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25/5

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demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

#oh huh #demisexuality #some good wording for things that can be hard to explain

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there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

#dungeon meshi

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its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000%

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re: google AI. seriously. do you want machine generated misinformation or do you want to come here, to our beloved tumblr, and receive specially hand crafted misinformation. support real artists, guys. come to tumblr for your misinformation

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None of this should made me laugh as much as it did

#k and i laughed so hard at this whole sequence of events #dungeon meshi #laios' disappointment and grumpy faces are so funny

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it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply so not enjoy being treated like shit.

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How do you keep going during the dark times?

An hour at a time. Sometimes a minute at a time.

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I apologize if you’ve been asked this question before I’m sure you have, but how do you feel about AI in writing? One of my teachers was “writing” stories using ChatGPT then was bragging about how good they were (they were not good) and said he was going to sell them. To put aside any legal concerns in that, I’m just trying to talk him down from that because, personally, I would not enjoy dream job being taken by AI.

The poor man.

Many magazines have closed their submission portals because people thought they could send in AI-written stories.

For years I would tell people who wanted to be writers that the only way to be a writer was to write your own stories because elves would not come in the night and do it for you.

With AI, drunk plagiaristic elves who cannot actually write and would not know an idea or a sentence if it bit their little elvish arses will actually turn up and write something unpublishable for you. This is not a good thing.

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#absolutely

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The Canadians are coming in hard

#hahahhahahaha

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nothing delights me more then when someone reads a new work you just posted and then proceeds to go through whatever else you have in that fandom it's like watching someone check out all your books at the library

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#'it's always the quiet ones' people say when i express an opinion that shocks them #because they never bothered to find out who i am instead of just making assumptions

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The video for Whitney Houston's I wanna dance with somebody is so crisp (wait for it to go into color). There's like 3 instances of old footage that didn't get upscaled or remastered or whatever they did, so you can see what it looked like once upon a time, but the quality is stunning and it looks like it was filmed today.

Obviously the fashion dates it, but it looks so good that you could be forgiven to think they're just costumes made in 2024. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but watching it makes me feel something less like nostalgia and more like she's still a young woman who's still dancing around. It's a very surreal and beautiful feeling.

#this is so joyful #whitney houston #music

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fog of war in the grocery store

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“Range Life” by Jordan Bolton

Part of Scenes from Imagined Films Issue #1, available on Etsy