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marisol-jimenez-blog · 6 years

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The Interview:

(TW: short description of a panic attack included in the answer to question 10.)

So, tell me a little bit about growing up. What was your childhood like?

The first word that comes to her mind is: confusing.

People always used to ask her when she knew she was deaf- she would always shrug, pretending it wasn’t the stupidest question ever. Born deaf, Marisol had never known any different. When did you know you could hear, asshole?

Living in a world where she sees people’s mouthed moving, but not able to hear any of the sound coming out, or even knowing she should be hearing sound. Confusing was putting it mildly.

Of course, once her family had realized she wasn’t reaching critical milestones that young children should reach, like responding to sounds, they’d tried to help her. Hearing aids and lots of doctors appointments, but there was no use. Once when her oldest brother, Aaron, ran over their mailbox with his brand new car, she’d heard a soft crash, and then some scraping sounds. Things that hearing people seemed to find loud enough to cover their ears were small whines in hers, occasionally bangs, or crackling when third oldest brother, Jason, played his guitar with his amp all the way up.

So her father set every free moment to learning ASL and teaching her mother and three older brothers. By the time Marisol was seven, her whole family could sign to some degree, and it’s just one of the many things she’ll always be grateful to them for.

Marisol took a deep breath to steady her shaking hands before typing out one word on the computer in front of her.

Loving.

What about your relationship with your family?

With the previous question, it’d been avoidable. It was easy to write off her childhood as all about her hearing, or lack thereof. But once she and her family could really communicate, it started to occur to Marisol that despite their love for her, they really didn’t understand her. She always wrote it off as the hearing barrier, but as she got older and more comfortable with herself, she began noticing it wasn’t just hearing that came easier to the rest of her family.

Aaron was a football star, Eric a budding merit scholar, Jason a musical prodigy, and her two younger brothers, Nathan and Mitchell, had yet to find something they didn’t naturally exceed at.

Marisol, on the other hand, stayed up until dawn doing homework. She ran track, and trained even on weekends to beat her high school’s record for the fastest 100-yard dash… a title which was held by her father.

A lot to live up to in every aspect, but Marisol wasn’t a quitter. Her mother wanted her grades high, and her father wanted her perfect in every other aspect. No dating, no tight clothing, just her, her grades, and her running. Living up to her family’s standards was exhausting, but Marisol knew it would be worth it once they looked at her like they had looked at Aaron when he’d found out he’d gotten into the University of Alabama to play football for the Crimson Tide.

Things had only become harder when Marisol, the late bloomer she was, developed her Nova ability and became the first Nova in her family.

But still, she could feel the tears prickling in her eyes as she typed.

I love them. I miss them. We weren’t perfect, but we were happy.

Are you the only Nova in your family? Or were your parents Novas too? What about any siblings?

The answer came easier this time, but, so did the tears.

Yes, it’s just me.

Much like everything else in her life, Marisol had been alone in this battle, too. She was seventeen when it began really developing- as if being a Deaf teenager striving for perfection wasn’t hard enough.

What’s your ability like? Is it easy to control or harder? Do you even like it?

This time, Marisol laughed. A short, bitter chuckle, despite the fear that curled in her gut just remembering.

When she was seventeen, her vision had begun changing. At first it was like waking up with sleep-stuff in your eyes, and having to rub it away. Or when you stand up too fast and your eyes go fuzzy for a minute. That was it, but with colors. Bright pinks, blues, reds, just little hazes out of the corners of her eyes on occasion.

It happened increasingly, especially when she was around lots of people. In the grocery store with her mother, or at Aaron’s football games. Jason’s concerts were especially blurry (don’t even get her started on the fact that she was even dragged along to concerts despite the fact she can’t fucking hear) Green haze clouding her vision so intensely that she had to shut her eyes.

So, it was more doctor’s appointments, and pitying looks from her brothers, and her mother fussing over her. And the terrifying thought that perhaps she was going blind, too.

But that wasn’t it. In fact, it was almost the opposite.

People always told her that her being Deaf wasn’t a disadvantage, but rather something that gave her different advantaged than others. She always just related it to how she can have conversations across a room with ASL, or how her other senses were hightened.

Marisol vividly remembers sitting with Jason one day, him speaking to her while she practiced reading his lips, and a wave of yellow and red coming toward her from his mouth. It was more focused than the hazes usually was, and she reached out to it… and actually touched it. She could feel the excitement behind his words as he told her about the new song he was writing.

And that was how she figured out it wasn’t the loss of a sense, but the development of an ability. A new advantage.

It’s hard to control. The sound waves just sort of come at me a lot of the time. It can be overwhelming. But it’s also the closest I can get to hearing. To feeling as extrordinary as my brothers. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

How would you describe your personality?

Of all questions, she hadn’t thought this would be the hard one.

It wasn’t until she was in the safety of Yalena’s Sanctuary, not too long before the raid, that she had the time to realize… she didn’t know who she was. Without the constant pressure of her family, or the constant fear of being caught as a fugitive… who had she become?

She’d been trying to figure this out when the Wardens came. She supposed she still had some thinking to do, but she typed what she was sure of to E.R.I.S.

Scared.

And she supposed…

Honest.

What do you think your greatest strengths and weaknesses are?

Marisol ran a hand through her hair. Who the hell did this barely-there bitch think she was, asking all these questions? Marisol owed her no answers. No one did. Hadn’t they been through enough?

Strengths and weaknesses? What a joke. All anyone ever cared about, even before E.R.I.S. was Marisol’s biggest strength and weakness.

Strength: her ability. Weakness: Deaf.

Even though she herself didn’t see her lack of hearing as a weakness at all. And sometimes her ability was more of a pain in the ass than a strength.

That was all she was to anyone.

But there were other things to her. There had to be. Like her ambition- that got her through high school on the honor roll and into a good university on a track scholarship. Her kindness, her perception and ability to analyze things, even before her Nova ability had surfaced.

There was also her anxiety, the constant fear, her analytical side never giving her a break and over-analyzing. The fact that, even though she was nice to everyone, she trusted no-one. Except for Riaan, she supposed.

Marisol merely shrugged.

Where and what were you doing the day the Nova Protection Act was enacted?

Just barely nineteen, Marisol had her last track meet the day the Nova Protection Act was put into action. She was racing and coming in second place when it was officially announced, and by the time she turned her phone back on in the locker room after the meet, there were hundreds of text messages from her brothers, and missed calls from her parents.

She could still see Jason’s text message.

“Nova Protection Act? Good thing you’ve been training to run your whole life, little sister.”

She pulled out of university and went home, and the Jimenez’s came up with a plan.

Into the computer she typed: Losing a track meet.

She wanted to add “along with my life”, but thought better of it.

Did you immediately run? Or did you try to obey the law and report to the Anti-Nova Force?

Marisol blinked at this. It hadn’t even occurred to her that there had been other Novas that might have actually turned themselves in. She felt sad for them.

If you were a Nova, would you turn yourself into something literally called the Anti-Nova Force? Sure the fuck not. I ran.

How have you survived this last year and a half or so? Did you have any help or were you all alone? How did you find Yalena’s Sanctuary?

Marisol shook her head. She really tried not to think about it.

I stayed with my brother for a while. But it got too dangerous, so I ran again once they started the Siege.

She remembered the look on Aaron’s face when she’d said goodbye. He hadn’t been awake. She’d packed her things in the night, written him a note, and kissed the sleeping dope’s forehead. She remembered how good he’d been to her for the month she was there, even letting her sleep in his bed, while his back cramped up on the couch. For the boy that had shoved her around most of their lives, he was turning into an okay man.

I mostly squatted in abandoned buildings. Never stayed anywhere too long. I was lucky, I had money from my family. So I wasn’t starving like some of the other Novas I ran into. I didn’t travel with anyone, too hard to do when you can’t easily communicate with them.

Marisol could still smell the pizza she’d bought and shared with a few younger Novas while she’d been on the run. They’d been so tattered, and looked so thin, she didn’t think twice before giving it to them, only taking a slice for herself for an excuse to get a few more minutes of human contact while she ate.

One of Yalena’s scouts found me. I was trying to buy a car, get around faster, get a warmer place to sleep. But life’s hard without a Biotag. That scout and Yalena saved my life.

What were you doing when the raid happened? How did you respond to the flood of Wardens? How quickly did you go through Yalena’s portal?

Marisol closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Her hands were shaking worse than before, she knew that if she opened her eyes she’d be able to see the tiny soundwaves from her fingers chattering as they shook over the keyboard.

It was like she was there again.

She’d seen the soundwaves before it happened. She’d almost, almost, heard them kick the door down as they entered.

Marisol had been drawing when it had happened. Remembering soundwaves coming from Jason’s guitar, and drawing it from memory with broken crayons she’d found.

She saw people screaming. People fighting. Stood up to see what was going on, and watched as Yalena opened a portal, Wardens and Novas charging around her.

She’d frozen with panic. Yalena was yelling, everyone was yelling. Telling her to go through, she assumed. Or to move, so they could. She didn’t know for sure- she’d been too scared to read their lips. Too scared to do anything, even though she was barely a few steps from the portal- from safety.

Someone had pushed her through. Or pulled her. Or knocked her through by accident. She didn’t know which, or even who it had been. It was a blur of bodies and Wardens and lots and lots of black and brown and grey and red soundwaves. Feeling like her youngest brother, Mitchell, was sitting on her chest. Gasping for air. Knees buckling. Literally falling through the portal, landing face first in safety.

Opening her eyes, Marisol shrugged again.

What has living in The Imperium been like for you? Do you feel safer than before? Is it better or worse than on the run, or Yalena’s Sanctuary?

Marisol thought for a moment. Safer than before? Before when? Before she’d become a Nova? Absolutely not. Nothing was safer than that. Safer than before the NPA? Nope. She scrunched up her nose, looking E.R.I.S. over. She would have thought an AI to be far more specific with its incessant questioning.

Clearly you’ve never been on the run before.

She felt safe, safer than the Sanctuary. And she’d hated being on the run. But she missed Yalena. And she was terrified for all the Novas that hadn’t made it through the portal.

The last question. If war broke out between Novas and the humans, which side will you be on?

Marisol stood up, kicking her chair over. Manners be damned.

This time, no longer too anxious to use ASL, but instead too furious not to, she signed her answer.

Novas are humans.

#bio #about #hcs #(the hare; i run fastest when it's away from my problems)#still working on these tags #i can't decide

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