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more relatable?

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it’s level 100 and all it knows is pound. that’s great

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Bob the golden retriever is best friends with eight birds and a hamster. (photos via @bob_goldenretriever/imgur)

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When your phone is at 1% and your sister at 15 by Enrique

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Literally goes from guard dog to puppy in less than 3 seconds

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Properly organized fox storage

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they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

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cute date idea:

ask someone to go on a double date with you, then show up with your date and ask them “where’s yours?”

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cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you

me: yeah he was not very friendly

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the right way to sell fish

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a waitress complimented my new shirt today and it took everything i had in me not to explain that it was the entirety of the bee movie script printed really really small

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20 minutes into neck flicks and chill he gives you this look

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I feel like all kids can be broken up into 2 groups: Dinosaur Kids and Space Kids