jasperwocky

[jasperwocky]

If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream

[jasperwocky]

i’m probably missing some aspect of this but damn i really struggle to feel bad when straight passing queer people complain that no one can tell they’re queer. like you know you can look gayer right? i don’t need every queer person to be the peak of gender nonconformity but like… dye your hair. wear a pin. get a little more alternative with your fashion. tbh i think a decent amount of them don’t actually want to be read as queer because it’s forsaking a layer of privilege, which is fair but again, a thing you chose not to do. like you don’t want to do the things that get you read as queer by straight people that’s ok but you can’t then be upset that queer people can’t tell you’re queer. plus i feel like a lot of the time when they complain about this it comes with some expectation that those of us who don’t or can’t blend into straight cis society go out of our way to include or hit on people who appear straight, with zero consideration for why we don’t do that.

[jasperwocky]

i quit vaping and public bathrooms just aren’t the same #missingyou

[jasperwocky]

[jasperwocky]

[jasperwocky]

new take on this persistent fear

[jasperwocky]

Customer: 1 TUNRDA (BACKWARDS) DMV: one hard nut. Does have a toyota truck on ani Verdict: DENIED

#one ‘ard nut

[jasperwocky]

spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

[jasperwocky]

not only does fluttershy smoke weed, the first time she did was at a party one of the other ponies brought her to. she was passed the bong and weakly said “oh… sorry. i don’t smoke, i’ll cough and it’ll be really embarrassing.”

other ponies are like “nah you can do it! we won’t laugh!” and then she was like “ohh… okay…” and then just took the fattest bong rip, held it for 3 seconds, exhaled. everyone is in shock. she then does a weak little not-even cough and goes “ohh… i knew it… and now you’re all staring at me :(” and runs away

[jasperwocky]

im going to drink a $7 light beer at the zoo and become the jane goodall of leafcutter ants

[jasperwocky]

im so tired of john bizarre adventure. i dont want to see those large and colorful men on my dashboard anymore

[jasperwocky]

hey guys i’m new to being a furry so sorry if this is a dumb question but how do they kiss each other if they have snouts. like how do they make out. how do they kiss with tongue is my question basically

#like is it some sort of mouth-scissoring situation or do they kind of lick each other #or are long snouts anthro enough that we say they just sniff butt and call it a day #there’s a lot of questions tbh and maybe there should be like a furry manual #for beginners yk #no matter how you spin it it’s gotta be all teeth tho right? #furry

[jasperwocky]

HELLO whoever at buzzfeed made him read a lesbian-on-gay thirst tweet you are my idol

[jasperwocky]

ticks me off how a lot of people act like which bathroom a trans person goes into is an act of personal validation rather than a carefully weighed decision for our literal safety that is impossible for us all to get right 100% of the time

[jasperwocky]

[jasperwocky]

If the government really wanted to actually cut down on vape usage they would force manufacturers to add an unmutable slide whistle sound effect that played every time you take a hit

[jasperwocky]

Me sexting: what would you do if you found me with my hands tied ;) My feminist bf: I Would Free You