mctherdearest

[mctherdearest]

i have no motivation to write whatsoever 💀 i’m really sorry for people who are waiting on drafts from me, being cut off from the muse for a few weeks kinda killed it for me, so i’m gonna wait and see if it comes back — might have to explore more AUs to try and diversify as well

#— ooc. #// really sorry about all those drafts #// i'm feeling very uninspired

[mctherdearest]

lucretia  —  marblecarved​

@mctherdearest sent a letter to lucretia prewett: ‘‘ you look… as lovely as ever, lucretia. ’’ 

prompt: ballroom dialogue starters.

At her compliment, Lucretia tucks her chin into her neck as she looks down at herself, bringing her shoulders back. Such a movement prompts the tiered skirt of her dress to flutter about her frame, then settle against her knees.

❝ Thank you, ❞ she pronounces in a tone of voice loud enough to be heard above the chatter in the drawing room. Though her first choice was a coral-colored dress, her mother, Melania, asked her to reconsider. It would make you stand out more than you would like, she said, meeting her gaze through the mirror. In her hands she held the hanger of a burgundy dress. At the time, she followed her advice only because there was no more time to select another ( and they were late enough as it is ! ) but now…

With a hand, Lucretia brushes the fabric clean of imaginary dust; She has to admit its color is indeed lovely, and it creates quite the contrast with the dark furniture that is so characteristic of Grimmauld Place. It has, so far, not attracted as much attention as her previous coral choice surely would have.

Indeed, since her arrival with her family she engaged in few conversations of varying length; Brief exchanges of pleasantries, answering on the whereabouts of her mother or father or even both… All that one expects to engage with during a family gathering, while searching for one of the few tolerable of the lot.

In the end, it was Wal who found her, idly sipping a drink while letting her eyes wander about the room. They are now standing near the buffet table; Neither too far nor too near from the gathering, a position ideal to busy oneself with observing and not doing much talking. It had always been a favorite of Lucretia.

❝ You look splendid, Wal, ❞ as she raises her head, she points at her cousin’s dress with the empty glass, following her own movement with her eyes for a moment before raising them to meet hers. Here, Lucretia smiles, prompting her eyes to crinkle at the corners. ❝  I’m so glad you are here, ❞ then, following a brief pause. ❝  I missed you. ❞

the  black  family                        never  shies  away  from throwing  extravagant  parties,  for  whatever  reasons.  this  one  is  probably  to  celebrate  the  spring  awakening  -  or  so  she thinks,  losing  tracks  of  her  parents'  excuses  for  gathering the  whole  family  and  more  in  the  town  house  of  12,  grimmauld  square.  in  any  case,  it  gives  walburga  a  good  occasion  to dress  up,  and  see  her  extended  family  and  cousins  with  whom she  barely  spends  time  with  anymore  since  graduating  from hogwarts  last  summer  —  though  really,  there  is  only  one cousin  she's  eager  to  see  tonight.

she  and  lucretia  never  spends  too  long  apart,  but  it's  been almost  a  whole  month  since  their  last  get-together,  at  another  pureblood  ball  in  the  countryside.  so  she  chooses  a  dress she  knows  her  cousin  will  like:  satin,  dark  emerald  green, worn  on  several  occasion  already  but  always  drawing  compliments  nonethless.  she  draws  her  dark  hair  into  a  low  bun  and applies  some  lipstick  to  finish  the  look.  in  the  mirror,  her reflection  smiles  at  her.

when  she  finally  goes  downstairs,  she  notices  many  people  are there  already,  gathered  in  the  ballroom.  she  scans  the  room, searching  for  the  other  dark-haired  girl  —  which  proves  tricky  in  the  sea  of  their  relatives,  all  sporting  the  same  dark looks.  but  there  she  is,  in  the  burgundy  dress,  and  wally feels  the  familiar  fluttering  of  her  stomach  as  she  crosses the  room  in  a  few  strides  to  meet  her.

"  thank  you  "  she  blushes  and  smiles  at  lucretia's  compliment.  she  wants  to  add,  i  thought  of  you  when  i  chose  this dress,  but  she  keeps  quiet.  instead,  she  takes  her  cousin's hand  in  hers,  intertwinning  their  fingers  and  squeezing lightly.  "  i  missed  you,  too  "  again  she  wants  to  say,  i would  spend  every  day  with  you  if  i  could,  and  again  she keeps  quiet.  instead  she  snaps  her  fingers  for  lucretia's glass  to  refill,  and  grabs  one  of  her  own.  "  perhaps  next time,  there  will  be  an  actual  thing  to  celebrate  -  like  a wedding  or  an  engagement  "  she  speaks  only  for  their  distant cousins  though  ;  she  cannot  imagine  either  of  them  getting married,  not  yet.  "  i'm  betting  on  malfoy  -  you  know  how eager  abraxas  was  about  getting  a  wife  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— ask for forgiveness never permission / youth. #— it's been you and me since before i was me / lucretia black. #marblecarved #// it's perfect mona ! #// ugh i love them

[mctherdearest]

professor  corvinus  —  fallencrowns​

Oh the pride of Slytherins and purebloods, something he had had a hand in crafting many centuries ago but he couldn’t help but find AMUSEMENT in a child acting in such a way. His lips curled into a faint smile, a spark in his dark eyes.  ❝  Ah, yes, how very REFINED it is. Like table sugar that once came from sugarcane that could grow and stand all on its own and is now stored in delicate containers for an evening tea.  ❞  He was teasing her, the mirth all too apparent. There was his own pride shining through so easily. Here he was trying to EDUCATE rather than have others forget entirely where they all came from, rather than letting their history be forgotten and thrown aside.

His attention momentarily turned away from the girl, back towards his desk that he leaned on. His hand moved from where it had rested in his pocket, so lazily stretching out towards the cup of tea that was growing colder by the moment. But Salazar didn’t reach entirely for it, instead letting his magic expel from his hand without so much as a WORD and the teacup was soon moving across the desk and straight into his hand. A subtle display of his own POWER, wordless and wandless before Salazar’s gaze returned to Walburga.  ❝  Cutting branches away doesn’t eradicate them from your history, I’m afraid. The world would be so much more SIMPLE if that were possible. I’ve family of my own that I’m not entirely fond of.  ❞  Raising the cup up to his lips, he took a sip before speaking again, this time his gaze on the dark liquid and his amusement gone. 

❝  I would also be quite CAREFUL in trimming a tree, Ms. Black. You see, trees have a nasty tendency to wither away and DIE if too many branches are cut away.  ❞  That was more of a warning, something Salazar had seen many times. The end of a family line, a name fading away and its legacy along with it.

she  shifts  her  weight                        from  one  foot  to another  as  she  watches  his  little  demonstration  of  his  magic. of  course  she  has  never  doubted  the  professor  to  be  a  most powerful  magician,  as  all  teachers  are  ;  though  you  wouldn't imagine  a  history  teacher  being  an  exceptional  wizard.  perhaps he  would  be  more  suited  teaching  charms,  or  defense  against the  dark  arts,  if  his  interest  in  ancient  forms  of  magic  run  so  deep. " i'll  admit  that's  impressive "  she  crosses  her  arms  over  her  chest.  "  and  i  suppose  that's why  magic  manifests  in  this  form  in  children.  but  why  should we  cling  to  remains  of  our  past  ?  "  she  raises  an  eyebrow.

" if we pretend they don't exist, they might as well not exist at all " she  shrugs. whatever  those  people  might  be  doing  in  their  lives  were  of  no  concern  to  them,  once  they  were  erased  from  the  family  tree.  all  ties  were  severed  and  all  contacts  prohibited.  "  if  you  never  see  something,  or  hear  about  that  thing,  does  it  still  have  an  existence  ?  "  her  question  is  rhetorical  :  in  her  case,  she  already  knows  the  answer. "  as  for  my  family  tree,  it's  in  perfect  health  "  she   smiles.  "  i  have  two  brothers  and  many  cousins,  and  though not  all  of  them  bear  our  name,  all  our  trees  are intertwinned  and  keeping  each  other  alive  "

#— do people whisper about you like me ? / hogwarts. #fallencrowns

[mctherdearest]

#— with a face like that / visage. #// of course the blacks own several countryside estates #you cannot tell me otherwise

[mctherdearest]

andromeda  —  prioriincantatem​

“I didn’t run off with Ted,” Andromeda says tensely. She hates being looked at with this level of disdain, with this level of disgust from the woman that’s been as good as a mother to her. “His family were kind enough to let me stay with them until I could get my things.” She can’t deny that she burned herself off the tapestry. She’s still proud of that; she won’t make apologies for it. 

The slap startles her, and Andromeda takes a half step back from the force of it. She looks at Walburga, shocked and hurt. “I’m still part of this family,” she says. “You can’t take me out of this family, I’m part of you. You told me that. You can’t take that back.”

the  trouble  with  cherished children                                        is  they  start thinking  they  will  get  away  with  anything  —  like  lying  to one's  face,  as  andromeda  is  doing  now.  pretending  her  stay with  the  muggles  is  —  what  ?  a  vacation  ?  "  they're muggles,  andromeda  !  filfthy  muggles  !  "  she  snarls. "  you  should  know  better  than  to  lie  to  me,  girl  "

she  lets  a  little  chuckle  escape  her  at  her  niece's  words, though  it  is  bitter.  she  did  see  her  as  a  daughter,  and  it made  the  betrayal  all  the  more  painful  and  terrible.  "  what did  you  think  happen  when  you  burned  your  name  of  the tapestry  ?  "  her  lips  are  pinched,  her  stare  icy.  "  you're no  longer  part  of  this  family.  whatever  you  were  exists  no longer.  you're  no  black,  andromeda.  you're  no  kin  of  mine  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— this was the most unkindest cut of all / andromeda. #prioriincantatem

[mctherdearest]

sirius  —  adveanture​

IT   IS   A   TENUOUS   BALANCE   BETWEEN   THE   CONFLICT   AND   REBELLION   HE   CRAVES   AND   THE   REALITY   OF   HIS   PARENTS’   REACTIONS.         there   is   an   inexplicable   blend   of   wishing   for   the   pain   and   weeping   at   its   arrival      —      a   fascinating   conflagration   of   sirius’s   wish   for   their   disapproval   and   wish   for   their   love.      he   cannot   explain   it   .   .   .      he   never   will   be   able   to   explain   it.      once   upon   a   time,   regulus   and   he   would   sneak   each   other   snacks   or   books   when   confined   to   their   rooms.      sirius   will   not   be   able   to   count   on   even   that   now,   he   is   sure   of   it.

he   grits   his   teeth,   clenches   his   hands   tightly   at   his   sides,   and   looks   down   at   the   floor   instead   of   his   mother’s   cold,   hardened   expression.            “      i   will   .   .   .      behave   myself,   mother,      ”            he   promises,   begging   through   barred   teeth.            “      .   .   .      please.      ”            he   hates   the   sound   of   the   plea   from   his   lips,   but   he   hates   the   idea   of   isolation   from   any   and   everything   that   makes   life   in   this   house   bearable   even   more.            “      i’ll   do   better.      ”  

a  line  has  been  crossed                                           when  she  is  able  to  bend  him.  in  his  younger  years,  it  was easier,  but  it  has  gotten  harder  and  harder  with  the  years, when  he  starts  to  push  back  against  her  more  and  more.  so far  she  has  always  achieved  what  she  aimed  for  —  aware  that one  day,  the  reed  might  break  altogether.

now  she  knows  she  has  reached  a  point  for  him  where  he  can't  do  anything  but  back  down  ;  robbing  him  of  his  freedom  is the  one  threat  which  has  never  failed  her  so  far.  "  these are  only  words  —  empty  promises  "  she  says  "  i  will  need to  see  acts  and  deeds  before  i  allow  you  your  freedom  again "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— he couldn't care less and i never cared more / sirius #adveanture

[mctherdearest]

sirius  —  adveanture​

WHEN   HE   IS   SMALL,   HE   FLINCHES   AT   VIOLENCE   IN   HER   VOICE      —      AT   TOUCES   THAT   ARE   TOO   TIGHT   OR   WORDS   THAT   ARE   TOO   SHARP.         now,   they   only   fuel   him      —      only   stoke   the   fire   inside   to   burn   ever   brighter,   ever   hotter,   ever   endless.      he   is   uncontrollable,   they   say.      they   never   mean   it   well.      but   perhaps   he   is,   and   perhaps   that   is   a   good   thing.      good   or   bad,   it   is   impossible   to   change      —      and   impossible   to   wish   to   change.  

“      being   born   to   privilege   and   prosperity   isn’t   working   for   anything,   mother,      ”            he   retorts,   pleased   at   least   that   he’s   pushed   her   to   reactivity.      once   she   loses   her   temper,   she   loses   all   sorts   of   reason   in   her   arguments.      that   is,   at   least,   some   small   success   in   sirius’s   mind,   though   he   knows   now,   invoking   this   sort   of   talk,   that   he   will   engage   his   father’s   ire   as   well   most   likely.      and   orion   does   not   partake   in   the   verbal   sparring   of   his   son   and   wife.            “      you   and   this   entire   fucking   family   are   the   worthless   ones!      ”  

even  when  she  knows                        his  own  purpose  in pushing  her  over  the  edge,  she  cannot  help  but  falling. perhaps  she  falls  because  there  is  some  sort  of  satisfaction in  letting  out  this  pure  anger  —  it's  not  like  he  isn't asking  for  it,  goading  them  past  their  limits  each  time. "  and  your  little  friend  james,  he  works  so  hard,  uh  ?  and so  do  you  ?  i  mean,  besides  your  little  pranks  and  your fights  ?  " she  knows  of  his  behaviour  at  hogwarts,  informed  regularly  by  his  head  of  house.

her  body  tenses  as  he  crosses  the  line,  and  she  only  needs  a  split  second  to  seize  her  wand  inside  her  robe.  "  you  do not  talk  of  your  family  like  this  "  she  growls,  pointing  at him.  "  you  do  not  talk  about  us  like  that.  crucio  !  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— he couldn't care less and i never cared more / sirius #adveanture #abuse tw #child abuse tw

[mctherdearest]

lucretia  —  marblecarved​

@mctherdearest sent a letter to lucretia prewett: ‘‘ i’ll bring you tea with honey. i know that always makes you feel better. ’’

prompt: platonic and familiar sentence starters.

Though occupied with adjusting her position on the settee, Lucretia tips her head to one side, looking up at her cousin from under her lashes. As their eyes meet, she smiles. It’s a mere hint of one, appearing there, at the corners of her mouth, but it a smile nonetheless. Of course she remembers how I take my tea, Lucretia thinks to herself, and it prompts a note of appreciative surprise to appear in her voice when she answers thus: ❝ I would like that very much, ❞  while intertwining her hands on her lap, and there takes on the likeness of a statue, with a tense set of shoulders and a straight back that refuses to lean on the settee. Her gaze has yet to leave her cousin, and from familiar features she draws a comfort this house never gave her, no matter the company. 

Indeed, not even the lit fireplace at the center of the drawing room is enough to make it at least seem hospitable. Still, the settee and accompanying armchairs are near enough to let its warmth envelop them in a luminous embrace. That is something that Lucretia appreciates immensely, at the moment. ❝ Thank you, ❞ and then, following a brief hesitation, she adds a ❝ Wal, ❞ dusting off the childhood nickname, pronouncing it with the same sweetness she used the first time she gave it a voice to.

lucretia  left  the  house                        when  she  got married,  like  all  other  girls  joining  their  husband's  family and  mansion  ;  her  departure  left  an  empty  space  that  could never  be  fulfilled,  not  in  walburga's  eyes.  at  first,  their visit  to  each  other  were  quite  frequent,  but  as  walburga founded  her  own  family,  they  began  seeing  less  and  less  of each  other  —  which  made  their  reunion  the  more  important  in her  eyes.  there  isn't  one  little  detail  walburga  can  forget about  her  cousin,  and  she  snaps  her  fingers  to  order  the house  elf  to  make  the  tea  as  she  likes  it. "  i  knew  you  would  "  she  says,  smiling  as  she  takes  her  own  seat  in  front  of  lucretia.  she  takes  in  the  sight  of  her cousin,  her  own  black  hair  and  clear  eyes  so  alike  hers.  she  mimicks  her  pose  for  a  second,  but  the  use  of  her  childhood  nickname  prompts  her  into  action.

 she  leans  forward  and  rests  her  hand  atop  her  cousin's.  " lili  "  she  says,  using  her  own  childhood  nickname  for  her, from  a  time  where,  as  a  toddler,  she  found  it  impossible  to pronounce  'lulu'.  "  why  are  you  here  today  ?  do  you  need  my  help  ?  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— it's been you and me since before i was me / lucretia black. #marblecarved

[mctherdearest]

THE GREAT 1.01

#— i'm counting up my demons / musings.

[mctherdearest]

— i’m out of dissertation HELL ! so that means i will slowly be making a comeback as everyone’s favourite mum

#— ooc. #// i lived bitches

[mctherdearest]

𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧. - indie. regulus black. based largely on original worldbuilding and alternate universes, incl. regency, comicverse (dc, marveI), spyverse, chronicIes of narnia, mythos, star wars     𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙙

#— this year i devour / promo. #// if you don't have the bestest loveliest person on your dash yet then #what the eff are you doing ?????

[mctherdearest]

#— with a face like that / visage.

[mctherdearest]

sirius  —  adveanture​

PIECES   OF   HIS   MIND   BREAK   AND   SCATTER   IN   AZKABAN.         memories   are   lost   to   him,   more   than   the   general   ravages   of   time   .   .   .      but   most   of   those   memories   are   good   ones.      the   dementors   feast   on   the   pain   and   the   fear   and   the   agony,   yes,   but   in   so   doing   they   bring   those   nightmares   to   the   forefront   again   and   again   and   again   until   those   are   all   that   remain   to   you.  

so   this   face      —      this   voice,   this   countenance      —      of   his   mother   is   familiar   because   though   he   remembers   feeling   it   little   at   the   time,   his   earliest   memories   are   some   of   the   most   painful   to   reflect   upon.      but   being   back   here,   being   returned   to   this   cursed   place,   makes   them   impossible   to   avoid   at   the   same   time.  

“      i   didn’t   want   to   be,      ”            he   replies,   small   and   quiet,   unable   to   move   or   look   away.            “      i   .   .   .      didn’t   want   to   come   back.      ”  

the  face  is  frowning                                  as  if  she doesn't  understand  what  he  is  saying.  "  what  do  you  mean  ? "  the  man  has  changed,  but  it  is  her  son  looking  at  her, speaking  to  her  —  isn't  it  ?  then  why  wouldn't  he  want  to be  back  inside  his  house,  his  home  ?  "  i've  been  waiting for  you  "  the  part  of  her  consciousness  which  got  attached to  the  painting  loved  him,  and  it  remembers  his  love,  too.

so  it  must  be  the  traitors.  the  traitors  who  have  kept  him  away,  the  traitors  who  have told  him  all  the  bad  things  she  can  hear  them  whisper,  even with  the  curtains  drawn.  her  neck  twists  and  she  faces  him,  her  face  contorted  in  a  scream.  "  they  lie  !  it's  all  lies  !  "  she  screams,  before  she relaxes  once  more,  her  face  back  to  normal  in  the  mirror.  " but  you're  here  now,  and  you're  going  to  stay  with  me  "

#— caught between the angels and the beasts / undetermined verse. #— he couldn't care less and i never cared more / sirius #adveanture

[mctherdearest]

sirius  —  adveanture​

SIRIUS’S   WHOLE   BODY   GOES   COLD.         his   eyes   widen,   and   his   lips   part.      not   truly   in   surprise      —      they   love   to   come   up   with   tailored   punishments   for   their   children,   and   they   know   what   will   hurt   sirius   the   most      —      but   in   fear.            “      you   can’t   do   that,      ”            he   gasps,   his   hands   shaking   at   his   side   in   fists.            “      y-you      —      no!      ”

he   can’t   be   trapped   here   without   anything   to   do      —      without   anyone   outside   to   speak   with.      he   can’t.            “      are   you   going   to   just   lock   me   in   my   fucking   room   until   i   do   as   you   say   once   again?!      ”            it   would   hardly   be   the   first   time.      but   the   older   he   gets,   the   more   the   years   pass,   the   harder   such   punishments   are   to   bear.      he   can   feel   the   emotion   and   terror   of   that   beginning   to   choke   him.  

she  crosses  her  arms                              satisfied knowing  this  is  how  she  wins  their  ever  constant  fighting. she  pushes  and  pushes  until  she  hits  the  right  spot  ;  she never  takes  a  blind  swing  at  her  son  because  she  doesn't need  to.  "  you'll  find  that  i  very  much  can  "  she  says, having  gotten  the  reaction  she  expected  out  of  him.

she  knows  the  danger  of  it,  too  —  how  he'll  probably  turn into  a  wild  animal  once  he's  trapped  in  his  cage.  but  he brings  it  upon  himself,  time  and  time  again.  "  mind  your language  "  she  says  through  gritted  teeth.  "  you  leave  us with  no  other  option  here.  obviously  you  cannot  be  trusted with  any  freedom  "  her  hand  swipes  across  the  room, designating  the  bottles  behind  picked  up  by  kreacher. "  perhaps  detention  is  how  you'll  learn  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— he couldn't care less and i never cared more / sirius #adveanture

[mctherdearest]

𝐚𝐬𝐤  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 :    𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔  𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔

‘  i’ll  find  you  again ,  wherever  we  end  up  next .  ’

‘  the  enormity  of  my  desire  disgusts  me .  ’

‘  please ,  one  more  kiss  in  the  kitchen  before  we  turn  the  lights  off .  ’

‘  i’ve  been  lost  but  i’m  here  now .  you’re  the  only  person  who  has  ever  been  able  to  find  me .  ’

‘  almost  dead  yesterday ,  maybe  dead  tomorrow ,  but  alive ,  gloriously  alive ,  today .  ’

‘  you  are  not  broken .  ’

‘  you  can  love  and  be  loved ,  despite  what  may  feel  like  the  eternally  brutal  nature  of  the  world .  ’

‘  i  did  violence  to  my  own  heart .  ’

‘  will  i  be  forgiven  for  the  sins  i  did  not  commit ,  but  created ?  ’

‘  i  would  never  kiss  anyone  who  doesn’t  burn  me  like  the  sun .  ’

‘  i  would  rather  break  the  world  than  lose  you .  ’

‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  in  a  few  lifetimes .  ’

‘  i  didn’t  know .  i  had  no  idea  how  greedy  my  heart  really  was .  ’

‘  is  that  why  the  idea  of  losing  you  torments  me  so  much ?  ’

‘  how  long  have  i  been  without  you ?  ’

‘  am  i  foolish  for  wanting  this ?  it  will  end  in  flames .  it  always  does .  ’

‘  sorry  about  the  blood  in  your  mouth .  i  wish  it  was  mine .  ’

‘  if  i  love  you ,  is  that  a  fact  or  a  weapon ?  ’

‘  tell  me  how  all  this ,  and  love  too ,  will  ruin  us .  ’

‘  and  you  realize  the  one  person  in  the  world  who  loves  you  isn’t  the  one  you  thought  it  would  be .  ’

‘  it  cannot  be  a  mistake  to  have  cared .  it  cannot  be  an  error  to  have  tried .  it  cannot  be  incorrect  to  have  loved .  ’

‘  finally ,  i  plead  guilty  of  adoring  you .  ’

‘  a  child  weaned  on  poison  considers  harm  a  comfort .  ’

‘  without  realizing ,  i  find  it  in  myself  that  i  cannot  stop  thinking  about  you .  ’

‘  tomorrow ,  when  i  wake  up ,  i  promise ,  i  will  be  better .  ’

‘  someone  has  to  leave  first .  this  is  a  very  old  story .  there  is  no  other  version  of  this  story .  ’

‘  when  i  imagine  myself ,  i  am  always  leaving .  i  couldn’t  draw  my  own  face  if  god  asked .  ’

‘  do  we  simply  stare  at  what’s  horrible  and  forgive  it ?  ’

‘  i  wanted  to  let  go  of  the  pain  even  though  it  was  the  last  thing  that  felt  alive  from  you .  ’

‘  have  i  endured  loneliness  with  grace ?  ’

‘  i’ll  be  your  slaughterhouse ,  your  killing  floor ,  your  morgue  and  final  resting ,  walking  around  with  this  bullet  inside  me  ‘cause  i  couldn’t  make  you  love  me  and  i  am  tired  of  pulling  your  teeth .  ’

‘  and  then  my  soul  saw  you  and  kind  of  went ,  ‘ oh ,  there  you  are .  i’ve  been  looking  for  you . ’  ’

‘  sometimes  it  feels  like  someone  else  is  wearing  my  body .  ’

‘  i  spent  my  life  arguing  how  i  mattered  until  it  didn’t  matter .  ’ 

‘  who  knew  my  haven  would  be  my  coffin ?  ’

‘  dead  is  the  safest  i’ve  ever  been .  ’

‘  i’ve  never  been  so  alive .  ’ 

‘  you  know  what  i  was  gonna  tell  you  before ,  but  didn’t  have  the  nerve ?  you  got  your  name  written  all  over  me .  i  got  my  name  written  on  you ,  too .  ’ 

‘  you  already  are  something .  you  always  were .  and  you  still  have  time  to  be .  ’

‘  you  know  me  by  heart .  it  infuriates  me  that  you  know  me  by  heart .  ’ 

‘  why  am  i  waiting  for  you ?  hungering  and  thirsting  for  you  in  every  cranny  of  my  soul  and  even  in  my  ribs ?  ’ 

‘  you  came  with  a  handful  of  pain  and  a  smile  which  broke  the  ground  under  my  feet  as  the  earthquake  does  when  two  people  meet .  ’

‘  the  only  good  thing  is  that  i’m  getting  used  to  suffering .  ’

‘  the  return  to  time  was  not  my  choice .  ’

‘  we  are  built  to  live  inside  each  other .  this  means  we  are  built  to  ruin .  ’

‘  time  does  not  bring  relief ;  you  all  have  lied .  ’

‘  time  does  not  know  how  to  keep  our  hopes  safe .  ’

‘  you  needed  me  so  much  that  you  had  to  end  me .  ’

‘  there  are  days  where  i  am  morbidly  in  love  with  you ,  and  this  is  one  of  those  days .  ’

‘  i  know  no  end  to  desiring  you .  ’

‘  i  fear  that  i  am  both  too  much  yet  not  enough .  ’

‘  yes ,  yes ,  yes ,  i  do  like  you .  i  am  afraid  to  say  the  stronger  word .  ’ 

‘  a  heart’s  a  heavy  burden .  ’

‘  life ,  as  i  see  it ,  is  all  about  farewells  rather  than  reunions .  ’

‘  heaven  is  real  and  you  only  had  two  minutes  to  prove  it  to  me .  ’

‘  it  was  already  love .  ’

‘  everyone  desires  love  but  also  finds  it  impossible  to  believe  that  they  deserve  it .  ’

‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to .  ’

‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to  and  then  i’ll  fall  like  my  knees  aren’t  already  bruised  from  doing  it  and  i’ll  remember  why  you’re  worth  the  ache .  ’

‘  of  course  i’ll  hurt  you .  of  course  you’ll  hurt  me .  of  course  we’ll  hurt  each  other .  but  this  is  the  very  condition  of  existence .  ’

‘  nothing  makes  me  sadder  and  nothing  makes  me  happier  than  you .  ’

‘  i  love  you  and  i  do  not  want  to  love  you ,  it  is  too  much  and  too  difficult .  ’

‘  grief  is  just  love  with  no  place  to  go .  ’

‘  i  felt  my  life  with  both  my  hands  to  see  if  it  was  there .  ’

‘  you  do  this ,  you  do .  you  take  the  things  you  love  and  you  tear  them  apart .  ’

‘  i  hope  it’s  love .  i’m  trying  really  hard  to  make  it  love .  ’

‘  if  you  touch  me  again  i  might  burn  up  in  the  cold  air .  ’

‘  i  asked  you  not  to  leave  several  times .  ’

‘  i’ve  only  adored  you  lifetimes  ago  and  here  we  are .  it’s  nice  to  see  you  again .  ’

‘  all  time  ever  does  is  pass  and  all  i  ever  do  is  remember .  ’

‘  i  feel  as  though  we  were  never  strangers ,  you  and  i ,  not  even  for  a  moment .  ’

‘  i’d  choose  you ;  in  a  hundred  different  lifetimes ,  in  a  hundred  worlds ,  in  any  version  of  reality ,  i’d  find  you  and  i’d  choose  you .  ’

‘  nothing  about  this  is  soft  but  we  pretend .  ’

‘  maybe  you  and  i  are  just  a  dream .  ’

‘  i  know  you  loved  me  too ,  you  knew  me ,  and  it  gladdens  my  heart .  ’

‘  i  promise  i  shall  never  give  up  and  that  i’ll  die  yelling  and  laughing .  ’

‘  i  don’t  do  anything  with  my  life  except  romanticize  and  decay  with  indecision .  ’

‘  the  world  was  made  so  that  we  could  find  each  other  in  it .  ’

‘  you  don’t  meet  the  people  you  love ,�� you  recognize  them .  ’

‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  a  few  lifetimes .  ’

‘  this  body  knows  fear  like  a  front  porch  knows  welcome  –  it  is  always  coming  home .  ’

‘  i  miss  you  more  than  i  remember  you .  ’

‘  if  i  could  have  done  it  all  again ,  i  would  have  loved  you  better .  but  i  could  not  have  loved  you  more .  ’

‘  we  could  have  been  happy .  i  know  that ,  and  it  is  perhaps  the  hardest  thing  to  know .  ’

‘  you  want  a  better  story .  who  wouldn’t ?  ’

#— where shall we begin ? open starters.

[mctherdearest]

#— with a face like that / visage. #— ask for forgiveness never permission / youth. #// wally taking the hogwarts express !

[mctherdearest]

andromeda  —  prioriincantatem​

@mctherdearest​ said : ❛   you  betrayed  me .  ❜

“I didn’t.” Andromeda’s voice is strained as she looks at her aunt. Her resolve had been so strong when she’d gotten into the argument with Druella, she’d felt a rush of satisfaction when she’d burned her own face off the family tapestry. Good, she’d thought. I don’t belong here. And she’d left. 

She’d left in a rush that day, but she’s back now, when she knows that her parents and sisters aren’t home. Grimmauld Place feels less daunting now, like less of a prison and more of a ghost. She’d packed her things from her room, and when she’d turned to leave, Walburga was there. She puts her suitcase down.

“I had no choice,” she says. “I know what Bella’s been saying. It’s not true.” She knows Bellatrix’s hatred for Ted. She knows that word has gotten back to the family that Andromeda had gone to the Tonks’ house to stay there after leaving. But Ted’s her friend, nothing more. It hurts to think that her family believes she’s truly that shallow. “This doesn’t have to be the end, Aunt Walburga. I don’t want to lose you.”

she's  heard  of  the  argument                                    as soon  as  it  ended.  weak  druella  !  she's  let  her  own  daughter dishonour  their  name  by  running  off  with  a  mudblood,  and  she couldn't  even  burn  her  from  the  tapestry  herself  ;  andromeda did  it.  in  that  she  recognises  the  free-spirited  girl  she loved,  but  who  chose  the  wrong  side.

knowing  she'd  left  in  a  rush,  she  knew  she  was  bound  to  come  back  sooner  or  later  to  pick  up  her  belongings.  it's  all  a matter  of  waiting  ;  one  afternoon  she  hears  someone  rummaging through  andromeda's  bedroom,  and  she  knows  her  niece  has finally  comes  back.  she  goes  to  confront  her,  and  won't  be her  weak-willed  sister-in-law.

"  which  part  isn't  true,  then  ?  "  her  lips  are  pinched,  her stare  cold  as  ice.  "  you  didn't  run  off  with  a  mudblood  ? you  didn't  abandon  your  family  and  burn  yourself  off  the tapestry  ?  tell  me,  andromeda  ?  "  at  her  sides  her  hands open  and  close,  tensed.  "  you  do  not  want  to  lose  me  ?  you  little  fool  "  she  slaps  her  hard  across  the  face.  "  you don't  even  belong  to  this  family  anymore.  you're  nothing  to me,  blood  traitor.  "

#— old blood ; old name / main verse #— this was the most unkindest cut of all / andromeda. #prioriincantatem #// ugh i love their relationship but this HURTS