When I touch someone, anyone, I feel incredibly aware that I am touching human flesh that is alive, that there is organs underneath and it feels so fragile and rotten. When someone hugs me I feel so uncomfortale! But then I am so jealous of other people thouching each other.
I don't know if I want to force myself because when I do I lose something in me which is supposed to stay away from others and when I don't I feel isolated and envious.
I have to make a file on a subject of my choice for my baccalaureate (I'm french studying in france) and I was thinking on doing it on the mother figure and how it influences the construction and evolution of our identity, but I don't see how I could explain that to my mother... She would take it soo bad.