i-lionheart

[i-lionheart]

having been on tumblr for 10 solid years without ever leaving and now watching all these people come crawling back in after scorning it all this time makes me feel like a haughty king on a throne but also the court jester but also the castle itself but also the alligators in the moat because alligators are really cool

[i-lionheart]

this is their relationship and I love it

[i-lionheart]

[i-lionheart]

Some day I want to see a show that does the “no filler episodes” thing from the opposite direction. Just a whole season worth of low-stakes character pieces that seem to move the overall story absolutely nowhere, then episode 26 pulls all the triggers at once and this massive Rube Goldberg machine of a plot the show’s been quietly setting up in the background the whole time hits you like a truck.

[i-lionheart]

are we really doing this

[i-lionheart]

So I was looking for some PIV critical takes cus like. I feel a lot of u would enjoy dunking on those cus it is absolutely worse than even kink criticals but look who I found making the most unhinged take

I sincerely encourage PIV criticals to seek medical assistance and pick better sex partners. This is not normal.

(Its also just false to say these things are not painful for the "guy". Penises can also develop health problems that result in painful sex. No matter who you are, if you are EVER experiencing unintended pain during sex that can't be chalked up to like, "oh im drier than expected grab the lube" or "ow I got a cramp" or other obvious and easily resolved causes, please see a medical proffesional immediately. That is not normal or expected and could be a sign of a serious health issue.)

[i-lionheart]

the problem with voice acting these days is that nobody sounds properly fucked up anymore. every time they need someone to play a weird guy or a creature it's just some dude with a traditional handsome guy voice gargling a little. it's like trying to use a picrew to make an old person.

[i-lionheart]

people slipping up and saying shit like “biological name” instead of “deadname” is more or less proof these people don’t actually care about real science they just want smart sounding words and i guarantee if we could manipulate chromosomes they’d abandon all pretext of science and start yammering about how people are born with a “masculine/feminine essence” that “cant be changed” like none of these people actually know the chromosomes real fuckin function and they dont care they just know they cant be changed

[i-lionheart]

[i-lionheart]

man it's so fucking funny when I actually solve a wordle bc in my brain it makes me feel like this gif

[i-lionheart]

literally the BEST part of mary poppins is when all the chimney sweeps are running round the house bein like ‘step in time!!!!’ and then the mother comes home w her suffragette sash and all the sweeps r like ‘VOTES 4 WOMEN STEP IN TIME’ it makes me laugh so much bc imagine being mr banks and there being a big fuckin suffragette/working class pride parade in ur goddamn living room

[i-lionheart]

The Pronoun Cinematic Universe

[i-lionheart]

Jacob Janerka,  Hello, this is crab…

[i-lionheart]

hot take but acne scars (and scars of any kind!!!), big noses, crooked teeth, hairy arms or legs, soft and round bodies are not only completely normal and acceptable BUT beyond that??? they’re so unique and mesmerizing and remarkable in every single way. in a world where everyone wants to look the same with pointy noses and airbrushed skin and facetuned waists, all i hope is to meet people who look entirely different and make me believe in the beauty of being alive and being human.

[i-lionheart]

Greek Civ. Professor: To the ancient Greeks, sex was only valid when a penis was involved so they believed it was impossible for two women to have sex.

————

Me: Wait, wait, wait! So according to the ancient Greek view of sex not being possible when it's between ancient women, and Sparta encouraging Spartan women to have female lovers to avoid loneliness from absent husbands because it didn't count as cheating, Are you telling me that when the virgin goddesses wanted to always remain chaste, it was more of an anti-pee pee club because lesbian sex didn't count?

————

Greek Civ. Professor: Yup.

And suddenly the scene in the Odyssey where the virgin goddess Athena tells Odysseus "I'm off to Sparta, where the women are a wonder," has a whole new meaning:

(Line 469, p. 299, Trans. Robert Fagles: (LINK))

[i-lionheart]

animated movies need to go back to hiring normal voice actors instead of celebrity cameos if only because it’s funny to show someone this

and say “yeah this is all one guy”

[i-lionheart]

steadily recognizing that i’m allowed to exist in public spaces and not feel embarrassed about it… can you believe i used to feel weird about/too inadequate to sit on a bench in a public space. it’s ok. you’re allowed to be. just be. just sit on a bench. it’s ok