imactuallydelusional

[imactuallydelusional]

And suddenly, every novel was about you.

[imactuallydelusional]

It's end of May, yall know what that means

[imactuallydelusional]

"Disenchanted" by MCR has an ABBA vibe, and no one can tell me otherwise

[imactuallydelusional]

Tim, after having a mental breakdown literally 10 seconds ago: ....wanna hear facts about whales?

Bruce: I don't have a parenting book for this-

[imactuallydelusional]

Fic where Bruce and Jason are separately thrown 10 years into the past and wake up in their younger bodies.

9 year old Jason is perfectly fine living on the streets, thank you very much. And is trying very hard to avoid Bruce like the plague so he doesn’t end up as another “good soldier” in this life. Not like Bruce even knows he exists, so it should be easy.

30 year old Bruce, on the other hand, is hunting Jason through Gotham. Because his baby could be SICK or INJURED or COLD and he’ll be damned if Jason doesn’t have everything he could possibly need in this life. It’s a fresh slate and he’s going to do it right this time.

Unfortunately, it ends like this

[imactuallydelusional]

The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)

And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.

Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho

Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:

Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.

Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*

Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck

Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want

[imactuallydelusional]

THE PENGUIN FROM THE BATMAN (2004) LOGO + TURNAROUND FROM THE OFFICIAL STYLE GUIDE :o)

LINK TO GOOGLE DRIVE CONTAINING EVERYTHING FROM THE STYLE GUIDE, INCLUDING CHARACTER ART, GRAPHICS, AND TURNAROUNDS

[imactuallydelusional]

[imactuallydelusional]

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little

[imactuallydelusional]

Dyke armpit hair solidarity

a clean shaven pit is one of the worst things in the world

[imactuallydelusional]

How white women feel after saying konichiwa at a Mexican restaurant

(after trying to order a Cuban dish she saw in the New York times cookbook)

[imactuallydelusional]

I did the thing...

[imactuallydelusional]

SKULLFLOWER - AUTISM

Song is by Mattstagraham & you should go listen to it <- link

Lyrics ascribed to characters via color coding: Kevin = Yellow Hunter = Red Emily = Purple Clay = Pink

[imactuallydelusional]

My body is but a #autistic skullflower temple.

[imactuallydelusional]

the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

[imactuallydelusional]

The joke that the bats see their contingency plans as a form of love is super fucking funny, don't get me wrong but honestly they probably do see it as that cause they just forget to say the second part out loud.

"after I've taken you down, obviously I'd find whatever made you like this and then find the cure."

They come from gotham where mind altering substances are basically everywhere. One of the most profound ways a gothamite could say 'i care about you' is admitting to having a plan to disarm/capture you in the case you go off the deep end, so that they could then get you a cure.

Unfortunately for the bats, no one else thinks like that cause what the actual fucks guys

[imactuallydelusional]

who's with me