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Luka
Luka,
When we started, we pitched real-time flows from SPP to caiso for $2 a year. They got $20 bank loan just in case we needed it for west expansion. Then it turns out our balance sheet was decent so only needed to use existing EDC LC facility and maybe $5 cash. But all the ties we won TX race on were on outage all summer. We didn’t have CAISO certification until late July, missing the heat June 2021. Not the best start.
But we grinded 15 in first year, which funded transmission and RFP strategy. Year 2 it was a $20 year but caiso decided to blow up. With $70 we got even more credit and put on a big term tx hedged strategy for year 3.
The hedge we put on was supported by Risk. But Owners weren’t comfortable with $15 drawdown while just taking to settle without managing the position. Cash also became an issue when we pushed the limit to $100 peak usage. But it turned out to be a good trade, bounced back and we collected extra $15 on the hedges.
Now year 4, we got another $30-100 of credit facility. Now onto marketing/flow deals, able to put on 1G Quarterly phys position. With a baseline marketing revenue we are able to have maximum term flexibility being long gamma, without the obligation to hedge. Being 100% free in the cash market allowed us to maximize short term vol without being married to term. This proved to be antifragile in January.
With the confidence, a stronger team covering operational duties, we now move onto environmental, term, CRR flow, and possibly battery businesses.
The middle class always fights their way into upper class, or die trying. It’s slim pickings at the bottom of the ladder. We cannot stop others from competing to rise to the top; but we are at our best when we venture into the unknown, without anybody to follow.
As such we are competing for 5-year transmission, in an effort to be the backstop in Mid-C. We are venturing out into 2025 market. We are also actively looking for tolls where extrinsic value lies.
At some point we will have to take on term, and that starts with deal flows, information, and trial and error.
You stand at the crossroads much like where Reggie and I stood years ago. Your sharpness, hustle, and commercial focus will become a cornerstone of this desk. Limits will have to be earned based on trust and relationship forged with risk officer and the owners.
There will be synergies, and I believe we will find solutions where credit and limits will no longer be a limiting factor.
Like Ivan Denisovich, we adapt to the environment and thrive, because there is no other choice. Only through trial by fire will we master how Steel was Tempered.
The risk you take today will be rewarded tomorrow.
Mike
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gratitude and desire
desire - Lucius Verus
is to imagine having something u don’t have.
The presence of something absent.
gratitude
the absence of something currently present. What would it be like if you didn’t have this.
journal of people and things I’m grateful for or I can learn from.
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男人是什么？
阳光下像个孩子
风雨里像个大人
Zooming down Elbow made me feel like a kid. How else to embrace the essence of Mother Nature than to chase after Sunshine?
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Worthy Traits of a Trader
It's been almost three years at Dynasty. We had our annual ski trip in Kananaskis this weekend. It was not merely a warm, spring getaway, but more so a team-building event where we shared our own versions of the most worthy trait of a trader.
Bomb First. It's amazing to see how big the Dynasty family has grown in the past three years. Jill had asked me to say a few things. I have no words to describe Al and G's courage and vision; but if they want the bomb, then it's Bomb First from 'pac: "It's not about East or West, Money or Power, Riders or Punks, it's about the journey of the individual, and the journey of Dynasty as a whole." Perhaps some don't realize, but each one of us represents the best of what we do. The level of maturity, professionalism and unpretentiousness is second to none. I truly enjoy building a personal relationship with each individual at Dynasty, be it front, mid, or back-office.
No event is a Dynasty event without Liar's Dice. I missed the first night but apparently Al won the first game and Eric Cho won the second; like father like son. The guys were so loud that they got kicked out of Daniel's hospitality room by security, where they finished the rest of the night in the lobby till 3:30, but proceeded to losing the dices!! Fortunately we salvaged the second night by digging through the village convenient store where the Japanese storeowner realized the economic rent of a dollar a dice.
"Let's go Big Daddy!" I've always respected our east head trader, Ed Mazzacano's class and reputation. Saturday night I observed first hand how he bested all of us with stellar risk management and crisp execution. Ed breeds and race horses on the side. One of the horses Ed raised was called Big Daddy, thus earning him the nickname. Despite having more than 20 years of experience in the industry, he's still got the sharpness of a 20-year old. Drew, Cam and I also had our moments.
Not all had survived the witching hour. Warren, Monk, Tariq, Ethan and I went up to Dan's room to finish the night. We tasted Suntory - a Japanese whisky; discussed how lucky we were; explored successful traits of traders. We concluded that meta-issue why certain traders fail is that they all possess some level of insecurity. Conversely, we shared our individual flavors of meta-traits - Warren's Persistence, Monk's Responsibility, Dan's Passion, Ethan's Confidence, and Tariq's Balls of Steel. I thought about execution, but since some had alluded to it so it's got to be Knowledge.
Why So Serious? Alright, you got me. We've also started a tradition where the newest trader needs to toast each table with a speech. Poor Drew. Also - Here's our faithful Treek holding Oban!
Until next year.
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bourgeoisie vs proletariat
我不买房，我不消费，不用花呗，不用借呗，不结婚，不生孩子，不给资本方培养下一代的劳动力，看他们怎么继续去剥削。
Proceed to import millions of migrants.
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难念的经
吞风吻雨葬落日未曾徬徨 欺山赶海践雪径也未绝望
拈花把酒偏折杀世人情狂 凭这两眼与百臂或千手不能防
天阔阔雪漫漫共谁同航 这沙滚滚水皱皱笑着浪荡
贪欢一饷偏教那女儿情长埋葬
97天龙八部 BGM
国语版 最强版本
youtube
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On Sadat
你是个恶霸，你对门有个邻居，人很高很胖，但武力不行，你们俩关系不好，他打不过你。
你天天欺负他，白天两耳光晚上踹三脚，你知道他打不过你，所以你从来不怕。
直到有一天，你睡着的时候，他偷偷撬开了你的门锁，拿刀架在了你的脖子上。你的脖子感到冰凉的一刹那，你醒了，一个翻身滚下床去，赶快手脚并用的把他赶走了。
把他赶出门后，你坐在床上，摸摸脖子上的血印，慢慢明白过味了。第二天早晨，你出门买了两条烟四瓶酒，敲响了对面的房门—兄弟，过去的事是我不对，以后咱俩别再冲突了，和平相处好不好
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爱的能力 - the ability to love
莫言曾说:"低级的男人是不可能给你爱的，
也给不出爱来，爱是高手才拥有的能力。
因为爱是一种代价，一种付出，一种非常智慧的东西;
爱是需要财富地位和物质的，帮人提供谋略和战术，给人极致的服侍，给人情绪价值和物质。
普通人的爱是生理激素。
真正的爱是非常难得的，因为能够付出爱的人本身能量就很大，爱至少是一种持续付出与给予的能力。"
有能力爱自己，也有能力爱人的人，才是有福之人。
女孩子也有爱人的能力，不要总把女孩子归纳到被爱的一方。
普通人只有解决温饱，才有闲暇时间和精力去谈情说爱，否则仅仅为生活奔波劳碌就够忙活了，哪里能顾及得了情爱。
爱，间接来讲是一种消耗，能量层次低的人，是没有能力生出爱的。
注意了，是能量层次低而不是财富层次高低。
老舍在《骆驼祥子》里讲过:爱是人中龙凤才给得起的东西，真正的情种只会出生于大富之家。
有财力有内涵修养、充满灵性的人，才给的起，愿意给，不算计和权衡利弊。
普通人仅仅活着就已经耗尽全力，尔虞我诈权衡利弊为自己谋划，哪里还给得出去真正的爱，哪里有时间精力当"情种"。
说白了，爱情，就是吃饱了没事干，才去干的事情。
爱，是一种持续付出与给予的能量，没有做到的人谈不到爱，碰到一起只是为了搭伙过日子，或者一时的欢愉罢了。
单方面做到会被认为是恋爱脑，双向奔赴的更是凤毛麟角。
这种能量并不一定要大富大贵，但要发自内心的爱别人，真的是一种很稀缺的能力。
一般原生家庭氛围很好，又很有爱的人才懂是什么样子。
就像养花，把花养活只需要浇水，但把花养好需要有一定的思维，眼界，能量，好的伴侣是相互成就的共同进退。
经济基础决定上层建筑，当你食不果腹的时候，爱就不会是你的第一选择。
想要给予爱，首先要自己充满爱，不要自己什么都没有，还奢望高配的爱。
本能的爱是不求回报的，更是付出，因为感情里没有对错;
也是教养，爱是需要用心的，真的爱你，你能感受到。
只有享受过爱，才能感受到爱，才有爱人的能力。
爱人是能力，被爱是运气。
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最强北漂
毛主席说的：
我的职位如此之低，以致人们都不屑和我来往。我的工作之一就是登记来馆读报的人名，不过这般人大半都不把我放在眼里。
这许多人名之中，我认为有几个新文化运动著名的领袖，是我十分敬仰的人想和他们讨论关于政治和文化的事情，不过他们都是极忙的人，没有时间来倾听一个南边口音的图书馆佐理员所讲的话。
但是，我并不因此而丧气，我仍然参加哲学研究会和新闻学研究会，想借此能听大学里的课程。
我自己在北平的生活是十分困苦的。我住在一个叫“三眼井”的地方，和另外七个人合住一个小房间。我们全体挤在炕上，连呼吸的地方都没有，每逢我翻身都得预先警告身旁的人。
不过，在公园和故宫的宫址，我看到了北国的早春；在坚冰还盖着北海的时候，我看到了怒放的梅花；北京的树木引起了我无穷的欣赏。
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爱自我
世界上99%的人都是内心残缺的人，只有1%的人是内心完整的人。真爱只发生在两个内心完整的人之间，而两个1%的人相遇的几率则是万分之一，这就是为什么真爱如此稀缺的原因。人生是一场修行，只有修到内心完整，才能搞到爱情入门的资格，这个门槛很高，所以把99%的人排除在外。只有当一个人实现了自我圆满，能够做到爱自己，爱满则已，才会真正的对别人好，学会爱别人。
每个人都是独立的个体，爱情是两个独立的小舟彼此接近的过程，不是一个人终于上了另一个人的贼船。因为一舟只负一人重，这个世界上没有任何一个人能为你的幸福负责。千万不要试图从另一个人那里获得幸福，我们必须有一种把自己变得完整且幸福的能力。我们终其一生都在寻找那个和自己灵魂相近的人，最后发现唯一能契合的只有自己。
人生的最高境界就是爱上了自己。当一个人真正爱上自己之后，就再也无法爱上别人了，因为爱自己的感觉实在太美好了。要想爱上自己，首先要真正懂自己，懂自己的特别、特长以及使命，懂自己的欲望、缺点和局限。其次是要对自己好，每一秒都在为自己而活。比如不让外人的评价打扰自己，不再为他人的错误去买单，也不随便让他人闯入自己的生命，这时世界不再有别人，所以能全然的关注自己，关心自己。当你真正爱上自己，每一刻都活在当下，都在享受美好，这也是生命的最高境界。
早一天明白这个道理的人，不仅会早一天看穿世界，也会早一天获得真正的幸福。无论你跟谁在一起，你到最后遇到的都是自己，一个更加完整的自己。生活就是一场修行，我们必须有一种自我蜕变的勇气，然后你才能享受世界的美好，否则无论你换多少个伴侣，命运都是一样纠结。最终你会发现，幸福是你一个人的事情，和外界毫无关系。
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untethered Soul - Michael Singer
here's a summary of each chapter of "The Untethered Soul" in one line:
The Voice Inside Your Head: Understanding the constant chatter of your inner voice.
Your Inner Roommate: Recognizing the presence of your inner critic and learning to detach from it.
Who Am I?: Exploring the concept of self and identity.
The Lucid Self: Embracing consciousness as the true essence of self.
Infinite Energy: Tapping into the boundless energy within you.
The Conscious You: Understanding the difference between your consciousness and the objects of consciousness.
Turning In: Learning to direct your awareness inward.
Letting Go of False Solidity: Releasing attachments to external things and ideas.
Stealing Freedom for Your Soul: Understanding how to free yourself from limiting beliefs.
The Spiritual Path of Nonresistance: Embracing the flow of life without resistance.
Taking Down the Walls: Breaking down barriers that hinder your spiritual growth.
Removing Your Inner Thorn: Healing past wounds and releasing emotional pain.
Living a Life of Surrender: Embracing surrender as a path to inner peace and freedom.
Absolute Freedom: Attaining true freedom by transcending the ego.
The Loving Eyes of God: Seeing the world through the lens of unconditional love and compassion.
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Neon Genesis Evangelion
on why Asuka kissed Shinji:
In Neon Genesis Evangelion, there are several instances of characters kissing Shinji, but one significant moment occurs when Asuka Langley Soryu kisses Shinji in the hospital. This event happens during a deeply emotional and tumultuous period for both characters.
Asuka's motivations for kissing Shinji are complex and can be interpreted in various ways:
Seeking Validation: Asuka often struggles with feelings of insecurity and a need for validation. The kiss may be a way for her to seek confirmation of her worth and desirability, especially during a vulnerable moment when she feels particularly low.
Connection: Asuka and Shinji both experience profound loneliness and isolation throughout the series. The kiss could be an attempt by Asuka to establish a deeper emotional connection with Shinji, albeit in a moment of desperation and confusion.
Escape: Asuka's behavior can be erratic and unpredictable, driven by her own insecurities and trauma. The kiss may serve as a momentary escape from her own emotional turmoil, seeking solace in the physical intimacy of the moment.
Manipulation: Some interpretations suggest that Asuka's kiss is a form of manipulation, either to gain power over Shinji or to distract him from his own emotional struggles. However, this interpretation is debatable and depends on one's perspective of Asuka's character.
Ultimately, the significance of the kiss is open to interpretation and can be seen as a reflection of Asuka's complex emotions and the turbulent dynamics between the characters in Neon Genesis Evangelion.
On how Shinji was motivated by the kiss:
Asuka's kiss in Neon Genesis Evangelion can be seen as a pivotal moment that affects Shinji in various ways, motivating him in both positive and negative ways:
Validation and Confidence: The kiss may provide Shinji with a sense of validation and confidence, affirming his worth and desirability. It could temporarily boost his self-esteem and provide him with a sense of connection and acceptance, especially considering his ongoing struggles with loneliness and self-doubt.
Emotional Turmoil: However, the kiss also contributes to Shinji's emotional turmoil. Shinji's relationship with Asuka is complex and fraught with tension, and the kiss may deepen his confusion and inner conflict. It could further blur the lines between genuine affection and manipulation, leaving Shinji feeling even more uncertain about his emotions and relationships.
Motivation for Understanding: Asuka's actions, including the kiss, prompt Shinji to reflect on his own feelings and motivations. It may motivate him to seek a deeper understanding of himself and his relationships with others, driving him to confront his own insecurities and fears.
Determination to Act: Depending on how Shinji interprets the kiss, it could also motivate him to take action or make decisions regarding his role as an Eva pilot and his involvement in the conflicts surrounding him. It may serve as a catalyst for Shinji to reevaluate his priorities and motivations, potentially influencing his actions in the future.
Overall, Asuka's kiss serves as a catalyst for Shinji's internal struggles and character development, motivating him to confront his emotions, relationships, and role in the world of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
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