froggyfootsoldier

[froggyfootsoldier]

*hypnotising my stomach* oooooooo you wanna tolerate lactose sooooooooo baddddddd oooooooooo

[froggyfootsoldier]

At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.

[froggyfootsoldier]

pre-fame hozier tweeting this casually in 2012 like it isn’t the best fucking joke i’ve ever heard in my life, decimating all my brain cells instantly

[froggyfootsoldier]

one of my favorite things my dear friend niamh and i joke abt with both of us being mass effect fans is that we will almost exclusively refer to the illusive man as bill clinton

#mass effect #bioware #illusive man #mass effect 2 #mass effect 3

[froggyfootsoldier]

sometimes coworkers whom i do not know very well share information about themselves with me that you could not extract from me via waterboarding

#and i'm an oversharer! it came free with the autism #but whew i now know so much. too much

[froggyfootsoldier]

What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?

[froggyfootsoldier]

i accidentally napped and had a dream (nightmare?) where a new update for stardew valley released where everything was the same except on a random day in year 3 Evelyn would just straight up die. There was a whole cutscene that started in her house where she collapsed, and then transitioned over to the hospital where Harvey gave George and Alex the worst news of their lives. However, they got to speak to her where she said something along the lines of "Yoba will protect me, and I am sure he will let me watch over you."

Alex and George would not talk to the player for more than a few words for a full season after this event. George would spend most of his time in the bedroom, so if you had less than 2 hearts with him, you could barely ever speak to him.

And Alex... oh my god, poor Alex. If you were married to him during this event, he just stayed in bed all day. Otherwise, if single, he would just stand on the beach most of the time, staring off into the ocean. If you tried to interact with him, it would just say "Alex is grieving... Better leave him be."

There was also other NPC dialogue like mayor Lewis saying "I haven't seen the community in this state of mourning since your grandfather passed..."

there was also a glitch where you could make Evelyn live forever and there were entire guides for the "immortal Evelyn glitch" that got patched out in the next update. If you tried to perform the glitch after the patch, mr. Qi would tell you that "hey, it happens to all of us. We can't prevent it, and neither can you, no matter how hard you try."

[froggyfootsoldier]

Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again

[froggyfootsoldier]

Apparently dating back to 2015, the almost 10 year old shitpost generator does show its age, but all the more it beautifully captures the tone and style of tumblr shitposts of the era. It's not dated, as much as it is a historical artefact.

#i saw a bird once and you can't tell me they dont enjoy worms

[froggyfootsoldier]

wish i could call in bitchy to work

[froggyfootsoldier]

[froggyfootsoldier]

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination

[froggyfootsoldier]

couldnt stop fucking thinking about this all day at work

[froggyfootsoldier]

the dick must be insane

[froggyfootsoldier]

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

[froggyfootsoldier]

[froggyfootsoldier]