letsfakejosh

[letsfakejosh]

Alpha, bring me five steakburgers with attitude.

#cats #hobbylobby #friendship is magic #power rangers #zordon #steakburgers #blueman

[letsfakejosh]

I don't go to flea markets because I have cats.

#fleas #Cats

[letsfakejosh]

Is blood sugar like blood diamonds?

#Blood diamonds #Bananas

[letsfakejosh]

Gay marriage being legalized is just one step closer to me being able to marry my cat. I can't wait. 

[letsfakejosh]

I'm trying to get my cats to bite me so I can become an Animorph.

[letsfakejosh]

Where does the water go when it goes down the sink? I tried following the pipe but it just goes into the wall. Does the wall drink the water?

[letsfakejosh]

I think I'm addicted to cats. #catholic

#catholic

[letsfakejosh]

I wish I had majored in gender studies. Maybe then I would have a better job.

#gender studies #gender #college

[letsfakejosh]

Does Santa know Saint Nick is trying to steal his job? They should try to get along like Batman & Robin.

[letsfakejosh]

I am never going to dance again because diabetic feet have got no circulation.

#friends don't dance #sugar #gout

[letsfakejosh]

I try to hold my poo poos in until I get to work because I get too embarrassed to buy toilet paper. That's why I stay so late.

[letsfakejosh]

I'm not afraid of falling over cliffs because I have no death perception.

[letsfakejosh]

Are the cheeks on my face the same as the ones down there?

[letsfakejosh]

I wear my sunglasses at night but when I take them off it’s daytime again.

#sunglasses #sun #moon

[letsfakejosh]

My cats love me but I don't think they're in love with me.

#cat emergencies

[letsfakejosh]

Dear Diary, cat food mayonnaise kitty litter dr pepper x 10

#dear diary

[letsfakejosh]

I ran out of drinking cups so I've been using water balloons.

#cups #thirsty