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Engineers going to uni for years to learn what beavers 🦫 know intuitively. Embarrassing.

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brown sugar and cinnamon are lesbian married

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i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

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They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

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we need a universal grocery classification system like the dewey decimal to aid in shelving, so i don’t have to figure out whether you think maple syrup goes with the sauces, breakfast foods, jams, or condiments

#I have bad news about classification systems

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so it's like four years later but I plan on getting my hair cut tomorrow since I have a work conference coming up do you think I should ask for this or

i know i posted that rat hairstyle earlier as a joke but i kinda…do you think i should…guys would you still talk to me if i…you know…asked my hairdresser to…

i have an appointment this upcoming tuesday…

#this is professional right? #yeah #For sure

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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

#no no no no no. gross

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i can't tell if I've been hearing a fire siren somewhere in the distance for the last fifteen minutes or if my brain has just decided to play a sound on repeat to fill in the silence

#I genuinely cannot tell #I give up