lilithsmom

[lilithsmom]

[lilithsmom]

Okay here’s some thoughts since I can’t post my photo catch-up with some pictures for this weekend’s sunflower field trip.

I realized I missed the anniversary of Bean’s adoption. It was August 2nd. I usually do some little post but lately life with her has been a bit of a nightmare so posting would feel inauthentic. She screams at me more than she used to. She’s obsessed with water. Sometimes it genuinely feels like she’s a warden and I’m the prisoner. Which sounds insane because she’s a 17 year old cat. And the immense guilt I feel over feeling this way hits me every time like I’m an awful person and I don’t deserve to ever have any pet because how can I feel this way and want more pets in the future, or even kids. The kids one I worry about a lot. I don’t know if I can handle it.

I got an Apple Watch. So that’s cool. I like it so far. I guess there’s not much to say about that

Everything feels very tiring right now. I feel like I had so many more things I wanted to do this summer. There’s still time but it feels like there isn’t. I want to camp again. I did go camping. In Utah. Posting those pictures and about the trip will eventually happen, but it was early July, right after Carlos and I’d anniversary

It’s crazy that it’s been one year with Carlos. Even crazier that around this time next year we’ll be moving in together. I’m very excited. Also nervous. There’s going to be a few months where I’ll be living on my own and I’m actually kind of stoked for that. I’ve never lived alone before.

I want to get another tattoo this autumn once summer ends. I’m still too uncomfortable with tattooing my legs. My top idea at the moment is a Capricorn half goat half fish, but the goat is Black Phillip-esque with the fish portion being a bit decayed to where the tail turns into just bone at the bottom. I want it on my right tricep. Opposite my nesting dolls basically. Waiting for later in the month to reach out to my artist about it. Need to make sure all swimming opportunities have ended first.

Okay I’m tired now. Those were some thoughts. Goodnight.

[lilithsmom]

I finally feel like updating this dang blog but the photo sync on my phone is being weird, and you can't upload directly from Photos on a Mac, which is annoying as hell and so I saved down pictures but they're the wrong format. Ugh. Oy. I just wanna post my little pictures on my little blog about my little life.

Wah

[lilithsmom]

One year of knowing each other’s existence.

(Thought I posted this back in June when it was the anniversary of matching on Hinge, 06/15/23, but it just saved as a draft so here it is now!)

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[lilithsmom]

I have so many other things I need to update this blog with but I watched Barbie yesterday and while it’s incredible, yes, it’s pulled into a depression.

I’m so sad. It just confirmed how tiring this all is. Yes it was funny and it made me laugh, but I just want to cry and cry and cry until I drown in a puddle of my own tears.

[lilithsmom]

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Baby’s first work trip

[lilithsmom]

Shoutout to the man who spent all weekend with me in bed as I suffer from a mild but very annoying cold. Spent all Memorial Day weekend inside. Didn’t complain once, just liked spending time with me. I couldn’t ask for anything better, they don’t make anything better.

[lilithsmom]

[lilithsmom]

Initially I posted this without any caption or text, but that isn’t enough looking at it the next day.

This is such a nice memory for me (except earlier in the day when I was spiraling trying to find the right candles for candle painting). I had this very sweet moment by myself sitting around a table with my friends painting candles and watching my boyfriend make us personal pizzas in the kitchen. In that moment I realized this is all I’ve ever wanted. I’m very lucky for the life I have and the people who choose to be in my life. I hope I never take it for granted.

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April Activities

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Easter 2023

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Ahhh! I’m really bad at posting here

Photo dump commencing. 

I’ve really ruined the normal pacing of a blog with my back and forth ghosting.