missedsteps

[missedsteps]

i am still trying very hard

[missedsteps]

Hey quick note to all my trans sisters;

I love you

You’re absolutely beautiful

No, your voice is not “too deep”

Wear whatever you want

Yes, you are passing. And, even if you aren’t,

You’re still a trans woman regardless of how well you pass

You’re 100% allowed to look and/or act masculine. You’re still a wonderful, real woman

Nobody gets to say otherwise

[missedsteps]

Tips for transgirls

I’ve seen so many of these posts for trans boys but never for the lovely ladies, so here are some tips to feel a bit more feminine if you’re not out

Glossy chapstick, if asked about it say you just have chapped lips and it works well, or if you want a tint and can stand it, those cheap Pepsi/cola chapstick make your lips looks red [you can make them very red or less depending on how much you use]

If your family isn’t too judgey you could wear foundation or just buy it for yourself and say you’re embarrassed about acne or a scar or something,

If you’re more into emo/goth culture thats a good excuse to grow out your hair/wear makeup

You could wear panties under your boxers and just do your own laundry, and buy a feminine outfit you can wear when by yourself, and/or girly sleeping clothes

You can get yourself a pink hello kitty shirt or pink backpack or something like little girls would wear and say you got it to be ironic

If you’ve got a close friend you could get matching rings/necklaces/bracelets and say it’s for friendship or a cute girl/boy made you a bracelet in class and it makes you happy to wear it [or lie about having a close friend and just wear the jewelry]

Spandex. Like the thing to hide your tummy? It accents curves real nice and you can wear it under so many things, or if you can’t do that cuz you’ll get found out get long underwear, like the long black shirt and pants you wear in winter? They work amazing too

Get your ears periced if you can

Write your self a message on you’re phone, using the correct pronouns, or get your backround to “you go, girl!” Or something like that and just say irony/ it was a friends prank and you wanna keep it/ it just empowers you Nd u couldn’t find a “you go, boy!”

Change your blog to be a bit more ‘girly’ and make ur videogame characters girls and use your preferred name!! You can just say its supposed to be a random person or a celebrity really of you want

And get yourself a notebook and write about yourself in like third person using your preferred name and pronouns and if found just say your writing a story or it’s for school

Wear longer socks that cover your calf cause they cover your legs if you can’t shave them

Shave your legs if you can, if not your arms and armpits [just say you sweat a lot and that would help, though there are plenty of cis females who do not shave their arms, so don’t feel pressured too!! ]

Wear girls deordeant if you can

Use lotion. Sounds simple but rlly, mosteruise after you shower, soft skin and plus thats thought of a more feminine activity, plus u can get you some really nice smelling stuff and just says it works well or you didn’t realize it was that strong when you got it or didn’t realise it would smell like that at all

Pinching your cheeks makes them a bit blushy [not for that long] but you could do it when meeting people and such

Get a cute stuffed animal for your bed and just say its from a girl/boy you like or irony

Blow dry your hair instead of towel dry, it makes your hair fluffy and soft

Use girls shampoo or body wash

Wear light colors

Wear tighter clothes or floral things

And remember you are a girl whether you’re out or not or if people believe you

[Feel free to add on and if you have questions or anything, just message me, lovelies!! ♡]

[missedsteps]

Complex PTSD and Me

These are the symptoms I experience and tbh this post is just for me to see how much I can identify with this… 

Emotional Dysregulation  - This involves severe mood swings/dysphoria, impulsive behaviour, self-harm, and suicidal preoccupations. This could result in explosive anger, or extremely inhibited anger, or both. It could also result in either compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (i.e. hypersexuality or sex repulsion/trauma-induced asexuality, or both.) This also involves difficulty expressing and communicating emotions.

Consciousness Instability - Forgetting traumatic events or reliving them is a part of a struggle with consciousness. Sometimes reliving trauma can be either through intrusive thought, or preoccupation with the trauma. This also involves dissociation, which can cause severe consciousness interruption and memory gaps.

Self-Perception Issues - The trauma that causes C-PTSD messes with the ego, so its symptoms results in a skewed perception of self. One might feel helpless, full of shame and guilt, like a constant victim or a horrible person, feel defiled and disgusting, and/or believe they are completely separate from other human beings altogether.

Distorted Views of the Perpetrator - Becoming preoccupied with a perpetrator, whether it’s allotting total power to them, developing a preoccupation with them (such as revenge or seeking to find others exactly like them), or clinging onto the idea of being special to the perpetrator, would all be examples of distorted views.

Struggle With Interpersonal Relationships - Avoidance, distrust, paranoia, a sense of inability to connect with others. One with C-PTSD might also be constantly searching for a ‘saviour’ figure, and could also go to great lengths for self-protection.

Loss or Change in System of Meanings - The beliefs one held before trauma changing or going away completely, such as religious faith, or one being succumbed with despair or feeling like there is no hope.

Revictimization - Those with C-PTSD are particularly vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. Many will be revictimized if they are not taught how to read red flags, as those with C-PTSD may seek to relieve trauma without realizing it because they don’t know anything else.

Hypervigilance - Increased anxiety and sensory input will make the survivor hyperaware of everything in their environment. This may result in paranoia, in extreme jumpiness, etc. Someone with C-PTSD will be constantly feeling like they are in a dangerous situation, and thus be hypervigilant due to that. (This may cause someone to be constantly in fight mode, or flight mode, or freeze mode, etc.)

Unexplained Physical Symptoms - Hypervigilance exhausts the body. This is what most professionals believe leads to chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, headaches, nausea, chest pain, and various other physical symptoms that range from mild to severe. This pain cannot be explained by other existing medical conditions.

Dissociation - Degrees of dissociation range. It is common for those with C-PTSD to deal with chronic dissociation, which can lead to emotional numbness, feeling unable to focus, inability to connect to one’s identity or reality (depersonalization and derealization), and memory loss. To a severe degree, it may result in identity splitting, which would lead to comorbidity with Dissociate Identity Disorder.

Substance Abuse - It’s not uncommon for those with C-PTSD to struggle with substance abuse, whether it’s alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. Some may also use sexual contact in the same way.

Attachment Issues - C-PTSD can cause various problems with attachment, including hyperempathy or a lack of empathy, an inability to accurately perceive other people’s motives, isolation, seeking out codependency, feeling unable to depend on others at all, and not knowing where personal boundaries lie for themselves or others.

Cognition Problems - Executive dysfunction, inability to pay attention, communication problems, sensory overload, object impermanence.

#saving for later

[missedsteps]

I want someone to explain to me this…

How are there more than just two genders? How is it that gender is different from sex? Why would you consider gender to be a social construct? How is gender a spectrum? Why do you feel the need to disassociate gender and sex when biologist have already proved that gender and sex are the same thing?

Personally speaking, I don’t understand why anyone would want to try and push gender identity shit down other people’s throats in the most radical way possible, but it’s fucking annoying as hell. To think that you know better than what biologist have studied for years makes me question your intelligence.

Here’s some food for thought people:

XX chromosomes = Female XY chromosomes = Male

Penis = Male Vagina = Female

Testosterone = Male Estrogen + Progesterone = Female

Gender = Sex

Until you can come up with a reason as to why gender isn’t biological and why I’m a piece of shit for not believing your bullshit, then please stop trying to change around shit just because you hate to hear the opposing voice and accept the facts as they are.

This is an open response to those who believe in the multiple genders/gender spectrum bullshit.

#saving for later #reblogged not read

[missedsteps]

The AMAB Wardrobe

Here is a post that AMAB trans folks might find useful. It is about how to do your makeup, feminize your voice, where to buy wigs etc. 

Note 1: I have not used the shops listed myself, so I cannot give a review on them. Use the websites at your own risk and I cannot be held responsible for anything.  

Note 2: Some of these resources are aimed at crossdressers, or crossdressers along with trans people. I am not lumping AMAB trans folks with cross dressers but I do feel that the resources could be helpful, thus they are included.

Note 3: This post contains information on how to “pass.”  (I’m not a fan of the concept of passing) This post is not trying to make you into the cis world’s idea of a “perfect woman” but instead to give those who want resources for things that will make them feel more comfortable what they want. Remember, if you do all of these, some of these, or none of these it does not make you any more or less of your gender.

Wigs and hair

http://www.wig-supplier.com/ 

http://www.thebreastformstore.co.uk/ 

http://www.annabelleswigs.co.uk/ 

http://www.josephs-wigs.com/ 

http://www.hothair.co.uk/ 

http://www.ewigs.co.uk/ 

http://www.jonrenau.com/ 

How to make short hair look feminine

Hairstyle mistakes to avoid 

Hairstyles that take less than 10 minutes

How to do a french side plait

Makeup 

http://www.eyeslipsface.com/ 

http://www.superdrug.com/ 

http://www.illamasqua.com/

Make up tips for AMAB folks

Make up mistakes to avoid 

Make up tips

How to choose the right foundation

How to feminize your face

Covering facial hair

1950’s makeup tutorial

Voice

Voice feminization video

Voice feminization mistakes to avoid

Feminization voice lesson  1 (Her other lessons can be found on her channel) 

Feminization voice tips

Girl talk. The transgender guide for voice and feminization (also talks about behaviors)

Chest 

Breast Forms

Tape for creating cleavage 

Breast forms

Breast enhancers

Breast forms

Breast forms

Making your silicone bead forms

Finding your bra size

Bras for under $10

Rice bra (A clever and cheap idea!)

Accessories

Jewellery for £5 and under

Hair clips, accessories and brushes for £5 and under

Not badly priced bags

Alternative accessories

Affordable accessories

More affordable accessories

Clothing

http://www.longtallsally.com/

http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/ (does footwear in bigger sizes too)

Dressing Emo/Scene for Trans girls

Trans clothing swap

Doreen (They are an actual physical shop that you can visit too!)

What to wear if you’re broad shouldered

Plus size clothing

http://www.katesclothing.co.uk/ (gothic)

http://www.tkmaxx.com/page/home

Underwear/tucking

Gaffs in sizes up to XXXL

Padded panties

Padded panties

Padded panties

Padded panties

Gaff

Gaff

Tucking

3 different ways to tuck

Movment

Walking like a woman

Walking like a woman in flats and heels

Feminine body language part 1

Feminine body language part 2

Feminine movement mistakes to avoid

Shoes

Best shoes for AMAB folks

Heels in bigger sizes

Isy B- Search tool for feminine shoes in bigger sizes

Payless-Does women’s shoes up to size 13 at affordable prices

Feminine shoes in sizes up to a US 14

#trans reference #amab reference #saving for later

[missedsteps]

What is this project?

Second Puberty is an upcoming edutainment video intended to provide education for trans and non-binary individuals considering starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). We’ll be using a number of old puberty videos as our inspiration – you know, the ones you saw in middle school that taught you all about the joys of menstruation, wet dreams, and increased body odor – and updating them with essential information about the experience of “second puberty.”Second Puberty will touch on both the physical and emotional aspects of HRT, offering an honest, celebratory, and humorous look at the experience.

The Second Puberty team includes experienced sex educators, and will be collaborating with a number of medical professionals and individuals currently undergoing HRT in order to provide a well rounded, diverse look at the wide range of second puberty experiences out there.

Why is this needed?

To the best of our knowledge, no one’s ever created a professional video on the subject of what to expect from HRT as a trans/non-binary individual. Furthermore, most of the information that exists on the topic isn’t easily accessible or understandable for the general population – it’s very dense, with a great deal of medical terminology that can make it difficult to understand at worst (and very, very boring at best). Our aim is to create something that’s entertaining and easy to understand – breaking down the experience of HRT in a way that’ll make sense for everyone.

Though Second Puberty is primarily intended for people who are considering going on HRT, it will also be helpful for family members, partners, friends, and allies of trans and non-binary individuals as well, allowing them to understand the experience of HRT as they seek to support the trans and non-binary individuals in their lives.

Support the project here!

[missedsteps]

Wanted to share this with my girls!!

#this is a big deal #probably not for me but i’m so happy progress is not just being made but even being attempted

[missedsteps]

I’ve compiled this list of resources to help trans people like myself. Even if you’re not trans and/or can’t use any of this, please reblog for the sake of others. Thanks! Update: I would like to apologize for my use of the asterisk in the original version of this post; it has been removed from this version. I will also be making an updated list with more resources soon, so please keep an eye out and reblog that once I post it. Thank you for spreading this so much! Passing The Tumblr Transgender Clothes Exchange How to Take Measurements Reflectore Voice Pitch Tracker Masculinizing The FTM’s Complete Illustrated Guide to Looking Like a Hot Dude The Male Fashion Fit Guide AK’s Guide to Suits (this is a drawing guide, but contains useful info) Throat Exercise to Deepen Voice Big Brother Binder Repository & Re-Disbursement Program In a Bind Binder Donations Underworks Pullover Binders Discreet STP Device The Do’s and Don’ts of Chest Binding Feminizing Women’s Clothing Terminology Tucking How-to Guide Realistic Breast Form Tutorial The Breast Form Store Mastectomy Bras with Built In Flap for Breast Forms How to Contour and Highlight Using Makeup How to Apply Eyeliner with a Spoon How to Apply Foundation How to Apply Blush How to Apply Eyeshadow Emergency National Suicide Prevention Lifeline IMAlive Online Crisis Network Transgender Housing Network Legal National Center for Transgender Equality Transgender Law Center Change your Name for Free - Civil Indigent Status (Tumblr post) Copwatch Infographic Guide Medical Transgender Surgeons in the U.S. Center of Excellence for Transgender Health FTM Hormone Guide FTM Surgery Guide MTF Hormone Guide MTF Surgery Guide Mcalc Gender Neutral Menstruation Calculator Mental + Support Online Gender Therapy (can also issue letters of recommendation) Emotional Baggage Check TransSpace Reddit School + Education Trans Student Equality Resources Study Abroad for GLBT Students Applying to College as a Non-Binary Trans Person Additional Resources Susan’s Place Transgender Resources and Forums Laura’s Playground Transgender Resources

[missedsteps]

TRANS WOMEN RESOURCES MASTER POST

[missedsteps]

How is denying trans women their identity violence? I'm not trying to be a dick or say that trans women are not women or anything like that, just when I hear the term "violence" I think of physical assault? Is my definition of violence too narrow?

I would say your definition is too narrow. Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence. Emotional and psychological abuse are violence. It hurts the survivors in ways that are not physical. It causes trauma. Denying trans women their identity causes hurt and harm. A trans friend once explained to me that the wrong pronoun feels like tiny knives. That’s what I think of when I think of violence against trans folks. No one can thrive in that environment.

#reblogging for the link #saving for later

[missedsteps]

@klezmer-un-anarkhizm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6ro2R3esHA

[missedsteps]

i havent said everything there is to say but i dont feel like i need to explain anymore. i guess thats fine. this is very strange. it's like reverse dissociation.

[missedsteps]

idk i guess its just this comic would be so incredibly meaningful and amazing for me IF not for the fact that it’s so incredibly clear to me that the only stories i’ll ever be able to feel my self in are the ones based around suicide and suffering, and my mental illness and personal issues destroying the lives of everyone around me. i know thats not what i’m supposed to take away from this story, and it’s really not, but it is quite explicitly a story about self destruction. the comic is so honest about it. so unflinching. it doesnt shy away from the rough parts of living like this. of people like me. the parts no one talks about because it’s dangerous or damaging or feeds into the worst things people think about mentally ill people or gay people or gnc people. people dont ever show these things, but it’s so incredibly important because theyre real and hiding them just makes them fester, isolating us and making us inflict the same pain on ourselves that we are afraid of from the world. i dont know. i know it’s not the same.

i cant remember where i was going with that. something that would sum up all my feelings in one sentence that three weeks from now would mean nothing to me and feel shallow and empty. half way through the thought though it just disappeared. i dont know

this comic does mean so incredibly much to me. that even at the greatest extremes of my mental illness and who i am, the things i hide from everyone, there are still people who understand. i just wish it could show me an ending for people like this that isnt any of the ones i expect. i’m sure they will. i just doubt it will be able to be one i want.

there are so many unbelievably specific moments. things i never thought i’d see reflected back. this comic hurts in ways i didnt know i could hurt

i’m sorry. i just needed to talk about this for a while. nothing is wrong. i’m safe and i’m not planning or even thinking about anything. it’s just so jarring to see these things. to see all these things i have done that i thought were so incomprehensible. singular and utterly unexplainable. and to see them done by someone so incredibly like me. it’s so weird to say but it makes me feel less crazy i guess? like, i’m not the only one this crazy? i’m just a normal amount of crazy for the amount of crazy that i am? that sentence doesnt make any sense. that i’m not an island of ultimate suffering and delusion and danger. idk.

moments before reading this comic i was talking to my girlfriend about how i felt improbable. how i felt like the horrifying mess of disorders and issues and pathologies that describe me just feel infinitely unlikely. that my back story feels like something a bad fanfiction writer would come up with for the most boring punching bag ever. idk.

i dont feel as unlikely anymore. it’s nice to see that i am not beyond anything that could be considered relatable

this comic is immeasurably important to me. i’d be lying if i didnt say that it hurt me though.

i dont know.

#probably best not to read #i'm sorry i dont know why i'm writing these things much less posting them #i was just now carrying in a 40lb box of cat litter and the strap broke and the corner of the box landed on my foot #i wonder if it broke #i should wear shoes more often #i dont know why i'm still writing tags #i guess i'm just trying to fill the silence #i'm not stupid

[missedsteps]

the only parts of my self that i can still see my self in are the parts that hurt the most. every other part falls away. just window dressing as i keep trying to "reinvent myself". i see my self so clearly in every part of sugar.

#this comic has moments that it feels like no one could ever understand #moments that are so improbably specific #moments of my life that feel so singular that no one could ever have felt them before #which is ridiculous and conceited and honestly speaks of the very mental illness #but #i have just never seen my self reflected back like this before #i'm still not sure if this is a good or bad feeling #how would i know

[missedsteps]

i wish this wasnt the only way i could see my self in something

[missedsteps]

i dont know how to say things about it