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lieslab · 2 days

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Teacher's pet

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: Chan finds you late at night struggling with the realization that your high school teacher groomed you.

Genre: Angst with comfort/hurt

Word Count: 3.9K

Trigger warning: Grooming, pedophilia, abuse of power via manipulation, mentions of sex, rape, and sexual assault.

A/N: To the requester for this one, I tried my best while writing this. I did quite a bit of research with this topic. This is incredibly heavy stuff. I'm sorry that this happened to you and to the rest of you, if you've ever gone through something similar, I'm so sorry. Grooming is horrible and I wish it was one of the many things that didn't exist in the world. I hope this can provide, even if it's just a sliver, some sort of comfort <3

_ _ _

When Chan came home from work, you were missing. The two of you had shared an apartment for quite a while. You both went half and half for everything. Living with a roommate made everything cheaper.

“Where are you?” Chan called out. He let his knuckles fall against your bedroom door, but there wasn’t a response. Holding his breath, he turned the knob and pushed the door open to reveal nothing.

Your bed was messy and unmade. Your favorite color of bedding was twisted and one of your pillows was nearly tipping onto the floor. A half-smile came over Chan’s face as he picked it up and placed it back in its proper spot.

It seemed like you were missing, until he realized your bedroom window was unlocked. So you must have climbed out onto the roof. This late at night, it was a treacherous and dangerous task, but you still managed.

You managed to find the footholes in the darkness. In your worn sneakers, you scaled up the two story building and sat up on the fired clay. It wasn’t the best idea, but the roof was where you could breathe.

You and Chan came out here at night all the time. When life became too heavy and you needed fresh air, this was where you went. He came out here to come up with new lyrics and song ideas.

It wasn’t often that the two of you crossed paths on the roof. When you did, the two of you sat in your respective spots. Chan sat on the left and you sat on the right. Your legs dangled over the edge and the moon hung high up in the sky.

Dotted with freckled constellations and the occasional shooting star, you were at ease up here. The air smelled faintly sweet and floral from the cherry blossom trees. In your opinion, they smelled better up here.

The busy traffic of Seoul slowed to a crawl late at night. Most of the time, there’d barely be anyone out here. When they drove by, the faint hum of the accelerator and the occasional huff of gasoline or diesel drifted by.

This time of night, it was wondrous. The grass was starting to grow again and this was the first time you had been up here since winter. The iciness and chill made the roof tiles too slick to climb.

On the roof, you let your legs dangle down and your ankles hung off the edge. Chan pried his fingers beneath your window panel and pushed it up. He stuck his head out and reached up.

You stayed still at the sound of stirring from below. Chan climbed up the side of the building and onto his side of the roof. With a groan, he dropped his body onto the cracking tile.

Your eyes briefly darted towards him before they went back and refound the distance across the way. He must have just got back from the studio. He was still in a pair of black basketball shorts and a matching zip-up hoodie.

His calves were illuminated by the white moonlight. He rubbed them a few moments and curled his legs up while mimicking your own posture.

Your legs were tucked to your chest and your arms wrapped around them. The natural line of your mouth drooped down a little more tonight. There was a glassiness to your eyes, as if you were holding back tears.

When Chan realized it, he frowned, but he didn’t want to pry. “Rough night?” He offered weakly.

All you could do was nod without a word. Sometimes reality was like a shard of glass. Swallowing it left your throat hoarse and mangled. It shredded the slippery sides of your esophagus and tore all the way down. The ache and burn left behind was embedded in your brain and it’d always linger like a shadow.

“Wanna talk about it?” Chan offered.

You shook your head and kept your gaze to the distance. If you looked at him, you’d break down and you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to forget about this dark period in your life. You wanted to toss out the memories and let them drift away in the wind; never able to hurt you ever again, but memories are not like dust, they’re much more like syrup.

You can scrub and scrape, but there will always be sticky parts left behind and between the intricate folds of your brain. You can dig and claw, but some memories will be there until the end of time; small annoying bits that are just out of reach.

“Hmm, okay.” Chan slung a hand over his opposite wrist. The two of you sat for a few moments until a dimpled grin stretched across his face. “What if I offered you your favorite popsicle?”

You glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. He let out a small giggle and reached into the pocket of his hoodie. When he pulled it out, he was gripping the familiar packaging of your favorite popsicle flavor.

That must have been the reason why he came up here to begin with. Sometimes the two of you would get things for one another. He must have been unable to wait for you to come down, so he went up.

“Thank you,” you managed to mumble as you gently pulled it from his hand.

“You can thank me by telling me what’s got you so glum.” He pulled out another popsicle from his other pocket and began to unpeel it. “You know me, I won’t judge you.” He flashed you a reassuring smile before he tore open the wrapper.

“I know.”

“Then what is it?” He couldn’t help himself. He was so curious and he was dying to know. It was an itch that couldn't be scratched enough. “What’s on your mind? Hmm?” He shifted closer to you and took a bite of his frozen treat.

Your lips pressed together and you debated on telling him. The topic was one you had never told him about and it would be a tough conversation for the two of you to have. You sucked in a deep breath before you released it.

“It’s um…it’s quite a conversation. It’s a lot and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Chan laughed, “how bad could it really be?”

“I loved him,” you mumbled. Your eyes stayed on your treat while you slowly began to unwrap it.

“Who?”

“My teacher.”

It was slightly melted from where it pressed against the warmth of Chan’s skin. You remembered how warm skin could be. After all, you felt the contact of another human far more than you wanted to when you were younger.

Chan snorted and rolled his eyes. “I loved some of my teachers too. My favorite one was my second grade teacher. What’s the big deal?”

“No,” you shook your head, “I loved him.”

“Like…crushing?”

You sucked in a deep breath and shut your eyes. “It was more than that. It was so much more and there’s a whole story involved. It’s a messy situation that still has me pretty screwed up. I wish he didn’t control me anymore, but…”

You bit your lip trying not to cry. Ever since you found out that the high school teacher, who had groomed you, had gotten married, it was killing you. That was supposed to be you. You were supposed to be the one who married him. He talked about it all the time.

Chan pulled his half-consumed popsicle away from his mouth. With furrowed eyebrows, he took in the distress on your face. His lips puckered together before he went on. “Did something happen?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“Your teacher?”

“And you know what the worst part is?” Glossy tears began to fill your eyes. “I really believed he loved me back.”

Chan stayed silent and attempted to put all the pieces together. The things you were saying weren’t adding up. There was no way you had a thing with your teacher as a kid. No fucking way. He would have known and you would have told him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to speak. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about.”

“It started at the beginning of high school. I had the most amazing math teacher. He was young and he was charming. He couldn’t have been much older than his late twenties. He looked like he walked straight out of Hollywood.”

“The very first assignment he assigned was a get to know me project. He knew I lived with my mom because I mentioned that my dad had been killed in a car accident. I was a kid and that grief was still so new. I was grieving and so was my mom.”

Chan nodded and let you continue.

“And then not too long after that, he’d start asking me to stay after class, so he could help me with a few lessons. It was fine in the beginning, I was just a student who needed some extra help, but it escalated.”

The popsicle was beginning to melt down your hand, but you didn’t care. It oozed across your thumb and caressed your wrist. If you paid too close attention, you could still feel his warm callouses brush against your soft skin.

“And that’s when the touching began.”

“The touching?”

“It was innocent, I swear. He’d come up behind me and began to rub my shoulders while I worked on problems. He’d bend down and whisper his advice into my ear.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. Involuntarily, your body was reliving everything. Goosebumps slipped down your arms and a chill swept across your spine.

“Despite how weird it was, I didn’t mind it. Things continued and he made me feel wanted. Over time, he started to get permission from my mom to bring me home. He used to ask about my dad. Apparently, he lost his own dad when he was a kid, so he knew how it felt.”

Chan felt nothing, but disgust. He wanted to plug his ears and he wanted you to stop. How old were you during that time? Thirteen? Maybe fourteen at the latest? You were just a kid.

“I missed my dad so much and he was so kind. I loved the extra attention. During class, he’d brush an arm against me and mutter an apology. He’d let his hand drag across my desk a little longer than normal as he collected my paper with a smile.”

“I-I don’t know. I just really liked how he made me feel and I know-” Your voice cut off. The lump in your throat sat there like a boulder. “I know it wasn’t right, but at the time, I adored everything about it.”

You wiped an arm across your eyes and kept your fingers wrapped around the popsicle stick with the other hand. Your fingers had gone white around the wooden stick. Reliving all of it was like a knife in the chest.

“There was one day where I was in his car. He started to attend all my sporting events to cheer me on. My mom was sick, so she asked if he could drive me there. I-I know how awful it is, but he asked me if I ever had intercourse.”

Chan’s voice stuck in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. He wished he could wake up from this nightmare. How could he not know about this? How long had you been burying this pain inside?

“And then when I said no-”

His heart dropped.

“He said he could show me, so I knew what to do.”

And then it shattered. His own tears began to creep up in his eyes. You were just a kid, at that age, you were practically a goddamn baby. How dare someone in such a privileged position hurt you like that.

He was a teacher and you were his student. There was a position of power over you. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, and it was morally fucked.

He wanted to throw up. The sweet burst of cold popsicle faded from his tongue. Now the artificial sweetness wanted to make him vomit. He wanted to bend over and throw up.

After a few moments, despite it all, he finally got out the words he was afraid to ask. “Did he…you know?”

When you didn’t respond, he already knew. It crushed his heart. His lungs were on fire and they had burst. An indescribable bright blue rage had ignited. It burned hot enough that it could melt towns and murder platoons of fully armed men.

“Your teacher raped you,” he whispered.

“It wasn’t like that, I said yes and I-”

“You were a child!” His voice flew out stern. “You were a child and he was a teacher! He should have never put his filthy hands on you! That goddamn bastard, I’ll fucking kill him!” The tears in your eyes slid down your cheeks faster. “How long did this go on for?”

“Years,” you weakly got out. “It stopped a few months after I graduated. He said that he needed space. He said it wasn’t working out. He said I-I wasn’t good enough anymore. He said so many things.”

Chan silently did math in his head. He remembered that when he met you, you had graduated nearly a year prior. The two of you were around the same age at the time, but that was years ago. It must have been shortly after the fact.

“And where is he now?”

“Still teaching.”

“I- Huh? What?”

“He’s still at the same school and teaching the same grade. He just recently got married to a girl that graduated a few months ago.”

Chan closed his eyes and tried to focus on calming his raging blood pressure. It wouldn’t help either of you, but he was furious. He probably did the same thing to that girl that he did to you. He probably groomed her too and it made him want to scream and throw something. He wasn’t okay with people taking advantage of others and, specifically, more younger people.

You sniffled and stared out at the distant neon lights. A silence grew between the two of you and you knew you hurt Chan’s feelings. You didn’t mean to, but you needed to get it all out.

“How do you feel about it now?”

You paused for a moment thinking about his words. “I feel so ugly. I feel like I was used and then tossed to the side. I know it sounds bad, but I wish I still had his validation. I still crave it even though it’s been years.”

“I’m really sorry you went through that. It’s a tough situation and you were a kid. You don’t have to beat yourself up over it. You didn’t know and I-”

“But I did know. I knew what was going on and I wanted it to happen. I liked him and it made me feel good. It made me feel loved, so he didn’t groom me and it’s my fau-”

“Don’t make excuses for him!” Chan’s voice went shrill. “He was a grown man and you were a child! You were a baby! You were just growing into becoming your own person and starting high school!”

“Don’t you dare give him another excuse. He knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong. He should have had the intelligence to stay away from you and never pursue you like that. He’s sick!”

“Y-You don’t get it.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t get it. You’re letting this man get away with this disgusting behavior. What about that girl, huh? What about that girl he married? If another teacher was sleeping with a fourteen year old, would that be okay?”

“No! No! Of course not, but things were dif-”

“You were groomed,” Chan cut you off. Tears streamed down his face. The popsicle was long gone from his hand. Instead, it melted into a puddle on the warm roof tile. “You are a victim in this whole scenario.”

“But I-”

“You are. You are a victim and I will not stop saying it because it’s clear you’ve been brainwashed. You were a child and you didn’t know any better. You were put in an adult scenario when you were a child. You were taken advantage of by a pedophile. Do you hear me?”

Angry tears of frustration poured down his cheeks. He hated that you were blaming yourself for this situation. He hated that you couldn’t see the situation like he could. The grooming had worked on you. So blinded, the truth was skewered in your eyes.

“I will never shut up about it. You were sexually assaulted and raped by a pedophile. You were a child and I don’t care how nice he was. I don’t care if he bribed you with compliments and the affection your life lacked.”

“If you had a fourteen year old kid now, what would you think? If this same thing happened to them? If they came home and announced they had sex with their high school teac-”

“Stop!” You cried as you squeezed your eyes shut. “That’s different! It’s entirely different! Stop it! Stop it!”

“Then tell me what the difference is.”

“The difference was that it was me! I was mature for my age and I-” Your eyes reopened to look at Chan.

The way he was looking at you now, it was killing you. The glassy eyes and the furrowed eyebrows. There was anger looming in that russet brown. The moonlight reflected off them and bounced it back towards you.

You couldn’t help it as your exterior began to crack. Like an egg, pieces of shell were ripped away. Your bottom lip trembled and you struggled to get out the next few words.

“T-The difference is that I just wanted to be loved by a father figure. I-I missed my dad so much and I-” You didn’t get a chance to finish because you burst into sobs.

It was overwhelming as you cried. The stickiness still stuck to your hand. The liquified popsicle drizzled down the clay tiles and dripped off the roof. This hurt buried inside was killing you. You remembered all of it.

You remembered how uncomfortable you were when his chapped lips met yours. You remembered the way his fingers tightened against your hips. Puberty was still relatively new to you and you were trying to grow more into your developing body.

Your limbs were a little longer. There was more weight in places there hadn’t been before. It was only the start of freshman year. You were new to high school and things were much different.

You remembered how much it hurt the first time. How you were left to fend for yourself in a puddle of your own warm blood. A little fearful, you remembered the growing disgust you felt deep inside yourself, but you thought it was normal.

You couldn’t get your innocence back. Society was cruel when it came to such a thing. You weren’t pure anymore, you were infected and diseased. You were as filthy as the rest of them. A fallen angel who had lost their wings.

If your mother ever would have known, she would have lost it. You always grew up being told sexual intimacy was something that happened a lot later in life, but you were so mature for your age. At least, that’s what your teacher said.

He liked the way your body looked. You were young, you were fresh, you were nothing, but a docile little lamb. With your sparkling doe-eyes, you were nothing, but a toy for him.

Your skin was unmarked by anyone before him. You were so young and naive. You were malleable and pliable; perfect for a hungry wolf like himself. The young lambs always have the cleanest and purest blood; they always taste the sweetest.

You wanted love, he wanted pleasure. You wanted affection, he craved attention. You wanted a father, he wanted your freshly ripened body; straight from the vine, you were plucked for him and him alone.

What a perfect and sweet peach that you were. So ripe, so delectable, not a bruise detected on your delicate flesh. And your juice, how irresistible you were.

Plucked from the vine, yanked from the others, and taken a bite out of. When you were old enough, you were tossed to the ground. It was there where you rotted with the other withering peaches.

You fermented a soft sweetness for the flies until you withered brown and green. You withered away in the scorching sun. Your once soft skin writhed and squirmed until you decomposed into the dirt to be walked over again and again and again.

You had never felt quite right since then. You searched for love in the wrong places. You fell to your knees and begged for an ounce of love. Nobody could fill you and supply you with enough love as your teacher had.

He told you just enough to keep you happy. After a while of teaching a dog a new trick, you don’t have to teach them anymore. You grew to learn what he liked and disliked. It was a toxic tornado filled with an improper power dynamic.

He didn’t care about the sticky hands and half-melted popsicles anymore. Chan gently grabbed your forearm and pulled your body towards him. Your shoes scraped along the cracked tile.

Beneath the moonlight, you fell apart as Chan’s hands wrapped around you. Unlike your teacher, his hands didn’t roam your body. They didn’t search for sexual pleasure. He didn’t use your body for his advantage. His arms wrapped around your back and they stayed there.

He soothed you softly and rocked you back and forth trying to comfort you. He had no doubt that you were exhausted. This was a lot to share with anyone and that included him. He continued to rock you and placed his chin on the top of your head.

He’d sway all night if he had to. He’d sing you a soft lullaby and lure you to sleep. He’d keep away anyone who dared to lay a rotten finger on you.

In a few hours, the moon would be replaced with sunlight. He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. Your sobs began to turn into quick hiccups. He kept his arms around you and quietly cooed.

He needed to find you someone to talk to. Your perception of everything was still warped. The past still had its claws on you. You were still under the illusion your teacher had created. You were a victim, but he was determined to help you become a survivor.

You were so strong. You had hid this from him for years. As your hiccups began to fade away, he gently placed his lips on the top of your head in an attempt to comfort you.

No matter what happened tomorrow, he’d remind you how much he loved you over and over again. He’d continue to show you what real love was. Again and again, he’d show you until one day, you realized what healthy love truly looked like.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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lieslab · 6 days

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The depths between: Chapter three

Trigger warning: Brief mention of blood.

Chapter two

A/N: I'm sorry this is short. I'll try to make it up in the next one. I recently started a new job and I'm trying to juggle getting used to that, writing tumblr drabbles, writing a full story, and figuring out life in general.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

The moment Hyunjin’s body sank beneath the depths, he snarled. His curled fingers stretched forward and jerked down. The pliable webbing between them helped manipulate the water.

Beneath the water, despite it being night time above, sirens could see perfectly. They were each equipped with their own black and white version of night vision.

His brows furrowed once he made out the floating image of Felix staring at him disapprovingly. Hyunjin’s nostrils furrowed and he shot out a huff of displeasure.

“How many times do I have to tell you to leave cruise ships alone?”

“Fuck off!”

“You promised!” Felix shot back.

Hyunjin’s fingers curled and pressed into his palms. He hated that Felix was right, he had promised. It was the one thing he hated about being indebted to people. He felt like he owed them his life. In the case of Felix, he did.

Dark and light sirens don’t interact with each other. Dark sirens are exactly how they sound; dark, broadening, cold, and cruel. Light sirens are the opposite. When they see each other, they avoid one another like the plague.

That’s how it had always been since some of the dark sirens began to kill the light sirens. There wasn’t much of a reason why other than because they could. They were the most dominant force in the open waters. Beneath the surface, there were thousands of them just out of reach.

Hyunjin knew he was in a dangerous area. He was warned about staying away from the fishing ports, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to be the one to destroy a boat filled with people. He couldn’t help that violence was laced in his nature.

It was evening when he swam close to one of the boats. He didn’t consider that the boat might haul up their daily catch. The net shot up before he realized what was happening.

Like a venus fly trapped, he was clasped inside and enclosed. Multiple different species of fish pushed against his body. He gritted his teeth and swiped towards them, attempting to free himself.

Instead of freeing himself, he found more fish. Blood mixed with water and disoriented his vision. He jerked around against the scaled force. The fish were everywhere and there was no escape.

They pressed against his bare chest. His arms were coated in irritation from thrashing scales. A dorsal fin brushed against his ear. A different tail fin scratched the inside of his nose. When one of them attempted to swim into his mouth, he screamed.

Not far away, Felix was swimming around and observing. As a light siren, his golden tail speckled beneath the sun. He was a treasure beneath the waves, but he had been precautious in his journey to the fishing boats.

Over the past two weeks, he spent his time studying the boats and learning what nets went up at what time and where they were. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to go near the fishing boats, but nobody had stopped him either.

Now and then, he’d sneak over to a net, grab different parts, and he’d start to gnaw. It was funny to see the fisherman crews’ confusion and distress. Overfishing was a huge issue and he was happy he could put a stop to it.

The high-pitched siren sound caught his attention right away. His yellowed hair floated up everywhere as he searched the water trying to find the sound. When he found the net slowly ascending a few boats away, he took off.

He didn’t know the siren trapped in the sea of fish was a dark siren. Even if he would have known, he would have helped out anyway. Despite everything the dark sirens did, it wasn’t in his blood to hate.

Once he arrived, he jerked at the bottom of the net. Clinging to it with one hand, it pulled his body up with it. He clawed through the fibers with his nails. He tried to make it large enough that a fish could get through.

When the gap was large enough, one of the silvery-blue fish jerked itself out. Another quickly followed and then another and another. Felix grabbed more fibers and began to rip them apart.

The fish spat out and jutted off in multiple different directions. The force of escapism forced them all to shoot out one after the next after the next. They nearly blinded Felix in the haze of it all as the net continued to rise.

When a human hand shot out of the hole, Felix reacted quickly. His fingers gripped it tight and he yanked. Amidst the fish, Hyunjin’s body was jerked through the hole.

At the sweet release of freedom, he gagged and wiped his mouth. Every siren tended to have different dishes they enjoyed. Hyunjin consumed his fair share of octopus, eels, and squid. Fish were the one thing that he absolutely couldn’t stand.

“I’m going to kill all of you!” He screeched at the dispersing fish. Another gag soon followed.

Felix blinked in shock at his behavior. The fish hadn’t done anything to him, at least, not on purpose. They were scared just like he was.

By the time Hyunjin finished his miniature freak out and pouting session, an angry glare was shot towards the rising net. All that was left behind were the dead fish that had their lungs punctured by Hyunjin’s claws.

“And one day, I’ll kill you too, you fishy bastards!” His fist shook up towards the fishing boat.

It was interrupted by Felix’s laughter. Hyunjin had been so preoccupied, he hadn’t realized that there was a light siren behind him. Staring into the whites of Felix’s eyes was definitely new. He had never bothered interacting with the light sirens. His own kind said it was pointless.

“What the hell are you laughing at?” He snapped.

“You. You’re acting like they can hear you. This is your own fault and you got yourself into this predicament. Haven’t you been told to stay away from the fishing boats? That’s why you shouldn’t rush into this area.”

“I’ll kill you too.”

Felix didn’t mind Hyunjin’s negativity. To Hyunjin’s shock, Felix stuck an arm out towards him with a smile. “Hi, I’m Felix.”

Hyunjin wanted to rip his claws across his throat right then and there, but he couldn’t. Felix had just saved his life. He, at least, deserved some sort of thank you for that. A brief internal debate led him to sticking out his own hand.

“I’m Hyunjin.”

Back in the present time, Hyunjin was fuming. Felix never let him have any sort of fun. The cruise ship was the first ship that he had seen in nearly two weeks. It was the first time he’d be able to actually kill a person and Felix ruined it.

There was a thrill involved with it. The panic that engulfed a dying person was his pleasure. The way they withered while choking on salt water. He remembered the burn himself. Watching other people die the same way he had, it set off an internal blaze.

“You know how much cruise ships mean to me. Why can’t you kill something else? I’ve already told you that we’ve been tracking a group of male dolphins that keep harassing female dolphins and yo-”

“Murdering dolphins isn’t like murdering people! How many times do we have to go over this? Just leave me the fuck alone and fuck off!” Hyunjin dived further down and steered left.

“Hyunjin, you know that I-”

“Save it!” He shot back.

Felix was left with nothing, but gentle ripples from where Hyunjin once was. No matter what he tried to do, Hyunjin would never lose his malice. In their world, the dark sirens always won.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Next part: Coming soon

Taglist: @ilovetocas1 @vvislici0us @fr34k4c1dr41n @hamburgers101 @juskz @x-0ophelia0-x @viviworkshere

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#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids drabbles #skz fanfic #stray kids au #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix x you #stay #hwang hyunjin

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lieslab · 7 days

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hii sorry in advance english isn't my first language. i'm not sure if you're taking requests but your writing has been such a comfort to me so i wanted to ask for a hyunjin drabble. where him and reader are in a relationship but reader feels unlovable/like she doesn't deserve his love, maybe tries to self sabotage to make him break up with her but he comforts and reassures her. i've grown up with an emotionally abusive and manipulative mother who kept making me feel and even outright telling me that there's nothing to love about me and that she wouldn't miss me if i k*lled myself among other things and i'm still not over it but i don't really have anyone to talk to abt it so a little comfort fic with hyunjin would be super nice :')

Hi, darling. Your english is amazing!! I'm usually always taking requests. Of course, I can do that. I have two other fics that are coming out this week, so this drabble probably won't be posted until the end of this week.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm not sure why she'd ever say that. You're her child and I can't imagine ever telling a child that they're worthless. You're most certainly not worthless. I don't know who you are, but I bet there are about a hundred or more things to love about you.

Maybe it's the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight or perhaps it's the way you smile when you see something you like. People are loveable for a multitude of reasons and you're no exception to that.

She might not miss you, but I would. I'm glad you reached out to me. If you need someone to listen, I'd be happy to do it. You deserve to experience love, everyone does. I'll start to plot the drabble soon <3

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lieslab · 8 days

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i want to request a drabble but im hesitant to ask for it. I want to make a trigger warning for grooming and pedophila. u can say no bc this is a hard topic to write about. i dont wanna upset you. never. but do u think you can make a drabble for a person who is struggling bc they realized theyve been groomed? im having a hard time dealing with it and i think its my fault it happened to begin with preferably a comfort thing with channie plz. can you make the groomer a teacher?i started high school when it started. if not no worries. i thought id ask bc u seem to do well with dark topics

This has been in my inbox for a bit and I keep going back and forth with it because it is such a sensitive topic and I've never experienced anything like this before. I've watched content about it and read about it, but that is entirely different than actually living through it. Quite a bit of the stuff I write about, I've survived and experienced similar situations.

It's not your fault, not at all, darling. Sometimes people are cruel and take advantage of people. It's disgusting and it's gross. I'm so sorry you went through that. No matter how it started, your teacher shouldn't have started something like that to begin with.

I'll try my best because I know there are people out there besides you that this has happened to. I've always wanted to help people and I don't know anyone that's written about this topic. Maybe they have and I'm unaware of it. However, I want to do it justice and write about the darker parts. So please read the trigger warnings when I post it because I don't want to upset you.

I hope you've been able to talk to someone about this because this is an awful thing to go through. Ugh, I can't imagine it. Please know that it's not your fault. No matter what I say, it won't make the hurt go away. I hope you can find some sort of peace soon <3

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lieslab · 8 days

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Your writings bring me so much comfort <3

Thank you 🥺 I'm glad you enjoy them!! This is my favorite thing to do in the whole entire world. I love writing and I love being able to entertain the masses. I know life can be really hard and I'm so happy to know that it helps bring people comfort. At the end of the day, it's people like you who make me want to continue, so thank you <3

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lieslab · 13 days

Text

Waiting for us

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Seungmin X gn reader

Summary: After going to a carnival and getting stuck at the top of a ferris wheel, you crumble in your boyfriend's arms.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 5K

Trigger warning: Heights, anxiety, depression, mentions of nausea, parental issues, child abuse and neglect, self-hatred, self-harm, and mentions of not eating.

A/N: To whoever requested this, I don't know how you feel about carnivals. I don't know how you feel about ferris wheels and heights either, so I guessed. One of my most precious memories is my local county fair during warm summer days. I hope this warms your heart as much as it warms mine <3

_ _ _

You were playing pretend again. You were like a dancer frozen in time and trapped in a music box. Life cranked the knob and the music twinkled in the background. You spun, not because you wanted to, but because you had to.

Life was hard, it always seemed to be. The weight of mental issues on your shoulders made it worse. Around and around you went playing the game of life. However, lately, it was just…different.

The gears in your music box had rusted over time. They creaked and your music was beginning to warp. Years of endless dancing made you grow fatigued. You could barely find the effort to keep going and yet, you continued on and on.

You were supposed to be happy today. You were trying your best, you really were. Your boyfriend had the whole day free and the two of you were supposed to enjoy the carnival together. He met you at the door with a grin and you tried to return it, but something was off.

He noticed how defeated you looked instantly, but he ignored it. Feelings for you were fickle and you tended to struggle with them a lot. Talking about them was difficult and it made you uncomfortable.

He didn’t know what it was, but he knew that you were off. The brown bags beneath your eyes had shifted to plum purple. Your cheeks seemed a bit more hollow than usual. There was a lingering darkness that surrounded you, but he didn’t know how to bring it up.

Feelings for both of you, it was a bit of a struggle. Neither of you wanted to be a bother towards the other. It was one of the things that you both needed to work on in the relationship.

When you arrived, you had high expectations. You thought the situation would cheer you up, but it didn’t. Carnivals were supposed to be filled with bright colors. Laughing people and screams from carnival rides. The oiled scent of fried food and the bubbling of excitement flowing through your veins.

Everything felt entirely different this time. The colors were more muted and the background sounds seemed faint. The scent of fried food made your stomach churn with nausea. You couldn’t imagine eating a single bite without throwing up.

You felt empty on the inside and you’d felt that way for a while. After a slew of personal issues, it was difficult to find your happiness. Things tended to control you more than you wanted them too. You didn’t know how to stop it.

There were eyelets in your limbs with strings laced through. You were pulled in different directions and none of those were in the direction you wanted to go. A puppet on a string, you struggled with everything.

Beside you, the warmth of Seungmin’s hand clutched yours firmly. He let you through the entrance after the two of you paid and he stopped on the path that led down the way.

“So what do you want to do first?”

Your eyes scanned the area as you debated. The more you saw, the more you just wanted to go home. Your anxiety was growing with the more people you saw and it was overwhelming.

“What do you want to do?” You asked.

Seungmin clicked his tongue and glanced around the area. “Well, I suppose we can go on the ferris wheel if you’re not a chicken.”

“I’m not a chicken and I don’t mind heights.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Are you challenging me?”

“It’s not a challenge if you cop out.”

“Fine, let’s get wristbands and then we can go on the ferris wheel. Just for that, we’ll go on it more than once. I’m not a chicken.”

“You’d look cute with tail feathers.”

You rolled your eyes and walked with Seungmin towards a ticket booth. Since you planned to spend a few hours here, you both decided it was a better option to get wristbands. Who knew how many rides the two of you’d go on.

After retrieving your wristbands, the two of you headed to the ferris wheel. Since the carnival was in a larger city, the ferris wheel was bigger too. Small colorful enclosed baskets went high up into the setting sun before they curved and came back down.

Soon, the neon lights in the place would be turned on. Seungmin specifically brought you here for that reason. Everything looked better in the evening at carnivals. The neon colors popped and the air was electrified.

When neon colors clashed together with upbeat pop music and laughter from everyone, it was otherworldly. To experience something by yourself and yet everyone was experiencing the same thing around you in their own little bubbles, it was magical and he loved it.

The cabins looked like hot air balloons. The wide tops bulged out with the help of curved titanium rods and the supporting frame. The baby blue frame had been detailed with royal blue shadows to create the illusion of a basket.

Neon lights wrapped around the whole piece and glittered neon blue when the time was right. Other baskets were created similar and with different colors. The whole thing was much larger and more sophisticated than the average county fair ferris wheels with metal bucket seats.

When it was your turn, Seungmin gently led you in front of him and let go of your hand. The attendant held open the small metal gate for you to climb in. Once you were in, Seungmin moved to the opposite side and sat down.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. You lied to Seungmin, you hated heights, but you knew that he liked the ferris wheel. Seungmin liked anything with beautiful detailing and photographic qualities. He was probably going to take photos of the view and upload them to Bubble later.

A round table sat in the center of the two of you. You let your arms rest on it and let out a soft sigh as the two of you were slowly eased up. The soft breeze was enough to catch your hair and pull it back. When Seungmin realized it, he let out a small laugh.

You pulled up your arm and let your chin rest on your hand. Trying to ignore the growing fear, you let your eyes shut. Seungmin pulled out his phone and began to snap photos.

“I think I was wrong about you. It’s clear that you’re not a chicken.”

“I told you,” you mumbled. Your stomach churned and the beginning of nausea was beginning to creep up. You forced yourself to suck in a deep breath and try to calm down.

The ride kept going up and then stopping as more people got on until it finally began going up and didn’t stop. Your eyes squeezed shut tighter and you eventually shifted. Your palms dug into your eyes as you buried your head in your hands.

The movement caused Seungmin to glance over. He frowned and spoke up. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I hate heights,” you mumbled.

“Then why did yo-”

“Because you wanted to see the view and I didn’t want to let you down. You were teasing me and I didn’t want you to think I was a coward.”

“Baby, you know I was just kidding, right? If you would have said something, I wouldn’t have made you go on the ride. I could have gone by myself and gave you some money to go get a snack or something.”

“I don’t want your money!” You snapped. The situation wasn’t such a big deal, but with everything going on in your life recently, you were upset. Things kept going wrong and the pressure gauge was beginning to crank up. How long were you going to keep things to yourself until you blew?

Seungmin stared at you for a moment, unsure of what to do. There was more tension between the two of you. He couldn’t see your face as you hid it with your hands, but he knew you were struggling.

The longer the silence went on, the more he realized he needed to say something. It was clear that you weren’t going to address the elephant between the two of you. Something was going on with you and if he had to, he was going to pry it from you.

He opened his mouth to say something, but a loud creaking sound interrupted. Down below, someone screamed. Your hands jerked from your face and you looked around with wide eyes. The ferris wheel halted with you and Seungmin stuck at the top.

Gears ground together and shouts filled the air. In the middle of your panic, you slipped your hand into Seungmin’s and he squeezed it back lightly. You sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed your eyes shut again.

“What’s going on?” Someone shouted at the ride operator down below.

The ride operator had hit the emergency stop button when things started to go wrong. He cupped his hands together and yelled back, so everyone could hear him.

“I don’t know, but hang tight. Don’t worry, we’ll get it figured out soon enough. You guys might be stuck for a bit.”

Around the wheel, there were a plethora of different responses. Below you, someone complained and another one groaned. Someone else tried to see the positive side of things and complemented the view. Your heart pounded in your chest as you kept hold of Seungmin’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin spoke softly.

All you could do was frantically shake your head back and forth. Seungmin shifted in his spot and the cabin began to rock slightly. Your panic grew until the comforting scent of Seungmin’s cologne filled your nose.

“Don’t worry, I’m right here, I’ve got you.” He wrapped an arm around your neck and tugged you closer. Comforted, you buried your head into the side of his shoulder.

With his other hand, he reached over and gently began to loop his fingers through your hair. The soft gesture always comforted you when you were struggling. You buried your head further into his shoulder, but it wasn’t enough.

You wanted to block the world out and forget this entire thing happened. You wanted to be back on solid ground. You wanted the comfort of your bed. You wanted your heavy limbs to find comfort in the cotton sheets and silk pillowcases.

“Come here.”

You didn’t fight it when he gently pulled your body closer. The way he moved you around, you felt like a small child. His fingers found your hips and he pulled you onto his lap. Your legs straddled his and the table behind you pressed against your back.

Seungmin shifted back and you fell back with him. Your head landed on the curve of his collarbone. His arms wrapped around the small of your back. Despite the horrific scenario, you found yourself being comforted.

“Is that better?”

“Mm-hmm.”

His left hand began to lightly draw patterns on your back. He could feel how tense you were in his arms. You were worked up about everything.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you and I won’t let go.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The breeze picked up and swept your hair off to the side. Seungmin’s head rested back against one of the metal poles. In the distance, birds were happily chirping and unaware of your predicament.

Seungmin was nervous, but he wasn’t outright terrified. He knew the ride operator was trained and the carnival had protocols in place. He knew that they’d know what to do to get them out of the situation safely. Besides, being worked up about it would only add to your stress.

In his chest, your eyes were squeezed shut. You sucked in deep breaths trying to find rhythm in the madness. Your fingers clutched the back of Seungmin’s shirt. After a while, he began to hum, hoping it’d calm you down.

When you began to relax, he let out a sigh of relief. He let his eyes shut and continued to find comfort in you. You were his warmth. You were there for everything for him and he wanted to be there for you too.

“Baby, I think we need to talk about something.”

You shifted your head with your eyes shut. Instead of being buried in his chest, your cheek pressed against it instead. You kept your eyes shut, so you didn’t have to see the staggering view down below.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to ruin our day, but I really think I need to talk to you about some stuff. I know feelings are uncomfortable for you, but over the past few weeks…no,” he shook his head. “It’s been longer than that. I should have brought it up, but you like your independence. I know you find it hard to lean on me.”

A lump began to fill the back of your throat. Despite the closed eyes, you could feel the burn of tears welling up. You thought you were doing a good job, but clearly not. He knew something was wrong.

“I don’t like seeing you suffer alone. You mean everything to me, you know? I’m sorry I don’t say it enough, but I mean it. I’m not good with words, but you make me feel mushy on the inside.”

“Everyone says you’ll come around when you’re ready, but you haven’t. You just slowly keep getting worse and worse. I’m afraid for you, baby. I’m afraid something is seriously wrong and I know how you struggle. You’ll drown silently before you ever reach out for help.”

“It’s partly my fault, I should have brought it up sooner. I just…” He trailed off and squeezed his arms around you tighter. “I’m so afraid of saying the wrong thing and losing you. So please, please tell me what’s on your mind. Maybe I can’t fix it, but you don’t have to do it alone.”

Your breathing hitched as your fingers curled into him tighter. You weren’t sure how to get the words out. You didn’t know how to say it, but you had to try. He was right, you were tired of drowning.

“Do you ever…do you ever just feel like everyone’s against you?” Your voice came out shrill. You tried to swallow to hide it, but it stayed there. “Like no matter what you do, you just can’t win?”

“Sometimes, yes, but I remember all the good in my life and I focus on that. I cherish the little things I have and the relationship I have with the people around me. I have my band, my fans, and my family. Plus, I-”

“They hate me,” you weakly got out.

“Huh?”

“My family.”

Your eyes finally opened to view the scene down below. Your teeth sunk into the soft skin of your bottom lip as you tried not to sob. Below you, friends and families were gathered and laughing.

You could see them now. The mothers on the carousel holding their kids up and making sure they’re okay. The fathers clutching the handles of the rides and screeching in delight as their child giggles beside them.

The sickly sweet artificial taste of bright pink cotton candy melting on the tongue of a three-year-old. Above them, their parents beam and ask how it tastes. It’s the first time they’ve ever had something this sweet before.

On the other side of the carnival, a grandparent is playing skeeball with their grandkid. The two are laughing and the grandparent feels like a kid again. The potential of winning a large prize makes them aim carefully and try their hardest.

A couple is announcing their pregnancy to their parents right before they play mini golf. They’re all so thrilled, the parents are hugging and kissing. The soon to be parents are ecstatic and clutching tightly to each other via hands.

Parents are everywhere. It’s the adopted kid who happily runs and leads his adopted father towards his favorite ride. It’s the stepkids who are warming up to their new stepmother. They’re nervous and looking over at their father for reassurance. He breaks the ice by buying them all lemonade and sprinkled candy apples.

Families and parents were everywhere. Compared to what you went through with yours, this was like a mini trip to hell. You couldn’t help, but feel stung by defeat being here. In front of Seungmin, while admitting this, you felt three inches tall.

Your limbs were weighed down with sadness and melancholy. The scene was beautiful up here and yet, you couldn’t help, but feel blue. The sky was filled with swirls of lavender and citrus oranges. Some god had blown the sky full of confectionary kisses, but you couldn’t focus on it.

There was an ache in your bones and a longing. A longing for a life of love. Being in a romantic relationship didn’t fill the void left behind by parental issues and it never would. You could be in the happiest relationship and the hollowness could still creep up.

Everyone wants to be nurtured and loved. Every kid deserves to be loved, but not every person deserves to be a parent. There are no regulations as to who can be a parent. For some, it’s the best thing to ever happen to them. For others, it’s a life-long burden.

“Am I difficult to love?” You went on. “Is there something wrong with me? I don’t think my mother loves me very much. I thought I meant everything to her, but lately with her actions, she just…” You trailed off, unable to finish. “I just want to be good enough.”

Seungmin’s heart cracked in his chest at your words. The ooze of hurt surrounding you filled the air and it curdled his marrow. You were the love of his life, how could someone not love you?

It was like someone had gotten out the scissors and began to snip through his heartstrings. Every word you uttered, it was another snip and another gust of pain. How could your parents not love you?

“Is that how you feel?”

“I can’t handle it, Seungmin.”

The use of his name and not a pet name was like a slap to the face.

“It’s killing me and I-I can’t deal with it. How do I become someone else?” Tears started to drip down your cheeks. “How do I become better? How can I be a better kid? What am I missing?”

“Do I need to act differently? Do I need to get plastic surgery done, so I can look better? I feel like my mother’s little barbie doll. She controls me, but she doesn’t really love me. I want to be loved. I want to be needed. I want to be wanted, and I-”

Your voice broke off. Seungmin shut his own eyes trying not to cry at your words. He knew you had issues with your family, but he didn’t know it was this bad. You hid everything so well. You kept it from everyone and kept it locked away because that’s what good children did.

Good children shut up about the abuse and neglect they received for the sake of their parents’ image. They uphold the look that their parents have conjured up. They do such a good job, you’d never know.

You’d never realize those bags beneath their eyes are from lack of sleep. You’d never know how much they’ve been screamed at. You wouldn’t know how much they’ve destroyed themselves to keep their parents happy. A child will do anything to please a parent.

On and on it goes until a child breaks. The moment you do, there’s a target on your back. You’re not strong enough, you’re not brave enough, you’re not smart enough, and you’re not good enough. Just wanting their approval, you believe them. How could you not? You just want to make your parents happy.

But bad parents deserve to be outed. It is a privilege to have a child. You are creating the next generation. You have a choice in playing a role in what type of person you want your child to become.

How dare you break them down into bits of self-hatred and disgust when somewhere out there, another mother would kill to have a chance to lift their child up. Someone out there dreams of telling their child that they are precious. Someone strokes the face of a child in their dreams and they will never have it.

“It hurts. It hurts so much and I feel like I can’t do anything right. I can barely eat and I’m either not sleeping or I’m sleeping all the time. I feel like I’m slowly rotting from the inside out. I don’t know how to escape it. It got so bad the other day that I…I…”

The words got stuck in your throat and they wouldn’t come out. It hurt to admit that everything got so bad that you needed some sort of release. Shaken like soda, you were ready to explode. Self-harming had always been a release for you.

It made you feel like you were doing something right. You were punishing yourself for everything you weren’t. For not being good enough. For not being able to endure the pain. For not being strong enough. For being unloveable.

Your blood was tainted with sadness. It oozed out bright red and all you could do was watch with a sigh of relief. For once, you were finally doing something right when everything else seemed to be wrong.

You didn’t have to finish the sentence, but Seungmin knew. His arms tightened around you and he pulled your body towards him even more. He wanted to take it all away. He’d embody this sadness and soak it up like a sponge if he could.

Your breathing grew ragged as you tried not to cry. You were outside, but there were people below you on either side. If you started to sob, you knew you’d gain their attention. Plus, it might stress out the ride operator down below.

“Hey, hey, hey, shhh.” Seungmin’s hand comfortingly rubbed your back. “It’s alright, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Your voice tightened again, “I just want to be loved.”

“And loved, you are. It seems like I need to do a better job at showing you that because you don’t feel like it. You mean everything to me and I’m sorry your parents are that way.”

“You’ve grown up and turned into such a wonderful person. It’s shitty that they can’t see that. Despite everything, you have turned out amazing. You have a golden heart. You’re precious on the inside and out.”

“Do you really think that I’d fall in love with just anyone?” He continued. “I’m so picky with who I date that Lee Know believed I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life and then I met you.”

“I’m a burden.”

“If you mean making me stutter like an idiot and making my heart flutter, then yeah, you’re a burden. You’re a burden when you send me those goofy selfies and make me blush so hard that I can’t help, but smile because you look cute.”

“You’re such a burden because every time you text me during rehearsals, I blush and look like an idiot in front of my band members. Do you know how many times I’ve been teased by the old man?”

You sniffled.

“Every time he teases me, I tell him that it must be hard for him. Not a single person has looked his way. Why do you think he’s always flirting with the fans on Bubble? He’s like a dog in heat. When he’s horny, everyone knows about it.”

The sudden confession made you snort. Seungmin smiled and kept talking. “You’re my pride and joy. You know how you have your photocards of me in your wallet? Yeah, well, I made some of you.”

“Really?”

“Duh! I’ve gotta be ready to show off my significant other at all times. I could talk about you for hours. You know what?”

“What?”

“You’ve got me so smitten that I asked Hyunjin for date recommendations. You know how he’s the romantic one? Yeah, I caved. You’ve got me wrapped around your little fingers.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm.”

You sat up with teary eyes and another sniffle. Seungmin stared at you and gently brushed his thumbs beneath your eyes. “Oof.” His face scrunched up. “Crying doesn’t look the best on you.”

You ignored his teasing comment. “And what did Hyunjin say? What was his suggestion?” You reached up with your palms and rubbed the wet tears away.

“Look at me.”

You pulled your hands away and glanced up at him. You didn’t have time to react as he cupped your face. Before you knew it, he tilted his head and connected your lips.

Up above the world, the two of you shared a soft kiss. Your lips were seeped in salt from your tears, but he didn’t care. All your previous negative thoughts began to fall away.

So wrapped up in everything, you forgot about the person who meant the most to you. You forgot about the joy he brought. You forgot how he seemed to melt away every bad thought and warm your heart. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he tugged your hips closer.

“I got it!” A voice called from down below. There was a creak and the ride began to boot up. Around the two of you, there was a faint hum and the neon blue bulbs around your basket tinkered to life.

You pulled away from Seungmin wide-eyed and breathless. The two of you glanced around and the ride began to descend. Seungmin’s arms stayed wrapped around your waist.

“We’re going down?”

“We’re going down,” he echoed.

“Thank, fuck.”

He leaned back when you let your chin drop to his shoulder. Your arms wrapped around his back and you let out a final sigh of relief. His hands found your back.

“I know I’m not perfect and I won’t be able to give you what your parents couldn’t. I just hope you realize how good you are and how much you mean to me. Your parents are assholes and you deserve the entire world. I’d do anything for you.”

“I just wish things were better with them.”

“I know. The next time you feel like hurting yourself, please talk to me. I don’t want you to feel like that ever again. Even if you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll make an exception and let you cuddle me.”

“Really?” You pulled away from him with bright eyes and a smile. He nodded with a fluttering heart. You looked good with a smile.

“Um…” Your smile fell. “I’m sorry for ruining our date. That was a lot and I-”

“No worries, it’s okay. I’m glad we got to talk about it. You know how I said crying doesn’t look good on you? Your best look is the one where you’re smiling.”

“What if I was wearing something ugly?”

“Doesn’t matter, the smile brings it together.”

“You’re being cheesy now.”

“Hyunjin said being cheesy was good.”

“You should stop getting dating advice from Hyunjin. I don’t want to date him, I want to date you. We should just do whatever you want to do.”

“I’m so sorry this happened. Please forgive me!” The ride operator was incredibly apologetic as he opened the small metal gate. “Were you crying? I’m sorry!”

“It’s alright,” you smiled at him and shifted off of Seungmin.

The two of you left the basket and you were happy to finally be back on the ground. Seungmin linked his hand through yours and shook his head. “You’re right, I’m never listening to Hyunjin ever again.”

“What do you want to do then?”

“I want to go get us our favorite slushies. Try not to cry and season yours with your tears. I highly doubt salty slushies taste good and I’m not buying you another one.”

“Touché.”

He led you through a path of people and towards a slushie stand. As you passed a stand with fried food, your stomach loudly rumbled. Your cheeks went bright red as you mumbled an apology. You hadn’t eaten in so long that your hunger was finally starting to come back. You felt a million times better after the conversation with Seungmin.

“Scratch that, we’ll get food and then we’ll get slushies. I bet I can eat more fried food than you.”

“No way!”

Seungmin smirked, “then prove it.”

“I will!” You stuck your tongue out at him.

Seungmin instantly jerked his hand up and gently pinched the tip of it. You pulled away and gagged. “Ew! Gross! You’ve got cooties!”

“And now you’re infected too. Boo-hoo. Whatever shall you do now?”

“Another kiss?”

“Only because I feel bad for you. My kisses are rare, you know? My lips could warm the arctic if I traveled there.”

“I hope you never read any of Hyunjin’s poetry again.”

“Just for that, I’m telling Chan you want to call him grandpa from now on. Since you need a new family, he can be the first one to test it out on. Just wait until he hears about this. You’re never going to hear the end of it. I’m texting the group chat and maybe you can call Lee Know ‘kitten’ or something.”

“Seungmin, no!”

“Last I checked, I was your baby.”

“Baby, no!”

He grinned and took off into the crowd. You screeched and sprinted off after him. He pulled out his phone and dodged and weaved. You yelled after him, not caring that people were staring at the two of you.

As you flew by an elderly couple, the pair watched you dart down the path. The woman laughed as she squeezed her lover’s hand. “I remember how those days were.”

“We were just two young kids in love. I’m glad that it’s still playful and timeless as ever. I can’t remember the last time I ran that fast.”

“Me neither. I treasure those memories a lot. We might not be able to run, but we sure can fly. I’ve heard they're letting adults ride on the carousel. Want to give it a shot for old times sake?”

“Of course I do, darling. If it’s with you, absolutely. I’ve said it years ago and I’ll say it again, I’d do anything for you.”

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|

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lieslab · 13 days

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Tw : Sh / cutting / toxic mother

Hello, how are you doing ? I already requested two fics on your account, one of them is “star lost” which I love so much ( star lost is one of my favorite skz song ).

Recently, I haven’t really been doing great. I’ve just spent time in my bed barely being able to eat and to take care of myself. I’ve relapsed after 4 months and one day of being clean after realizing that my mom is controlling me more than loving me. And my dad… he’s a story for another time. I feel like my situation is both special and sadly very common. Could you write something comforting with Seungmin ? I like his personality and I think is really underrated. Thank you for your hard work and your time, and I if it’s to triggering or you don’t want to write it, feel free to ignore this text. Thank you 💕

Hi, darling. I loved writing star lost!! It's one of my favorites and I'm glad I accidentally named it after your favorite song. I'm really sorry life is beating you down. It can be really rough out here sometimes.

That feeling you're describing of being stuck in bed, ugh, it's the worst thing in the entire world. I wouldn't wish that feeling upon my worst enemy. Self-harm can be really difficult and I know it sucks to relapse. When I used to struggle with self-harm, I remember how worthless I felt when I relapsed. Life is hard and sometimes that feels like the only thing that can help with the pain.

I'm really sorry your mom is like that. Being kept under the thumb of a controlling parent is rough. I don't know the situation and it seems complex. Please remember that you are allowed to be your own person. I know it seems difficult, but I hope you know how important your existence is.

Sometimes parents forget how important their children's mental health is. Sometimes they get too caught up in their own thoughts and feelings and sometimes they never cared much from the start. I really hope you have someone you can turn to and talk about it or have some sort of emotional release for it that isn't just self-harming.

Parental issues are rough when you just want love. You deserve to be loved for who you are. You're not a clone of a parent, you're not meant to be a puppet, you're meant to be you. Please try to eat something. I know it's difficult when you feel so miserable, but not eating makes the feeling of worthlessness worse. Even if it's a granola bar or a protein shake. Maybe it's washed fruit or even something smaller like a cheese stick. Don't forget to have a bit of water here and there too.

Sometimes when I'm down, I like to imagine that I'm a plant. It sounds pretty silly, but flowers cannot bloom without nutrients, water, and sunshine. I remind myself that it works the same way for humans. Our bodies struggle without them.

I don't mean actual sunshine (unless you prefer that) I mean the warmth and tenderness and care from the people we love. Even if it's our favorite k-pop idols or another celebrity. Sometimes it helps to watch videos to cheer ourselves up and use a bit of escapism to get through the day.

I'm sorry I'm responding to this like a day later than you submitted this. I saw it yesterday and the gears in my brain started to turn. I instantly pulled up a brand new Google doc and began to write off and on for a few hours. By the time I finished, it was so late.

Unfortunately, this is common and ugh. I wish I could give you the parents you deserve, darling. You deserve the best. I know how much it really sucks to have shitty parents. I'm twenty-one and there's still days I struggle with it. It's hard to go on when you feel like you missed out on so much. It's even harder when people you know have good parents.

As for Seungmin, he is underrated. I love his sharp wit and playfulness. He's a treasure and I love him. Since I have everything written and edited, give me a few minutes to create the post after I post this, and it should be up. I hope you enjoy it <3

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lieslab · 15 days

Text

The depths between: Chapter two

Trigger warning: Brief mention of blood and gun violence.

Chapter one

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Nature vs nurture is a controversial topic to some. When it comes to human beings, is it embedded in our genetics? Are we victims of our own DNA? Are we like this by nature or are we nurtured to be this way?

Does every serial killer have cold-blood? When they pop out of their mother’s wombs, was the story already prewritten or is it the people around them that make them that way? Does the bitter father and the emotional mother play too much of a role?

Which one is the truth? It’s a topic that’s been debated for years. It’s either one dominant force or the other or maybe, just maybe, it’s both. Maybe we act the way we do partly from genetics and partly from the environment we’re raised in.

Perhaps, it’s the people we call parents. The friends we surround ourselves with; the good ones and the bad ones. Maybe it’s the step-parent who tends to treat you harsher than their biological children. That one teacher who tended to go after you when you were just a defenseless kid.

For Hwang Hyunjin, the picture was blurred. He wasn’t sure what made him turn out the way he did. Over the years and into puberty, something seemed to change inside of him. Maybe it was just the teenage angst that he never outgrew.

The pessimism that started as a mustard seed until it grew and grew and grew. Eventually, the optimism faded away until it was nothing, but microscopic dust particles. He could attempt to reach out and grab it, but they slipped through his fingers.

The truth is that you get to pick the kind of person you want to be. If we push aside the thoughts and opinions of others. If we pretend like those parental comments and snide remarks from bullies don’t hurt, you can be whoever you wish.

Once you break free from the gravity of others, you become weightless. You are your own person, your own brain, and your own actions. You have the power to do whatever your heart desires.

Growing up, there was only one thing that interested Hwang Hyunjin and that was pirates. It was probably a way to fulfill the void of missing family. The idea of being in the deep ocean blue with a group of people who wanted the same things as you.

In the ocean, it’s sink or swim. You either learn to live with the people on their ship or they’ll throw you overboard without a moment of hesitation. There are no rules when you’re living the life of a criminal and very few morals.

The thing about pirates? It’s incredibly hard to find them. Nobody walks around with their spine straightened and chin up proudly announcing that they commit crimes on the open sea. In most places, it’d get you a free ticket to jail.

Hyunjin had to go look for those people himself. He learned everything he could about boats. He learned the positions and he learned about the wind. He learned about sailor’s lore and deep sea stories.

He spent his days researching in the library and taking notes. He sang sea shanties and earned his keep. At least, he did in his head. In his head, he’d be the best pirate that there’d ever be.

You want to know the truth about pirates? They’re fueled by greed. On quick ships with trustworthy crews, they don’t take boasts hostage for the fun of it. They’re there to do a job and they’ll do whatever it takes to complete a damn good job.

Hyunjin knew what he was doing when he booked a sketchy boat ride through a dangerous part of the ocean. He knew the waves were high and there was a chance pirates would attack, but he couldn’t help it. Some part of him wanted to experience it. He wanted to feel the rush and adrenaline of it all.

Pirates don’t have time to make friends with strangers. They don’t have time to talk to you either. They’re there for one thing most of the time. They just want whatever you have that’ll be valuable to them.

It was a miracle when his small ship, with seven other people, got attacked. Hyunjin laughed in the beginning. It worked out exactly how he wanted it to. At least, it did until one of the pirates pulled out a gun.

He didn’t remember what happened much after that. Beside him, the captain’s head blew into thousands of tiny pieces. He could still remember the sticky bits of brain that coated his face.

He remembered the metallic taste of blood that landed in his open mouth. He remembered it all and he remembered everything. The screams came and then he finally felt the single thing that he hadn’t been prepared for; the fear.

The last thing he remembered was diving. He jumped directly into the ocean and disappeared beneath the waves. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing, but he couldn’t let them kill him.

Anger began to bestow in his veins. It ran hot through his temple and bubbled in his gut. He couldn’t believe something like this happened to them. He knew pirates could be mean, but he wasn’t expecting ruthless cruelty.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been beneath the blue waves when he began to swim back to the surface. At least, he tried to swim. When his body wasn’t moving, he began to panic.

The rope of the anchor was wrapped around his foot. He must have brushed up against it and kicked without realizing what was going on. Once he noticed the tangled rope around his ankle, the pain began immediately.

The sharp sting of the rope fibers cut into his ankle. Clenching his teeth, he moved backwards and attempted to free his ankle. The more he moved, the more energy he used.

Soon enough, he couldn’t breathe. His fingers fumbled at the rope blindly. He needed to get a breath of fresh air and he needed to get one soon. His fingers jerked at the water, in an attempt to free him, but he was stuck.

When you’re taken by the water, you’re either good or evil. When Hyunjin’s eyes rolled back into his head and his body began to free fall, his anger went dormant. Without a conscience, there was nothing to be afraid of.

Down, down, down his body fell until his limbs hung limply. The taught rope kept him from floating too far away from the bottom of the boat. Luscious black locks ebbed back and forth beneath the waves.

Curious small fish began to swim through the gaps between his fingers. Their scaly bodies moved swiftly and their teeth gently nibbled. The tiny teeth weren’t much when it came to water-logged skin.

The longer he stayed beneath the waves, the more his fingertips puckered with pruning. On the boat, the pirates took their fair share of belongings before they climbed back onto their own boat and drifted away.

Sharks in the area were on the prowl. The sharp scent of blood was addicting and a high that even the weakest shark couldn’t resist. One bite of flesh and the bloom of perfumed blood, it was rare for them.

The ocean was so big and vast. Sharks didn’t stay in one place. They swam wherever they pleased and some stayed further in the depths. If you were to munch on a human, you had to be in the right place at the right time.

One moment, a shark was heading full speed ahead towards Hyunjin’s body. Jagged and razor sharp teeth grinned as the large being gunned him down. Before he could get there, Hyunjin’s body began to transform.

Nobody understood the exact science behind it. One moment you were a corpse and the next, your body began to change. Gills carved into the side of your ribs. Invisible claws cut you open and you began to change.

Hyunjin’s legs bound together and began to morph. The skin of his calves constricted tighter and tighter against each other until the skin began to burst. The soft skin jutted out and poked into tiny hardened pieces of fish scales.

Soft popping filled the surrounding area beneath the water. It sounded a lot like the faint popping of popcorn. His precious toned legs would never walk on the land again. Being a siren is nothing, but a curse.

Realizing what was happening, the shark halted and spun around instantly. Dark sirens were the deadliest creatures of the sea. Too many larger aquatic animals had been defeated.

Over time, adaptation and evolution cause you to change. Sharks stopped fucking with dark sirens the moment dark sirens began putting their claws and teeth to good use. The stinging sensation of being carved open and ripped apart, bleeding out via your own bloody mist, was unforgettable. Not only for them, but for the creatures who happened to be in attendance as well.

When Hyunjin sucked in a breath, he realized everything was wrong. He attempted to kick his legs, but to his surprise, they were band together. His hands jerked against the water and that’s when he found the thin bands of webbing padded between each finger.

When he found the long pitch black tail, he thought he lost it. He must have been out of his mind to imagine such a thing. The movement of it came to him naturally. The thin pointed webbing helped him slice through the water like butter.

By the time he resurfaced, it took him a moment to switch his breathing from the gills to his nose. The sensation was strange and unfamiliar. There was an itch in the back of his throat and a burn around the gills. Would he ever get used to the salt water against them?

The metal hull of the ship stared back at him. It was still rather sunny outside when he popped up. Droplets of water fell down his neck and along his chest. He remained in the plain black shirt he was wearing when he died.

His reflection was an entirely different story. The once normal human teeth became sharper. The two front teeth tapered off into two sharp points and the other teeth followed suit. He ran his tongue along them to confirm the sharpness.

That’s when he realized his eyes were pitch black. The russet brown had deepend to charcoal. The color spread out and seeped into the rest of his eyes. The bright white scleras darkened to black. He could see perfectly, but it still looked unnatural.

Questions surrounded him, but they were never answered. He gripped the fishing boat and attempted to pull himself inside. His arm muscles strained until he toppled over the edge. He wasn’t used to the new dead weight of his lower body.

His tail thwacked right into a puddle of warm blood. He gagged at the sight and glanced around. The bodies of the people he was on the boat with were spewed in every direction. Faces were frozen in shock and fear. Limbs sprawled out in unnatural contorted angles. Everyone was attempting to get away when they were gunned down.

The anger inside of Hyunjin began to grow. The people he idolized, the pirates, it turned out that they were nothing, but monsters. A crew of misfits who did nothing, but took and destroyed because there’s no law in the water.

As the blood began to dry along Hyunjin’s arms, he vowed revenge. With sharpened teeth and a snarl, he dived overboard and back into the water. The sharp waving motion projected his body forward.

He took off with hatred brewing in his heart. It wasn’t the first time he’d choose hate over love. Once you pick hate, there’s no going back. Dark sirens will never be pure again. Cursed from their human death onward, they’re like this until they’re destroyed.

It’s rare, but it does happen. Every siren can be killed if you try hard enough. There is no heaven and there is no hell. What happens to a dead siren? They turn into foam; sea foam, ocean foam, whatever you want to call it. The soft white murkiness in the waves that brush against your bare feet.

After all, sea foam is just the decomposition of organic ocean materials. And the souls? The ocean is a mystery and has many secrets. Some of which, you’re not supposed to know and you won’t know.

You’ll never know because some things are meant to stay hidden beneath the waves.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Next part: Coming soon

Taglist: @ilovetocas1 @vvislici0us @fr34k4c1dr41n @hamburgers101 @juskz @x-0ophelia0-x @viviworkshere

If you would like to be placed on the taglist for new chapters, feel free to comment below.

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#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids drabbles #skz fanfic #stray kids au #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix x you #stay #hwang hyunjin

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lieslab · 17 days

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WHO IS YOUR BIAS WRECKER??!??! MINE IS FELIX!!!

-🥭 anon

Oh, that's a good one. Um...that's a great question honestly. I feel like my answer changes all the time. Lately, Lee Know keeps pulling me towards him, but I also like Han and please don't make me choose, I'll cry. Can't I just like all of them? They're great.

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lieslab · 18 days

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when did u start writing? what inspired it?

Oh geez, you're really going to make me have to use my brain. I started to write occasionally when I was like ten and over the years, it escalated. I started to take it more seriously when I got into high school and then last year, I started to write fanfiction just for something to do. I was writing original stuff before that, but it wasn't the best. I struggled with a lot of things.

What inspired it? One Direction and no I'm not kidding. Some of the very first things I wrote were One Direction fanfics that I still have physical copies of. They were so incredibly bad, but they make me laugh now.

Besides that, there was a point in an English class where I wrote a short story and it was voted by my peers as the best in the class. I got such a high from that and that feeling of validation has always stuck with me. I liked being able to make people feel things.

I've never been very good when it comes to verbally speaking. I tend to trail off and get distracted easily. Growing up, I was one of the quiet kids. I work better in my head and writing is perfect for that. I can type whatever I wish without trying to find the energy to explain it out loud without sounding idiotic.

I can organize my thoughts better by writing them. I'm able to take my time and I don't have to spit things out on the spot. I'd say I'm a slower paced person, so I need time to digest information and process it.

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lieslab · 18 days

Text

The depths between: Chapter one

Trigger warning: Brief mention of vomiting and alcohol consumption.

Prologue

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

It all started with a dare. Your whole life, you were never one to turn down dares. You were competitive and you’d do anything to win one. Those decisions were stupid and over the years, the dares grew more and more risky.

You kept your streak for four years; four years of stupid and petty dares. One of your worst attributes was your greed. There was nothing that was off limits for you. You worked your ass off and then bought things you didn’t need.

That fancy new plate set that just came out by a celebrity? You bought it for your apartment. The overpriced candles that smelled really good? You didn’t bat an eye as you put three in your cart. The new shirt that celebrities spent a pretty penny on? Desperate to fit into the trends, you bought it too.

Spending money was a blessing and a curse. On one end, it was thrilling and it was fun. You loved the brief high you got off purchasing more and more items. The curse? You didn’t like spending your money on the things you actually needed.

You learned it the hard way after your landlord suggested you get renter’s insurance for your new place. You? You waved her off and laughed. You didn’t need renter’s insurance to insure all your goods.

That mistake came back around and bit you in the ass. One moment you were sitting in your office and writing an email to your manager. The next, you were being called by your landlord and being told your apartment was gone.

Something in another complex sparked and that was the end of that. Your technology? Gone. Those new pans? Destroyed. The clothes? Turned into ashes and sprinkled somewhere between here and the next town over, due to strong winds.

It destroyed you and then came the dare from your friend. Restart your life, take a breather and try something else. When they suggested a cruise ship, you laughed out loud. It seemed so dumb, considering you didn’t live anywhere near a cruise ship line, but they insisted.

Eventually, you did some research and one website led down a rabbit hole. The next thing you knew, you were applying for the nearest cruise line near you. You heard back a week later and then it was decided.

That was almost a year ago now. You thought it’d only be a temporary thing, but then one contract turned into a longer one. For the past eight months, the ocean was your home. Sure, your hours were long, but you enjoyed it.

There were a variety of different types of people and conversations came easy to you. You were a little timid at first, but then everything seemed to work out bit by bit. You took it day-by-day.

You traveled across gentle waves and rockier ones. You survived severe storms and the first week of sea sickness dissipated as you slowly got used to the boat rocking beneath you. Everything was perfect and you were an excellent worker. Not even there for a year yet, you managed to move up two ranks to higher paying jobs.

Late at night, there was a single rule that staff and guests were supposed to follow. Ever since a worker went over the side of the boat, after getting drunk at his birthday party, the CEO made a new rule. Nobody was allowed to go on the upper deck after it got dark out unless you were part of the captain’s crew.

If you needed fresh air, you’d have to wait until daybreak. From ten at night to six in the morning, the upper deck was silent, besides the occasional look around from the captain’s crew.

Being a worker on the inside, you knew the schedules of the captain crew. You knew when they took their sweeps and went out and scanned for boats. Despite living on the ocean, enemies were still out there.

Through training, you had to sit through videos about potential pirate attacks. It was something that you weren’t expecting. You thought pirates were fictional movie characters. It turns out there was quite a bit of ocean knowledge you were missing out on.

It was two in the morning on top of the deck. You were standing just out of the way of a door that led outside. If anyone walked by the glass door, they wouldn’t be able to spot you and lecture you. The last thing you needed was to be gabbed at by some snotty coworker.

Most of them were pretty decent people, but even in the middle of the ocean, there was a fair share of assholes. On the deck, you rocked your khakis and light blue polo shirt. Your golden name tag sat to the left of your sternum.

The salt-brined air was refreshing for your lungs. After a long day of standing and rushing around, you just needed some time to unwind. Out here, you only existed with the ocean.

Down below, the water gently lapped against the sides of the iron hull. There were a couple hundred people on this ship. Most of them were inside and probably asleep. A few others were taking advantage of the twenty-four hour bar that was open seven days a week.

It was the one thing you absolutely hated. The bartender struggled to cut people off. People were loud as they went back to their cabins. You dealt with a fair share of complaints from other voyagers.

One night, a mixture of multiple fruity cocktails and vodka shots spewed out and landed on your chest. Apparently, the perpetrator was a young girl, who just recently graduated college, and she booked a cruise to celebrate. You still weren’t over the lingering disgusting feeling of warm stomach-acid washing soaking into your cotton shirt and hitting your skin.

You shivered at the memory and shut your eyes trying to get it to fade away. Outside, it was warmer than you expected it to be. Despite it being winter, the cruise ship traveled closer to the equator to discover and tread through warmer waters.

You were used to snow and ice at the beginning of the year. Gray skies with a chance of a rare (if you were lucky) glimpse of sunshine. The sun felt like a mockery in the winter. It was out, but little warmth was supplied.

A faint ghostly gleam was cast by the moon. It lit up just enough for you to catch a faint glimpse of the water below. The water was pitch black and there was nothing you could do if you fell in. Falling overboard in the darkness was a death sentence, you were sure of it.

That’s why you stayed far away from the rails and back towards the stern. By doing this, you were out of sight at the front. The captain and his crew wouldn’t catch a glimpse of you. Before they made their rounds, you dipped back inside and relocked the glass door you came through.

Your body fell back against the side of the wall. Naturally, your arms crossed over one another and you let yourself breathe. Today had been a pretty rough day due to being yelled at by a few different passengers. Things weren’t working out and somehow, that meant that it was your fault.

Somehow, someone ended up plugging a toilet. The clog was apparently being fixed by one of the janitors. At least, it was until a pipe burst. The toilet started to spray water all over the women’s restroom.

By sheer luck, you were passing by and on your way to go back to your original job from your break. Passengers panicked and screamed. Picking up on the terror, a few kids in the area began to cry and asked if everyone was going to die. When the older kids began to joke about a second Titanic, people began to lecture them for being insensitive.

The entire time, you were clueless. This was one of the things that was out of your realm of knowledge. In a panic, you dashed away to get your boss. You left the janitor suffering and trying to get the water to stop spewing from the toilet. It was a total nightmare.

To make it worse, the bathrooms weren’t too far from the gym. You were tasked to remove everyone from the gym to close it. People were pissed when you cleared your throat and politely asked them to leave.

Your day ended with insults and then the incredulous task of helping the janitor mop up toilet water. What a day it had been, truly. You couldn’t wait to get back to your room, shower, and go to sleep.

However, the salty air called to you. These trips out into the dark were like being baptized. It was otherworldly at this time. A dark void, the pale moonlight, and just your thoughts. It was refreshing and purifying.

You knew you shouldn’t have started the habit, but you couldn’t help it. There were so many people on the cruise. There were only certain times when you felt that you were truly alone. This peaked up at number one.

You walked further to the back of the boat. You weren’t sure if it was true or not, but you heard a passenger earlier discussing jellyfish. Apparently, jellyfish may follow the ship and light up the water due to their bioluminescence.

It was one of the main reasons you took this job. You always had a fascination for the ocean. Your friend pointed it out to you before you brushed them off. This was a great way to be able to see marine life in person.

Beneath you, you were surrounded by sharks and whales. Fish that were no larger than your pointer finger and fish that were large enough that you needed two hands to haul them aboard.

Jellyfish, seals, octopus, dolphins, squids, eels, and isopods. You could go on and on about marine life. It was something that had captivated your attention since you were a kid.

You were halfway to the stern when your feet went still. You didn’t know where it was coming from, but it had you hooked. The soft silky voice filled your ears and drowned everything else out.

The once eager and excited thoughts about the jellyfish drifted away. Your feet moved automatically towards the stern. The hair on the back of your neck crept up, but you couldn’t stop.

You wanted to figure out where the voice was coming from. You needed to figure out where it drifted from. All you could think about was how pleasant it was. It was so angelic.

You moved further with your arms outstretched. Down below, the void was without the brightened illumination of bright colored jellyfish. The air was saltier as your fingers gripped the rails that wrapped around the boat.

You couldn’t register what was happening. Your brain oozed into jello. You hoisted yourself up and lifted your foot up another rail. Down below, you’d be caught by the dark waters. Nobody aboard would realize what happened until it was too late.

The voice continued to captivate you. The deadly lullaby came from quite a few feet away. Hyunjin’s head poked out of the water and watched your outline climb higher and higher.

Amusement began to spark inside of him as you climbed further up. Once you fell into the water below, it’d be too late for you. Nobody to capture you and nobody to save you. You’d be his and his alone.

Only about two rails from throwing yourself overboard, there was suddenly a loud splash. A garbled yelp was muted by the water. The singing was cut off and it ceased immediately.

Your eyes found the water and the mask of haze was ripped off. You were up on the metal rails facing death. You screeched and jerked yourself backwards. Your body free fell until you slammed hard into the wooden deck.

The air was ejected from your lungs and you couldn’t breathe for a few moments. Once you sucked in a mouthful of salted oxygen, you scrambled up and took off. Your sneakers pounded along the floor.

You weren’t sure what just happened and it scared you. One moment, you were thinking about jellyfish. The next, you were nearly tossing yourself overboard. You didn’t remember walking across the ship and you certainly didn’t remember climbing up the rails.

Rushing back to the safety of the interior, you stumbled inside. Behind you, you jerked the glass door shut and placed the key inside the knob. Once it was locked, you took shaky steps back and glanced outside.

Nothing had changed and there was nobody there. You were all alone besides the sound of your own heavy breathing. Your eyes squeezed shut and you sucked in a deep breath. Only one thought could circle your brain over and over again.

What the hell had just happened?

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Next part: Chapter two

Taglist: @ilovetocas1 @vvislici0us @fr34k4c1dr41n @hamburgers101 @juskz @x-0ophelia0-x @viviworkshere

If you would like to be placed on the taglist for new chapters, feel free to comment below.

Masterlist

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#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids drabbles #skz fanfic #stray kids au #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix x you #stay #hwang hyunjin

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lieslab · 20 days

Note

could i too be added to the depths between tag list as well? i've read the intro and prologue and really liked it~

thank you so much if you add me o(≧v≦)o

Of course, I can add you. There's always room for one more!!

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lieslab · 21 days

Text

The depths between: Prologue

Trigger warning: Reckless alcohol consumption and drowning.

Intro

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

The ocean isn’t much different from the land. Predators and prey all share the same space. The intelligent creatures overpower the smaller ones. The plankton is consumed by krill. Putting up little resistance, the krill is consumed via squid.

There’s a filling snack of squid for the seals. The seals and sea lions are left alone for the larger sharks and whales. Some of them can be swallowed whole. There’s no forgiveness in the vortex created by whales sucking in and swallowing large amounts of water.

The treacherous dark waters demand your caution. You’re either predator or prey. Even if you’re a human, you’re not immune to the murky depths of vast nothingness. There are things down there that humans have yet to fully understand.

Thousands of feet below, there are creatures just out of reach. Some stay closer to the sunlight and others trail the murky darkness. Don’t ask how they find their way, it’s one of the many mysteries of evolution.

They say that there are two types of humans. Good and evil tend to go hand and hand. You’re one or the other; there is no other choice. Are you full of resentment and wicked bitterness? Perhaps your blood is filled with something lighter and softer, something sickly sweet and pure.

The concept of sirens isn’t much different. In the world of sirens, there’s good sirens and there are evil sirens. One cannot live without the other. Year after year after year, the siren world keeps growing.

There are secrets hidden out of human sight. Things far beyond the realm of our understanding. At the top of the food chain, there are still things we should leave alone. There are things that aren’t quite right.

There’s a reason why survivors in horror movies are the ones who don’t go searching. The ones who think intellectually and choose logic over basic curiosity. Curiosity has the potential to kill the cat.

Go exploring and you might unearth something far out of grasp. You might find something that changes your life forever. If you’re not careful enough, it can and it will kill you without any hesitation.

_ _ _

In the beginning, there was a deep darkness. You couldn’t see your hands in front of you. The whole earth was nothing, but a void, then came the existence of light.

The humans bicker about the origins of earth. The creation of everything is constantly up for debate. It doesn’t matter what you believe because you’re here, aren’t you? You are here and the truth is that nobody knows. Nobody knows and that terrified people, so they came up with answers. They call those answers faith and to strengthen that faith, they created religion.

Since the beginning of whatever you believe, there’s one consistent theme; stories have been around since the origin. Parents pass them onto their kids and then their grandkids. Grandkids dish it out to their kids and their grandkids. Over and over again, the cycle repeats.

Lee Felix knew about stories. He remembered learning about God and good and evil. To be good guaranteed your place in heaven. All you needed was some faith, a clear conscience, and a dash of kindness.

He lived by the golden rule; treat others as you want to be treated. As a young man, he secured himself a job on a cruise ship. He loved that job more than life itself.

He liked making small talk with the guests. Some were more kind than others. As the days passed by, he collected more and more stories from people. Stories from younger couples with newborns. Stories from grandparents who appeared on the cruises with their entire families. There were the tales of singles hoping to find a summer fling.

There was something so joyous and vibrant about all of it. On the massive cruise ship, it was easy to forget that the vessel was floating on water. For months, Felix walked the upper deck and checked upon passengers down below.

He went wherever management told him to. Some days he found himself cleaning restrooms and other days, he helped out down in the kitchen. Every few days, there was always something new to do.

Along his time there, he got to know quite a bit of the crew and a variety of the guests. Since he worked there, he had his own room. Workers were granted the same things as first class passengers.

One of those things? Free unlimited alcoholic drinks. Not everyone could hold their liquor on the cruise ship. Perhaps it was a poor choice on behalf of the management, but it didn’t matter. It was already set in stone, everything was already done.

When Felix’s birthday came around, some of his favorite co-workers celebrated his birthday together. They shooed away the last guest and closed up the bar. After Felix’s first drink, things got hazy.

He knows that someone brought out a cake. He faintly remembers the artificial taste of chocolate. Everything was going great; people were laughing, alcohol was flowing, candles had been blown out and smoke lazily drifted into the air.

Then came the party games. Nobody is in their right mind after countless shots. Cheers of joy and chugging the bitter taste of alcohol. He remembered the stinging sensation that crept up his throat and the burn that followed.

The rest were muted voices and swirls of color. A bit of confusion here and there. The bright bar lights tilted and he couldn’t keep his balance. He stumbled, but nothing kept him upright. He was light as a feather and then there was darkness.

He stumbled back, his back pressed into a rail, and then he fell. Down, down, down, into the warm waters below. Too drunk to understand what happened, he went beneath the waves.

The salt water burned his nasal canal and then it filled his lungs. His arm shot out and brushed against something scaly. He shrieked silently. His voice blubbered and blew bubbles towards the surface.

He squirmed weightless beneath the water, but it was just a void. No air to breathe and no light to see. Nobody to hear your screams, no person to depend on for help, not a single soul to save you.

The warm water filled his lungs. The burning sensation was so raw that it struck something primal deep inside of him. His head dipped back and his fingers grasped nothingness, trying to find something to stop his descent into the dark waters below.

The feeling was intense and it didn’t fade. The burning and the choking, the coughing and the sputtering. In his woozy thoughts, all he could think about was oxygen, but it never came. Instead, his body sank further and further into the darkness.

Like the thousands before him, the clock struck out. There was too much water and not enough air. Humans aren’t equipped for billions of gallons of water. The darkened world stopped and so did his breathing.

The whites of his eyes rolled back into his head. Long dark lashes closed for a final time. The frantic movements and sloshing around him went still. Down, down, down he free fell.

The ocean swallowed his body whole. Another victim of the tides and another murder beneath the waves. Life is a tricky and funny thing. You can be a saint in this life, but death does not care.

When your time is up, it is up. There is no forgiveness and no mercy. Your soul is sucked out and a hollowed shell is left behind. Where does it go? Nobody truly knows. Faith doesn’t save everyone from the unknown.

Sometimes miracles happen, but unfortunately for Lee Felix, tragedy struck instead.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Next part: Chapter one

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