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tomokotoamu

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April 26, 2024

I impulse bought two indie patterns from etsy and I'm actually so excited to try them omg. Like the images in the reviews look SO GOOD and I'm kind of hoping that I can eventually modify it for a basic block because I've had so little luck making one on my own. But before that, I'm just excited to have a springy, summery midi dress. Also hoping that I can make the bust area fitted enough to forgo a bra without sacrificing comfort. A big ask, but perhaps possible.

I feel so bad for my CS prof. Basically no one shows up to class anymore. Maybe 10-20 percent the past two weeks? Which I understand that people are getting busy and that the lectures are available online and that the lack of a final exam/homework that tests the content of the last two weeks does not incentivize getting on a bus to get to the engineering school from the main campus, but ughhhh it's just so awkward.

Investing is only fun while stock market go up. I lost something like 5% of my portfolio in just two weeks which kind of hurt a little because that's a significant portion of what I've put in there the last few months! I know, I know, it's all about time in the market, not short-term fluctuations. And I've been doing well with not peeking and just leaving well enough alone. It's just that I was excited to hit a milestone, but my balance dipped right before I hit it.

Excited to bring my uke up this summer! For fingerpicking and learning new chords and brushing up on other things I'd learned previously. Lots of new songs to try since I started listening to my daylist. Wonder if I could fit my sewing machine into a carryon...

Oh oh also! Severance was really really really good! Excellent, even! Combines some of my favorite elements from shows like Stranger Things (I've only seen s1 tho lol), Lost, Pantheon... a thoroughly entertaining work that can also be overanalyzed to my liking. Big fan of science fiction that's a little unsettling. Big big fan of scifi that asks what it means to be human and who/what is deserving of human rights.

Today I'm thankful for students who are infinitely braver than me. Students across all fifty states. At my undergrad institution and my current institution. I am so proud of them.

With the current political climate, the themes of THG feels especially... relevant. Uncomfortably relevant. Power, revolution, mass movement, conversation, connection over division. I feel and have felt frustrated for months. For years, sure, but my frustrations have built especially quickly over the last several months. It has come to a head with the most recent big federal bill being passed. It's not that I don't believe that there is a threat of "foreign adversaries maliciously using my data", but I also try to be anti-sinophobic, because sometimes ""China!!!1!"" just comes off as a lazy scapegoat, kinda propaganda-y (not that I dismiss how the tiktok algorithm can also be propagandized for its own purposes). I am not immune to propaganda, but I can try to critically consider why someone might want me to see one narrative over another. That was a tangent. Just overthinking about my game :/

I am also thankful for kindhearted strangers. I need to more regularly meet and converse with strangers. Unfortunately, I have granny tendencies and get tired early. I was supposed to go to a grad student party tonight. Did not happen. Maybe some other time.

Anyway, bonk the police.

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Hiking in Northern Italy, June 2022. Amazed by flowers and that little pond.

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Jefferson Sees

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April 22, 2024

Song of the week: Cold Cold Cold - The Family Crest

Daylist 1: escapism dark cabaret friday morning (composer, film score, dark cabaret, renaissance, witchy)

Daylist 2: wonder folk rock sunday evening (dark classical, groovin, cottagecore, bard, forest)

Daylist 3: wizard goblincore sunday late night (groovin, angst, forest, witch)

(I must say that none of these words are in any of the playlists I have named)

My local library has serger trainings twice a month but each training only has enough seats for two people at a time. Very annoying. Plus they're an hour and a half during the middle of a weekday (so two hours out of a "work" day). I'm on the waitlist for both of the ones in May, but who knows if I'm gonna get in. I might make like that one girl did during the sewing training and show up anyway just in case one of the people don't manage to make it. But the odds are stronger when the class has eight people rather than two. It's just that I really really want to use a serger for the stretch knits I have in particular but I certainly don't want to buy one (not yet anyway).

There's also a renn faire in the area somewhere around here and while it's too far to actually consider volunteering every weekend for a couple of months in the fall for their unpaid cast (especially if I'm reliant on public transport) (though it looks like it'd be a serious load of fun), I would love to work on a costume for it and make it there one year.

The end of the semester is so, so close. And yet.

Today I'm thankful for the cherry blossoms and also for silly little discord games.

ALSO THANKFUL THAT THE OFFICIAL SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS OST IS ON SPOTIFY AAAAAAAA THANK YOU DAYLIST

Oh also also I think I'm going to bring my uke up from home this summer. My roommate won't be here for a bit and she's not getting a subletter, so I'll have this hot, hot apartment all to myself for several weeks. So I'll work on my fingerpicking I guess!

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夏の終わりの入道雲

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常寂光寺/天国の門 Jojakko-ji Temple/Heaven's Gate

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yes, i hope i learn to love myself but sometimes i forget i also need to learn to respect myself

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why is trying to make a new friend so embarrassing. hi. me again. asking for your attention once more even though i am literally just some random person to you. it's because i want to be not just a random person to you. please understand

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[guy who genuinely fucking loathes himself voice] well on account of my charming and endearing nature. Of course

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@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

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Die Pflanzenwelt (The Plant World), 1923

H. Eichhorn

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April 18, 2024

Daylist: suspense rock star tuesday night (campfire, western, old west, spaghetti western)

I've come to find out that I shy away from guys I find attractive and see as potential romantic prospects (aka I see them regularly and know/think they aren't attached to someone else)! Like I refuse to meet their gaze more than I have to, minimize any mindless chatter with them, and am genuinely just very intimidated by the idea of seeming dumb in front of a person I might be developing a crush on (uhm, very much looking forward to this semester ending so I don't have to see this one dude so often bc he is so attractive but he's also like so COOL like so much cooler than me but ugh UGHH (he's also the reason for this paragraph because I realized that I highkey avoid his gaze bc he makes me so nervous which is just dreadfully annoying [edit: also i found his ig and he's a whole sophomore which is WILD but whew he's just so good looking and his voice])).

Anyway that won't do, so this summer a goal is to flirt, just once.

I spent seven very frustrating hours straight on an R script today. I should? be through the weeds now. I hopefully have a straightforward path toward some results. Hopefully. Should only take a few more hours, then I'll do my writeup tomorrow (though I realized that the raw data I solicited is not actually what I need to answer the question I'm asking, but that's okay, I'll just figure out a different question.). [edit, a bit later: it took like ten minutes to get to my intended finishing point lol. BUT I toiled for eight hours today only to find ONE SINGLE differentially expressed gene. Granted, my sample size is itty bitty, but still, ONE DEG????]

Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage is WILD. Stopped me in my tracks. I can't tell if it's a joke which is the worst part. goes hard tho.

Dunno if I've mentioned this before but today I'm thankful for the clay mask my mother introduced me to. Anytime my skin feels dull, I can slap that bad boy on and a special avocado overnight moisturizer and it'll have me glowing the very next morning.