nerdpoe

[nerdpoe]

It's Dash's first time out of Amity Park, and he's just found another ghost! But like, one that's like Phantom! More solid and stuff!

He had to be smuggled out by his mom's sister twice removed, and he had to pack a lot of stuff. The entire time they were whispering about "going to ground" and "it's for his own good", but Dash was way too excited about leaving Amity Park to pay too much attention to that stuff.

The outside world is wild. Lots of people have powers like him, and the cops don't beat the shit out of them for it!

Okay well some do, but not like in Amity!

The internet is so much bigger and better than inside Amity, he has a rectangle with a screen that he can touch and it's a phone, there's this thing called tiktok, bluetooth is a thing that exists and that's wild, and...he's just really having a great time.

But!

During a...ghost attack? Maybe not a ghost, just some dude with powers and issues throwing a tantrum.

While that guy attacks the twice removed aunt Dash is with, a ghost hero like Phantom shows up!

He has to talk to this dude!

He waits until he's finishing up wiping the floor with the idiot to speak up, though. Super rude to interrupt a fight.

"Hey! Hey, there's more of you guys?! I thought Phantom was the only one!"

In a blink, the ghost-like-Phantom is floating in front of him, eyes weirdly intent.

"There's other Kryptonians?" he asks, sounding shocked.

"Is that what you're called? Yeah, Phantom; he's in Amity Park."

"I've never heard of that place."

"Well yeah, no one's allowed to leave."

"Superman," his twice removed aunt speaks up, tugging Dash until he's behind her. "Please. The entire town is being targeted by the government, and anyone who tries to report it ends up missing."

The hero, Superman (what a lame name), hesitates, and then nods.

"Alright, lets get you folks to safety. We'll sort out the rest later."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #phanfic #story prompt #clark thinks phantom is kryptonian #because dash doesn't know about life outside of amity park and mistook him for the same kind of ghost #the only reason the fentons were able to leave to visit vlad was because #lets be real #who the hell could stop them #they also don't see a need to call out for help tho #and danny kind of stuck close to them and didn't pay attention #so he didn't realize how wildly different the world was #clark's gonna be disappointed when he realizes Phantom isn't a kryptonian

[nerdpoe]

oracle, ban this guy

(some shitpost while i work on that bernard comic)

[nerdpoe]

Command

Arguing at the Wayne gala was probably not the best idea but here they were

" Daniel I command that you-! '

Danny slowly turned to face Vlad his eyes faintly glowing green

" Command? "

Danny leaned forward into Vlad's space

" I am your King you do not command me. "

Vlad jerked back a step his eyes flashing red

" Is that understood Plasmius. "

~

Just an Idea

#danny is meeting all of bruce's requirements #there's a mystery #the government is covering it up #either not human or meta and hunted for it #why is the kid commanding the adult #danny you'll never shake the bats now

[nerdpoe]

why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

[nerdpoe]

oh no you've antagonized them

it is literally almost 2am and im sitting here being scared of the united states like what the fuck there are so many people there!!!!! and they're all just speaking with their american accent like hello??? how do you not just laugh all the time. americans wake up and go to their american jobs and american schools that's so fucking weird. i imagine it as a fake place because it's where everywhere on tv is.

[nerdpoe]

sorry just

~~~~~~

Dick slid out of the coffee shop, heart pounding a mile a minute, and caught a glimpse of black hair as it darted into an alley.

His phone was against his ear before he even realized he'd pulled it from his pocket.

"Dick, I'm a little busy, is there something-?"

"I think I have a Sailor Moon situation!"

"I don't know what that is."

"But I do! Grayson, how old is your child?"

"Child?" Bruce's voice cracked.

"Teenager! Black hair, blue eyes, hasn't grown into his limbs yet! I scared him away and I'm trying to find him again!" Dick shouted, rounding the corner and meeting the panicked teens eyes for a very brief moment.

Then the teen turned and did a flawless Amanar flip off of the dumpster, latched onto the bottom of the fire escape, and did a kip to get himself fully on it.

It was a little difficult for Dick to do one handed, but he mimicked the kids moves and started climbing the fire escape after him.

"Grayson, update! Have you found the wayward child!"

Dick was about to answer, having just reached the rooftop, only to see the kid run full tilt to the edge of the roof, jump off, grab a metal pipe, and pull off a perfect quadruple flip to the other building.

"Holy shit that really is my kid!"

However, by the time Dick reached the other building's fire escape, the Sailor Moon Grayson was gone.

~~~~~~

Danny was fucking mortified he'd just called a random dude Tata and then gotten chased and so he couldn't go invisible.

He was never talking again.

He was never going to go out in public again.

He could never be seen in Bludhaven ever again!

The first time Danny sees Dick Grayson he calls him Tata.

Danny, in his Ghost Zone travels, befriended the Flying Graysons. John and Mary like him so much, that it started as a joke, sort of.

"Ahhhhh, the son we never had! Welcome!"

"My little Robin's long lost little brother, come, come!"

And it morphed into him jokingly calling them Tata and Daj. Then it wasn't really a joke anymore.

Then the Observants inform him that as far as Ghost Law is concerned, they're his Ghost Guardians.

This means that Danny has two sets of parents; Jack and Maddie on the human side of things, and John and Mary on the ghost side of thing.

So when he sees Dick Grayson, who looks a lot like John, it just slips out.

This leads to a very awkward stare off in the middle of a coffee shop.

Danny has no idea how to explain himself.

#phiclet #ficlet #i wrote a little splurge #the batfam is trying to find the future grayson child #danny doesn't know because he dipped #barbara finds him tho #he's forced to face the technically older brother #it's not that big of a deal but he's fourteen so it's mortifying for him

[nerdpoe]

A Favor for a Gift

Danny's new to the superhero scene, and he gets on rather well with Martian Manhunter.

He decides to give J'onn a gift, because he came across J'onn in a melancholy mood, and the Martian explained that he was homesick. Danny learned a lot about Mars and Martian culture, after telling him that he could vent to Danny if he wanted, and wants to do a little something to help J'onn out.

He goes to the Zone, searching for Martian ghosts to talk with. He finds Ghostwriter. Or rather, Ghostwriter finds him.

He proposes a deal.

He'll let Danny have two very old, very rare Martian books; but in exchange, Danny owes him. Big Time.

Danny....asks what the favor would be, cuz he's not about to agree to that without knowing what he's agreeing to.

Ghostwriter needs Danny to go enter into a Ghost Fighting Competition, the biggest in the Zone, because the prize is a book that not only does Ghostwriter not have, but the only copy of it's kind ever.

Danny agrees; he kicks ghost ass all the time, a fighting competition shouldn't be a problem. Pff. He'll be fine.

Okay he's a little nervous.

He pushes it down.

He gets one of the books early, as trade for even entering the competition in the first place, and rushes to give it to J'onn.

He's trying to psych himself up for the fight, but his intrusive thoughts keep making him remember the fights he's lost. He's just not good with stage fright! Fighting as a hero is one thing, but fighting in a competition is nervewracking!

~~~~

J'onn, getting a surface read of Phantom's mind, is concerned.

Due to Phantom being dead, not all of his thoughts are...legible. J'onn only gets flashes here or there, maybe emotions.

J'onn just got a flash of a coliseum, with stands filled to the brim, and another flash of Phantom losing in a fight.

Phantom is nervous.

Phantom, who's powers are so strong he can fight on equal footing with Superman, is nervous.

It is not the normal anxiety he can feel from the young ghost, it is something else.

Phantom tells him that he knows where another book is, he just needs to win it.

J'onn has heard of how Vicious Infinite Realms Ghosts can be, and it is reasonable to assume that Phantom being nervous is a direct result of a fight he knows he can't win.

A fight he's going to try to win anyways. For the sake of a book.

Phantom is worth more than a simple book.

Phantom disappears before J'onn can request that he not do that, leaving the Martian standing there with a book older than he is, with the knowledge that one of his friends is about to face...something. Some sort of danger.

And all J'onn can do is wait.

Naturally, he refuses to do that and calls the JLD to track down Phantom.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #royal rumble au #martian manhunter hunts down phantom #he is very worried about his ghostly friend #by the time jld gets him to the infinite realms he realizes he shouldn't be #he instead decides to watch the fights as moral support #he is very proud of phantom #look at him go beating up ghosts four to five times his size

[nerdpoe]

"Good, you're here. We need you to repair the cooling unit." Batman said, letting his frustrations leak into his voice. He didn't get why Clark was angry at him, and the Super wasn't telling him why.

"Understood. Is there anything else in that area that you need done?" Fenton asked, voice doing that weird layered thing it did, the thing where it sounded like two of him were speaking at once.

"No. Get to work."

"Of course sir. I'll just be on my way to do that then. Goodbye."

Superman, down the hall, let out a strangled wheezing-honking sound and doubled over.

What Superman heard;

"Understood. Is there anything else in that area that you need done?" "I already fixed it four hours ago you controlling jackass, you're just too caught up in yourself to notice that the air coming out of the vent is cool. Maybe if you got rid of the BDSM gear, that wouldn't be an issue."

"Of course sir. I'll just be on my way to do that then. Goodbye." "What work dumbass, it's already done. Whatever, you may be the best furry detective of all time but you aren't maintenance. Little worried if you were, actually, because given your fursuit and leather the station would probably be full of really inappropriate toys. Dildo light fixtures, BDSM hanging chairs; just stay in your lane, bro."

So, Danny gets a job as a repairman on the watchtower! He's liven his best life and being the definite human man who fixes stuff. However! Problem, he's got no chill when he reeealy needs chill to work this job, the solution? Shit talk in ghost speak! Not like anyone can hear him, it's a completely silent, ghost specific, form of psychic communication! People can in fact, hear him. Specifically the green lanterns, martian manhunter (though, he doesn't understand a word), captain marvel, and superman.

The green lantern rings are outfitted for the exact scenario that he thought protected his chill facade.

Martian manhunter could theoretically understand if he filtered it manually but he has no clue how to do that.

Captain Marvel is the champion of magic and thus knows all magic based communication methods instinctively.

Superman is annoyed as hell batman didn't tell him that he hired a sub-species of kryptonian as an engineer and is refusing to talk to him until he is on world again.

#phiclet

[nerdpoe]

i'm sure people have sent you the answer 293 times already too but just in case, the water texture is a default photo filter on the tumblr photo editor!

WE HAVE A PHOTO EDITOR?

#long post

[nerdpoe]

#ample entertainment givin u a box with leaves and sticks

[nerdpoe]

Kill on Sight Orders

The Flash fam has a secret. Okay so they have a lot of secrets, but there's one above all others.

A kill on sight order.

In the worst possible future (one of them there's a lot), a beast named Phantom decimated the world. He took out the entire Justice League, the entire Justice League Dark, any and all small-time heroes that stood in his way. All of it. Everyone.

If they see Phantom as a kid, to prevent the slightest possible chance of Phantom being a thing, it's kill on sight. They all have anti-ghost weapons that can destroy a ghost's core, locked away in a secure facility that they can just run to and grab real quick to get it done.

None of them like it. None of them can risk it.

Bart stumbles into a town that doesn't exist, almost gets got by a ghost that managed to possess him, and gets saved by...Phantom.

A scrawny, teenage Phantom.

He's funny, makes puns, worries about if Bart got hurt or not-he's nothing like the Bad Phantom!

He's not gonna kill his new friend! No way, no how.

But he's gotta keep it a secret from the other Speedsters now, because he doesn't know who came up with that rule but they probably won't understand, and then he'll have a speedster fight on his hands, and no one wants that.

But the government keeps sending letters of complaint to Max, and Max keeps asking why the government is mad at Bart now, and Bart can't tell him "oh it's because there's this town that is off the record and a secret and also where phantom is and i broke in" because that'd rat Phantom out, and even if he didn't mention Phantom Max would want to investigate.

The mailman doesn't understand why his letters keep disappearing but he thinks it might have something to do with the Flash, because there's always a red blur.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #danny nervously not mentioning that dan. the evil version of himself from the future. is actually very much in the present #but living with some psychotic cheesehead in wisconsin #he and bart kick it off #bart will protect his new ghostly friend with everything he has #wally gets a letter of complaint from the us postal service #telling him that stealing people's mail is a felony

[nerdpoe]

Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.

[nerdpoe]

googling ‘jobs for autistic people’ and realising that everyone still thinks autistic people are either sheldon cooper or really tall toddlers

#FUCK THE BEAR FUCK THE BEAR

[nerdpoe]

Hey. My name is Clitoris Illegal. I'm your hacker for this mission.

[nerdpoe]

i do not want to Work i want to Write

#samesies

[nerdpoe]

"A nessuno è permesso fare una pasta migliore degli italiani," the assassin hissed, trying to slit my throat.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're saying!" I spat, fingers latching onto the metal elephant figuring on my bedside.

I bashed it against the assassin's head, knocking them out cold.

"Sweetie, did another one get past the security sensors again?" Mom asked through the door, groggy and trying to wake herself up.

"Yes! It's okay though I got 'em good."

"Did you swear?"

"...No."

"If I check the security tape will I hear you say a bad word?"

"No!"

Damn, the last no was too desperate. I should have toned it down.

"...You're grounded."

"This family is so unfair!"

You’re a seemingly normal, average 10-year-old child except for one thing: time travelers have been trying to assassinate you for years, and you’re not sure why.

#ficlet #the italian is courtesy of google translate

[nerdpoe]

The first time Danny sees Dick Grayson he calls him Tata.

Danny, in his Ghost Zone travels, befriended the Flying Graysons. John and Mary like him so much, that it started as a joke, sort of.

"Ahhhhh, the son we never had! Welcome!"

"My little Robin's long lost little brother, come, come!"

And it morphed into him jokingly calling them Tata and Daj. Then it wasn't really a joke anymore.

Then the Observants inform him that as far as Ghost Law is concerned, they're his Ghost Guardians.

This means that Danny has two sets of parents; Jack and Maddie on the human side of things, and John and Mary on the ghost side of thing.

So when he sees Dick Grayson, who looks a lot like John, it just slips out.

This leads to a very awkward stare off in the middle of a coffee shop.

Danny has no idea how to explain himself.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #Dick: taking in Danny's age “I was absolutely not active that early in life there's no way” #Danny: internally screaming and freaking out “Understood have a good day.” #Danny: turns and leaves the coffee shop #Dick: “wait time travel is a thing FUCK WAIT COME BACK”