mickeys-been-staying-at-ians

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Evan— Buck. Buck…That is—that's what people who know me—that's what they call me.

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no but they're both so affectionate and clingy and definitely not immune to that gravitational pull and they're having so much fun together and isn't that what they both always want to hang out together and have fun and be silly and let loose and here they are and maybe the alcohol works perfectly in that way but who cares when eddie is tucked under buck's arm in a karaoke bar or when they're pushed together by a dancing crowd in a hotel room who cares how they got here if they're here now and who cares if they won't remember any of it tomorrow when tonight feels so good

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Another day, another thinking thoughts about Buck's stutter. How it gets worse when he's nervous. The first time Tommy clocks it is when they have their first 'not an argument but a misunderstanding' and Buck tries to explain himself but he keeps tripping over his words, barely forms a full sentence without his voice shaking, his breath quickens up and Tommy's heart breaks all over because it's not even a big deal— the thing they're discussing, but seeing Evan struggle with his words, seeing him this nervous that he can barely talk, it's painful so he cups Evan's face, looks him in the eye, smiles and says "hey, breathe. it's okay."

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I know you were doing your job. And I'm proud of you for that, but there is a small selfish part of me that wishes you didn't want to anymore.

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buck’s kind of so smart for appearing at the wedding half an hour late, burnt suit, dirty as hell, hungover, and missing the groom because this way when he kisses a man in front of his parents they cannot possibly be more disappointed than they already were

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So I wrote a little something loosely based on this post I made about Eddie subconsciously associating his future wedding as being with Buck- I haven't written for ages but I thought if I was gonna make it into a fic I'd also have an accidental drunk confession to Buck in there- and this is that. If I ever wrote a whole fic of this there'd be no cheating so dw dw

"It must be nice," Buck says from the floor, "Marr-Marriaging, -having a wedding. I want that, I'd want-"

"I know what you want," Eddie laughs confidently from the empty tub. It feels very zen, lying here with his legs hooked over the circular tub, like lying inside a big cereal bowl. He is so drunk, and giddy and totally at peace with everything, "You want a spring wedding because you want a frankly ridiculous amount of flowers. You want it far enough away from the city that you can see the stars at night, but not so far that it'd cost too much for everyone to travel there. You like the idea of releasing lanterns but you're worried about the environment so you'd probably want - like- doves or butterflies instead-"

"Butterflies," Buck says from the floor, his voice thick, "Eddie, what-"

"M'not finished," Eddie continues with the gravitas of someone so hammered they cant feel their legs but who is nevertheless making an Important Point, "Butterflies, then. You want a light coloured suit, something that breathes well because you'll worry about sweating. Bobby would be doing the ceremony, so maybe Athena to walk you down the aisle? And of course Maddie as your best man. Woman. Person."

"… Maddie?"

"Well yeah," Eddie shrugs, transfixed by how the ceiling seems to be slowly tilting to the side, "Because Chris would be mine, and that way they can both be involved."

There's a frantic shuffling noise from the floor, and Buck's voice is much clearer when he speaks again, "Eddie. Eddie are you talking about- me and you getting married?"

"Who else?" And in his alcohol-soaked state, it's as simple as that- who else. God knows he's tried to fit other people into that role and they just never fit right because the void in his life is so decisively Buck-shaped. Haha, God knows, his chest begins to shake with silent laughter, it's funny, right? Because of the Catholicism.

"And that's-" Buck sounds kind of upset, which makes Eddie pause, why would Buck be upset when there's good booze and the ceiling is tilting and they're getting married? "That's something you want- the-the spring wedding and the butterflies and the-"

Oh, Buck's simply misunderstood, that's easy.

"I just wanna be the guy standing next to you."

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911 + Text Posts pt295/?

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crazy to me still how Buck decided he didn't want to correct the woman who assume Christopher is both his and Eddie's child. you literally see him make the conscious decision to let her believe that it is true, not answering right away but really taking the time to choose to do that. he even glances at his back, almost to make sure Eddie is out of ear shot before he says thank you. then he leaves all happy to know that somewhere someone thinks of them as family.

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"why are you screaming ?"

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Where is Christopher while his dads are out being irresponsible, on another business trip?

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Eddie coming to terms with his sexuality and then coming out to Buck in the most fucked up and romantic way possible - by telling him "I reached for you. I was lying in the street thinking this was it, that I was dying and all I wanted was to touch you one more time".

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Some of you were never obliviously down bad for your best friend for years because you weren’t aware of your sexuality and, respectfully, it shows.

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I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post about Eddie just never having thought about dating Buck or anything along that line. Like, the dude has been in emergency after emergency, relationship after relationship and he might just not have had the time or energy to consider it. Buck has been there, but what if he really just has not thought that dating Buck is an option.

So here’s my theory:

Eddie finds out Buck and Tommy are dating and he’s happy for them, Buck seems really happy so that’s all that matters. But then Tommy and Buck hang out more, and Tommy calls Buck “Evan” and Buck goes to Tommy for things he used to go to Eddie for. So Eddie starts having negative feelings towards this that he can’t put a name to. Maybe he thinks he’s homophobic, maybe not, but eventually he goes to Hen for advice and Hen basically says “Eddie you’re just jealous because you want to date Buck.”

And Eddie just stares at her as he realizes that dating Buck is something that he could do, if they were both single, and he starts thinking about it. A lot. Then he figures out he likes guys and maybe he tries dating other men, again maybe not, but he realizes there’s this man who has been there for him for 6 years. A man that he has a completely different relationship with than his bro Tommy and he wants him to be in his life forever. And maybe he’d also like to kiss him. Ya know, maybe. But Bucks happy, and dating Tommy and he seems so free. Eddie can’t ruin that, so some angst happens, naturally, and then all is resolved, buddie is cannon and they all live happily ever after and all that.

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this is what my zero editing skills birthed a minute ago, i hope you are doing better fam!!!

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i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs