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koekun · 8 months
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Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, i'll -
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koekun · 8 months
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I finally finished it!!! For one thing or anotherI couldn't color it even if I did the lineart when the second season premiered, but I'm happy with the result.
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koekun · 8 months
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An excellent piece.
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koekun · 8 months
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What really fucks me up about the angel Crowley scene is how we see that Crowley had so much faith in heaven, in God; more than Aziraphale ever had! "How much trouble could I get in for asking a few questions?" And he meant that! He really, truly, had so much faith, that he never for a second believed that asking a few questions, not being the 'perfect, unquestioning' angel others expected him to be, would get him into any trouble. He had so much unwavering faith. I'm going to eat Neil Gaiman's house
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koekun · 8 months
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"What's this Crowley like?" said Ligur. Hastur spat. "He's been up here too long," he said. "Right from the Start. Gone native, if you ask me. Drives a car with a telephone in it." sneered Hastur. "And he wears sunglasses, even when he doesn't need to."
— Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agness Nutter, Witch
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koekun · 9 months
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Do people still make powerpoint memes?
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koekun · 9 months
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Do you know? I could break beneath the weight?
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koekun · 9 months
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Reunited at last
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koekun · 9 months
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Snake Eyes
Shameless appreciation post.
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I am sorry...
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koekun · 9 months
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i just really like this line from season 2
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koekun · 9 months
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"Shame and guilt have followed humanity since Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden."
Good Omens; a story of an Angel that can't accept love because of shame and a Demon that can't accept forgiveness because of guilt.
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"It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one."
An in-depth analysis of an Angel suffering from shame and a Demon wracked with guilt.
Let's dive deeper below the cut!
[Now I'm going to lay down a lot of facts, definitions and minimal psychological babble and I want you, as the reader, to view this through your GO nerd glasses. Also, I want to express that I am not a therapist or religious in any way- this was all done as academic research for the fandom's sake cause I can't shut my brain up. I tried to organize it the best I could. ..sorry it's so long but I swear it's worth the read through! ;)]
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• Shame is the painful emotion you have when you perceive that you are not good enough in some way. Entirely self imposed and only known to you, shame can be an unpleasant self-conscious feeling often associated with negative self-evaluation. When shame is chronic, it makes you believe that you are fundamentally flawed, defective, dishonorable, immoral, or improper.
• Guilt is a negative feeling of worry or unhappiness that you get because you have done something wrong. It's a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes- accurately or not- that they have compromised their own standards of conduct or have violated universal moral standards and bear significant responsibility for it. When guilt is chronic, it can be a toxic emotion that could cause a person to take on unjust responsibility if things around them go wrong. They are quick to accept that everything is their fault even though it isn't.
While guilt is about wrong actions, shame is about being wrong as a person.
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In academic psychology, shame is associated with avoiding failure and its consequences while guilt is connected with forgiving and improving one's self, along with making amends.
Guilt and Shame are often confused for each other but there’s a big difference between the two. Guilt can help you understand how your actions impact others, but shame is an inward-facing emotion that reflects how you feel about yourself. (And I do realize that Aziraphale may, at times, feel guilt and Crowley can also feel a sense of shame. But the main motivation behind majority of their characterizations and actions throughout the series are both coming from these two different feelings.)
Guilt can help you move forward while shame keeps you stuck in the past. [such as the "We could have been.. us." and "You go too fast for me." scenes] And the only way to rid themselves of these negative emotions is through recovery with unconditional love and forgiveness.
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• How Aziraphale represents the concept of shame •
Shame tricks you into believing that you aren't good. That you are worthless. Not that you've done something bad, but that you are bad. Ever since Aziraphale gave away his flaming sword, he started to question himself. But it wasn't until he outright lies to his fellow Angel's about the true fate of Job's children that he truly believes he has fallen- that he violated God's word and lied (again). He believes there must be something truly wrong with who he is as an Angel. He's a flawed creation of God and he feels a dreaded sense of deep shame from this.
Feelings of shame can also present itself in different types such as, Chronic Shame (negative emotions all the time that you aren't good enough), Performance Shame (feeling as though you are inferior compared to others) and Shame from Unrequited Love (this is a feeling of not being good enough for another person T^T).
Shame is a harmful, negative emotion that when internalized enough can result in an overly harsh evaluation of oneself.
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Next, let's take a closer look at what defines shame and how it operates through Aziraphale:
• Being Defensive is a way to avoid taking responsibility for our behavior.
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"I don't need you." "And the feeling is mutual!"
• Perfectionism is the unrealistic desire to be perfect and is often a defense against shame. If we’re perfect, no one can criticize us; no one can shame us. We keep up a front that looks good to the world. We may spend a lot of time attending to our dress and looks.
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"I do have standards."
• Apologizing constantly. Shame can prompt us to be overly apologetic and compliant.
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"I did the 'I was wrong' dance in…"
• Procrastination can occur from a deep hidden shame. If we consider pursuing something and it doesn’t turn out well, we might be paralyzed by that feeling. If we never try, then we don’t have to face possible failure and subsequent shame.
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"You go too fast for me, Crowley.."
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Next are the four category behaviors resulting from shame:
• The Hot Response These are things you do when you feel ashamed and defensive, such as lashing out in anger or attacking the other person to deflect attention from yourself.
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"I don't even like you!" [always resorts to being defensive in any argument]
• Behaviors to Cope With or Conceal the Shame These behaviors include doing things to make yourself feel small, trying to avoid being the center of attention, or not sharing your thoughts or feelings. Concealing yourself is a method of self-protection.
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[always awkward and can't speak openly around other Angels]
• Safety Behaviors to Avoid Shame or Being Discovered This category of shame behaviors might be things like apologizing, crying, or avoiding conflict. People who have a tendency toward being emotional or avoiding conflict may be more likely to engage in safety behaviors.
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"Why? What's wrong? I mean.. if there is something wrong.."
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The Impact of Feeling Shame:
• Makes you feel like you are flawed or there is something wrong with you
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"I'm like you now. A demon. I'm a fallen angel.." • Can lead to social withdrawal
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[spends most of his time in the bookshop alone] • May cause you to become defensive and shame others in return "I'm an angel! And you're a demon!" • May cause you to inflate your ego to hide the belief that you don’t have value
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"Well, I am a great deal holier than thou. That's the whole point." • May leave you feeling empty, lonely, or worn out
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"But I thought you said it wasn't [lonely]?" • May lead to lowered self-esteem
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"I'm.. soft." • May make it harder for you to trust other people
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"Obviously, you're lying. You're a demon. That's what you do." • May lead to perfectionism or overachievement to try and counteract your feelings of shame
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"If I can just reach the right people and resolve all of this-" "That's not going to happen! How could somebody as clever as you be so stupid!?" • May cause you to engage in people pleasing
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"Doing good again, Angel? "Oh, hardly counts. Purely for selfish reasons." • May cause you to avoid talking because you are afraid to say the wrong thing
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[trying to explain to Metatron in S1 without revealing too much] • May cause compulsive or excessive behaviors like overworking, excessive cleaning, or having too high of standards in general
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[non stop research all day and night to look for the antichrist by himself]
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• How Crowley represents the concept of guilt •
Guilt is what you feel after committing a specified or perceived offence/crime/bad action.  It's typically attached to a feeling you experience when you do something wrong on purpose or accidentally and can regret that action. Guilt can be morally ambiguous.
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"Well, maybe there is something to be said for.. shades of grey?" "..Shades of dark grey."
Signs of guilt are unique but these are the most common (again there are many but these I thought related to Crowley the best):
• Low self-esteem
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*sighs* "Don't bother..."
• Excessive attempts at reparation [Crowley always trying to secretly help humanity when he can]
• Being unable to meet someone’s gaze
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[Covering his eyes not only hides his snake eyes but also his guilty feelings]
• Anxiety "We are fucked!" [and we all know TV!Crowley is 100% more anxiety ridden than Book!Crowley is lol]
• Trouble sleeping [Sleeps too long (100 year nap from book). Or can't get comfortable sleeping (from S1 deleted scene)]
• Depressed mood
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"What's even the point.. everything seems.. pointless.."
• Avoidance of people, places, or events linked to the cause of guilt "I'm not going to be joining their team and neither should you!" [doesn't want to return to Heaven or Hell and is "on his own side" to avoid them further] • Shifts in energy levels [can be giddy/jumpy one second to morose/moody the next, etc]
• Emotional outbursts
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"I'm just so angry!"
• Appetite changes
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[took up drinking alcohol even though its unnatural to]
• Making amends [spends every moment since Eden trying to secretly do good despite the hellish consequences]
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Defense mechanisms against feeling guilty can become an overriding aspect of one's personality. (These are also related to trauma response.)
• Displacement is a defensive tool that may take the form of blaming the victim or taking your feelings out on others.
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"You know what you've done. You've disappointed me."
• Projection is sharing the unacceptable feelings/qualities onto others, thereby being less alone with it.
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"But that sounds.." "Lonely?"
• Self-harm may be used as an alternative to compensating from one's past transgression. Not just physical self-harm but not allowing yourself to enjoy opportunities or benefits as a result of uncompensated guilty feelings.
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[always holding himself back for 6k years from saying what he truly feels and won't allow himself to be with Aziraphale the way he really wants]
• Repression is subconsciously blocking or forgetting harmful/traumatic memories. "Right.. looking at where the furniture isn't.." [doesn't remember his time in Heaven in detail- whether from trauma response or just had his memory wiped]
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Behavioral responses to guilt can be associated with the moral of their character. Feelings of guilt can prompt virtuous behavior.
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"You shouldn't test them to destruction.."
People who feel guilty may be more likely to: • Exercise restraint [holds his true feelings back for Aziraphale for centuries]
• Avoid self-indulgence [only really has his car and plants in the end]
• Exhibit less prejudice [is more open and accepting of other's sins - such as helping during the Scottish bodysnatching scenes]
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Guilt can prompt reparatory behaviors (actions to make amends) to help alleviate these negative emotions. People tend to engage in these reparatory behaviors toward the persons they wronged. Some religions theorize that forgiveness of sin (even those committed by accident or ignorance) is exclusively through repentance.
Crowley, being the wily serpent that tempted Eve to eat the forbidden apple of knowledge and subsequently getting her and Adam kicked out of paradise on Earth- and thusly creating the first sin of humanity. Right away, Crowley feels guilt from this.
After all, he was just told to stir up some trouble and had no idea the consequences of his first temptation on the future generations of human existence. Ignorantly doing something considered wrong and getting exiled.. this mistake would forever haunt him. He knows the pain and trauma from unwittingly doing something insignificant and being punished severely for it (such as asking questions or eating an apple) yet he accidentally made the first of God's new creatures "fall" in their own way from Eden. It's because of this guilt that Crowley spends the next 6000 years secretly rebelling against Hell to help humanity in any way he can to redeem himself.
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That's why their first conversation (post Fall from Heaven) on the wall of Eden was SO important to their relationship with each other and themselves.
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"Oh, I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." "It'd be funny if we both got it wrong. If I did the good thing and you did the bad one." "No. No! It wouldn't be funny at all!"
I think the reason Crowley always seems to be one step ahead of Aziraphale (in more ways than one) is because, in a sense, guilt is easier to resolve from than shame.
If you acknowledge your mistake and the person chooses to take the steps to improve and change for the better, then they can recover from those negative feelings. They can work through the guilt by repairing the transgression or learning from it.
Whereas shame can only intensify inwardly and be harder to face because your mind is telling you that you are the bad thing, that you are the mistake. This makes it harder to overcome. And the only way to truly recover from shame is unconditional love and forgiveness- for yourself.
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“Instead of your shame, you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion, they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land, they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.” (Isaiah 61:7)
And in S2.. we can see they both hold regret for their actions at the end of episode 6. If you look at every choice, ever misstep, every argument and their occasional confusion in understanding one another, you can see how Aziraphale was written with shame as a main part of his personality and Crowley written with guilt.
Two feelings that are often confused for one another but differ slightly in their own ways. The motivation behind every word they utter and every action they make throughout the series is built on the foundation of these two fundamentally negative and often traumatizing feelings.
There is a possibility to recover from shame and guilt and I have a feeling that S3's plot line will be all about recovery.
And that's what the concept of that Second Coming storyline might be all about. The New Testament says, "In Jesus Christ, God took upon Himself the sins of the world and died on the cross to pay mankind's debt" (Rom 6:23). "Those who repent and accept Christ's sacrifice for their sins, will be redeemed by God and thus not guilty before Him. They will be granted eternal life which will take effect after the Second Coming of Christ" (1 Thess 4:13–18).
A second chance. Forgiveness and Recovery from Sin.
And what is the story of Adam and Eve if not about humanity's Original Sin?
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Remember, after all is said and done, the antidote for shame is love, and guilt is cured through forgiveness.
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Two things a certain Angel and Demon struggle with accepting from each other but are more than willing to give to one another.
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[…There! I made myself sad again, lol. Thank you for reading this far! Sorry it was crazy long but I really enjoyed putting this all together into semi-comprehensible words (though stupid tumblr made me delete a bunch of pictures I had as examples…). Also, on a final side note- if you are ever experiencing overwhelming shame or guilt in anyway (which can result in depression or worse if not dealt with) please make sure you reach out to someone or seek professional help in some way. Take care, everyone! ^-^]
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koekun · 9 months
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smitten | adjective | smit·​ten deeply affected with or struck by strong feelings of attraction, affection, or infatuation
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koekun · 9 months
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"Crowley's favorite place... is Aziraphale's bookshop. But he would never admit it. Never admit that." - David Tennant
[insp. X X]
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koekun · 9 months
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the other side - commission for @hansensmurphy ! 
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koekun · 9 months
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Entering: GOOD OMENS | AZIRAPHALE
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Hi.
———
Livestreamed on the official almalvo discord server.
Please consider pledging to my Patreon or donating to my Ko-fi for my relief-effort (full info pinned to my tumblr).
Thank you.
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koekun · 9 months
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Entering: GOOD OMENS | CROWLEY
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A neighbourhood I am all too familiar with a lifetime ago... Hi Gomens. I am new. It's good to meet you.
———
Livestreamed on the official almalvo discord server.
Please consider pledging to my Patreon or donating to my Ko-fi for my relief-effort (full info pinned to my tumblr).
Thank you.
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koekun · 9 months
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The Good Omens Book really got me during this scene.
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Crowley being an optimist down to his core
The universe would protect him
Still taking time to warn and try to protect pedestrian
ANTHONY CROWLEY
Just something about the narrative naming Crowley by his chosen human name as he makes the most human choice possible to keep fighting till the end even if everything seems lost that gets me.
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