a smile and grabbed his bag from beneath his desk.
He ran into the receptionist from earlier again and she was smiling, now, instead of looking skeptical. “Hi!” She said softly. “You on lunch?”
“Yeah, you?”
“Yeah. You want to come down to the place down the road with me and a couple others?”
“Sure! Sounds better than just spending an hour by myself.” So they went out and spent their lunch hour laughing and talking and getting to know each other. Aaron hoped he could be friends with these people eventually. If this job was going to be as boring as it already felt like it was going to be, then he needed something to keep himself entertained. It was kind of a shame that he was already dreading going to work the next day when his first day wasn’t even done yet.
But.
Work isn’t really meant to be enjoyable, he assumes. At least not in his case. He had a place at university in London, where he was hoping he was going to study drama, but he really didn’t want to leave his pack. So. That was another reason he assumed work wasn’t meant to be fun. He wasn’t doing something he particularly cared about or was even really interested in, so that would probably keep it from ever being really fun.
When he returned from lunch, Finn let him address 112 letters. His hand was cramped up by the time it was done, but after that he was free and allowed to go home. So. That made it a little better.
Aaron waved to him on his way out and Ed – the budget guy and one of the people he’d had lunch with – did, too. So maybe he had successfully managed to do something at work that day. Even if it wasn’t particularly productive to work itself.
“It’s boring.” Aaron said, groaning. He’d missed Pete – missed their times when they could just sit in his basement and light up a blunt and complain and whine and moan and play video games. Pete was an omega, too, but his parents weren’t forcing him to work. It wasn’t abnormal in their pack for Omegas to stay unemployed, but it also wasn’t abnormal for them to work, either. He’d done some statistics of it in one of his year twelve maths classes and it was about a 50/50 split between the omega lifeSugden in their pack.
There was nothing wrong with it, Aaron thought. He kind of liked the idea that he might get to have that decision one day, when he gets mated. If he were to go off with an alpha that had a little bit of money and a nice job, he could stay at home and just take care of his one-day pups. But if he fell in love with someone who didn’t have all of that, well, he wouldn’t really mind working either. The omega rights here were great, so he wouldn’t ever really be miserable.
Plus, he would get three days off every month no matter what, so. He didn’t really have much to complain about.
Pete took a long hit and passed the splif back over to Aaron. “I’m sure it is, man. You’re like. A glorified tea maker. I can’t imagine that being fun. But aren’t you making like, eighteen quid an hour?”
“Yeah. But – “
“There are no buts, there, mate. You’re buying the next round, too, bastard.”
“Yeah, yeah. Love you too, Ni.” So they smoked the rest of the night and played a bit of FIFA. Aaron won almost every game, but there was nothing wrong with that and Pete didn’t even bother to complain anymore. It was just how they were. How they operated. How they managed to make their friendship work. With shitty weed and even shittier conversation. But Pete seemed to understand him in a way only omegas ever really seemed to be able to understand each other. So he let himself appreciate that little fact and always relied on Pete somewhat like a brother.
Finn actually let him sit in on a few meetings which, wow. It made him feel important and needed and informed when he was able to learn about the things that were going on between the packs and how they negotiated trade and lifestyle and treaties and people and everything. His job was always just to take notes for Finn to look back on later and probably show Yaser, but it still made him feel beyond important when he was able to listen in.
After he’d gone to about a dozen of those meetings, he’d been working for Finn for almost five months. Finn had even started asking his input on certain topics and actually seemed to care about what he thought and Aaron was finally starting to feel like something more than a glorified tea maker.
“What do you think, Aaron?” Finn asked – in the middle of a meeting! He’d never asked him his opinion in the middle of a meeting before. He’d only ever done it afterwards, when it didn’t matter as much. “I like to have an omega’s perspective on many of my issues at hand, since we perceive things that happen within the pack differently.” Finn said to the alpha sat across from him, who had her eyebrows furrowed now.
They were talking about accommodations for families and if their pack would be willing to give them money to help better suit them. The woman – Mrs.Swift – was the alpha for her pack. They were a small pack – only 1,900 members – so they had to go to some of the slightly larger packs and ask for money for certain things. But going to the very large packs would likely only make them look weak, that was one thing Aaron had learned.
“I think it’s important to have proper accommodation for both families and individuals alike.” He said, trying not to let his voice waver. It didn’t. “Families have a tendency to be more – open, so perhaps a kind of… community, built within the pack for families specifically could accommodate both having children have access to proper schooling without too much travel and the ability to be with each other. But individuals, with the presence of heat and rut for alphas and omegas, should be able to consider themselves safe for when those things come.” Mrs. Swift actually gave a small smile.
“Thank you, Aaron. That’s actually very wise.” He smiled. Finn took over from there, expanding on his ideas.
He preened.
The meetings actually continued like that. Aaron was asked for his input regularly. “You know, you’re worth a lot more than an assistant to me, Aaron.” Finn said to him with a hand on his shoulder before he left Friday night.
“Thank you, Mr.Barton.” He said with a smile.
“I think you’d do well in this field if you perused it. So, if you’re ever interested, feel free to ask me any questions you have, alright?”
Well Aaron wasn’t going to turn an oprotunity like that down. It was one of the best paying jobs in the pack, to be an advisor. He knew some alphas would get irritated by the fact that he could be earning more money than them, but he wasn’t going to let that bother him. If he didn’t have to leave the pack to become something successful, then he was going to take every chance he could get.
“I will, Mr.Barton. Thank you.”
He spent the weekend watching his younger siblings. His house was almost always bustling with life – because with seven kids filling a five bedroom house, well, it could get rather obnoxious at times. But Aaron had never minded that. He loved kids, loved the life that came out of having kids around. He couldn’t wait to have kids of his own one day.
Saturday passes, then Sunday, and before he really had a chance to do anything other than sit at home and eat an entire package of crisps, he’s waking up to his alarm clock on Monday morning. He groans softly and silences it – rolls over in bed and waits for the noise to startle him awake again five minutes later.
But then another noise comes from his phone that isn’t his alarm tone and he grabs it with a sigh. It’s Finn. He groans and clears his throat, hoping to sound a bit more awake.
“Hello?” He asks when he hits accept call.
“Aaron – “ Finn sounds frantic, like he’s running around. He can hear papers shuffling and commotion in the background. He’s suddenly much more awake. “Hi, goodmorning. I’m sorry for calling you so early.”
“It’s alright, sir. Do you… is everything okay?” He isn’t sure if that’s crossing a professional boundary, to ask how Finn is doing in his personal life. But Finn, honestly, sounds like he’s about to melt down. So. Aaron doesn’t really care. He’s grown quite fond of his boss over the last five and a half months and he isn’t entirely willing to watch him break down.
“Okay well – Okay. So. I have a bit of a problem. You know that – really important client I’ve been telling you about for like, three months?”
“The Sugden Alpha?”
“Yeah, him. Well. He’s coming today. Well, I’m supposed to go to him. But.” Finn pauses. “Look, this is. Christ this is awkward. Ross’s gone into heat. It’s like – it was not supposed to come for at least three more weeks and I plSarahd around that but I can’t – leave him.”
“That’s – of course. I understand. Would you… do you need me to call Alpha Sugden and ask if we can reschedule his meeting time?”
“No! No, we can’t. Okay. The thing is, he’s already here. Arrived last night and is staying at the inn. It’s – we obviously can’t reschedule at this point.” Aaron ignores the pained shout of Finn’s name in the background when Finn’s voice goes silent. He feels bad for Ross.
“Okay…. So… I’m sorry, I don’t really understand what you’re asking here, sir.”
“Aaron, I’ve seen how talented you are with negotiating deals and compromises with other packs. So. I need you to take my place.” Aaron’ eyes widen, and he suddenly feels a panicky tightness in his chest. “Look – I know, this is like – crazy to ask. But I know you can do it, okay? Just tell them I’ll be back within ten days and I can email you notes and anything you might need to do the best job you can do. But I need you to do this for me, alright?”
“I’m –“ Aaron pauses and swallows, but he nods anyway. Then he remembers Finn can’t see him through the phone. “Alright, I’ll do it.” Finn lets out what he’s learned is a relieved sigh.
“I’ve got to go but – they expect you there at noon, alright? Be there!” Then the line goes dead and all Aaron feels is dread. He isn’t sure why this is so daunting, considering he’d been watching Finn do his job for the last few months, but none of it felt right. It didn’t feel right to do Finn’s job when he knows Finn would do better.
He’s going to do it, of course, even if Finn would probably do better because the alpha trusted him to do it. So. He’s stuck in an obligation. Or at least that’s what he’s going to keep telling himself until he feels better about the entire fucked up situation.
He’s expected at the inn by noon. It’s only eight, so Aaron showers and takes his best suit from the closet and irons it, steams the undershirt and even takes one of his dad’s ties. Finn had emailed him a faux dresscode, an outline of what they’d discussed on the phone, and a few other things that Aaron had read over.
He was going to do this.
Hopefully without throwing up.
Day One
Finn’s panic starts to settle on Aaron as he’s getting ready. He realizes after a long moment, that he’s actually about to meet up with the alpha of a pack and go through all of the motions of a job far beyond his qualifications without Finn there to keep him in check.
It’s daunting.
But it’s also exciting, because Finn had said that he could thrive in this field, afterall. He does enjoy it. He enjoys having that power of negotiation and loves the simple fact that people are actually willing to listen to him and hear his opinion and use them. Perhaps that the omega part of him – that constant need to feel valid and listened to – but he doesn’t like to dim it down to just that.
He likes to hype it up to the fact that he likes to feel valid. Not his omega. He, him, Aaron likes to feel like he’s being listened to and like his opinions are worth other people’s time. So. Yeah. Even if he is an omega, maybe he could do well in this field. He just hopes his heats don’t become a problem like they did for Finn – since Ross went into one unexpectedly.
But. With most of their modern medicines he’s found that unexpected heats are actually rather uncommon and only really come along with a missed dose or untimely dose of medication. So. As long as he can be a responsible person and actually take care of himself like he needs to, maybe he can be successful in a field like this.
He eats half a bagel with far too much cream cheese piled on top as he heads out the door and sticks four mints in his mouth when he’s done before he reaches the cabins.
He chose to walk, he thinks, because it’s nice out. But really, he just didn’t want to have to ask his mum for a ride because that would only spike questions and then his dad would be calling Finn and everything would just spiral. So. He keeps everything that’s happening under wraps and tries not to be too obvious about the fact that he’s stressed as he walks.
Aaron makes his way to the inn by 11:45. He’s developed a habit of being somewhat early to everything he does that’s important just so he isn’t late. He sits in the lobby and goes over Finn’s notes once again until it’s five till, and then he walks outside to the suite cabin where he knows Alpha Sugden and his representative will be staying for the next ten days or so.
“Hello.” A man at the door says when it’s opened and Aaron freezes. The man doesn’t falter, though, and stares for a moment before speaking again. “Are you the pack relations manager, then?”
“Uh –“ He needs to say no, needs to say he’s just an assistant since his boss can’t make it, but the words are out before he can even think about them. “Yes.” The man smiles, then, and steps to the side to let Aaron inside of the large cabin.
“I’m Nicholas Grimshaw, Alpha Sugden advisor.”
“Of course. I’m Aaron Dingle. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He says with a soft, professional smile. They shake hands, but it’s awkward in the way that Mr. Grimshaw clearly isn’t sure what the boundaries are when it comes to touching unmated omegas in this pack’s culture. But once their hands meet and Aaron doesn’t flinch away, he watches as that hesitation slips away and the professionalism comes back.
The cabins in the front area of their pack’s land suit visitors and are rarely used, but this is certainly the least commonly used. It’s easily larger than Aaron’ permanent home and probably twice as expensive, too. It’s decorated beautifully and he knew the Style’s pack was a wealthy pack, but he didn’t realize the extent of it. If they had the funds to throw around in such a willy-nilly way like this, he was almost afraid to start discussing other budgets with them, if the topic were to arise. He has a little trouble wrapping his head around the fact that people are staying here for business.
“Alpha Sugden is still in bed, currently, and I apologize for this. He’s yet to start taking this situation seriously… but I’m hoping you can help with that.”
“Yes, of course. That’s what I’m here for.” He gives a smile that he hopes is convincing. Finn is not going to be happy with him if he catches word of his deception, but Aaron has always been a creature of procrastination. He likes to deal with things when they’re right in his face, rather than dealing with them when it’s most appropriate.
“I do apologize if this is a rude comment, though,” Aaron doesn’t let himself flinch, “But is it typical for omegas to hold offices of power in this pack?” Oh, God. What if this pack is anti-omega rights? He hadn’t even thought of that – and his heart catches in his throat. But he can’t waver now.
“It’s not uncommon. Omegas are presented with the opportunity if we chose to take it, but if we don’t that’s not looked down upon either.”
“Interesting.” The man says, but his comment isn’t laced with a snide tone, so Aaron lets it drop. “Ah, Alpha! Lovely to see you! Good morning!” The man says, clearly exasperated and unafraid to show his frustrations. Aaron glances over to the clock to see it���s nearly half noon.
But – Aaron’ mind goes off on a tangent the second the alpha emerges from his room. He’s certain he’s never seen an alpha so beautiful, and he’s sure he’ll never get his eyes out of his head. It’s really a shame that he’s here on business. He’s wearing a button down shirt, a green one that compliments his eyes and it’s barely half-buttoned, showing off a tattoo taking up most of his chest. He buttons the shirt up two more buttons and Aaron hides his disappointment as well as he can.
“You’re the pack relations manager, then?” The alpha asks Aaron and he nods, extending his hand for Robert to shake. The alpha takes his hand and shakes it, and Aaron tries to convince himself he’s just imagining it when he feels like the alpha’s hand lingers just a moment.
“Yes, that’s me.” He says, voice soft like it gets on some occasions when he’s put in front of alphas. It’s only happened a handful of times in his life – that natural omega side of him coming out in the least desirable way, but he doesn’t miss the way the alpha’s eyebrows rise just enough to make him seem interested.
“Do you have a name?” Aaron’ cheeks felt hot.
“Aaron Dingle.”
“Robert Sugden.” The alpha seemed smug with the way he’d so obviously made Aaron react, but before long the omega had a moment to be able to recompose himself and Robert went back to seeming uninterested. It was really a shame. Robert didn’t reach out to shake his hand and – maybe that’s why Nick had been hesitant before. Maybe they had a thing about touching unbonded omegas in their pack. He’d learned a lot about other packs that had different views on omegas – and one of the most prominent behaviors was that alphas weren’t really even supposed to interact with an omega unless they were attempting to court them. Usually, that was with the parent’s permission. Touching an omega was usually a topic that many pack leaders got very… heated about. Usually it ended with Aaron having to step out because he wasn’t going to turn into a whimpering fucking mess if an alpha shook his hand.
But he let that anger subside because – that was just the kind of thing these people were raised with. He could imagine they probably felt similar about some of the things that happened in his pack.
“Right –“ Mr.Grimshaw cuts in. “Do you have any plans on how you���re going to help us, then, Mr.Dingle?”
“Of course.” Aaron says and pulls out a bundle of papers from the case he’d been carrying. His stack is neatly printed out, stapled, labeled, and color coded. He’d always done that to all of Finn’s documents for him, and he’d done the same this morning. It kept him feeling like it was the same, usual routine. And, in an odd way, it left him with a feeling of comfort, that he could do this. He’d done this before, and just because Finn wasn’t here didn’t mean he couldn’t do it again.“I have an outline of a few different things that we should probably discuss and –“
“As much as I do appreciate your intentions of helping Mr.Dingle –“ Alpha Sugden cuts in after he has his papers in hand. Aaron raises his eyebrows and looks over to the alpha with a somewhat pointed look. He can’t really contain it at that point – can’t hold back his irritation at how the alpha just dismissed him like that. He can’t help but wonder if he would have done that to Finn, too. “I don’t really think I need your help, so I’m going back to bed.” Robert returns to the room he came from just a few minutes before, then, and Aaron takes a moment to stare at the closed door.
“That actually went much better than I thought it would have.” Mr.Grimshaw says from beside him with an amused sigh. Aaron isn’t amused. “Would you like some tea while we discuss the plans, then?”
“Sure, that sounds lovely.” He sat where he was motioned to do so and when the other alpha sat opposite him, used all of Finn’s plans and a few of his own ideas to lay out a plan to make their packs form an alliance that would last.
He can handle just speaking with Nicholas. At least he seems to have a decent sense of respect for him, despite his secondary gender. So he doesn’t let himself dwell on the fact that Robert was rude to him and he certainly doesn’t let himself dwell on the memory of his barely covered chest by the half buttoned button up and he definitely doesn’t let himself think about what the alpha would look like naked.
Of course not.
“I quite like these ideas of yours, Mr.Dingle. I think they fit our pack well and would certainly strengthen our alliance.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Now, to convince Alpha Sugden.” The man said and Aaron had tried to hide the fact that he was nervous, both of failure and any mistake he could see himself making.
“It shouldn’t be that hard.” He said, feigning the confidence that he knew Finn possessed.
“I certainly hope that optimism of yours doesn’t let you down, Mr. Dingle.”
“I do, too, Mr. Grimshaw. I’ll see you at eleven again tomorrow?”
“Yes. Have a good rest of your night.”
The first thing he does when he gets back to the office is dissect his notes.
He learns pretty quickly that Robert has a slight agitation with all of the responsibilities that are being loaded on top of him. He also learns that Robert dislikes how much his mother is trying to force him to be the kind of alpha he doesn’t want to be.
Nicholas disclosed that to him with the promise that he wouldn’t repeat a word of it.
He doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t take that small fact into consideration when he starts planning out how he is going to approach the alpha the next day and try to get him to actually listen to what he’s trying to say.
So far, he has two ideas. The first being the most logical. He needs to just approach him with a businesslike approach, keep everything formal, but also not make him feel like he’s being pressured. Perhaps he’ll ask the alpha if he has any ideas first, and rather than just spreading out everything that Finn spread out for him, he’ll listen to the alpha. From there, he hopes, their ideas will align at least a little bit and he’ll have something to work off of. The second plan is somewhat devious, but he also isn’t really afraid to stoop that low and use them if he needs to. He wouldn’t exactly be shameless if he were to use instinctual courting techniques to get the alpha to pay attention to him – but he wouldn’t not do it, either. It’s a jumble in his head and he doesn’t really have a single clue about what he’s going to do as of yet, but he’s decided he’ll figure it out.
He has ten days of his life to prove himself worthy to Finn. To show that what the alpha sees in him is true and not just Finn projecting what he hopes will happen when he becomes alpha.
So, he brings work home with him.
He goes home at five as per usual, but he’s already reading up on Finn’s notes and Yaser’s demands and all of their current situation. Finn’s given him full access to his private files on his computer for the next ten days with the trust that Aaron will only use what’s necessary for this client, and Aaron has stayed faithful in that respect.
It wasn’t that their packs weren’t already in close quarters, actually, they were two of the closest allied packs in the country. But that was under Robert’s father’s rule, and since Robert was about to become pack alpha, as stated under their pack law would happen when the alphas eldest alpha son reached twenty five years old, they had to reform boundaries and ideals that matched with new leadership. Aaron was almost… amazed by the fact that there was such a young transfer of leadership in their pack, but he didn’t let himself dwell on it.
If they’d done that as tradition, it wasn’t his place to speculate on it. In their pack, it was five years after the eldest son of the pack mated. Mating age was usually around twenty-three, and Ross had respected that entirely. Finn would become the pack alpha in about two years, at the age of twenty eight. So maybe three years wasn’t that big of a difference. But. Whatever.
He read over his notes about Nicholas’ reactions to the things he’d said. Nicolas didn’t seem to have any issues with what he was saying and certainly didn’t have anything he didn’t like that was in Aaron’ plan, even the thing’s he’d made up himself, and it was all working out well.
He returned to his research after he went downstairs and ate a late dinner. He did his best to ignore his mother’s concerned face as he took his plate upstairs and gave the simple excuse of, “work” and she didn’t say anything else.
They were the largest pack in the UK as of current, totaling at over 15,000 pack members and – Aaron couldn’t even imagine. All of those people under the rule of one single alpha.
The Sugden Pack had had the same bloodline in rule for the last two hundred years without complaint from the people, though, so it must not have been anything terrible. Their rulers had always been good, and most of the time they were easy-going around the packs that surrounded them. The last uprising that the pack had had was almost three hundred years ago, and it was when the development of omega rights was at the peak. The uprising was against it.
Then he types in Sugden Pack Omegas and hit search with shaky hands. He knew he shouldn’t be bringing work home with him, shouldn’t be ignoring his family and personal life in favor of researching a client, but he really just can’t help it. He should be emailing Finn more, should be messaging the alpha and asking him what he should be doing or begging forgiveness for likely fucking it up as badly as he has already.
He closes his eyes for a moment while the search engine loads, then he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes and starts reading.
It’s obvious from the get-go that omegas in their pack are not treated badly. They aren’t given all of the rights that they are given within his pack, but they certainly are treasured. He doesn’t read much beyond that, satisfied to know that he isn’t dealing with an alpha that can’t take him seriously only because of his gender. So. That’s a little better.
Pete comes over later in the night with brownies from the bakery down the road and falls asleep in his bed after they eat together. Pete usually gets like that when he’s getting close to his heat, so Aaron doesn’t say anything. Just lets him stay and falls asleep with his body pressed against his own.
Day Two
“This is absolutely insane, Pete. You’re kidding me!” He says – screeches – to the blond who is lounging on his bed and reading an article from his phone.
“Not kidding, man. Apperantly Yaser is really, like really, sick, so he’s gonna pass the Alpha Position off to Finn within the next year.”
“Do you think…”
“Aaron – I think you’re a little um, hopeful, to be honest.” Aaron furrows his eyebrows and puts his hands on his hips as he looks over to his friend. “I really don’t mean you’re bad at your job – cause you aren’t. I’m just saying that Finn probably wouldn’t put an omega in his place. I know we’re all omega rights and what not, but think about it. He was so distressed when his mate went in to heat that he had to push off his job onto you.”
“No, he pushed off his job onto me because I’m capable of handling it.”
“Aaron, you know you’re not taking it in the way I’m putting it.”
“Oh yeah? You’re just saying I’ll never get a decent job because I turn into a sex driven bitch once a month naturally, right? That’s what you’re saying? Cause I’m picking that up just fine!” He wasn’t sure where this sudden burst of anger was coming from, but he couldn’t really contain it at that point. It was better to let it out than keep it in. At least that was what he’d learned from his Nature Of Omegas book he’d been given for his fifteenth birthday. Omegas had a tendency to take things personally and get really heated, but it would pass pretty quickly when it processed in their brains to sadness and distress rather than anger.
“Aaron, why on earth would I be saying that? I’m O, too. Asshole.” Pete said, obviously just as angry as he was. It only fueled his own anger more and he threw a shoe at Pete. It smashed into the wall behind him, which wasn’t what he’d intended, but he suddenly realized how bad he would have felt if it would have actually hit his friend. So he just crossed his arms over his chest. “Aaron, I’m just saying that you’re just an intern. No matter your secondary gender. Finn would be an asshole to promote you from intern to leader so suddenly – he’d be throwing you into a world completely different from the one you’re currently living and I don’t think that would be fair of him to do. I mean, look at how late you stayed up last night for just one client. Would you really be interested in doing that every night for the rest of your life?” Pete’s anger seemed to have disappeared at that point, but Aaron didn’t really want to see the logical side of this whole situation. He wanted to feel his emotions and be mad about the logic.
Instead, he sat on his bed and sighed softly. It wasn’t his intention to get both of them mad, so he laid his head against Pete’s shoulder and frowned. “I’m sorry for blowing up, Ni. I know what you’re saying. I guess – I’m sensitive, I guess.”
“I know, Aaron. You’ve always been sensitive, that’s why I know not to take it seriously.”
“Thanks, mate.” He smiled, finally. “I guess I should probably start getting ready, though. I have a feeling that today is going to be a rough day.”
“How come?”
“Well, yesterday, this alpha – he’s like. Fuck. He’s actually the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, Ni. But he’s such a – an asshole! Like, he came out and introduced himself then said he doesn���t want my help and left his advisor and I in a room alone. So, I have a bad feeling that the same thing is going to happen today. He’s just – uninterested, I guess. Like, maybe he just doesn’t want to be the alpha of his pack? I honestly don’t know, but it’s totally aggravating. I shouldn’t have to deal with this.” He groaned.
“Well, maybe if you don’t make it feel like a meeting he’d be more interested?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well like, I know Finn’s always all formal and likes to keep everything in an office setting, but you don’t have to. If this alpha is so intent on not wanting to discuss this because he doesn’t want to be alpha, maybe make him feel like he doesn’t have to be alpha. Talk to him about the issues but like…. Keep it casual, I guess?”
“You’re actually a genius Pete!” Aaron kisses him on the mouth and they both pull back instantly with a laugh.
“Oh, I know.” Aaron rolls his eyes after that and goes and puts on his suit that his mother had (thankfully) taken from his bedroom floor the night before and washed. He might be considered an adult, technically, but sometimes little things like that help him feel safe and taken care of in the way his nature demands but he doesn’t want to ask for.
Pete walks with him until they reach the place he works and then the other omega leaves him to do the rest of his walk by himself as he clocks in and gets ready for his own shift. Pete didn’t really plan to be a working omega when he got mated, but rather he wanted to stay at home and raise a family. His job at the library was really just a distraction and a convenience since he was surrounded by something he loved to do all day. Aaron wasn’t jealous, because he really liked his job, too, but he was jealous of the fact that Pete knew what he was doing with his life. He had an idea of what he wanted and what his aspirations were and what he wanted from life.
Really, Aaron was just winging his decisions. All he could hope for at this point was for everything to go in his favor.
Like, maybe by some miracle there would be an alpha somewhat similar to his Robert that would somehow live in his pack and be with him and help him achieve his life goals.
He decided to stop thinking about that when it came time to be at work.
Aaron returned to the same cabin. The only difference this go round was that the nervousness in his gut was absent when he knocked on the door and he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up. Alpha Sugden and his advisor were set to stay in their pack territory for about another eight days, and Aaron was very glad that they were given that long to convince the alpha of their plan. After the day before, when Robert had still refused to get out of bed even after Nicolas had attempted to persuade him, he’d ended up leaving without doing anything really productive the entirety of the meeting.
Of course, discussing with Nicholas was somewhat productive. But the alpha’s advisor couldn’t implement any of the actions he was discussing them taking so it felt kind of pointless. The only thing Aaron really got out of it was the validation that all of his ideas matched their values and ideals in the Sugden pack. So. At least he knew he wasn’t going to make Alpha Sugden terribly uncomfortable when he brought up his pack’s strict views on omega rights and how they wouldn’t even form an alliance with a pack who didn’t share at least similar views. It was always the hardest and most intense part of the meetings he’d sat in with Finn on.
Since Yaser was so fond of Ross – and he was an omega – he’d started implementing such stricter laws on omega equality. Aaron loved it and all, but the other packs often times didn’t. It was stressful, at times. But. He wasn’t going to get there yet. If everything went on track, that wasn’t something they were going to have to talk about until the fourth day. At least.
When he was allowed inside this time, the only difference was that Alpha Sugden was sitting on the couch, typing away on his phone. Nicolas gave another soft sigh, but this time it sounded a bit less amused. “Alpha Sugden, sir, Aaron is here to run through his plan with you. Are you willing to hear it today?”
“I wasn’t entirely willing to do so yesterday, so, Nicolas, enlighten me. What could have possibly changed in the last twenty four hours that would make me willing to hear it now? I don’t want to talk about plans and I certainly don’t want to talk about me becoming the Alpha. I’m going out.”
“Wait –“ Aaron interjects, making both of the men in front of him raise their eyebrows. But both of their attention is now on him and he isn’t going to waste that. “How about we go somewhere a bit less formal to discuss this? The paps can catch you around the city interacting positively so you’ll gain a positive reputation with the people of this pack and you can hear me out without this sounding as horribly stuffy and businesslike as it feels right now.” Robert’s face still reads with an unamused expression, but after a moment he shrugs.
“I suppose. Let’s go, then.” That really wasn’t what he’d had plSarahd for the day, but if Nicholas’ open mouth and confused expression are anything to go off of, he figures it’s working. So when Robert grabs a jacket and walks out the door, Aaron leaves his bag and lets himself follow. He’s pretty much memorized what he’s intended to discuss with the Alpha today, so he doesn’t really need it. It was more of a formality.
They walk in silence for a long while, until the alpha finally speaks up. “You seem a bit young to have this job.” Aaron isn’t sure why that comment surprises him. He’d assumed he’d say something about him being an omega and having this job, not being nineteen and having this job.
“I’ve got good connections.” He says, because it’s true. He technically doesn’t – he doesn’t have this job. So that’s not the truth. But he’s not going to say some false story about how he worked for it or something. Robert seems to take that well and just nods his head.
“How old are you, then?”
“Are you just going to ask me questions about myself? Do I get to ask you questions too?” Aaron puts his hands on his hips and faces Robert. The alpha seems amused, so Aaron will take that as a good sign. If getting the alpha warmed up to him is what it will take to get him to let him discuss work, well, he’ll take it.
“Are you always this cheeky?” Robert’s smiling, so Aaron can’t help but roll his eyes.
“Do you always answer questions with questions?”
“Do you always have to have the last word?” Aaron finally laughs and – Christ this alpha has dimples when he smiles. He might actually pass out.
“No, but it seems to me that you do, Alpha Sugden.”
“I’m not ashamed to admit that.” The alpha pauses. “Please call me Robert, by the way. I’m not the alpha yet. Not entirely ready to be, honestly.” Aaron isn’t sure what to do with that information, but he blinks a few times.
“Can I ask why?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.” He says softly and Aaron nods. “Unless you answer some of my questions first.” The alpha grins again and Aaron rolls his eyes.
“Alright. We’ll take turns.”
“Deal.” Robert looks around, as if considering what he wants to ask. “What’s your favorite place around here?”
“Frosty’s, probably. It’s the only place in this pack that is kind of like a bakery but kind of isn’t, I guess. It’s like a coffee shop, bakery, and a library all rolled up into one little shop.” Aaron says with a smile. “What’s your favorite time of day?”
“I like the mornings. Like, the time from right before sunrise until just after the sun’s come up and everything’s kind of just orange.” A pause. “Will you take me to this Frosty’s?”
“I suppose that’s a bit of a cheating question, then, isn’t it? Sure.”
So, no. The day does not go how Aaron expected it to by any means. They wind up at Frosty’s and Aaron laughs when Robert practically moans over a cup of his favorite triple-sweet cup of hot chocolate. Eventually, Robert opens up a little more to the idea of Aaron having to ask him questions that are at least somewhat related to work, but he slips them in in between proper, friend-like conversation so it doesn’t feel too terribly formal. Robert’s aware that he’s working, of course, and his mood seems to dampen a bit each time a question about his ideas of how their packs could come together comes up, but Aaron is quick to fix it right after.
He’s good like that.
Perhaps it’s one of his best skills, he thinks. His ability to make people love him and make them gravitate towards him. He’s always been a people pleaser, always been good with making people fall for him even when he doesn’t entirely intend for that. Here, he’s not at all intending to make Robert fall for him. That would only lead to disaster. But he isn’t guilty about using his people skills to get him in the exact mood he wants him in to both get his (slightly selfish) dose of friendly discussion in on top of the professional chatter that they’ve been going about throughout the day.
“Hey, it’s 5 o’clock.” Robert says, softly, almost as if he’s saddened by the time.
“Yeah. Everything okay?”
“Does that mean you’re off work and you’re going to leave now?” Robert almost looks sad and Aaron stomach does this little flip that he can’t – he doesn’t even want to try and describe.
“I’ll stay if you want. But you have to buy me another hot chocolate.” Robert laughs and nods, almost immediately goes up to the counter and brings them both back two cups.
“The lady said they close soon, so she gave us to-go cups.” He looked out the window and Aaron let his gaze follow. This was his favorite time of day, really. All of the businesses started closing up, lights went out and everything started to get quiet. The only things that stayed really bustling throughout the night were the overnight shops in the square. They didn’t have any pubs or bars in their pack, since alcohol wasn’t really much of a focus in their culture. So if anyone wanted to party, they had to go elsewhere. “Does everything really close this early here?”
“Yeah. Almost the entire city is silent by seven. Except around holidays, then the square will have a carnival and everything will be lit up almost the entire time for a couple weeks. But other than that, yeah. We have an eight o’clock curfew.”
“Curfew?” Robert asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah. It’s – it’s not really enforced I guess. Like if we were out walking at 8:05 no one would say anything, but people are expected to be inside by then or outside with a purpose in mind. Not just wondering.”
“That’s –“ Robert pauses as if trying to come up with a proper word. “Kind of weird.”
“Yeah. What’s your pack like, then? From a personal view, not politically.” He clarifies, keeping himself from drifting back into work. Robert’s right, he’s off. He should let himself relax and enjoy the fact that this alpha has decided to give him his attention.
“Um,” Robert says softly. “Big. It’s – massive. Something’s always happening. Celebrations, parties, galas, always. People are always out and about, shops are always open. We have a lot of street life and performers and entertainment and people are just – they always seem to be happy.” Robert seems to light up when he gets his chance to talk about his people. Aaron can already tell he’ll be a wonderful leader for them when the time comes. “If I’m being honest… that’s why I’m not so eager to talk about making any changes when leadership transfers to me. I know you said not political, but I can’t help it. I just. Things are good how they are now and I don’t particularly want to make any changes because my people all seem happy and I don’t want to ruin that.”
“I respect that.” Aaron says softly. He does. He really, really does. He can tell that Robert has so much love and adoration for his people and he really just does want the best for them when he becomes alpha. “I think it’s about time for me to call it a night, though, Robert. It was lovely seeing you and I’ll see you at eleven tomorrow morning.”
“Can I walk you home?” Aaron shakes his head.
“It’s alright. I’ll be fine.”
“All right. See you tomorrow, Aaron.”
Day Three
“You what?” He asked Robert, the shock obvious in his voice. He’d been heading towards the cabin to find the alpha for their supposed-to-be business talk and found him standing outstide, playing on his phone with a bag tossed over his back.
“Yup. And you’re coming with me.” Aaron glared. It was a playful glare, but he was still skeptical, no matter what. In place of a hello Robert had greeted him with the fact that the two of them would be driving to his pack to go to a laser tag arena. Aaron’ pack didn’t have anything within that realm, so the experience was something Aaron had never had before. He’d heard of them, just like he had of all kinds of things that their pack didn’t have but others did, and it sounded incredible.
But. He was still skeptical.
The idea of leaving his own pack for the first time with an alpha at his side who he still didn’t know very well wasn’t really inticing. Along with the fact that Finn had trusted him with this job under the intention that he would be professional in every aspect of it. But. Looking at Robert’s face and how excited he was and the thought of doing something he’d never done and likely never would have done had Robert not suggested it made him decide that it would be worth it.
“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll go. But what am I going to wear?”
“Oh, I have that covered. Here you go.” Robert handed him some seemingly brand new clothing and Aaron narrowed his eyes again. “I found your sister in one of the shoppes when I was looking at watches. She showed me some of the things you liked, so. I swear it’s not like – I’m not trying to be creepy or anything. Cause I knew you’d show up in your little pressed suit and you obviously can’t go to laser tag in that.”
“Robert, I think it’s really nice of you to have done that.” He says with a smile. It wasn’t really weird to him that Lottie had run into Robert at the main clothing shop of their pack because that’s where she spends most of her time, so he didn’t think too much of it. “I’ll change, and then I expect you to show me the time of my life.”
Aaron was astounded at this alpha. He wasn’t sure what it was – wasn’t sure what about him was drawing him in so close – but he didn’t want to let go. His scent was clinging to the clothes as he took them – and he couldn’t wait to have that scent surrounding him. It was a strange thought, especially since he’d never once felt so strongly towards an alpha. “Where can I change?”
“Oh, right, sorry. Here.” Robert walked with him inside and led him to the room Robert had been sleeping in the last few nights. “I’ll be right outside – yeah. Um. Yeah.” The alpha smiled again and left him alone in the room, closing the door behind him.
Everything in the room smelled like Robert. It was almost overwhelming – but he just took a shallow breath to get used to it and pulled off the suit that was clinging to his skin. When his suit was off, he set it down on the floor and pulled on the jeans and shirt that Robert had purchased for him, smiling once again.
The jeans were tight, but not too tight, just the way he liked and the shirt was the perfect amount of loose to show off his assets and to be comfortable. So, with a once over of himself in the mirror against the wall, he tucked his now worn suit under his arm and walked back into the main room where Robert was waiting.
“You can leave that here if you’d like. You don’t have to carry it around all day.”
“Thanks.” Aaron said with another smile and went to follow Robert again when the alpha motioned for him to do so. This was insane. It set in just then, it that moment, that he was about to take advantage of Finn in a way he’d never even dreamed of doing so before. He was taking advantage of Finn’s trust, here, by letting the alpha think he was doing business with Robert when he was really just about to go play a game with him. And he was about to get paid for taking advantage of the other alpha, so, he felt kind of bad.
But then again, he did have to gain Robert’s trust, right?
“So, how are we going to be getting to your pack? I don’t think the train runs this early and –“
“I have a car.”
“Oh, cool. Okay.” Aaron said with a smile, trying to hide his surprise. He was so… not used to the differences in lifestyle type between he and Robert. It felt – weird, in the kindest way, to hear Robert talk about owning a car so casually. But. Whatever.
Cars were fairly rare in his pack, since most everywhere was within walking distance for just about everyone. So, the highest members of the pack and people who frequently travelled outside of pack boundaries, were the only ones that had cars.
“You seem kind of shocked.”
“Just a little. I don’t know if you really noticed, but we all just kind of walk everywhere here.”
“I did notice. What about when it gets cold?”
“We all walk with big, heavy jackets.” He said with a laugh and let himself enjoy the look of Robert’s smile. It was so real, so wonderful and bright and Aaron could look at it forever. He didn’t know where this attachment was coming from, but at this point, he wasn’t sure he was entirely ready to let it go. If he finally found an alpha that he really liked being around and trusted enough to be around, what could go wrong with that?
So Robert drove them to his pack’s territory, which was just a little more than an hour and a half’s drive, and Aaron looked out the window almost the entire time. He and Robert still talked, spoke about anything and everything from the music they liked to what their parents were like when they were growing up, but Aaron was just amazed with the world around him that he’d never seen. His pack was gorgeous, of course, and he’d never complain any time for the rest of his life about having the blessing of living there, but everything else seemed just as beautiful and large and wonderful to experience.
He said the exact same thing when they entered Robert’s territory, and his mouth fell open. There were buildings at least twenty floors high and paved roads and massive houses and restaurants and – Aaron felt like one afternoon wasn’t enough to spend here. He wanted to see everything, to experience everything and one afternoon just wasn’t going to give him that chance. Or at least it didn’t feel like it.
“It’s beautiful here.” He said and looked at Robert’s smile.
“Yeah, it is. I love it all, it’s all so home-y to me.” Then there was a pause. “Would you like to see it? I could show you all of my favorite bits.” Aaron grinned and nodded.
“I’d love to.” Robert nodded once and turned down another street as Aaron continued to watch outside of his window.
“Alright, we’ll start from my house then.”
“Your pack house?” Aaron said, a slight panic rising in his voice. He didn’t like that. Omegas weren’t supposed to go anywhere near an alpha’s packhouse unless they were being courted or bonded. Aaron wouldn’t mind that – perhaps – but he would have liked to discuss it first. Robert looked over, as if sensing his panic.
“Aaron, it’s okay. I’m not – nothing here is traditional. Omegas can come and go to my house without question, as long as they have a reason and the invitation to be there.” Aaron still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it, but he nodded anyway. “We aren’t very traditional here, in those kinds of aspects. I think the only thing we’re really traditional in in this pack is our bonding ceremony.”
“Traditional bonding ceremonies are beautiful, I don’t blame your family for keeping them.” Robert smiled again and parked his car outside of what Aaron assumed was his house. He swallowed his panic down for good as he let it sink in that this didn’t mean to Robert what it meant to him – and that was okay.
“We don’t have to go inside if you don’t want to, Aaron. It’s cool.” Aaron. His heart fluttered at the nickname.
“I don’t really mind – like you said –“
“Robert!” A woman called and Aaron jumped. “Robert Sugden, what on earth are you doing home? You are expected to be on busi –“ The woman, who Aaron assumed was Robert’s mum, met his shocked gaze and calmed immediately. “oh, hello. Who’s this, Robert?”
“Mum. Please. I’m – this is Aaron. He’s the PR rep for the Barton pack.” Her gaze held the message of her shock of him being an omega well enough and the sick feeling was amplified inside of his stomach.
“Yes, ma’am. We were um – I’ve never seen your pack before. So Robert here was going to show me a bit, show me some of your customs in person so we could continue to discuss things on a level that pertains more to experience than hypothetical scenarios.” The woman’s happy expression seemed almost to fall, but then she put a smile back on her face. She pulled Robert close and whispered something in his ear and Aaron rocked on his heels.
“Well, I’m Sarah Sugden and you’re welcome to ask me or my mate any questions you might have as well while you’re in town.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” He said with a nod and watched as the woman walked back inside. Robert had a faint blush on his face and looked at Aaron with an apologetic smile.
“I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t even think about how my mum would react to – yeah.”
“To… you bringing an omega home?” Aaron said with a teasing quirk of an eyebrow.
“Oh, hush. Don’t let her hear you speaking like that! She’ll start planning a wedding!” He said with a laugh. “But, I think we might skip the whole going inside bit afterall. I’d rather not have a reapeat of that situation.” Aaron nodded and smiled.
Robert’s pack house was nice – nothing incredibly extravagant, but nothing small either. It was a bit larger than the house of his pack and he couldn’t help but wonder how many people were in Robert’s family. What was his normal routine like? What did he do every day? He wanted to know everything – wanted to get to know the alpha better and get closer with him.
It wasn’t even about the business anymore, which made him feel an awkward mixture of pride and fear.
He’d finally found someone who he thought would be worthy of his time, after practically giving up on ever being able to find a decent alpha with his fear of some of them, but Robert made everything feel wrong. He made everything he’d always thought about alphas feel wrong and like it was all just a big lie. Robert made him feel like he could be free from all of those fears one day, whether he got to do that beside the curly haired alpha or not.
“Okay, so this is the bakery I work at on the weekends.”
“You work?”
“Yeah. For fun, mostly. I love baking and since I don’t have anything else to do on the weekends, it kind of just appealed to me.”
“That’s really cool.”
“I like to think so, yeah. I’d say we could go in, but if we stop everywhere I want to show you, we won’t have enough time to finish everything. So. I’ll try and only chose the best of the best to stop at.” Aaron nodded and smiled. He could tell he was walking closer to the alpha than necessary, but he couldn’t really pinpoint why. Did he want Robert to hold his hand? Did he just want to feel safer around a world of people he didn’t know? Did he want to keep Robert’s scent on him? He wasn’t entirely sure, but in the end, he didn’t really care all that much, either.
They kept walking, some people greeting Robert and smiling, others walked by without a word at all.
“Okay, okay. We’ve got to stop here.” Aaron quirked an eyebrow but nodded and followed the alpha to the little fountain that was surrounded by these benches. “This is my great-grandfather’s wish fountain.” Robert dug through his pocket and found two coins before he handed one over to Aaron and kept one for himself. “He said this fountain is what granted him his life’s biggest dream, all because he tossed a penny inside. He never told me what it was, but he always said to only throw a penny with a whole-hearted wish inside of it.”
“Alright, a wholehearted wish. So, like, something for the better of the world?”
“Or your greatest desire. Anything of substance.” Aaron nodded and took his coin in his fist, squeezed it tightly as he considered his wish.
I wish to be happy one day, for everything to work out and my life to follow the path I was meant to follow.
Then he throws it inside of the well and turns to Robert.
“What’d you wish for?” The alpha asks with his signature smile.
“I can’t tell you, Mr.Alpha, or else it won’t come true.”
“I suppose you’re right, wise omega.” Aaron rolls his eyes and follows when Robert walks on, leading him towards the next thing on his list that seems important.
The next incredibly important thing, as it turns out, was the town square. “This is the longest stop, probably.” Robert says softly. “It’s the most important place to me, I think, because it reminds me about how every single person here has a life and a world of their own that I could never even begin to comprehend, even if I tried. I know so few of these people’s stories and I know so little about my people as individuals, so I like to sit out here and just see that all of them have their lives and they do things that make them happy.”
“You want to know something, Robert?”
“Of course.”
“You astound me, really.” Aaron smiles and decides to take the leap. Sitting there, right beside the only alpha he’s ever felt he could one day trust with his entire self, he leans his head against his shoulder and lets the closeness fill both of their minds. “You’re so – you’re incredible. You think of everyone all the time and you’re stubborn and terribly stuck inside of your own head, but I can see why. You think about everything and how what you do will affect everyone and I respect you for that greatly. I think you’ll make a wonderful alpha someday.” He says with a smile.
He doesn’t notice the flash of a camera until the photographer is already walking away, but he doesn’t take any mind to it.
“You want to know something, Aaron?”
“Yes.” He says with a smile.
“You’re the only omega – the only person, really – that I feel like I can be my true self around. You make me feel something no one has ever made me feel before. It kind of scares me, honestly. But it’s also beyond exciting because you are so truly unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and I want to get to know you more and I have all of these feelings of wanting to protect you and my instincts tell me to, and I’ve never felt like this before.” Aaron lets that sink in for a long while, staying there with that wonderful closeness between him and the alpha.
“I feel that way, too.”
Their final stop is the laser tag that Aaron was promised. When they step inside of the building, the first instruction is to put on these awkward, heavy vests that have guns attached. Aaron puts his on and laughs at how the material drops to below his knees and Robert says it makes him look cute. They end up asking someone else to take a picture of them together on Robert’s phone, and on Aaron’ as well, and the stranger complies with a friendly smile.
They walk into the arena, and the first thing Robert does it shoot Aaron straight in the chest. He gasps and runs away, hides behind a platform where he can see Robert and waits – and then he strikes and laughs as he watches Robert’s vest blinks and fizzles out to a white color from the blue it had been a few seconds earlier.
They don’t end up paying any attention to the score board or anything but each other, running about and only focusing on shooting the other. It’s the most fun Aaron has had in a long, long time he realizes and when the speaker comes on and announces that the round is over, Aaron flings himself onto Robert and makes the alpha carry him out. They’re both sweaty and laughing, but it’s wonderful. Aaron wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Disgusting.” He hears from behind him.
“Right? I wouldn’t let my omega out like that.” It’s two sentences from total strangers that destroy his mood. Robert sets him down and there’s a frown on his face, so Aaron assumes he can tell that it upset him.
“Excuse me?” He says to one of the boys and they turn to face Robert. It seems like they had a response on their tongues until they realized who they were speaking to. “Did you have a comment you wanted to make to my face on how I was treating an omega? Or did I hear an apology?”
“Oh, um. We’re so sorry – we didn’t mean any harm.” One of the boys said.
“Yeah, we’re really sorry.” The other says and then they run off and Aaron smiles, even though it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I’m really sorry about that, Aaron.”
“It’s okay, Robert. No harm done, I’m fine.” He smiles again and this time it feels a little more genuine. He isn’t sure if it’ll ever stop hurting him when he hears people talk down about omegas, but knowing that Robert would be willing to stand up for him makes it feel a little bit better.
“Alright. I think it’s about time to get you home, yeah? It’s going to be way past your curfew when we get back, though.”
“Oh, shit.” He says and Robert quirks a curious eyebrow. “I didn’t – the gate won’t be open for someone to let us in past curfew. We can’t get in.” Robert seems to realize, then, and takes a deep breath.
“Oh, shit.” Aaron laughs. “Well… do you um, you could stay at my house, of course. I’m sure my mum would understand. Or I could get you a hotel room.”
“Whichever is alright with me.” He says, but he wants to say that he’d rather be with Robert. He doesn’t though, because he isn’t ready to lose all of his pride just yet. As much as he does want to be with Robert, he knows that the alpha has to want that just as much.
“Okay. You can come home with me, then. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He winds up back at Robert’s house. His mother, as it turns out, is still awake and she gives the two of them only one look before he knows the two of them are in for much more than a roast of questions.
“Robert!” She says with a disapproving tone and Aaron can’t help but wince. She sighs softly and pats the couch beside her. Robert sits and the alpha gestures for Aaron to follow, so he does. “I don’t – I’m sorry. Perhaps I don’t approve of this because I don’t understand. What’s happening here? You’re from a different pack, Aaron. Why are you here?” He suddenly realizes that the woman is an omega, too, and a slight sense of relief washes over him. Maybe she’s just looking out for him because he’s an omega.
“Mum – okay.” Robert starts with a sigh. “Aaron and I weren’t on business today. We were out because we quite enjoy each other’s company and I – I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
“You’re right. There’s nothing wrong with that, love. But, what is wrong with it is the fact that you brought an unbonded omega to your home to spend the night!” She sounded somewhat frantic, then, and Aaron felt the anxiety creeping up under his skin.
“Mum, we aren’t going to have sex. Aaron is going to sleep in the guest room and I’m going to sleep in my room. His pack’s curfew has passed because we weren’t thinking of the time, so he can’t get home tonight. We’ll both be returning to the Barton Pack in the morning, but we need to sleep for tonight.” Aaron isn’t sure what to do with his hands and suddenly that’s what he’s thinking about. He folds them up on his lap and keeps his eyes trained to the ground, unsure of what he’s supposed to do or say or if he’s even supposed to do or say anything. So he just stays still and quiet.
Then he hears Sarah’s defeated sigh and looks up. “Aaron, I’m really just looking out for you, okay? I’m so sorry if I seem a bit wild, but I just. I understand what it’s like to be an unbonded omega around an unbonded alpha and I want you safe and I want my son safe. So, I’ll have to be a bit wild at times to make sure that happens.”
“Of course, I understand. I’m sorry we lied to you earlier.”
“It’s alright, love. My son is old enough to not have to explain to me when he’s out on a date.” She smiles softly and Aaron glows under the word date.
Date.
It makes his heart flutter and he nods his agreement with an appreciative smile. “Thank you.” He finally says after a moment.
“I think we should head off to bed, Aaron. You alright with that?”
“Sounds great.” He says and stands to follow Robert up the stairs.
“I sleep on the second floor, since my parents have the master suit on the top floor. But the second floor has two guest bedrooms, so you can chose one of them to sleep in and I’ll get you some sheets and stuff and make up your bed.” Robert says softly and turns down a hallway when they reach the second floor. “This is the first choice.” He says and opens the door. “And,” he pauses and walks a few more doors down and opens another door, “The second.” The second room smells a lot more like Robert, so he decides then that he wants that one.
“Could I have the second one, please?”
“Of course.” Robert says and gets this pleased little smile on his face that makes Robert’s stomach flip. “I’ll be right back.” The alpha steps away and Aaron walks a bit further inside of the room and looks around. There’s a guitar set up against the wall and Aaron realizes that this was probably a room Robert was in somewhat often. Maybe that’s why his scent was so all over everything and it made his head spin in the best way.
He felt safe here. He felt like everything was alright and he was surrounded by good things in the world.
Robert came in a few moments later with some sheets and a duvet in his arms. Then he went over to the bed and started making up the bed for him. He couldn’t help but gawk, really. An alpha doing such a simple household chore was practically unheard of.
“Good night, Aaron. You’re welcome to come find me in the morning, or if you’re not awake I’ll come wake you before we need to head out, alright?”
“Alright, Robert. Thank you so much.”
He sleeps soundly that night, surrounded by Robert’s comforting scent and the word date still scrambling around in his head.
Day Four
When he woke the next morning, it was to a gentle touch on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Robert smiling down at him, so he let himself come back into consciousness. “Hey, it’s still pretty early, but we should probably head off soon.” He sat up and let himself stretch, and Robert had this pleased look on his face.
“What’s got you so happy?”
“You smell good –“ The alpha said and his eyes widened. “God, that was – that was really inappropriate, wasn’t it? I’m so sorry I just –“
“It’s okay, Robert. I don’t mind.” The alpha was smiling and Aaron suddenly felt good. He felt like that was enough to convey to the alpha that he didn’t mind if he made any advances. Something about him made things that he normally would panic about feel safe. “I kind of like it too. My scent with yours, it’s nice.”
“Yeah – it is.” Robert said with a smile. “I’m going to go make something up for breakfast. Do you have anything in mind?”
“Anything you want, I don’t mind.” He said with another smile and watched as the alpha nodded and walked out of the room. It blew his mind in the best way to think that Robert was willing to do all of these domestic things for him. It was so uncommon for alphas in his pack to do anything domestic unless their omegas were in heat – so he really just had to think about it for a while. Everything about Robert made him have to think and he really, really enjoyed it.
There’d only ever been two other alphas who’d attempted to court him and both of them had only left him with an unsettled feeling. The first, he’d agreed to let help him through a heat and the alpha had attempted to bond him without his permission – and the scar was still a prominent memory of the terrible accident. The second, he’d almost fallen in love with. He was so close to there when the alpha’s controlling side started coming out. He voiced him into doing things and got terribly possessive anytime he tried to go out anywhere. They were both before he was even legally an adult and it really just left him nervous and unsettled around alphas in general.
So, he’d slowly started developing some kind of instinct to know when an alpha was bad and when they were going to hurt him. Robert didn’t give him any of those feelings – instead he made him feel safe and cared for. It was still so strange to think about him in that way when he’d only known the alpha for a few days, but maybe, just maybe, if they were meant to be – he could feel it already and it would be just.
He’d read about alpha and omega couples being drawn to each other immediately because of their scents and because they felt right together. But that seemed different from what he was feeling when he was with Robert. Of course he felt right but not in any of the ways that he’d read in books. All of the books felt like they were dull and didn’t even begin to describe what he felt towards Robert.
Really, he felt like he was being pulled in. He felt like he could hold on to the alpha every moment and never get tired of being there. It was a wonderful feeling. Perhaps his mother had been right afterall, maybe she did need to worry about them being together.
Or maybe not. Robert seemed like he felt similar to what Aaron felt – since he’d mentioned his scent – but he still wasn’t entirely sure. What if he didn’t? Aaron wasn’t sure he could handle the feeling like he was just going to be wasting his time. Maybe he’d build the nerve to ask, or maybe he was just too tired to think about what he was trying to promise himself.
He sat up with his legs flung across the side of the bed and took a deep breath. He felt like that was actually the best sleep he’d had in a long time. He didn’t want to think about that – he didn’t want to think about the fact that he slept better because he was surrounded by Robert. So he didn’t. Instead, he pulled on the trousers he’d tossed off the night before and folded up and did a once over of himself in the mirror.
His hair was a mess, but he fixed it as best as he could with his fingers before he decided that was the best he could do. It was a bit awkward having to go out into public without brushing his teeth or being able to shower, but he’d be able to handle it. He understood that Robert wanted to get him back sooner rather than later, because it was probably pretty weird for them both to be here when no one really understood why.
So he went out of the room and – he ran into a much taller man and fell back on his ass. He looked up and his heart dropped. The man was so obviously an alpha and – Aaron wasn’t really scared but he was nervous. He assumed this was the pack alpha and he was at a loss for words. “I’m so – I’m so sorry, um.”
“That’s okay.” The alpha said with a smile that reminded him greatly of Robert’s and reached out a hand to help him up. Aaron blinked again - still not used to the customs that alphas seemed to have towards omegas here – but he took the alpha’s hand and let him help him up. “I do apologize, though, but… are you a … friend of Robert’s?”
“Oh – um. Yes. I’m working with him at my home – the Barton Pack? And we were out a bit last night and got caught up and didn’t realize my pack’s curew had passed and we weren’t able to get back. He … invited me to stay here.” The alpha nodded.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Desmond Sugden.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too. I’m Aaron Dingle.”
“Thanks for talking with me, but I do have to go. Perhaps I’ll see you again.”
“Yeah um – sorry again, for running into you.”
“Don’t worry about it, really.” The alpha said as he walked away, towards the stairs and went upstairs. Aaron went the opposite way and found his way downstairs and found Robert standing in the kitchen over the stove, making the food he was making and the kettle was already steaming.
“Hi.” He said softly and Robert turned over to him.
“Hey, Aaron. Just in time, this is almost done.” Robert reached into a cupboard and pulled out two plates and set them to the side. “I can tell you’re kind of confused about things, yeah? I’m sorry if how I act is confusing. My mum has never been able to cook well, almost burned the house down a few times, actually.” He said with a little laugh, “So it’s become a bit of a tradition in our house for the alphas to cook for the omegas, instead of the other way around. I think it’s more fun that way anyway.”
“I think that’s awesome, actually. Thanks for explaining, too. I didn’t want to ask.” Aaron said with a laugh.
“You can ask me anything, always. I don’t mind. Nothing really offends me anyway, honest.”
“I appreciate that.”
Robert made eggs and toast. It was fairly simple, but Aaron wasn’t complaining. He’d never been much of a breakfast person, and it was still much too early for him to be really hungry enough to be ready to eat anything even similar to a full breakfast. Robert seemed to understand.
When they sat down together to eat, it was silent for a while and Aaron blushed when he kept catching Robert stealing glances.
“Aaron?”
“Yes?”
“Feel free to tell me if this is completely unprofessional and totally beyond my right to ask you, but, would you like to go out sometime? On a proper date – like, with the intention of it being a date?” Aaron blinked again, shocked. He’d never imagined he’d be asked out in this state – with his hair a mess and wearing the clothes he’d been wearing the day before – but he also couldn’t imagine it feeling any better.
“I’d – I’d really love that.” He smiles shyly and lets himself take in Robert’s big, dimpled smile as his stomach flips and his happiness builds up.
“Pete!” He calls out and runs inside of the omega’s flat. He and Robert had decided that Aaron was going to go home for a few hours and get himself situated before he went out with him again. The other omega was fairly used to Aaron just showing up and coming in whenever he pleased, but today was probably different.
“You absolute twat!” Pete yelled out and pushed him against a wall. “Your mum has been calling me nonstop for the last ten hours, keeping me awake, questioning me on where the hell you’ve been. Why the fuck do you smell like an alpha? Where were you?”
“Pete. I was with Robert, it’s okay.” Pete, however, didn’t seem to consider this as okay. Instead, his eyebrows raised and he started screaming again.
“It’s okay? You were out with some random alpha from a pack two hours away who none of us have met and you’re covered in his scent and you want us all to think it’s okay? What the fuck Aaron? This isn’t like you! What were you thinking?”
“Pete – I wasn’t. We didn’t mean to get stuck out. We just – weleftpackterritoryandwegotstuckoutside.”
“Try again, slower.” Pete says, but Aaron already knows he understood him.
“We got stuck outside of pack territory beyond curfew…. So… I slept over at his pack house.” Pete looks even more flabbergasted than he had a moment earlier, and Aaron isn’t sure what he wants to feel in that moment. He thought he was going to be able to come over here and talk about his date to Pete, but instead, he already just wants to leave. “I think I’m just going to go, though, Ni. I didn’t come here to get lectures. I would have just gone straight home if I wanted that.” He says with a sigh and turns to go out the door. Pete doesn’t stop him and he sighs as he walks.
Once he’s down the stairs already, he finally hears Pete’s voice. “Alright. Fine. You’re right. Come back upstairs and come talk to me, then.” Aaron smiles a little and turns to go back upstairs. Once they’re safely back inside, the both of them collapse onto the couch.
“Robert asked me on a date.”
“A real date?” Pete asks and quirks an eyebrow.
“Yeah, like. A date-date. So we’re going out tonight for a little while. I’m so excited, Ni. He’s the first alpha I’ve ever really connected with like this, and I think there could be something there if I don’t fuck this up.”
“Aaron… I’m happy for you but… he’s from a different pack. Babe, he’s … you can’t be with him. You’d have to get Alpha Yaser’s approval to leave the pack, and then you’d have to leave, like, and mate with him. Would you really want to do that? Or worse, what if you don’t mate for a while and you have to ask Finn’s permission? Imagine how awkward that would be? And then what if he says no? I know you and you’ll leave anyway and then you’ll be dragged back screaming and they’ll force your bond to break, Aaron. This won’t turn out well.”
“Pete – stop being logical. Please. For just one minute. I want to be excited about my date.”
“I want to be excited for you too, Aaron. But I also can’t let you walk into this without making sure you’re considering everything that could happen.”
“I really don’t think they’d say no. It’s not like I’m a really necessary asset to the pack. My job isn’t incredibly important and I’m not going to be incredibly missed if I leave. So. They have no reason to say no, right?”
“I guess. But then you’d be leaving me and your entire family. Would you really be willing to leave us all for an alpha?” Aaron frowned.
“I don’t know, Pete. But – there’s something there. I feel this incredible connection there and I don’t want that to go to waste. Besides, we certainly aren’t discussing mating yet, not even close. It’s the first date.”
“I know, babe. I’m glad you came to me first, though. Tell me all about him.”
“God.” Aaron says with a grin and tells the other omega all about their day yesterday and all about the feeling of happiness and safety he gets when he is around the alpha. Pete seems to relax slowly as he speaks, which makes him feel better, so he keeps going. “I just – he makes me feel like I’m a good omega. Like – I’ve never even wanted to feel like that, right? But he makes me want to. I don’t even know – he fucking – he made me breakfast this morning, Ni. Like, what? I’ve never heard of an alpha that can cook. I’m amazed.”
“You’re in love.” Aaron choked on his own spit when he realized what Pete said.
“I’m not in love. I’ve only known him for four days.”
“So? You’ve read the same books I have. When an alpha and omega are compatible, they can fall in love much more quickly than any normal couple would have. Maybe it’s fate or summat that the two of you got paired together like this. I mean, what a fluke, right? Omega Ross goes into heat and leaves Finn unable to help Alpha Robert… Then you get to help him… and you two hit it off right away? I’d call that fate, if you asked me.”
“Yeah, maybe. You know, you’re much too wise for me, Pete.”
“Maybe, but I just want you happy and safe, Aaron. You’re my best friend and if you do end up leaving with him and falling in love with him and getting stupidly in love and being disgusting then I won’t disapprove.” Aaron laughed and leaned on the other omega. He was so glad he picked such an awesome best friend.
“Thanks, Ni.”
“Now, get your ass in the shower, I’ll text your mum and tell her what happened, and wear your sex clothes. Cause, I think you might need it since this is your first real date.”
“One time! Stop calling them my sex clothes!”
“I mean, they do make you look like walking sex… so…” Aaron rolled his eyes and stood up before he went over to Pete’s bathroom. He was ready to have a good night and a good date and a happy experience with Robert. He was kind of nervous about how the night would turn out, but there was a bigger part of him that was optimistic enough to know that everything was going to turn out fine and there was absolutely nothing he needed to worry about.
When he finds Robert outside of Pete’s flat (after texting him the address) he’s pleasantly surprised to see that the alpha dressed up somewhat as well. Neither of them are in formal attire, but it feels more like dating attire. It makes Aaron feel happy – like his thoughts are matched by the alpha and he’s not trying too hard. It’s a good feeling.
“So,” The alpha starts with a little smile. “I was thinking a picnic, but then I realized that it’s going to rain within a few hours. So, I booked us a reservation at a restaurant I heard was really good around here.” Robert says with a grin and a glint in his eyes that he can’t help but keen at.
“Robert.. there are no resaturants here that require reservations.”
“Shh, I know. Just. Trust me, okay?” Aaron rolls his eyes and decides to trust him anyway. If Robert decided to put this much interest into something that he didn’t have to, the least Aaron can do is let it all play out. So he does.
It’s a little restaurant at the very edge of town called dim and Aaron quirks an eyebrow. He knows the person who owns the restaurant, in fact. Ed, a nice lad who’s never really had any goal in life other than to make people Happy. But, again, he decides to let this all play out.
“Okay, close your eyes, please?” Robert says softly and Aaron can’t help but roll his eyes, but he does. Then Robert grabs his hand and he ignores the little flutter in his chest as he’s led in a direction he can’t really pinpoint. It’s probably a minute and a half before he feels Robert’s hand on the small of his back. “Okay, open.”
His mouth drops open when he opens his eyes. There’s candles set up at a table for two, along with some fairy lights and the lights are dimmed just the right amount. There’s a bottle of champagne on the table and soft music playing in the background.
Robert pulls his chair out for him and Aaron is still slightly in shock as he takes everything in. He’s not sure anyone has ever done anything this kind for him before and he actually has to blink away the happy tears that form in his eyes.
“You’re incredible.” He says through a happy laugh. Robert’s eyes light up and he looks happy. Aaron understands – he feels the exact same.
The alpha pours the both of them a sleeve of champagne and he even pours Aaron’ first. It’s another small thing that Aaron isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to. Little things like that that his culture likely wouldn’t approve of how an alpha treats an omega.
It’s a weird time to think about work, but he realizes that he needs to tell Finn that there’s nothing that they need to negotiate in that department with Robert’s pack. There’s not a single things wrong with the way that Robert has it set in his head for his people to treat omegas and he’s amazed with that realization.
“I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” He says with a smile.
“You deserve all of this and more, Aaron. I can’t really explain this pull I feel towards you, but I want to make you happy.”
“You’re doing a really good job.” Aaron says with a smile.
They spend the rest of their little date night chatting and talking about everything and anything and Aaron tells stories of his life and Robert does, too, and everything feels so real and open and raw that he doesn’t want to give it up, not even for a moment.
When the night comes to an end, he’s still not ready to give it up. “What ever happened to your advisor? It seemed like he was everywhere those first two days, and now he’s just disappeared?”
“Oh, he had to go back home for a few days. My dad needed help with something pretty important, so he’ll be back in a day or two.”
“That’s cool.”
“But, that means I’m technically all alone in that big cabin… all by myself.” Robert says and waggles his eyebrows and Aaron can’t help but laugh.
“You saying you need me, the big old omega to come and protect you?”
“Something like that, yeah.” Robert says with a grin. “Do you want to come back with me? You don’t have to, not by any means.”
“I’d love to, R. Honestly, I’m not quite ready for this night to end just yet.”
“Me neither.” The alpha says with a smile and Aaron feels his heart rate pick up again.
So they walk back to Robert’s cabin in silence the rest of the way. It’s a comfortable silence, surrounding the two of them in a way that makes Aaron feel somehow closer to the alpha than he’d felt before.
When Robert’s arm snakes around his waist and his hand rests at the small of his back, he feels good still. He loves being touched by Robert and he loves everything about Robert.
They walk inside and skip right past the little den area and go straight towards Robert’s room. Aaron might like to play the innocent card, but he can understand what going back to someone’s place after a date means as well as anyone else.
Their eyes met for a moment and Robert reached up and touched his cheek. “I think you might be the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“I don’t think you’ve looked in a mirror recently, then.” Aaron says with a little laugh. Robert grins down at him and lets his hands go to his hips. Finally, finally, then, the alpha brings their lips together in a gentle kiss that makes Aaron entire body feel like it’s lighting up.
“Do you want this, Aaron? I have to know you do.”
“Yes, please. I want – I want you to touch me. You make my head spin and I want this with you so much.” Their foreheads are touching now, and Aaron feels Robert’s scent all around him – he feels safer and happier and like he’s home. It’s such an odd feeling, but he let it take over. It feels so good to let go and it feels even better to know he doesn’t have to worry anymore. He isn’t worried about Robert hurting him, he realizes. Robert’s the first alpha he’s ever trusted with everything he has and he thinks, just maybe, that Pete might have been right. Maybe this was all some fluke of fate that brought them together because he’s so – he feels like everything is falling into place as their lips slot together and Robert’s hands touch the skin of his stomach beneath his shirt. “Can we – bed?”
“Of course, love.” Robert lifts him and he seems like he has absolutely no problem doing it and it makes Aaron’ head spin all over again. His entire brain is already just RobertRobertRobert and he still wants more. He isn’t sure it’ll ever be enough.
The alpha sets him down on the bed and kisses him again, rougher this time as the purpose begins to settle in. Their scents are mixing together in the room as arousal and excitement makes them stronger. Robert’s hand moves up Aaron’ thigh, gentle, fleeting touches that make Aaron’ heart race.
The alpha undoes each button on Aaron’ shirt, revealing each inch of skin with a gentle kiss pressed there. Aaron can’t find it in himself to do anything but watch how his alpha works so carefully, so gently, to make sure he feels taken care of and he feels like his entire world is slowly clicking into the exact place where he was meant to be.
The material is finally gone after a few more moments and tossed to the side and Robert pulls away just a bit as he looks over Aaron’ body one more time. “You’re so beautiful.” He repeats, and Aaron flushes. He isn’t sure if it’s his inner omega that’s really enjoying the praise and the compliments or if it’s just how Robert says them so sincerely that makes him feel like every word is true, but for the first time in his life he feels like he wants to take a compliment as it is.
“Thank you.” He chooses to say and goes to tug on Robert’s shirt as well, fingers fumbling with the buttons until the alpha gets his hint and undoes the material himself, tossing it to the side along with Aaron’ clothing. The kiss this time, when their lips meet, feels like it finally has a solid purpose. He knows, finally, that it’s a kiss that will lead to sex. Robert’s skin against his own feels wonderful, just the right amount of warm and comforting and he wants everything Robert is willing to give him.
Robert seems to get the hint, finally, and moves his mouth to the omega’s neck, kisses and sucks little marks into the skin there and into his sweet spot that have him gasping. If Robert’s tongue moves over that spot where a bond mark will be one day, he doesn’t point it out. “What’s this?” Robert asks, though, and Aaron’ entire body freezes.
He’d forgotten about his failed mating mark.
“You don’t have to tell me, I’m sorry.” Robert says after a moment. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s okay.” He says genuinely and kisses Robert again, wraps his arms around the alpha’s neck and pulls him closer. That must finally be the hint that Robert needs because he chooses that moment to rut his hips down against Aaron’, which makes him moan softly into the kiss. Aaron is satisfied like this – he’s happy to be able to hand over his control for the first time in his life. He’s happy to let an alpha take care of him and it’s such a foreign feeling that he doesn’t know what to do with it. So he just lets himself submit.
Robert, of course, seems to notice this immediately and he finally undoes the button on his trousers and pulls them off of Aaron’ thighs. He feels exposed in the best way when he’s finally naked in front of the first alpha he’s ever felt this comfortable with. “No pants?” Robert says with a curious tone and Aaron’ face feels like its burning under his flush. “Did you expect this, love? My good omega, wanted to make this easier for me?” He preens – and really he would normally take something as stereotypical as his good omega as an insult, but it feels… good. It feels great to be able to take the praise Robert is giving him and accept it.
“Wanted you – thought about it a lot.” He says in a shy voice and Robert, scoots down the bed and mouths at Aaron thighs. Excitement builds in his stomach as he thinks about what’s happening – about what’s going to happen. He’s going to have sex with Robert. The most beautiful alpha he’s ever laid eyes on and he’s so, so ready. When Robert wraps his mouth around the head of his cock suddenly, Aaron grips at the sheets and gasps, his back arches. He’s never heard of an alpha giving head before – never heard of an alpha putting a dick in their mouth – because he’d always heard they thought they were better than that. His heart swells because Robert doesn’t seems to care about that – in that moment it seems like the alpha is only focused on his pleasure and it makes everything so much better for Aaron.
“Nn, Robert. Feels good.” He says through a labored breath and watches the alpha sink his head down over his length. The alphas hands are planted firmly on his hips, holding him down and keeping him pliant, but that’s really the only sign there of Robert’s dominance. Aaron loves it. He loves that fact that Robert is so willing to break that alpha stereotype.
He doesn’t stop, either. He keeps his mouth moving and bobs his head quickly until Aaron is certain he’s dripping all over the bed. Then – unexpectedly – a finger prods at his hole as Robert sucks at the head of his cock. “Oh, god. Robert I’m – gonna come.” He says, but the alpha doesn’t stop. Instead, he presses his finger into Aaron’ hole and that pushes him over the edge, has him shouting out Robert’s name as he comes.
“Beautiful.” Robert says again, right after he finally pulls his mouth away from Aaron’ cock and sticks his tongue out to catch a stray drop of come. Aaron thinks that looks better than anything he’s ever seen.
“You really are something else, Robert Sugden.” Aaron says with a tired laugh. “Will you fuck me now?” Robert waggles his eyebrows and kisses Aaron softly this time, brushes a few strands of hair out of his face and just looks at him for a few moments.
“I could, but I think I want to make you come one more time before I do. Do you want that?” Aaron swallows as he feels the excitement in his stomach once again and nods. “Words, love. I want to make sure you’re okay with everything I’m doing, always.”
“Yes, Robert. I want that.” Robert smiles and lets himself sit on his heels as he stays at the foot of the bed. He takes that moment to push one of Aaron’ legs up so it’s touching his chest and pushes two fingers back inside of him. Aaron lets out a breathy moan and lets his eyes fall shut, lets himself get overwhelmed with the pleasure, just on that perfect edge of too sensitive and not enough at the same time. Then Robert crooks his fingers in just the right way and his back arches again and his eyes fly open as he moans. “Oh, god. There – right there.” He says, fisting at the sheets beneath him as Robert’s fingers stay in that spot, rubbing relentless little circles that make his toes curl.
Every nerve ending in his body feels like it’s on fire and he can’t help the moaning, writing mess he’s become on the bed as Robert doesn’t let up. He can already feel his second orgasm coming and he’s not sure he’s ever come twice in a row so quickly outside of heat, but his toes curl and his head falls back against the pillow breathlessly. “I’m gonna come again, R. God, nng,” He sees white when he comes that time, and fucking Robert puts his fingers right into his mouth once Aaron has come and sucks his slick from his fingers like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
Aaron isn’t sure why that’s so incredibly hot, but fuck all it is.
“I think – I think I need a second.” He says breathlessly. He feels boneless, laying there. Every worry he’s ever had feels like it’s completely out of reach as he lays there, fucked out and unable to think about anything but how amazing the smell of their scents mixed together in the room feels surrounding him. He realizes, suddenly, that he wants to be like that forever. He doesn’t ever want to smell his own scent alone or Robert’s alone – he wants them to be together, inseparable, and he isn’t sure how he could ever put that into words. Or if he even should.
“Take all the time you need, love.” Robert says softly and sucks a few more marks into his neck. It’s all making Aaron’ head spin. He doesn’t want to think, though. He wants to let all of this take him away to the place where he feels safest and he wants to be able to let go.
“Kiss me, please.” He says softly. For a moment he’s not even sure Robert’s heard him, but then Robert is close to him again, their foreheads pressed together and the alpha kisses just the tip of his nose.
“Anything you need, always.” And then he kisses him and – yeah. Aaron doesn’t want this feeling to ever end. He wants to live in this moment where everything is happiness and bliss and nothing could ever hurt him. He wants to stay in this moment where all he can think about it Robert and how wonderful it would be to have the rest of his life with him and he wants to think about how much he’d love to do this all the time. He definitely wants to think about how he’d love to be able to feel this press of Robert’s lips against his own every day for the rest of his life.
“Okay, okay. I’m ready – please.” He says, breathless again. He can feel how hard Robert still is against his hip and he takes a moment to appreciate Robert’s self control, and then he preens under the fact that Robert really does just want to give him what he needs. He didn’t rush anything to chase his own pleasure, instead he made sure Aaron was the center of it and made sure he was happy before he even thought about himself. Aaron isn’t in love – not yet – but he realizes that he could be, and he could be very quickly.
It doesn’t even scare him.
Robert slowly pushes into him, and Aaron swears he sees stars. It’s slow, and he can feel the drag of each inch inside of him and against his prostate until Robert bottoms out. He can already feel that slight, slight tug of his knot against his rim when the alpha pulls out and moves his hips quickly to fuck into him, but it’s not enough. It’s that same line of too much but not enough that has him gripping at Robert’s biceps, finger nails digging into his skin as each of his thrusts hits right onto his prostate. Robert keeps making these little grunting noises that make Aaron’ stomach feel tight and he moans breathlessly, little ‘uh, uh’s’ coming from his mouth with each thrust from the alpha. Then – finally he feels the catch of Robert’s knot.
“Please.” He says softly, and Robert seems to get the hint as he presses back inside of him quickly and his knot fills to it’s full size, locking them together. Aaron finally comes for the third time as the pressure goes completely against his prostate once again and he falls back, completely boneless and breathless to the mattress.
“I’m gonna move us a little, kay?” Robert says and moves them to that Aaron is cuddling with him, both of them on their sides. Aaron shifts himself just enough so his nose is pressed against the part of Robert’s neck where his scent is the strongest.
“’M sleepy.” He says and Robert threads his fingers through his hair once again.
“You can sleep, love. I’m sure you need it now.” Aaron smiles and lets his eyes fall closed. He falls asleep feeling safe and loved and cared for in all of the ways he’d always dreamed of.
When he wakes, Robert isn’t inside of him anymore and he glances at the clock. He wasn’t out for more than an hour, and he shifts into a more comfortable position. His fingers find that same spot that Robert had questioned and trace the scar. He isn’t ashamed of it anymore. Not at all. It’s a part of him – it helped him grow, helped him gain that sassy side of him that’s so uncharacteristic of omegas. It helped him learn to differentiate between the bad alphas and the good alphas and it helped him learn that bonding can be the omega’s choice, too.
So he decides to tell Robert.
“It’s a failed mating mark.” Aaron says into the darkness. He isn’t even sure if Robert is awake, but when he feels the alpha flinch, he realizes that he is. “There was this alpha who I’d decided to let help me through one of my heats and we had an agreement prior for him to not bond me under any circumstance, since I was only seventeen.” He pauses, Robert’s fingers start running through his hair and he feels safe. He feels like he can tell the story without bursting into tears. “I didn’t want it, I wasn’t ready to bond at the time and my body knew that, so it failed. My heat ended immediately and it left the scar. It used to go all the way down to my heart, and my pack doctor said it was lucky that I lived, because most failed bonds on the omega’s end will shock their heart so badly that they have a heart attack.”
“Thank you for telling me that, Aaron. I promise I’ll never betray your trust in any way even close to that. I would never hurt you. You mean a lot to me already.”
“You mean a lot to me too, Robert. I trust you so much it’s crazy and – I don’t know. You make me happy.”
“You make me happy, too. Sleep now, love. I’ll be here in the morning.”
“Good night, Robert.”
Day Five
“Alright, so, you know… I do have a job I’m supposed to complete with you, right?” Aaron asked when they were still in bed, neither really ready to get up and face the day. Robert was threading his fingers through his hair while Aaron laid his head on Robert’s bare chest. They were both still completely naked, but Aaron had never felt more comfortable. He’d never felt as secure in his body around anyone as he did with Robert. Robert made him really believe that he was beautiful.
“Yes?” Robert asks with a quirked eyebrow. Of course Aaron was smart enough to know when someone was trying to avoid something, but he really had to get this done. And the more of it they did now, the more time they’d have to spend together without him having to worry about it later. It was really just a win win situation for the both of them, so he couldn’t really imagine why Robert kept wanting to put it off.
“Do you think we could just… finish that up today so we can spend the rest of your days here just spending time together? I feel like if we just knock it all out now, we won’t regret it later.” He really did want to just get everything done now. Perhaps once they did, they’d just have the rest of the days to have days like yesterday. Aaron was starting to get slightly stressed over what he was going to have to report back to Finn because he was certain Finn would be able to come back and handle work within the next five days. So, he’d definitely expect Aaron to have his job done.
“Yeah, sure, I guess.�� Robert says with a small smile. “I suppose I can say I trust you enough now, yeah? So, sure.”
“Alright. I’m gonna run home and get fresh clothes and my files and then I’ll come back, okay?”
“Do you want me to walk with you?” His heart skipped a beat. Something about having an alpha take care of him and want to watch over him and make sure he was okay made him feel good. Just another omega thing, he assumed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t feel really good. He loved that Robert made him feel all of these things. But he knew he couldn’t voice this, especially when they’d only known each other for less than a week.
“You don’t have to. It’s not too far.”
“I don’t mind. Then I can get my morning run in, too. I’ve been kind of neglecting it since I’ve got here.” Aaron just rolled his eyes but nodded. If Robert wanted to walk with him, he didn’t mind all that much. His mum probably wouldn’t yell at him until Robert was already gone, so, he wasn’t going to let himself worry about that, either.
They walked the entire distance until they were outside of Aaron’ house. Robert smiled softly. “This is a really nice place.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. Fits all of us in there nicely.”
“You have a lot of siblings.”
“Yeah, seven.” Robert’s eyebrows shot up and Aaron just grinned. “But I should go, my mum might be slightly angry since I stayed out for a while without telling her.”
“Your mum still gets mad at you for that?”
“Yeah, it’s an omega thing. She’s just worried about my safety is all.”
“That makes sense. But I will see you soon, right?”
“Of course. Don’t miss me too much!” He said with a smile and watched as the alpha walked away. Then he went inside.
As soon as the door closed behind him, he could already feel it coming. Both of his parent’s hard gazes were on him and his mother had her hands on her hips. He was definitely in for it. “Where the hell have you been?!” His mother shouted.
“Honestly, I’ve been out with an alpha. He’s taken me on a few dates and kept me busy, and we got caught up past curfew then I just crashed with him.” He said with a flat voice. He was an adult, after all. The only thing keeping him from getting a proper place to stay for himself at this point was the fact that most tenants still wouldn’t let an omega sign a lease for themselves. His parents both seemed shocked, but his mother’s eyebrows were raised and she looked like she was trying to think of something to say but couldn’t.
“Was that the alpha, then?” She finally said after a moment.
“Yeah.”
“Who is he?” She asked and motioned for him to sit.
“His name’s Robert Sugden. He’s –“
“Sugden?” His father cut in, “As in, the soon-to-be alpha of another pack? Aaron, what the hell?” He could see the frantic confusion in his father’s face and he had no idea what to say or how to make him feel any better, so he just shrugged.
“I don’t know, dad. It’s not like I meant to enjoy spending time with him, you know? He’s just – he’s so great. I like him a lot already.” He said softly. It was true. His attachment with Robert was already there and it was definitely only going to keep growing with the more time he spent with the alpha. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good or a bad thing just yet – but he wanted to consider it a good thing.
“What are you expecting out of this, son? He’s an alpha of another pack, you’re just a pack member from this pack. You two – pack alphas don’t have serious relationships with omegas who aren’t from status, Aaron. Please don’t get your hopes up or anything, okay? Just don’t get your heart broken.” Aaron hadn’t really thought of that – but then again, they had slept together the night before… So.
“I’m not going to, dad. It’s – I just like him a lot and who knows. Maybe you’re right and he’ll leave in five days and forget about me, or maybe something else will come of it. But I do like him an awful lot. I’m just going to go shower and stuff, though, cause he and I have some work stuff to do.”
“Work stuff?” He heard his dad ask as he ran up the stairs. His father must not have put two and two together and realized that he was working with Robert, but now that he knew, he couldn’t take it back. He didn’t mind, though. It was best to be upfront with his parents because if he wasn’t, they’d just figure it out later anyway.
Within an hour, he was all dressed and ready and had a bag with his papers and he was on his way back to Robert’s cabin to speak with him again. Nicholas was standing outside, though, smoking a cigarette and leaning against the outside wall. Aaron was a little surprised to see him, but he still gave a friendly smile and wave. “Hello, Mr.Grimshaw. Good to see you again.”
“Hello, Aaron.” He said and tossed his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out with his foot. “I need to speak to you.” Aaron furrows his eyebrows but walks over to the alpha anyway.
“Sure.”
“Who’s Finn Barton?” Aaron’ heart skips a beat. “Because I believe he’s the pack relations representative, yes? So who are you?” Aaron blinks a few times and stares at the alpha. He’s caught. He knows this is the end and he’s fucked over, really, but he decides not to make this worse on himself.
“Alright. You’re right, I’m not Finn. He’s my boss, but his omega went into heat the first day he was expected to meet with you. He asked me to come here in his place and when you first asked me – I just. I panicked and didn’t know what to tell you or how to tell you my real job, so I just agreed. I really, really didn’t mean to lie. I’m so sorry.” He said the last bit softly – but he was caught. It was too late and the apology probably didn’t matter much, if at all. The alpha sighed softly.
“I understand where you’re coming from, Aaron. I do. I knew something was up with you from the beginning, so I’ll let my pride let you stay, just because I knew I was right.” Another soft sigh. “Robert doesn’t need to know. When the both of you part ways in a few days, he can return with me to our pack and nothing of this will ever come up again. You won’t tell him, I won’t tell him.” Aaron didn’t like the fact that Nick didn’t consider there would be anything between he and Robert after these ten days, but it was probably the best to think like that. “Its not like it really matters in the grand scheme of things, it’s just a job, right? You seem to be doing a good enough job, so, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“Um, yeah.” Aaron wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Go inside, go do your job or whatever it is you kids have been doing the last week.” Aaron nodded and went into the cabin. Robert was sitting on the couch, shirt missing and phone in his hand. Aaron didn’t allow himself to stare or even look at him for more than a few moments.
“Will I ever come in here and find you fully dressed?” He asked with a giggle, and Robert finally looked up.
“Probably not. It’s much worse when I’m home, believe it or not. I’m more clothed than usual for Nick’s sake, since we’re sharing such close quarters.”
“How kind of you.” Aaron said with a grin. Robert winked and patted the side of the couch beside him.
“Come sit with me.”
“Okay.” He said with a smile and sat with Robert. “No crazy plans for the day?”
“Nope, not today. I was just thinking we could watch a movie or something along those lines, since Nick has forbidden me from taking the car for the entire day.” Aaron nodded and smiled.
“We’re still working on this file when the movie is over, though. I haven’t forgotten about that.”
“My clever omega, knows when I’m trying to trick him out of something.” Aaron laughed to hide the way he felt a surge of heat run through him when Robert said my omega.
They ended up eating dinner in, spaghetti, and talking for a long while once again. Aaron had managed to finish that case and weasel in the final questions Finn had given him, so now they were free to do whatever they wanted for the rest of Robert’s time in his pack. Something like excitement flourished inside of his stomach when he thought about that – about five days where there were no responsibilities placed on top of them.
A part of him hoped they could have sex again or go on another date or something along those lines – but another part of him really was just so happy over the fact that they were able to spend time together at all. Nick had put that idea in his head that he and Robert wouldn’t be anything beyond this week – but he felt that that was wrong just because of the dynamic between he and the alpha.
“Aaron?” He heard Robert ask and looked up. “You alright? Looked like you were kinda… thinking pretty hard there for a second.”
“Nope, every thing’s fine. I was just thinking about some stuff. Nothing bad, though.” He said with a smile and let himself enjoy it when Robert returned it.
“Alright.”
They wound up in bed together again that night. They had sex again, and it was just as wonderful. Robert’s sweet whispers in his ear as he came and how he took care of him afterwards, well, it all made him feel incredible. He felt safe and loved and cared for in a way he’s never felt before.
Robert made him feel things he’d never felt before, and he didn’t even want to run from it.
Day Six
Aaron went home the next morning and he was sick. The second he was home and in his own room, he ran into his bathroom and knelt over the toilet to throw up. His first thought and incredible fear was that he was pregnant. So, he double checked that he’d taken every day of his birth control and – thankfully – he had. So he wasn’t pregnant. Just sick.
“Mum.” He whined, walking downstairs and getting a glass of water.
“Oh, dear. You look terrible. What’s wrong, love?”
“I just threw up. I feel ill.” She cooed and pet her fingers through his hair.
“I’ll get you some tea and crackers. Go on back up to your room and call your work and make sure they know you won’t be coming in today. Mothers orders.” She said with a soft, caring smile and it made Aaron smile too. “I’ll bring you some medicine once you’ve got some food in your stomach as well. I think you need a rest day.”
“Thanks, mum.”
“Of course, love. You may be an adult, but you’re still my baby, alright? Never forget that.” He just laughed a little and nodded before he went off to his room and laid back down. He still felt awful. His head was pounding and his stomach ached, so he grabbed his phone.
With a soft sigh, he dialed Robert’s number and let it ring until he got an answer on the other end.
“Hello?” The alpha said on the other line and Aaron let his eyes fall shut just for a moment, trying to relax. He still felt like his entire body could shrivel up at any moment.
“Hi, Robert. I don’t think I’m going to be able to come see you again today because I’m really not feeling well. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, that’s okay. What’s wrong?” Aaron smiled – he felt like Robert actually cared and wasn’t just asking because he felt obligated to do so.
“My stomach and my head, mostly. Nothing serious, though. Don’t worry.” He knew alphas had an odd tendency to overly worry about omegas when they were ill or in danger – and he didn’t want that from Robert. He didn’t want to be seen as the omega that needed help or needed to be cared for.
“Can I bring you some soup later?” Aaron couldn’t help the little bubble of laughter that came from that. Robert was so sweet.
“If you’d like.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later then, Aaron. Text me every once and a while, yeah? Just let me know you’re alright and all that.”
“Why do you care so much?” Aaron asked, but there was no malice in his voice. It was asked innocently enough that he figured Robert would answer honestly. He hadn’t even really meant to ask, just because he was naturally far too bold for his own good it seemed to slip out.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. I just feel like I need to care for you, need to make sure you’re okay and stuff. If you think I’m being overbearing you can tell me, it’s alright. I don’t want you to feel like it’s necessary for me to do this – cause it is your choice and –“
“Robert.” Aaron said softly. “I think it’s sweet. If you want to – court me , or whatever this is – I’m not going to deny it.” He heard the soft relieved exhale and smiled again.
“Okay. Get some rest and drink plenty of water. Try and feel better.”
Aaron decided not to think too much of it when Robert came to his room later that day and tapped his shoulder to wake him. He opened his eyes, sleepy Roberte still over his head. “Hi.” He said softly and Robert smiled.
“Hello, love.” Robert said and sat on the side of the bed. “I brought you some soup. Are you hungry? If not, I can just warm it up for you later.” Aaron sat up against his headboard and nodded his response. “Alright, good.” The alpha said with a smile. Aaron knew that alphas had this sense of protection over omegas, especially the ones they were courting. He wasn’t really even sure if that was what was happening, but he was just glad he had Robert here to do this for him. It felt better coming from an alpha than it felt coming from his mother. “Here, budge up just a little bit – “ the alpha said and Aaron sat forward a bit and felt Robert stick a pillow behind his back. He hummed appreciatively. “There. Now here’s this.” Robert handed him a cup of soup once he’d taken the lid off and a spoon to go with it. Then he was threading his fingers through his hair again, moving it away from his eyes and tucking the longer strands back behind his ears.
When he was done, the alpha took a cool rag and placed it on his forehead. Aaron hadn’t even realized how much he’d wanted that until he got it – and it was the exact same with how he felt about Robert when he laid down and cuddled with him.
“Aren’t you going to get sick?”
“No. Alpha immune system and all that.” Aaron rolled his eyes, but he was fond.
“Okay. Good. Cause I don’t know if I would have let you leave anyway… you’re warm.” Robert laughed a little.
“I think you need to rest some more, love. You seem awfully tired.” Aaron just nodded and let himself drift off. He wasn’t sure why this alpha chose him to be this omega he was going to take care of and he certainly wasn’t sure why he’d gotten so lucky with everything Robert had done for him and how kind he was, but he let himself thank whatever higher power or fate there was out there that was controlling everything happening in his life, because it was all pretty great.
When he woke up later, Robert wasn’t in bed with him anymore, but he could hear voices outside of his bedroom door.
“Yes, ma’am.” He heard Robert’s voice. “I care about him quite a lot.”
“I’m glad you do. I think he needs someone who cares for him as much as I can feel you do. Please don’t hurt him, though. If you don’t intend for this to be serious, please just tell him right away.”
“I don’t intend to hurt him. I would never do anything to harm him on purpose.” Aaron let that thought put him back to sleep with a wide smile on his face.
Day Seven
When Aaron woke the next morning, he was alone, but he felt better. His head wasn’t pounding and his stomach felt like it wouldn’t kill him if he actually stood up or like, took a breath. So he’d improved and that alone was enough to make him feel much better already. He crawled out of bed and went downstairs to find everything – quiet. It was strange.
As much as he loved his big family and his siblings, the silence was incredible. But it also made him nervous. His first thought was that something had gone wrong or he’d given some kind of killer bug to everyone in his family and they were all dead and he started to panic. It took a few moments for him to calm himself down and he walked into the kitchen. There was a note on the fridge that finally let him calm down.
Aaron –
Went to grab brekki and groceries with the kids. I wasn’t sure if you were feeling up to going or not, so we decided to just let you sleep. Hope you’re feeling better love and text me and let me know if you’re going to work or not – mum
He smiled at the note and put on a kettle for tea for himself before sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs. It was only just past eight, so he wouldn’t be expected at Robert’s until almot eleven, but he decided to send the alpha a text anyway. Just to be nice.
[Aaron 8:07am ]
Hey! I’m feeling much better, so I’ll be able to spend the day with you if you’d like x
He kind of regretted how personal it sounded, but there was nothing he could do now. It was already sent. His tea started to steam so he poured the water over his tea bag and sat at the table and scrolled through emails until it was all gone. Robert didn’t respond, so he assumed the alpha was either asleep or just didn’t feel like he needed to respond.
Aaron wasn’t worried about it.
Of course not.
Robert responded around two hours later with a smiley face and three party emojis, though, so Aaron decided that he’d worried for nothing.
“Alright, tell me a secret, then.” Robert said with a little smile and Aaron rolled his eyes.
“A secret about what?”
“You. Tell me something no one except you knows.”
“Hm,” Aaron started and bit his lip, “One time, in year eleven, I kissed another omega.”
“Scandalous.” Robert said with a little chuckle and Aaron laughed.
“Tell me something about you.”
“I’m not quite sure it’s much of a secret, but I’d quite like to kiss you right now.” Aaron bit his lip a little harder and felt his face get warm. He wished he didn’t flush as much as he did when he was shy or embarrassed, but Robert always seemed to bring that out in him.
“So kiss me then.” Robert grinned and they kissed for a while, just lazy touches of their lips and Robert’s fingers running through his hair. “You want to know another secret?”
“Of course.”
“I like you quite a lot.” Robert’s grin made him feel like his insides were melting – and he loved it.
“You know, I like you quite a lot too, Aaron. You really are something else.” They fell into a comfortable silence after that, Aaron leaning against Robert with the telly playing something in the background that he was trying to pay attention to but failing – and Robert’s gentle touches and skims of his fingers against his back. It was the most comfortable he’d been in quite a long time, and it was the most comfortable he’d ever been with an alpha, so he was content.
Aaron wasn’t sure when or why he’d fallen asleep, but when he woke up, there was a blanket draped over him and he was still on the couch in Robert’s cabin. It smelled like there was food in the kitchen and Aaron couldn’t help but smile. After a few minutes of letting himself lie there and relax, he got up and went to the kitchen to find Robert bent over the stove cooking something.
“You’re cooking again?”
“Yeah. Hope you don’t mind chicken?”
“Not at all.” Aaron sat at one of the kitchen chairs and just watched Robert as he moved gracefully about the kitchen and seemed like he knew exactly what it was that he was doing. “I like it when you cook.”
“I’m not entirely the alpha that thinks omegas belong in the kitchen and stuff like that, you know? I am somewhat traditional in a few things, as you know, but I don’t believe alphas should be clueless when it comes to every household chores.”
“Man, you’d be surprised how many alphas do think like that, though. Especially in this pack. Like, they think we want to cook anymore than we do after we’ve worked the same amount of hours they have. It’s really – I don’t know. It’s really nice to see someone who can deviate from that.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Robert said with a smile.
“You know, we talked a lot about what you expect from your pack’s treatment of omegas, but I don’t think I ever asked what your personal views are. Can I ask that?”
Robert paused and looked over at him and quirked an eyebrow. “I mean, yeah. Sure.” The alpha sighed softly and Aaron was suddenly somewhat afraid to hear the answer. “I think – okay, you have to hear me out though, okay?”
“Alright?” Aaron said, a little skeptical now.
“I don’t think omegas should be exactly equal with alphas.” A pause. Of course. Of course the one alpha who he could actually stand to be around was sexist. “But it’s just because I understand your – nature. As an heir of a pack, I was forced to take a lot of sex based classes all about alphas and betas and omegas and what makes us act, react, and behave the ways we do. So, I learned a lot about how easily omegas stress and how often they can drop and how much shorter their lifespans are if they’re forced into a stressful environment like the work force for their entire lives. I don’t think you should be cooped up at home all day or be expected to do things for your alpha, but I don’t think you should work more than say, twenty hours a week. So, that’s my personal look on it. I’m sorry if that bothers you.” Aaron sighed softly.
“I guess that makes a little sense.”
“What are your views then?”
“I – I don’t know. I haven’t taken the kinds of classes you have, I guess. But from experience I don’t think working creates that much stress. I have a few omega friends who made the decision to not work and they’re mostly just bored and lonely. I think we should just be able to decide.”
“That makes sense, too.”
They dropped the topic after that, but it still left a bit of a sick feeling in Aaron’ stomach. Robert was a good alpha, he was. Aaron wouldn’t deny that, but his views were so – they were so against the equality that he’d craved his entire life. But at the same time – he did it out of true caring and love for omegas as a species. So, he wasn’t sure what to think.
They ate together and watched another film before Aaron wound up back home. Eventually, the thoughts stopped swirling around in his head. He really liked Robert – because he was incredible and wonderful and made him happy in ways that no one else ever had, but he just didn’t know how or what to feel about this entire situation.
When he dreamt that night of having sex with Robert again and had to get himself off at three in the morning, he decided that he still liked the alpha.
Day Eight
Maybe it’s unexpected in the way that they haven’t discussed their business at all. Nick had gotten used to them wondering off and doing ‘business’ by themselves at this point. So, when they finally got their time alone each day, it just felt natural. But, it was a weekend now. Saturday night and Aaron was ready to ditch that persona that he was a never-casual business man who pushed papers all day and did nothing other than talk jargon. Maybe Robert knew that wasn’t all he did, but he hated that there was that chance that that was what Robert thought of him.
So when he found the alpha in the place they’d agreed to meet in, he basked with the thought of Robert oogling over his skin tight jeans and red shirt. (“Go with the red shirt, Aaron. He’ll fall for you immediately.” Pete had said. He’d listened, of course, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it would world. Well. He didn’t expect Robert to fall for him – but he expect some kind of show of attraction.)
He leaned back against the brick wall of the building by the little lake and stared off into the distance. The moon was out bright and full and he was happy. It was only just passed six, so they would be able to enjoy almost two hours of the night together – and maybe if Robert was willing they’d be able to spend a little more time together, too. It was just – Aaron was intruiged with the alpha. Maybe he had gone against his own morals and ended up falling for an alpha he barely knew, but he couldn’t help the desire to want to get to know him better. It took over all of his thoughts and made his head spin with the thought of getting closer with him.
He’d heard that this kind of immediate reaction was somewhat rare, but he wasn’t going to think much about it. Rather, he was just going to wait it out and see if Robert would make the first move. If the alpha decided to make the first move then he wasn’t sure if he’d deny it or not, though. He’d done just as much thinking about the consequences that would entail if he did fall for Robert. Would he have to leave his own pack? Would Robert’s pack accept him with open arms if he were to go join them, or would they consider him an outsider and never welcome him properly? Would be able to adjust to their differences even though there seemed to be so many? There were a few things like that that he had a tendency to over think – but for now, he was trying to just focus on that moment. If he stayed there in that moment and let himself enjoy the present without any worries of a future that might not even happen, he knew he could have a damn good time.
His eyes met Robert’s when the alpha arrived. He was just on time, perfectly punctual and arriving at exactly 6:05 as they’d plSarahd. Aaron loved that – loved a person who wasn’t late. It was something about the disrespect of tardiness that had actually turned him off from a few dates in the past. If a date was even just five minutes late, he’d leave. They weren’t worth his time if they weren’t going to respect his.
He couldn’t help but smile at the way Robert looked at him. Perhaps the alpha thought he was being sly, but Aaron could see the lust deep in his eyes as he stared over the tight material clinging to his skin and holding tight to the assets of his body that he liked to show off. “You look good.” Robert said softly.
“Thank you. You do, too.” Aaron said with a shy smile.
It wasn’t really a date, so to say, but it wasn’t a formality either. Perhaps they were just friends that were hanging out and letting themselves be free. Maybe Robert knew that nothing could ever happen between them because of their different packs and maybe Aaron knew that too, but he also knew that he was going to enjoy this night and there wasn’t going to be anything that was going to stop him from doing exactly that.
“We should go over there, just sit by the lake. I used to do that when I was little and let myself think, you know? It’s kind of… calming.” Robert’s smile was infectious. Those same dimples that had captivated him from day one were so prominent whenever he looked at the alpha that it was overwhelming sometimes. He wasn’t really sure what to make out of the fact that it felt like Robert was almost always smiling whenever he was looking at him.
“That sounds really nice, actually.” They walked, side by side, until they reached the shore of the lake where Aaron used to sit and they both let themselves relax against the warm spring air and let the calm float between them. “You know, you’re so different from any other omega I’ve ever met.”
“Hm? How so?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow at the over-used line. He wasn’t sure what it was about alphas that always seemed to want something unique – but he’d gotten used to asking what about him was so unique. It usually put his dates in their place and made them quiet down the cheesy lines. But Robert was still smiling and didn’t look like he didn’t have anything to say, so Aaron was intrigued.
“You’re so… captivating, really. I know this seems like something every alpha says, right? But you’re just – truly something I’ve never experienced before. You have this air to you that shows everyone how confident and sure and caring you are. And you’re so passionate about your work and you have this little high-pitched tone in your voice when something starts to make you somewhat angry and you get this little look in your eye when you talk about something you care deeply about and it’s so amazing to me. I want to know so much more about you because you really do interest me.” Aaron was stunned into silence. His mouth was open slightly and his face was hot under his blush, but he let it happen. There was no shame, he felt nothing bad about letting Robert talk him into a blush and his natural omega-like shyness.
“You amaze me, too, Robert Sugden.”
“Mm, how so?” Robert tossed back at him with a wink and Aaron rolled his eyes.
“I don’t know. You’re not a typical alpha. You don’t act like one – don’t act like you’re all that better than I am. You like – I don’t know. You have this understanding feeling about you and you just seem to make me feel safe when I’m around you instead of threatened like a lot of other alphas do. It’s hard to explain, I guess.”
“You’re sweet, Aaron. I appreciate that.” They’d gotten closer together since they first sat down and everything suddenly felt warmer. He could see Robert’s lips so much clearer, could see the way they seemed to soft and had a sudden desire to kiss the alpha. He wasn’t sure where this was coming from – he’d never really bonded with an alpha as well as he was doing with Robert and it was almost unnerving. But Robert made it feel alright, made it feel natural and normal to behave in the way he did.
It seemed like Robert could read his mind in that moment. The alpha leaned forward, a smile on his lips but movements hesitant, and pressed his lips softly against Aaron’. There weren’t sparks – no, Aaron didn’t have cheesy emotions like that – but he certainly wouldn’t deny that he felt a strong connection with Robert. He could smell him so much clearer at that distance, could take his scent and let it envelope him in that comfort that Robert always seemed to bring him.
“I know you’re not working right now, but can I explain what I said to you a few days ago? I know it hurt you, and I’ve been trying to think about ways to explain myself.”
“I… yeah, I guess.” Aaron says softly. He isn’t sure why Robert would want to bring up something negative and ruin their mood, but he decides to let it happen. He’ll let Robert take the night wherever he feels it needs to go.
“When I said I wanted omegas to be homely creatures, it wasn’t because I think you’re inferior. I really, truly hope you know that. I know in your pack, you have that decision, right? You can choose if you want to pursue a career or if you want to stay home and care for a family or just stay home and enjoy life.”
“Yeah.” Aaron says softly, hesitation in his voice. He already isn’t sure if he likes where this is going, but he’s decided to listen already, and he doesn’t want to change it. He might as well hear what the alpha has to say.
“I want that because I want to keep my future omega safe. I want them to feel taken care of, protected, loved, cherished. I certainly wouldn’t want someone I love, whose entire nature goes against the idea of being stressed out and working conditions that could separate them from their alpha. I’d want any omega I loved and cared for so much to call my life-mate to be comfortable all the time – to never have to worry about money. Not because they’re incapable, but because they shouldn’t have to stress about things like that. I’d want every omega, not even just mine, to be able to go with their true nature and be able to have a stress free life where they can be happy.” Robert pauses. He’s staring out at the moonlight reflecting off of the lake now. “I respect that you can enjoy your job, Aaron. Of course I do. I think it’s incredible that you can do it without an alpha there to take care of you, because I’ve seen working-class omegas in packs across England fall into omega-space and die because of the stress placed upon them from their daily lives. And that’s something I’d never want to see. From my omega, or from anyone’s.” Aaron is smiling, then, and lets himself think over the words that the alpha said. He hadn’t really had a chance to let Robert explain his views before, because he’d left so quickly after that.
But now it made sense. He knew it was somewhere deep within an alpha’s nature to want to take care of their omegas and any omega and keep them safe and protected, but he hadn’t realized exactly how deep it went. He could see the compassion in Robert’s eyes when he spoke and it made his stomach turn with a deep care that he hadn’t had for anyone in a long time.
“I think… I think that’s a really incredible way to look at it, Robert. I hadn’t ever really thought of that.” He exhales softly. It’s in a brash, sudden decision, then, to lay his head against the alpha’s shoulder. It’s an intimate gesture, something that omegas are known to only do when they’re accepting an alpha’s court, but he isn’t sure what he really means by it.
He doesn’t think Robert has been courting him, but maybe his instincts are telling him something different.
“Aaron?” Robert asks.
“Hm?”
“You know… I really do care about you. Over the last week I’ve – I’m not sure. I formed this connection with you that I don’t think I’ve ever had with anyone else in my life. And it’s insane, I think, because we haven’t known each other long at all. But would you – like, would you want to maybe try and go out some time?”
“That was an awfully long winded way of asking me out, Robert.” They both laughed softly, but Aaron was smiling, especially when he said, “I’d really like that, though. I would.”
So they spent the next hour sitting there, letting the conversations flow naturally between each other. They laughed and joked and talked about serious things and eventually, they’d managed to just lay back and lie on the ground.
Aaron had his head on Robert’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as the alpha ran his fingers through his hair. It was comforting, beyond anything he’d ever felt before. Robert was telling a steady stream of stupid jokes that Aaron found endearing, and he couldn’t help the happiness that was blooming in his chest.
Maybe he could be happy with Robert one day.
“Lets see… how do fish get high?”
“How?”
“Seaweed!”
Aaron stops, suddenly, mid-laugh, when he feels it. It’s that achingly-familiar ache in his stomach that he knows will soon set him off against Robert. He – can’t. Robert has this concerned look on his face and Aaron knows he needs to leave now – before he can’t think of actual words or motions or anything besides that urgent desire to be knotted.
“Robert, listen.” He says softly, and the concerned look on the alpha’s face deepens. “I really – I need to go. I’m so sorry.” He says and stands, gets up so fast stars dance across his vision and takes off. He’s grateful for the sense of direction he still has, but he knows it won’t last long. One of the worst side effects of being on suppressants is the speed that a heat really does hit when it comes. There’s nearly no warning, none of the typical build up of sensation in his stomach that he would get if he didn’t suppress his heats.
Instead, he gets a tight wound up feeling in his stomach and within ten minutes he can barely walk. It’s something he could probably prevent if he had better suppressants, but anything like that was much too expensive and really, just not worth it. He normally was ready for his sudden-heats when they came. His came every third month, but he assumed being around the new alpha who he was actually somewhat attracted to had a reaction with his body and set it off early.
So. In short, he’s fucked.
“Aaron – did I do something wrong?” Robert asks, coming up behind him and gently grabs his wrist. That’s all it takes – just a simple touch and Aaron is set off. He crumples to the ground and buries his head in the crevice between his thighs, pulls himself into a ball and tries to breathe. The heat is overwhelming, it starts in his stomach and builds up to set each and every one of his nerves on fire until he feels like he’s about to burst into flames.
Finally, Robert seems to get the point.
“Oh, shit.” The alpha says softly. “Okay, okay. I’m gonna take you home, alright? It’s okay. You’re okay.” Aaron nods; he’s still coherent enough to know that Robert is speaking to him and he’s still able to understand words, but it won’t last long.
“Please just – call my mum. She’s – in my phone. She’ll tell you how to get to my house.” He grits his teeth as Robert scoops him up from the ground into his arms. He can’t tell if it’s intentional in the way that Robert positions him with his nose pressed against the spot of his neck where his scent is the strongest or not, but either way he’s grateful. It calms his body down enough to at least slow his heart rate down, helps him feel his fingers and get over that initial panic he has through every heat when his body realizes there won’t be an alpha there to take care of him.
It’s rather unfortunate, because he knows he’ll hate himself for taking advantage of this moment within a few days, but he decides to do exactly that: take advantage of this moment. He’s certain this is the closest he’ll get to anything intimate with this otherworldly alpha, so he decides there’s nothing wrong with this.
He isn’t sure how much time passes between the walk from there to his house, and he can hear Robert talking on the phone with his mother, and he can hear her voice through the line, too, but he doesn’t pay attention. Instead, he closes his eyes and tries not to focus on the burning sensation taking over his body. He doesn’t want to focus on that – doesn’t want to think about the onset of his heat because then he’ll only get more and more desperate for Robert. That would really only lead to disaster in the end.
When they do reach his house, he’s on the edge of begging Robert to help him, but he bites his tongue. The alpha hasn’t said a word to him the entire time, but he can feel the tense stature in the way he holds himself. As the walk had gone on, he could feel the way it got harder for Robert to control himself, could feel the way his breathing went from normal to slightly more labored.
What he didn’t know, though, was how empty he would feel when he was handed off to his father when he got to his house. Being separated from the comforting feeling of being surrounded by an alpha was almost devastating to his body and mind alike, and he flinched when he heard Robert’s growl in response to the instinctual whine that came from the back of his throat.
He was slowly slipping into that place of heat that made him unaware. It wouldn’t last long, just the first few hours as his body adjusted to the feeling, but he was ready for it. Now that he was safe at home and away from the public eye and the embarrassment of looking weak in front of Robert, he was ready to let himself fall into that place where nothing mattered.
So he did.
As he was laid out on his own bed and heard the door click shut, he let his eyes fall shut and let the darkness take over and fell into that comforting place where there was just nothing.
But, it was just his luck that Robert would be there when he woke up. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times before he tensed up. “Oh, God.” He said softly, his body immediately reacting to an alpha being so close to him. “You – you’re – Robert please. You can’t – be here right now.” He says through gritted teeth, his body denying the words. But Robert is just looking at him with that same worried look as before.
“It’s okay, Aaron. I’m not going to touch you unless you want me to. I just – wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Aaron can see how dilated his pupils are, can see how hard the alpha is through his pants, but he was only here for his wellbeing. He can’t even put it into words how grateful he is that Robert is willing to wait for his permission. Something about that makes him preen, makes him want to stay and let Robert help him and bond him and keep him. But he can’t. He can’t – can’t.
He feels like he’s going to throw up, but he takes deep breathes and hopes that the feeling will go away. It’s just the pain that he’s used to having when his body knows he isn’t going to let him have an alpha help him through it.
Suddenly, there are tears falling from his eyes and Robert wipes them away gently and runs his fingers through his hair.
That made his inner omega swell with happiness, made him want to submit immediately. But he couldn’t. He didn’t really want to show this side of himself to Robert at all. The comments from before were ringing through his head all over again – if you were my omega I don’t think I’d want you out like this.
It doesn’t matter that they’ve already had sex. It doesn’t matter because this is heat and this is what makes him look his weakest. He doesn’t like to look weak and Robert’s words from before ring in his head and he can’t handle it anymore. Being reduced to just an omega makes him feel sick. It’s the very, very last thing he’s ever wanted in his life and maybe that’s why he’d never felt safe letting himself open up to an alpha before. He whines low in his throat, an instinctual reaction to feeling weak and unsure and Robert immediately pulls away. He can see the strain the alpha is putting on himself – how he has to calculate every single move to not touch Aaron – but he doesn’t let himself think about it.
He can’t just let himself be reduced to this weak, heat driven omega. It’s too late, really, to redeem himself. But he refuses to make it worse. “Please,” He says through a sob – “Just leave.” Robert nods and stands.
“Just make sure you drink some water, I left you some. And I’ll – bring you food, too, if you want?” Aaron closes his eyes and nods. Then he hears the door close and only then does he let out the real sob he’d been holding back. It went against everything in his nature to resist an alpha who was willing to help him and who he really, somewhat, wanted to help him. But he couldn’t – he just couldn’t let himself be seen like that.
The heat under his skin was getting overwhelming – as it always did when he first woke up from his initial dip into omega-space, so he kicked off his trousers and pants, threw them across the room, and wrapped a hand around his cock. It was four quick, dry strokes that brought him to his first orgasm – and the dust settled a bit.
He felt like he could breathe, even if just slightly more. The smell of Robert was still all over his room, all over his shirt, all over him and he couldn’t – he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the alpha as he brought himself over that edge another time.
This wasn’t his first heat – and he certainly wasn’t new to it. He’d been getting them since he was fifteen, and when he was seventeen he’d gone on the suppressants that made him get them only a third of the time he should have. Four years he’d been going through this and he’d never needed an alpha to get through them before, so he knew he could do it again.
He reached under his bed and pulled out the box labeled heat kit and tossed the top off. He grabbed his lube and his vibrator, then tossed the box to the side. There were a few of the emergency blockers in there, but he really didn’t constitute this little situation as an emergency – didn’t feel like his heat was something that needed to be stopped just because he had been in front of Robert - so he let those go toppling along with the box.
He stroked himself off slowly this time, with a palm full of lube and let himself take the chance to enjoy it. The first day was usually his most cognizant day, the only time he could really appreciate the pleasure that heat brought him. It would be different if he had an alpha – he’d be more aware each time he got a real knot, but for now this would just have to do.
If he moaned out Robert’s name every time he came for the rest of the three days he was heat stricken and incapable of thinking of anything but sex, well, it wasn’t really anyone’s business.
When he finally walked down to his living room after his three days of unexpected absence, the very last people he expected to see sitting together were his parents and Robert. Robert didn’t seem very happy, either.
He stared down at the alpha as he hesitantly went down the steps. “Hey, Aaron.” His mum said with a gentle smile. He loved her in the way she didn’t let things be awkward after anything happened. He’d experienced heats before where his father had been the only one home when he went downstairs afterwards and it had just been eerily silent. His mother always seemed to strike up a conversation. It made him feel welcome, like he was still a part of the family even though he’d just been fucking himself for the last few days.
He could only imagine what his dad thought about that.
Maybe it wasn’t too terrible since his mum was an omega, too. But he could imagine.
“Hey, mum. Hey dad, Robert.” He grabbed a piece of cinnamon toast and popped it into the toaster and leaned against the counter as he waited for it to heat up and come back out. It was a bit of a ritual. Perhaps a stupid ritual that had no purpose, but he’d always eat cinnamon toast when he was done with his heat. Every time, every single heat since he was fifteen had ended with two slices of cinnamon toast.
He joined the three of them at the table after a moment. Robert still didn’t look particularly happy and it made him feel somewhat sick to his stomach. Of course he knew it was just the oversensitivity he’d have for the next day or so while he was recovering from his heat, but, it still hurt nonetheless.
“We set up a bit of a date night down at Frosty’s for you and Robert.” His mum said with a smile, squeezing his hand gently. It was incredibly rare for his mother to approve of an alpha, so he assumed she was just trying to convey that – trying to say that she approved without having to say that outloud. “If you’d like, of course. If you’re still too sensitive or whatnot, it’s fine, love.”
“Um.” He says softly. “Sure. I’ll um – I guess I can go get ready.” He says softly, already breathless. Robert’s eyes meet his for the first time directly since he’d come downstairs and he can see two things: the first, his pupils are still blown wide which makes his entire body scream at him to submit. The second, his face seems more emotionless now than angry. He can’t tell which is worse, but he goes upstairs anyway and pulls on some decent date clothes.
They’re walking when Robert comes to a stop and sighs. “Aaron.” He says softly and the omega can’t help the whimper that comes from his throat in response to his tone. It’s humiliating, and his eyes widen. Robert doesn’t react, though. Just stands and lets Aaron stop walking right beside him. “When were you going to tell me? Were you even planning to tell me? Were you just going to keep letting me think you’re someone you’re not? What – what even was this whole thing? Was any of this real? Did I waste my time?” Aaron blinks a few times and takes a deep breath. Maybe he knew this was coming all along, but he didn’t want to face it. “I got a call from Finn Barton this morning. You know, the real pack relations coordinator. He apologized that his assistant had to take his place and fill me up to speed over the things he and I would be discussing when he returned tomorrow morning.” Robert seemed beyond angry and Aaron wanted to run away. “What? I don’t – I don’t understand. Why would you lie? You – what else is a lie, Aaron? What else am I missing here? What else is a lie?”
“Robert – “
“No, don’t speak until I’m done, omega.” Aaron whimpers again, that dammned instinctual reaction. Robert’s pupils are flared again, blown wide and covering almost all the green in his irises. “I thought – you know I really, genuinely thought I was going to fall for you. I saw that potential that I could want something with you in the future – I cared enough about you to practically torture myself and sit there with you, a docile omega in heat and wait. To make sure you were okay.” The alpha swallows hard. “So, here’s your chance. Explain yourself. I don’t think we’ll ever recover from this, because I’m going to go back to my pack and forget about you, Aaron. That’s the truth. I don’t think I could trust you enough to let anything flourish from this anymore.” Aaron isn’t sure why he’s crying, but he can’t help it.
“I didn’t – I didn’t mean to lie.” He sniffles. “I was just – I wanted to be taken seriously, Robert. I’m always second guessed, always put aside and listened to second behind an alpha because any alpha’s ideas are better than an omega’s, right?” He swallows and wipes the tears away from his face with his sleeve. “It just – I was given this job by Finn – and I did it. But then I realized how great of a person you are and I realized that you had this – this respect for me that I assumed you wouldn’t have if you didn’t think I was in a position of power and I –“ He stops himself. “I know I messed everything up, and I’m so sorry. But please, please know that the only thing I lied about was my job. Everything else, all my feelings, everything else was entirely me.” He takes a deep breath and looks at Robert. The alpha doesn’t look at him and Aaron is almost certain he can feel his heart breaking.
“I wish I believed you.” Robert says softly. “But I don’t. I’m sorry I made you think this was really going to be a date night, but I just wanted to ask you these questions away from your parents. I’ll walk you home to make sure you get there safely, but after that, Finn will be finishing my case. I don’t expect to see you again.” Aaron doesn’t let himself cry, doesn’t respond to the alpha. He just stares at the ground and tries to keep his emotions at bay. All he has to do is keep them contained for the next five minutes, enough to get him home and away from Robert so he can show his emotions without looking like a mess.
So as soon as he closes the door behind him when Robert walks away, he lets himself cry. It’s not even crying – it’s heavy, deep sobs that he can’t even pinpoint the cause of. Maybe it’s the pain of the rejection, or maybe it’s the fact that he saw a future with Robert, too, but he’d ruined that.
When his mother comes over and picks him up and speaks to him but he can’t hear it, he doesn’t think much of it. Instead, he lets himself go to sleep. Something in his head is screaming to sleep, to let go and relieve himself of this stress, so he gives in.
He can hear the worried words coming from his parents, but he doesn’t think about that. He lets the calm in his head take him and lets the darkness come without complaint.
It’s the kind of drop he’s never experienced before, but it’s not as scary as he thought it would have been. A true omega drop can only be caused by stress and usually only relieved by an alpha, but he doesn’t think about that, either.
Day Nine
Sometime during his drop, he dreamt.
It was a happier dream, a memory more or less, from when he didn’t let his secondary gender define him or his actions or his thoughts. Those were the days that often revisited him in his dreams. Perhaps it wasn’t that the society around him mocked his gender or what he was, but he liked to go back to the days when he didn’t. When he didn’t torture himself day on end and worry about what others were thinking when it was so unnecessary to worry about. The days where he worried about things that were so simple, like what he wanted for dinner.
In his dream, he was younger, sometime in the early years of his secondary school when he was still surrounded by his friends who hadn’t presented yet. Almost everyone knew, really, what they would present as, but it didn’t bother them. There was always the fluke chance that someone would present as what they didn’t expect, which could have been a good reason that none of them worried about it back then. He and Pete had known they’d be omegas. Some of their friends knew they were going to be alphas, one of them even knew she was going to be a beta. It wasn’t uncommon, then, for people to be able to spend time together without even having to question it. Aaron had based it off of the fact that he was smaller than almost everyone, that he had a nice arse, and that he had more of the feminine, curvy features. So, he’d known.
So, letting that transfer into his adult life didn’t feel like a problem.
He didn’t want to admit that it could be a problem, really. So within his happy dream of a time when he wasn’t embarrassed by his body or the thoughts that people wouldn’t listen to him because he’s an omega, he let himself drift away.
But eventually, he was pulled back.
He could feel the touches against his back, gentle circles rubbed through his shirt. There were words being whispered in his ear, too, but he couldn’t really make them out. A familiar, calming scent surrounded him and he felt like it was safe enough to bring himself back up. Something inside of his head decided that, at least.
So, slowly, he let the consciousness flow back into him and let the awareness follow.
Aaron wasn’t sure how long it was until his eyes finally opened. He was with Robert – and the alpha seemed concerned all over again. His mum and dad were standing beside the bed, and he hadn’t realized he was on Robert’s lap until that moment.
Everyone just looked at him, as if waiting to see if he was there enough to speak to. He wasn’t entirely sure what they all seemed to concerned about – since he was awake now – but he’d ask about that later. Maybe something had happened. How long had he been down?
“Robert.” He heard himself say. It wasn’t what he’d intended to say, but it was enough. It was enough to say both what he was really thinking and to prove to the people around him that he was there. It felt – it felt stupid that he’d grown so attached to the alpha in such a short amount of time. He’d never believed in soulbonds before this – never believed in a connection that could run as deep as he felt with Robert when he didn’t know someone very well. But Robert seemed to break all of his boundaries, to tear all of the walls he’d built up down. It was strange mostly because Aaron didn’t even feel the need to guard himself from it.
Even though Robert had forced his body to go through a rejection, he still didn’t feel the need to guard himself. It felt – it almost felt freeing.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Robert said softly, and he seemed genuine enough that Aaron let himself calm down enough to believe him. Of course he was still slightly tense from the lead up to his drop, from the argument he’d had with Robert that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to forget for a long time. He felt terrible about it. Lying to someone was wrong enough, but lying to the one alpha he’d managed to create a strong connection with? It was heart breaking. “We can talk later, I’m so sorry. I didn’t – I didn’t mean to drop you like that. I’m so sorry.” Aaron wasn’t really sure what to say, so he just nodded and slowly moved himself from Robert’s lap.
Perhaps the distance was better. He had been rejected afterall. If Robert was just trying to bring him back with his scent, he didn’t want the alpha to feel obligated to keep him there.
“What happened? How long was I down?”
“You were out for – the entire night. We couldn’t wake you up or get any reaction from you, so I called Finn this morning and told him you wouldn’t be able to come into work –“ His mum said softly, the frown obvious on her face from the worry. He hated that he’d worried her and hated even more than he couldn’t even remember everything that had happened from the time he’d left Robert and he’d dropped.
“And then Finn called me, because he was going to come here and bring you up, and I said I needed to come here and fix what I did.” Robert finished, and Aaron just nodded. He tried not to flinch at the practical growl in Robert’s voice at his mention of Finn coming here and helping him. The possessive behavior made his stomach twist with – something. Affection, perhaps. But he didn’t want to let himself feel that anymore. He had to remember he’d been rejected. It was – uncomfortable. He wasn’t entirely sure what any of this meant or what any of this was going to mean.
So he decided that figuring that out would be the first step to feeling better.
“Can Robert and I talk alone for a minute please?” He asked to his parents and smiled when they nodded and left the room. He appreciated that they were so understanding with the things that he needed, even if he could see in their faces how they were still somewhat uncomfortable with the thought of leaving their only son in a room with an alpha alone.
The door closed and the silence was thick in the room. Robert looked over at him and clasped his hands together in his lap.
“I really am sorry. I was angry and – I guess I didn’t even think about what could have happened with what I did. I should have, and it was irresponsible that I didn’t. I’m really glad you’re okay, though.”
“I’m still – I’m really sorry I lied to you, Robert. I know what I did was wrong and I should have been truthful, but I really hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me. I know I ruined – a lot. Probably everything that could have happened between us, but that’s okay. I just want you to know I didn’t ever mean anything negative when I lied – I never meant to make it seem like I was someone I’m not.” Aaron’ words were slow and drawn out, since his head hadn’t entirely recovered from his drop, but from the expression on Robert’s face, he seemed to have conveyed everything he felt he needed to. “I think ‘m sleeping again.” Was the only thing he could really get out of his mouth before he felt himself going weak again.
It wasn’t dropping. This wasn’t the same feeling, but maybe it was just the mental exhaustion that came with the drop that he was going through in that moment.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He heard Robert say.
He slept soundly, the thoughts of Robert saying that to him more often suddenly taking over his dreams.
Day Ten
Robert was there, as promised, and he had an unreadable look on his face when his gaze finally met Aaron’. “I’m sorry.” Aaron chokes out after a moment and Robert’s face softens. “I’m so sorry I lied to you, and I know I should have told you.” He’d said it all the night before, but it all feels Roberty and unsure. He can’t remember everything that he’d said to Robert, so he feels the need to say it all over again. He’s sure that he’s ruined everything, though, and he knows that Robert will move on and make a life that doesn’t include him in it. He’s messed up that chance, but he doesn’t want that to mean he can’t apologize. He may have destroyed all the trust between the two of them, but that doesn’t mean he has to destroy his last sense of dignity as well.
“Aaron, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you did and … I understand. It doesn’t make everything okay, because it does hurt that you felt that you had to lie to me to make me like you, but I do understand. I understand that you thought I wouldn’t listen to you and honestly, you’re probably right. I probably would have been much more of an asshole to you if I wouldn’t have thought you had some influence at first. So I understand. I just wish you would have told me the truth somewhere along the line. You know, after I already knew how great you were and when we were telling our life stories and when we told each other a lot of things. Why didn’t you tell me the truth about that?”
“Honestly, I just… I forgot. I wasn’t really thinking about it. I wasn’t thinking about how I needed to lie to you to make you respect me anymore, I was just thinking about how much fun I was having since I was with you. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I’m sorry.” Robert moves to sit on the bed with him and puts an arm around his shoulders. Aaron isn’t sure why that makes him feel so good, but it grounds him. It makes him feel like everything is going to be all right again and his anxiety diminishes.
“I care about you a lot, Aaron. I’ve been talking to your parents a little bit, too, and they said that nothing else you said was a lie. Is that true? Was that truly the only thing you lied about?”
“Truly, Robert. I have nothing else in my life I’d ever need to lie to you about. The only dishonest thing I said was that I had Finn’s job. I mean… I do help with that job… I’m just an assistant, though.”
“I’m not going to just leave you and pretend we haven’t had this incredible connection, so please don’t think that, but I think we will need to work a little bit on building that trust back up. But I like you a lot and like I said I feel like we have this intense connection that I’ve never felt with anyone else before, so I don’t want to waste that because of one mistake, yeah?”
“Thank you so much, Robert. You’re right. I feel that connection too. I’ve never felt like this with anyone else and I was so scared I was going to lose that feeling because I never want it to stop. I feel closer to you than I’ve felt with a lot of people.”
“I always thought that soulmating was just a myth, but you know you really make me doubt that. You’re something else, Aaron.” Aaron smiles and climbs into Robert’s lap. His head is still foggy and unsure from his drop, but he knows what he’s doing in that moment. He lets his head rest against Robert’s shoulder and breathes in his scent once again.
“So do you still want me?”
“Of course, Aaron. I forgive you.”
“Thank you so much.” They sat there together for a long time and Aaron felt comfortable again. He’d been so worried that Robert was just going to reject him – to send him off and make him remember the awful thing he’d done – but he was beyond happy he wasn’t going to. There was something in his nature that was just beyond satisfying about feeling accepted and cared about by an alpha. He assumed it was just another thing about being omega – even if he wouldn’t admit it willingly, having that role of an alpha in his life made him feel more settled and calm.
He’d been expecting the call, but getting it still made his heart beat fast with the shame and embarrassment he’d been hoping to avoid. Seeing Finn’s name appear on his phone screen made him feel somewhat sick, but he knew he was going to have to grow up and answer it like a functioning adult. “Hello?” He asked, voice small. He really, really didn’t want to get yelled at by Finn. That was one of the worst experiences he could describe, just because the alpha never really seemed genuinely angry, just disappointed. It was wired in his nature to feel even worse when an alpha was disappointed in him.
“Aaron.” He could hear it. He could hear the scolding he was about to get and it made him nervous. “I need you to tell me what happened when I was gone.” Aaron took a deep breath and chewed on his lip just for a moment before he could explain.
“Well, when I met R- Alpha Sugden and Mr.Grimshaw, Alpha Sugden was very … hesitant to meet with me and work with me and didn’t really want anything to do with it.” He looked at Robert when he spoke. The alpha had a look on his face he couldn’t quite read, but he wasn’t going to worry about that. “So… When I went back the next day, I took a different approach. I asked him if it would make him a little more comfortable to go outside of a professional setting and just walk around and maybe go out to eat a little when we were speaking. He agreed to that and I figured it was better to be a little unprofessional instead of not getting the job you asked me to do done… So… Yeah.”
“Then?”
“We um, we kind of hit it off a little, I guess? We spent a little more time together than necessary for the job… but I swear I didn’t clock in when I wasn’t working!”
“Aaron, you know I’m not asking about that. Tell me what you did and tell me why there are newspapers of you and my client paloozing around a pack you had no business being at!” Aaron flinched as Finn raised his voice on certain words and frowned. He wasn’t sure why he’d been expecting to get scolded about lying about who he was – but that was what he’d assumed. Instead, he was getting shit for that? For something he did on his freetime? It wasn’t even in the papers for their pack – for Robert’s perhaps – but not theirs.
“I went with him on my day off.” He deadpSarahd. “I had your case finished, and I always take Thursdays off. So we went out together, spent a little time together. Like I said, we hit it off.” He was trying so hard not to say something rude to his boss – but he wouldn’t be able to stop it for long.
“Aaron, I don’t care what you do with your days off. That’s not what this is about. What this is about is the fact that we are the relations coordinators, we can’t be seen with our clients! I thought you were smarter than that, Aaron!”
“You know what –“ Aaron’ resolve broke. “I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not the pack relations coordinator. I’m your assistant. You entrusted me with a job that I did. That I did very well and completed in less time than you even anticipated. No one in the pack considers me the PR. That’s your job. So unless there’s something else, I don’t see the problem here?”
“There’s one more thing.” Finn said after that. “You’re to come clear your desk by the end of the work day tonight. I won’t tolerate that kind of disrespect.” Aaron saw it coming. Of course he did. He’d never once been so disrespectful to any alpha – and he knew that alphas took their pride seriously. So when Finn said it and then hung up his phone immediately, he didn’t feel any kind of remorse or regret. He just felt… nothing. There was no emotion there. Other than the fact that he really would miss his job and miss having some kind of extra money to spend on himself sometimes. But it didn’t matter all that much.
“That was kind of harsh.” Robert said softly and Aaron just shrugged.
“Can I just…” He wasn’t sure how to say it, how to even word what he wanted but Robert seemed to understand, and for that he was beyond grateful. He loved that Robert could understand the things that he wasn’t sure how to say. He’d always thought that that was a good trait in a mate, just because they were more compatible. If a mate could understand what he was saying when he didn’t know how to say it, it meant that had some kind of good chemistry, some kind of connection there that went deeper than he’d thought.
“Of course, love.” Robert said and sat up, so Aaron crawled into his lap and let Robert put his arms around him. It felt good – he felt safe. Finally, then, he let himself feel the shame that he’d felt as Finn had scolded him, but it was okay. He knew he wasn’t going to shut down or get too upset since he was there to have Robert’s scent calm him down. He’d done that a lot in his life, pushed emotions away since he was afraid to feel them or too afraid to drop to let himself properly feel anything.
“You’re alright, love. It’s okay. Everything’s okay.” Robert said softly and rubbed his hand in circles around his back. Aaron nodded, but he still held on to Robert to make sure he really was okay, to make sure he was really grounded and safe.
“I’m sorry.” He says softly but Robert shushes him quietly.
“Don’t apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with letting yourself feel.”
“I just – I was making something of myself, I was doing something important and now – now I’m unemployed and I have no place.” He sniffled and took a breath.
“Hey, no. Don’t you say that. I know you hate when I say it, and I’m sorry, but you are not obligated to work. In my eyes, you have that choice and you shouldn’t base your worth off of whether or not you work. You should base your worth on how kind you are, or how much you care for others, your morals, your family values, your bright prospects for the future.” Aaron let it set in for a moment, let Robert’s words calm him and make him feel better. Maybe the alpha was right. Maybe it wasn’t wrong to let his nature take over sometimes – maybe there was nothing shameful about it. He didn’t choose what his secondary gender was to be, so he didn’t deserve to be ashamed of it. If it made him sensitive and made him need things some others didn’t need – well – there was no reason to really be ashamed of that, was there?
“I love you.” He said softly and Robert kept his fingers threading through his hair. He tensed when he realized what he said – the shame suddenly building back up in his stomach. He’d royally fucked up now, hadn’t he? Admitted he loved someone when he’d barely even known him. He’d known Robert for ten fucking days and he really, really did love him – call it a fluke of fate or biology or whatever – but he did. That, however, did not mean he wanted to say it out loud. “I’m –“ Aaron said, the panic obvious in his voice. Robert didn’t tense or say anything bad or even say anything at all, though, and it made the panic worse. “I didn’t mean to say that. I’m so sorry.”
“Do you really?” Robert asked instead of criticizing him. Aaron swallowed hard.
“Yes. I just – I don’t know. You’re the only alpha I’ve ever been able to really trust and something about you is just – I don’t know. I do, though.”
“You know my grandmother always used to tell me stories about true mates or soul mates and things like that. I think I knew, from that first day I saw you. Our scents matched in a way that I knew only a true mate’s could and – I don’t know. I feel it too, though. I love you, too.” Aaron felt like there was a massive weight lifted off of his chest – like he could breathe again and everything was fine. He wanted to stay there and kiss Robert and let him profess his love in every way for the rest of their lives, but he knew there were other things he had to do instead of that.
“Is it weird? Since we’ve known each other for such a short time?”
“I don’t think so, no. I’ve always believed in true mates and I think that it’s natural for our kind to fall in love quick and hard.” Aaron smiled and held on to Robert tighter for a moment. “You really do amaze me. I can see a future with you, Aaron. I can see you being my mate and carrying my pups one day and I really can see something with you. You’re right when you say it’s a bit soon to think things like that – but you’re the only omega who’s ever made me feel the way you do and I think that’s incredible.”
“You’re the only alpha that’s ever made me feel safe. Everyone else makes me nervous. But you – you make me feel safe and cared for and I really can’t tell you how much that means to me because I always feared that I would always be alone because of that. My best friend told me that he thinks it’s fate how we met and got together – how my boss’ omega went into heat the same day he was meant to meet with you and how I was in the perfect right place in the perfect right time to be able to meet you and spend time with you in the way I probably wouldn’t have been able to had all of those events that led up to this not happened. I think that’s the only reason I’m actually comfortable with this short time thing – because this had to be some kind of true-mate fate thing, right?”
“I think so, love.” Aaron smiled and let the silence take over after that. He kept his head on Robert’s shoulder, kept scenting him and keeping him close. Eventually his mom walks in and smiles when she sees how close they are once again and he just smiled back at her.
“Glad to see you two are all right again.” She says softly. “There’s lunch downstairs if you’d like?” It’s not really an offer – Aaron knows she’d get on his case if he ever said he didn’t want to eat, so he just nodded.
“We’ll be down in a minute.” Aaron says and his mother takes that as her dismissal and leaves, but she leaves the door open behind her. Aaron crawls out of Robert’s lap, then, and stands and stretches.
“Do you want me to go down to your office with you when you have to collect your things?”
“No, I think I’ll be okay. I assume Finn will want to talk to me again, so I should probably go alone. You being there would probably only fuel his anger further. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know we’re actually … romantically involved. He’s just mad that I was even caught spending time with you.”
“I guess you’re right. Come back to the cabin when you’re done though?”
“Sure. Are you leaving tonight?”
“In the morning.” Aaron frowned. “But I’ll come see you as often as I can, yeah? We can always text and call and anything you need. If you ever really need me, I’ll get here as fast as I can.”
“When’s your rut?” He asked and the embarrassment set back in. He was always too bold – always asked questions that were beyond his bounds and unnecessary for him to ask. None of his business. Robert seemed to notice this and chuckled.
“It’s next month. Would you like to spend it with me? You can say no.”
“Yeah. I would.”
“Okay then, love. I’ll plan to come pick you up the day before.”
“Okay.” Robert kissed him again and they went downstairs, hand in hand, and everything felt like it was okay.
He went to his old office after lunch. He changed into something a little less than business casual, to make sure it didn’t look like he was as somewhat miserable as he was, and strolled in there with as much confidence as he could muster. Finn was sat at his desk in his office and Aaron went straight to his desk, unfolded the box that was tucked under his and started placing his things inside of it. The only things he really had were sticky notes, two photo frames, and a few little nick-nacks. His favorite was his frog stapler, the mouth being the part that made the staple, and then his cat sticky note dispenser.
“I really don’t understand this, Aaron.” Finn said out of nowhere, making the omega jump. He turned to the alpha.
“I’m sorry I was so disrespectful to you earlier, perhaps I could have said what I needed to say more… professionally. But, I don’t think it’s fair that you should be able to or even think you should have the right to limit what I can and cannot do? When you become the pack alpha, I’ll respect those wishes entirely, but there is really no grounds for you to say I can’t be seen outside with Robert.” Finn’s eyebrows shot up.
“You’re on a first name basis with this alpha?”
“Well –“ He paused for a moment and took the box into his arms, both to serve as a signal that he wanted to leave and for something to do with his hands, “Yeah. He’s courting me.” Finn blinked a few times and suddenly his face went soft.
“God. Aaron, why didn’t you just – why didn’t you say that? Now it makes sense. You were uncharacteristically rude to me because he’s courting you. You’re attached to him, so you felt the need to defend yourself from being separated from him.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He bit his lip. “It was good to talk to you, Finn. I’m glad we cleared that up.” Finn gave a curt nod and Aaron went to walk out.
“If you ever want to work here again, I’d gladly have you back. Just. Sort this thing out first, alright?”
“Okay.” Aaron said with a smile. “Thank you. I’ll hold you to that.”
After
Robert leaves and Aaron feels – he feels empty. It’s odd and wrong and weird because he hasn’t known the alpha well enough yet to be so certain he’s in love but God he really is. He’s more in love than he’s ever been with anyone and his entire body aches with his absence as each of the days go on and he’s still alone.
Robert had warned him that he’d probably feel the effects of their separation after a few days and offered to leave a few of his jumpers, but Aaron had rolled his eyes and said he could handle the distance like a big boy. But – of fucking course Robert had been right. Robert always seemed to be right, especially when Aaron didn’t want him to be. But he’d give just about anything to be back beside the alpha and be able to cuddle with him again.
His room is cold and he wants Robert to come and hold him so he can warm up and he wants Robert there to make him feel less lonely and he wants Robert there period. But he is cold, so he walks over to his closet and digs through his pajama draws and – there’s one of Robert’s jumpers. Aaron almost cries. There’s a little note on top of it, scrawled in Robert’s beautiful handwriting.
Just in case xx – R
He pulls it on and crawls back in bed, cuddles up with one of his pillows and lets himself fall asleep with Robert’s jumper big and comfortable on his body.
He texts Robert a bit later, when he’s calmed down and he doesn’t feel the terrible effects of being separated from his alpha anymore.
[ Aaron – 2:07am ]
Thank you
[ Robert – 2:07am ]
Anything for you, love. Sleep now, it’s very late. x – R
[ Aaron – 2:08am ]
Call me in the morning?
He doesn’t get a response, or if he does he’s already asleep before it comes in, but when he wakes the next morning to Robert’s ringtone and talks on the phone with the alpha for three and a half hours, well, he feels more content than anything.
He and Pete spent a lot of time together in the time he was away from Robert. The other omega had started dating an alpha boy from their school – he was a year thirteen when they were year elevens – but Aaron was happy for him. Pete seemed head over heels for this new boy so he was going to support him the best he could. But. He was still miserable not having the alpha he cared so much about with him every moment of every day.
Maybe he was selfish. Or just lonely.
Whatever.
“You’re pouting again.” Pete said and pinched his nipple. Aaron screeched and Pete just laughed, but he knew he was right.
“I know. I’ve been pouty since he left. His jumpers are starting to smell a little bit less like him.”
“Well, aren’t you planning a visit to go see him in like, five days, babe?” He’d forgotten that it was getting so close. Five days! Suddenly, he was smiling again.
“Oh, you’re right! It is only five days. I feel better now.” The other omega rolled his eyes and sighed softly.
“I still really don’t think this is really healthy for you though, Aaron. I know you love him and I know how important he is to you, but it’s in our nature to want to be around our alphas at all times. You’re hurting yourself not being around him. You should really just ask Yaser if the two of you can bond already. I think it’s time.”
“We’ve only been together a month and a half, Ni. That’s not – that’s not enough time for the Alpha to allow us to bond. He’d think I was crazy.”
“He’s already going to think you’re crazy, Aaron. This hasn’t happened since his mate immigrated from another pack almost forty years ago.” Aaron sighed and smashed his face into a pillow. Pete was right, no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it. He’d have to ask eventually and he really had no idea if he was going to be accepted or denied. But he really didn’t even know if Robert wanted to bond with him or not. It was a scary thought – because Robert had said he loved him and he had said that he could see the same future Aaron could see for them, but that could have changed. Things always seemed to change in relationships – especially since Robert was so much closer to being the Alpha of his pack.
“I’ll figure it out.” Pete hummed his agreement and they wound up just watching a movie together, not leaving Aaron’ bed for the rest of the day. Maybe not having a job was boring sometimes – especially when he really just wanted to leave the house – but there were the moments when he didn’t mind so much.
[Robert – 3:10pm]
Are you almost ready? I’ll be there in 15. Can’t wait to see you x – R
[Aaron – 3:14pm ]
Always ready for you!! Can’t wait either xxxxxxx
It was the week that he’d been so excited for, finally, and he was going to get to spend Robert’s rut with him. Ruts were – in Aaron’ mind – so much better than heats. The alpha only lost their heads for a few moments, only had that desire to take and follow their instincts for an hour or so at a time, and then they’d come back and all would be well for at least a few hours longer. It made the sex more fun – made it sweeter and less urgent, Aaron thought. So he was so, so excited to spend this with Robert.
It only happened once every six months anyway, so, it was probably alright for him to be somewhat excited. He’d found out that having Robert’s complete attention on him at all times made him feel good and cared for. So of course when the alpha was in rut – that would be all he wanted.
There was a knock on his door and he shoved the last of his clothing into his bag and ran downstairs to answer it before his mum did. “Hi, Robert.” He said and the alpha pulled him into a tight hug.
“Hello, love.” Robert said and kissed him softly. Aaron hadn’t realized exactly how much he’d missed him until that moment – hadn’t realized exactly how wound up he’d been without having his alpha beside him at all times. Maybe that’s what Pete had been seeing and pointing out. But he felt his entire body relax when he was in Robert’s embrace again – finally – and everything felt like it was in place again. There’d been a few days when Robert was away that no matter what Aaron did, everything felt wrong and like something was missing. He’d known it was his body reacting to Robert’s absence, but he hadn’t realized how bad it had been.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too, babe. You ready to go?”
“Yeah. Think my mum wants to speak to you first, though.” He said with a laugh. He knew she was hiding out behind the corner and watching their little embrace with happy tears in her eyes. She liked Robert almost as much as Aaron did – at least like, in a son-in-law kind of way.
“Hello, Chas.” Robert said, his voice charming and smooth as ever as he pulled her into a hug when she came up to them.
“Hello, Robert.” She said with a soft smile. “It’s good to see you again. But I know you have to leave soon, so do you know when you’ll have Aaron back?”
“Most likely within a week. I know the rule is ten days, so it will certainly be before then.”
“Alright, love. Take care of him. And don’t get him pregnant.”
“Mum!” Aaron said, embarrassed. “I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”
“I know, loves. Now get outta here and be safe.” Robert and Aaron both nodded and then they were gone. The entire drive, they couldn’t stop touching each other, and eventually Aaron wound up laying over the seats and leaning his head on Robert’s thigh. It was innocent, and he liked it like that. He just missed touching Robert and being held and being near him at all – so he thought he deserved this much.
When they got back to Robert’s house, he was greeted by the family with open arms and plenty of hugs and we missed you’s from all of them. He wished he could come here more often, really. Of course he did – he wanted to bond Robert and be able to be with him all the time – but his desire was beyond that. He wanted to share everything with Robert, wanted to share even the most domestic and boring aspects of their lives like brushing their teeth in the morning and groaning when their alarms went off and making breakfast and tea and going to bed at night. He wanted everything with Robert.
Pups, one day.
He could see that. He could see having a few little ones running around this space – making it their own and decorating the refrigerator with their drawings and everything domestic and wonderful like that. He wanted it all.
By the next morning, Robert was in his rut. It started a bit more innocent than his heats ever did, just Robert being hard when he woke and little grunts coming from his mouth. Aaron didn’t wake him right away, just amazed by how attractive and beautiful his alpha looked like this.
He got up and went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and got ready for the day. He figured Robert wouldn’t care no matter what he looked like, but he still liked to look good for him, still liked to make sure he was at his best for his alpha.
When he returned to bed, Robert was still making little noises but he wasn’t awake just yet. “Robert.” He said softly and Robert stirred, groaned a bit and went to kiss Aaron. Aaron smiled and let him kiss him, let Robert come into his full level of consciousness before he tried to say anything.
“Look so pretty, Aaron. My omega.”
“Yours.” Aaron said with a smile as Robert peeled the omega’s clothing away from his body, but not even for a moment did his usual gentleness falter. He kissed and touched every part of Aaron’ body that had him gasping and arching into Robert’s touch.
They fucked twice, and then Robert was back. It went on like that for the entire week, Robert in and out of his rut and taking gentle care of Aaron inbetween each round. He always made sure he was fed well and clean and taken care of and Aaron realized that this – this was definitely the alpha he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
When he left, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind.
When he was home for three weeks without seeing Robert again – the loneliness would creep up but he would just remind himself that he and Robert were going to be forever. They just worked. They worked so well together that Aaron couldn’t even comprehend it sometimes. He loved Robert so much – loved how gentle his alpha was with him.
They saw each other about once a month after that, and before long it was getting cold and once a month turned into Aaron telling Robert to stay home because it wasn’t safe with the snow on the ground. Each time the alpha would laugh at him with fondness in his voice and say not to worry so much, but Aaron would still act surprised and pretend to be cross when the alpha would still show up anyway.
Robert was laying beside him – one of the rare days that the two of them could actually see each other in person. Robert was always so busy as he worked on becoming alpha – since his 25th birthday was quickly coming up. It was almost Aaron’ 20th birthday – as Christmas was slowly approaching – and the two of them were hoping to make plans to be able to spend the holiday together.
“So, you want to spend three days with me, and I spend three days with you?” Robert asked and Aaron nodded.
“Yeah. I think we should both see our families, and that way I can see a little more of your family since I don’t get to see them very often, and my mother can continue to gush over you.” Aaron said with a smile. He’d always thought it was funny how much his mother loved Robert.
It was a week later when Aaron was kissing his mum goodbye for a few days with the promise that he’d be back in three days. He’d be back on his birthday – the day before Christmas – so she could spend that with him. She hugged him too-tightly and then followed up with a hug for Robert.
They left shortly after, the car ride the same amazing experience for Aaron as it had been every other time. He’d only been to Robert’s pack about eight times – but it was still one of his favorite things to do. Every time he went it felt like there was something new, something different and more exciting for him to get the chance to experience.
But this time, everything was closed except one shop. “We close everything up except the gift shoppes for the entire week of Christmas. It’s all required paid-vacation for all members, since we believe that everyone deserves to have one week of the year to spend with their family without stress reguarless of their financial situation. The gift shoppes close up on Christmas eve and don’t open up again until the Monday after Christmas.”
“That’s… really nice. I really like how everything runs here, R. I love it so much.” Robert gives him a bright smile and kisses him softly when the car comes to a stop at a stop light.
“We’re here.” He says a few moments later when they pull up in front of the pack house. It’s a place he’s grown more fond of over each visit, rather than intimidated of, and it’s the same with Robert’s family. They don’t know him very well, but he and Vic had hit it off very well, and then Robert’s mother loves him, and he and Robert’s father have a few common interests that they’d been able to strike a few conversations up about that made the Alpha like him as well.
Aaron hops out of the car and goes to grab his bags, but Robert comes up to him and stops him, places a little kiss on his lips. “Aaron,” He says softly and Aaron smiles up at him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He says with a smile. They kiss again and Robert takes both of their bags inside. Sometimes he forgets how kind Robert is and little actions like that have to remind him – and each and every time the love swells up in his heart and he almost gets overwhelmed by it. It’s such a wonderful feeling to love and be loved.
The second he gets inside, Sarah greets him happily. “Hello, Aaron!” She says and pulls him into a hug.
“Aaron!” Vic says from the other side of the room and joins Robert’s mother in wrapping him in a hug.
“It’s lovely to see you dear. How have you been?”
“I’ve been wonderful. Thank you. How about you?”
“I’ve been well. Thank you.”
“It’s great to see you too, Vic. I like your hair.” He said. She’d dyed it since he last saw her, and she smiled at the compliment.
“Thanks! I thought it was nice.”
“It is. I like it a lot.”
“We’re gonna go put our things away, mum. We’ll be down in just a few.” Robert says, motioning to the bags in his arms and Aaron gives a smile before following with the alpha up the stairs. There was a steady stream of snow falling now and he could see it through each window from the home.
Robert kisses him as soon as they get into the alphas room and Aaron is smiling up at him. “My heats coming soon.” He says softly. “Two weeks. Will you be able to help me through it?” Robert frowns just a bit and Aaron pretends his heart doesn’t break.
“I can’t leave my pack for a week at a time, Aaron. I could help you if you came here, though? Would that be possible?”
“I mean, I don’t see why not. I hope so.” Aaron says with a smile and Robert kisses him again. “Won’t it be a little awkward, though? Your entire family will like… know… I came here just for you to fuck me through my heat…”
“It’s natural, my love. There’s nothing awkward or weird about it at all.” The omega nodded and smiled again. Robert always just seemed to be that voice of reason when he was uncertain. It was a good feeling to have someone there to reassure him when he really, truly needed it the most. Robert was the only person he’d met who seemed to be able to understand him this well, because no one else ever had been able to. Little things that caused him anxiety, Robert understood that they weren’t just little in his mind and that he needed to feel better about them.
Robert let him embrace that omega side of his nature without feeling inadequate and it was such an incredible feeling.
He went to start unpacking his things after that, hung his clothing up on the hangers in what Robert had deemed as his portion of the closet. It was all perfectly domestic, too, the way that they could just easily enjoy sharing a space without any problems or discomfort coming from it. It made him feel better about a lot of things in his life, made him feel secure in the fact that Robert could very easily become his life mate.
Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron waist and pulled the omega close to him. Aaron laughed and wrapped his arms around his alpha, too. “We’re going out again tonight, and I know we just got here, but I want to take you out. Is that okay?” Robert kissed the top of his head after his question and his fingers were rubbing little circles on his back.
“’Course.” Aaron said with a little grin. He secretly loved when Robert took him out – loved when Robert treated him like he was fragile and important and like he needed to be won over. He’d never admit that, even though maybe the alpha already had an idea, but it made him feel special and loved and – submissive in a way he’d never felt before whenever Robert did little surprise dates for him. “But for now, I promised your sister I’d beat her at poker the last time I was here, so, I do have to tend to that first.” Robert barked out a laugh and kissed him again.
“Good luck with that, love.”
By the end of the night, Aaron was twenty pounds poorer thanks to Vic’s incredible poker skills, and Robert had just laughed at him! The entire time! He eventually quit pouting when he’d crawled into Robert’s lap for their family movie (per Sarah’s request before Robert took him out) and everything felt like it was perfectly in place.
Aaron squeezed himself into his best suit, ignoring the little side glances Robert kept tossing at him each time a new piece of skin would be revealed for the alpha to see. “This is why I don’t change in front of you!” He said with a little laugh. “A boy can’t even put clothes on without you getting all hot.”
“You make me hot. Can you really blame me?” Robert said with a dimpled grin and Aaron felt his face get hot again. He decided not to say anything else, though, and buttoned his shirt up the rest of the way and pulled his jacket over the top. Then he pulled his pants up over his thighs and buttoned them. “Can’t wait to take those off again later, though.” Robert said and Aaron rolled his eyes and threw the sock he was about to put on at the alpha’s head.
Robert just laughed and walked over to Aaron. He cupped his chin between his pointer finger and his thumb, tilted his head up, and kissed him again. It was another thing Aaron would never admit to, but he did kind of like it when Robert manhandled him like that, made him move in the way he wanted and got him to do what he wanted. “My pretty little omega. You know I’m like, the luckiest alpha in the world, right?”
“You’re a sap, Sugden.”
“No, I just love you.” Aaron smiled.
“I love you too.”
“Let’s go, then?”
“Yeah, sure.” Robert grabbed his hand and led him downstairs. He even held the door open for him like the gentleman he is. The car ride was short, and Aaron was buzzing – as usual – with the excitement for what Robert was going to do for him. He loved when Robert took him out on dates more than anything, loved being able to spend time with the alpha in an atmosphere that felt romantic. It was closely tied with how he felt when he and Robert were able to just act domestic with one another.
“This is called The Cellar.” Robert said with a smile, opening Aaron door for him and leading the omega out by holding his hand again.
“Fancy.” Aaron said with a grin as they walked inside.
“Good evening, Alpha Sugden.” The man at a podium at the entrance said with a friendly smile.
“Good evening, Geoffry.” The two alphas shook hands and the stranger sent Aaron a nod of acknowledgement, the unspoken rule of not touching an unbonded omega playing heavily in the air.
“This way, please.” Robert nodded and the two of them followed the other alpha to a table near the back of the restaurant. It felt perfectly secluded, like they were allowed to just be in their own little world with no one there to bother them. Aaron keened. “What will your choice of wine be tonight, sirs?”
“Chateau Lafite, please.” Robert said without thinking and Aaron just nodded in agreement. He’d only ever had the champagne with Robert as his life’s alcohol intake, so he just trusted that Robert picked something nice.
“Of course. I’ll have that right away.” Robert turned to Aaron and gave a little smile.
“This is my favorite place in the world, right here. But it’s even better now, I think, because I have you here with me to make it better.”
“Everywhere with you is my favorite place. You make me so happy, Robert.” There was live music playing somewhere in the background, but it was quiet enough that it wasn’t distracting, and he suddenly understood how much thought Robert really did put into all of these things. He’d chosen a spot right out of eyeshot of the public, knowing of Aaron’ slight anxiety of being around alphas who might judge him, then he’d chosen a spot where the music wasn’t distracting, and he’d chosen the kind of atmosphere that made him feel relaxed in only the way Robert could make him feel.
He loved Robert more than words could ever possibly describe.
A waiter came out shortly after and poured two glasses of wine for the two of them. Robert didn’t request that he leave the bottle, so the waiter left with it and Aaron couldn’t help but look at the thick-looking red liquid in his glass.
“I’ve never had wine before.” Aaron said with a little laugh. Robert smiled again.
“Well, at least you’re starting with the best, then. Pretty sure my first actual alcohol was corner store brand from my of-age friend’s party.”
“Oo, naughty alpha. Drinking before you’re of age.” Robert winked and Aaron laughed again. It fell into a comfortable silence then as they both pulled the menus from the table and slowly started looking over the options. Everything was in French, though, so Aaron was lost. “What do you like from here, Robert? I can’t… read French.”
“Do you just want me to get you something I think you’d like?”
“Yes, please.” Aaron says with a shy smile and the alpha nods and smiles.
It wasn’t too long later when their food came out. Robert had ordered him something that he couldn’t pronounce, but when it came out, it looked incredible. So. He wasn’t complaining at all. As much as he loved his pack, they had no need for any extremely fancy or special restaurants, so it felt really good to be able to go out to a fancy place.
“Hey Aaron?” Robert said after a moment and he looked up.
“Yeah?” When Robert stood he couldn’t help but quirk his eyebrow and then – oh. Oh god. He felt his eyes filling with tears as Robert went down on one knee, and he covered his mouth with his hands.
“Aaron Dingle,” The alpha started, grinning up at him, “I’ve only known you for a little less than a year, but you’ve already changed everything in my life, from the way I see things to the way I feel to the future I’ve envisioned for myself. The future I see now, every single possibility, they all have you. So, will you have me as your bondmate?” A single tear fell down Aaron’ face and he nodded.
“Yes, yes Robert. Of course.” Robert took one of his hands and slipped a sleek, silver band onto his ring finger.
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too.”
Later that night, they slipped into the house when everything was silent and made love until the sun peaked over the horizon and both of them fell asleep, content and happy to think of the rest of their lives spent with the other. Aaron knew there was nothing else in his life he could want more. He could see himself with children and a life and everything with Robert one day – he could see himself doing everything he’d ever imagined he’d do with Robert right by his side.
Everything was finally in place.
They’re sitting in Robert’s room on the last day at his home, Aaron sitting in Robert’s lap and the duvet pulled over the both of them with a film playing. It’s nothing special, nothing either of them were really interested in, so they’d just been making small talk for the entire time it had been playing. Aaron loves sitting in Robert’s lap, he’s discovered. It feels even better to have a blanket pulled over him because then he’s warm from Robert’s natural heat and the blanket, and it’s times like this when he never wants to leave the bed.
“Alright, so what do you want me to do for your heat?” Robert asks, and Aaron’ face was warm. He hated talking about sex. Having the sex was great and all – but talking about it always left him feeling embarrassed and small. It was a weird feeling, but he knew it was necessary to talk about these things and the fact that Robert was talking about these things only meant that he cared enough to ask.
“Well – um. I know that if I start like, with my dick right away that it starts to hurt worse within a few days, so like, if you could…”
“Make you come as much as possible without touching your cock?” Robert said all of these things with a straight face and Aaron felt like the embarrassment was going to burn him up. “Love, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” The alpha kissed at his cheeks softly. “I know talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, but I want to make sure I’m making you feel good and not breaking any boundaries you might have. This is entirely for your own comfort, okay? You know you’re not entirely coherent during your heats so you can’t tell me something is hurting you or making you uncomfortable, right?”
“Right.” Aaron said softly.
“So, is there anything you don’t want me to do?”
“Um, no. I don’t – I don’t think there’s anything like, that I don’t like when I’m in heat. I guess maybe just don’t get too rough? I like it kind of rough when I’m coherent, but when I’m out like that, my omega likes it slow and soft and love-y.” Robert smiles softly and nods.
“Of course, love. Anything you want.”
They go back to Aaron’ house the next day and have yet another Christmas dinner and open one present each. Aaron’ family tradition had always been that they open one present each on Christmas eve and then Aaron opens two more, as his birthday gifts, and then the rest are for Christmas day. It’s just how every year has always gone.
So they all sit around the tree, Aaron leaning on Robert as he watches all of his siblings open their presents and squeal happily. Lottie gets some new perfume and kisses their mum and dad on the cheek and hugs them both. Aaron loves his family.
“Alright Aaron. Which one do you want to open for your Christmas Eve present?” His mum asks and he chooses the smallest one on the top of the pile. It’s from Lottie, and he smiles.
“I’ll open this one.”
“And, sister of the year award goes to me.” His sister says with a snicker and Aaron rolls his eyes. He slowly tears the paper away from the back, peeling the tape away and reveals a little brown box. He undoes the flaps and when he opens it the rest of the way, it’s a photo of him and Robert. His mouth rises into a huge smile when he looks at it and remembers the day so clearly.
It was one of Robert’s first less-frequent visits, but it had been almost three weeks since he’d seen his alpha and the moment he’d first seen him, he’d jumped into Robert’s arms and wrapped himself around the alpha as they hugged each other tightly. He hadn’t known that Lottie had even gotten a picture of it, but seeing the moment captured on film made his eyes fill with happy tears. He turned it towards Robert so he could see too, and the alpha smiled wide.
“I love it, Lotts. Thank you so much.” He says happily.
“Okay, two more for you Aaron. Happy birthday.” He nods and picks his other two, one from his mum and dad and the other from Robert.
The first one he opens is from his parents, of course, and when he unwraps it it turns out to be a to-be-claimed airline voucher. “We got that for you with the hope that the two of you would go somewhere, maybe on your honeymoon.” His father says with a smile. “The hotel fare is paid for as well, for one week.”
“Wow, thank you guys.” Aaron says and reaches over to hug them both at the same time and kisses their cheeks.
“Thank you so much.” Robert says as well. “That’s a really lovely and thoughtful gift.” Aaron smiles because he knows that Robert is being sincere. He loves that things that most alphas would say just to butter up an omega’s parents to sound better are all truly sincere coming from Robert’s mouth.
Then he goes to work on undoing Robert’s gift wrapping. It’s wrapped beautifully in all silver with golden bows around it and Robert’s beautiful writing of his name scrawled on the side in thick, black marker. The first thing on the top is a little letter, so he pulls it out and reads it.
Aaron,
First of all, I want to tell you happy birthday and remind you once again that I love you dearly, because you mean more to me than anything or anyone else ever has. You’re the true light of my life and you make everything feel better whenever I think about you. I love how feisty you can be and I love that you don’t fall perfectly into that omega stereotype that everyone assumes of your gender. (Not saying I don’t love when you get all pliant for me, either, but that’s for another time).
I know that the distance that often comes between us leaves you not feeling your best sometimes and I sincerely hope that you know how terrible I feel that I can’t be here with you so much more. So, I got this necklace for you, one half of my heart, to remind you that even if we aren’t always physically together, we’ll always be together at heart.
There’s also a new vibrator at the bottom of the box, so, you probably shouldn’t pull that out in front of your parents.
All the love, R.
He can’t help the little laugh that bubbles out of his throat when he reads about the vibrator, but then he turns and kisses Robert softly. “Thank you. I love you, too.” Then he takes the necklace from the box and sets the rest, with the wrapping, to the side to prevent anyone else seeing. Then he turns to Robert one last time. “Will you put it on me, please?”
“Of course, love.” Robert says and takes the necklace from him, then fastens it around his neck and clips it. Robert was right all over again. He feels better already, knowing that even though Robert will have to leave soon, he’ll still be with him in heart.
It’s such a wonderful and thoughtful gift and Aaron can’t think of much else other than how much he really loves his alpha.
“Okay, R. Your turn to open yours.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Robert says, quirking an eyebrow, but Aaron just rolls his eyes.
“Shush and just open it, okay.”
“Okay.” The alpha says with a little smile and takes the box from beneath the tree and turns it over to undo the wrapping. He thought it was kind of funny that they’d both had the same idea of hiding a dirty gift beneath a much more innocent one, but he really doesn’t want to embarrass Robert so he leans over and whispers in his ear.
“Don’t pull the bottom of yours out, either.” Robert quirks an eyebrow but undoes the wrapping the rest of the way. It’s a watch, since Aaron knows his last one broke. He’d saved up to get Robert one big gift, rather than several smaller gifts and he smiles when Robert pulls him over and kisses him again.
“I’m spanking you later for spending this much money on me.” He whispers into Aaron’ ear. And then louder, “I love you so much.”
He goes into heat that night. It’s just as fast as it had been the first time Robert had seen it, the suppressants still making it a real pain in his ass, but this time he feels like it’s all okay. He doesn’t panic, not this time.
“Um, Robert.” He says softly and Robert glances over at him. He knows that it won’t start to scent like heat just yet, probably not for at least thirty more minutes.
“Yeah, love?”
“I’m, um. I’m going into heat.” He says wide eyes. “It’s early, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby. It’s okay. I’m not too worried about going home. We’re already here and it’ll be more comfortable for you to stay here, yeah?”
“We could probably make it back to your house before it really set in if you really need to get home.”
“It’s okay, babe.”
“You alright, boys?” His mother calls from the kitchen.
“Mum, um, I’m going into heat.”
“Oh, okay dear. Do you two need anything before you go upstairs, then? Make sure you take some extra water up there and I’ll bring the two of you something to eat in the morning.” He loved how easy it was to handle heat with his mother. He could remember the times when he’d have to go to his grandparents’ house when she’d get her heats, so maybe that was a part of it, since she’d already been through this part of her life, but really, she was just a wonderful person.
“Thanks, mum. I think we’re fine though. Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas, Aaron. Happy Christmas, Robert.”
“It’s not set in yet.” Aaron said, sitting back on the bed when they were up in his room. He was already a bit sweaty, and that slight tingle under his skin that he got with his heat was slowly making itself obvious, but he didn’t need anything yet. For now, all he wanted was for Robert to hold him. “Cuddle me for a bit?”
“Course, love.” Robert sat beside him and Aaron went to lay down, followed by Robert who wrapped his arms around him. He was faced away from the door, Robert holding him tightly, surrounded by an alphas scent, and he felt at peace. This was his perfect, instinctual desire. To be cared for, held, and protected by his alpha. Robert seemed to pick up on this, and he started stroking the omega’s hair softly. “My good boy. You’re so good for me, aren’t you? My sweet boy.”
His alpha always knew when he needed to hear some kind of praise, when his omega didn’t care what was really being said to him, but all he really cared about was being told he was good and everything was okay. It wasn’t often that he would get like that, though. Really, the only time it happened was during his heats and right after they had sex, so maybe Robert had just gotten used to what he needed.
They laid like that for a long while, at least for an hour, until Aaron’ heat really set in. The aching need settled in under his skin and suddenly he wasn’t just warm – he was burning. A soft whimper left his throat and Robert ran his fingers through his hair again. “You need me?” Robert asked softly and Aaron nodded.
“Please. It’s – it’s bad this time.” Some of his heats were worse than others, mostly because of the pills, and Robert gave him a sympathetic look in response.
“Okay love. I’m here. I’m going to help you.” Aaron nodded a few times and let Robert pull his clothes off, let the alpha do whatever he wanted because he knew it would help. For that moment, he was still coherent enough to feel the love and affection that he had for Robert and the appreciation that he had for how he was being so good and gentle in how he was helping him.
He’d be coherent enough tomorrow, too, but he knew better than anyone else that within an hour, he’d be a begging mess that couldn’t think of anything other than the word knot. So, he just let himself fall into it.
It was the first heat he’d experienced where he hadn’t fallen into an omega space before it really set in, as well. He knew that was because Robert was here. He knew it was because Robert was here and he was going to help him and because he loved Robert.
Robert fucked him, gentle but just the right amount of soft that Aaron was sated and satisfied when he was finally able to just sit in Robert’s lap while his knot was still keeping them locked together. His alpha was whispering sweet nothings into his ear, and he let them take him away into his safe place. For the first time, when he drifted away during his heat, he just saw his life how it was. Nothing changed. Robert was still there, holding him and telling him how good he was and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
The months went by after that, Robert came out almost every week, and before long, it was Robert’s initiation to become his pack’s alpha. Aaron knew, logically, that he wouldn’t be able to come and visit him anymore, at least nowhere near with the same frequency, and he knew it was time. It was time to ask his Alpha permission to bond with Robert.
Perhaps he’d been putting it off, waiting and waiting until he had to ask – because it was terrifying. He didn’t want to have to go to his superior and ask if he could love someone. It wasn’t normal. Every other couple just bonded when they found it right, but instead he had to go and ask permission.
He understood, of course. He understood that it wasn’t so much that he was asking permission to bond with Robert – but he was asking to leave the pack. As soon as he bonds with Robert, his attachment to this pack will fade unless that bond is broken and that’s why he has to ask. He was born and raised here, lived here his entire life, and some people might consider it being a traitor to want to leave, but he can’t help it. He wants to leave and follow his heart and fall in love and have a house full of babies and love Robert the best he can. It’s all he wants.
So he decides to just suck it up, to force himself to gain the courage to ask his Alpha if he can leave and mate with Robert.
But of course he has to ask his parents first, so he decides all of this can wait until tomorrow.
When he wakes the next day, he’s already nervous. He knows he needs to go and ask, and he knows that it is going to happen today, but he still hasn’t quite built up that confidence. So. He calls Pete.
“Hello?” The other omega says and Aaron can’t feel anything for a brief second except the relief he feels that he can actually vent to his best friend. Then the nerves set back in and he feels like he might throw up again.
“Pete.” He whines out on his end of the line. “I’m so – I’m so fucking nervous. I feel like I might actually explode because you’re so right, what if he does say no? I love Robert so much and I don’t know what I’ll do and all I want is to be able to go and bond him and I don’t know what to do because asking permission is so hard and it’s so scary and help me, god. I’m freaking out.”
“Aaron, you’ll be okay.” Is what Pete says. “If he says yes, you’ll be free and happy and able to live your life out how I know you want to.”
“And if he says no?”
“Well, if he says no, your family and I will be here with you every step of the way to help you deal with it. I know that would probably be the hardest thing for you to ever experience, but I really doubt he’s going to say no. So, it’ll be okay, Aaron.”
“I hope so.”
“Now go. There’s no use worrying about it when you don’t even know the answer yet!”
“Okay, Ni. You’re right. I’m going. Thanks for letting me vent.”
“Course, babe. Call me and update me later.”
He showers and gets dressed in his nicest business-casual clothing he can find, just enough to feel like he’s more dressed up than usual but not so much that he’s wearing a full suit. He doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to dress to talk to his pack’s Alpha, but he decides that he can’t think about that too long or else it’ll just become another distraction to get himself to stay home and not go ask.
He really, really wants to ask. It’s just – he’s always run away from his fears. When something scares him and he doesn’t want to deal with it, he’s always just pushed it to the side and let it leave him alone. Obviously, doing that with this wouldn’t do him any good, so he knows that he just has to alpha up and get on with it.
The entire walk there, he’s sweating. His palms sweat so much that he has to rub it off on his jeans and each time he does, the sweat seems to come back faster than the time before. But he goes all the way and he’s greeted at the door by someone who obviously works for the house.
“Hello.” He says softly. “I’d like to speak to Alpha Barton if possible?”
“Come in and sit, please.” The man – a beta – says and he walks in and sits where he’s offered. “Can I have your name?”
“Aaron Dingle.”
“And what would you like to speak with the Alpha about?”
“Um –“ He pauses, rubs a sweaty hand over the back of his neck.
“It’s alright, thank you for letting him in.” He hears a voice say from the bottom of the stairs. “I know why he’s here. Follow me up, Aaron. Lets go chat in my office.” Aaron isn’t sure why that makes him feel so much more nervous than he had been before, but he’s here and he can’t back out now.
“Yes, Alpha.” He says softly and follows the man up the stairs and into a small room. The Alpha goes and sits behind his desk and Aaron sits in the chair he’s offered once again.
“Do tell me, Aaron. How good of a pack alpha would it make me if I wasn’t aware of what my omegas were up to?” The Alpha says and Aaron suddenly feels small. He feels caught, like he’s been caught as a child with his hand in the cookie jar and he’s about to get a scolding. It’s obviously a rhetorical question, but the Alpha is starting at him like he expects an answer, so Aaron swallows.
“I um – I don’t know, Alpha, sir.” Yaser gives a soft smile, but Aaron still feels like a deer who’s been caught in headlights.
“The answer, Aaron, is I would be quite a terrible Alpha.” He sighs softly. “Please sit down.” Then the Alpha motions towards the chair beside Aaron and he sits, but everything feels a bit like it’s in slow motion and he can’t help the sour taste in his mouth like he realizes everything is going to go bad. It’s all going to backfire in his face and everything Pete said is going to come true and nothing is ever going to work out in his favor and he’ll live a long, lonely life without ever getting a mate and he’ll get thirty three cats instead.
He can already see it.
“I know you’re here to ask permission to leave the pack and bond with Mr.Sugden, and I know that you’ve wanted this for several weeks, and I know that you’ve been a rather frequent item with Mr.Sugden for longer. So, I’m going to let you tell me your side of the story. Convince me, Aaron. Because right now, all I see is a love-blinded omega who is putting himself in danger by leaving home and bonding with an alpha who he doesn’t know very well.” Aaron takes a deep breath as he thinks about the words and how to arrange them in his head. He’s thought about how he would ask the question, but he’d never, never imagined that the Alpha would be a step ahead of him like this.
“With all due respect, sir, I know Robert more than I’ve perhaps known anyone in my entire life. We’ve only known each other for a little over a year, but even just the first week I knew him I knew I could spend my entire life with him. My best mate, Pete, said it could possibly be some kind of fate induced soul bonding – with the coincidence of your son’s heat coming early and leaving Mr.Barton incapable of handling Robert. That all led to me meeting him and at first – at first I thought everything was just friendly. Of course it all seems that way at first for everyone, I guess, but then we talked and I realized that everything he said to me and everything he did to me made me happy. He makes me feel safe and happy and he feels like a – a home to me. I don’t – I wish I knew how to explain it better because I’m sure this is the least convincing thing you’ve ever heard, but I just. I love him so much.” He says and looks to the Alpha once again. It’s a bold move, but he decides to take it anyway. Few people have direct requests to the pack alpha, and even fewer can ask them face to face. “Please, sir, please grant this request for me. I want nothing more than to bond with Robert.”
The Alpha is quiet for a long while, and then he lets out a soft sigh. “You remind me of my son when he found Finn. He was – he described Finn in the exact same way you’re describing Mr.Sugden right now and that does give me some hope that you’re not just love-blinded. But you do have to understand where my hesitancy is coming from, do you not? You understand that as a member of my pack, your safety is my top priority. Especially as an omega of my pack. My goal here is to be able to protect you, to keep you safe and out of harm’s way and I can’t do that anymore if you decide to leave my pack.”
“I understand fully, sir. And I’m grateful that you care for my safety, but I genuinely think you have no reason to be concerned for me.” Yaser sighs again and Aaron braces himself for the no. He braces himself for the heart break and the despair he knows he’ll feel if he gets that answer that he never wants to hear. He knows the Alpha can feel all of these emotions coming off of him, but he doesn’t change his facial expression.
“I’m sorry Aaron, but I’m not going to allow you to leave with him.” The Alpha finally says. Aaron had prepared himself for that rejection, for that intense pain, but he still can’t stop the tears that fall from his eyes, then. It’s too sudden and he can’t feel anything other than the ache deep inside of his chest.
“Oh.” Is all he can say. “Alright. Um, thank you for your time.” He says softly and stands up, but everything feels like it’s moving slowly. He wants to run to Robert and he wants his alpha there to comfort him, but he can’t. He walks out of the little office he’d met the Alpha in and practically drags himself out of the house, down each step, and he starts his walk home.
Everything feels like it’s in slow motion, and he feels like it would be appropriate to toss himself into a ditch. “Aaron!” He hears a voice shout from behind him, but he can’t identify it, he can’t hear much else than a ringing in his ears as he focuses on the pain in his chest.
The owner of the voice’s hand wraps around his arm and he finally turns to face the man. He blinks a few times when he realizes that it’s Ross – the pack Omega and he furrows his eyebrows. “Hi.” The omega says and offers a kind smile. “Come back with me. I’m going to help you.” Aaron’ brain doesn’t catch up with the words for a few moments, but when it does, he nods and lets himself get led back to the pack house by Ross.
The Omega leads him back inside, back up the stairs, and back into the same office. His arm is still in Ross’s grip. “Dad.” The Omega says and Yaser quirks an eyebrow. “I’m giving him my blessing to go – you don’t – you don’t understand what it’s like to be an omega in love like this and I don’t think it’s fair that you’re keeping that from him. So he has my blessing and I’m deciding not to care what you have to say about it unless you agree with me.” Yaser quirks an eyebrow and his gaze moves back to Aaron.
“You’re not to listen to him, Aaron. He has this tendancy to forget who’s in charge here, and I don’t think he’s thinking of the legal consequences you or Mr.Sugden will face if you go against my word.”
“Think about what mum would say, dad. You know she would want you to let him go.” Yaser’s face hardens.
“I said no!” He shouts and Aaron nearly falls over. Ross doesn’t seem affected and perhaps that’s just because Yaser is his father, but Aaron feels like he might actually throw up.
“Finn will be a much better alpha than you are, dad. I hope you know that.” Ross says with a sneer and Aaron feels like he’s caught in the middle of something that should be a private, family affair, but Ross’s grip on his arm only tightens and he can’t run away. He isn’t sure what to do.
“You really shouldn’t say things when you’re angry, Ross.” He hears another voice, this time Finn’s, and turns to look at the other alpha. He hadn’t been prepared to be brought in front of the entire fucking pack house, and his head was spinning. “Your father said no, love. I know how you get when you’re passionate, but he’s said no, and you know that means no.” Ross shakes his head.
“Knotheads, the both of you! Mum came over here from another pack and she lived out a happy life and he’s not letting Aaron go find someone who could very possibly be his true mate because he doesn’t want to let him leave.” Aaron feels like he might actually suffocate.
“Stop bringing your mother up, Ross!” Yaser says, his tone firm. “She’s not here to put her word in, and I’d appreciate if you didn’t try and guilt me into giving you what you want to happen. Let the poor boy go. He’d accepted that I said no, and then you had to go and drag him back in here.” Ross turns to him, then, finally.
“Aaron, go. I want you to leave and here’s my permission to go. Do keep in mind that omega safety is under the jurisdiction of the house Omega, under our pack’s law, and since my mother is dead, that right is passed on to me. I’m granting you the permission to go.” Ross makes eye contact with his father, then, and Yaser’s mouth has fallen open. “Go, be happy. And should you meet bad fates while you’re there, you’re always welcome back.”
“I –“ Three sets of eyes are on him.
“He’s right.” Finn says, just as shocked as everyone else. “Fucking hell, Ross. When did you start reading law books?”
“When I realized I could have a say if I ever felt like it.” The omega says with a shrug. Aaron still feels confused – he doesn’t know who to listen to. His body is screaming at him to listen to the alpha, to take that word and just deal with the fact that his desire had been rejected, but then his mind is telling him to listen to Ross and follow his heart.
Yaser sighs again, softly. “Alright, Aaron. Alright. My son wins. You’re free to go and – as he said, please, please come back if you even think anything bad is going to happen. Call your mother – or Finn – and we’ll have someone there as quickly as possible to help you. Your safety is our priority, bonded to another pack or not.”
“So – I can go?” He says, suddenly happier than he’d been in a while.
“Yes.” The Alpha says with a slight-smile.
“Thank you so much.” He says and Ross pulls him into a hug.
“Go, enjoy your life. Love freely. I know how it feels to love someone who’s been forbidden.” Finn rolls his eyes.
“Thank you.” He repeats and does the same walk he’d done just a few minutes earlier, but this time he feels alive in a way he could never describe. He feels like the entire world is open for him to do whatever he can with it.
He runs home and there are tears streaming down his face and the first thing he does is run into his mother’s arms. “What did he say, love?” She asks and pets his hair.
“He said yes! Mum, I’m going – I’m leaving with Robert!” He’s still crying, but they’re happy tears and his body is practically vibrating with the excitement he feels.
“I’m – happy for you, son.” She says. Aaron knows that she’s sad that she’s losing him, that he’s leaving and probably won’t be seeing her much, but it’s okay. They’d already had that discussion. She was happy for him since he was leaving to find his love – and she knows that he’ll be happy there. “Come visit me often, okay? Don’t forget about us here.”
“I would never, mum. I love you so much.” He runs upstairs after that and immediately grabs his phone to call Robert.
It rings three times before the alpha answers. “Hey, love.” His voice says from the other end. He sounds tired and Aaron feels bad for a moment until he remembers the good news.
“Did I wake you?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it.”
“Okay. Okay. I have good news!”
“Lay it on me.”
“My pack Alpha said yes. We can – I can go with you. He gave his blessing for us to bond.” The line is quiet for a moment and Aaron just listens for a moment. There’s rusting on the other end and then a little thump and Aaron giggles a little when he realizes that Robert just dropped his phone. “I’m sorry I put it off for as long as I did. I was really scared of being rejected.” He says after. It feels like something he owes Robert an apology for, considering they’d been engaged for well over three months now.
“No, Aaron. Don’t worry about that at all. What matters is we can bond now, yeah? I’m so happy, love. This is great news. When do you – when do you want to come move your stuff in?”
“Whenever you want, Robert. I’m so ready – I’m ready to start our life together.”
“I can swing by tomorrow afternoon and help you pack your things up. Is that too soon?”
“No, I don’t think so. I can spend the rest of the night and tomorrow morning with my family, saying goodbyes and stuff. Tomorrow afternoon sounds fine for me.”
“Alright, love. I’ll see you then, alright?”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He knows he woke Robert up from a nap, even if the Alpha wouldn’t ever admit that, so he lets him go even though they didn’t talk for very long. His entire body is buzzing with the excitement, so he lays down on his bed and tries to calm his breathing. He can’t stop smiling and his cheeks actually hurt a bit from it, but everything felt like it was worth it.
He ran his fingertips over the scars from his failed bonding mark one last time – it was the last time he’d ever have to touch that place and think of terrible things. Soon, he’d be able to touch that little place between his neck and shoulder and think of all of the wonderful memories he had and would continue to make with Robert.
Robert comes the next day as promised and Aaron tucks the last of his bags into the back of his car. His mum, dad, and sister pull him into a tight hug that he quickly returns, wrapping his arms tightly around his family. “I love you all. Thank you for being so supportive of me. I’ll come visit whenever I can, okay?”
“Alright, love. Call me as much as possible, too, right?”
“Course, mum. See you later.” They all let go and exchange one last happy look as Aaron climbs into the passenger side of Robert’s car. His father pulls Robert into a little hug and whispers something into the alpha’s ear that Aaron doesn’t pay attention to, but he’s happy.
Robert gets into the driver’s seat and places a hand on his thigh and squeezes reassuringly and that’s all Aaron needs. He’s happy, and now he has his entire world ahead of him and waiting for his future to come.
It was two weeks later when they finally, finally decided to bond. A late night after a perfect day off for both of them, where they were just able to spend the entire of the day laying in bed together and enjoying each other’s company.
“Can we do it tonight?”
“Bond?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to?”
“I’ve wanted to for moths, Robert. I really, really, want to bond with you.”
“Then yes, of course we can my love.” Aaron smiles and Robert kisses him. The alpha places gentle little touches on his thighs and over his stomach and against every inch of skin as it gets exposed. It’s moments like these that Aaron loves – loves when Robert is gentle and soft and loving and caring with him. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve said it so many times, I know, but I’ll never quit saying it. Do you know that? Because you’re truly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I could spend every moment of every day looking at you, Aaron.”
“You’re so sappy.” Aaron says with a laugh. He loves Robert’s smile, and he loves how much he gets to see it. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Robert. Can’t wait to be bonded with you and be closer with you than I’ll ever be with anyone else. Can’t wait to be yours.” That seemed to make the alpha get the hint of what he wanted and he slowly stripped off the remainder of Aaron’ clothing and tossed it all to the side. “Do you think we can just – I really – I don’t want to wait anymore.”
“You want me to hurry? I thought you were patient, love.” Robert says with a little laugh and Aaron rolls his eyes. If Robert wants to play a dirty card, he can do the same thing.
“I just want to be yours, Alpha. Please, make me yours.” He says and whines. Robert’s pupils grow wider and he growls soft in his throat.
“My naughty little omega, aren’t you?”
“Only for you.” Aaron says and sticks his tongue out as two of Robert’s fingers prod at his rim. The pressure is light, just enough to tease him as he rubs the digits around but doesn’t press them inside. “You’re – teasing. Robert, please, please. I just want –“
“I know, love. I know. Okay, I’ll give you what you want.” Finally, Robert’s fingers press inside of him. His alpha knows well enough by then to know exactly how to crook his fingers inside of him to find his prostate and does so immediately. He puts pressure and rubs little circles on his sensitive little bundle of nerves until Aaron is whining high in his thoat and fisting the sheets below him. He knows how much Robert loves to watch him fall apart, and he loves to give him a show just as much. So. He doesn’t mind. “Look so pretty like this, Aaron. You’re so pretty when you’re falling apart on my fingers.” He chooses that moment to press another finger inside and Aaron whines louder, moans and pants as all three fingers scissor and stretch him open between strokes against his prostate.
“Robert, please, want your cock.” He whines out shamelessly, grinds himself back on Robert’s fingers. For once, his alpha looks like he’s just as desperate as he is, though, so he’s relieved when he pulls his fingers out of his hole and quickly replaces them with his cock. He moans loudly as his alpha bottoms out and his nails dig into Robert’s biceps.
“My good boy.” The alpha mouths at his neck and sucks a mark there, and Aaron knows that’s where he’ll put his mark. The perfect spot right on his neck where his scent is strongest. Robert’s thrusts are quick and fast and purposeful as he chases his orgasm so he can knot Aaron. “Mine.” The alpha growls out one time as he bites softly on the spot he’d been sucking on. “I love you so much, my good boy. My perfect omega.” Aaron keens at the praise, lets the feeling wash over him. “Gonna knot you now, kay? Gonna make you mine forever.”
“Please.” Aaron chokes out and finally, Robert’s knot fills all the way and locks him together with his alpha. Then he bites right into that spot on Aaron’ shoulder and the omega comes harder than he ever has in his life, a shout coming from the back of his throat as he feels Robert in every corner of his mind.
He falls asleep quickly, and he feels whole.
Future
Aaron can’t even begin to describe how wonderful his life is. He’s always surrounded by Robert’s family and the happiness that their home is always filled with makes him feel like he belongs in a way he’s never felt before. He can feel Robert though their bond – can feel closer with the alpha than he’s ever felt with anyone – and he’s happy. He’s happy and he thinks that he can’t ever be unhappy. This is his end all because everything, truly, is spectacular. He doesn’t think he could ever ask for anything better than what he has and really, he couldn’t even imagine anything better.
Robert was the alpha of their pack. During the ceremony, Robert had allowed him to walk with him as his mate and the omega of the pack. He was the person that all of the omegas went to with their problems if they were to experience any, just because it could be difficult for some omegas to speak to their Alpha and really be able to communicate effectively.
Other than that, he didn’t work. Robert didn’t forbid him from it, but Aaron had found over the last year that the alpha had been right about how much happier and less stressed he felt when he didn’t have to work. He assumed that he’d just gotten used to it before because he hadn’t realized exactly what it was like to be entirely calm.
He was laying on the floor of Robert’s home office at that moment, listening to his alpha make calls and do the things he did every day. He usually got somewhat clingy right before his heat was set to come, so Robert didn’t seem to mind. Normally he’d just go around town and get groceries or do some errands that needed to be done when there was nothing better to do, but today he’d attempted to leave the house and felt like he was going to cry by the time he was two blocks down the street.
Robert had let him sit in his lap for almost an hour until he felt better and then the omega decided it would be better to just lay on the floor and be comfortable in a place where he could be right beside Robert without bothering him.
He wasn’t really listening anyway. Pack business with the alpha was expected to be confidential – even if he was the pack’s omega. So he didn’t really let himself listen. He wound up playing on his phone for most of the day and when Robert eventually came over and carried him over to their bed and fucked him gently to remind him that he was loved – well, Aaron wasn’t complaining.
Aaron missed his heat that month and both he and Robert were a little concerned He hadn’t gone off of his birthcontrol and there hadn’t really been any unwanted stress, but he decided not to think too much of it. “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” Robert asked several times, and this time Aaron felt like he was going to cry if he heard Robert ask again. He was still very emotional for some reason.
Which, well, he did. He cried when Robert asked for the fifth time in that week and he just – he just started sobbing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually cried this hard and it didn’t feel right. Maybe there was something wrong. “I don’t know. Maybe. I feel weird.” He said with a sniffle and Robert was immediately holding him, rubbing comforting circles on his back. Aaron felt a bit better, but he still felt like he was tired – tired and emotionally drained.
“Aaron, love. I think we should take you to the doctors, yeah? I’m concerned and I think something might be wrong, but it would be good to hear from a professional that I’m just making it up, yeah?”
“Alright. That sounds okay.” Robert nodded and kissed the side of his head again.
“I think we should spend a day in, though. Just the two of us, yeah? I think it’s been too long since we’ve had a do-nothing day just for us.”
“Me too. Carry me to bed?” He said with a smile and Robert obliged. His legs were kind of crampy, too, so maybe there really was something wrong. He didn’t want anything to be wrong at all, but it was terrifying to think that there could be. So he didn’t think about it. When Robert got off the phone with the doctor and got an appointment scheduled for the next day, Aaron didn’t think about it again. He just let Robert hold him and cuddled with his alpha until he fell asleep.
“Alright, Alpha and omega Sugden, I have your results.” The doctor said, coming back into the room and smiling softly. “You’re pregnant, Omega Aaron.” Aaron blinked a few times and looked over to Robert with a shocked look.
“That’s not possible. I’ve taken my birth control every single day without fail since I was fifteen.”
“What brand?”
“Um, I don’t know. Just – whatever is on my prescription. I’ve never missed a single day, though!” The doctor made a strange noise and went to his computer and typed a few things in, and then a look of understanding crossed his face which only made Aaron feel angry. Robert still seemed shocked, and he hadn’t said anything yet, but Aaron just – he couldn’t imagine what could have happened to get him pregnant!
“Well, it appears that the last time you refilled your pills was about six months ago, right?”
“Right.” Aaron said, quirking an eyebrow.
“Well, the expiration date for omegoxin is four months. The six month sets were discontinued about three years ago, and I’m not sure why your pharmacist gave you a six month set, but since you’ve been taking expired birth control for the last two months, the reality of your pregnancy is quite high.” The doctor said and Robert coughed.
“We’re going to be fathers?” The alpha asked happily. Aaron was happy – of course he was – but he was just shocked and confused. He’d always thought he’d have a child that was plSarahd and expected and thought out – but it didn’t matter. His heart swelled with the care that he would have for this child one day and he placed a hand on his stomach.
“We’re going to have to run a few more tests just to be certain, but yes. As of right now, it appears that yes, you will be fathers. Congratulations, Alpha.” The doctor said with a polite nod. “We’ll just draw a bit of blood from you, Omega Aaron, and then we’ll have our certain results within the hour for you, alright?”
“Alright.” Aaron said with a polite smile. The doctor left and he turned to Robert with an amazed look on his face. “I didn’t even realize how much I wanted pups until right now. Robert, we’re gonna be dads!” He said and his eyes filled with tears once again. He was amazed. He and Robert created life!
Eventually, a nurse came in and took some blood from his arm, and then they were alone again. They talked for a while about what a baby meant to both of them and how much they were excited and that it would be okay whether the results were false positive or not – but the end conclusion came to be that they were ready. Aaron was twenty one and Robert was twenty six, so maybe they were a little young, but that didn’t mean they weren’t ready for the future.
When the doctor came back and confirmed that they were in fact going to be fathers and Aaron was about two months along, well, he was through the roof.
In his fourth month, though, the morning sickness started. His mum had said the same thing had happened to her – delayed morning sickness until the fourth month – but he hadn’t realized how bad it was going to be. He also didn’t understand why the hell they called it morning sickness, when it was really all the time sickness.
But Robert was there with him, holding his hand and cuddling him until he felt better after each miserable time he’d throw up. So, Aaron wasn’t complaining too much.
When the sixth month rolls around, they decide they want to know the sex of the baby. At first, neither of them had wanted to know because they wanted it to be a surprise, so they hadn’t asked during any of Aaron’ ultra sound appointments. But this one, they wanted to know. So, seeing their little baby and hearing it’s little heart beat, it was inevitable that Aaron finally asked.
“What’s the sex?” He asked and the doctor smiled.
“Are you sure you want to know? I thought you decided you didn’t.”
“We changed our minds.”
“You’re having a girl.” The doctor said and Aaron grinned. A little girl. He was going to have a little girl of his own to spoil and love. He could imagine Robert being the best dad and playing with her and he could already see them going to all of her school performances and being the best parents they could be to her.
“A girl.” He repeated, as if he was still unsure that all of this was real. Robert had a few tears in his eyes, too, and Aaron knew he’d deny that later, but when the alpha put snippets of their little girl’s pictures in his wallet, well, he knew that Robert loved her just as much as he did already.
“God I want her out of me!” Aaron shouted from the floor of their livingroom. He was nine months and two weeks in, and their little princess had decided she still wasn’t entirely ready. The doctor said that was fine and healthy and normal, but Aaron was miserable. He was as big as a whale and walking anywhere hurt and his back always ached and his nipples were sore and he was just ready to give birth already.
“She’ll come when she’s ready, love.” Robert said again, the same thing he’d been saying for the last three weeks, and continued rubbing his hand around his belly. Robert had been much more touchy with his belly ever since he’d started showing. Even before that, really, but when he’d really started showing in his sixth month, Robert almost always had a hand on him. He’d sing to their little girl every night before they slept and tell her stories and Aaron would always listen with a strong fondness for his two favorite people in his chest, but he still just wanted to hold his daughter. He was ready to finally, finally have her and be able to hold and kiss her for real.
Plus he was ready to be able to walk around a bit more, too. Walking became the hardest chore in the world at this point. He really wasn’t that big – since this was his first pregnancy and he’d been told that it was fine if he didn’t show all that much – but his ankles were still swollen and even moving made his back hurt.
“You can come out any time now, princess.” Robert spoke to his stomach softly. “Your daddy and I are waiting to be able to hold you and see you for real.” Aaron smiled.
“Hopefully she listens.” She chose that moment to kick – as if saying fuck you dad, I’m not ready and Aaron cried again.
Three days later, he was holding little baby Anna after his C-Section and he was so, so happy. She was the prettiest baby he’d ever seen – with Robert’s bright green eyes and his own nose and cute, chubby little cheeks that made him want to smile all the time. “Hi, Anna.” He said softly and Robert let the little baby grab onto his finger.
His family was out in the waiting room after fighting their way over here to see the baby after she’d just been born, and Aaron was so happy.
He kept a little baby book of each of Anna’s little milestones. Her first tooth, her first steps, her first word, her first haircut, her first day of school. Everything. He took more pictures than necessary, but he knew that one day he’d be more than happy that he did. Every moment was precious and he didn’t want to waste a single one.
“Papa! Daddy!” A little voice yelled from her room and Robert was the first up and darting over to her room, Aaron right on his heels. She was sat up in bed, tears in her eyes and hair disheveled.
“Did you have a bad dream, sweet heart?” Robert asked and the both of them sat with her on the bed. She just nodded and Aaron cooed and kissed the side of her head.
“Do you want to come and sleep with us?” She nodded again and Aaron picked her up and carried her to their room.
He had their second and final child, a boy, two months before Anna’s eighth birthday, and he was, truly, the happiest omega alive.
With their children in his arms and his alpha beside him, well, Aaron was certain that he was the happiest omega alive.
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Robert is barely out of his last exam when something blond and shouting plows into his side and tackles him to the ground. It's not the first time it's happened, so his bag is thankfully zipped and his things don't spill out everywhere, but it still knocks the wind out of him and he lies on his back in the grass, gasping fish-like for air.
"Robert!" Pete says, unnecessarily loud. He's straddling Robert's legs and grinning down at him hugely. Robert blinks at him.
"Hi Pete."
"Sorry Rob." Robert turns his head to see Ross and Finn walking toward them, hands linked casually between them. Pete gets off him and helps him up, and Robert stands up and dusts grass off his clothes. Ross's smiling ruefully. "He took off before we could stop him."
"To be fair, you should've seen it coming," Finn offers with a smirk. Robert offers him two fingers right back but he's grinning and he slings a companionable arm across Pete's shoulders.
"We're done!" Pete yells, wrapping Robert up in a tight hug. "First year of uni done, lads! Let's celebrate!"
"I've been in a library for three days. All I'm doing is sleeping."
"Sleep when you're dead," Pete says.
"That might be soon," says Robert.
Pete looks at him blankly.
Robert tilts his head at him. "If I don't get some sleep."
Pete sticks his tongue out at him and Robert catches it between his index finger and thumb and pinches until Pete makes a choking noise and bats him away. Ross is too polite to point and laugh, but Finn isn't, and he does just that as Pete pets at his tongue like that'll make it stop hurting and glares balefully at Robert.
"We should celebrate," Ross says, trying and failing to hide a smile. "Go out tonight or something? You can have a nap, first."
"I'm in," Robert agrees. "S'long as I get to sleep first. Where should we go?"
"Li and I've been wanting to check out this place called Ruby's Welcome. 'S a club."
"Never heard of it."
"I have," Pete says. "Supposed to be good. Hear the drinks are rubbish, though. Dancing's supposed to be fun. And the girls."
"That's why Ross and I wanna go," Finn adds, rolling his eyes. "The girls."
"It's true." Ross nods seriously and squeezes Finn's hand, lifts it to his mouth and kisses it like Finn's a princess. Robert makes gagging noises and Pete laughs and Finn makes like he's going to pull away with a disgusted sound in his throat but he's got a small, soft smile on his face and he's blushing. Ross and Finn have been together for years. They're absolutely foul with how sweet they are together. Robert can't imagine either of them with anyone but each other, let alone girls.
"All right, you two are sickening. I'm going home. Pete?"
"Yup?"
Robert waves an imperious hand toward the car park. They'd splurged on paying to park for their last day of term. "Take me home."
All it does is make Pete jump onto his back and refuse to get down, so Robert ends up carrying him to his car, Finn and Ross on either side, Robert's school bag clutched in Ross's hand.
The girl he's with is gorgeous, curvy and blonde and she smells nice and has something shiny and sparkly in her hair. She's nearly as tall as he is with a pair of truly fantastic legs. He's got his arms around her, teasing his fingers over the skin of her back where her dress bares a big tear-drop of skin just above the waist. She's got one of her hands on his chest and the other arm around his neck and they're kissing lazily, swaying together under the pound of dim light and throbbing bass and God-awful music. Robert's sweaty from dancing, his hair damp at the nape of his neck and her fingers are smooth out the blonde hair.
"You're really very good at this," she says, breathing heavy. She has pretty brown eyes and she tastes like the bubble gum she was chewing earlier. Her name is Ella and she was quiet and shy at first but she's bold with her body and unapologetic with her mouth and Robert likes that. Over her head he can see Pete with Ella's friend, and Ross and Finn are dancing together, all wound together like usual, Finn's lips moving around words Robert can't read and Ross's head tilted back as he laughs.
"Only as good as you make me, love," Robert tells her, and she laughs, smacks a hand against his chest lightly.
"That was a horrible line."
He grins, kisses her again. She's lovely and fun and it's the perfect first night of the summer holiday. He licks his way into her mouth and she makes a quiet sound in her throat and squeezes the back of his neck, leans in closer so her breasts are squished into his chest.
"Ella!" her friend says all of the sudden, shouting to be heard over the music. Robert reluctantly breaks the kiss to let her turn around, but she stays pressed close to him, her arse right against his groin as she leans down to hear more easily. Pete is there too, still attached to Ella's friend, wearing a pleased, mellow grin. His face is sheened in sweat and his hair is a mess like the girl's been running her hand through it. Robert offers him a wan smile and Pete winks theatrically.
"He's here again!" Ella's friend—Brittany or Bethany or something—shouts, and points at someone over Robert's shoulder. Robert turns around when Ella does and follows Brittany-or-Bethany's finger to a boy by the bar, and every single checkbox in Robert's mental list of everything good in a body is marked on sight.
He's not really a boy, probably at least Robert's age, but he's at least a head shorter and small, like Robert could wrap around him and hide him from everyone else's view. He's wearing tight, bright blue trousers and a white t-shirt with braces that've fallen down off his shoulders. He has a mess of dark, wind-blown looking hair and bright, piercing blue eyes and a crooked, sun-bright smile. As they watch he turns to face away, yelling to someone over the crowd, and Robert zeroes in on his perfect, perfect arse and feels his blood throb in his veins.
Ella must see the look on his face, because Robert's ever been an open book, and he can feel the smirk in her voice when she whispers in his ear. "He's prettier than every girl in here, isn't he?" He opens his mouth to answer but doesn't know what to say, can't answer honestly when she's on his arm, but she just laughs and pats his cheek. "It's all right. I already know he is. This is your first time here, yeah? He's a bit famous. His name's Aaron."
Aaron, Robert thinks. "Aaron," he says aloud.
"Mm-hm," she sing-songs. Robert's just about to turn back to her when the boy—Aaron—when he turns around. It's a coincidence, the crowd having parted a bit around Robert as someone pushed through to get to the bar, and Aaron's blue eyes settle on Robert and Robert doesn't look away. He's not self-conscious, and Aaron is beautiful to look at, especially when he smiles like that, one elegant eyebrow quirking. When the crowd closes in again Robert looks back to Ella. Ross and Finn have wandered off, and Pete is laughing with Brittany-or-Bethany a few feet away.
"What's he famous for?" Robert asks her curiously, pulling her back in, their hips swaying together again.
"The company he keeps," she says vaguely. "Or, rather, the company that keeps him."
"Pardon?"
Ella laughs, a sweet, tinkling sound. "Well, the rumor is that he has a bit of a thing for wealthy older men."
Huh. Robert looks back through the crowd toward the bar, but Aaron isn't there anymore and he shrugs, turns back to Ella and smiles at her, leans in and kisses her again.
The club is crowded and the beat heady and sexy. The DJ is very good and Robert's pleasantly buzzed and has a beautiful girl on his arm, against his chest, grinding back into him with her hair brushing his neck and the underside of his chin, her curvy hips in his hands.
He catches sight of Aaron a few more times, see him jumping around with his friends, and dancing up on the bar with one of the bartenders a little later. His voice is everywhere, loud and forceful and everyone seems to know him. Robert pays only Roby attention until later, when a guy at least in his early thirties leads Aaron past he and Ella on the dance floor. Aaron's all lit up in strobe lights, his smile a flash of white teeth and his eyes on Robert. The guy pulls Aaron in close, whispers something in his ear that makes Aaron laugh and Robert wets his lips, closes his eyes, wonders what it would feel like to be the other guy. When he looks again Aaron's dancing, lost in the music and for a second their eyes meet again.
Robert feels himself flush, tightens his arms around Ella and opens his mouth when she kisses him. She smells amazing, whatever perfume she's wearing and clean sweat and her shampoo. He cups the side of her neck and nudges his nose against her cheek, his mouth at her ear. "You want to go back to mine?" he asks her.
She pulls back and grins at him. "Thought you'd never ask. Just let me tell Brit and pop into the ladies room, hm?"
"Sure. I'm gonna go out back, have a fag. Meet you at the entrance?"
She nods, kisses his cheek and slips through the mass of dancing bodies and out of sight. Robert heads the other way. Finn and Ross aren't far off the dance floor, in a little alcove by the side wall. Finn has a drink, but Ross's hands are free and Robert gets a running start before launching himself onto Ross's unsuspecting back.
"What the—Robert!" And only Ross can sound so disapproving and fond at the same time. He gets his arms under Robert's legs to make sure he doesn't fall off. Robert smacks a loud kiss to the side of Ross's head before he lets his feet drop back to the floor. Ross cuts a look at Finn. "You saw him coming."
Finn shrugs lethargically. "Wouldn't have stopped him if you'd known."
"S'true," Robert says. "I'm leaving with Ella. You two let Pete know as well?"
"Sure," Ross says warmly, while Finn smirks and calls Robert a slut, ruffling his hair.
"You're parked the other way, mate."
"Going out back," Robert tells them. "Fancy a fag?"
Ross doesn't smoke, and Finn shakes his head, so Robert shrugs, hugs them both and makes his way out the back door.
The sudden lack of noise is startling, makes his ears ring. He shoves his fingers back through his hair, ignores it when it all falls right back into place. He digs his cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one up as he walks further away from the door. His eyes are on the sky, though it's not like he can see stars or anything, but the clouds are hanging over the moon and it's kind of pretty.
"Hey," a voice says next to him and he jumps, turning swiftly and coming face to face with Aaron. He's even smaller up close in comparison to Robert, slight shoulders and a narrow waist. His hair is a wreck, and he's smiling wide and so sweet. "Scare you?"
A laugh is surprised out of Robert, and he takes a quick drag on his fag, lets the smoke curl out of his mouth before he answers. "Maybe a bit."
"I'm Aaron," Aaron says, unprompted. He rolls up onto the balls of his feet and reaches for Robert. Robert's not sure what he's doing, tries not to move when Aaron's hand digs into the pocket of his trousers, hand warm through denim, and pulls Robert's cigarettes out. "Bum a smoke?"
"Sure."
"Cheers." Aaron's already got one in his mouth, the butt pushing prettily against his bottom lip. He leans in closer than necessary for Robert to light it, his breath hot on Robert's neck. Robert wants to put his hands on Aaron's hips, wants to slide his hand down his back and grip Aaron's bum and squeeze. "So who're you then?"
"Ah, " Robert replies, somewhat caught off guard by the question. He'd forgot for a moment that he's talking to someone he doesn't actually know. "Robert.".
"Ah, Robert," Aaron repeats, amused smile pulling at his lips. He's beautiful. "Had enough of the party?"
"No," Robert says. He can never have enough of the party, really. He thrives off that sort of scene, all those people and all those bodies, the endorphins and the sweat and the sex. "What about you?"
Aaron tilts his head, exhales into the wind. He's cold, goose bumps on his skin and little shivers running through him, an arm wrapped around his middle. Robert's feeling overly warm himself, so he shrugs out of his jumper and drapes it over Aaron's shoulders. He's immediately glad he thought to, because the smile Aaron gives him makes his knees weak.
"Such a gentleman," Aaron teases, but he shifts his fag from hand to hand so he can pull it over his head and get his arms in the sleeves. It's huge on him, the sleeves too long and the neckline nearly falling off his shoulder and Robert has no idea why he finds it so attractive but he does.
"I try to be," Robert says honestly. He doesn't really feel like smoking anymore, drops his fag to the ground and toes it out. Aaron raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment. "You never answered my question."
"Right," Aaron says, smiling again. "I think I'm about sick of the party. Drinks are shit."
"We could go back to mine." Robert has no idea what makes him say it, but he's glad for once that his mouth moves without permission from his brain. Aaron looks a little shocked at the invitation and Robert likes to him taken by surprise like that. "I'm very good at mixing drinks. Good drinks, even."
"Yeah?" Aaron asks.
"Yeah," Robert shrugs and thumbs at his nose like he tough, no big deal, looks at Aaron through his eyelashes. The wind is blowing and Aaron's hair isn't moving an inch. "'ve got a degree in it. Bartending. Drink mixing."
Aaron laughs around his fag, coughs lightly. "I bet it's a doctorate," he says. "I bet you're a doctor of bartending and drink mixing. Dr. Robert…"
"Sugden."
"Dr. Robert Sugden. Ph.D."
"M.D.," Robert correct.
"Oh right, of course," Aaron says knowledgably. "Because fine alcohol is a medical necessity."
"Ten CCs of vodka, stat."
And Aaron is grinning, dropping his unfinished fag on the ground too. He swaggers a little bit closer, until there's nearly no space between them.
"How old are you, Robert Sugden?"
"Nineteen," Robert answers, thinking about what Ella told him inside, but Aaron doesn't look disappointed.
"Nineteen and already a doctor. Impressive."
"I'm very advanced. How old are you?"
"Twenty-one."
"You don't look it."
Aaron snorts. "I know." He pushes his fingers back through his hair and looks up at Robert through his eyelashes. He's lovely, all of him, wrapped in Robert's jumper. "I'm going to kiss you now."
Robert wets his lips nervously, nods. "Okay."
And Aaron does, puts both hands on Robert's cheeks and slants their mouths together. It's slow and sweet and exploratory, like Aaron is testing him, and Robert is nothing if not good at tests. He grips Aaron by the hips and pulls him in until they're a long line pressed together belly to knees. He licks across the seam of Aaron's mouth, presses his tongue in when Aaron parts his lips and Aaron inhales sharply, threads his fingers into Robert's hair and tilts his head so the angle is better. He tastes like alcohol and sugar and heat and even though Aaron is pressing him back into the wall, is sliding his thigh between Robert's knees and sucking on Robert's tongue like he can't get enough of it, there's something naturally submissive about him. Robert guides him through touch, his big hand on Aaron's slender back, his fingers tugging at Aaron's hair until Aaron tilts his head back and Robert laps one last time at the roof of Aaron's mouth, retracts his tongue but just so he can sink his teeth into Aaron's bottom lip until Aaron moans for him.
When Aaron pulls his head back, it's not by much, and he's looking up at Robert with a heavy-lidded, pleased gaze. He trails his fingers over the shells of Robert's ears and Robert's mouth feels bruised and raw. He palms over Aaron's stomach, back around to his hip. He's breathing heavy.
"You're leaving with someone else tonight."
Ella. Of course, Robert'd forgotten. He looks back around at the door. She's probably waiting on him, wondering if he ditched her and he feels guilty. "Right."
"I'd offer to join in, but I only swing one way, mate."
Robert swallows. All he really wants to do is go in, tell Ella that something's come up, pack Aaron into his car and take him home. But he's not that kind of guy, no matter how much he wishes right now that he was.
"Right," he repeats. "I should..."
Aaron is smiling as he steps back. His hair is even more of a mess than before. He plucks Robert's phone out of his pocket and flicks it on, taps at the screen for a minute and then hands it back. "Go on, Dr. Sugden," he says, already turning like he's going to walk away. "Enjoy your night."
"My jumper," Robert says stupidly. Aaron looks back at him.
"I'll keep this for now. Keep an eye on it. Feels nice on me."
"Looks nice on you," Robert agrees. Aaron smiles like Robert just gave him a few million pounds and Robert wants to fuck him right up against the wall.
"Ring me tomorrow. I believe you owe me drinks."
Robert can't keep the grin off his face. He clutches his mobile close to his chest like a security blanket. "Tomorrow, then."
"Tomorrow," Aaron agrees. "G'night, Robert."
"Night, Aaron."
He watches Aaron walk around the building until he turns the corner out of sight. Safely alone, Robert lifts his fingers to his tingling lips.
Back inside, Ella is waiting for him at the entrance, looking gorgeous and smiling quite prettily at him, and he's already flushed with heat and want. She holds out her hand and he takes it, smiling, and leads her to his car.
When Robert wakes up the next morning, Ella is gone and there's a sticky note stuck to his forehead that says Thx for a great night. – Ella. Robert grins, tosses the note into the trash can under his nightstand and stretches hugely, yawning. His head is still pleasantly buzzy with sleep and he's sore and sated. Ella was good, a lot of fun and enthusiasm and Robert feels relaxed and comfortably zen with the world.
He tugs on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, grabs his mobile off the bedside table and pads into the living room, utterly unsurprised to find Pete, Ross and Finn sitting around his dining table eating breakfast.
"Did you wait until she was gone, at least?" Robert asks them. It smells wonderful, and he drops into the chair between Pete and Finn to pile his own plate high with eggs and sausages. It's one of Pete's latent talents, cooking, and Robert's almost all right with him using Robert's food if it means he gets breakfast cooked for him.
"Of course," Pete answers, mock-offended. "What d'you think we are, perverts?"
"Yes," Robert says. Pete lobs a piece of bacon at him and Robert catches it, adds it to the growing stack on his plate. Finn's plate is already nearly empty, and Ross's is, so he sits sipping at his coffee and reading the paper, because he's really an old man. Pete, of course, is on his second helping. Robert steals the butter from him and slathers his own plate in it. He's starving.
Naturally, Finn waits until Robert's mouth is full to bursting before he says, overly-casual, "Stepped outside to find you last night, tell you your date was about to leave without you. Saw you'd found another."
Robert gawps at him, feels his ears redden. He tries to chew as fast as he can before the others can start in, but his mouth is too full. It's a losing battle.
"What?" Pete asks, looking oddly proud. "Double dipping? Robert!"
"S'not like that!" Robert tries to say, but it comes out 'Saw hoh ah" and they ignore him.
"Who was it?" Pete presses on. "The first girl...the one he was dancing with when we got there? Or that big bloke?"
"No, was a smaller guy. I couldn't see his face since it was sucking on Robert's."
Ross makes a face and Pete whips his head around to look at Robert. Pete is possibly the nosiest person in the world. Robert swallows so much food at once that it actually hurts. "Face-sucking?" Pete says. "Really?"
"You're a class act," Robert tells Finn, pretending he's not choking a little. He takes a few gulps of Finn's water.
"S'what it looked like from where I was standing," Finn says, shrugging. "Like he was trying to crawl inside your mouth."
"Who?" Pete demands, laughing. Robert sends a desperate look at Ross, who simply smiles benignly and takes another sip of coffee. Traitor.
"Just a bloke," Robert answers finally. "That guy Ella's friend pointed out."
"The pretty one?" Pete asks. "Looked a bit like River Phoenix?"
"Yeah, him. He's called Aaron."
"Hm," says Pete, and it sounds so uncharacteristically judgmental that Robert frowns at him.
"What?"
"Brittany told me some stuff about him is all. But it's probably just people talking, yeah?"
"What'd she tell you?" Finn asks.
"Finn," Ross says disapprovingly, but Finn just levels a look at him and Ross sighs helplessly.
"Just that he's always hanging around these older men that kind of, like, parade him around. Like an escort or something."
"An escort?" Robert repeats, and even Finn snorts derisively. Ross sighs loudly again and starts to clean up their plates. Robert would normally help, but just thinking about Aaron is making him want to call him up and have him come round right now. He wants to hear what else Brittany told Pete.
"It's just a shoddy part of town and he's there a lot with older men. It's just people talking."
"So she thinks he's a prostitute?"
"That was the implication, yeah," Pete says, and shrugs again.
Robert frowns thoughtfully. Aaron certainly hadn't come across that way to him at all.
"I wouldn't look too much into it mate," Ross says from the kitchen, where he's loading their sticky plates into the dishwasher. He looks at them over the counter sagely. "When I was sixteen I worked at a country club and there were these old men who were a bit…well, flirty, I suppose."
"Really?" Robert asks, mildly surprised. Ross's such a good boy, Robert can't quite imagine it.
"S'true," Finn says, frowning.
"Yeah, it was harmless, y'know. They were just…But anyway, I was the youngest and gay and the other staff gave me a hard time about it, started rumors that I was getting tips with my mouth and that sort of thing."
"Jesus, Li," Robert murmurs, feeling horrified.
"People just like to talk, is my point," Ross says, rolling his eyes and smiling sweetly at Robert's concern. "Nothing happened to me, Rob. It was just a summer job and I got to go home to Finn every day. I'm just telling you not to believe everything you hear. And you either," he points at Pete sternly.
"I didn't believe her!" says Pete.
"Well, whatever the case," Robert says, decision already made, "I'm going to call him. I liked him and I want to see him. He didn't tell me what he cost when we were snogging, so until he does I'm going to assume he's not a hooker, all right?"
Pete claps him on the back. "Right on, Robza."
"You should bring him by the pub," Finn offers. He's leaning back in his chair, looking very sleepy. "I'm working all week, an' Li's playing tonight and the day after tomorrow. We need to meet your new beau."
"He's not my new—"
"We have to make sure if he's good enough for you," Ross adds, as though Robert hadn't spoken.
"You are a bit of a slut. It wouldn't be bad idea to run them through a filter before you sleep with them," says Pete.
"I hate you all," says Robert, and he gets up to go and take a shower while the three of them laugh, thinking that he might just change the locks on his door.
'Hi, you've reached Aaron Dingle. Leave a message and I might call back.'
"Hey Aaron," Robert starts after the beep, inexplicably nervous. "It's Robert...ah, Robert Sugden, from the club last night. You told me to ring you. Ring me back at this number when you can. Erm, if you want, I mean. Yeah. See you."
He hangs up quickly before he can ramble anymore and stares hopelessly at his mobile, wondering if he always sounds like such an idiot. It's not something he wants to dwell on though, so he cuts that train of thought off quickly and makes his way into his kitchen, chugging water from the bottle in his hand. He shot up like a weed between the age of sixteen and eighteen and he only in the last year started to fill out, and he tries to work out a few times a week. He's just been to the gym for a couple hours and he's sweaty and hot and painfully hungry. He chomps his way through a protein bar and is digging around in the freezer for something sweet when his mobile rings where he left it on the dining table.
Grinning, he crosses the distance in two graceless leaps, ignores the irritable pounding on the floor from his downstairs neighbor, and feels his chest go tight and pleased at the sight of Aaron's name on the screen.
"Hullo?"
"Ah, Robert Sugden," Aaron answers, and Robert grins wide, rubbing at the back of his neck.
"Aaron," he says. "You got my message."
"Well, yes, obviously."
Robert rolls his eyes at himself. "Obviously."
"To what do I owe this pleasure? Not spending the day with your girl?"
"She's not my girl," Robert says. "And mostly my day's been spent thinking about you."
"Charmer."
"Not to mention I owe you drinks."
"That you do."
"And you've still got my jumper."
"It's very nice. Quite warm. I'm wearing it now. I think I'd rather keep it."
Robert's smiling, so wide that his face hurts a bit. "Are you busy tonight?"
"That depends," Aaron's voice is casual, teasing. Robert wonders what he's doing, where he is, if maybe he's curled up on a sofa or in a chair nearly swimming in Robert's jumper. "Why do you ask?"
"I'd like to take you out."
Aaron's quiet for a several seconds. "Out? Like on a date?"
"Exactly like that. On a proper date. And then, if things go well, possibly back to mine for those drinks I owe you."
"I'm going to call you Dr. Sugden all the way through the shag."
"Kinky."
Aaron laughs, and it's a beautiful sound. Robert wishes he could see him. "All right. You can take me on a proper date."
"Excellent! Where should I pick you up?" Robert fistpumps into the air, but he'll keep that to himself.
"Such a gentleman."
"Not really," Robert says. "After all, I do plan on feeding you drink and then taking you to bed."
"But you're buying me dinner first," says Aaron. "That makes all the difference."
"A man with low standards. I like it."
Robert can hear Aaron shifting around, the sound of fabric moving on fabric, and when he speaks Robert can tell that he's smiling.. "I'll text you my address. Pick me up at seven."
"On the dot," Robert promises.
"Mm-hm."
Aaron hangs up without another word and Robert lowers his mobile from his ear, grinning giddily.
Aaron's flat is very nice, small but cozy. He answers the door wearing tight red trousers and a t-shirt, a matching red beanie on his head. He smiles as soon as he sees Robert and Robert can't even help himself, lifts a hand to cup Aaron's face and dips his head to kiss him. Aaron makes a soft, surprised sound but opens his mouth easily for Robert's tongue and curls his fingers into the front of Robert's shirt.
"Hi," Robert breathes when the kiss breaks, head spinning. Aaron blinks at him, quirks his lips into a small smile and hooks his fingers into the gaps between two of the buttons of Robert's shirt to rub at the t-shirt he has on underneath.
"I thought the kiss came at the end of the date."
Robert strokes his thumb over the ridiculous cut of Aaron's cheekbone and reluctantly steps back. "I'm spontaneous. It's very attractive."
"It's the blonde hair, really," Aaron tells him, sighing as though it's a hardship. "The seductive power of the blonde hair."
Robert shakes them like he's in a shampoo commercial, bites his lip on a grin when Aaron laughs. It's even better with the visual.
"You look beautiful—"
"I always look beautiful. I've already agreed to let you take me to your bed. The flattery is quite unnecessary."
"S'not flattery," Robert says, still smiling. He leans in to press a chaste, sweet kiss to Aaron's lips again. "S'truth. You ready to go?"
Aaron looks like he wants to say something, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully, but then must think better of it because he simply shakes his head and takes Robert's hand when Robert offers it. Robert threads their fingers together, folds Aaron's smaller hand into his own and tugs him out the door.
"Caveman," says Aaron.
"Me Robert," Robert agrees.
Aaron locks the door to his flat one-handed and shoves his keys into his pocket, where Robert can almost make out the bulge of his phone and wallet. Robert squeezes his hand and they start down the hallway toward the stairs and the entrance, their hands linked between them.
In the car, Aaron touches everything, the dash and the console between the seats, both cup holders. He opens the compartment in the passenger door and digs around a bit in the glove box.
"Awfully nosy, aren't you?" Robert asks him.
"Mm. Did you know you've got a fiver in here?"
"Yeah, it's for luck."
Aaron looks at him, curling the note around his fingers idly. Robert can feel his gaze on the side of his face. "For luck?"
"My mum. When I first got the car she put it in there. Said her mum put a fiver in her car when she learned to drive and she never once got in a crash. When she got a new car she forgot to move it over, and got run off the road into a tree because of ice the same day."
"So you're superstitious, then."
Robert grins, shakes his head. "I believe in the power of the human mind, is all."
Aaron hums thoughtfully, and after a few seconds puts the fiver back into the glove box and closes the door with a quiet click. "You're very strange."
"Intriguingly weird," Robert corrects. Traffic is slow, but not horrible, and Robert doesn't mind the slow ride. It gives him a chance to study Aaron, who's busy looking through the receipts strewn across the floorboards. His hair is falling into his face and the seatbelt has locked up to keep him from bending forward any further. The strap across his chest and stomach, digging in just a little, is oddly appealing. He's twirling one of the drawstrings attached to the hood of striped t-shirt around one finger, his legs splayed wide so he can reach the floor between them.
"You buy a lot of books," says Aaron. "Are these for school?"
"Yeah. I just finished my first year of uni. That's why my mates and I were out last night celebrating."
"N'aww," Aaron says and Robert shoves at his shoulder, smiling despite himself when Aaron laughs. "So you're off for the summer?"
"From school, yes. I start work next week."
"A car and a job? Be still my heart."
"A part-time job," Robert says. "And nothing glamorous. Honestly. I'll be cleaning bedpans and taking care of trouble patients at the hospital."
"That sounds…awful, honestly, mate, sorry. You're a medical student then?"
"Yeah," Robert admits sheepishly. "I'm not sure what I want to specialize in, but probably neurosurgery."
Aaron's smiling at him when he looks over, blue eyes crinkled at the corners. "Then you really will be Dr. Sugden."
"Not for a long time. But someday, hopefully. What about you? Do you work?"
"Of course I work."
"Well, where?"
Aaron grins at him mysteriously, flicks a few strands of hair out of his eyes. "Maybe I'll tell you, if tonight goes well."
"Oh?"
Aaron huffs a quiet laugh. "Whatever you're thinking, I promise it's less exciting."
The restaurant isn't far from Aaron's flat, and he pulls into the first parking spot he finds and turns the car off. Aaron is hunched over again, looking out the windshield to see where they are. Robert hopes he's never been here before. "Welcome to Alfredo's."
"What is this place?" Aaron asks.
"Italian," Robert replies.
"Thanks," Aaron says dryly. Robert wiggles his eyebrows at him, leans in to kiss him and Aaron laughs into his mouth, cups his cheek and kisses him back. "Spontaneous."
"See? It is very attractive."
He doesn't wait for Aaron to respond, just unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car and walks around to open Aaron's door for him after Aaron sends him a pleading look through the window, tugging at the door handle uselessly. He looks up at Robert with a frown. "You child safety locked me into your car."
"I know, I'm sorry," Robert says, offering him a hand to help him out. Aaron takes it, gracefully unfolds himself. Robert doesn't want to stop touching him, likes the way he feels up close, likes how soft his skin is. "My mate Ross…his sister and nieces were in town a few weekends back and we took them to get ice cream. The littlest one's started opening doors whenever she can."
"That's precious. What nice boys you must be."
"Wholesome, virtuous lads. We are."
"Right. I have a feeling you left your virtue behind you a long time ago."
"Oi! Not that long ago," Robert laughs, knocking his shoulder into Aaron's as they walk toward the restaurant entrance, fingers linked. "I was sixteen."
"That's still quite young."
"How old were you, then?"
Aaron just smirks and keeps his mouth closed, and Robert wants to crowd him against the wall and lick the answers out of him. "You have to tell me some things about yourself."
"I'm a Capricorn," Aaron says.
Robert sighs like he hears Ross sometimes do with Finn, and the thought makes something warm unravel nervous and intense in his chest. He herds Aaron into the restaurant and the hostess smiles at them. "Two?"
"Hi," Robert says, smiling his most charming smile at her. "Reservation is for Sugden?"
She looks at her appointment book and Aaron elbows Robert in the stomach lightly, muttering, "Overachiever" under his breath. Robert just winks at him, which makes Aaron actually laugh in a rather unflattering manner.
"I hear you don't put out without dinner first," Robert says once they're seated. "I had to make sure you'd get fed."
"I am both classy and proper, you blonde-haired slag."
"Straight for the solar plexus!" Robert groans, petting a hand over his hair lovingly.
"Glad to see your priorities are straight."
"Well, I am a bit of a manwhore," Robert says, shrugging. Pete teases him for it a lot, but Robert's young and adventurous and it's not as though he's stupid about it. Sex is nothing Robert's ever felt ashamed about. "My eyes are lovely though."
Aaron bats his eyelashes at him, leans across the table to push his hand through Robert's hair. There are other people staring at them, but Robert doesn't care. Aaron hooks his forefingers into one tightly-spun hair near Robert's forehead and pulls gently, lets it bounce back.
"They really are," he agrees, and Robert smiles at him dopily.
They share an appetizer of something deep fried and delicious, and Robert orders lasagna and Aaron chicken parmesan and they eat and talk and Robert hopes that the hearts in his eyes aren't too visible.. Aaron is funny and bright and loud and shameless, ungodly attractive and very sweet. Robert tells him a little about uni and his plans when asked, and he manages to dig out a few more details about Aaron. He has four half-sisters that he doesn't see very much and they're all much younger. He likes to watch comedy and romance films. He loves music and wishes he could play the guitar better than he currently can. It's little things, but Robert likes knowing them about him.
Robert pays for their meal and Aaron pays the tip despite Robert's protests, and on the way out it's Aaron that slots his hand into Robert's and intertwines their fingers.
"I like your hole in the wall Italian restaurant," he tells Robert once they're outside. It's drizzling a little bit. Aaron's high cheekbones are immediately a little damp with it. "And I like that you keep a fiver from your mum in your glove box for luck."
Robert doesn't know what to say, but he's smiling. He squeezes Aaron's hand and opens the door for him again when they get to the car. When he gets in on the other side, Aaron's leaned the seat back a bit and has an arm slung on the headrest above his head, his fingertips brushing his cheekbone. He parts his legs, just enough to make Robert notice, and hums contently.
"What're you doing?" Robert asks.
Aaron looks at him through heavy-lidded, lust-darkened blue eyes. "Resting. I've got a feeling it's going to be a very exhausting night."
"This is nice."
Robert grins, shutting the door behind him and twisting the lock into place. Aaron's already poking around the living room with a curious expression on his pretty face. Robert wants to strip him down and fuck him 'til he cries from how good it is. He drops his keys and wallet onto the small table just inside the door and steps into the kitchen to pour some wine. Aaron follows, leaning in the doorway. His eyes are heavy-lidded and his mouth is pink and lovely. His hand is small when it curls around the glass Robert hands him.
"My parents are paying for most of it," he admits. "All dependent on how well I do in school. I've been threatened with having to live in student housing if I don't do well."
"That would be tragic," Aaron sighs. Robert watches hi Adam's apple rise and fall as he takes a drink of wine, and rather classlessly drinks his own down in one go. Aaron quirks an eyebrow and Robert sets his glass down, takes Aaron's from him, and tugs him in by his belt loops, which makes Aaron complain noisily.
"Hauling me around all the time, Sugden."
"Hadn't we already decided that I'm a caveman? I like that you're smaller than me."
Aaron blinks, and then laughs, startled. "What?"
Robert takes both of Aaron's little hands, folds them into his own and brings them both up to graze his lips over the knuckles. "I like that you're smaller," he repeats, and kisses Aaron chastely before he can interrupt. "You fit just right against me. Can do this." And he picks Aaron up, grins at the little cry of surprise that Aaron makes and gets his arms under Aaron's bum to hold him, Aaron's knees gripping tightly at his waist, feet knocking against the side of Robert's knees. His lips are parted and his cheeks red.
"All right," he says weakly. "All right, I suppose there is something a bit hot about it."
Robert wets his lips, grins, walks Aaron backward to set him down on the counter next to the wine glasses. Aaron immediately wraps his legs around Robert's waist and Robert cups his neck in both hands, thumbs at the hinges of Aaron's jaw. Aaron curls his hands into Robert's shirt and tilts his head back and Robert's heart hurts at the sight of it, of how intrinsically submissive Aaron is, his body reacting beautifully to Robert's every touch. Robert trails his fingers up the side of Aaron's face, thumbs at his full bottom lip and brushes across the sweep of Aaron's long eyelashes.
"You look like you're going to eat me," Aaron drawls, and Robert kisses him, bites at his lip and sucks Aaron's tongue into his mouth, drags his fingers back through Aaron's hair, down his back and to his spectacular round arse.
"Want to do so many things to you," he whispers, lips at Aaron's ear, heart pounding and Aaron's knuckles digging into his sides.
Aaron tightens his legs. "We've got time."
And then they're kissing again, Aaron's mouth open and sweet with wine when Robert licks his way inside. He steps out of his own shoes, kicks them away across the kitchen floor and gropes around behind his back to get at Aaron's Toms and tug them off too. They hit the hardwood with a loud clunk. Aaron slides the tip of his tongue up the vein on the underside of Robert's and Robert groans picks Aaron up again.
"Fuck," Aaron breathes, breaking the kiss and clutching at Robert's shoulders and Robert wants to tell him that he won't drop him but Aaron's teeth sink into the side of his neck and he moans brokenly instead. "So fucking hot, Robert."
"See? I like that you're smaller than me, you like to be manhandled, it all works out."
"Our kinks align."
"Mm, like the stars."
"Jesus." Aaron is laughing at him, but Robert catches his mouth and shuts him up quite effectively, so it's all right. Aaron is squirmy and demanding, his hands on Robert's back and his tongue in Robert's mouth and his heels digging into Robert's arse. He clenches his fingers in Robert's hair, breaks the kiss to catch his breath and breathes hot and open-mouthed against Robert's cheek.
Robert nuzzles at Aaron's neck, pushes him back against the wall next to the kitchen light switch. Aaron drops his legs and Robert reluctantly lets him down, breath catching in his throat when Aaron smirks up at him and sinks to his knees, sitting back on his heels. He hooks two fingers into one of Robert's belt loops and palms the hard line of Robert's cock through his trousers with the other. Robert's so hard already and Aaron's hand is burning hot through the fabric. He tips his hips into it and Aaron's digs the heel of his hand into the base, slides his palm down and squeezes.
"Nn," Robert offers helpfully, carding his fingers through Aaron's hair.
"You're big," Aaron says, voice smooth and hot and the smirk on his face one of the filthiest things Robert's ever seen in his life. "You're really, really big."
"I am reasonably well-endowed, yes, can you—?"
He cuts off with a loud curse as Aaron leans forward and latches on his with his mouth, his kiss-bruised, swollen mouth open and painfully scorching through the layers of Robert's trousers and pants. When the flat of his tongue laps a long line over denim Robert pulls on Aaron's hair harshly and feels his eyes roll back at the sound Aaron makes, this desperate, guttural moan like nothing has ever felt better.
"Like to be manhandled and a bit of a masochist, too, are we?"
"I want you to fuck my mouth," Aaron replies. "Can we do that?"
Robert drops to his knees and pulls his hair again, forces Aaron's head back and crushes their mouths together. He gets his hand between Aaron's legs and rubs him roughly through his trousers, feels him thick and hot against his palm and Aaron's whole body shudders with it. Robert wants to see his face screwed up in ecstasy, wants to hear Aaron cry out for him in a voice rough from choking on Robert's cock.
"We can do that," Robert mumbles into his mouth and shoves one of his hands down the back of Aaron's trousers, squeezes his firm, round bum. "Take your clothes off."
But even as he orders it, Robert's tugging at Aaron's shirt before Aaron gets a chance to. Aaron stretches his arms up and Robert peels it off him, overwhelmingly endeared and aroused by the way Aaron's hair comes out all tousled. He stands up and hauls Aaron up too, shoves at his trousers as soon as Aaron gets them undone and grips Aaron's hand to steady him as he steps out of them. His briefs are wet with precome and obscenely tented and they stretch so nicely over the curve of Aaron's arse but he only has a second to appreciate it as Aaron shimmies out of those too.
Robert doesn't let himself look yet, gets an arm around Aaron's waist and hauls him in to kiss him again. It's wet and sloppy and violent, Aaron's teeth tugging at his lip, his hands clawed in Robert's hair. Robert palms his bare ass, dips his fingers into the cleft. Aaron is even smaller like this, completely bare in Robert's kitchen, against Robert's clothes. Aaron's stepping on his feet and Robert can feel his toes curl in, can feel Aaron grunt softly against his mouth when Robert's finger prods dry at the rim of his hole, just feeling, just pressure.
They make their way slowly through the living room, stumbling together. Aaron laughing when they knock into the bookshelf against the wall right by the bedroom doorway. Robert grins against his neck, a dark bruise already forming over Aaron's pulse point.
"Want you so bad," Robert growls, walking Aaron backwards through the threshold. It's dark, too dark to see and Robert wants to see everything. He picks Aaron up again and carries him the last few feet to the bed, more gentle as he eases him down onto his back and climbs up over him. Aaron's undoing Robert trousers and sucking a mark onto Robert's collarbone while Robert stretches past him to turn on the bedside lamp. He cradles the back of Aaron's head in his hand, fingers his soft hair as his eyes adjust.
"Tell me what you like, Dr. Sugden," Aaron says against his chest, smearing his lips back up, over Robert's throat where he nips at his Adam's apple and then to his chin. "Tell me what to do."
Robert's braced with his arm by Aaron's head on the mattress and Aaron's hand is in his trousers, under his boxer-briefs and on his cock. Robert's so turned on he feels like he might burst into flame at any minute. He looks down at Aaron's pink-flushed face and feels a thick pearl of pre-come blurt over Aaron's fingers. Aaron tilts his head back to see him better, tongue swiping across his lips.
"You're awfully mouthy."
"I have a beautiful voice."
Robert laughs, kisses Aaron's once before he sits up to get his trousers and pants off. Aaron is watching him hungrily, blue eyes Roby with want and breath coming in little pants, his gaze locked on Robert's cock as it's freed, bouncing up to slap wetly against Robert's belly. Robert wiggles around to get his legs free. When he turns back around Aaron is propped up against the pillows and his dick is pink and thick and hard, pooling precome on his stomach
"I like the idea you had earlier," Robert finally answers, crawling forward to straddle Aaron's chest. He hisses when Aaron grips his hips and nuzzles at his cock, his cheekbone getting wet. He strokes Aaron's hair, digs his fingers into the hinge of his jaw until Aaron's mouth opens. "About fucking your mouth."
Aaron groans hotly, laps at the head of Robert's cock. "You're so big, fucking huge."
"The eyes aren't my only selling point, love," Robert offers weakly. Aaron grins up at him so sweetly, eyes big and wide and Robert's pretty sure it's done on purpose but he's just so fucking pretty, Aaron is.
"Pull my hair," Aaron commands, his lips right at the head of Robert's dick, small hand wrapping around the base. "Pull my hair and let me taste you."
He asked so nicely. Robert bites his lip and rolls his hips a bit, nudges his cock against Aaron's lips and watches them part for it. Aaron opens right up, tongue lapping at the underside. Robert tries to go slow, teeth digging harder into his lip as he shoves in further, inch by inch, but Aaron is having none of it. His mouth is relaxed and tight and wet and he's so good at this, the way his tongue digs into the slit when he pulls up, the mouths his way back down, and he takes Robert in deeper than anyone ever has before, until his throat is fluttering around the head of Robert's cock and Robert can feel him swallow, feel the exhale from his nose in the curls at the base.
"Oh God, Aaron, look at you." He's just aware enough to be mildly shocked at how deep and rough his voice is. Aaron's eyes are barely open and his mouth is stretched so wide. Robert grips his hair and pull lightly and Aaron moans, the vibration shuddering up Robert's spine, his balls throbbing, heavy and full and nearly touching Aaron's chin. Aaron pulls back again, almost all the way off, sinks back down and up again and Robert can't bear it anymore. He grips Aaron's hair tight, pulls hard and fucks his hips forward, forces his cock into Aaron's throat, feels Aaron swallow and his throat go tight and he leans in to get his free hand around Aaron's neck, his grip loose, just want to feel.
Everything is blurry and intense and Robert's slowly losing his mind, driving into Aaron's throat again and again, pulling at Aaron's hair long enough that his own scalp stings in sympathy but all Aaron does is moan like a slut for it, pulling against the hold, cheeks hollowing as he sucks Robert. Robert's head is spinning, his chest aching and orgasm curling low and demanding in his belly. His thighs are aching with the strain and forces Aaron's head further back, leans over him to brace his arm on the wall above the headboard. Aaron's cups his balls, squeezes and that's it. Robert pulls back just far enough to keep Aaron from choking and comes with a shout, hips jerking and shuddering, pleasure overwhelming and so painfully hot and he can feel Aaron swallowing against his hand.
He collapses backwards after, breathing hard and barely able to see past the daze of how good it feels. Aaron climbs over top him, looking decidedly smug, and Robert pulls him down by the chin to kiss him and tastes himself in Aaron's mouth.
"I'm so glad I met you," Robert says. Aaron hums and straddles his lap and Robert pulls his knees up so Aaron can lean back against him. He has a scar on his chest, right over his sternum, long and sweeping up to one of his nipples. It looks old and Robert wonders where he got. He traces his fingers out it, then drops his hand down to Aaron's lap and the thick throb of his cock. Aaron makes a soft little ungh noise, rubs his arse back against Robert's cock and fucks into Robert's hand.
"Say something. Let me hear you."
"Robert," Aaron says, and his voice sounds like it's been fucked, sounds raw and hoarse. Robert surges up, wraps both arms tight around Aaron and kisses him stupid. He gets his hand around Aaron's cock and wanks him roughly, twisting at the tip, squeezing at the base. Aaron is babbling into his mouth, things like good and need and just like that. Robert kisses his way down Aaron's neck, tweaks his nipple with his free hand. Aaron buries his face in Robert's hair and ruts against him, rubbing into Robert's hand and against Robert's abs and when Robert lets go of his dick to reach two fingers back and rub them over his taint Aaron seizes up and spills hot and wet between them, cock jerking. Robert watches, his forehead against Aaron's shoulder. He watches Aaron's come spill out of his hand and groans into the feel of Aaron's blunt fingernails digging into his back.
He's nineteen, can feel arousal seeping in through his pores, his cock already fattening up again, Aaron's arse riding over it as he humps through the waves of his orgasm. Robert strokes his hands down Aaron's sweaty back, kisses his shoulder as he comes down. There's another scar on his inner thigh and it looks glossy under sweat and come. Robert thumbs over it, feels Aaron shiver. He smiles against Aaron's collarbone and only pulls back once Aaron lifts his head.
He's beautiful, expression serene and eyes still glazed. He fingers the hair at the back of Robert's neck and arches his back in a long, luxurious stretch. Robert wants to fuck him.
"On your belly," he tells Aaron, palming over Aaron's stomach. He lowers his knees so Aaron can slide off and Aaron is so warm and pliant and God, Robert doesn't know why he's so turned on by how much littler Aaron is but it's something breathtaking and hot, the way his hand can cover the entire expanse of Aaron's back, the way Aaron's shoulders fit into the frame of his own. Robert grips his arms, grinning when he tosses Aaron gracelessly onto his stomach and Aaron laughs breathily.
He digs around in his bedside table for a condom and lube, and it's not until he comes back that he notices the marks on Aaron's back and he feels something like dread threaten. Aaron's utterly boneless, head pillowed on his folded arms, blinking sleepily, his legs spread just a bit and his pelvis moving in tiny circles against the mattress, and Robert would tease him for it but his voice is stuck.
They're small and circular but nearly black, five of them all together, three between his shoulder blades, one right next to his spine further down and one on his side near his hip. There are others, too, scar tissue like paint strokes across his back, some jagged and oddly shaped, some just bright white lines on his tan skin, spread out over his entire back like confetti and this doesn't seem quite so much like Aaron might've been a clumsy kid anymore.
He wants to ask what they're from, but he's only known Aaron for a day, and it's really none of his business. They're old scars.
"Robert?" Aaron asks, lifting his head too look at Robert over his shoulder. Robert grins at him, leans over to kiss him.
"Just admiring the view," he rasps, and sits back to do just that, because Aaron's arse truly is something to appreciate. Possibly should be on display in the Louvre, the single most fantastic bum Robert has ever seen (and he's seen quite a lot). Suddenly all he wants is to get inside him. He cups each cheek in one hand, squeezes just to feel the give and Aaron moans and parts his thighs a bit more. Robert grabs the lube and slicks up his fingers and Aaron tucks his knees underneath him, presenting himself. Robert's mouth is unbearably dry.
"Can't wait to feel you in me," Aaron murmurs, half-blissed out and hard again. He tries to get a hand between his legs but Robert stops him, pins his wrists down on the pillow above his head. He's breathing hard and so fucking hot, cock aching. Aaron squirms against him, humping against thin air. "So fucking big, Rob, c'mon, c'mon."
Robert sinks one finger inside him without preamble, grins at Aaron's little cry, winces at how tight he is. He molds himself to Aaron's back and Aaron turns his head, opens his pretty swollen mouth and Robert presses his tongue inside. Aaron still tastes like his come and it makes something possessive and hungry rise up in Robert's chest. He hooks his finger, rubs the tip over Aaron's prostate and Aaron cries out, breaks the kiss and rocks back into Robert's hand. Robert presses against his rim with a second finger. Aaron mewls and Robert pushes two fingers of his other hand into Aaron's mouth, making soft, encouraging noises into Aaron ear.
Aaron's clenching around his fingers, riding them, moaning helplessly around Robert's fingers and driving his tongue up between them. Robert pulls them out and leaves a wet trail down Aaron's chest and to one of his nipples, which he pinches and tugs until Aaron is pressing into that, too. He pushes another finger inside, spreads them all out wide until Aaron's gasping for breath and then corkscrews them in, scraping his knuckles over Aaron's prostate again and again until Aaron is breathing in dry sobs and his hair is damp with sweat at the temples and fringe.
"Fuck me, Robert, Jesus you great bleeding tease just—" His voice dissolves when Robert adds a fourth finger and he turns his head and sinks his teeth into the meat of Robert's arm.
Robert withdraws his fingers and his hands are shaking with anticipation as he rolls the condom on. Aaron's looking over his shoulder again and he looks desperate and kind of wrecked and Robert wants to fuck him up some more, wants to rip him wide open so he's bare for Robert to see. Aaron's lying down with his arse in the air, his face red and the flush crawling all the way down his chest and back, his hole wet with lube and his cock hard between his legs and he's so fucking gorgeous.
When he lines up, Aaron goes tense and Robert plants a hand between his shoulder blades and uses his other to guide himself in. There's nothing but resistance at first as he pushes the head inside and the sight of Aaron's hole stretching around him wider and wider has him panting, grunting, teeth sunk into his lip. Once the head is all the way in though he just opens, pulling Robert's cock right in and it's so unbearably tight that it kind of hurts. He stops halfway, gasping, and folds down over Aaron's back again. Aaron's trembling, hands clenched in the sheets. Robert slots their fingers together, pins Aaron's hand down.
"Jesus," is all he can say. "Jesus, Aaron, so fucking—"
"Yes," Aaron groans tightly, voice all locked up and choked. "God, fuck, God."
"Poetic," Robert grins, and shoves in another inch, his eyes rolling back in his head as Aaron clenches so tight around him. Aaron turns his head and they get caught up in a sloppy, wet kiss. Once he's all the way in, balls pressed up tight to Aaron's ass, he stills, panting. Aaron nips at his chin and then lets his head drop, braced up on his elbows. Robert mouths at the dip of his neck and bites at the sweaty hair at the nape of his neck, pulls out a bit only to drive hard back in.
"Okay?" he asks.
"Fuck, yes, yes," Aaron gasps. "Just. Keep going."
Robert grinds his way back in, pulls out and does it again, Aaron's ass clutching at him, pulling him in, squeezing him. He covers Aaron's entire body like this. "Gonna make you come just like this," he growls into Aaron's ear, but his hand is gentle on Aaron's hip, thumb rubbing over smooth scar tissue at the base of his spine. "Gonna make you come on my cock just like this."
"Robert," is all Aaron says, a long, drawn-out moan of a sound that makes Robert thrust into him harder, so hard that Aaron cries out, clenches his hands in the sheets. Robert fucks him deep and Aaron's pushing back into every drive, filthy, hot noises ripped out of his throat, past his bitten lips. Robert licks the sweat from his neck, mouths at the hair just behind Aaron's ear. The clutch of Aaron's body almost hurts it's so good and he's not going to last much longer.
Aaron is chanting his name like a fucking prayer and Robert pulls almost all the way out and changes the angle when he thrust back in and Aaron cries out so loud it's startling and hot and Robert smirks. He keeps going like that, nailing Aaron's prostate each time until Aaron gulping for air and swearing into his hands, and then he works a hand between them, presses his fingers against Aaron's stretched hole and Aaron chokes and comes, sobbing with it, tightening like a vice around Robert's dick until Robert can't even move anymore. He can smell Aaron's come and feel it when he reaches down to jack him through it, licking Aaron's oversensitised cries out of his mouth as he pumps him. He lasts another thirty seconds of just grinding into Aaron as deep as he can before his orgasm catches him up in waves and throws him over the edge.
The world is kind of spinning by the time he opens his eyes, and Aaron is trembling under him. He kisses Aaron's back and pulls out carefully, smiles at the soft whine of protest. He gets rid of the condom and guides Aaron to roll back over. Aaron's shaky and smiley, breathing hard, hair a wreck. Robert kisses his mouth and his chest and his tummy, then grips his arse and buries his face between Aaron's legs, takes Aaron into his mouth and buries three fingers back inside him until Aaron writhing and begging and coming again, spilling down Robert's throat.
He has tears of exertion on his face, rolling back into his hair when Robert crawls back over him. Robert thumbs them away and kisses Aaron sweetly, pulls Aaron up into his arms and rolls onto his back, settling Aaron over him. He tucks Aaron's head into his neck and draws hapless shapes across his back, sleepy and sated and terribly pleased with himself.
After a while, Aaron lifts his head and looks down at Robert, a tired smile on his face.
"I think you'll be a very successful doctor," he says. His voice still sounds raw from Robert's cock in his throat. Robert feels the scars on his back, grins up at him.
"Stay here tonight."
Aaron makes a little smacking sound with his tongue against the roof of his mouth and drops back down onto Robert's chest, smoothing his palms up and down Robert's sides. "Couldn't leave if I tried, mate. Gonna be walking funny for days. Your cock is obscene."
"I like the way you say 'cock'."
"You would."
Robert hugs Aaron in closer and buries his face in Aaron's messy hair, breathes him in, doesn't let him go.
He's unceremoniously woken up by a loud crash and strangled yelp coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the ensuite. He bolts upright in bed, wide-eyed and confused. The digital clock says that it's only six-thirty and there's a notably empty spot next to him.
"Aaron?" he calls, worried, untangling himself from the blankets as quickly as possible.
"Yeah, shit, sorry," Aaron calls back from the bathroom. Robert lets out a relieved breath and tugs the comforter off the bed, wrapping it around his shoulders to stave off the cold. He's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when he gets to the bathroom door. Aaron is wearing a pair of Robert's boxers that hang indecently low on his hips and the shirt Robert was wearing last night. It hangs off of his shoulder and all but swallows him, the sleeves nearly down to his fingertips. He's soaked with water from the tap. The small shelf that Robert uses to keep clean towels in is upturned on the floor and the air conditioning is coming out of the vent in the floor full blast. His fringe plastered to his face and his skin goose pimpled, his teeth chattering a little. Robert feels everything in him go soft and fond and he opens his arms.
"I'm wet," Aaron says.
"C'mere, you're freezing," says Robert, and he pulls Aaron in anyway, catching him when he stumbles over a rolled towel and wrapping the comforter around both of them. Aaron immediately wraps around him and Robert hears a squeak come out of his mouth before he can stop it. "Christ, you're cold!"
"Shut up! God, you're so warm, lovely Robert. I'm sorry I broke your tap."
Robert grins, feeling sleepy and content. He presses his mouth to Aaron's temple and cheek and then neck, wraps him up tighter in the comforter. "You didn't. That little cover thing snapped off day before yesterday. Did the same thing to me. They're supposed to come fix it tomorrow. I forgot to warn you."
"You did it on purpose." Aaron burrows in closer, damp but warmer now with their body heat. His arms are around Robert's waist, his chin hooked over Robert's shoulder. Robert takes hold of the ends of the comforter with one hand so he can sweep his palm down Aaron's side and push the boxers down off his waist.
"I like you wearing my clothes."
Aaron grins sharply, making a hot, pleased sound in his throat when Robert shoves the damp cloth off his bum and grips his arse and squeezes. Arousal sweeps low and intense through Robert's belly, and Aaron is half-hard against him by the time he steps out of the boxers and kicks them out of the way. They're still all pressed together, both bare but for Robert's shirt on Aaron, Aaron slick with water.
"Mostly seems like you like me taking your clothes off."
"That too," Robert says. "But I like—"
"That I'm smaller than you, I know. You have a fetish."
Robert can't deny it. "Come back to bed," he murmurs against his mouth. "'s so early."
"I can't," Aaron answers, breath hitching. "Things to do today. Plans. Must keep to my schedule. God, you're good at this."
"Just a little bit longer," Robert whispers. "Just a couple hours. Let me fuck you in the shower and I'll make you breakfast before you go."
Aaron rests his head on Robert's shoulder, smiling against his skin, and says, "Okay."
"Robert's in loooooove," Pete sing-songs. Robert promptly sits on him, and Pete cackles and wraps around him octopus-like, pulling him further onto Ross and Finn's sofa. "Do I get to be the best man?"
"Shut up," Robert says primly. "I hardly know him."
"You are awfully smiley though, mate," Finn offers, settled into the armchair with a very superior look on his face. Robert tosses a bit of popcorn at him and frowns when it falls several feet short onto the coffee table.
"I had a good time, and I'm seeing him again tomorrow." Pete squeezes him tighter and Finn's lips pull into a soft smile and Robert rolls his eyes at them both. "I'm allowed to go on second dates!"
"Of course you are," Ross—sweet, wonderful Ross—says from his spot on the floor in front of the sofa. Robert reaches down and stokes his hair gratefully and Ross grins up at him. "So you like him, then?"
"Yeah, I do."
"And did you do more than fuck him senseless?" Pete asks.
"Yes," Robert pretends to sound scandalized. "So crude, Peteer."
"I'm looking out for your best interests. A relationship is built on more than a good shag."
"Great shag," Robert says. "Fucking phenomenal shag. And he's funny, too. And he can like…keep up, y'know? He has horrible taste in music and he refuses to give away too much about himself, but he's sweet and pretty and we had fun."
When he looks at his friends again, all three of them are staring at him with the same obnoxious smirk, and Robert untangles himself from Pete and crosses his arms over his chest. "Piss off, all of you."
Finn laughs and Pete pats Robert on the arm. "Anyway," he says loudly, looking at the three of them sternly. "He has to work tonight but I'm bringing him by the pub tomorrow, so you'll meet him then."
"Our little Robert," Ross says in a choked up voice. "Bringing someone to meet the family!"
Robert has several very foul responses to that, but at that moment his mobile vibrates in his pocket, and he pulls it out. 2 hrs free at 5. Early dinner at mine? Btw dinner = sex.
The others are making cooing sounds around him, but Robert can't keep the smile off his face to save his life. He types out a quick response—Yes. I expect dessert.—and sinks back into the cushy sofa, pulling his knees up to his chest.
"You're fuckin' adorable, Rob," says Finn.
At five, he spends two delicious hours with Aaron and a bowl of ice cream before Aaron is shoving him out the door so he can get back to wherever it is that he works. Robert can't stop touching him.
"I'm going to be late," Aaron complains, but he's smiling so fucking sweetly and he pushes his hands into the pockets of Robert's trousers and kisses him breathless. "Really. I have to go."
"You couldn't wait to see me," Robert says smugly, wrapping his arms around him, kissing his cheek.
"Well, you're a good fuck, aren't you?" Aaron says. He pulls away reluctantly and turns to lock the door to his flat.
"You like me," Robert says. "You like my sense of humor and my winsome blonde hair."
Aaron snorts. "I like your massive dick and your o-face."
"You can't stop thinking about me. I'm always on your mind. We had a date set for tomorrow and it was too long for you to be without me."
"I like it better when your mouth is otherwise occupied."
"Aaron."
Aaron looks around, pocketing his keys. "Mm?"
"I like you. I think you're beautiful and wonderful to be around and I like the sounds you make when you come and the way you look in my clothes and everything I know about you."
"Of course you do," Aaron says. "I'm like Mary Poppins."
"What?"
"Practically perfect in every way."
Robert laughs outright, tugs on Aaron's hands and presses their palms together, steps in so their arms are stretched out like airplane wings and their chests and the tips of their noses are touching.
"Ring me tonight when you get home."
Aaron goes cross-eyed and Robert grins. "Might be very late."
"I don't care."
"All right," Aaron says, after a long stretch of considering silence. Robert kisses him and then reluctantly lets him go, settling for simply holding Aaron's hand on the walk out. When they get to Robert's car Aaron waits until Robert's already buckled in to lean into the window and press a kiss to Robert's forehead.
"I do, you know."
"What?" Robert asks.
"Like you."
Robert positively beams at him and Aaron's smile is shy, soft. He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip and Robert has to use every ounce of willpower he has to keep from pulling him into the car and having awkwardly positioned sex right there in the car park.
He watches Aaron walk away toward the tube station and leans his head back against his seat once Aaron's out of sight. He thinks he might have found something, here. Something real and right and wonderful. He can't stop smiling. His heart is pounding, and his mouth still tastes like strawberry ice cream.
"How'd it go at the hospital?" Aaron asks Robert the next evening on the way to pub. They're walking, since it's just a few blocks away, and every other step their arms bump.
His first day of work went as smooth as it could be. His parents' old friend—an obstetrician who got Robert the internship in the first place—showed him around the hospital for a bit and then handed him off to woman named Amanda that will be his supervisor. She was nice, and she took him around to take a picture for his ID badge and then to fill out forms. The rest of his eight-hour shift was spent watching instruction films on what not to do and how not to act and general etiquette. Amanda let him go at six-thirty with a promise that the next shift will be actual work.
"It went well. A little boring orientation stuff, but I think it'll be good."
"Good," Aaron says, smiling at him. The wind is making him pink-cheeked. He's got a black beanie on to control his wild hair, though. "I'm sure you'll do well."
"Hopefully. I think I'll like it okay. It's a foot in the door, in any case. Take a right here."
He leads Aaron around the corner and then across the street, ignoring the car horn that blares angrily at them for jay walking. "Sorry, sorry. I always forget that there's a stoplight there now. Used to just be a sign so we always had the right of way."
Aaron waves a dismissive hand in the air and sidles in closer, winding his arm through Robert's. "So these friends of yours…"
"Ah, right. Well, Ross and Finn live across the hall from me and Pete is down the hall. We met on our way to the train our first day of Uni, turned out we all go to the same school. We kinda never looked back, you know? Best mates and whatnot."
"Are they all future doctors too?"
"No. Finn is engineering and Pete is law and Ross is music."
"Ross is the one who'll be singing tonight?"
"Yep!" Robert says proudly. It's hard not to be proud of Ross most of the time. "He's very good. Finn and our other friend Mary tend bar and Ross performs probably twice a week. We're all waiting for him to make it big."
Aaron looks thoughtful. "And Finn and Ross are a couple?"
Robert nods, squeezing in closer to Aaron when they pass by a huge group of girls walking too slow, also on their way to the pub. Ross tends to bring in a crowd. "Since they were sixteen or something like that. They're one of those destined in the stars, soulmate kind of couples. I used to find it very nauseating."
"Used to," Aaron repeats. Robert squeezes his hand and he blushes a bit and looks away, smiling. "You're a bit of a romantic."
"A bit," Robert agrees. "That bother you?"
"Not as much as it probably should," Aaron says, and Robert prods him sharply in the stomach where he knows Aaron is ticklish and Aaron steps on his foot.
"Why can't we all just get along?" Robert sobs, unlinking their arms to defend himself when Aaron tries to thwap him in the stomach.
They make it to the pub relatively unscathed, Aaron's beanie on Robert's head now and Aaron on his back, claiming terrible blisters from so much walking. There's already a crowd outside the pub, and Robert greets the few people he knows with a nod of his head as he sets Aaron back down on his feet and pulls him through the door. Ross's not on stage yet, but he sees Finn and Pete chatting at the bar.
"Robert!" Pete says as soon as he spots them. He's got a drink in his hand and there's a girl not too far away that's looking at him like she wants to eat him for breakfast. Robert just grins.
"Hey, Rob," Finn says without looking at him, his eyes locked to Robert's right. "You must be Aaron."
"Aaron, this is Finn," Robert says, pointing, "and that's Pete. Lads, this is Aaron."
Pete immediately wraps Aaron up in a hug, and Robert would kill him instantly except that Aaron laughs and pats him on the back. "Nice to meet you, mate!" Pete says enthusiastically. "We've heard so much about you."
"Ignore everything he ever says," Robert advises Aaron.
"I'll keep that in mind."
"How very dare you!" says Pete.
"Really," Finn tells Aaron, reaching out to shake his hand. Aaron accepts with a grin. "You should ignore everything he ever says. Crazy Irish bastard. Not to be trusted."
"I never," says Pete.
Aaron laughs, but then gets distracted by the footie jersey Pete's sporting and the two of them are off on a very passionate discussion about it. Robert quirks an eyebrow at Finn, who smiles lazily and shrugs. It feels a bit like approval.
They spend the next twenty minutes talking and it's like Aaron's been a part of the group his whole life. He gives Pete shit when Pete spills his drink all over the bar in his enthusiasm to tell a story about this one time in Soho, and he and Finn bond over clothes and lightweights. Finn's referring to him as 'Aaron' within a few minutes and Pete's standing with his arm around Aaron's shoulders and Robert didn't know how much it meant to him that his friends like Aaron until now that it's happened and the relief is a weight he didn't know he had off his shoulders.
The crowd inside starts to make a lot of noise all the sudden and Robert and Aaron both turn to see, pushing his way through people to get to them, "Ross," Aaron says.
"Yeah, that's…." But Robert trails off, because that didn't sound like a question and Aaron looks like he's going into shock. Robert's just about to ask him if he's all right when Ross stops a few feet in front of them and stares at Aaron, open-mouthed.
"Oh my god," he says.
Robert looks at Finn, who has an eyebrow raised and an expression on his face that's just as confused as Robert feels. And then Ross and Aaron both break into huge grins and when Ross opens his arms Aaron rushes into them and they hug like they've known each other their whole lives.
"Aaron Dingle is your Aaron?" Ross asks Robert over Aaron's shoulder.
"I. Yes?" Robert answers.
"I can't believe this!" Ross says, and it's as though he's read Robert's mind, though he sounds rather more happy than confused, which is what Robert is feeling in spades.
"I was thinking, when Robert was telling me about you," Aaron says once he and Ross have untangled, laughing a little. "I was thinking 'oh, hey, I used to know a Ross who liked to sing'." He turns and looks up at Robert and Robert's still completely nonplussed but he likes the way Aaron smiles and the ways Aaron tucks himself in against Robert's side. "Ross and I were in school together when we were lads."
"Aaron moved when I was fourteen, and I moved a year later."
"This feels like an episode of Friends," Pete says. "Long lost childhood friends meet-up at a pub."
Finn rolls his eyes and Ross laughs.
"We really only lived in the same neighborhood and had choir together at school," Aaron explains. "I was a year ahead of him, so we didn't have classes together or anything. He was the star, though. Robert said you're going to school for music. That's great!"
Ross grins and rubs at the back of his neck shyly, taking a seat at the bar and casually reaching out to swipe his thumb over the inside of Finn's wrist. Robert takes a seat himself and Aaron stays standing between his legs, gripping Robert's thigh. Robert likes to pretend that he's not a big believer in destiny, but he can't help feeling that all of this is a little strange. He wraps his arms around Aaron's waist, slots his thumbs into Aaron's belt loops, forearms crossed over his stomach. He hooks his chin on Aaron's shoulder and breathes in the scent of him, frilly soap and nice cologne.
"You met Finn then? Ross is saying. "And Pete?"
"Yeah, we've all been introduced."
"So you grew up in Wolverhampton?" Robert asks Aaron curiously. It feels strange that they haven't touched on this before.
"Until I was fifteen," Aaron says, and he and Ross look at each other carefully, and Ross can't hide anything to save his life, so the very real concern on his face almost makes Robert ask what's wrong, but Aaron looks up at him and is smiling. "When my parents split I moved to Doncaster. Moved to London not long after."
"I'd barely even traveled here before uni," Robert says. "This lot, too. Pete lived in Ireland his whole life and Ross and Finn met in Bradford. It was a bit overwhelming at first. And expensive."
"Robert your step-dad is like a trillionaire," Pete laughs, and Robert blushes faintly, especially when Aaron quirks a curious, slightly evil eyebrow.
"I still can appreciate how expensive something is!" he argues.
"it's all right love," Aaron says, reaching up to pat awkwardly at Robert's cheek. "You can't help it that you're young and rich and beautiful."
"Well," Robert flounders a little, buries his face in Aaron's hair and pretends that Ross and Pete aren't both laughing at him.
"Oi, look at that, will you?" Pete says suddenly, gesturing at the other end of the bar with the drink in his hand. Finn's over there filling orders and chatting with a couple of girls that are batting their eyes at him. "He gets the best tips," Pete says. "I'm too forward. So I get the best sex from this job, but Finn gets the best tips, because he's all mysterious and sexy."
"Sometimes Pete forgets that he's straight," Robert tells Aaron, who grins cheekily.
"He flirts without the follow-through," Pete goes on after a sharp tug on Robert's hair. "It's genius, really. I just don't have that kind of will power."
Robert smiles at that, and at the way Ross looks over at Finn with this expression on his face that's intense and soft and fond and so stupid in love that it would feel intrusive to look on if Robert didn't know them so well. Before Ross goes up on stage, Finn grips him by the collar of his jumper and tugs him close, kisses him rather possessively. Aaron tilts his head to watch, covering both of Robert's hands with his own at his waist, and Ross is panting a bit by the time Finn finally lets him go, but he looks pumped up and happy and they're really just absolutely disgusting, the two of them.
"Go make all these girls's knickers melt off," Finn says.
Ross grins bashfully and chuffs Finn gently under the chin with the side of his index finger, says a quick, "Be good," and then he's wading through the crowd again to take the stage. The noise is ridiculous, and Ross is adorable, rambling into the microphone. Robert's not really paying attention to him, though, is sliding off his stool to pull Aaron against him fully. Finn's got a crowd of people to make drinks for and Pete has faded into the corner with a group of girls. Aaron turns in Robert's arms, smiles slowly up at him.
"I like your friends."
"They like you too," says Robert. "S'weird that you already knew Ross though."
Aaron hums an agreement. "It's been ages since I've seen him. He looks just the same. Hotter, now, of course."
"Don't let Finn hear you say that. Possessive bastard."
"I noticed that."
"I'm not much better," Robert admits pointedly. Aaron quirks an eyebrow at him, smirking. "It's one of my few flaws."
"Your eyes make up for almost everything," Aaron says, ruffling them. "And what they can't cover your cock does."
Robert stifles a laugh, because Aaron said that quite loud and people are turning to look, but if nothing else in the last few days he's learned that Aaron is brash and loud and unapologetic and Robert finds it alarmingly attractive.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Robert asks him.
"Should I?"
"Mm. Doctor's orders."
"Ah," Aaron says, the sweet grin on his face at odds with the filthy look in his eyes. "I'm due for an examination, am I?"
"Very due," Robert agrees. "Overdue, in fact. You need extensive tests done. I'll be very thorough. It's all in your best interest."
"I suppose I can't skip out on that, can I?"
Ross sounds incredible, like he always does. Robert is pleasantly buzzed and Aaron slipping into drunk by the fifth song, and Aaron drags Robert closer to the stage so they're part of the crowd and Robert warps around him from behind, Aaron's back pressed all along his chest as they sway together. Ross's singing something a little too mainstream for Robert's tastes, something he hasn't heard before that's slow and pretty, Pete up on stage to accompany on guitar. Ross's gaze catches on them and he smiles as he sings and Robert presses his mouth to Aaron's ear.
"Why was he looking at you like that earlier? Like he was worried about you?"
Aaron doesn't ask what he means, just tilts his head up for a kiss before he answers. "My parents divorce was quite messy. Ross lived next door. I didn't get much of a chance to say goodbye before I moved. I'm a little shocked he still remembers me. It was a long time ago."
"You're very memorable," Robert tells him, and Aaron nods solemnly, biting his lip on a smile. Robert pushes his hair back, turns Aaron so they're facing each other. "I'm sorry your parents divorce was rough."
"You're sweet," says Aaron, cupping Robert's cheek. Robert turns his head to kiss his palm. He's happy. He's really, really very happy.
They help Finn close up at the end of the night, and the five of them plus Pete's on-again off-again girl Mary—another bartender at the pub—walk home together. Mary is the only one left sober, even Ross is stumbling more than he's walking and deteriorating into inexplicable fits of giggles. Robert has Aaron hitched on his back, and Aaron and Pete are singing the Canadian national anthem deafeningly, Aaron's legs squeezing at Robert's sides and his arms flailing above him. Finn and Ross are nearly in tears from laughing.
"The True North strong and freeeee!" Pete and Aaron shout. They both have quite lovely singing voices, Robert thinks.
"I can't believe I hang out with you lot," Mary says helplessly.
"I wish we didn't have to wear so many clothes all the time," Robert replies, which has nothing to do with what she said but he feels like someone should know, and he's frowning and feeling deeply affected by this. "I just. I would feel so much more without clothes on."
"The lot of us would, mate," Finn says, and then belches loudly. "Keep your kit on."
"O Canada! We stand on guard for thee!" Pete wails.
"Oh my God," Marry laughs. "Shut up! Robert, what have you brought into our ranks? This—" she points at Aaron, who is harmonizing with Pete, a hand on his chest, Robert thinks, because his elbow is kind of buried in Robert's hair. "This one is an instigator."
"I beg your pardon!" Aaron says, very offended.
She prods him in the side and he jerks and giggles, ticklish. "Look at him! Look at those cheekbones! He got Ross drunk!"
"I'm not drunk, surely," Ross says like it's a perfectly reasonable conclusion.
"You are, sweetheart," Finn nods, gripping Ross's arm tightly. "And don't call me Shirley."
Robert trips over a bump in the sidewalk, and yelps and he and Aaron go down flailing, which ends in both of them on the ground in a tangle of limbs and laughing so hard they can't breathe.
"Children. The lot of you." Mary says dryly. She's only a few years older than them. Robert wants to point that out but Aaron is squirming against him and kissing him and really, he'd rather do that anyway. "Hey, hey! You two wait until you're home, will you?"
And, just because Robert feels a bit bad for her, he complies.
It takes another twenty minutes to make it back to their flats, and Robert barely wishes the others a goodnight before he's closed the door and crowded Aaron up against it.
"Tell me what you want," Robert demands. He likes it when Aaron talks. He likes the sound of his voice.
"I want you to come on my face," Aaron answers immediately, like he's been thinking about it, and the few inhibitions he had before are out the window with the alcohol in his system. Robert moans out loud and ruts against the sharp wing of Aaron's hip. Aaron threads his fingers into his hair and bites at his earlobe. "Then I want you to fuck me. For the sake of my health. Dr. Sugden."
Robert bites at Aaron's neck and pulls him closer. "I'll give you all the doctoring you need, love."
He fucks Aaron on the living room floor until they've both got rug burn on their knees, and then again against the bedroom wall. They fall asleep tangled together, wake up in the middle of the night and Aaron is sleepy and soft and so, so sweet. Robert kisses him slow and deep and spreads him open. Aaron rolls another condom down over Robert's cock and Robert sinks into him easily and just stays buried there for a few, Aaron's legs around his waist, their chests together. They snog and fuck slow and lazy, all low-burning heat and intensity and Robert comes when Aaron does, trembling underneath him and gasping against his neck.
"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Robert asks him after they've both come down. Aaron still hasn't told him what he does. Every time Robert asks it's something new. Aaron doesn't give things up easily. Robert likes the challenge.
"No," Aaron answers. Robert goes to pull out but Aaron tightens his legs. "Stay in me a bit."
Robert's mouth goes dry. He bites his tongue and nods, easing back down, lacing their fingers together on the pillow next to Aaron's head.
"Stay over again. I only have to work a few hours in the morning. You can stay here, or hang with the lads. Be here when I get back, huh?"
"I s'pose I can do that, yeah," Aaron says. He kisses Robert very sweetly and Robert squeezes his hand. It's so late, nearly morning already. Robert has to be to work in four hours. After a bit he reluctantly disentangles himself from Aaron and gets rid of the condom. Aaron pulls him back into his arms and Robert goes willingly, eyes closing. Aaron hums quietly and plays with his hair, and Robert thinks he's never felt so content before. He thinks he might like Aaron quite a lot.
He thinks he might keep him.
The next two months pass by in a blur of summer and sex and friends and all things Aaron, who is adopted into their group so fast it's like they weren't really complete without him. They go on dates and spend days together if Robert's not working and nights together if Aaron isn't. When Robert's sister and mum visit he introduces them, and Aaron has them charmed in moments, has Robert's mum fawning all over him and Gemma halfway in love.
Robert works three to four days a week, and Aaron works a lot more than that since his job is full-time, but they don't go a day without seeing each other and Robert's having more sex than he's ever had in his life and it's hot and good and wonderful. They have clothes at each others' flats, and Robert has a head for Aaron's Sonicare toothbrush, and there's a Aaron-shaped imprint in Robert's mattress and Robert's pretty sure he's in love.
"I think things are going very well," Aaron says one morning, naked and sweaty and riding Robert's dick so fucking slow. Robert grips his hips, rocks up into him and Aaron makes a rough, punched-out noise and presses his hands harder into Robert's chest. Robert may very well kill him if he doesn't speed up, so he rolls them over, smirking at Aaron's startled yelp, and digs himself in as deep as he can, until Aaron's panting and his eyes are rolling back.
"Very well," Robert finally agrees, sucking bruises into Aaron's neck. Aaron's legs wrap around his waist and his abs contract as he rocks his hips to meet the thrust when Robert starts to drive in harder, faster.
"Fuck, babe, it's really hot when you throw me around like that."
Robert grins, nips at Aaron's swollen bottom lip and groans brokenly when Aaron clenches around him, moaning and needy. Robert lasts barely another few minutes, fucking Aaron hard enough for the headboard to bounce against the wall and Robert's neighbors probably hate it but he doesn't care. Aaron's loud and hot, voice all fucked out and filthy (fuck me Robert, harder, fill me up, so fucking big inside me feels so good gonna come on your cock gonna come make me come) and Robert's balls deep inside him and is only human. He flies over the edge, pleasure swallowing him up so sharp and sweet it makes his teeth hurt and his body throb and Aaron is spilling between them, into his own hand and all over their stomachs. Robert palms over Aaron's belly, fucking him through the waves, swallows Aaron's slurry, blissed words, licks them out of his mouth.
Later, after Robert can see straight again and he's sleepy and comfortable, head pillowed on Aaron's chest and Aaron's hands in his hair, Robert says, "It's going very well. I'm going to introduce you as my boyfriend from now on, mmkay?"
Aaron's hand stills in his hair and Robert holds his breath, exhales when it starts again, his hair twirling up around Aaron's fingers.
"Well all right then," says Aaron, and that's that.
Robert's good mate Nick has a few people around for drinks and lunch one afternoon, and a few turns into twenty or thirty which Robert is grateful for. Aaron and Nick don't really get along well. They tend to press each other's buttons and get snipey at each other, so Robert doesn't force them to spend too much time together, but Nick is a really good friend. Aaron is willing to bear his presence if it'll make Robert happy, and Robert is more than willing to abuse that. Especially at something like this, when the rest of the lads are here and Aaron can walk away when he gets annoyed.
Afternoon is curtailing into evening and Robert's tipsy, sitting in a very comfortable chair in Nick's living room. He grins lazily when Nick walks over and squeezes into the seat with him. He was one of Robert's professors at Uni. Robert did very well in that class.
"Young Harold!" Nick says solemnly. "You look very content."
Robert giggles drunkenly. "I am very content, Professor Grimshaw."
Nick smiles at him, and then gestures to the doors to the balcony, beyond which Robert spots an unmistakable quiff. "Your young man there looks awfully serious."
Robert tilts his head to see past the door frame and through the glass. Aaron is outside with Ross. They're standing quite close together, and Ross has his hand on Aaron's shoulder and is biting his bottom lip, big dark eyes worried. Ross worries about everything, but it's not the first time Robert's seen him look at Aaron like that. Aaron's face is kind of shadowed, but he's talking with his hands and he doesn't look upset or anything.
"Oo, menage a trois," Nick says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively when Finn walks up on Aaron's other side and ruffles his hair.
"Don't be a prick," Robert tells Nick. He watches Ross's lips move around the words I'm sorry and then Aaron wraps him in a hug and Ross squeezes him tightly, his hand huge on Aaron's back. Robert frowns thoughtfully, oddly concerned. When they pull away from each other, Finn says something and Aaron laughs and Ross launches himself at Finn and the world starts spinning again. Robert looks away from them just in time to brace himself for Pete dropping into his lap like a rock. Robert laughs and squeezes his arms around him.
"You five are the handsiest group of boys I've ever heard of," sniffs Nick. Robert elbows him hard enough to make him choke a bit on his wine and calls it a win.
One night near the end of August, Pete's brings Brittany to dinner, the girl he hooked up with the night Robert first met Aaron. She looks very pretty in her pale blue dress and she's very entertaining. They're at Pete's favorite restaurant, working their way through obscene amounts of Greek food, and Brittany is laughing at something Pete said and Finn is outside smoking. Ross's been at work all day long, unloading shipments of packages from other countries off of planes. It's apparently very trying manual labor, and he looks exhausted. Robert pats at his head consolingly when Ross yawns for the umpteenth time.
"There, there," he says, in a very comforting way.
Ross snorts and smiles, yawns again until his jaw cracks. "Where's Aaron tonight?"
"Working."
"Aaron?" Brittany asks curiously. She's hung out with them a few times over the last few months, though she and Pete are just friends. He doesn't think she's ever been around when Aaron's been with them, though.
"Aaron," Pete tells her, grinning. "Remember that bloke you and Ella pointed out that night? He's Rob's boyfriend now."
Brittany is the one who started the whole Aaron is a hooker rumor, but Robert's been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She looks so puzzled for so long that Robert starts to get a bit nervous, a bit annoyed. "But, isn't he…?"
"No," Pete says sternly before Robert can, in a much nicer voice than Robert would've used. "I don't know where you got that idea, love, but he's most definitely not. He and Robert have been together for months now."
"But I saw him last night," Brittany says weakly, and something cold and tight worms its way into Robert's chest. "I saw him at a restaurant by the club."
It goes deathly silent very fast. Robert feels shockingly numb. "What?"
"I'm sorry," Brittany says, and her big brown eyes only look concerned. "I thought. I didn't realize that you two were so serious. I would've warned you before. Aaron isn't…I mean, I'm sure he's a perfectly wonderful person," she finishes lamely, all of them staring at her now.
"You saw him with someone?" Ross asks delicately. He's suddenly gripping Robert's hand quite tightly.
"Yes. An older man. They were holding hands on the table. Robert, I'm so sorry, really."
She's wrong, Robert thinks, even as he rises from the table and goes outside for some air. He almost knocks Finn over, apologizes hastily. He's breathing hard.
"Rob? You all right?" Finn asks.
"Robert." That's Ross, outside now too, and Finn is looking between them worriedly and Robert just wants Ross to tell him that Brittany is an awful human being who is lying. Ross grips him by the shoulders. "It might not be what you think. You need to talk to him first."
"She's making it up," Robert says at once, determined. "She's just. She's wanted to believe it from the beginning."
But he's thinking of all the times he's asked Aaron what he does for a living and all the damn cryptic smirks he gets as a response. He thinking about how Aaron works so many nights, and how even after all this time and how well he thinks that he knows Aaron, he still doesn't really know anything about him.
"You need to talk to him," Ross repeats. "Tomorrow, all right? Or he usually calls after work. Have him come by. Tell him you need to talk to him and it can't wait."
"I can't wait," Robert agrees. He's already digging his keys out of his pockets. "I'm going to. I'm going to his flat. I'm going to wait there for him. They all know me there. It'll be fine. I'll talk to him tonight."
Ross makes a face like he's going to say something Robert doesn't want to hear, so Robert shakes him off and crosses the car park to his car at a jog. Once he's inside he can see Ross and Finn talking, Ross's lips moving and Finn's eyes getting steadily wider until his brow furrows. As he pulls out onto the road, he calls Aaron twice, but both times go straight to voicemail. It's almost eleven o'clock at night. He's not sure what song is on, something Nick let him borrow, but it's screaming and raw and Robert shuts it off harshly. His palms are sweating.
He parks illegally in front of Aaron's building, and takes the stairs because the elevator is too slow. He'll feel better once he's there, even just sitting outside Aaron's door waiting for him. But Aaron's door isn't all the way closed when Robert gets there. Robert swallows hard, walks silently down the hallway and pushes it open, takes a single step in with Aaron's name on the tip of his tongue and stops dead.
There's a handsome man at least twice Aaron's age, and he's got Aaron wrapped up in his arms and he speaking into Aaron's ear in a whisper. It's an intimate hold, possessive, his hand on Aaron's back, and Robert feels like someone just reached into him and pulled all of his insides out, laid them bare on the floor. His foot slips on the tile, squeaks, and both Aaron and the man look around at him. Aaron's eyes widen and the color drains from his face, and Robert inexplicably wants to laugh. His eyes are burning.
"Robert," Aaron breathes. He steps away from the man but Robert takes a step back.
"This is why you wouldn't tell me," Robert says, his voice more broken than he wants it to come out. "This job of yours, the acrobat and the court jester and the pastry chef and the professional milkshake taster. And all this time it was this?"
"Robert," Aaron says again. He sounds horrified, his eyes still so wide. He's so fucking gorgeous and Robert can't stand to look at him.
"I have to go."
"No, Rob, wait—"
But Robert doesn't, is already slamming the door closed behind him. He knows Aaron's going to follow him, but he can't make himself look back, make himself stop. He can barely hear the pound of his own footsteps over the roar of blood in his ears. He's got tears on his cheeks and everything hurts.
Aaron catches up to him in the car park. He's barefoot and looks panicked. Robert jerks his arm out of his grip and whirls around and finds himself momentarily frozen at the look on Aaron's face. Aaron is livid.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demands. "I told you I have to work tonight! Why are you here?!"
Robert is caught somewhere between rage and all-encompassing grief. It takes full seconds of staring at Aaron with his mouth partially open before he's able to find his voice again. "Are you. Are you actually upset with me for this?"
"You can't just waltz into my flat whenever you bloody well feel like it!"
"The door was open!" Robert shouts. His insides are tight and crumbling and it hurts. "You were too busy humping that guy to close it!"
Aaron shakes his head firmly, mouth pressed into a tight line. His eyes are hard but his hands are shaking. "Jesus Christ, Robert. You can't just—"
"I came to see you!" Robert growls, because anger is so much safer right now, so much easier to deal with than the pain that's threatening to knock him down. "Because Pete's friend said she saw you last night with someone else and I wanted to talk to you about it. Your door was open!"
"I told you I was working!" Aaron yells, but he sounds more panicked than angry now.
"They told me," Robert spits. "They told me at that club, Pete's friend, she told me that you're famous there. A famous fucking whore that picks up business there!"
Aaron rakes his fingers through his hair, hands curled into claws that tug viciously. He's very pale. "It's not what you think," he chokes. "Robert, it's not. It's not—"
"So what was that then?!" Robert shouts. "Either you're cheating on me, which is…" Robert shakes his head, wipes his hand over his mouth. "Or you've been lying to me this whole time. Has it all just been made up? What the fuck were you—Why were you—" God, he can't even finish a sentence. "I thought you were just playing! I thought you just wanted to drive me crazy with the guessing! I didn't think you were hiding something! I didn't think you were hiding this."
"Robert…"
"What?! Is he related to you? Is he your uncle? Father? Because his hand on your arse makes me doubt that!"
"He's…He's a friend. He's just an old friend."
Robert laughs deliriously, choking on tears. It hurts to breathe. "Jesus Christ, Aaron. Where did you meet him? Where did he come from?"
Aaron looks away, looks down at his feet and Robert feels his heart crumble in his chest. He feels foolish and young and naïve. "You made me trust you. You made me believe you. I'm so fucking in love you with you that I can't even see straight and you're…"
Aaron head snaps up when Robert says it, and he looks ill under the streetlight. His eyes are wet too, but he doesn't say anything.
"You still can't even answer me," Robert groans. "You can't even explain. You'd rather keep your secrets than—" He cuts himself off again, gnawing on his bottom lip. Finally, hurt and scared and wrapping anger around him like a cloak of armor, he shakes his head and opens his car door.
"Robert…"
"Go back inside, Aaron. You have a client."
For a second, Robert sees something like anger flash in Aaron's eyes. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Aaron snaps.
"I really, really don't," Robert agrees brokenly. "That's sort of the problem."
"Robert, God, please, just…just wait, okay? Come back upstairs and we'll talk, all right?"
Robert shakes his head against that temptation, but he doesn't want to hear anything Aaron has to say right now. He wants to snap at him, to say Sorry, Aaron, I clearly can't afford you, but he can't. He's not that person. He doesn't want to be that person.
"I have to go," is all he says, and gets into his car. Aaron doesn't try to stop him again, and Robert leave him there hunched in on himself in the middle of the car park. Ahead of him, all Robert can see are bright lights and a beautiful London skyscape, blurred by the tears streaming down his cheeks, and all he can think is that he's nineteen years old. He supposes that it's about time he had his heart broken.
He spends that night sobbing into Finn's chest while Finn and Ross both wrap around him in their bed, unable to even tell them what happened he's such a wreck of snot and tears and hurt. Their home is lovely and their life is lovely and they're so in love and Robert lets it wrap around him, tucked between them, Ross's hand on his belly and Finn's fingers stroking his hair and being a part of it just for a minute makes it a bit easier to breathe.
The next two days after that, he calls into work and locks himself in his flat except to go to the gym, where he works himself into exhaustion and stumbles home and falls asleep, wakes up long enough to drink copious amounts of alcohol and then go back to sleep.
By the third day, he has over fifty missed calls from Aaron, over one hundred text messages. He hasn't looked at any of them. He feels sick and wrong and horrible, and all he wants to do is forget.
On the fourth day, he wakes up from an impromptu nap around seven in the evening to find Ross stretched out next to him on his bed, stroking his hair gently. He looks worried and warm and Robert's aching to be touched, so when Ross pulls him in he goes willingly. Ross hugs him close, rolls onto his back to settle Robert against his side and Robert rests his head over the steady beat of Ross's heart. He misses Aaron so much he feels sick with it.
For a long time, Ross just holds him, strokes his hair and the back of his neck, rubs his back and hums very quietly and it's so soothing that Robert is very nearly asleep when Ross starts talking.
"Rob, I didn't tell you this before because it really isn't my story to tell."
That sounds ominous. Robert sits up slowly, winds his blanket around his shoulders. Ross sits up too so they're facing each other. "What d'you mean?" Robert asks, his voice a rough croak of sound.
"I grew up next door to Aaron, you know that."
"Yeah. He said you were there to see how ugly his parents divorce got."
"Which is true," Ross says. "But he wouldn't have told you exactly how ugly it was."
"Christ, Ross, stop with the build up. I'm so fucking tired of talking in circles, just—"
"Aaron didn't move because his parents got divorced. He and his sisters were taken away from them."
"I don't understand," says Robert, dread like a rock in his stomach.
Ross sighs sadly. "You know. By the police. For their own safety."
Robert blinks, lips parting. "Oh." It's all he can think of to say. And then he thinks of Aaron's scars. He's seen them a million times since they first met. He's never asked. "He has. He has cigarette burns on his back."
Ross winces. "That's. That's not so surprising, really. I don't know many details. My parents kept me out of it as much as possible, but there were a lot of incidents. Aaron's been loud and a bit defiant and mischievous his whole life, so it was easy to write off some of the injuries as just accidents. But his parents fought all the time. His mother was addicted to pills and I don't know about his dad but at the least he was a very angry man. The night they came and took him and his sisters from them Aaron hadn't been to school in almost a week. We..."
He breaks off, scrubbing at his mouth. The guilt on his face is almost tangible. "Ross."
Ross shakes his head slowly. "He was. He was screaming. We could hear it from my house. My dad broke in and Aaron and his dad were in the living room and his dad was going at him with the buckle end of his belt. Dad and I had to haul him off him. There was. There was so much blood. I sat with Aaron while we waited for the police and ambulance and stuff. He was in a lot of pain, not all there. He just kept apologizing for interrupting our dinner. I don't know. It was horrible. There was so much blood."
Robert's covering his mouth with his hand, thinking of the mess of scars on Aaron's back. He can feel tears rolling down his cheeks and doesn't remember when he started crying. He feels like he might be sick. Ross is staring unseeing at the wall, haunted.
"Li," he croaks. It's all he can say. Ross takes his hand and squeezes it, composes himself, and Robert's breath hitches painfully. The looks Ross kept giving Aaron at the beginning make sense now. Robert almost wishes he didn't know.
"He didn't have it easy growing up, and he didn't exactly have anyone teaching him that keeping secrets isn't the way to go. He's been by every day looking for you, and he's a wreck, Rob. I know you love him. You should cut him some slack."
It's not fair, Robert thinks, that Ross came in here and told him these things and now there's guilt and horror and soul-deep concern wilting his insides. He doesn't know what to say.
"You have every right to be mad," Ross says sternly, forcing Robert to look at him and not his hands wringing in his lap. "Keeping this from you—at the very least that he was sleeping with other people—was wrong. Don't feel guilty for how you reacted when you saw what you did. But maybe don't cut him off so quickly. Maybe let him explain."
After Ross leaves, Robert takes a shower and spends a full thirty minutes pacing his living room before he finally picks up his mobile, chooses Aaron's number from his contacts and listens to it ring.
It barely gets to the second one before Aaron answers, and his voice sounds weak and wretched when he says Robert's name and Robert misses him so much.
"Yeah," he says. His voice is shaking. His hands are shaking. "Hi, Aaron."
Aaron makes a little choked noise. "I'm. Hi. How. How are you?"
Robert chokes out a quiet laugh. "I'm a bit shit, to be honest."
"Oh," says Aaron. "Me too."
Robert bites his lip. He's afraid and he's tired and he just…if nothing else he needs closure. "Can I come over?"
"Yes," Aaron says immediately. "God, yes. Of course. Please. I'm. I miss you."
Robert scrubs a hand over his face, feels himself smile, just a bit. "I miss you, too."
The drive to Aaron's is all of twenty minutes, twenty long, long minutes. The longest twenty minutes in the history of the universe. But when Robert gets there, it takes him another ten minutes to get the courage to get out of his car, and another five after that to work up the nerve to knock on Aaron's door.
And then it opens and Aaron is right there, looking impossibly small in the jumper he stole from Robert months ago. His eyes are red and he's got dark circles underneath them. His hair looks like he's been raking his fingers through it and he looks like he hasn't slept in days and he's so completely stunning that Robert has to stop himself from reaching for him.
"Hey," Aaron murmurs. He's holding a mug of tea in his hand, and Robert can see another one steaming on the coffee table. "Come in."
Robert tries to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace, and he follows Aaron inside, sitting down on the sofa while Aaron curls himself into the chair opposite. It's awkward for the first time it's ever been between them and Robert can't stand it. He opens his mouth to tell Aaron in a very mature and soothing way that he'd like to hear Aaron's side of the story, please, so that he can figure out how he's supposed to feel because right now he doesn't know.
What comes out instead is, "Ross told me about your parents."
Aaron blinks over his tea at him, startled, and Robert fights the urge to smack himself on the face. "Oh."
"Sorry," Robert says, waving a hand at him somewhat desperately. Aaron probably thinks he's lost his mind. "He seemed to think it was relevant."
"It is," Aaron says slowly, looking down at his tea for a few moments and then back at Robert. He just looks so tired. "What did he tell you?"
"Just that you and your sisters were taken from your parents for your own safety."
Aaron nods distractedly. His hands are shaking a bit when he sets his mug onto the coffee table and tugs the sleeves of Robert's jumper down over them so just his fingertips peek out. "Yes."
"Aaron you don't have to tell me anything. You really don't, and I don't want you to feel obligated to. You don't owe me anything." Aaron flinches like Robert's hit him and Robert bites his lip, desperate and hurting and uncertain. "I just…I just need to know who that man was. Why he was here. I don't know if that will help but I can't…I just want to understand."
Aaron takes a very deep breath and exhales it slowly. He looks away, out the window, a million miles away and Robert gives him all the time he needs, his heart throbbing.
"I'm afraid if I tell you that you'll hate me," Aaron finally says, very straightforward, and it should sound melodramatic but Aaron is looking at him so seriously, legitimately afraid. Robert makes a soft sound in his throat and shakes his head furiously, dread coiling in his guts.
"No," he says, helpless. "God, Aaron, no. Nothing you could tell me could make me hate you. Nothing. I'm so in love with you. I'm just scared, and I'm angry and I'm worried, and I miss you."
Aaron's looking at him, lips slightly parted, and he looks terrified and Robert doesn't know what to say or how to help him or how to help himself. He hates feeling this way. "Rob…"
"Just tell me that he was nothing and that he doesn't matter. Just tell me something."
It takes Aaron a long time to start talking. "Pete's friend wasn't wrong. About the. About the whoring," he rolls his eyes like that makes it less serious and Robert breath catches in his throat. Aaron looks ill, shoulders hunching a bit. "My sisters were able to stay together. They were adopted and live in Doncaster with a couple who couldn't have children of their own. It was kind of a fairy tale ending for them. They're happier than they ever would've been with my parents. I get to see them every once in a while. Their parents are good people."
"What about you?" Robert asks, shocked that his voice still works, rough as it is.
"I went through a couple of foster homes. I'm really…I'm sure you've noticed I'm rather a handful sometimes." He forces his lips to pull into a self-deprecating smile. He won't meet Robert's eyes for more than a few seconds. "The last one was….bad. I ran away to London within a couple of months. My mum had been sent to a rehab facility there, and I thought I might... When I found her she couldn't remember who I was, and it had only been half a year. She'd taken pills as long as I can remember, even back when I was quite little. I think her mind just kind of broke the night my dad kind of lost it."
"Aaron," Robert says weakly, feeling utterly useless. "I'm so sorry."
"Thanks," Aaron says, smiling again, small but more sincere. "It's. I don't know. Shit happens, yeah? Anyway, I was here and alone and had nothing. After a few weeks on the streets I was getting desperate. One night a bloke in a bar offered me a hundred quid for a blow job. I was starving. I. I said yes."
"You were fifteen," is all that Robert can think of to say, and the visual is too clear in his mind, of Aaron six years younger and on his knees in some seedy alleyway. He has to swallow back the bile that rises to his throat.
"But the other night," Aaron goes on like Robert hasn't spoken and his eyes are so intense. "It wasn't like that. It hasn't been in almost a year, Robert, I promise."
Robert wants to reach across the table, take Aaron's hand, but Aaron's all tucked into himself now, arms around his middle, so Robert settles for tightening his grip on the warm mug in his hands.
"The man I was out to dinner with the other night, the one you saw me with. He's a doctor at the hospital where you've been working."
Robert blinks, lips parting and eyes going wide. "What?"
Aaron untangles one arm so he can tug nervously on his hair, watching Robert anxiously. "About ten months ago I was…hurt. A couple of blokes. I mean, they didn't seem like anything to worry about, but they injected me with something the second I was in the car and just. Things weren't consensual even by paying for it standards and they didn't use protection and just, y'know." He shrugs it off, like it's nothing, and Robert really doesn't know. Robert really doesn't want to know. "I'm the one that got in the car with them. I'm surprised it hadn't happened sooner, really. They left me in the motel room and I ended up in the hospital. I met Dr. Evans there. He and his wife took me in, helped me finish school and got me a job.
"I work at an emergency veterinary clinic, so a lot of my shifts are overnight. I only lied about it those two nights, because Dr. Evans came to visit and I didn't know how to explain. It was just a hug. He was hugging me goodbye, and you walked in. Fuck," Aaron laughs but it's dreadful and hurt. He scrubs his hand over his eyes and looks miserable. "I'd been trying so hard to keep all of it from you. When you walked in that night it was like the end of the world, you know? You were going to find out and you were going to leave as soon as you did and I was so mad at you for ruining it."
Robert's mind is spinning, his heart aching.
"I knew I wasn't going to be able to hide it forever," Aaron says, his voice very soft now. "I just…This has all been a bit like a dream. You're gorgeous and sweet and funny and I'm quite deeply in love with you. I didn't want it to end."
"But why did you think it would end?" Robert asks, shocked that his voice is still working.
Aaron grimaces, presses the pads of two fingers to his lips for a moment. "Because. Because you're future neurosurgeon Robert Sugden with this gorgeous life and these gorgeous friends and this gorgeous heart and your whole life ahead of you. And I'm this mess who's better at lying than telling the truth and who used to sell his arse for a living."
Robert wants to cry. His eyes are burning. Aaron looks so tiny. So tired. Robert thinks about the scars on his body and the way he smiles and of their first night together, wrapped in a comforter and soaking wet in the middle of Robert's bathroom. He wonders how much time Aaron's spent hating himself.
"Ross…"he starts, pauses to wet his dry lips and keeps his gaze locked on Aaron, whose blue eyes are wet. "Ross said that you didn't ever have anyone to teach you that keeping secrets is a bad thing."
Aaron swallows hard. "He was there, that night. He and his parents. I remember him sitting next to me when I was on the floor. It was really good to see him again. It's been good spending time together again. We were never like, close exacty, but he lived next door. We kind of grew up together. Small world, yeah?"
"Aaron, I don't. Why didn't you just tell me?" Because this is the part that Robert's having trouble getting past. "Not about all this, but about the job?"
"I don't really know," Aaron answers helplessly, like he's been expecting the question. "It's kind of the one question I avoided for so many years, the one thing I lied about more than anything else. I just. I don't know. I was afraid it would lead to more questions that I didn't want to answer. And this job with the clinic still feels new and real and it's mine, even if I didn't really earn my own way in. It's the first legitimate thing I've ever done. I think I just wanted to keep it mine for a while."
Robert's quiet for a long time, long enough that Aaron starts chewing on one of his fingernails and bouncing his leg nervously. Robert's mind is whirling. He feels like he's been pulled inside out. He needs to think.
"Can I stay here tonight?" he asks.
Aaron looks up at him, shocked. "Yes. God, yes, of course. I'm. You can have my room, if you want? Or I could make up the sofa?"
Robert gets up and walks around the coffee table, drops to his knees in front of Aaron's chair so he can see him better. Aaron looks terrified and hopeful and damaged. Robert takes his hands. "Wherever you're sleeping. If that's all right with you."
Aaron's smile is frail, watery. Robert stands up again and pulls him up too. They take care of their cold tea and get ready for bed in silence. Aaron takes a quick shower while Robert cleans his teeth and washes his face. He puts on a pair of his own scrubs that Aaron's stolen and taken to wearing around at home on lazy days. By the time Aaron emerges from the bathroom, Robert's lying on his usual side of Aaron's bed, waiting for him.
It's awkward for a couple of minutes. Aaron's dressed in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt but he's never been more bare. Robert strokes his cheek and his heart hurts at the sight of tears in Aaron's eyes. He pulls him into his arms just seconds before Aaron loses it, whatever careful control he had breaking. Robert gathers him in close and squeezes his eyes shut. Aaron's crying, his shoulders shaking, and Robert can't stop the pictures running through his head, imagining the things that Aaron told him, that Ross told him.
He cradles the back of Aaron's head in his hand protectively, feels Aaron's tears on his neck and Aaron's trying to be quiet and stop crying but he's so tired. Robert wonders how long it's been since he's told anyone all of this. Robert's face is wet too, and when he slips his hand under Aaron's t-shirt and touches the pads of his fingers to one of the scars from his father's belt that Aaron has on his back, Aaron rambles in an almost manic, desperate whisper, "I deserved it, I deserved it. It felt like I deserved it."
Robert turns his face into Aaron's hair. "No, Aaron," he whispers back. "You didn't deserve it. You could never, ever deserve it."
Aaron cries himself out eventually, and in the wake he's lax and still against his Robert's chest, his mouth pressed against Robert's shoulder. Robert can feel him blinking sleepily, his eyelashes light on Robert's skin. He rubs slow circles up and down Aaron's arm until his breathing goes deep and even. Robert's hand shakes when he threads his fingers into the soft tangle of Aaron's hair. He stays awake for a long time, thinking about everything that's happened in the last few months, about what Aaron told him tonight, about how he feels and what he wants quite outside from that.
Aaron. He wants Aaron.
When Aaron wakes up the next morning, Robert's already sitting up, watching him with a fond expression on his face. Aaron blinks Robily, his eyes swollen from crying, his lips chapped. Robert coaxes him to sit up, kisses his forehead and eyelids and mouth. Aaron already looks wounded, bruised, shoulders hunching like he's waiting to be rejected. Robert cups Aaron's face in both hands.
"Robert?"
Robert strokes his thumbs under Aaron's eyes. He never knew anything could hurt like seeing Aaron in pain does.
"You can't lie to me. I can take anything but that, Aaron."
"I'm sorry," Aaron says brokenly. Robert shakes his head, kisses him.
"I love you. I love you and I think you're beautiful and brilliant and you mean everything to me."
"I'm not. I'm. I'm weird and too loud and-and used and—"
"You're lovely. You're not fucking used. You were abused and you were desperate and you were fifteen," Robert says. "Not a bit of it was ever your fault."
"I—"
Robert holds the pad of his thumb over Aaron's lips. "Don't lie to me and don't hide things from me because keeping it inside just makes it hurt more and there's nothing you could tell me that would make me any less utterly, ridiculously, stupidly in love with you."
"Robert."
"I don't care, Aaron," he says earnestly. "I mean, I care that it happened and I hate that you've been hurt and that you had to go through all that, but the only thing that matters to me is how you are now. I'm sorry I went mad at you. I just. The idea of losing you is. It's hard."
"Robert."
"It'll be okay. If you want it to be. If you still want me. I think it'll be okay. We'll be okay," Robert whispers. "Trust me. I'm going to be a doctor."
Aaron hiccups a little laugh. "I love you too," is all he says. Robert tugs on his hair until he lifts his head, and Aaron cups his cheek and leans in and they're kissing again. He can taste the salt from both their tears. Aaron says, "I love you so much. I just want to be with you all the time and I've been so happy it's a bit scary and I'm so, so sorry for everything and I—"
Robert kisses him again to shut him up. They have time to sort it out later, to talk through Aaron's abandonment issues and Robert's trust issues and maybe to research some, because Aaron clearly has a terribly unhealthy attitude about the shit he's been through and probably needs some kind of counseling and Robert's pretty sure he might too and they still have a lot to talk about. But the basics are covered. They're in love, and they're stronger together, and Robert thinks it's a pretty good Step One.
"I've got you," he breathes, their foreheads touching, Aaron's hands clutching at his back. "No matter what. I've got you."
And Aaron smiles a weak, sincere smile and says, "I know. I got you too."
Two weeks after the start of the summer hols between Robert's second and third year of Uni, the veterinary clinic where Aaron works hosts an adoption fair. It's a gorgeous Saturday morning. Robert's walking with Ross and Finn and Pete and Mary, who are currently on-again. They're still a block away and can already hear the barking.
"We're not getting a dog," Ross tells Finn, who looks mutinous. Finn opens his mouth and Ross points a finger at him before he can get a word out. "Or a cat."
"You two are precious," Mary says, as though it's disgusting. Robert likes Mary. He thinks that Pete probably loves her.
The tents come into view first, the majority of the car park taken up with white tents to help block out the sun and booths with dinky little games and pins and crates where the animals are frolicking about. There are a ton of volunteers and a few of them Robert recognizes as Aaron's co-workers, Matt and Aiden and Hannah and Stan. Aaron is crouched down in front of a little boy and his father, a fluffy ginger kitten in his arms.
"Shit," Robert sighs, and doesn't even care how much the hearts in his eyes show. He's so used to the sight of Aaron wearing his scrubs that the sight of him in ones that actually fit is always a bit strange. They're bright turquoise with cupcakes on them though, which makes the whole thing a bit more Aaron. He's also holding a fluffy ginger kitten. He's perfect.
Finn spots a pin of dogs for adoption within seconds and wanders casually that way. Ross watches with an unamused look on his face. Pete and Mary wander off to look at another pin of Border Collie puppies, and Robert makes his way to his other half, who looks up at him with bright blue eyes and a blinding smile as soon as he gets close. He carefully hands the ginger kitten off to the little boy and stands up to accept the hello kiss Robert gives him.
"'lo, love."
"I like you in my clothes better," Robert whispers in his ear, at which Aaron snorts and bats at him so that he can go back to getting poor fluffy animals adopted.
Robert watches him hand papers over to the boy's father and tell the boy very sternly about how important it is to take proper care of the kitten. The boy names the cat Andrew, and it fights against the boy's chubby arms until it slumps in defeat and look up at Aaron unhappily. Robert can sympathize with it. He'd hate to leave Aaron, too.
After the little family toddles off, Aaron sets his clipboard down on top of the crate full of more fluffy ginger kittens, and wastes no time in launching himself at Robert. Robert catches him with a quiet oof, getting his arms under Aaron's bum to hold him up when he wraps his legs around Robert's waist.
"Finn and Ross are going to get a dog," Robert whispers conspiratorially.
Aaron looks over Robert's shoulder for a second. "Does Ross know that?"
"Somewhere deep down, I think he knows he'll cave." Robert turns them around to find his friends. Finn is holding a small hound puppy and looking at it with adoring Bambi eyes. Ross looks both helplessly in love and highly disapproving.
"I think you should move in with me," Robert says abruptly.
Aaron blinks at him. Robert sets him back on his feet. "What?" says Aaron.
"I think it should be our flat, and our home, and I think we should split the rent and the bills and an address." Robert can't stop himself from smiling (which happens quite a lot around Aaron). It's been just over a year since they met. It's time.
"And you decide to come here, to my work place, and make a scene in front of all these people with this preposterous question?"
Robert looks around. No one is paying them any mind at all. Pete and Mary are watching Finn, who appears to have turned into a metaphorical pile of goo at the sight of Ross being licked in the face by the hound puppy. He looks at Aaron expectantly, and Aaron rolls his eyes. The smile that spreads over his face is like sunshine.
"Yeah, all right," he shrugs, like it's no big deal, and then squawks loudly when Robert picks him up and twirls him around, crying out in triumph and deliriously happy. People are looking at them now. Robert rather likes it. He sets Aaron down but just to waltz him into a dip so he can kiss him. Aaron is pliant and light, letting Robert take most of his weight so he can kick him in the ankle. He's used to being manhandled. Robert kisses the tip of his nose.
"I like that you're smaller than me," he murmurs, like it's a secret, when Robert tells him at least three times a week and usually twice on Sundays.
"I like that you carry me around when I don't want to walk anymore," Aaron shrugs, still hovering a few feet off the ground with Robert's hand on his back. "It all works out."
Robert beams at him, and Aaron smiles right back at him, and they don't move until Pete pelts Robert in the head with a plush dog toy.
They spend the rest of the day at the fair, and then the six of them walk back toward their flats side by side, Robert with his arm around Aaron's shoulders and Pete with his arm around Mary's and Ross and Finn's fingers linked between them, their new puppy leading the way home.
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Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
It’s all Adam’s fault.
At least, this is what Aaron keeps telling himself as he packs suitcase upon suitcase to head to London for an undetermined amount of time. He shoves a fourth pair of Vans into his bag, trying and failing to get the suitcase zipper shut as Adam continues to argue for the millionth time that Aaron could have said no, that he didn’t have to agree to this. But Aaron shakes his head. He can’t back out, not now. It’s basically a challenge at this point, one he doesn’t intend to back down from.
He still hates Adam for it, though.
“You can easily get yourself sent home the first night,” Adam offers. “Just make an ass of yourself. I’m sure that wouldn’t be difficult, you do it all the time.”
Aaron curses as the zipper gets caught on something inside the suitcase. “Why would I fly across the country only to make myself look like a dick on national television and then have to fly home immediately after. And thanks for the compliment. You’re a peach.”
“I’m just saying, if it totally sucks, you can make up some sob story about how you can’t be there and it’s too hard and need to come back home. Worst case scenario. People do it all the time.”
“Yeah. People. I’m not people.”
Adam rolls his eyes. “Oh, right, your highness.”
Aaron flips him off. “You got me into this mess. You should be kissing my ass right about now.”
“I was trying to do you a favor!”
“On what planet is signing me up for The Bachelor a fucking favor?!”
Adam sighs. “I told you I was sorry, like, a thousand times. I just figured you’d have fun with it.”
“Yeah, well. Now I have to, don’t I?”
He pats Aaron on the head. “That’s the spirit. Now, hurry up with your bags, princess. You have a pumpkin to catch and your Prince Charming awaits.”
Aaron slaps him.
Nine months earlier, Aaron had been sitting on his couch, drink in hand, excitedly awaiting the season premiere of The Bachelor to begin. It was a guilty pleasure, one he was embarrassed to dabble in, but after watching it for six consecutive seasons, he’d accepted the fact that his Monday nights would forever consist of yelling at the TV screen for America’s apparent top bachelor to pick the man he deemed most perfect of the bunch.
He settled in amongst the couch cushions, tapping his fingers against the cooled glass of his beer bottle, and mentally rated each man who stepped out of the limo to meet their potential future husband, Benjamin.
“No, fuck this guy, he’s a former model. Former. As in unemployed and getting uglier. Six out of ten. Next. ” He took a sip of his drink and put his other hand on his calico, Finn, and listened to him purr. “Ben, stop. Don’t flirt with Mr. Roids. Seriously? He’s, like, a four.”
This continued for a while, Aaron watching intently as each contestant was interviewed and flexed their muscles as they stared off into some distant field or skyline, as if it was a normal day-to-day occurrence for them. He was in the middle of scoffing at some lawyer from Detroit when Adam called him.
“Adam, you know this is my Bachelor time. I can’t talk now,” Aaron scolded when he picked up the phone.
“I know, Jesus, sorry. I’ll be quick. I had a question about that meeting we have tomorrow.”
“Hurry up, the last limo just pulled up to the mansion.”
“For the love of God, this show is the cheesiest junk in the world, and you’re not even that stupid. How can you fall for it?”
“Who said I fall for it? It’s a crock of shit. I know. But why would I ever pass on the opportunity to judge and mercilessly mock a bunch of semi-attractive men for two hours, oh my God, pause. ”
Adam sighed. “I really have zero interest in discussing this show with you. I just wanted to know if Lisa was going to be at the meeting.”
“I’m not even going to pretend I just listened to you because Adam. The most attractive human I’ve ever seen just stepped out of this limo.” Aaron actually leaned forward to get closer to the TV screen. “I think I love him. I want to lick his face.”
“You are aware you’re not a Great Dane, right.”
The man’s name and occupation flashed at the bottom of the screen and Aaron nearly blacked out. “Shut up, shut the fuck up, he’s a fucking pediatric dentist. I’m going to die. Seriously. You’ll find my body at the bottom of the river. Adam! He’s a doctor for kids! ”
“Yeah, I know what a pediatric dentist is. Okay, you’re useless, I’m calling Liam instead.”
“Whatever.” He hung up, not waiting for another word from Adam, and stared at the screen, unblinking. He swallowed heavily as Robert’s interview played.
“Hello, I’m Robert Sugden, I’m 26, and I’m from Leeds, California. I’m a dentist and I absolutely love what I do. Kids are honestly so funny, and most are so inspiring. I don’t think I would love working as a regular dentist as much as I love working with children.” The camera pSarahd in on a shot of Robert looking at an X-ray at his office, then he high-fived the boy standing next to him and handed him a toothbrush. Aaron’ mouth practically watered. “I have one sister and even though my family is small, we’re very close.” Robert and whom Aaron presumed to be his sister and parents sat around a dinner table, clinking wine glasses together, and laughed wholeheartedly at a staged joke the audience didn’t get to hear. “I’m a big believer in family time, so it’s important to me to find someone who appreciates that.” Robert then walked down a trail, which led to the Golden Gate Bridge. He stared wistfully into the distance. Aaron couldn’t think of one thing to make fun of, for the first time ever. “I want someone who won’t hate my stupid sense of humor too much, likes to experience and try new things, and is always up for an adventure. I don’t like to sit still for too long, and I’m looking for the man who will run with me. I think that man could be Ben.”
Aaron stared, unmoving, as Robert and Ben met for the first time outside the mansion’s front entrance, and when Robert smiled, his dimples popped out, and Aaron almost screamed. “Ben, you fucking son of a bitch, this one’s a ten. He’s amazing. Don’t fuck this up.” Robert leaned in for a hug, embracing Ben, and then walked inside the house, disappearing from the cameras. The next man, some guy named Leon, climbed out of the limo, bouquet of flowers in hand. “Boo, you’re trying too fucking hard. Bring back the curly one!”
The episode continued and the cocktail party began. Ben went from room to room, introducing himself to each man, asking them all very basic questions about themselves, and Aaron wanted to yank his hair out every time he couldn’t see Robert looming in the background. He was the only interesting one, the only one who captivated Aaron’ attention, and Ben clearly felt the same way. He gave Robert the first impression rose, securing his safety for the upcoming elimination round, and when Robert broke out into a deep rooted smile while attaching the rose to his lapel, Aaron all but slid off the couch, clutching his chest.
Apparently, Aaron wasn’t the only one who fell in love with the dentist from San Fran. He quickly became the fan favorite, his name trending on all forms of social media every Monday night, and with each passing week, his popularity only grew. He went on a romantic helicopter ride with Ben on week two, sharing secrets about his past relationships and his ultimate goals for the future, and when Ben kissed him in front of the fire, Aaron whined, forcing himself not to clap.
Week three brought a group date, in which Robert rode an electric bull and it made Ben laugh so hard, soda came out of his nose. During week four, they went dog sledding, and week five included a steamy makeout session in the hot tub overlooking some of Montana’s mountains.
By week six, Aaron was looking up “Team Robert” t-shirts on his computer at work, and Adam nearly choked on his coffee when he saw it.
“I don’t even have words for this anymore. You’re, like, extremely creepy.”
“I am not. He just completely deserves to win. Heart of gold, this one. You can tell.”
“Aaron. It’s a TV show. I’m sure that almost the entire thing is scripted.”
“Even so, Robert Sugden should win. He’s a fucking catch. What kind of idiot would let him go?”
Five weeks later, Ben was that kind of idiot, apparently.
On the season’s finale, Ben chose Tristan, making Robert the runner-up, and Aaron swore he could feel his heart actually shattering when Robert broke down in tears.
He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, his voice unsteady, the palm trees in their tropical location swaying in the background. “I really thought I was enough, you know?” he cried to the camera. “I thought we were it for each other. I guess he was just it for me. I feel so blind.”
Aaron punched his pillows. “You are enough! Oh my God! America loves you! I love you!”
“The Final Rose” interview aired directly after, in which host Chris Harrison talked to the contestants, saving Robert for last. “It’s been about eight weeks since that emotional day in Thailand.”
Robert nodded. “Eight weeks.”
“How has it been, getting over Ben?”
“Honestly, watching the show back helped immensely. I thought the entire time that what I had with Ben was so strong and so special, and it definitely was, to some extent. I loved him. But. Being able to see how much closer to Tristan he was, I understand that we wouldn’t have been the right match. Ben made the best decision for everyone. There are no hard feelings and I wish him the best with Tristan.”
The audience applauded and Chris smiled. “I’m sure he’d love to hear that. Should we bring Ben out?”
The crowd went wild again as Ben stepped out onto the studio’s floor, and he immediately went in for a hug. “Robert, you are so wonderful, such an incredible person. I just had a gut feeling we weren’t meant to be.”
Robert forced a smile. “I understand.”
“Whoever you end up with is going to be the luckiest. I really and truly believe that.”
“Thank you, Ben. That means a lot.”
Everyone in the studio clapped and whistled; Aaron rolled his eyes. “At least be sincere, you blind prick. Tristan sucks. I can’t believe you let this guy walk away.”
The camera pSarahd to Chris’ face. “Robert, I agree with Ben. Someone out there would kill to be with you.”
“Oh, God, I hope not.”
The audience laughed again and Chris smiled once more. “Hopefully, the men we pick out for you next season won’t actually commit crime to be with you.”
A girl who was blatantly planted in the audience stood up and cheered, “Does that mean Robert is the new bachelor?”
Chris gestured at Robert. “Care to share the news?”
Robert smirked and shrugged. “I’m the new bachelor, and I’m very, very excited.”
The audience went ballistic , and Aaron immediately called Adam before he started to tear up. “ Adam. ”
“What do you want. It’s almost midnight.”
“Robert is the new bachelor.”
“Oh? Really?”
“Wait, why do you sound actually interested?”
“What, you jealous I’m gonna steal your man?”
“Shut up. Just. Be happy for me, for us, for the world , that we get to watch the love of my life half naked on TV for the next 15 weeks.”
“Love of your life? Christ, you’re crazy.”
He may be crazy, but he isn’t as crazy as Adam Malik, who tricked him into flying to LA for what he said was work related, when it was really, in fact, an audition to become a contestant on the bachelor. He made it through all three rounds, and when he found out he was chosen, he drove straight to Adam’s house and punched him in the stomach. Hard.
“ That is for lying to me and forcing me to waste three vacation days to audition and for probably causing me to lose my job because how can I go away for four months to frolic on national television?!”
Adam held onto his stomach. “You suck.”
Aaron threw his head back and laughed. “That’s fucking rich.”
“Okay, look, we’ll talk to Lisa tomorrow and if she says she’ll replace you, you can back out of the show. But if she gives you the thumbs up, you should do it. It’s Robert. ”
“Adam. He’s a fucking television personality. He’s hot and sweet and works with kids. That’s all I know about him. I’m not uprooting my life to go meet some actor and pretend to fall in love. No one actually forms a real relationship. This entire thing is a sham. I am so fucking pissed that you kidnapped me and brought me there.”
“You didn’t have to audition! And why are you so sour about this show now?! You live for it!”
“Can you hear yourself?! I couldn’t just run out of the room once I realized where I was. I’m 28. I’m an adult. I had to act like one.” He clenched his fists. “And I love watching it, not being on it. For fuck’s sake.”
Adam frowned. “I’m sorry. I am, alright? Let’s talk to Lisa tomorrow and we’ll see what she has to say.”
Somehow, Lisa was even stupider than the creator of the show itself, because she clapped her hands together and told Aaron he had to go. “Your job will be safe. You’re too valuable to lose. We’ll all be cheering for you!”
And after another two more brutal fist fights with Adam, that’s how Aaron Dingle ended up on a plane to London with his bags packed to meet Robert Sugden, the bachelor.
Chapter 2: The Journey
Chapter Text
Aaron just spent the last hour and a half getting ready for his close up - unsurprisingly, there were men who took significantly longer - and now that he has nothing to do or focus on, the nerves are starting to settle in. He’s standing amongst the other contestants, everyone a bit louder than necessary, and he just wants to get a move on, get the first night over with. Nothing about this has been fun so far, and every time he thinks about what he has to do over the course of the next ten hours - and ten weeks, give or take - he wants to rip Adam’s limbs off.
He’s been giving himself a constant pep talk since he stepped off the plane. It’s an experience, a challenge, potentially, and is what it is. Aaron wouldn’t be himself if he wasn’t up for it. If anything, he’ll meet some hopefully interesting people, he’ll get to gawk at Robert in real life, and if he makes it far enough, he’ll get to travel and see some new parts of the world. Added bonus, maybe he and Robert will flirt a little. Maybe they’ll have a good time.
Deep breaths, in and out. He’s going to make the best of it.
All 25 men gather in the studio about a mile away from the mansion before they enter their respective limos, each man trying to assert his dominance in one way or another, and the producers go over the ground rules whilst attaching mics to all of their dress shirts.
A woman in her early 30’s with jet black hair pulled into a tight bun stands before them. She’s holding a clipboard, has an earpiece dangling from her left ear, and her stance screams that she’s in charge, and comfortably so. Aaron appreciates the hell out of that. Some of the other men visibly do not. Aaron rolls his eyes. Good grief. “Hello, gentlemen, I’m Lydia.”
A collective Hi, Lydia goes around the room and she smiles, flipping through the pages on her clipboard.
“All of the details for the first cocktail party were listed within your contract, but we’re going to briefly go over them again. To start, you will exit the limo the way we tell you to. If we ask you to jump out of the limo and sing a song, you will jump out of the limo and sing a song. Got it?”
Everyone in the room grumbles a Yes, and Aaron’ sure the look on his face is not pleasant.
Lydia continues. “Number two, for the first night only, we will tell you when it is your time to chat with Robert, or Robert will come get you himself. It gets too confusing with so many people running around and our cameras aren’t able to capture everything if we don’t know where anyone is. And I know you guys have probably seen men ask, ‘Can I steal you for a bit?’ Those are guys we’ve asked to do that, to stir it up a bit. You’ll be able to ‘steal’ all you want, but not the first night. We will guide you to where he is, the cameras will follow you, and you cannot directly look at them. Just at Robert. We will pull you away for interviews, and in the interview room, you will also be advised to not look directly at the cameras. Number three, the rose ceremony in which five of you will be eliminated will take place over a span of about 2-3 hours. It seems quick on TV, but we have to make sure we get every shot at every angle. Also, it would be impossible for Robert to remember all of your names, so we have him say two names at a time, and then we stop filming to give him two more names. And fourth, this cocktail party will most likely go until sunrise. It usually does. Be prepared for that. Alright, have fun!”
Aaron knows his jaw is hanging open slightly - he can’t find the strength to close it - and he has a new surge of anger towards Adam. On TV, this all looks so simple and flawless. In real life, it’s like surgery, and Aaron has zero experience in the operating room.
Basically, this sucks, and he’s already so, so tired.
An older man who’s wearing an old, faded black Polo approaches Aaron and starts hooking him up to a mic, which he tucks inside of Aaron’ jacket and turns it on. “Alright,” he says, “I’m Dale. I’ll be in the interview room just about 90% of the time. If you have any questions, you can come to me about it.”
Aaron nods. “Okay.”
“We’re gonna start your first interview now. Let’s head this way.”
Aaron nods again. “Okay,” he repeats.
They walk down a corridor and enter a small room, candles flickering everywhere, an aggressive amount of flowers in glass vases, and the lights that are shining on the chair are nearly blinding. Aaron takes a seat and squints at the small group of people standing before him.
“Aaron, sit up straight and tall, put your feet on the X of tape on the floor, and we’ll tell you when to begin talking. Just read directly from the cue cards.” The look on Aaron’ face must be a combination of shock and disgust because Dale backtracks immediately. “The entire show isn’t this scripted. Just the first week. This is just kind of a formality, and everyone will be asked the same questions. It’s just easier for us to hold up cue cards. This way, we don’t have to repeat ourselves a thousand times in one night.”
Aaron relaxes, his shoulders slumping a bit. “Alright, that’s better. I thought you were trying to turn me into a robot.”
Dale smiles. “Just a little bit. The further you get, the more freedom you have.”
It makes sense, but Aaron still hates it. Instead of voicing his displeasure, he simply says, “Okay,” for the third time. “Let’s do it.”
A woman next to the camera holds up the first cue card. “Whenever you’re ready, Aaron.”
He straightens his back and looks at the words on the poster. It’s just some basic information with blank lines, which he assumes he’s supposed to fill in as he talks. Okay, that’s not so bad. “My name is Aaron Dingle, I’m 28 years old, and I’ve been living in Chicago for the past 10 years, but I’m from London. I work for an advertising firm.” He looks down at his hands and then back up again. “I never thought in a million years I would end up on The Bachelor as a contestant. I guess that’s what happens when you have a friend who meddles, yeah?”
Dale stops the recording. “Aaron, tells us about your friend and why they convinced you to enter.” He hits record again, and the red light lights up once more.
“My friend from back home listened to me rave about Robert for the entire duration of last season and thought this would be a good idea, for whatever reason. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone but…” He trails off and looks to Dale, who’s waving his hands, encouraging him to go on. “But I’m getting really excited about it.” That part isn’t actually fabricated and doesn’t feel scripted.
The producers must feel the same because they they turn off the camera again. “Awesome, Aaron. Thank you. If you exit the room and head back down in the main hall, there will be someone down there who should direct you to your limo. You’re all set to head to the mansion.”
Aaron tries to ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s a TV show. None of this is real. None of it is even live. Relax. “Great, thanks.”
He makes his way back to the front of the building and is directed out the door, instructed to head to limo number three. There are four other men in line with him; two he would never glance twice at, one that reminds him a lot of Adam (meaning there is zero attraction at all), and the fourth is his type exactly. Tall, soft smile, wavy hair. Actually, he looks a lot like Robert.
One of the producers is also in the limo with them, and once they’re seated inside and pulling out of the lot, she begins to give them more instructions. Aaron is already having trouble focusing, fidgeting with the buttons on his jacket, and they’ve barely even started yet.
“I’m Jackie, nice to meet you all, let’s go over this quickly. First out of the limo will be Michael, followed by Derek. You’re both all set with your entrances, right?”
The Adam lookalike and Ugly #1 both nod.
“Excellent,” Jackie says. “Chas, you’ll go after Derek, and you can read your poem.”
“It’s in my pocket,” Chas says, patting his left breast pocket. Aaron resists the urge to snort.
“Evan, you’ll go fourth, followed by Aaron.”
Evan, Robert’s prototype, smiles. “Sounds great. Do you have the flowers?”
“Yes, they’re up front.”
Aaron wrings his hands together. “So, like, am I just gonna wing it? No tricks for me?” he asks her.
Jackie nods. “You don’t need any gimmicks to make you stand out to the viewers. Not with that accent.”
He blushes and purses his lips together. “Thanks, love.” He watches as Michael whispers something to Derek, and based on the way they’re both staring at Aaron, he knows whatever he said wasn’t a compliment. He’s about to call them out on it - let the drama start before the show even does - when the limo stops moving. Aaron turns away from the men in the car and looks out the window, and if he actually feels shorts of breath, he will never admit it.
Robert is standing at the start of the walkway, his hands clasped in front of him, eyes shining. His suit is fitted impeccably, accentuating every inch of his body, and Aaron cannot believe he looks even better in real life than he does on his hi-def TV at home. His hair is blonder, his smile is brighter, and Aaron knows that if this was a real life situation and they met at a bar in downtown Chicago, Aaron would be flirting mercilessly to try to get a drink or two out of Robert.
He swallows audibly. It’s just a TV show.
“Michael, out you go,” Jackie demands, gesturing toward the door. He steps out, and Aaron nearly pushes his nose up against the door window to watch their interaction, fogging up the glass with his breath.
Michael stands before Robert and gets on one knee, reaching for Robert’s hand. Robert throws his head back and laughs, and Aaron can’t stand how fake this whole setup is. Thank God for his accent, a saving grace, because otherwise he might be the asshole out there right now, fake proposing.
After that disaster is over - in which Robert smiled the whole time, what a good sport - Derek exits the limo and dances his way over to Robert. It’s horribly cheesy, but at least it’s not as uncomfortable as the cringeworthy proposal everyone just had to witness.
Chas goes next, reading a short poem that Aaron can’t hear, and Evan grabs his bouquet of flowers - red and white roses - when it’s his turn. Aaron anxiously tries to come up with something witty to say while he watches Chas and Robert engage, angry at himself for not practicing this earlier; it’s a made up reality TV show, but it’s going to air on national television. Fuck. He has to at least play the part so he doesn’t completely humiliate himself. Christ, his entire family is going to watch this.
Why didn’t the producers give him any material?! There’s only so far a foreign accent can take you.
He’s trying to sort out his breathing, thinking of slow and painful ways to murder Adam for when he goes back home, and he nearly jumps when Jackie puts her hand on Aaron’ shoulder.
“You alright?”
He nods. “I’m good. Just overwhelmed.”
“It happens. You have about five minutes to relax and then it’ll be your turn to head out. Some of the crew just has to spray down the driveway first.”
Aaron peers out the window. “Why?”
“When the water hits the lights, it sparkles and looks more magical.”
“Jesus, that is a new level of pretentious douchery if I’ve ever heard it.”
She laughs. “Hey, I don’t call the shots, here. I just yell at you guys to get your asses out of the limo and look pretty.”
“I’ll try my best.”
The driveway gets a thorough hose down and Aaron taps his fingers nervously on his thigh, wishing he was already inside the mansion, not being forced to sit and wait and get sweatier with every passing second. And after what feels like a small eternity, Jackie says, “Alright, they’re done. You can head out now.”
Aaron takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. He still doesn’t have anything clever to say, doesn’t know where he’s supposed to look when he gets out of the limo, doesn’t know if he should hug Robert or shake his hand, doesn’t know if he should play it coy or tell him he’s here because of Robert himself.
Well. He’s here because of Adam, but that’s neither here nor there.
He rolls his shoulders and shakes out his hands, stepping out of the limo cautiously, wracking his brain for something to say, anything to say. He brushes his hair out of his eyes, hoping his nerves aren’t written all across his face, and has to actively remind himself not to stick his hands in his pockets, a habit he’s acquired for when he’s uncomfortable. But then he looks up, and there stands Robert, staring at him intently, crooked smile on his face, dimple out.
“Wow,” he mouths to Aaron, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, bouncing on his feet.
Aaron’ legs feel like rubber as he tries to make his way over to Robert; he knows his cheeks are red and he desperately tries to think of anything other than the fact that his first ever interaction with Robert Sugden is currently being recorded to air on national TV, but he’s fairly unsuccessful.
He clears his throat once he’s standing directly in front of Robert. He looks up and Robert’s gaze is so steady, Aaron is almost positive that Robert can read his thoughts. “I’m Aaron, and I’m afraid I don’t have any gimmicks for you.”
Robert looks down at the ground and laughs. “Oh, and he has an accent. Cut me some slack. You definitely don’t need a gimmick, Aaron. You are… Wow.”
Aaron smirks. “Yes, I am wow. That is my profession, actually.”
“Professional wower?”
“Indeed.”
They’re both grinning like idiots and it’s so fucking stupid, teetering on unbearable, almost, but Robert can’t seem to rip his eyes away from Aaron’ face and Aaron doesn’t really want him to, anyway.
Robert reaches out and grips his elbow. “Other than wowing, what do you do?”
“I work in advertising.”
“Oh, that’s interesting.”
“No, it really isn’t. One shouldn’t lie so early on, Robert.”
Robert laughs again and Aaron loves the sound of it, loves that it’s for him, loves that his hand is still touching Aaron’ elbow. “I’m not lying! I honestly wanted to go into advertising for the longest time.”
“But then you became a dentist instead. Those aren’t even remotely similar, how’d you choose that one?” Aaron backtracks, making a face. “Probably creepy that I’m bringing up the fact that I know what you do for a living and you don’t even know my last name yet.”
He smirks. “I take it you watched the show last season?”
Aaron swallows. “Yeah. Why else do you think I’m here? I wouldn’t have flown across the country for just anyone,” he murmurs, letting it slip out before he even knows what’s happening.
“If I wasn’t feeling lucky before, I’m definitely feeling pretty lucky right about now.”
Aaron wants to laugh in his face, because Robert is the one that’s here to choose from 25 gorgeous men from all over the country; he has it made. But Robert is looking at him so sincerely, he can’t muster up any sarcasm or jokes. Instead, he just chokes out, “Dingle. My last name. It’s Dingle.”
“Aaron Dingle, it’s been my pleasure to meet you,” Robert says, voice hushed.
He nods. “Likewise.” He can see one of the producers over Robert’s shoulder, motioning that Aaron needs to wrap up. “I’ll, uh, see you inside?”
“Most definitely.” He pulls Aaron in by the elbow, wrapping his arms around him briefly, and when he pulls back, his smile is reaching his eyes, genuine and sweet.
Aaron smiles back and starts his walk inside the mansion, stepping over the puddles that have accumulated from the hose within the dips between the stones and bricks on the walkway. He can feel Robert’s gaze still on him, and he fails to ignore how damp his palms are. He blames his jittery movements on the fact that he’s being recorded, that he’s filming for a TV show, not because of Robert. It’s not because of Robert. It’s not because of Robert .
He’s pissed that he’s already losing at his own game.
Or maybe he’s winning. He isn’t entirely positive.
The mansion is exactly what Aaron expected: over-the-top big, noisy, and in your face.
That goes for the actual structure, as well as the people inside it.
Now that he’s less nervous and the hard part is over, Aaron can actually gawk at the other contestants and determine who his competition is, who he thinks he’d get along with, who he kind of wants to punch out. And looking around the room, it seems like it’s split 50/50.
He settles in on the red, velvet - seriously? - couch in between Evan from the limo and another guy he hasn’t met yet. The guy holds out his hand. “I’m Cam.”
Aaron reaches for it and grabs. “Aaron.”
“Oh, you’re the Brit.”
He laughs. “That’d be me.”
“I’ve heard about you.”
“Already? We’ve been here for, like, eight and a half minutes.”
Cam smiles. “Word travels fast.”
“Apparently.”
They fall into a relaxed silence and Aaron is happy to observe. Drinks are being passed around, music is playing from outside on the terrace, and then, all at once, everyone gets to their feet, whistling and clapping as Robert enters the room.
It’s uncomfortable, honestly, that all 25 men are acting like Robert is the last single man on earth, that he’s the greatest thing to have ever graced the planet, but then Aaron remembers that there are cameras on them still, filming their every move and reaction, and he doesn’t want to be that dick already, the guy who acts like this entire thing is ridiculous (which it is) and he’s better than the process (which he might be). He keeps that in mind as he, too, climbs to his feet, and tries not to feel like a total idiot for clapping for some guy he hardly knows, just because he’s standing there and smiling.
Robert smiles and holds up his own flute of champagne. “Thank you all so much for being here. I’m still in disbelief that there is a group of people that actually came here to date me. I’m very honored to be a part of this experience and I’m excited to get to know you all. Cheers to you all,” he says, taking a sip.
“Cheers,” the rest of the room murmurs out.
Aaron wants to tip his head back and drain the entire glass to escape how awkward this is, that everyone is looking at Robert like he’s a slab of meat. He glances around the room and then back at Robert, and Robert’s gaze is already locked on his face. It makes Aaron a little squirmy to be the only person under Robert’s attention, so he jokingly blows a kiss to break the tension. Robert’s grin grows, and even though Aaron hasn’t looked away from Robert yet, he knows everyone in the room is staring.
He’s about to approach Robert, ask him if he wants to head outside to the patio together, when Tall, Dark, and Handsome beats him to the punch. Robert smiles and they squeeze past the rest of the men, making their way outside.
The rest of the night goes by a lot more seamlessly than Aaron expected it to. There’s always some drunken drama when he watches it on TV, but this group seems to be exceptionally mellow. He takes an immediate liking to Cam from the couch, a guy named Blake who also lives in Chicago, and an actual farmer from down south named Elliott. They hang out together in the bonus room, laughing over a game of pool and a round of drinks, and by the time it’s two in the morning, Aaron is considerably less tense and, for the first time, excited to be in his situation.
He won’t tell Adam that, though.
He’s lining up to take his final shot when the rest of the group stands up a little straighter, exclaiming a forced, “Hi, Robert!” all at once.
Aaron looks up, pool stick still in his hand, and sees Robert standing by the door, camera crew trailing behind. “Hey, Sugden.”
Robert smirks. “Wanna head outside with me for a bit?”
The rest of the guys seem to deflate a bit at Robert’s request and Aaron cocks his hip. “Mind if I finish my last shot first?”
“Seriously, Aaron?” Elliott asks.
“Yes. I’m about to win and you can suck on it.”
Robert smiles. “Be my guest, go ahead.”
Aaron bends down and closes one eye, focusing. He pulls back his arm, ready to release, and as he shoots, someone kicks him in the back of the knee, making him completely miss the eight ball.
“What the fuck?!”
Cam laughing. “I knew you’d be a sore loser.”
“You son of a bitch.” He straightens his back and stretches. “Alright, well, Robert, I guess I’ll settle for hanging out with you instead.”
He snorts. “I appreciate the hardship.”
As Robert guides him outside, he can hear someone from the other room mumble, “You’d think he’d be kissing Robert’s ass. What a dick.” Aaron doesn’t think Robert heard it and plans to ignore it, himself, but he grabs Aaron’ elbow and says, “I enjoy the chase, a bit.”
Aaron winks. “My speciality.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
They walk down winding, granite stairs and settle in together on an outdoor couch seated in front of a fire pit. It’s hot, but it feels nice. The smell of the burning ash is comforting.
“Alright. Aaron Dingle.”
Aaron raises a brow. “You remembered my full name?”
“I did.” He places his hands on his lap. “So, where are you from?”
He waves his hands in the air, trying to remember Lydia’s warning to not stare directly at the camera beside them. “Yeah, let’s cover all that boring shit first.” Robert laughs, his shoulders relaxing. “Well, I currently live in Chicago, but I’m from London, or the outskirts, rather. My entire family is still there, and I’m fortunate that I can typically make one or two trips a year back over there to see them. Or, I try to, anyway. I actually haven’t been at all for about a year. Flights have been too expensive and my job has been picking up and, yeah. Sucks, but. It is what it is.”
“Ah, shitty that you haven’t been back in a while.”
“Yeah, that part kind of blows.”
“But it’s great that you can typically go home so often. What brought you to Chicago?”
“I applied to school there on a whim, thinking it’d be cool if I got in, and then they offered me a major scholarship. I couldn’t turn it down. Then I fell in love with the city, the people, and decided to stay there.”
“I’m sure your family was pleased.”
“Absolutely. I think my mum’s words were, ‘Excellent, because nothing makes me happier than having my firstborn live halfway across the world. Don’t come back. You’re disowned.’”
Robert laughs. “I can’t imagine leaving my family. My mom would probably have a very similar reaction.”
“It’s been nice, though. A good change. And it makes me appreciate them more when I get the chance to see them. Limited time, and all that.”
“Are you close to your siblings?”
Aaron nods. “Surprisingly, yes, considering they’re all significantly younger than me, are all girls, and don’t even live on the same continent.”
“All girls?”
“Yep. Five sisters.” He shakes his head. “Oh, and one brother.”
“Do you often forget you have a brother?”
He shrugs. “Easy mistake. I can hardly remember my own name, never mind what I have for siblings. My own mother calls me Will sometimes. If she can’t remember her kids, why should I?”
“Who’s Will?”
“I have no idea.”
Robert laughs, the infamous dimple coming alive, and Aaron wants to push his thumb into it. “He’s your twin that she gave away at birth.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me. I have two sets of twins within my siblings. Add a third, why not.”
“Seriously?”
“Mhm.”
“Those are some impressive genes, Dingle.”
“Don’t tell me. Tell my mum.”
They chat for a while longer, and Aaron is surprised by how easy it is. He won’t say that sparks are flying, because, realistically, they’re strangers, and that doesn’t ever really happen, but it does feel like chatting with an old friend, and Aaron loves that. He feels comfortable, doesn’t feel out of place when Robert rests his palm on his knee, feels natural to lean into it. Nothing is forced. It’s a calming feeling, and based on Robert’s demeanor, it seems to be mutual.
They’re talking about pizza toppings (“Robert, it’s crucial to know what you put on a pizza, because if you like Hawaiian pizza, we can consider this entire thing done.”) when Lydia heads over to them from around the corner.
“Alright, guys, time’s up. Robert, I need you to wrap up and meet James in the kitchen. He’s gonna start prepping you for the rose ceremony.”
Robert nods and squeezes Aaron’ thigh. “I have to do something first,” he replies, still touching Aaron, not really taking his eyes off of him.
Lydia sighs. “We still have to start the damn ceremony and it’s already past three in the morning. Slowest man alive, I swear.”
He smiles. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” He gets up and walks away, leaving Aaron, awkward and alone with the camera crew, jogging back into sight only moments later. He’s holding his hand behind his back, and Aaron instantly knows he’s getting the first impression rose. It’s so beyond cheesy, but his face feels hot and his stomach swoops, anyway.
“Whatcha got there, Sugden?”
Robert smirks and sits back down, hand still behind his back. “You were the first and only person out of the limo that actually took my breath away, and as it turns out, you aren’t just gorgeous.” He smirks, shy. I’m really excited about getting to know more about you.” He holds out the rose, perfectly red with little droplets of water around the edges. Absurd. “Will you accept this rose?”
Aaron bites down on his bottom lip. “I think I’d be pretty stupid not to, don’t you think?”
“You can do whatever you want, Aaron.”
It’s too early for a nickname and Aaron doesn’t care. “I’ll take it. Yes. Thank you.”
“No, thank you. ” He pins the rose to Aaron’ lapel, and it looks really fucking good.
The rose ceremony takes forever - they don’t finish until nearly seven in the morning - and Aaron is dead tired by the end of it. He can’t think of anything other than ripping off his shoes, throwing on a sweatshirt, and sliding into that tiny bunk bed on the second floor of the mansion. It’s practically calling his name.
Five men go home, and Aaron is automatically safe, thanks to the first impression rose, and it feels brilliant to know that Robert Sugden saw something in him, saw enough to want to keep him around for at least another week.
The remaining men don’t seem to care for him as much as Robert does, but in all honesty, Aaron doesn’t get sweaty palms when any of them look at him, so he doesn’t care in the slightest.
The mattress is rock solid and it’s the best night’s sleep he’s ever had.
The first date card arrives early the next morning. Sean comes prancing into the living room, waving the envelope around in the air.
“Look what I’ve got,” he sings out.
The other 19 men, Aaron included, settle in on the couch and various chairs as they watch Sean rip open the seal.
“Who’s going?” Cole asks.
Sean clears his throat. “Aaron. Let’s take our relationship to new heights. Robert.”
Aaron’ cheeks burn as he can feel 19 pairs of eyes on him at once. “Welp, looks like I’ve just gone from hated to most hated in a matter of seconds.”
A few men let out chuckles; most are silent and don’t give him the satisfaction of laughing. Brock, however, speaks up. “You get the first impression rose and the first date. A little dick of you, man.”
He holds up his hands. “You say that accusingly.”
“So?”
“I have nothing to do with any of that. If you want to be annoyed, voice it with Robert. Not me.”
Brock rolls his neck and stands up. He’s massive. But before either of them can say anything else, Cam jumps in.
“Hey, Aaron, come outside with me?”
He nods. “Sure thing.” He turns to Brock, smiles sweetly, and rips the envelope out of his hands before he even has a chance to react.
It’s hot outside, and it’s something Aaron is still getting used to; London is dreary and Chicago is nothing but wind. LA is still, warm, and sunny. It’s gorgeous, but different.
Cam leans against the railing of the deck and squints when the sun hits his face. “They’re just jealous,” he says.
“I’m not really bothered by it. No one’s gonna like the guy that has the first connection, yeah? It just happened to be me.”
He purses his lips together. “It’s because you aren’t trying too hard.”
“Or trying at all, really.”
Cam laughs. “Just naturally charismatic.”
“Sounds about right.” He drums his fingers along the railing. “I dunno. This process is weird. I feel like being overly romantic right in the beginning is stupid. He’s essentially a stranger. Why would I want to try to be over-the-top and try to impress him so early on? It screams desperation. I’m just trying to have a little fun, you know?”
“Mmm. The Bachelor kind of is a show made up about desperation, though.”
Aaron smiles. “True.”
Cam grabs the envelope from Aaron’ hand. “So, new heights. Where do you think you’re going?”
“Oh my God.” The blood drains from Aaron’ face. “I didn’t even think of what. Wait. Cameron. I’m gonna be stranded on some fucking ridiculous tower, aren’t I?”
“I’d say so, Rapunzel.”
“No, fuck off, I’m, like, deathly afraid of heights.”
The look on his face must be that of sheer panic, because Cam bursts out laughing, immediately covering his face with his hands. “Oh, Christ, Aaron. I’m sorry. Just. Don’t look down.”
Robert pulls up to the mansion in a red convertible two hours later. The group of men head outside to greet him, and Aaron trails behind in the back of the pack. He doesn’t need to be the first out there, not when he’s the one about to spend the day with Robert, all alone.
Plus 12-15 crew members. And eventually, the entire United States. But, that’s just semantics.
Robert’s leaning against the car, gold rimmed aviators sitting on the bridge of his nose, black skinny jeans, and a t-shirt. Casual. It makes Aaron feel better about his own choice of Vans.
“Hi, everyone,” Robert calls out, smiling.
A few of the ballsier guys jog over to him and lean in for a hug, telling Robert how good he looks. Aaron’ sunglasses are dark enough that he doesn’t have to hold back his eyeroll.
“It’s great to see everyone! I hope you’ve all been having fun. The mansion is amazing, right?”
Everyone hollers and claps; Aaron nudges Cam. “And they say nothing about this is scripted,” he mumbles under his breath. Cam shoves him back and tells him to shut up.
“So. Aaron?” Robert peers over everyone’s head, looking for him, and Aaron steps to the side.
“Hey, Sugden.”
“You ready?”
Aaron nods, walking toward the convertible. “Yeah, let’s do this. Sick car, by the way.”
“Don’t get used to it. We’re just borrowing it to head to the helicopter pad.” His smile is devilish, and Aaron wants to throw up. “Ever been in a helicopter before?”
“Does it look like I’ve ever been in a helicopter?” He’s aware it probably comes off nasty, especially based on the way someone behind him whispers, Is he serious? But he doesn’t care. He’s completely petrified.
Robert must be able to tell, because he takes a step forward and grabs Aaron’ hand. “Hey. It’ll be fun. I promise. We won’t be on it for that long. It’s just a better alternative than driving for five hours to our destination.”
Aaron doesn’t say that he disagrees with that. “Where are we going?”
He smiles. “My hometown.”
He whistles. “Moving a little quickly to meet the family, huh?”
“I didn’t invite them today,” he says with a laugh. “Just us.”
“Okay, then. Just us. Let’s go.”
“Perfect.” Robert drops Aaron’ hand. “Alright, everyone, I’ll see you all later!”
There’s a chorus of goodbyes as Robert opens Aaron’ door for him. He slides in, touching all the buttons and knobs on the dash, and with a honk of the horn, they’re off.
Aaron relaxes significantly as they whip down the highway, his messy hair getting messier, Robert’s hand on his thigh. His palm is warm and he’s comforted when Robert tells him not to be nervous, that he’ll take care of him.
Aaron believes him. Sort of.
When they arrive at the lot, Robert put the car into park and stalls for a minute. “Okay, I have a confession to make.”
He raises a brow. “Oh, yeah? Should I guess?”
Robert smirks. “If you want to.”
“You’re secretly married.”
He scratches his jaw, pretending to think. “Uh, nope. Not that.”
“You’re really a woman.”
Robert laughs. “I can promise you that I am not.”
Aaron waggles his eyebrows and Robert laughs again. “We’re not really going to San Fran. You’re kidnapping me and I’m your prisoner. Actually, come to think of it, that might be more fun. Let’s play that later.”
“Oh my God, you’re the worst ever at this game. Can I just tell you?”
“If you want to spoil all the fun, sure.”
Robert rolls his eyes but Aaron can tell he isn’t really annoyed. “I knew giving you the first date after giving you the first impression rose would cause tension in the house between you and the other guys.”
“So, their dagger stares were obvious to you, too, huh.”
He nods. “I figured it would be an issue. But. Like. I’m nervous, too. This is a new experience for me, being on this end of things, and I’m still trying to figure everything out. And on the first night, you made me feel way better, much less on edge, so I picked you first for the date on purpose. I wanted to be relaxed going into this. And I knew you were the best choice for that. I apologize if you get backlash for it, though.”
That was not what he’d expected him to say at all. “Wow, Robert. That’s. That’s really flattering. It’s very sweet you feel that way.”
“I’m not trying to be sweet. I’m trying to be honest.” He unbuckles his seatbelt and pushes open the door. “Let’s go have fun. This will be good.”
Aaron climbs out, too. “You’re the boss. Let’s do this.” He slams the door shut. “Oh, and Robert?”
“Aaron.”
He smiles. “Thanks.”
“For…”
“For trusting your instincts, which told you that I was amazing.”
Robert laughs and rolls his eyes again. “I take it back. I’m gonna go back and get someone else.”
“Good, then I don’t have to get in that damn helicopter.”
“Baby, that’s the easy part of today,” he says with a wink.
Oh. So this is what hell feels like.
Once he’s able to get over his initial panic and fear and abundance of sweat, the helicopter isn’t nearly as bad as he’d anticipated. He has to close his eyes through the majority of it, but it mostly feels like an airplane. An extremely tiny, crowded, hot airplane.
Okay, the anxiety is back.
He grips Robert’s hand across the seat and Robert laces their fingers on instinct, and Aaron squeezes hard, needing something to keep him grounded and to reassure him. Every so often Robert drags his thumb across Aaron’ knuckle, almost like a gentle reminder that he’s still there. It’s working, just as long as Aaron doesn’t look out the window and down.
He takes a deep breath, listening to himself through his headphones. He concentrates on that, until Robert pulls his hand away and drags his fingers across the inside of Aaron’ thigh. He cracks open his left eye. “Can I help you?”
“Aaron, I know you’re terrified, and you’re doing so well, and as soon as we land I’m going to make a joke about how quiet you’ve been and how much I enjoyed it, but I don’t want you to miss this view. You’ll regret it if you don’t see what we’re flying over right now.”
“I highly doubt that,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Please. Real quick, and then you can close your eyes again. And we can take a train back home later, if that’s what you want, I promise.”
“Okay, Sugden, this better be worth it.” He takes a deep breath and looks out Robert’s window. It’s. He’s speechless. “Robert.”
“I know .”
They’re hovering over the Golden Gate Bridge, looking at it from an angle that Aaron never imagined possible, and it’s breathtaking. The fog forming at the very peak makes everything look a bit distorted, but not enough so that they can’t see the structure itself or the ocean below.
“It’s unreal,” Aaron murmurs. “Tell me we’re stopping here so I can stare at it some more, preferably like a normal tourist on the ground.”
“Oh, I’ll do you one better.”
Aaron sits back. “What’s that now?”
“Don’t freak out.”
“Robert.”
“You’ll love it once we get to the top, I swear.”
“The top of what, and you better tread very lightly here, pal.”
Robert smiles. “The harness will be secure, and you’ll have a helmet, of course.”
“What in God’s name are you trying to get me to do, because I can already tell you the answer is a big, fat no.”
“We’re climbing the to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge.”
“Is that even legal?!”
“It is today.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“ No. ”
“Aaron, please. I wanted to do this date with you specifically. The producers tried to get me to save this date until at least week three but I begged for it. And with you.”
Aaron groans. “But why?!”
“Because I’m nervous, too, I told you, and I wanted to be there with you, doing it together. And I couldn’t wait until week three to get you alone.”
He groans again, louder this time. “Ugh. Fuck.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Closest thing to a yes you’re gonna get.”
Robert stupidly pumps his fist in the air. “Thank you.”
“I’m about to make this the most painful first date you’ve ever been on in your life. ”
He smiles and tucks his hair behind his ear. It gets caught in the headphones; Aaron shakes his head. “And I’m gonna love every minute this painful date of ours,” Robert says, reaching for Aaron’ hand again.
“You’d better.”
Standing at the bottom of the bridge doesn’t hold a moment of peace for Aaron. Normally, as a tourist, he’d like to take the time to appreciate the view in front of him, take some photos, relax.
Today, however, he doesn’t get the chance to do any of these things. Rather, he’s being strapped into a helmet with a camera attached to it and he nearly has to be wrangled into his harness. He can tell Robert’s trying not to laugh at his expense, but his cracked smile says otherwise.
Aaron looks up at the sheer volume of this structure. It’s absolutely massive and he has to close his eyes against the sunlight when he tries to see it in its entirety. He audibly swallows and taps his foot against the ground, a nervous habit.
Lydia signals for him to stand by her while Robert gets ready. “Quick interview. You ready?”
“Sure, sure.”
“Sweet.” She positions him in front of the camera and makes sure his mic is turned on. “How are you feeling right now? Put the question in your answer, please.”
He wraps his arms around himself. “I am currently feeling extremely anxious. Ever since we took off in that damn copter, I’ve been pretty on edge. I am not a fan of heights, and I’m kind of hating Robert for this date right about now.” He realizes he sounds pretty ungrateful, and definitely like a whiny dick, so he tries to backtrack. “But all of my unyielding fear aside, I’m excited to spend the day with Robert. I know the rest of the day will be fun, just as long as I don’t pass out at the top, or anything. He’s been great so far. A trooper, for letting me squeeze his hand so hard in the helicopter. Someone might wanna check to see if I broke any of his bones. Seriously.”
Robert laughs in the background. “My hands are fine. You ready?”
“No, but I don’t think I have a choice.” His foot is still tapping, the gravel beneath his shoes crunching and shifting.
“Hey.” Robert walks over, brows furrowed, expression dead serious. Two cameramen trail behind. “Scale of 1-10, how genuinely afraid of heights are you?”
Aaron bites on his bottom lip. “Uh. Like, a 8.5, probably. Maybe a nine.”
“Okay.” He stares at Aaron. “We don’t have to do this. I know it’ll be incredible and it’s kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity, one that I wanted to do with you. But that kind of fear won’t allow you to enjoy it. We can back out if you want. There are plenty of things we can do today. Just say the word, and we’ll be done here. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Aaron. I’m not going to force you to do something that makes you do that with your hands.”
He looks down and sees his hands curled up into fists; he hadn’t realized he was doing it. He unclenches and immediately, all of his muscles relax, already sore from the tension. “You’re understanding. And really, really accommodating.”
“I’m trying to be. If someone asked me to sit in a room filled with bunnies, even if it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I’d laugh in their faces and say ‘Thank God.’”
Aaron smirks. “Bunnies? Really?”
“They hiss! They’re so scary! Why does no one agree with me?!”
He laughs. “I didn’t know they hissed. Game changer.” He takes a step closer to Robert and meets his gaze. “I’m, like, super freaked out by this, yeah? But I can tell how badly you want to do it.”
“ With you. Not alone.”
“Right. With me.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ll try it.”
“Seriously?”
He nods. “Yeah. But if it gets to be too much, can we come back down? And not force me to climb to the top?”
“Absolutely. This is your game, Aaron. Your rules.”
“I like the sound of that.”
Robert smiles. “I thought you would. Alright. When you’re ready. There’s an instructor at the bottom who’s gonna give us some guidelines.”
Breathe in, breathe out. “Ready.”
They head down the path together, and Aaron is just barely aware of the camera crew behind them. And although out of the ordinary and extravagant, it’s almost starting to feel like a real first date, vomit-inducing nerves and all.
The instructor, Cooper, tells them that this is completely safe, and that hundreds of people a day climb the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s a huge tourist attraction, and the only reason there’s no one on the bridge today is because they shut it down just for Robert and Aaron.
“You have nothing to be afraid of. The harnesses will be attached to the building directly, and honestly, the hardest part will be walking up at such an incline. No one ever mentions the height. Generally speaking, people seem most annoyed about the fact that they’re essentially climbing a stairmaster, and that they just paid to do an aggressive workout when they thought they would be sightseeing.”
Robert laughs; Aaron wants to light himself on fire.
“Okay, let’s get you two set up, and then you can get going. Have fun!”
Aaron turns to face Robert. “Oh, right, let’s have fun,” he mocks.
Robert claps his hands together. “That’s the spirit!”
“Sense the tone.”
“I’m ignoring the tone. Come on, baby.”
It’s the second time he’s called him ‘baby’ - not that Aaron is keeping track - and he knows Robert’s only saying it to loosen him up, or just to play with him. Either way, he isn’t against it and he tries to act like he doesn’t care. His blush says otherwise.
They stand together at the very bottom and Aaron watches helplessly as Cooper attaches his harness to the side of the railing. “No one has ever died doing this, right?”
“Nah! Not on my watch, anyway.”
“Perfect,” he replies, voice void of any emotion.
Before Cooper can attach Robert, Robert grabs Aaron’ elbow. “Do you want to walk in front, or me to?”
“I want you in front. I don’t want to have to lead.”
“Okay.”
Cooper starts to attach Robert’s harness in front of Aaron’, and Aaron decides that won’t do. “No, wait. I want you behind me. To catch me if I slip or something.”
Robert smiles. “I can do that.”
Once they’re both attached, Aaron forces his knees to stop shaking, hoping they don’t buckle out from underneath him, and slowly makes his way to the entryway. As long as he doesn’t look up, he’s fine.
Or down. Or to his left. Or right.
Oh God.
“One step at a time, Aaron. You’re okay.”
“Patience, Robert.”
He doesn’t have to turn around to know that Robert’s smiling behind him. “Take your time.”
“I plan to.”
The first 20 feet aren’t so hard, and neither are the 20 after that, but then the wind starts to pick up. Aaron grips onto the railing like a lifeline, imagining he can actually feel the bridge swaying beneath his feet. He closes his eyes and stills his movements completely.
“You still doing okay so far?” Robert asks, chin hooked over Aaron’ shoulder.
He nods. “Just. Give me a sec.”
“You can have all the secs you want.” He pauses. “Ha.”
Aaron snorts. “Didn’t realize I was on a date with a 10-year-old.”
“Don’t pretend you hate it.”
The wind slows down and Aaron feels like he can breathe again. “Okay, moving forward.”
They continue to climb, and as long as Aaron focuses on the task at hand, not allowing his mind to drift to the fact that he’s making his way up a 220 feet structure, he can manage. But then.
“Robert, what the fuck is this.”
There’s a sign nailed to the railing in front of him, and it reads, CRISIS COUNSELING. THERE IS HOPE. MAKE THE CALL. THE CONSEQUENCES OF JUMPING FROM THIS BRIDGE ARE FATAL AND TRAGIC.
“Ah, Christ, that’s awful. But, great that they put that up. Maybe it’s saved a life.”
“ Robert, ” he repeats, “people have jumped off of this from this spot. To die.”
“That’s what it seems like.”
“If we fall from here, we’re dead, too. Oh, God, I hate this.”
He feels Robert’s hands on his waist, and Aaron nearly screams at the fact that Robert isn’t hanging onto the railing anymore. “We won’t fall.”
“How do you know ?”
“We are strapped to this bridge. We aren’t going anywhere. It’d be impossible. I won’t let you fall.”
He swallows. “Do you think a lot of people have jumped?”
“I hope not.”
“Kind of breaks my heart a little bit.”
Robert’s hands grip his waist tighter. “Me, too.”
Aaron forces his gaze away from the sign. “Let’s keep going.”
“Yeah? You sure?”
“Yes. Just. Don’t ever wanna see that again.”
“Okay, you can close your eyes on the way down.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Forgot we have to walk back down.”
They’re silent the rest of the way up, Aaron focusing on keeping his movements steady, his hands locked on the railing, his breathing even. He squints against the sun when he looks up and hears Robert’s own heavy breathing behind him. Cooper was right; this is an insane workout.
“Enjoying yourself at all?”
“Yeah, the view is great,” Aaron replies, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.
“Awesome. View is amazing from back here, too.”
Aaron turns slightly and sees Robert staring directly at his ass, smirk playing over his face. He wants to push Robert off the bridge. “Oh, you are disgusting.”
Robert laughs. “Almost at the top. Not much longer.”
“Good, because I’m fucking tired.”
“Cooper wasn’t kidding, huh.”
“Jesus, my legs are Jell-O.”
“I’ll carry you if I have to. We’re going to the top.”
Aaron snorts. “Because that makes me feel safe. Sure, Robert, let me climb on your back and hang onto you like a koala. Sounds like a fabulous plan.”
“You can’t be too heavy.”
“I’m all muscle, I’m strong and manly.”
“I agree.”
The final stretch of their climb is the hardest; it’s impossibly windier and Aaron feels like he’s going to slip right off the structure, even though logically, he knows he won’t. His heart is pounding inside his chest, threatening to burst. Five more steps, four more steps, three, two, one more step…
He stills and holds on for dear life, gripping the railing, eyes closed, and when he feels Robert’s hand on his own, he reaches for that, instead, trusting that Robert is somehow sturdier than the bridge itself. Robert squeezes, hand much less shakier than Aaron’.
“You did it.”
Aaron nods, eyes still glued shut. “I did. We did.”
“Will you look, please?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”
Robert laughs lightly, and Aaron can feel Robert’s check against his own. “Come on, baby. You did so well. It’s gorgeous up here. Please.”
Aaron counts to ten inside his head, and then counts to 20. Robert’s patient and doesn’t ask, just traces his thumb along the back of Aaron’ knuckles in slow, steady circles. If he notices how sweaty Aaron’ palms are, he doesn’t mention it.
He opens his eyes slowly and when he looks around, the breath is knocked out of him. It’s the most surreal thing he’s seen in his entire life, and he doesn’t have words for it. Somehow, he feels like he’s on top of the world, but simultaneously the smallest he’s ever felt, like he’s limitless, yet holds no power. It’s overwhelming, standing here, staring out into the ocean and city for miles and miles. His eyes start to tear up, and he can blame it on the wind all he wants, but there’s no way Robert would believe that.
“Gorgeous,” he croaks out.
“Definitely. Was it worth it?”
Aaron clears his throat. “I think so. I mean, I’m okay so far, right?”
“You’re okay.” He keeps rubbing circles onto the back of Aaron’ hand.
“We’re very high up, though.”
Robert smiles. “Don’t overthink it.”
“I’m desperately trying not to.”
They stand in silence for another minute or two, taking turns staring out at the scene before them and at each other, and that’s about how long it takes for Aaron to break, more than ready to head back down to solid ground.
The trip down the bridge is much easier, and mostly because Aaron gets to stare at Robert’s back the entire time. It blocks the view, which significantly helps with his nerves. Also, Robert has a nice back.
Really nice.
They’re back on the ground much quicker than Aaron thought they would be, and he rips off his helmet immediately, tugging at his harness. Cooper nearly bounces over, asking questions about their “magnificent journey,” helping with the equipment, but Aaron is only half listening, nodding every so often as to pretend he’s listening. Robert has helmet hair, probably matching Aaron’, and his cheeks are pink and blotchy from the wind. He’s gorgeous. When he catches Aaron staring, he blows him a sloppy kiss, and Aaron’ stomach swoops.
Cooper instructs Aaron to step out of the harness, and the second he’s free of it, he charges at Robert, who already has his arms open. They stand in a locked embrace, Aaron’ face pressed into Robert’s chest, and he can hear his heart beating wildly. Aaron swallows, and murmurs a, “Thank you,” into his shirt.
Robert rubs his hands in between Aaron’ shoulder blades. “No. Thank you. ”
They stand there for way too long, hardly moving, and when Aaron finally pulls away, it’s only because he doesn’t want to start tearing up again. Too much adrenaline, too many nerves.
Or something like that.
Part two of their date is dinner by the water, secluded and not on the rooftop of a building, thank you very much. The crew gives Aaron time to change out of his clothes from earlier and into a more dressier outfit, and he unsuccessfully shakes the wrinkles out of his dress pants. His hair is still extremely windswept and his lips are a bit chapped, but he’s going to have to roll with it.
He does a quick interview talking about the Bridge of Doom before he’s guided into the restaurant, and he sees Robert sitting at a table at the balcony’s edge. His helmet hair miraculously seems to have cured itself. Damn glam team.
Robert looks up and sees Aaron, smile forming instantly, and he gets up to hug him.
“You look amazing,” he breathes into Aaron’ hair.
Aaron scrunches up his face. “‘m afraid I’m a bit sunburned from today.”
“It looks good on you.”
“I bet.”
“Ready to eat?”
“ Yes. I’m starving.”
Robert pulls out Aaron’ chair, and as Aaron is placing the cloth napkin on his lap, Robert gestures towards the camera crew. “One of them told you we’re not actually allowed to eat, right?”
Aaron pauses. “Excuse me?”
“I know. The sounds from the knives and forks and chewing gets jumbled when we’re wearing the mics, so for dinner dates, we just pretend to eat.”
“I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.”
“I wish I wasn’t serious.”
Aaron’ stunned. “Okay, so, that blows.”
Robert nods. “Tell them, not me.”
He turns and looks over his shoulder. “You guys blow.”
A few of them chuckle and Lydia steps forward. Does she go anywhere without that damn clipboard? “Sorry, Aaron. But we always bag food up for you to take with you. We’re not going to starve you.”
“Oh, how generous of you.”
She ignores his sass and continues. “I have some more bad news, though.”
“Worse than putting a plate of steak in front of my face and instructing me to just smell it?”
“The drama of it all. Yes, it’s worse. Unfortunately, the winds blowing in this way are too strong for the helicopter to take you back tonight. So I’m going to give you a couple of choices. We can book a hotel for you tonight - separate rooms - and we can head back in the morning, or we can rent a car and you can drive the six hours home and arrive around seven AM.”
Both options seem unappealing, and he looks at Robert to see what he thinks. Robert shrugs.
“What do you think, Aaron?”
“Is there a third option in which we sleep here tonight and take a plane or a train back early tomorrow?”
“What, you don’t want to spend six hours trapped in a car with me Route 101?”
“No offense, but hell no.”
Robert laughs. “Lydia, is that possible? To go back in the morning and avoid the copter?”
She taps her fingers on her clipboard, clearly irritated. “You are aware you aren’t royalty, right?”
Aaron sighs. “If we have to, we can do the helicopter. I just. Really fucking hated it. Like, makes my stomach hurt thinking about having to get back in it. And I’m dead tired. I just want to sleep in a bed. Facing your deepest fears repeatedly from sunrise to sunset really sucks it out of you, yeah?”
She sighs again. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Bless you,” Aaron says, relaxing into his chair, and turns back to Robert. “So, what looks good enough to order but not to eat?”
Robert laughs. “I was thinking that seafood pasta thing on page two.”
“Done.”
For the next 90 minutes, Aaron honestly and wholeheartedly enjoys a pretend dinner on a very real date with Robert Sugden.
The food smells amazing - would probably taste even better - and the view of the ocean is to die for. The constant cameras in his face isn’t as annoying as he thought it would be, and when Lydia confirms they have a flight the next morning for ten AM, Aaron feels significantly better.
“Also,” she adds, “no cameras at the hotel. We don’t want to give viewers the idea that Robert’s sleeping around so early on.”
“Uh, or at all ,” he protests.
“You have 19 boyfriends,” she says solemnly and walks off the set before Robert can come up with something to say back, and Aaron can’t help but laugh.
Robert rolls his eyes and twirls his angel hair pasta around his fork, setting it down without taking a bite off of it. “This is probably lame, but. I’m really proud of you for today.”
Aaron blushes. “You’re right, that was lame.”
He smiles. “Did it help? Like, are you still totally afraid of heights?”
He stares dumbly. “How would putting me at the highest peak in Leeds help me get over my fear of heights.” He’s not sure if it’s actually the highest peak, but it sounds good, regardless.
“It’s like exposure therapy. If someone’s afraid of snakes, you put them in a tank of snakes, and then they see that it isn’t scary and they can start to get over it.”
“Okay, yeah, that sounds awesome. Let’s stick you in a tank of bunnies.”
Robert freezes. “Not funny.”
“Exactly.”
He goes back to twirling his pasta. “Still proud of you, though.”
“Thank you.”
“Did you feel better knowing I was behind you, though? Like, was I of any comfort?”
What a dumbass, fishing for compliments. “You’re great, Robert, but no, I was still fucking terrified.”
Robert laughs. “Tell that to the bruises on my hand.”
Aaron looks across the table and sees he isn’t kidding. He actually has tiny bruises forming from where Aaron was digging into his hand. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, really.” He shrugs, buttering a piece of bread he can’t eat. “You’re funny and sarcastic and obviously smart and witty and. I don’t know. It was nice to see a more vulnerable side of you. You have depth. I liked getting to know that Aaron Dingle, too.”
He swallows - tries to, anyway - and reaches for his glass of water. “You mean the Aaron Dingle who nearly cried because of a little wind?”
“No, I mean the Aaron Dingle who pushed himself out of his comfort zone because he knew it would make me happy.”
Christ, it’s a lot, because Robert’s right. Aaron wouldn’t have done that for most people, people he’s known for years, and yet.
“I’m glad I did it.”
“I’m glad you did it, too.” He grabs the salt from the center of the table and shakes some across his entree. “Wanna move on from this?”
“Please.”
“Okay. First date questions?”
“Ugh, how is that a better alternative?”
“Because we only talked about your family a little bit the first night. I wanna know more. They sound amazing.”
Oh. Aaron can easily talk about his family. And he wants to. So he does. He tells Robert that his mum was a single mother up until Aaron was about five, and even though she was fairly young when she had him, she kicked major ass as it, and now he has incredible high standards for how he wants to parent his own kids. He tells him that he has five sisters and a brother - to which Robert replies, “I remember” - and that he’s still extremely close with them, especially Liv, the oldest, even with the distance. He tells him that his best childhood memories consist of his mum making a giant fuss about his birthday, because it’s on Christmas Eve, and most people don’t care about your birthday when it’s so close to a major holiday.
Aaron takes a sip of his drink. “One time I asked her if that’s why she always put so much extra effort into my birthdays, because she felt bad. And she said, ‘No, baby, it’s because you’re my favorite child.’”
Robert laughs. “Sounds like something my own mother would do.”
“I miss her quite a bit. I love Chicago, I do. It’s just hard sometimes to be so far away.”
“Do you want to go back? To London?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. I daydream about it a lot but I have such an incredible life here now that it would be silly to give it all up because I’m homesick sometimes.”
Robert nods. “We should call her.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, let’s call her. When was the last time you talked to her?”
Aaron scratches his jaw. “Not that long ago. The day I flew to LA, I think. So, like, not even a full week ago.”
“We should call her,” he repeats.
“Well, as fun as that seems,” Aaron starts, not bothering to hide his sarcasm,” it’s about four in the morning her time.”
Robert frowns. “I forgot about timezones.”
“I can see that.”
“In the morning, then?”
Aaron laughs. “Just desperate to meet another Dingle?”
“Another accent, actually. It’s bloody brilliant.”
He laughs again. “Shit impression, Sugden.”
“I tried.”
“Not well. But in the morning, if I decide I still like you, we can call me mum.”
He waggles his brows. “You like me?”
“Oi, forget it, I don’t. ”
Robert smiles and looks down, going back to cutting up his food. “So. Let’s talk about past relationships.”
“Do we have to?”
“You watched me get broken up with on national television. The least you can do is tell me about your last boyfriend.”
“Valid point. Okay.” He nervously twists his napkin in his hands. “His name is Nathan and we dated for three years.”
“Decent amount of time.”
“Yeah. Felt like longer, though.”
“Not a great relationship?”
“No, it was lovely. Just. We had quite a few problems by the end of it.”
“If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”
Aaron licks his lips. “Yeah. Alright. It was actually kind of like an honest love story.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Yes, for him.”
Robert looks confused. “How’s that now?”
“He fell in love with his best friend. Who was not me.”
“Oh. Jesus.”
“He worked with this guy for, like, six years, so I never thought anything of it. They were friends before I ever came along; I never felt like he was a threat.” He shrugs. “Guess I wasn’t as intuitive as I’d thought I was.”
“What ended up happening?”
“He cheated on me for over a year.” His voice falls flat and he’s afraid he’s just made everything awkward but Robert’s soft expression says otherwise.
“Aaron,” he says, shaking his head.
“The guy’s mum had sent Nate an invitation to their family Christmas party. I opened the envelope without thinking, really, and I was super confused as to why his coworker’s mum had his address, and was comfortable enough to invite him to an intimate family gathering. I asked him about it and by the look on his face, I just immediately knew. I was completely blindsided.” He stops twisting the napkin and puts his hands on the table. “Wasn’t the best birthday or Christmas that year, I’d say.”
“That’s…” He leans across the table and grabs Aaron’ hand in his own. “I’m sorry, Aaron.”
“It’s all good now. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen him or talked to him and last I’ve heard, Nate and Thomas are married and happily living somewhere in Seattle.”
“Fuck Seattle.”
Aaron smiles. “Exactly.”
Robert traces lines across the back of Aaron’ knuckles. “Is it shitty I don’t feel completely horrible that that happened to you, though?”
He frowns. “I’d say it’s shitty, yeah.”
“Just, if that hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Oi, what a line,” he says with a smirk.
“It’s not, really. You’re, like…” He trails off, still holding Aaron’ hand, Aaron’ gaze. “I can’t believe someone would let you go.”
Aaron blushes. “Thanks, love.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
He really does.
They talk for a while longer, Robert’s gaze lingering on him a little too long, making Aaron’ cheeks burn.
“Did I tell you that you look amazing tonight?”
Aaron brushes his hair out of his eyes. “I think you did. Maybe once.”
“I’m telling you again. Like, jaw dropping gorgeous.”
“Okay, Sugden.”
Robert smiles. “Will you do this again with me?”
“What, listen to you go on about how beautiful I am? Sure.”
He rolls his eyes. “That, and another date.”
“I think probably, most definitely, I would.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He reaches across the table and picks up a perfectly red rose, which has been resting on a silver tray for God only knows how long. Aaron honestly hadn’t noticed it until right now. “Aaron, will you accept this rose?”
“Probably, most definitely.”
“Good.” He pins the rose to Aaron’ lapel, and usually, at this point, the bachelor and date lean in together, and they kiss, romantically and passionately in front of 15 crew members. But Aaron doesn’t want that yet. He wants something better than that, because damnit, he’s actually starting to like this guy.
He sits back in his chair. “I can’t believe I have to share you with 19 other men.”
“What?”
“Uh, you have 19 more dates waiting for you back at the mansion, or did you forget.”
The look on Robert’s face says he actually did forget. “Christ, you’re right.”
Aaron opens his mouth to say something else, but then his stomach growls, loud and unmistakable, and he turns to the crew. “Okay, lads. Everyone’s gonna need to stop filming because I can’t take it anymore. I have to eat.”
Lydia shakes her head, laughing. “Fine. We’ve got enough footage, anyway. The car out front is ready to take you back to your hotel. I’ll have your food wrapped up for you.”
“Don’t even bother having it wrapped up, the plastic will just slow me down.”
Robert laughs. “Ditto.”
The ride to the hotel is the best part of the entire date, and that is not an exaggeration.
Aaron rips into the food before the car door is even shut, and he moans the second his tongue touches the shrimp and scallops. He can’t bother to be embarrassed that he’s eating pasta with his fingers - that’s how hungry he is - and he can’t tell if the food is even actually good or not. At this point, he thinks he’d eat garbage, he’s so famished.
Robert is no better off, digging in, twirling the pasta around a Goddamn knife and using that as his sole utensil, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
“Attractive,” Aaron snorts, mouth full.
“You’re one to talk.”
The drive to the hotel is short, just a mile or two from the restaurant, and as Aaron is finishing up his meal, rubbing his garlic soaked fingers on his trousers, that’s when he remembers.
“Robert, I don’t have any pajamas or anything like that.”
“Ha. You’re right. I don’t either. Maybe there’re some sweatpants and t-shirts somewhere around here that we can buy.”
“True. Gift shop on the network’s tab?”
Robert nods. “Gift shop on the network’s tab.”
They head into the hotel together, lobby floor pieced together with overly shiny pieces of marble, and stop at the front desk.
“Hi, Aaron Dingle and Robert Sugden. Checking in.”
The woman behind the counter clicks around with her mouse, eyes glued to the computer screen. “Mr. Dingle, you’re in room 207, and Mr. Sugden, you’re in room 441.”
Aaron turns to Robert. “Lydia wasn’t kidding, huh?”
“Not even on the same floor. She’s ruthless.”
He taps his fingers on the front desk. “Gift shop on Lydia’s tab?”
Robert laughs. “Perfect.”
They take their room cards from the woman behind the desk and find the gift shop down the hall and around the corner. The teenager behind the desk looks miserably bored and mumbles, “Can I help you with anything.”
“Uh, no, we’re good,” Aaron says. “Robert, come over here. Look at this.” He holds up a yellow, fringed t-shirt, with an outline of the Golden Gate Bridge across the center. In rainbow glitter. “You need this.”
Robert bursts out laughing. “You think I’d look good in this, baby?”
“I know you would.”
“Okay, then.” He shrugs out of his suit and starts to loosen his tie. “Hand me the shirt.”
“Robert, you can’t undress in a fucking gift shop.”
“Why not? Mr. Excitement behind the counter clearly doesn’t seem to care.”
Aaron looks over. The teen hasn’t looked in their direction once since they entered the store. “Alright, then. Strip.”
Robert smirks and unbuttons his dress shirt, holding it out for Aaron to take. And Jesus, Aaron hasn’t seen him shirtless in person yet, only on TV, but it’s nearly enough to make his mouth water. He didn’t realize he had so many tattoos, but they suit him, somehow, and the definition of his abs is impossible.
He’s obviously been staring for too long, because Robert waves his hand in front of Aaron’ face, grabbing his attention. “Like what you see?”
Aaron can feel his entire face heat up, beyond grateful that the cameras aren’t here to record this. “Take the shirt, nudist.”
Robert grabs it and struggles to put it on, seeing as it’s clearly made for a 9-year-old girl, and grunts when it gets stuck over his head. He tries to readjust it, pulling it down, stretching it out, and once it’s finally on all the way, Aaron can’t hold back his laughter, nearly squawking with how ridiculous it is.
“You look fucking amazing. ”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Robert looks down. “It’s so stretched, it doesn’t look like the Golden Gate Bridge anymore. What am I even looking at now?!”
“I dunno, mate, but it’s glittery and fabulous.”
“Fuck. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get this off.”
“Who said you’re allowed to take this off?”
“Aaron!” He tries to pull it off, but stops when it begins to tear. “Oh my God!”
Aaron has tears in his eyes he’s laughing so hard. “Looks like you’re gonna have to wear it out of here.”
“No, absolutely not. It’s a fucking crop top.”
“Not intentionally, you just made it that way.”
“Does that make it better?!”
He can’t stop laughing, even more so when Robert starts flailing his arms around like he’s on fire. “Please leave it on. Seriously. I’m begging you.”
“I’m not sure I have a choice, really.” He rolls his shoulders and it starts to tear even more. “What do I do!”
Still trying to control his laughter, Aaron takes a step closer. “Come here, I’ll help. You’re like a big, dumb Great Dane.”
“Fuck. It’s itchy from all the glitter.”
“Want me to scratch behind your ears, boy?”
“ No. ”
“Put your arms up.”
Robert obeys, putting his arms in the air, and the shirt rises even more, exposing his stomach and happy trail. Aaron forces himself not to stare as he stands on his tiptoes to pull the shirt off over his head.
Doesn’t mean he can help his lingering hands against Robert’s hips, though.
Robert stands completely still, mouth shut, as Aaron pulls the shirt over his head, easing his arms out of the holes, and it comes off easily enough once Robert stops twisting like a caged animal.
Aaron clears his throat. “You’re, uh. You’re all set. No more rainbow glitter for you.”
Robert’s gaze is steady and Aaron squirms under the intensity of it. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem, let’s go find something that actually fits you, yeah?” His voice doesn’t sound like his own, and he hopes to God that Robert doesn’t notice.
“I think I see regular t-shirts in the corner. Over there, by the snacks,” Robert replies, pointing, still naked from the waist up.
For the love of all things holy and pure, put a fucking shirt on. “Awesome.”
They browse through the racks together, Aaron eventually landing on a solid black t-shirt that has a small, white outline of the bridge over the right breast pocket. He grabs a pair of gray sweatpants, also plain, and makes his way to the register, Robert trailing behind him.
Aaron hands the clothes over to the teenager, who still looks terribly uninterested, and scoffs when he sees the size of the sweatpants Robert picked out.
“You’re big, but you’re not Michael Jordan.”
“You know who Michael Jordan is? Do British people even care about basketball?”
He rolls his eyes. “I live in Chicago. He’s, like, the first thing I learned about on my first day of college.”
“Right. Duh.” He eyes Aaron’ purchase. “Um, yours are almost just as big, you hypocrite.”
“I like to be comfortable.”
“And comfort is being able to swim in them?”
“Yes, exactly. Come to think of it, I might steal yours.”
“They’d fall right off of you.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Whatever you say. Although you’d probably look good in them, honestly.”
“You think?”
Robert nods. “Would love to see you in my clothes.” He looks at the teenager behind the register before Aaron has a chance to react, and that’s probably for the better. “Can you put all of this on the tab for room 441?”
“Yup.”
“Thanks. And don’t bother bagging anything.”
“‘kay.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Pleasant,” he mumbles under his breath, and Robert nudges him with his shoulder, grabbing the clothes from the counter.
“Thanks so much.”
“Anytime,” the cashier replies, tone flat.
They change quickly in the dressing rooms, Aaron almost groaning at how nice the cotton feels, sweatpants threatening to fall off his hips, and he balls up his suit and dress shirt, holding it under his arm.
Robert exits the dressing room at the same time, his own sweatpants and t-shirt looking equally as casual and comfortable. “You ready?”
Aaron nods. “Mhm.”
The hotel’s lobby is just about deserted and Aaron checks the clock above the front desk. It reads almost three in the morning. Robert looks up, too.
“Yikes, I had no idea how late it was.”
“Me, either. Guess we should head upstairs. To our separate rooms. Like Amish folk.”
Robert laughs. “I don’t think the Amish would approve of our outfits.”
“What’s wrong with our outfits?! All the important body parts are appropriately covered!”
“They have a lot of rules.”
“Are you really going to educate me on the rules of the Amish at fucking three in the morning?”
He snorts. “No, I won’t do that.”
“Good, because I’m exhausted.” His stomach growls, then, loud enough that Robert’s eyes go wide at the sound. “And hungry, too, apparently.”
“I could probably eat.”
“I bet you could.”
“I’m sure there’s something open in here somewhere. Wanna look?”
“Are you serious? Robert, we have to get up in, like, four hours for our flight.”
“‘m serious. I want to take you out to dinner. Have a real date.”
Aaron swallows and twists his hands together. “A proper date? One that doesn’t involve climbing a fucking bridge or pretending to eat on camera for 90 minutes?”
Robert laughs. “Exactly. I’ll pull your chair out for you and pay and everything.”
He contemplates for about .5 seconds. “Okay, let’s do that,” he says, smiling. “Let’s go on our first date.”
“And say a small blessing that there are no cameras around. I’m not sure how we got out of that one, but I’m not complaining.”
“Me, either.”
They find their way to the small section of dining down a corridor, and unfortunately, everything is closed. And now that the offer of food is on the table - pun intended - Aaron needs to eat something, and vending machine junk won’t do.
“Shit, Aaron, I’m sorry. I don’t think…” He trails off and looks down the hall, gaze unwavering.
“What?”
“Come on.” He grabs Aaron’ hand, lacing their fingers together, and he all but drags him down the hallway. “Hey, excuse me!” Robert calls out.
A man steps out from around the corner. How did Robert even see him? “Can I help you?”
“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but do you work for the restaurant?”
He nods. “I do. We’re not open until four, I’m afraid.”
Robert purses his lips together. “What can I do to bribe you?”
Aaron pinches Robert’s hip. “ Robert. ”
He ignores him. “You see, I’m trying to make a good impression. My date, Aaron, and I haven’t been together very long, and he told me he’s hungry. I have to get him some food. I want him to like me, because, let’s face it, I really like him. Look at him. How could I not?”
Aaron blushes. “Jesus, Sugden.”
Robert continues. “I promise, we won’t be long, or order anything insane. Just something basic. And I’ll overpay. By a lot.”
The chef doesn’t even consider it. “Sorry, kid.”
Robert sighs. “Fine. Do you have a cell phone on you?”
“Yes…”
“Google ‘Robert Sugden bachelor’ real quick.”
“And why would I do that.”
“Come on, my friend, time is of the essence!”
“Robert, what are you doing?” Aaron whispers.
Robert continues to ignore him. “Did you find anything?”
The chef looks down at his phone, up at Robert, back down at his phone, and up at Robert again. “Hey. You’re this guy.”
“I am, yes.” He drops Aaron’ hand and holds his out to shake the chef’s. “I’m Robert Sugden, nice to meet you. We’re currently filming for an episode of The Bachelor. ” He pauses. “Well, not right at this exact moment, but we have been all night. And will be again in the morning. And if you can get me and my Aaron in for a late night meal, you bet your ass you will get so much positive press, you’ll be turning people away. Let’s start by taking a picture together. Come on, the three of us. Selfie time, bring it in.”
Aaron’ neck heats up at my Aaron but crowds in next to Robert and the chef, anyway, to take a photo, and can’t believe Robert’s idiotic plan actually worked. The chef holds his arms out, and just before he takes the picture, Robert presses his lips up against Aaron’ temple.
“There, now you also have a picture of our first kiss.”
“Pretty lame first kiss, Sugden,” Aaron murmurs.
“Want a better one?”
“Not in front of this poor man, no.”
The chef smiles, and he doesn’t seem nearly as annoyed as he did before. “Alright, fine, you boys win. I’ll open up the kitchen for you. My name is Douglas Cook, by the way.”
Robert’s eyes go wide and he holds up his finger to say something, but Aaron grabs hold of it and bends it backwards, Robert whimpering. “Don’t you dare make some crappy joke about how his last name is Cook and how it makes sense that he’s a chef.”
He laughs, yanking his finger away. “Whatever, Dingle.” He turns to Douglas and winks. “My boy knows me too well already.”
“That’s enough, Robert, for the love of God, he’s not gonna serve us if you keep being so gross.”
“Could be a lot grosser.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
Douglas rubs his hands together. “Okay, are you done bickering? You can go seat yourselves in the dining area and I’ll grab some menus.”
Robert slips his hand into Aaron’ again. “Awesome, thank you so much.”
Douglas unlocks the door for them and they slide in, choosing a seat near the empty bar. It’s eerie, almost, that they’re the only ones in there, no music playing, no waiters running around, no noises of clinking glass. Just the steady rhythm of their breathing and the nearly silent sound of Robert’s thumb rubbing against the back of Aaron’ hand.
Just them and no one else.
Well, them plus Douglas.
They both decide on quesadillas, and Douglas prepares them quickly, serving them steaming hot, the cheese oozing out of the sides. It smells too good to wait, so Aaron picks it up, promptly burning his fingers and cursing.
He slips out of his dress shoes, knowing he probably looks horribly dumb in them, anyway, and sits with his knees pulled up to his chest, feeling a million times better. He lounges comfortably for only a second or two when he feels Robert staring at him.
“What.”
Robert raises a brow. “Make yourself at home.”
“I’m trying.”
They both eat in silence for a bit, Aaron licking the stringy cheese off of his fingers, Robert munching at the crispy edges. Eventually, he puts down what’s left of his quesadilla and clears his throat.
“So, I have a question.”
Aaron takes another bite. “Is it how are these so damn delicious? Because I have the same question. I kind of want to sue Douglas over it.”
“Ha. No. But they are good.”
“Okay, what’s your question.”
“I get the vibe that this entire ordeal isn’t exactly your cup of tea, so to speak.”
“What, bribing strange men into giving me food? Because I am definitely about that.”
Robert snorts. “No. Being on the show.”
“Oh.” He wipes his hands on a napkin. “Yeah, you’re right. How could you tell?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. Not to sound like a total dick--”
“You already do.”
“--but most guys are throwing themselves at me. You’re content to kind of, like, sit back.”
“Not my style to act so eager, I guess. Even if that’s the point of this entire thing.”
“Do you think it works? Like, do you think you could fall in love?”
Aaron stares at him blankly. “Are you asking if I love you.”
“Jesus, no. I’m asking if you think it’s possible.”
“Isn’t this a conversation we should have had on camera?”
“No, because I knew you wouldn’t have been honest.”
Aaron runs his fingers through his hair. “Christ, less than 24 hours with you and you can already read me like a fucking book.”
Robert smirks. “So? Do you think it’s possible?”
He pauses, thinking. “I didn’t sign myself up for the show,” he starts. “My best friend Adam did for me. Because he thought I would have fun. And he knew I was obsessed with your stupidly perfect face.”
He laughs. “Your face is kind of stupidly perfect, as well.”
“I know.” He rubs his hands together mindlessly. “I think most of the show is cheesy, and a ton of it is totally bogus and scripted.”
“I’d agree with that.”
“ But I don’t think it’s impossible to develop feelings for someone this way. I never imagined it would be me, but this has been really fun so far, and… I dunno. I’m very skeptical at times, not so much at others. I don’t necessarily view this as a game, per se, like other people do, but it is a challenge, yeah? And not in a bad way, if that makes sense.”
Robert nods. “It does, I understand that. I felt that way last year. I signed up on a whim, thinking there would be no harm, really. And then I just. I fell in love.”
“I watched it all happen, I remember.”
He nods again. “I’m really enjoying having you here, Aaron.”
“Thanks.” He tries to hold back a yawn and mostly fails. “Me, too, love.”
“Looks it.”
“To be fair, it’s, like, four in the morning.”
“Yeah, we should head upstairs, probably.”
“Probably.”
They sit in the dining hall for another hour and a half.
Aaron is dead tired by time he makes it to his hotel room door. Robert insisted on walking him, saying, “It’s not a real first date if I don’t walk you to your door.” Aaron had rolled his eyes, but he was secretly very pleased, and he has the feeling Robert knew that.
“So, I had a lovely time tonight,” Aaron says, lazy smirk playing across his face.
Robert nods. “Me, too. Kinda don’t wanna leave you.”
“You can stay.”
“As tempting as that is, I don’t put out on the first date.”
“Such a gentleman. But who said anything about sex? You can just come in. And sleep.”
Aaron watches as Robert swallows. “Do you really think I’d be able to sleep next to you and not touch you?”
He steps backward, his back hitting the wall. Robert takes a step closer. “That’s a good question, Sugden.” He slips his finger into the waistband of Robert’s oversized sweatpants. “Still think I want these, even though you think I’ll be able to swim in them.”
Robert nods. “You will be able to swim in them. Might let you have them, though, if you’re good enough.”
Aaron looks up at him through his eyelashes. “Have I been good enough so far?”
He nods again, a little bit of desperation written on his face. “Yeah. Really good.” Robert lets Aaron play at the waistband of his pants some more, until his demeanor breaks. “I want to kiss you.”
Thank God. “Do you normally tell the boys that before you kiss them?”
“No, you just make me so fucking nervous.”
“What happened to, ‘You make me the most comfortable.’?”
Robert runs his fingers through his hair, “It’s a funny conundrum. The Aaron Dingle conundrum.”
Aaron licks his lips. “You gonna trademark that?”
He leans in a bit, hand reaching up to cup Aaron’ jaw. “Might have to. Gonna be using a lot from now on.”
“Does that mean you want to keep me around for a while longer?”
“Baby, you have no idea.”
Robert’s lips graze Aaron’, then, so unbelievably careful and methodical, like he’d been thinking about it all day and knew exactly how to map it out. If that’s the case, he’s in good company.
Aaron pulls him in closer by his hips, loving how easily Robert falls into him, and when Aaron opens his mouth, letting his tongue dart out, Robert inhales sharply, cupping Aaron’ jaw with both hands.
Robert tastes like the quesadillas they just had - Aaron assumes he probably tastes the same - and like something else that Aaron can’t put his finger on. It’s sweet; maybe it’s just Robert. He doesn’t spend much more time trying to figure it out though, not when Robert’s digging his fingers into Aaron’ scalp, pressing the entire length of his body up against Aaron’.
Aaron can’t help but whine into it, not when he’s being kissed like this. Robert is dragging his tongue in all the right spots, his hands playing over his entire body in the most intimate way, and no one has ever been able to kiss Aaron the exact way he likes it, not on the very first try.
It’s a little too slick, a little too quick, for a first kiss, but it feels right. Their entire date was magnified, seemed like they were moving in double time, so it’s only appropriate that the first time their lips touch only follows suit.
He has no idea how long they stand there for, touching and tasting, but eventually, Robert pulls back and rests his forehead against Aaron’. He’s breathing deeply, eyes closed, hands still gripped tightly around Aaron’ shoulders. Aaron drags his thumb across Robert’s bottom lip, and he opens his eyes at that.
“You’re.” Robert starts, then shakes his head. “I’m already crazy about you. How is that possible.”
“I think we’re on the same page, love.”
“I’m not gonna be able to stop thinking about you.”
Aaron has to briefly close his eyes at that. “Okay. So don’t.”
“Okay.” He captures Aaron’ lips in a kiss again, this time even deeper, somehow, and Aaron can’t do anything but lean back against the wall and take it.
He lets his hands stray further this time, traveling up his torso, around his back, gripping at his shoulder blades. Robert shudders slightly every time Aaron digs his nails in, and if it wasn’t nearly six in the morning, Aaron would seriously be trying to convince him to come back into his hotel room. The idea of having Robert in his bed is too good, too much.
He whimpers particularly hard when Robert grinds their hips together, being able to feel Robert hard against him. Fuck. It’s a lot, to know Robert clearly wants him back, and he has to break the kiss.
“Robert,” he whines out.
Robert breathes heavily for a moment, then dips down to kiss up Aaron’ jaw, down his throat, moving his shirt out of the way and sucking a bruise into his collarbone.
Aaron squirms underneath him, the attention he’s receiving almost intolerable, and Robert lets go, standing up straight when he’s apparently satisfied with his work.
He reaches up to touch the spot on his neck and can nearly feel it throbbing underneath his fingertips. He groans. “Oh, great work, Robert. As if the rest of the guys in the house didn’t hate me enough as it is. Now I’m basically branded by you.” But then he gets a good look at Robert, and sees that he’s essentially branded, too. The entire bottom half of his face is completely pink and rashy looking, courtesy of Aaron’ stubbly face. It looks a little raw, and when Aaron drags his finger down his cheek, Robert winces. Aaron’ fingers tremble as he does it again, and again.
“You care what the other guys think?”
Aaron shrugs, trying to find his balance again. “Not really, no.”
“Didn’t think so.” His gaze is locked on Aaron’ face. “You’re, like. Fucking stunning, Aaron.”
“Shut up, ” he whispers.
“No.” He kisses Aaron again, this time chaste. “Tell me to go back to my hotel room. Because if you don’t, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to leave from this spot.”
“You’re even dumber than I thought you were if you think I’m gonna force you to leave.”
Robert smiles, twisting their hands together. “Alright. I’ll go.”
He doesn’t move.
Aaron sighs. “Lydia’s gonna wonder why our first kiss on camera has so much chemistry. It’s ‘cause we’ve been practicing behind the scenes.”
“She's also going to wonder how we managed to do so much shit in an empty hotel in the middle of the night. They're all going to be pissed nothing was filmed once they catch wind of that.”
“True.”
He smirks. “I’ll practice with you behind the scenes all you want, by the way.”
He blushes. “No, you can go away now.”
Robert laughs. “Okay. I’m going.” He kisses him one more time before pulling back. “I’ll see you in, like, two hours.”
“Please have coffee ready. Unless you have a death wish.”
“Oh, absolutely. You can trust me.”
Aaron isn’t about to admit that he kind of already does.
Aaron wakes up the next morning - or rather, two hours later - extremely grumpy and beyond irritable, contacts stuck to his eyes, almost in tears that he’s so tired. That is, until he sees a bag on the nightstand next to him.
He peers inside and sees a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He doesn’t realize their Robert’s until he reads the note on the bottom of the bag:
A,
Enjoy the swim.
- R
The shirt smells like him and when he slips on the pants, they do almost fall right off. They’re fucking perfect and Aaron wants to live in them.
Jesus, this smile might be permanent.
The car is already waiting outside for him when he makes his way through the lobby, and Robert is sitting in the back, coffee in hand, back in his suit from the night before. Aaron slides in next to him and Robert hands him the cup, kissing him on the cheek.
“Knew they’d be ridiculously big on you.”
“I hope you don’t plan to get these back. How’d you even get them in my room?”
“Did some more bribing with one of the women behind the front desk. And you look better in them, anyway, they’re all yours.” He leans forward and speaks to the driver. “Alright, we’re all set. My boy is here.”
The whole way to the airport, Robert leaves his hand dangerously high up on Aaron’ thigh, palm warm and big, fingers moving slowly against the gray cotton, and Aaron doesn’t do a damn thing about it.
Doug’s picture of Robert and Aaron from the restaurant surfaces a few weeks later; Robert’s dimple is out and Aaron’ eyes are crinkled in the corners. Both of them have messy hair and blotchy cheeks from their day in the wind and sun, and it might be Aaron’ favorite picture.
The next five days at the mansion are… Horribly dull. Now that his date with Robert is over and done with, he doesn’t have much to look forward to until the next cocktail party and rose ceremony rolls around, or until they start traveling. To pass the time, Aaron spends the majority of the week intermittently sitting outside tanning in the sun by the pool and lounging inside, trying to salvage any friendship he has inside the house with a few of the boys who don’t seem too threatened by his running start.
He’s back in Robert’s sweatpants, snacking on popcorn on the couch inside, pulling at a loose string at the hem of the pants, when the group date card comes on day four. He stretches obnoxiously, waving his legs around in the air to see if anyone says anything.
Nothing.
No one knows they were originally Robert’s pants - how would they? - but he kind of wants to run around, anyway, screaming, “Look who literally got into Robert’s pants first, everyone else stay out!” just so everyone is aware.
He refrains, though, happy to keep it his own little secret.
The date calls for Evan, Cam, Bryce, Jonathan, Cole, Casey, Frankie, Juan, and Elijah. Derek reads it out loud to the group, the disappointment on his face evident when he doesn’t call out his own name. “Let’s belt it out together. Robert.”
Aaron is sitting next to Frankie on the couch, and he nudges him with his arm. “You’re going to an opera house, mate.”
“Oh, God, you think?”
“This show has no limits. Enjoy singing in front of thousands of people.”
He rolls his eyes, still obviously not the biggest fan of Aaron - no one is, after his winning streak of earning the first impression rose and first one-on-one date - but when he sees Frankie start nervously twisting his fingers together, Aaron smirks.
Good. If he’s uncomfortable enough on the date, he’ll fuck up, and that’s one more out the door.
Christ, when did he get so territorial?
Robert enters the mansion about two hours later, wearing black jeans similar to the ones he wore on his date with Aaron, but this time, instead of a t-shirt, he has on a blazer and his hair is tamed.
“Hi, everyone,” he says with a smile.
A couple of the guys get up from their seat on the couch to greet him, and when he wraps his arms around Chas’s shoulders, Aaron looks down at his lap.
“I’m excited about our date today!” he continues. “There’s a car out front waiting for us, so let’s get going!”
The group cheers and they make their way out through the door, leaving Aaron and the others behind. He looks back up just in time to see Robert staring at him. He winks and mouths, “Nice pants.” And then he’s out the door, too.
Aaron goes upstairs and rifles through his laundry until he finds Robert’s gift shop t-shirt. It smells mostly like Aaron now, Robert’s cologne faded, but he yanks it over his head, anyway, climbs into his bunk, and promptly falls asleep for four hours.
The men come back late - not as late as Aaron had for his own date, which none of them had really pried over when he arrived back in the morning, thank God - and they’re all pretty rowdy, pissing Aaron off when they come into the bedroom, turning all the lights on. He grumbles and turns over on his stomach, putting his pillow over his head.
Someone taps his shoulder. “Aaron.”
Aaron groans louder and ignores them.
“ Aaron. ”
“Ugh. What do you want.” He rolls over and squints in the light. It’s Cam. “And what time is it?”
“Like, four in the morning.”
Aaron’ laugh sounds strangled. “It’s like you have a death wish.”
“Move over. ‘m getting in.”
He’s too tired to argue, so he rolls, pulling the blankets up to his chin. He can smell the alcohol on Cam. “Did you drink an entire troth of rum?”
Cam wiggles underneath the sheets, and Aaron realizes he’s still wearing his dress pants. “Not a whole troth. Just, like, half.”
Aaron snorts. “Charming.”
“Are you gonna ask me how the date went?”
“No, because it’s four in the morning.”
“Come on! I asked you how yours went!”
“Cam, this is weird. You’re drunk and in my bed and I don’t want to talk about your date with the same guy I just went on a date on five days ago.”
He grumbles. “Fine.”
“Good talk. Go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Cam goes silent for about six seconds. “So, like, we went to an opera house. Frankie said you totally called that one.”
Aaron resists the urge to punch himself in the face. He knows he won’t be able to go back to sleep until he obliges. “What’d you do at the opera house, Cameron,” he asks, eyes closed.
“We had to learn a song and perform it and I swear to God, I almost puked all over the stage.”
He smiles at that, eyes still closed. “What’d you sing?”
“The second verse of 525,600 Minutes. ”
“Ah, a classic.”
“And everyone laughed at me the whole time. I wished you were there. You would have made an even bigger jackass out of yourself than I did.”
“Well, I’ve heard you sing around the house, love. I can’t say I blame them. And I ,” he says, smacking Cam across the chest, “am an amazing singer.”
“You suck.” He yawns, rubbing his chest. “I’m gonna fall asleep here.”
“Get out of my bunk.”
“Make me.”
Aaron has zero strength to force him out, he’s just so fucking tired, so he leaves him there, annoyed he has to share his covers, relieved he finally has someone in the house that he can consider a friend.
The second cocktail party isn’t nearly as nerve wracking as the first one. This time, the interview chair isn’t as unfamiliar, the tie around his neck doesn’t feel as tight, and the whole process itself doesn’t seem as unnatural. Rather than trying to calm his racing heart like last week, he allows himself to get excited at the prospect of having some alone time with Robert for the first time in five days.
All 20 of them are dressed to the nines, waiting in the main living room for Robert to arrive, Casey wearing a red rose attached to his lapel from the group date, Aaron wearing two - one from the first cocktail party, one from their date - and he’s feeling like a complete and utter jackass because of it.
Robert walks in around 8 o’clock, and Aaron tries to ignore how good he looks. His suit is navy, his tie is black, and his dimple is out and ready to kill. Aaron knows he’ll be targeted even more for what he’s about to do, but…
“Hey, Robert, skip the speech, yeah? Come with me.” He stands to his feet and heads over to Robert, grabs his hand, and starts to drag him outside. Robert goes willingly, and when Michael very audibly says, “This asshole has two roses and he’s still taking Robert away. Unbelievable,” Robert just squeezes Aaron’ hand, reassuring, and their steps fall in sync.
They step out into the cool LA air, hands still linked together. It was unbearably hot earlier, but now with the sun down, it’s comfortable, even in front of the fire pit by the pool.
Settling down on the couch together, Aaron lets go of Robert’s hand in favor of grabbing the pillow next to him and putting it in his lap, playing with the tassels on the edges. “So, heard you forced a bunch of guys to sing fucking opera. Kind of dick of you, mate.”
Robert throws his head back and laughs. “Wasn’t exactly my idea, but it was still fun, regardless.”
“I’ll bet.” He twists the fabric around his fingers. “I’ll also bet I wake up with a shaved head tomorrow.”
He laughs again. “Yeah, bold move to steal me like that.” He shrugs. “Not sure that I mind, though.”
“No?”
He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Been thinking about you a lot since our date.”
“Oh, yeah?” He licks his lips. “What specifically?”
Robert pulls the pillow out of Aaron’ lap and Aaron frowns. “How sarcastic you are, and how funny it always is.”
“One of my best traits.”
He smiles. “How ridiculous your eyes are. So insanely blue, I can’t even believe it.”
“Thanks, I grew them myself.”
“How kind you are,” he continues, “and how smart you are. How good your ass looks in jeans.”
“Harold, please.”
“How pliant you get when I kiss you.”
Aaron’ face heats up. “Did you forget there are cameras recording us right now?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Then you might wanna save that kind of stuff for when we’re not being filmed.”
“Ah, except the other things I’ve been thinking about you are definitely not appropriate for TV. That was me keeping it tame.”
Aaron kind of wants to climb on top of him. He doesn’t, though. Instead, he traces along Robert’s jawline with his pointer finger. “I see the beard burn went away.”
Robert reaches up and grabs Aaron’ finger. “Yeah, it was sore for a day or two.”
“Aw, really?”
Robert nods, smirk playing over his face. “You don’t seem too upset about that, really.”
“Huh. Probably because I’m not.” He leans forward, placing his hands on Robert’s thighs, feeling his muscles tense under his hands. “So, should I leave the beard? For a bit, yeah?”
He nods. “Yeah. You should leave it. Come here.”
They both start to lean in, Aaron’ hands gripping tightly on Robert’s thighs, Robert’s breathing audible, and he starts to let his eyes slip shut when a voice behind them says, “Uh, hey guys. Robert, mind if I steal you?”
Aaron turns and sees Michael standing there, looking as smug as ever, and Aaron wants to drown him in the pool’s waterfall. He clears his throat. “Go ahead, mate. You haven’t had much time with Robert here yet, right?” He smirks. “Not sure he even knows your name.”
Michael balls his fists up and opens his mouth to retaliate, but Robert cuts him off. “I know your name is Michael, and it’s good to see you again.” He turns to Aaron. “I’ll see you inside in a bit, Aaron.” He doesn’t look annoyed, though. If anything, he looks amused.
Aaron nods. “Yes, you will. And you’ll see me next week, too, thanks to my beautiful roses. Plural. Have a nice chat, you two.”
During the rose ceremony later that night, Aaron stands amongst the other men, safe from elimination. He stands, bored, as Robert calls out name after name. It goes quicker than last week, but it’s still tedious due to all the stalling and pauses, and by the end of it, Aaron’ feet are throbbing from standing in the same spot for so long, his new shoes not properly broken in yet.
Elijah, Vic, and Rob go home, leaving 17 left. They all hold up flutes of champagne to celebrate, and if Aaron “accidentally” bumps into Michael a little harder than necessary on his way by, champagne spilling out of the side of Michael’s glass, no one has to know.
Being on The Bachelor starts to feel like a waiting game. Aaron is forced to watch as Robert takes guy after guy out on date after date, and he’s antsy with the need to get out of this fucking house, to see Robert again, to experience more than just the perfectly decorated patio of this Goddamn LA mansion.
And his patience is wearing thin.
He’s safe for Week Two. He didn’t go on a date with Robert, but he did manage to pull him aside during the cocktail party for the better part of a half hour, luring him to the basketball court around the side of the house. He loosened his tie, set his drink down on the edge of the lawn, and tossed the ball back and forth between his hands.
“Rules are simple, Sugden. Every time you make the shot, the opposing person has to spill a secret. Every time you miss one, you have to spill a secret. Got it?”
Robert smirked and loosened his own tie. “I played basketball in college.”
“Funny, me, too.”
“Did anyone ever trample you?”
“Go ahead, get all the short jokes out now, before I know all your secrets and can crush you with them.”
He laughed. “You’re the perfect size and you’re gorgeous.”
Aaron pretended he wasn’t blushing. “You go first, sap.”
Robert made his first shot, ball dropping in easily. “Tell me a secret about the first time you had sex.”
“Oh, you get to pick what kind of secret it is? Alrighty, then.” He tapped his foot against the pavement. “I lost my virginity on a dare.”
“What?!”
“Yeah. My best mate at the time dared me to seduce the school’s football goalie. I didn’t think it would actually work, but, yeah. Kind of dick of me, looking back on it. And I’m not sure if he knows. So, if you see this, sorry, Phillip.”
Robert laughed. “ Lucky Phillip.”
“Shut up, gimme the ball.” His own shot made it in with a swoosh. “How’d your parents find out you were having sex?”
“Ah, Jesus.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “My mom walked in on me balls deep inside of my girlfriend.”
Aaron threw his head back and laughed. “Amazing.”
“Yeah, not so much.” He took the ball from Aaron’ hands. “I didn’t think she’d be home for hours!”
“Parents lie about that stuff, Robert.”
“Apparently so.” His next shot hit the rim and bounced out. “Fuck.”
“Ha! Okay, another secret. Porn of choice.”
“Why are all of these secrets about sex?”
“You started it.”
“Ugh.” He made a face. “My family is gonna watch this, Aaron.”
“Yeah, mine, too. No mercy.”
“Damnit.” He picked up the ball under the hoop and dribbled it mindlessly. “Jesus, this is embarrassing. Probably… I dunno. I like amateur stuff.”
“Why’s that?”
Robert started to squirm, cheeks reddening, and Aaron loved that he could finally break him down, little by little. “It’s not as phony and there isn’t any stupid dialogue and can we not discuss this anymore in front of our camera crew who’s filming this to air it on national TV?”
Aaron laughed. “Fine. My shot.” It bounces off the rim but successfully goes in. His smile is devilish.
“I don’t want to play this game anymore.”
“Aw, not my fault you’re losing. Another secret. I’ll go a little easier on you. What’s typically your type?”
Robert rubbed his jaw. “Physically, I like a guy who’s shorter than me. I like being able to hold someone. I love a genuine smile, nice arms…” He waggled his brows. “Nice butt.”
Aaron cocked his hip. “You describing me personally?”
“Well, look at that. Seems you fit within that category.”
Robert’s next shot went in - finally - and he made Aaron describe his favorite positions in bed. It was unbearably awkward, but obvious payback for asking about his favorite type of porn, so he took it in stride, explaining in great detail about his love for the sex swing, and his demonstration made Robert laugh so hard, he was nearly in tears.
The game went on, each question more embarrassing than the next, and Aaron was relieved - and surprised - that no one from inside the mansion bothered to come outside to steal Robert from him.
After Robert’s sixth missed shot, Aaron scoffed, “I thought you said you played basketball in college. This is humiliating. For you, anyway.”
“I’m distracted ,” he said, frustrated. Without another word, he dropped the basketball to the ground and pushed Aaron backward up against the basketball pole. “Can you blame me?”
Aaron idly scratched the metal behind him with his fingernail and pretended to not affected. “Distracted over what?”
“How am I supposed to make a single successful shot with you standing there in a suit that looks like it was basically painted on and discussing your sex life?”
“What, are you you 14-years-old? Can’t take a little talk about sex without crying about it?”
“No. Just.” He slid his hands around Aaron’ waist and held him there. “Wildly attracted to you.”
Aaron exhaled, unaware he was holding his breath. “Kind of hard to do anything about that here, don’t you think?”
“We can make do.” His right hand left its position from Aaron’ hip and slid up into his hair. He tangled his fingers in before he leaned in to kiss him, pressing the entire length of his body up against Aaron’, and Aaron was nearly whining at the way Robert’s breath mingled with his own, the way Robert’s tongue slid into his mouth, the way Robert gripped onto him, possessively and safely.
It was a scorching kiss, one that left Aaron simultaneously satisfied and desperate for more, and when Robert pulled away, his hands dragging up and down his back, Aaron had to close his eyes at the intensity of Robert’s gaze.
And even without a date for the week, Aaron was still the first one called to accept a rose at the rose ceremony later that night, securing his safety for yet another seven days. As Robert pinned the rose to Aaron’ lapel, he leaned in and whispered, “Were you serious about the sex swing thing?”
Obviously not, but now Aaron had to play along. “Wouldn't you like to know?”
“I would, actually.”
The way Robert said it, fists clenched and eyes wide, made Aaron’ cheeks burn and his throat go dry and three days later, Robert is still completely under his skin and Aaron’ not sure he's ever going to be able to get rid of him.
Christ, it wasn’t enough. It’s not enough. And he wants more.
Aaron wakes up on the first day of Week Three by Cam ripping his blankets off of him and pinching his bare chest.
“What the fuck was that for?!”
“Come on, up, Tommo. Date card is here.”
He pulls the blankets back up. “What time is it. It feels like I just fell asleep. No way am I getting up. I’m too tired and this is what dying feels like.”
“Biggest drama queen I’ve ever known, up. ” He pulls off the blankets again, and then yanks them off the bed all of the way, dropping them on the floor.
“Worst human ever ,” Aaron calls out as Cam heads out the door, middle finger up over his shoulder.
He grabs a sweatshirt and heads downstairs, joining the shrinking group of now 14 other men. They’re all standing in the kitchen and he stands next to Bryce, leaning against the refrigerator door.
Casey reads the card to the group. “Cam, Chas, Michael, Casey - hey, that’s me! - Aaron, and Alec, what will you let stand in the way of love? Robert.”
At the mention of his name, he stands up a little straighter and looks around the room. “Well, boys, it looks like we’re going on a date tonight. Who’s ready?”
Michael looks like he would rather swallow poison than go on a date with Aaron by his side, and Aaron takes that in stride.
He’s back .
Robert shows up an hour later in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, hair pushed back by a Nike headband. He rubs his hands together. “Who’s ready to fuck shit up?”
Lydia scoffs from behind her camera. “Try that one again.”
“Who’s ready to have an enjoyable, G rated day, friends?”
Aaron pumps his fist in the air. “I am, Robert! Woo-hoo! A lovely day to play in the sun!”
She rolls her eyes again as Robert nearly snorts. “You two are the absolute worst people here, I swear. Get out of my face.”
Robert leans forward to high five Aaron, fingers lingering on Aaron’ palm for a second too long, then pats Lydia on the back. “You’re always so tense.”
“Yeah, because I have to deal with you .”
“I’ll try not to take offense to that.” He rubs his hands together again. “Who’s ready to get their game on?” He turns to Lydia and the other producers. “Better?”
“Good enough.”
“Alright, let’s head out.”
The group of them pile into a van and make their way down the mansion driveway, turning left out of it, and they drive for about twenty minutes until they stop in front of a dirt road.
“Men,” Robert says very seriously, “it’s war.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Did you know I’ve been deemed most dramatic of the bunch? It’s like none of them have ever met you before.”
Robert covers Aaron’ face with his hand and shoves him out of the way. “I said. It’s war.”
They all jump out of the van single file, Aaron trying not to be too obvious that he’s stalling so he can walk beside Robert uninterruptedly. He kicks some dirt and rocks with his foot, looking up at the sky, whistling. “Any day now, Sugden.”
He laughs and climbs out of the van, sliding the door shut behind him. “You waiting for me?”
“No, waiting for Casey. Where’d he go?”
He smiles. “You’re a jackass.”
“I missed you, too.”
Aaron starts to take off, following the other men, but Robert grabs his elbow and pulls him back. “I did miss you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
He nods. “I’m excited for this date. It’s a little more your speed.”
“So, you’re not gonna make me nearly throw up from terror?”
“Nah, not today.”
“That’s good to know, thanks.”
“No problem.” He shrugs. “Wish I could have you to myself, though. Just for a little bit.”
“You say that to all the boys?”
“No.” His tone is firm and his gaze is unwavering, searching Aaron’ face for any sign of uneasiness.
“Well. You’ll get me to yourself at the end, yeah? That’s usually how these bloody group dates work?”
“Mhm. Usually. But this group date, you have to win to see me later.”
“What’s that now?”
“Have you not been listening? I told you. It’s fucking war.”
Aaron looks around behind him and for the first time, notices a sign. He laughs. “Robert, are we…”
“Look alive, Tommo. It’s paintball time. Make sure you’re on the winning team if you don’t want to go home early tonight.” He smacks him playfully on the ass and starts to jog off. “Go change. I’ll be the cute one on the field all in black,” he calls over his shoulder.
“I highly doubt that!” he yells back. “And yes, I am ready to fuck shit up!”
Lydia stamps her feet from behind the camera, Dale grumbling, as well. “Aaron, for the love of God, knock it off! Do you know how much editing we have to do because of you?!”
“Just keeping life interesting for everyone,” he says, taking off after Robert.
Aaron, Casey, and Alec make up the red team; Cam, Michael, and Chas make up the blue team. Robert, indeed, wears all black, and stands in the center of the field, paintball gun in hand, facial expression firm and unyielding, obviously exaggerated. He breaks, though, when he sees the red team step out onto the field, all three men in their battle gear, complete with black warpaint under their eyes in thick, heavy lines.
“Where’d you find the black paint?!”
Alec shrugs. “Ask the crazy one.”
“Aaron, where’d you steal that from?”
Aaron puts his hand to his chest and gasps in fake astonishment. “Why’d you assume it was me who he was talking about and not Casey?!”
Robert makes a face and rolls his eyes. “I’m sure that isn’t a serious question.”
He continues to pout. “Whatever, Sugden. Let’s move on.”
He smiles. “Anyway. As you can see, we’re obviously playing a nice, friendly round of paintball today. Object of the game is to hit the opposing team as many times as you can, whilst protecting yourself. The more paint you have on you by the end, the worse off you are. And pay attention, because I’m going to be switching back and forth between the two teams, so be aware. Be stealth, be smart, be quick on your feet.” He rubs his hands together. “Oh, and keep in mind that the losing team has to go home immediately following the game, and the winners will stay here with me. God speed.”
“Look at him, what a smug bastard,” Aaron says under his breath.
“I can hear you.”
“Well, I wasn’t whispering.” He turns to Casey and Alec. “Okay, we need a strategy.”
Alec nods. “Actually, I used to be on a paintball team. For fun, but, it’s something.”
“Oh!” Aaron slaps Alec on the back. “My man, Alec! Perfect. What’ve you got for us?”
“Alright, so you’d think that separating and splitting up would make it harder for them to target us. However, if we stay clumped together, we’ll always have an eye out at all times. No surprise sneak attacks on us.”
Casey nods. “Exactly. And we only break apart if they start to target us as a whole.”
Aaron rubs his hands together. “‘kay. All sounds great. Bring it in.” They all put their hands on top of one other’s, and Aaron pauses. “Wait, so, like, when you get hit, does it hurt?”
Casey smirks. “You’ve never played before, have you?”
He winces. “No?”
Alec laughs. “Oh, good, the fastest one of the group has no fucking idea what he’s doing.”
“I’m a quick study! I can figure it out!”
“I hope so, and you better learn now. ”
“Okay, but no one answered me, does it hurt when you get shot?!”
Alec backs up several yards and instead of answering, he holds up his gun and shoots Aaron directly in the leg.
“What the fuck was that?! Son of a bitch!” Aaron screams, jumping from foot to foot.
“Did it hurt?”
“ Yes, you fucking dick! Oh my God!”
“Good, now you have all the more reason to want to run. Because let me tell you, paintball gun welts do not feel great.”
“You think?!” He rubs his shin through his gear, which does next to nothing to help the sting. “Also, you just wasted a shot on your own team, so, good going, jackass.”
“It’s fine,” Alec says, waving his hands around. “Look at the other team. Chas is, like, the least athletic person I’ve ever known and Michael is acting like he’s never been outside before.”
Aaron peers over at the blue team. Alec is right. Chas’s flushed from just putting on his equipment, and Michael is looking directly into the barrel of the gun, trying to figure out how to work it. Fucking idiot.
He turns back to Alec and Casey. “So, Cam is really the only threat then, yeah?”
Casey nods. “Seems that way.”
“Okay, so, we’ll target him, and the other two will just be an added bonus.”
“It’s a plan.” Alec shifts his gun from one hand to the other. “Don’t forget to watch out for Robert.”
“How will we know when he’s on our team and when he isn’t?” Casey asks.
And as if on cue, a buzzer goes off loudly, an announcer’s voice booming through the loudspeaker, “Blue team’s advantage.”
Aaron hosts his gun up over his shoulder. “Alright, boys, it’s currently four against three. Operation: destroy Sugden.”
“That’s not the object of the game!” Robert calls out from the other side of the field.
“It is right now. You said it yourself, kid, this is war.”
Over the next 60 minutes, Aaron, Casey, and Alec run in and out of hiding spots around the field, taking aim at their opposing team, and even though they didn’t give much credit to Cam and Company, they’re handing it to them now. Chas was clearly playing dumb, because he’s their strongest teammate, shooting at them before they even know what’s happening.
Funnily enough, the worst one is Robert, and Aaron outwardly groans whenever the buzzer goes off, signaling his switch to their team. He’s so fucking slow, can’t pick up the pace to race with the rest of them, and he always seems to give their hiding spot away, sticking his head out in wide open space at the exact wrong moment, blowing their cover. He’s more of a burden, than anything, and being four against three ends up being a disadvantage. At one point, Casey actually highfives Aaron behind Robert’s back as the buzzer goes off, Robert switching to the other team.
His arms are sore, so fucking sore from holding up this ridiculously heavy gun for so long, and every time he gets shot, his whole body aches with the sting of it. It’s honestly a shitty date, all things considering, but whenever Robert trips over himself or laughs so hard he snorts, or purposefully grabs Aaron’ arm on the way by, baking in the LA sun with paintball equipment strapped to his body doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it did before.
They have about 90 seconds left on the clock, Robert’s on their team, and based on appearances and amount of paintballs left in their possession, it seems like the score is fairly close. Aaron genuinely has no idea if they’re on top or not.
He reaches under his helmet and wipes the sweat from his forehead, dangerously close to dripping into his eyes, and he peers over at the timer, seeing that they have less than a minute left. Christ, he just wants to lay down.
But then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cam positioning himself to take his shot. Aaron can tell by the way he’s aiming that it isn’t at him, but it’s at someone on his team. He straightens his back and looks around the corner, and there stands Robert, helpless and oblivious, like a damn baby deer in the woods, unaware he’s about to be hunted down. Absolutely pathetic.
Aaron gives it about five seconds of thought before he reacts. He could ignore it, he could shoot Cam in retaliation, he could scream Robert’s name to get his attention. Instead, he does the most over-the-top thing he can think of: he dives in front of Robert whilst shrieking like he’s on fire just as Cam pulls the trigger.
He can hear Cam hysterically laughing before he even hits the ground, and Alec screaming, “If we just lost because of that, you’re dead fucking meat, Tommo!”
The final buzzer goes off. The game is over. Thank God.
He looks down to see where he was hit, and he can’t believe it was fucking red paint, splattered all over his chest. He lets his head fall back against the dirt. “Robert,” he murmurs out, weakening his voice. He reaches out. “They got me, baby.”
Robert has tears in his own eyes he’s laughing so hard. “You took a bullet for me.”
He gestures at his chest. “Right in the heart. Look at all this blood.”
“Oh my God.” He’s laughing even harder now. “My true hero.”
“The end is near. I see the light.”
“You’re too pretty to die, I’ll help you up.”
“Thank you,” he croaks out, standing to his feet and adding in a limp for good measure, wobbling for no apparent reason. “Oh, and Robert?”
“Yes, dear?”
“You suck at paintball.”
Aaron, Alec, and Casey end up winning, even with Aaron’ idiotic move at the very end, and he’d like to say he’s sad to watch the blue team make their way back on the van, but, well, he isn’t.
Before they leave for part two of the date, Lydia pulls Aaron aside for a quick interview and he dramatically coughs up some dirt before he starts speaking.
“Today was a tough day,” he says, blinking into the sunlight. “I had a near death experience.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Honestly, Aaron.”
“But it was worth it, to keep my boy alive.”
He can hear Robert laughing from inside the van. “What would I have ever done without you?” he calls out through the closed window.
“Keeled over and died, probably. Useless on the battlefield, you were.”
“Okay, no more, get in the van.”
He turns back to the camera. “You heard him. Let’s move.”
It’s the most informal of dates yet. None of them shower after paintballing, so there’s dirt and smears of paint stuck to them everywhere, welts and bruises forming across their skin from where they’d been shot, and they all put their sweatpants and t-shirts back on instead of putting on a suit like usual.
They make their way to a rooftop pool, which isn’t too far out of the ordinary, but instead of a fancy sit down dinner that typically accompanies dates on The Bachelor , there are boxes of pizza and containers of Chinese food spread out before them. Aaron thinks he could tear up, he’s so pleased.
They all settle in, Aaron immediately grabbing for a slice of buffalo chicken pizza, and he pulls his knees up to his chest on the chair, eating happily. It’s a bit odd to be on a date with Robert and two other guys, but it’s better than the alternative of not being here at all, so he takes it in stride and reaches for a second piece.
They eat and joke and drink, awkwardness and tension not really there, and it’s completely dark out by the time they’re all reaching for the bathing suits that they were instructed to bring.
Aaron heads into the bathroom and pulls them over his hips, looking at himself in the full length mirror. The black war paint is smeared all across his cheekbones and there are splatters of yellow and green paint on his neck and hands. What really stands out, though, is the enormous welt raised off of his chest, right above his heart. It’s tender to touch, and every time he twists just right, he winces. Swimming isn’t an option now, no way.
Damn paintball.
He heads back outside and sees Alec, Casey, and Robert already in the pool, water illuminated by an underwater light. He sits on the edge, letting his feet dangle in. It’s cool, but comfortable, and he wiggles his toes. He looks up when he sees Robert making his way over to him.
“Not coming in?”
Aaron shrugs. “My chest kinda hurts from earlier. Not sure I want to irritate it anymore.”
Robert nods. “Okay. Come with me.” He hoists himself out of the pool, his back muscles taut, and once he’s standing, dripping wet onto the pavement, he reaches down for Aaron’ hand. “Up.”
He gets to his feet, using Robert’s hand for balance, and follows him around the side of the building. There’s a hot tub bubbling and he can nearly feel the steam from 20 feet away. They climb in together, Aaron doing his best to ignore the fact that he has an audience of crew members, as well as Alec and Casey positioning themselves so they can peek around from their position in the pool.
The water is hot but feels incredible on his sore muscles. He closes his eyes and leans back, letting the jets do their job, letting his legs tangle with Robert’s. They sit there in silence for a while, Aaron loses track of time entirely, but opens his eyes when he feels Robert’s hand on his leg.
“Can I help you?”
Robert smirks. “Wanted to make sure you hadn’t just died on me.”
“Nope, still alive and kicking.”
“That’s good to hear, especially after your near death experience in the battle zone today.”
Aaron laughs. “It’s true. Almost died earlier.”
“It was very honorable,” he replies, stroking his thumb along the inside of Aaron’ thigh. “Should get you a medal.”
“It would look good on me.”
“Mmm, most things do.”
He shakes his head. “Your lines are so cheesy.”
“But they work for you.”
“Sometimes,” he admits.
Robert moves in closer and drags his fingers across Aaron’ chest. “You do realize Cam was only, like, ten feet away when he shot his gun, right?”
“No, actually, I didn’t. I wouldn’t have dived in front of the damn gun if I knew.”
“Aw, and here I was, thinking you were being a hero.”
He laughs, but the strain on his chest makes him wince. “Shit.”
Robert frowns. “Okay, you’re actually hurt, and I don’t like that.”
“It’s alright, it’ll be good as new in the morning.”
“I don’t know about that.” He traces over the welt gently with his thumb. “You took a bullet for me.”
Aaron snorts. “It was paint, Robert.”
“No, you took a bullet for me.”
“Okay, fine. I took a bullet for you.”
“I know .” He bends forward slowly, his breath hot against Aaron’ chest. He tentatively drags his lips across the bruised welt, kissing the spot gently, working his way up to Aaron’ neck, his jaw. Aaron is completely still, frozen. Robert pulls back and grips Aaron’ wrists. “C’mere.”
Aaron slides himself on top of Robert’s lap and puts his own hands on Robert’s chest. He can’t come up with any words to say before he presses his forehead against Robert’s, closing his eyes, rocking forward slightly. Robert groans and grips at Aaron’ back, surging up to kiss him, and Aaron can’t do anything other than let it happen.
Over the past couple of weeks, Aaron has become familiar with the way Robert tastes, the way he likes to be kissed, the way he cradles Aaron’ head when he really wants him, and it’s a lot, knowing he’s lucky enough to get Robert like this, to know his ins and his outs, to feel him growing harder underneath him with every swipe of the tongue and rock of his hips.
He digs his fingernails into Robert’s chest, stomach clenching when he hears Robert’s breathing change into something deeper and raspier, and he opens his mouth more, tongue sliding against Aaron’, hands gripping at any part of him he can reach. It’s like Robert’s mapping out his entire body with his own and Aaron wants to curl up into himself from the intensity of it.
If he doesn’t force himself to slow it down right now, he won’t have the willpower to do it later, so he reluctantly pulls back, Robert’s grip tightening on his back, his breathing labored.
“Cameras. And things,” he manages to grit out, trying to make sure his own hard on isn’t noticeable.
Robert’s lips are parted, the end of his hair is wet from the water, his waterline a little bit red from chlorine irritation, and Aaron isn’t sure he’s ever been so attracted to him. Robert clears his throat. “Yeah. And things.”
Aaron rocks forward again, and the friction is so good, he has to do it one more time. “Want you,” he murmurs under his breath, unable to stop himself.
Robert nearly whines at that, hands gripping at Aaron’ waist tighter even tighter. “Could nearly lose my mind thinking about you, I swear to God, Aaron.”
“Shit.” He leans forward and kisses him again, can’t help it, keeping his palm pressed flat against Robert’s chest. His heart is beating like crazy, and that only encourages Aaron to kiss him deeper.
Robert’s the one to pull away first this time, kissing just below Aaron’ ear instead. “We have to get out,” he whispers.
He groans. “Don’t wanna.”
“I don’t either.” He slides his hands down Aaron’ sides and around to his back, palming at his ass. “Not gonna be able to stop thinking about you later.”
Aaron swallows. “The feeling is mutual.”
Robert drops his hands reluctantly back into the water, causing a small splash. “Okay. Okay, gotta cut this shit out.” He tries to laugh but it comes out sounding slightly hysterical.
“Yeah, let’s get out. I’ll go eat more Chinese food and pretend I’m actually hungry.”
Robert forces out a smile. “You go first. I wanna watch you walk away.”
“Oi, you perv.” But he climbs off of Robert, out of the hot tub, and sways his hips way more than he normally would, Robert whistling behind him.
Aaron doesn’t get the rose at the end of the date - that goes to Alec - but he does receive the first rose of the night at the cocktail party two days later, and when Robert pins it to his lapel, he whispers so quietly, Aaron almost misses it, “Thank you for saving me,” and Aaron isn’t sure if he’s referencing paintball or something else entirely.
They get the news that they’re flying to Vail, Colorado, and Aaron is ecstatic. He’s never been to Vail before, and he’s heard the skiing and snowboarding conditions are supposed to be excellent this time of year. He assumes their group date will be on the mountain, and for the first time since this whole thing started, he actually hopes to be on the group date.
They arrive in Colorado early Thursday morning after a short flight, and his name is called for the group date. It’s a mountain date, just like he figured, and when Robert arrives at their hotel, bundled up in a heavy fur jacket, Aaron wastes no time in telling Robert how excited he is, solely for the reason that they’re heading to the mountains.
Robert laughs. “So, it has nothing to do with me?”
“Absolutely not. I just want to ski.”
“Glad we got that cleared up.”
“I concur.”
The group of six, plus Robert, load up into the van, their snow pants and jackets making them look like they’ve each gained an additional 15 pounds, and when they arrive at the bottom of the mountain, Aaron audibly gasps.
It’s positively breathtaking, like the scene out of a movie. There’s a gentle snowfall, families all around are gearing up to hit the slopes, and the peak of the mountain is hidden behind a layer of clouds, high up in the sky. Aaron breathes into his hands, warming them up, unable to tear his eyes away from the beauty before him.
“Gentlemen,” Robert starts, looking around the van, “today, we ski.”
Aaron nudges Elliott with his elbow. “Race you to the bottom. Loser buys the winner hot chocolate with Bailey’s.”
He snorts. “Deal.”
Everyone climbs out, stretching and shaking out the ache in their bones from the car ride, and they make their way to the bottom of the mountain, each strapping on their skis, size determined earlier in the day. He’s clicking his boots into the skis when he feels Robert come up behind him.
“You gonna spend the day on the bunny slope, Sugden?”
Robert laughs. “Yeah, I am. Actually, we all are.”
Aaron stands up straight. “Pardon?”
He backs up. “Hey, everyone. Don’t get too excited yet.” He points to tiny hill to his right, itty, bitty snowbunnies wobbling on and off of the magic carpet conveyor. “First, we’re going to be teaching that group of 4-year-olds the basics. And go easy on them, it’s their very first time ever skiing.”
Aaron puts his face into his hands. “Robert! Oh, God, these poor kids. They have to deal with the lot of idiots.”
He smirks. “I’m sure they’ll survive.”
“Uh, they’d better.” He puts his gloves back on and groans. “I judge you, honestly, for thinking this was a good idea. Actually, I blame their parents. What stable minded adult would think it’s all fine and dandy to give their kid to a stranger on a reality TV show to teach them how to slide down a mountain with slippery sticks tied to their feet?!”
“Wow, really not giving the sport of skiing a good name, there Aaron. Or their parents.”
“I’m just saying .” He grabs his poles and starts to push forward. “If one of them falls and breaks something, I’m suing you.”
“ You’re gonna sue me?”
“You heard me.”
Robert laughs. “Okay, you’re gonna need to relax. The hill is barely even a hill. It’s, like, a baby incline. No one’s going to get hurt, and after the lesson is over, we can all head up to the top in the gondola and have a grand ol’ time.”
“Ugh. The gondola.”
“Are you afraid of that, too?!”
“What don’t you understand about a fear of heights, Robert?!”
“How else did you expect to get to the top of the mountain?”
“Teleportation, obviously. Or maybe I can work on materializing.”
Robert rolls his eyes. “Okay, well you work on that, and I’m gonna go join the rest of the guys and teach a bunch of adorable, rosy-cheeked preschoolers how to ski.”
Aaron clutches his heart. “Hit me right where it hurts the most, okay, I’m coming.”
As it turns out, the kids are tougher than the men are. Aaron is paired with a redhead named George, and when he asks George if he’s nervous, his response is, “No… Why, are you?”
Aaron laughs. “A little, yeah. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
George looks down at himself. “I’m wearing so many coats, I think that even if I fell, it would be like landing on a giant cushion. So. You can relax.”
His eyes went wide at that and he turned to Lydia. “Did you pair me with myself ?”
She cocked a brow. “Funny, hmm?”
“Yeah, for you maybe.” He turns his attention back to George. “Alright, what do you know so far?”
“That these are really hard to kick off,” he says, pointing at his boots.
Aaron holds back another laugh. “You’re right. They’re pretty tight. But that’s for a reason. Watch.” Aaron leans forward in his own boots, body going forward but feet going nowhere. “It’s so if you lean forward and backward and side to side, your skis stay put.”
“Oh. Like cement.”
“A bit, yeah. Just, easier to work with.” Aaron snaps off his own skis, then crouches down next to George. “But, if you fall, these clips here will release, which is a good thing, because falling down and then getting all tangled up in skis would hurt.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I would like that.” He frowns. “Am I gonna fall?”
“Maybe. Probably, actually. But that’s okay. Because the first fall is the scariest, but after that, it’s cake.” He vaguely hears Lydia mumble under her breath about how perfect that line is for the show and she couldn’t have written it better herself, but he ignores her, flipping her off inside his glove as if she can see it.
“Mmm. I like cake.”
Aaron laughs and puts his skis back on. “Don’t we all. Alright, George. Let me show you how to snowplow.”
For the next 90 minutes, Aaron takes the lead, showing George how to glide from left to right, how to fall without hurting himself, how to stop, how stand up, how to gain speed, and how to load onto the magic carpet ski lift safely. It’s going fairly well, and George seems to be enjoying it, only complaining about being cold and having to pee seven or eight times, respectable for a 4-year-old. He’s helping him onto the lift for what feels like the millionth time when Robert skis up next to them.
“Seems like it’s been going pretty well so far.”
Aaron nods. “Yeah, you been watching?”
“Mhm. Just making sure you didn’t let George break any bones, here.”
George turns to Robert. “Um, please don’t let him break my bones.”
Aaron smiles. “I want to keep him, I think.”
“I’m spoken for!”
“Shh, George, on the lift you go.” He makes sure George has his feet steady on the moving platform and then turns back to Robert. “How’re the other guys doing?”
“For the most part, decent. Poor Matt, though…”
“Why, what’s wrong with Matt?” He looks across the bunny slope and sees Matt with his 4-year-old in addition to an actual ski instructor. “Wait, why does he have genuine help?”
“Because apparently, Matt is more useless than his preschooler and she ended up teaching him. It didn’t occur to me that some of you might lack basic athleticism skills.”
Aaron pretends to be offended. “ I am not in that category, Harold. I can hold my own. And George is basically ready for the double black diamond at this point, all thanks to me.” They both look up just in time to watch George trip and fall off the end of the conveyor belt, face first into the snow. “Okay, maybe not double black diamond. Regular black diamond could probably suffice. George! I’m coming!” he calls out, taking off up the hill, and he can’t stop smiling at the way Robert is hysterically laughing behind him.
The rest of the morning goes by without a hitch. Aaron (reluctantly) says goodbye to his redheaded partner in crime and they split into two groups to take the gondolas up to the peak of the mountain.
Aaron swallows when he sees the height of the mountain, sunlight glistening at the top. He shakes his head. “This is dumb, yeah?” he says out loud to no one in particular. “We’re perfectly secure in this Godforsaken metal swinging contraption a hundred feet in the air and nothing is going to happen.”
Lydia says something first. “Babe, if you can hike the Golden Gate Bridge, then you can do this. You don’t even have to move. Just sit there and close your eyes.”
He takes a deep breath through his nose. “That’s what she said.”
“Oh, for the love of God.”
He’s ready to load into the first gondola with Elliott, Matt, and Daniel - Robert back in group two - with shaky hands and erratic breathing when he hear Robert say behind him, “Sorry, guys, gotta hitch a ride in the first gondola. I’ll see you all at the top.” His hands are bare, but warm, when he places his palm against Aaron’ neck, squeezing. “No more dates with heights, okay?”
Aaron forces out a breathy laugh. “That would be swell.”
Matt leans forward. “Tommo, how do you expect us to have a race to the bottom if it takes a full team to get you up the mountain?”
He shrugs. “Was hoping I wouldn’t be nervous this time around, but here we are.”
The gondola takes the turn and inches toward them, doors open. Robert nudges him. “Go ahead, Aaron. Climb in. I’ve got you.”
The five of them slide in together, camera crew holding back, and Aaron is relieved for the break. But then he catches the cameras in each corner of the gondola, ready to catch another fine moment of his, and he groans.
Robert leans in close and whispers quiet enough that the other guys can’t hear, “This is much easier than the bridge. We’re sitting. And we don’t have to move. You’re good.” He puts his hand on Aaron’ knee, and even though Aaron can barely feel it through the snow pants, it’s a comfort, anyway. “So fucking good.”
He keeps whispering things to him the entire way up, a lot of it stupid or meaningless, but it does the trick, and Aaron couldn’t care less about the way the other guys are staring at him, not when he has Robert’s breath against his cheek and words trapped in his mind.
The mountain air is freezing, nearly steals your oxygen, but the beauty around it is enough to compensate.
The group of them fuck around at the top for a bit, Aaron stuffing snow down Matt’s back, and Daniel laughs, saying it’s like they’re on a weird, sexually charged field trip for adult men.
Aaron snorts at that, because how true, and proceeds to shove more snow into Matt’s coat.
The rest of the night is fantastic; the powder is fresh, the gondola isn’t too bad as long as he has someone there with him to distract him from the height, and there’s dog sledding, for God’s sake. It’s a kick ass date - right up there amongst his favorite things to do - with one exception: he hasn’t seen Robert in nearly three hours.
He stands outside of the lodge, camera on his face, talking to Lydia and the rest of the crew. “Yeah, this date has been amazing so far,” he says, breath visible in the cold air. “Like, absolutely sick. I’ve never seen something so beautiful before. Haven’t seen much of Robert though.” He points over his shoulder. “I’m hoping he’s in the lodge. I’m gonna go find him, if you’ll excuse me.”
He takes off his skis and heads inside the lodge, making Elliott pay for his hot chocolate with Bailey’s, when he finally spots Robert out of the corner of his eye, taking off his helmet and shaking his hair loose. Aaron whistles, grabbing Robert’s attention, and he waves him over.
Robert walks over, heavy boots clunking with each step, cheeks rosy. “Good day so far?”
Aaron nods. “Yeah. Elliott here is buying me hot chocolate. I bet it’ll taste like first place.”
Elliott rolls his eyes. “Take it, you brat.”
He inhales the steam. “Mmm. Smells like a champion’s drink.”
Robert smirks. “So, you’ve been good on the gondola and stuff, right?”
He takes a sip of his drink and nods. “Yup. Matt and Elliott have been taking care of me.”
“Oh.” Robert shuffles on his feet. “Okay. That’s. That’s good.”
“Yeah… It is good.”
“I know, that’s what I said. It’s fucking awesome.”
“Okay, then…”
Elliott looks back and forth between them a couple of times, clearly uncomfortable, before saying, “Alright, I’m gonna grab some food. I think I saw Chas come in. You guys should come join us.”
Robert nods. “Okay.” He waits until Elliott is out of earshot and turns to Aaron. “Hey, come upstairs with me for a bit.”
“Upstairs?” He cocks his brow. “You got a sex lair up there, Sugden?”
“Yeah, something like that. C’mon.”
The lodge on the second level has been closed off to the public, obviously being reserved for use of The Bachelor only. And the set up is impeccable, as always. The couches are significantly nicer than the ones in the main lodge, there are candles and roses - surprise, surprise - around the room, and the fireplace is lit, making the room warmer and cozier, which is actually nice.
Aaron pulls off his boots, snowpants, and jacket, Robert doing the same, and they sit down on one of the couches together, fire crackling.
Robert puts his hand on Aaron’ knee. “You’ve been pretty much in your element today, huh?”
“Kids, snow, and alcoholic hot chocolate. I’d say so.”
He smiles. “I didn’t see a lot of you today, though.”
“Eh, thought I’d give the other boys a chance with you.”
Robert laughs wholeheartedly, dimple popping out, and Aaron smiles, too. “You’re just that confident, huh?”
“Should I not be?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. I’ve really taken a liking to Dale,” he says, gesturing towards the camera crew.
“Funny, that. Me, too. Gonna have to fight me for him.”
Robert’s still smiling when he reaches out and touches Aaron’ chin. “Is that what his scar is from? Fighting over boys?”
Aaron snorts. “I wish. No, my sister stabbed me with a fork when I was seven.”
“Any reason in particular for the attack?”
“I doubt it. She was, like, one at the time.”
“Oh my God, a baby stabbed you?!”
“Alright, I don’t care for that tone.” He pushes Robert’s hand off of him. “You show me a scar, then. Let’s see if your story is better.”
Robert smirks and lolls his head to the side, exposing his neck. “This mark right here, below my ear.”
Aaron leans in close. “I see it. What happened?”
“It definitely rivals your story. My sister wanted to straighten my hair when I was about 14 and she clearly miscalculated.”
He laughs. “You win. That’s worse.”
“I thought so.” He takes Aaron’ hand again, looking down, tracing his fingers over Aaron’ knuckles. “What’s this scar from?”
Aaron looks down, too, and sees that he’s tracing over a faint white line on his pinky knuckle. “That one’s less humiliating than being nearly stabbed to death than a toddler.”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
“A nail almost went all the way through my hand. I was helping my stepfather build a closet in the new house and I just wasn’t paying attention and… Oops.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, definitely didn’t feel great.”
Robert keeps tracing over the mark in slow, steady motions. Neither of them say anything for a moment, until Robert clears his throat. “I, uh. Sorry for being kind of a dick downstairs.”
Aaron frowns. “Seriously, what was that about?”
He drops his head against the back of the couch, still gripping Aaron’ hand. “Just. Something ugly.”
“Does that something happen to rhyme with shmealousy?”
Robert snorts and sits back up. “Okay, yes, and I’m embarrassed.”
“What could you possibly have to be jealous about? If anything, it should be me. ”
“Yeah, exactly, you just…” He exhales. “You make me fucking crazy . You say that some other guy is taking care of you and, like.” He runs his fingers through his hair with his free hand. “You’re mine to take care of.”
“You’re just that confident?” he echoes, voice wobbling, and if Robert notices, he doesn’t mention it.
He whines. “Stop teasing me.”
“But it’s so easy, love.”
Robert lets go of Aaron’ hand and touches his cheek instead. “Yeah. Really easy.” He doesn’t say anything else before he starts to lean in, Aaron meeting him in the middle.
It’s really slow and gentle, this kiss, not like any of the other ones they’ve shared thus far, and Aaron melts into it. Robert’s hands are in his hair, on the back of his neck, dragging up and down his arms, and just like that, Aaron believes him when he says that he’s his to take care of.
He pushes into it more, climbing up onto his knees, straddling Robert’s lap, and Robert exhales harshly, pulling Aaron into him, mouth opening more to taste one another. He’s impatient, wanting something he can’t have, and that, in turn, causes him to be a little bit bitey, a little too harsh in his movements, but if only seems to encourage Robert. His own movements become frantic, hands moving up underneath Aaron’ shirt, digging into his muscles, and Aaron has to actively hold back a moan when he accidentally grinds down just right, Robert’s hips bucking up into it, murmuring Babyagainst his lips.
They both pull back at exactly the same time when they hear someone coming up the stairs, and Aaron scrambles off of Robert’s lap, his heart racing. This has to be the cruelest situation he’s ever been in, and by the time Chas’s head has popped up from around the corner, Aaron has already thought of four ways to kill him, painfully and slowly.
“Hi, Chas,” Robert says, voice strangled. “Aaron, I’ll see you downstairs?”
“Yep. I’ll be down there.” Thinking about cutting off Chas’s limbs one by one with rusty scissors. Wouldn’t want it to be quick and easy.
“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”
Or maybe I can throw him into a stampede of wild animals. I’ll Mufasa him. “Yup. See you then.”
Matt gets the group date rose, Robert explaining that he was such a good sport skiing when he had clearly never tried it before, either, and as Robert pins the rose to his sweater, Aaron slouches back in his chair, closing his eyes.
Forget Chas. He’s gonna Mufasa himself.
The rest of week number four positively blows. There’s another one-on-one date, this time with Derek, and through a game of telephone, Aaron finds out they’ve spent the day at a vineyard before having dinner overlooking the mountains.
He lifts weights with Cam and Bryce to occupy his mind, imagining his muscles are now so big after one session that he can crush Adam with a single punch for putting him in this situation.
Two days later, the group date card is dropped off, and Aaron presses his palms into his eyes when his name isn’t called, even though he hadn’t expected to be, seeing as he just went on one a few days prior. It’s just.
It’s shit, is what it is.
It’s ridiculous, really, that he feels this impacted by all of it. Coming into this experience, he knew a lot of it would be awkward, a lot if it would be staged, a lot of it would it would be boring and stupid and not him. It doesn’t make it any easier though, because truly, he wasn’t prepared. He has to bribe Lydia to let him call Adam, saying it’s a medical emergency. She can tell it’s a lie, based on the way she rolls her eyes, but the urgency in his voice must set something off inside of her, because she hands him her private phone, anyway.
Adam answers on the third ring. “Hello?”
“I don’t understand what’s happening to me.”
“Aaron! Haven’t heard your voice in four weeks. It’s been amazing.”
“Piss off.”
“How’s it been so far?!”
“Oh, let’s see,” Aaron hisses into the phone, “I went on three dates with some guy I hardly know and I’m already in so deep, I want to lay down in traffic because of it, and it’s all your fault.”
Adam laughs. “Walk me through it.”
He huffs out a frustrated noise. “I don’t get it. I knew we’d be compatible, at least as friends, if anything, but it’s really intense? It’s been a month and that shouldn’t be enough time to feel like I’m coming out of my skin like this, and I don’t know if it’s because I can’t fully have him and it pisses me off…” He pauses and looks down at the floor. “It doesn’t feel like a game anymore. And I feel like an idiot. I’m smarter than this. Right?”
“Aaron, you’re not stupid. Jesus, you’re one of the smartest people I know. Just relax, okay? You’re working yourself up over nothing.”
“It’s not nothing , Adam. If Robert was a guy I met in Chicago under normal circumstances…” He doesn’t know where he’s going with that sentence. He takes a deep breath. “It’s just frustrating to go on a few insane dates and have an incredible time and then have to go through radio silence. I don’t want to play by the rules, I want to do it my way.”
“Okay, but these aren’t normal circumstances.”
“I know.”
“This isn’t you, Dingle.”
“I know .”
“Get your shit together, okay? Robert isn’t going to want a whiny, bitchy Brit.”
“Nice pep talk, thank you.”
“You can always send yourself home if it’s too much, you know.”
Aaron switches the ear from his right to his left. “Absolutely not.”
“And you think that this compatibility goes both ways?”
“Yes.” He’s sure of himself, even with 13 other potential dates. He’s sure they’re good together, so good. But. “Wait, what if he’s better with someone else and I just have no idea?”
“This is exhausting.”
“Yeah, trying being inside my mind.”
“I’ll pass. Just. Don’t build up anything in your head, go with the flow, and be yourself. Be Aaron, okay? You’ll be better than fine.”
Lydia taps him on the shoulder. “Alright, Dingle, all done.”
He sighs. “Adam, I gotta go. Satan’s arrived.”
“Oh, very funny, give me the phone.”
“You’ll be fine,” Adam repeats into the phone. “Call me again when you can. And Aaron?”
“Adam.”
“You don’t have to play by the rules.” He hangs up.
Aaron hands the phone back to Lydia. “Your majesty.”
“Get out of here.”
He heads upstairs, feeling a little better, and walks into the empty bedrooms, four guys missing, out on their date with Robert. He looks around the room, repeating Adam’s words in his head. Be yourself. Be yourself. He doesn’t give it much more thought than that before he starts grabbing random items and hiding them in closets, various duffel bags, under beds, in between mattresses.
It makes him feel minisculey better, especially when the guys arrive home later and no one can find any of their things, confused and somehow missing Aaron’ laughter from his bunk bed.
The night after the second group date of the week is the rose ceremony, and Aaron has so much pent up tension, he doesn’t know what to do with it all. He spends a comical amount of time getting ready, styling his hair three different ways before he settles on the style he had originally, down and swept out of his eyes, and he holds up nine - nine - different ties for Cam to choose between, to which his response is, “You’re out of your fucking mind, Dingle.”
He’s sitting in the common room, tapping his feet on the ground, his fingers against his thighs, and eventually, in between takes, Lydia approaches him.
“Are you okay?”
“Do I not seem okay?”
“You’re… A little antsy.”
His laugh is borderline hysterical. “Me? Antsy?”
“Aaron, did something happen?”
His tapping quickens. “No. Just. This is more than I thought it would be, yeah?”
She nods. “I know.”
“ Do you, though? Like, I can’t even focus. All rationality is out the window at this point.”
“It happens, believe me. Just get to the rose ceremony, have a drink, relax. Then come back to the hotel and sleep for the next 15 hours. It’s just another rose ceremony, Aaron. You’ve done this before.”
He purses his lips together. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It’s just another rose ceremony.”
Except. It’s not. And that’s very clear the second Robert walks through the door, suit tailored impeccably with the smile to match.
It’s like a flip has been switched on this past week. After their first date, he’d been hooked, yes, but it’s the mountain group date that really did him in. It’s the fact that Robert made it extremely obvious that he wants him back, and that’s enough to have him spiraling.
It’s not all in his head. It isn’t . That should be something that settles his nerves, rather than make him feel like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.
He sits very still from his spot on the couch, as patiently as ever, while Robert makes his rounds around the room, pulling Jonathan outside first, and Aaron either needs a drink or to do a 5k around the block.
He can’t make himself get up to steal Robert away from the other guys like he’s done in prior rose ceremonies, or like it’s been done to him. Instead, he’s practically glued to this couch cushion in particular, glass of vodka nearly fused to his right hand, gaze stuck on the back door, frozen.
Robert spends time with each guy, some out by the hotel’s pool, some in the bonus room, some on the patio, and by the time he makes eyes with Aaron at the very end of the night, Aaron thinks if he concentrates hard enough, he could actually combust on the spot.
“Aaron? Come with me?”
Aaron forces his body to move, his legs to lift his weight, and he heads out the door with Robert, hands reaching out for one another the second they’re out of view of the other men.
Robert doesn’t lead them all the way outside; rather, they go into the room they’ve been using as a makeshift interview room. It backs with the main living room, and Aaron can hear every conversation going on beyond the wall.
“Did you want to come in here to eavesdrop?”
Robert smiles. “No. Just wanted to go somewhere that people wouldn’t look for us.”
Aaron swallows, pointing over Robert’s shoulder. “Did you conveniently forget about our crew?”
He takes a step closer, eyes flickering back and forth between Aaron’ eyes and lips, unashamed. “They’re not going to tell on us.” The way he says it makes Aaron shiver.
Aaron takes a step backward, back hitting the wall behind him. “I’m glad you saved the best for last tonight.”
He clears his throat. “Had to.”
“Why’s that?”
His expression is so, so serious and Aaron feels so exposed, like Robert can hear and see and touch all of his secrets. “Because I knew I wouldn’t be able to give you up once I had you.”
The way he’s staring at Aaron is so blatantly obvious - hungry, almost - and Aaron’ sure his expression isn’t much better. He reaches out and touches Robert’s waist. “You didn’t want to, just, I dunno, talk?”
Robert shakes his head. “Not really. Did you?”
“No.”
“Good.”
The instant Robert’s lips are on his, Aaron can feel his tension leave his body. It’s like this is what he needed to calm his nerves, get his mind to stop screaming. He’s not sure what that says about himself, about his character, but he melts into it and pulls Robert in even closer, threading his fingers into Robert’s hair, pulling at the curls before he can stop himself.
Robert’s lips work against his in a way that’s starting to feel more and more familiar, his stomach clenching when Robert’s hands slide down to the small of his back, gripping and kneading his fingers in, like he wants to touch Aaron’ everything.
And Aaron lets him.
It grows a little sloppy from there. Robert pushes Aaron flush up against the wall completely, grabbing his hands and holding them above his head, fingers curling together, and when the guys from the room next over all start laughing at something, Robert pushes his hips forward, grinding slightly.
Aaron can’t take it, the way Robert tastes, the way he keeps touching him, the way his tongue keeps curling into his mouth just so. He’s hard, noticeably hard, and it’s not gonna take much for more than just Robert to notice.
When Robert pulls his mouth off of his - presumably to breathe - his cheeks are red, his lips are swollen and his curls are all completely pulled loose. Aaron hadn’t realized he’d worked his way into his hair so much.
The men laugh at something again, louder this time, and Robert inhales harshly, dipping down to kiss at Aaron’ neck, hands squeezing hard at his ass. Aaron tries and fails to stifle a moan.
“Aaron,” he grits out, quiet.
Aaron whines. “Robert.”
He speaks right into Aaron’ ear, barely audible, muffled, so the mics can’t pick it up. “Are you this hard for me?”
“Fuck you,” he whispers back, rolling his hips forward, answering without speaking.
Robert kisses him again, just as fervently as before, breathing heavily, hands spanning across the width of Aaron’ back. Aaron slides his pointer fingers into the waistband of Robert’s pants and Robert sucks in his stomach, giving Aaron more access.
Aaron pulls back, keeping his hands where they are, and murmurs into Robert’s ear as quietly as he possibly can, “You have no idea how badly I want to get you off.”
Robert drops his forehead to Aaron’, momentarily squeezing his eyes shut. “Can’t say stuff like that when there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“What if there is?”
He shakes his head. “No. Just. Please don’t drive me any crazier than you already are. I’m seriously begging.”
He swallows. “No, you’re not begging. Not yet.”
“Aaron.” His voice is strained. “We have to get back out there and I’m going to be the worst bachelor on the history of the show because I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about you.”
“Who’s gonna know what you’re thinking?”
“Believe me.” He kisses Aaron again on the lips, this time chaste. “ Everyone will be able to know what I’m thinking.”
And he’s right.
The way he can’t stop staring at Aaron is so blindingly transparent, Aaron is bordering on uncomfortable. Fortunately, all of the other guys are all buzzed enough - or stupid enough - that no one says anything, or even notices.
They still have another half hour before they have to start getting ready for the actual rose ceremony portion of the evening, and seven guys are in the kitchen, playing a game of Forty Fives at the bar. Aaron climbs onto one of the bar stools, resting on his elbows, observing.
“How’re we doing so far, boys?” he asks, trying to remain nonchalant, mostly doing a decent job of it, he thinks.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Daniel grumbles.
“He’s a sore fucking loser, that’s what,” Casey laughs.
Robert joins them, taking the empty stool next to Aaron, resting on his elbows, as well. “Who’s winning?”
“So far, so good,” Jonathan says, shuffling through a deck of cards.
Aaron looks over his shoulder and sees the cameras zoomed in on them, but realizes the bartop is blocking them from the waist down. No one can see them; not the crew, not the guys. He puts his hands in his lap, thinking.
Adam’s words have been bouncing around in his head all night, specifically, You don’t have to play by the rules. It’s all he can think about, and it’s the only encouragement he needs when he places his hand dangerously close on the inside of Robert’s thigh.
Robert looks down, then up at Aaron’ face, biting down on his bottom lip.
Aaron slowly shakes his head. “Don’t draw attention to yourself.”
“That’s a little hard, don’t you think?”
“I’ll say it is.”
“Oh my God, your jokes are seriously horrible.”
Aaron smirks, sliding his hand up higher, cupping Robert through his pants. “And that’s coming from you, so they really must be.”
Robert swallows. “Can’t really think of a comeback right now.”
“That’s fine.” He can feel Robert getting harder beneath his palm. “Just don’t focus on me.”
He laughs, sounding strangled. “Yeah, sure.”
Aaron works over Robert slowly, not enough to really do anything, just to keep him on edge and wanting more, but the longer it goes on, the more Aaron is turned on, losing at his own wicked game. Robert’s lips are parted, eyed a little wide, and seriously, how the fuck have these guys not noticed anything? It starts to become too much and he has to stop, drawing his hand back, Robert groaning low in his throat.
“Hey, Aaron, you want in?” Casey asks.
Both Aaron’ and Robert’s heads snap up at the request. “Uh, yeah, sure,” he says. “I’ll play.”
Casey gives him a hand of cards. “Robert? You, too?”
Robert shakes his head. “That’s alright, I’m just watching.”
Aaron doesn’t bother picking up his cards, can’t focus, really, and grabs Robert’s hand under the bartop. Robert doesn’t acknowledge it or look down; the way he’s concentrating on the card game is nearly laughable. No one has ever cared this much about a card game in the history of the planet.
He opens Robert’s hand out flat on his lap and before he can chicken out, carefully starts tracing letters, making sure Robert understands what he’s doing.
M-E-E-T
Robert frowns. “What are you talking about,” he mumbles.
He waits to make sure none of the guys are looking at them, that the camera isn’t focused directly on Aaron, but he’s still nervous to chance it, doesn’t want the mics to pick up anything. Instead, he just looks up at Robert and gives him the same look he gave him from inside the interview room, hoping Robert will catch on.
He does.
“Jesus Christ.” Robert wraps his hand around Aaron’ wrist. “Can’t.”
Aaron draws a question mark onto Robert’s palm.
“It’s against the rules,” he replies, voice barely audible.
He slaps his free palm onto the bartop. “I don’t want to play by these bloody rules!” Based on the way the rest of the guys turn to look at him, he realizes he’s spoken much too loudly, and his cheeks instantly go bright red.
Before he can come up with anything to say, though, Frankie rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a sore loser like Dan over here.”
“Hey,” Dan protests.
“Unless you learned how to play it a different way. What’d they teach you back at home?”
Aaron wants to slam his head into the bartop. “No, sorry, your rules are fine. I’m just being a twat.” The guys shrug and go back to their game, and he looks up at Robert, who has his eyes squeezed shut, cheeks sucked in, clearly trying his hardest not to burst out into laughter. “You can suck a dick, Sugden.”
He smirks at that and grabs Aaron’ hand under the table, flattening his own palm out. He writes out the number 309.
Aaron nods, writing back TIME.
4 AM.
K.
Robert grabs Aaron’ wrist again, much firmer this time, and Aaron is done talking.
Aaron sneaks out of the hotel room at about 3:55 in the morning, buzzing, not tired in the slightest. They’ve all only been in bed for about an hour, but based on the way everyone is dead silent, a couple of snores floating around the room, he figures it’s safe to head out, closing the door softly behind him.
He doesn’t bother putting on shoes - just socks - and the hotel’s carpet is soft beneath his feet. The hallway is empty, no one opening or closing any doors, the lighting dimmed, and as he’s approaching Robert’s door, he realizes it’s the first time in nearly a month that he’s been completely alone, sans showering. He has to close his eyes and take a minute for himself, leaning his head against the wall, breathing in and out.
He knocks on the door gently, tapping twice, and he steps back, looking down at the floor. Robert pulls the door open slowly, smiling when he sees Aaron.
“Hi.”
“Hi, back.” Aaron steps inside, Robert letting the door click shut behind them, and he looks around. “Why is it that they give you a room that’s bigger than mine, and I have to share mine with what feels like half of the population of Manhattan.”
Robert laughs. “What, you don’t like sharing a room with a bunch of dudes?”
“I don’t just share a room. I share a bed, too.”
“Wait. You share a bed?”
Aaron raises a brow. “Yes?”
“With who?”
“I dunno. Sometimes Cam. Sometimes Matt.”
“Why?!”
“Because there are limited beds, can you fucking relax, please? We’re not sucking each other’s dicks.”
Robert blushes. “I didn’t say that…”
“Yeah, but clearly you’re thinking it.”
He takes a step forward and grips Aaron’ hip with his left hand. “No, to be honest I’m not really thinking about that right now.”
Aaron looks up through his lashes. “You wanna tell me what you are thinking about, then?”
“That I think you should wear these glasses more often.”
He reaches up and touches the frames, forgetting he had them on. “Yeah? What else?”
“That you’re gorgeous when you’re dressed up, but somehow, you pull off sweatpants and a t-shirt even better.”
“Christ, what a line.”
“Not a line.” He swallows and steps closer, their toes touching. “‘m thinking that I want to kiss you.”
“Aren’t you always thinking that?” He tries to make it sound like a joke, but it falls flat, and Robert licks his lips.
“Whenever I’m with you, yeah. And usually when I’m not.”
Aaron inhales sharply, reaching out to slide his hands up Robert’s biceps. “Is this the only reason you gave me a rose? To get me here?”
Robert leans forward, both hands grabbing for Aaron’ hips, digging his fingers in. He smirks slightly before breathing out, “If I said yes, would that be okay,” the word just barely ghosting over Aaron’ lips, and Aaron nods, helpless to do anything else, before they connect.
It’s only been a few hours since they’ve last kissed, but it doesn’t matter. Robert kisses Aaron like he’s missed him, like he’s needed him, and Aaron falls into it with wandering hands. He’s already hard from so much buildup and anticipation, and the fact that this isn’t technically allowed is really getting to him. He grinds his hips into Robert’s, unable to stop himself, and Robert’s right there with him.
Robert starts walking them backward toward his bed, lips working mercilessly over Aaron’, only separating when he he falls down onto the mattress, hands gripping uselessly at the duvet.
“Aaron,” he murmurs out. “Is this stupid?”
Aaron sucks in his cheeks, palming at himself when he sees Robert is looking, and the reaction is exactly what he wanted. “Probably. Do you want me to go?”
“If you think I could kick you out right now, you’re out of your fucking mind. Stop touching yourself, I want to.”
He immediately drops his hand. “I thought I said I wanted to get you off, not the other way around.”
“‘m gonna suck you off and you’re gonna have to deal with that.”
He whines, tipping his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Okay, yeah, okay, I can work with that.”
“Come here.”
Aaron pulls his t-shirt over his head before he climbs over Robert, straddling him, and grinds down at the exact time their lips meet. Robert groans into it, hands dragging down Aaron’ back, all the way down to his ass and gripping hard, pushing their hips together.
He can barely stand the fact that Robert is hard beneath him, back arching, eyes unable to stay open for more than a few seconds until they slip shut, mumbling out how good Aaron feels, how hot he is.
Aaron can’t answer, can’t think of anything, really, other than how badly he wants to get Robert off, how badly he wants to get himself off. He’s panting and he knows Robert can probably taste the sweat on him when he leans up to bite at his collarbones. It hurts, it hurts good , and he grinds down particularly hard at the feeling, whimpering.
Robert grips Aaron’ hips at that, stilling his movements. “Aaron, you’re so fucking good at that,” he groans. “You have to stop.”
He tries to move but Robert’s fucking strong. “I don’t see your logic,” he grits out. “If it’s good, why are you making me stop.”
“Because you’re going to make me come in my pants like I’m fucking 15.”
Aaron laughs, only sounding slightly hysterical. “Okay, then let go of me so I can…” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, Robert nearly bucking Aaron off of him, covering him with his own body instead, balancing on his elbows.
He kisses him with way too much tongue to be considering a decent kiss, but Aaron whines into it, grabbing at any inch of skin he can manage to find, pushing Robert’s shirt up to his armpits, bunching at his chest.
“Get it off, off ,” he chants, looking up at Robert.
Robert nods, pulling it off in one, swift motion, before bending down to kiss and lick and bite at Aaron’ torso. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he murmurs against Aaron’ skin. “Taste so good.”
“ Robert ,” he pleads.
“Okay, baby, okay.” He sits up on his knees, sitting astride Aaron’ thighs, and starts to yank at Aaron’ sweatpants. “Want to get my mouth on you.”
Aaron lifts his hips. “Then fucking do it.”
Robert nods, biting at his bottom lip, making room for Aaron to kick off his pants, leaving him in just boxers. He’s tenting obscenely, but can’t be half-assed to care, not when Robert starts palming himself, too worked up just by looking at Aaron.
When he leans down to mouth at Aaron through his boxers, Aaron just about loses it. He’s never been this turned on, never wanted to get off so badly, and they haven’t even gotten started yet. Just the hotness of Robert’s mouth against his cock alone, even with a layer of fabric between them, is enough to make him slap his fists against the mattress, too overwhelmed.
Robert works over Aaron, getting his boxers wet, outline of his cock completely visible, and Aaron doesn’t even know he’s talking when Robert says, “Shh, Aaron, I’ve got you, okay?”
He has to throw his arm over his eyes when Robert yanks his boxers off all the way. “Jesus Christ,” he spits out, hips thrusting up into nothing.
“Fuck, you’re telling me,” Robert murmurs against his bare thigh. “Can’t even stand how gorgeous you are. Seriously. So fucking sexy.” He bends down and sucks at the head, Aaron’ eyes still covered, utterly unprepared for how good it feels.
Robert takes him down further, eventually sliding all the way down, Aaron’ cock hitting the back of his throat, and his eyes go wide at that, abs clenching when he sits up to look, immediately regretting it, the visual too much.
He’s looking up at Aaron, lips and tongue like heaven, drowning him in heat and pressure, and Aaron can’t help it when he bucks his hips up, whining and moaning out words that he’s sure aren’t a part of the English language. All he can do is lie there and take it, gripping at Robert’s curls, letting every wave crash and course through his body, quick and sharp, like electricity.
Robert pulls up, thumbing at the head, and Aaron moans, his eyes squeezing shut, pushing his hips forward.
“You sound so good, Aaron,” Robert mumbles, biting at his thigh. “Bet you sound even better when you come. You gonna let me hear that?”
“Yes, Robert, ‘m gonna,” he spits out, chest heaving.
Robert squeezes Aaron’ cock in his palm before taking him down again, working over him more fervently, tongue relentless, and it starts to happen all at once, not gradually like when he gets himself off. His legs start twitching, his stomach clenching, his breathing is out of control, entire body tensing and clenching, and he can barely get a warning out before he starts coming deep in Robert’s throat, overworked and overheated, voice high pitched and too breathy but he can’t find it in him to care.
He lays there, panting, as Robert pulls off, kissing his way up his stomach, his chest, his neck. “This was a terrible idea.”
Aaron can’t muster up the energy to open his eyes. Not yet. “Why,” he breathes out.
“Because there’s no way I’m going to be able to get the way you sound and feel out of my mind for a long fucking time.”
“Needed to,” he says. “It’s all I could think about for weeks.”
“Yeah?” Robert kisses his jaw, hands curling into his hair, and Aaron can feel his cock hard against his thigh.
“Yeah.”
“Me, too.”
Aaron wraps his arms around Robert’s neck and nuzzles his face in, mouthing at his shoulder. “Get your dick out.”
Robert snorts. “Charming,” but he’s already taking sitting up to pull his sweatpants down, cock fully hard and bobbing up against his stomach. He drops back down to the mattress, pushing his hips forward into Aaron’ thigh, gaze glued to Aaron’ face.
Aaron doesn’t look down as he reaches down to take Robert in his fist, squeezing him the way he likes it, firm and slow. Based on the way Robert’s jaw goes slack and his hand tightens its grip on Aaron’ ass, it seems like he prefers it that way, too.
He works over him slowly, kissing his neck and jaw every so often, never picking up the speed, just keeping his movements steady and solid. Robert rocks his hips into it, groaning every so often, and Aaron uses the precome to help with the glide, Robert jerking forward even more.
He only jerks him faster once Robert’s breathing starts to pick up, hot against Aaron’ face. “Baby. I’m.”
Aaron nods. “Come on, Robert.”
He goes completely silent, shoving his hips forward into Aaron’ fist and his face into Aaron’ shoulder, and comes, body tensing up before he goes slack completely, dropping flat on his back onto the mattress.
Aaron sidles up next to him after he’s given him a moment, and Robert noses up Aaron’ jaw. “What are you thinking?” he whispers against his skin, goosebumps raising.
He’s thinking a lot of things, honestly, but none of them he’s ready to say just yet. He settles on something safe. “That I’m starving.”
He laughs, still breathless. “Okay, then. I’ll feed you.”
They eat horrible pepperoni pizza courtesy of room service at 5:30 in the morning, and just as the sun is rising, Robert says, “You know what my favorite thing about you is?”
“Do you want me to actually guess, because it might take a while.”
He smirks. “No, I’ll tell you.” He takes a sip of his water. “That you’re exactly the same on camera as you are off of it. I’ve already noticed some of the guys have multiple personalities. And that’s not necessarily something they’re aware of. Sometimes the camera makes you do weird things. It’s just nice that I don’t have to worry about that with you.”
“So, what you’re saying is that my personality both on and off camera is dazzling and intoxicating?”
Robert smiles before leaning over to kiss him softly on his lips, fleeting and gentle. “Yes, that is actually exactly what I’m saying.” He stares at Aaron intently, frowning. “You know this ,” he says, gesturing around, “isn’t the only reason I gave you a rose, right?”
Aaron snorts. “Yes, Sugden, I know.”
He kisses him again. “Thank God.”
Aaron slides into his bed just before everyone else starts getting out of theirs, and he’s bone tired, but the cheesy smile plastered to his face says otherwise.
Over the next few weeks, the group moves across the country, stopping in Bar Harbor, Maine, before they head to Iceland, and though Aaron doesn’t get another date during that timespan, he’s okay with it. Robert will often leave notes for Aaron - stupid, silly things, like what he had for breakfast, or the song that’s stuck in his head, or that he had a strange dream the night before that he worked on a blueberry farm and Aaron was the Amish boy down the dirt road, selling cheese - and he keeps them in his wallet for when he’s all up in his own head and can’t stop missing Robert.
And then there’s the first rose ceremony after the hotel rendezvous. Robert pulls Aaron aside and kisses him, sweetly and slowly, a nice contrast to the last several times they’d been left alone together, and murmurs against his lips, “Missed your mouth so much.”
Aaron squirms. “You are a dentist, after all.”
He smiles. “Missed your mind.”
“It is a good one.”
Robert nods. “Missed you .”
He has trouble swallowing under Robert’s stare. “Fuck, I missed you, too.”
And Aaron understands that he can’t expect Robert to drop everything and everyone for him; that’s not the point of the show, or the process.
Doesn’t mean he can’t pout about it, though.
The number of men is dwindling, but Aaron is still here, safe week after week, and the pang in his chest subsides every time Robert calls his name to accept a rose. It’s okay for now. It’s all okay.
As they pack up to leave Iceland, Aaron overhears Casey talking to Chris from the room over, discussing the weather in London for when they touch down, and he just about has a heart attack in the hotel. He hasn’t had a date in two weeks, he hasn’t even seen Robert in three days, but he’s going home and he can’t stop smiling.
He’s downright giddy when they land at Heathrow, so much that Jonathan jokingly smothers him with a pillow to get him to shut up just before they hit the pavement, although based on the force behind it, Aaron isn’t sure if he was actually just playing around.
Christ, it’s been over a year since he’s been back in London, and he’s so beyond happy to be home, he has to actively force himself not to bend down and kiss the tarmac. The beautiful, disgusting tarmac.
It’s cool, about 54 degrees, and rainy, as usual. There’s a fog that makes it impossible to see just about anything, including oncoming traffic, and the amount of times their driver curses is comical.
Ah, London. Perfect, gorgeous London.
Once they’re all settled in the hotel, Aaron takes a seat next to Cam on the couch in the common area, squishing into the pillows, warming his hands with a cup of tea.
“So, Cameron. Welcome to me country.”
Cam laughs. “Do you think you’re gonna be able to see your family at all?”
“I don’t know. Obviously, I would love to. But we’re only going to be in London for about 48 hours before we move onto somewhere new, apparently, and I’m not sure I’ll have time to squeeze them in. Especially if I’m the one who gets the one-on-one date today.”
“It’s a pretty good chance you will. You haven’t had a one-on-one since the first week, and of course he’d want to give it to you in the place you grew up.”
“Yeah.” Aaron scratches at the fabric on the pillow next to him. “Maybe.”
Maybe turns into definitely when Jonathan walks in with the date card an hour later.
“Aaron,” he reads, “let’s explore. Love, R.”
Aaron snorts. “Wow, what a specific card.” He turns to Lydia. “Were those words your brilliant idea? Because if so, bravo, well done.”
“Seriously, Aaron, we’ve talked about this,” she scolds. “Now we have to retake that, unless you want to come off looking like a miserable son of bitch any time the camera is on you. Try to be excited and not a sarcastic brat for once.”
“It’s my natural, radiant personality, what can I say.”
“Ugh.” She rolls her eyes and turns to Jonathan. “Will you read the card again?”
“Aaron, you make everything impossible,” Jonathan says, flipping him off. He reads the card one more time, his voice much less enthusiastic than before, and makes a face that says, If you make me do this again, I’ll light you on fire.
Aaron doesn’t give it more than two seconds of thought before he jumps to his feet and claps, screaming, “Oh, good golly, a date for me! I’m the chosen one! This moment is epic! Live, laugh, love, everyone!”
Cam snorts so hard, tea comes out of his nose and Jonathan throws the envelope at him, as if it would cause any actual damage.
Lydia throws her hands in the air. “I give up. You’re a lunatic, and I don’t care how you look on national television anymore.”
He blows her a kiss. “See you on my date tomorrow.”
Aaron’ instructed to wear comfortable clothing, including shoes that won’t give him blisters, and he pouts.
“Am I gonna be doing excessive walking? Do I really have to be a tourist in my own city?”
“Are you ever grateful for anything, ever?” Lydia asks, exasperated.
“Yes, I’m grateful when I’m in bed, asleep.” He pauses. “And also, when I’m with Robert, if we’re being honest. Where is that boy of mine, anyway? Isn’t it almost time for us to get going?”
“Jesus Christ, the one time you’re sweet and the cameras aren’t rolling! What are the chances I can get you to say that again?”
He pretends to think about it. “Hmm, it would probably have to be a life or death situation, I’m thinking.” He leans forward and kisses her on the cheek. “Love you.”
“You suck. But also, you look lovely. Your hair is nice like that.”
He touches his quiff. “Aw, this ol’ thing? Thanks, love.”
“And to answer your question, Robert should be here in about ten.”
“Okay, good, so I have time to ring me mum before I have to go.”
“Yup, if you make it quick.”
“Sure, tell her that.”
He makes his way over to the hotel’s phone and dials the first number he ever had memorized. It picks up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
His throat constricts, just a little bit. “Hi, Liv.”
“Aaron?!”
“How are you?”
“I’m good! Where are you now?!”
He purses his lips together. He does not want to tell her he’s about two hours from their house, and most likely won’t be able to make it there. He’ll cry if he has to say that out loud, especially to his 16 year old sister. “Let me talk to mum. I only have a few minutes.”
“Hold on.”
He listens as Liv screams for Chas, followed by a bunch of rustling over the phone. Then: “Hi, baby.”
Jesus, her voice is so comforting, and it’s only been about two months since the last time he’s talked to her but it still feels like a punch to the stomach. “Hi, Mum.”
“Where are you calling me from?”
He wraps the phone’s cord around his left pointer finger and takes a deep breath. “I’m in London.”
“Is this you calling to tell me you don’t have time for a visit?”
He whines. “I wish I wasn’t making this call.”
“It’s okay, baby. The girls don’t know yet, so no major letdown for them.”
“What about for me?! I miss everyone so much.”
“Would it help if I said I’d been sorting out a trip to visit you in Chicago for when you get back home? Me, Liv, Fizzy, Liv, and Liv?”
He holds the phone closer to his ear. “Are you serious? You’ve never visited me there before.”
“Flights aren’t too expensive now and the girls will be on break. I want to see where my biggest baby lives.”
“Jesus.” He rubs his hand across his face. “That makes me feel a little better, yeah.”
“I’m glad. Just happy to know you’re on the same continent as me right now.”
“So close, yet so far away.”
“Oh, none of that. You’re doing something amazing right now. Exciting, isn’t it?”
He smiles. “It is. I have a date with Robert today. I dunno where we’re going but. Yeah. I don’t really care as long as I get to hog him to meself for a bit.”
“Aw, love, do you actually really like him?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
She laughs and it makes him smile again. “I’m sure it’s mutual, if he’s not totally dense.”
“I think it might be. Mutual, that is.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
They talk for another minute or two, Chas chatting easily about his siblings and Aaron happy to listen, when Bryce pokes his head in from around the corner.
“Aaron, Robert’s here. Want me to tell him to wait a minute?”
Something has to be wrong with his tear ducts, because his eyes start to fill up and spill over again. “Yes, please,” he mouths.
Bryce nods and steps back out, giving Aaron privacy to finish his conversation alone.
His head is in his hands, eyes closed, still listening to his mum talk through the phone, when he feels gentle, familiar hands on his back. He looks up.
“Hi, sorry, my mum…” He whispers, trailing off. “Just wanted to tell her I was here, but can’t see her.”
Robert nods and digs his thumb precisely into the knot in Aaron’ back. He immediately lets his head drop to his chest, muscles going slack. That knot has been driving him crazy for days.
Chas talks for a little while longer, Aaron content to just listen and let Robert rub his back. He mhm ’s and uh-huh ’s every once in a while to show he’s listening, but he really can’t concentrate much, the feeling of homesickness suddenly so overpowering. He just wants to crawl through the phone, sleep in his tiny twin sized bed in his childhood bedroom. He curls into Robert a bit closer; he’s the next best thing to home, which is miraculous, seeing as they’ve only known each other for nine weeks. Robert’s hands grow more insistent and Aaron nearly turns to putty.
“Baby, is Robert there yet?”
He clears his throat. “Uh, yeah, he’s been here. Just wanted to talk to you for a little bit before we headed out.”
“Aw, honey, don’t let me keep you. You two go out and have a good time.”
“Okay. I’ll try to call you again tomorrow before we head out.”
“I’m looking forward to it. Oh, wait, Aaron?”
“Mum.”
“Can I talk to Robert?”
He doesn’t argue or ask why. He just hands the phone over to Robert. “She wants to talk to you.”
Robert grabs it without hesitation. “Hello, Mrs. Deakin.” Aaron strains to hear her through the receiver, but Robert pushes his face out of the way. “Yes, we have a busy day plSarahd. I promise, I’ll take care of him.” He pauses, and Aaron nudges in closer, his head basically stuck under Robert’s armpit. Robert leaves him there.
They continue to chat, Robert laughing every so often, answering what seems like some fairly basic and simple questions, and then: “Yeah, I’m crazy about him,” he says, answering a question that Aaron didn’t hear. The honesty in Robert’s voice makes Aaron tear up. Again. He wipes at his eyes, pissed that he’s been crying for the better part of the last 15 minutes.
He tunes out, letting Robert and his mum wrap up their conversation, and eventually, Robert hands the phone back to Aaron.
“Mum?”
“He’s as lovely as ever. Go enjoy your date. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay.” He slides down on the couch and puts his head on Robert’s lap. Robert cards his fingers through his hair on instinct. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Call me whenever you can.”
“I will.”
“I love you.”
“Love you back.” He hangs up, feeling a bit lighter, a bit happier, a bit relieved. He twists his body and looks up at Robert. “She wasn’t mad that I can’t see them.”
“Did you really expect her to be?”
“No. I dunno. Mad probably isn’t the right word. More like disappointed. It’s been over a year, R.”
“I know. I can’t even imagine.” He rubs his hand up and down Aaron’ thigh. “I feel bad that we have a date. I should have picked someone else so you could go see them.”
Aaron makes a face and pinches Robert’s stomach. “I would have murdered you in your sleep. This is my town. I dare you to keep me out of it.”
Robert laughs. “Okay, good. Let’s go see it, then.”
“Yes. Let’s.”
They walk hand-in-hand down the wet streets of London, Robert excited to experience London for the first time, Aaron excited to watch him. He keeps pointing out things Aaron has seen hundreds of times, but it’s fun to see something through someone else’s eyes for the first time all over again, so he indulges in Robert’s behavior and lets him go nuts over every single building and double decker bus.
By late afternoon, Aaron assumes that sightseeing is their entire date, and honestly, he isn’t too let down about it. It feels good to be back in his comfort zone, and he likes being able to lead for once. Usually, it’s Robert who directs him, pushes him in the right direction. This time, he’s in charge.
Just the way he likes it.
The sun is setting when Robert leads them down to the entrance of the London aquarium. He smiles and says, “Okay, here’s our last stop in touristville.”
“The aquarium?”
“Yes. Have you been here before?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Not since a field trip when I was, like, eight, probably.”
“Okay, good. Well. I can guarantee you that you haven’t seen it like this before.”
“And how do you reckon that one?”
“You’ll see.”
They go through the aquarium’s main entrance together, camera crew walking backward in front of them, filming their reactions, and once they’re past the main lobby, Aaron doesn’t have words to describe what he’s looking at.
The entire building is empty.
There are fish, yes, as well as sharks and otters and even a small penguin exhibit. But there aren’t any people . Never in Aaron’ wildest dreams did he ever imagine he could enter one of the area’s biggest tourist attractions and have it all to himself. It’s overwhelming, honestly, to look around without interruption, no distractions, just him and Robert, hands linked together, just them.
He turns to Robert. “Is this gonna be a thing? Dates that don’t involve other people?”
Robert laughs. “You don’t like even like other people, for the most part.”
“No, I don’t. I’m not complaining, I’m just clarifying.” He squeezes Robert’s hand. “I like you, though.”
“Thank God.” He drags Aaron’ hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “You ready?”
“Yeah. I wanna see the turtles.”
“Awesome, let’s find you some turtles.”
This trip to the aquarium is abundantly better than Aaron’ last trip. There aren’t any crowds of children screaming to touch the starfish in the touch pool, no one is crowding up against the glass to get a picture of the school of clownfish swimming by, and there isn’t a single American jackass, asking why the fish aren’t swimming on the other side of the tank, seeing as they’re in Europe, and all.
Well. There’s one American jackass asking, but Aaron has learned to tune him out.
He stops in front of the tank of jellyfish, mesmerized by their movements. They’re all so steady and graceful; they almost don’t seem real. He gently traces his finger along the glass.
“Robert, look at them.”
“I am. I know.”
“Do you, though? They’re unbelievable.”
“Incredible to imagine something so small and gorgeous has that much sting in it.” He smirks. “Kinda like you.”
“Okay, unnecessary.”
They keep moving down the wall, stopping at the tank of poisonous tree frogs, visiting the sea urchins next, and saying hello to the seahorses after that. Aaron is fixated on the way they’re swimming back and forth when Robert taps him on the hip.
“I have a surprise. Come with me.”
“A surprise party? For me?”
He smiles. “Not quite.”
Aaron follows him down the steps, down a corridor, down another corridor, and Robert stops before a set of double doors.
“And behind door number two…”
Robert rolls his eyes. “Okay, if you’ll be quiet for the next 20 seconds, I’ll tell you what’s behind me.”
“Counting and being quiet. Things I excel at.”
He ignores his sarcasm. “The aquarium has been building this exhibit for the past three years. It isn’t open to the public yet, but today, they’re opening it for us.”
Aaron whistles. “What kind of strings did you have to pull to get us in here, Sugden?”
“You have no idea.” He pushes open the doors and stands to the side, letting Aaron enter first.
“Robert. What the fuck.”
He’s seen things like this online before, in magazines, in movies. Never in real life, though, and for the second time since he stepped foot in the Sea Life London Aquarium, he’s speechless.
It’s a tunnel made entirely of glass, shaped like a dome at the ceiling, glass wrapping around the entire room, essentially placing them inside of a lifesize bubble. It’s like they’re standing inside an actual ocean, nothing to cloud or obstruct their view. To their right, a school of mandarinfish swim in circles, their colors beaming and glowing. To their right, a squid - a fucking squid - scoots by. And above their heads, Aaron stares as a hammerhead shark sways back and forth, fish frantically trying to avoid him at all costs.
“We’re. We’re, like, in the exhibit.”
“Cool, right?”
“No. ‘Cool’ is not the right word for this. This is… Robert. We are literally surrounded by an ocean.”
“Which ocean?”
“I don’t know. The best one.”
Robert laughs. “I’ll leave your review with the guys at the front desk.”
“How much water is in this tank?” He stares up at the ceiling again, trying to determine how far up it goes. “Oh my God, what if the glass breaks. We’re dead.”
“The glass won’t break, you lunatic. It’s, like, two feet thick. Like your skull, apparently.”
He ignores him. “Robert, there’s probably 100 billion gallons of water in there.”
“Is that an estimate or an approximation?”
He continues to ignore him. “I can’t believe how unreal this is. Honestly. It’s like a dream or something.” He looks down for the first time since entering, and then something catches his eye. “Wait, what’s that? On the ground?”
“Oh.” Robert walks over to the item on the ground. “Bean bag chairs.”
“Bean bag chairs.”
“Yeah, I figured it would be nice if we could sit down on the ground and look up, but a blanket and pillow seem too porn-ish.”
Aaron turns around and stares at the camera crew. “I can’t be sarcastic but Robert can talk about porn?”
Lydia makes a face. “We won’t be keeping that.”
“Oh, I liked it,” Aaron says. “He’s funny sometimes.”
“Aw, thanks, baby.” He sits down on one of the bean bags and pats the one next to him. “Come here.”
Aaron smirks and joins Robert on the floor, squishing himself into the chair, letting it mold against his body. It only takes a minute or two before he decides that position won’t do, and he places his head on Robert’s chest. Robert twists Aaron’ hair around his fingers, scratching at his scalp, and he thinks he could fall asleep right here, laying at the bottom of the ocean, listening to the even tick of Robert’s heartbeat.
He actually does start to doze off; the room is nearly glowing, illuminated by neon blue lights, shining, almost like a black light, and it’s so soothing, he can’t help it. Combine that with the warmth of Robert’s arms around him and the water lapping at the glass over and over and over…
“Don’t fall asleep,” Robert whispers into his ear.
“Not gonna,” he mumbles back.
“You’re basically already comatose.”
“Can’t help it.”
“I have one more thing to show you. You have to be awake for it.”
“I now have very high expectations for our next date, so you know. This is so outrageously good that it’s actually bordering on too much.”
“Hasn’t crossed that line yet, though, right?”
“Not yet.”
“Perfect.”
Aaron forces his eyes open and stares at the fish swimming overhead. “I have a question.”
“I might have an answer.”
“How much say do you have in these dates?”
“Some of them are plSarahd out from start to finish without any input from me at all. Some I tweak a bit. Only a couple I’ve created entirely on my own.”
“Such as…”
“This one.”
Aaron smiles into Robert’s chest. “Thanks for a fun date, love.”
Robert kisses the top of his head. “Of course. But. I told you. We’re not done. You ready to get up?”
“Can’t believe this was just a pit stop…”
“You’re gonna love what’s next. I promise.”
“Okay. Wow me.”
Robert stands up and grabs Aaron’ hands, pulling him up to his feet. “That’s my goal.”
They walk side by side down a hallway together, weaving in and out of aisles of fish and informational posters, Robert halting to a stop just before they turn the corner.
“What’s the hold up, Sugden?”
“I have to cover your eyes with my hands.”
“Is that really necessary.”
“No, but I want to.”
Aaron sighs. “If you must.”
“I must.” He stands behind Aaron and wraps his arms around him, hands shielding his eyes, and everything goes dark. “Can you see?”
“No, my x-ray vision must be on the fritz today, damnit.”
“I hate you. Now walk.”
Aaron obeys, walking forward slowly, letting Robert maneuver him. “Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“How about now?”
“Aaron.”
“Now?”
Robert huffs out a laugh. “You’re so much work. Okay.” He drops his hands. “Open.”
Aaron blinks, forcing his eyes to readjust in the dim lighting from the fish tanks, and before him is a long table, filled with food and drinks and flowers alike.
But that isn’t what he’s staring at.
He just. Immediately starts crying, can’t even control it. He grips Robert’s hands, steadying himself, and chokes out, “What are you doing here?!”
His mum and oldest sisters are all sitting behind the table, tears in their own eyes, and it’s Chas who gets up first. He nearly runs to her, practically knocking her over once he’s in her arms, and she holds onto him, petting his back.
“Are you happy we’re here?” she asks.
He nods, unable to say anything else, and hugs her tighter. He feels Liv and Fizzy’s arms wrap around him, too, and it makes him tear up all over again.
He eventually forces himself to step back and pull himself together, wiping at his eyes and sniffling. “Jesus, I’m embarrassed,” he murmurs, making his mum and sisters laugh. “Thanks for making me feel like total shit on the phone this morning, by the way.”
Chas scoffs. “Well, what was I supposed to do? Ruin the entire surprise?”
“Was it your idea?”
She shakes her head and points to Robert over his shoulder. “I got a call from that guy about two months ago.”
Aaron swallows and turns, facing Robert. “You?”
Robert smiles. “Me.”
He looks down at his feet and then back up again, collecting his thoughts. “Explain, please.”
“Remember during our first date when I said I wanted to call your mom?”
“Yes.”
“And then we didn’t call her.”
“Right.”
“Well. I called her without you.”
“Okay…”
“About a week after our date, I called her up, yeah.”
“But why?”
“I knew we would be making a stop in London and knew the schedule would be tight and I wanted to give you the opportunity to see her. I could tell how much you missed her, even then. So, I had to make sure she didn’t have any plans for this weekend, and told her to make the trip. I extended the invitation to the rest of the family, as well, obviously. Looks like these two were the only ones brave enough to show up.”
Liv and Fizzy smirk and Aaron can’t believe they’re standing in front of him right now, after almost 15 months since the last time he saw them in person. It’s been so long. “How’d you know I’d even still be here now? That you wouldn’t have sent me home? Or that I wouldn’t have asked to leave?”
“Ah, I knew you weren’t going anywhere.”
“You were that sure I was a sure thing?”
“Yes.” He doesn’t even hesitate when he replies, just stares at Aaron intently, his green eyes nearly burning.
There aren’t any words that Aaron can come up with that won’t lessen what he’s thinking right now, so instead of attempting it, he just kisses him. It’s way too intimate considering his mum and sisters are watching, but he doesn’t care. He gives it everything he has, slipping his tongue into Robert’s mouth, gripping his waist like a lifeline, pressing the entire length of his body up against Robert’s. He can’t get his thoughts about, but thishe can do.
Robert kisses back just as fervently, every swipe of his tongue determined, his hands moving across Aaron’ back and clutching his elbows, tiny whines escaping whenever Aaron nips at his bottom lip. He’s the first one to pull back, breathless, and he rests his forehead against Aaron’, slightly panting against his face.
“Little too much for your poor mom to have to watch,” he murmurs.
“I don’t care.”
“Yeah, well, I do. Good first impressions, and all that.”
“And all that,” he agrees. He kisses Robert again, softly, lips barely meeting. When he leans back, he whispers, “Thank you.”
Robert smiles. “You’re welcome.”
He takes a deep breath. “Alright, well, it’s time for you to proper meet my family, yeah?”
He nods. “Yes. Let’s do it.”
Over the next two hours, Aaron, Robert, Chas, Liv, and Fizzy enjoy a delicious meal - one they’re actually allowed to eat - amongst the sea creatures. Robert asks all the right questions, charming his sisters, making his mum fall in love, and Aaron can’t help but put his hand on Robert’s thigh, squeezing, grateful for something he’s not even sure if he has yet.
He doesn’t let himself think about that, though, doesn’t let him think that Robert isn’t actually his boyfriend and instead, he enjoys this moment, content to pretend that this is his new boyfriend meeting his family for the first time and Jesus, it’s so easy to pretend, so easy to fall for it.
As dessert is being served, Robert leans across the table and picks up the single red rose resting on its silvery tray, which Aaron hadn’t even noticed until right now. He hands it to Aaron.
“I’m not even gonna ask if you’ll accept this rose,” he says. “Just. Take it. Please.”
Aaron laughs. “Romantic. Yes, I’ll take it.” He twists the stem around between his thumb and pointer finger, avoiding the thorns, and settles back in his chair to listen as Robert tells his mum and sisters about the look on Aaron’ face when they reached the top of the bridge in Leeds. Normally, he would slap him on the chest or bite his arm or do something Aaron like for bringing up his least favorite moment in 28 years of living. Tonight, though, he moves his chair closer to Robert’s and tangles their hands together in his lap, tired, full, and happy.
Before they leave the aquarium, Aaron wraps his mum up in an embrace, smelling her familiar perfume, not wanting to let go. He suddenly feels 18 again, getting dropped off at the airport to move across the world for college. If anything, it’s harder to let go now.
Chas kisses him on the cheek. “I’m so glad I got to spend some time with you, love.”
He nods. “Me, too.”
“And I’m thrilled we got to meet Robert.”
“Yeah, he’s a good lad.”
“He’s lovely, Aaron. Very genuine. I like that.”
“I agree.”
“He seems to be very taken with you.”
Aaron sucks in his cheeks. “You’re biased. You’re my mum.”
“ No, I’m being honest. Aaron, he plSarahd this entire thing on his own. The producers didn’t even know until earlier this week.”
He swallows. “Really?”
She nods. “Yes. Really.”
Well. That’s something. He looks over at Robert, who’s laughing easily with his sisters. “Jesus, I like him.”
“Does he know that?”
“I think so. I’ve told him as much.”
“Good. Don’t screw it up.”
He laughs. “Gee, thanks. Much faith.”
“Just want you to stay this happy. It’s.” She pauses. “It makes me happy, to see this.”
He doesn’t really have a follow up, so he pulls her in for another hug, instead, staring at Robert over her shoulder. When they make eye contact, Robert winks, and Aaron has to turn away so he doesn’t combust on the spot.
And when he thinks back to this moment later that night, later that week, and later that month after his head is a little less cloudy, he knows this is the exact moment he fell in love with Robert Sugden, blaringly obvious, radiating from every inch of him.
“I’ll see you in Chicago, love,” Chas murmurs.
He nods, forcing himself to stop looking at Robert from across the room. “Yeah, Mum, I’ll see you there.”
They pull him into the interview room after his date. His shirt smells like a mixture of both Robert and his mum and he can’t stop smelling it.
He shifts around on the chair, looking over the camera’s lens like he’s been instructed to. “Today was… Exceptional.” He looks down at his hands, his face breaking out into a smile. “I can’t believe I got to see my family. I already miss them. And Robert…” He knows his face is giving him away completely. “He’s, just, something else entirely, yeah? Christ. The aquarium is brilliant, honestly. Full of life and beauty and I can’t believe I get to know it.” He flicks his hair out of his eyes. “I’m crazy about the aquarium. In fact, I think I might be in love with it.”
Chapter 3: The Journey Part II
Chapter Text
Jonathan gets sent home at the end of their mini Europe excursion, and the hotel room is eerily empty with just the four of them left. Now that it’s just Aaron, Casey, Cam, and Bryce, it hits Aaron how real this entire this is becoming, and that Robert could possibly have connections with these other men. And how could he not? They’ve spent the past two and a half months together, nonstop. Forming bonds in inevitable.
Thinking about that makes Aaron have to put his head between his legs.
Oh, God, the nausea.
They pack up to leave Europe, heading back to the States, and this time, they’re all flying separately. It’s hometown date time; everyone is going home to see their families, and Robert will spend a day with each of them. The logistics of it are ridiculous, Aaron thinks. Robert will have to fly to Chicago to see him, then to Seattle for Casey, Austin for Bryce, and Hartford for Cameron. All within the span of five days. Who the hell plSarahd that thinking it would be a good idea?
The flight from Heathrow to Midway goes by quicker than Aaron had anticipated, considering he’s nearly bouncing out of his seat, excited to get into his apartment and be amongst his things, his TV, his bed, his cat, who is hopefully still alive, courtesy of Uncle Adam.
The Chicago air smells incredible - something he’s never noticed before, and potentially just made up in his own head right now because of how much he’s missed it - and the four flights up to his apartment doesn’t suck as much as it usually does, even with his ridiculously heavy luggage trailing behind him.
He kicks open his door and drops his bags immediately, Finn already at his feet, meowing and rubbing up against his legs. Aaron squats, scratching behind his ears before lifting him off the ground.
“Hi, baby,” he croons into his fur. “Missed you.”
Finn meows again, purring deeply, lifting his head up for Aaron to scratch under his chin.
Aaron heads into his bedroom, placing Finn down on the edge of bed, and sighs with how good it feels to be home. Traveling and experiencing the world and being with Robert over the past few months has been unbelievably rewarding, and the idea of being able to share his own corner of the world with that boy tomorrow is enough to get his heart racing. But right now, in this moment, all he can think about is showering in his own bathroom for the first time in months, sliding underneath his familiar blankets, and sleeping until he can’t anymore.
And that’s exactly what he does.
Aaron is sitting unbelievably impatiently on a bench at the Chicago Riverwalk the next morning, tapping his feet on the ground, arms crossed. Robert should be here any minute, and he can’t wait to show off Chicago, can’t wait to show off Robert.
As touristy as it is, this is one of Aaron’ favorite spots in the city, and he wants to share it with Robert, wants to share it with everyone, really. There are always people down here, locals and out-of-towners alike, and it’s not hard to understand why. The river, which flows into Lake Michigan if you walk far enough down it, is slow moving and peaceful with the occasional kayaker or boat, and the juxtaposition of the river being framed by Chicago’s skyscrapers is never lost on Aaron. He has a million and one pictures of this very view on his phone already, but that doesn’t stop him from taking another one now.
Eventually, he sees Robert out of the corner of his eye heading down the cement stairs, taking two at a time, and Aaron jumps to his feet, shielding his eyes from the bright May sunshine.
“Hey, stranger!” he calls out.
Robert grins when he hears Aaron’ voice, breaking into a jog. “Hey, you!”
Aaron’ fingers are itching to touch him, and it’s only been about 48 hours since they parted ways in Europe, but God, he missed him.
He all but jumps into Robert’s arms, letting Robert hold him way too tightly, and he pulls back slightly, not hesitating before connecting their mouths. He threads his fingers into Robert’s hair, getting caught in some of the tighter curls, and Robert bends down to get better access.
They both have to stop because they’re smiling too hard, and Robert drags his thumb across Aaron’ bottom lip. “I’m so happy.”
Aaron nods, his chest tightening at that. “Jesus, you’re here. In my city. Just us.” He glances to his right. “And the camera crew, but it’s all good. Hi guys,” he says, waving obnoxiously in front of the camera’s lens.
Lydia pretends to hit him with her clipboard. “Yeah, hello to you, too.”
Robert smiles and squeezes Aaron’ biceps. “I’m so excited. What’re we doing today?”
“Love that you’re asking me instead of vise versa for once.”
Robert laughs. “I know, huh? You’re not usually one who prefers to be in charge…”
“Oh, ha ha.” He rubs his hands together. “Plan to make a proper tourist out of you. It’s going to be absolutely wicked.”
“And what does that entail?”
“To start, we’re going to take an architectural tour along the Chicago River.” He gestures toward the water. “You sit for an hour and a half and stare at buildings and learn about their history. Nice, innit?”
Robert cocks his brow. “Didn’t think that’s something that would be up your alley.”
“They serve free booze.”
“Ah. Got it. Okedoke, let’s go.” Robert grabs his hand and links their fingers together. “I’m, like, stupidly excited to be here, Aaron.”
Aaron squeezes Robert’s fingers. “I think you already mentioned that.”
“I may have.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
They walk down alongside the river, Robert staring up at the buildings as they go, eagerly pointing out the infamous Trump Tower in the distance, nearly skipping along the sidewalk. Aaron can’t stop smiling; he unlaces his fingers from Robert’s and instead, grabs Robert’s arm and drapes it over his shoulder. Robert pulls him in close, dragging his fingers up and down Aaron’ bare arm.
They purchase tickets and climb aboard the boat, tour guide greeting them on the open deck. “You gentlemen ready for 90 educational and exciting minutes?”
Robert puts his hand over Aaron’ mouth, stopping him from saying the words he somehow knew were threatening to fall out. “Yes, we’re ready.”
Aaron bites his palm and Robert pinches his nipple.
“ Lydia, ” he whines, “Robert hurt me.”
“Did you just… Tell on me?”
She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Match made in heaven.”
Robert pinches him again. “You’re telling me.”
They take a seat in the front row, Robert resting his head against Aaron’ shoulder, even though he has to slouch down, and it’s probably hell on his neck, but he leaves it there, anyway, content.
A few more groups board, and once the deck is mostly filled, they head out onto the river, boat moving slowly, slight breeze cool and welcomed. Robert puts his hand on Aaron’ knee and sits up, looking over the edge of the boat. “The water is incredible.”
“Super blue, yeah?”
“Gorgeous.” He looks at Aaron. “Just like your eyes.”
Aaron laughs. “Mate, the water is toxic.”
“What?”
“It’s so highly polluted, it’s considered toxic water. That’s why it’s so blue. It’s the chemicals in it. You’re not even allowed to touch it.”
Robert blushes, embarrassed. “Okay, whatever. It’s still pretty and so are you.”
Aaron laughs again. “Thanks, babe.”
“Shut up.”
He bats his eyes exaggeratedly. “You like these contaminated blue eyes, love?”
“I said, shut up.” He looks down at his hands. “But yes, I do.”
“You’re such an idiot.”
Robert smiles. “And you’re stuck with me.”
“Hopefully.”
It’s just one word, barely anything, but it’s the first time he’s voiced that he’s nervous that he and Robert won’t end up together, and that he wants to be with him. Robert clearly catches on, because he frowns, digging his fingers into Aaron’ knee.
“Hey. Aaron.”
“No, let’s just. Not. Later. We’ll talk about it later.”
He clears his throat. “Okay.”
Aaron looks around, purposely not staring at Robert. “That building is big. Let’s talk about that instead.”
Robert nods, slight smile on his face. “Definitely big. Lots of windows.”
“So many.” He slides over on his seat, draping his leg across Robert’s lap. Robert’s hands wrap around his shin on instinct.
“Comfortable?”
“Yeah, not planning on moving this spot.”
“Good.” He presses a quick kiss to Aaron’ temple, reassuring. “We could hang out here on this boat all day, though, and I’d be happy.”
He believes him. “That would get boring, probably. And expensive. Very expensive.”
“Guess we’ll have to do something else, then. Like I said, you’re the boss today.”
“Damn right.” They both stop talking to listen to the tour guide talk about the black matte building to their right. When she pauses, Aaron says, “I actually have a lot of stuff plSarahd for us today.”
“Gimme a hint?”
He shakes his head. “And where would the fun in that be?”
“I guess there wouldn’t be any.”
“Exactly, now shh , the nice lady is telling us about The Great Chicago Fire.”
“Sorry.”
They’re quiet for the rest of the tour, both listening as their tour guide talks about old and new construction, the sound of the waves gently lapping at the side of their boat. Robert’s gaze never wavers from the buildings, listening intently, and Aaron’ gaze never wavers from Robert.
At the end of the river, Robert’s telling the tour guide a story about something that happened to him in dental school, because honestly, why wouldn’the be befriending their tour guide, when suddenly, he stops and sniffs the air.
“Wait, what am I smelling?”
Aaron raises his eyebrows and frowns, playing dumb. “I don’t smell anything?”
“No, really, what is that?” He sniffs again. “Am I smelling chocolate?”
“Are you also tasting pennies?”
“Stop, don’t freak me out.” He pauses. “Wait, oh my God, do you really think I’m having a stroke?!”
Aaron laughs and punches Robert on the leg. “It’s the chocolate factory.”
“Wait, where?”
“A few blocks over. There’s always a breeze because of the river and the way the buildings are positioned.” Robert’s face is still frozen and Aaron laughs again. “You can relax, you’re not have a stroke. We can stop at the chocolate factory later, if you want to.”
“No, you’re a jerk.” He keeps sniffing the air. “Does smell amazing, though.”
Aaron smirks. “We’ll stop.”
“Good.”
The rest of the day goes by seamlessly. They make a quick stop at the chocolate factory, where Aaron asks Robert about 20 or 30 times if he can smell chocolate, and after, he takes him to Grant Park, dragging him past art museums and history museums, Robert whining to stop the whole time.
“What’s going on here?” he asks.
Aaron puts his hands on his hips. “Well, this weekend is a big weekend for Grant Park.”
“And why is that?”
“Because they’ve transformed the entire park into a carnival, just for you.”
“Seriously?”
“No, what the hell. What kind of power do you think I have?”
Robert laughs. “But there’s really a carnival going on?”
“Yes, and you just happen to be here for it.”
“Awesome.”
It’s silly, really, that Aaron is so giddy to buy candy apples and fried dough and take pictures in photo booths; the line for the bumper cars is outrageous, the ferris wheel looks like it’s nearly 100 years old, there are about a thousand noisy children running around, but Christ, it’s all so good, being here with Robert, and if Aaron thought he couldn’t love his city more than before today, he was dead wrong.
They eat disgusting chilidogs and finish them off with Italian ice for lunch, and when Robert suggests they play a round of ring toss, Aaron is beside himself.
“Um, yes . I seriously dominate at this game.”
“You that sure of yourself, Dingle?”
“Yes. Best out of five?”
“Should we bet?”
Aaron purses his lips together. “Absolutely. If I win, you give me one thousand dollars.”
Robert throws his head back and laughs. “Right, because that’s realistic. Try again.”
“Fine. If I win, you have to get a tattoo.”
“That’s a little aggressive…”
“A fake one, dummy. At that booth over there.” He points over Robert’s shoulder. “A face tattoo. You’re going to be the most beautiful butterfly, all glittery and pink.”
He laughs again. “You’re on. And if I win, it’s a tramp stamp for you.”
“Works for me.” Because I won't have to get one.
Aaron steps up to the counter and puts down a few dollars. The man in the booth gives him a set of rings, and he makes sure Robert is watching before he takes his aim. He flicks his wrist and the first ring lands on the bottle neck easily. So does the second, and the third. The fourth, though, bounces off, clinking on the pavement on the ground.
Robert whistles. “Shame, shame.”
“Oh, unclench, it was only one ring.”
He smirks. “Try not to mess up the last one…” He moves in close, whispering into Aaron’ ear, “But you’re too good to screw up, right? Don’t get all in your head about it.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Are you serious.”
“I have to try everything I can because I’m really bad at this game and I don’t want to walk around as a human butterfly.”
He laughs. “Then why’d you suggest we bet if you knew you sucked at it?!”
“I didn’t know you’d be actually any good at it! And now I’m fucked!”
“Well, surprise, all of my best friends have kids and all we do is play games like this. I’m whipped Uncle Aaron.”
“Aw, that’s cute.”
“You know what else is cute? You walking around this carnival with a face painted like you’ve just busted out of your cocoon.”
“Shoot your last ring, Aaron.”
Aaron winks and turns his focus back to the game. He pauses before he tosses it toward the center, and it hits the edge of the bottle before falling to the floor alongside the one prior. He groans.
“Ha, Mr. Bigshot can only get three out of five.”
He flips him off. “You need four to win. God speed.”
The first one actually makes it on easily, and Robert’s facial expression makes it very clear that he hadn’t expected that to happen, but he still says, “See? That’s how it’s done.”
Aaron snorts. “Continue, then, Master.”
He wiggles his brows. “Master, huh?”
“Oh, Christ, you’re something else.”
He laughs and flings the next ring, missing every bottleneck entirely. The third ring does exactly the same thing. And the fourth. Robert frowns. “Well.”
“ Well, seems like you have to get this last shot to stay in the game, otherwise I’ll go hold your place in line at the butterfly painting table.”
He groans. “I’m going to be realistic, here. Go get in line.”
“An honest man who knows what he’s worth. I love it.”
Robert cocks his hip and tosses the last ring. It’s such a bad throw, it’s almost laughable, and it doesn’t even come close to landing on a single bottleneck. He drags his hands down his face. “This blows.”
“Robert, that was so shitty, I’m beginning to think you lost on purpose.”
“Aaron, it’s, like three o’clock in the afternoon! I’m going to have to walk around like an insect in broad daylight for another six hours! I can assure you, this was not on purpose. I’m, unfortunately, just that bad at it.”
“Valid point. Okay, let’s go paint you and then go to the roller coaster.”
“Hold up.” He puts his hands in the air. “You didn’t say anything about a roller coaster.”
Aaron crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re kind of being a wet blanket here, Harold.”
“I will let you paint my entire body. Just. No roller coasters.”
“See, I can tell how much you don’t want to, and that just makes me want to get you on it even more now.”
“ Aaron, ” he whines. He grabs Aaron’ wrists. “Baby. They’re, like, the only thing I hate. I can’t do them. They freak me out.”
Aaron thinks about that for a moment, and Robert strokes lightly over Aaron’ pulsepoint. He sighs. “Hey, I’m a little nervous, too, but I saved this date specifically for you. This is something I want to experience together.”
Robert narrows his eyes. “Are you… Mocking me for what I said on our first date.”
Aaron shrugs, cracking his knuckles. “I would never do that.”
“Fine. You’re a brat. And I’m getting on that rickety looking piece of shit and I’m probably going to throw up after, but I’m doing it to prove a point.”
He chokes back a laugh. “And what is that point, exactly, R?”
“That life is all about taking chances and you shouldn’t hesitate to do so, even if you want to strangle the person you’re on a date with.” He walks off, kicking dirt as he goes.
Aaron can’t stop smiling. “Okay, that’s nice,” he calls after him, “but don’t forget to take that life chance painted like a butterfly!”
After they get off the roller coaster, a few spectators recognize Robert as the bachelor and take his picture, perfectly timed as he pukes into the trashcan.
Painted like a butterfly.
It’s around dinner time when Aaron tells Robert it’s time to wrap up at the carnival and head to their final destination. Robert asks where they’re going, and Aaron tells him it’s a secret, surprised at himself that he hasn’t slipped up yet.
Aaron gives their driver the address, and leans back in his leather seat, watching the city whiz by them. Robert does the same, and they’re both quiet, taking in the views, hands reaching out for each other on instinct across the seat. Up until recently, Aaron had never been a fan of silence, never finding it to be of comfort. As of lately, he’s changed his mind.
They drive for about 40 minutes, exiting the city, and when they pull into a suburban neighborhood, Robert looks at Aaron, confusion written all over his face.
“You’ll see,” he says.
They drive for another few minutes and eventually turn into a crowded driveway, cars littering the street. There are red and navy balloons tied to the mailbox, music playing loudly from the backyard, a few kids running across the front yard, and a bounce house and slide is visible over the top of the fence.
“Aaron, what are we doing here? Whose house is this?”
Aaron opens his car door. “Come on, get out.”
Robert climbs out, too, slamming his door shut behind him. “Seriously, where are we?”
He walks a bit up the driveway, waiting for Robert to follow, then stops. “This is a hometown date, yes?”
“Correct…”
“You’ve already been to my hometown. I grew up in London. The outskirts. We went there together.”
Robert smiles. “I remember, I was there.”
“And you met my family. Well, some of them.”
“I think I recall that, too.”
He clears his throat. “I want you to meet my other family.”
“Your… What?”
“My reason for not moving back to London. These are my people, and they’re the closest thing to family I’m ever going to find here. Let’s go out back.” He starts to head in the direction of the backyard. “It’s Jackson’s birthday.”
Robert catches up with him, falling into step beside him. “Who’s Jackson?”
“My best friend’s two-year-old. Or rather, three-year-old now. Jesus. Can’t believe he’s already three.”
A light bulb seems to go off in Robert’s head. “And that’s where we are now? Your best friend’s house to celebrate his son’s third birthday?”
“Very good, love.”
Robert grabs Aaron’ arm. His expression is ridiculously soft. “Aaron, are you bringing me home to meet your family?”
He nods, a lump in his throat. “That’s what you’re supposed to do on hometown dates, and I can’t really do that here, now can I? I can’t take you on a typical hometown date so I guess this is the next best thing? And, like, whenever I’m homesick, they seem to fix it and…”
Aaron doesn’t know how to finish his sentence, but Robert seems to get it, anyway. He pulls him into a crushing hug and murmurs into his ear, “Let’s go meet your people. Your other family.”
He nods again. “Okay.” He pushes through the gate that leads to the backyard and immediately feels a thousand times lighter upon seeing the familiar faces he’s gone without for the past few months.
Niall spots him first and he breaks out into a broad grin. “Aaron!” he shrieks, getting the attention of nearly everyone in the backyard, and all at once, it’s too much, and Aaron can’t be blamed for the way his eyes fill up with tears.
He barely makes it another five feet into the yard before he has so many pairs of arms wrapped around him, he can’t tell where or who they’re coming from, and God, he would never tell his mum this, but being here feels more like home than London ever did.
After Aaron is able to pull himself together and kiss every single person in the yard directly on the lips, he’s less overwhelmed and can finally focus on introducing Robert to everyone. He starts with Liam.
“Robert, this is my best friend. Jackson is my pride and joy. Liam is lucky I share him.”
Liam laughs. “Yes, how fortunate I am that you share my son with me. ”
“I know, that’s what I said.”
He rolls his eyes at Aaron and turns to Robert, still smiling. “I really want to give you the benefit of the doubt because Aaron has an amazing judgement of character and I know he wouldn’t have brought you here if he didn’t think you were a wonderful person but why the fuck are you at my kid’s birthday party painted like a butterfly? It’s a little questionable, dude.”
Robert reaches up and touches his cheek. “Jesus, I forgot, honestly. I lost a bet with Aaron earlier and now I’m stuck like this.”
“Sounds about right. Do you want a drink?”
“Please.” He watches Liam walk off in search of a drink and frowns. “Aaron, can I wash this off yet? It’s humiliating to meet your best friends like this.”
“Aw, sore loser?”
“No.” He pouts. “Yes.”
He laughs. “I’ll bring you to the bathroom.”
They head inside, getting stopped three more times by more friends, all asking what’s up with Robert’s face, and by the time they actually make it to the bathroom, Robert’s blush is almost visible through the thick paint on his cheeks.
“That’s the last time I ever bet against you.”
“Maybe you should just get better at ring toss…”
“Yeah, that’s a start.” He heads into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and Aaron leans up against the hallway door, waiting for him to finish. He emerges a minute later, face scrubbed and pink paint gone, hairline damp. “Hi.”
“Ah, there he is. Missed your ugly face. The original one, not the one with glitter caked all over it.”
“Thanks, baby.” He takes a step forward, crowding into Aaron’ space. “Did I tell you that you looked gorgeous today?”
Aaron licks his lips. “No, I don’t think you did.”
“Unfairly hot. These jeans are ridiculous.” He’s staring at Aaron’ lips fairly obviously and Aaron’ stomach clenches. “Do you have any idea how attracted to you I am? All the time?” He doesn’t bother waiting for Aaron’ response before he leans in to kiss him, hands immediately gripping at his waist, and Aaron’ okay with that because he couldn’t come up with adequate words, anyway.
He whines at the way Robert controls the kiss, tipping Aaron’ head back, biting at Aaron’ bottom lip, pressing their hips together, his mouth hot and slick. It’s a lot, to think that he’s in his best friend’s house being kissed by the guy they used to watch on TV together - in secrecy, of course, as Liam made him swear on it, which means nothing because Aaron has told just about everyone they work with - but now, he’s so much more than that, and Aaron’ having issues comprehending that, verbalizing it. He’s in so deep and all he can do is hang onto Robert, bracing himself for whatever’s to come.
When they pull apart, Robert’s breathing is a little uneven and Aaron thinks his sounds about the same. He drags his finger across Aaron’ collarbone. “Wanted to do that all day. It was driving me crazy.”
Aaron hums in agreement. “What was stopping you?”
“Didn’t wanna smudge my paint.”
He smiles. “Good point.”
“And, also, no cameras here now.”
Aaron looks around and realizes he’s right. He’s grown so accustomed to them that it barely registers when they’re there and when they’re not. “Cameras haven’t really stopped you before, Sugden.”
“I know,” he agrees. “Just. Wanted a minute alone with you. To kiss you and touch you without everyone else getting to see it. I don’t always want to share you.”
How fucking ironic. “Kiss me again.”
“Okay,” he says easily. This time, he pushes Aaron up against the wall, deepening the kiss, and Aaron whimpers when he feels Robert starting to get hard against him.
“Christ,” he spits out, breaking the kiss as quickly as it started, burying his head into Robert’s chest. “It’s so annoying that people would notice if we went missing for an hour or two.”
Robert nods, hands reaching down to palm at Aaron’ ass through his jeans a bit helplessly, and Aaron whimpers again. “I have never been this sexually frustrated in my life,” Robert says through gritted teeth. “I’m gonna need a minute.”
Aaron snorts. “You’re telling me.”
He kisses Aaron’ jaw once, twice, three times, then steps back. “Okay.” He clears his throat. “Should get back outside. Liam was getting me a drink.”
“Fuck Liam.” He pauses. “No, wait, don’t do that.”
He laughs. “I won’t. But I should really make the rounds with everyone else, right? If they’re important to you, they’re important to me.”
Aaron briefly closes his eyes. “They’re the most important.”
“Okay, then that’s how I feel about them, too.” He heads out of the hallway and back into the living room without another word or a single glance backward, and Aaron has to count to 20 three times over before he’s sure he’s not going to scream or put his head through the wall.
Everyone loves Robert, which comes as a surprise to no one. The women think he’s sweet, the men think he’s a riot, and the kids are over the moon about a new addition to the bunch that actually wants to play tag and wiffle ball for hours on end.
Robert is in the middle of tossing an endless string of kids down the bouncy slide when Adam pulls Aaron away from the rest of the crowd.
“So. I’d like an apology.”
Aaron crosses his arms. “For…”
“For making me feel like the biggest jackass on the planet for signing you up for this and now you’re essentially married.”
He snorts. “Okay, let’s not get carried away, here.”
“I’m not. Look at him.” They both turn and Aaron’ lips immediately quirk up into a smile as he watches Robert pile Jackson and Mia onto his lap, all three bouncing down the slide together. “Everyone is obsessed with him. You included.”
Aaron turns back to Adam. “Yeah, that’s exactly the point. Everyone is obsessed with him. He has three more dates to go on this week, with three other guys. This isn’t a sure thing, Adam.”
Adam nods. “Are you freaking out at all?”
“Outwardly, no. Internally, it’s a raging panic-fest.”
He smiles. “Do you love him?”
Aaron looks down at his hands, ripping off a broken nail off of his thumb. “Don’t you think it’s too early?”
“Not necessarily. When did you tell Nate you loved him?”
He shrugs. “I dunno. A couple of months, probably.”
“So, same time frame for you and Robert, right?”
“It’s not the same, though, Adam. Nathan and I were inseparable. We basically lived inside each other. I’ve only had a handful of dates with Robert.”
“Yeah, a handful of intense dates that Nate could have never competed with. Are you saying that you and Robert wouldn’t be inseparable if you didn’t have the opportunity?” When Aaron doesn’t answer, Adam continues. “I don’t know, Aaron. Just sounds like you’re making up excuses to me.”
“Adam, this is the weirdest situation I’ve ever been in. I have nothing to compare it to, no one to ask for advice, so excuse me for being a little hesitant. I’m terrified.”
He nods, pursing his lips together. “I don’t think you need to be terrified.”
“How could I not be?!”
Adam turns to look at Robert again, who now has birthday cake smeared across his face, and all of the kids are laughing hysterically, some with tears in their eyes. “Because based on the way he’s spent the entire night playing with a bunch of stranger’s kids ‘cause he knows what they mean to you, I’m gonna have to go with he’s in love with you, too.”
Aaron can’t turn away from Robert. “I want to believe that.”
“Have you seen the way he looks at you? It’s disgusting. There’s no way that guy isn’t head over heels for you.”
“But what if he’s looking at the other guys the same way?”
“Aaron.” Adam grabs his shoulders, forcing him to meet his gaze. “If you really thought that you two weren’t on the same page, would you still be here right now?”
He squirms to get out of Adam’s grip, but he’s strong. “Probably not, no.”
“Trust your gut, okay? I’ve known the real life Robert Sugden for about five hours now, and I can say with confidence that there is no one better suited for you than he is. Really.”
He closes his eyes for a moment and exhales. “Okay.”
Adam drops his hands. “Have you told him?”
“Told him what?”
“That you love him? Or that you’re coming out of your skin you’re so scared?”
He shakes his head. “Neither.”
“Don’t you think maybe you should?”
Aaron sighs and rolls his eyes. “Yes, mum, I’ll talk to my boyfriend about my feelings. ”
“Thank you, dear,” he replies in a terrible British accent. “Now, go on with it.”
“Right now?!”
“Yes. Go. Before I do it for you and you look like a total dick for making your best friend tell your boyfriend that you like him, like we’re in sixth grade or some shit.”
“Ugh. Fine. But I need a drink first.”
“Deal.”
One drink turns into two, and two turns into seven.
He’s more than a little tipsy when he finally works up the nerve to drag Robert away from the rest of the group, and his legs wobble a bit as he tries to situate himself up against the fence. Robert’s staring at him with a shit-eating grin on his face because he can totally tell Aaron is teetering on the edge of too drunk for a child’s birthday party and Aaron wants to punch him, and possibly himself. But first, he needs to sit.
He slides down the length of the fence, the grass damp underneath him. Robert sits down, too, their knees knocking together.
“You should drink more often. Love how pink your cheeks get.” He reaches over to touch Aaron’ skin but Aaron knocks his hand away.
“Okay. It’s time to talk.”
“About what?”
“We kinda started to discuss it on the boat but I told you later.” He looks up at Robert and then back down again. “Later is now.”
“Oh.” He puts his hand on Aaron’ knee. “Okay. Good.”
Aaron ignores the way Robert’s palm feels, the way the cameras are aiming directly at his face, the way Adam is doing a poor job at concealing the way he’s blatantly staring at them from across the yard. Instead, he only focuses on the words that are stuck on the tip of his tongue. “I don’t think I’m ready to tell you every single thing that’s on my mind.”
“That’s fair.”
He nods. “Robert, I’m seriously so crazy about you, you know that, right?”
Robert squeezes his knee. “It’s good to hear.”
He smiles briefly, trying not to feel uneasy. “I love the idea of a future with you. It’s like… Not farfetched anymore, is it?”
“No, it isn’t.”
He nods again. “I want it, you and me.” He squints his eyes, trying to ward off his impending headache. “But it really freaks me out thinking that you can have an idea of a future with other people, too.”
Robert doesn’t say anything for a minute, just drags his thumb across the rip in Aaron’ jeans at the knee. “I don’t want you to be nervous. I’m completely crazy about you, too.” Aaron drags his fingers through the grass and pulls out a clump, making a small pile, can’t look up at Robert. He continues. “It’s important that this is mutual because it’s really difficult to read anyone in this situation and we have to be open and honest and fearless. It’s a two way street, Aaron. We have to pick each other in the end, right?”
“Right.” It’s all he can manage to choke out, but Robert doesn’t ask him to say anything else, content to wrap his arm around Aaron’ shoulders and pull him in close, kissing the skin right below his ear.
They don’t say much after that, and it’s not like anything either of them said was a heavy admission, really, but Aaron still feels a bit better. He’s now verbalized that he’s imagining this to be permanent situation, he and Robert, and Robert knows.
He looks up at Robert after a while, who’s staring at the ongoing party with a lopsided smirk on his face, and Aaron pokes him on the chest. “What do you think? Of all these people?”
He grabs Aaron’ pointer finger to get him to stop poking. “These people are outstanding, Aaron.”
“I think so, too.”
“Like, I want to adopt Niall.”
He laughs. “We all do.”
Robert brushes his hands on his thighs. “Wanna go back and be social? I’m only here for another hour or two before I have to leave.”
He frowns and scoots over closer to Robert, nudging his head under Robert’s arm. “No. You’re not leaving.”
He kisses him on the forehead. “Believe me, I don’t want to.”
Aaron sighs. “And I won’t be able to see you until next weekend?”
Robert nods. “Right. Back in LA.”
“Ugh. LA.”
“Not enjoying it there?”
“Yeah, I totally love being caged inside the mansion like a fucking animal.”
“Oh, what a problem.”
Aaron punches Robert’s thigh. “That’s enough out of you.”
They stand up together and make their way back to the group, Robert heading over to Adam, Aaron being dragged away by Jackson and his friends, and it feels so normal, so typical to be having a cookout on this lazy Saturday night in May with his best friends and his best boy, that he has to close his eyes whenever the cameras are near. He’s not ready to face the reality of it, not yet.
An hour later, Aaron is laying on his stomach on the ground, Jackson and Mia doodling with paint on his back, when Robert drops down to his knees beside him.
“I was gonna tell you that I have to get going but this is way more interesting. What’s going on here?”
“Jack got a body paint set for his birthday and I’m drunk and volunteered to be his first subject.”
Robert laughs and peers over to see what they’ve done so far. “See, it’s funny, because I lost the bet earlier, but somehow, you still ended up with a tramp stamp.”
“What’s a tramp stamp, Uncle Aaron?” Jackson asks.
Aaron ignores him in favor of grabbing the paper plate next to him with his half eaten piece of cake on it and smashing it directly into Robert’s face.
Once the paint and cake is gone, Aaron walks Robert out, car waiting for him at the end of the driveway, ready to take him on his next adventure. Aaron hates that it’s not an adventure with him, and that’s very telling.
He lets Robert press him up against the side of the car and kiss his knuckles, the inside of his wrist, his shoulder, his neck, his lips. Aaron clings onto him a little too tightly, seeing as he’ll see him in just a few days, but his heart is lodged in his throat, anyway.
“Not gonna be able to stop thinking about you,” he whispers against Robert’s lips, and he can try to blame it on the alcohol all he wants, but they both know that would be absolute bullshit.
“I can never stop thinking about you.”
Robert kisses him slowly and surely, just the way Aaron wants him to, and Aaron has to clench his fists up and push Robert away before he feels like he could stop breathing completely.
“See you in a few days, love.”
He brushes his curls out of his eyes and Aaron tries not to actively stare at his waterline, wet and threatening to spill over. “I’ll see you then, baby.” He kisses Aaron one more time, thorough and too much for the camera’s sake, and then he’s off.
Aaron walks back to the party, feeling a little worse, a little better, and mostly everyone has vacated, leaving just Liam, Adam, their wives, and kids. The bounce slide and house have both been deflated, the trash cans are overflowing, bits and shreds of wrapping paper all over the yard, and it’s very fitting that it looks like a warzone in here.
“I hate this,” he says out loud to no one in particular, and he is not crying.
Liam laughs and Adam comes over, wrapping him up in a hug. “He’ll be back.”
“But how do you know ?”
He steps back and smiles. “I had a good conversation with him. That boy likes you, Aaron.”
“Why, what’d he say?”
“He, just. Thanked me. For sending you to him. For bringing you two together. And that he’s so lucky to know you.”
His eyes fill up even more. “Oh, Christ, that’s even worse than I thought it would be.”
Adam chuckles, running his fingers through his hair. “Do you need another drink?”
“No, I definitely do not. Want is another story, though. Gimme.”
Aaron, Adam, and Liam sit around in the backyard for way too long, Aaron describing the past couple of months the best that he can without sounding like a total lovesick idiot, and by the time he falls asleep on Liam’s couch, he has no idea how many beers he’s had or who gives him the blanket.
He’s happy, though. He does know that.
Aaron, Casey, Cam, and Bryce are lined up side by side, all in suits, and Aaron isn’t sure about the rest of them, but he’s profusely sweating, and it’s safe to assume the other three are, too.
Robert is standing at the front of the room with a short table next to him, a tray of roses on top. There are only three, and all of a sudden, it’s so fucking real that they’re nearing the finish line, that this is all almost over. Aaron has to remind himself to breathe.
Chris places his hand on Robert’s shoulder. “Robert, gentlemen, tonight, there are three roses. The man not called will have a moment to say his goodbye’s and will then immediately leave the mansion following the rose ceremony. Robert, you may begin.”
Robert nods, frowning. “Okay, before we start, I just wanted to say that I had such a great time visiting everyone’s homes and families and I can’t thank you all enough for inviting me into your towns. It was amazing, and that’s what makes this even harder.” He swallows hard and picks up a rose. “Bryce.”
Bryce steps forward, smile on his face. Robert asks if he’ll accept this rose, Bryce says yes, they embrace, and Aaron wants to hurl.
Robert takes a deep breath, picking up the second rose. “Cameron.”
Cam exhales and accept his rose, as well. Aaron can nearly feel Casey’s heartbeat alongside his own.
Chris rejoins their group, standing next to Robert. “Robert, this is the final rose. Take your time.” Robert nods, and looks down at his hands.
Aaron taps his fingers uselessly against his thighs, and it’s impossible to not be nervous. He thinks - knows - he has an amazing connection with Robert, one that no one can touch. But what if Casey feels the exact same way?
He almost misses Robert calling his name, the rushing in his ears nearly deafening, and when he walks up to Robert, he sees that his hands are trembling.
“Aaron,” he murmurs, “will you accept this rose?”
“Did you really think I would say no?”
He smiles, his shoulders going lax. “There’s always doubt.”
Aaron nods, understanding, but. “Not with me, there isn’t. Not really.”
Robert doesn’t say anything else after that, but his eyes never leave Aaron’ face, even when he pins the rose to Aaron’ lapel. He hugs him, just like he did with Bryce and Cam, but this time, he buries his face into the crook of Aaron��� neck, breathing deeply, Aaron rubbing his hand up and down Robert’s back.
He’s vaguely aware that they’re not the only ones in the room, and he suddenly feels very uncomfortable, knowing the rest of the guys are most likely staring at them. He drops his hands and pulls back. “You’re crushing my rose, Sugden,” he mumbles.
Robert smiles briefly. “Sorry.”
Aaron walks back to his spot amongst the other guys, the room deadly quiet, and he waits patiently as Casey and Robert head out the door together, Robert’s hand on the small of Casey’s back, both wearing matching frowns.
Bryce is the first to break the silence with a loud sigh. “So, does anyone else feel like these are getting less and less enjoyable every week?”
Cam laughs, his voice wavering a bit. “Yeah, let’s talk about something else until Robert gets back.”
Bryce nods. “Please. How were your hometown dates? Aaron, what’d you guys do? You don’t have any family here, right?”
Aaron smiles, twisting his hands together. He could go into an in depth conversation about how special it was to have Robert there, loving on his makeshift family, but he wants to keep it just between them. That is, until it’s aired on national television. “Yeah, no family,” he replies. “My best mate had a birthday party for his little lad, so we stopped by there, instead.”
“Aw, that’s nice.”
“It was.” He turns to Cam. “How’d it go for you?”
Cam rolls his eyes. “Did you know,” he says in a tone that implies he’s still pissed off, “that if the producers of the network don’t think your own home is deemed appropriate by Mr. ABC himself, they make you film in someone else’s house and pretend it’s your own?”
“What?!” Aaron and Bryce both say together.
He nods, expression on his face hardly amused. “Apparently, my childhood home wasn’t ‘nice’ enough, so we had to shoot at my aunt and uncle’s house. Unbelievable,” he scoffs, shaking his head.
“That is ridiculously stupid,” Bryce says.
“What is?” Robert asks, walking back in through the door.
The three men turn and look, and Aaron answers for them. “The way you tie your shoelaces. What grown man still has to do the bunny ear loops?”
Cam laughs. “That’s true, he does do that.”
Robert rolls his eyes and stands in front of them, gaze going back and forth between each of their faces. He’s holding a glass of champagne and he takes a tentative sip. “And then there were three.”
“Three Musketeers,” Bryce says.
Aaron shrugs. “More like The Three Stooges.”
Robert smirks briefly. “This week was hard. Like, it’s been getting harder, but now that I’ve met your families, it’s harder to say goodbye.” He stares at the door. “That wasn’t fun. At all. And I know next week, it’s going to be even worse.” He frowns slightly, absentmindedly rubbing the stem of the glass between his fingers. “But I made the right decision. And having you three here makes me feel so, so lucky, and I wanted you to know that.”
A crew member walks over to them and hands them each their own champagne class. Aaron takes his and holds it up. “To us. All four of us.”
Robert nods, and holds up his glass, too. “Thank you.”
They all clink their glasses together, and when Aaron feels Robert relax beside him, that’s when he feels like he can breathe again, too.
They find out they’re heading to Fiji as their final destination, the tropical spot in which one of them will get engaged, and Aaron tries not to let that overwhelm him. Instead, he takes two sleeping pills and passes out for the duration of the nearly 24-hour long flight.
Fiji is stunning, the most stunning place they’ve been to thus far. The water doesn’t even look real, it’s so clear, and he’s almost afraid to touch it, not wanting to disturb it.
Aaron, Cam, and Bryce set themselves up inside three separate houses that all hover above the water on stilts - the most unreal thing Aaron has ever seen - and he’s almost reluctant to leave the suite, in awe that he’s allowed to stay somewhere so beautiful, so magical.
Chris Harrison knocks on Aaron’ door halfway through the first day. “How’re you enjoying paradise so far?”
“I don’t want to marry Robert anymore. I’d rather marry this island.”
He laughs. “I’ll pass that message along. But in the meantime.” He waves an envelope around. “Date card for you, sir.”
“Oh!” Aaron skips over to Chris and takes the envelope from him. “Thank you, servant.”
He grabs a throw pillow from the couch and throws it at Aaron. “I hope you don’t drown in the ocean.”
“Now, that doesn’t sound too sincere.”
“Huh. Probably because it wasn’t. Enjoy your date!”
Aaron laughs, opening up the envelope. “Thanks, love.”
Aaron, dive into paradise with me. Robert.
The morning before their final one-on-one date, Robert shows up at Aaron’ door with the camera crew and a bag full the essentials: Pop-Tarts, Cheetos, Chex Mix, Nutella, and M&M’s. He tosses the bag to Aaron as he takes a seat on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest.
“What the hell is all this crap? It’s amazing, you’re an angel.”
He laughs. “I dunno. I had a bunch of junk food in my room and thought, who better to share this with than the Trash King himself?”
“Oh, wow, what a flattering nickname, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Aaron rips open the bag of M&M’s, spilling them out onto the coffee table in front of him, sorting them by color. He can feel Robert’s gaze on him as he reaches for the red ones, leaving the others behind. “Are you staring for a reason?”
“You’re something else. You know they all taste exactly the same, right.”
“Your palette clearly hasn’t evolved if you think the red tastes the same as the others.”
“You’re like my kids at work. I probably spend about 25% of my day waiting around while kids try to choose between either the purple or the green toothbrush.”
“I mean, that’s an important decision, Dr. Sugden. Who are you to judge?”
“I suppose you’re right.” He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Speaking of work.”
Aaron looks up. “What about it?”
“So, like, if at the end of this whole thing, we end up together…” He trails off frowning. “Would you leave Chicago to move to Leeds to be with me?”
“Oh.” He puts down the rest of the chocolate and wipes his hands on his shorts. “I hadn’t really thought about it much.”
“At all?”
He shrugs. “Not seriously.”
“Okay, well, that kind of sucks, because I’m trying to picture a future with you and it hurts to know you haven’t given it a any thought.”
“Hey.” He twists on the couch so he’s facing Robert completely. “I have . I promise. I just don’t really have an answer, I guess, is what I meant.” Robert’s still frowning. “Okay, let’s talk about it now, yeah?”
Robert nods. “Okay.”
“What’re you thinking?”
He exhales loudly. “That I’m not sure I can leave California.”
Aaron rolls his shoulders, already irritated. “Okay… And I don’t know if I can leave Chicago.”
“But it’s different for me. I have a practice there. And all my family.”
“So? I have a job, too, one I’ve worked really hard for, and I have all my friends there. Why should I be the one to leave?”
“Don’t get all defensive, Aaron.”
“Of course I’m defensive. My life is important, too. I already picked up and moved once. And that was hard enough.”
“So why can’t you do it again?”
“What the fuck?” He clenches and unclenches his fists. “Do you know how selfish you sound? Moving to another country was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. You know how important my family is to me. And to suggest I have to do it all over again? Robert. Can you imagine being six hours behind your family?”
He shakes his head. “No, I guess I can’t.”
“If I permanently moved to California, I’d be behind eight. When would I ever be able to talk to them?”
“I don’t know, Aaron.”
“Jesus.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Is this a dealbreaker? Like, you moving away from Leeds is a firm no?” Even the idea of that makes his stomach hurt, half pissed, half on the verge of tears, and it must be written all over his face based on the way Robert’s entire demeanor softens.
“No, Aaron, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just a discussion that needs to be had. I need to know where we stand. This is a normal conversation a couple would have. We’re just not in a normal situation.”
Aaron nods. “That makes sense, I guess.”
“Right.” He looks down at his lap and then back up at Aaron. “For me, moving away from Leeds is unrealistic. I’m new to my practice, and I don’t know how easy it would be to join another practice again, especially in some place I’m completely unfamiliar with.”
No, the tears are gone. He’s just pissed. “That’s super hypocritical, Robert. You’re not better than me just because you’re a doctor. Relocating wouldn’t be easy for me, either.”
Robert sighs. “Aaron, it’s really fucking difficult to make these kind of decisions when you’re the way you are.”
Aaron stands up at that. “What the fuck does that mean and you better tread really fucking lightly.”
He doesn’t get up, just remains frozen from his position on the couch. “I don’t always know how you feel. About me.”
He stares at Robert like he has six heads. “You must be kidding.”
“No, I’m really not.”
“I have been nothing but honest with you from day one. Do you expect me to trip over myself for you, like everyone else does?”
“No, never. That’s what I like about you. That you never act a certain way around me.”
“Then what are you trying to say?!”
Robert puts his head into his hands, obviously as frustrated as Aaron is. “Don’t think that I’m comparing you to anyone when I say this--”
“You’re already off to a bad start, I can tell you now.”
“--but I know exactly how Cameron and Bryce feel about me. They can verbalize it. I never have any doubt with them. I don’t have to guess. With you…”
Aaron sneers, and he’s seeing red. Hell, he can almost taste it. “I don’t give a fuck about Cam and Bryce. One single bit. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t fucking exist. This is about us. And you’re going to sit there and tell me you’d rather be with one of them because they’re willing to up and move to your perfect fucking home without an argument or care in the world.”
“I didn’t say any of that! Christ, Aaron.” He stands, now, staring at Aaron directly in the eye. “Being in this position is so fucking hard, okay? You think you have to second guess everything? Try being me. All I do is worry and stress over every little thing.”
“Oh, poor Robert, everyone wants him and he can’t fucking decide what he wants.”
“It’s not like that! Fuck!” He rubs his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I know I told you I enjoy the chase, but Aaron. Give me something to work with.”
“I am! I’m giving you everything, but you just don’t want to fucking listen to me!”
“No, you’re not listening to me. I have to choose, okay? I have to choose between three people who care about me, whom I care about, too, and I thought I knew what the end game was, but now I’m not sure, because the one I wanted can’t tell me exactly what he’s thinking about our relationship or even discuss moving without having a fucking panic attack. I have to choose and it’s tearing me apart and I can’t fucking think straight. I have to pick. I have to.”
Aaron covers his ears with his hands, can’t listen anymore, and he wants to turn the world off. “Just because I can’t say the words you want to hear specifically doesn’t mean I’m not in this, so how dare you tell me that I’m not worth it,” he nearly screams, “because I tell you how I feel every damn day. It’s written all over my face, the way I touch you, the way we talk, I fucking know it.” He’s shaking, tears spilling over, and he wants to leave the island, as absurd as that rationality is. “Stop saying you have to choose, stop saying you have to pick. I can’t. I can’t fucking.”
“Aaron…”
“No, get out. Just. Out. Please.” He’s crying harder now, completely humiliated, and Robert won’t move.
“No, I’m staying here, we’re fixing this.”
Aaron looks around frantically for his shoes. “I’ll leave, then.”
“This is your room.”
He’ll leave without shoes, fuck it. “I don’t care.”
“I do, though.”
“Awesome. Don’t follow me. And don’t be here when I come back.”
“Aaron.”
He walks out the door and slams it behind him, heading down the boardwalk, not bothering to turn back around to see who’s following him. He can hear the crew behind him, and fortunately, Robert listened, staying back.
He makes it to the edge of the beach before he realizes how many tremors his body has. He’s shaking, hands nearly twitching with it, and he looks around frantically, eyes blurred.
“Lydia,” he calls out, voice shaky.
She’s at his side in a second, taking off her headphones, letting her clipboard drop to the sand. “Aaron, what just happened in there?”
“It’s happening again.”
“What’s happening again?”
“It’s.” His eyes sting. “I can’t do it again.”
“Aaron, sweetheart, can’t do what again?”
“Be in this position again! Make someone choose between me and someone else! I can’t fucking do it!” He sinks down to the sand on his knees, taking shallow breaths. “It’s not fucking fair!”
Lydia drops to her knees, too. “You have to give me more than that. Come on, Aaron. What are you talking about.”
He clenches his fists up, willing himself to breathe. “I’m over it, okay? I swear I’m over him. But those shit feelings don’t go away over night.”
“Him? Robert?”
“Fuck. No. Not Robert. Nathan.”
“Your ex?”
He digs his fingers into the sand. “People get cheated on all the time. I’m not special for that. Fuck.” He’s pissed that his hands won’t stop shaking. “But I let him pick between me and someone else and look where I am now.”
“Oh, Aaron…”
“While I was picking out engagement rings, he was, too. Just not for me .” He wipes at his eyes uselessly, humiliated. “Goddamnit. And I thought he just had a lapse in judgement. Because I was so fucking stupid. I thought if I gave him the choice between me and the other guy, he would have picked me. I let him choose. And he didn’t choose me.” He breathes in, out, in. “I was so sure he would choose me. I was nearly positive. And now I’m in the same Goddamn situation again. I’m letting someone I’m the most sure about choose between me and someone else, and what if I’m wrong again? I can’t go through that again. I can’t. I was finally back to normal. What if I can’t recover twice?! Lydia.” He nearly chokes on his last sentence.
Lydia looks up at the rest of the crew, eyes blazing. “You guys can stop recording now. Give him a fucking second, for the love of God.”
Aaron watches as they lower their cameras, but his mic is still turned on, and at this point, he doesn’t really care. He just lets Lydia gather him in a hug, and he murmurs into her shoulder, “Somehow, three months with Robert means more than three years with Nathan, and I feel sick to my stomach.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
He nods, still hanging onto her. “Yeah. Me, too.”
It takes him 20 minutes on the beach to collect himself, and he’s absolutely mortified. Lydia has a permanent expression of fear and worry etched across her face, Dale looks beyond uncomfortable, and all Aaron wants to do is crawl into his bed in paradise and sleep until it’s time to go home, whenever that may be.
He gets a knock on the door just before midnight, though, and he knows before he opens it that it’s Robert.
He’s standing there looking as defeated as Aaron feels, hair pushed back into a headband, t-shirt stretched out around the neck. His voice cracks when he asks, “Can I come in?”
Aaron nods, standing back to make room, suddenly aware that he’s in boxers and Robert is fully clothed. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Robert…”
He holds up his hands to stop him. “Aaron.” He takes a step forward. “I’m, like.”
Aaron reaches out and touches Robert’s hand, light and fleeting, and that’s enough invitation for Robert to wrap up Aaron in the safest, most careful hug he’s ever received.
They stand there, tangled up in each other, for God only knows how long. Their breathing eventually synchronizes, Robert’s hand moving in time against his back to Aaron’ heartbeat, and by the time they pull apart, Aaron feels more stable than he has in the past five hours.
He looks up and sees the angry red waterline of Robert’s eyes, and he hates it. He drags his finger along Robert’s cheekbone, Robert’s eyes fluttering closed, and he turns slightly to kiss Aaron’ palm.
“Aaron, I’m so sorry.”
Aaron shakes his head. “No, you don’t get to do that.”
“I do, though. I bombarded you and it was obviously something you weren’t ready to talk about, and eventually we’ll get to why it freaked you out so bad, but I should have listened and stopped. I pushed you. And that wasn’t okay.”
“Okay, that’s fair.” He sticks his hands into Robert’s pockets for no reason other than it makes Robert smile, and he does. He leans his head against his chest. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I’m pitting you up against other people, because I most definitely am not. You are your own category, Dingle.”
Aaron smiles into Robert’s shirt. “I’m sorry I walked out on you.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t solved world hunger yet.”
“Is that all your fault now?”
“I’ll take the blame, while I’m on a roll.”
“That’s nice of you.”
Robert hums against the top of his head. “Do you still want to go on our one-on-one tomorrow?”
“Yes, of course, R.”
He breathes out a sigh of relief. “I just want to be with you.”
Aaron nods. “That’s what I want, too.”
“Thank God.” He wraps his arms back up around Aaron, squeezing tightly, kissing his cheek. “I really am sorry, Aaron.”
“I know, love. Me, too.”
Robert kisses him before he leaves, thoughtfully and purposefully, and technically, nothing has been resolved, but they’ll get there. Eventually. Aaron watches him walk down the boardwalk and onto the beach until he disappears completely into the darkness.
He slips into Robert’s San Fran sweatpants, the material already thinning in certain spots, and it’s honestly too warm for pants, but he needs them for comfort. He grabs the bag of M&M’s on the coffee table on his way to bed and tosses a blue one into his mouth.
“He’s totally crazy,” he says out loud to himself. “This one has a completely different taste than the red ones. He’s nuts. Absolutely mad.” He peers into the bag and sees that there are only green and yellow left now; he counts how much of each before he closes his eyes and pops on into his mouth. “Yellow. 100% yellow. It has that yellow flavor.” He recounts the candies left in the bag, and realizes he ate a green one.
Oh.
Well, maybe we’re all a little mad here.
With that, he turns off the table on the nightstand and falls asleep before he can give it one more second of thought.
This is the first time Aaron has woken up not ecstatic to be going on a date with Robert.
He can’t shake it, can’t stop thinking about yesterday - positive Robert is feeling the same - and it’s left him with an uneasy feeling stuck at the bottom of his stomach.
He tries to focus on something else, anything else, hoping that he doesn’t fuck up the rest of their time here, or their relationship, and makes the executive decision to push the argument out of his mind completely in order to have a great day.
Not the healthiest approach, but it’ll do.
He settles on dressing like a proper tourist for their date, wearing flip flops, a floral bathing suit, a loose fitting black t-shirt, and a snapback to block the sun. He meets Robert on the water’s edge, hoping they can concentrate on their date, the ocean, the sun, each other.
Robert holds out his arms for Aaron, forced smile on his face. Aaron is sure his expression is mirrored as he carefully wraps his own arms around Robert’s body, uncomfortable and nervous, the first time he’s ever felt that way around this boy.
That won’t do.
Robert pulls back and casts his gaze down. “Hi,” he says, smile still weak.
Jesus, Aaron fucked up. He stands up on his tip toes and presses a kiss to Robert’s cheek, trying to remedy what’s started to unravel. “Hi hot stuff.”
His smiles changes and this time, it’s real. “Wanna do something fun today?”
“Please.” He sighs, relaxing. “Like what?”
“Yacht and jet skiing.”
“Oh, that does sound fun.” He takes Robert’s hand in his own. “Can I drive the jet ski?”
“Fat chance.”
Aaron bends down and throws a wet clump of sand at him, covering Robert’s entire chest, and the way Robert laughs makes Aaron already feel a thousand times better.
When Robert said ‘yacht,’ he wasn’t fucking around. This boat is massive. It has a lower deck with a full bedroom and bathroom, a kitchenette, and the top deck is wide and open, a tightly knit net hanging over the open ocean for them to lounge on. It’s serene and Aaron is eager to spend the day in the sun, baking and basking with his boy, letting Fiji overwhelm them and nothing else.
The yacht takes off toward the sea, wind already whipping around them, and Aaron tugs off his shirt.
“Can you pass me the sunscreen?”
Robert nods. “I’ll do you one better. Turn around.”
He twists his body and lets Robert’s hands glide across his back, smoothing the lotion up and down his shoulders, and Aaron’ entire body goes slack. He knows his entire back is covered, but Robert keeps going, massaging and kneading, and he doesn’t tell him to stop, letting his eyes slip shut, loving Robert’s hands on his skin.
Robert pulls his hands away and kisses just below his ear. “All good.”
“Mmm. I’d say.” He reaches for his sunglasses, snapback still on, and gestures over his shoulder. “Wanna?”
Robert nods. “Yeah.”
Neither of them say another word as Aaron settles in on it first, and he’s loving how the sunshine feels against his skin, loving how Robert feels against him even better. They both fall asleep like that, Robert’s face pressed against Aaron’ neck, legs tangled together, sun and ocean hardly out of reach.
They’re both burned and sore by the time they eat lunch, but the water is so gorgeous and Robert looks impossibly good in his bathing suit and Aaron doesn’t care about a single thing other than this day, red skin and all.
Aaron is standing on the edge of the yacht, his toes curling over, and he looks down. “You sure you wanna jump? We’re kind of far up.”
“Aaron, please don’t be a giant wimp on every date we go on. Just jump in the fucking water.”
It’s the first time Robert has attempted a single joke since their day began, or hasn’t acted like he has to walk on eggshells, and Aaron is infinitely pleased. He breathes out a sigh of relief, smirking.
“Giant wimp? Hm. Okay.” He smiles sweetly before pushing Robert off of the boat, taken so off guard he doesn’t even make a sound until he surfaces out of the water. Aaron peers over the edge, still smiling, and he watches Robert pop up to the surface, stuttering.
“What the hell was that for?!” he shrieks from the water.
“For bugging me.”
“ That’s your punishment for bugging you?!”
Aaron puts his hand on his hip. “Yes. Why aren’t you understanding that?”
“Get in here so I can hold you underwater.”
He laughs. “Tempting.”
“Come on, fucking get in.”
“Are you gonna be nice to me if I join you?”
“I don’t know, are you gonna be nice to me ?”
“Probably not.”
“I like an honest man.” He looks down into the water. “Aaron, there are so many fish down here. You have to see it.”
“Alright, alright, I’m coming.” He scrunches up his face and doesn’t allow himself to think about it before he steps off the edge, falling through the air, and into the water amongst the fish.
He surfaces after a moment, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes, and Robert’s right next to him, staring. “Can I help you?”
“You look good wet.”
Aaron laughs. “You’re such an idiot.”
Robert swims over, kisses him gently on the lips, Aaron’ breathing a bit unsteady, and then actually does shove Aaron under the waves.
They climb onto the jet ski an hour later, Robert sitting up front and patting the seat behind him.
“Climb on, Aaron.”
Aaron scoffs. “Why the hell do you get to drive?”
“Because I got up here faster.”
“No, I don’t think so. Move back. I want to drive.”
Robert pouts. “Please?”
“Put your ugly lip away. I won’t even be able to see over you.”
“That’s true. My little pocket sized date…”
“Ha, okay, you don’t get to sit on at all , now, fucker.”
He laughs. “Fine. You can sit up front and drive.”
Aaron pulls himself up onto the jet ski. “Good call, R, what a great idea.”
Robert snorts. “Yeah, so glad I thought of it myself.”
For the next 90 minutes, Aaron whips them in and out of the waves, Robert holding onto his waist tightly, and every time they go over the wake, Robert slides forward, hips bucking, pushing up against him in all the right spots. This is obviously Robert’s payback for not being allowed to drive, amongst other things, and based on the way he laughs quietly each time Aaron curses under his breath, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
They’re set up on the beach under a cabana, overlooking the sun setting on the ocean’s horizon, filling their mouths with food that Aaron didn’t bother asking if it was okay to eat before he dived in. It’s perfect, bordering on too perfect, this dinner date, especially considering the emotional turmoil Aaron tapped into the night before. It feels phony, almost, like they’re tiptoeing around their mess, neither acknowledging what or how to clean it up.
Instead of saying anything, Aaron finishes off his dinner and climbs into Robert’s lap, forcing him to put down his own food.
“Thank you for a fun day,” he says.
Robert smiles and rubs his hand up and down the length of Aaron’ back. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I did.” He plays the curls at the nape of Robert’s neck. “Kinda don’t want to leave yet.”
He nods. “Impeccable timing.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I have this.” He leans over, reaching behind him to pick up an envelope addressed to both Robert and Aaron, keeping Aaron still balanced on his lap. “Chris gave this to me earlier.”
Aaron rolls his eyes, because as different as it is to be on the show, he has watched it several hundred times. “Oh, gee, what ever could that be?”
Robert hits him over the head with it. “Just open it and play along.”
“Fine.” He tears open the seal and pulls out the card. “Dear Robert and Aaron, should you decide you want to continue this date, camera free, into tomorrow morning, there is a fantasy suite just off the property that has been set up for you to use. If you decide to conclude your date here, your evening will end after dinner and you will separately go back to your individual hotel rooms. The key to the suite is attached, if you choose to use it, and enjoy! Chris Harrison.” He looks up at the sky. “Golly, what could we use this fantasy suite for…”
Robert laughs. “Activities.”
“What kind of activities?”
“I dunno. Arts and crafts, maybe.”
“Anything else?”
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to knit.”
Aaron snorts. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
Robert’s smile is lazy, his cheeks flushed from the sun. “Do you want to? Use it?”
He nods. “Yeah. I do.”
“Good. Wanna go see it? I bet it has a big TV.”
“That’s what you care about? A hotel room with a potentially big TV?”
“Aaron, it’s probably really big.”
Aaron stares blankly. “I can’t tell now if you’re talking about your penis or if you’re actually excited about a television set.”
Robert laughs, pushing Aaron off of him entirely. “Let’s just go.”
They get up together, Robert blowing out the candles along the rock wall. He grabs Aaron’ waist, squeezing his hip, and they head down the path along the infinity pool.
Aaron closes his eyes momentarily, so, so tired all of a sudden, which ends up being a grave mistake, because in a matter of seconds, he goes from leaning happily against Robert’s side to the bottom of the pool.
He sputters to the top, wiping his hair out of his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me, Sugden?!”
Robert is standing with his hands on his hips, his smile absurd, and Aaron wants to smack it off his face. “Payback for pushing me off the yacht.”
“You were in a bathing suit! I’m fully fucking clothed, you cock!” His t-shirt is stuck to every inch of him, weighing him down into the water. “This is disgusting!”
He’s nearly cackling now. “Doesn’t look disgusting, though.” He looks at the camera. “You’re welcome, viewers.”
“Oh my God.”
He sits on the edge of the pool, feet dangling into the water, still laughing. “I would say I’m sorry, but…”
“You’re not.”
“Exactly.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and wades through the water to stand between Robert’s legs, placing his hands on Robert’s thighs. “Are we like…”
“Okay?”
He nods. “Yeah. Are we okay.”
Robert covers Aaron’ hand with his own. “We have some stuff to sort out, but who doesn’t?”
Aaron smiles. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Do you want to? Talk about it?”
“No. We will. Just.” He moves in closer into Robert. “Not right now.”
“Okay, not right now,” Robert echoes. He bends over, just a couple of inches, and cups Aaron’ face with his hand. “You’re beautiful.”
“Robert, please.” He blushes and meets Robert the rest of the way, slotting their mouths together, and Robert kisses Aaron the only way he knows how, the only way Aaron likes.
It’s a good kiss, a really good one, especially considering it’s the first proper kiss they’ve shared since their blow out, but that doesn’t stop Aaron from reaching up, tangling his fingers in Robert’s necklace, and tugging him into the pool along side him.
Robert only falters for a minute, smiling against Aaron’ mouth. “I should have seen that one coming.”
“Jesus, it’s like you don’t know me at all,” Aaron scoffs.
He patiently drags his hands up and down Aaron’ sides. “I think I do though.” He kisses him again, a little deeper this time, backing Aaron up against the side of the pool.
Aaron keeps his hands low on Robert’s waist, pressing his thumbs into his skin every so often, and lets Robert dip him back, kissing him hard and with too much tongue for TV.
They’ve seen worse.
Robert pulls back and kisses along Aaron’ jaw. “Aaron.”
“Robert,” he croaks out.
He meets Aaron’ gaze, unwavering. “Do you want me?”
Aaron rolls his eyes and waves his left hand around. “ Everyone wants you.”
“I don't care what everyone else wants. I care what you want.” His grip on Aaron’ biceps tighten. “Do you want me.”
He doesn’t feel like playing games anymore. “Yes.”
“Okay.” His eyes have always made Aaron a little bit crazy, but right now, he thinks he could swim in them, blazing and attentive. “Let’s go.”
There’s nothing soft about the way Robert kisses Aaron once they get through the door to the fantasy suite. They’re both soaked to the bone, pool water dripping from their clothes and hair and eyelashes; Aaron is shaking from a combination of being cold and from anticipation, and it’s already too good for him to be able to function or form a coherent thought.
The wall behind him is hard and unforgiving, a contrast to how warm Robert is in front of him, mouth unable to leave Aaron’. He pushes Aaron up against the wall, Aaron standing up on his tip toes, calves straining. It’s uncomfortable, and he doesn’t care.
The way Robert works over Aaron’ body is like he’s taking out all his frustrations over the past 24 hours - maybe even past three months - out on his body, and Aaron is okay with that. He wants Robert to do that. Every drag of his lips, imprint from his fingers, grind of his hips is rough, riddled with energy and pent up intensity, and it already has Aaron whimpering. They haven’t even made it to their bed yet.
Aaron’ too impatient for this, squirming when Robert presses the length of his body up against Aaron’ drawing circles with his hips. He pushes Robert back, his head hitting the wall behind him.
“Robert, fuck,” he hisses out, helpless, Robert’s hips still working mercilessly against his own. “This wall sucks, c’mon.”
Robert dips down to kiss his neck, breath hot, ignoring Aaron’ request. “You taste so good.”
“I taste like chlorine.”
He can feel Robert’s smile against his skin. “I’m obsessed, whatever it is.”
Aaron starts grabbing at the waistband of Robert’s bathing suit, getting pissed when the wetness sticks to Robert’s skin, making it impossible for him to pull it down. He huffs out a frustrated groan. “Don’t be useless, help me, get your shorts off.”
“Don’t wanna take my hands off you, though. I can wait,” he murmurs, proving his point by reaching around to squeeze Aaron’ ass. Hard.
And he’s weak. Just totally and completely weak, helpless to not give in. It’s been weeks - months, probably - of seeing Robert’s face and body and hearing his stupid fucking voice every time he has his own eyes closed, the first thing he thinks of, always. He’s been in this position with Robert before, but this time, he wants it all.
He pushes back into Robert’s hand, swallowing. “Gonna have to take your clothes off if you’re gonna fuck me.”
Robert’s movements stutter, breathing hitching. “You gonna let me fuck you, baby?”
“Do you want to?”
It’s a ridiculous question, honestly, based on the way Robert can’t stop staring at Aaron’ lips and clawing at his back and groaning whenever their hips grind together just right. But he needs to hear it anyway, needs to hear Robert say the words.
His eyes are wide and his breathing is frantic as he surges forward to kiss Aaron, covering his entire body. Aaron can feel how hard Robert is, big and heavy in front of him, and he knows Robert can feel him, too. It’s heady and he’s almost dizzy with how bad he wants it. Can finally have it.
Robert pulls away. “You’re insane if you think I don’t want it, Christ.” He kisses him again before he pulls back and yanks off his own soaking wet t-shirt. “Wanna get my fingers in you so bad. Wanna see it.”
Aaron swallows. “Is that it?”
“You think I’d be able to stop there?” He reaches forward to pull Aaron’ t-shirt over his head, getting caught on his ears, Aaron shaking free. “Wanna taste you.”
He closes his eyes. “Where?”
“Everywhere.” For emphasis, he grips Aaron through his bathing suit, palming him, and Aaron curls forward into it. “Wanna be inside you, want to fuck you, make you fall apart, make you come. You want that?”
He whines, reaching up to tangle his hands in Robert’s hair. “Yes, Robert, please .”
Robert nods the best that he can with Aaron’ hands gripping him so tightly. “Anything, baby. Anything you want.” He leans in to kiss him again, and starts walking backward toward the bed, hands and lips and tongue relentless.
Aaron falls onto the bed first, the comforter made of down feathers, and if he wasn’t so turned on, he would seriously be thinking about falling asleep immediately. But Robert’s hands are on his waist, yanking his bathing suit off of his body, and the look on his face tells Aaron that sleep is the last thing he’s thinking about.
“Do you have any idea…” He shakes his head, reaching out to touch Aaron’ cock, stiff and hard and already leaking. Aaron bucks up into it, groaning low in his throat. “You’re maddening.”
Aaron looks up at him, trying to focus on anything other than the way Robert’s hand feels, pulling him off so slowly, he feels like he’s burning. “Is that a compliment?”
“I don’t know.” He takes his hand away in favor of taking off his own bathing suit, his cock just as hard as Aaron’. “All I know is you’re one of the most stunning people I’ve ever seen and it’s so fucking hard to concentrate on anything whenever I’m with you.”
“Sounds like I’m more of a burden than anything,” he says, trying to play off how his voice cracks in the middle of his sentence. “Or a distraction.”
“But you’re my distraction, and I’m never going to be able to focus on anything else ever again.” He hovers over Aaron, straddling him. “I am perfectly okay with that.”
Aaron has no idea if anything Robert is saying is true or not, and it’s a possibility it’s just because he has him naked and in his bed. Regardless, he’s blushing at ‘ my distraction.’ “Robert,” he says, unable to come up with anything else, anything with substance.
“Baby,” he murmurs, kissing his chest, mouthing over the mark that was left behind from the paintball battle. “So gorgeous.”
His chest is heaving, Robert is rocking on top of him, a light sheen of sweat covering his skin, and if he doesn’t do something other than just lie here and whine out Robert’s name, he’s going to come like this, without Robert actually fucking him. That won’t do.
He sits up, pushing Robert off of him, and flips the switch, Robert laying down, propped up on his elbows. His lips are parted, his green eyes aren’t blinking, and Aaron wants to suck him off, bring him to the edge, wants to prove himself in a way he’s never wanted to before.
He doesn’t say anything before he sinks down, breathing harshly through his nose, making up for what he can’t fit in his mouth with his hand. It’s been awhile since he’s done this, an embarrassing amount of time, but based on the way Robert’s already thrusting his hips upward, breathing uneven and choppy.
Aaron keeps his movements sure and steady, his cheeks sucked in, his hand firm, and he doesn’t know how long he’s been working over Robert before he feels Robert’s thumb dragging across his bottom lip, feeling himself go in and out of Aaron’ mouth.
“Aaron, baby, your mouth is incredible,” he whispers, hips bucking again.
He pulls off all the way, thumbing over the head, Robert jerking in his grip. “You think?” he asks rhetorically, his voice scratchy.
“Unreal. Should have been having sex with you this whole time.”
Aaron pinches his thigh with free hand and Robert glares at him. “Not sure that was an actual possibility, love.”
He groans again when Aaron bends down and licks a stripe up the length of it. “Baby, you’re so good. I need to…” He pushes Aaron off completely, Aaron frowning.
“Just not good enough?”
Robert shakes his head, climbing on top of Aaron, kissing him fervently. “No,” he says against his lips, “ too good. Wanna open you up. Wanna get inside you. You want that?”
Aaron lets his head fall back against the pillow completely. “Yeah, want that.”
He reaches over to pull open the bedside table’s drawer, rummaging, coming up with a packet of lube and a condom, looking back at Aaron. “Is it redundant to say how hot you are?”
He ignores him, eyeing the supplies in his hand. “Did you put those in there or did the network actually do that?”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t want to know.” He swallows. “And yes, it is redundant to say how hot you think I am. It’s enough, Sugden. You’re turning into an honest to God stalker.”
“My ultimate goal.”
He kisses down Aaron’ chest, biting at his stomach, pushing his legs apart, and Aaron braces himself for the first finger. He closes his eyes when Robert slides one in, not wanting his every emotion on his face to be horribly obvious, and relaxes as Robert keeps working into him. He fits in a second, then a third, mouthing at Aaron’ cock and thighs intermittently, and Aaron can’t stop squirming, his stomach clenching and flexing whenever Robert rubs against his prostate. It’s bordering on fucking annoying that he can’t seem to touch anywhere else inside of him, and his cock blurts out more precome. He covers his face with his hands.
“Robert,” he warns, “fucking cut it out.”
“Why, you think you’re ready?”
Aaron sits up, Robert’s fingers still inside him, and reaches out to squeeze Robert’s cock, a little too rough and a little too dry. Robert’s fingers falter and he grunts. “I’m ready, and it seems like you are, too.”
“Jesus, okay.” He pulls his fingers out, reaching for the condom, and rolls it over himself quickly. He starts to situate himself over Aaron, but Aaron kicks him away.
“No. ‘m gonna do it.”
“You’re gonna… Fuck yourself?”
He rolls his eyes. He’s an idiot; Aaron is in love with an idiot. His chest hurts and if he thinks about it too much, he thinks he’ll honestly start to tear up. “You’re so stupid.” He situates and readjusts himself, placing his palms on Robert’s chest. “I wanna ride you.”
Robert grips Aaron’ shoulders. “Yes, I definitely want you to do that.”
“Glad you’re on board.”
“I’d rather have you on board.”
“Oh my God , you can go wank somewhere instead, I’m not having sex with you anymore.”
Robert laughs and rubs his hands up and down Aaron’ sides. “Please, baby.” He bites down on his bottom lip. “I wanna make you feel good, c’mon Aaron.”
Aaron nods, straddling Robert’s hips. “Okay. Don’t rush me.”
“I won’t.” He sits up with his back against the headboard, hands still moving across Aaron’ body.
He takes a few uneven breaths as he lets the head of Robert’s cock start to press into him, and he twists to turn around and look. And Robert’s big - not the biggest he’s ever taken, but he’s definitely going to have to work up to it - so he starts to sink down slowly, his thighs already burning from exertion.
“ Fuck ,” he breathes out, turning back to face Robert again, eyes squeezed shut.
He can feel Robert’s breath against his neck, his chest. “Okay?”
He clears his throat, moving his hips. “Yeah. Just. Been a while since I’ve done this.”
“Do you usually bottom?”
Aaron forces himself to open his eyes and immediately regrets it. Robert’s staring at him like he’s something he absolutely wants to devour, and Aaron’ afraid he might let him. He shakes his head. “Not always. But I want to.”
Robert starts stroking Aaron’ cock, jerking him slowly, bringing him back to full hardness. “You already feel so amazing, Aaron,” he murmurs. “I’ve wanted you for such a long time.”
He lifts himself up and back down, groaning. “Only known me three months, love, couldn’t have been that long,” he grits out.
“Feels like longer. Ah, fuck, baby, you’re so good, so, so good.”
The sting is starting to wear off and change into something pleasurable, something intense and radiating throughout his entire body, and he digs his nails into Robert’s torso, hanging his head down, moving his hips up and down. “Yeah, feels good.”
Robert leans in and kisses him, hands gripping at Aaron’ ass, and Aaron’ body seems to be moving on autopilot. Robert’s pressing up in all the right spots inside of him, making him whine high in his throat, and he has to close his eyes when Robert starts whispering into his ear about how sexy he is, how well he’s taking him, how he doesn’t want this to end.
He’s close, he’s tantalizingly close, especially with the way Robert keeps kissing and biting at his collarbones, but he needs a little bit more to tip him over the edge. He slows his movements, rocking back and forth, gasping when Robert grazes his prostate again.
“Robert…”
Robert meets his gaze, and Christ, Aaron can pretend he’s the only one, especially when Robert’s eyes are locked on him like this. In fact, he doesn’t need to pretend. He’s convinced.
“Baby, ‘m so close,” he whispers, kissing the inside of Aaron’ wrist.
Aaron nods frantically, panting. “I need… I need you to.”
He seems to get it, even with minimal instruction, and helps Aaron slide off, both wincing. “Get on your hands and knees,” he says, voice deeper than usual, and Aaron complies, nearly diving into the pillows in front of him.
He’s shaking, hand around his cock, eyes squeezed shut, when Robert starts to push in, smoothly and surely. Robert’s front is pressed to his back, his breath against his shoulder, and it’s inescapable. Aaron never wants to try to leave, anyway.
He lets Robert handle his body, manipulating him, squeezing him, borderline using him to get off, and Aaron loves it, loves the attention, loves the way Robert can’t stop whimpering out his name. And when Robert pulls out all the way, letting the head catch on the rim, he murmurs, “Can’t believe I’m this lucky,” and Aaron has to push his face all the way into the mattress to prevent himself from saying something completely stupid.
It only takes a few more perfectly aimed thrusts on Robert’s part for Aaron to feel the fire spreading in his abdomen, and Robert can clearly tell he’s close. He drags his hand down the front of Aaron’ throat, pressing down lightly, and just the idea of what Robert’s implying, combined with the way he’s relentlessly slamming into him, has Aaron coming into his hand, heart ready to beat out of his chest.
He’s already sore - doesn’t realize it until after he’s come down from his high - and it, fortunately, only takes Robert a few more thrusts to come, too, Aaron clenching down around him, Robert groaning and his hands squeezing Aaron’ ass impossibly tightly.
He can barely lift his head up, can’t even turn over onto his back, after Robert pulls out, so spent, so utterly satisfied. Instead, he reaches out to grab Robert’s hand, Robert lacing their fingers together instantly.
Neither of them talk, even though Aaron has so much to say; they catch their breath together, Robert pressing kisses to Aaron’ bare shoulder, and after that, everything goes a bit blurry.
Aaron wakes up around three in the morning for no apparent reason. His entire body aches, a good ache, though, and Robert is sound asleep next to him, hair sweeping across his forehead. Aaron can’t not touch, has to, and Robert doesn’t stir, breathing still steady and even.
He slides over across the mattress, pulling Robert’s arm on top of him, rubbing his hand up and down his forearm, playing with the barely there hair. He’s warm, so warm that Aaron has to kick off the covers, grunting, and that’s when Robert cracks open his eyes.
“What are you doing.”
“I got bored.”
“You got bored at…” he looks over at the clock on the nightstand. “Three in the morning?”
Aaron nods. “Yeah, entertain me.”
“I’d rather entertain the idea of sleep.”
“Boring. Wake up and talk to me.”
Robert sighs, knowing he’s lost. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Umm.” He licks his lips. “Tell me something that you think I’d find interesting, but never said it before because cameras are always around.”
“Your ass is amazing and I’ve wanted to eat you out since day one,” he replies without hesitation.
Aaron blushes. “Harold, good God, have some decency.”
He laughs. “Alright, fine.” He tucks Aaron’ hair behind his ear, thinking. “One time, I had a dream I was a dolphin trainer, so for four years, I made my mom send me to biology camp. And then I found out that these kind of places are typically fairly abusive to their animals and I cried about it for two months.”
He pats Robert on the back. “That’s cute. Why couldn’t you say that on camera?”
“Because it’s embarrassing.”
“ All 8-year-olds love the ocean, Robert.”
“I was 18.”
Aaron bursts out laughing. “Okay, yeah, that’s embarrassing.”
“Fuck off, your turn, you tell me something.”
“Hm.” He keeps tracing along Robert’s arm, watching goosebumps rise. “I’m allergic to bananas but I still eat them everyday, anyway.”
“What the hell, why would you keep eating them?”
“Because they’re delicious,” he says, like Robert is stupid.
“What happens when you eat them?!”
“Nothing bad, my tongue just kind of hurts.”
“Wow, you’re a dumbass.”
“And that’s why I didn’t say it on camera.”
They go back and forth for a while, talking about things they’ve been keeping hidden for the past 12 weeks, eventually diving into deeper territory, like biggest fears, goals, dreams. And they end up talking all night, whispering to one another, and Aaron knows now would be a good time to bring up Nathan, about the backstory to his messy freak out, about everything. But Robert is looking at him like he’s the only thing that matters, and Aaron can’t bring himself to speak, too afraid to destroy how safe he feels.
He has his neck burrowed into the crook of Robert’s neck, watching Robert trace along the freckles and bruises and marks on his stomach.
“Mmm, what are you doing,” he asks.
“Connecting the dots,” he says. “Feel nice?”
Aaron nods. “Yeah, feels nice.”
“It’s like you have constellations on you.”
He looks down. “I guess so.”
Robert’s movements pause briefly, and then he starts laughing. “You’re my Little Dipper.”
Aaron punches him on the arm. “That was the ugliest thing you have ever said, I’m serious.”
He’s still laughing. “I can’t call you that in public?”
“Not if you want to see the sun rise!”
But then the sun actually does start rising, and before they know it, the crew is knocking at their door, telling Robert to get up and get ready. Aaron hangs onto him like a koala, playing dead weight, and Robert laughs. It’s all good, all so deliriously, perfect.
“Seriously, Robert, get up. We have to start getting the room ready for your overnight with Cam.”
Aaron thinks his heart just about stops beating, and that’s the phrase he needed to slap himself back to reality, to climb out of bed and yank on his still soaking wet bathing suit. It reeks and he doesn’t care.
Robert can clearly tell he’s bothered by it; he grips his wrists and tugs him into his arms. “I don’t want you to leave,” he mumbles into his hair. He says it so sincerely that Aaron believes him, and somehow, that makes it worse.
It’s hot out, the breeze making it feel more all the more comfortable, and the waves crashing on the shore are inviting, serene and calming. But Aaron ignores all of it and climbs into bed, pulling the covers up to his ears, trying not to focus on the fact that Robert has two more overnight dates this week, which his mind conveniently blocked out. Robert might sleep with them, too. He might kiss and touch and fuck them just like he fucked Aaron last night.
Aaron squeezes his eyes tight and stays in bed until an hour before the next rose ceremony, screaming at his mind the entire time to shut the hell up.
Aaron and Cam are standing side by side, the sounds of the birds tweeting noisily in the distance, and it’s obvious that Bryce is missing. He has the feeling Robert sent him home during their date, and when Robert and Chris step out together in front of them, the look on their faces are confirmation of Aaron’ theory.
Robert clasps his hands together. “Today was a great week, but at the same time, it was also really difficult. Getting to be with each of you and having so much alone time was phenomenal, and I’m really exciting about this upcoming week. But I had to send Bryce home. We both knew it wasn’t right, and I had to be fair, instead of dragging him into another rose ceremony. It wasn’t easy, by any means.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m happy and confident with the two people standing in front of me. With that being said…” He picks up the first rose. “Cameron, will you accept this rose?”
Cam nods and steps forward, Robert attaching the rose to his shirt. They hug and Cam rejoins Aaron.
“Aaron. Will you accept this rose?”
“Yeah, I will.” He lets Robert put the rose on his jacket, pissed that Lydia made him wear something so heavy in the 4,000 degree weather, and Robert smiles when it’s attached. He takes a flute of champagne off of the tray and hands it to Cam, handing the second one to Aaron, keeping the third for himself.
“Later this week, my family is coming to town, and I’m over the moon that you both finally get to meet them.” He holds up his champagne glass. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” Aaron and Cam echo, and Aaron drains the glass in two sips.
He’s about to meet the family.
“Aaron, if you stare at yourself any longer in the mirror, your reflection is going to start talking back to you.”
He rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m the fairest of them all, and I would like the confirmation.”
Lydia smiles. “You look hot, I promise.”
“I don’t want to look hot. I want to look like a decent and upstanding citizen. Lyd.” He makes a face. “I’m meeting Robert’s family today.”
“Are you nervous?”
“ Nooo, I just felt like changing my outfit 37 times in the span of eight minutes.”
“Okay, no need to be snippy, Aaron. I’m just asking.”
He frowns. “What if they don’t like me.”
“They’re going to like you.”
“What if they like Cam more?”
She shrugs. “They probably will. His style is effortless.”
“Okay, you massively suck.”
Lydia laughs, squeezing his arm. “I’m teasing. Be yourself. But not too much.”
He pats his hair down, flicking it out of his eyes. “You never fail to give me the best pep talks, you know that?”
“I try.”
“But seriously. Families play such a significant factor in how you might end up feeling about someone. If Robert’s family doesn’t like me…”
“If Robert’s family doesn’t like you, he still will. He makes his own choices, and so far, every choice has led to you.”
Aaron twists his fingers together. “Not just me.”
“No, not just you,” she agrees. “But you’re still here because of how Robert feels, not because of his family.”
“Fuck. I’m just scared. I feel like Robert and I are a little unsteady, at this point, and, like, should I seriously be this nervous at the very end of this whole thing? Shouldn’t I be feeling more confident?”
“That’s enough , Aaron. You shouldn’t feel unsteady. Everything is going to go fabulously, just as long as you don’t do anything horrible, you’re going to be fine.”
“So, I shouldn’t, like, punch any of them in the face or anything?”
She pretends to think about it. “You can probably do that, as long as you change your shirt again. Not your best.”
He laughs. “Okay, piss off.”
She pinches his cheek and he bats her hands away. “I’ll see you down at the beach. Have fun today, okay? You only get to meet the family once, and I can tell how important this is to you.”
“It is,” he confirms.
“Enjoy it.”
He nods. “I’ll try.”
It’s hot, too hot for the outfit he wanted to wear, and he’s all out of sorts because of it as he makes his way down the beach, shielding the sun with his hand, a bouquet of flowers for Robert’s mum in the other.
He knows Cam met them the day before, and he has no idea how it went, but he can imagine it was nothing but lovely, seeing as Cam is hilarious and polite and beautiful - damnit, Cameron - and he wants to hate him for that, even a little bit.
He can’t, though, and that’s even more annoying than the way his shirt is already sticking to his back and shoulders.
Damnit, Cameron.
He pushes Cam out of his mind and, instead, focuses on trying not to sweat through his dress shirt, and the sun is so bright, he nearly misses Robert coming up the walkway to meet him, waving and smiling.
“You look incredible,” he says, kissing Aaron on the cheek.
Aaron wipes the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. “Okay, seriously, is it 150 degrees?”
Robert laughs. “Feels like it.”
“Jesus, I think I already have pit stains and your mum and sister’s flowers are wilting and I’m so thirsty and--”
“Aaron, relax.” He touches the back of Aaron’ hand. “You look gorgeous and the flowers are perfect and my family is already crazy about you because they can tell I am. I promise. You can calm down.”
Aaron nods, leaning in to wrap his arms around Robert. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
He smells good, like soap and cologne and something else, something Aaron can’t put his finger on. Whatever it is, it’s a familiar, comfortable feeling, and it makes him feel safe. He squeezes Robert tighter before pulling back. “Alright. I’m a bit better now.”
“Okay. Good.” He squints against the sun. “You said you’re thirsty? Let’s get you a drink.”
Aaron exhales. “Perfect. Oh, and Robert?”
“Mhm?”
“You look brilliant, too, love.”
Robert smiles, deep rooted and genuine, and Aaron can just about feel his own body go slack, tension falling away.
The crew set up a BBQ outside of the enclosed hut just off of the beach - air conditioned, thank God - and Aaron can smell the burgers and hot dogs cooking before he can actually see it.
“Hey, Lydia, can we actually eat this?”
She rolls her eyes. “ Yes, Aaron. We can’t starve Robert’s family.”
“Well, you could…” He trails off as Robert grabs his hand, guiding him down the path to the hut.
“Vic is really eager to met you.”
“Just Vic?”
“Nah, the others don’t care, so much.”
“Oh, that’s nice, Robert.”
He laughs. “I’m kidding, but Vic really is exceptionally excited.”
“Any reason in particular?”
“I told her that you two remind me a lot of each other. Sarcastic and witty and smart and compassionate. She wants to meet her rival.”
“Her rival, huh?”
“Yeah, you two are gonna duel.”
Aaron smirks. “I mean, I’m not going to let her win…”
“I didn’t doubt it.”
They reach the hut’s doors and Aaron can see his family through the glass, the three of them sitting there, drinking wine, Sarah laughing at something Robin is saying. He almost feels intrusive, walking in on their private family moment, but then Robert is pushing him through the door and he doesn’t have much more time to dwell on it.
Sarah, Robin, and Vic all turn to the sound of Robert and Aaron entering the room and they stand up immediately, Vic’s smile warm and Sarah’s arms outstretched for a hug before Aaron can even shut the door behind him.
“It’s so good to meet you,” she says, arms wrapped tight around him. It reminds Aaron of a hug his own mum would give, and he squeezes his eyes shut at that thought.
“You, too,” he replies. “I’ve heard so many incredible things about your entire family. Oh, I have flowers for you.”
“They’re beautiful, thank you, Aaron.”
They pull apart, and Aaron hands her the flowers, then going in for the handshake with Robin. He turns to Robert’s sister. “Vic,” he says, eyes narrowed.
She smirks. “Aaron.”
“I hear we’re rivals.”
“I hear that, as well.”
“May the best competitor win.”
“You’re on.”
Robert rolls his eyes. “I take it back. I don’t want you to meet them. One of you is enough. I don’t need you both ganging up on me.”
“Oh, excellent point, Harold.” He looks back to Vic. “Our combined powers could really ruin his day.”
She bursts out laughing and looks at Robert. “Yup. This one. I pick this one.”
“Yeah, well, he’s mine.”
“Nope, not anymore. Aaron, let’s go get food. You like burgers?”
“ Love burgers.”
“Excellent.”
They head out the door and Vic is laughing but he can still manage to hear Sarah say, “Robert, he’s hilarious. I’ve known him for 15 seconds and I can tell how well you fit together.”
Robert replies, “Yeah, he’s my best friend,” and the way he says it with such confidence and clarity has Aaron actively forcing himself to not lay down face first on the grill.
All five of them indulge in too much delicious food, Aaron piling his plate high with corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, steak plus a cheeseburger, and a spoonful or two of fruit salad. It’s all amazing, some of the best food Aaron has had in weeks, but he’s barely able to eat any of it, too invested in his conversation with Robert’s family.
They talk about his siblings, his job, his life in London, his life in Chicago, and his favorite part of the journey with Robert so far. They steer clear of his last relationship, though, and Aaron assumes Robert said something to them ahead of time.
Aaron places his plate of food down on the coffee table in front of him and puts his elbows on his knees. “Well, I can tell you my least favorite part of this whole thing so far.” He goes on to explain the bridge climbing excursion, and the way he tells the story has everyone in hysterics, Robert included.
“Okay, you make it sound so much worse than it really was!” he argues.
“Nope, I’m pretty sure it was that bad.”
“The views were amazing , Aaron. You can’t pretend it wasn’t gorgeous.”
“The only view I remember from that day is the view of the inside of my eyelids.”
“Okay, that’s enough out of you. Eat your couscous.”
“My what?”
Robert points to the pile of mashed potatoes on his plate. “Couscous. Why… What’d you think it was?”
Aaron’ eyes go wide, not about to admit that he thought couscous was Goddamn potatoes. “No, I know it’s couscous. Jesus.” He takes a giant bite of it, hating every second of the taste and texture, but to prove a point, swallows and takes another spoonful. “My favorite.”
Robert looks annoyingly amused, as he can clearly tell Aaron is lying through his teeth, but keeps playing along, anyway. “Since you like it so much, let me grab your plate and get your some more. There’s a ton left out there.”
Aaron grabs Robert’s arm before he has the chance to stand up and whispers into his ear, “You know, it’s not too late to send myself home.”
He smiles, trying to hold back his laughter. “Yeah, as if I’d allow you to leave me at this point. I’m in it to win it, Dingle. Finish the rest of your couscous, you dick.”
They talk for hours, and it never feels forced, never uncomfortable, and at the end of the evening as Aaron sips at his white wine, he’s vaguely aware that this is what Christmas Eve or Thanksgiving could feel like, kids running around and holiday music playing, and he is so, so fucked.
Robert gets up to walk Aaron back to his hotel, and Aaron makes his way around the room, hugging each family member, telling them all that he truly enjoyed them and can’t wait to see them again - or hopes to, anyway.
Vic stops him as he leans in for a hug. “No, come with me first.”
He doesn't question it, just follows her onto the terrace outside, looking over his shoulder behind him to look at Robert. Robert shrugs, obviously confused, too.
It’s not as hot now that the sun has gone down completely, but it’s still sticky, and Aaron slaps away a mosquito. “What’s up?”
She crosses her arms across her chest. “From what I just saw in there, my brother is absolutely crazy about you.”
Aaron’ stomach clenches. “I’d like to think so.” The understatement of the year.
“I know everyone always says you never want to fuck up a relationship with someone who has a brother, because brothers will threaten to break your bones if you hurt their sibling. But dating someone with a sister is significantly worse, and I’ll tell you why.” She stares directly at him, eyes unblinking. “Girls don’t go for the physical threats. No. They go for vengeance. They go for payback. And they are relentless.”
Aaron nods, swallowing. “I know. I have five sisters. They’re all horrible.”
She smiles slightly at that. “If you break my brother’s heart, you will be sorry you ever met him, and that’s a guarantee.”
He nods again. “Vic?”
“What.”
“Thank you for sharing him with me.”
Her demeanor softens at that. “I’m gonna feel like a real jackass if he ends up picking Cameron because I’m admitting this on national TV and everyone’s going to see it but Christ, I hope he picks you.”
Aaron laughs. “I hope so, too.”
“Come here.”
He goes in for the hug, patting her twice on the back. “He’s lucky he has you.”
“Funny, he doesn’t seem to feel that way, but I’ll let him know you think so.”
They walk back inside together, Robert talking quietly to Sarah, and they both stop talking when Aaron and Vic reappear.
“I’ll walk you out?” Robert says.
Aaron shrugs. “Yeah, I guess it’s about that time.”
He says his last round of goodbye’s to Robert’s family before he leads him back outside, walking hand in hand up the stone path back to Aaron’ hotel room.
Robert traces his thumb across Aaron’ knuckles. “They liked you.”
“I liked them, too.”
“No, they really liked you. Like, they might try to make you their son, instead.”
He smiles. “Might have to have your mum call my mum first, to see if it’s okay.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
He hums in agreement, content to listen to the waves lapping on the beach, content to let Robert keep drawing nameless patterns across the back of his hand.
Aaron clears his throat, nervous. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, if you’re uncomfortable.”
“I won’t be uncomfortable.”
“Okay.” They stop in front of Aaron’ hotel room door, Robert waiting patiently. “Did you…” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Did you sleep with either Cam or Bryce on your overnight date?”
Robert smiles. “No, Aaron.”
He lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Okay.”
“Is that it?”
“Yeah, for now.”
The way they’re both standing there, staring at each other, reminds Aaron so much of a first date, nerves in the pit of his stomach and all. Robert’s looking at him like he wants to say something, expression so, so serious.
“What?”
Robert licks his lips and shakes his head and in the end, doesn’t say anything, just kisses him, hands cupping Aaron’ jaw instantly, thumbs brushing his cheekbones.
Aaron tries to get every thought and word he has on the tip of his tongue across through the kiss, fingertips digging into Robert’s shoulders, and neither of them have breathed a word in nearly two minutes, but he has the feeling Robert can hear him, anyway.
They break apart at the same time, Aaron resting his head on Robert’s chest, listening to his heart beat. Robert drags his hands up and down Aaron’ back, spelling out secrets and fears.
Neither of them have said ‘I love you,’ but right now, in this very moment, Aaron can feel it; he knows.
He sleeps better than he has in a month.
The day after he meets Robert’s family, Aaron is sitting in the interview room, hands clasped together in his lap.
“Tomorrow is the big day. The proposal.” He swallows. “Or not.”
Lydia’s voice comes from behind a camera. “Do you feel better about what happened with you and Robert?”
He shrugs. “Yes and no. We haven’t really addressed it since, and I do want to tell him the entire story, I want him to know. It’s just.” He picks at a loose thread on his shorts. “Not the right time. Basically, I’m a big, fat chicken.” He forces out a fake smile, and he knows it looks more like a grimace than anything. “A lot of things have been unexpected, since being on the show, yeah? I didn’t expect to make a new best friend, and have him here at the finale with me. Knowing that either Cam or myself will end up heartbroken is the shittiest thing I can comprehend, really. I didn’t expect to become this invested this quickly.
“Do you love Robert?”
His eyes well up with tears. “So much. He makes me so crazy.”
“And you haven’t told him yet?”
“No.”
“Do you have a reason for that?”
“I don’t want to look like a fool again, Lydia. The last time I poured my heart out to someone in a situation like this, I found myself single and devastated and betrayed.”
“I think you need to put your pride away, Aaron. What if Robert thinks you truly, genuinely don’t love him because you haven’t been able to voice it? Jesus, Aaron, this is different. He’s different. Robert isn’t your ex.”
Aaron nods. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” He stands up and walks out of view of the camera, but he knows the mics pick it up when he says, “Okay, I need your help with something.”
The morning of the proposal, Aaron’ entire body is wracked with nerves. He can’t think straight, can’t manage to hold down breakfast. Cam has, for sure, told Robert that he loves him. Robert might have even said it back. Who knows.
He’s royally screwed, all because he couldn’t spit out the words I love you that have been on the tip of his tongue for weeks.
He dresses slowly, stepping into the dress pants provided by the network, and he can’t believe it’s so fucking hot outside. The camera crew walks in as he starts buttoning up his shirt, already starting to sweat.
“Hey, Aaron, you almost ready?” Lydia asks.
He nods. “Yeah, I think so. Do I have to do an interview beforehand?”
“Yup. We’ll try to make it quick. Robert’s already on his way down there.”
Aaron swallows. “Alright, let’s do it then. Can’t keep that boy waiting.”
“Don’t forget, you don’t get to keep that suit. Leave it in your hotel room after the proposal.”
“I would ask you if you’re kidding, but at this point, I know better.”
Aaron follows Lydia outside and squints in the sunlight. It’s probably an additional 30 degrees hotter in the sun than inside his villa, and he tugs at his tie uncomfortably. He waits as they set up the camera and attach his mic on the inside of his jacket - a ritual he is now way too familiar with - and can’t believe how on edge he feels. He blows his hair out of his eyes, even though it’s styled up into a quiff. Nervous habit, and all that.
“Aaron,” Lydia begins, clipboard in hand as usual, “how’d you wake up feeling this morning? Complete sentences.”
He waves his hand around; he knows the drill. “I woke up this morning feeling extremely anxious. I have a lot of things I want to say to him but.” He shrugs. “Some things need to be private, and that’s hard to come by when you’re being filmed about 90% of the day.” He rolls his neck, muscles stiff with tension. “He doesn’t know I love him. I told everyone else before I told him, because I’m sick with pride and couldn’t get my head out of my ass long enough to tell him. And that’s. That’s a huge problem. I’m going into this with a lot of doubt in my mind, and I’m sure Robert feels the same way. Shit, I hope he doesn’t.” He clears his throat and looks down at the ground. The dirt is damp, even though it’s dry as hell out here. When did the crew actually manage to spray down the lot? Jesus Christ. “To be clear, I don’t have doubt about how I feel; rather, I have doubt that Robert doesn’t know . And that this is all ending. The idea of him telling me he doesn’t want me and he’s going to propose to Cam instead makes me want to drown myself in the ocean.”
The camera guy stops the camera. “Perfect, man. We’re all set.”
He nods and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Can we go get this over with?”
Lydia laughs. “Much faith you have.”
“Oh, so much.”
“Follow me; the van will take you down to Robert.”
Deep breaths. “Okay.”
The ride is probably no more than five minutes, but it’s long enough for Aaron to think about jumping out onto the open highway four times, long enough for him to feel carsick, and when the van rolls to a stop, Aaron is about one second away from demanding a bucket to vomit into.
He walks down the path slowly, trying not to kick up dirt as to not mess up his suit, and he avoids his gaze with the camera man walking just in front of him. He expects there are many more down at the scene, though, and he braces himself for it.
The first thing Aaron notices about the final location is how intimate it is. There aren’t nearly as many crew members as he thought there would be, and though the ones that are there are all filming him, capturing his reaction and taking shots of the scene itself, it feels less invasive than it has in the prior weeks of relentless and constant recording. For some reason, the fact that this feels more private makes him more anxious.
The second thing he notices is Robert, standing several yards away in the center of a gazebo overlooking the ocean. He hasn’t seen them since after their visit with Robert’s family, and the nerves in his stomach kick up violently. If he doesn’t focus, he honestly might stop breathing completely. And then their eyes lock and Robert smiles. It helps for a moment. But Aaron knows him well enough to know that his smile is a nervous one, and it makes Aaron feel simultaneously better and worse; better because they’re in the same boat, worse because Robert might be nervous for different reasons than Aaron is.
He slowly makes his way over to the gazebo, his knees shaking and threatening to give out completely, and he’s aware that he sounds out of breath, just from a bit of walking. He has never been this tense and anxious. Ever. Not when he moved from London to Chicago, not when he was involved in that bloody car accident his first year of driving, not when he found out he’d been cheated on for an entire year.
Nothing compares to this, and he wants it all so badly, he could start crying.
He inhales and exhales and steps up onto the gazebo, breath hitching in his throat when he finally gets a good, long look at Robert. He looks positively breathtaking. His three-piece suit fits him like a glove, his hair is loose and swept out of his face, and the already present tears in his eyes make the green of his irises even bolder. He needs to tell Robert how beautiful he is, inside and out, and he feels lucky to know him, even if this is where their story ends.
Fuck, this better not be where their story ends, but it might be too late, and Aaron feels like there are rocks settling in the pit of his stomach.
Robert reaches for Aaron’ hands and brushes his thumb along his knuckles. “Hi,” he murmurs.
Aaron smiles and looks down. “Hi, back.”
“You look stunning.”
“You’re one to talk. I can’t even look directly at you. It’s like looking into the sun.”
Robert laughs, his grip tightening around Aaron’ hands. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
The look on Robert’s face is one that Aaron wants to keep safe forever. “No. I don’t,” he replies, much more solemnly. His hands are trembling, still locked with Aaron’. “Okay. I’m. Okay. I need to start talking before I explode.”
Aaron nods. “Go ahead, love.”
Robert’s eyes well up again. “I have always been a happy person. I’ve never had many complaints. My family is incredible, my friends are amazing, my job is so rewarding… But I’d never had a real love, you know? I’d never been with someone who could turn my brain into mush, as well as be my best friend. And then last year, I found that. Or at least, I thought I did.” He pauses, his tears spilling over. “God, this is scary. All of this is so scary.”
Aaron squeezes Robert’s hands. “Take your time, R. You’re doing so well.”
Robert nods, taking a steadying breath. “It was really hard to move on from that. Like, that was my first time ever being in love. I was so skeptical to do this show all over again, because I left with a broken heart the first time, and I didn’t want to repeat it. I was so scared. But then I found someone who made me feel so safe, so secure, and any anxieties I had before were just… Gone. I jumped head first into this and never looked back.
“I don’t know in depth about your past relationships, but I’d never been with anyone who makes me excited to wake up in the morning just so I can get to them sooner. I’d never been with someone who seems to understand me from a single look. I’d never been with someone who drives me up a Goddamn wall, but at the same time, I want to push them up against that stupid wall and kiss them senseless.”
Aaron lets out a watery laugh. “Not sure you should say that on TV.”
“What, I can’t say it but I can actually do it?”
He laughs again. “You have a point.”
Robert swallows, gaze steady. “Have you ever been with someone like that before?”
Aaron looks up, locking eyes. “Once. I did, one time.” But it doesn’t even compare to this, and I’m not sure how that’s possible.
He nods. “Then you know how it feels.”
“I really do.”
“Aaron.” He takes a step closer and he’s really crying now. “I am the luckiest person on this planet because I found someone who surpassed every single dream I’ve ever had. It’s like… I called my mom during week five and I said, ‘It’s like this guy was created specifically to be with me.’ My missing piece, she called it. And that’s all I’ve been able to think about ever since. I found my missing piece.”
Aaron’ almost positive he’s sweating through his suit. “Robert, I have so much I want to say to you…”
“Wait, let me finish. I’m almost done.”
He licks his lips; his throat is suddenly extremely dry. “Okay.”
“I fell in love on this show twice, but the second time is the only time that matters. I am so in this, so invested, and 12 weeks ago, I met the man I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I never doubted that he was the one, not even for a second.”
Aaron holds his breath; he might pass out. “Not for a second?”
“No.” Robert’s entire body is wracked with tremors, his voice weak when he says, “Unfortunately, I found that with someone else.”
All Aaron can hear is static, white noise. He tries to let go of Robert’s hands, can’t believe this is happening. Again . It’s a fucking nightmare, this moment, and he doesn’t sound like himself when he forces himself to speak. “What?”
Robert’s face is blotchy, tears streaking down his cheeks, and then the bastard fucking smiles. “And that’s what I told Cam yesterday when we both decided it would be best if he went home.” His voice cracks on the last word, and he cups Aaron’ jaw in his hands. “I’ve been so set in my decision for so long that I knew it wouldn’t be fair to keep him here until the very last moment. I couldn’t do that to him. So, I sat down with him and I told him everything, about how in love with you I am, and he didn’t even hesitate when he said, ‘I know. I was waiting for this conversation because it’s so obvious that you two are meant to be together.’ Aaron .”
Aaron is torn between mounting him right then and there or punching him directly in the throat. “That was the meanest thing you’ve ever done.”
Robert lets his hands slide from Aaron’ face, down to his shoulders, to his chest. He keeps them there, gripping at his lapels. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re not, though,” he croaks.
He smiles again, still clutching at Aaron’ chest. “Aaron. If we hadn’t met on this show, I know I’d be looking for you somewhere else. I think I’ve been searching for you my entire life. I just didn’t know it until I met you. My mom was right. You’re my missing piece.” He lets his hands drop from Aaron’ body entirely. “And then when she met you… She said there was no comparison. Aaron. You’re it. I want to keep you safe forever.”
Aaron whines high in his throat. “Are you sure?”
“Am I sure?” Robert’s bottom lip quivers. “I knew how Cam felt about me. I knew that Cam was fully in this, that he loved me. He told me so many times. And you never have. But.” He’s crying harder, now, and so is Aaron. “I’m still choosing you, Aaron. That’s how confident I am that we’re supposed to be together, even without you ever verbalizing how you feel, if you’re in love with me. Just the idea of you telling me that you love me makes me feel a thousand times crazier than actually hearing someone else say it out loud. That’s how I know, that’s how I’m sure. I’m banking on a future with you, one that isn’t certain, because I can feel it whenever we’re together. I know I’m not insane.” He runs his fingers through his curls, getting them tangled at the ends. “I’m a logical guy. I use my brain, I don’t rely on fate or signs to make decisions. I’ve never used the term soulmate because I don’t think that’s real. But all of a sudden, I’ve turned into the world’s biggest sap. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you make me crazy. ”
Aaron vaguely remembers saying something very similar in one of his interviews, not very long ago. He nods in response, lump in his throat, because he definitely understands.
“You have to choose me back, though. I can’t be in this alone.”
He searches Robert’s face for any sign that he’s joking. He isn’t. And Aaron is dumbfounded that Robert has been just as uneasy as Aaron has been, that he hasn’t been as transparent as he thought. “Do you really think I would ever be stupid enough to walk away from this? Do you have any idea how in love with you I am?”
Robert closes his eyes briefly and smiles, reaching out for Aaron’ hands. “Can you say it again, please?”
Aaron shakes Robert’s hands away, wrapping his arms around his neck, instead. “I love you. I love you. You drive me mad and you have the world’s most unattainable hair and you pour the milk into the bowl before the cereal and I’m working on how I can live with that and nothing else really matters and I love you. ” He buries his head against Robert’s chest, murmuring it one more time when he can hear how loudly Robert’s heart is beating.
“Aaron.” He gently nudges Aaron away, reaching into the pocket on the inside of his jacket. He pulls out a small box and Aaron has to hold onto Robert’s elbow to steady himself. “Nothing makes more sense than when I’m with you. You are everything I’ve ever wanted, and more, and you inspire me to be a better version of myself. I’m the luckiest. I really am.”
He starts to sink to one knee, and Aaron holds out his hands. “Wait.”
Robert pauses. “Why. What are you doing.”
Aaron’ entire body is shaking as he reaches into his own pocket, pulling out a similar looking box. He looks up at Robert, barely able to see him through his blurred vision. “R…”
“Aaron, what are you doing,” he repeats, voice trembling. “I’m supposed to be the one to do this.”
He nods. “I know. Just. I don’t play by the rules.”
Robert chokes back a sob. “I think I’ve heard that before.”
“Yeah, I think so, too.” He lowers himself down onto his left knee, and he can’t open the fucking box. He laughs in frustration, trying to get rid of the tremors.
Robert kneels down in front of him. “Here, give me the box. I’ll open it.”
“Worst proposal ever,” Aaron says, handing over the box.
“I wholeheartedly disagree.” He peers inside. “Jesus, Aaron, this is stunning.”
Aaron nods. “I think I looked at rings for four hours. The jeweler hates me.” He laughs nervously, touching his quiff, making sure it isn’t a complete mess. “I think there’s doubt in every relationship, yeah? I wanted to trust you, to trust us, but in a situation like ours, one that’s so messy and complicated and unusual, it’s impossible to not have doubts.”
Robert nods. “I understand that.”
“But I know you’re crazy about me,” he continues. “I’m obsessed with you, too. Obviously.” He tries to wink, but he’s pretty sure it comes out more like a twitch, and Robert laughs. “I’m not letting you propose to me because I wanted to be the one to do it. I wanted to to show you that I’m in love with you, that I’m not doubting us anymore. I am confident in how I feel about you, in how you feel about me, in our future together, regardless of how long I’ve been biting my tongue, afraid to tell you before. And regardless of whether or not you told me you loved me, I was going to propose. I had to. I had to make sure you fucking knew.”
Robert is breathing heavily, shoulders shaking. “I love you, too,” he answers simply.
His heart honestly might stop beating entirely. “We’ve been on a lot of journeys together so far, but the best one is yet to come, and I can’t believe I get to go on it with you,” he says, shaking his head. “I want our journey to continue in Leeds. I know I freaked out before, and totally lost my mind, but I want to move. I want to make my home with you there. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since you first brought it up, and in my mind and my heart, I know it’s what we need to do.”
He sniffles. “You don’t have to do that, Aaron, you really don’t. We can talk about it some more.”
“No. I don’t have to move. But I want to. As long as you’ll have me there.”
He nods frantically, smiling. “Yes, God, I’ll have you.”
Aaron laughs. “It’ll be exciting. Like you said, I’ve done it before. And look how it turned out. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Why wouldn’t I want to do something like that again? And this time, with you ?” He grabs Robert’s hand before he can completely chicken out, his voice a tiny whisper when he asks, “Robert. Will you marry me?” His eyes dart across Robert’s face, and can’t believe he’s still this fucking nervous.
Robert nods, can’t even get the words out, just kneels there and cries; in fact, both of them are. Aaron’ face is nearly dripping in sweat, his head hurt from crying, and he’s vaguely aware that there’s a camera extremely close to his face, but then Robert’s mouth is on his and it’s sloppy and too much teeth and it’s fucking perfect and he doesn’t care about anything else other than Robert.
Robert pulls back and slips the ring onto his finger and when he whispers into his ear how much he loves him, Aaron can’t do anything other than hold on tightly and whisper his own words back, voice weak and cheeks damp and so, so happy.
It’s the messiest proposal ever, snot and tears and Aaron’ pretty sure his knee is bleeding from kneeling on a rock on the ground, but it’s better than anything he could have come up with in his own head and Jesus Christ, he’s the luckiest.
That evening, they sit and watch a display of fireworks, apparently in their honor, courtesy of the network, and halfway through it, Aaron nudges Robert.
“This is the cheesiest shit I’ve ever seen.”
“It was either that or a hot air balloon ride at sunset.”
Aaron’ eyes go wide. “Yeah, good choice.”
Robert laughs. “I thought so, too.” He pulls Aaron closer up against his side. “You know how I said we had to choose each other, and that it’s not a one way street?”
He nods. “Mhm.”
A particularly loud boom from a firework goes off, making them both jump. Robert clears his throat. “Am I allowed to ask you if you’ll choose me back?”
Aaron rolls his eyes but he’s fucking tearing up. When the hell did he get so soft? “Are you proposing to me after I already proposed to you?” He gestures up at the sky. “Under a Goddamn firework display?”
Robert smiles. “Yes. I am. Got a ring and everything.”
“Well, I should hope so. Otherwise, what were you planning on doing when you got down on one knee this morning, if you were empty handed?”
He laughs. “Aaron, c’mon!”
Aaron laughs, too. “Yes, I’ll marry you back.”
“Good answer.” Robert pulls the ring out of his pocket, and it’s not something Aaron would have ever chosen for himself, and it’s better . “Hey.” He kisses the back of Aaron’ hand. “I love you.”
Aaron sighs happily, letting Robert slip the ring on his finger. “Hey. I love you, too.”
They don’t have to leave Fiji until tomorrow morning, and Aaron knows he should get some sleep; the flight will be long and he’s drained from the day’s activities. But if there’s the opportunity to have newly engaged sex with his fianc é, he’s going to take it.
It’s so different than the last time they were together. It’s slow, it’s deliberate, it’s drawn out, and Aaron’ body is screaming from how good it is. Robert opens him up slowly, kissing him over and over again, Aaron not bothering to stifle his moans. It’s been an overwhelming day, and his body is riddled with energy, desperate for anything Robert will give him.
He rocks into Aaron slowly, hovering over him, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and he hasn’t looked away from Aaron’ face once. Aaron’ thighs keep shaking, breath hitching, and he rakes his fingers down Robert’s chest, loving the way the marks scream his.
“Aaron,” Robert murmurs, “baby, I love you.”
Aaron wants to kick him in the face for that. “I’m close, I don’t wanna come yet.”
Robert smirks and drives his hips in deeper. “I can’t even stand how much I love you.”
“Stop it.”
“I’m gonna marry you. I’m so fucking lucky that I get to keep you.” Robert groans when Aaron clenches down. “So beautiful, baby, so gorgeous.”
“Shut up. ” He tries to think about anything else than Robert’s dumb fucking voice and his stupid words but he’s inching closer and closer towards his orgasm, and he’s having trouble warding it off any longer.
Robert breathes out deeply through his nose. “It’s such a sense of calmness with you, Aaron,” he continues. “All I feel is peace knowing you’re mine and I’m yours.”
“Robert…” he warns.
“Come on, come for me. Do it.” He reaches up and locks their hands together, and Aaron can feel the metal from Robert’s ring against his own skin.
“ Fuck ,” he hisses out, coming all over his stomach, holding onto Robert as tightly as he can.
“That’s it, baby,” Robert says, his voice hushed, and he picks up the pace, coming less than a minute later with Aaron’ name on his lips.
Later, when they’re wrapped up within each other later, long after their sweat has cooled and they’ve eaten all the snacks in the mini fridge, Robert cranks the AC and jumps into the bed, pulling the comforter up to their necks.
Aaron sighs. “You could just, like, not turn the AC up so high.”
“Well, that’s just a terrible idea.”
“Oh, right, how stupid of me.” He twists his engagement ring under the blanket, already used to the feeling of the metal against his finger. “We did it, R.”
Robert’s eyes are already closed, but he smiles. “That we did.”
The next morning, they wake up early to catch their flight, and Robert looks over as Aaron loads his last items into his suitcase.
“What are you folding?”
Aaron looks down at the suit he wore at the proposal. “My suit?”
“ Your suit?”
“Yeah, it is now.” He tosses it into the bag, zipping it up. “Alright, let’s make moves, Sugden.”
What Lydia doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
They fly to Leeds separately, as to not give away the final results of the show in case anyone sees or recognizes them, and when Aaron touches down late that Thursday night with a suitcase full of clothes in one hand and his cat’s carrier in the other, it doesn’t feel like he’s just left his home. Rather, he feels like he’s coming home.
The first week after they’re done airing is the least stressful, happiest seven days in Aaron’ recent memory. They get to do normal couple things, like record movies that they fall asleep watching, fuck in the shower, squabble over who gets the left side of the bed, because apparently, they both want that side.
“But you slept on the right side in Fiji!” Aaron argues.
“Yeah, because I was being nice. I wasn’t gonna be like, ‘Oh, Aaron, thanks for the ride, now roll over.’”
He puts his hands on his hips. “Okay, well, be nice again. Take the right side, or you can sleep on the couch.”
“It’s a little early on in this for that threat, don’t you think?”
Aaron narrows his eyes. “No, I do not.”
Robert stomps his feet, making Aaron laugh. “Is it really that important to you that you get the left side?”
“Robert, I moved across the country for you. The least you can do is move across the bed. ”
“Ugh.” He groans, closing his eyes. “Okay, fine, but you only get to use that excuse once a week.”
“Deal.”
Yes, the first week is great, but week two is less magical, once Aaron realizes Robert wasn’t kidding when he says they can’t leave his house until after the finale airs.
“Wait, so I’m, like, a prisoner in my own home?!”
“Jeez, comparing our love nest to jail?”
“Ew, don’t try to be cute with me, Sugden. We can’t leave ! I’m gonna go fucking mental!”
“Oh, this is what you consider yourself to be like sane? Is it too late to call up Cam?”
Aaron sneers. “ Funny. ”
Robert laughs. “Baby, we can leave the house. Just. Not together.”
“And where’s the fun in that?!” he shrieks. “I want to parade around my new city with my smoking hot fianc é ! Not hole up in his ex-bachelor pad!”
“You think I’m smoking hot?” he asks, waggling his brows.
“Don’t be so full of yourself, you dick,” he says, but Robert is laughing, and now Aaron is, too, and he doesn’t know how he ends up naked on the couch with Robert on top of him and kissing every inch of him that he can reach while whispering how much he loves him, but Aaron is fine with it. Very fine with it.
He’s definitely had worse days.
Week Three - when will he stop measuring time in number of weeks? - into his move to California, The Bachelor starts airing. And Aaron thought it would be painfully awkward watching himself on TV, and in some instances, it is, but overall, it’s worse off for Robert than anything, and Aaron livesfor the way Robert blushes whenever he says something that was obviously scripted by the staff, clearly very out of character.
It turns into a Monday night ritual: Robert comes home from work, Aaron puts away his laptop in his temporary home office, they order Chinese food or pizza or burgers from down the block, and together, they dig in and watch what Robert affectionately and disgustingly calls their “love documentary.” The first time he said it, Aaron laughed so hard, lo mein almost came out of his nose, appropriately grossed out by the phrase, so, of course, Robert has continued to call it that ever since.
The best part of watching it all play backward is being able to see each other’s interviews, as well as all the other contestants’. The guys at the beginning clearly do not like Aaron, and they all make it very obvious. For about two weeks, the majority of their interviews start and end with “Aaron fucking sucks.” And for the most part, it doesn’t bother Aaron, because he knows their words are out of jealousy, or because they felt threatened. But then Michael comes out with, “He just doesn’t ever seem like he wants to be here. He doesn’t deserve to stay. He doesn’t deserve Robert. He needs to be sent home.”
Aaron scrunches up his face at that. “Did you ever feel that way? Like I acted above everyone else?”
Robert shakes his head. “God, no. You acted comfortable , like you weren’t putting up a front. I’ve already told you how much I admired that.”
“Yeah. Alright.” He rests his head on Robert’s shoulder. “I really fucking hate Michael.”
Robert laughs. “Yeah, I’m glad I sent him packing.”
“Me, too. What a twat.”
The scene changes to Cameron in the interview chair, half smiling. “Ah, I dunno. Everyone in the house seems to be bothered by Aaron. I don’t really see how. He’s not phony like everyone else, and I appreciate that. And he’s a smart ass. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t tell the others. I don’t want a target on my back, too.”
Aaron looks down at his hands. “Good lad, that Cameron.”
Robert nods. “Mhm. Smart, too. He saw what I saw.”
A week later on the following Monday, Aaron is blushing as he watches himself panicstricken over getting on the gondola in Vail, Robert totally amused that he’s so squirmy, and then Casey appears on the screen.
“He’s totally faking his fear of heights to get close to Robert. At first I was pissed, but then I was like, wow. That’s fucking genius.”
Aaron’ laugh is a little shrill when he yells at the screen, “Fuck you, Casey! Your dick is small!”
Robert snorts. “Mature, Aaron. He said you were genius, at least.”
“He also said I’m a liar .”
“A brilliant one, though.”
“Alright, stop talking, you’re not helping.” The scene changes to Robert in the interview room, rubbing his hands together.
“After the mountain group date, I realized my sole focus was on Aaron. And understandably so. He’s incredible. But, it’s so early on to be so attentive to just one person, you know? I have to pull back a bit and split my attention. I can’t make this the Aaron show.” He smirks. “Or, at least, I’m trying not to.”
Aaron slaps Robert’s leg. “Jesus, Sugden, reel it in.”
He laughs. “ Baby, I was already so crazy about you. That was me reeling it in.”
“Jesus,” he repeats, cheeks hot.
They’re watching Robert on his date with Jonathan at an ice rink somewhere in LA, and Aaron puts his plate of fries down, scooting in closer to Robert. He crosses his legs and drapes them over Robert’s lap, his worn, cotton sweatpants bunching up at the ankles, and Robert reaches down to trace along his ankle bone.
He looks up at Robert, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It’s really weird that we’re sitting here, I think.”
Robert squeezes his ankle. “I know, baby, we made it.”
“And now we’re watching you cheat on me, essentially.”
He laughs. “Do you want to turn it off?”
“No. It’s all good. I know I’m the one you go home with.”
Robert leans down to kiss Aaron’ jaw. “We live together.”
“Did you just realize this?”
He can feel Robert smirk against his neck. “ No, just. We always get to come home to each other. It’s nice. I’ve never had this before. I love it.”
Aaron nods. “I’ve had it before.”
“How am I comparing?”
“How are you comparing to my lying, scumbag ex-boyfriend?” He shrugs. “Eh. It’s a tie, so far.”
“Lovely.”
He smirks, and buries his head into Robert’s shoulder. “It’s, like, I thought I knew what it felt like to come home to the love of my life, but I now realize just how very fucking stupid that was, because he was waiting for me here in California and I’d never actually come home to him before.” He looks up at the TV right as Robert is kissing Jonathan. “Okay, yeah, we can turn this off, now.”
Robert kisses the top of Aaron’ head, laughing, and grabs the remote. “Thank you for letting me pick you,” he murmurs.
“Thank you for doing all my laundry.”
“Even trade, it seems.”
Aaron sits up to kiss Robert properly, and it’s too heated considering they’re in the middle of a conversation, but Robert curls into it, anyway. “Yeah,” he mumbles against Robert’s lips before kissing him again, “even trade.”
At some point, turning off the TV doesn’t work anymore.
Aaron knows that on that blank screen, every Monday night at eight, Robert is falling for multiple guys, kissing them and touching them, and he knows he’s included on that list, but the fact that there’s even a list is what’s getting to him.
“I’m not strong enough for this,” he says into the phone late one night. “Like, this is so, so shitty.”
Adam scoffs. “What did you expect, Aaron? You knew he was actively dating the others guys, too. This is the third time we’ve had this conversation this week, and it’s one in the morning here. Can I go now?”
“Yeah, but there’s a difference between knowing and actually seeing ,” he says, ignoring Adam’s request . “Why did you allow this to happen. You’re not going to be the best man at my wedding anymore.”
“Yes I am.”
“No you’re not.”
“Yes. I am. And guess what.”
“No, piss off.”
“I’m gonna be your best man at your wedding with Robert. ”
Aaron scratches his stomach. “What’s your point.”
“My point, Captain Oblivious, is that you’re marrying Robert. None of those others guys matter, because it was you in the end.”
“Oh.” He looks over his shoulder and peers down the dark hallway where he knows his fianc é is sound asleep, probably snoring, maybe even drooling a little bit. He smiles. “Fuck, I hate you when you’re right.”
“So, you always hate me?”
“Oh my God, goodbye.” He hangs up before Adam can get another word in, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Sleep sounds good. Sleep with Robert sounds better.
He pads into the bedroom, creaking the door closed so Robert doesn’t wake up, and places his phone on the nightstand as he slides underneath the covers, pulling them up to his chin.
His lets himself settle deeper into the mattress, pillow already warm and eyes already slipping shut, and Robert rolls, wrapping his arm around Aaron on instinct, holding him close, holding him tight.
Aaron breathes Robert’s shampoo in for about five seconds before he reaches for his phone. The brightness makes him squint in the darkness of the bedroom as he types.
Thank you, Z.
It buzzes in his hand moments later.
I’m so happy for you. Now go to sleep and leave me alone.
He does.
They’re down to the final episode of the season, and Aaron knows tonight is the episode of his screaming match with Robert, of his breakdown on the beach with Lydia, and he still hasn’t told Robert about why their fight escalated so quickly, still doesn’t even know about the mess that occurred after he stormed out of his own hotel room. Every time he tries to get the words out, he freezes, choking on his own thoughts. And Robert hasn’t asked, hasn’t pried. But now, Robert is sitting on the couch with his feet wedged between the cushions, beer in hand, about to find out at the same time as the rest of the country.
He’s extremely on edge, about ready to fly out of his seat, could scream at any minute.
They watch about half of the episode together, Aaron fidgeting and looking at the time on his phone every 20 seconds, and when Chris Harrison’s voice comes through the speakers, saying, “Coming up,” Aaron all but jumps off the couch, yanking at his sweatshirt, suddenly way too tight around his neck.
Robert looks up. “You okay?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m gonna go for a walk.”
He furrows his brows. “Now?”
“Yeah. Need to, like, walk.”
“So you’ve said…”
“Do you need anything? At the store?”
“No… Aaron, what are you doing?”
“I’m just gonna walk to the store and come back, okay? No big deal.” I just can’t fucking watch this.
“Right,” he says slowly. “No big deal.”
Aaron slips on a pair of Adidas sandals, socks still on, and heads out the door, not bothering to lock it behind him.
He walks for a while, long enough that he’s sure the episode is over and that he doesn’t feel like he’s going to vomit anymore. The streetlights along the sidewalk are dim, and he keeps tripping over cracks in the pavement, unable to see them. He doesn’t want to walk anymore. He just wants to be in his home.
He pushes open the front door, kicking off his sandals, and Robert is in the exact same spot, same position, as when Aaron left nearly two hours ago. He turns when he hears Aaron make his way into the living room.
“What did you get at the store?”
Aaron clears his throat. “I didn’t see anything I liked.”
“You didn’t see one thing you liked at the grocery store?”
He shrugs. “They were out of everything.”
Robert sighs. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
He’s already tearing up, fuck. “I didn’t want to have that conversation with you on camera.”
“But screaming it at Lydia on the beach was a better alternative. Oh, and it was still recorded, obviously.”
He puts up his hand. “Robert, I don’t want your sarcasm, okay? Just. I don’t.”
Robert nods. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting any of that, is all.”
Long pause. “Yeah.”
“Can you come here, at least? Sit down? Pretend you’re not ready to jump out of your skin?”
He huffs out a laugh at that, because it’s true, and Robert’s always calling him out on shit like that. “Okay, I’ll sit down.” He joins Robert in his usual spot, crossing his legs, and when he looks at Robert’s face, his stomach sinks when he sees tear tracks. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get the words out before.”
“I just wish I had known? Like, it would have made so much more sense, Aaron. I spent weeks, months, even, wondering why all of that had freaked you out so bad. And in a three minute clip, it all clicked. I shouldn’t have to learn about and understand my future husband through a TV show. I should be able to hear it from him .”
Aaron nods. “I know. You’re right.”
He reaches out and grabs Aaron hand. “Can you tell me more about Nathan, please? The whole story? All I know is what you told me on our first date, which was barely anything, and what I just learned on there,” he says, nodding toward the TV.
“Okay, let me start off by saying it’s not personal, Robert. If this was under normal circumstances and we met at a bar or on a blind date or at a baseball game--”
“What the hell would you be doing at a baseball game?”
“--I most likely - you can shut up - wouldn’t have told you about any of this already, yeah? It just so happens that I was triggered in, like, the worst scenario possible and now I’m humiliated but I’m gonna tell you anyway because I hate that pitiful look on your face.”
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
“Weak argument, Sugden. I want to tell you now. And you deserve to hear it. To learn what you’re now stuck with for eternity.”
Robert smiles and squeezes Aaron’ hand, encouraging. “Okay, Aaron. Tell me.”
“But I want you to know first, before I start, that since I met you, my feelings for you have never wavered, okay? Like. You’re it for me. None of this Nathan stuff really mattered, until it did. But it doesn’t anymore, and nobody or anything has any affect on how I feel about us. Anything that’s in my past will remain there. You are my present and my future. And that’s it.”
He swallows audibly. “I love you.”
Aaron blushes. “I love you, too, now shh. My turn.”
He tells Robert all about Nathan, about how unprepared he was to find out he’d been unfaithful for so long, and that it wasn’t just a casual fling. He talks about the overwhelming feeling of grief when he realized Nathan was in love with this guy, in love with both of them, actually, and he didn’t know how to sort it out, how to make sense of it all.
Aaron clutches the pillow next to him. “I was so stupid, yeah? Like, I was in denial, not accepting the fact that not only had he been unfaithful, but he’d been in a real relationship with someone else for a long, long time. It stung so much, so I basically pretended it hadn’t happened. I told him that we could move forward, and we could be together, as long as he chose me in the end.” He stops to collect his thoughts. “I remember standing in front of him, forcing myself to smile when I told him to pick me, all the while screaming inside my own head, ‘I shouldn’t be asking you to pick me, you should want to.’” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Jesus, I never expected him to say no, either, and then I felt like an idiot for merely suggesting he stay and work on things. Like, I looked pathetic. I begged my cheating boyfriend to stay and the whole time, he wanted to leave.”
Robert scoots closer to him, lacing their fingers together. “You loved him. No one thinks rationally in that kind of situation, Aaron.”
He sighs. “I don’t think I was really thinking rationally on that beach, either.”
He’s quiet for a minute, tracing along Aaron’ knuckles. “ The Bachelor was clearly a great choice for you, seeing as the object of the show is to choose between two people. We should send Adam flowers as a thank you.”
He snorts. “I don’t think he knew, really. I mean, he knew what happened with Nate, but I don’t think he ever thought I would explode like that. Ididn’t think it would happen, either.” He takes a deep breath. “I was standing on that beach with Lydia and I just kept thinking over and over again, ‘I am so desperately in love with you, Nathan, pick me.’ Except, it was almost two years later, and instead of Nathan, it was you. And it hurt worse, somehow. History was repeating itself and I panicked.”
“If you had told me then, I could have told you how in love with you I was, too. Aaron.” He frowns. “I’m so, sorry.”
“It’s my own doing, yeah?”
Robert nods. “You can’t take all the blame. It’s not all your fault.”
“I guess.”
“I’m glad I understand it all now, but Jesus, I wish you could have said it at the time. It would have saved me a lot of time of wondering.”
He shrugs. “Well. Now you know.”
“I do.” He kisses the back of Aaron’ hand. “You won’t ever have to ask me to pick between you and someone else, just so you know.”
Aaron makes a face. “Robert.”
“ Again, you won’t ever have to ask me to pick between you and someone else again. ”
He laughs. “Thank you.”
“We couldn’t have found each other on a different reality TV show? Something less emotionally traumatic? Like Big Brother. Or Survivor .”
“If you think I’d willingly end up on Survivor …”
“You didn’t even willingly end up on The Bachelor . You were forced into it.”
“Ah, true.”
He kisses the top of Aaron’ head. “Hey, Aaron.”
“Mmm.”
“Thank you for not leaving when all of that happened. And for not leaving now.”
“Thanks for listening.” The way Robert is rubbing his leg feels nice, and his eyes start to slip shut.
“Baby.”
“What.”
“Can I take you out on a date?”
Aaron cracks one eye open. “We’re in hiding.”
“No one’s gonna see us at 12:39 in the morning.”
“Wait, you mean right now ?!”
“Yeah.” His smile is contagious. “Let’s get the hell out of this house and away from this shitty conversation and let’s go have our first date. No cameras, no crew, just us in our city.”
“Nothing is even open right now.”
“We’ll find something. Get up.”
“Ugh. No. You just made me spill my heart and guts out to you and now I’m tired.”
“Heart and guts?”
“Yeah, all over the floor.”
“I’ll clean it up later, but right now, I want to take my fianc é out on a date.”
He rolls his eyes. “Alright, Sugden, but you better make this worth it.”
“I aim to please.”
The air has a slight chill, strange for April in Leeds, but they leave the windows down, anyway, Aaron keeping his hand outside, letting the wind knock it down over and over again.
He feels better, so much better, now that everything is on the table and Robert knows ; he knows and loves him and wants to take him out on midnight dates in his - their - city.
Robert looks over and smiles as he turns up the volume on the radio, putting his hand on the inside of Aaron’ thigh, and Aaron closes his eyes, listening to Robert humming along to the song.
“I drive a beat-up car, a caravan, the color blue / Reminds me of your eyes and all the places we've been to / We're tethered to the leather, searching for a better view / It's interstellar when it's me and you.”
He doesn’t bother opening his eyes when Robert rolls to a stop at a stoplight, tapping his fingers to the beat on Aaron’ thigh, and when they take off again, Aaron laces their fingers together.
“We look up at the stars, a perfect night to dream with you / Got nineties retro on the radio, our favorite tune / I put the pedal to the metal just to laugh with you / It's interstellar when it's just us two.”
The roads are silent, nearly dead, Robert not having to stop at any lights for very long, and Aaron doesn’t open his eyes until Robert slows the car and turns.
“Wait. Why the hell are we at Taco Bell.”
“I told you I would find some place that was open.”
Aaron bursts out laughing. “Our first actual date in the real world cannot be at Taco Bell, R!”
“Why not?!”
“Because! It’s Taco Bell !”
“I know, and I don’t care for your negative inflection, here.”
“Oh my God. What did I do to deserve this?”
“I totally spoil you, I know.”
Aaron sighs. “Fine. Crunchwrap Supreme, please.”
“Good boy,” he answers, and Aaron punches him on the leg.
They drive around Leeds until three in the morning, Aaron feeding Robert a taco, nearly snorting when Robert swerves onto the other side of the road after Aaron “accidentally” spills half of the meat and lettuce onto his lap. The music in their car is too loud, their sodas are too warm, and when Robert has to pull over from laughing so hard at Aaron impersonating one of their stewardesses on their flight to London, he says, “I think this might be my favorite date with you.”
And fuck, if Aaron doesn’t agree with that.
The next morning, Aaron wakes up with Robert nearly plastered to his back, hot and heavy, and Aaron immediately shoves him off.
“I swear to god, it feels like sleeping with a llama,” he mumbles, kicking the blankets off.
“Llama?” Robert murmurs, still half asleep.
“Yeah, with all the hair and limbs.”
“Are llamas typically known for their volume of hair? Or excessive amount of limbs?”
Aaron stares at him, unamused. “I take it back, it just feels like sleeping with a jackass.”
“Hee-haw.”
“Honestly, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met.”
“You don’t like my donkey noises?”
“I don’t like your anything.”
Robert rolls over and props himself up onto his elbows, smirking. “That’s too bad, because I love your everything .”
Aaron looks down and sees Robert tenting in his boxers. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“ Aaron ,” he whines, pushing his hips forward into Aaron’ hip. “I wanna fuck you.”
“You always wanna fuck me…”
“So?”
“I don’t wanna have sex with you anymore. It’s all we’ve done in the past month. Remember when I used to go outside and experience nature and wildlife?”
“Who cares about nature.” He kisses Aaron’ bare shoulder.
“You do.”
“Not right now, I don’t.”
Aaron’ about to say that he’s engaged to a nympho, and he’s creeped out by it, but then Robert dips down to kiss sloppily at Aaron’ collarbones and he can feel Robert’s cock hard against his leg and he thinks about the way Robert stares at him when he’s inside him and the way it feels when Robert gets his hand around his cock and.
“Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”
Robert rolls on top of him, grinding his hips down before he can even get his lips on Aaron’, and it’s already too good, Aaron always so easy for him first thing in the morning.
He opens him up the same way he always does, taking his sweet fucking time, making Aaron so tense and eager that he wants to hit him square in the jaw, and when he finally pushes in all the way, Aaron gasps and claws at Robert’s chest, back arching.
Robert pulls out almost all the way before slamming himself back in, Aaron’ thighs already shaking. “Still don’t want to have sex with me anymore?” he breathes out.
“No, I don’t,” Aaron murmurs through gritted teeth.
“So you’re saying I have to fuck you better, to get you to change your mind.”
Actually, that’s not what he’s saying at all. In fact, if he keeps driving into him that way, Aaron is going to come in less than five minutes without a single hand on his cock. Embarrassing. And impressive. But he can’t let Robert know that. “Yeah, fuck me better. Show me you can do it.”
“I can do it,” Robert says, changing his angle and picking up his pace. “Gonna get you off and then we can go get breakfast.”
Aaron whines, closing his eyes. “I want cinnamon rolls.”
Robert bites at his shoulder, hands squeezing his hips. “Whatever you want. Just. Come for me. Always look so good when you do, always feel so fucking good, c’mon , baby.”
“Fuck.” He grips onto Robert’s shoulder while Robert keeps working his hips mercilessly into Aaron’, coming onto his stomach without a sound.
“Gorgeous,” Robert murmurs, coming inside of Aaron while he’s kissing up and down his neck. “Love you.”
Aaron waits for Robert to pull out and lay down on his back, eyes closed, when he pinches his bicep. “Hey.”
“Why do you always have to get my attention that way? I have so many bruises from you.”
He ignores him. “You’re coming on a little strong, saying ‘I love you’ the morning after our first date, you know.”
Robert smiles. “Also told you I don’t put out on the first date, either, but looks like you’re a game changer.”
Breakfast is sublime, and Aaron openly admits he loves the cinnamon rolls more than he loves Robert, which says a lot about the chef’s baking abilities, because he loves the boy across from him so much, it nearly hurts.
The week before the finale, Aaron is packing to head to LA for the final rose ceremony, gearing up to interview and see everyone from the show for the first time since Fiji. He’s shoving random toiletries into his suitcase, this week’s episode playing in the background, desperately trying to ignore Cam and Robert kissing on the screen, and he looks up when he realizes he’s about to met Robert’s family for the first time.
It’s surreal and makes his throat constrict a little bit to watch Robert looking at him the way he was, even amidst all of their tension and awkwardness, and he smiles when Vic starts threatening him outside on the beach.
And when they walk back into the room, the camera zooms in on Sarah and Robert, subtitles popping up because of how quietly they’re talking. Aaron strains to listen, reading along with the words scrolling by on the screen.
Sarah pulls Robert in for a hug and whispers into his ear, “I think I love him,” and Robert whispers back, “I think I do, too.”
Aaron wipes at his tears, throwing more useless items into his suitcase, including a shower cap and the wrench he sees laying on the end table, and mumbles, “Fucking Robert. Telling his mum he loved me before I even knew. Goddamnit.”
Aaron stands on his tip toes, readjusting Robert’s tie. “Okay, so, what exactly do we do when we go out on stage, again?”
Robert sighs, batting Aaron’ hand away. “I told you. I have to go out on stage first. I sit down and talk with Chris Harrison and Cam, and whomever else in the audience has a question. Then they call you out and you sit with me on the couch and we answer questions for, like, four minutes maximum. Aaron, you’ve seen this thing a hundred times. It’s not any different in real life as it is on TV. And stop touching my tie. It was fine.”
“ Now it is.” He bounces on the balls of his feet, clicking his tongue. “I think I’m nervous.”
“Gee, I couldn’t have guessed.”
“Fucking help me instead of being a royal dick about it, Jesus Christ.”
He smiles. “Baby. You are the strongest, most intelligent, wittiest, caring person I know. You can take anything that gets thrown your way.”
“Kiss ass.”
He shakes his head, still smiling. “But you don’t have anything to worry about, anyway. It’s just a basic interview, mostly stuff about what we’ve been doing since the proposal. And if anyone tries to be rude to you, they’ll have to go through me first.”
“Oi, the drama. Thanks, R, but I can hold my own. I’m stronger than you, anyway.”
“Should we put that theory to the test?”
“Are you suggesting we wrestle right here?”
“I am now.”
Dale comes up behind them, pulling off his headphones. “I can’t believe I have to babysit you two, honestly. Robert, we need you on stage in two minutes. Aaron, you stay back here, and we’ll signal you when we’re ready. And don’t fucking wrestle, for the love of God, you’re grown, engagedmen.”
Robert looks Aaron up and down. “You’re a grown man?”
Aaron kicks him in the knees and he goes down to the ground immediately.
Waiting backstage with Robert is nerve wracking enough; waiting alone is near impossible. Aaron is pretty sure he’s sweating all the way through his suit, and he wonders if someone happens to have a straight jacket handy for him to wear, or a panic room to sit in.
He’s concentrating on his breathing when Lydia approaches him. “Hi, Aaron!” She goes in for a hug and pauses. “Why are you green.”
“I honestly think I’m going to be sick.”
“I can see that. Why?”
“This is live TV. It’s not recorded. Like, this is happening now .”
“I’m aware of how live TV works.”
He groans. “Robert was so nonchalant about it and I’m about four seconds away from heaving. Why isn’t he nervous?!”
She rubs his back. “Okay, but why are you freaking? You have an amazing stage presence, and it’s not like you’ll have the entire nation sitting in there with you. There’s only about 100 people in the audience. And Robert will be there right next to you.”
He inhales deeply. “I know. I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly, yeah? Robert’s in the press enough. I don’t want to do something stupid and put his name in the media even more.”
“That won’t happen. You’re all in your head about it.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, maybe.”
“You gonna be okay?”
He nods. “I think so. I just need a minute. Or drugs. Or Robert. Or my mum.”
She laughs. “I can’t help you with any of those things. But I do have something else.”
He raises his brow. “Alcohol?”
“No, stop guessing. Robert’s obviously busy so he instructed me to do it for him.”
“Lydia, I’m sure you’re lovely, but I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“I said stop guessing, holy fuck.” She rolls her eyes. “Come with me, quick. We have about 15 minutes before I need to send you out there.”
He follows her down a long hallway and she stops him before just before they enter an office. He tries to peer over her shoulder and she slaps him across the chest.
“Ow?”
“Robert called me last week and said he knew you’d be panicking right about now.”
“I hate when he’s right.”
“And he wanted to do something for you, something that would bring you some calmness. And he knows you’ve been missing home…”
“Lydia. Who’s in this room.”
“Go ahead.”
He looks at her with a blank expression on his face and starts pushing the door open slowly. “I’m half expecting this to be the plot of a horror film. Something in here is gonna slice me, isn’t it.”
“Yes, Robert decided to have you murdered.”
“I mean, that would definitely calm me. Because I’d be dead.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Get the hell in that damn room!”
“Jeez. Bossy.” He kicks it open the rest of the way, and immediately starts screaming. “Oh my God, what the fuck!”
Niall, Liam, and Adam are all standing there, matching, goofy grins plastered to each of their faces, and Liam breaks first, laughing and charging at Aaron, nearly squeezing him to death.
“Lydia!” he yells, squirming out of Liam’s embrace, “It’s my Liam! And my Niall and my Adam! My people are here! Wait, get off of me, you’re wrinkling my suit!”
She’s smirking, obviously pleased. “I know, I see them.”
“When did you get here?!”
Niall slaps him on the back. “Early this morning.”
“Wanted to watch your live TV debut,” Adam adds.
“And Robert did this?”
Niall nods. “Yeah, he did. You don’t care if we stay with you, right?”
“Mate, you can keep my house. You fucking flew here.”
He laughs. “We did.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Trying to get rid of us already?” Adam asks.
“Yes, please leave me,” Aaron says, going in for a group hug.
They stand there in a circle and talk for another few minutes, Aaron smiling so hard, he’s squinting and he may or may not tear up a couple of times. It’s been a long time, okay?
He’s in the middle of an animated story about short sheeting the beds of all the guys he didn’t like in the mansion when Lydia cuts him off.
“Aaron, we have to get you on stage. These guys will be back here when you’re done. Let’s get out there.”
“No, I’d rather do this.”
“Aaron,” she warns.
He sighs. “Ugh. Fine. Okay, this will hopefully take no more than, like, ten minutes. And then we’re all going out for drinks. You guys and me and Robert…” He trails off. “Oh my God. I can go outside with Robert after this.”
Niall raises his brow. “Okay?”
“No. You guys don’t get it. I can leave the house with my fianc é .” He puts his hand over his face. “Alright, let’s fucking do this! Yes ! Let’s get out there!”
Lydia smirks. “Robert really knew what he was doing. Unbelievable.”
Aaron straightens his tie, making his final adjustments before taking the stage. “With what?”
“Knowing what would calm you down.”
He thinks about it for a minute, then smiles. “He really did.” He pauses and smirks. “How am I going to thank him?”
All three boys groan collectively and Liam covers his face with his hands. “I swear to God, if we can hear you having sex tonight…”
He kisses Liam square on the mouth before he can keep talking, startling him, and with a whoop, he runs out the door, finally ready to take the stage. He only makes it about halfway down the corridor before he hears Lydia start yelling after him, “And by the way, Dingle, don’t think I didn’t notice the missing suit! You need to ship that back to me ASAP or you are dead meat!”
He laughs maniacally, shouting back, “It fits me like a glove. Sorry, love! Finder’s keepers! Or I might sell it on eBay and make a damn fortune !”
The lights are bright and blinding when he steps out onto the stage, the noise from the crowd bordering on deafening, and he can’t stop smiling. The look on his face matches Robert’s, he’s sure, which looks like it’s about to split in half. He doesn’t really recall walking across the stage, or shaking Chris’ hand, or waving to the audience, but when he watches it back weeks later, he’ll see that he did. All he remembers right now, in this moment, is wrapping his arms around Robert and breathing in the smell of his cologne, all but melting into his embrace. Robert squeezes tightly, kissing his hair, and Christ, it’s so, so good.
When the crowd starts to die down, he takes a seat next to Robert on the plush, white couch, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants, smiling harder when Robert drapes his arm over his shoulder.
“So, this is my boy!” he says stupidly, and a couple of the audience members whistle and cheer.
Aaron slaps his leg. “They know who I am.”
“Yeah, but I like telling people. Oh my God, baby, I can finally tell people. Guys, this is my fianc é! Look at his face!”
He blushes. “Harold, please.”
Chris smiles and places his hands on his lap. “Aaron, welcome.”
Aaron nods. “Thank you. It’s good to be here.”
“Here with me?” Robert asks, nudging him with his elbow.
“No, here on this couch.” He bounces up and down on the cushion. “So comfy.”
“Okay. Aaron.” Chris’ expression becomes serious and Aaron stops moving. “Let’s first talk about the proposal. Did you have an idea it was you, and not Cam?”
Robert laces his fingers through Aaron’ hand before he starts talking. “I was hoping it was me,” he says honestly, half smiling. “Going into it, I wasn’t 100% sure, but looking back, I should have known. I mean, like, I really know this guy.”
“You do,” Robert confirms.
“Yeah, I do, and I feel stupid for even questioning him, really.”
Chris turns to Robert. “When did you know, Robert, that you wanted it to be Aaron? When did you decide you wanted to propose to him?”
“I never got to propose to him, remember? Not really, anyway. It got hijacked.”
Aaron shakes his head and brushes his hair out of his eyes. “You were taking too long, that’s not my problem.”
Robert ignores him. “Well. He was the first person to grab my attention, and the only one to keep it all the way through. But I regretted giving him the first impression rose for a while.”
“Hey. I didn’t know that.”
He nods. “Yeah, I feel like there’s a bad omen surrounding whomever receives the first rose of the season. It always seems that everything goes downhill from there. And I was afraid of that for a while.”
“Getting superstitious on me, Sugden?”
“I guess so. I just wanted all the good luck I could get, so I could keep you.”
The audience aww ’s and Aaron makes fake gagging noises.
Chris laughs. “So, it was him from the beginning?”
Robert shrugs. “Did you not watch the season, Chris? It was, like, painfully obvious. I tried to be subtle but…”
Aaron pats his knee affectionately. “We’ll work on that skill.”
“Thanks, baby, I appreciate it.”
“And Aaron. Was it the same for you? Did you know as early on as Robert did that you two were a perfect match?”
“I liked that he felt like my best friend from the beginning. That was important to me. I was comfortable enough with him from day one to joke with him and make fun of him. But it really hit me hard around the mountain date that it was more than that.” He looks up at Robert. “ I knew I was in love with him in London, at the aquarium. He brought my family to me, and that was kind of just it.”
Robert smiles. “That’s funny, because I knew I was in love with you when I was on the phone with your mom earlier that week, making sure all the plans were still set in stone. I remember hanging up and being like, ‘Yeah, you’re screwed.’”
Aaron laughs. “I didn’t know that.”
“Your mom definitely did.”
“No surprise there. I’m pretty sure she can hear people’s thoughts.”
Chris leans forward in his seat. “So, other than adjusting to this new chapter of your lives--”
“And hiding,” Aaron adds, rolling his eyes.
“--have you started planning the wedding?”
“Not yet, no. I’m still working on getting Aaron settled into Leeds. He’s dealing with transferring his job, and he’s flying back and forth between here and Chicago every couple of weeks, so we’ve been busy.”
Aaron nods. “Hectic, definitely. But good. All very good.”
Robert continues. “I feel like when people say, ‘We’re enjoying our engagement,’ they really mean they don’t have any intention of getting married. But I’m serious when I say we’re truly enjoying our engagement, and I’m going to marry him. And I’m so excited to.”
“Eh, I’m feeling fairly average about it. I’m a little bored of you, actually.”
“Nice.”
“Thanks.”
Chris laughs. “I can see you guys are still best friends.”
Aaron reaches up to touch Robert’s hand, still draped around his shoulder. “ We’re not always lovey-dovey,” he makes a face at the word choice, “or falling all over each other. But I like it that way. We’re a team, and it’s more than just romance. We have fun.”
Robert waggles his eyebrows. “Hell yeah, we do.”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
Chris holds up his hands. “That’s enough is right.” He turns to Aaron. “What are your general thoughts about this whole process? I know you were a bit skeptical at the beginning.”
“I was. I still am, a little bit. I think Robert and I just got lucky. But.” He pauses, trying not to focus too hard on the fact that the room is suddenly dead silent. “Christ, I’m really happy, yeah? I feel like anything else I could say would cheapen it.” He feels Robert’s lips on the top of his head and he smiles.
“And Robert? Your second time through the ringer? What are you thinking, now that it’s all over?”
“How relieved I am,” he says with a laugh. “ Honestly, the most irresponsible, stupidest thing I’ve ever done, planning a future with someone if I wasn’t sure if he even loved me back.”
“Robert,” Aaron scoffs. “C’mon. You knew. You knew we were a sure thing. Deep down, you knew had nothing to worry about.”
His blush is deep when he grips Aaron’ shoulder. “Yeah. I think, deep down, I knew. Thank God.”
Chris smiles, eyes bright. “Any last thoughts, Aaron?”
“Yeah, actually. I didn’t realize how much I swore until I started counting the amount of times they had to bleep me out, and I’d like to apologize for that.”
The audience laughs, and so does Robert. “You should hear him at home. Believe it or not, what you heard on the show was actually censored.”
“And any last thoughts for you, Robert? Or any words of advice for the next group of people about to start their journey on The Bachelor ?”
Robert clears his throat. “It’s not all easy, this process, or this life we’re creating together. We work at our relationship everyday, just like normal people; it just so happens that the way we met wasn’t normal. And yeah, everything seemed so magical on the show, because it kind of was. We met in a mansion and fell in love on top of mountains and in the tides and watching sunsets and the thing is… I don’t want it to be that easy. The challenges make this real, and having Aaron is the realest thing I’ve ever experienced. Magic, it was, but this . The reality and the hardships and the baggage that comes with it. This is better.”
Aaron closes his eyes. “Jesus, Sugden.” He twists to look up at him, blinking tears away. “I’m so glad I’m stuck with you.”
“Me, too, baby.” He dips down to kiss him, sweetly and softly on the lips, and Aaron can faintly hear the sound of the crowd clapping and cheering, the rushing in his ears too loud to be completely sure. They’re still kissing when the lights dim, the cameras stop rolling, and a crew members yells, “And that’s a wrap, everybody!”
A wrap for the season, the start of everything else.
And if that isn’t real life, honest to God magic , Aaron doesn’t know what is.
Chapter 4: Prologue/Epilogue
Chapter Text
When Robert’s sister had first suggested that he go on The Bachelor , he’d all but spit in her face from laughter.
“Why would you ever think that’d be something I’d want to do?!”
“Because you’re a catch.”
“Oh. That was nicer than I expected.”
“Let me finish. You’re a catch to someone who’s blinded by Hollywood and fame and won’t be able to tell how truly horrible you are.”
“ There we go.”
“No, but seriously. You’d be so good at it. All of these men are actual idiots; you’d totally blow them out of the water. You’re gorgeous and witty and smart and would have been falling at their feet immediately. And you’d have fun.”
He shrugs. “That’s all nice, Vic, but, like. Who actually believes in any of that stuff? No one actually falls in love on national television and has a successful, healthy relationship afterward. It isn’t normal. And it isn’t happening.”
Except it does happen eight weeks later, when Vic begged and pleaded nonstop everyday for two weeks straight until he gave in just to make her shut up.
“But. Chances are, I won’t even get picked. And who knows if I’ll make it past the first night?”
“Robert, you don’t owe me a single birthday present for the next three years. This is the greatest gift in my entire existence.”
“I want that in writing.”
But then he gets chosen, and he makes it past week one, past week two, week three, week four, and suddenly, he’s at the proposal, getting his heart broken, walking back to the limo with his heart in his throat and his pride smeared across the floor. He calls Vic crying, asking her how someone like him could actually fall for something like this , and she cries, too, swearing that she never thought any of this would pan out this way, and that she’s so, so sorry.
When Chris Harrison asks him to be the bachelor for the next season, his immediate response is a big fat N-O.
“I’m not falling for this shit again. I thought it would be fun the first time around, and it was, up until, like, week six. Then it started to get a little too real and I hate you for it.”
Chris laughs. “Robert, did you know you are overwhelmingly the most popular contestant in the show’s history? By an absolute landslide?”
He sits up a little straighter at that. “Really?”
He nods. “Yes. The ratings kept up because of you, and when we did polling, you were the America’s favorite by more than 82%.”
“Whoa.”
“Whoa is right.” Chris leans forward in his chair. “You don’t have to say yes, but I think there are going to be so many people lining up to meet you and be with you, we’re going to have no problem finding 25 men who are a perfect match for you. I can almost guarantee it. The picking’s won’t be slim, my friend.”
Robert groans. “I can’t believe I’m about to say yes. Ugh. Do you want to call Vic and tell her or should I?”
Several weeks later, Robert is standing in front of the mansion, suit fitted to his body impeccably, tie snug, hair styled in a way he could never manage on his own, thanks to the network’s glam team.
The first limo of guys is excellent, all handsome and smart, one extremely funny that has Robert reaching for more. Limo number two falls a little flat, only one man making a solid impression, and same goes for the third. The fourth limo, however, is impeccable, and each guy is somehow better than the last.
And then comes limo five. Lucky number five. Robert endures some horrible jokes and some uncomfortable pickup lines, definitely all courtesy of the show’s writers, he’s sure, and all he can think about is how badly he wants to take off his new shoes that aren’t broken in yet when the last guy steps out.
He looks impossibly nervous and Robert gets that; he’s been through it. Hell, he’s still going through it. He watches attentively as he brushes his hair out of his eyes, eyes casting downward, and he knows this guy is gorgeous without even seeing his entire face.
Come on, look up, look up.
As if he can hear Robert’s thoughts, he stands up straight, staring directly at Robert, and Robert realizes he’s already grinning so hard, he can feel his dimple coming to life.
He can’t think of anything to do or say, simply mouthing, “Wow,” bouncing on his feet. It’s not adequate enough, but it makes this guy blush high on his cheekbones, so Robert considers that a win.
He clears his throat, looking up at Robert. “I’m Aaron, and I’m afraid I don’t have any gimmicks for you.”
Robert looks down at the ground and laughs, his stomach clenching. “Oh, and he has an accent. Cut me some slack. You definitely don’t need a gimmick, Aaron. You are… Wow.”
Aaron smirks. “Yes, I am wow. That is my profession, actually.”
“Professional wower?”
“Indeed.”
Robert’s smile is so big, it nearly hurts, feeling like it’s going to split his face in half. He reaches out and grips Aaron’ elbow, physically can't stop himself. “Other than wowing, what do you do?”
“I work in advertising.”
“Oh, that’s interesting.”
“No, it really isn’t. One shouldn’t lie so early on, Robert.”
He laughs again, unable to stop it, and he clutches Aaron’ elbow even more firmly, desperate to not let go. “I’m not lying! I honestly wanted to go into advertising for the longest time.”
“But then you became a dentist instead. Those aren’t even remotely similar, how’d you choose that one?” Aaron makes a face that shows he clearly didn’t mean to say that out loud. “Probably creepy that I’m bringing up the fact that I know what you do for a living and you don’t even know my last name yet.”
Robert smirks. “I take it you watched the show last season?”
Aaron swallows. “Yeah. Why else do you think I’m here? I wouldn’t have flown across the country for just anyone,” he mumbles, eyes wide.
“If I wasn’t feeling lucky before, I’m definitely feeling pretty lucky right about now.” And that's the most truthful thing he's said thus far, to anyone.
His eyes cast downward momentarily. “Dingle. My last name. It’s Dingle,” he says after a beat.
“Aaron Dingle, it’s been my pleasure to meet you,” Robert says, fingers itching to touch more, mind desperate to hear more.
He nods. “Likewise. I’ll, uh, see you inside?”
“Most definitely.” He’s helpless to not pull Aaron in for a hug, so he does, embracing him tightly, Aaron going willingly, and as he watches Aaron walk away, he says out loud to Chris, “So, Aaron’ the one to beat, it would appear.”
Chris laughs. “Based on the way your face looks right now, I would say that I agree with you.”
“I’m trying not to be too obvious.”
“Well, you’re not doing a great job there, pal.”
It’s been over a year since then, and the ranks are still the same. No one can beat his Aaron.
No one even comes close .
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