I had a really, really nice thing happen at work today. And yet it can't detract from the crappiness of the rest of the day.
I'm tired, everything his harder, I can't catch up with anything I need to do but to refuse to work outwith my normal hours to catch up. I just won't do it.
All I wanna do is sleep. Or cry. Or cut. I need to be Friday afternoon so badly.
So ... this week I did more than just work which feels good. What does feel good the sense of exhaustion doing anything causes. Everywhere you go is busy and noisy and when I was out today all I wanted to do was go home.
How do I get my life back? How do I turn into a normal person who can leave the house to go to things at night or even be out the house overnight?
How do you not have anxiety? How do you get through the week without harming yourself? How do you not want to hide in bed all the time? How do you stop every noise being like nails on a chalk board?
Why is getting out of bed one of the hardest things you can do? It’s almost one in the afternoon. I’ve been on bed since twelve and I don’t wanna get up and face reality.
Biopic movies are rarely entirely correct and that can make them infuriating. It’s why I hated Bohemian Rhapsody, why I can’t make myself watch Elvis.Netflix released ‘Blonde’ today. This is the second time Joyce Carol Oates book has been adapted. The author herself describes it as a fictionalised version of Marilyn Monroe’s life. And most of it is just that. Fiction.
This adaption is a travesty to the memory of Monroe, to what her life was and what it still means to those of us who call ourselves Marilynette’s. As someone who knows her life better than most this was infuriating to watch.Please bear in mind when watching this that so little of this is true to her. This film at times feels like trauma porn or indeed just porn. I’ve heard it described as an antithesis to the ‘me too’ movement. I can see that, it’s hard to avoid.
Dominik tried to make this 'arty'. He is clearly vying for an Oscar. I hope to God he doesn’t get a nomination.
Guardians review of ‘Blonde’ ends with this: “despite its note-perfect evocation of moments from Monroe’s life, I would argue that in the end Blonde isn’t really about Marilyn at all. It just happens to be wearing her wardrobe.” I think that says it best.
If you’re interested in Monroe’s actual life, give me a shout, I can direct to so many more accurate resources. Watch this knowing it’s fiction. Do not watch this with kids. Do not watch this if you are easily triggered. Or better yet. Do not watch it. Watch ‘Some Like It Hot’ or ‘Bus Stop’ or ‘The Misfits’. They are more deserving of your time.