jaymgates

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Chronicles: New House!

We've been talking for a while about getting a forever place. We'd discussed buying property and building to suit, but it's Seattle, and unbuilt property is pretty hard to find. Plus, the logistics suck.

Earlier this year, we thought about maybe buying, but good lord, that market. So we stopped looking. And then the house that I couldn't stop thinking about went back on the market because the potential buyers couldn't get their down payment together.

A month and a half later, I'm sitting in our new house. We haven't moved in yet, but I need to be here for the contractor. But we had to introduce Sif and Baldr to the house, of course!

The best part about this new place is that it has almost 5 acres, fully fenced, and it's almost all meadow, with a small pond and some trees. Can you say 'heaven' for two big, active dogs? The minute we let them out of the car, they began galloping around, exploring.

But they really wanted to go into the house, and as soon as my partner started unlocking the door, they ran up and stared intently at it.

The house is super long, built around a central hallway, and Baldr quickly discovered that he can get up to a full gallop without having to make it around any corners. It's partly carpeted, too, which makes them happy.

Being Shepherds, they did a precision sweep of the entire house (even making us open the closets). It was like watching a drill team. Once they were satisfied, they started running around.

It was like a heard of elephants.

We don't technically move til Sunday, but I am so ready to be settled here. Having more room for the dogs will make everyone happier.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Light's On, Nobody Home

Baldr had stopped chasing moving light for a bit, but, for some reason, he's back on that again.

Which is hilarious every time I open the front door during the day, because there's cut glass in it that reflects pieces of light on the floor in front of the bookcase and I, too, am easily entertained.

Baldr is now convinced that light lives under the bookcase.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Baldr Like a Cookie

Have confirmed that Baldr can hear his name said, very softly, from the other side of the house...when there's a cookie involved. Sif got a cookie and I said "Would Baldr like a cookie" at one of my quietest tones and then heard the distinct and distant sound of a Derpwolf turning into a cookie-seeking missile.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Bath Shenanigans

Sooooo, Baldr has figured out the warning signs of "bath time."

It's even funnier now, because he comes in so furtively and is clearly like "I can't disobey but oh god oh god oh god shit, she saw me, maybe if I duck into the hallway she'll forget..."

And then we have the politest passive resistance ever as I lead him by the collar but he is moving like a snail and trying his best Shepherd Eyes on me and then checks every time he's put a foot in the bath to see if by any chance I've changed my mind, then stands with the most mournful, betrayed expression, occasionally giving me a hopeful paw in mute supplication.

When we're finally done, he goes and sits perfectly in front of where he knows the cookies are waiting while I swaddle him up in towels and dry him off.

Sif, however, was having none of this and spent the entire bath trying to wiggle out of the tub while glaring daggers at me.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - SQUONK

The entertainment value of giving Baldr a new toy that goes "SQUONK" every time he nibbles it, right before having a discussion with your partner, cannot be overstated.

"Okay so--"SQUONK"--we need to--"SQUONK"--if we--"SQUONK""

*everyone stops and stares at Baldr. He wags, because humans are looking at him, and is silent.*

"I think--"SQUONK SQUONK SQUONK."

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Signs

Stop reading now is canine bodily functions bother you, because Baldr managed to outdo even himself tonight.

So, since we got him, he's been real special about, well, all his bathroom habits. He's gaslit himself about peeing before. He forgets he's peeing and runs off on three legs. He falls over. He gets so determined to pee on something that he'll be literally in a bush or tree. He's tripped and gotten stuck on things while peeing. He's peed on himself, on his sister, and very nearly on us.

All of this pales in comparison to his very special pooping habits.

See, Baldr needs to feel safe, secure, and protected in this vulnerable time. Usually this manifests as going in bushes or tall grass. Sometimes he wedges his butt into blackberry or rose brambles. Often he'll choose an unlucky fern or day lily at the local park, back in, nestle his butt down, and basically be the world's most disturbing flower. He's gone ON fences and tree trunks.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE SPECIAL BEHAVIOR.

No, the special behavior is that sometimes he forgets which thing he needs to do, so he starts to pee. Lifts his leg, cozies up to a fence/tree/bush/sign...and poops.

We've sort of gotten used to that. We didn't think he could surprise us anymore.

My friends...we were wrong. So very, very wrong.

Tonight, he hoisted his leg against a street sign post. His foot came to rest on the post. It slid down a little. It got stuck. And then we were like "wait, he's not peeing."

Nope, he'd gone to pee, gotten himself stuck on the post, and suddenly realized he had another, more urgent need.

But he was stuck, so he couldn't lower his butt.

So he pooped. On his own leg. While standing. Stuck to a fence post.

At this point, I am genuinely terrified of what he's going to find to surprise us with next.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Levels of Hell

We've been having some trouble de-fluffing Baldr, because he still has a little shelter coat on some ticklish spots, so we sent him to the groomer today.

Sif was NOT happy. She spent the entire time aggressively moping. Since Dylan was out diving, I didn't want to leave her in the house when I went to pick Baldr up.

She loved that. Adventure! In the car! With mom! And, because she's smart, pretty sure she knew we were heading off to pick up the missing pack member.

And then we got out at the store, and her entire outlook changed.

Sif *hates* pet stores. I've taken her out in public enough times to know she's usually a little nervous but relatively game, while pet stores are almost at vet level. Given her trauma around visiting kennels when we were meeting Dante and Baldr, I think she's worried we'll leave her there, so I always work extra hard to keep her checked in.

Which means that, every time we go to the vet or pet store, she gets spoiled rotten. So, after carefully examining ALL the rawhides and bones (she is very good and has only shoplifted once (I did pay for it, since she'd already had it in her mouth)), we picked out some non-rawhide treats and a couple of toys, and got in line. She's a pretty girl, so the guy in line behind us was commenting gently at her and asking questions about her breed, while she watched for him to turn into an axe-murderer.

We checked out, during which I was taken in short, high-speed journeys toward the door at least three times (76lbs, built like a little tank...she gets momentum). I finally managed to get the card into the reader and then back into my wallet, and the sympathetic clerk handed me the bag of stuff as we began a hasty exit stage left.

We had to go to the other side of the store to get Baldr, so we had a brief argument until she saw the other door, at which point she started kiting me in the new direction...

...and learned that doors can, in fact, be a lie and instead of letting her out of her personal hell, take her into a lower level of hell.

Sif doesn't like pet stores. Sif *hates* groomers.

So I'm standing in the doorway, holding the heavy door open into a small space, trying to convince her to go in, trying to hold onto the bag, and making apologetic sounds at the groomer.

We finally made it in, Baldr was brought out (strolling the whole way), and then there were four of us in a space about the size of a cubicle.

Baldr fills a lot of space. Sif was trying to break out. There were leashes everywhere, I still had a bag, the groomer was trying to talk to me, and I don't remember how we sorted it out, but I finally opened the door and was yeeted out by 150lbs of Shepherd on a beeline trajectory for my truck.

They both jumped in at the same time, which was ALSO hilarious.

Anyways, we eventually got home, Baldr was apparently one of their best clients ever (the groomer was gushing about how unfazed he was), and everything is right with their world again.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - You're Very Pretty

It's been a while since we did Baldr Stories, but the last couple of days...

*

Dylan comes in from letting the dogs into the yard, and I comment on Baldr being barky.

"Oh, there's construction going on somewhere, but he decided it was the trees making the sound, so he barked at them. Then the sound would stop, and he'd go away, and then it would start up and he'd go back to barking at the trees."

*

Last night, Dylan had me sit on the floor in front of the couch so he could work on my shoulder. But, "Dad sitting=playtime" in Baldr's mind, so he grabbed a toy and brought it over. When that didn't work, he started throwing it at Dylan, which meant I was being repeatedly hit with a slobbery toy.

When THAT didn't work, he took the toy in his mouth and held it against my shoulder and squeaked intently, hoping to activate the magical button of "PLAY!"

*

Also in last night's play attempts, he got distracted by something and froze. No-blink, no-wag, no-move froze, staring at the ceiling. Dylan said his name, and he came back online, wagging.

*

Also also last night, he grabbed a toy, shook it, but it hit the fireplace grate and made a loud noise. He fled the toy and went to get another one.

*

He wanted to play, so he was running happily around the yard, grabbing sticks as he passed. The hose apparently looked like a stick, but did not act like one. He soon found something else to do.

*

Dylan had food. Baldr sat facing the cabinets behind Dylan, staring hopefully as he drooled. When Dylan spoke, Baldr looked over his shoulder and was delighted to discover a human.

*

Carey commented that she's teaching Dante the names of his toys so he can get specific ones. I replied that we're still trying to teach Baldr his name so he can get himself.

*

Dylan got a spoon out of the drawer. Baldr started drooling copiously.

*

These are only the highlights. As I have said before, this is the dog the phrase "You're very pretty" was made for.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - High as a Kite

So, we've had quite a bit of thunder, by Seattle standards, in the last 24 hours. Neither dog likes it, but Baldr is flat-out terrified of it (the bigger the Shepherd, the bigger the scaredy-cat). Since I don't know how much more thunder we're getting, I gave him a couple of calming treats with CBD.

Now, I know this isn't like giving him THC, but it's Baldr. His one brain cell doesn't need much.

Baldr is high as a kite.

It's a very gentle high. He stares into space. He intently sniffs the arm of a chair which hasn't been touched in days. He stares just to the right of your head and wags with a vague joy. He follows you around the house and bounces gently off of permanent objects.

The house is getting cleaned this afternoon, so I was collecting stuff to close them in the office with me, which meant taking down the blue bin that has all their special treats. Baldr knows that bin well, so he sat, very politely, and hoped. I sort of ignored him because I'm used to this.

And then I happen to look over.

Yes, Baldr is sitting. He is intently focused...on a point somewhere between me and his face. He is a little cross-eyed.

And he has, as we say, forgotten his teef.

All of them.

His entire upper lip is caught up on his gums above his teeth.

I wish to god I had a camera. It was the single derpiest, most ridiculous, more sincerely I Am A Good Boy But The Walls Are Speaking To Me look I've ever seen out of a dog who is...a very good boy who often thinks the ceiling has asked him to sit.

Baldr was extremely in the present. I just don't know which present, because it wasn't any reality I recognized.

I couldn't not give him a cookie. Sif took hers very politely (she is only moderately stoned, as she dislikes the cookies and gets more anxious past a certain threshold), carried it off, and ate it.

Baldr inspected the cookie in my hand. It's a cookie he likes.

But I had a bag of Other Cookies in my other hand, and he decided those were probably better cookies.

So, he politely declined the cookie.

I offered it again.

He took it, dropped it on the floor, and stared at the other cookies.

He finally took the thing and ate it, but it was clear I was deeply disappointing him in the paucity of my offerings.

Baldr is currently somewhere in the office. I don't know where, and I am slightly afraid to look.

Baldr is still very high.

Update: I found him. He's sitting, facing the door into the rest of the house, wagging hopefully because he hears a person inside and he very much wants to go say hi to Friend.

Sif, meanwhile, is lying at the entrance to my office, alternating between glaring at the door and glaring at me for not taking her warnings seriously enough.

Second update: Baldr is still stoned.

Dylan came out, so we gave them these big, yogurt-covered cookies they love.

Baldr looked at it.

Baldr licked it. Several times.

Baldr could not figure out how to pick it up.

So, Dylan held it for him, and he licked it and then figured out how to take a bite. Dylan put the cookie down.

This was a whole new puzzle. Baldr licked the cookie. Unfortunately, his spatial reasoning is still...unstaffed by brain cells...so he missed and licked the carpet.

I think his brain shorted out. He just froze there, tongue on the carpet, clearly unable to process "this should taste like cookie but...does not?"

He finally recovered, licked it a few more times, awkwardly mouthed it, and, at last, figured out how to crunch into it.

He ate the cookie, and now he's licking the carpet again.

Baldr is so high.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Bath Radar

So, after a year and a half of living with us, Baldr has developed the faintest whiff of bath radar.

And by 'faintest whiff'...

I gave Sif her bath, to the usual quiet suffering and woe. Gave her the required cookie, and she charged off.

I called Baldr, who apparently put together "sister has a cookie" and came charging around the couch toward the bathroom. About eight feet from me, the "oh shit" lightbulb visibly went off over his head.

But he knew it was too late to pretend he hadn't seen or heard me, and by the time all this processed, he was almost to the bathroom.

But wait! Dad's office! Maybe I can pretend that's where I'm headed!

So, he veers off into the office.

Except...Dylan isn't home. Baldr is about halfway in when I see his tail drop.

"Baldr."

He sulks back around the counter, still visibly trying to figure out how to escape.

He sees the cookie. Cookie!

He comes into the bathroom. I close the door.

He remembers what comes before the cookie.

"Baldr."

He goes to the bathtub and looks at me.

"Baldr."

He laboriously puts his front feet in the tub, then stops and looks hopefully at me.

"Baldr."

He climbs the Everest of getting his back feet in, but his heart is visibly breaking at this terrible injustice. He is very polite, however, and gives me his paws and only tries to make a break for it a couple of times in the politest way possible.

Finally, he is freed, and gets his cookie, which is hilariously like feeding a voracious monster with impeccable manners. The maw envelopes the cookie but not your entire arm, which it probably could.

Baldr runs back out, having survived the bath.

Sif mugs him for his cookie.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Mighty Hunter

More Baldr shenanigans. TW for mentions of prey drive, rats, and small furry danger.

So, Baldr is a deadly and dedicated hunter. He's been trained not to just launch after any squirrel he sees, but off-leash, he's taught the local rodentry some fear, if not manners.

For a couple of rats, that's been their final lesson. He is *very* good at hunting. I think that's where all his other brain cells live, and he only has one for everything else.

Anyways, rats are an issue in this part of the state. We hadn't had issues with them for years, but a couple of years ago, I noticed a vegetable in the garden would start to get ripe, and then just...disappear. We later found a literal rats nest in the woodpile, filled with rotting produce.

I'd have apologized for blaming the squirrels, but given the asshole who discovered I'd harvested my corn before she could and then stared me in the eye as she snapped off the top of the cornstalk and carried it away, I felt ZERO guilt.

Anyways, this was before we had Baldr. We cleaned it up, which was a gruesome and awful task, and the problem seemed solved.

However, the next year, an exterminator was going door to door, and suddenly rats were showing up again. We made a lot of Pied Piper jokes, but we suspect someone else had an extermination and the survivors scattered to the neighbors. We also have a lovely wetlands area literally across the street from us, and lots of brushy, treed areas (and even coyotes!), so it isn't surprising.

But, we had Baldr by that time.

Two rats were a short, sharp squeak, followed by a merry game of keep-away around the entire yard because Baldr was VERY proud but discovered he wasn't allowed to keep his bounty. That second one took me twenty minutes of endless pursuit.

We trapped a bunch more rats before Baldr could get them. Again the problem seemed to be solved, and my ire turned to the rabbit who has started coming up on the deck to stare at the dogs, which is a truly terrible life plan.

While Dylan was gone, however, I took the dogs out onto the back deck so I could do some gardening on a rare sunny day. They screeched out of the door, I heard a wild scramble, and a rat shot into the dubious protection of the space between the house and my gardening supplies.

Right next to the open door.

THAT was exciting.

I finally got the dogs inside while keeping the rat outside, and chased it off the deck. Discovered that rats like slug and snail bait. Cleaned that up, rearranged some things.

Things quieted down for a while.

But the other day, we heard a crash on the back deck after dark. Turned the light on, and the dogs nearly went through the door because the rat was back, looking for more snail bait.

Turned the light off, went to bed. That was tomorrow's problem.

Yesterday, we finally got the rat and rehomed it into the wilds a few miles away on our way up to the barn. (Yes, I am aware this is potentially problematic as well, but we can't and won't use poison, and they're endemic around here anyways, so this is our least gruesome option).

Baldr was absolutely incensed that we weren't giving him the rat, and pawed at the fence and gate when the trapped rat was in the driveway. (Sif also really, really wanted it, but she's less cold-blooded and obsessed than her brother).

Stuck the empty live trap against the house where it would be out of the way until needed again. Didn't think anything of it.

This morning, I let the dogs out. Baldr ran around the corner, like he often does.

All the sudden, I hear this metallic clatter. Confused, I wander around the corner.

Baldr has found the trap.

The EMPTY trap.

But it's Baldr, and the trap smells like one of his favorite things, so surely the trap is a rat.

He paws at it a couple of times. That doesn't work.

So, he nibbles it, like a favorite cookie.

I could SEE the confusion on his face.

Smells like rat. Tastes like not-rat.

He nibbled it again. Still not-rat.

So he picks it up between his front teeth to carry it off.

It's apparently heavier than expected, because he drops it, and it tumbles toward him.

Not-rat is now attacking him. He leaps back and stares at it in horror and confusion.

Nibbles and paws it again. Still not-rat, but doesn't attack him.

He tries to pick it up again. It attacks him again.

At this point, I can see him getting mad, so between helpless laughter, I collar him and drag him inside, despite the intent and active resistance of every fiber of his being. He then began running around inside the house, looking for it.

Dylan goes and moves the not-rat out of Baldr's sphere of awareness. I gave the dogs cookies, which successfully switched the single track of Baldr's mind.

He's very pretty. He's a very good hunter.

But he's still Baldr.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Full Contact Cuddles

Baldr sometimes likes being cuddled at bedtime.

Unfortunately, cuddling Baldr is an Olympic sport. This isn't passive, content-with-body-contact affection. No, cuddling is an active, energetic situation where the human pets Baldr wherever Baldr wants it.

But, humans fall asleep. Dylan, in particular, sleeps like a proverbial log.

So, he'll start falling asleep, and the petting will slow. Baldr wiggles and groans, and gets a moment or two more of petting.

Soon, wiggles are not enough. Dylan is Sleeping and the Second Coming won't wake him up.

Baldr is nothing if not persistent, so he begins escalating his reminders that Dylan is shirking his duty.

Sadly, it continues not to work.

Never fear! Baldr's one brain cell is committed to this course of action.

So, the entire bed shakes as 80lbs of dog body-checks a blissfully sleeping human in hopes of more pets.

And shakes.

It's impressive, the amount of force this dog can generate without moving much.

Alas, it is hopeless. Dylan is asleep, and I'm not the designated evening snuggler (mornings are my shift). On normal nights, Baldr finally gives up and goes to sleep on the couch, where humans won't disrupt his delicate slumbers by turning over or moving in their sleep.

But Dylan has been gone for a week, and while the body checks happened, tonight the body contact is enough, and Baldr is nestled against his dad's side, asleep in his arms.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Bed Hogs

I washed the bedding today and haven't gotten around to remaking the bed, which means the bedroom is closed off.

Sif would like to go to bed, and she will make sure I can't do ANYTHING else until her routine is restored.

Edit: Okay, it got funnier.

Usually, Dylan and I make the bed together. With a king, it's way easier than 1 person. Anyways, when we do this, the dogs are locked out to prevent one or both being made into the bed.

Tonight, I let them supervise, because it was that or navigate Sandbar de Sif, who parked herself square in the doorway and pouted at me.

We have a dog bed at the foot of the big bed, which is where Baldr usually sleeps, because humans move too much. Sif parked herself there and supervised. Baldr supervised from the side of the bed. Which was fine.

Except then Baldr got bored. He went and fetched one of his bones, brought it into the room, and flooped on the dog bed.

Which already contained Sif.

Sif has *very* clear guidelines on how many dogs one surface may contain, and the number is not two. This is the dog who tries to manipulate us into kicking her brother off the couch regularly.

The outrage on her face was hilarious.

But I wasn't allowing her up yet, and she wasn't going to lie on the rug like a PEASANT.

So, she stayed on the bed. Her brother was lying on half, happily chewing. Sif was lying on the other.

You know those things where someone gets a little personal thunderstorm over them to portray their mood? But she stayed.

I finally finished and she immediately jumped up. She tried a couple of places to make sure it was satisfactory, then came to give me kisses as a thank you, and snuggled her head on my shoulder for a minute.

And now she is asleep on Dylan's pillows, and will likely start snoring soon.

Baldr, meanwhile, is on his bed, sending me to sleep with the dulcet sounds of werewolf jaws cracking bison horns and the faint, soothing aroma of wet bone.

I think he fell asleep mid-chew.

[jaymgates]

Baldr & Sif Tales - Stick Wars

So, we had a nasty windstorm a while back that brought down a ton of tree debris, including sticks. Baldr has been in heaven, happily hauling around sticks that are six feet long, to the detriment of knees and thighs.

Fortunately, they're awkward, and he loses interest fairly quickly.

However, these sticks have been breaking down, and they have finally reached Optimum Baldr Entertainment Length.

Tonight, he grabbed a stick of probably around three feet long, and promptly lit out down the sidewalk, tail wagging so hard he could hardly walk.

Unfortunately, he was carrying it at one end, so it was sticking out into the street. Also into our thighs. And knees. And shins. And Sif.

So, he gets about half a block, dropping it and pouncing on it every few feet. It's very cute, he's very happy.

Sif, however, has Really Strong Feelings about sticks. Sticks are sacred.

Finally, after about a block, she has Had Enough and grabs the stick. She does this thing where she just clenches her jaws and waits. She's our little tank, and he has no attention span, so it's usually over quickly.

Except that he really liked this stick.

So he didn't let go.

In fact, he started walking off with it again.

Dragging her with him.

Except, as previously mentioned, she's a tank. Dragging her is not a particularly successful endeavor.

So they start this round and round tussle, each with their own end of the stick.

Which is, as I mentioned, about three feet long, and the dogs are on six-foot leashes.

Dylan, at this point, is just trying so hard not be stabbed that he is also dancing around.

I'm laughing so hard I'm about to lose the ability to breathe.

This goes on for an entire block, a furry, delighted, stabby tornado of dog and primitive spear, with two humans helplessly yo-yo'd along behind, laughing too hard to get control of the situation.

Baldr finally gets distracted by something, and Sif promptly clenches it in her jaws and trots off.

Sif is all business when she has a stick. Straight ahead, brisk trot, stick held exactly in the middle, undistracted.

Baldr, however, is stickless.

His sister has a stick.

He wants the stick.

So he keeps making passes at it.

Sif gracefully evades him each time, and he's smart enough to know not to argue too hard. But he gets stabbed in...sensitive...bits for it, when she avoids him.

She drops it once, but quickly gets back to business.

Baldr, meanwhile, is on a path which could, very kindly, be described as unpredictable.

He's making passes for the stick, looking for new sticks, trying to head her off, grabbing her leash because he thinks it's a stick...

...Sif trots on, unperturbed. When Baldr doesn't move fast enough, his heels get thwacked with the stick. When he veers into her, he gets poked with the stick.

She finally abandons the stick in her usual place just around the corner from the house. I quietly pick it up, carry it a few feet, and toss it toward Baldr as we turn into the driveway.

In utter delight, he pounces, reclaiming it.

And promptly lashes Dylan squarely across the shins.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Chew Done It

So, I'm sitting quietly at my desk, working on some things, when Sif runs in and parks her butt right next to me.

I look at her.

She looks at me, ears plastered, and wiggles.

Uh-oh.

I tried bribing her with a cookie.

Nope, she ran to her bed next to my desk and flopped, staring joyfully at me.

It's never a good thing when Sif is joyful. It usually means either, A) Baldr is in trouble, or B) Sif is in trouble.

Remembering that I'd given them chews and realizing it was pretty quiet, I decided to investigate.

"What?" I asked her, getting up.

She wiggled and ran to the office door, then checked to see if I was following.

"What?"

Grin, wiggle.

And, hmmm, there's her chew, barely touched, discarded in the walkway.

*Definitely* sus.

She bounces up into the game room, wagging and grinning at me. She's terribly pleased with herself.

I follow her into the living room. Baldr looks up from his chew and wags.

Sif prances toward the back door like she wants to go out.

Baldr, who loves going out, bolts up and runs to the door...taking the rest of his chew with him because he HAS actually learned some self-preservation.

And as soon as he gets over by the door, my goddamned little thief comes scampering back to the bed and practically faceplants in it, looking for BALDR'S chew.

Baldr watches, looking possibly a little smug, chew firmly in his mouth.

She glares at him, and then gives me the Ears of Displeasure.

My evil little darling didn't want her chew, she wanted Baldr's, and she tried to use me as the patsy. Unfortunately, she's overplayed her paw and we're both learning her ways.

She's chewing on her own chew now, deeply annoyed.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Misc.

Due to some poor choices on Baldr's part, the dogs got surprise baths. Sif is unamused. Baldr has the zoomies.

Update: currently Baldr is sneaking up on the toy box, gingerly pulling a toy out with his front teeth, then galloping off at high speed, abandoning the toy in the bedroom, and repeating the process.

*

Sif is on 'her' couch. Baldr is on the bed at the foot of the couch, chewing his bone.

Sif is swooned over the arm of the couch, staring fixedly at me and crying dramatically and nonstop because he's chewing 'her' bone too close to her.

"Get another dog," they said. "It'll make your life easier," they said...

*

We let the dogs out separately in the morning, and Sif goes first, so Baldr always runs into the bedroom andjumps on the bed so he can stare out the window.

He just jumped up and ran into the window with an audible bonk, then was pressed against the window so hard his nose actually squeaked when he tried to turn his head.

He is VERY pretty.

*

*I* am trying to fill out necessary forms for my job.

*Sif* is crying because Baldr has also discovered how cozy the loveseat is, and got to it before she did, and everything is the worst YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MOM.

At least she didn't do this while I was doing the phone screen with a candidate.

*

Sif yawned, and Baldr stuck his nose in her mouth to see what was going on.

*

Baldr is such a good boy. The whole thing with the hauler pulled the emotional rug out from under me and Baldr ran in and swarmed up to make me pet him, then wrapped himself around me with the most intense, focused snuggles I've ever seen from him. I ended up sitting on the floor and he crawled into my lap so I could hug and love on him.

He is the best boy. (Sif is more like me, and after checking on me, woofed at the door to let me know she was on guard.)

*

We gave the dogs empty peanut butter jars. Sif is fine.

Baldr is alternating between licking the outside and licking it in a way that is *extremely* upsetting and wrong, and I'm just going to leave it at that.

*

VR headset: "Please clear all obstacles from the outlined area."

Baldr: *lies against my heels*

Sif: *grabs her bone and starts chewing on it next to me*

Baldr: *protests every time I bump him with my foot as I try to work out without stepping on the invisible dog*

And now he's licking my knee as I type this.

*

Poor Baldr. Sif has figured out how trusting he is, and just kicked him off her favorite couch by pretending she wanted to play with him.

*

Baldr wanted to cuddle, so he started out with his head on my thigh and his butt on Dylan's ribs. But I moved, so he got up and, after stepping on my IT band, belly, and side, wound up lying on me, elbows digging into my hip.

But that wasn't comfy, so he moved to my feet. ON my feet.

But then he was falling off, and my feet were not comfy.

So he moved back onto my hip.

Nope.

Flopped on Dylan...and on Sif, who was quite affronted.

Nope.

Snuggled against my back.

Nope.

Head in my arm pit? Nope.

My feet?

Nope.

He finally gave up and went to his bed on the floor, because apparently he's been sleeping on my pillows and since I also want to sleep on my pillows, he's out of luck. (No, he does not get my pillows.)

80lbs of dog huffing and flopping around even a king bed is a little disruptive.

*

Baldr and I are now both on Benadryl for some allergy issues.

BEFORE it kicked in, he'd run face-first THROUGH his sister's leg in pursuit of a toy, and then, a few minutes later, tried to jump her.

National Velvet, he ain't. Sif's face was...murderous.

And then he discovered the alcove in the bathroom, explored it thoroughly, and then got entranced because Dylan moved his hand, creating a moving shadow.

*

How is my morning going? I'm up early for a team meeting, so I let the dogs out in a very frosty yard...where Baldr ran to the fence and barked sadly at it because there was a patch of sunlight that wasn't moving and he wanted it to move so he could play with it.

[jaymgates]

Sif & Baldr Tales - Cone of Bodily Harm

Poor Sif. Baldr has absolutely zero sense of boundaries and very little awareness of his surroundings at the best of times. He keeps just slamming the cone into her as he gallops around, trying to stay involved in everything, and she is really over it.