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don't know where, don't know when | joon-young | fin | re: mitsuo
The moment Mitsuo came to his side, Joon stopped sobbing. All he really wanted to have was the other nearby, some kind of comfort. He turned his head slightly to see the other as they sat side by side, his face wet with tears, his eyebrows a straight line.
Mitsuo’s words were heartening, but also painful. Joon felt bad that he had not been able to see this is what he had been feeling. Perhaps he was not as emotionally intelligent as he liked to pretend he was. Really, Mitsuo was the mature one here, and he was a child, begging for attention.
Joon-young turned around and wrapped Mitsuo in a tight embrace. One hand held the back of his head, and he brushed it slowly with his fingers, tenderly, hoping that just for now he could make him feel safe and loved.
“I love you,” he murmured. His voice didn’t break, but was instead filled with an epiphany of happiness.
“I don’t want you to forget me because I didn’t want all of this to mean nothing. But even if you forget about me… it didn’t mean nothing. I’ll never regret falling in love with you. As hard as it is for me to accept it, no one needs to remember it for it to be real. I’m happy that I could love you, and that you could love me. I’m happy.”
He pulled away just enough so that he could kiss him softly on the lips. He wished he could go back to the day they had kissed side by side at the piano. But maybe he would get to relive it a second time.
“We’ll meet again, Michu.” He smiled with tears in his eyes, before he reached up to the podium to place his vote.
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A Softer M.A.H.O.U. - Post 5 (A Softer Sea edition)
All text is from @asoftersea, a fancomic based on A Softer World! (Read at own risk, as like A Softer World, some content may have sensitive topics or images (insects, death, insect death, the apocalypse, and others))
[Airi death art by Cam]
[Kris death art by Pate]
[Joon-young death art by Leo]
[Mi-ke death art by Leo]
[Mio death art by Cam and Limit]
[Shiba death art by Cam and Pate]
[Sollith death art by Cam and Pate]
[Yukie + Zoya death art by Cam]
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[Kris, Mi-ke, and Miyu art by me] (birthday art hasn’t been posted)
[Miyu + Takako art by Sieves]
[Mother and Child silhouette from vectorstock]
[Otohiko art by Pate]
[Shinobu Kanamori SHAWN KENTUCKY art by Lag]
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A Softer M.A.H.O.U. - Post 4
[Airi death art by Cam]
[Jinzaemon death art by Cy]
[Kris death art by Pate]
[Joon-young death art by Leo]
[Mi-ke death art by Leo]
[Mio death art by Cam and Limit]
[Shiba death art by Cam and Pate]
[Sollith death art by Cam and Pate]
[Takako “death” art by Sieves]
[Yukie + Zoya death art by Cam]
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[Clove, Miyu, and Reiko art by Keri]
[Haru art by Sieves]
[Joon x Mitsuo art by Leo]
[Michaela art by Pate]
[Takako art by Sieves]
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joon is gonna spend all 7 hansats
Blue Potion : Oddly reminiscent of RPG items. Glugging this thing down restores 2 MP. One use only.
Fingerless Gloves : A simple pair of black fingerless gloves for when you wear out your other pairs of black fingerless gloves. Seriously, you can’t have too many of these around, right?
Wound-Cleaning Potion : A purple liquid that is used to sterilise wounds as an antiseptic of sorts. It smokes and stings awfully so when applied. Ouch! One use only.
Cheese Curds : A bag of cheddar cheese curds. Can be eaten on their own or as a topping.
Sonorus [Spell] : A minor spell that magnifies the caster’s voice. The wand serves as a makeshift microphone. The volume of the voice is dependent on the strength of the spell. It lasts for a limited time.
Cleaver : Perfect for chopping stuff up, this chef’s knife is a welcome addition to any pantry - but this one ended up in the possession of the kamaitachi. The only thing that distinguishes it from the cleavers in the kitchen is how ornate it is: it’s crafted from gold and the handle is wrapped.
Sound Canceling Headphones : Wireless battery powered headphones, when turned on the sound around you is shut out! Great for ignoring those annoying people in your life.
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i dont know how many hansatsus i have but pwease sirs
Kuda-gitsune : Also known as a pipe fox. It resembles a fluffy noodle. They’re commonly find inside bamboo pipes.
Silver Headpiece [NPC Quest] : A silver headpiece with a loop meant to go around one’s head, there’s six spikes radiating out at the back like light rays that are connected by tabs of metal. Scratched on it are two words in a language you are unable to read. You feel this might have significance to someone here.
Kotaro Minami : It’s the man, the myth, the legend! Kamen Rider Black’s Kotaro Minami stands before you ..!! … As a cardboard cutout. Jeez why would anyone want this (though he is very handsome).
Panda Charm : A phone strap charm in the shape of a cute panda head.
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a coward til the end / joon-young / chapter 4 exe reaction
Joon-young had kept silent throughout the remaining proceedings after his little speech. Farah’s retaliation had affected him more than he cared to admit, and he would surely be thinking on it for quite a while before he could come up with any response, if he was even worthy of giving one.
Mitsuo was being a loudmouth dumbass as usual, but Joon couldn’t criticize anything he was saying; in his heart he kind of agreed, though not so aggressively. Plus, they were in the same boat now. If anything, he was worse than Mitsuo; at least the other had left Tenpo to die without having to face the cruel ending himself. Joon had stared down at Airi, his victim, pushing her down into the water, watching the life fade from her eyes and her body grow limp and cold and still. He had done it for several minutes. Several minutes where he could have stopped and gone back. But he hadn’t. And he hadn’t even reaped the proper consequences for his crime. His sins kept flashing clear as day whenever he closed his eyes, haunting his every waking moment.
And not only that, but he had also gotten the person he liked most in this place (and that was putting it lightly) to help him and take all the blame for him. After all he had done to try and prove to the other that it was a good thing to make friends and form attachments to others… this had probably not helped matters any. He bet Mitsuo regretted ever getting close to him.
It was ironic that his next victim was also killed by water. At this point Joon never wanted to see another body of water again. He was no hero by any means, to the point where he couldn’t even watch the execution fully, closing his eyes are the more disturbing parts, digging his nails into his palms enough to make indents. He had already seen someone die by his hand. He’d had enough.
Had he really not made a mistake? How could all this death be nothing but a mistake? No, no, I did what I had to do. I had no choice. They made me.
How long could he run from that responsibility, I wonder?
When the execution was over and they were allowed to leave, Joon-young hurried on out. He wasn’t prepared to see the emotional aftermath of what he had done. Never did he say he was anything more than a coward.
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間違いなかった | joon-young | chapter 4 trial | result reaction
When Farah came to pat him on the head, Joon said nothing. He made no reaction, just stayed perfectly still. Weirdly still, in fact; but it seemed the focus was not at him at all any more, but on the mastermind trial. Which was very, very convenient for him.
As the results rolled around, Joon stayed crouching behind his pensieve, face in his hands. He was immobile for a while, until finally the votes were counted… And Joon let out an audible sound of relief, such relief that it mixed with a sort of choked sobbing sound. He stood back up again, a little shaky, face still behind his hands as he peeked out from them with red eyes.
There was of course hatred, but also somehow forgiveness, coming at him from all sides. Joon listened attentively, hooked on their every word. His expression was hidden.
After people had said their peace, Joon slowly removed his hands from his face.
“I didn’t make a mistake.”
The tears had made his makeup run, and he had wiped it away, revealing a dark bruise on his left cheek. The work of Airi in her final moments, no doubt.
“Please, Mitsuo. You don’t have to take the fall for me any more. I’m alive now. You… saved my life. I don’t think ‘thank you’ is nearly enough to say…”
He swallowed, hoping the intense gratitude and affection in his eyes would be enough to convey to Mitsuo how he truly felt.
“But I didn’t make a mistake. That’s where you’re wrong.” His eyes fell to the space in the middle of the trial room, and though he spoke firmly it was filled with a shaky bitterness and melancholy. “It was no mistake to save everyone’s memories. Memories outlive us. If nobody has any memory of us, then wouldn’t that render our whole existences up to now completely pointless? Wouldn’t it render every accomplishment, every time we had helped someone, or loved someone, completely obsolete? I would rather be dead.
“And yet… I was so afraid to die. Because I’m selfish. So I did what I could not to die. Maybe some of you want to act like a martyr and say you would sacrifice yourself if you were in my shoes, but don’t act like you don’t understand it. Is it so bad, to be selfish? Is it so bad to value your own life?”
He looked to Farah now, wearing a distasteful frown.
“Think about what you’re saying. Death doesn’t mean anything here? Maybe not to you. But people have lives outside of this place. Maybe people have dreams. Friends and family. Maybe they want to get married, or have a family, or whatever, and every time someone dies in here we’re taking all of that away. You really think all that is so insignificant?”
After that, he glanced sadly at the deceased people in the room, unable to express the deep sympathy he felt towards them.
“I really love you all. You really thought I would have sold you all out, just so Mitsuo could go free by himself? It really says a lot that you think that he would kill everyone here and leave by himself, and that I would sell you all out just because I lov– I’m so close to him. You really have no clue what kind of person I am. Though I doubt after all this you will want to try to find out.”
After all that, the grief finally hit Joon. The grief over his lost reputation that he had so painstakingly built for himself among his classmates. Even as he explained himself, and told the truth about how he felt about his misdeeds, he felt so deeply upset by his own insensitivity. He didn’t want to be seen like this.
“It’s not like– It’s not like everything up to now has been fake. Like I secretly hated you all or something. I… I will never forgive myself for this, even if I think I didn’t make a mistake.”
There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to explain his whole life story, the reasons why he had done this, done everything up until now, what he was feeling and why. But he had said enough already. The old Joon would have gone on and on begging for forgiveness and making excuses for himself. But in his place, he had learnt differently.
“As Shin-chan said, the real enemy here is the Ouryuu. I understand if some of you have violent intentions towards me after this - I probably would too if something happened to someone I cared about - but you would be kidding yourself if you didn’t accept that’s exactly what the Ouryuu and their assistant wants us to do. You can’t hate Mitsuo, or Miyu or anyone for simply submitting to the immense pressure the Ouryuu placed on us. So, I’m going to try and solve this. Not to redeem myself. I just want this to all be over.”
With a bow of his head, he picked up his wand and put it back in his pocket. His silence signaled the end of his speech.
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i’m sorry | joon-young | chapter 4 trial | re: mitsuo, miyu, mi-ke
Joon-young was looking pissed by this point as Clove and Kris rummaged around on Mitsuo’s person. He knew it was all part of the proceedings and all, and yet he couldn’t control the protective anger that had reached boiling point after all these accusations.
“Can you people keep your fucking hands off Mitsuo for two seconds?! I know you love to hate him, but can’t you show him some respect? Barely any of you have given him the time of day since the moment we stepped in this place!”
Now that didn’t sound biased at all. Though he did also think that Mitsuo did a lot to deserve his reputation, Joon couldn’t stop himself from voicing his feelings in defense. Even if it made everyone think worse of him right now, he had lost any care for that, which, if you knew him, was a huge deal.
After all this, it was finally Miyu who got through to him. She even went as far as to call him ‘Joon,’ which he fell for, hook, line and sinker. Joon held her gaze with unusually emotional eyes, chest rising and falling with every deep breath. But despite her wise, thoughtful words, he couldn’t help but feel a little resentful.
“You want my wand? Here, have it,” he said, taking out his wand and placing it on the pensive with an almost childish anger. “This is all going to shit anyway.”
Just as Miyu was starting to win him over, Mi-ke words stabbed his heart like knives.
‘Nothing you can do will save Mitsuo Ueno at this point.’
Joon’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish’s. What was that supposed to be? A threat?
It wasn’t like he didn’t already know it to be true.
“We– We’re not each other’s enemies. The Ouryuu and the assistant are our enemies,” he said uselessly. He wasn’t sure where he was going with it. It was clear. He was giving up.
He turned slightly back towards Miyu again, eyes downcast and unable to meet hers.
“I don’t want him to die. I don’t want anyone to die. I swear, I… I… I don’t want to die... I’m scared…”
His voice pulled taut as he spoke, until the emotion overwhelmed him and cut it off. Guilt, sorrow, fear– Mostly fear. His eyes scrunched shut, but nothing could stop the tears that spilled over. Opening them again, he gave an uncomfortable and deeply strained look towards Mitsuo, before quickly covering his face with both hands.
“I don’t want to die… I’m sorry…”
Joon-young sunk to a crouching position, almost completely obscured behind his pensive. There was no way he would allow anyone to see his ugly crying face. Without another word, he lowered his head, and reached up to place his vote.
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the fear | joon-young | chapter 4 trial re: mitsuo, shinobu mostly
Joon did not look pleased by the unfolding events, closing his eyes and wearing a reprimanding frown.
“Can you all stop calling me Myung-ssi or Myung-san? Honestly, I thought we had moved past such formalities by now.” That was what he was worried about right now? Okay.
Despite the fact that he was obviously trying to defend Mitsuo, he looked annoyed and exasperated whenever the boy in question started speaking. That was how it tended to go down in every trial, you may have noticed.
“Michu, wanna stop making everyone try to hate you as usual? You’re putting way too much suspicion on yourself.” He sounded like a chiding parent. “And thanks for passing the buck onto me, by the way, real charming.”
He made no comment on the missing wand thing. Mysterious.
“Seriously. I wish I could show you what’s in my closet, or what my major spell is, if it would clear my name. But I just don’t want to, okay? So stop bugging me and figure it out on your own.”
It wasn’t typical for Joon to sound so frustrated and rude. Either they were onto something, or just completely missing the mark.
“Just like Hikaru said, I also wrote some notes about people and the writing disappeared when I lost my memory of them. So Mitsuo couldn’t have written a note about me to remember me. I can’t imagine him doing that anyway…”
When Shinobu started to speak, Joon met his gaze firmly, arms crossed. However, he couldn’t maintain such a cool expression for long. His eyes filled with sympathy and hurt as his story continued, and he wished he could go give him a hug or a pat on the back or something. Looks like Tsukuyomi had that covered, though.
‘Do you want anyone— Ueno to die if we get it wrong?’
Ouch. That stung. For once, Joon didn’t know what to say– Of course he didn’t want Mitsuo to die, of course not–
“You know I also might die if we get it wrong? Why would I want to get it wrong? Don’t insult me.”
He sounded a little breathless and on-edge, hands stuffed indignantly in his pockets. As Shinobu went on to plead Mitsuo to find his happiness, Joon could feel tears threatening to form at the corners of his eyes, and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. He loved Shinobu for saying such a thing to Mitsuo, but why did he have to say it now?
“Please, just– P-please leave him alone.” His voice was strained, ended by a difficult swallow.
He ignored Reiko’s accusations against him. Right now his whole being was concentrated entirely on Mitsuo, who he watched with bated breath from across the podiums.
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a gay can dream | joon-young | chapter 4 trial | re: reiko, hikaru, shiba
Joon didn’t have time to appreciate Miyu being there and trying to bring up the Ouryuu’s helper. He was also more interested in solving that than what was happening here; Ouryuu was the real criminal, after all. But time dictated what they must talk about.
Starting with Reiko, people began to single out none other than… Mitsuo. Joon looked alarmed, and even a little surprised, glancing at the pink-haired boy in question before returning to his steely gaze. It was clear he was trying to remain impartial, though most people would probably be able to guess his bias.
“Well, just because he has those doesn’t mean anything. Who knows when he used those potions, and for what reason.”
He looked like he was thinking hard, cogs whirring in his mind.
“Maybe he just, uh… Wanted to, uh… Transform into me for a day, and admire my face in the mirror? Hahaha.”
This is just embarrassing.
“What’s most important is how did the shirt get into the dorm if the secret entrance wasn’t used? Maybe the lock was broken as a distraction from the fact that they actually used the front entrance…?
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self defense class | joon-young | chapter 4 trial re: mitsuo, mi-ke
This was going downhill fast. Nearly everyone was pinning this on Mitsuo. With an uncomfortable feeling in his gut, Joon kept glancing over at the boy in question, appearing to begin to lose his cool.
“You guys aren’t serious, right? Michu wouldn’t kill two people and then just dump the rest of us and leave.” Well, he wasn’t sure about the rest of them, but.
“Even if he forgot about me, he wouldn’t do that… He’s not that kind of person.” Perhaps he was the only one who thought that way… He said this, and yet he had no evidence to actually prove it, which didn’t make for a very strong case.
Then, just as emotions were running high, Mi-ke pushed the steering wheel to make the ship head straight for Joon-young. He had been expecting it, but he had not been in the head-space for defending himself yet.
“Oh boy. Let’s get into this then, shall we?” He sounded tired. “First of all, I’m not Kunie’s only friend. Though I really do wish more of you made an effort, I know you at least are friends with them, Mi-ke. Therefore, you can’t just make me the suspect based on that alone. Maybe the suspect used invisibility magic or something too, we don’t know.
"Second, just because I didn’t let people see inside my closet doesn’t mean I did anything. It could be completely unrelated to the case. Or maybe I could be covering for someone else. I’ll leave it up to your imagination.
"And lastly, I would rather refrain from demonstrating my major spell. This is a strategy, you know? If I reveal my major spell now, then people are going to tell that it was me if I used it again in future. Not that I ever plan to do anything malicious with it, but you know. I’d rather take precautions.”
Joon folded his arms and peered off to the side, indicating he had finished speaking.
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cool cat | joon-young | chapter 4 trial | re: tranq, clothes, shiba
If Joon-young was doing worse than he usually was, it was difficult to tell from his appearance. He was a model, immaculate as ever, hair preened and clothes without a crease or wrinkle. There was a little bit of a slouch in his posture, as if he was having difficulty keeping himself upright, but it was almost unnoticeable.
Given how the investigation had gone, he knew this was going to be a tough day. He was more of a lover than a fighter.
Once at the podium, he looked around the room with a level expression. Unreadable as always, the charismatic model crocked one hand on his hip and prepared to enter the debate.
“I was under the impression that the tea had the tranquilizer or whatever in it, and was used on both Zoya and Airi. There was only one vial found after all, right?”
He continued. “The reason for knocking out Zoya? I think it was to take some of the clothes from the laundry. Then they got scattered everywhere… for some reason. Usually I would love to talk about clothes, but this is the exception. But Shiba-tan, could you explain a bit more who has a clothing-related spell in this class? My clothing-related spell is that I can… Well, Michu knows it. I can turn my shoes into high heels, to put it briefly.
“Something that stood out was one of Mi-ke’s long-sleeved t-shirts, wet and glittery, found in the Seiryuu common room. Anyone know what that was doing there?”
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