herdreamywasteland

[herdreamywasteland]

what size do y'all think separates a pond from a lake

[herdreamywasteland]

Finding a new favorite fictional character is like, will you be temporary or will you become a permanent part of my personality for the next 10 years?

[herdreamywasteland]

Didn’t expect this to be so frightening

[herdreamywasteland]

Joking aside, the Millennium Falcon is not the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van.

The Millennium Falcon is the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van that's inexplicably been hot-rodded to have a top speed of 300 miles per hour, which is substantially funnier.

[herdreamywasteland]

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

[herdreamywasteland]

A hummingbird thought a man’s orange hat was a flower [x]

[herdreamywasteland]

Pro-tip to young trans guys:

If a stranger misgenders you, please please please do not ever utter the phrase, “I’m a man.” It sounds very unnatural and immediately sounds overly defensive.

My advice? Just look at the person like they’re an idiot and, in the deepest voice possible, say, “Uh. Alright, then.”

Just act as though they made a huge and obvious mistake, and don’t get flustered. If you’re comfortable with it, handle the situation with humor and say something like, “Man, I know I’ve got a babyface, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”

[herdreamywasteland]

I thought I was late to my appointment at the ADHD clinic but the ADHD clinic knows their clients well and the appointment reminded me to be here at 1:30 when my appointment was actually at 2:00.

Me: oh good I'm actually on time! :)

Me, realizing why and being overcome by the mortifying ordeal of being known: >:/

[herdreamywasteland]

soooo, what about ruby chocolate?

Remember guys if you think that milk chocolate should be considered evil because it is not as good as dark chocolate you are participating in the ancient heresy of Gnosticism thank you goodnight

[herdreamywasteland]

the time was not right

[herdreamywasteland]

the man the myth the legend

(he was gonna straight up shoot a guy)

[herdreamywasteland]

@certifiedlibraryposts

go visit your local library, ya bastards

[herdreamywasteland]

I love animals that are, like, the opposite of cryptids: we know for a fact they exist and have a clear idea of what they look like because we have photographs and individual specimens, but we haven’t the faintest idea where they’re coming from - they just keep showing up out of nowhere, and the locations of their actual population centres are a complete mystery.

[herdreamywasteland]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[herdreamywasteland]

[herdreamywasteland]

[herdreamywasteland]

Good evening to my short kings