justifiedbeans

[justifiedbeans]

the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either

[justifiedbeans]

*leaves theatre* wow what a great show my favourite bit was how it fundamentally changed me as a person forever

[justifiedbeans]

my father said to me once that one of the things he deeply regretted was not putting music on for his father while he was fading away. he told me that grandpa would just sit in his old armchair in the quiet, and not until after he’d passed did my dad think of how he could have played of his favorite classical music tapes for him so grandpa could listen to something while he still could. i was very young when this happened and not much older when my dad told me this, but it always stuck with me as something important.

my mother died at home in a hospice cot, slowly shutting down over the course of about a week. when she had stopped responding, i remembered what dad told me about wishing he’d played music for grandpa, and i put the radio on her favorite country music station and kept it on for her until she died.

daddy died in hospital. no cassette players, no decent radios. the day after he was brought in, i thought again of what he told me, and i bought a little portable bluetooth speaker. even though he never woke up, was never aware, i played music for him too.

there’s no real significance to sharing this, not really. my motivation is selfish, again: i just want to hope that someone might think of this when their loved one is stuck in silence somehow, and maybe they’ll play music for them, and they won’t have to regret not doing so. i want to hope it helps someone. and i want to hope that someone will remember my dad with me, even in just a “story i read on the internet” way.

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[justifiedbeans]

just found out that “wish you were here” in persian is ‘jāy-e shomā khālīst’ which means “your place is empty” and it felt like being stabbed in the heart 37 times

[justifiedbeans]

maybe im overthinking it but i think the opening notes of sunday in the park with george visually resemble the general structure of the painting

[justifiedbeans]

perhaps the antidote to overconsumption is thankfulness. I am thankful for one notebook at a time and I am thankful for the coffee and tea I have at my house and I am thankful for the books I havent read yet and im thankful for these clothes I can make so many outfits with

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

[justifiedbeans]

here. have a poem for every day of the week. it’ll be okay I love you

monday by alex dimitrov

watching you talk on the phone, I consider the empty space around atoms— by rhiannon mcgavin

on wednesday they came on the news by robert wood lynn

thursday by james longenbach

a photograph by james schuyler

love and the deli counter by jill mcdonough

when you have forgotten sunday: the love story by gwendolyn brooks

[justifiedbeans]

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

[justifiedbeans]

girlhood is a spectrum

[justifiedbeans]

“God poured me out like milk and curdled me like cheese” sounds like a post you’d find on tumblr dot com, but it is in fact Job 10:10