ismaelkagone

[ismaelkagone]

The Equalizer

Thank you for maturing me into the man I am today. The qualities you exhibit and the warm, loving, and patience you showed would make you the best significant other, partner or even friend that someone would love in their corner. Right or wrong you built me into a person who can discern the importance of having a healthy relationship with the people in my life. We never had that and that solely falls on me. I was devoid of emotions, feelings, and hurt and those issues contributed to the way I treated you and how you felt like you could never open up to me. Thinking back on it, nobody deserves that but being in a place of uncertainty from both sides can make people do some foul shit. When people are hurt, they hurt other people and it seemed to be a constant battle of trying to one up each other. I bear the brunt of the responsibility because emotionally I wasn’t aware of how I could have played a part in drifting us apart.

The way I treated you was out of pure immaturity and the ability to not acknowledge a “great” thing that was in front of me. I was the young, hard headed, stubborn boy who didn’t appreciate the world I was in, the safety you afforded me, and the time you took with me to school me. I admit that I had my hesitations and you aware of that and it made me not want to deal with a person with so much baggage because I worried about perception I realized the people who gave me that insight high key wanted you to show them that attention I garnered from you or held some grudge against you for various reasons. You seemed to have answers to everything and I was still that naïve and dumbfounded boy, but you sat down with me and broke down a lot of the bullshit that consumed my life and mental at the time. 

I understand as I got older that I left plenty unsaid and felt like the potential of being with you was too much for me at that time. I really didn’t think I deserved you or to be in your presence after a while. You seemed to know exactly what you wanted from me and I never felt comfortable in telling you that I couldn’t provide what you were seeking because I didn’t really want you out of my life. I understand that is a selfish way to think and I didn't know how it would work or the nuances that took place in making it functional and healthy. Somehow, you always extended yourself and was always in my corner when I needed something, and I felt like I could never reciprocate that for you. You needed me to be there for you during the moments you dealt with uncertainty in your life. I have way too much time on my hands and sitting and thinking about all the little things you sacrificed to help me in my growth and I could never thank you enough. It pains me but I know we will never be friends, associates, homies, acquaintances, whatever adjectives you’d like to do because I messed that up multiple times. I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t allow myself to be open with you and you didn’t feel comfortable doing the same. It felt like we slowly started to withdraw from each other and it was understood that we would tolerate each other for this small moment and continue our life. The crazy thing about this is that I’m writing this and everything I was not for you I became that for everybody else. It took the trial of losing you and severely messing up with you to become that person. My life feels like that I gave them every thing you felt that I lacked in our time spent together. I grew up, I had to learn that me, physical being available was not enough for you and the fact that you bared the responsibility of making everything feel normal between us is heartbreaking now because we could have been able to mend this and be close. 

Please don't let my regrets dispel the number of “great” moments we had with each other. A lot of laughs and moments that we can speak of that would put smiles on both of us. The number of intimate conversations and moments that would have us reminiscing. We grew so far apart and as you were waiting for me I high key was waiting to be able to provide you with what I lacked years ago, it was just too much time that had passed. I have made my piece with the fact that people need to move on from each other, but I will always be there if you ever needed me and just slight check-ins. I feel like that the least I can do even if we do not exchange words, pleasantries, or a real good-bye. I do not know if the impact you had on me, if I even reciprocated that back to you but it needed to be said because you did a lot for the kid.

Wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, success, and journey through life! I know when you become successful and the entrepreneur you set out to be that it would be better for this world and your place in it will have a lasting impact.

Peace and Blessings! 

Beloved

[ismaelkagone]

I Love You!

I know longer know what to do as a man. I would say I am being ignorant and naive by saying that I do understand the plight of women. I admit I do not know shit about women and everyday I learn something new in regards to the pain that they deal with in dealing with men. I have hurt many women in my life and it was due to immaturity and unknowingly being empathetic to their issues, and I am truly sorry I really am. I’ve made them cry, hurt them with words and even expressed my desires not be interested in anything. That being said I was never complicit in defaming or judging the various issues that they deal with. I want to learn how to love women appropriately and being in healthy relationships with them. I want to learn and I need to learn.

All of the women that I have ever encountered in my life are dealing with issues that they keep in and are wanting to tell someone about it. Women go through so much trauma and to dismiss their claims or not believe them because it sounds far fetched isn’t the way men should view their perspective. It takes time to build trust and to allow someone into your world and to discuss these issues men have to become allies and have these talks. We have to be willing to open our minds and allow women to tell their stories and to be there for them in any capacity. From my own experience I have heard far too much of the women I surround myself with emotional, physical and mental abuse when it comes to their upbringing which results in triggers and anxiety. 

I love women, I love you all just as much if not more than food. I do want to have conversations with women where it does not feel like they are being coerced or that they feel like I am going to try and use this information against you. I also don't want them to feel like that them being vulnerable with me means that this leads to physical relationship because you trusted me with your baggage. I really want to delve deep into their psyche and to understand what it means for them to be loved and how they experience feelings with the opposite sex. It sound crazy to speak about and talk about , but it seems that women suppress their true feelings for fear of being maligned or attacked especially while on social media. I want to be able to dissect and learn more about why they decide to act the way that they do and attract the men that they do. I usually attribute it to their upbringing and the energy that they portray, but that's not all that is to it. Speaking for myself, I like to understand and know these things because it allows me to understand on my end why people are attracted to my energy and why they feel comfortable expressing their problems with me. Creating a comfortable space for my queens is what I strive to do and I hope that they know I love you!

[ismaelkagone]

Quarantine & Chill?

I have probably been prepping for self-quarantining and social distancing my whole life, which is a deeper rooted issue that I much rather not delve into at the moment. For the past few weeks my life has been such a rollercoaster and these times to be at home in my thoughts and a bunch of unhealthy foods and snacks just gives me the energy to write. I am so used to being in the home and isolating myself that I thought why not be able to get back to writing before I am consumed with work again. I have been understanding more and more about this social distancing and the impact COVID-19 is doing to the human respiratory system and the fact that people impacted can show no symptoms or have symptoms right away. 

Not going to lie, my mind has been racing since this virus started attacking the United States and the fact that people have no regards for their well-being or the well-being of others is very frustrating. Speaking to people with the conspiracy theories of actually what it is and why it took place and I am all for a good conspiracy, but you still have to acknowledge that deaths that are taking place and that healthcare professionals are overwhelmed. Some of the conspiracies that I have heard is that “coronavirus” is not real, the virus was started in order to decrease the population in the countries such as China and the U.S. to name a few. I have been trying to understand to the best of my ability all of the ramifications that are taking place with the result of COVID-19, but it seems like the trickle effect is problematic for the countries national security and resources. The leadership needs to take control of this situation, but it seems just from news I have been watching they are giving the people a false sense of security and continuously producing information without giving the whole information. We are going through a national pandemic and we are relying on civilians to provide support to our professionals. We as a nation did not and continue not to take this serious and it is upsetting because we could have minimized the threat. I wish you all the best of health and stay safe out here.  

[ismaelkagone]

Understanding YOU

I had the fortunate opportunity to do a professional development for work and one of the biggest takeaways was doing the DiSC assessment. If you unaware about what the DiSC assessment is, it essentially the personality type that you have in the workplace and most times people identify with the results in their personal lives as well. So to help you understand, DiSC stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness and although people have a little bit of all 4 personality types, it pinpoints your strength. For myself, I will let y’all imagine my personality type but it made me feel like someone was following me for months to figure out my personality type and it literally took 15 minutes answering multiple choice questions on the computer. I, personally identified with most of the traits that were associated with my personality type, but it made me wonder what steps do I have to make to level my weaknesses, so that it can help me in the long run. In order to identify this strength and weaknesses, it takes some true soul searching and looking yourself in the mirror because it makes you battle the insecurities that you may have, therefore you act the way you act. Knowing this information about myself only enhances my ability to strengthen my weakness and to step out of the comfort of what I have been accustom to as well. 

I am constantly learning and I know that I have to understand myself as an individual before I am able to become my best self. I was under the impression that my personality type was a hinderance to the career I want to have, but I understand that to be a unique individual makes you stand out and why would I do anything but to embrace my personality type. Self-progression should always be a goal for everyone in order to as Lil Duval says, “Live your best life”, but it does take work and the first step is identifying. 

[ismaelkagone]

Super Bowl Sunday

The pennicle of sports is the Super Bowl. The one game 60 minutes where two teams play against each other to determine the world champion of American football. Tonight at 6:30 pm the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco Forty-Niners will play against each other in the battle of pursuing this world championship. I have been going back and forth all week and hearing the prognasticators figuring out who will this game. I told myself that I would make a pick before the game and I am still waffling on who I think will win the game. The Kansas City Chiefs have this versatile offense with players such as Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce, and their star quarterback Patrick Mahomes. It’s really difficult to stop this high powered offensive attack especially when they get rolling, but on the other end we have the Niners defense with 4 1st Round picks playing on the line with not to mention the Defensive Rookie of the Year in Nick Bosa. Understand that if they are able to get to Mahomes it’ll be a long day for the Chiefs because their defense cannot stop a cold. On the flip side the Niners offense rely heavily on the run and Jimmy Garappolo needs to have a big game in order to keep the Chiefs’ defense honest. My prediction isn’t predicated on anything but my respect for Andy Reid and the possibility of him retiring for the coach Eric Bieniemy to become their new coach, so with that being said I think the Chiefs will win 34-27. I’m being honest when I say that I do not feel good about the pick but this is a part of predicting. I hope the game is a good one and and it’s exciting throughout.

[ismaelkagone]

UNPRODUCTIVE SUNDAY

I told myself to be consistent in writing something every Sunday but honestly I am not feeling it, I wanted to gather more information before I decide I want to write about it because of the unfortunate and untimely death of Kobe Bryant. I wanted to write about his legacy but I am honestly in the mental space to correctly put my thoughts together to capture the essence of Kobe Bean Bryant. This nothing informative or worth reading, but I have to release my thoughts.

[ismaelkagone]

BIG PEPPA POT

How do you convince someone that you are worth their time and energy, when they might not even acknowledge you? True the person might not know you and that plays a big factor, but their is something to their attitude that provides you some insight on how they carry themselves. That spunk and fierceness intrigued me and made me want to know more about you, but I felt it was impossible to gain your attention and I felt like I constantly said the wrong things. I was garnering your attention in all the wrong ways. I also felt like I could never be myself around you because there was a certain air that you carried yourself and I felt like I was not matching that and I knew I could never, so how can I do anything to impress you, when I am constantly battling whether to reveal myself or to play a role in order for you to look my way. Everything felt combative, like I was fighting to get in your good graces and the moment we disagree I felt my confidence getting shot because it felt like you were losing respect for me every time I opened my mouth but there was something there, I was getting to yo, but I could never understand how or why I just enjoyed spending the time with you. I will not say an attraction was there because that is thinking way to highly of myself but their was a tension that was healthy for some odd reason. I realized conversation was my calling card to get you to speak and listen to me but to hold your attention it needed substance, logic, and reasoning. Your energy was unmatched and I felt like it needed to be challenged and I thought I provided that to you, but in the end I think it was I who needed to understand a different perspective. I could not stand the fact that you would be able to get under my skin and I always wanted to win the argument and I admit now, most times I was wrong, ignorant and uninformed. I was growing an affinity for you but I had know way of going about it, I was not the best and still am not best at expressing my feelings let alone saying what I wanted. I avoided being in your presence when it was just us, because I did not have the maturity to do so. I know I missed out on opportunities to connect with you on a personal level, but I think it helped me today reconnect with you because I would have messed up the opportunity back then and being blocked and deleted would have been a real life situation for me now. 

Now that I was able to connect with the Big Peppa Pot, I have profound admiration for you because of the work you put in to better yourself and love yourself, but to impact myself in managing the things that I lack in myself. I felt like we picked up where we left off with years of maturity and as adult the level of understanding we have now is one to marvel at because it more discussions and less back and forth about how we need to act and live our lives. We understand that opportunities were missed to strengthen the relationship, but the only way to understand that is to have honest conversations. Throughout this shortened trajectory of our growing up I have never labeled us anything and it was purposeful because boxing us in as individuals gave us outlooks of each other that had, specifically myself make us as a certain kind of person and not accepting the individual as a whole. 

You work my nerves when you do not listen to me but I have to accept that because you need to walk in your purpose before realizing it is not for you, but I need your undivided attention for the rest of this. 1.) You are incredible and I need you to realize that protecting your peace is important for your continued growth. 2.) Focusing on yourself is not selfish and the moment people say that it is, they do not have your best interest. 3.) Taking a risk in your development of being a better you is part of growing and the moment that you can understand that you will flourish. 4.) Lean on your support system. 5.) Continue to be fabulous and fantastic. 

[ismaelkagone]

EARTH IS FLAT

Now that I have your attention, I wanted to focus in on the lack of togetherness that the Boston Celtics are having this year (I wrote all this last year, but I am updating it). In particular I am intrigued by a player, the title of this post should give it away, but if you are reading for your pure enjoyment, then I thank you for coming. He goes by several monikers, whether it is Ankletaker, Uncle Drew, or by his actual name of Kyrie Irving. Kyrie Irving seems to be the most interesting person in the world, but as of late I had a question to myself about Kyrie and it made me start to do research that I would hope support my claim. (I did not research prior to writing this part). Is Kyrie actually a winner? And those questions should be mind boggling for myself to even ask but he has been on some teams now that I sit and think, wow when he does not play the team to seems to play better. 

Now as a I mentioned I started to write this a year ago, but I wanted more results to fully support my claim. The often injured Kyrie Irving has been in the league 9 years now and has only played over 70 games in only three of those seasons. Also, his one year as a college player he only played in 11 games, so injury concerns a legit, but that is a small part of this conversation about Irving that I want to have. I cannot and I do not think that people can measure leadership, so for me I throw that argument to the waste side and allow the gas baggers and pundits speak on that since they claim to have inside knowledge. I am more concerned as to whether he is a winner. His first 4 years in the league he never won more than 35 games and I understand as a young player it is hard to win in this league, but as a transcendent player he never could get his team over that hump into the playoffs as the number 1, go to option. To put it into perspective he played over 70 games that last two years before Lebron decided to return to Cleveland as well. The only reason I bring this up is because the players drafted in his class of 2011 that are comparable such as Kawhi, Kemba, Klay, & Jimmy Butler had made it to the playoffs early in their careers and I am aware that the Bulls and Spurs were good at that time, but no one thought the Warriors would turn into that juggernaut of a team. 

Kyrie was scrutinized heavily for being selfish and about his numbers and resisting playing with Lebron, but that elevated his exposure, his brand, and his on court personality. As he transitioned to the Boston Celtics their first year he only played 60 games and they made it to the Eastern Conference Finals without him and everyone was in agreeance that he would take them to the Finals the following year if healthy. The Celtics the following year regressed and did not make it out the second round of the playoffs with Kyrie playing. He is currently on the Brooklyn Nets and has only played 11 games this year and while he puts on a show and gets busy they have only won 4 of their 11 games when he plays this year. I used to play basketball and I know their is a transitional period when playing with someone of his caliber, but this is his third stop in his NBA and he has yet to have a successful run as Batman, he might be more Robin and that is fine. 

[ismaelkagone]

NBA Sweepstakes

In the next couple of hours we will be seeing a domino effect of NBA players getting ready to get recruited as if they were in high school getting ready for college basketball. Many of the role players will likely switch teams because they need to fulfill a specific role on either a contending team or to help the young players understand the trial and tribulations of the NBA lifestyle. The biggest jump in free agency are the role players who get payed like starting caliber players and they are considered cornerstones for their respective teams. These are the potential moves that can send you back years in building your franchise into a formidable contender. For example, teams like Brooklyn made that decision when they signed Jeremy Lin and when they wanted Allen Crabbe the extending an offer sheet to him (which Portland matched, but then traded him to Brooklyn). Miami made the same offer by signing Tyler Johnson to a 4-year, $50 million contract for a player he split time between the bench and starting. Role players are essential to free agency because they dictate moves that other teams eventually make. For the 2018 NBA free agency, one of the top role players available is Trevor Ariza, depending if he reunites with Houston or goes to Golden State could impact the Western Conference. Avery Bradley, Will Barton, and Jamal Crawford also fall in that category because they are essentially starters who produce at high level and are going to be expected to perform on whichever team they sign with. These domino effects impact a way in which a team fills out the rest of their roster. Tyreke Evans, Rudy Gay, Jeff Green, Brook Lopez, Greg Monroe, Lance Stephenson, Rajon Rondo, and Derrick Rose are on the second tier along with the other names I mentioned who will be shifting the balance of the league because they have major impacts on their teams even if they are not the first option or even second option for their respective teams. Most of these players will be switching teams and depending on what superstar they are paired with they could be impactful for a potential playoff run or they could be stars on their own team but that would not garner much success. 

Now I know we are excited for the LeBron sweepstakes and what team he will end up deciding to go to but it seems like the summer of 2018 is for Paul George mores so than LeBron. If Paul George remains in Oklahoma City like the reports say, then LeBron may end up having to stay in Cleveland because they will not be any other stars they could target, unless their is a sign and trade for Chris Paul which means, bye bye Lonzo and the Lakers future because they will have to part ways with young pieces. My biggest critique of LeBron is that he blows up teams in a way that handicap teams and their salary caps and they add a bunch of older players to long contracts that cannot be moved (e.g. JR Smith and Tristian Thompson) and teams have to find ways to continue to win with the moves LeBron decides and what players he wants around him.

Kevin Durant and DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins looks like they will be staying with their teams on short term deal, but DeAndre Jordan looks to be on the move. Chris Paul has been recruiting LeBron really hard, but his teammate just stated they do not need the addition of LeBron and that he thinks they have a good enough team to compete with Golden State. One of the biggest transaction will  come via trade and that is whoever lands Kawhi Leonard. Since the players will be giving their oral agreements within the next couple of days, that could be a narrow decision for teams who want to pursue Kawhi. I am looking forward to free agency frenzy because once one of the big dominoes drop (Paul George and LeBron James) the NBA landscape might changed dramatically. Stay tuned!

[ismaelkagone]

If You’re Reading This You’re Too Late

I wanted to touch on this earlier in the month but I never did but I’m glad I waited because, oh boy was the month of June the time to consume music, not all good but still music. The lens in which I viewed this was through Drake’s eyes and how he had to reshape his whole plan and rollout because of the heavy hitters releasing music during the time in which he had told all his fans that, yes indeed he was dropping in June. I know he dropped in May but I’m including Pusha T in this conversation because he was apart of the new G.O.O.D Friday drops and he re-sparked a beef with Drake which messed up his pristine rollout which was going to debut a lot of changes in the way in Drake was going to start moving. The original rollout for Drake allegedly was ruined due to the mini beef in which the outcome was much different from his spat with Meek Mill.  

Drake is scheduled to drop in the next couple of hours and I am not sure people are really checking for his music for some new content, but to see if he would actually respond to Pusha T and respond to the allegations of the baby, the baby momma, the signing of him to Adidas, and if this two disc album is actually going to actually work. His camp claims one R&B side and one rap side and if we know Drake he makes sure he does both I’m actually waiting to see if he is able to isolate it throughout two albums. I am more looking forward to the reviews and response to the album because I wanted to know if he can achieve the level of DMX and Outkast with the two albums going over 10 million units sold. 

Beyoncé and Jay-Z dropped an album which was totally unexpected, but when you are at that caliber you can do such things and produce great results. Once again that takes the steam off this Drake project because of the fact that people are still consuming the music that just came out especially those from Kanye and the Carters. I know Drake will sell his numbers, but the pressure is on him to produce not only because he is dropping after all these top-notch performers but to give us the summertime hit we usually get from him. Drake needs to perform especially since we are in the streaming age and people are either giving us short albums or long albums to have more streams. He is giving us a regular number amount of music and if he does not perform, boy will he need to answer some question because Views was just a hit driven album not a complete album and he seemed to put less effort in it because there was not anyone challenging him for that top spot, but his peers such as Kendrick and J.Cole have put out projects that were positively reviewed and he cannot disappoint again. I am not saying he was sabotaged but G.O.O.D Music and the Carters put more pressure than he probably was expecting. All we can do now is wait for the music! 

[ismaelkagone]

The Bigs Never Left

Congratulations to those who are going to get their names called tonight during the 2018 NBA draft. Crazy to think the about the evolution of the NBA and how everyone is so enamored by the fact that the league has gone small and you need lineups similarly to the Warriors Hamptons 5 or like the Milwaukee Bucks who have players who are interchangeable. Everyone wanted to go small and draft guards and wing players but that hasn’t necessarily been the case these past 3 years. In 2015, in the first 5 picks, 3 were bigs (KAT, Porzingis, and Jahlil Okafor). Although two out of three are cornerstones for a franchise the NBA games has gone to the small ball era where they need to be able to pick and pop, shoot corner threes, all while still being a defensive anchor.

In the 2016 NBA draft once again the numbers of bigs chosen in the lottery was just about as much as the guards (I excluded Ben Simmons from being a big because he plays point guard for the 76ers) and critique that big men are becoming extinct is laughable because these bigs are becoming the new commodity of the league.

The 2017 NBA draft there was a dip in the number of bigs chosen in the lottery to 4 (Lauri Markkanen, Bam Adebayo, Jonathan Isaac, and Zach Collins) and the mostly with the exception of Isaac played and contributed to their respective teams. Two of the players that were drafted ended up being big factors off the bench for playoff teams.

The big becoming extinct to me is just people needing something to talk about because the influx of bigs coming into the league plays a huge role on how the landscape of the game of basketball changes because everything is more pace and space and if these franchises want to continue to pick bigs then so high in the draft then they coaches of these organizations will have to play to the strength of their cornerstone piece.

The bigs in the league are multifaceted and multidimensional now and they have more value at their position simply because they are now currently doing what guards are doing on the floor as well. Many of the bigs now shoot the outside jumpers and they handle the ball as well. Most bigs now have the offense run through them in many cases and i would be surprised if that becomes more and more of the trend again where the bigs dictate the flow and pace of the games.

Think about this when trying to say that bigs are dead in the NBA, in the 2018 NBA draft we will have bigs such as as DeAndre Ayton, Jaren Jackson, Mohamed Bamba, Marvin Bagley, Wendell Carter, Brandon McCoy, Michael Porter, Mitchell Robinson, Moritz Wagner, and Robert Williams who will be drafted tonight and some who will be in the lottery tonight and will be considered cornerstones for their teams. Don’t read everything experts say because they like to have this narrative of the NBA is changing one way but then again consistently the top players drafted are bigs.

[ismaelkagone]

Wake Up Mr. West

As many people have discussed over the past few weeks, I also am aware that this incredible artist known as Kanye Omari West has said some controversial things and tweeted some even more words that has his fans lost for words especially with aligning himself with the president of the United States who has consistently shown how racist he is and how he exploits black and brown people for his own personal gain. Kanye West since his arrival into our lives as an artist, beatmaker, and producer has shown his excellence in making music and making “back pack” rap popular. It all started in 2005, when they pitted 50 Cent against West, label mates at the time in order to make sure that Kanye became the new thing in the Hip-Hop game.

The reason why Kanye West is who he is, is because his style did not fit with the trend of the characters he was around. During that time he was with MC’s such as Jay-Z, Beanie Sigel, Freeway, and Memphis Bleek to name a few and they doubted his ability to rap and to touch on subjects that they thought is impossible to talk about in rap like “Jesus Walks”. Kanye West in his early stages had a way of talking to black people and giving them game about how self-conscious we are, and how we need to be empower ourselves. “Diamonds of Sierra Lone” was music that try to make us aware of the problems that we endure as nation of black people. 

Musically Kanye through his music empowered black people in ways that were usually done through more of a conscience rapper such as Common, Mos Def, and Talib Kweli all of whom he has worked with and they have appeared on his albums. In his debut album he wrote songs like “All Falls Down”, in which he says, “Rollies and Pasha's they done drove me crazy/I can't even pronounce nothing, pass that Versace! Then I spent 400 bucks on this/Just to be like n***a you ain't up on this!”. He explains the plight of black men who always want to wear the designer clothes and fancy the finer things in life but they do not have the means to keep up to that sort of lifestyle. This song explained the plight of black people and it seemed that he was able to connect with black people. In that same song he writes, “We buy our way out of jail, but we can’t buy freedom/We’ll buy a lot of clothes but we don’t really need them/The things we buy to cover up what’s inside/Cause they made us hate ourself and love they wealth”. He explained very clearly that the manner in which we as black people were living is not the way and that we needed to ‘find different means of getting the white people’s approval. Kanye’s lyrics made us feel like that he was on our side, but his recent comments of slavery being choice and his involvement with Donald Trump has made me re-evaluate Kanye’s music. I cannot for the life of me understand how someone can recite these lyrics but align themselves with a white supremacist. That second album “Late Registration” where he attacked political themes in the majority of his songs, “Crack Music”, “Heard Em’ Say”, “Gold Digger”, and “Drive Slow”. All of these songs he mentions the plight of black people, men in particular. Also how crack has ravished our black communities and how the ballad featuring Adam Levine explains the way in which the world we live is not a trustworthy place but we as individuals must try to live an honest life. 

Kanye has lived a life based off his music of trying to be one who does not life of being held down by the establishment, but he also had the plight of black people as well. That is why it is disappointing to me to see him switch stances when we as black people are still dealing with these political issues he has tackled in his music. I am all for free thought, but Kanye has started to build a reputation of being someone who is not trying to help the black community, but to capitalize from us and not actually help us. Kanye does not speak to the black community unless he is promoting new sneakers or music. He monetizes from black people and then he just silently goes back to his life in Calabasas or Wyoming. Kanye has now become someone who is monetizes on black people, he has been like this for quite some time once he has launched his fashion line and claimed to be the next Walt Disney.

Kanye going against the grain has allowed us to have some creative and brilliance from him, but also we have gotten an individual who has been isolated from the world and not understanding that a powerful voice like his needs to be me informed of how he can help support the black communities and empower us to be able to get through this rough presidential term, not aligning himself with the current president who has travel bans, wants to put up a wall, and most importantly how he wanted to have military in Kanye’s own hometown of Chicago. Kanye has also had some problematic comments over the last couple of weeks. I cannot and will not stand for someone who feasts on black people for their own gain and they have the nerve to speak about slavery as being a choice. I agree we as black people need to understand that we will not be paid for reparations, actually get our 40 acres and a mule, and get an apology for slavery, but to act like it was a choice is very ignorant and Kanye being raised by a woman who has taught him about the struggles of black people he needs to understand that his words are problematic. The manner in which John Legend, Ebro Darden, Charlemagne the God, and T.I. have approached him is the first steps in getting Kanye the ability to see the faults in some of his comments and to understand the nature in which black people are being affected by the alignment of the current president and his tactics.

If I was able to speak to Kanye, I would tell him to look at his peers and counterparts and how they exude black excellence such as Diddy, Jay-Z, LeBron James, Chance the Rapper, and even Barack Obama. They have tried and succeeded in making black people more empowered through different efforts. Diddy has been owner of charter schools, clothing, music, and Revolt TV. Jay-Z being his own entrepreneur and creating TIDAL. James with all his off the court endeavors and creating scholarship funds to have children go to school as well as Chance, Obama with the my brother’s keeper initiative. These are people who have shown that they can contribute to the causes of black people, but still have the ability to have business ventures as well. Kanye has the ability to be as influential as any of those people, but his rhetoric is very scary and can become dangerous because of the number of fans he has and his manner of speaking is acquiescing to the delight of being accepted by white people, but still profiting from black dollars. Please in the words of the late Bernie Mac, “Wake Up Mr. West!”.

[ismaelkagone]

Wanna Bey like the Carters

So recently there has been this debate centered around whether or not Beyoncé is the greatest live performer of all time. Personally I couldn’t even begin to delve into that because I have never been to a concert live EVER! I wanted to switch my focus on the music but before I do must congratulate Beyoncé for her recent live performances from the Super Bowl, BET and now Coachella where she has placed this emphasis on black excellence and her incoporation of themes that shows some the true essence of being black. Her performance at the Super Bowl exhibiting the Black Panther (not the movie) movement and at the BET being unapologetically black. These past two weeks when Beyoncé took the stage at Coachella she continued to show us how being unapologetically black she is by having her show exhibit all the essence of being at an HBCU. The band play, the re-enactment of that halftime show at the football game at an HBCU as well as the dancers. Beyoncé made Drumline (the movie) come to life in her performance and the best part was her acknowledgement of Greek life at a HBCU. She was able to have black Greeks perform and they were also able to show the whole world what it’s like to be unapologetically black. I should let you know that I have never attended an HBCU but all of those staples she displayed let it be know how unique a HBCU is.

While performing I was very intrigued at the fact that she was singing songs that I never thought took precedence in her life and I always though that her discography was a bit interesting because I never knew her to have music that was relatable when she initially made the records, but as time has past I’ve gone to realize that she was explaining to us her life. Her spouse, Shawn Carter has allowed us to have some insight into their private life due to his infidelites and I started to reasses Beyoncé’s discography. Like I have said I wasn’t always the biggest fan of Beyoncé’s music because I was like I don’t ever think she has gone through these things that she is saying lyrically in her music, but now that we see everything taken place in her life then we see that she’s been speaking to us through her music. And yes I am aware that she may have writers and that all her ideas and songs may not relate to her life exactly but I know because of how great of an artist she is, she has been given a pass to make music that’s not relatable to her life.

As of April 4, 2008 she was married to her spouse Shawn and later on that year she released I Am...Sasha Fierce in which she had Single Ladies on the album, but we all knew she was in a relationship with Shawn. Once again I am aware that Sasha Fierce was supposed to be an alter ego, but it was music like this that had me questioning the nature in which her music comes from. 3 years later she releases the album 4 and she had songs such as “Best Thing I Never Had” in which she is speaking about dumping her man essentially. She had other records such as “Get Me Bodied”, “Freakum Dress”, “Deja Vu”, and “Green Light”. All of these songs in my opinion, I did not think they related to her and she was producing these hits without people thinking like is Beyoncé is taking advantage of a market that she cannot relate too. But recently as some of her life has been exposed for the world to dissect you see that she has been screaming to us her entire life and how she wishes she can express herself without being judged and having to seem less perfect in the world that she is living in. Beyoncé is a brilliant artist and she has definitely matured with her music and I think her fan has as well. 

[ismaelkagone]

Same Difference

In science they let it be known that opposites attract, such as negative and positive ions. But does that really work with human beings, honestly. I umderstand that being with someone who is the opposite of you can bring together new experiences and allow for people to cherish parts of their life they were missing out on. But I think that initial attraction can only last for so long, at the end of the day I really do believe people surround themselves with either likeminded people, people with similar backgrounds and lifestyle. Being school lets you know this first hand by the way in which people of the same elk really stay together. Honestly though I went to a PWI and those beliefs of opposites attract really didn’t seem genuine or everlasting. I do believe that no matter what school or institution that you find yourself in the same things take place.

I’m talking about my people first so African-Americans are subjugated in tiers and it’s frustrating to see that the only time we really can come together is doing social events such as parties. First off athletes (including team managers) tend to stay together and it’s really hard to put yourself in that space simply because they don’t have the time to explore outside of their teammates but also they really not engaging with regular students unless their is something to gain from it. Next you have people who participate in Greek Life, which in itself is similar to being an athlete in some aspects. There is that same kind of brotherhood or sisterhood similar to being on a team and everything related to that is to the fraternity or sorority they are in. Some instances you’ll have people who “crossed” and leave their former friends behind and it’s hard to navigate between folks that engage and same daily activities. All in all opposites in my opinion really don’t attract, more people who are the same connect and reconnect.

As a college student white people are deemed to have more attraction to like minded people as well. This was most prevalent during the election campaign where there were Trump supporters were coming out the wood work to express their support. Also, when it came to understanding the fears of black America and police brutality, letting black boys and young adults into the world and possible them not returning home is a tramatic experience for those who have any sense of dealing with injustices.

On a smaller scale, in the classrooms were they have not been privvied to the micoraggressions and the ways they view the plight of racism in America. Speaking from my own experience I’ve had white people express to me their lack of knowledge of the plight of black America, but expect all perspectives to be the same. Like minded individuals attract together and can identify more with their counterpart as opposed to someone who is the total opposite because they have to challenge themselves to understand the other persons perspective. To be challenged in that manner requires a level naivety that one sometimes doesn’t want to admit is not there.

[ismaelkagone]

My First Job

As spectacular the day time is, I no longer am able to experience the day time since I have started my newest gig. I have always grew accustom of working what people called the “night shift” always ducking and dodging people and barely seeing those who mattered to me. But the “night shift“ was fun because I was always able to make everything that I did very private. I was forced to be on call, but it gave me a sense of pride only because I knew I was wanted. No matter who you happen to meet even the humblest of people that feeling of being wanted was unmatched. The promises of getting another job was not in my favor, why you ask? one of the cons of working late nights is that no one is capable of your talents, dependability, and how hard you work. Fortunately for me I was able to find another job and as I continued to work that night shift I started having earlier days than more late nights. Working overtime was a new experience for me but once again it became clear to me that the more experience you have the more people want you to work for them. One thing that I learned and I hope people keep in mind is that every opportunity is the best opportunity. Maintaining relationships is very key and sometimes it does not always end amicably, but you must remain professional. 

My first post of many hopefully my writing gets better in time. I need the criticism and your comments. Peace and Blessings, Beloved. 

[ismaelkagone]

For the Fellas

Guest Post by Alicia Sowisdral of pop!goesalicia

Ugh, I hate dating. Really, I just hate the beginning. Not all of it, of course. When you are newly starting out with someone all you have is possibility and that’s exciting!  Plus, the making out is awesome. But, you also haven’t developed trust yet and that shit makes me CRAZY! You don’t know the person at all and no matter how deep you may have gotten into it during your brief (or not so brief) OKC messaging – all bets are off when you are doing actual face time. You are relying on indictors, clues, your own past experiences, feelings, emotions, signals all to give you some idea of whether you like this person and if they like you.  You are trying to learn about someone while also navigating your emotions not to mention trying to create space in your life for another person to fit.  Of course that doesn’t happen over night. It takes some compromising, probably some discomfort but it’s worth it in the end, right?

Personally, I can tell within the first 5 minutes if I want to see someone again and within the first few weeks I know if I am interested in giving it a go with him. I’m a one at a time guy kinda girl so casual dating doesn’t really appeal to me. And, honestly, this ain’t my first rodeo. After a solid 20 years of dating, I’m getting pretty good at picking them, even if most of my relationships don’t surpass the 90 day probation period that should accompany any long term commitment. I’m single because at the end of the day it is all one big fat fucking maybe.  That and the fact that the guys in my dating pool have still not quite figured out how to face all the REAL SHIT that goes along with trying to be with someone.  What’s with y’all?

Here’s the thing: There are always going to be issues in relationships – especially in the beginning.  In the beginning, we get all hopped up on possibility and allow the smallest commonalities to speak to someone’s entire personality.  OMG, he likes coke in a can! I mean, who doesn’t? It’s obviously the best way to drink it. OH! He thinks David Byrne is a genius. All that proves is he’s not a complete idiot.  Matter of fact, it really only proves that he has some valuable intelligence around music. Us ladies, we tend to let that one random piece of information speak for other facets of his personality and we allow this idea of possibility, or potential, lead us to believe that all we’ve ever wanted from relationship will be fulfilled by this person who has just entered our life. The fact that we (all of us who date) know very little about them is probably the single thing that keeps us doing it over and over again. All of us are allured by the maybe… Maybe this one will stick around or stick it out or just, ya know, stick. Because love requires all those things. And if dating isn’t about love then what the fuck is the point?

The unfortunate part about all of this is that most guys are idiots when it comes to dating.  This idiotic behavior usually presents itself around the same couple of issues most of which are culturally engrained and accepted “male” behavior.  I have also come to realize, after a brief stint with online dating, that lots of guys are happy just having the attention and affection of a girl from a distance but get all fucking weird as soon as the relationship moves offline.  But, I have to believe, that there are just as many guys out there who like girls but are just unpracticed, unaware, uncertain about what to do about it. I love men too much, especially the men in my life, to watch them make the same stupid mistakes in order to avoid their fears and feelings while loving, honest relationships slip right between their fingers

So fellas, this is my advice to you with the help of my favorite male musicians. The kind of guys I think I’d like to date – if only they were real.  See that’s the thing about me. As messy, hard, hurtful, confusing and scary as it is, or as appealing as the fantasy is, however alluring the idea…I want something and someone real. Always.

Watch out. You might get what you’re after.

Embrace vulnerability. It’s not easy but, honestly, enough is enough. Too many times have I had a guy act like he wants a relationship (calling, texting, taking me out, making out, sleeping over) only to back away when it becomes more stable…more “real.” This culture of masculinity that allows and encourages men to ignore emotions and puts the sole responsibility of relationship a female desire is bullshit.  It’s inevitable you’re going to experience hurt, fear, embarrassment – all the horrible things you have to face in order to be close to someone. We are all worried that we are going to choose to love someone and they are going to leave. If love is what you want, it requires risk. Be brave.

*Side note* this is my biggest issue with online dating. I got onto a website to help me weed out the players, the scammers, the I-don’t-know-what-I-want-ers. I didn’t sign up to be pen pals with someone who lives a mile away. If you don’t have the desire, availability, or interest in exploring a potential relationship then why are you on this website. Trust me, its way easier to meet girls who want to fuck at a bar.

Oh tell me please, that I don’t have to read between the lines.

Just say what you mean, already. Or at least try to. Don’t leave things unsaid or think that I already know. We just met! I don’t know. Keep me in the loop and share a little about how you’re feeling about me. This is really important for cultivating trust. Let me know that we are on the same page. If we are not on the same page, and you know it, but you are still letting me hang on: STOP IT.

You can’t start a fire without a spark.

A girl needs to know you’re interested. How you say it or show it is irrelevant. A girl needs to feel like spending time with her is something special, something you want to do. Even an assertive girl who is comfortable doing most of the initiating needs to know there is some intention on your end, that you’re not just saying yes because she asked or because you have nothing better to do. If you are doing either of those things: STOP IT. This is extremely important for developing trust, which is a HUGE factor for women to feel safe in relationship, both physically and emotionally.

A kiss from the window tells me she loves me and how she’s sending letters and drawings. But the letters never came. So I waited by the phone.

Relationships are made, not born. It’s something you create with someone. It doesn’t work if one person is more invested then the other.  It cannot work if one person doesn’t care. I know a lot of guys get freaked out by labels (see #1). I don’t think labels are as important to girls as the security of knowing someone is into you and, usually, a label represents that. However, when I’m confident that a guy likes me, I could care less what you want to call it.

I travel from Maine down to Mexico, to find that girl that loves me so. No matter where I’ll be I’ll find that girl and she satisfy me.

Step up or step off: Yes, I am saying this (revisit #2). No girl is waiting at home for you. Even if a girl is really into you, while you are messing around not making a move somebody else will. If you are reading this thinking “Oh well, then somebody else gets the girl” – why did you even take her out in the first place?

Noted: Richard Berry wrote this song and The Sonics made it popular but these boys made me love it:

Part Two: For the Ladies…coming soon!

*I also feel compelled to mention, while I am mostly opposed to online dating, I am not opposed to respectful and articulate fan mail.

Guys are most simple minded creatures and for women to go and make something such as dating so difficult.

[ismaelkagone]

On Women Who Like Sex

Guest post by feminist singer and songwriter, Carsie Blanton. Check her out onFacebook, Twitter and Blog.

Tomorrow, I am releasing a music video for “Backseat”, which is a song I wrote about wanting to have sex with a hot tattooed guy who unfortunately had a girlfriend. In said video, I will be dancing around in lingerie, drooling over my dear (hot tattooed guy) friend Dan, and singing some pretty thinly veiled sexual innuendo. (Update: see the videohere.)

So, this seems like the time to make my confession. Confession might not be the right word, actually, considering my last album, Idiot Heart, was more or less an epic poem on the topic. But, for those of you who don’t know me, or who aren’t big on lyrics, or who are still nursing your vision of me as an innocent young folksinger, here goes:

I like sex. A lot. I don’t like it because it’s all about love, or because it’s some kind of spiritual journey for me. I like it, mostly, because it’s just so dang fun. Because it makes me feel alive, and it allows me to share that aliveness with other people. Because it helps me to learn things about my body and mind and heart that I otherwise wouldn’t. In other words, I like sex for the same reasons I like music and dance: it is a joyful, playful, fun, surprising way to connect with people, and to explore the human experience.

So why, when I’ve written and talked extensively about music and dance, haven’t I gotten around to writing about sex? Because I am afraid of what it will mean. I’m afraid of being judged, shamed, belittled, or reprimanded. I’m afraid my fans will either run screaming into the hills, hiding their children, or become creepy stalking phone-breathers. It’s only recently occurred to me that these fears don’t belong to me; they belong to a culture with a long history of wrongheaded, destructive views about sex, especially as it pertains to women.

In my own interest, and the interest of sex-liking women everywhere, let’s get a few things straight.

1. Sex ≠ love. I think the idea that sex and love are the same thing (perpetuated throughout the world for much of recent history by religion, art, literature and advertising) is responsible for many of our misconceptions about both, so let’s get this one out of the way first.

Clearly, on occasion, people who aren’t in love have sex. Clearly, also, people love other people and don’t have sex with them. I’m not saying they’re mutually exclusive, but neither are they inextricably linked. Love and sex, like milk and cookies, pair well; but neither is required for the enjoyment of the other.

2. Women like sex just as much as men. Countless theories have been put forth over the past few centuries about why women don’t like sex. Without going into the tedious details, let me state my own opinion on the matter: they do.

If you don’t buy it, let’s do an experiment. Let’s start a new culture where women, from their girlhood, are told that sexual pleasure is a natural, fun part of being female. They are never told that sex is dangerous, dirty or weird. They are never badgered, shamed, pressured or forced into any sexual experience. When they become interested in sex with other people, they are encouraged to explore it in a consensual, safe, fun way, with whomever they find themselves attracted to. All of their sexual partners are caring, communicative, generous, and happy to take direction.

That will be our control group.

3. It is not “dangerous” to like sex. All people are vulnerable to rape and sexual assault. All sexually active people are vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections. I don’t believe there is anything about liking sex, or acknowledging it, that puts me in a more vulnerable position.

That’s not to say that there are no risks to having sex, but those risks are not higher than, say, driving a car. Driving a car is generally considered a justifiable risk, whereas having sex – colored by its cultural legacy of shame – is not.

4. Women who like sex will not necessarily have sex with you. This, my friends, is the clincher.

When I find myself in a conversation about sex, and mention that I am a fan of the activity, the men in the room tend to get very nervous, very handsy, or very surly. I think this is due to a common misconception: that women who like sex will “give it up” to anybody. Like, our brains will be so flooded with arousal endorphins that we’ll transform into some kind of pansexual nymph.

Women who like sex still have all our wits about us. Like most people, we only want to have sex with people who we think are attractive, and trustworthy, and with whom we have chemistry.

In conclusion: I just made a music video that is sexy, based on a song that is about sex. Why? Because I like sex. I like sex that is loving and profound, and I like sex that is fun and casual. I like sex as much as any man I know. I am not a weirdo and I am not in any excessive danger. I like sex, but that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you.

Probably.

After I read this it made me wonder why men have this problem if they say these things they are messing with women emotion or they are playing women. For a women to exhibit the journey of having something spiritual with men is hypocritical because she didn't want to be judge so she refrained from actually saying how she felt but if a man expresses the love for sex he is ridiculed. Makes absolutely no sense but the world will never change and embrace that sex is normal and the number of partners does not classify you as a manwhore.