holalana

[holalana]

the vampires got it right. life is about being bisexual and a little bit pathetic. and going through different levels of depressive episodes

[holalana]

i was not built for college but unfortunately i was also not built for anything else

[holalana]

Take Care: Mothers, Daughters, and Inheriting Self-Hatred, Ella Wilson

[holalana]

i miss him (fictional character that i can rewatch or reread at any time i want)

[holalana]

jesus christ was dead longer than misha collins was bi

[holalana]

The thing about Misha collins is that he makes me feel so much better about any embarrassing thing I’ve done in my life. If he can do this I can live thru giving the wrong answer in class. Thank you Misha collins best ally ever

[holalana]

kl hc: tik tok

OKAY but hear me out

kl tik tok au????

- lance is one of those try-hards who wants to blow up.

- he continues to do all the dumb but funny trends, and does a mix of everything from baked goods reviews (of hunk’s) to pranking pidge the same way for a week, to doing dancing trends

- keith aka redknife420 throws knives and tries to look badass in his videos, but he blows up just bc people think he’s hot.

- he genuinely thinks people like his cryptid tiktoks and knife throwing stuff.

- lance gets frustrated bc he knows redknife420 is hot and got popular for no reason, and his content slowly becomes him challenging redknife to do dumb trends

- they duet eachother a lot and end up becoming friends and realize they have mutual pining and similar humor

lol idk

[holalana]

ok but artist Keith is such a good headcanon... i like to imagine that his dad used to paint beautifully, from scenic landscapes to detailed portraits, and a very small but determined Keith wanted to join in! so one day, when Texas is sitting outside painting, he brings out another easel and some paints for Keith to try, too.

Keith studies his dad's movement's carefully, trying his best to imitate them, but although what Keith ends up with is remarkable for a kid his age, he's extremely frustrated that it didn't turn out Exactly how he'd pictured - he wanted to be as good as his dad! and so an angry Keith throws down his paint and storms away, declaring that that art is dumb and that he never wanted to be good at it anyway...

...until he comes back a few minutes later, creeping over to where his dad is still rendering the landscape, and quietly asks for some help. Texas, highly amused and very fond, takes Keith by the hand and begins to teach him, showing him the correct techniques and answering all his burning questions.

eventually, through a lot more tantrums and many paint splattered canvases, Keith learns. he becomes just as good as Texas - and picks up some extra skills too, like drawing and sketching. and through it, he learns patience. he learns how to express himself in a way that makes sense to him.

but then Texas passes away, and Keith just... stops, for a while. it's not really a conscious decision he made, but without his dad, the idea of doing art again seems pointless to him.

it's only when he meets Shiro and Adam and they take him in that they finally convince him to pick up a paintbrush again. his brushstrokes are shaky and unpracticed, yet familiar - achingly so. he can almost feel his father's hand on his, guiding his movements.

[holalana]

ok but artist Keith is such a good headcanon... i like to imagine that his dad used to paint beautifully, from scenic landscapes to detailed portraits, and a very small but determined Keith wanted to join in! so one day, when Texas is sitting outside painting, he brings out another easel and some paints for Keith to try, too.

Keith studies his dad's movement's carefully, trying his best to imitate them, but although what Keith ends up with is remarkable for a kid his age, he's extremely frustrated that it didn't turn out Exactly how he'd pictured - he wanted to be as good as his dad! and so an angry Keith throws down his paint and storms away, declaring that that art is dumb and that he never wanted to be good at it anyway...

...until he comes back a few minutes later, creeping over to where his dad is still rendering the landscape, and quietly asks for some help. Texas, highly amused and very fond, takes Keith by the hand and begins to teach him, showing him the correct techniques and answering all his burning questions.

eventually, through a lot more tantrums and many paint splattered canvases, Keith learns. he becomes just as good as Texas - and picks up some extra skills too, like drawing and sketching. and through it, he learns patience. he learns how to express himself in a way that makes sense to him.

but then Texas passes away, and Keith just... stops, for a while. it's not really a conscious decision he made, but without his dad, the idea of doing art again seems pointless to him.

it's only when he meets Shiro and Adam and they take him in that they finally convince him to pick up a paintbrush again. his brushstrokes are shaky and unpracticed, yet familiar - achingly so. he can almost feel his father's hand on his, guiding his movements.

[holalana]

I don't think you ever truly get over Jonmartin. Like you'll go weeks or even months without getting sad about them, and you'll think to yourself "I've finally healed" but you haven't. Because "John My Beloved", "I'll Follow You into the Dark", or "In The Best Case Scenerio...." will come on and you will break down.

[holalana]

my parents were like im going to make a daughter that is so beyond help

[holalana]

There's something so beautiful but so sad about these animated films where the main child protagonist has to be the one who fixes the generational trauma. Don't get me wrong, I know the point is that they're the catalyst for other family members to change (and I know they're fictional), but I wish that the main child protagonist didn't always have to go through personal grief and trauma before their family realized the errors of their ways. I wish it hadn't gotten to that point, you know? I wish it wasn't on their shoulders. It reminds me of that one quote: "The world family should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice."

[holalana]

i genuinely believe there’s a right time to watch certain movies so sometimes i’ll wait and wait until i know.

[holalana]

all of my favorite characters are just. exhausted. just so fucking tired. and I think that’s very iconic and relatable of them.

[holalana]

Biblical femininity (beheading a guy)

[holalana]

What’s this???

“Words on Bathroom Walls”????

A movie about a schizophrenic character that DOESN’T paint them as a dangerous psychopath, but rather a human being worthy of love and affection and happiness??????

Sign me the FUCK UP

[holalana]

A movie about mental illness will be like "I am more than my illness. I am worthy of love and people will stay." And then I end up crying for like an hour.