karkalicious-definition-blog

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

A sword that inflicts emotional wounds

A hat that, when left alone with another hat, will mate and produce hybrid offspring

Negative gold pieces

A map that is the territory

Armour that becomes more effective the uglier the wearer

A living pocket-watch that never needs winding, but if you don’t feed it, it dies; it’s an obligate carnivore

Goggles that put censor bars over monsters of the Aberration type

An instructional tome in the secret language of ducks

A dagger that glows in the presence of one particular goblin

Angry shoes

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Ideal number of teeth?

as many as i can get my hands on

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Touch his face. Do it.

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

capitalism is bullshit because I had to put someone’s birthday in today to sell them some alcohol and it was 4/20/69 and I couldn’t even tell them how fuckin mindbogglingly sick that is for fear of being fired

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Saw some scary Halloween decorations at a neighbors house. That’s some @sixpenceee shit.

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Any living person: “Let’s go to the beach!”

Me:

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Saw this and thought I should add sounds and music to it.

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

sex positivity has turned into teaching girls to ridicule other girls for preferring missionary or “vanilla” sex as if it’s supposed to be a competition as to who can withstand the most violent sex and who can endure the most abuse from men veiled as a kink

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

this made me burst out laughing

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

Avengers 4: We built a Time Machine and brought Peggy Carter to the Future to Fight Thanos because We Are Weak and She Is Not

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

letting my mom watch queer eye was a mistake. she just walked into my room, pointed at some clothes on my floor and said “hey. what would tan say about this???” and i just shuffled over to pick them up like a sad child cause i would want tan france to be proud of me :( fuck :(

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

so i’m watching stranger things rn and honestly? bless this diner guy

[karkalicious-definition-blog]

To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes