inhouses

[inhouses]

[inhouses]

Yoshitaka Amano: Gashu Illustrations Art Book (1996)

[inhouses]

dont feel a way about any of that stuff. thoughts come up, they don’t have a footing in my brain. i do more than i did before. back to ‘normal’.

[inhouses]

havent felt the way about any of these posts from the past few yrs

just was in a bad place but i moved on. i have bad days but fortunately its about things that actually matter like work. lol how fortunate is that.

[inhouses]

its different now. i haven’t had those kinds of bad feelings in a long time.

i’m seeing somebody. over a month. she seems to really like me. i think i might be on guard too much. sometimes it just fits for some people and sometimes it just doesn’t. its an easy snap into place.

i can’t believe it took so long to feel better. covid definitely didn’t help. that was a very brief period of time too. i’m still figuring some things out but i am in a far better place now than i was then. i think i’ll be more mentally prepared in the future for something like that. that’s all you can really hope for.

[inhouses]

bad habits

[inhouses]

junk. all of it.

[inhouses]

im a shell. i dont knock on the walls of my encasing. im just sitting there.

[inhouses]

im so unhappy.

i feel like the more this goes on the more insane i’ll be.

i don’t like normla things. why can’t i just be ignorant. i’m worried.

i’m not supposed to act like this. i was fine before. i just want to go back to normal. if there’s any way that’s possible i hope i can find a way to do that. 

i dopn’t wanne be this way forever. i just wanna feel some kind of normalcy and hapiness, if that means i have to go back to feeling low once for 15 minutes every 3 months. i don’t care, that’s better than this.

I know i was happier then i just know it. not perfect, no one is. but i was much happier. i was never this low. 

I’m so scared.

[inhouses]

i fucking hate thiss i want out get me out

i dont want these thoguhts anymore its no good

i cant get out

[inhouses]

i hope i findfish this year and finish this college because i dont think ill ever get to to go to university lol

[inhouses]

its been stronger yesterday and today iu guess cuz its been a year and i didnt find anything to distract myself with so here i am

completely different person and i need to find a real hobby or a real job or something to get it out of my head cuz i wont be finding anyone any time soon with being inside still the federally mandated junction lmao

[inhouses]

i fucking hate these clickbait websites that pop up first when y ou search up some kind of self help in a desperate attempt to make yourself feel better

people will rarely respond to these kinds of online suggestsions because everyone is dfifferent and these are fucking worthless and only interested in harvesting clicks from the depressed massses

fuck these websites and suffer in your own way til it goesa away

[inhouses]

i’m tired of thinking. i don’t feel good anymore. i try to be too aware of everything and it makes me hate everything. i hate writing these.

[inhouses]

weird feeling kicked in last night before i fell asleep that made me feel like i did all those months ago with the pain kinda coming in so that was weird

weird year i’m not really sure what’s going on with my brain

[inhouses]

fuck off, go away, leave me alone, i dont love you, go away

[inhouses]

not even tired

it’s just a constant irritation at this point and i want it to go away

i can finally sleep at night and feel normal but i still get down now and again and i dont get why. i didnt feel like this before. i dont want to have emotions or thoughts i want t o be nothing