godshitsinmydinner

[godshitsinmydinner]

#i had to

[godshitsinmydinner]

bluelionhearted​:

@godshitsinmydinner​

Introducing himself to a new patron was always stressful.

What was worse, though, was the fact that he’d effectively had to sneak out under the noses of Alice and Dedue. It wasn’t that their concern wasn’t appreciated, really! But this was still Ashe’s job, and a new vampire on the block meant a new source of money.

Money that he found himself desperately needing after losing his last benefactor. His sister was hitting another growth spurt, and those clothes wouldn’t pay for themselves.

Still, Ashe couldn’t shake the eerie feeling that he was being watched as he made his way up the drive towards the dilapidated ruins of the castle - though he couldn’t see anyone.

Trevor hated the days he was put on town-errand duty. It was enough that he had to haggle with townsfolk, but the last time he had spent the extra change on ale, the other two had never let him hear the end of it. He hoped the two coins left in his pocket were worth it...

Though he nearly dropped their groceries on the ground when someone else was approaching the castle. Someone he most certainly didn’t recognize. A lost traveler perhaps? Or perhaps someone very stupid. They certainly didn’t look like a hunter.

“You lost or something?” he grunted, calling out just loud enough to get their attention.

#bluelionhearted

[godshitsinmydinner]

youwillbevictory‌:

She might have pointed out that Integra was in her office but Trevor was already headed in that direction.  Knocking on the door she opened it as soon as Integra gave the permission to come in. The older woman stood in front of her window, hands behind her back.  “Thank you, Seras.  That will be all.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”  With a little nod the vampire ducked out of the room.  

“Trevor.” Integra turned around to look him over.  He looked better than he usually did.  That was a plus.  “I expect Seras told you something already.”

“Only that Aiden is going out somewhere and needs backup.” Trevor leaned his hands on the desk, staring at Sir Integra from across it. “No details. But considering you’re sending me, I take it it’s not an easy walk through the park?”

#youwillbevictory #Hellsing AU

[godshitsinmydinner]

youwillbevictory‌:

“She’s got a mission for you should you choose to accept it.   I don’t know the details but I think she wants you to provide back up for Doctor Aiden.” She knew that Aiden didn’t require the title, preferring a more casual relationship with his coworkers but she couldn’t quite get rid of the habit.

“Doctor Aiden... the hell’s the egghead got planned?” Either way he stretched himself out, trudging for Sir Integra’s office while scratching at his chin. “I’ll go hear her out, I’ll go...”

#youwillbevictory #Hellsing AU

[godshitsinmydinner]

youwillbevictory‌:

@godshitsinmydinner

“Oh good.  You’re home!”  Seras had been looking all over for the vampire hunter and at high speed given her panting breaths.  

Not that she had to breathe but it was habit still.  Vampirism took longer than fifty years to wipe out the instinctive need humans had.  “Sir Integra would like to talk to you if you have time.”

“Sir Integra...” Given how Seras had apparently been up and down the mansion twice, from her body language, it had to be pretty urgent. Not that Trevor was terribly confident in that... if anything it filled him with dread.

“What for?”

#youwillbevictory #Hellsing AU

[godshitsinmydinner]

“... what the fuck.”

#dash commentary #what the hell did I just tab back in to?

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

@godshitsinmydinner

Hector had finally managed to make it upstairs to the rest of his pets, judging by the occasional spotting of a half decayed animal.  Most stayed out of sight of the others, all except Little Cezar.  

And a tattered looking tortoiseshell cat that just now decided to twine around Trevor’s feet.

Well, the cat was a surprise. It nearly looked ready to fall apart, but Trevor had honestly gotten used to some of the macabre critters running around their abode now.

Still, he found himself just staring down at the cat, a hand still on the mug of ale in hand. “... well aren’t you friendly?”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

seegodhatesme‌:

Sypha put a hand on her hip, cocking her head as she watched Trevor struggle to collect himself. He wasn’t nearly as out of it as he tended to be when someone stirred him from his usual hangover-induced slumber - and she figured he was being truthful enough.

“I honestly do not even know where to start,” Sypha sighed, giving a dismissive flick of her hand as she settled on the chair next to the spot where Trevor was half-seated. “But I think we might need to double down on our vampire fighting strategies if we are to make it out of the next year alive.”

She spread her hands out, gesturing to his tired form. “I wanted to put you at the forefront of that. If anyone knows how to train us to fight vampires specifically, it would be you. As much as it may be a bad idea, I was wondering if you could teach us a few things before Carmilla comes knocking down our front door.”

Trevor was mostly silent as she spoke, save for a soft ‘hmmm’ as he rubbed at his stubble. She had a point: now with Carmilla being a known threat, they were going to have to prepare before it was too late. He would have been lying if he said it hadn’t occupied some of his thoughts.

“... first we check the hold,” he started, swinging his legs to more properly sit in his chair. “We see what weapons we have, and if anything what we need to get. From there I can teach you what I know as far as dealing with the monsters with what we have.”

It seemed he was on a roll; the more awake he became, the more he was thinking on. “We need to check for salt, maybe see if Charity can bless water without it catching on fire.... she IS a nun, even if she’s a strange as hell one...”

#seegodhatesme

[godshitsinmydinner]

@seegodhatesme​ @sulkyhalfvampirebastard​

castlevania + text posts

bonus:

#last of the line #sulky half vampire bastard #See? God hates her!

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

“I imagine Charity knows.” Hector answered tiredly.  The look of dismay on the man’s face told him that Trevor hadn’t considered Carmilla as immediate threat.  A faint glimmer of grim satisfaction at letting those that might be able to stop her flickered inside of him. 

“I haven’t been awake long enough to tell anybody else.” He hesitated before giving a grim chuckle.  “Or felt comfortable enough to approach me.” 

Well this wasn’t good. Part of him wasn’t terribly surprised--of course an empty spot would want to be filled--but some part of him had hoped that the defeat of Lord Dracula would have had the other vampires backing down. Wishful thinking, he supposed.

Trevor forced a sigh out his nose, trying not to make too big a show of how hard the news hit. “I’ll tell the others then. Anything else we need to know?”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

Castlevania Season Two Sentence Starters

Do you pretend these things are not witchcraft? I can’t promise your safety if you harm me! I like boats, I’m a fucking Viking! We’re supposed to make boats out of things! The moment you came out of me I knew you were wrong! This is supposed to be where you tell me I’m not alone. That’s your encouraging talk? That’s because everyone else is a piece of shit. Threaten me all you like, I will die for him if I don’t kill you first. You will cease this infantile squabbling! What advantage does my anger buy you? Villagers, pitchforks, torture – the usual… I’m still not entirely clear on why you don’t catch fire in daylight. The sun will still set, but you will not be here to see it. Imagine it, a world without humans. Even after everything in your life you’re still a sweet boy who believes in love. I want of all things a pure world, a clean world where there’s only loyalty and pure love. Running water, I haven’t heard of that affecting vampires before. Your skills are a legend. I can promise a merciful end to the human plague. Congratulations, you’ve just discovered a giant piece of stone. Moved or chased? The memory of my family…all that’s left of us. Here it all is, then. The last of us. What on earth is that ugly thing? It feels like a museum dedicated to the extermination of my people. If you kill all the humans, what are we going to eat? Pig blood gives me the shits! This isn’t war, this is a suicide. He’s pissing me off like it’s his job. If you love something you act to keep it with you for as long as you can. Are you prepared to abandon (…) in order to win the war? I will be loyal to the end, and beyond. Human corruption is a stain on the world. It’s not betrayal unless (…) decides to be difficult about it. The end of this will be practically merciful. I have come to the conclusion that my people are idiots. I discovered an entire box of spells about penises. You think of vampires as animals? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you try to tell a joke before. Soon the world will be silent. There was a time when I would relish the details. That’s all that matters. They all have to die. You’re an evil looking bastard, aren’t you? I’m armed with– with a stick! So… I’ll understand if you want to run away now. What the fuck just happened? Behind me, (…). They will not reach you while I live! You are the greatest of your people, (…).   You died when (…) died. You know it. You ended a war on humankind, don’t get all weepy about it. We really messed up the old house, didn’t we? What do you think he’s going to do now? You’re giving me your home? Keep moving, I’m not in the mood. I simply don’t want to deal with shits like you every time I want to sit and have a drink. Shall we find some more people to add to our merry band? If you didn’t talk much people might just think you’re my pet bear and throw food at you. Is the sun down yet? (…), you look like shit. Is this how the castle felt to you before (…) first arrived at your door?

[godshitsinmydinner]

seegodhatesme‌:

@godshitsinmydinner​

“..Trevor.”

Sypha gently prodded at the back of his head with two fingers. “I hope you are not passed out drunk again, because there is something I wish to discuss with you.”

Aside from the fact that he needed to stop drinking so much. Sypha was starting to worry that one day she’d go to shake him awake and he just wouldn’t stir. Funny as it had been to poke fun at him in the beginning, living with Trevor as long as they had meant that Alucard and Sypha had begun to notice the way Trevor tended to use drink to self-medicine, well.. everything.

“Not drunk--!” The words were quick as he was shaken from his sleep, followed by a groan as he dragged his hands down his face. He couldn’t have been comfortable as he was, half in the chair and half on the floor, but honestly he could not remember falling asleep. He sure hoped it wasn’t from being drunk...

“What’re we discussing now...?”

#seegodhatesme

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

Hector wasn’t going to argue.  He had, after all, betrayed Dracula for many of the same reasons his son had.  It was just that Hector had been manipulated into acting on his misgivings and Alucard had chosen for himself. 

“You’ve got bigger problems than Dracula.” He finally stated.  “…Carmilla’s intent on taking his place.” 

The revelation came like a bucket of ice water. With the hole Dracula’s death created, someone still remained to try and take his place. Seems there was no rest for the wicked... or those hunting the wicked. They couldn’t rest now.

“Do the other’s know?”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

Pale blue eyes stared at the Hunter for a long moment.  His fingers absently scratched behind Little Cezar’s ear.  He couldn’t blame Trevor for his opinion, even if Hector wasn’t entirely sure what he felt. 

“Dracula wasn’t always like that.” He finally stated, although his voice was more tired than intent.  He had no energy to argue against Dracula’s many faults.

He wasn’t always like that. Alucard had said the same, though Trevor could never quite picture what such a time would have looked like.  Maybe in a perfect world, he could have convinced him to go back to that person...

But this was reality. The man wasn’t going to change, and they had done what they needed to... even at the cost of the scars it left on Alucard’s heart.

“Maybe so... but people change. That and... what’s done is done. Now we find a way to deal with it.”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

Hector shook his head, his eyes closing.  He knew what he had done and in the end this was likely his punishment.  He had thought he would die in the dungeon.  “It’s probably nothing you haven’t heard before.  I betrayed my master and friend which lead to his death.” 

Because he had finally decided that Dracula’s methods, no matter how noble they had started out to be, were wrong.

“Your master was an asshole.” Blunt, but when was Trevor one for the not-so-callous way? “But he’s dead now. Don’t have to deal with him again...”

He hummed a bit, then added in a lower voice. “Just... don’t bring it up for a while around Alucard, all right? It’s... still pretty sore for him.”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

zombieanimalwhisperer‌:

Hector snorted in what could have been bitter laughter.  He had to wince however as the motion jarred his bruised ribs.  Not quite healed yet.  “You could say that.”  He eyed Trevor for a long moment.  

“No comment on how I brought it on myself?” 

“I got told the gist,” Trevor sighed, waving a hand in loose emphasis. “Went on a goose chase trying to figure out what the hell happened, but it’s been... an uproar. not quite chaos.”

“... unless you have a version you want to tell me yourself?”

#zombieanimalwhisperer

[godshitsinmydinner]

He's showing you his favorite finger.

“As for the Belmont, he’s just a drunken lunatic.”

#unleashedcerberus