ime-ite

[ime-ite]

i always forget "fuck" is a bad word. it's like a brother to me

[ime-ite]

the bravest person in the world

[ime-ite]

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

[ime-ite]

thanks for taking me out to dinner dr evil. how much do i owe you

dr evil: one meeeeleeon dollars

me: ahahahaha

dr evil: ahahahaa

me: youre cool dr evil

[ime-ite]

dog humor: WHEN YOUR TOY SQUEAKS 😂

[ime-ite]

i honestly think the "oc dont steal" brand of humor died as hard as it did because literally nothing will be as funny as Σario

[ime-ite]

babygirl you'd be surprised at the things I can be nostalgic about

[ime-ite]

I didn't eat any processed food for 3 days & I felt like shit the whole time now I just had one medium slushy from 7-11 & suddenly I feel great so basically I'm thinking that I have evolved beyond other humans, I'm in perfect symbiosis with the carcinogens I take in on a daily basis & my body will start to disintegrate at the atomic level if I try to be more healthy . Oh well!

[ime-ite]

[ime-ite]

will poor thang flourish or perish?

[ime-ite]

[ime-ite]

[ime-ite]

Can't believe the New Yorker is making cartoons about color theory.

[ime-ite]

This “hanging out” you mentioned is intriguing. Have my people call your people

[ime-ite]

[ime-ite]

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.

[ime-ite]

Went outside and saw a bat flying around. Then i saw a toad in the yard. Straight up like a witch’s brew out there . Stay safe