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MY COFFEE BLACK AND MY BED AT THREE. YOURE TOO SWEET FOR ME

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Camp Jupiter when Percy shows up:

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there's literally gonna be a new taylor swift album im so excited it's been like six years

(if you are one of the gatekeeping weirdos who only counts the albums taylor released during her lifetime as "real ts" this post is not for you, let people be excited, the machine was literally trained not just on her music but on her brainwaves so there is literally no discernible difference)

#AJHH

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taking your own advice is so hard. it’s “make bad art” this and “kill your perfectionism” that until i sit down with an idea i like. the i have to execute it perfectly Or Else

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"did i tell u this already?" we are in a timeloop and i am in love with u tell me again

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I hate eating soooo much

#every single day I have to figure out food and I’m never hungry and it SUCKS #there is just very little joy in food for me #I want. nutrient pellets already.

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liking someone a normal healthy amount? no sorry i only know complete disinterest or violent obsession

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there are many benefits to being a marine biologist

#see mike this is what i mean #this could be me

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is the having ever going to be as good as the wanting

#serious question

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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

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most common lies...

"I'm fine"

"I am having a conscious experience"

"My brain is so pink and human and is living inside of meninges and cerebrospinal fluid; there is not a silicone pod full of saline inside of my skull"

"I am a real human with a sense of ego and not several thousand roach brain wired into a nervous system where the cortices should be, shallowly imitateing hominid behavior but unable to form a subjective impression of itself"

"I have blood"

#oh HORRIFYING #unreality

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Actually have marcia and marwick ever met. Like ever. Have they ever had a single conversation. I'm trying to remember and I don't think they have which is so funny. Does septimus even tell marcia abt him. Or like 3 years on when he's telling her smth that happened he's like yeah me and 409 went out for lunch the other day- and marcias like 409?? U mean ur friend 409 from the young army who died????

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Marcia being the first adult to ask about Septimus's well being when he was boy 412 is something that can be so personal actually.

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breaking news: local five hundred year old man falls down the wizard tower stairs again, surprising absolutely no one

the aftermath:

#I love it so much when people make niche memes that like 6 people on this website are going to understand #this is so funny thank u op for sharing

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Telling people what I’m doing and then going “do you concur with this plan? You have two min to provide rationale if you don’t” is actually my favorite phrase in the world currently

#I think everyone should communicate like that all the time #speak now or FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE BITCH #this is why I can’t leave my job. where else am I gonna find people who talk like me

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and on the fifth day god invented people who are younger and more successful than you in order to teach you some kind of fucked up and evil lesson