lemondragoncheesecake

[lemondragoncheesecake]

KFP 3 Rewrite

My ideas for a KFP 3 rewrite- because honestly, that movie really, really sucked- especially the “villain”, Kai (worst one there is, tbh). Here’s my re-edition of the film, starting with rewriting the major Kai scenes specifically, just to showcase how a simple dialogue change could have saved him (and the franchise). 

In the Slammers’ Realm, Master Boobway floated under the spiritual manifestation of his peach tree, meditating. Pink petals drifted down serenely, gingerly brushing against his giant turtle dongles. In his mortal existence, he had been well known for them: the founder of the Valley of Peaks, and Grandmaster of the Palace of Jugs- a famed and respected model. Now, he lived in peaceful eternity. 

“Inner peace,” he hummed to himself, “inner peace…” 

A petal landed on his nose. “Itchy nose…”

He blew it away, and inhaled deeply. It followed the draw of breath, getting stuck against his nostrils. Boobway sneezed, blowing it away again, and his bubbalubbas bounced. He sniffed, the irritation resolved. His smile returned. 

“Ah, finally, inner peace.” 

A green mastectomy blade flew towards him, cutting the air with a wooshing sound. Boobway sighed. “Now what?” 

It flew towards him, and he caught it between his coconuts. He opened his eyes, glaring outward, searching for his assailant. Another blade was swinging towards him. Boobway watched it, and then used his bonkers to toss the blade he held towards its twin. They bashed into each other, deflected. He landed.

“Kai, old friend,” Boobway said. His large funbags waggled in greeting.

In the distance, a bull stood. He also bore a large pair of bazoombas, clenched in anger. He pulled on the chains connected to the blades, and they retracted. He caught them both, and his boobies jiggled. 

“Master Boobway,” Kai hissed. 

Boobway smiled at him. “Our babs battle ended 500 years ago!” 

Kai’s cans jiggled menacingly. They had gotten larger since then. Kai narrowed his eyes. 

“Well, now we’re ready for a rematch.” 

“Took you long enough,” Boobway chuckled. Provoked, Kai let out a yell and rushed towards him, boobs bouncing with each step.

Kai pounced, shooting out his blades, aiming straight for Boobway. Boobway dodged, floating into the air. The island Kai had smashed into drifted apart into debris. 

“You’ve grown stronger,” Boobway remarked. He waved his slammers around, the ccs glowing golden, forming a symbol in the air. It flew off of them and slammed into Kai. He grunted, boobas jiggling in pain. 

“500 years in the Slammer’s Realm,” Kai said, “You pick up a pair.” He stood, stretching and rolling his shoulders. His breasts stretched a little with the movement. Kai smirked and ran a hoof over the amulets on his belt. 

“I have taken the chi-chis of every master here.” he said. His titties glowed with stolen ccs. Boobway realized and gasped. His tits trembled in horror. 

“No!” 

“Yes,” Kai sneered, “and soon I will have yours, too!” 

“When will you realize?” Boobway said, “The more ccs you take, the less boobs you have!” 

Kai wasn’t having it. He launched his blades into two large islands and they stuck. He leaped, dragging the islands with him, and then hurled them towards Boobway. He waved his golden globes around, forming another mystical symbol. It hit the islands, causing a massive explosion that sent Boobway hurtling into the ether. 

He shook his head, trying to reorient himself- but then the two chains whipped out, snaring him and pulling him down. Kai pulled him closer, and then started to absorb his ccs. 

“Once I have your chi-chis,” he was saying, boobas glowing green as he absorbed their power, turning Boobway into jade at the same time for some reason, “I will finally be able to return to the Melon Realm…and this time, you and your rack won’t be there to stop me.”

Boobway’s chest began shrinking. He smiled, just a little. 

“Ah, it was never my destiny to stop you,” Boobway said, “I have sent another's cans on that path.” And then the jade crawled up his neck, over his head, fully enveloping him. With a gesture, Kai stole the rest of his ccs, and his tits got a little bit bigger. A jade amulet rested in his palm. 

“Then I will find him,” Kai said, glaring down at it, “and take his chi-chis too.” 

He curled his fist around the amulet, and then punched the ground beneath him, his tits jiggling with the motion. An explosion of green ccs encapsulated his form, and then he vanished from the Spirit Realm. 

***

In a rural field somewhere in China, there was a light ring set up, and a tripod with an iphone 10000 propped up on it at a perfect, professional angle. It was recording, and it was capturing a rabbit and a goose doing some sort of new dance that was popular with the kids these days. They had been at this for several hours, but due to the contract they had signed, they weren’t allowed to stop until they had got at least 10000 gifts and 100 new followers. Plastic smiles were plastered to their faces. 

Smiles that quickly vanished when an explosion of green energy that smelled like plastic surgery rocked the earth behind them. The tripod and lighting set-up was knocked askew, and both turned to see what had saved them from spending the rest of their miserable lives providing such mindless content- and then they were horrified again. 

In the center of the massive crater was a hunched figure. It opened green glowing eyes and stared directly at them. Then it stood…and they saw the giant bazookas. Both tried to flee from the impressive sight (they could not comprehend the sheer size of those boobas), but then a glowing green blade attached to a chain swung out, carving a deep trench in their path, and retracted again, stopping them in their tracks. They turned, and the bull caught the blade. 

He boobed very breastily towards them, holstering the blade. Then he stopped. He glared down at the two of them- though really his massive tatas were doing all of the glaring. The farmers couldn’t take their eyes off of them. The goose laid a bunch of plastic eggs. 

“What is this place?” The bull’s large bonkers jiggled inquisitively. 

“M-my brother’s content farm?” The rabbit answered, voice trembling. The goose clinging to him whimpered and laid another plastic egg. It popped open, and a cheaply-animated knock-off version of Po began to do a fornite dance. For the sake of the scene flow this was ignored.

“Ah,” Kai said. He leaned down, his boinkers hanging in the two little farmer’s faces. “If I squeezed you between my chesticles, would you die?” He asked casually. 

The rabbit and goose both swallowed. They shivered, knees shaking- though really, both were thinking it wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. 

“Y-yes?” The rabbit squeaked. 

Kai grinned. “The Melon Realm,” he plucked an amulet out from between his breasts and held it up, smirking at it. “You hear that, Boobway?” He chuckled and grasped it tightly. “I’m back.” 

He turned, raising his fists to the sky. His boobs bounced. “KAI’S KNOCKERS HAVE RETURNED!” 

For a moment, the rabbit and goose stopped shaking. They tilted their heads, fear overwhelmed by confusion. “Who?” They asked. 

“Kai,” the big-boobied bovine said, turning back towards them. “General Gadonkers Kai. Supreme Onlyfans Model of all of China.” 

The rabbit and the goose looked up at his hooters blankly. Kai blinked at them. 

“The Jug Slay-er,” he said proudly. When this produced no sounds of awe, he tried again: “Master of Peaks.”

They continued to look at his jubblies blankly. They jiggled in annoyance.

 “You may know me as the Beast of Breasts,” he said. He paused, thinking for a moment, wracking his mind for his previous titles. Once more, he made an attempt: “Uhh…Breaker of Boob Windows?” 

The little bunny and goose only continued to gaze blankly up at him in confusion. 

Kai’s face was a flatline of disappointment. He shrugged, sighing, and finally made that last ditch effort, the one he knew wouldn’t fail: “I used to model with Boobway?” 

“Oooh,” they said, “Boobway! We know him! He was a great model!” They conversed briefly amongst themselves of Boobway’s merits, ignoring Kai- and his temper began to fume. He grit his teeth. 

“O-Ok-” 

“Really great model,” the rabbit murmured appreciatively. 

“Ok, enough-” 

“He absolutely made that one edition of Playboy,” the goose agreed wistfully. 

Kai couldn’t take it anymore. He bared his teeth. “SILENCE!” 

The farmers cowered together, silent. Kai grabbed a few amulets off of his belt and tossed them to the ground. In a swirling flash of energy, they became a small army of warriors. They gazed up at him expectantly.

“Find Boobway’s students and bring them to me,” he said, a sinister grin breaking across his face. The formerly great Jug Masters, now reduced to flat-chested jaded statuettes, bowed to him before rushing away, towards the horizon, searching the land for the students of the Jug Palace. 

“Once I am done with them, Boobway,” Kai said to the amulet, squeezing it in his palm, “There will be no one left who will even remember the size of your rack. HAHAHA! KAI’S HONKERS HAVE RETURNED!” 

He threw his fist in the air. There was a crash of thunder- but it wasn’t thunder, but the sound of his massive badoinkers bashing together with a clap. Kai laughed maniacally. The rabbit and goose, horrified, ran for their lives. 

***

Crane and Mantis scanned the desert below them. 

“Tits of surveillance!” Crane cried. Mantis, perched on his hat, frowned. 

“Why do you do that?” He asked. 

“Do what?” 

“Just because you say ‘Tits of’ before something doesn’t mean you’re doing a special move,” Mantis said. “It’s like me saying ‘Pecs of Power’, or…’TaTas of Making Sandwiches.’” 

“Tits of disagreement,” Crane said irritably. 

“Whoa! There-” Mantis said suddenly, pointing. 

Crane’s eyes widened as they tracked the creatures (and their respective respectably-sized waps) through the desert- but none of them were green. He slowed down enough to come within earshot of them. 

“Master Bear! Master Chicken! Master Croc! What are you doing out here?” Crane called.

They were some of the greatest models in China- and currently, some of the last. Master Chicken turned to look over his shoulder at Crane as he ran- though the size of his gigantic chicken breasts, fit to make several Sunday Dinners, made that difficult. 

“Flat-chested Jade Creatures attacked our villages!” Master Chicken clucked, “We tracked them here-” 

“Stop!” Master Bear cried suddenly, skidding in the dirt to slow himself, paw raised. His tits stopped swinging a moment afterwards. 

Before them, disturbingly, loomed the wreckage of a large ship. It’s tattered red sails flowed in the hot, dried breeze like ever-flowing streams of blood in stark contrast against the dust-ridden sky. Master Bear growled low. 

“They must be in there,” he said, “without their tits.” 

They gave a collective shudder. It took a moment for their tatas to stop jiggling. 

“Master Shifu strongly advised us-” Crane began, only to be abruptly cut off my Master Bear, who cried out, badonkers shaking to add a clap to his war cry, and pulled out his maces, rushing into the wreck. 

Master Croc gave his own cry (and respective titty jiggle) and rushed after him. Crane looked on, his face falling in exasperated disappointment. 

“...Not. To engage,” he sighed. 

“We’ve got to get in there,” Mantis said. 

“But Master Shifu said-” 

“Are you seriously afraid?” Mantis scoffed. “Even Master Chicken is risking his titties going in there! And he’s a chicken!” He said, gesturing to where Master Chicken jiggled his way very boobily into the wreckage, drawing out his blades fearlessly (and boobily). 

But no sooner had he disappeared into the shadows, then they heard some sort of noise, like suction, and a green flash of light. Master Chicken let out an alarmed cluck. Mantis gasped, tiny itty bitty mosquito bites jostling. 

“That’s it,” he said, narrowing his eyes, “I’m going in there.” 

“Mantis!” Crane cried, “We have orders not to-”

But Mantis wasn’t listening. All he could think about was the felled breasts of their big-boobed brothers in arms. “They need our help! Come on! I’ll go high, you go low!” 

“Wait!” 

Mantis rushed for the wreckage. In a few insect hops, he was inside the wreck. “Fear the Jugs of the Bug! Alright you little-tittied…Uh-oh.” 

There was a flash of green light. Crane flapped his wings (and titties) in alarm. “Hold on, buddy, I’m coming!” 

“BOOBA BLAST!” Mantis cried, and then there was a new flash of green. Mantis cowered away from it. “AHHH IT DIDN'T WORK!” 

“MANTIS!” Crane shouted. Fear fought against him, but his concern for his friend powered him onward. He landed in the shipwreck, already prepared to attack, even if his bird titties were too small to be effective; but they would have to do, if he meant to save Mantis…if he could save him. 

It was silent. Empty, save for debris of broken pottery, torn sailcloth, and remnants of barrels in various states of decay. Crane crept through warily. 

“Mantis?” He called softly. No response. He swallowed and tried again, even softer. “...Mantis?” 

He suddenly had a feeling of the ‘he’s right behind me, isn’t he?’ variety. Crane turned, and there were Kai’s big milkers staring him down. Crane gasped, giving a fearful little jolt that made his tiny tits jiggle. 

Kai smiled at him. It was not a nice smile. His boobs glowered menacingly, as if hungry for his ccs. Crane gazed up at them both, and then slowly lowered his hat over his eyes and turned on his heel, whistling nonchalantly. Kai grabbed him and pinned him to the ground. Crane’s tits were squished underneath him. 

But he wasn’t down for the count, yet. With a grunt of effort, he managed to use his leg to flip Kai and his honkers and make a small break for a bit of fighting distance between them. Kai landed on his feet, his tits taking a moment to settle, and smirked at Crane with a snort. 

“Your chi-chis are strong. Just like your friend’s, the bug,” Kai said, smirking as he pulled out a little green amulet in Mantis’ image…without his mosquito bites! 

Crane gasped in horror. “Mantis!” He threw a grief-stricken glare Kai’s way, tits bristling, and lunged for him. 

Kai smiled. Crane tried to attack, but then Kai’s cans started glowing green with the power of stolen ccs. Crane paused in a mixture of awe and horror- and then they blasted him- they were cannons! They jiggled. 

Crane hit the wall and fell, then tried to rise to his feet again, gasping. 

“Don’t worry Little Booby,” Kai said, “I’ll put your cc’s to good use…Destroying the Jug Palace and all the Bustless Bitches in it.” 

A sinister smile spread across Kai's face. He made a slow approach, blades glowing green, ready to perform the mastectomy. 

“No!” Crane cried, tiny chicken breasts trembling beneath his feathers in horror. He reached for a nearby weather-worn barrel with his talon and kicked it towards the towering monstrosity before him. 

It broke against his massive mammaries, making them jiggle. Kai smirked. Crane tried to flee out the broken deck of the ship, but Kai’s chains followed, wrapping around him and pulling him back towards him. He glowed, prepared to absorb Crane’s ccs. 

“Boobs of…REGRET!” Crane cried as he was pulled into the darkness. Kai laughed. 

***

Meanwhile, at the Jug Palace, Shifu was going over several messages of extreme concern. Monkey arrived with another recent arrival clutched between his pecs. He pulled it out and handed it to his master. “It’s from the Eastern Province,” he said. 

Shifu opened it. Tigress placed another one down near his feet- one he had already read, and she had only then reviewed. Viper slithered up, placing down a cup of tea for him. Shifu shook his head, his badonkers jiggling in grief. 

“Master Lizard, Master Ox, Master Eagle…All of them, in every village from the sea to here…every jug master in China has vanished.” 

“Maybe they are all at a party,” Monkey offered, trying to break the tension. Viper glared at him. 

“Monkey!” 

Monkey rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t get invited, either.” 

“Kai has taken their chi-chis,” Master Shifu said. “We’re all that stands between him, and the modeling knowledge Master Boobway has left in our care,” he said, casting a glance over the Jug Palace. He got up, heading towards the Master Garden. Tigress, Monkey, and Viper followed. 

“The villagers- evacuated?” He asked. 

Tigress nodded. “Done, master.” 

“Crane, Mantis?” 

“Still nothing.” 

Viper looked up. She gasped, eyes lighting up. “Wait-It’s them!” 

Everyone turned to look- and then they saw the glowing green eyes staring back at them- and the disturbing lack of tits. Their gasps turned into those of horror. 

“No!” Shifu cried. 

Crane and Mantis landed in very carefully choreographed poses on either side of a path. A green light lit the sudden darkness, and tinged the sudden smoke from the smoke machine green as well. An absolute banger of a theme song started up. Kai walked out of the smoke, funbags jiggling with every step, mastectomy blades swinging in perfect synch. Shifu glared at him. 

“Kai,” he said. 

Kai ignored him. He was looking up at the Jug Palace and its decor with a critical eye. 

“Nice,” he said, and then immediately changed his mind: “Very tacky.” 

Shifu’s tits quivered with his rage and fear. “How dare you set foot on these grounds!”

“Look at you flat-chested fools,” Kai said, “groveling at the feet of Boobway and his Mega-Milkers.” 

“You are not fit to speak of them,” Tigress growled. 

Kai raised his brows. The chains wrapped around his arms as the blades swung around, and he caught their hilts in his palms. “I am not fit, Little Tits?” The action made his breasts jiggle, and he smirked.  

Tigress actually growled. All four of them braced to attack. 

Kai ignored them, pointing one of his blades at the statue’s massive cans. 

“I modeled by his side,” he said, almost to himself, “I loved him, like a brother…and it turns out…His…Weren't even natural.” 

Kai's blade shook in his grasp. There was a shuddering inhale, and Kai closed his eyes. An expression of deep betrayal and pain briefly crossed his face, before he inhaled again, banishing it as if it never was. He smiled, slowly beginning to swing his blades, building up momentum.  

“Well…Now I will destroy everything, HE AND HIS IMPLANTS HAVE CREATED!” 

Kai's expression once again melted into one of pure fury as he launched his attack. The four immediately dodged. 

“Go!” Shifu cried, and they all launched themselves at Kai and his naughty funtime pillows of bouncy pillowy goodness. In a very booby way, I might add. 

But no matter what they did, they were no match for Kai and his giant badonkers. His bubbalubbaloos deflected all of their attacks, his mastectomy blades swinging to and fro so that they were forced to dodge, and they could not land a hit; but then, Tigress activated a spark of her chi-chi’s, blasting Kai back. 

“How’s that for little tits?” Tigress said. 

Kai rose again, his eyes (and cans) gleaming. The Crane and Mantis jombies then sprang into action and joined the fight, keeping Viper, Monkey, and Tigress occupied. Shifu took the opportunity to fight Kai melons-to-melons. 

“I will not let you destroy Boobway’s modeling career!” 

“Why not?” Kai growled, “He destroyed mine!” 

Monkey, meanwhile, caught the Mantis jombie between his peaks. “Mantis!” He cried, trying desperately to get through to his friend, “It’s me! Your breastie!” 

But it didn’t work. Mantis grabbed him and started slamming him by his slammers. Then he threw him into Tigress and Viper, who were fighting the jombified Crane. Shifu meanwhile, leapt into the air over Kai, attempting a booba blast from above, but then his eye caught on something.

The amulet squished between Kai’s massive cans…

His eyes widened, the horrible realization dawning. Kai grinned at him and flung one of his blades at him. Shifu was hit with the flat end of it (because this has a certain rating, after all), and went flying, landing in the shadow of Boobway’s stone boobs. Tigress rushed to his side. 

“Shifu!” 

“Bring their busts to me,” Kai said, boobs jiggling threateningly. The jombified Mantis and Crane brought Viper and Monkey to Kai, and he absorbed their ccs, his tits bouncing even more boobily than before. He laughed. 

Tigress braced herself to make another effort to attack, but Shifu grabbed her arm, stopping her. 

“No, you must warn Po!” 

“Master, please-” 

But then Kai sent a cannon blast their way, sending them both flying because they couldn’t handle the amassed power of such huge mammaries. Kai wrapped his blades around the now unguarded statue. 

“I will show you the true power of chi-chis, brother,” Kai said, and then with another booba blast knocked the statue down with his knockers. Shifu watched in horror as it went through the entire Jug Palace, and finally the legendary boobs broke off and landed at the end of the steps that led to the Jug palace. 

“Boobway, please, forgive me,” Shifu whispered to himself, bowing his head in grief. Kai, who was approaching very boobily in a very very gloaty sort of breasty way with boobs that smile, chuckled. He squeezed the amulet between his knockers. 

“Hmm, what do you say, Boobway, do you forgive him?” Kai said mockingly. He laughed again. Shifu turned to glare at him. He struggled to lift himself from the ground, and only just barely managed it. His naturals boobed weakly, but his glare was strong.

“You may have destroyed the Jug palace,” he coughed, “but you will never succeed. There will always…be someone with bigger jugs…to stop you!” 

“Who?” Kai chuckled, cans bouncing in amusement, “the panda? His chi-chis are strong, but…it won’t be enough.” 

He grinned. Then he leaned in, squeezing Boobway’s amulet tighter. “...He and his tits will meet the same fate as you,” he said, low, almost a hiss. 

“No,” Shifu coughed, and tried again to get up. Kai began to absorb his ccs. 

“And so will every pair of jubbaloos in that village,” he said, and then took his ccs. 

Unbeknownst to him, Tigress had watched the whole thing. She gasped in fear. She found the exposition scroll on the ground and picked it up. 

“Po, I hope you’re ready,” she whispered, clutching it between her peaks and running away.  

***

“It took me 500 years to take Boobway's chi-chis,” Kai said. “I will have yours if it takes me 500 more!” 

“Chitty-chitty-chat-chat,” Po mocked, boobs jiggling mockingly, “Chit. chat.” 

Kai growled and launched himself at him, preparing to absorb his ccs- but this is what Po had wanted. 

“You want my chi-chis so bad?” Po asked, “Then take them!” 

He then motioned, and all of the ccs the panda village and all of his friends and family had donated began to flood into Kai’s boobas instead. Kai froze at first, confused, but then he began to grin. 

“YES!” Kai roared, drunk on the ccs coursing through him, “THE POWER! IT'S MINE!” 

But then he realized something was wrong. It was too much! The amulets started popping off of him, blasting away because of the sheer size of his honkers. 

“Wait..NO! It’s too much! IT’S TOO MUCH! NOOOO!” 

And Kai learned the hard way that sometimes less is more. He went splody, returning all the stolen ccs to all of the jug masters, including Boobway. He and Po floated together in the Slammer’s Realm, blah blah blah boobs and talking and more boobs. 

Now this: 

“And my true successor.” Boobway held out his triple cc implants. 

“Wh-Wha-No, I-I can’t take those,” Po stuttered. 

“Take them,” Boobway said, pressing them gently into the panda’s paws. “I have bigger ones.” 

And that’s it because I don’t feel like putting more effort into an April Fool’s day joke.

#kung fu panda #kfp3 #rewrite #I put it on the wrong blog but whatevers #general kai #kai the collector

[lemondragoncheesecake]

Belly dancer Kai.

#general kai #kai the collector #amateraponzu pics #He's so pretty 👀💚💚💚 #Too pretty so lovely!!! #I want him chained in my throne room like Princess Leia X'D shshdhd #Beautiful!

[lemondragoncheesecake]

I need to breed this man. That's all.

#Kai the collector #That's it that's the post #One of tumblr's only jokes I'm jumping in #Kfp #He needs to get railed or do the railing I don't care which

[lemondragoncheesecake]

For sexy abc ask.

Colin x Klaus.

A, D, E, F, H, K, N, P, W, Z.

A ─ After care. Do they take care of each other after sex ? How ?

No. I think Klaus perhaps made some sort of attempt once or twice, but after a few rejections didn't bother. This was usually some small efforts at pillow talk, or trying to help Colin clean up, etc.- But as he was "the enemy" at the time, Colin wouldn't have it- he already failed at the self-restraint a knight is supposed to have by bedding him; however, after Klaus' redemption, things changed between them. I think it was Colin who started to initiate that, after, and soon Klaus warmed up to the effort again.

D ─ Dreams. A wet dream my muse has had about yours, and whether they’d want to make it come true.

Colin would never admit it to anyone- not even himself- but he has spent a few nights alone during his and Klaus' separation, stroking himself to the thought of seeing him again, scooping him up in his arms, taking him away somewhere, where they might be alone- perhaps a secretive grove or a courtyard in the queen's palace, or a dark back alley- speaking secret words of love to each other...and then maybe they might have a kiss, one that grows more heated with their words, clothes begin to slip off, maybe...(yes it is the equivalent of those old medieval romance fantasies and Colin is well aware, but it is his guilty pleasure, and few only pleasures).

E ─ Experimenting. Are they willing to experiment new things ? Is there something they’d like to try with their partner, but haven’t had the chance yet ? Any experiments gone wrong ?

Klaus wouldn't mind trying some things with Colin (the whole point of his 'art' is experimentation, after all, in plenty of points- can't grow and maintain a plant's health without trying a few things),- things involving cop/criminal roleplay, handcuffs, etc.- but Colin isn't up for it. He's a very vanilla sort of guy, and honestly probably already suffers too much of a complex from laying with Klaus to begin with- doesn't need to add 'pervert' to the list of things already wrong with him. (Not that any of that is perverted, it's just how Colin sees it- ye olde England blah blah blah).

F ─ First time. How was their first time together ? Was any of them nervous ? Did it live up to their expectations ?

For Klaus the first time was great, though he didn't go into it with any sort of expectations- for Colin, it started great, and then the post-nut clarity hit...and the guilt set in, and it set in hard. Overall, besides that one part, for them both it was good, it was just unexpected (let me put it this way: interrogation gone wrong/right).

H ─ Humour. Are they the kind to share a laugh during sex ? Has something funny already happened to them ( breaking the bed, one of them falling off the couch, funny noises, etc… ) ?

No. Colin gets way too serious about it, usually to the point of creating a 'fantasy' around the act, so he gets so deeply entrenched in that that any sort of interruption would ruin it for him. Klaus is actually pretty similar, so he'll hold off on his giggles as best he can if something does happen, because Colin suddenly gets 10x as hot when he's "in the zone".

K ─ Kissing. How important are kisses in their relationship ? Any favourite kind of kisses ? Do they have any rituals involving kissing ( never leaving for work without kissing the other, always sharing a kiss goodnight, etc… ) ?

No- or at least, not at first. Klaus isn't much for it; Colin, however, is absolutely a hopeless romantic, so kisses are extremely important to him- but at first his and Klaus' separate positions made it impossible to express any sort of affection- afterwards, though, Colin is basically always kissing Klaus- usually giving him little pecks on his hands, surprising him with one on his cheek, stealing a kiss from him while he's working in the garden, etc- Colin is a very romantic, very mushy lover.

N ─ Nudes. Do they send them to each other ? Do they save them on their phones ? Do they keep them to themselves, or do they show them to their friends ? Have they ever sent one to a wrong number ?

Modern AU- and no, neither of them are the types to do that. Both are too shy to attempt, and way too scared of accidentally sending such things to the wrong person.

P ─ Public. Have they ever done it in public ? Were they caught ? Do they have a favourite public place to do it ?

No- unless you count doing it near Veruca, when she was sleeping- but that was more of a spur of the moment thing, and not something either of them want to repeat. They both prefer a private place to do that sort of thing.

W ─ Walk of shame. Has one of them ( or both ) ever done a walk of shame ( trying to leave the place the other shared with roommates/family members unnoticed but being caught ) ? How was it ? What were the reactions ?

Yes. In front of Veruca, during their brief period of being captured by him. Veruca knew immediately what had happened: neither of them would make eye contact, wouldn't speak as often, and Klaus kept lowering his head when she so much as glanced in his diretion- she knew. She honestly thought it was hilarious.

Z ─ Zones. What are their most erogenous zones ? Does their partner know all of them ? Do they make sure to stimulate each other in said zones ?

Colin's are on the back of his neck, shoulders, and his chest. Also just...everything around his groin. Very sensitive, it's not hard to turn him on. Klaus has his zones on his lower back, thighs (inner and outer, just start rubbing his thighs and he melts), and his tail. They didn't know each other's zones at first- what little they stumbled across during their brief time together at first was an accident- but after their redemption, they really took the time to 'get to know each other'. Now they can turn each other on expertly, and really work those sensitive areas.

#Ask #Thank you for the ask! #sinday ask memes #The dragon knight #Sir Colin the stag #Klaus dumont #Veruca dumont #Colin x Klaus #Kung fu panda

[lemondragoncheesecake]

NSFW Headcanons: Lady Daiyu Long (KFP OC)

+18 HC Below the Cut

Minors DNI

Everyone else: interact at your own peril.

Brief Description: Melanistic Asian water monitor. Usually wears a black fu and matching pants, carries a black metal staff as a weapon. Her eyes are black save for a ring of gold around the vertical pupil- also a spirit warrior.

Switch- depends on her mood and partner.

When she feels like being a dom, she’ll prefer her partner to be a pillow princess- just letting her do all the work, letting her spoil them- but never letting them touch her.

She prefers big men- she's a size queen, and enjoys the challenge of taking them on.

Loves big tummies, too- she's really into muscle guts.

Really likes to give oral. She's a water monitor, so no gag reflex and a long, flexible neck- she's really good at giving blowjobs.

Loves to ride her partner.

Also a bit of a masochist. She wouldn’t mind being slapped, spanked, bitten, whipped, burned, etc.- However, this is hard for her to outright admit to, and a source of mild embarrassment when she wants to bring it up; however, she could never do these things to anyone else- doesn't have a sadistic bone in her body, and tries to be very careful with her claws.

Also loves bondage. She doesn't mind being bound up or doing the binding.

Daiyu has to actually love someone to have sex with them. The only people she's ever slept with were people she was already in love with/in a relationship with.

She’s also pretty big on aftercare. She wants cuddles after.

Even when in a dom mood, she’s gentle on her partners. Sure, she might ride fast and hard, hold her partner down, maybe claws might accidentally prick the skin here and there- but she’s always cleaning the little nicks she caused, massaging her partner’s most sensitive places, cooing sweet nothings or encouragement in their ear, etc.

Would love to peg her partner.

Usually initiates. She’s mega horny at almost all times. Really loves sex.

Prefers mammal partners. She really likes how warm they are.

Probably wouldn’t mind some temperature play.

Daiyu has some major erogenous zones on the base of her tail-especially right under it- and her tongue and the inside of her mouth.

Usually really quiet in bed. She doesn't like to moan or make a lot of noise- but if her partner wants her to, she’ll oblige.

Wants to be squished. She really likes being crushed and smushed by a big dude.

Her O-face looks like she’s in immense pain- she doesn’t mean to do it, it just happens, and sometimes scares her partners.

Also doesn't mind being folded any sort of way during the act. She's very flexible.

#Feeling saucy and sassy so I'mma post this #Wanted to do more with my girl #I need to write about her more she's great #And her relationship with Kai #I am cringe and I am free #Kung fu panda #Naughty headcanons #Kfp oc #Kai the collector #General kai #Kai x oc

[lemondragoncheesecake]

For sexy abc ask.

Kai x Po.

A, D, E, F, H, K, N, P, W, Z.

A ─ After care. Do they take care of each other after sex ? How ?

Yes. Usually it depends on their situation at the time, but it usually involves a bath afterwards, or just cleaning up however they can- with a rag, tongue, etc.; Kai will also tuck Po in, and usually spends the rest of the night just laying with him.

D ─ Dreams. A wet dream my muse has had about yours, and whether they’d want to make it come true.

Kai doesn't sleep anymore- but Po has had a few wet dreams that surprised himself, though. Despite how vanilla he usually is, this dream involved that first time Kai used his chains on Po- save it took a much...well, spicier turn. When Po woke up, his sheets wet, and Kai sitting next to him, smirking, well...It was a bit of an awkward, embarrassing moment for Po. However, Kai was eager to hear all the details- and of course, to see if he could make that dream come true.

E ─ Experimenting. Are they willing to experiment new things ? Is there something they’d like to try with their partner, but haven’t had the chance yet ? Any experiments gone wrong ?

Po is really vanilla (to Kai's chagrin) but slowly starting to open up to new things. There are plenty of things Kai wants to try with Po, from orgasm denial to knife play- but again, they're still working towards Po being comfortable with that. So far none of their few experiments have gone wrong- bandage, toys, etc. have all been good.

F ─ First time. How was their first time together ? Was any of them nervous ? Did it live up to their expectations ?

Po was extremely nervous. Kai wasn't. It actually didn't go too well- mostly because Kai was too rough, and sort of forgot to consult Po to see if he would be alright with that, first- however, they did have a conversation after, and the next time they tried it, it was better.

H ─ Humour. Are they the kind to share a laugh during sex ? Has something funny already happened to them ( breaking the bed, one of them falling off the couch, funny noises, etc… ) ?

Kai doesn't want humor during the act, no- Po is much more easy going with it, and honestly sometimes ends up killing the mood Kai is trying to set because he won't take it seriously; but they both end up laughing, though, and having a good time regardless. There was a time when they broke a bed- and that had them both in hysterics.

K ─ Kissing. How important are kisses in their relationship ? Any favourite kind of kisses ? Do they have any rituals involving kissing ( never leaving for work without kissing the other, always sharing a kiss goodnight, etc… ) ?

Kai only kisses during the act, and then it's just a lustful tongue kiss- any other time is a no for him. Po wants more casual kisses- like little pecks throughout the day, on the cheek or on the lips, and will sometimes try to get Kai to kiss him. For example: "Hey, I have a sparring match with Tigress. Wish me luck?" And then points to his lips. Kai doesn't buy it, but he will give in on occasion, if there's no one around to see and Po presses him enough.

N ─ Nudes. Do they send them to each other ? Do they save them on their phones ? Do they keep them to themselves, or do they show them to their friends ? Have they ever sent one to a wrong number ?

Again, this only applies to a modern AU: and Kai is the only one sending nudes. He sometimes tries to prompt Po to send some in return, but Po's not yet comfortable with that (which is something else they're both trying to slowly open up to in terms of experimenting). Kai will also send them at the worst possible times- it's like he has a sixth sense for the thing, for example: Po trying to show his friends some meme on his phone, something innocent- and then BAM!- Notification and Kai's dick. It's gotten him into so many awkward, uncomfortable conversations. Kai has accidentally sent them to group chats and to random numbers, and then he's nonchalant about it- "Oh. My bad. Forward that for me, will you?"

P ─ Public. Have they ever done it in public ? Were they caught ? Do they have a favourite public place to do it ?

No. Kai wouldn't mind trying something in the Jade Palace, but Po isn't into that.

W ─ Walk of shame. Has one of them ( or both ) ever done a walk of shame ( trying to leave the place the other shared with roommates/family members unnoticed but being caught ) ? How was it ? What were the reactions ?

Po has done it at least once, and this incident caused him to ensure it would never happen again; they had just finished doing it at Mr. Ping's place in Po's former bedroom, and then Po walked out past his dads, trying to be casual, trying not to make eye contact, he was so ashamed- and then, just as he was saying "bye dads"- Kai comes swaggering out, sits down at the table with Li and Ping, takes a big swig of directly out of the teapot, and then, into the tense silence that awaited: "...Your son calls me 'daddy', too."

I'll let you imagine the explosion afterwards.

Z ─ Zones. What are their most erogenous zones ? Does their partner know all of them ? Do they make sure to stimulate each other in said zones ?

Kai's are definitely his chest and lower belly. Po's are around his hips/buttocks, his belly if touched a certain way, and his lower back, besides the more obvious ones. Po doesn't know all of Kai's yet, but Kai caught on and learned all of Po's pretty quickly. Kai always goes for these areas first and foremost, usually for an "advantage" in the bedroom. Po is still trying to learn Kai's to even things out.

#Ask #thank you for the ask! #sinday ask meme #master po #general kai #kai the collector #kai x po #kaipo

[lemondragoncheesecake]

I've seen your Kai x Chameleon posts and now I wonder do you have some NSFW headcanons with them? ;)

A few!

The Chameleon..shape-shifting. I think you know the rest: she can change things downstairs, and absolutely uses that to her advantage.

Kai is only gentle with her rarely- only when she's in her true form, and even then when she grates his gears, when she pushes him to the brink of snapping and losing his restraint- even then he doesn't go as hard on her as he could. It's only when she changes her shape that Kai truly loses his restraint, being as rough as he wants.

She's a dominant top/sometimes power bottom (depending on what form she takes), though there are times when Kai turns the tides, gets the upper hand, and then crushes her into the floor- Kai being a dominant top/switch. Whoever is "winning" at the time during their power struggles gets to top.

Their "love-making" usually looks like fighting - sometimes that's exactly what it is, and then devolves into them just outright fucking.

Sometimes the other caged masters serve as unwitting witnesses to these "bouts" of theirs. They're both into it- the masters...well, some of them like it, others not so much. (Someone save them they are traumatized.)

She's a sadist. Kai is immortal, so there's a lot of things she can get away with, things she couldn't try on anyone else without killing them. Kai is also a sadist, and only somewhat more gentle on her because she's mortal- but he draws some blood on occasion.

There's body worship involved. I think the Chameleon likes how big Kai is, and all of those muscles- especially those horns. I think Kai actually makes her feel less insecure about her size, and other aspects of her body she's been made fun of for. He really likes her scales, and sometimes they spend hours not actually doing anything explicit, just...touching and observing each other, brushing claw tips across expanses of skin.

It annoys her when Kai cracks a joke or two before they get into it. For example: "Are you going to keep that on, or do you want to slip into something more comfortable?" Talking about her shape-shifting.

She will turn into him sometimes during the act. It absolutely throws him for loop everytime she does it, and he has some ambivalent feelings about it, to say the least.

It shocks her that Kai tries to take care of her after. She doesn't believe anyone can actually care for anyone else, so this is how Kai actually surprises her. At first she only thought he was just trying to get on her good side so she would let him go- but then he kept doing it, and then she thought he was only doing it so she would be willing and able to go another round with him- and when he still kept doing it...well, it's a bit more complicated now, but she doesn't dislike it, and now has come to expect it.

#Ask #Thank you for the ask! #Kaimeleon #Naughty headcanons #General kai #the chameleon #kai the collector #Kfp

[lemondragoncheesecake]

For sexy abc ask.

Kai x Veruca.

A, D, E, F, H, K, N, P, W, Z.

VeruKai: Sexy ABC

A ─ After care. Do they take care of each other after sex ? How ?

Yes, in some way. Kai is usually a pretty selfish person, but there are moments where he sees he's caused some nicks and bruises on her pale hide and actually tends to them, gently dabbing up droplets of blood with a warm wet rag and kissing the bruises. I think Veruca would complain about his smell afterwards and demand a wash- though she's in the tub with him, helping him scrub down while he helps her. Kai doesn't need to sleep, but as she does, he lets her pillow herself on his belly and chest while he holds her, carefully still throughout the night so she can sleep soundly.

D ─ Dreams. A wet dream my muse has had about yours, and whether they’d want to make it come true.

Kai doesn't sleep anymore, but he does watch Veruca sleep sometimes, usually when she's laying on top of him. Once or twice he's watched her suddenly start moaning softly in her sleep, and then her hand crept down unconsciously, between her legs. Kai didn't say anything, but he enjoyed the show, and in the morning wanted to know what it was about, and how he could be apart of it next time. Veruca had ideas for that: her dream involved breathplay- I'll leave it there.

E ─ Experimenting. Are they willing to experiment new things ? Is there something they’d like to try with their partner, but haven’t had the chance yet ? Any experiments gone wrong ?

Yeah both are pretty open to experimentation. There's very little they won't do; however, Kai wanted to try something with bondage once, but that was a huge 'no' for Veruca. She doesn't like chains or ropes too much- it reminds her of being held prisoner.

F ─ First time. How was their first time together ? Was any of them nervous ? Did it live up to their expectations ?

It actually went really well. Neither of them were nervous, though; it sort of just happened, because they were both tense and angry at each other and needed something to help with that. There were no expectations going in besides just releasing tension, so it actually went beyond their expectations.

H ─ Humour. Are they the kind to share a laugh during sex ? Has something funny already happened to them ( breaking the bed, one of them falling off the couch, funny noises, etc… ) ?

Actually, yes. Both were trying to keep quiet, because Klaus was sleeping not too far away from them, and they were almost about to finish- but then Klaus' mouth fell open, and he started making this horrible raspy snoring/breathing noise- and it took everything in their power to stay silent and not burst out laughing. They tried to finish discreetly, but at that point they were chuckling under their breath so hard they were shaking and unable to keep a steady rhythm- and then their parts made some sort of slippery, gushy noise, which just made them struggle not to laugh even more, and then Kai managed to pull out without a sound- but he was shaking so bad he stumbled and fell over, and that made Veruca finally break and start her demon cackling- which made Kai burst out laughing, and then Klaus woke up, screamed at them both, and they laughed even more.

K ─ Kissing. How important are kisses in their relationship ? Any favourite kind of kisses ? Do they have any rituals involving kissing ( never leaving for work without kissing the other, always sharing a kiss goodnight, etc… ) ?

Surprisingly, kisses are more important to Kai. As stated earlier, he likes to kiss the bruises he may have left on her, or maybe some of the nicks after he's cleaned them. He also likes a kiss during the act, if he can manage to steal one; he never gives kisses outside of that. Veruca on the other hand loves to annoy him with little overly affectionate pecks throughout the day, along with a sugary sweet nickname, which makes his face flush.

N ─ Nudes. Do they send them to each other ? Do they save them on their phones ? Do they keep them to themselves, or do they show them to their friends ? Have they ever sent one to a wrong number ?

This doesn't really apply to the regular Canon- but in a modern AU I could see Veruca sending Kai nudes, yes. Kai would keep them and never share them (he's jealous) and if there was an incident where she accidentally sent them to someone else I think Kai would be infuriatingly jealous, anyway.

P ─ Public. Have they ever done it in public ? Were they caught ? Do they have a favourite public place to do it ?

Yes. They weren't ever caught, and they don't necessarily have a favorite public place, as they are always traveling, but they do prefer places like taverns or even libraries, places were the challenge makes it that much more satisfying.

W ─ Walk of shame. Has one of them ( or both ) ever done a walk of shame ( trying to leave the place the other shared with roommates/family members unnoticed but being caught ) ? How was it ? What were the reactions ?

Yes. They do it all the time in front of Klaus. Klaus really, really, really, really hates it, because neither of them are actually all that shameful about it. For Kai especially it's really more like a walk of pride.

Z ─ Zones. What are their most erogenous zones ? Does their partner know all of them ? Do they make sure to stimulate each other in said zones ?

Kai's zones are his chest and lower belly. Veruca's are her hips, neck, mouth, and inner thighs. They know all of each other's zones, and are always touching each other there. Veruca usually starts things off with a gentle massage in that area, and Kai is always holding her hips, kissing her neck, exploring those other regions with his lips and tongue; they know each other's zones very well.

#Ask #thank you for the ask! #sinday ask memes #general kai #kai the collector #Veruca #Kai x veruca #Veruca Dumont

[lemondragoncheesecake]

Ok, now that I saw your latest post about Kai and The Chameleon, now im more confident about this question...

How would they work? I mean, yeah, I love your hcs of Kai as someone dominant and pridefull and all bc it feels in character but...

According to Viola Davis, The Chameleon is sadistic and i dont think she would be the kind of surrender easily for a man/woman, so...

Im interested in your thoughts :3

Who said the Chameleon was surrendering to Kai?- I mean all Kai has is that loincloth, man ain't wearing the pants in this relationship. Lol.

Serious answer: she's the "dominant" one. Kai was captured by her and absolutely under her power, and not just in a literal sense of having been drained and caged; yes, she's smaller than him, but by no means a pushover weakling. I think Kai sees alot of himself in her- both having that sadistic, prideful, and power-hungry personality which lends itself to a mutual attraction; but they aren't, obviously, on equal footing, considering the Chameleon's nature and the nature of their relationship.

Kai, as awful as he is, has nothing on her. She's a different sort of monster entirely (andweadoreherforitabsolutequeen). What I mean is: Kai wants to rule side by side; she wants to rule alone. I think, however, there are these times they make a pretense of equal ground, enjoying snapping back at each other, pushing each other's nerves, a little back and forth (perhaps grinding between, when the tension is high)- but she's always quick to shatter that fascade, the one illusion she won't tolerate; after all, neither of them are deceived, not really.

#Long story short this is toxic as HECK #But unlike Kai x Jindiao there's a power imbalance and Kai for once knows what it's like to be the weak one #I'm sorry if this isn't very...detailed and coherent I have the eepy sleepies and the cramps so #I've made a mess of this ask please forgive me #I think they sort of have actual feelings for each other but it's messed up? Because both of them are messed up people #And Kai is super resentful of his position with her and she loves it #Complex to put it simple but in a messed up way #Kfp #kai the collector #the chameleon

[lemondragoncheesecake]

Imagine the Chameleon turns into Kai for the first time- but he completely criticizes it, pointing out all of the flaws in the details to a biting degree. The Chameleon gets irritated, the perfectionism complex triggered in her, and she snaps at him to hold still. Suddenly she comes close, examining every detail. She circles him, observing the shading in his fur, the particular way his mane curls at the ends or falls over his shoulders, the bands of color and scratches in his horns. She pulls him down to her level. Her claws reach out, eventually, to trace the curves of his legs, the ropes of muscle of his arms, his torso, how these all come together to shape his form. She studies all of the small scars, moving his mane out of the way occasionally to see the length of his spine, how that leads to his tail, and then she comes to a stop at his hips, still concealed by what little clothes he wears.

"Take this off."

"Why?" He asks, clearly amused. "Why do you need to see what that looks like?"

"Just do it, or else."

He laughs, unintimidated, but obliges, and she continues her study.

#Kfp #general kai #the chameleon #Kfp4 #body worship #Naughty headcanon #Kai x Chameleon #ship headcanons #...if I'm not careful this will become a drabble #You cannot judge me I have no shame. #Dang it hold on drabble incoming

[lemondragoncheesecake]

I just noticed:

NSFWish language:

There is something very vaguely slutty about the way Kai's chains are draped over his thighs. I mean he already is barely wearing anything, and then he has those chains draped over those THICK thighs like that...Man's a WHORE.

#Jk I love him really #kai the collector #kfp3 #Kfp #general kai #kung fu panda #kung fu panda kai #Kfp kai

[lemondragoncheesecake]

Me, making smutty General Kai x Reader content for all of the fans without time/energy/motivation:

#kai the collector #kfp3 #general kai #Kfp

[lemondragoncheesecake]

Headcanon ask that I thought about.

Does Kai like being chaining up on a leash, while he thrusts into his bottom? Can him be service top sometimes?

I think so! Kai doesn't mind being leashed or tied up, and for him it's still definitely a point of pride to service his partner- if only to boost his own ego. He may be the one technically being "used", but his partner will be left feeling like a cocksleeve after they're done; Kai can be leashed, but not tamed.

#Ask #Thank you for the ask! #kai the collector #Kfp kai

[lemondragoncheesecake]

General Kai x Reader: Breathtaker

Warning: Mild breath play, degradation, chain bondage, throat fucking, rough oral

Author's Note/Disclaimer: I've never written breath play before. This was just a naughty idea I had that turned into a drabble, so if there are inaccuracies I apologize in advance, don't be afraid to correct me (gently) in the notes, and please know I don't condone any actual unsafe practices. This is just how I feel canon Kai would be in this sort of situation- but PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT.

That being said, enjoy~!

Kai is a Spirit Warrior: he doesn't need to breathe. Unfortunately, he may have forgotten that you do.

He has your head in a rough grip in one hand, the other pulling the chains wrapped around you taut. They were almost cutting into your skin, keeping your arms pinned helplessly at your sides and your ribcage restricted to short breaths- and those were rare, when you could manage to catch one.

All you could hear was Kai's soft grunts and moans as a background ambiance to the cacophony of your own gagging and the sloppy, overlapping sounds of his drenched cock sliding in and out of your throat. He was rough and fast, mercilessly slamming his hips into your face, never giving you a moment to breathe. Your lungs were beginning to feel the strain.

Stinging filled your entire ribcage. Your oxygen starved lungs were screaming for a breath, darkness was beginning to close in around the edges of your peripheral vision. Your gagging came during longer intervals, and eventually stopped altogether. Then the desperate survival instinct kicked in, alarmed muscles contracting your diaphragm, attempting to force hyperventilation so you wouldn't suffocate.

You heard Kai cursing softly under his breath, half you understood, a few other words in a language you didn't. And then he pulls his cock from your throat, slowly, making you gag and cough as you tried to adjust to the lack of his size, air flooding into your deprived lungs. Drool oozed down your chin as you panted, gaping for air as you never had before. Kai took the edge of your chin in his hand and tilted it up to face him. Your vision began to unblur slightly, and his face came back into focus, though there was still a aura around the glow of his eyes. In his other he held the edge of your jaw, rubbing the sore muscle.

"Sorry," he said, in a tone that was barely apologetic, "I forgot. Mortals have to breathe."

He snorted, squeezing your chin somewhat tighter in a way that made you wince, and then he snorted again, wiping your lip clean of saliva with his thumb.

"Stupid, drooling slut. Choking yourself on my cock. You're lucky I noticed before you passed out."

You would have defended yourself, save you had neither the breath, the energy, nor at the moment the will to tell him that it had been his fault, keeping your arms chained up like that and your mouth too full to speak- but then again, you also knew that this was Kai's way of toying with you. He enjoyed deliberately getting under your skin, making little comments and degrading you until your pride caused you to snap- and of course, that was exactly what he wanted. You played along, of course- but to a degree; couldn't let him get away with everything, or there would be no end to it.

Instead, you kept your jaw deliberately and stubbornly set, even as your chest rose and fell heavily. A smirk pulled at the corner of Kai's lip, the sadistic gleam in his eyes making them glow brighter. You knew the trouble that was coming, and it only made you more aroused. You felt your mouth watering with his hardening cock.

"Oh, but is that what you want, pet?" His voice had lowered into a dangerous rumble, the threat it entailed as sharp and real as if he had pressed one of his blades to your throat, "You want me to fuck that tight throat of yours raw? Until it all goes black?"

He pulled on the chains again, and you gasped, feeling the cold metal links constricting your diaphragm again. The head of his member pressed roughly against your lips, still wet after its first turn in your throat.

"Bite me if you need me to stop. Open up."

And you did, as wide as you were able- even then, Kai's girth made it feel as if your jaw would pop out of place with just a little more width- but it didn't. You gagged horribly, feeling as some of his length hit the back of your throat, but you held it. Another kind of pride, more perverted, filled you, to be able to swallow that much of him. Your air pipe constricted, and you tried to adjust, taking the moment to breathe through your nostrils.

Kai didn't allow it. He grabbed the back of your head again and shoved it forward, pushing his hips in the same rough, quick motion. You almost choked, your throat contracting again. Kai made some soft chuffing noise and picked up his pace.

"Fucking brat," he grunted, "always running your mouth. You were begging for this."

You would have moaned out an agreement, save his member was gagging any attempt. Your breath was too short at the moment to waste any precious oxygen on even trying. Again, the muscles of your diaphragm were beginning to contract. Tears ran down your cheeks, not from any sort of distress besides that on your lungs.

Kai chuckled. "This is a much better use for it, anyway."

Of course you agreed; either it was the lack of oxygen making you woozy, or arousal turning off your brain, but you agreed. You wished he would stop playing with your throat and start fucking you straight out, but you had to "survive" this ordeal first. Your chest was stinging, the build up of trapped breath in your lungs straining against the chains binding you.

Saliva ran down your chin, down your throat. Tears blurred your vision, small rivulets marring your cheeks, mingling with your sweat. Kai used those chains like reins, pulling you in as close and tight as possible, his other hand gripping your hair to hold you still while he worked. Blackness started to creep into the edges of your already tear-soaked vision. That space between your legs was burning along with the space in your ribcage, both contracting in starvation, both yearning for something Kai was denying- and then-

Your vision cut off, but you felt something rushing down your throat, thick, heavy, enough to have choked you if your airway hadn't already been blocked. Again, your diaphragm was making those painful motions, and you heard Kai's voice vaguely, as if it were an echo from far away, his cursing...everything was so, so dark, but peaceful...

And then Kai pulled out, your sore jaw popped painfully back into place, and then you actually began gagging and choking on his cum. It took awhile, Kai patting your back the entire time, but eventually your airway and vision cleared. You were shaking, Kai's cum and saliva running down your chin. The chains had been loosened. Kai snorted.

"I told you to bite me if you wanted me to stop," he said, "next time you might actually choke." He chuckled again. "Not a bad way to go, all things considered."

He wiped your face off with a rag, cleaning it a little as he held your chin. It took a moment, but finally you were able to force words past your raw throat.

"But...I could think of...a better way to go..." Some of this sentence had to be more motion than word, pantomimed by grinding against his knee.

That had been the wrong move. There was a cruel gleam in Kai's eye now as he looked at you, and he held you in place, pressing his knee hard against that spot. "Maybe next time, if you're a good little pet, I'll let you," he said, as he began tying up his belt again with one hand. You frowned.

"Getting...tired...old...old cow? Need to...be...put out to...pasture? Selfish...motherfucker..." You panted. It was almost a whisper.

Kai's ear twitched. Then he grit his teeth. Oooh, you got him now. You braced yourself, panting, trying to hide your grin as he grabbed the back of your head and forced your cheek against the cold ground, his other hand lifting your hips.

"That's it," he snapped, "take a deep breath. You're going to need it."

Then you felt the weight of his hips on yours, and then he thrusted in with one brutally wonderful motion, and you cried out, voice hoarse from lack of air- but you expected to be even more breathless after he was done with you...but of course, you wouldn't be satisfied otherwise.

#One of the most depraved things I have ever written #Lock me up your honor #And throw away the key #Kfp #General kai x reader #Kai the collector #Fanfic #Drabble #Nsft #Kfp villain x reader #Honestly sort of rushed it

[lemondragoncheesecake]

It's Sinday Again 😈

You know what that means.

[lemondragoncheesecake]

🍎 ｡:*• ─ SEXY ABC.    ›    ( a list of questions, from A to Z, to help develop some headcanons about our muses. most questions are nsfɯ, so please make sure you’re not a minor and read at your own risk ! )

send a pairing + one or more letters for some headcanons regarding our muses’ sex life !

A ─ After care. Do they take care of each other after sex ? How ?

B ─ Breeding. Is this one of their kinks ? Do they often have unprotected sex ? Have they ever had any pregnancy scares ?

C ─ Condoms. Do they use them ?  Do they have a preference ( color, flavour, etc… ) ? Have they ever had an accident ?  Would they continue anyway, if they’ve forgotten/run out of them ?

D ─ Dreams. A wet dream my muse has had about yours, and whether they’d want to make it come true.

E ─ Experimenting. Are they willing to experiment new things ?  Is there something they’d like to try with their partner, but haven’t had the chance yet ?  Any experiments gone wrong ?

F ─ First time. How was their first time together ?  Was any of them nervous ?  Did it live up to their expectations ?

G ─ Games. Do they play any games involving sex  ( like adult board games, throwing dice to decide what’s their next position, engaging in roleplay, food play, etc… ) ?

H ─ Humour. Are they the kind to share a laugh during sex ?  Has something funny already happened to them ( breaking the bed, one of them falling off the couch, funny noises, etc… ) ?

I ─ Infidelity. Has any of them ever cheated on their partner ?  Whom have they cheated with ?  If not, is it something they could do ?  If yes, have they told them or has the other found out ?  Could they forgive and forget ? 

J ─ Jewellery. Do they own any sexy jewellery  ( like butt plugs with rhinestones, piercings in intimate areas, cock rings, collars, etc… ) ?  What do they think about it ? 

K ─ Kissing. How important are kisses in their relationship ?  Any favourite kind of kisses ?  Do they have any rituals involving kissing ( never leaving for work without kissing the other, always sharing a kiss goodnight, etc… ) ?

L ─ Lingerie. Do they enjoy wearing it and/or seeing their partner in lingerie ?  What kind of lingerie do they find the sexiest ? Any other clothing they love seeing their partner in  ( like grey sweater pants, wearing nothing but an apron, really short shorts, etc… ) ?  Do they often wear what the other likes, just to please them ?

M ─ Masturbation. Do they engage in it ?  Together or alone ?  Do they enjoy watching their partner masturbating ?  Do they use any toys, or just their hands ?

N ─ Nudes. Do they send them to each other ?  Do they save them on their phones ?  Do they keep them to themselves, or do they show them to their friends ?  Have they ever sent one to a wrong number ?  

O ─ O’clock. What time do they usually have sex  ( mornings, late at night, during lunch break, etc… ) ?  Are they usually in a rush, or do they take their time ? How about on weekends / holidays ?  

P ─ Public. Have they ever done it in public ?  Were they caught ?  Do they have a favourite public place to do it ?

Q ─ Questions. Is there anything they’d like to ask their partner, but never had the courage to ?  Any questions they’d rather avoid ?  Do they discuss everything as a couple, or are there any taboo themes ?

R ─ Recording. Have they ever filmed themselves having sex ?  Did they watch it together afterwards ?  Has anyone else seen their videos ? 

S ─ Spanking. Is this one of their kinks ?  If yes, who’s the spanker and who’s the spankee ?  Any favourite positions ?  Do they use just the hand or any other spanking implements  ( like the paddle, belt, whip, hairbrush, etc… ) ?

T ─ Turn ons & offs. What do they do to turn each other on ?  Is there something the other does that turns them off ?  Have they told them about it ?

U ─ Unusual. What’s the most unusual place they’ve had sex at/in ?  Was it a good experience ?  Would they repeat it ?  Is there an unusual place they’d like to try ?

V ─ Video call. Have they ever shared a sexy moment with each other during a video call ? What were the circumstances ( long distance, trying to cheer up/tease the other while at work, etc… ) ?  Did they enjoy it ?

W ─ Walk of shame. Has one of them  ( or both )  ever done a walk of shame  ( trying to leave the place the other shared with roommates/family members unnoticed but being caught ) ?  How was it ?  What were the reactions ?

X ─ X-rated. Do they watch any x-rated movies ( porn ) ?  Together or alone ?  Do they have a favourite type ?  Do they try to reenact them afterwards ?

Y ─ Yucky. Is there something they find particular disgusting or unpleasant in regards to sex ? Something they’d absolutely refuse to do, even if the other really wanted it ?  Have they already denied the other some kinks because of this ? 

Z ─ Zones. What are their most erogenous zones ?  Does their partner know all of them ?  Do they make sure to stimulate each other in said zones ?

☕️ ㅤ

#Sinday #Sinday asks #It is time for sin yet again >:3c

[lemondragoncheesecake]

For the sinday ask. I know that it's tomorrow, but still, heheh ;)

21 with Kai/Daiyu and Kai/Tigress.

21.+ established ship question. in any/all verses, with any/all ships, have your character/s speak about that ship's intimate & sexual dynamic, and how they feel about it.

What Kai and Daiyu have is...complex. More than lust, much more, though neither will name it aloud. It's very intimate, that's for certain, though casual, especially in the way it's initiated. Sometimes Kai leads, other times he lets her.

One thing about being a Spirit Warrior that they both enjoy: the futility of trying to find the limit to the limitless. How long can they go in one session until they're out of breath? (Eternity, when you don't need to breathe). How many climaxes can they have in a row? (Endless, when you no longer feel exhaustion). How much can they handle? (Everything, turns out- or almost).

Kai thinks she mistakes him for some soft, gentle thing that deserves her love, though Daiyu actually knows much better; yet, there are times when she treats him that way, and others when post coitus she's left him unable to stand or feel anything below the belt ; the sweetness to match the harsh.

It's even better for them because they're both immortal, truly equals; the only question is when - if ever - they'll get sick of it, a question Kai asks himself. What will send it all crashing down? When will he make that final move, the straw that breaks the lizard's back, that finally revolts her enough to leave him? What will he do when that happens? What will she? They both have eternity.

For Kai and Tigress it's more coarse. Kai usually initiates(heaven knows Tigress won't). He really pushes her buttons- both anger and arousal. And he knows just how to do it, too.

But even then- though neither will say it outright- there's definitely affection between them...and much tension. It's more annoying for Tigress because Kai, despite her best attempts, can always see right through her and know exactly when she wants to blow off steam; she won't ask for it, but Kai knows, and that's when he extends an offer- usually in the pretense of a private sparring match...which, when Kai has his way, always ends with both of them much more sweaty than they should be...and then Kai invites her to bathe with him. How can she refuse?

#Ask #sinday ask memes #thank you for the ask! #Sorry this took so long #General kai #Master Tigress #Kai x tigress #Kai x oc #Kai the collector #Kung fu panda