jakehammer

[jakehammer]

everyvictory.

     ❝–- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GET ON MY SEAT, PERALTA?❞

❛   why do you think i got something on your seat  --   hitchcock ate his lunch at your desk ... yeah, that’s gross.    ❜

#everyvictory #🔫 ┇ ❛ MAIN VERSE. ( replies. ) #gtg

[jakehammer]

❛   why is it so wet  --   the title of your sex tape.   ❜

#🔫 ┇ ❛ closed. #everyvictory #glkmlhfk

[jakehammer]

silhoucttes.

   ❛  jake, my man, it took you forty-five minutes to figure that out. in the time you’ve been standing here i ate breakfast, lunch and got in my afternoon nap. scully’s gone to the bathroom six times. charles got married and divorced AGAIN.   ❜

❛   SERIOUSLY ?  you too ?  i caught the guy using a bottle of orange soda and a squirt gun. no one but boyle will listen to the story  -- and he was there.   ha. ha.  WELL, the real joke .. is on a’you guys - because now you’ll never hear the epic story of how i, jake peralta, am a crafty, intelligent but still handsome and equally badass detective and caught the most TWISTED perp in this precinct.    ❜

#silhoucttes #🔫 ┇ ❛ MAIN VERSE. ( replies. )

[jakehammer]

#🔫 ┇ ❛ I'M GOING FULL DOUCHE. ( jake peralta. ) #🔫 ┇ ❛ DETECTIVE TERRIBLE DETECTIVE. ( amy santiago. ) #good

[jakehammer]

jake peralta + nooooo

#🔫 ┇ ❛ I'M GOING FULL DOUCHE. ( jake peralta. ) #same

[jakehammer]

❛   and ... ---  you’re definitely  not  listening to a thing i’m saying to you. ‘ight ‘ight ‘ight. ‘kay. that’s cool. i’ll wait.   ❜

#silhoucttes #🔫 ┇ ❛ closed. #b*tch

[jakehammer]

          YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET NAILED BY THE JAKE HAMMER.   (  under co.  )

#brooklyn 99 rp #b99 rp #indie rp #to be tagged. #listen ... i probably wont post anything rp wise on here for a few days but