lilmeowchow

[lilmeowchow]

Hi!

Could you please draw Sasuke with a ponytail, like one that hangs down , to highlight more of his face shape? It would probably look cute!

✍️ Like these? Sorta?

[lilmeowchow]

Dog ninja hc: he has a prey drive and likes to chase moving things and basically what I'm saying is laser pointers are incredibly distracting

he is burning

[lilmeowchow]

this still hasn't left my head because in canon the "triangle" is this

but that's only what the government wants you to think in actuality its

so THEORETICALLY, this is what the triangle would look like if sakura was a boy

i think im pretty dead on as i have my degree in narutology but its open to change

muffin what's ur take on naruto but sakura is a boy im boreddd i want to read ur response

Suddenly Sakura gets a lot more speaking lines, many more panels, and a to make up for not being able to be Sasuke's love interest Sakura is still super gay and in a love triangle with Naruto but somehow no one admits it or realizes it!

And now that Sakura is a boy, she and Ino have absolutely no chemistry somehow despite having loads of chemistry in canon.

I don't know enough of Naruto to go on the full, in detail, rant but I imagine Sakura would actually get shit to do and become a major part of the narrative in a way that Sakura of canon just isn't.

#naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #naruto x sasuke #sakura haruno #male sakura #naruto au

[lilmeowchow]

its honestly stupid how many ppl jump down sakura's throat for the fake confession scene. did it make my skin crawl to watch? yes. but it literally wouldn't have happened if sai wasn't such a shit stirrer, he planted that idea in her head.

muffin what's ur take on naruto but sakura is a boy im boreddd i want to read ur response

Suddenly Sakura gets a lot more speaking lines, many more panels, and a to make up for not being able to be Sasuke's love interest Sakura is still super gay and in a love triangle with Naruto but somehow no one admits it or realizes it!

And now that Sakura is a boy, she and Ino have absolutely no chemistry somehow despite having loads of chemistry in canon.

I don't know enough of Naruto to go on the full, in detail, rant but I imagine Sakura would actually get shit to do and become a major part of the narrative in a way that Sakura of canon just isn't.

[lilmeowchow]

I saw the mpreg!Edward ask and it looks like what you're saying is that, provided Bella is turned and survives, this scenario is traumatic but actually better for everyone than canon with no major fallout? Hah!

... Yes.

I mean, Irina still might see baby, but probably not and Jacob's probably not imprinting either as he wasn't around to protect Bella during the pregnancy so...

Yes.

[lilmeowchow]

Anon who asked about near, I read more about Wammy, and what the fuck?

How unhinged is Death Note for some X-men-eqsue dog fighting/L-grooming academy for Gifted Kids to not be talked about way more often as pretty fucked up?

Hilariously, fandom (at least last I checked, granted it's been a long while so who even knows) loves Wammys.

This is because it's very anime adjacent. Death Note has some aspects that are more anime than others and quirky genius children who each have a gimmick and belong to a super genius competitive orphanage is the most anime aspect of all. People love it and love the Wammys kids and when I last looked the space was dominated by Wammys orphanage fluff fics. There's not really an incentive to look deeper or much beyond the shallow "wow, competing for the top slot of L is hard, huh" and think about the fact that Watari went around collecting these children, devoid of parents and at their most vulnerable, for this hypercompetitive environment.

That, combined with the fact that the anime barely gets into it and the manga has a few panels on its history, and it's easy to gloss over just how much of a bastard Watari kind of was. It's not the point and the kids kind of just appear out of thin air for all they're treated by the story.

And, of course, Light's taking center stage being a complete lunatic and making new lunatic friends like Mikami and Takada.

[lilmeowchow]

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but. What if EDWARD gets pregnant instead of Bella?

Well.

That is a question, isn't it?

I'll have to think about this.

Let's Do It

Alright, we start in the same place as Breaking Dawn. Bella and Edward have sex >= 2 times, Edward at first is very upset with the physical injuries Bella shows but he's much better from time two onwards.

Two weeks pass by with much tropical delight. Unlike in canon, unless the chicken really was bad, Bella does not suddenly get violently ill. If she does, then it passes after a terrible time with our good friend salmonella.

However, Edward's feeling strange. I imagine Bella's the first to notice as Edward doesn't stare at himself that often. Bella's definitely noticing if Edward's abs are a little less defined than usual.

The thing is...

How does she bring it up?

"Edward, you're bloated?"

"Edward, you kind of have a muffin top there?"

Now, Bella's not the type to gaslight herself, she knows he was ripped before and that now he's a little poofy where he wasn't. And vampire bodies aren't supposed to change, but Edward's not saying anything and... is this just a weird post-vampire sex thing?

Edward is also feeling weird stomach "pains" (he's not sure what to call them as he has no stomach and he's never felt anything like this before, but yes, it is a baby starting to move around in there).

Edward becomes progressively more pregnant and neither Edward nor Bella say anything. Edward has now definitely noticed but is in that stage of illness where one denies this is happening or what this even is because vampires don't get ill and Bella isn't sure that this isn't totally normal.

Edward's just, you know... not fat... but kind of pregnant looking? And eating a lot of animals?

Should she call Carlisle?

Alice I imagine calls at some point as she stops seeing Edward. Now, she may call right away as in canon, or may call later so as to not er be looking in on the honeymoon even though she totally is. In canon, she'd thought Bella had died, here nothing can happen to Edward so... maybe he's just being weird about decisions or ew Jacob showed up.

Edward is also debating calling Carlisle but he's reached the shame portion of an illness where he does not wish to confess to his family that he is seriously ill with something and he has no idea what it is or how it happened.

...

Goddammit.

I think Renesmee is born like a xenomorph on Isle Esme. Luckily, they can piece Edward back together. Unluckily, Bella will still be human by that point and... well... Renesmee may not drink her fill and Bella may survive but be turned.

[lilmeowchow]

You know that when Light saw that Mikami had picked his famous ex-girlfriend from college who regularly spoke to all of Japan via her newscasting position to be their like mutual mouthpiece without his intervention or suggestion he got so instantly hard that he passed out. Matsuda tried to administer mouth-to-mouth.

[lilmeowchow]

[lilmeowchow]

a couple more things i'd like to add because i come from the area where this legend is from and i can't help myself.

to my knowledge wendigos aren't something that exist outside of northern tribes. pacific coast tribes have a different culture and legends to match them. anyways point is bella wouldn't have been able to be turned in forks, it'd have to be somewhere a lot more northeast. and no, wendigos don't like to vacay in the pacific woods.

but lets keep playing along. bella takes a trip to canada or wisconsin or minnisota or something.

the most common way for a wendigo to be made is for someone to get lost in the woods. if you don't freeze, you'll get hungry from all the walking around. and people can get erm a little desperate (cannibalism). evil spirits can influence you up to go crazy and eat someone or just straight up take advantage of you being weakened and posses you. whatever they feel like ig.

ok so bella goes to wiscanasota and gets lost in the woods. bella is pretty strong willed and wouldn't eat anybody no matter what because she'd find it embarrassing and she's already embarrassed that she's lost in the woods walking around like an idiot and everybody's probably wondering where she is. she's influenced or weak enough to be possessed. whichever.

so now what? bella isn't going to leave the woods. wendigo's don't want to be caught and really she shouldn't even look human at all. thats kind of the end of it unless you get creative.

her gift could pull its magic bullshit go number and resist the physical transformation or even make it so she has the ability to resist eating someone idk.

also, im not sure if she would be caught i think wendigo's can hibernate or go long periods without food. usually anyone they kill is just marked as a missing persons because they've already been lost in the woods or lured in there. they also have to be killed in a particular way so bella is on the loose until then.

What if Bella was a Wendigo?

I'm not trying to win the yandere simulator or anything, I just thought it would be funny if Bella occasionally hung out in the cold and ate people.

Wendigo

The interesting thing about the Twilight universe is that most of the myths we know, especially those that involve "the eating of people", stone people, you name it, are probably vampires. Otherwise, these creatures tended to have died out in competition with the vampire such as the Children of the Moon and who knows who else.

Which means that while Edward doesn't eat Bella, not meeting her as she's out in the wilderness with questionable sentience left eating people and herself and smells like decaying death even if he did come across her, if she gets too hangry the Volturi are probably putting her down.

Her life is misery and sawing off her own legs to eat them.

[lilmeowchow]

What if a vampire had the world's worst gift and his venom smelled like "singer" to other vampires? And then we dropped him off at the Cullens?

Jasper has a very terrible and very awkward accident.

[lilmeowchow]

I feel like literally everyone forgets that Beyond Birthday convinced three sets of grieving family members to hire him alone to solve the murders he committed. Including the mother of a 13-year-old girl.

Do you think she would hire a failboy freak like Rue Ryuzaki portrayed himself to Naomi Misora to solve the murder of her baby? Out of all the reputable, well-known private detectives in the world, she agreed to hire someone with no real credentials. This was arguably the most tragic event in this woman's life. There is no way she just took a chance on Rue despite himself. He must have assured her of his competence and legitimacy somehow.

Beyond refers to himself as an 'extreme freak' compared to L, which suggests he possesses the self-awareness to adjust his behavior according to his goals. It's pretty clear as far as I'm concerned that Rue Ryuzaki is meant to be a caricature of L - his defining traits are flanderized versions of L's. He serves a distinct purpose, allowing Beyond to get close to Misora (and therefore L) so that he can manipulate the outcome of the investigation. He serves his purpose best if he comes off relatively harmless and not as capable as Misora herself.

I think that when Misora tells L that her impression of Rue is that he should've killed himself already, (damn girl that's pretty fucked up tbh) Beyond didn't get his feelings hurt at all. I think that's exactly what he wanted, right down to her relaying this to L.

I think it does Beyond Birthday's character a disservice to assume he's a one trick pony and that Rue's cringe loser persona and B's unhinged ramblings about L as he's planning his own suicide when he's alone demonstrate the extent of his range.

Getting hired to solve the cases of his own murder victims demands impression management. This man is undoubtedly capable of a certain degree of charisma if he chooses to use it. I think he becomes much more interesting when you consider that pretending to be someone else is one of his defining character traits and it's actually not clear where the act begins or ends in the novel.

[lilmeowchow]

I feel like I’ve asked this before and you answered me but maybe I dreamt it cause I can’t find it anywhere on your blog. What do you think the Cullens reaction to a vampire that could sleep be? Or even better, what if one of the Cullens was able to sleep? Is it just assumed their transformation is incomplete or is it assumed to be a lackluster gift?

What if The Cullens Found a Vampire That Could Sleep?

The vast majority of the Cullens would be "huh, weird" but think almost nothing of it. They might be mildly envious or think "sucks to be you" because they don't get exhausted/have to stop watching television in the middle of the night because of sleep.

Edward would lose his fucking mind.

"To sleep, perchance, to dream--" you know the quote, he'd be off to the races, this vampire haunts Edward's every waking moment. His waking moment, to be sure, because Edward cannot sleep as a human can. As this vampire can. Oh to leave this cruel world if only for a moment and escape to the realm of sleep as the humans do. What looks like a dumb gift/failed survival mechanism in this vampire is indeed the greatest blessing a vampire can possibly have, how Edward envies them and how he knows his family too envies them but hides their envy for it is too much--

Look, we're talking about a guy who waxes poetry for pages upon pages about watching Bella sleep and getting deeply weird about the fact that she can sleep at all and he can't.

Edward would never not be thinking about this vampire.

What if it's a Cullen?

Same deal, a little extra on the "huh weird" as I imagine the Cullens are worried something medically might be wrong and maybe this is where the animal diet starts failing people...

Edward would lose his mind even more than he did before (especially if it's Rosalie, BECAUSE HOW DARE SHE NOT APPRECIATE THIS GIFT FROM GOD)

[lilmeowchow]

my favorite funger guy

[lilmeowchow]

What if Bella really was a vindictive trickster demon whose one goal in life was to torment Edward?

Well.

Alright then.

It means Edward would have a time.

I imagine Trickster Bella acts very similar for the most part except for a few key differences. One, she acts terrified of Edward and never relents. This causes Edward to despair and despise himself as every time he sees her, she reminds him of a monster. Two, she goads him into killing her (making it look unintentional) and whenever he does succumb to temptation, she regenerates herself, so she looks perfectly fine next time she sees him.

Edward lives in this awful, hellish, loop in which he himself is entirely to blame for all of it (as Bella purposefully does nothing, just waits for Edward to crack, every time).

[lilmeowchow]

this is the same scene to me

[lilmeowchow]

vkei + gyaru