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king-bluez · 1 day
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you can hear the accent without unmuting the video
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king-bluez · 1 day
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I’m begging you to look at this.
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king-bluez · 19 days
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It's kind of tragic how homophobia affects insecure men.
Like sometimes they want to experiment with a bit of anal and instead of just buying a sex toy and some lube like a normal person, they instead shove random objects up their ass that inevitably get stuck and then they try to get them out by themselves which makes things worse and then they lie to doctors about it and like this all leads to all kinds of extra complications like internal damage, risk of infections, bleeding, the fall of Yugoslavia, etc.
Come on guys, just buy a dildo. It's way safer and it leads to way fewer problems.
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king-bluez · 19 days
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Las leyes de la física son inquebrantables.
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king-bluez · 19 days
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"Capitalism breeds innovation" girl there are only five websites left and they all look the same
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king-bluez · 19 days
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I am in love w the way pre 2000s films have that hazy feel to them. hd honestly kills the vibe
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king-bluez · 19 days
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king-bluez · 19 days
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love how when i get a new interest, i’m like “oh god it’s happening again” and i’m stuck like that for about a week until everything explodes and any interest i’ve had prior is completely dwarfed for an unknown amount of time
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king-bluez · 19 days
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made some versions of the agony grip for my friends for when the whole gang gets it . including different levels depending on the anguish
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and a joyous one for when there is love abound
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king-bluez · 19 days
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motherfucker said PROFESSIONAL
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king-bluez · 2 months
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king-bluez · 2 months
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guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent
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king-bluez · 3 months
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we need more women who are just fucking losers
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king-bluez · 3 months
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king-bluez · 3 months
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i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:
1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.
2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.
60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.
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king-bluez · 4 months
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if you’re happy for literally any reason no matter how “small” or “stupid” you’re winning in this world as far as I can tell
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king-bluez · 4 months
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2024 off to an INCREDIBLE start
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