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GIRL

#been laughing at this for like an hour

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nightmare blunt rotation my id, ego, and superego

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Detail from Lorenzo & Isabella by John Everett Millais

#meee

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(guy whos scared of everything and feels guilty about everything) sorry i got scared and felt guilty

#im thinking of someone who rhymes with splarmy splerzatto

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With every year that passes this sketch just gets funnier.

#moss & roy my beloveds 💘

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Illustration by Dylan C. Lathrop.

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#its no 'tek care lambs ont road' but its good

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Life’s barely long enough to get good at one thing. […] If that long.

#“mostly got drunk at notre dame” LIES #i know his ass was in the galleries #little texas boy moved to tears in front of a caravaggio in the louvre #frozen there all 🧍🏼‍♂️🥺️🧍🏼‍♂️🥺️ while everyone else is milling by #until eventually a member of staff has to politely come tell him the museum is closing #anyways if you listen very closely to this scene you will hear me screaming Noooo its not too late in the game #go get your pgce and become a high school art teacher like the lord intended #kill childress en route obvi but once those stab wounds have healed. it is off to college with you missy!!!! 🤨

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i accidentally hit a bug and totaled my car

#chrissy shit

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Like cigarettes lowkey sooo good for u when I smoked them I was outside all the time walked around all the time spent more time off my phone and shit super regular Also was able to make great friends like they’re so good for u

#literally said out loud the other day that smoking is the only time i take deep mindful breaths 😩😩😩

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#this is so fucking funny #THE THOUGHTFUL ORAL #and also can i rent her for an hour to organise my spice cupboard. does she do house calls. being serious #those people daddydom-ifying him thats cool that's cool but have you considered he could be mommy ......

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We need to stop letting people who dont like body hair speak. About anything.

#im so blessed bc im a naturally hairy babe #like not just the classics. everywhere #fuzzy face fuzzy tummy fuzzy back #monobrow slay ofc #when i lay in the sun it looks like im covered in gossamer

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#this is the dream cake actually

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#the uniform

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me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

#little me learning about .99 pricing from the movie matilda: adults are stupid #me now as an adult:

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CHARLI XCX. The Face Magazine.

#charliiiiiiiiii