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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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"And so I went into the studio," Jordan continued. "And it was very awkward, as I made sounds like 'mmm' and 'ahh'. And then I kissed my hand a whole lot."   
But he got the job done, and now he just hopes that everyone playing the game appreciates all the effort he put into helping make it happen—and keeps his very specific but vital role in the game in mind as they play.
"You think about that," he said. "You mull that over as you run around, you little horny perverts, with your little perverted roleplays, you randy bastards. You think of me."
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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consider the sperm whale and the squid. an ancient rivalry that dates back millions of years. we know the whales eat the squids. we know the squids do not make it easy for them. we know this because of the scars the whales carry, scars on the outside of their body, and on the inside as well. how badly must you want something to endure wounds inside your mouth? inside your gut?
consider the whale, who is harmed by what sustains her. consider the squid, whose flesh is soft and delicious but refuses to go down easy.
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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I hate modern science fiction shows, all filmed in flatly lit green screen. I miss when science fiction shows weren’t cowards and just told the audience that every inhabited planet in the galaxy looked like British Columbia.
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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"kill them with kindness" wrong, chain lightning.
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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Unmute !
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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Tumblr really has ruined me. I was in a Rite-Aid and "out of touch" came on over the speakers, and I freaked out a bit because I thought I had missed my thursday morning meeting. It took me a minute before I remembered that Out of Touch playing does not always mean its thursday. sometimes people just play the song.
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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(link to bypass paywall)
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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The best explanation of corporate greed!
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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As sketchy as the oceangate submarine was... you can bet your ass every single one of musky's endeavors would look just as sketchy if it wasn't for the fact that he's forced to work with government regulators.
Hell, most of his projects are this sketchy if you look a bit closer. For example: the tesla tunnels.
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No fire suppression system, no emergency exits, no emergency lighting, no way for EMS to get through, no fucking nothing. I am pretty sure it's not even big enough to open the car's doors.
Or the Cybertruck that's a deathtrap for both the people on the outside and the people on the inside because it utterly disregards the last 50 or so years of advancements in car safety technology such as crumple zones or safety glass
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Or the tesla model 3 where you can't even open the back doors without power. So if you're in an accident and lose power... good luck getting your kids out of the back, especially when the huge battery is turning into a huge, unextinguishable flamethrower.
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Or the fucking starship launchpad that was utterly destroyed by the rocket and threw huge concrete chunks and other debris around for miles... which, incidentally, also destroyed the rocket.
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That's what all these self-proclaimed Silicon Valley tech bro geniuses are like.
They all think they know better than everyone else, and that rules or consequences don't apply to them, and they see safety as little more than an afterthought.
It's why Ai and social media algorithms are used sooooo ethically. It's why amazon and facebook try to find out everything about you and happily sell that data with no disregard for what it could be used for.
It's about damn time one of these CEO dipshits got killed by their own dipshitery, I just wish it had been musk or bezos instead...
Once again, in conclusion:
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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☆ - ̗̀✨ He's just Ken ✨ ̖́- ☆
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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ok NOW we can all freak out marvel vfx workers voted to unionize
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article here
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impracticalchickensuit · 10 months
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if i see a single one of you pissed that your faves canceled an event or a con appearance because they're striking for fair wages then imma come for you in your sleep 🔪🔪🔪
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(direct that fury where it belongs: AMPTP and the execs)
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