just-eldestdaughter-things

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Mhm being the oldest isn’t an easy job but when you find a new character with older sister energy and you relate so hard it’s just :)))))))))))))

#lillith clawthorne #oldest #eldest daughter #lillith toh #toh season 2

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

it’s byler month bitches

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Me at dinner: *touches my potato while it’s really hot and hurts hand*

*halfway through dinner and it’s still hurting*

Me: Um, so I touched my potato while it was still really hot and it still hurt plus this was like 15 minutes ago—

Mom: aww the baby hurt her finger!

Family: *laughs*

Me, internally: n e v e r A g a i n.

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

why must sexy people [eldest daughters] suffer the most

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Being an eldest daughter means I cook, clean, buy groceries, work, take extra classes, facilitate my own travel if I ever get to go out of town, constantly do dishes, do the house's laundry, and still get grounded if my father so chooses. I've changed so many more diapers than our dad. I'm 16!

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Ok but what about the eldest daughters who read to escape reality, the ones who have crippling anxiety, the ones that don't talk about their issues because other people have it worse what about the ones that the ones that love their siblings but you have to be better than them all the time and them not get as appreciated for it so in a way you hate your siblings. The eldest daughters who aren't noticed until they mess up, until their grade goes down. The ones that everyone relies on all the time and they can't let anybody down or they'll feel indescribable guilt for it

Just shower thoughts yknow

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

You master the art of compromising and handling responsibilities when you're the eldest daughter.

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

being the gifted eldest daughter is like *shows an interest* *gets mocked for it* *struggles socially* *has unfair expectations placed on her* *ignored until exceptional* *burns out at 16* *never gets parental support* *third parent* *needs attention but cant ask for it bc ‘youre so mature’*

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

my best friend, who is the youngest child, said that eldest siblings always consider themselves the one who suffer the most just because they're the eldest and that's not true.

and i mean, maybe she's right, maybe we don't always suffer the most, maybe they have it worse

but what i'm saying is that they'll never have to be their mother's therapist, they'll never have to be a third parent, they'll never feel that longing pressure to be the best in everything , they'll never have to be there for everyone , they'll never have to worry about their siblings' future, they'll never have to worry about where the money would come from or how they would live if any of their parents died, they'll never feel that deep hate for their parents, or for themselves for not saving everyone, and they'll never have to suffer all of that alone.

maybe we don't suffer the most, but there are certainly some things they'll never experience just because they're not the eldest, and i really wish they would realize that..

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Watching the Goldbergs is weird.

It kind of got worse as the show progressed, but I still watch it, the characters got more annoying, but I still like them.

The point of this is saying that I relate to Erica Goldberg so much and we’re gonna talk about that.

She was kind of toxic and annoying at times, but none the less I felt a big connection to her. And for me, it happens a lot when I’m reading that I can relate to a character a lot. But with tv show, it’s a different story.

Eldest daughters are usually portrayed as popular dumb hotties, and at first, that seemed to be what Erica was, but she was so much more than that and it just makes me so happy. She got background, and depth, and she was soo sooo relatable.

For one thing, she wasn’t always popular and conventionally attractive (even in her ‘nerd faze’ I still found her cute) she was a nerd, and a fangirl. She didn’t become cool for attention, she just didn’t want to be so stressed out all the time, and the cool kids didn’t do extracurricular activities, they hung out. And that’s goals. I wish I was brave enough to just stop doing everything that stressed me out and became confident. She wasn’t a bully or anything, and her friends were nice, (at least Lainey was)

I remember in one episode, Adam was ordering illegal songs or something, I’m not exactly sure, and Beverly caught them and blamed Erica, then after prof was shown that clearly Adam did it, Erica was still blamed. She then went to the mall with Carla and when the two were put in mall jail for Carla’s shoplifting, Beverly comes in and yells at Erica for being irresponsible. Only to find out that Erica was innocent.

Another episode I resonate with is the one where Barry gets into college the same time Erica (who previously dropped out) did, he was mad about being overshadowed and being the middle kid (which was completely reasonable) at the end of the Episode Erica snaps and goes off about how she had to go through everything alone a first time and it was scary, but Barry and Adam have advice from older siblings about what to expect. And how she has unrealistic expectations placed on her. This was like my favorite episode.

So yeah, Erica Goldberg is a comfort character, and that was only one of the reasons.

#erica goldberg #the goldbergs #eldest sibling #eldest daughter #oldest

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Reblog this if you're the eldest daughter who had to mature at a really young age, were always seen as the 'quiet and unproblematic' one, were the overachiever of the family, were the so-called 'perfect child', so now you're literally terrified of doing anything wrong because you don't want to ruin your reputation and whenever you try to tell anyone about your fears or insecurities they just brush it off like "lol why would you think that you're worrying for no reason"

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Have your parents ever done/said something that just left you sit there and think

"Wow, gaslighting at its finest 🙃"

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

Here's to the forgotten boys who were eldest daughters.

To the boys who still drag the weight of illusory responsibilities over their shoulders.

To the boys who hurt themselves in order to help everyone around them.

To the boys who listen for hours as people mistake them for therapists.

To the boys who work themselves to the bone.

The boys who have breakdowns when they don't perform to their impossibly high standards.

The boys who feel guilty for letting their parents down.

The boys who feel guilty for not being a "good role model" to their younger siblings.

The boys who are constantly de-escalating everyone's arguments.

The boys who smile even when it hurts.

The boys who bite their tongue and swallow their teeth.

Here's to the eldest daughters who became prodigal sons. You are no less of a man for your past.

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

I relate to much :(

why does nobody ever believe me when i say that i fucked up?

the thing is. that i know what the problem is. grew up as the eldest daughter, the smart child, the mature child. read books as a way of escapism and got branded as the perfect, quiet, non-problematic, holds-the-family's-expectations child. grew a fear of failure so big that it's suffocating me all the time.

so people never saw me fail. i've fucked up more times than i can count and more times than i care to count. but people never saw.

because i'm so terrified of failure that at the last second i pulled myself together, i lied, i was the best actor and diplomat you have ever seen, i didn't sleep to make the deadline, i crammed until my head hurt and i couldn't see the pages through my tears and i made it.

every single time. i made it.

but i also told people that i fucked up. because i can't deal with emotions (never learned how to) so i whine to people while i procrastinate and fuck up and they start expecting the worst and then.

the last moment comes.

i fake it and i make it and they laugh at my worry and say "you always panic over nothing. never seen you fail, you never will."

and i just shrug and laugh and make a joke about it because if i'm in on it then it doesn't hurt as much. right?

[just-eldestdaughter-things]

The eldest daughter urge to "move away from home and cut off her family"