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"well if people don't like it..." he began with a shrug, "its their loss really. and they need to get their hearing checked" hyuntae believed that the backbone to any group was a variety of voices. if everyone had similar voices who would draw people in. tae chuckled feeling his gentle nudge and nudged him back.
"if im honest im a bit nervous about these songs. i don't think ive practiced my singing enough" tae was beginning to think he didn't have time for everything he wanted to do currently. he was so focused on everything else he didn't even get to dance as much as he wanted to.
hyuntae couldn't help but laugh again remembering the past. "sorry, i can't help but laugh. its funny"
a chuckle falls from junkyu, a small grin expressed across his face. "a little, yeah." he nods. "i always thought it was different in a way that people wouldn't like, because i've had it in the past where people have been surprised and not in the best ways. so it's surprising when people tell me my voice is unique in a good way." junkyu admits with a sheepish smile, taking in a deep breath. he looks at hyuntae, smile widening and gently nudges him. "thanks, man. that means a lot."
he nods again, humming gently. "hmm, that's true, or maybe they're trying new things? it's interesting to see what they all come up with though, how they make different things work." and it was true, at least to junkyu. so he can only wonder what they would do with something like his voice.
junkyu scoffs playfully, this time nudging hyuntae a little harder but still light enough that he didn't hurt him. "good, i'm glad you didn't see it, i hope no one did. a few people know about it though, but other than that, no one saw because it happened backstage before we went on luckily. and you better. i can't have it happen again."
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what did tae like about his ex-friend?
he took a deep breath and kept his vision up to the sky. "eh. i don't know." hyuntae wasn't someone who really looked into what exactly he liked about a person. he just liked them. probably more than they deserved. tae put everything he had into his closest relationships. even if it was something that could land him on his ass.
"maybe it was because he was my first friend who wasn't friends with me because of my brother or my money" he stated with a sigh. it had been such a long time ( to him ) since he had even thought about his friend. "back then i was smaller, he protected me many times." as he continued to talk, he began getting more anxious. so he put his hands together and subconsciously started picking at his thumbs.
"but if he was truly my friend he wouldn't have laughed in my face. i think that's the worst part. even if it wasn't intentional, he made me feel like a fool." tae whispered unlinking his fingers, picking up a nearby rock and throwing it into the water.
"if i could go back." he began taking a deep breath. "i wouldn't have said anything." it wasn't that he didn't like his life now. it didn't mean that he didn't trust the friends he had now. he just didn't trust his heart to be able to handle another rejection.
has rowon ever truly loved?
now that, dear reader, is the question of the hour.
how does one define love? is it a fluttering feeling, a flushed face, neatly sold as fairytale fantasy? or is it a commitment, an alliance, a vow to take care of and to be cared for? for rowon, it is none of the above. he sees love not as a possibility but as a potential loss. the more it hurts, the more he must love them.
hurt comes in many different shades: sadness and longing, anger and frustration, and his primary vice – jealousy. and it is jealousy that he feels when hyuntae starts to speak of this ex-best friend. it works its way into a frown, a pinched brow, narrowed eyes. this is the first time he’s hearing about this friend. this is the first time he’s hearing about hyuntae having loved and lost.
( in the farthest corner of his mind, a single, fleeting thought manifests – is he a replacement? someone to fill the gaps of a broken heart? is he, once again, second? )
rowon pushes the thought aside.
“i have,” he answers, taking a seat beside hyuntae. the tides curl at his toes. back in the day, this used to soothe him. “many times.” for someone so well-spoken, he’s at a loss for words, wondering if this is something he wants to talk about. in the end, he decides to divert it back to hyuntae. “tell me about this other best friend. what did you like about him?”
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week two
@lgceunwoo
hyuntae had been pretty busy lately. he, in no way, was going to complain about it though. being busy was his preferred state. being busy meant that he was being used by the company. week one was an adjustment. getting to perform their seniors' songs, felt like an honor to him. and most of the songs they were given were songs that hyuntae had already practiced by himself before. as a trainee hyuntae was very focused on proving that his dance ability was on the highest level. a level that would prove him to be a leader for others.
tae walked into the practice room and slid over to where eunwoo was. "ready to practice?" he stated with a smile. he hoped that he appeared more approachable now. he knew that in the past he could have been seen as too focused or too hard on others to do their best. granted he wanted to still be seen as strict, but he didn't want to seem that way in a bad way. "i really like the song this week"
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hyuntae was surprised when junkyu chuckled. "surprised?" he asked with a confused look on his face. but smiled non the less. "different isn't necessarily a bad thing." in many ways he felt like he was different. he was a foreigner with a korean name, he was a loner, and he was someone who was completely obsessed with dance. so in many ways he was talking about himself too. "i know i enjoy your voice, so i know others will too"
"plus, our managers or songwriters are responsible for accommodating our sound right? if we don't fit in the song well then it wasn't chosen properly" while he believed it was their job to do well, and to practice and do their part, it wasn't solely on them. they couldn't force their sound to be something different than it was.
"your pants ripped and i missed it?" hyuntae teased stretching his arms above his head. "well i'll watch out for you. i won't let you be embarrassed"
junkyu chuckles softly at hyuntae’s reply, glancing over at him. “really, you think? so you’re saying my voice is unique?” he teases lightly, feeling slightly happy at the compliment. “i always thought it sounded a bit different, but in a weird kind of way, guess i never thought of it that way before.” he responds, a soft hum tone to his words as he tilts his head slightly as he thinks.
he could see where hyuntae was coming from. his voice wasn’t like most, and while he found it difficult to find ways where his voice sounded good, he wonders if when he finally figures that out, that it could become a charming point for people.
a chuckle falls from him as he stretches his legs out in front of him. “honestly? i’ve participated in nostalgia before, so i know how it is. it was fun actually, definitely nerve wrecking the first time, and probably will be the same this time, maybe a bit more. since people saw me back then and after, they might expect a lot of me.. i guess we’ll see. but i’m looking forward to it, for sure. my pants ripped one week though, that wasn’t fun.”
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as he listened to rowon speak he sat down on the ground. letting the tide wash over his feet from time to time. "i know exactly how that feels" he whispers out. it was like rowon was speaking directly from tae's own experiences. he pulled his knees up to his chest and looked out to the wide open ocean. "a few years back, right before you joined i had fallen for my best friend." he confessed with a light laugh. but it wasn't a haha funny laugh, but of something of disbelief. "i finally had the guts to tell him, and he laughed in my face."
the memory wasn't something he enjoyed reliving. but he wanted to share some of his pain with rowon. it was like rowon had shared something from his heart, and he wanted to do the same. "for me its not the fear of getting hurt, pain heals. its the loss of the person in your life that is scary." because for hyuntae, he would swallow his feelings a thousand times to make sure rowon stayed in his life.
"from what you've said, i'm guessing you have felt the heartbreak too?" it wasn't really a question, more like a clarification.
“i would wait.”
as he turns towards the shore, it occurs to him that he has shards of a stranger’s broken heart in his hand. how desperate they must be to cast out such a crucial piece of themselves, knowing that they would never get it back. it’s a sentiment that rowon knows too well. when he loves, he does so with his entire mind, body, heart, and soul. he puts himself out there, all defenses down. if he gets hurt, then he’ll hurt. pain is a price he’s willing to pay to be by their side.
the tide crawls to where he stands, grasping at the wet sand for what it’s been missing. he rolls the note up and tucks it back into the bottle.
“have you ever had your heart broken?” the tide withdraws, empty-handed. “it’s this heavy, suffocating weight that sinks deeper and deeper into your soul – as if your heart’s been ripped out of your chest but your body doesn’t know it yet, so it’s trying to close in on itself to protect what’s keeping you alive. it hurts so much, it feels like you’re dying. and all you can think is never again, i’ll never let myself hurt like this again. so you shut everyone out. you become afraid to love and to be loved.”
he crouches down and lays the bottle on its side.
the tide comes and pries at his fingertips. he lets go.
“that’s when i would wait. seven years, ten years, a lifetime even. if i love someone, i won’t leave them behind. i don’t give up on people like that.”
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hyuntae smiled, placed his juice on the table and plopped down beside yunseo. there was a funny thing about his friendship with yunseo though. tae was able to let his guard down more, he was more playful and silly. he was less tense. so playfully to answer yunseo's question he laid down on the sofa was the back of his head playfully in yunseo's lap, and decided to answer looking up at him. "i'm ok. just another sunday. donating is a cake walk" he joked.
donating sometimes could make you sleepy, or irritable, but as long as you eat or rest you're fine. "i'll just rest here for a bit" he teased sticking out his tongue at his friend. "you choose show" he said handing him the remote.
@ hyuntaelgc
hearing the knock on the door he rushed over with his juice box in hand. "yunseo!" he stated happily as he opened the door and moving to the side letting his friend inside. "so there are a lot of shows we could watch. is there a certain one you wanna watch?" he stated taking another sip of his juice, walking over to the sofa. "i just recently watched kimi ni todoke. it was a sweet one. what about "i cannot reach you" or "until we meet again"?"
yunseo smiled the moment he saw the other. he thanked him quietly before sliding into dorm and quickly slid his shoes off. "should we flip a coin?" he said as he walked further into the home. he always loved hanging out with hyuntae. his energy was always phenomenal, and yunseo loved that he was able to joke and be silly around him.
he plopped down on the sofa and let out a soft groan as he stretched out. "how did the needle go today?" he asked him after a while. "you feeling okay?" he knew that the other went often to donate, but he had never hung out with him immediately after he did.
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blood donation was something that he did every week so it wasn't like he didn't know how his body would feel. hyuntae was someone who didn't connect well with most people. he had a love for dance and very few other things.
hearing the knock on the door he rushed over with his juice box in hand. "yunseo!" he stated happily as he opened the door and moving to the side letting his friend inside. "so there are a lot of shows we could watch. is there a certain one you wanna watch?" he stated taking another sip of his juice, walking over to the sofa. "i just recently watched kimi ni todoke. it was a sweet one. what about "i cannot reach you" or "until we meet again"?"
@ hyuntaelgc:
hyuntae knew it wasn't "fun" but to him it was bonding. quality time was one of the most important things to him when it came to his friendships.
Yunseo was more than excited to see the other males name pop up on his phone. He had always enjoyed speaking to Hyuntae, and loved that the two were getting to know each other a little bit better as of lately.
[ 𝐬𝐦𝐬 → 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐞 ] you're letting the vampires take your goods?
[ 𝐬𝐦𝐬 → 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐞 ] hehehehehe
[ 𝐬𝐦𝐬 → 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐞 ] 12 works fine for me! i'll start making my way to you around that time.
Yunseo was excited to get to spend time with Hyuntae, even if it was just watching some simple tv. He hadn't had a lot of downtime lately, so it was going to be nice to be able to see his new friend.
As it got closer to the time for him to head over, he quickly found himself getting ready and heading out of the door. Luckily, Hyuntae's dorms were in walking distance.
[ 𝐬𝐦𝐬 → 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐞 ] i'm on my way! i'll see you in like...5 minutes.
[ 𝐬𝐦𝐬 → 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐞 ] i hope you aren't too woozy from the blood loss lol
He slid his phone back into his pocket and quickly made his way toward the others dorm. Knocking on the door once he finally arrived, waiting patiently for the other to open the door for him.
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tae listened to what junkyu had to say. he was basically in the same boat. "i like your voice when you sing though. its not like others" he stated sitting down against the wall not far from junkyu. "i think your voice can make songs unique and fans will love it" it wasn't a lie. most of his favorite songs had a deep male voice in them. it was a nice talent to have. "i'm finding it ok, im glad that i was made to practice more earlier."
during spring boys he focused a lot on his singing so luckily he was able to improve through that experience. "are you nervous at all? if i'm honest, i am" hyuntae took a deep breath as he leaned his head against the wall.
singing was something that junkyu had always kind of struggled with. he knew his voice was typically more deep than most peoples, and when it came to singing, he just never could quite figure out how to make the tone of his voice sound good enough that it didn't sound weird. sure, he had definitely gotten better with it since he became a trainee, but he still didn't feel completely comfortable with it, and it was definitely something he wanted to work on. he knew that while his top skill was in rapping, that he couldn't completely rely on his rapping skills. not every song would have rapping parts, and he wanted to shine in other ways too, not just rapping.
he was familiar with beautiful pain, though it wasn't something he had listened to a lot, but it was still a song he enjoyed listening to when he was in the mood for some wind down music. he wasn't sure what the outcome of this team unknown thing was, but one thing that he knew, was that he would be trying his absolute best. something sanghyun had told him a while ago, 'to take on all opportunities you can', and coming from his senior, he would definitely listen to him.
junkyu's nestled on the floor in the corner, headphones in as he replays beautiful pain for the nth time when he hears the faint sound of his name being called, and he quickly pauses the song and tugs his headphones out. "hyuntae," he calls back, locking his phone and flinging it into his lap as he pushes himself up. he nods his head, a soft smile visible across his features. "i am, i'm not used to doing ballad things, but i'm always up for the challenge. what about you? how are you finding it so far? i'm not used to.. using my voice in this way, so i feel like i sound a little weird at times, but i'm trying my best with the lessons and advice." junkyu admits, perhaps a little sheepishly as he exhales. "how are you finding it?"
#ooc; sorry mine wasn't as long. was trying to get something to you#junkyu ━ beautiful pain#thread ━ junkyu
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beautiful pain
@lgcjunkyu
tae wasn't someone who liked singing. he was developing steadily in the skill, but it didn't mean he actually liked it. at the end of the day he would do whatever he needed to for the group he was participating in. and this one was focusing on ballads. so he had to suck it up and do his best.
for beautiful pain him and junkyu's lines were more so of a singy rap rather than just straight singing. he was happy that he was able to particulate in this with his friend.
"junkyu!" he shouted rushing over to his friend. "i'm glad to see you. are you excited about the songs?" hyuntae was, but it was definately not in his comfort zone. "at least i can rest my legs." he shrugged thinking about the dance practices he had been doing lately.
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seven years? tae took a deep breath and thought the question over. he took the paper from rowon. he moved his fingers across the letters. "maybe." he said as he filted his head for a moment. "but i don't think she was trying to get an answer."
who would send a message in the bottle and believe that it would actually get to someone. "kind of like making a wish in a well or a shooting star. but from the words the person really loved their person." he stated with a faint smile across his lips. but would he actually wait for someone for seven years?
"i think i would i would wait if there was hope there. having love in your heart for someone is easy. you can hold deep love for someone and still move on. but why wait if they want nothing to do for you?" he stated with a bit of a sad sound in his voice, his eyes not leaving the paper. why cling to something that isn't yours? why make yourself pathetic?
“my dearest darling,” rowon reads aloud, “i am sending you my heart by sea in hopes that it would reach you – no, i do not hope. i know it will. i am meant to find you again, my love. we are meant to be. though you no longer wish to speak, you will never be unloved by me. i miss you terribly. please return safely.”
he raises an eyebrow at the numbers scribbled in the top corner. the message dates back to september, seven years ago. it’s a miracle – or perhaps fate – that the glass bottle hadn’t shattered against rock all this time.
“it’s been a while. you think they’re still waiting for an answer?” he hands the letter back to hyuntae for closer inspection. “would you wait seven years?”
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between us
@lgcyunseo
lately, hyuntae had been really into watching bl shows. it made him feel something inside. he wasn't sure if it was because it was almost like he was destined to be single in this life, or if he just liked that they were like him. either way, it made him happy.
so when he woke up he decided to see if one of his close friends wanted to watch shows with him in the afternoon.
[ text -> yunseo ] : after i get back from blood donation, do you want to watch shows with me?
[ text -> yunseo ] : if so, about 12?
hyuntae knew it wasn't "fun" but to him it was bonding. quality time was one of the most important things to him when it came to his friendships.
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hyuntae liked this. he finally felt like he was learning more about rowon. he felt like he wasn't as far away. tae kept his vision up at the sky, admiring the beauty. "its beautiful" tae usually didn't have time to actually admire the beauty of the world. most of his focus was dancing. the thing that never failed him. he listened as rowon explained the hidden spot and how it began getting overcrowed. "i won't tell a soul" he teased nudging him playfully back.
he watched rowon struggle before extending it to him. "HEY! my hands aren't that small" he exclaimed as he grabbed the bottle from him. and as rowon expected his hands easily grabbed the note inside and handed it over to rowon. "since you found it, you read it first"
BOTTLED UP › @hyuntaelgc
“whenever i needed to be alone with my thoughts, i would come here.”
the beach at the break of dawn – yes, he had dragged hyuntae out of bed at this ungodly hour – is nothing short of stunning. beyond the shorelines where they walk barefoot across warm sand, the morning sun peeks over the horizon, painting the skies a pretty orange.
“it used to be the locals’ secret spot, but someone slipped up and got the word out.” the corner of his mouth quirks as he gives hyuntae a playful nudge. “guess i’m not really helping with that. at least they leave gifts.” trash, really. it’s infuriating.
almost on cue, he kicks something in the sand. it’s a small, clear bottle with what looks to be a message rolled up inside. huh. “didn’t know people still do this.” with some effort, he uncorks the bottle and tries to fish out the note – but to no avail. he holds it out to hyuntae. “try? your hands are smaller.”
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tae took a deep breath. today was all about trying something new. about going farther in his journey. he didn't have a fear of public speaking, and he was confident. but he did have fears of not doing poorly infront of a respected sunbae. he took a deep breath taking the makeshift microphone from eunhye.
was he ready though? hyuntae nodded as he began the introduction as he always had, bowing toward eunhye. "thanks for stopping by to learn some of the best choreographies by your favorite artists! today we're going to be learning my personal favorite song from fabula, tomboy." even if he was going to be doing this not in front of fabula, he would still have chosen tomboy. it was one of his favorites.
“well, today is your day to try it out!” eunhye responded enthusiastically, partially because she was curious to know while the other side of her felt that if he was going to try something like hosting the first time, why not do it with someone who has been hosting on radio and music shows already?
eunhye searched around for something that could be a fake microphone and as she saw a water bottle nearby, she grabbed it to offer it to hyuntae. “let’s pretend that you are hosting a dance show for…say, high school teens who want to learn the highlight or main point of the dances from their favorite idol groups.” eunhye prefaced the hypothetical scenario, giving hyuntae something that seemed plausible yet one that would slowly push him outside of his comfort zone.
“you get to pick the dance that they want to learn, but the focus here is to make sure that you can entertain the teenagers…or in this case, me. i’ll react based on what you say or do and you do your best to adapt to the reactions.” eunhye explained the task while incorporating the fundamentals that she’s learned from hosting and variety. “are you ready?” she asked soon after, letting hyuntae prepare himself before starting the prompt.
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hyuntae wasn't someone who really enjoyed people touching him. but seyoon was a special friend to him. the moment seyoon poked the corners of his face he couldn't help but bust into laughter, and his laughter grew hearing seyoon's story about his audition. tae felt this calmness when he was around seyoon. to him, seyoon was so bright. but tae knew that no-one could always be that happy.
he took a breath arching his back slightly as he stretched against the back of his chair. "i did. It made me anxious this time." hyuntae was good when it came to skilled-based auditions. "i would have rather danced for it" thankfully hyuntae was getting better at talking and explaining his thoughts. "wouldn't it be cool if we both were chosen?" he asked looking up at the sky.
AN AUDITION TO REMEMBER @hyuntaelgc
"What's up with the long face?" Seyoon poked at the corners of Hyuntae's lips. "Turn that frown upside down!" He applied a little extra pressure to manually make Hyuntae smile.
There.
It's too beautiful a day to be unhappy. Seyoon was so glad that they were nearly done with winter. The sun was shining bright again and new leaves were sprouting. Soon, cherry blossoms would start blooming and he could imagine how pretty they'd all look, swaying together in the breeze.
"Did you audition for the new group yet? I just did. I was like hello." Seyoon draped himself across the chair in what he felt was a cool, calm, and mature pose. "Okay fine, I was more like hello!" He adjusted himself into a less awesome, more bright-eyed kid begging for candy pose.
#ooc; i was thinking they're probably outside a cafe or something?#thread ━ seyoon#seyoonlgc#seyoon ━ to remember
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NKND AUDITION
why are you interested in being in NEWKIDS NEWDREAMS? ( 81 words )
considering the current confirmed members, what can you add to the formation ON AND OFF stage if you are picked? ( 112 words )
which skill do you want to be known for and why? ( 80 words )
what kind of concept are you good at and what kind are you bad at? ( 98 words )
what kind of group would you ideally want to be part of and why? ( 97words )
( mun note: for his answers, he wants to be a lot like svt hoshi & coups. he has a ways to go in the opening up or even being close to being extroaverted. but he's a hard worker, & just loves dancing )
"why are you interested in being in newkids newdreams? ( 81 words )
"i'm interested in newkids newdreams because it sounds refreshing. i know a couple of the guys who have already been announced to the trainees, and i feel like i could fit in well with them. i am around the same level as them when it comes to dancing and rapping. we don't have much information on the concept or how the group would work. but so far with the group of trainees already chosen, they make the group already seem interesting"
"what do you think you can add to the group" ( 112 words )
"like i said before, the group of trainees chosen all are well rounded. I believe i could add my dance background. I am good at teaching choreography as well as coming up with it as well. whenever anyone on the team needs help i'll be the first one there to help. even if it takes an all-nighter. i'm quiet and introverted, but not to the point where i can't show an extroverted image. i can be good at making sure everyone has a say, and shows themselves as well. i think every team needs someone like that. on-stage i can show my performance. i believe that i have a unique stage presence"
"what skills do you want to be known for and why?" ( 80 words )
"i feel like this is all i will be speaking about. i want to be known for my dancing and choreography. i want fans to see my team's videos and be able to proudly say 'hyuntae made that choreography'. I want my team to be introduced as being the 'kings of synchronization' and teamwork. I want us to wow our fellow artists and have them want to do dance challenges and things with us because of how good we are.
"what kind of concept are you good at and what kind are you bad at?" ( 98 words )
"through my experience in spring boys, i've been exposed to both soft boyish concepts like breathe, can't stop the shining & how you are, and harder crush concepts like hot & do it like this. i believe i can do both of these concepts well. but i believe i have a harder time with cute concepts. i'm not a really cutesy person, and i'm not well versed in aegyo. but i believe that i am best at any concept that has to do with a good dance performance. i can learn anything you put in front of me."
what kind of group would you ideally want to be part of and why?" ( 97 words )
"my ideal group would be a group that has high-power performances, but also does self-produced content. it would be cool if we could do shows like don't lie, mafia, or something like that. something to allow the fans to get to know us better. doing self produced content is a wonderful way to allow the fans to know us more than just as performers, but our individual personalities. my ideal group would also be filled with members who want similar things. who want our group to be the very best, and showcase ourselves in the best ways."
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