there’s all these sci-fi or fantasy or whatever movies/shows that feature a flying monster bearing down upon the main character(s) but then they duck last second and the beast misses them and LISTEN
all i’m saying is that if i get turned into a flying beast, I will simply roll into a ball a few feet before you and land my big heavy monster ass on you in a stylish cannonball lmao what’s ur precious ducking gonna do now you crushed idiots
u ever talk to a business major and ur like “so what do you do?” and they fuckin say something like “i work in aggregate client centric business executive content data management logistics analytics development” like sir none of those words have definitions
New York ran out of names to take so they just started taking other states
World capitals, but they’re all in Arkansas.
I actually think Illinois has more world capitals in it but they’re not as funny.
30 times as many Parises as France
10 times as many Londons as England
The United States has 3 times as many Jerusalems as Israel
i dont know what prompted this but yes i promise so much
oh my GOD i was standing on a chair grabbing something from the cupboards that i can’t reach when my body was like hey i’m gonna send a SHARP pain through your ribs
and i just flinched strongly to the side and just about FELL OFF my chair oh my GOD my body is trying to KILL me what! the! fuck!