fitemebitch

[fitemebitch]

What would happen if I wanted to fight you? I don’t, but what if I did?

You would want to fight me, duh

#shadow needs help

[fitemebitch]

[fitemebitch]

“I love you, guys.”

Sonic but it’s No Way Home Movie! Sonic as Peter 1 Modern! Sonic as Peter 2 Boom! Sonic as Peter 3

[fitemebitch]

lol getting pulled into the office for an informal sit-down because we just finished our round of paltry and frankly offensive raises, and i've been calling them poverty wages/disrespect wages, because that's what they are. yes, miss manager, my vibe is a little rancid right now, but i have to spend all my break listening to my coworker who's going through a divorce cry in secret because she can't afford to live alone despite working a full 40 hours a week, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fitemebitch]

💀

Nah that’s perfect

congratulations! you’re now a pirate. your seventh most recent emoji is the symbol on your flag. mine is ™️

[fitemebitch]

[fitemebitch]

You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”

[fitemebitch]

unfriendly reminder: this is a sex worker positive space. I will not tolerate the disrespect of sex workers here, and if you cant agree with that without a doubt then you're not welcome here.

[fitemebitch]

@todaysbird 

#I want to pet it so much

[fitemebitch]

I think that destroying all van Gogh paintings and other things that rich people value would be a great act.

[fitemebitch]

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

[fitemebitch]

Chris Pratt Fired By Marvel

Kevin Feige has announced that Starlord will be played by Charles Martinet in Guardians Vol. 3.

[fitemebitch]

I spent my two-hour layover mourning the two halves of my Ovation. Help me save others from the same fate!

[fitemebitch]

[fitemebitch]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[fitemebitch]

The teenager at my job is so funny, she jokingly asked how my break was after I came back from the bathroom and after I said "can't a bitch change their pad in peace?" She said "a real nine to fiver would get a hysterectomy." There was no hesitation, no gap between what I said and what she said

[fitemebitch]

Just read that piece of shit "Macbeth" and I can't BELIEVE that so many people on this hellsite are sucking Shakespeare's dick when that sick motherfucker keeps ROMANTICIZING literal murder and fucked-up relationships!